#just here to vent lol

[ifellinlovewithpersona]

Idk why but I have such a big mental block that is preventing me from playing and finishing P3P lol

But I'm in literally last days of the game and I want to move on to other games I planned to play this year ;_;

Why is this happening to me ;_;

#maybe it's because I know how nyx is like but I JUST DON'T FEEL FULLY READY ;_; (more mentally probably) #also i'm tired or grinding in this game way more tired than i was in nocturne for example #tartarus is goddamn awful to grind #i know nyx isn't actually worse than nocturne's lucifer probably or smt v bosses so i should be fine #but idk i just have trauma from when I was playing FES and beat him after 6th trial ;_; #hate to having mental blocks to finish the games tbh :/ #lilly's talking #lilly plays p3p #just here to vent lol #pls my anxiety let me finish this game and move on to dds ;_;

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[oswinthegeek]

‘What is she looking at?’

I haven’t had time to post anything lately, I’m hoping to be more active here in a couple weeks after the play I’m in is over, just a very busy time for me rn.

#remus lupin #remadora #nymphadora tonks #harry potter #art #otp #remus and tonks #tonks #I haven’t been able to get a full nights sleep in weeks #pls I just need one day to myself #it’s been a rough week #I recently found out my best friend is moving across the country possibly permanently and I’m a mess #and it’s worse cause he just got back from a six month trip to said place and I could barely handle that #and I kinda caught feelings realizing how much I missed him and now he’s leaving again in 4 months #I need to stop venting on here lol

[otter-pup]

so I have already been pretty quiet on here recently but uh. i kind of genuinely need to take a step back from sexual stuff for a while - nothing happened, i just think it is maybe a bit unhealthy how much of my time is taken up by Being Horny and Getting Off. like as much as those r both normal I do them too often, like. genuinely. idk when I’ll start being active again but thank u for understanding

#dm responses included in this unfortunately #like look I respect the naturalness of horniness and such. But holy shit #I’m genuinely spending multiple hrs a day. nearly every single day. just getting off. #like that’s not healthy for me #and if I admit it on here it will make it feel a little more like I actually have to commit lol #bc i was saying this this morning. and then spent multiple hours today getting off. #puppybarks #sorry for the vent in the tags im just. really frustrated w myself #and w my relationship w sex/pleasure atm #hoping I will feel better soon

[briviting]

neeew sona reeeef

#(plays finfin once) uh oh #I love paint 3d for allowing me to create a silly-looking new millennium render without having to learn blender #I've said new millennium on this blog way too much recently #for clarificaton: I'm vimbry. but his name is vimen! and to make it more confusing - vimbry is short I. vimen is long I #sometimes I like to draw their design without vents or tail and different ''horns'' #but I was too lazy to demonstrate those here so. a footnote lol #also I'm glad I finally started to draw my sona in glasses bc the idea of a robotic character needing them is funny to me #logically you could fix the eyes but nah. just put corrective lenses in front of them #sona #fursona #vimen #art attag

[nuppu-nuppu]

Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again

#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining #once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol #like idk how to be friends #i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely #and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have #actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality #i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again #because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it #pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic #how do i start living again #how does one live anyway #im just in my head all the time #this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness #im so stupid!!! #im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself #im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself #but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go #idk how to be a person anymore #i’m just sad #thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol

[sysig]

For the last day of requestober, can you please draw something spooky/scary with Negative RGB? With all the cool lighting stuff you've been doing recently, I think it could be very dramatic, and I'd love to see him in your style!

Day 31 -Pl̷̼͙̯̼̟̈́͒̃̓͆e̵̢͔̞̤̯͗as̴̨͆̒̏e dö̸̧̢̝̳́͝ not̸̨̞͔̗͆̔͝ͅ ̶̦̋͒a̵̪͋̉̈́̒djus̶̪͔͎̘͈̍́̂̅̚t yö̶̙̺͎́͘u̷͚̙̿̓͆r sc̸̙͍͒rę̸̰̺̣̿̓͌̔̎en̴̏̈́͊ͅ

#My art #Requestober #The Property of Hate #TPoH #Negative #Flashing gif #I wanted to go out with a bang :) #I had a lot of fun with the textures on this one haha ♪ #I have actually drawn Negative before but I've only posted him once as a vent :0 #He didn't make it over to my taglist 'cause TPoH was the Thing while I was making that sideblog lol - a few things fell through the cracks #Plus I mean vent is just like that sometimes :P #But! He is not vent here! He is just funsies! :D #And those textures were definitely funsies >:3c It was very cool to chip away at them and let them interplay and overlay hehe #I did really want the lighting to be the highlight - no pun intended - since you mentioned it specifically lol #Backlighting again! >:3c I will continue to do it until it stops looking cool! Haha ♪ #The rest is just Negative being spooky all on his lonesome haha he's just like that! #Doing his screen glow was very rewarding ahhh ♥ I've always really loved that hard/soft glow look #I'm still figuring it out but I'm quite pleased with how this one turned out! :D #Also would you like a secret/hint on textures? Hehehe - those static frames? :3c #They're just zoomed-in carpet swatches on the Binary layer type - turn them up and down and rotate to make them unique! #Anyhow hehe ♪ Happy Halloween! :D Happy spooky season! Thank you all for a fun month!! <3 <3

[endlessfuckup]

thanks for feeding us mr. £ester

#loved this video it just kinda felt spontaneous #like he just felt like venting to us lol #very much enjoyed phils energy here #love hearing phil yap #the thomas mention was the cherry on top #his comment under the video was hilarious #dan and phil #amazingphil #thomas sanders

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

oohh my goodness would you look at that. its the tristamp version! at last!! ill admit- this has been all but finished for uuhhh weeks! its been weeks. the only thing ive needed to do is the ampersand. that lil "&" that you see? thats the only thing i needed to do. i just didnt want to.

BUT ITS DONE!! its done and if you want heres the links to the tri98 version and the trimax version

#art #my art #digital art #digital drawing #digital illustration #fanart #trigun #tristamp #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #how long ago did i post the progress of this one... i dont want to look.... #OUUUUU BACK IN JUNE!!! #goddd if you thought there wasnt gonna be a tristamp version of this at all you were so close to bein right i was so close to just never #finishing this LMAOOO (crying) #ITS THE FONT!!! I HATE COPYING FONTS!!!! #genuinely this was the EASIEST font to copy and THATS what got me #i mean thats not the only thing ive been lowkey a lil sad but yaknow im always like that so #that arm also... and his gun.... killed me... i remember.... #for a pacifist this man absolutely slaughtered me #also since im here i might as well vent abt my life im sure no one cares lol who even reads the tags #anyways my toilet broke so that sucks ever since i got back from a trip back in early june itd been squeakin like CRAZY idk if i mentioned #it before in the tags of a different post but itd been drivin me wild like i started hearin it even when i wasnt in my apartment id just #hear the squeaking of my toilet at the grocery store. itd been destroyin my sleep fr i felt so paranoid constantly i had no idea if it was #ever stopping anyways the part that had been sqeakin like. BLEW UP or smn i havent a clue what happened but i heard water runnin in it open #d it up n got blasted in the face with toilet water that was miserable. my granma came over to check it out n the same thing happened to he #then my neighbor came over n got blasted too. called my landlord and a plummers gonna come over tomorrow i have no idea when so i probably #wont be able to sleep at all thatll be fun lol #i feel bad for anyone that does read the tags i hope no one does i always feel a little worried abt it bc i always read the tags on posts #but anyways its been a time. life is life is life. its been spittin on me. i wanna draw more trigun stuff #gosh finally havin this finished feels like a massive weight off my shoulders i havent even wanted to draw anything until i finished this

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!! #im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

[charmac]

i don't think people hcing charlie as transfem are trying to dismiss the transmasc charlie hc! i think it's more of a projection thing for a lot of people, since i know at least a few of the main people who enjoy the headcanon are transfem themselves!! i don't think you have much to worry about in terms of people dismissing the tmasc or other genderqueer charlie hc anyways, since it's already much more popular! i think you're perhaps being a bit too critical.

I've literally never said anything like this at all, I think you've either misinterpreted something else I've said or have the wrong blog.

All of my Charlie gender-based posts or reblogs I've stated/tagged that I think any interpretation of Charlie's gender can make sense, be it transmasculine, transfeminine, nonbinary, agender, whatever you want.

I am one of the ~3 blogs that has access to The Bathroom Problem script and who posted and pointed out that you can make out/slightly hear the Joyce cuts in the episode itself. I would not have excitedly shared that for open-interpretation if I was "worried" people are "dismissing" transmasc Charlie headcanons. (Which, again, I've literally never said, but in any case, I believe it's valid for anyone to dismiss a headcanon they don't agree with, fandom is a sandbox.)

What I personally don't care for are genderbends and, almost by extension, analysis/meta on canon scenes that rename/re-gender the characters with no basis (or, one that comes off wrong). Both topics I've literally never publicly spoken out against here, nor have I said anything bad/negative to everyone who personally enjoys these things, so there is no way for me to possibly be "too critical" in that regard. I keep most of my opinions to myself and my close mutuals, almost exactly for what you're saying: I personally don't want to harsh or dismiss anyone's headcanons.

I have never said, and have never meant to imply, that anyone interpreting Charlie as transfem is attempting to dismiss anyone else's headcanon (which again would be a non issue to me anyway).

#if youre coming here from a certain twitter post #which #mind you was a 3 deep reply to one specific mutual. aka not a public criticism #i believe you are incorrectly interpreting what my issue is #bc it is not about 'headcanon erasure' #and i did not post about it on this blog. never intended to. because im not trying to be critical or dismissive. im venting to mutuals #if youre saying i cant personally have an issue with something idk what to tell you lol. ok? #and if youre one of my mutuals who ive like #personally ranted to about these various things #idk that would be very random and kinda weird to come into my askbox on anon about this #my dms are always open to chat i like having critical and opposing conversations #anyway im not trying to win the charlie gender headcanon war i literally dgaf #i dont even talk about transmasc charlie much at all? so idk where that idea comes from #like im pretty seated in him being amab i just enjoy other peoples transmasc interpretations #im way too rooted in canon in actuality to care much about all this! #hence. why canon misinterpretation bugs me *personally* #ok im going to the back office to get drunk #ask

[violetdisasterzone]

it's kind of sad to say but sometimes I think I'm not cut out for fandom. I've always been more of a lurker than a contributor anyway, but even then I feel like I might just be too much of a canon purist to really be part of them. so much of being on the internet is about curating your own experience, but fanon (mis)interpretations/characterizations are so rampant in some spaces, treated as canon to such an extent that some people literally believe they ARE, that they're often hard to avoid completely.

the point of fandom isn't supposed to be nitpicking every little thing for accuracy, obviously. I like talking with people about my favorite things, and seeing how my thoughts and interpretations match up with theirs. I don't expect everyone's experience with whatever media to be the same. but I think a lot of people view canon as something separate, as something they get to play around with and take the parts they like and change what they don't. and that's fine, but I don't really get it, not entirely. I like playing around with hypotheticals and what-ifs and stuff, but to me canon is always going to be superior/unchangeable. and it's even worse when people will try to use canon to explain that their blatantly fanon-based interpretations are, in fact, canon somehow. and it gets even WORSE when it turns into actual discourse, and suddenly people are claiming that not following their fanon interpretation means something about your real-life values.

it's just kind of exhausting sometimes. I love a lot of y'all on here and it can be so fun to be a part of things, even mostly from the sidelines. but sometimes all I want is to close social media forever and reread my novels in peace

#this is something I've had a hard time with for a while tbh #I'm never quite sure how to put it into words but I was v annoyed earlier so here this is #and you may be thinking #'vi it's not that deep just close the app if you want to leave' #which yes. but also can't a person complain a bit!! #I think curating your fandom experience is also kind of hard if you're more of a part-time lurker #than if you have a bunch of mutuals who you regularly talk to outside of post interactions lol #which could definitely be part of my problem. unless it's just a ME problem #I want to know if this is a me problem or if others experience this #but I also don't really want my shitty vent post to be reblogged lmao

[itspileofgoodthings]

You ever get blessings and have to count ‘em but they’re not the blessings you want lol

#the hand of God taking care of me!!! Giving me exactly what I need to get through even in the way of little treats and kindnesses #and gentle surprises #and none of them being the thing that my heart wants. just not even close. #lol #I’m sorry I come on here every day and just vent about the human condition #but yeah #thanks for listening

[daz4i]

the cool thing about headcanons is they're all correct. there's no point in arguing over them because we all bring ourselves and our own lives into our perception of characters and stories. peace and love on planet earth

#if you ever bring up a hc and i disagree/bring up a contradictory one #please PLEASE don't take it as an attack. I'm glad you have your own thing. i have mine. we can and should coexist :) #I'd say. even if a hc directly contradicts canon information. that's fine too. it doesn't hurt anyone. have fun #it's fine to care about it and want things to be accurate but if someone's hc bothers you this much you can always just block em #(I'm saying this as someone who gets bothered by this sort of thing lol I'm aware i may come as hypocritical here :P #- but i do think this way even if i sometimes forget to practice it. none of this matters that much. #- still if you see me posting otherwise it is absolutely never a personal attack and more like venting frustration due to caring too much - #- and is therefore not your problem so don't even worry about it 🙏)

[babacontainsmultitudes]

80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.

#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha #I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours... #''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months #Like #Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death #But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky! #I worry a lot about wasting my life #I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death #Or a painful one #I suppose I've always been gerascophobic... #But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately... #I haven't been great I guess #I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!! #And I've been going nowhere. #:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think #Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me. #*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol #😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old #🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent #working on some different stuff for a bit. #ANYWAYS #I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️ #oh or day if it's day for you lol

[burnhamandtilly]

finally scored another job interview after MONTHS of looking for it, so why am I hyperventilating just thinking about it????

#why is my brain like that??????? i hate it here #maybe I'm just really afraid of fucking this up 😭 #but it's definitely out of my hands.. they will either like my work or not. i can only do much to influence that. #but i still worry a lot 😭 #incurable anxiety disease lol #don't kind me I'm just venting out #anny.txt