#john the fucking idiot

[jotunvali02]

See Johnny-boy, it's called a

✨✨FUNICULAR✨✨

It's right next to the stairs, it has NO assassins in it, it brightly SHINES at night so you can't just "miss" it and it opens at 6 a.m, the very hour your husband joined you at the base of these stairs.

now i think of it, Caine really is a son of a bitch for not telling him. Yeah "he's blind", bitch if he lives in Paris he KNOWS there is a funicular here, and someone must have told him at least once "sir, take the funicular instead of these stairs, it will tire you less".

#john wick #john wick chapter 4 #montmartre stairs #funicular #sacre coeur #paris #caine the bitch #john the fucking idiot #who has an unhealthy kink for stairs #sacré coeur

[sky-is-the-limit]

How the fuck is this all we get from Gaz?! The main character in the background, you cowards.

#i fucking hate yall #he looks better than all of your characters combined even blurry you idiots #how are you gonna put HIM in the back and not give him at least a scene where he is the main focus #yall aint getting my money if Gaz isn't present enough in the campaign #kyle gaz garrick #gaz #gaz cod #kyle gaz garrick smut #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #cod #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod x reader #cod smut #captain price #simon ghost riley #könig #john soap mactavish #ghost smut

[a-man-of-questionable-morals]

sloppy sketch of soap and gaz busting the door open to the safe house in the middle of the night and,, is that dynamite?

#kaboom #theyre fucking idiots your honor #call of duty #cod #cod fanart #art #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #gazsoap

[controversialcoven]

Day 4: earth C!!!!!!

#john egbert #dave strider #johndave #johndaveweek2023 #fankid #i guess #they’re fucking idiots

[forestshadow-wolf]

The tots/fry saga continues

@rainerestored I have nothing to say for myself. The tags are my argument... also yes I did have this conversation irl

Price, walking into the room: BREAKFAST EVERYONE! I got dunkie's

Ghost, the first to arrive: hashbrowns?

Price: *silently handing over a 2 sleves of dunkin' donuts hashbrowns*

Ghost: YES!

Soap: wha- bu-

Soap: how is that ANY different from tater tots!

Ghost, around a mouthful of hashbrowns: because they don't false advertise as fry adjacent!

Ghost: it's DIFFERENT!

#fuck tator tots #autistic simon ghost riley #tator tots #french fries #it's french fries not “chips” #abolish tater tots 2024 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john price #captain john price #idiot force 141 #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #soapghost #el rambles #incorrect cod quotes #incorrect quotes

[leathfaic]

price orders ghost to take vitamin d, because even in fucking mexico the man manages not to catch a single bit of sun on his skin.

when he finds out about soap and ghost having a thing soap just goes "more vitmanin d for him, eh?"

price is a very tired man.

#ghostsoap #soapghost #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #john price #they are idiots #but also for real if i'm vitamin d deficient then ghost is for sure #fuck pale as a ghost hes probably translucent #cod mwii

[fallout-fucker]

Random Sole x Hancock Headcanon - Emails.

Sole figures out how to get some sort of online connection up and running again purely so they can send emails to Hancock's terminal from their Pip-Boy whenever they're apart. Love sick idiots.

Cue Hancock blushing and kicking his feet whilst reading the emails. He invents the ;) emote. Sole, in turn, makes the ^-^ and :3 emotes.

They both invent selfies. Hancock's the first to send one when he realises he can send pictures. It's a fucking process but he barters for old parts here and there and gets help from Kent. Eventually he has a working camera for his terminal. The first selfie was him stood on his couch, high af and surrounded by an assortment of baked goods (Edibles) he made. The email said 'Look what I can do ;D'.

He regularly sends pictures of what he's baking or random selfies when he's high.

Sole then made a similar upgrade to their Pip-Boy the minute they could. They send him random pictures of cats and other creatures they see in their travels. Cool views or old, historic buildings and art they think he'd enjoy. A collection of Dogmeat being cute. They sent one of Danse falling over. They send him pictures of books they'll think he like. Usually literature, history, or STEM stuff. Sole also takes pictures with their shared friends and lets them email him too from their arm for a quick update.

They also show off their new builds and inventions. Gun mods, armour, ect.

They also share a 'Spotting Deacon In The Wild' collection. They have a running joke that every new disguise they spot is a 'Deacon Variant' or new Deacon 'Synth'. They add names for each 'character' and the email will say '[Insert Character Name] Deacon Unlocked!' Like, Butcher Deacon, or Diamond City Guard Deacon, etc.

On that note, they invent memes. Usually from pictures of other companions or each other.

Like when Nick was 'sleeping' one time (Wide eyed stare Synth style) and Sole sent a picture of him, captioned 'Me after the horrors'.

Or when Preston was stood looking out at the Sanctuary River after a long night. Coffee in his hand. His hat and one shoe missing. Expressionless as he stared at the sunrise.

Hancock replied 'Me fucking too, brother'.

Sole will update him on their whereabouts regularly so he stays sane.

Hancock will tell them about how Goodneighbour is doing. From Mayoral plans to general gossip. How Daisy is doing, how the local kids are, etc.

Sometimes Hancock sends the most cryptic chain spam looking things when he is stoned.

Sole can email him whenever they're nearby and plan on visiting.

Hancock sometimes requests items if he knows they’re on their way, but only if they happen to come across it or already have whatever it is.

Will email them questions that he doesn't actually mean for them to answer. Just questions to the void, really. He just uses them as an outlet for his thoughts a lot.

Or for help on a crossword puzzle.

Sole will email him when they can't sleep just in case he's also awake. Nights feel really lonely when everyone you knew died 200 years ago.

Sometimes they ask him for knowledge. Like 'Do you know if this plant is poisonous?' or things that most Commonwealthers know for survival, but Sole is still figuring out.

They ask him for leadership advise. Especially during big decisions.

They both tell each other things they've seen/heard through the grapevine that they think the other should know. 'I heard that guy you were looking for was seen in Bunker Hill' 'Some Gens 2s were spotted patrolling Medford Hospital' 'Hi :) Sorry for the late response, I was running for my life :( Tell your traders to stay away from the East Bridge- Gunners'

#Taking advantage of the fact they both canonly have devices on hand #They bring back wifi just to fucking send each other notes what idiots (I love them) #Do you think Sole ever goes to call him and realises phones don't exist anymore. #John Hancock you would've LOVED facetime #Hancock invents facetime in the Fallout Canon just to talk to his husband/wife #If Sole can have a radio tower for the Castle #Who's to decide what they can't do #They're both so smart but so dumb. They share one braincell and Dogmeat has it. #Fallout #Fallout 4 #Hancock #Sole Survivor #John Hancock #SoSu #Hancock x sole #Crack headcanon

[furiosophie]

#soapghost #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #cod mw2 #call of duty mwii #listen sometimes you run headfirst into a mission and get urself a little hurt #and then when you get back on base your lieutenant drags u into a dark corner #to tell you ur a fucking idiot #but that's just how it is #businesses as usual #also yes i know the height difference is off just imagine ghost is literally dragging soap off his feet #anyways the brainrot is so real rn u guys #soph arts

[cupiidskiss]

this is a very john clip

#rdr2 #rdr #red dead redemption 2 #john marston #jim milton #rachel the horse #stupid fucking idiot #love him tho

[locklylenerd77]

Why, oh why, did I turn to Sherlock, "that-show-with-those-gays-that-I-see-edits-of-every-few-months", hoping it'd cure my Aziracrow divorce depression?

#fuck queerbaiting #tf you mean they aren't canon #bbc sherlock #good omens 2 #good omens #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #give me aziracrow or give me death #ineffable idiots #aziraphale and crowley #sherlock holmes #sherlock fandom #johnlock #sherlock x john #i am sherlocked #help help help #i cant do this

[sampilled]

doing a lot of thinking about how scared sam was as a child

in the pilot we learn sam left hunting, not because he wanted normal but because he wanted safe.

in a draft of the pilot script, sam says he doesn't want to help dean find john because he "just stopped having nightmares" (obviously taken out because it would contradict later plot lines with sam having nightmares about jess dying but i wish they had replaced it with something similar because i think a lot less people would think of sam as selfish if we had got to hear it)

we also get this scene in 1x04

this is four episodes into the show! sam has been back in hunting for a month? maybe? and he is already having nightmares about the job again (and while dean tries to act tough, sam sees straight through him and knows that he's scared too)

hunting again is bringing back bad feelings that he thought he'd left behind but at this point, he is motivated to find his father and avenge jessica so he pushes through his fear, as a kid he didn't have these things to fuel him. he was just this sad lonely little child who was terrified out of his mind about all of the evil in the world that he should have been sheltered from!! terrified that his dad and his brother were going to be killed anytime they were out of his line of sight!!

in conclusion, i could've raised him, i could've kept him safe

#no cuz rip to john winchester but??? wtf was that? #if i was sam winchesters parent and a demon had a killed his mother in his nursery i wouldve looked into protective sigils and probably kep #an eye on his friends to make sure they werent... ya know... possessed???? #i get its just a weird writing thing it had to be this way for the plot but fr johnny boy u r an idiot #especially cuz i always thought he learned the demon was after sam from Missouri #“i went to misouri and learned the truth” and she clearly knew the demon was looking for sam in season 1 so #so like john has known since sam was a baby in my eyes and yet?? #he was letting him out of his sight? wow he really didnt give a fuck about him lowkey #no he loved him very much he was jsut dumb #sam winchester #supernatural

[wyllsravengard]

i really like jovier because i think making john with deal being a queer with all the other shit he has going on is sooo funny. javier is winning the idgaf wars about sexuality and john is losing MISERABLY

#z.gen #jovier #they make me laugh im ngl #i really think even in canon javier does fine with his being bisexual #its not really anyones business and sure he's not going around spreading it #but i really dont think he gives a shit #john is a nightmare though because of course he is. he is john marston #and its just. such a funny dynamic #it always makes me feel for javier though bc javier really likes john but john is a complete fucking idiot jhjfdkfdjg

[idiotwithoutagoodname]

Damn, Harlan really is putting his hole Guthrussy into this episode, huh?

#I mean his performance is always impecable but like holly shit #the raw genuine emotion and awkwardness of Arthur and Oscar interacting #and mean while Arthur and john going at each other with all their pent up emotions and concer for and of each other #justttt damn #I’m just in the first 10 mins but fuck is it a good ep so far #john doe malevolent #arthur lester #oscar malevolent #malevolent #malevolent pod #malevolent podcast #unhinged aromantics doesn’t even star to cover the mess this 3 idiots are going to become ffs

[darkimpala1897]

Bucky being Bucky is always winning something from his stupid bets, this time it was a cow and they were putting it in Kidds office as a prank.

Hambone: "You know, it shouldn't be unhappy, because I just milked her."

Bucky just blinks at him making sure he heard him correctly.

Bucky: "Him. You just milked him."

Hambone: "This is a him?"

Bucky: "Was it one udder?"

Hambone: "Yeah."

Bucky: "Yeah, that's not an udder, Ham."

Hambone: "I was gonna say, it was actually kinda weird. It was really big and I had to use two hands. It didn't..."

Bucky: "Please for the love of god stop. We will never discuss this again."

Hambone: "That'd be great."

Blakely who was on watch: "Jacks coming!"

Both Hambone and Bucky take off, Blakely chases after them.

#incorrect quotes #masters of the air #john bucky egan #howard hambone hamilton #everett blakely #fucking idiots

[nutluvs]

john marston is the type of man to call himself the "alpha" of the ranch and everyone begs him to stop but he doesnt because thats just him. hes an idiot.

#john marston #john marston rdr2 #rdr2 john #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #i love him but hes such a fucking idiot #nut's random rdr2 posts 🪻

[crimsgrims]

mfs will be like "killing is distasteful" then make a hallway where it straight up just fucking shoots someone and then acts like it was the dead guys fault

#i hate murderers #saw 2004 #saw #saw movies #obviously about john kramer #vut lkke ohhhh my god #i thought ot was so sTUPID #yhat hewas all okke and then woild go and ACTUALLY MURDER PEOPLE #john is so fucking pathetic #i should make that a tag #from now on I shall tag all posts about john being q oathetic idiot witht hat tag