#johnny is DEFINITELY a weirdo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hecateslore · 2 months

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💌

supervisor!Simon

posting another ch. in a couple, so sorry for the double tag 😬

But it was a Friday, there was no work tomorrow. You thought about it for a second and smacked yourself in the forehead. You open the phone app, and go to the call log. Your finger hovers over his number. You could call him back, but he’s probably in the shower.

So you make him a contact on your phone. Was it weird, sure. Did you feel weird for it, oh absolutely. But he found your phone number throughout the files, so you were good. If you could keep score of all the crazy shit Simon has done just to talk to you. Yeah, he’s number one on the leaderboard.

You begin to type, Hey. You then delete the three letter phrase, “It’s friday lmfao” you type. A response not even a minute later, “Just realized.” You smile at his message, and that smile fades once you realize you’re texting your Supervisor on a friday night on your dinner table.

“Did you take your luxurious bath?” you chuckle at your cheesy message. “It was a shower. Don’t like baths.” he responds. Three dots are on your end, you wait for his message. Then they disappear. You can almost hear his voice in your mind, just like his emails, short.

You place your phone on the table, and get to cleaning your kitchen. Trying to rid him of your thoughts. Scrubbing the dishes from earlier this week harder than usual. You get a ping from your phone and your head snaps, looking at the tiny screen light up, a notification from your messages.

“Any plans this weekend?” the text message read from… Johnny? Your heart jumps a little bit. Your expectations lowered when you realize it wasn’t from Simon, not that it would be, he wouldn’t ask about your weekend. Not that you know, anyway.

“None so far 🙃 why??” you respond, putting your phone back down, and picking up your recently used plate. Soaking it in the scalding hot soapy-water. Checking your phone for his text message, “You want to grab dinner on Sat.”

You look over the message, thinking of a response, you could lie and say you do have plans, or you could just go and be a nice person for once. “Sure. Where are we gnna go?”

“New place that opened up next to my house 😁”

“Who uses emojis like that?” you cringe aloud, laughing off the second hand embarrassment, “I’ll see you saturday 🤪” you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in. You finish cleaning the kitchen. And go back to your room, plopping on your bed, face first of course.

You wanted to ask how his shower was, did he shower with warm water? Probably cold, military habits. He uses 785 in one, you bet. He has residency in your brain at this point. It was getting annoying. He’s been polite and you’ve just been lusting over him for almost a week.

You almost wore out the battery in your vibrator last weekend. After the valentine's day party you definitely had a lady boner, there was something so sexy about Simon eating a goddamn grape, opening your chips, and let's not forget the rain incident. You were gonna combust. And it’s all his fault. He’s so smug, so handsome and that damned dimple.

“I needa stop.” you say, face stuffed in your blanket. You lift your head up, and check the time on your phone. It was getting pretty late and you needed to get ready tomorrow, you also needed to buy a new outfit for dinner.

You get up around 10:30, brush your teeth, make yourself presentable enough to be with the rest of the population. A sweater and some sweats with your slides. Keeping your sunglasses on.

You go to the Giant mart, having to buy some necessities for your apartment. Getting some soil for your baby plants, a couple bags of cat feed for the strays, some laundry soaps and an outfit for tonight. You stopped by the coffee shop in the plaza getting a drink (fuck starbucks!!). You drive to the giant parking lot, cussing at weirdos who don’t let you in or who are constantly taking parking spaces you were looking for.

You finally find a space, farther than you would like, but hey, You found one. You get out of your car grabbing your things and making sure your sunglasses are on your face, trying to make yourself as unapproachable as you can , hoping you won’t see anyone from your past, present or job. You grab a cart and thank the teenager who’s been busting his ass in the sun all morning.

You go and get the necessities first, so, catnip. Checking the prices for which was the cheapest so you could buy the most for the poor little kitties. Settling for the store's brand you buy two big bags. Laundry soap was next, but you got caught up talking to some random guy who had brought his cat in.

You get to the laundry aisle, rolling your basket, you see a familiar figure standing holding two different types of dryer sheets. You peep the shoulder brace on, “What’re you doing on this side of town?” You joke rolling your cart closer to him, he snaps his head quickly then laughs and meets you halfway. “I live around here.” he informs, “Me too,” you say enthusiastically, which makes you clear your throat.

“I see you're in your civilian clothes,” you note his gym wear, “I just came from the gym," he nods, “You got cats?” he asks. “Uh no. These are for the strays.” you pat the large bags, he nods again. “You look like you were having some trouble,” you nod to the dryer sheets.

He holds both boxes up, frowning at each label, “My favorites got discontinued.” He says. “Poor you.” you chuckle, “I know.” He sighs.

“Those ones are the ones I use.” You point to the green box with flowers. “Ah, I used to use those ones.” he says as place the two boxes back into their spots, picking up the other box.

“Guess I'll go back to what I know.” he shrugs, and you shake your head at him, “You’re an odd man.” he only shrugs at your words. “So, are you getting groceries?” he asks, “Uh I have a couple things I need to get but I also need an outfit.”

“An outfit?” He raises a brow. “I have dinner.” you say grabbing a bottle of detergent, looking for the softener. “Johnny finally grew some balls, I see?” he snickers. “It’s just dinner.” you shrug, “Can you grab that?” he looks at you and points to his shoulder, “sorry.” you blurt, reaching for the big bottle. “He’s gonna propose.” He laughs. “He’s not.” you say organizing your cart so the new edition can fit. You start walking out to the laundry aisle, heading towards the outdoor section. “What are you getting now?” Simon asks, walking at your side. “You’re a part of my errands now?”

“Guess so. Can I put this in here?” he asked, holding his box of dryer sheets over the cart. You nod and he drops it in, not caring where it lands. “I need some soil.” you say aloud reminding yourself. You both get to the soil section looking over the types and picking up two new planting pots.

“So you and Johnny huh?” he says snapping you out of your soil reading session. “Me and Johnny huh?” you say in return. “You guys, you know?” he winks and you roll your eyes, “No,I don’t” you snort. “You’re stingy.” He jokes, “I’m private.” you point at him. “You're a pointer, that's what you are.” he points back at you, causing you to laugh at his actions.

“We’re just getting dinner, nothing more, nothing less.” you shrug, Simon narrows his eyes at you, “ Yeah, yeah.” he sighs. “I’m serious.” you giggle. “I am too, just don’t invite him in.” He smirks. “Gross, Simon.” you groan and he cackles at your distorted face.

“Well I better get going” he pats your shoulder, The warmth of his hand making you feel feral enough to eat him whole. You frown, “Thought you were gonna be a part of my errands?” He smiles lightly, “Some other time” He says, “Wouldn't want your boyfriend to get mad at you.” he jokes one more time. “Oh god!” You exasperate. He laughs, “I’ll see you monday.” he winks, he grabs his box of laundry sheets, and pats your shoulder again and walks back inside, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You wanted to watch him walk back to the door. A part of you wished it was Simon who’d text you. You felt guilty for it. You felt even guiltier for fondling your bits at the thought of him. You grab a bag of soil and throw it in the cart lazily, pushing it through the automatic doors.

Your back in the car waiting for your phone to connect to the bluetooth. Staring ahead. “Don’t invite him inside.” You’d invite Simon in if he’d let you. “Don’t be gross.” you say as you look in the rear view mirror. You needed to get something, “Kind of fancy” Johnny’s words, not yours. So you go to the mall, it's a 30 minute drive and luckily you have so much time to spare. The reservation is set at 8 and it’s barely 2.

When you finally get there, you hit up the usual stores. Go to sephora, buy a couple things and finally get a cute dress. You stop at the candied apple shop and buy yourself one. Sitting at the food court alone, you watch couples eat chinese food, or buy drinks from the boba tea shops.

‘The mall would be a cute date’ you think to yourself. You’d never been to a fancy restaurant on a first date. You weren’t into fancy cuisine and you don’t really understand the culinary arts. But if foods are good, foods are good. That’s all that really matters to you.

Johnny’s a fun guy, right? Maybe you’ll have fun tonight, maybe a little more of his personality will show. You get up from your seat and throw the rest of your apple away.

On your way home, you started to stress a little bit, were you really doing this? You tried your best to brush off the feeling of dread. But it was still there, and so were those feelings of Simon.

When you get home you fill the two bowls of cat food, putting one bowl in your small front porch and the balcony in the back. The regular black and white cat already perched on the back balcony’s railing, “Hi there, baby.” you say softly reaching to pet the top of its head softly, “am I having a day?” you chuckle scratching behind its ear. The cat jumps and heads for the bowl, taking a couple of bites and then runs off to go back to god knows where.

You go back inside, switch some plants into the new pots and then decide to get ready. You jump in the shower, do your hair and makeup, waiting a bit to get dressed. You open up a small bottle of Rose that had been chilling in your fridge for a couple of days. Sitting on the couch in just your robe, you feel bored and you want to bother simon. Ask him what he was up to, what else did he get up too. You wanted to tell him all the things about today, what you saw at the mall, what you brought home, what you were wearing.

You stare at your reflection on the tv. All prettied up. You sat until you had an hour to wait for Johnny, putting your dress on, body butters and creams so your skin would be smooth, glittery and glowy. You put your jewelry on, making sure to stack your rings, and fix your anklet and toe rings. 15 minutes until Johnny comes and you're barely putting your perfume on, taking pictures of yourself and choosing which one to put on your instagram story. A bunch of mirror selfies, and pictures of your face makeup to see if it matches, you get a text message that he’s down the street, You rush running around the house barefoot searching for the new shoes you found at the thrift, Prada kitten stilettos. You grab your purse, ID and pepper spray just in case.

“I’m here!” The text reads. You spray yourself on more time with perfume, and rush out the door, you can see Johnny's headlights from your front door. You lock your door and do a speed walk to his car, you open the passenger door and get in. “Hi.” you smile, “Hey!” he says, looking at you “You smell good.” he adds. “Thank you, I bought the perfume today.” You answer.

“You look handsome.” You compliment and he smiles lightly, “You look good.” He keeps his eyes on the road and your eye almost twitches. Everything was just, good? “So did you find this restaurant yourself?” you ask hoping for more conversation, and trying to be better than good.

“Through a friend.” you nod. “Through a friend,” you repeat, “What’s the menu like?” you question. “Just a mix of things.” he shrugs. You hum and stare out the window. This night has to be over quickly. “Can I put some music on?” you ask, “Uh sure.” he points to the aux cord in between the seat and middle console. You grab it and plug it in, hitting shuffle, letting it play whatever.

The car ride to the restaurant was more awkward than any encounter you’ve had with an old man hitting on you, And that’s very awkward.

“I’ve never been to a restaurant like this.” you say looking around, “Really?” He says, looking at the menu. “It’s pretty in here.” you look at all the other couples around talking, laughing, drinking wine. “Should we get some wine?” you perk up. “Sure.” he shrugs.

You both order a glass and you almost down yours. “So, johnny?” you chuckle at yourself. “So.” he says. “What have you been up to?” you ask. “Nothing really. Work is all.” he chuckles.

Johnny’s so handsome but, poor guy. “That’s it?” you say in disbelief, “Oh kay. So what's your favorite color?” You take a sip from your drink. “Blue.” another sip.

“Do you have siblings?” “Just a brother and two sisters.” Another sip.

And that’s how it went all night, trying to pull information out of him. For twenty minutes until you both ordered. “Why’d you leave early on friday?” He asks, mouth full of food. “I had a really bad headache.” you answer, trying to hide your grimace. “Oh.” he takes another bite and then sips from his glass. “Did you miss me too much?” you try to tease. “Uh no?” your smile drops, “I was joking.” you say, and then clear the discomfort in your throat.

“Well I am just stuffed.” you say, with one of your sides still on your plate. You pick up your third glass of red wine, and down it. Johnny’s eyes on you. “You a big fan of wine?”

“I’m a big fan of anything that makes me have a good time.” you smile sarcastically.

Johnny pays and you excuse yourself to the bathroom. Feeling slightly buzzed, you check your own location, you are on the other side of town. So 45 more minutes of awkward conversation and just weird subliminals. You look at yourself in the mirror. You look good, you smell good.

Everything's good. The food was good. The wine was good, that song choice was good, everything was good, not great, not pretty, not beautiful, not even cool, just good.

You sigh and open your messaging app, and your thumb hovers over Simon's contact. You stare at it for a long time, maybe you could call him up, and complain, he’d listen. Johnny doesn’t, everythings good to him. He sure does pay attention to the cute little server in her cute little hostess outfit. You noticed. You didn’t say anything, just sat there and ate the splatter of whatever vegetable that was decoration on your plate.

You’d felt like this before. When you were young and the boys overlooked you for your friends, they were prettier. You understood the boys, your friends were and still are pretty and have beautiful personalities. Your eyes started to water, you grabbed some tissue and cleaned your eyes. A knock on the door interrupts your little moment. You opened it and there Johnny stood, “you okay?” he asks brows furrowed, “Yeah” you nod.

You get back in the car and sit with your body turned to the window. “Food was good.” He says breaking the silence. “Mhm.” you hum. “You got a buzz?” he chuckles, “No, I'm great.” you say quietly. Looking at the lights on the street. You can see a gas station coming up and an Idea pops up in your head. “Actually, can you stop at the gas station?” He looks at you confused but switches lanes to turn in anyway, “Is there a reason?” He questions you. “I’m gonna get another ride, I have something else after this.”

“I can drop you off-” you cut him off quickly, “No need!”

He pulls into the gas station and you get out, waving at him, you walk to the entry. A lady with bright blue eyeshadow works the front counter, “Nice shoes.” you look down, “Thank you” you smile. You open your contacts and click on Simons, not thinking at all.

“Hello?” his deep voice picks up. “Hey.” you say softly, “Were you sleeping?”

“I was laying down.” he says, not confirming or denying. “I’ll call some other time-” he stops you with a hush, “What’s wrong?” you suck in a breath and that makes him sigh. “What happened?” he asks, concerned.

“I’m at a gas station.”

taglist: @darkravenqueen98 @shunoodles @lovely-giggles @imjustmes @definitelynotaclown @oreo-cream @whos-fran @ilovehyperfixating @w00lgathering @idkbbyx3

#supervisor!simon #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #ghost x y/n #simon riley #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #cod mw2 #cod

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lilacs-and-vanilla · 10 months

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How Spiderverse SOs would react to you changing your soap

(just a random prompt I thought of because of my own soap that smells like coconut and vanilla)

Noir

- He’s never been one to comment on a woman’s preferences, but this is certainly his.

- In a world where everything is black and white, other senses are used for stimulation.

- He will start kissing you on the neck more often, coming up behind you and swiping your hair over one of your shoulders to gain access to that little treasure trove of sensory bliss.

- He will give you little words of admiration here and there, telling you “you smell nice” or “I really like this new scent” or “it really suits you.”

- If you’ve just gotten out of the shower and your hair is freshly washed and still damp, he will hoist you into his arms and fall into bed with you, big spooning you so he can rest the front of his head against the back of yours.

Hobie

- Hobie definitely won’t mention it unless you bring it up first.

- You’d ask if he likes it, and he’d try to play it off by giving you a simple nod, but in the back of his mind he knows you’ve noticed the way he takes moments to get just a bit closer than normal.

- If the scent is some type of flower, he’ll start leaving them around for you to find, maybe in your living space or at work.

- If it’s some type of fruit or flavor, he’ll start eating those things more often. Especially around you, sending a subliminal message that he enjoys it and hoping you get the hint.

Miguel

- Some of Miguel’s other senses like sight and smell are heightened to make up for the missing Spidey-sense other Spider-people have.

- Even when you’re not standing right next to him, that scent lingers. It fills his head and sends his blood roaring through his veins.

- When he eventually gets you alone, he takes the opportunity to run his fingers through your hair, pressing his face into the side of your neck.

- “Are you trying to get a rise out of me, amor? Is that it?” “Well it’s working…”

Spot

- Even though he doesn’t have a face in the traditional sense, Johnny can still (somewhat) taste and smell.

- The poor man misses his hair, so he lives vicariously through yours. He likes to run his fingers through it, braid it, just touch it in general.

- When he finds out you’ve switched soaps, he’s all over it.

- He gives you random, awkward little compliments about how nice your hair smells, hoping to God he doesn’t sound like a weirdo… (he does, but you love him for it anyway)

#spider man across the spider verse #spider man into the spider verse #spider man noir #spider noir x reader #hobie brown #hobie x reader #miguel o’hara #miguel ohara x reader #the spot x reader #the spot spiderverse #i love them all so much #they’re all sweethearts #spotty has abandonment issues

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gojosnympho · 1 year

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gym bae - j.sh

pairing: johnny x black!fem!reader, johnny x shy!reader

genre: smut, fluff, non-idol!au

word count: 5.3k

content warnings: strangers to lovers, mutual pining, reader and johnny have staring problems, big dick johnny (duh), pet names, name calling, choking (fem receiving), degradation (fem receiving), praise (fem receiving), hair pulling (fem receiving), dry humping, a lil face fucking, oral (m and f receiving), fingering (fem receiving), a hint of dacryphilia, finger sucking, reader has her belly button pierced, he hits her like once (consensually), unprotected sex (don’t), rough sex, orgasm denial, begging, creampie

synopsis: after months of pining after him you finally get him all to yourself.

playlist: yoga - janelle monáe & jidenna, work out - j. cole

author’s note: i’ve been working on this forever and i finally finished it!! this one is… definitely something per the warnings. enjoy 🥰

the gym was empty for the most part today. you came five times a week for the yoga classes and because the finest man you’d seen in ages frequented this gym. he was gorgeous. honey skin, tattoos, and a beautiful body that he didn’t mind showing off. you were disappointed when you didn’t see him on any of the equipment when you walked in today. usually he’s here by now. was it weird to keep tabs on your gym crush? maybe. but you couldn’t help it, you were enamored by him. just as you were about to walk into the yoga room, you spotted him filling his water bottle up at the fountain. he filled it up and then took a big gulp from it. you stared at him, taking in the way his hair stuck to his sweaty face, the way his adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped the water, and his beautiful body. after he’d finished drinking he caught your gaze and you quickly turned around and headed into the yoga room. he definitely saw you being a fucking creep.

“he’s cute isn’t he?” one of the girls in the class asked as she rolled her mat out on the floor.

“who?” you asked her, doing the same.

“johnny.” she replied with a schoolgirl smile on her face. so that was his name.

“cute is an understatement. that man is fine as hell.” you told her and she nodded in agreement as she began her stretches.

“i see him staring at you all the time. you should talk to him.” she suggested and you nearly choked on air. he stared at you? although the thought made your brain nearly malfunction, you smiled at the girl before speaking.

“maybe. i just don’t wanna bother him.” you mumbled.

“men are predictable. no man can resist a pretty girl with yoga pants on. trust me.” you knew she was right but the thought of talking to him scared you. what if he thought you were a weirdo for always staring at him?

the entirety of class all you could think about was johnny. so when class ended you went straight to the weight room to find him, only to see he wasn’t there. when you were about to turn back around to walk to the locker room, johnny stood behind you with a smirk on his face.

“looking for something?” he asked and you shook your head no as quickly as possible, avoiding eye contact. you could feel his eyes boring down into you so you looked up at him quickly.

“i have to go.” you said, trying to move around him but he stepped in front of you.

“you’ve been staring at me since you came to this gym but now you’re too shy to talk to me? you’re adorable.” he said. he looked you up and down with those pretty brown eyes and then smirked once again. “and sexy too.”

your heart rate sped up and your mouth ran dry. you think he can tell how much it affected you because he chuckled at you.

“you’re so cute.” he said

“i’m sorry for staring. you’re just…” you trailed

“sexy? i know and don’t apologize for staring. i stare at you all the time.”

“you do?” you asked, surprised. the girl in class was telling the truth.

he nodded, “and sometimes i stay on the treadmill just a little bit longer than usual to watch you do some yoga poses.” he admitted

“wow that’s not creepy at all.” you joked

“i’ve seen you watching me workout, baby doll.” the pet name made your breath hitch and your heart start hammering into your chest, if it wasn’t doing that already.

“and i said i’m sorry.” you replied to him.

“and i said you don’t have to apologize.” he retorted.

“okay, johnny. i need to get to the locker room, so move.”

“ooh she knows my name. sounds really good coming out of your mouth. but don’t worry i know your name too.” he said and then proceeded to let your name roll of his tongue so seductively you could’ve kissed him right then. “a sexy name for a sexy girl.”

“you really like that word huh?” you asked, referring to his overuse of the word “sexy”.

“i like a lot of things. but i especially like you.” you felt heat creep up your neck and your face warm up. am i blushing?, you asked yourself.

“bye, johnny.” you said walking away from him leaving him in the weight room.

the locker room was fairly empty too. only a few girls were in here and the few that were, were grabbing their things to leave. you dropped your gym bag on the sink and looked in the mirror at yourself.

“you had to get away from me to come stare at yourself in the mirror?” you turned to see johnny standing a few feet behind you.

“this is the women’s locker room!” you exclaimed, trying to pretend you cared but you didn’t. not when he was so close to you in an empty room.

“relax, nobody cares.” he said, coming closer to you. he stood behind you, his hands on either side of you caging you in.

“what are you doing?” you asked him and he shushed you.

“can i touch you?” he asked, keeping his hands where they were before you gave him consent, but you could tell he was just itching to put his hands on you. and god that made your insides flutter.

“touch me where?” you breathed out.

“anywhere you want me to touch you, beautiful.” he replied. he was smooth, you’d give him that.

“kiss me?” you suggested. he grabbed your arm and spun you around so that you were facing him. he captured your lips in a kiss, his hands sliding down your back to rest on your waist. his stubble tickled your skin. his lips were soft, just like you’d dreamed about.

“johnny, we can’t do this here.” you told him when he began trailing his kisses down your neck.

“why not? plenty of people fuck in here.” you grimaced at the thought.

“that is exactly why we can’t do it here.”

“my place or yours?”

“you not gone kill me are you?” your question made him chuckle but he stopped when he realized that you were serious.

“i’m not, i promise. just wanna fuck you.”

“my place then.”

your apartment was only a few blocks away from the gym so as awkward as it was, you guys walked.

“you’re so quiet.” johnny said

“i usually am.” you replied

“don’t worry honey. we’ll fix that.”

you closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath at his statement. you wondered what it was about him that affected you so heavily. was it how fucking good he looked after a workout? was it the tattoos that littered his perfect body? was it just him?

“this is my building.” you said fishing around for your keys in your bag. once you’d retrieved them, you entered the building. the elevator ride up to your floor was quiet. you were too shy to speak to him. you couldn’t believe you were even doing this.

“are you shy like this with everybody you have sex with?” johnny asked, finally breaking the silence you shared.

“not everybody. just you.” you admitted.

“do i make you nervous?” he inquired

“a little.”

he hummed in response.

“nothing to be nervous about, baby doll. i’m gonna make you feel real good.” he was closer to you now, his body brushing against yours.

you could smell him, his musky scent had heat spreading throughout your body. you tried to avoid looking at him but you couldn’t, not when he was this close. you locked eyes with the tall man in front of you who now had his hands resting on your hips and his lips close to yours. just as he was about to kiss you, the elevator dinged. relieved, you pulled away and got off first. the air felt hot around you. you heard him chuckle behind you and then follow you out of the elevator.

the short walk to you apartment was quiet once again. johnny didn’t mind though. he was too busy watching your ass while you walked in front of him to notice. he almost didn’t notice you’d made it to your apartment door until he heard your keys and the click of the lock. you both stepped inside and then locked the door behind you. you kicked off your shoes, dropped your bag on the floor, and hung your jacket on the hook by the door.

“you want something to drink?” you asked him, this time looking him straight in the eye trying to make it seem like you weren’t still a nervous wreck.

“nah,” he began, he walked over to you grabbing your chin gently between his forefinger and thumb. you heart sped up at his action and you were sure he could hear it. but if he could, he didn’t say anything. “i want you.”

“i want you too.” you said without thinking. you wanted to kick yourself for even speaking but johnny thought it was cute. he smiled at you and then placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

“i know you do, looking at me with those pretty eyes.” he said, and this time heat spread throughout your cheeks. you wanted to look away from him because his stare was so intense but you decided against it.

“wanna go sit down?” you asked him, gesturing to your couch. both of you still stood in the corridor by your front door.

“sure.” he replied. the grip on your face loosened and you found yourself pouting because he wasn’t touching you anymore.

now sat on the couch, johnny pulled you into his lap. you sat straddled on his lap, his hands running up and down your sides. his touches were doing a good job at relaxing you. the nervousness you felt slowly fading away and neediness taking its place.

“now tell me what you like.” he said and you gave him a look of confusion.

“what do you mean?” you asked him with furrowed brows.

“you’re so damn cute, baby doll.” he gushed, playfully pinching your warm cheeks. “i mean… do you like being choked? do you like getting called names? do you like getting your pretty hair pulled?” he asked, pulling one of your curly tendrils and watching it snap back in place.

once again you were blushing, heat prickled your cheeks as you thought about his words. you did like those things. you just never could say it out loud so instead you nodded.

“say it out loud. i gotta hear it from you.” he said while his hands continued to rub your body. your throat was dry when you tried to speak, but johnny wasn’t doing anything until he heard you say it.

with a deep breath and fiddling with your fingers, you spoke: “i like getting choked and getting my hair pulled and stuff. it’s nice. i like it.”

“good girl.” he praised you. johnny didn’t miss the little moan that slipped past your lips but he decided to tease you for it later. “what about names? you like getting called dirty names?”

“yes.” you said, cheeks still hot from blushing for the umpteenth time today.

“can i touch you here?” he asked you, his hand lightly brushing your neck. you thought it was so nice of him to ask before he touched you. even if it was just the bare minimum.

“yeah.” you agreed, with a quick nod of your head.

he wrapped his hand around your throat experimentally, careful not to add too much pressure just enough so you could feel it. you had to bite back a moan. you’d dreamed of this for so long, you couldn’t believe it was finally happening. but you wanted more—needed. you needed more.

“johnny?” his eyes flickered up to your eyes. “harder.” you said, giving him the most innocent look you could muster, but you were far from it. he was gonna see that by the end of the night.

“fuck.” he replied. he added more pressure and you gasped in response. “i should’ve known you were a little slut. quiet girls are always freaks.”

“i’m your little slut.” you said through the grip he had on your neck. johnny groaned at your sudden boldness. you weren’t shy anymore. you were too damn horny to be shy right now.

he captured your lips in a kiss, his tongue pushing past your lips to shove his tongue down your throat. his hand never left your neck and god it made you wanna cum right there. you began to move your hips against him, hoping for some friction.

“feel good rubbing your slutty little pussy against my dick?” he asked and you moaned.

“so good.” you agreed.

you continued to rub yourself against him and johnny let you. he watched while you humped against him, hands on your hips to guide your movements but it wasn’t enough. you still needed more. johnny could tell you were getting frustrated so he stopped your movements. wordlessly, he began to undress you. he started with the oversized shirt you wore to the gym today. he slipped the garment over your head and threw it somewhere that wasn’t of concern to you at this moment. he took off your sports bra next, with a little help from you. now you sat atop him, topless.

“seeing them outside of the sports bra is refreshing.” he grabbed the mounds of flesh and kneaded them softly with his nimble hands. you sighed in pleasure. you didn’t want this moment to end, you never wanted him to stop touching you. he focused on your nipples now, rolling the little buds between his fingers while you moaned and arched your back. when they were hard enough for his liking johnny wrapped his arms around you and kissed you again.

“wanna suck your dick.” you said breathlessly, pulling away from his lips.

“go for it, baby.” he said. he pecked your lips one more time before you slid down to the ground to kneel in front of him. you started to untie his sweats. johnny watched you inquisitively, waiting for you to make the next move. you tugged on his sweats indicating you wanted him to pull them down, so he did. he took his briefs with them, both pieces of clothing pooled around his ankles.

“fuck.” you whispered. he was huge, as you’d expected. bigger than anyone else you’ve ever been with.

“too big for you, baby doll?” he said with a smirk and you shook your head no. “then put it in your mouth.”

you gave the tip a small lick making johnny sigh in relief.

“never thought i’d have the hot girl from the gym with my dick in her mouth.” he said, sweeping your hair out of your face as you took him into your mouth and started to suck.

you bobbed your head up and down, using your hand to stimulate what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. johnny moaned, throwing his head back while you sucked him off. he pulled your hair away from your face again so he could see how pretty you looked while he used your mouth. your curly hair between his thighs and your pretty brown eyes looking up at him while you choked around him had him almost ready to cum.

“you like getting your mouth fucked?” he asked between moans. you pulled off of him briefly and used your hand to stroke him so that you could answer.

“mhm.” you nodded.

you took him back into your mouth immediately. you swirl your tongue around his head before taking as much as you could down your throat. johnny bucked his hips up causing you to choke around him. the feeling of your throat constricting around his head had him throwing his head back on your couch again. he gripped your hair tighter in his grasp. you moaned at the sting, hoping he’d take the hint and he’d keep doing it.

“you like it when i pull your hair like that? you dirty fucking slut.” he did it again, tugging at your hair and you moaned around him. “gonna fuck your throat now. you ready?”

you hummed around him in approval. his hips stuttered from the vibration your little hum caused but he pushed through. he rammed his dick in your mouth, pressing you down until your nose touched his pubic bone. he pulled you off by your hair and smiled down at you as you coughed and sputtered.

“good fucking girl.” johnny said, repeating his action of quite literally shoving his dick down your throat. “fuck you give good head.” he moaned out and then pulled you off again. he looked at you. as fucked up as it was he loved how messy and dazed you looked. how your lips were swollen and how they were slick with spit. how your mascara had started to run down your cheeks and stain them in black tears.

“what kind of attention seeking slut wears mascara to the gym?” johnny tsked at you wiping the black tears with his thumb. he shoved it in your mouth and you sucked it clean. “dirty fucking bitch.”

“you like it.” you retorted and he smiled.

“i thought you were shy.” he teased you running his thumb over your pretty, swollen lips.

“not anymore.” you replied, taking him back in your mouth and he moaned, throwing his head back and tangling his fingers in your hair once again. you licked the underside of it and then sucked the head into your mouth as you looked up at johnny through your wet lashes.

“shit! don’t look at me like that or i’m gonna fucking cum.” he whimpered his bravado dissolving. you continued your actions sucking him off while you looked up at him and he moaned again, his chest heaving up and down. “fuck i’m gonna cum!” he exclaimed right before he shot spurts of his warm cum down your throat.

you swallowed everything that he gave you and then gave his tip a small kiss making his hips stutter.

“you’re a dirty girl. come here.” he said pulling you up and capturing your lips in a kiss tasting himself on your tongue.

“how was that?” you asked him

“fucking incredible.”

“i wore the mascara for you, by the way.” you told him. you felt silly admitting to him out loud but he just smiled. you were so adorable to him.

“well i’m sorry i ruined it then.” he said, kissing your tear stained cheek.

“no you’re not but i appreciate the fake concern.”

“how about i make it up to you by eating your pussy and fucking you really good?”

“hmm, deal.” johnny wasted no time scooping you up in his arms and laying you down on the couch. he took off the remainder of his clothing, now standing in front of you in all his naked glory. he was so sexy and you couldn’t believe he was all yours right now.

“i’m gonna make you cum so hard baby.” he said before placing a hungry kiss on your lips. he began kissing down your body and as soon as he made it to the waist of your yoga pants he stopped.

“why’d you stop, baby?” you asked him

“you have your belly button pierced? that’s so fucking hot.” he said giving it a tiny kiss that oddly made you shudder. he removed your black yoga pants to reveal your baby pink thong. “this color looks so fucking good on you but, a thong to the gym? you’re a slut.” he teased and you shoved his shoulder.

“i don’t like panty lines, okay?” you said and he hummed in response.

“and they’re fucking soaked. this wet from sucking my dick and some kisses?” your cheeks burned hot again and you looked away from him briefly to collect yourself.

“stop teasing me.” you pouted and he smiled at you.

“what’s the fun in that? obviously the teasing’s been working.” he said running a long finger over your clothed slit. he finally pulled your thong down sucking in a breath at the sight of your pussy.

“such a pretty pussy.” he wasted no time lapping up the juices that dripped from you. using his tongue to lick you from bottom to top.

“mmm johnny.” you moaned. you couldn’t believe after all these months of pining he was between your legs, sucking on your clit like it was the only place he ever wanted to be.

“you taste so fucking good, baby doll.” he praised pulling away for a second. he eased a finger into your pussy and you squeaked at the intrusion. “nice and tight. i’m gonna have to stretch you out for my dick.”

“stretch me out then.” you said, your shy exterior was long gone now. he groaned at your words, going back to what he was doing.

while he fingered you, he went back to sucking your clit. the feeling made your head spin. but what really had you moaning like a slut is when he pumped another one of his long fingers into your pussy. you clenched around the digits, sucking them in greedily. his mouth was still busy on your clit, sucking it until you were squirming and trying to close your legs.

“keep your fucking legs open.” he said using his free hand to land smacks on both of your thighs. you moaned at the impact, your pussy clenching around his fingers. “you like it when i hit you? you really are a slut.”

“yours. i’m your slut.” you said to him, looking at him with those pretty doe eyes.

“you’re gonna get it if you keep telling me that.” he pulled his fingers out of you making you whimper but he pushed the digits past your lips, making you suck on them. “get them nice and wet for me, baby doll.”

while you were making a mess on his fingers johnny used his other hand to pump his dick. you watched with hungry eyes wanting nothing more but his dick in you. you pushed your hips up towards him silently begging him to give you what you wanted.

“you want my dick in that slutty little pussy?” he asked and you nodded softly, his fingers still heavy on your tongue. “beg for it.” he whispered, taking his fingers from your mouth and sticking them back inside of you, satiating you for a little bit.

“fuck me, johnny. i need you inside of me so bad.” you begged pushing your hips up again. his fingers continued to scissor you open and you were sure you were gonna explode if he didn’t put his dick in you.

“that’s my girl.” he praised you. he pulled his fingers from your pussy and used your juices to coat his dick.

“fuck me, johnny.” you begged him again, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling his body toward you until his dick was prodding at your entrance.

he grabbed his dick, slapping it on your pussy listening to the way you moaned in anticipation. he was gonna fuck the shit out of you. both of you had been dreaming about this forever. he pushed inside of you and you gasped grabbing on to his biceps to center yourself.

“you are so fucking big.” you whined out. you couldn’t believe how full you felt right now. you felt your walls spasming around him and he groaned, throwing his head back.

“fuck you gotta relax, baby doll. you’re gonna make me cum if you squeeze around me like that.” he said leaning over you so his arms were on either side of your head.

“so fucking big, johnny.” tears began to prickle in your lash line while you looked up at him. your little whimpers and the way you were in tears had blood rushing to johnny’s dick. it was fucked up. he knew that.

“i know, baby. you wanna stop?” he asked and you shook your head no immediately.

“no!” you exclaimed. “please fuck me.”

he started moving his hips, starting off slowly. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you clawed at his biceps. johnny hissed when your nails dug into his skin no doubt leaving marks in their wake.

“you’re so deep.” you choked out, tears spilling from your eyes.

“all that shit you were talking and you can’t even take my dick.” he teased you. your lips wobbled when his hips picked up speed, tears still sliding down your cheeks.

“i…fuckkk…i can. i-i can take it.” you argued back, but you didn’t sound that convincing to him or to yourself for that matter.

“then shut the fuck up and take it.” he pushed his fingers back in your mouth and you cried out around them when he started pounding into you. “such a messy baby.” he said to you when your drool dripped down his fingers and mixed in with your tears.

he took his fingers out of your mouth and grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks together. he was still bullying his dick into you, the head bumping against your sweet spot with every thrust. you moaned clenching around him, that feeling in your tummy threatening to snap.

“johnny…please don’t stop.” you moaned your nails digging into his arms even harder probably breaking skin.

“is my little slut gonna cum already?” he asked and you nodded frantically. “well you’re gonna have to hold it.” before letting your face go. you whined throwing your head back trying to do as he said. you looked so cute, he thought. so cute trying to be a good girl for him when he was torturing you with every drag of his dick in your spasming walls.

“p-please?” you hiccuped, more tears flowing down your pretty cheeks.

he was gonna think about this moment for a long time, even if he did get to fuck you again. he’d always remember this.

he thrusted into you still, seeming to never slow down. he was edging you, every time he felt you about to cum he slowed his movements, torturing you. it was fucking torture.

“please?” you begged again, you didn’t think you could take it anymore. your legs now numb and all you could feel was how your pussy throbbed helplessly around his dick, which was also begging for a release. “please johnny. please let me cum.”

“no.” he said and you whined again

you tried so hard to hold it, but the more he fucked you the more your orgasm started to breakthrough. your body was shaking. he made sure he was hitting your spot whenever he rammed into you making it impossible to hold on any longer. your walls spasmed around him and johnny decided he was done torturing you.

“go ahead and cum, baby doll.” he encouraged you.

you finally let go, letting that band in your tummy snap. you came so hard you felt like you were gonna blackout. you squeezed so hard around him he almost spilled inside of you but he held out. he kept driving his hips into you while you throbbed around him and laid under him unmoving because of how hard your orgasm hit you.

“i’m gonna cum.” he announced. he thrusted into you a few more times and when his hips stuttered and he was about to pull out you locked your ankles around his waist with the little strength you had left.

“nuh uhn. cum in me.” you whispered.

“fuckkkk!” he cursed right before he shot ropes of his cum into you, painting your walls white. he pulled out of you watching as his cum flowed out of you and ruined your couch cushions.

after you caught your breath and came back to your senses, you looked up at johnny who was already staring at you. you couldn’t believe what just happened. you fucked him, raw. and what you really couldn’t believe is you let a virtual complete stranger cum inside you.

“johnny we just fucked with no condom.”

“i’m clean. i swear. and i’m assuming you’re on birth control miss ‘cum in me’.” you hid your face in your hands when you recalled your dirty words.

“i am.” you confirmed

“then stop freaking out and let’s just bask in the fact we just had some really good sex.” he said giving you a kiss on your cheek.

“we can’t bask for too long i need to shower.” you said before sliding from underneath him and standing to your feet. “you can come join me.” you stuck your hand out for him to grab onto.

“i’d love to.” he replied, grabbing your hand.

“we’re only showering though. no hanky panky.” you said and he pouted at you before nodding.

“fine.” he huffed.

…

it had been a few weeks since you and johnny started seeing each other. you’d been on a few dates and outside of the obvious sexual attraction you guys had for each other, you were actually starting to catch real feelings for him. so here you were at the gym again, laying out your yoga mat before the start of class.

“so how’ve things been going with johnny?” the girl from a few weeks ago asked you.

“great.” you said with a smile.

“he still stares at you all the time, you must’ve put a spell on him.” she joked, beginning her stretches. she had no idea. no idea the reason he was staring at you is because he just got done blowing your back out before you came here.

“something like that.” you replied.

after class, you met johnny in the weight room where he was using one of the machines. when he finished he pulled you into a hug, placing a kiss on your lips.

“you’re sweaty.” you said

“so are you.” he replied, wiping the sweat that had accumulated on your forehead with the back of his hand.

you kissed him again, pushing your tongue into his mouth and he pulled back.

“is my baby needy again? was this morning not enough?” he asked you

you nodded, “i need you. what are you doing after this?” he’d become like a drug the past few weeks. you hadn’t went two days without fucking him and you’d be damned if you were gonna stop now.

“you.” he answered lowly, giving you another kiss.

that’s how you guys ended up in his bedroom, you bouncing on his dick like your life depended on it.

“i’m gonna cum, johnny.” you whined.

“cum for me, baby doll.” he encouraged you, kissing you while you came. he followed right behind you, filling you up.

you sat there in silence for a moment, laying your head on his shoulder and enjoying the closeness.

“you should be my girlfriend.” he said and you lifted your head up and looked at him.

“are you fucking with me, johnny?” you asked him

“no. i’m serious. we’ve been having sex and going on dates like a couple. and you’re beautiful. i want you all to myself. so be my girlfriend?”

“okay! i’ll be your girlfriend. funny time to ask when your dick is inside of me.”

“what’s a better time to ask?” he inquired as he rubbed soothing circles into your hips.

“any other time really.” you answered, lifting off of him and laying down next to him on his bed. “but you know what? it’s full circle. that’s how we even started talking to each other in the first place.”

“remember when you were shy?”

“remember when i told you to shut up?”

“no?”

“because i’m telling you to shut up now.”

“rude.”

“get used to it, boyfriend!” you beamed, reaching over to pinch his cheek.

#ten writes 🧚🏾‍♀️#kpop x black reader #johnny x black reader #johnny suh x black reader #nct x black reader #johnny suh x reader #johnny x reader #nct smut #johnny smut #johnny suh smut

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urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites · 18 days

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Hcs for greasers with a GN!goth s/o who moved to town, and everyone, both greasers and socials are afraid of them, because everyone thinks they’re a “witch”

Ponyboy Curtis

-he was definitely afraid of you at first, and he 10/10 believed you could actually brew potions but also secretly thought you were cool and interesting

-he was SUPER intimidated by you

-but one day got enough courage to approach you when you were reading under a tree and found out that you were pretty chill and not yk a witch (he does ask tho, just it case)

-Y’all hit off and you showed him some of your music which he actually liked!

-eventually you guys started dating n stuff which was only surprising to those who didn’t know Pony that well

-you go on library/reading + music dates a lot

-Not a lot of Socs mess with him now that he’s always with his witch

-Fr no Socs mess with him he has such a scary dog privilege with you

-matching bandanas + belts

Johnny Cade

-he’s so in love with alt people honestly

-didn’t believe you were a witch and knew weirdos get a bad rap

-he wasn’t scared of you because he thought you were a witch, He was just scared to actually go up and talk to you

-he kind of always admired you from afar cuz yall had a similar vibe and you went to the lot a lot (hehe)

-One day after a long pep talk in the mirror he got the courage to go up and talk to you

-you guys really got along and started dating!

-when you first chatted he admired one of your best rings and you just gave it to him

-(he hasn’t taken it off since istg)

-you did his eyeliner one time and it looked SOOOO GOOD

-10/10 he does matching rings n belts and sometimes small makeup with you

-you guys are v cute together and honestly make so much sense, you’re also his scary dog privledge

Sodapop Curtis

-he saw you and was like ohhhh that’s why they call them a witch

-honestly surprised he liked you bc you aren’t usually his type but opposites attract yk

-he finds your style exotic and so different from his own it opens up his world

-you meet buying snacks at his gas station and he does his usual charming boy personality, suprised when you don’t respond to his flirtation and roll your eyes

-after lots of him flirting and you rejecting (more playfully over time) he finally manages to get you on a date with him

-you guys actually hit it off rlly well

-you guys are like golden retriever x black cat and compliment eachother soooo well

-tbh people saw it coming because yk opposites attract

-he tries to copy ur makeup one time and it did NOT end well 😭💅

-yall turn heads fr

Darry Curtis

-he didn’t necessarily wary of you because of the rumors, he’s just a traditionalist and not rlly used to seeing different people

-so when you come into town you rock his world

-one day your walking along just minding your own business when he grabs your arm and is like “wait” as if he isn’t stopping you from literally moving

-“so uh, what with the, uh, getup?”

“Idk man I just like to dress this way….”

-you guys start talking and actually become good friends

-after a few months he asks you out

-you guys are a pretty stable couple, and ponyboy definitely thinks of you as his rlly cool older sister

-I think yall are the most surprising

-he’s the most likely to change his wardrobe to match yours, def goes all out. Like not tooo far but he changes all his outfits to be vaguely goth

Dallas Winston

-was he a little (a lot) scared of you because of the rumors? Hell yes. Was he going to show that? Hell no.

-probs approached you on a date or some shit 💀

-made a rude remark or joke so you slapped him and he was kinda surprised such a quiet thing could leave his face that red

-he was kinda in love with that ngl and loved your spunk

-he bothered you everyday after that

-back and fourth after much banter (enemies to lovers energy)

-he managed to actually get you to go on a date with him

-POWER COUPLE FR

-people are SO scared when they see yall walking down the streets yall are sooo intimidating together fr

-matching belts and rings

Two Bit Matthews

-you guys probs met in the back of the classroom

-he made some joke like “Damn, how’d you get out of your coffin this mornin’?!

-to which you responded with an eye roll and a chuckle

-you guys actually end up cracking jokes the whole period and laughing a little too loud

-he finally asks you out and you say yes

-you guys go out and make fun of Socs together and have a grand time

-you guys kind of started dating a bit immaturely, but you actually get to something that’s a lot more mature and have really deep conversations, you kind of ground him, and he kind of bring the humor out of you a bit

-he def takes advantage of the fact people are scared of you and you both jumpscare people and just have so much fun

-best Halloween couple fs

-overall pretty solid

-matching shirts

Steve Randle

-he probably heard the rumors and thought they were stupid and he was the least phased by your look

-I mean don’t get me wrong he liked it but he wasn’t gonna tell you that right away

-you don’t like eachother at first but after you start talking you start to appreciate eachother

-he asks you out and you say yes

-you guys are sooo cute n iconic

-you sometimes play music out loud when he fixes cars and just vibe together

-the EGO boost he gets from your compliments on his style

-he wears matching rings and shirts with you

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sirfrogsworth · 3 months

Text

My First "Viral" Post

Like, 20 people told me to submit my Brady Bunch GIFset to @world-heritage-posts and hundreds more tagged it #worldheritagepost.

So I was like, "OKAY OKAY, I'll submit it!"

And they never posted it.

Which is completely fine!

WHP, it's cool. We're cool. I don't need World Heritage Post reblogs.

I have reblogs at home.

(my reblogs at home)

I am definitely *NOT* going to do the "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???" thing.

I only do cool and funny "Don't you know who I am?" interactions like Tony Hawk.

But when I submitted the post it reminded me of an even earlier time on Tumblr when there were only a few people who could make a post go viral.

The main one was called @thedailywhat. If something got posted there, it could get HUNDREDS of notes.

HUNDREDS!!!!

Oh, that's another funny thing. Several people commented "Why does this only have 20K notes!!???"

There are currently 135 million active users on Tumblr and the site got roughly 2.4 billion visits in 2023.

In all of 2010 the entire site got 50 million visitors. Not users. Just people who went to a Tumblr address during that entire year.

In any case, if you thought you created something cool and you wanted more than 10 people to see it, you had to submit your cool thing to The Daily What. It was the first Tumblr to reach 100,000 followers which was more than the actual founder of Tumblr had at the time.

It was run by a single person but he was very private and never revealed his name.

His emails were very cryptic.

I'm pretty sure he sold the site and went to live on a beach or something. But whoever bought it did not understand how to run the blog and the final post was in 2013.

I'm not surprised the new owner crashed and burned. Johnny Internets was irreplaceable. He really understood what would connect with people. Nearly everything he posted would gain decent popularity. I'm not sure people realize how much of a skill curating content can be and how hard it is to post popular things with consistency.

He would reject a lot of content outright and was very picky about what went on his Tumblr. But when he actually posted something you made, it was almost guaranteed to go viral.

Well, viral relative to the time period.

I suspect I submitted nearly a hundred things before he finally agreed to reblog me. And I still remember the first thing I submitted that he liked.

I posted this in 2010. How many notes do you think it got?

Probably a million, right?

No less than 100K.

I mean, look at how cute that panda is!

SONOFABITCH!

Back then, that was enough.

But that was just me putting words on something. My ultimate goal was to get him to post one of my original photoshops.

And do you see how he gave proper attribution? That meant a lot during a time when other curators were cropping my watermarks and claiming things as their own.

A real mensch, this Mysterious Stranger was.

These two posts got me enough traction to grow my following and before I knew it, I was The Daily What for other people. I was able to help other artists and content creators get traction and grow their following.

It was a beautiful Tumblr version of paying it forward. Only not as awkward as those weirdos who do it in drive-thru lines.

I ONLY GOT A SODA AND NOW I GOTTA PAY FOR 40 MCNUGGETS?

It's fine.

Enjoy your nugs.

#tumblr history with Froggie

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ohbo-ohno · 7 months

Note

Collared kitten au anon here - IF I WERE MORE CONFIDENT WITH MY WRITING ID DO IT FOR SURE!!! I've written one thing one time and it was fluff. But i have leetol ideas to share:

Like kitty having a subscription tier, simon and Johnny are the most expensive - one of the perks is that she makes custom videos for them. moans their names on camera and is a huge tease. Buys a collar with Simon's name on the tag and doesn't put it on but just bats at it all playful. Drives them both up a wall.

Maybe even sets up a donator play date goal. Whoever donates x amount gets to be featured in a video and can play with kitty, donor gets to choose the theme.

MEANWHILE kitty thinks these dudes are kinda cringe but loves the attention and money, and sometimes they say things that get kitty irresponsibly wet . But she's never had a master before so she's definitely not gonna let some strange man collar her, even if his video requests always send a thrill up her spine that leaves her eying up the collar with his name on it.

Kitty secretly wants a master but doesn't know how to let herself be owned 😿

-🐈

she thinks they're probably just some weirdos in their basement who happen to be weirdly good at dirty talk but then she offers a video call and sees johnny and she's like... oh... they're hot...

doesn't have a master because she likes doing her videos and she hasn't found anyone willing to be with someone who's also a sex worker :( but ghost and johnny kinda love the idea, showing all these people what belongs to them, what only they get to touch. they don't let her play with toys bought by someone else though, their kitty only plays with toys bought by her pup and her master

her buying a nametag with simon's name and never putting it on, just teasing, and he threatens her with with all sorts of punishments and she just giggles cause he can't really do anything to her :) simon keeps tally and tans her hide once he gets his hands on her <3

#🐈 anon #asks and answers #ghoap x reader

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kitkatscabinet · 8 months

Text

Probably a really niche thought, but you and Johnny going out for a date while he’s on leave. Just walking through the streets, window shopping etc. At some point you’d leave for the bathroom or something and while Johnnys waiting for you to get back when he gets accosted by some wanna be tiktoker/YouTuber. One of those scummy types that asks him to rate different women. Or like one of those fuck/marry/kill with the different girls just standing there. Obvi Johnny just does not engage, waiting for you to get back and he says as much (honestly the bare minimum). When you get back to him he’s so excited to tell you about the audacity of those weirdos. Definitely says some shit like “why would I ever wanna look at anyone that’s not you?”

Gets the best head of his life that night for sure 😫

#john mactavish x reader #soap x reader #x reader #soap prompt

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chaoticbreadcrumbs · 5 months

Text

Source: @ dailymileena on twitter

Let me break down every table:

➥Table number 1:

-The intelligent, popular, rich kids table

-They would allow me to sit with them but they would silently give off vibes they don't want me to sit there.

-They would compare Outworld's and Earthrealm's current economy and I would be out there like "Did you know the Egyptians believed the most significant thing you could do in your life was die?" and they would just look at me once and ignore me completely. And then I would just sit there all embarrassed and uncomfortable.

➥Table number 2:

-Basic, normal, kinda boring table

-We would talk about ourselves just so it wouldn't be awkward.

-Gives off "We got paired to do a group project during our class and now we need to interact with each other."

-At some point we would run out of things to say so Jax would tell us Jacqui's embarrassing childhood stories and she would get angry and embarrassed.

➥Table number 3:

-Extroverted, confident, loud vibes

-Johnny would definitely not be able to sit still and talk about different random things while Sonya would get annoyed but also interact with everyone a lot. Johnny and Cassie would talk non stop to me and Frost would just interrupt the topics and talk about how she disagrees.

➥Table number 4:

-Very chill, friendly vibes

-Liu Kang and Geras are extremely disciplined while Raiden and Kung Lao are just very laid back so the convos would just flow nicely.

-Everyone is warm, friendly and open to conversation, I would fit right in into that group.

-Liu would offer everyone some tea while Raiden and Kung Lao would mumble about weird stuff to me.

➥Table number 5:

-Pride, savage, tense vibes

-They all would give each other a death stare in silence until someone decides to speak about what they hate/ their accomplishments. And they all would just join in and hate on each others opinions/ boast about themselves.

-I would be there like "Okay, I will just stay quiet to avoid any kind of confrontation with these guys."

➥Table number 6:

-Everyone has completely different vibes but we would somehow maintain the conversation pretty nicely.

-We all would talk mostly about Outworld and its royal family/ Earthrealm/ Netherrealm. Smoke would get excited while listening to different stories and ask random questions about them out of genuine curiosity.

➥Table number 7:

-Scary, emo weirdos table

-I wish I could sit at one table /w Shang Tsung but I wouldn't be comfortable sitting next to Quan Chi and general Shao. I feel that I am completely out of everyone's league and I would be kinda scared.

-Shang, Shao and Quan Chi would conspire and scheme about different things and Sindel would laugh at their "pathetic" ideas.

➥Table number 8:

-We would have a deep, serious conversations about dating, toxic people, and spirituality. -Everyone would be very engaged in presenting their opinions and listen very intensely to what each person has to say. It reminds me of those YouTube podcasts.

#Mortal Kombat 1 #table #mortal kombat #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 (2023)#video game #mortal kombat characters

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charliemwrites · 4 months

Note

im all for angst but im also weirdo soaps biggest fan so would you have an eta on the next woof woof johnny part? (no pressure at all😭)

Uhhhh no clue in all honesty 😅 I love Johnny too and we’ll all definitely be due for some fluff and silliness sometime soon

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sirianasims · 6 months

Text

Chapter 8

They Grow Up So Fast

Winter is coming to an end, but first we have two big parties to attend.

First up, it’s the new year! Due to the lack of chairs, though, Dina just goes straight to drinking, apparently.

Don pulls Dina aside to check on her while Alex teaches Jodi to dance.

“So, Dina… you look… well.”

“Thanks, Don… Honestly, I feel better than I have in a long time. I love Quentin and Jodi, but I don’t think the stress of being pregnant was good for me.”

Johnny just seems so happy to see his two families get along.

“SUSHUBIII!”

What, you don’t celebrate the new year by impaling your husband? Weirdo.

The new year starts with a second party, though.

Brie is growing up! This time, the party is being held at Johnny and Dina’s house, which is across the street.

Brie asked specifically for a unicorn cake.

Happy birthday, Brielle!

Brie is definitely Johnny’s daughter, no doubt about it.

Don has no time for cake, he’s too busy keeping an eye on the younger kids.

Cora is mostly excited about the fact that there is a dog, Lady. I swear Quentin and Jodi are here as well, but they somehow kept avoiding the photos. You can just barely spot Jodi behind Don’s chair, and Quentin is playing outside.

For her birthday, Brie got a full-size violin to replace her old one. She wants to become a musician. Definitely Johnny’s kid.

Brie’s best friend, Shawn Talla, has also grown up.

They’re adorable together, so I think it’s time to move things along. After all, Brie is not the heir and can live whatever life she wants.

They head to Brie’s room for homework and privacy.

Brie’s first kiss. They’re not official yet, but this is a good start.

Alex is constantly upgrading things. With four people and a mischievous cat in the house, things break often and get dirty constantly. But it’s all fine, we need to max that handiness.

We still love Noodles no matter what, though. Especially Cora, whose main interests in life seems to be space and cats.

When she’s not playing with Noodles, she’s either doing homework, playing chess, or pretending to be an astronaut.

Alex is also working on her mischief by trolling the forums daily.

“Someone os wrong on the internet and I need to teach them a lesson!”

“I rickrolled them. Classic. That’ll teach them!”

beginning / previous / next

#duchellilegacy #duchellichapters #don lothario #alexandra duchelli #duchelligen1

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cyberdragoninfinity · 11 months

Note

Howdy! I got a question about le Pizza AU: what was Paradox and Bruno's dads like when they were alive? :O This has been on my mind for a long while!

YES oh this is a great question, been itching for an excuse to talk about the Pizza AU College Polycule

SO for the purposes of the AU, Bruno's dad (Johnny) and Paradox's dad (Malcolm) are both sort of the equivalent of the "original" human PDox and Antinomy in the 5D's timeline, so that's a fun space to think about and play around in.

Johnny Borrelli was just this vibrant, endlessly enthusiastic guy, so fun to be around, really kind of an emotional core of the Iliaster polycule imo. Huge fan of cooking and formula 1 racing, just kind of this big friendly jock, and a really sweet dad too ;___; idk if he was actually in college like the other 3 Stars or just hung around campus while working at an auto shop and trying to pursue a professional racing career (to middling success.) I think he and Zone met in high school and that's the catalyst to everything.

Malcolm Sinclair (lmao) was a more subdued, bookish kind of guy and probably a little bit of a weirdo (slash pos.) He majored in Physics and before he died he was working a pretty decent researcher job at a lab in town. Bit of an absent-minded professor type, quiet but quick-witted and hard-working, big fondness for museums and sci-fi and time travel fiction (which definitely rubbed off on Paradox as a child, beheheheh). He met Zone because they had a shared course or two in the same part of campus and hit it off.

Their presence definitely helped balance out the Iliaster foursome and their Collective Weirdguy Magnetic Field. I think both of 'em, Malcolm especially, helped Aporia feel welcome into the group, being a latecomer and all (and also like. the youngest of the four dfshghfg he's their pet college freshman he does tricks)

i like them sooooo much 🥺

#ygo posting #asks #m3m3shadow #5ds pizza au #paradox 5ds #antinomy #aporia 5ds #z-one #zone 5ds #ygoart #dana art #I HOPE THAT ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION!! honored touched thrilled that theyve been On Your Mind. mine too. every day :')#made myself a LITTLE EMO WITH THIS ONE!!! THEY WERE GOOD GUYS!!!! ;_; RIP

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doomandgloomfromthetomb · 1 year

Text

Johnny Be Good: A Film About Chuck Berry

I read and loved RJ Smith's Chuck Berry: An American Life last month. Like Smith's James Brown bio, it does a fairly incredible job at portraying an extremely complicated and contradictory man, giving us a more-than-convincing argument for his genuine genius without shying away from the genuinely unpleasant aspects of his character. An angel, a monster, an artist, a weirdo — an American life! It's to Smith's credit that through it all, the music starts sounding better and deeper than ever before.

"Extraordinary to think of the voodoo that happened when folks heard an electric guitar with their feet for the first time, flooding their spines, connecting them to every other spine in the barn," he writes towards the end. "Extraordinary, as well, to think about a human strong enough to invoke that state again and again, hundreds of times a year. It was a form of play from the start, your hands opening up spaces that radiated a shocking form of love, of wildness, of lawlessness within community. It was better than work, harder than work. Not work."

Smith mentions this documentary for the BBC Omnibus program, and it's definitely worth watching for its intimate interviews, rollicking live performance footage and general late 1970s midwest ambiance. "This was not an easy documentary to make," writes Mike Southon. "Berry is a difficult man who blows hot and cold without warning. Despite having to deal with his temperament the hairs still went up on the back of my neck the first time he ventured out onto the stage at a small town cinema where he was performing and those inimitable chords begun." After all of it, Chuck emerges as a total enigma, naturally, driving his enormous coffee-colored Cadillac through the streets of Wentzville, MO, all the way to the White House.

#chuck berry

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shojimezolovemail · 2 years

Note

May I please request platonic hcs (jackass) where neurodivergent!reader loves to infodump about their special interest and gets really happy and stims? Thank you! :)

(My special interest is primates and last week I got to see a Wooly Monkey AND a Golden-Cheeked Gibbon irl for the very first time - it was awesome! ASKSHSJS)

thank you so much for this request! sorry it’s taken me so long to get to it :”)

warnings: none!

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

johnny’s very supportive of anything you find interest in

you’re into primates? he’s amazed with the knowledge you have!

your hyperfixation is about something morbid? he’s dying to hear about it! (no pun intended)

he’s so impressed with how much you know and understand about these topics

johnny ends up passing on any information you give him to other people around him

which introduces more people asking you about your interests! how exciting

when you get super excited about a hyperfixation that you stim…johnny’s right there doing it with you

he’s an excitable person anyway so seeing you so happy just sets him off

STEVE-O

if you had an interest in animals in general, any information you share would be very beneficial during the filming of wildboyz

in fact, steve-o loves how your mind works so much that he essentially makes you apart of the wildboyz show to share facts and information

if anyone on the set tries to diminish anything you say, he’s on the defense immediately

“the fuck do you mean that my friend here doesn’t know what they’re talkin’ about?” “are you an all knowing god? no? exactly. let ‘em speak.”

if you get so excited to talk about something and you start stimming? he’s a little confused at first

“what’re you doing?” “oh, uh, i just got really excited. sorry.”

steve-o’s immediately assuring you that there’s no need to apologize

CHRIS PONTIUS

this other wildboy is immediately dragging you on any trio he takes for the show

he makes sure you’re as comfortable as possible don’t worry

you get nervous flying? he’s trying every remedy possible

chris lets you infodump at any moment in time by the way

he’s in the middle of a conversation with someone? he’s telling them to hold on so you can tel talk to him

he loves seeing you happily ramble and he’d hate to ever shoot that down

you have a specific interest in an animal? he’s buying you a plush of it anytime he sees one available

he’ll also always stim with you as well

he’s jumping and bouncing around with you

BAM MARGERA

this man basically has a hyperfix on HIM so he’s more than happy to embrace your interests

you could pour out the same information every time you spoke about it and he’d still be fascinated

even if it was something he’s not particularly interested in, he’s always very happy to hear you ramble

bam’s not very good at showing it though so there might be a need for some reassurance

if you ever get so excited that you stim, he probably won’t join in but more likely encourage it

he thinks it’s cute and will never stop you from it, no matter the place

you get excited to see an animal you enjoy out and about so you stim? incredible!

now, if someone says anything offhanded then he’s immediately on the defense

“the fuck is your problem? cant deal with a little excitement you fucking weirdo.”

then he’s being extra sweet to you so you know his change in temper wasn’t directed toward you

RYAN DUNN

ryan doesn’t quite understand the hyperfixation/special interest aspect but he’s supportive as long as you’re happy and safe

he’ll let you ramble as much as you’d like though

he loves seeing you happy

ryan will definitely engage with a lot of what you talk about too

“so… your favorite animal is really capable of all that? that’s pretty incredible.” or maybe a “i’m super impressed with your knowledge. you learn that all on your win too… i don’t think i could do that.”

the first time he sees you stim he’s very confused

doesn’t say anything about it just observes until you feel his stare and stop

“why’d you stop? you looked like you were havin’ fun.”

“you were looking at me weird, ry.”

“oh…sorry about that. didn’t know what you were doing.”

he’ll get you right back into a happy mood though don’t worry

DANGER EHREN

ehren’s another person who will engage in your interest

he’s always asking questions or trying to relate with information he knows about the topic

even if he doesn’t know much, he’s always trying rest assured

if it’s with animals or one specifically, he’s definitely giving you little doodles of them whenever he sees you

it’s not even that he’s artistically gifted, he just loves seeing you smile

when you stim, he asks questions about it

“so, you do that when you’re really happy?”

“mhm! it helps me get all my jitters out.”

ehren’s then stimming with you every so often because he sees how helpful it is

you start stimming halfway through talking about your interest and he grins a little

it’s very nice for him to see someone be so authentically themself

DAVE ENGLAND

another man who’s confused at first

he asks questions about the degrees of your interests though to better understand

“you like this one thing a whole bunch, right? so you like things a normal amount but then there are specifics that you like the most?”

“yes! it can change sometimes though. it really depends.”

dave’s always trying to tell you fun facts he learns about your interest so you feel like you can relate to someone

you might already know what he’s saying but it’s another excuse to talk more about it and he’s okay with that

he loves seeing you excited to tell him anything and everything he could wonder about

dave also fact checks with you if he talks about your interests, you’re an all knowing person on the topic in his eyes

him seeing you stim probably came from dave gifting you a book dedicated to your interest honestly

he thought it’d be a nice surprise but now you’re vibrating

dave joins it because he figures you’re just super excited

#jackass #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville #jackass headcanons #chris pontius #steve o #ryan dunn #bam margera #dave england #danger ehren

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britishassistant · 10 months

Text

Origin Stories (Don’t Get More Convoluted Than This)

“So why were you in a barrel?”

The firbolg walking alongside Nana makes an odd swallowing noise, and then begins coughing.

He rears away slightly, then begins patting down his many, many pockets. Trois-senpai drilled the importance of always having a hanky on hand into him in case of makeup malfunctions, messy meals, or a person in distress, so where is the damned—?!

“Ah, I’m fine, I’m fine!” The firbolg, who introduced herself fresh out the barrel as Ketsugi Mayu, holds up her hands. “Um, to tell you the truth, human-san, it’s rather…complicated?”

“Complicated.” Nana echoes, one hand still deep in the interior pocket of his gilet.

His fingers curl around the thin stiletto stashed in there.

“Complicated!” Ketsugi Mayu confirms, the tawny ears on the sides of her head twitching. “Although it does mean our meeting is very auspicious! Did you know, human-san, that when Luffy first appeared to Koby on the Grand Line, he too had sealed himself into a barrel to survive a whirlpool? For us to meet in the same way, it’s surely a good sign! Though, of course, Koby joined the Marines while Luffy went off to become the Pirate King and became comrades with Helmeppo—”

“Are you even saying real words right now?!” Nana interrupts.

“Of course I am!” Mayu is pouting now, an expression Nana has always thought looked slightly odd on those with more bovine noses. “This is important knowledge, you know! Understanding where Luffy and the others came from before they got their godly power levels is important to understanding their philosophies and living in accordance with their wishes!”

“Alright, alright.” He withdraws his hand from his pocket and scrubs at the back of his head, where the uneven fuzz has just begun to properly thicken.

Complicated. He can get that.

“I’m sorry for insulting your belief…system? Though seriously, please stop it with ‘human-san’, I told you, my name’s Johnny Powers. I’d rather you call me Nana.”

Mayu nods, eyes just as wide and guileless as the first four times he’d told her this. “Of course! And it’s okay, it took Na—my brother several retellings before he really got it. The StrawHats aren’t really the kind of people who’d hold something like this against you, either, so please don’t worry about anything on that end!”

This person, Nana decides, is a total weirdo.

Still, grasping at strings with this conversation, he tries. “You have a brother too? I’ve got a younger one myself. Are you the eldest as well?”

The firbolg’s long ears droop. He hadn’t even known that was even anatomically possible.

“I, ah, have two. Kind of.” Her eyes have lost most of their sparkle, looking more akin to those he sees in the fish on beds of ice at market. “They’re, they’re both older than me, though Le—the oldest is older by a year and the other one is only by a few months, so we’re both twelve. But we’re all different species, and we age at different rates, so technically I’m the most mature of all of us, you know?”

She stops in the street, fiddling with the long, bell-like ends to her sleeves.

Nana has to turn back and lean in slightly to hear, “…I miss them. I really want to see them again. My whole family. I wanna go home.”

“Hey, hey.” He hesitates, but puts a hand on Mayu’s shoulder. “I know how you feel. I, I miss my family too. But we’ll get you back to yours, and then I’ll get back to mine, and we’ll all live happily ever after, right?”

Mayu sniffs hard, peering up at him through her fringe. “…You’re sure?”

He feels his reassuring smile wobble slightly. “Uh. Yes? It’s been six months since I’ve last seen my family, but you know, I’m. I’m getting closer every day!”

The firbolg does not look reassured.

“Definitely going to be back with them before I turn fourteen.” Nana insists. “Definitely. One hundred percent.”

She somehow manages to look even more un-assured, if such a thing were possible.

Nana would be insulted if he couldn’t also hear the things that are currently coming out of his mouth.

As if to add insult to injury, his stomach takes the opportunity to loudly remind him that he hasn’t had anything to eat since the slice of flatbread he’d managed to scrounge up for breakfast yesterday, before he found a barrel with a firbolg inside it and all the port’s guards plus a much stronger assassin in a blank mask had shown up to try and murder him for it.

He takes a moment to mourn the loss of gainful employment. Sure, dock work wasn’t easy or pretty, but the feeling of having hard-won coppers in his pocket at the end of the day…he’ll miss it dearly.

“You’re hungry!” Mayu exclaims, startling him out of his reverie. “Wh-why didn’t you say earlier?!”

Nana holds up his hands, retreating a few steps. “I, I wasn’t hungry then? And it’s fine, really Ketsugi-san. I’ve…not much coin after paying off the stable, but I can keep going for a while yet. Just…please ignore any noises? They’ll stop after a day or so, I promise.”

For some reason, that makes her ears almost flatten against her head, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

“Right.” Mayu says, back straightening, head turning as though on a swivel. “Right, um.”

The firbolg pats herself down, as though her outfit (long top with oversized bell sleeves, thick fabric belt, leggings, leg warmers, and sandals) will somehow produce pockets from somewhere. The furrow in her brow deepens.

She clasps her hands together and mutters, not quite under her breath, “-ami guide my hands and take from the overabundant and undeserving, from the cruel and covetous, that I may provide—”

Despite leaving the docks behind them a full day ago, Nana’s nose picks up an odd, salty scent.

When Mayu lifts her head, her eyes have an odd, almost orange gleam to them.

“That one,” She says, absentmindedly, as she starts to make a beeline through the crowd.

Nana blinks for a moment, staring after her.

“H-hey, wait!” He calls as she marches towards a random man at a fruit stall.

A corner of his mind that he’s still struggling to fully shut off notes that this man has inconvenient, well-tailored clothing and soft, unblemished hands. Add to his lack of muscle mass, and there’s no way this person would be any kind of real threat in a fight.

And Mayu is brazenly reaching for the coin pouch tied to his belt.

“Whoa, hey!” Nana leaps forward, grabbing at the firbolg’s wrist. “The hell are you doing?!”

She’s likely not had as much practice sneakily grabbing things or slipping away as him, because Mayu immediately begins jerking and flailing to twist out of his grip.

One of her elbows goes flying and slams into the foppish man’s back.

With an indignant squawk, the man tumbles forward into the stall, crushing several crates of produce under him.

The pair of them share a glance.

Then they’re both turning on their heels and sprinting down the street as fast as their legs will take them, leaving the man and the stall owner shouting in their wake.

“I—thought—y’r—a paladin.” Nana accuses as they run.

“I am!” Mayu retorts, not even sounding out of breath as they slow their pace. Nana almost wants to hate her for that. “And that guy was chosen as someone I could take money from to buy ingredients to feed you!”

“Chose-?! What, what kind of god says stealing is okay?!” He cries.

“Pirate gods.” Mayu replies.

Nana has to take a moment to stare at her, mouth agape.

“Pi-pirate—” He sputters, “What—how—? You’re a pirate?”

Her face falls as she admits, “Not yet.” Like piracy is something that normal and decent people should aspire to.

Her ears flick back and Mayu clenches a fist. “But I will be someday! I’m going to follow the teachings of the StrawHats and sail the seas as one of the greatest pirate chefs ever, just you watch!”

He is torn between bursting into hysterical laughter and tearing his hair out.

Somehow he’s saved from doing both when a blur of grey and bright blue dashes between their legs.

“Outta the way, comin’ through!”

As he stares in confusion, the shape resolves itself into some kind of four-legged monster? He’d almost call it a cat, but the shape of the body and tail is wrong, and most cats he knows don’t have blue fire sprouting from their ears.

They don’t run on two legs clutching a small sack to their chests, either.

“GET BACK HERE GRIM, YOU LITTLE GREMLIN!!”

The howl comes from a horned person, charging after the monster with all the speed they can muster.

They look slightly too delicate to be a full orc, Nana’s mind notes as they barrel past, but their skin is too vivid a bruise pink to be many generations down the line. A tiefling, perhaps?

But then, where’s their tail—?

“TAKE THIS, FGNAH!!”

Nana can’t see what the monster does, but he knows that one moment the maybe-tiefling is dashing down the bustling street after their prey, the next they’re engulfed in a black liquid with a sharp yelp, tripping over their own feet and falling prone to the ground.

Even from here it smells noxious, and as he watches the odd liquid rapidly hardens where it’s covered the person’s limbs, reducing their wild flailing to furious twitches.

“Ha-HA!” The monster crows. “Yer still a hundred years too early t’be gettin’ one over on the Great Grim-Sama, y’know! See ya, minion~!”

It scampers off while the person screams, “SEE IF I GET YOU ANY NICE TUNA EVER AGAIN! GRIM! GET BACK HERE YOU FILTHY EXCUSE FOR A TANUKI!! GRIM!!!”

They seem like they’re well on their way to a full meltdown in public.

Nana winces in secondhand embarrassment.

That seemed…unfortunate. He’s almost curious about what’s going on there, but it doesn’t involve him. Nope. Does not involve him in the slightest.

And even if the maybe-tiefling is technically in trouble, what could he do? Go up and ask if he can help? No thank you. Last time he did that he lost a perfectly good job and got stuck with a pirate obsessed weirdo of a paladin. No, no. He’s learned his lesson. Look out for number one. It’s why he’s going to walk away any second now. He has to be his top priority, no matter what trouble others are in. It’s not worth—

“Hey, uh.” His treacherous mouth says. “Do you need some help getting out of that?”

—goddammit.

The tiefling(?) glares at him and grits out, “Don’t. That little idiot hit me with a tanglefoot bag, it’ll take ages to get this stuff off. If you really want to be helpful, go after that bag he stole, and don’t let the little shit eat anything in it.”

He blinks at the vehemence of their tone.

“Tiefling-san?” Mayu places a hand on his shoulder, stepping slightly between him and the trapped probably-tiefling. “My human friend wants to help and I’ll aid him, but we will require payment for this. My friend needs food, he’s hungry.”

“Wh—” He protests. “It, it hasn’t even been two days, it’s not that bad! Don’t treat this like I can’t look out for myself, I’m thirteen!”

Mayu stares at him, her ears flattening again.

“Th-thirteen?!” She splutters. “That’s—that’s so young for humans, you’re, you’re a baby! Where are your parents?!”

“No! It’s not! It is very much not!” He can feel his voice reaching screech levels no matter how much he doesn’t want it to. “Thirteen means teen! I am a teenager! Practically an adult!! Older than twelve at least!!!”

“No you’re—”

“ENOUGH!” The most-likely-tiefling roars.

The two of them (along with what few passersby weren’t already gawping at their little group) stop and stare.

“Get that damn tanuki,” The tiefling orders, eyes flashing murderously, “And I’ll pay you whatever you want.”

It’s really not hard to track the monster.

It’s caused a lot of havoc throughout what seems to be the business district, diverging very briefly back through the market (where the fruit stall owner is pocketing a very large bag of coin with an air of satisfaction), eventually wending its way to a very, very large tree in the middle of a square.

It’s not the tallest tree Nana’s ever seen, but it easily makes it into the top fifteen. Which, given that the fourteen above it in rank had all been in forests far from civilization, or enhanced by magic to serve as dwellings to various communities, actually speaks a lot to how huge this thing is. He can see where some of the middle branches have been pruned back from growing into the top floors and roofs of nearby buildings

Through the leaves, there are glints of the bright blue fire sprouting from the ears of the monster up in the highest branches.

“Hm…” Mayu is frowning heavily. “I’m…not good at climbing trees. The worst in my village, in fact.”

Nana rolls his shoulders and shakes out his arms and legs. “Well, that’s funny. Because back home, I was one of the best. You sort have to be, if you want to be acknowledged as an adult or a rogue.”

Despite his boast, he has a bit of trouble finding a good handhold at first. But once he finds a sturdy knot in the bark halfway around the tree, he’s proud to say that not only can he scale to the branches very quickly, but also near silently.

There a few moments when a twig snaps under his weight and he freezes, waiting for any sign that the monster has heard him.

But it remains oblivious, singing to itself between bites of an obviously pilfered fish.

As he gets closer, the words resolve into, “Mackerel, mackerel, tasty, tasty mackerel, goes so well with, tasty, tasty rocks~!”

Nana has managed to climb undetected to a branch above the one it’s sitting on when the monster shoves the tail of the fish into its mouth, chewing and swallowing with a satisfied sigh.

“Fgnah…that hits the spot!” It purrs to itself. “And now for dessert…”

It begins to root around in its brown burlap sack until it pulls out an odd looking stone.

It’s a dark grey and nearly smooth, with glasslike streaks of blue-white and greenish yellow running through it. Maybe it’s because of the dappled light of the tree, but Nana could almost swear that it pulses every so often.

“Down the hatch!” The monster cheers, head tilted back and toothy maw open wide.

What Nana means to do is quickly and cleanly snatch the stone from midair, maybe take advantage of the monster’s confusion to grab the bag as well.

What he actually does is try to grab the rock and fail miserably, his fumbling fingers sending it flying out of the tree.

“Huh—? My dessert!!” The monster cries. “Why you little thi—?!”

BOOM!

The explosion of light and sound rock the tree, as if a thunderstorm decided to materialize around its base.

Nana instinctively curls into the branch he’s hanging from, squeezes his eyes shut and braces his body against his temporary shield.

When he blinks away the stinging afterimages, the square is in disarray. Several people are on the ground, some hiding, others knocked down. Those who are further away looking around for the source of the commotion, but those who were closest to the tree are acting…weird. Whipping their heads back and forth like they’re trying to spot something, or shouting near-incomprehensibly.

At the base of the tree, Mayu has her fists pressed to her eyes and her head is tilting from side to side, long ears twitching sporadically. She might be making noise, but Nana can’t hear from this far up.

The monster is clinging to its branch, expression dazed. “Wha’s goin’ on…why’s it all gone dark…?”

Huh.

Nana unfurls himself slightly, and claps as loudly as he can.

Neither the monster nor Mayu respond. The monster doesn’t even look up at the movement, just facing towards where Nana was before…he guesses the stone did that? Unleashed all that light and noise?

No wonder the tiefling didn’t want the monster eating it. He’d hate to imagine what something like that could do in someone’s stomach.

As carefully as he can, he hangs upside down from his branch and gently eases the bag out from it’s precarious position pinned between the monster’s paw and the branch. It gets a little ripped from where one of the monster’s claws got snagged in it, but he hoists himself upright with his target clutched in one hand.

Peering through the hole he’s made, he can make out four or five more of those weird, pulsing, noisemaking rocks, two weird liquid-filled packet, and what might be coils of spiked steel wire?

He lets out a low whistle. Still, he’s got the bag, now to get ou—

“FGNAH!!” The monster roars, “GIMME BACK MY SNACKS, YOU LITTLE THIEF!!”

A gout of bright blue flame shoots between Nana’s legs, almost crisping his boots before he yanks them up and out of the way.

The long end of his gilet is not so lucky.

“Shit!” He tries beating out the fire before it can spread any further, but forgets that the skin of his hands is just as burnable as cloth. “Ow, FUCK!”

“HAND ‘EM OVER!!” The monster cries as it leaps for the bag in Nana’s other hand.

He lets himself go limp and tumble backwards and out of reach, stashing the bag in one of his inside pockets as he falls.

Nana hisses as rough bark catches on his burnt hand, but keeps folding and twisting and swinging down through the branches, until he has a clear view of where Mayu looks like she’s finally shaking off whatever the rock did to her.

It’s only her wordless yelp of warning that has Nana flipping off the branch he just landed on, as a burst of that blue fire engulfs it.

“GIVE ‘EM BACK, YA LITTLE BRAT!!” The monster howls, claws digging into the tree’s trunk.

“WE ARE IN A TREE,” He yells back as he dangles from a dangerously thin bough. “WHY WOULD YOU SET IT ON FIRE?!”

The monster looks momentarily confused. It glances upwards, at where some of its fire has almost eaten through the higher branches.

“Uh oh.”

Words cannot do justice to the sheer level of “I-wish-you-were-close-enough-to-throttle” that manifests within Nana’s soul at that proclamation.

Below him, he can just barely pick up on Mayu muttering something unintelligble, hands clasped together and head bent.

That salty scent from before, like he’s leaning over the edge of the docks and staring at the swelling of the sea below, that returns in full force. It’s pervasive to the point where the monster begins sniffing the air, twisting around to look with a hopeful peep of “Mackrel?”

“‘O Merry, give me a sea to sail together on, a sea of adventure, of freedom,” Mayu’s voice raises, reverberating oddly as though set against crashing waves and the screech of gulls. “Show us the might of the Grand Line! CREATE WATER!”

Nana had never considered what rain might look like if it fell all at once rather than in sensible, dispersed droplets.

And, he realizes as he watches the shadow of what could only be called a tidal wave loom over the top of the tree before it descends in a clamoring rush of liquid, he could have gone quite happily through the rest of his life never knowing.

The thin bough he’s dangling from does not keep him from taking the brunt of the deluge in the face.

As he hacks and coughs and tries to snort out where some water has gone up his nose, he hears Mayu call out, “Oh! Oh, sh—sugar, human-san, I’m so sorry! Are you alright? I just, I thought it was best to take care of the fire before anything fell on you!”

She’s not even wet. The water somehow has the audacity to land in a perfect circle around her, not even a drop on her weird orange leg warmers.

“Maybe wait until we get out of the tree next time?!” He yells back, not quite able to keep the hysterical edge out of his voice. “And I told you, don’t ca—!”

For the second time that day, he’s interrupted by a small grey blur streaking past him.

This time, the monster’s not so much running as falling, eyes shut and blue ear flames spluttering weakly.

He doesn’t even think.

Nana swings his legs up to propel himself off his precarious handhold like a diver, arms outstretched to snatch the monster’s limp, sodden body out of midair and crush it to his chest.

His legs snap out in a split and just manage to snag onto two branches of varying heights before he falls the remaining fifteen feet out of the tree.

He stifles a groan at the sudden strain.

Below him, Mayu lets out a little gasp. She gives a small burst of applause.

“Th-thanks,” Nana grunts out. “But, um, can you get a ladder or something? I don’t know how long I can hold—”

There is an ominous creak.

Nana closes his eyes and exhales out of his nose. It’s fine. It’s fine! So long as he doesn’t look at it, the lower branch he’s wedged his foot onto isn’t breaking, and he’s not gradually losing his foothold on the high brancher either! Just keep his eyes closed, and he can have all the time in the world to plan how to manage a crash land—

Crack!

Nana can’t help the involuntary scream that tears from his throat even as he plummets—!

Huh.

Usually hitting the ground and rebreaking his bones feels more…impactful than this?

“Nana, are you okay?!” Comes Mayu’s frantic voice. “I, you didn’t hit your head or something? Oh Luffy, I didn’t give you whiplash, did I?!”

He opens his eyes to see Mayu less than a foot away from his face. Her arms are crossed over her chest for some reason, hands clenched into fists by her shoulders. He’s somehow still dangling above the ground.

He cranes his head to look.

There are a pair of disembodied arms holding onto his legs.

A pair of disembodied arm that are growing out of and being clutched onto by more disembodied arms which have somehow sprouted from the tree trunk.

The scream Nana lets out at this sight is very much voluntary.

Mayu flinches, hands coming out of that weird crossed formation and reaching for him.

The disembodied arms vanish.

He topples into the firbolg behind him, driving them both into the dirt-turned-mud below.

“Let me guess,” He huffs when his body finally decides to let him make sounds other than pained groans. “More of your pirate gods?”

“Be nice to Robin!” Mayu whines as she rolls him off her and sits up. “I wasn’t sure if she’d let me call on her power to save you, y’know. She only intervenes when necessary.”

“You say necessary,” Nana says as he props himself up against the roots of the damned tree. “I’m hearing picky. Why do pirate gods even need, need detachable limbs in the first place?!”

Mayu puffs up again, “First of all, Robin has the ability to grow parts of her body from any visible surface, not detach them from herself, that’s Buggy’s power. Second—”

“This is the worst rescue ever, fgnah.” The monster grumbles in Nana’s lap. “Imma sue you both for interrupting my nice, peaceful lunch, y’know. This is endangerment of the Great Wizard Grim—”

“—Who is going to be answering to Crewel for stealing that modified trapping kit.” A familiar voice interrupts.

The three of them look up.

The tiefling stands over them, unpleasant, cracking stains on their clothes. Their glare pins the monster named Grim in place. “And you’ve clearly been spending too much time with Azul if you’re using language like that without any clue what it means. Want me to sell you back to him as a dishcloth? At least then you won’t be causing me or the guild any more trouble.”

“Yuu~!” Grim the monster whines, almost squirming out of Nana’s grip. “C’mon henchman, you wouldn’t really do that to me, wouldja?!”

Yuu the tiefling considers him before tilting their head. “You got me there. I guess I wouldn’t.”

Grim’s eyes begin to sparkle and his ear flames regain some of their spark. “Yuu—!”

The tiefling seizes him by the scruff of his neck. “Not if it meant I’d miss the fun of punishing you myself.”

“Fgnah! Abuse! This is abuse I tell ya!” The monster protests, wriggling in the tiefling’s grip. “I shoulda gone into retirement with Ace! He wouldn’t treat me like this! He’d—!”

“The Rose Kingdom historic monument.” Yuu says, abruptly.

The monster suddenly goes silent, eyes darting around. It almost looks sheepish.

The tiefling sighs. “Well, now that that’s dealt with, did either of you manage to save any of the wire or other tanglefoot bags before this gremlin ate them? I know the thunderstones are probably a lost cause—”

“Thunderstone?” Nana pipes up before he can help himself. “Is that what those pulsing rocks are called?”

The tiefling stops short, and tilts their head at him. The flashes of their eyes that he can see through their overgrown bangs are piercingly intense.

“Yes.” They says slowly. “That’s what those are. Don’t tell me you managed to get one of them?”

Nana reaches into his inside pocket and gingerly withdraws the bag he stashed there. He makes sure to keep it well out of Grim’s reach when he hands it over.

“One didn’t make it,” He admits, rubbing the back of his head. “It fell when I tried to grab it, and I think it might’ve hurt Mayu? I’m sorry about that, by the way, I wouldn’t have made it out of the tree without you.”

She shrugs. “It was an accident, the StrawHats have loads of them. But the important thing is Nana-san got the bag and he didn’t let monster-san eat any more of the rocks. Right, tiefling-san?”

Yuu looks up from the contents of the bag, eyes flickering from Mayu to Nana and back again.

The corner of their mouth curls into a wry smirk.

“I believe that was the deal we made.” They tie the bag with the stones to their belt and untie another.

Yuu counts out an indeterminate amount of coin into their palm, splits it, and push half into each of their hands.

“Hopefully this will get you some dinner and medical attention.” They say. “Now, the both of you, go home to your parents, or whoever it is who’s meant to be looking after you. You’re both too young to be wandering around unsupervised like this.”

Nana opens his mouth automatically to protest, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Mayu is doing the same.

“If you’re both still on the adventuring career path when you’re older, come see me at the Night Raven Guild.” The tiefling interrupts. “Ask for Yuu at the mission desk, and Grim and I might have some work for you. When you’re older.”

And with that, Yuu the tiefling turns on their heel and strides off, leaving the two of them to examine the reward for their mission.

Nana feels his eyes bulge out of his head.

These—these are gold coins. Actual, genuine gold, from the look of it. This can get him a bunk at any inn from here to the Hidden Continent, hell, may even be worth something to some of the denizens of the Feywilds.

From the wide-eyed look Mayu’s giving him, she’s received the same.

They both turn to stare after the tiefling arguing with the monster bundled under one arm, stomping back to what looks like a partially burning guildhall. It has an emblem of a crow over crossed keys above the door.

“Well. They were generous.” Is all Nana can offer.

“They were.” Mayu agrees. Then, “…We did a good job together, didn’t we? I mean what you did, with all the flipping and things…”

“It’s called acrobatics.” Nana retorts without heat. “But yeah, your. God, thing. It was handy. I’m not saying I’m a convert, but—”

“We made a good team?” Mayu suggests. “After all, not everyone has to think or do the same things to get along. It’s better if they don’t. Makes for a stronger crew.”

“I guess so. Yeah.” He agrees.

They slowly get to their feet.

“You know,” Mayu starts, as they wander back towards the market together. “Tiefling-san never said how much older we had to be before we went and asked them for another job. Just ‘older’.”

Nana considers this as he carefully flexes his burnt hand. Even if other jobs didn’t pay quite as well as this one, the idea of at least having a semi-steady flow of income… it’s an appealing one.

“I think,” He announces. “I feel much older and wiser than I did half an hour ago. How about you, Mayu-san?”

She beams back at him. “I feel positively ancient, Nana-san. What do you say we visit the Night Raven Guild as a two person adventuring team?”

Nana’s stomach grumbles again.

“…We’ll get you some food first.”

#my ocs #my writing #0307 #nanbaka nana #nana nanbaka #nana #ketsugi mayu #but i like one piece #twst yuu #villainous paranoiac yuu #this is the most self indulgent thing I will ever write #and i’m not sorry #dnd #I actually rolled dice for this

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