#z.gen

[wyllsravengard]

have a very hot take on the concept of colonizer romance in fiction but alas. i shant say

#z.gen

[ravengards-rogue]

EYE miss wyll

#z.gen

[wyllsravengard]

there's a lot of discussion and speculation about the fact john doesn't speak of arthur in rdr1. logistically it's not hard to understand that rdr1 just came out years before rdr2 and thats why but . But.

but when you think of rdr1 with the additional context two, there is something quite... in line with john trying to forget arthur. wanting to. or burying him. not just in metaphor or in soil but in his memories and in some way failing to do it but in another succeeding

you think of john and his commitment to his son and wife and you think of his willingness to do anything for them. moral or not. righteous or not. and you think of the fact that john didn't know at the time the sort of man arthur believed him to be, but he perhaps modeled himself in the image of his older brother. near incidental. he has so little in common with arthur really. john's broody and lacking remorse and at twenty-six he's inconsiderate entirely in a way arthur never was.

but time is a thief and one day, he turns 38. he's older than arthur when he dies. and john doesn't remember well what he looks like, and all he can feel when he thinks of arthur is grief. grief that never ends. thats the thing about all of it, you'll realize - is that john knows arthur best in the retroactive.

the sort of complicated, odd man arthur was revealed to him in the creases of pages and keepsakes. in the carving of his guns that john finds after arthur is gone. in the ring of the woman arthur loved long ago. in the confessionals to his son isaac and the regret in the letters he wrote to their psuedo father. you realize john knows more of arthurs stagnant ghost that can't guide john into manhood the way he so desperately needs. and it's all he has to go by to make a man of himself.

john never finds out what kind of man arthur believed him to be and he has to infer the real good man arthur was. in grief there is love. john loved arthur enough to want to be like him. and in burying the living, breathing man arthur was he's forced to cling to his spirit. has to piece together the kindness of his older brother through memories and diary entries and secondhand stories. and that's how he models himself in rdr1 to me. where arthur is moral john becomes dutiful and where arthur is kind, john is helpful. he becomes the shadow of arthurs best qualities. he can never be arthur. no one could ever be arthur, even if arthur had given them the page by page instructions of how to do so. this is all he has. all he knows. all he can do.

john misses his brother. so he tries to embody him. but he can't really in the same way he can't grieve him. so he makes a home for arthurs ghost to return to in himself. john never mentions arthur because it dregs up painful what-ifs, but they share so many mannerisms and bastardized qualities. john has fashioned himself based on those loose memories.

one day, a stranger meets john and says. "why would you remember me, friend? you've forgotten far more important people than me" and john will remember all the ghosts he's ever loved briefly. there will be a blurry face and a forgiving voice and it will sound like a memory and it will linger in johns ribcage like a moth. and john won't remember. he won't. he can't. he buried his brother without ever doing it.

john says a lot of things. feels a lot of things. he shoots his gun to the stranger who calls his memory into question and the thing jams and the bastard roams free. john will taste blood in his mouth. he'll feel a cough in his lungs and well, he won't remember his brother still. buried men must stay buried.

of course. of course john never mentions arthur. he can't remember him, even though he's inherited so much of his manner. to speak it of him would be admitting to his existence. its admitting: i miss you. im sorry. it was my fault.

of course john never mentions arthur. he's made all this effort in forgetting him that even when his body and his gesture and his character betray the fact he's forgotten - his mind will soothe the pain and blur out his face.

and instead of remembering in life even once, he'll die the same way arthur did. alone. protective. contented. redeemed. john loves arthur like most brothers do - with muscle memory.

even if john cuts the necrosis of arthurs memory off of him, his body will twitch at the phantom feeling of his existence. john remembers even when he can't. arthur his only brother. the most important man he's ever forgotten.

#z.gen #arthur morgan #john marston #rdr1 #rdr2 #rdr1 spoilers #rdr2 spoilers #im feeling soooooo miserable about them you wouldnt believe

[wyllsravengard]

i need to have sex with him that makes him feel the most shame and guilt he's ever experienced

#z.gen #HE IS SO HOT AND MATURE MY GODDFGGFDJKJFDKFDJGKJFDKJGFDNJK

[wyllsravengard]

mutuals i know you don't know arthur morgan and a lot of you never will but i really need you to know how Moving and Compelling the cowboy game is like im being deranged of course and i do hyperfixate so often but arthur morgan is such a well written character he has such an amazing arc and genuinely it makes me sick thinking about him for more than a single minute. his entire story is based in this inevitable doom and its obvious from the beginning of the game that things are starting to go wrong. you learn about arthur slowly, and at the start - he's exactly the kind of man and protagonist you expect. he's cold and he's uncaring at least seemingly and he's awkward and he's badass and what every man who plays a game like this would want. but then he isn't. you start to play the game and you look at arthurs journal and you get to see him introspect and you get to view the sort of tenderness he sees the entire world with. he is so tender he is so thoughtful he is so considerate of nature and he takes so many things to heart. he has something to say and introspect of everyone he meets. he cares deeply about this world he's in and struggles so much to find a place with in. he admonishes himself and praises characters like charles who seem to be so good naturally. he believes deeply in his own evil and acts on, and he has a code sure - but he never feels good about what he does and it causes him such deep strife. he clings onto the life he has because its all he knows. being an outlaw is all he has ever known of himself, been like that since he was fourteen. just a boy and the two men who adopted him into his gang. he clings so desperately onto this belief that even when things fall apart, all arthur can hope for is that he can save those he cares about. its what he has always wanted deep down. its who he is which is someone who is sensitive and careful and wants deeply to live in a good world and be apart of a good world. the gang falls apart and everything goes to shit and where does that leave arthur? when young men and good men die? the man he admires as his father dies and whats left of them becomes the worst version of himself and so arthur, after all of this time, becomes his own man. at some point, he realizes what matters most to him is his brother and the woman he has a child with. and he realizes that he is simply afraid but what of exactly? of believing that he was good all along. of accepting that he has changed and that he was always good. its all so very complicated and shit starts to go down hill so quickly and just when you think it can't get worse - arthur goes to the doctor. hes sick. its tuberculosis. ailment that he received when he beat a man who couldn't pay his debts and committed a sin so great. arthur is going to die. he's sick. its not a bullet that will kill him but the weakness in his body. the same thing will happen to him in some crazy tragedy. arthur will give his life up for john and he won't regret it. he'll tell the shell of his father figure that he gave up everything for him. he will die alone in the mountains and see a stag bathed in yellow gold. but he will believe in goodness at the end because of a nun in saint denis and the woman mothering his little brothers child. he will believe deeply in the kindness of the world because he chooses to. arthur will die because he is doomed to die. there's nothing he can do except go, and he will never live to know what an impact he had on those around him. every life he's ever touched so profoundly effected by him and he never gets to find out. the man he used to admire so much, charles, buries arthur somewhere where the sun always rises. even in death he haunts the world of the game like a ghost. arthur morgan is dead and you'll hear him every where you go. john inherits his dead brothers journal and his guns and everything else and he learns a side to him he never knew. arthur morgan is dead and the world rippled in his absence like a drop of water pulsing through a lake. and he loved. most of all he loved the people around him. he loved.

#z.gen #arthur morgan #rdr2 spoilers #I HAVE TO KILL MYSELF

[wyllsravengard]

its so crazy seeing a man built like a matchstick pull down his pants and seeing a third leg

#z.gen

[wyllsravengard]

astarion being begrudgingly swept off his feet is so banger to me and i think what the root of all of his most popular ships are

#z.gen #wyllstarion #like them especially #but also astarion and karlach #halstarion #so on and so forth #i think thats also why him and shadowheart are less popular as a pair #wnd the fac they are both massively needy. but i digress

[wyllsravengard]

you just know in a modern au jack comes home with a bunch of homework. like just basic ass arithmetic. he tries to ask john. john makes a comment telling jack not to underestimate his dear old dad. one look at the timestables portion and its all over. john marston, retired gang member, defeated by multiplication. embarrassing

#z.gen #john marston #rdr2 #jack marston #john is so bad at math. in my heart i know this

[wyllsravengard]

durgewyll is so sicknening i cant like. its just durge being like im rotten im vicious im sick im sick and nothing can cure me and wyll being like i love you i love you i love you even when im not supposed to. how can i be normal in these conditions.

#z.gen #durgewyll

[wyllsravengard]

i want chew him like hubba bubba and blow bubbles i want to smack him against a wall like those sticky hands i want to put him in a blender on high and turn him into goop i want to throw him into the ocean i want to put him in a mason jar and not poke holes in the top i want to put him in those laffy pulling machines i want to whip him on high with a hand mixer

#z.gen

[wyllsravengard]

i feel like i only ever post about this but i am almost always thinking of the details of wyll's life post his exile. he spent seven years on the sword coast but what was he doing exactly? how long did he spend alone, thinking quietly of the life he couldn't go back too? how long before he started to miss his father to the point of his painful? like. it always frustrates because seven years is not short time in a human life. wyll was seventeen when he left. he became the blade of frontiers while serving mizora. what did he experience? what did he suffer? who did he meet in that time? it must've been so lonely and so desolate at the start, while wyll held onto hope and promise to protect his home. the sword coast was the only thing he had left for him. like its so

#wyll ravengard #bg3 #z.gen

[wyllsravengard]

you hear rin has never accepted vday chocolates so you go "ah i guess you don't want mine then" and you can see his heart fall out of his ass. he doesn't actually say he wants them just tugs at ur sleeve

#z.gen #hes silly....

[wyllsravengard]

many many many of the mutuals

#z.gen

[wyllsravengard]

mouse dead in gluetrap, colorized(1899)

#z.gen #arthur morgan #this image is so funnhifgfllfdn

[wyllsravengard]

jovier feels so fucked up when you think of red dead one. its like. for javier its like - john was never his all the way was he? not ever. he had a boy and a wife and javier listened to him while he drank and bitched about her. and he loved him that whole time more than likely. john loved him back like a secret. javier back then was so used to being shrouded he let it happen. it contributed to his sense of loneliness. his isolation, ingrained so deep into his psyche. and it makes you wonder why javier stayed back. if it was loyalty to dutch or if it was knowing there'd never be any real place for him with john. or any of them, really. you start to wonder if javier flees back to his homeland and tries to forget about it all. he goes back on his ideals much like he's given up on all of it.

and that's the thing too, when they meet again. john goes back on his ideals because he has a family to protect. if it means working with the law, instead of against them - then thats fine. but javier goes against his ideals for what exactly? and then its like. how bitter. how bitter that must feel, must have felt to see john and know deep down why he was there and feeling that immense sense of loneliness in his capture. javier asks john to let him go, and john does not. javier uses the word brother where another word should be. you don't have the heart to kill me. and please don't let me die like this. in some way they feel like confessionals.

the ghosts of hope and love long discarded. we loved each other once long ago. you made this of me. and i blamed you, and i still blame you for all of it. you wonder what john felt. both choices, to kill javier or to not - you imagine they're both forms of mercy. die by my hand because i loved you. die at the rope because i can't bring myself to kill you. in all cases my love will bury you a second time.

#z.gen #jovier #cowboy game... save me sad cowboy game #rdr1 #its so . like theyre so

[wyllsravengard]

like its genuinely inexcusable what they're doing to wyll. they've had six patches and not a single one of them has addressed the overwhelming issues with his central story arc. wyll is duke ravengards son. there is zero reason he is not as relevant to act three as shadowheart is to act two or lae'zel is to the game overall. his father is the duke of the city all of the third act takes place in. he grew up there as a noble. in what universe is it justifiable that this is the state of his story (an origin companion, someone you can play as an avatar) has this little expansion or game content in genral. his own quest (i.e. ansur) is about that fuckass illthid freak and not about him. at what point do people draw the line. even if you dont gaf about wyll, how can you possible justify or excuse this blatant racism? its unbelievable. and the responses to the very justified criticism of larian studios because of it has been even more depressing.

#z.gen #larian critical #wyll haters including larian fuck yourself