#jumin x mc x jihyun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pochipop · 2 years

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＃MYSTIC MESSENGER !! ♡ — LOVE LANGUAGES (GIVING/RECEIVING).

#. synopsis! — how they love and like to be loved .

#. characters! — jumin, yoosung, jihyun (v), saeran (ray), hyun (zen), saeyoung (707) .

#. warnings! — none .

#. alt accounts! — @ddollipop (nsfw) @yyolkchi (reblog/spam) .

#. others! — navigation & masterlist .

𖦹. ━ JUMIN !!

Jumin gives gifts and acts of service. The revolving door of women his father brought in and out of his life profoundly impacted Jumin's view of love. He hardened himself to the idea of it all, closing his emotions off in order to protect himself. Allowing himself to feel, to love and be loved in turn, is a foreign concept to him. However, Jumin is well accustomed to offering physical things as a means of showing appreciation; so giving gifts is a natural part of his immediate range. The same goes for providing acts of service. He's long been seen as the capable businessman, secure in his ability to complete tasks efficiently, so actively doing things for you comes easily to him. Jumin presents you with flowers often, and buys you new jewelry every few weeks. He also indulges you in your hobbies, giving you things to support your endeavors in order to silently cheer you on when words don't come as easily. He offers to help you even when it's clear you don't need it, —just to be sure, and he's on top of every chore and every need you share with him.

Jumin likes to receive quality time & words of affirmation. As a businessman, Jumin knows how precious time is. He's worked against thousands of deadlines by this point in his life, —has set a thousand more in turn, and understands the importance of punctuality and diligence. By no means is his interpersonal relationship standard different in that regard. He feels loved and special when you actively make time for him, because he knows that when someone does that, it's because they care. A lot. Jumin has many insecurities about being in a romantic relationship, worried that he might make one wrong move and watch the foundation crumble. More than anything, he fears being alone. However, those worries can be quenched easily enough by some softly spoken words. Whisper in his ear when he's almost asleep, —pull him in and kiss at the shell of his ear before telling him you're thankful for all the things he's done for you. Shower him in praise every once and a while; let him bask in it. Offering words of affirmation to him will let him know he's doing alright, especially on the days when he feels inadequate as a lover, will go more than a long way. It doesn't take much to soothe him down when it comes from you.

𖦹. ━ YOOSUNG !!

Yoosung gives physical touch. He's far from shy about loving you. In fact, Yoosung is beyond proud to have you by his side. He really feels like he hit the jackpot with you, —admires you as a person as much as he loves you as a partner. He thinks you're the best, sweetest, most capable person in the entire world, and he shows all of that through lots of varying physical means. Whenever the two of you go out together, his hand is sure to slip its way into your own very quickly. Behind closed doors, he's infinitely clingier. Not that he doesn't understand personal space, and he'll be sure to give it to you if you express that you need it, but Yoosung's main and most prominent love language is physical touch, and he'd like to be near you as often as possible. It doesn't have to be overt: something as simple as sitting close together with your knees resting against one another's is something he'll offer to show he loves you. More than anything, he likes to give you hugs, —the kind that feel a little crushing at first until you relax into them. The warm kind that make you feel safe. Yoosung likes to play with your fingers and hair, likes to trail his fingers down your arms when you're resting against him. He'll press kisses wherever he can: your knuckles, the crown of your head, your cheeks, your forehead, —you name it.

Yoosung likes to receive words of affirmation. All things considered, Yoosung is by no means a demanding partner. In fact, he expects very little from you and would never press for something you were unwilling to give. Still, even someone like him, who comes across as very happy-go-lucky and aloof, needs reassurance every once in a while. In reality, he might need it more than most. He might not show it, but insecurity eats him alive at night, keeps him awake. It doesn't have to be gushing praise, —it doesn't even have to be overwhelmingly overt. Just small acknowledgments in tiny increments, like telling him he should rest because he worked hard today or reminding him to eat properly because he needs to take care of himself. Compliments about his appearance are the least needed since Yoosung isn't much concerned with looks of all things, but he does like to be told that he's handsome, and even if being called "cute" isn't favorable from others, he likes it when you say it. When it comes from you, it doesn't feel condescending, and it doesn't feel like you're speaking down to him or downplaying his maturity. It just makes him smile.

𖦹. ━ JIHYUN !!

Jihyun gives quality time + acts of service. Guilt runs deep, and Jihyun has not shed the skin of the man he used to be. He has yet to grow into the new flesh of the person he's always yearned to be. He hesitates to touch or offer words of affirmation, lest he make a mistake. But he feels most confident when you sit alongside him; when you watch him work, sit somewhere in the distance and let him take candid pictures of you that he treasures. That quality time fuels him, gives him hope for a brighter future; one where the stars never fail to shine. He likes to feel your presence, even if only from a distance sometimes. Jihyun also goes out of his way to be kind, not out of obligation, but out of desire. When you smile, he feels the warmth of the sun on his skin, —and he seeks to bathe in it for as long as you'll allow. So, he makes you tea or coffee in the mornings, memorizes all your favorite add-ins and the exact amounts you prefer. He pays close attention to the things you enjoy and will offer to help whenever he gets the opportunity. He would go to the ends of the Earth for you if the need arose, but for now, he hopes this freshly prepared lunch is enough to show his love.

Jihyun likes to receive quality time. Since brushing death, Jihyun has come to realize that life is short. In realizing that, he likes to take your time, even if that seems selfish at points. He wants nothing more than for you to be with him, no matter what either of you are doing. He's happy to sit in a silent room with you as you read or finish up some work. All he wants is to be near you. Sometimes, he thinks it's because he hasn't quite grasped that you really do love him, which is of no fault of your own, and unconditionally at that. He hasn't fully processed that you'll love him even when he's weak, —even when he's down and has no idea how to stand up on his own two feet again. All he really wants is for you to be there through all the seasons of him. Experience the chilliest of winters, the most colorful autumns, the sweltering summers, and be there when the middle ground is found once more in his blissful spring retreats as new flowers blossom in the wake of his pent-up tears. He just wants to know that he can turn your way and find you there, ready and willing to listen or even just sit with him for a while.

𖦹. ━ SAERAN !!

Saeran gives acts of service. It's something he's long grown accustomed to, but this time, they're all of his own free will. Words often fail him, and he clams up when the pressure builds, insisting that there's nothing he wants to say. Be patient with him; give him the time he needs to process things, to accept that he deserves to be loved and to love you. Until then, look for his love in the acts of service he provides. His affection is threaded through the snacks he brings to you when he knows you've been working on something for a while, —it's written in between the lines of the way he makes your dinner plate first and takes it when you're finished to wash the dishes before you can make the move to do so. Saeran's love is muted sometimes, and maybe it's not as loud as he'd like it to be, but he's trying his best one day at a time. Let him take care of the chores he knows you dislike, let him soothe his fears of being unworthy as he asks if you need anything every time he gets up to go to the kitchen. He doesn't yet have another way to tell you how he feels. But know he cares, and he's trying every single day, both for himself and for you.

Saeran likes to receive physical touch + words of affirmation. Though he rarely reacts to either, whether that be positive or negative, he likes it when you put your arms around his neck, pull him in close, and tell him that he's enough. Not in that exact phrasing, of course, as that might be a bit overwhelming to him, but when you thank him for the things he does, he knows what you mean. He appreciates compliments about his intelligence, especially when they don't pertain to his work. Saeran also feels hideous sometimes; both inside and out, so compliments about his physical appearance and general personality go a long way. Especially when you acknowledge that he pays attention to your needs, —those comments let him know that you take his actions into consideration and that you see him, that you see his expressions of love, even if they're quiet. Saeran also yearns for warmth. Share yours with him. Don't be offended by the way he tenses sometimes, or the way his body reacts slowly to physical affection. He likes it, he just isn't used to it yet. But he wants to be. Run your thumb across his knuckles and let him melt into you, let his weary head rest on your shoulder. He needs it.

𖦹. ━ HYUN (ZEN) !!

Hyun gives physical touch + quality time. When he touches you, each one is a way for him to say "I love you" without having to muster up the courage to do so through verbal means. That's the hard part, and he worries that saying it might make it too real for you, —it makes him scared that you might hear it and run. That's just his own insecurity talking, but his perception is his reality. Feel his love through the way his fingertips ghost across your skin, in the way his lips press against your temple. Hyun cares more than he could ever say with words. When it comes to you, he can't act the part. Everything is stripped bare, core exposed when he's with you. In that time, —the time he makes for you amidst memorizing lines and weaving his way through adoring fans, Hyun is quick to realize what means the most to him. He loves his job, loves performing, loves being an actor, but he loves you just as much. The time he spends with you is sacred to him, and he values it. He just hopes you do too. Though he's a busybody, someone who likes to be doing things at all times in order to feel productive, Hyun still cherishes the moments of peace he finds with you, and he'd give anything to make them longer: even infinite.

Hyun likes to receive words of affirmation + physical touch. Though he's accustomed to compliments as someone who works on the stage under bright, white lights, compliments from you about any and everything are just. . . Different. They hold a different weight than all the others, perhaps because you know him so intimately, and when you tell him he's handsome, you mean it in a way that his fans simply can't. You mean it in the way that every part of him is pretty, —even the ones he hates and tries to bury deep inside. You mean it in the way that he's always dreamed someone would. Hyun also likes to be touched as much as he likes touching you; and little things go a long way. Holding his hand, letting him rest in your lap, smoothing your thumb over the side of his palm when you lace your fingers with his. . . He goes crazy for that stuff, watches himself divulge into a lovesick mess when you kiss him and make him feel like he's the only man in the world. All he really wants is to be enough, and when you hold him close, he knows he is.

𖦹. ━ SAEYOUNG (707) !!

Saeyoung gives gifts + acts of service. He often feels that his touch, time, and words are invaluable, and his upbringing influenced those feelings into fruition. Saeyoung often feels inadequate and uses humor to cover the scars that run deeper than any flesh wound ever could. Because of this, he often uses his wealth to purchase items for you, and he uses those gifts to express his affections. It's easier for him to give you a present than it is to work up the courage to pull you in and squeeze you until he's had his fill. He also expresses himself through acts of service, —things like getting your favorite snacks and making sure they're always available for you or offering to help you when he sees that you're the one cleaning up around his place rather than Vanderwood, even when he's preoccupied by something else. He's quick to jump at any opportunity to do something kind for you, and he'd even go to dangerous lengths to do it. Not that it'll be necessary!

Saeyoung likes to receive words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time. He desires everything he fears would never be enough from him. Though he tries not to show it, it's easy for someone close to him (metaphorically and in proximity) to see when he's beating himself up over something. Offer him comfort: hold him, tell him that it's okay for him to not be perfect all the time. He's allowed to feel things, is allowed to make mistakes, because before being a hacker, before being your lover, —he is human. Sometimes, it seems that he forgets that. Your embrace offers him a sanctuary from the harsh realities of the world. Your words numb the ache that lingers in his soul. If you can, he'd also like it if you'd sit with him while he works. It doesn't have to be close to him, —just being in the same room tells him everything he needs to know. He wants your time, even if he's scared to ask for it directly. He wants to crumble into pieces in your arms every once in a while, just so you can hold him together. Saeyoung is human, after all.

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marsvlog · 2 years

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mc and zen doing the heart lipstick trend <3 also mc did his makeup :P

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xelasrecords · 11 months

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As Daylight Comes

Han Jumin x MC

Jumin and MC have been married for a while, and their friendship with Jihyun is stronger than ever, so what better way to spend their morning together than to have breakfast with a side of teasing and musing on life?

Challenging myself to write a fluffy domestic scene because I realised I rarely write one. I also wanted to write Jihyun with his good ending personality because I barely see it in fics, so here he is at his healthiest mentally.

Words: 3.8k

Masterlist Read on AO3

The two men's hushed laughter eased her awake, the morning sun a soft gleam behind her closed eyelids. The first voice was clear and deep, one that she heard every day and night spoken like an oath to her soul. The second was gentler, a pleasant lilting voice that she and her husband often heard in their regular calls. She smiled to herself and threw the covers aside; she had already known who she would see before reaching the doorway. They were the sounds that she knew well and loved.

At the dining table, Jumin, her Jumin, was sitting with his back facing her, the sleeves of his navy sweater rolled up. He was leaning forwards, engrossed in telling what she was sure to be a fascinating idea he had recently thought of and possibly should not ever be acted upon. Jihyun was sitting on the other side, his head ducked in an attempt to smother his laughter, mint hair catching the glimmer of sunlight that passed through the floor-length windows as he moved.

Her heart felt whole at the sight of their dearest friend. Finally, they were together. They did not have to painstakingly arrange calls that were always cut too short by their own lives anymore.

Watching them, she didn't think it was possible for them to be any less content than they were now and almost didn't want to intrude. Jumin's sincere laugh, the unrestrained kind only she could pull out, was floating across their spacious home. But she knew them, and knew that they would rather her join them and make their happiness complete. Time did not wear out their love for her, or her love for them. It strengthened their bond, pulling them in tighter than ever.

She could never grow tired of it. It was a feeling she had become accustomed to, yet still marvelled at the wonder, the near impossibility of it.

She padded across the room, the light granite floor cold beneath her feet, and slid her arm around Jumin's shoulders. "Wonderful morning everyone. I wasn't aware we had company." She pressed her lips against his mussed black hair, catching a faint whiff of fresh wild cedar. Jihyun, having seen her approach, visibly brightened and gave her a wide smile, one she graciously returned.

With one hand around her waist, Jumin pulled her onto his lap and kissed her shoulder, sliding up the thin strap of her loose top that had drooped down. "The company had stopped by unannounced."

Jihyun looked sheepish. "I'm sorry we woke you up. I thought we had been quiet enough."

"I'm honestly furious that you didn't wake me up earlier," she said good-naturedly. "Were you just going to leave if I didn't?"

"Jumin told me how you had to stay up all night for work. I didn't want to disturb you."

She waved it away and picked up a turkey sandwich in front of her, eating it with enthusiasm. "Disturb me all you want. I welcome it."

"Are you sure you don't need more rest?" Jumin murmured into her ear, both arms circling her waist. "I could force him to stay until you wake up later. Glue him to the chair with a powerful adhesive or a magic spell. I may not be the pioneer of creativity, but I have brought several creative projects to fruition. I could think of something."

"With determination comes great result?" she suggested.

"Exactly. There is no reason I can't attempt sorcery if nothing else works."

She turned around and winked. "I could help you with the enchantment."

He sighed into the crook of her neck. "This is why I married you, my exceptional wife. You are ever supportive and full of love."

Jihyun smiled despairingly into his slice of sandwich. "Why are you two the way you are?"

She and Jumin shrugged in one coordinated movement.

As she scanned the table for more food, she realised there were a variety of sandwiches and fruits spread across the marble top. Silently, she sent Jihyun her gratitude for bringing an abundance of anything other than pancakes. However much she loved Jumin, she was quite sick of slathering strawberry jam or maple syrup or even more strawberries on the pancakes he made.

The fruit assortment interestingly lacked strawberries too.

"This sandwich is good, Jihyun. Did you make this?" She examined her second helping of a toasted cheese sandwich in her hand. The cheese was still oozing when she bit into it.

He grinned. "Ah, it is?"

She performed a dramatic moan. "Orgasmically so."

She held back her laugh at the mischievous glint in his sea-green eyes. Truthfully, she might have sent a text to Jihyun to save her from a lifetime of pancake breakfast. And he might have responded to her plea with utmost seriousness and come to her rescue the very next day.

It was a possibility that they might have conspired on something that would have mildly offended Jumin, yes.

Some secrets were best kept as secrets.

But Jumin, blissfully oblivious, was studying her with extreme amusement. "I have to remind you that we skipped our morning sex. If you are heavily aroused, you only need to ask." His voice had dropped low, his breathing fanning her neck. "I will give you everything that you desire. It is what I wish for myself as well."

She leaned against his chest and whispered, "Make it an afternoon quickie. Let's do it later."

"So you're giving me the order to wait." His hands ran up the inside of her bare thighs until they reached the lining of her shorts, his clothed knees nudging her legs open. She suppressed a shiver; familiar was his touch to her, a pleasurable rush still spread across her skin whenever he did it. "What do I get in return? A fair bargain has to benefit both parties."

She squirmed against his thighs on purpose, knowing the friction would crack his composure. "You get a lesson in patience," she drawled, voice low and raspy, "and I get to watch you exercise your iron will. I will be satisfied. Didn't you want me to feel good?"

Jumin looked scandalised. "In nowhere would that be constituted as a fair deal, and patience is a virtue I have long been practising. I wish to propose an alternative."

"Shall I take my leave?" Jihyun interrupted. "I don't have to see to know what you two are doing down there."

"Nothing!" Hastily, she put away Jumin's hands and grabbed Jihyun's over the table before he could stand, ignoring Jumin's huffing. "Please stay. We are two very chaste adults."

Jihyun's smile was wry. "That's not what I heard about your sex life."

"You told him?" She whirled on Jumin. "I thought you'd have more respect for my intimate life. This is a breach of my privacy. I'd never got a betrayal of this magnitude, and from my own husband!"

"Interesting," Jumin said. "Would you like to know how he reacted when I recounted our latest session? He was not surprised. Not one bit. In fact, he was too ready to supply a reaction. I have to wonder if he had prepared himself beforehand."

She narrowed her eyes at Jihyun. "You traitor."

"I was just trying to be supportive, but I suppose Jumin has always been too good at reading my intentions." Jihyun shook his head regretfully.

"That's right," Jumin said, a smug tone in his voice. He was always proud when he could prove their decades of friendship through their mutual understanding.

With a scoff, she shifted to the chair beside him and scooped a handful of blueberries and an egg sandwich into his plate before doing the same for Jihyun. When she looked down, she saw that Jihyun had filled hers as well. For a while, the dining room was silent as they dug into their meal, save for the cutleries clinking against plates and fabrics rustling when they helped each other with more food and drinks.

She could live like this every day, she thought. It wouldn't be so bad to have Jihyun here more often. Jumin was one of the kindest people she had ever known, but he had edges that remained sharp and could only soften in the presence of his best friend. Jumin with Jihyun was fully at peace, and Jihyun was no different. He spoke his mind without holding back and did not hesitate to share his art with him. Between them was a sense of safety she never found between anyone else.

Anyone else except her own friendship with him.

Jihyun meant just as much to her, and she to him. They would sacrifice their sleep if one was ringing up the other in dire trouble, despite being on opposite sides of the globe. And sometimes Jumin would leave them to talk into the night while he slept, knowing they had things they were more comfortable sharing alone, though he would chide her for the black rings under her eyes in the morning and fuss over her.

Jumin was never jealous. Rather, he was delighted that his wife got along well with his best friend and had no qualms announcing it whenever he could, not caring if anyone thought it strange. To him, the joy of seeing the two people he loved the most being close surpassed other petty emotions. She could read it on his face. It would have broken his heart if they found each other's company distasteful.

She wondered if it was the same for Jumin, if he could see that she cherished Jihyun and had missed him too. She might have entered their lives later, but time did not dictate closeness. If someone were to be taken out of the equation, the other two would be left flailing, stranded with half of their string cut.

She felt the three of them were always better when they existed in the same space.

"Did you know why he came here?" Jumin cut through her thoughts and gestured at Jihyun. "He claimed to have forgotten his camera. Under normal circumstances, I would have accepted it as a reasonable excuse, except he has done this three times."

"You said it like it's a bad thing. Do you not want me to drop by?" Jihyun asked mildly.

Jumin raised his brows. "You're an artist. You could have come up with a more creative excuse."

She straightened up and looked right into Jihyun's lively eyes. They were the eyes that had freed themselves from the sorrow that plagued his younger, more foolish years. "Ignore this cynical guy. He doesn't know that joy is found in little things. I, for one, commend you for your intricate planning. That is some strategising and determination you have shown. Anyone who doesn't appreciate your effort shouldn't be eating your food." She glared at Jumin.

"Thank you for recognising my effort, but that isn't all." Jihyun paused. "I also missed you. I enjoyed my trip, but the places I visited made me yearn to come back because you weren't there. Of course, I speak including you, Jumin."

"I see I have been demoted to an afterthought," remarked Jumin.

"That is what you get for acting all mighty." She rose to fetch a glass of orange juice from across the table, Jumin holding back the front of her loose white top as she leaned, but Jihyun was faster. He had noticed what she had been eyeing before and placed the glass in front of her. She smiled gratefully at him; she doubted there was anyone more eager to help than Jihyun. It was a quality she and Jumin liked to discuss admiringly among themselves.

Jumin settled back into his seat and picked a grape from the centre platter. "I don't appreciate the poor translation of my intention."

"At least you know you can rhyme," she said and turned to Jihyun. "You have to know how much he pined for you. He stared out the window like a Victorian lady waiting for her husband to be relieved from his duty. I thought he was one second away from being locked in the attic." She shook her head solemnly. "So close to being driven to madness from yearning."

Jumin let out a flat gasp. "Why, I never."

"Nevertheless," she pounced on, "I am not without conscience and virtue to lock anyone away, especially when that person is someone of my own heart, so I had no choice but to persist. Have some pity on me, I beg you!" She clutched at her chest.

Jihyun burst into laughter, which produced a small smile from Jumin. "All right, I'll admit I missed you," Jumin gave in. "I could use seeing you more often."

A brief look of wonder flashed in Jihyun's eyes, searching Jumin's and was quickly reassured when they recognised the familiar fondness in his unwavering gaze. The steel in Jumin's grey eyes dared Jihyun to refute it, but he wouldn't, not this grown version of him.

Some people struggled with getting used to being loved unabashedly. She recalled when Jihyun was a younger boy and how he would rather stake himself than accept the love he was given, but that was long ago. Time and their persistence in loving him had encouraged him to be brave, and Jihyun himself had learned to allow people to love him. The vulnerability of baring your soul to love someone could be unbearable, but believing you were worthy of love could be just as unthinkable.

She was glad he had Jumin to rely on when they were children, and Jumin had him to be his true self with. What had been a constant, stumbling search for faith in each other had grown into intrinsic trust.

"How long can we do this still?" she wondered aloud. "Sometimes I feel like we haven't changed—we have eaten together like this more times than I could count—but we're not who we were anymore, are we?"

"Four hundred and five times," Jumin stated. "Barring other types of gatherings and casual hang-outs. A lot of things have happened since the first one." He lifted her hand against his lips and kissed the back of it reverently. She remembered the time before they fell for each other and how after they had, their connection had become more intimate than she had thought possible.

"You keep track, I should've guessed." Jihyun's voice held infinite softness. "It was an eternity ago. Goodness, we were such wide-eyed kids then."

"Perhaps the time we have left doesn't matter as much as the time we have shared together—the time we are sharing now," Jumin said. "But sometimes as I'm living in the present, I can already see how we will be entombed in history, though it's a memory that I will look back on fondly."

"Please don't say 'entombed'," she said. "Memories don't die just because they have passed. We keep them alive, just like this. We'll continue to talk about nonsense and eat good food and be there for one another. Otherwise, we wouldn't have anything to hold on to when life gets hard."

"Or maybe we won't do this forever. We can't tell what the future holds," Jihyun mused. "Change is the natural order of the universe, but in this life full of changes, I can always count on you two to be here for me, to make me happy." He smiled at them, the corner of his eyes crinkling. Jumin nodded contentedly, and she laid her head on his shoulder, sharing his peace.

"I certainly would be appalled if I stayed the same all these years." She shuddered. "I like that we change together, that our new shapes still fit each other somehow. I've grown out of enough friendships to know that this isn't always the case."

"I'm afraid I cannot comment much on friendships." Jumin frowned. "My friendship with Jihyun is the only true one that I have, but it wouldn't be complete if you never came into my life—our lives. I will always be thankful for that. You brought us all closer."

With an arm propped on the table, she watched Jumin's thoughtful expression and eased the crease between his forehead. He had spoken aloud of what she was thinking about earlier, the completeness of the bond between the three of them. It was funny, how sometimes it was as if his mind and hers were intertwined. The time they spent together has left an indisputable mark, seemingly without her notice.

Time was often like that. One day you clambered through life with cuts on your knees and found yourself standing on steadier ground, wiser but irreparably changed in the next. It did not beat on a steady rhythm; it sprinted and languished at the exact moments you wished it not to.

"Everything he said was true," Jihyun reached over the table to squeeze her hand. It was soft in her touch. "You're a blessing on earth. I was right to come here right away."

"Meeting us is always the right decision," said Jumin adamantly.

"Except if he's asking you to translate an ancient necromancy spellbook that's ninety-nine per cent fake, then maybe it isn't a good idea to be here," she added.

"Ninety-nine per cent?" Jumin sounded offended. "It's disrespectful to equate a book that holds mystical wonders unimaginable to mankind to a lousy disinfectant."

Jihyun ignored him and looked at her warily.

"He made me light up pungent-smelling candles around the house with him. I still don't want to know what kind of candles they were." She grimaced at the memory. "We had to move out for a few weeks until the smell disappeared."

Jihyun wrinkled his nose at Jumin. "What dead creature were you trying to raise?"

"A mouse that my bodyguard accused Elizabeth the Third has killed. Petty murders are below a lady as dignified as she," he declared with conviction. "I should know."

A look of surprise passed over Jihyun's face. "And you care enough about the mouse to call it back from death?" he asked slowly.

"I needed to put it under interrogation to extract the exact cause of its death," Jumin said. "It was imperative that I clear Elizabeth the Third's name."

"Naturally," she cut in cheerfully. "When one dies, one can simply be revived and questioned about one's lethal injury. No worries whatsoever that recalling the event might be traumatic to them."

"Did it, um"—Jihyun struggled to find the right word—"come alive?"

Jumin sighed in defeat. "I would have to try again another time."

"You would not." Her tone was severe. "You will either lose the truth of Elizabeth the Third's innocence or me. Your choice."

Jumin looked tortured, but she did not budge. Jihyun's eyes danced between them with amusement.

Eventually, Jumin splayed his hands out in resignation. "I shall comply with your wishes."

She patted his arm. "It's for the best. You don't want to accidentally exorcise the whole world with your corpse-raising activities. I can only support your hobbies up to a point, love."

At that, Jihyun chortled into his drink and Jumin shot him a betrayed look, though he still offered his handkerchief to him. "Not that I don't believe in you," Jihyun said when he calmed down, "but your experiments tend to be disastrous. Maybe you should consider those around you. We're the ones who have to deal with your mess."

Jumin crossed his arms. "You two have no loyalty towards me, especially you, dear lovely wife." He tilted his head at her. "You're supposed to be the love of my life. My sworn life partner for eternity."

She rolled her eyes. "Please, I did agree to glue Jihyun earlier. Was that not enough?"

"This is about me now?" asked Jihyun.

She produced a coy smile. "You're always in our hearts."

Jumin, seeing the opportunity to shift the blame, quickly said, "That's true."

"You two have sadistic hearts," Jihyun pointed out.

"Don't even try to deny that sadism isn't what you're into," she said and grinned when his cheeks heated up. "I know about your fantasies too."

Unfortunately, Jumin took this moment to inspect the table and made an astute observation, cutting off Jihyun's stammering. "It has occurred to me that we have too many sandwiches and no pancake in sight."

Her and Jihyun's attention snapped on each other, eyes widening in horror.

"Did you know how easy it is to make a strawberry pancake, Jihyun? We could eat it every day," Jumin went on.

"We could, yes," Jihyun said tactfully, "but it doesn't mean we should. Anything too much could make you sick, my friend."

"And I'm full," she chimed in. "Maybe next time?"

"She did eat a lot earlier," Jihyun said.

"Did you?" Jumin stared at her with suspicion.

She leaned back and rubbed her stomach. "A whole lot. If you force me to eat, I'd have no choice but to vomit everything onto your lap. That would disrespect Jihyun's hard work on packing all this food, and I'd be sick and have to eat again—which would be a major annoyance with a burned throat—and you'd have to change into stripeless pants."

Jumin looked puzzled. "But I have other striped pants."

"Not if I used all of them to clean up the vomit."

He sighed but relented. "If you say so."

When Jumin averted his gaze, she breathed out a silent air of relief and felt Jihyun nudging her foot beneath the table, a playful twinkle in his eyes. His lips were pressed into a flat line, fighting the smile threatening to break his sympathetic ruse. She prodded his foot back and gave him a light shrug.

Not long after, Jihyun would have to leave for yet another thing and she and Jumin would have to count the days until the next time they met. But it was not their concern yet. Right now, the murmurs of their talk and the music of their laughs were enough for her. There was nothing to complain about when they made her happy.

Distance and frequency of meetings did not matter. She could have one minute with them together and still be satisfied, however temporary the satisfaction might be. A mere minute would make her yearn for more until they piled up to make an infinite, but she was not demanding. Whatever little time they could carve out of their routine was enough.

This was good. They were happy and radiant and comfortable that she allowed herself to believe that it could last forever.

And it would. Their love would never wane.

Footnotes:

One thing I love about their friendship is how honest they are with their appreciation. They're not ashamed of showing that they care, and their elegant linguistic style (though V's is more casual than Jumin's) makes it easy to write their vulnerable feelings just as they are. They don't toughen up their words or purposely censor them when they get emotional. They're fluent in articulating their feelings, and I think this would be even more natural when they've all been close for a long time.

The domestic scene challenge was made easier since I was vibrating with giddiness to express more love for Jumin and V. I'm the happiest when I write about love and them. Grinning maniacally every time I type their story out.

Before anyone comes at me, I don't think Jumin would be jealous. He could be possessive when he's gripped by his darker thoughts, but in this phase of his life, he's stable. He's secure in his marriage, he has a grounded relationship that's nurtured over the years with MC, and he shares a safe emotional space with V. Everyone is at their best here. The three of them have complete trust and respect for each other.

When I first started writing here, I used to think I have to make the MC's personality neutral enough so that most readers could relate, but now it's free real estate. I do whatever I want.

I was nostalgic about my college days' friendship, hence the more sombre tone in the middle. It feels natural in my friendships to joke around and make sexual quips in one moment and reflect on life in the next. I wanted to recreate that safety and sense of belonging I used to feel.

This was supposed to be finished earlier but I suddenly went through a friendship breakup during the editing stage, so I couldn't find it in me to write about the joys of friendship when I just severed one of mine. She was my close friend for almost a decade. I still think about her from time to time.

Buy me a glass of something that's definitely not coffee because I can't stand it but it is the website's name if my story touches you in some way? No worries if you don't. I'm still grateful you've read all the way through here.

#experimenting my ot3 dynamic #well this isn't an ot3 per se but i love these men #xela writes #jumin x mc #jihyun kim platonic #mystic messenger #jihyun kim #jumin han #mystic messenger v #jumin han fluff #jumin han comfort #jihyun kim comfort #mysme #mystic messenger fanfic #jumin han fic #jihyun kim fic

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fishsticksloser · 1 year

Text

TikToks

RFA & Minor Duo

Warnings: cringy content, possible swearing, links added

A/N: I just got bored. Some of these are pretty old, I've been collecting them

Zen

He's on theatre kid TikTok, of course

He sends you videos of people singing, ones that made him get goosebumps

He sends you dancing videos as well, sometimes goofy ones

Examples:

Link. Link. Link. Link. Link.

Yoosung

Gaming things

Funny clips from streamers he does and doesn't watch

Sometimes game release dates.

Snapcube dub complications

Examples:

Link. Link. Link. Link. Link

Jaehee

Those videos where they make pages dedicated to one thing/color

ASMR videos (kind of go hand in hand with the above)

Coffee videos

Examples:

Link. Link. Link. Link. Link.

Jumin

Conspiracies he thinks are real (because he believes pretty much everything in the internet)

Cat videos

I don't know how to describe some these so here are just some examples:

Link. Link. Link. Link. Link.

Seven

Memes.

That's it... Just memes...

Examples (there's a lot):

Link. Link. Link. Link. Link.

Link. Link. Link. Link. Link

Art

Any kind

Photography, pottery, paint, whatever

Examples:

Link. Link. Link. Link. Link.

Saeran

Cooking videos.

Ones with soft music

Mostly pastries and desserts

Examples:

Link. Link. Link. Link. Link.

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onlinekitsune · 1 year

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Reactions to MC confessing their feelings first ◛ ♥︎

tis the season for writing sweet confessions!!! i just wanted an excuse to write some cute stuff with some of the mysmes characters! might include a tad bit of angst but it’s worth it i promise!! also some minor route spoilers, nothing direct

JAEHEE KANG ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

honestly was pretty hesitant to give an answer, not because she didn’t like you, but because she was completely enamored by you, was so shocked about her feelings and how you made her feel, it was a good feeling but so very new, after thinking on it she said yes, she didn’t want to lose you nor this feeling, she was a bit intimidated and timid about dating, but knew with you she’d be okay, she’d apologize for her delayed answer by gifting you flowers on your first date, you couldn’t help but noticed how bright she was with you

JUMIN HAN ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

being a ceo of a multibillion dollar company it wasn’t odd to be confessed to, jumin had grown used to it and thought of them to be annoyances, however when you confessed and asked him on a date it was so very different, jumin couldn’t recall the other confessions leaving him this way, his heart fluttered and he felt the heat rise from his collar, the way your voice sounded saying his name echoed in his head, he was stunned and was lost in his thoughts, when you tilted your head he snapped back and immediately said yes, he planned your date for that very night

SAERAN CHOI ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

thoroughly convinced that this was a dream, but after blinking three times you still were stood there smiling, his heart ached, on one hand he loved you dearly, you made him incredibly happy and made his world blossom, on the other he was still dealing with the guilt, he dragged you into a not so pleasant situation, that could of gone incredibly wrong, he didn’t deserve you, you knew him too well to know what was going on in his head, you added reassurance that you wanted to be with him and what happened was more complicated than what he thought, sorting out he feelings he decided on a yes, he wanted to make it up to you

SAEYOUNG CHOI ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

when you confessed to him, he couldn’t help but to laugh and give you a little pout, he was planning to confess to you first, and was a little upset (in a funny/not serious way) that you done it first, accepted but pestered you to let him plan the date since you “ruined” his confession, he made sure the date was very dramatic and as extravagant as he could make it, it was clear on how much you meant to him just by that alone

V / KIM JIHYUN ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

half surprised half filled with guilt, after everything that has happened he was convinced that he wasn’t worthy of love, but after meeting you, after getting closer to you he couldn’t help but fall hard for you, he admitted his mutual feelings but shared his feelings that he didn’t feel worthy enough, you of course told him he was absolutely worthy, you didn’t want anyone else, you wanted to show him what true love really was, and you did, he didn’t know how freeing and beautiful true love actually was

YOOSUNG KIM ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

he couldn’t believe it, you actually shared the same feelings as him, it was like a miracle or a blessing, you couldn’t imagine someone who had more of a golden retriever energy than yoosung at that moment, you could almost see his imaginary tail wagging at incredible speed, he was very excited and eagerly wanted to plan your first date asap, would be the type to plaster the date you asked him everywhere he could, also would brag to the chat immediately, even though everyone but him had seen it coming

ZEN / HYUN RYU ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

two words: reverse uno, it was quite ironic that you two confessed at the same time, but it was exactly on brand for the two of you, you both laughed it over and obviously said yes, it was a no brainer for either of you, you both brought out the brightest sides of each other, you two were bound to be together, soulmates one could say, zen would love to tell anyone who asked about how you two goth together, he thought the both of you confessing at the same time was incredibly adorable, you couldn’t help but agree

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juminsmysticmc · 1 year

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RFA x pregnant Mc on a plane

After such a long time I am indeed back once again :) it's been so long that I am not even sure if I know how it works to post something, LOL. Thank you for @violetrei for this idea. Thank you all for waiting and supporting me. Now, enjoy!

Ps. Of course this is a bit dramatic

Jumin

,,I‘m not sure if it’s a good idea to fly right now,“ Jumin sighed.

The two of you were on your way to Italy.

You wanted the beach, feel the Italian atmosphere, hear the language, and eat the food.

Of course there was nothing Jumin wouldn’t give you., except that your doctor warned you.

You were currently twenty seven weeks pregnant so it was still okay to fly, but you still got a prescription for compression stocking.

It was something that made Jumin feel nervous.

He informed himself about all the risks and he kind of would have liked for you to stay in his penthouse and just watch an Italian documentary.

But you were still on your way to his private jet.

,,Stairs, please walk slowly, my love,“ he begged you.

He was behind you, ready to catch you while you were holding on the railing and a flight attendant held your other hand.

,,Are you still feeling good?“ he asked you, an hour after the flight started.

You nodded, even though you honestly felt sick.

However, you soon had to tell him - making him act in a second.

The flight afterwards was really horrendous but Jumin supported you and helped you the whole time.

And once arrived in Rome, you went straight there, taking a shower and laying down while he made sure to massage you and make you rest.

Zen

,,Mc, are you sure that you don’t want to stay at home?“ he asked you, on his way to the airport - with you.

He had an interview in Japan and the director decided that he had to go, despite his manager being 30 weeks pregnant with his baby girl.

And of course his manager, or better said, you, wanted to go with him.

And yes, you were sure that you wanted to go with him.

,,Nothing will happen!“ you promised.

Well, not that you could decide on that.

,,For god‘s sake! Can someone bring a paramedic?!“ Zen hissed as he held you.

You just fell back on your seat after you wanted to go to the toilet, feeling dizzy.

,,It’s just…I‘m just lightheaded, Hyun. If there’s no doctor here, what can they change?“ you asked him, trying to close your eyes.

,,The seats are too small. I thought we had good seats!“ he groaned, making a mental note to talk to his director.

Lucky for you, feeling lightheaded was something not to get worried over, but despite you going with him, you couldn’t be there while he had his interview so staying at home would have been better…

Yoosung

,,Our last trip as a couple before becoming parents!“ you smiled while he held your hand.

Although, flying with economy class was something different.

He wished he would have had as much money as Jumin, being able to provide you with a private jet instead of asking you to sit next to a stranger in a filled up plane.

That morning, Yoosung helped you put on the compression stockings. It was kind of hard, but he managed and he knew that with that you wouldn’t be at risk for thrombosis.

,,I think I will try to sleep a bit,“ you told him, turning a bit more to him.

Yoosung put his hand protectively over you, pulling you closer to him before he planted a kiss on your head so that you could sleep.

The two of you only had one more hour to go when you suddenly had the feeling that you couldn’t breathe freely.

Yoosung, of course, was totally helpless at that very moment.

Luckily the nice flight attendant told you that this could happen and helped you with breathing exercises so that the remaining time wasn’t that horrendous.

Jaehee

After months of trying, you and Jaehee finally got the chance of becoming pregnant.

You were currently on your way to the airport, Jaehee checking every step you took while you were slowly walking with your big round belly.

The two of you were happy, overjoyed, and excited.

There were so many things that were so new for you.

Jaehee wasn’t the type who liked to be unprepared, but with you she always felt as if she had to learn new things.

For example, she learned that ice cream with ketchup was currently your favorite food, that mood swings were…normal, and no matter how she reacted, it was wrong.

,,I never went overseas,“ you laughed, and laughed even harder when she didn’t answer and instead checked your steps.

Until the both of you weren’t seated, Jaehee seemed like the most concerned person alive.

Worst was to come, however, as soon as the two of you were in the air.

A sudden pain in your abdomen made you sit up, and Jaehee was alarmed as soon as she noticed something unpredicted happened.

,,Help! Please help!“ she gasped and tried to get a hold of someone.

Quickly an announcement was made, asking if there was anyone with medical knowledge and luckily for Jaehee there was -

Why for Jaehee?

Because even though you told her several times that it was alright, she didn’t trust you.

But it was alright.

,,The pains were called Braxton Hicks. Pretty annoying, but also normal to prepare your body for labor. Try to drink more and maybe take a few steps,“ the midwife on the plane said.

That’s what Jaehee trusted.

Saeyoung

,,Everyone looks at me…as if they want to kill me,“ you whispered as you leaned against Saeyoung.

Everyone had to let you go on first since you were pregnant.

,,Luckily she‘s only 32 weeks pregnant, so we won’t have another woman give birth,“ the flight attendant said, a bit too loud in front of Saeran who was walking back to his seat next to you.

,,Say, isn’t it common for women pregnant with Twins go into labor earlier?“ he asked you.

Of course you didn’t want your children to come too early, but he was right, it was common.

,,They hate you because they fear you giving birth here,“ he smiled.

,,I heard some kids get a lifetime free ticket to fly,“ Saeyoung smiled.

Although, perhaps they would make him use it?

,,I‘m not planning to give birth here without my midwife or a doctor!“ you hissed.

You didn’t even know what made you go with the stupid idea of flying in your condition.

But you did and you couldn’t wait to enjoy a vacation.

A few moments later, however, a sudden pain met your abdomen and you knew - this wasn‘t Braxton Hicks.

,,Mc, don’t do this to me without a doc,“ he begged, not knowing if it was a good idea to panic or not.

Before you could scold him though, something made your legs wet and you didn’t pee.

,,I am…I thought it was a heart attack. I’ve never delivered a baby,“ the doctor who was luckily on board gasped.

,,She‘s pregnant with twins,“ Saeyoung confessed, the attendant who earlier said there wouldn’t be any deliveries was pissed beyond imagination.

In fact, Saeyoung needed a document from the doc that he was allowed to fly.

Of course he faked it and of course the document didn’t contain the information about two children.

The flight was a long one for you and for the other guests on the plane.

And to everyone’s surprise, the delivery successfully finished as soon as you landed.

,,Came to enjoy vacation and got goodies instead,“ he laughed as he walked out of the plane driving your wheelchair while you were holding your newborns.

,,Two babies, your children are allowed to fly without paying their whole life and you were warned of not flying with a pregnant wife.

By the way, I heard that diapers here are pretty expensive,“ you informed him.

ᗰᗩᔕTEᖇᒪIᔕT

25.02.2023 // 23:30 MEST

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mys-me-stuff · 3 months

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requests?

hi friends, i'm hella late to the party but i grew up on mystic messenger and fanfic, and recently rediscovered a love for both of these things. with that said, i'm also very unsure of where to start.

will not write: anything that is socially unacceptable, pls don't even make requests like that. that's a wide range of things, i'm aware. just be normal, i beg.

will write: angst, fluff, (bad) smut, anything else within the realm of normal people requests that someone smarter than myself may come up with.

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kusukixcrystal · 9 months

Text

MM Classpecting: Jumin

Zen Classpect

Yoosung Classpect

Jaehee Classpect

Personality/General Info: Likes mature topics, business, workaholic. Has abandonment issues (?) and why he clings to his cat so much. Distrustful and emotionally closed off from women. Quiet, serious, cautious. Still likes to joke and learn slang. Kinda childish with RFA members in a gap-moe way, especially with Zen who he teases a lot (has his own sense of humor). Views situations objectively. Works Jaehee to the bone, but Jumin’s workload is more than hers. Jumin doesn’t care about people’s opinions of him, living his life in the way he thinks is right. Will help RFA members by using his resources with no hesitation. Has an interest in cross-stitching and magic grimoires.

Actually feels too many emotions, but pushes them down to be efficient at work. Is extremely lonely and paranoid because of this, uses work and cat to cope, and views himself as a monster. Trusted V and had feelings for Rika. Cares about family. Trusts Jaehee and Yoosung. Is displeased by Saeyoung's treatment of Elizabeth the 3rd. Considers Zen a friend, even though they bicker.

Role in Narrative: Peacemaker of the RFA with his logical thinking. Uses resources due to his wealth to help members (sending bodyguards to RFA, coordinating Mint Eye mission in secret endings, searching for V in bad endings when he goes missing).

Active or Passive: He is passive. He does things to benefit others. In the CS he gives advice to MC and members, particularly in Zen’s route. Wanted to help him further his career. Sends MC to Zen’s house when he was sad about his injury to take care and cheer him up. Constantly trying to help V regain his eye-sight, offering doctors that could help him.

Classpect - Seer of Light: One who knows Light, or knows through Light for others.

Yes he is Rose Lalonde kin. Spread the word.

How this applies to Jumin: Loves learning new things, even outside of his work in C&R. Loves to provide knowledge to others, and has concrete opinions on things that are not easily changed. He provides advice and resources, but doesn’t get into the action. His view of the world is shattered when he finds out V’s lies, and this shakes him up greatly. His inner world is complicated due to him repressing his emotions. He is lonely and paranoid due to this, fitting with the shortcomings of a Seer. Is open to speak with V and assist him with healing his eyes. Doesn’t force him, just gives him the opportunity to see a doctor for it (passive). Willing to speak to Zen in Zen’s route about their relationship, and offers opportunities (passive), but doesn’t force him to take it. Leads the Mint Eye mission with advice and directs orders from the sidelines. He sees the world in black and white terms when it comes to women. He thinks that all women are only interested in his money, with the sole exception of Rika and then eventually MC. In his route, he has to learn to listen to the opinions of others and to deconstruct his rigid worldview.

This is what the Hiveswap Extended Zodiac has to say about the Light Aspect:

"Those bound to the aspect of Light are the universe's knowledge-seekers. They are, above all, driven to learn and understand. They are great alchemists, able to take multiple sources of information and synthesize them into something useful. They are scholars and researchers, absolutely dedicated to knowledge for knowledge's sake. They are the ultimate students, and although that might conjure up the image of people sitting around peacefully waiting for knowledge to be brought to them, that couldn't be further from the truth. The Light-bound will go after knowledge with a fierce intensity that others may find distasteful. They aren't overly concerned with laws or norms, either. They often take rules as simple suggestions, instead searching for loopholes or work-arounds. At their best, the Light-bound are resourceful and driven. At their worst they can be fussy, pedantic, and insensitive."

I personally think Light symbolizes knowledge, luck and relevancy.

How this applies to Jumin: Dude this man likes sharing knowledge. In DS he even reads MC a storybook (a big reference to Nameless). He reads magic grimoires, likes learning slang, and in general deeply into his interests. Shares this knowledge with Yoosung too, by getting him to work in C&R. Jaehee states in her After Ending that despite how hard it was to work for Jumin, she learned so much about how to manage a business. He imparts this knowledge to benefit others. In Another Story he writes a book series about how he does business! He is directly imparting knowledge on a large scale! Light symbolizes both relevance and luck as well. He is very relevant in the plot, being the childhood friend of V and having a crush on Rika, who are both big players in the main story. He is also relevant in general within the world of MM because he is a CEO-in-line with C&R. ALSO, Jumin seeks to know the truth. He hates being deceived by women for his money. He hates being deceived by V, wanting to find out the truth behind his strange behavior. He actively seeks it out, but not too forcefully.

Looking at his route, Jumin's arc is about listening to others opinions. This is something that Seers are known to struggle with if their opinion differs from others. He also begins to struggle with feelings of paranoia over MC when Elizabeth the 3rd goes missing, essentially trapping her in his penthouse. Jumin begins to think of all the things that could go wrong if MC leaves. This was brought on since Jumin was unhealthily projecting his feelings for Rika onto Elly. His rationality goes out the window here, and can get worse in bad endings. These are pit-falls Seers must avoid, if Jumin doesn't sort through his 'tangled up feelings', this obsessiveness could harm the people around him. This would of course affect the insight he could provide. How can he give others advice when his vision is completely clouded? By understanding others opinions, his world view can expand beyond its black and white thinking, and develop his insights further. You could say he sort of does this in Zen's route when they both reconcile, reaching an understanding between each other.

As a Seer of Light, much like Rose Lalonde, he would provide advice in areas he is familiar with, and wields his relevance as CEO-in-line, his money and resources, to support Saeyoung and MC on their mission to save Saeran in the SEs.

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breaddwoo · 1 year

Text

-Reset Button-

pairing: jumin han x mc

desc: events after jumin's bad ending where mc drumps out of a window ;(

warnings: suicide 💀

a/n: anyone who plays this game is depressed and a masochist

jumin's happiness is gone. it had fallen out the window and splattered 60 stories below.

he didn't even want to look. he was going to puke. vial acidic liquid crawled up his throat like a demon as he fell to his knees.

it was all v's fault. he distracted jumin. no. you know why this happened. it's all because she couldn't understand the tangled threads inside him. it's because i didn't know how to love her properly. it's all v's fault. it's my fault. if only she understood him. if only i'd let her go.

jumin wiped brown fluid that dripped down his chin; the stain forever imprinted on his thousand-dollar suit. he would never get it cleaned.

v was yelling and people were screaming outside, but jumin understood none of it. the sounds phased together, his eyesight went fuzzy. tears? have i ever cried?

as a child, maybe, but this was different. those tears were shed for broken toys; these were for a vanquished love.

he began to stand, wobbling. v tried to help him up but jumin slapped his hands away, as if they burned him. he couldn't even look at v, or her, or anyone.

as he stumbled his way to the nearest elevator, he began to cry. first it was a few silent tears, then salty streams slid down his cheeks until he was sobbing.

heavy, throat filled sobs that made him choke on the saliva bubbling in his mouth. the elevator music felt patronizing. he sobbed harder.

when the elevator made it to the lobby, he could already see the crowd outside. how dare they make her a spectacle?

he began running for the automatic doors. they opened far before he made it close, as if a small gesture of pity for what he was about to see.

his vision was blurry and he saw red. red on the sidewalk, red on the plants outside. red on her clothes.

jumin crudely shoved people aside. he could already hear the wailing sirens of the vehicle that would pronounce her dead.

his first thought upon sight of her was: she's beautiful.

he could not see her face, and he did not want to. jumin knew it wouldn't be the face he fell in love with. it probably wouldn't be there at all.

he felt the threads that she had unraveled begin to fester and tangle once more; only this time they were so entwined that he felt they would snap.

the memories of what happened next were hazy. crying, sobbing, weeping, wailing. petting skin that was dangerously cold. threatening people with a stretcher.

v watched jumin cry, his expression unreadable as jumin could not make it out through his tears.

once the people had stolen her away and jumin was sat back in his penthouse, the world felt deadly quiet. everything he looked at was grey. grey bed, grey closet, grey hands. these grey hands held hers only a day before, when her skin was warm.

if only there was a reset button.

#jumin han #mystic messenger #mysmes #jumin han imagine #jumin han bad ending #cheritz #jihyun kim #v mystic messenger #jumin mysme #jumin mystic messenger #jumin x mc #mystic messenger angst

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asterjennifer · 2 years

Text

@qruinee on Instagram

Memories

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: Jumin & V (x Reader)

Category: Fluff (light angst)

Warnings: X

Word count: 1600

Author's Note: Happy Birthday Jumin!! Hope you celebrate well 🥂🥳

Summary: After a day spend with only the two of you; neither of you expected the surprise guest knocking at your door.

But it's a good surprise, to say at least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For a long moment silence dominated the air in his villa; until he sighed out the obvious tension that's standing in front of his door. “It's been two years and four months ago since we last stood here together.”

Jumin's tone would've been considered deadpan if it weren't for the fact his old best friend was the one knocking at the door. V didn't need to investigate to understand where the slight shift in his voice came from. It only seemed logical and above all, fair in his minty eyes. He scratched his neck after finding the face of yours peeking behind Jumin's back in curiosity.

“I'm aware of that..” The photographer tried to clear his throat, but unfortunately failed due to pressure from outside. “I'm sorry for that. However I um, I figured..”

V raised the package behind his back, catching both the your and the CEO's attention. “To say Happy Birthday in person is only justified.” You gasped softly considering you hadn't expected this kind of outcome fort these two childhood friends.

Jumin eyed the package, his shoulders slacking down just an inch. “I see.” You figured he's thinking about the situation, what it could turn out to become when considering every possible path. Typical Jumin, it sent a smile to your lips.

“Oh, rude of me to space out right about now. Come in, V.” He made space for his old friend and you thanked the heavens your lover didn't reject the offer the photographer put in. “Thank you.”

“Also, hello (N). It's nice to see you again.” V's voice lingered softly in your ears and you couldn't help but feel yourself warm up despite the doubts he'd caused inside the RFA.

Therefore, you reached out your hand. “Pleasure is mine, V. Welcome and thank you for showing up today.” A bit shocked by your polite greeting; V accepted your hand regardless. His handshake just as soulful as his personality, you registered somewhere in the back of your head.

The man wearing minty hair turned back to his old friend; a shy expression covering his face right away. “I'm not disturbing you both, right? I can come later if it is inconvenient.” However, Jumin only passed him while waving his hand.

“Not at all, follow me.” You smiled apologetic at V, following your fiance and soon all three of you entered his bedroom which's also technically the living room if thinking about it. Jumin let you both sit down across from each other before pulling the phone out of his pocket.

The call went fast; ordering their favorite wines and your preferred drink at the kitchen on the second floor. V brushed one hand over the box, the sudden purring beside him completely unexpected. It startled him, which you couldn't point out, otherwise you'd started giggling. Elizabeth the 3rd's big, blue doe-eyes stared up in something similar to amazement.

“Actually, I'm quite shocked you came here in person. I'm honest; I didn't have any expectations regarding your presence.” It surely felt harsh in your chest; not to mention V's. Yet it's no wrong wording because that was the naked truth Jumin liked to speak his thoughts with.

V closed his eyes in defeat, lifting his head as Elizabeth demanded pats by the loud meow coming from her throat. She then laid down beside the photographer on the couch, curled up in a white fluff ball.

“I know that. And I'm sorry for being gone so much.. But I would've never forgotten your birthday, Jumin.” The confidence wavered as the CEO sat down next to you, right in front of his friend. They exchanged a look you couldn't categorize before your fiance sighed once again.

The knock on the door interrupted the moment; wine and your drink being delivered by a well-groomed man doing his job perfectly. You and V thanked him, whereupon Jumin joined in and earend an almost bewildered expression of his staff member. You could tell by the glitter in his otherwise dark eyes that the gesture amused him some more than suspected.

V took the glass carefully, scanning the room for a second. “It's just like I remember. Tidy and minimalistic.. And that for a man like you, it's funny to say at least.” He huffed, making you snicker in response.

Jumin turned his wine when crossing his legs. The arm on the armrest of the sofa close to hug you instead. “I don't need much, would be a waste of money and space for Elizabeth to use.”

“Right, she gets a lot of free space because of that, you really think of everything.” V answered and thankfully the air loosened up some more.

While Jumin took his first sip, V put down the glas to get the package between his hands. “Also, this is my gift for you this year. I hope you like it.” Your smile widened; as if you're the one receiving it.

Jumin hummed deep, unconsciously sending a shiver down your spine by the noise. “I have everything I want or can think of; a gift really wasn't necessary.” V wiggled the box slightly from left to right by that. “When is it ever necessary.. It's the gesture that counts. So, as every year, I ask you to accept it either way.”

Knowing there's no winning, Jumin placed the wine down to take the covered package into his own hands. “If you insist, I will not refuse my friend's wish.” You hid the grin behind the back of your hand, which Jumin noticed.

To your luck he didn't comment it and dedicated his movements to unwrap the paper in torturing pace, he even folded it and that's when you knew you're getting married to a little psychopath. But that's only a passing thought given your anticipation grew with the second; wondering what exactly V could've bought for his old friend that he didn't own yet.

Nothing particular came to your mind, not even the cat on the other couch made a sound that could stir your imagination. No time registering, Jumin took away the last piece of wrapping paper to reveal a white box without writing on it. You and him both looked up to V at the same second.

Who, a bit embarrassed to have all eyes on him out of the blue, nodded quickly to confirm for Jumin to open the box. After he took off the lid, the shape intake of air on your part forced out unintentional. Yet the view of the gift blessed your eyes right away. It's a painted photo book.

“Whoa..! That is so pretty!” The words left you breathless. It seemed to be a normal folder at first, the brush strokes with all the complementary colors spoke a different language.

Jumin blinked, face as straight as ever when opening up the first page. It's pictures of only him and V; presumably before kindergarten, or in the middle of it by the latest. Your eyes began to sparkle by the photos you haven't yet had the privilege to find. After a few seconds, Jumin turned the page again.

It's like a film in some distant sense. The upcoming page showed the two friends growing up together in the most different scenarios. Captured while singing at the chores, eating a meal at the restaurant, playing outside and so many moments you couldn't memorize in the short amount of time.

Coming to the end, the photos changed in their context. The RFA members in their various moments, always with Jumin or at least him being in the photo. The highlight was your proposal that Yoosung had managed to take a photo of in his usual clumsily manner.

You exhaled amazed. “My Goodness..” You shook your head, seeking V and his red shaded face. “This is the most beautiful gift I've ever seen!” Your enthusiasm helped him relax in his position.

Jumin put the album up, still silent as he turned it into every possible direction and seemingly checking out everything that there was. V fumbled with his fingers; clearing his throat. “If you don't like it.. I can take it with home again and get you something less... emotional.”

Your mouth formed a surprised 'o' by that word, however there wasn't any lie. Again. Jumin closed his eyes while some black strands of hair fell over his forehead. For a brief second your heart slipped into your pants; fearing this photo album hit a nerve somewhere deep down inside.

“Not needed. It's amazing, V.” The wamrth of it had you let out the breath you didn't know you'd been holding. V also smiled, like he expected that reaction nonetheless.

Jumin standing up got you both to question; but as he held out his hand, V apparently knew exactly what the other wished for. You then witnessed them both stand up for nothing else but a good old, classical hug. Jumin pulled V and they both put a hand on the other's back.

V let his rest on the shoulder of the CEO for some more time after pulling away. “Thank you for being my friend, Jumin. Happy birthday.”

The black-haired man cracked a little smile. “It's not the easiest time, but I couldn't deny that right now.. I would consider myself happy. So thank you for showing up today, V.” He admitted openly, making V's eyes glitter from your angle.

“Hey, it's nothing. Thank you for bearing with me all this time. You're an amazing friend and a great man.. I don't deserve you, but I'm still just grateful to have you at my side.”

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mystic-headcanons · 8 months

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hi! saeran helping mc do her hair/makeup? or maybe them on halloween?

decided to do both and have him help her w her halloween costume ^^

it was halloween day, the rest of the rfa would be arriving soon, and you weren’t anywhere near being ready. half of your makeup was done, your outfit wasn’t on yet, and you couldn’t seem to get the wig to lay flat on your head. saeran was next to you doing his own makeup, but when he noticed you struggling with your wig for the third time, he set down his eyeliner and regarded you with laughter in his voice. “want any help with that?” he offered, amused. with a small, slightly frustrated huff, you nodded. convincing saeran to do a couple’s costume wasn’t as easy as you thought it’d be, but he eventually relented on the condition that he got to choose the costume. with nightmare before christmas as his favorite movie, it came as no surprise that he suggested sally and jack. (next time, you thought, you were forcing him to take the character with more makeup. two hours in the bathroom, and all you’d succeeded in was getting the face paint on.) “please.” you ignored the way he chuckled, instead sitting down on a stool you had dragged in earlier. he went behind you and started to braid your hair; the feeling of his fingers running through the long strands had you humming appreciatively, slightly tilting your head back.

he worked in silence for a while, until you broke it when you opened your eyes and caught him staring at you through the mirror. “what?” you asked, watching as he set the first braid down and moved onto the next one. “you just. look very cute when you’re relaxed like that.” saeran said, smiling at you. and, well, you had no choice but to blush like that. how long had you two been together? and still, every compliment made your cheeks light up. “where’d you learn to braid?” you asked a few minutes later as the question popped into your mind. saeran paused for a moment, hesitating before slowly talking again. “when i was…in mint eye,” he began, “the sav— rika. would have me brush her hair for her. i would style it at times too, but she always yelled if i pulled even a little bit, so i started doing it less and less.” there was always a layer of shame in his voice when he spoke of mint eye, of things he learned or things he did. every time, it broke your heart. “you’re very good at this. i don’t think you’ve pulled even once.”

once saeran was done braiding your hair, putting the actual wig on was quite fast. he pinned the braids up, put the wig cap on over them, and slipped the wig onto your head. "i'm pretty sure this would've taken me hours to do on my own." you mused, staring in the mirror at the bright red wig you had borrowed from saeyoung. (you were going to buy one, but saeyoung has...so many wigs.) "thank you." you smiled at saeran and leaned over to press a quick kiss to his cheek. "you'll have to help me with my hair more often. it was very relaxing."

you finished the rest of your makeup in record time, but when you got to the eyeliner you turned to saeran, who had finished with his costume, with a pleading look and an eyeliner pen in your hand. "please? you're really good at eyeliner." you asked, and beamed when he took the eyeliner from you and leaned in close. "two months ago you and saeyoung called me dollar store gerard way, but sure. i'm good at eyeliner." "and i stand by that." you said, squeezing your eyes shut and giggling when he lightly flicked your forehead. "i'm going to make this very uneven." he threatened, but there was warmth in his voice and you knew it was an empty threat.

moments after your eyeliner was finished, you heard raised voices. when the rfa members arrived, you didn't know, but you could hear jumin, who was threatening legal action, and zen, who was yelling at saeyoung to "take the damn costume off before my face swells up." you and saeran shared a look before rushing out of the bathroom and bumping into saeyoung, who was running past you in a full. cat. costume. it wasn't just ears and tail and paws, no, but a genuine cat suit that somehow looked exactly like jumin's cat. behind him, jumin was red in the face with anger and jaehee looked like she needed several drinks before she could start processing the situation. zen was already sneezing in rapid succession and as you stepped out to greet them- and hopefully alleviate the situation- you couldn't help but think that it was going to be a very. very. long night.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #jumin han #saeyoung choi #jaehee kang #saeran choi #yoosung kim #jihyun kim #saeran choi x mc #saeran choi x reader

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rfaromance · 2 years

Text

"He's peeking! He's totally peeking!"

Jumin chuckled softly at the incredulous exclamation that escaped Cho Hee's lips. She immediately shoved her hands behind her back, hiding what she was holding from plain view. "V does that," he informed her simply. "Ever since he was a child. He hated to be surprised and would cheat to ensure nobody could have the upper hand over him. One time in high school he actually paid off a classmate to tell him the time and date of a surprise party."

A deep blush spread across Jihyun's face, the crimson of his cheeks visible between his fingers that were supposed to be covering his eyes. Sure enough, a small gap was visible right in front of his eyes, revealing that he had been attempting to see even after being duly instructed not to spoil the surprise. "I didn't pay her off," he protested. "You'll give Cho Hee the wrong idea. I simply... traded for some information."

"That's the same thing," Cho Hee said flatly.

"No, that makes it a business transaction. Like a barter."

"No, it's not!"

As Jihyun watched Cho Hee and Jumin debate the tenants of bribery versus corporate diplomacy, he couldn't help but feel a weight in his heart. When he'd left on his journey to help and heal Saeran, he had entrusted Cho Hee to Jumin until he returned. Without asking for any details, Jumin had agreed. He was always like that. Jumin respected his privacy even if he didn't agree with Jihyun's decisions, and he was the most loyal man that Jihyun had ever met. His friends were few, but he would stand by them until the bitter end.

He just hadn't expected the two of them to grow so close during that time. Initially, Jihyun was worried that Cho Hee might overwhelm Jumin. The ginger-haired woman was exceptionally charismatic and warm to everyone she met, but she had seemingly boundless energy and didn't always make the most sensible decisions. (She insisted that getting taken in a mysterious van to a cult in the mountains was a "one time occurrence" and a "rare lapse in judgment", but Jihyun had his doubts.)

But somehow, they'd become enamored with each other. He didn't know much of the details of how they'd bonded, but whenever he thought about his own absence during that time...

Two years was far more time than he had realized.

"I think I've had enough surprises for one lifetime," Jihyun spoke up, smiling sheepishly. "Besides, knowing you, you probably wrapped up whatever gift you brought, right Cho Hee?"

Now she was the one whose face was bursting into color. "It's the principle!" she huffed. With a resigned sigh, she added, "You're right, though. I did put it in a box." Shaking her head, she pulled the box in question out from behind her once again, and she placed it in front of Jihyun. "I can't argue with the birthday boy."

"Is that how that works?" Jumin piped up, leaning forward to get a look at the wrapping paper, which had dinosaurs on it.

"Oh, of course! You can't make people sad on their birthday. That's a huge social taboo."

Jihyun began to unwrap the present carefully, meticulously untying the blue ribbon that Cho Hee had used. Once he finally peeled back enough paper to open the box itself, he hesitated. Something felt weird about celebrating his birthday. When was the last time he'd been surrounded by loved ones on this day?

When he opened the box and pulled out the gift inside, Jihyun almost dropped it in his shock. He could feel his fingers trembling as he stared in awe at the cover of a scrapbook, adorned in tiny gems and lace embroidery, surrounding a picture of him, Jumin, and Cho Hee.

"Ta-dah!" Cho Hee clapped excitedly. "It's a photo album! We know you're the photographer here, but..." She giggled. "But there's something charming about the casual, candid photos taken in the spur of the moment, right? We didn't use fancy set ups or the nicest cameras. We just wanted to capture the pure love and joy we felt when we spend time with you." She came over to stand behind him and peer over his shoulder. "So... sorry in advance for the quality of some of these."

Jihyun began to flip through the pages carefully. A selfie of him and Cho Hee at one of Zen's musicals, with the ticket stub next to it. A photo of him and Jumin debating which wine to buy, with the caption "less whining, more wining!" A blurry photo of Cho Hee holding Elizabeth up to Jihyun, as the cat gave her old friend a couple of kisses to welcome him back.

Many of them were blurry. Several had questionable lighting. One or two had half a finger smudged into the shot.

But the love inside of them was more beautiful than the images themselves could hope to be.

"It's okay to not be perfect, you know?" Cho Hee murmured as Jihyun reached the last page. "That goes for both of you." She cast a quick glance at Jumin, who pointed a finger at his chest and mouthed "Me too?"

Jumin then cleared his throat and chimed in. "One thing I've learned from Cho Hee, and that I wish to impart to you, is that it's a better use of time to find unexpectedly perfect moments, than trying to create prepared perfect moments. Because sometimes, the mundane can be more rewarding than the most elaborate plan."

Jihyun was silent for another moment, pondering these words, pondering these pictures, pondering these memories. When was the last time he'd felt so loved?

"I can't imagine a moment more picture-perfect than this one."

#jihyun kim #mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #HAPPY BIRTHDAY V #drabble #jumin han #Cmc #Cho Hee #Vumin #Jumin x Jihyun x MC

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xelasrecords · 9 months

Text

All That Is Lost

Han Jumin x MC

Jumin is dying from cancer and there is nothing else you can do but wait. Featuring a minor appearance from Jihyun.

CW: Anticipatory grief

Words: 5.5k

Masterlist Read on AO3

When she was young, she used to think grief was reserved for death. And in the period of mourning, joy would not exist. Sorrow would engulf her whole and she would waste away alone in eternal darkness and nothing else would matter. However, time had revealed to her that nothing was ever as simple.

She was grieving for her living husband. Living, but dying. Jumin was behind the hospital door that she teetered in front of. It would lead her to a private patient room surrounded by beige walls and ivory curtains, and she would see Jumin putting on his best smile even as the lung cancer drained his strength. More often now, his best was a single tight smile that took him a lot of effort to manage.

She was always gripped by fear when she came here, wondering how much Jumin's health had deteriorated in the brief absence Jihyun switched with her to stay over. They had tried everything they could to treat him, but there was never any good news.

Time was not on their side.

Clutching her overnight bag, she straightened her posture and pushed the door open—and found that Jumin had been waiting for her. He was propped up on the bed and outstretched his hand when she crossed the threshold, reaching for her as he always did. In the warm hospital glow, she caught the weak smile on his pallid face and picked up her pace to clasp his free hand, one without an IV line attached. His slender fingers were always stiff and cold now, but a tiny relief fluttered in her chest when they finally touched.

She set her bag down beside the couch and kissed his cheek, careful not to knock the nasal cannula strung beneath his nose askew. "Jihyun isn't here? I thought he was with you when I called."

Jumin lifted his brows, but the humour in his sharp grey eyes betrayed his serious expression. "I see you care more about another man when I am right here."

"Only because you're here and he's not," she said lovingly. Though there were deep crevices around his eyes and his sunken cheeks had left a sharp edge to his jaw and cheekbones, he was still handsome to her, his thinning black hair falling just past his ears.

"As it should be," Jumin declared. There was a permanent rasp in his voice that appeared as his illness worsened. "He would have passed out from starvation if I didn't send him away. I never expected him to be so adamant about staying by my side. I was always the one who worried about him, not the other way around."

"He is stubborn," she reminded. She slid her fingers down to the inside of his wrist to feel his pulse. It confirmed what she sometimes feared her sight was fooling her—that he was already gone. "He's so much like you in that regard."

"Perhaps I should have let him stay. Having a roommate would not be so bad. We could even recreate the sleepovers we had as children." There was a certain melancholy in Jumin's eyes, one that often appeared when he talked about his friendship with Jihyun. "I don't know why we ever stopped. We used to stay over at each other's houses all the time."

"You grew up," she said, and squeezed his hand. It felt more brittle than she remembered. "But that change isn't permanent. You've been recreating it these days. Look at how he sleeps here when I can't. Thanks to me, of course," she added. "I graciously spared my precious time with you for him. You're welcome."

Jumin smiled and stared at her with deep, tender attention as if he wished to preserve and immortalise this exact moment before he left. She was familiar with that look. She watched him the same way when he was not looking. She knew all memories faded eventually, but perhaps she could keep some for herself if she tried hard enough. "What a noble sacrifice," he said. "I shall make sure he shows gratitude for your kindness."

She smiled back, trying to keep exhaustion from showing. "It's nothing. I just want to make you happy."

But nothing slipped past Jumin. He grazed her cheek with his knuckles and frowned. "Did you not sleep well?" he asked, unable to keep distraught from his voice. He studied her with the same intensity that never dimmed despite the illness. All these years, those eyes like dark storms that had been nothing but loving to her, were still loving her now. How safe and grounded she always felt looking into them.

"You think I look rubbish," she joked. It twisted her heart that Jumin still put her well-being before his.

"I think you look like someone who did not have a good night's sleep," he stated, and then it dawned on him. "You had been crying."

She nodded. It was not a question and she would not lie. After the first diagnosis, she had anticipated an intense, unstoppable streak of wallowing, but her reality was quite different. In the first few days when she was caught up in the whirlwind of trips to the emergency room and doctor appointments and looking after mundane matters, her emotions had taken a back seat. Only after Jihyun swept in to help that she could find the space to cry.

Even the tears came on intermittently. She was fine on some days, perfectly capable of executing her daily routine with a strength that stunned her. But in the moments she least expected, she would break down and find herself bargaining for more months, weeks, days with Jumin, begging on her knees while knowing there was no one out there who could, that there was no magical cure. She had put Jumin's spell book away and learned to tuck herself into a bed that was too empty for one.

Last night, she noticed that their housekeeper Sunja had placed one of Jumin's ties at a ten-degree angle in the drawer. She straightened it because surely it would irritate him and then it hit her that there was no point, he would never come home and open this drawer again, she would never get another chance to tie his tie before work and soon she would have to refer to this house as hers instead of theirs. He would go. He would go first. She slid down the glass cupboard and crumpled into herself, unable to stop the chest-heaving sobs breaking out of her.

In the morning, Sunja found her asleep on the cold granite floor clutching the blue-striped tie. It was Jumin's favourite tie from her for his first birthday that they celebrated together. It matched his eyes, she had told him. He loved to recount this story to anyone who would listen.

Sunja then guided her to the dining room while she followed in a dazed state. She brewed her a cup of tea and cooked her a light meal, which promptly brought forth another wave of tears. It was not Sunja's job to cook for her, she knew. Altruistic kindness from people who did not want anything from her was rare, yet here it was, served to her when she had not done anything to deserve it.

But she was not in the mood to tell Jumin the long tale of her breakdown, so she sat on the couch beside his bed and wiggled her eyebrows. "My sleeping problem could be solved if someone wants to sleep with me. Right now. I might even cry from ecstasy instead."

Jumin's stare lingered on her. She was aware he could see through her, but he only let out a defeated sigh. "Believe me, I want to," he played along. "I would bed you properly if I could, but my doctor has barred me from doing rigorous activities."

"Well, I can only imagine the horror if your heart stopped mid-act," she said. "Like, what would your tombstone say? 'He came so hard he literally saw heaven'?"

Jumin laughed. She took in his quirked brows, the impish glint in his eyes, and the rasp in his laughter and committed them to memory. "He might not find heaven to his liking and decide to come back down," he said.

"The press would have a field day during your burial. Your reputation would be ruined. Legacy, over."

"It's fortunate—"

But Jumin doubled over with violent coughs that rattled his frail frame before he could finish his sentence. She jumped on her feet and rubbed his back repeatedly, feeling powerless to do anything else. His shoulder blades were sharp through the thin hospital gown, and his arms and calves had barely any muscle left, skin clinging to limbs desperately. She thought she had more time. His change had seemed slow and gradual, but now she saw how much the illness had taken away from him.

Jumin brought his hand away from his mouth, revealing an alarming amount of blood. He tensed and she willed herself to swallow her panic. Quickly, she snatched a handful of tissues from the nightstand and wiped his trembling hand. Though Jumin was silent, she could feel his helplessness rolling off him as he watched her clean his blood-stained mouth. It was not the first time he had coughed up blood, but it had never been this much.

Jumin attempted a weak smile. "It's fortunate I won't be here to see my downfall."

"No, not fortunate." She closed her eyes and steadied her breath. "Because your downfall would be mine."

"My love." His fingers encircled her wrist, but his hold was so fragile. "I am sorry to have brought so much pain upon you. I wish I could ease it somehow."

She tossed the tissues aside and fixed her gaze on him. "And what of yours?" she demanded. "You just coughed blood, Jumin."

"My suffering will not last long, but yours will. It is my most desperate hope that it won't last forever." He shook his head when she started to refute. "You're shouldering this unfair burden of taking care of me while I am simply lying here, useless to be of any help. I feel myself tearing apart from the inside knowing that I am the cause of your tears."

"Let me cry for you. It's the evidence of my love, nothing unfair or burdensome in that."

"Do you remember my vow at our wedding? I promised to be there with you every step of the way, to never leave you when you are struggling." His face twisted in agony that sent a sharp pang into her heart. "But it appears that I have become your problem."

"I'd rather you be my problem than cease to be my anything," she said fiercely. "But as it happens, you're not. I worry because I care. I stay here because sleeping on this couch and waking up with a stiff back is better than losing sleep alone in our bedroom. That's our home, Jumin. You should be there with me to make it feel like one, and if you can't, then I'll go wherever you are. Don't be sorry that I love you. I chose you too, way back then, and I still choose you now."

The look Jumin gave her was haunted and unseeing. She had the sensation that he was peering into the years that stretched out behind them. "I never thought there would be a day where I'm completely reliant on you without the ability to give you anything in return. I never thought it would be so soon."

"You can do nothing and I will still love you." She sat on the bed and tucked a thin strand of hair behind his ear. "Tell me you wouldn't do the same for me."

"I can't." Jumin groaned in despair. "God, I can't. Even as my life is coming to a close, you still show me how wonderful you are." He buried his face into the dip between her neck and collarbone and held her tightly, as tight as his weakening body could muster. She put her arms carefully around him and laid her chin on the side of his head. This was her love, her love that she was losing. He no longer smelled like the expensive cedar cologne he sprayed on every morning before work. This Jumin was covered with a stinging antiseptic scent and it was terrifying. He was changing at a rate that she could not keep up. "How can I ever leave you?" he whispered, his voice caught.

Jumin sounded so broken it almost broke her. "I don't want you to leave either," she murmured. "I wish I could follow you instead of being here alone."

Jumin withdrew and held her at arm's length. "Don't you dare entertain that thought. You have a life here." His face grew stricken when she was silent. "You will not throw it away for me. I will not ever forgive you if you do."

She made a choking sound. "My life has no meaning without you, Jumin." She knew she was speaking out of hysterical delusion, that her real life was more than a single love, but he was the love she lived with, that lived in her. She knew the pattern of his breathing like her own, knew what cunning retorts would come out of him before he could speak them. How would she live without him? What would there be to live for once the person who put sense into her life was gone? "You've changed my life with your presence alone," she said. "I've always looked to you for peace and comfort. My highest happiness is amplified because you're here to share my joy, and my deepest sadness is pacified because you sit with me through it all. I hear your voice every day. I see your face every day. How do you expect me to lose all that? I don't want to learn to be alone, not yet."

Jumin held her face in the palm of his hand. "You won't be alone. Jihyun is still here. He will accompany you—"

"But he's not you!" she shouted. "Every day I'm grateful that he's here and I know how much he means to you, but he is not you. I love him in an entirely different way from how I love you. He's my friend, but you're my husband. You're irreplaceable, you hear me?"

To her surprise, there were tears in Jumin's eyes. "But you will survive. I know you. You have a tenacious soul that persists in the face of adversity, and you will have a good friend to lean on. I can think of no one better suited for emotional support than Jihyun. You will not be alone. That fact itself placates my heart more than anything."

She rested her forehead against his. His skin was so cold. "You always say you'll give me anything I ask from you. I have one now: stay a little longer. Your birthday is only a few months away. Stay until then." Her voice cracked. "Please."

Jumin looked at her with great sadness. "That is the one thing I cannot control."

At that, her emotions broke through. She wept and wept and wept and it was Jumin's turn to reach for the tissue and dabbed it across her face. She had not wanted to cry in front of him for the guilt it would induce in him. It felt cruel to seek comfort from him when he was in the most pain, but it was Jumin she thought of telling whenever she was hurt. It was Jumin she went to for everything good and bad. Years of habit could not be unravelled in an instance, but beyond that was the familiarity and trust that she could find in nobody else. He knew her so well and so intuitively that she knew that when he left, he would carve out something crucial of herself and take her with him.

Jumin laid her head on his chest and pulled her into the bed with him. In the haze of her crying, she was aware that she should not put her entire weight on him, that he already had enough difficulty breathing as he was, and she cried harder. She tightened her arm around his waist, relishing in the realness of him, dreading the day she could no longer feel the warmth of his embrace. But when she felt his tears falling on the top of her head, she knew that whatever illness that would separate them would not truly sever their bond. Together they mourned for the loss of their planned future, for the life Jumin would never have, for the loneliness that would come for her in the days without him.

"Do you know what my worst fear is?" Jumin asked hoarsely.

She lifted her head and wiped the tears from his face. She imagined her eyes were as red as his. "That I'm only pretending to be sad when I actually can't wait to inherit your wealth after you go?"

A small smile played on his lips. "Now don't you instil more fears in me." Jumin poked her nose without any real offence. If he noticed that she had been avoiding the word "die", he didn't let on. "I fear losing my possessions and everything I deem important. I know nothing is absolute in this world, but I harbour an irrational hope that I could protect them with the power I have accumulated." He gazed at her with adoration so deep that her heart could have cracked in half. "You are on top of that list."

She caressed his face, and he leaned into her touch. "You're not losing me now."

"I know, and I'm grateful for it. I can see with clarity that my worst fear will not come true, for you have never left me." Jumin took her hand and splayed it against his heart. She could barely feel it beating beneath her palm, but it was there. It had not stopped beating. That was enough. "You stand by me through my endless treatments. You don't recoil from me after witnessing me in my worst state. I know you love me. You don't have to say it to make it true. But..." He sounded constricted as he tried to get the words out. "I'm sorry you are going to lose me."

"You're still thinking about me. You still worry how I will fare without you." She bit back fresh tears that threatened to fall, hearing Jumin's concern beneath his words. She could not yet bring herself to imagine a life without him, preferring to hold on to the slightest hope that he might get better no matter how impossible, but it hurt her more to see him fearing for her. "I can't promise I'd cope well, but I'm never really going to lose you," she said. "I keep you close in my heart. You are my heart. You will always be alive in me."

A sad chuckle escaped from Jumin. "I laugh the most with you, did you know that?"

She blinked. "I know I'm moderately funny, but I don't see the connection with what I just said."

"You make me happy. You have made me so happy this whole time, love," said Jumin softly. "I can see myself through your eyes. I see how much I am loved. Thank you for loving me."

The memories from the past pierced through her like an arrow. She remembered the first time she came to Jumin's penthouse and he was quiet for a beat too long before saying, Sorry, I just stared into your eyes. Even then he had seen the truth she held for him. She remembered the day she was seasick on Jumin's private yacht so he sat with her in the cabin for the rest of the journey, holding her while she curled in his arms instead of enjoying the breeze. She remembered the park under the rain where they were salvaging their ruined picnic and a kid came over and told her she was very pretty and Jumin had flashed him a proud smile and praised him for being an excellent judge of beauty while suggesting him to find his own match in the same breath. Jumin had been very pleased for the rest of the day. He was the only person she wanted and would ever want. If she could not have him forever, then she would have no one at all.

"You deserve it, my darling. Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done." She pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. They might be chapped, but they were more familiar to her than her own.

Jumin smiled against her mouth. His eyelids were fluttering close, but his fingers were tracing over her brows, her cheekbones, her ears as if he was trying to remember her. He mumbled a quiet I love you and she said it back, silently begging this would not be the last time they proclaimed it to each other. She was beginning to learn how resilient a heart was. How it could break and break yet never really shatter. How hers had been made invincible by the love she had for him and the love he returned tenfold.

Before she looked up, she already knew that Jumin had fallen asleep. His breathing was slowing to a steady but harsh, heavy rhythm. It frightened her. What should be effortless was painful to him, yet he never complained. She untangled herself from his arms, covered him with his blanket, walked towards the door, and paused. She turned around and gave him one last glance, in case it was the last time she could see him. It was a habit she had adopted since Jumin was admitted to the hospital.

Jumin's quiet presence used to have a strong, charismatic quality that pulled everyone's attention to him. Now her husband was a ghost of someone he used to be, a copy made by a printer running out of ink. The essence of what made him Jumin had not disappeared, but his defining marks had blurred. His calming confidence and childlike excitement felt out of reach. She could see them in her periphery, but she could not quite reconcile those traits and shape Jumin into the person he was, back when the fear of losing him was merely conceptual.

She also knew she would see Jihyun sitting outside the room because that was what he did. What they all did. They gave each other time with one another because there was never enough time.

Jihyun turned to her as she slid into the seat next to him and offered her a smile, but she did not miss the dark crescents under his dulled green eyes. Even his teal hair seemed unattended.

"Jumin's taking a nap," she informed.

Jihyun nodded and laced his fingers together on his lap. "He sleeps a lot now."

"That's good, right?" she said. "He should get as much rest as he can."

Jihyun stayed quiet and looked down at his hands.

She averted her gaze. There was not much time left. She was not so deep in denial as not to see it. "I know the signs of someone going away. I know."

She felt they were hurtling down the dark unknown faster than they were ready for. No matter how hard they resisted, they could not win. There were times when Jumin would seem better and a tiny hope flared between her and Jihyun, that perhaps they might not lose him after all. A chance of recovery was all they needed, but it never lasted long. By next week he would be worse than they ever imagined, and they would sit in fear and silence after discussing possible solutions with the doctors and among themselves and hitting another dead end. What else was there to do except to hope that he would not go so soon?

"I admire your strength and faith in his health," Jihyun finally said. "I feel as if we have switched roles. I used to do whatever I could to save the people I care about, but now that we have tried everything and will still lose him..." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I feel lost. I'd like to be more like you if I could."

She put her arms around herself. She was not sure if it was the cold hospital air or more likely, how much she needed to feel less alone in her own acute helplessness. "It's cowardice. I can't bear to accept the reality," she said. "If I stay hopeful, I don't have to move on to the next phase. I don't have to picture a life without him. I feel like vomiting every time I receive an update from the doctors. We've never got any good news since the first diagnosis."

Jihyun nodded slowly with the lethargy that always seemed to hang above him. What enthusiasm he used to have had faded. With a renewed cold dread she realised that in denying herself the acceptance of losing Jumin, she had failed to see that she was losing her friend as well.

"I regret not being more present for him," Jihyun said. "I travelled the world to search for my reasons to live, but it was right here all along. I lost count of the times Jumin had asked me to catch up with him over wine and I foolishly postponed them. I thought there would be a next time. He's the steady fixture in my ever-changing life, so I thought…" He shook his head. "I wasted so much time, and what was it all for?"

"You live for a lot of things," she said, making her voice as gentle as she could. "Your friendship is only one part of it. Jumin is glad that you found yourself through those travels. You know him. He doesn't think physically being there for him is the most important thing. You care about him even when you're not here, and now you've been trying to stay by his side every day. He notices that. There is nothing but gratitude and admiration whenever he speaks of you."

"Jumin is such a good person." Jihyun looked over at her, ocean-green eyes glazed with tears. "I cannot believe someone like him exists, and I'm even more amazed he chose me to be his best friend all those years ago."

"He's always had faith in you a great deal." She smiled. "That's one of the best things about him. He believes in the good of the people he loves."

"He believes in me when I cannot believe in myself. When I forget how to," he said in wonderment. "He has always done it for me and I didn't even know it."

When she thought about Jumin and Jihyun, she saw two men whose lives were so deeply entangled since they were boys that to be separated meant losing half a story that defined them as who they were. There was no part of their history that did not include one another in some way. When Jumin recounted their childhood stories and brought Jihyun up in conversations, he always spoke with a fondness that she had never heard for anyone else except her. Jihyun, she noticed, spoke with the same gentleness.

They were fortunate in a way that most people were not. She had seen one's whole face light up when the other visited, had noticed how Jumin sometimes would have something on his mind and relaxed after he talked to Jihyun. They never had enough time together. She hurt for them, for the time they had lost and could never get back, but was also relieved that Jumin was not as alone as he might think. He had someone who worried about him as much as he would if it was the other way around.

"Jumin made a request to me," Jihyun began.

"Awfully demanding even when sick, isn't he?" she interrupted with a laugh, but it sounded miserable coming out of her mouth.

"It's for you," he said. "He made me promise to be there for you after—after he's gone. I think he's trying to help by creating worst-case scenarios and backup plans. He is afraid you won't handle the loss well." He stared at the wall. "And that I would run off the cliff from madness if I don't do anything of help."

She locked the love in Jumin's plea away in her chest, a precious memory to recall when she missed him, and nudged Jihyun playfully. "'Run off the cliff'? Sometimes I can't tell whether you are repeating his dramatics or if it comes out right out of your head."

A flicker of amusement passed across his face. For one second, the past livelier Jihyun resurfaced. "It might have been both."

"I shouldn't have expected any less." She chuckled and sighed. "It sounds like he was tying up loose ends before he goes. I wish he wouldn't. He's in enough pain as it is. When was the last time he could walk more than a few steps without assistance? He can't visit his vineyard anymore. He can't hold the stitching needle without his fingers trembling. He hasn't met Elizabeth the Third for a while. She misses him." Her voice shook. "I'd bear all his suffering for him if I could."

Jihyun's arms came around her, and she let herself sink into them. "I'm sorry. Your misery must be greater than mine. Your life was upended when his was. It can't have been easy to get used to these extreme changes. You have built a life together, but now you lost everything that's been your normal for years."

"I wish I could go back to the person I was," she admitted, tears spilling over. "I miss loving him without the threat of death looming over us, when I could sleep and not think about how today might be the last time I see him. We were so happy—we are still happy, but this happiness is tainted with anxiety. We feel it even if we pretend not to notice."

"You can be sad for yourself," Jihyun said. "You lost that innocence, that peaceful ignorance of simply living when the thought of either of you dying is far-fetched. It didn't seem like it could catch up to Jumin when he's probably the most health-conscious person on earth. No one could have expected this."

Time did not heal all wounds. Every second of it pricked at her skin, a reminder that she could not save the person she loved the most. No matter how hard she steeled herself against the loss yet to come, nothing could prepare her for it. Last night she had a dream where she and Jumin sat side by side at a secluded beach on a quiet morning and they looked at each other's wrinkled faces and smiled, amazed that time had never worn out their love as their bodies had been. But Jumin's hair would always be black while hers would turn grey now.

"I will miss him so much," she whispered, and pulled back to wipe her tears. She used to wonder how people could cry and make a scene in hospitals without shame. She understood now. Shame did not matter in the face of loss. She would gladly make a fool out of herself if it meant she could save Jumin.

"So will I," said Jihyun quietly.

She thought of her nightly strolls with Jumin along their city that lit up in the dark, his arm around her waist and her head on his shoulder, steady bright lights guiding them home. Of the wine they spilt on their white carpet because Elizabeth the Third had jumped on them and Jumin chuckled because she must be jealous of his undivided attention for his wife. Of Jumin's pure, undistilled laughter that carried her through her darkest days. She would have to live with these memories alone.

She did not want the torturous waiting to end, no matter how exhausting it was. The pain was a reminder that she loved him, that he was real and still here. She was not a child anymore. She had grown into a capable adult, a loving and grieving woman, a wife soon to be without a husband.

This was grief, she thought. This. They wouldn't go back to how they used to be and Jumin wouldn't get to live out the rest of his life. This was it. The rest of his life was so short.

She held fast to Jihyun's hand and listened to the clock ticking.

Footnotes:

-I've seen a lot of fics about Jumin receiving the news that MC is rushed to the hospital or diagnosed with a terminal illness or his reaction to MC's death, so I wanted to focus on the aftermath of the panic. What happens when the drama dies down and the hopelessness of knowing someone you love won't be alive for long rises, and the things you do and feel when you're forced to sit in the quiet.

-I didn't plan to include Jihyun since I thought it'd be sadder if MC had no one left after Jumin died, but it didn't feel right for this story. Jumin's character has a best friend who has greatly influenced his life, and I wanted to show how grief is handled outside the dying person and the main loved one. I think it's important to have a support system when you're grieving. It's even better if you can talk to someone who understands how you feel because you're both losing the same person, even if the form of that love isn't exactly the same.

-And yet the loneliness is still there because, at the end of the day, you still go back to an empty home.

-I noticed that all my fics so far have the inherent optimism of everything may be shit but there is love and you've done your best so that's good enough including my breakup fics, so I gave this a twist of what if there is love and everyone has done everything right but it's still not enough?

-Mentioned Sunja Kim the housekeeper guest from the game because realistically if they could afford to hire one, Jumin definitely would. It would lessen MC's burden who's going through a hard time and still has to hold down the fort. It's also my personal experience that when I'm going through something horrible, the glimmers of hope that I get that perhaps life isn't all bad are when strangers randomly show me kindness. This is for them.

-But really I could only write this story because of my best friends' encouragement. One who inspired Jumin and Jihyun's friendship in The Love We Live For and one who inspired MC's friendship with Jihyun here. Mostly, I think of the latter when writing the waiting room scene. If you're reading this (and you will because I will force you and point it out if you skip this), thank you.

-MC saying "I love him in an entirely different way from how I love you." about Jihyun is probably the most unrelatable line that I've ever written btw. I love him in a very un-platonic way.

-I added the canon line by Jumin "Sorry, I just stared into your eyes" in later edits so it was a fun surprise when it connected with the previous line "I can see myself through your eyes. I see how much I am loved. Thank you for loving me." Then I quickly reworked the paragraphs to make them flow.

-Considered including a scene between Jumin and Jihyun but scrapped it due to length and POV constraints.

-The feeling of drowning in grief is what I went for in the header. The ocean-to-sky ratio is slightly off from the traditional rule of thirds to evoke an overwhelming feeling while also making it seem like it's about to engulf the "this was her love" line, the love being the sky.

-For the longest time, I didn't want to understand grief.

#my footnotes are getting longer each time i post #xela writes #jumin x mc #jumin han #jihyun kim #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #jumin han angst #mysme #jihyun kim platonic #mystic messenger v #jumin han fic

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