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chowyunnafat · 2 years

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Le Grand Bleu (Part 3)

le grand bleu (part 3) 💙

alt. title: everyday is like friday

•••

If you asked Jannine how she got through the rest of the day; she was still figuring it out herself.

The first two classes were lecture (she’d sat in the very back, leaned back, and eyes closed), and the third class was a lab she’d already done because she’d taken the time to redesign her dress-form the afternoon before. Instead of sticking with its typical white, she opted to incorporate a bit of cotton and tie-dye (but not too much).

Taking a sip of water (she’d been alternating between water and honey tea), and laying down on her bed, her thoughts went back to BamBam. She could only sigh and turn to face the wall.

At least he’d given her a hangover remedy; she hadn’t known a remedy at all before she searched online.

She twisted loose strands of her hair around her finger, angry at its representation of naivety and ostracize-linage.

The blue still hadn’t washed out of her hair. But Jannine had learned how to wear it to the best of her ability.

Ever since the party, life on campus was a 5 at best. She wasn’t happy, but she wasn’t sad either. She just held onto the letters that lead her down this path.

“Kunpimook,” She muttered. “Where are you?”

Of course, there wasn’t a response for her then. Just the silence that seemed to inhabit the dorm room.

The grip on her purpose was slipping the further she concluded that this university life just wasn’t for her. As much as she’d like to think she was big and bad and unstoppable.

Perhaps, she wasn’t.

As any good Leo (her zodiac sign), she was a great actor.

Before she could Google the best ways to drop out of a college you just got accepted into, she received a notification on her phone.

PunPun: Some guys are asking about you.

Jannine: Srsly? Who?

PunPun: BamBam and these two other guys 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jannine: Definitely keep me uninformed then. I don’t want to hear anything regarding that jerk and his friends!

PunPun: Okay. Then I definitely won’t tell you how they bribed like half the “first floor” girls to come into your room in the middle of the night and cut your hair off.

Jannine: What?! 🤬

PunPun: You don’t have a roommate. So, it makes their job easier.

Jannine: Can I stay wit u?

PunPun: I don’t live on campus. I live with my parents. I just sometimes crash at my cousin’s dorm room.

Jannine: Who’s your cousin?

PunPun: Umm…May?

Jannine: Instead of lying. Just tell me to get a life. I’ll figure this out by myself. Bye. 😡

Sticking her cell phone in her pocket, she rushed to the door. But already she could hear voices out in the hallway asking for the “new girl in D59.”

Throwing on a hoody, Jannine took her book bag and threw in a couple more essentials. She then slung the bag over her shoulder and attempted to climb out of her window.

“Crap. That seems like a long way down,” She whispered. Before she could hesitate any longer, the footsteps grew louder. And she stepped her foot onto the small balcony. There was very little room, but so far she hadn’t slipped or fallen. Straddling the rails, she put her hand on top of the railing as she placed her foot further down on the next level closest to the ground.

“Where’d she go?” She could hear the small mob of girls ask. “I thought the room was D59.”

Perspiration dripped from her forehead as she gripped her book bag.

Jannine didn’t dare look down. If so, she wouldn’t have had the guts to do what she did—

“Shit!” She cursed. “Shit shitty shit!”

She knew her ankle’s lifespan was just reduced by 5 years. In the future, when she was sitting in a rocker sipping on prune juice; she would be complaining about an arthritic ankle.

But she limped like a champ.

“There she is!”

Jannine stopped and turned around. At the door and on the balconies stood apparent BamBam admirers.

“There she is!” They pointed at her, and gave her the stank eye.

Jannine ran like a champ as she heard the stampede of girls behind her. She ran so fast she couldn’t recover enough to grab her other Fila shoe.

Almost out of breath, with her ankle still throbbing, she dipped into the school’s lobby. Fearing they’d see her through the windows she ran into the nearby bathroom and locked it from behind. She rested her back against the door and closed her eyes; her breathing still heavy.

When she opened her eyes and regained her breath, she turned around and came face to face with Milli and her gang.

If Jannine had known this is where she would end up, she would’ve gladly let the stupid fan girls have her for lunch. Because this was beyond ridiculous.

“I think this makes a good venue for a fight,” Milli said with a smirk and arms crossed. “Doesn’t it?”

Jannine had been dragged to one of the offices. And now she was literally cornered.

Jannine rolled her eyes. “Why?”

Milli smirked. “Why what?”

“Why go through all this trouble?” Jannine asked. “To fight me?”

Milli and her followers laughed. Until Milli held up her hand and told them to “shut up!”.

“Simple,” She stated. “You are on my territory.”

Jannine laughed. Belly and all.

Apparently, Milli didn’t find it funny at all. She made a trill with her lips.

“Girls,” Milli said in a demanding tone. “Give me the scissors!”

Jannine’s eyes widened. “I thought you wanted to fight me?!”

Milli smiled devilishly. “No. This is much more fun.” She took the scissors from a follower, and pointed them at Jannine. “Not only will you have horrible blue hair. But a kitchen-drawer-scissors haircut to boot.”

Jannine looked for an exit, but one of Milli’s followers blocked her path. She backed away slowly and bumped into another follower. “Luh.”

Milli began to walk towards her. “When you first stepped foot here you just looked like fresh meat.”

“What did I ever do to you?” Jannine asked, swatting away a followers hand, when they attempted to hold her down. “I did nothing to you.”

The bully laughed, and shook the scissors in her hand; the handle swung back and forth.

“Does there always have to be a reason?”

Jannine could say no more. It would all be for naught anyway. After all, there was only two people on this camp that regarded her highly, or at least didn’t want to eat her for lunch. Yet, 98 percent of the campus population wanted her dead.

Maybe Kunpimook wasn’t here. Maybe he was long gone, and she was betting on a losing dog.

Defeated, Jannine didn’t struggle anymore. She closed her eyes, prepared to have her hair whacked off, when Milli’s followers suddenly let go of her, and Milli took off in a run. Jannine’s eyes opened, and she looked all around her. “Huh?”

“You musta done something to really tick her off,” A voice said.

Campus Prince, BamBam, stepped forward with his rich boy swag. He donned a light sweater, white slacks, and a pair of sneakers. His grin was smug, and his hands were in his pockets. Was he wearing a Rolex?

“Xi ngo?!”

“Don’t think I did this because I don’t dislike you anymore,” BamBam specified with a bit of snark. “I just don’t want to be left to clean the mess hall by myself.”

Jannine’s smile turned into a frown. “Well, thanks to your angry fan girls I can’t go back to my dorm and sleep.”

BamBam raised a brow. “You’re blaming me for why you got booted out from your dorm?”

She pointed down at her red swollen ankle. “I’m blaming you for this too.”

He rolled his eyes at her injury. He then grabbed her hand.

“Luh, luh!” She protested. “I wasn’t being that ser—“

He stopped walking, and her mouth bumped into his collarbone.

“You don’t want to fail gym class, right?” He asked in annoyance.

“Gym class?”

He laughed.

“Yeah. Gym class.”

Jannine’s eyes narrowed. “I didn’t pick that as an elective.”

“It’s mandatory for all first years.”

Jannine sighed, but said, “No. I don’t want to fail stupid gym class then.”

BamBam nodded with a smug facial expression. “Then come with me. You need to have your ankle looked at.”

He then picked her up and swung her over his shoulder. “C’mon. We’ll see what a friend of mine can do to help your ankle heal.”

Jannine opened her mouth to protest, but it wasn’t lost on her that BamBam picked her up and threw her over his shoulder like a typical Tuesday.

So, she stayed quiet for awhile, wondering if the foreign teacher with the stick would pop out of the bushes. Yet, that never happened. “What are you here for?” BamBam asked. “Language?”

“No,” Jannine replied. “Fashion. Costume design.”

“Really?”

“Yeah?” She said back. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I’m not that surprised,” BamBam replied with. “I just didn’t think it was something you’d be so sure of.”

“So, you think I came here to fuck off?”

“No. Wait, did you?”

She hit him on the back, and he winced in result. “No, khun.”

He laughed a little. “Well, I guess that just makes one of us.”

Before she could respond to his comment, a guy came from the school’s med bay, opened the door to the building and walked out quickly; alert and curious.

Jannine perked up, speechless. Despite wearing glasses, the doctor-in-training wore them well. They framed his face nicely, complementing his comma hairdo, along with his lips and kind eyes. So entranced, she failed to process what BamBam was indicating for her to do.

“Do you want me to throw you on the ground?!”

Jannine snapped out of her crushing, and frowned at BamBam’s words. “Mai?”

“Bam, don’t be like that,” The young doctor said. “You seem to act like this towards the cute ones.”

Handsome Doctor-in-Training thought she was cute?

BamBam laughed sarcastically and replied with, “Nah. Her hair’s blue!”

The Handsome Doctor laughed with a knowing glint in his eye. “I find it attractive. It makes her stand out. Like a blue rose in a bouquet of red ones.”

BamBam’s hold on her tightened, but Jannine failed to notice, and gave the handsome friend an even brighter grin.

“Jinyoung,” BamBam groaned. “Are you done for the night, or can you actually help her?”

Jinyoung apologized to Jannine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk to you like you weren’t there, but my Thai is really bad.”

Jannine shook her head in disagreement. “No. It’s actually really good. But if you prefer speaking in English, that’s fine too.”

The young doctor smiled. “Kob khun.”

•••

“It’s not a severe sprain,” Jinyoung said as he examined her ankle. “But you’ll need to ice mornings and nights. During the day, just move it in a circular movement, and don’t overcompensate by limping. Try walking as naturally as possible.”

Jannine nodded. “Ne.”

Jinyoung lifted his head up in surprise. “Omo?”

Jannine laughed. “That’s probably the only Korean word I know.”

Jinyoung laughed too, patting her calf good naturedly, until they heard a loud and obnoxious fake laugh from yours truly.

“Is something the matter Bam?” Jinyoung asked with a raised brow, his smile holding a bit of a challenge. “Do you need a drink of water? Cough drops?”

BamBam took a hand out of his pocket, and looked at the Rolex watch on his wrist. “It’s getting late. You know who patrols at night. Your father.”

Jinyoung’s face was one of annoyance. “You know I’m not related to that ass— I mean, person. Because he and I only share a namesake out of coincidence. And I’ll write you two a pass.” He stood up from the stool, giving Jannine an apologetic look.

Jannine nodded. “Thank you Jinyoung.”

As the doctor exited the room, Jannine smiled and sighed. He reminds me of a Disney prince, She thought to herself.

“He has a girlfriend back home.”

Jannine rolled her eyes. “And you’re telling me this…?”

BamBam shrugged. “To let you know he’s off limits.”

Jannine rolled her eyes again. “Whatever. I’m going back to my dorm.”

“No you aren’t.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“No you aren’t.”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” She snapped. “I’m going now.”

BamBam guffawed dramatically, with his hands in his pockets. “Okay. But you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

She picked up a medicine utensil nearby, and threw it his way. He missed the pointy object barely, and he didn’t look impressed. “Are you kidding me?!”

Jannine smirked. “What?! It was on accident?” She crossed her arms under her chest.

He took some hand sanitizer in a spray bottle and pointed it towards her.

Jannine’s smirk went away.

But just as his finger pressed on the trigger, Jinyoung walked back in. “BamBam,” He scolded. “Stop playing around. I swear you still act like a kid. Gimme.”

As BamBam handed his friend back the container of sanitizer, Jannine gave him a mischievous smile as she wiped the disinfectant off her shirt using her hand, Jinyoung’s back turned to Jannine.

BamBam glared briefly, but didn’t say anything. He’d get payback, but Jannine would definitely be on the look out.

Yet, as Jinyoung gave her a wipe and a glass of water and was getting ready to walk out, he told both of his peers, “I’m sure you both can see your way out.”

But BamBam spoke. “Wait. Jinyoung, can she stay here until the morning? All the girls in her dorm hate her.”

Jannine’s eyes widened briefly, but she hung her head down; she was a tad embarrassed. Yet, Jinyoung replied with airily, “Sure. I don’t mind. Um. Let me find some spare clothes.” As Jinyoung went to do just that, Jannine still stared down at her lap embarrassedly. Yet, she muttered under her breath, “Thank you.”

BamBam wasn’t going to make it easy for her. She should have known that. “I’m sorry, can you say that again? I didn’t hear you.”

Jannine mumbled her thanks again.

“Jannine,” He said too brightly. “How am I supposed to hear you if you keep your head down? Sheesh.”

“Thank you, okay?” She said with annoyance. Due to the annoyance, she unintentionally projected her voice a bit better. “Gosh. Happy?”

BamBam gave her a small smile that made her double back.

Even though he’d given her a big, fake, and sarcastic grin a couple minutes ago, she didn’t notice how much of a difference it would be when he gave her a smile that softened his features as his eyes had a bit of a twinkle in them almost.

Before she could even think to remember it, the moment was gone when Jinyoung entered back into the room to give her some spare pajamas.

“This is a leftover of the old gym outfits ten years ago,” He said. “So, they might seem a little outdated.”

Jannine took her eyes off BamBam and looked at his friend. “No. Not at all. Thank you Jinyoung.”

He smiled with a nod. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be in the very back studying; pulling an all-nighter.” He turned and looked at his friend with a knowing look. “And you need to go back to the dorms. Teacher Park will catch you and report you to the headmaster.”

BamBam tch-ed. “You can’t do all-nighters here,” He said matter-of-factly. “What if Park decides to do his rounds here?”

Jinyoung sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “BamBam if you wanted to spend a night here as well, all you had to do was ask.”

Instead of confirming Jinyoung’s words, he said, “Admit it, you only pull all nighters because of Sister So-min.”

Jannine saw a bit of red make it’s way onto Jinyoung’s face. But he simply said to BamBam, “Stop deflecting. You know where to get the spare clothes.” He gave Jannine a bow and exited with BamBam falling behind him.

She shook her head at BamBam’s antics.

She then took out her phone and saw a message from Lisa:

Hey. Are you okay? One of my roommates said you jumped from the balcony. 😢

Jannine replied:

I’m okay. I’m actually staying at the school medic bay tonight.

Lisa:

Really? Why? Are you really okay?

Jannine:

I sprained my ankle. No biggie.

Lisa:

I’m glad you’re okay besides your ankle. See ya in the morning.

Jannine:

Khob Kun.

•••

As Jannine settled into one of the beds, BamBam came back in donning the Hnung Uni’s early 2010s gym uniform AKA “pajamas substitute”.

She turned to face the wall, simply telling herself that this would never be happening again (a one time occurrence) and he’d still act like a jerk the next day.

Yet, she did go ahead and ask a question that’d been bugging her for the last couple hours.

“Why’d you tell all the girls in the dorm to haze me in the middle of the night?”

“What are you talking about?”

She laughed as though she were calling him out on his bullshit. “You told all the girls in the dorm to come into my room in the middle of the night and cut my hair off.”

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about, khun.”

Jannine turned around to face him. “Whatever. I suppose you felt guilty. That’s why you’re being half-way decent.”

He sat on the bed on the other side of the room. “I don’t care if you don’t believe me. I don’t even know your dorm room number.”

She let out a huff. “I can’t think of it being anyone else but you and your friends.”

BamBam laughed as though, this time, he were calling her bullshit. “I’m sorry to say it, but I don’t think a lot of people like you here.”

Jannine could feel the onset of tears, her face warm. But she put on an air of indifference. “So what? I deserve to be here like everyone else,” She replied with false-confidence. “And I haven’t even been here a full week and you can determine my social rank already?”

Surprisingly BamBam appeared to not have a ready response. As he settled into the bed, he looked up at the ceiling.

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Mai?”

“For the first day when I cut in front of you in the cafeteria.”

“Why are you apologizing now?”

“Because you’re right, I was being mean.”

“…”

“I won’t call you ‘Xi Ngo’ anymore.”

“What? You called me that?”

“Hey! You said it yourself that you were being mean.”

“Okay okay.”

“…”

“I’m sorry for putting that food on the back of your head.”

“Sorry for pushing you to the ground.”

“…”

“Thank you for helping me.”

“Helping you?”

“Yeah. Milli and her gang would’ve beat me up and…And thank you for asking Jinyoung if I could stay here for the night.”

“…”

Jannine then realized he was just looking at her. Staring, but not saying a word.

“Did I say something wrong?” She asked, her face getting warm. “Is there a boogie hanging from my nose?”

Instead of replying to her questions, BamBam gave her a ghost of a smile and said, “You are really an anomaly Ploychompoo.”

“Ploy chomp oo?”

BamBam shrugged, and then turned on his other side. “Everyone here has nicknames. I gave you one.”

Jannine raised a brow. But why did he give her the nickname? Either way, she didn’t want the nickname.

Yet, she knew that he would call her that despite her protest.

And if it kept him civil, she’d let him.

Meanwhile, Jinyoung peeked into the room and saw that both of his peers had managed to fall asleep. He smiled knowingly due to fact that BamBam’s eyes changed when he spoke to Jannine. It was unlike any face he’d seen on his friend. When he brought her in, holding her like he was on a manga rom com cover, his demeanor was at ease.

Jinyoung wasn’t going to share that with the other guys, but it was definitely something he was going to keep track of.

“Jin young?”

He turned around and saw that it was his sunbaenim who stood behind him. She gave him a smile. “What are you doing?”

He blushed madly, not sure if he’d flub his words. But he tried to talk anyway. “Um. Th- there were two peers who are, um, staying in the patient room. They’re both, um, recovering fro—“

“Okay.”

“Huh?”

“I trust you,” She said gently. “But you should go and get some sleep too.”

“No. I need to get–“

She moved closer to him, their faces small inches apart. “Go and get some sleep.” She touched his face, touching the bags underneath his eyes. “You work too hard for your own good.”

“It’s oka–“

“No,” She said firmly. “I’ll be sure your friends are okay. You. Sleep. Now.”

“Sunbaenim–“

So-min trailed her hand down to the back of his neck. “Now.”

He didn’t say a word or protest any longer. He nodded and she removed her hands.

“Good.”

•••

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eureka-its-zico · 1 year

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Winterfall

Synopsis: When you thought of your life, Glenview Psychiatric Hospital was the last place you thought you’d end up. What could be weirder than calling a place like this home? Finding people who remind you that, sometimes, the messiest parts of who we are can be the best parts of us too.

Pairings: Christian Yu x Reader x Jay B x Reader (It’s a love triangle, y’all)

Series: ongoing

Word Count: 5186

Warnings: mentions of self-harm, mental health issues, mental disorders, slight violence, sexual themes

A/N: This is a hard one to post. I’ve had this in my WIPs for over seven years. I’ve rewritten it multiple times. Consider if this was a series, I was willing to share. As someone who suffers from BPD II and PTSD, it felt strange to dive into mental health. In a way, I felt like I needed a safe place to get it out. To share. This fic isn’t meant to be sad. It’s meant to be about growth. The journey of mental health can be a messy one, but it doesn’t have to hinder our own growth. Our sadness does not define us. If I ever miss anything in the warnings for chapters, please let me know and I’ll fix it ASAP! This fic is loosely based off of one of my favorite films, Girl, Interrupted. And remember, if you you ever need to talk: Im here.

Shout out to my bestie @deadneverlander for always being the better half in our clownery. I wouldn't be able to do half of this without you.

There was something about the bleakness of winter that seemed to make countless people’s bones ache for the warmth of summer. Their loneliness is somehow made more apparent by rain clouds and negative degrees, turning thoughts into reminiscent scenes of a doomsday film.

You’d always claimed that fall was your favorite season because the vast spectrum of your sadness didn't match the heat of summer. Sure, you loved the possibilities of hot cocoa, warm fires, ridiculous horror, Christmas films, and the first sight of snow. Somewhere along the way, however, came the anxiety of holiday dinners. Where the comfort you’d found in overcast skies turned sinister with repeated looks that reminded you that you were the black sheep; the odd man out with another year of nothing to show.

Fall no longer meant binges on shows and breaks from the endless routine that was work and school. It meant laying in the snow until your body heat forced it to melt underneath you, seeping into the fabric of your clothes to leave your nerves numb and transparent like ice. Your mind silently hoped it would be enough to extinguish the agony that blossomed in your chest.

Jackets were no longer marked for warmth, but strictly to hide your struggle to feel anything past the chasm that’d grown in the past couple of months: to bleed out the parts of you that didn't belong. It wasn't a surprise it's what landed you a one-way ticket to the cozy room inside a psychiatric hospital. Maybe that's just what happens when you're found unresponsive with a belly housing a fifth of rum. The marks on your skin lay like a map to follow on how you got there; only being found like a frantic afterthought.

Glenview Psychiatric Hospital, or GSH that was strategically labeled in bright crimson above the pocket of your prison-inspired sweatshirt, had been home for three months now. It was meant to be a place of healing, among the basic mood stabilizing and therapy sessions everyone held in a day. You felt further away from that concept with every group activity the doctors forced you to take part in. Your social anxiety becoming apparent each time it lands on you to speak, either to close the circle, or to be a part of the ridiculous game activities. The last time you played volleyball your face saw more action with the pleather ball than your arms ever did.

It was currently 12:47 p.m. The clock giving you a false sense of hope that the time wouldn’t just creep by to leave you stranded the last thirteen minutes until you’d earned your freedom. There was, however, the off chance if Dr. Thompson wasn't hearing what he wanted; the hour-long group activity would be extended.

You scanned the other six faces that made up your group: the huddled mess of piled sweaters and huddled blanket of Soomi a fleeting moment of comfort. It only took your eyes adjusting on her figure to know she didn’t have one. Her tiny body composed of thick layers of clothes to portray a false sense of shape. Her anorexia becoming so severe her family had no other option but to put her here, or watch her die. Jason’s endless finger taps on every surface he could touch the only giveaway to his OCD until he removed himself from his chair. Sejun with his alcoholism and Yuna with her acidic imagination that the wind whispered her deepest secrets out into the world.

All this ending with your gaze narrowed on the statuesque figure of Jaebum who comically sat opposite of your current position. The two suicidal inmates that shared in the anxiousness of sadness but little else, and the usual reason why your group never seemed to end on time.

You couldn't say it was a shame to be stuck sitting dead center of someone so attractive; as shallow of an observation as it was there was no denying how ungodly true that statement was. He held a silent attractiveness that resonated in the solitude he kept around himself, and Jaebum was indeed a solitary creature.

He preferred books over people. Usually moving away from anyone who got close to his latest reading perch without ever glancing up from his current book. Jaebum’s favorite place he’d reserved to get lost inside his fiction the seal of the window that looked out the expanse of the institute’s backyard. The entire estate currently covered in the dead burgundy and gold of a forest of oak tree leaves.

It wasn't like you were laying avid amounts of your attention on him or anything. You didn't pay attention to how broad his shoulders looked in his old man sweaters that you could've bet money smells like mothballs. How his features seemed sharpened to match the fierceness that lived inside his eyes. The only thing that exposed his softness was the speck of a mole that dusted itself on his left eyelid.

Jaebum just held a presence that demanded to be noticed. Whether he himself liked it or not.

“Jaebum: do you have anything you’d like to add to the session?”

Dr. Thompson’s question made the both of you jolt in your seats. Youwere too busy staring down at your nails while you plucked away at the cuticles. Jaebum's head turned, unbeknownst to you, from looking at you to the good doctor. It was enough to make your cheeks flush hot.

His crossed arms gave a soft shrug, and you hated how your eyes stayed captivated by the movement. You were willing to blame it on the charcoal-worn cable knit sweater he favored. It really did smell like moth balls and age making you willing to bet it wasn't his to begin with.

“We talked about this guys. Shrugging is not an adequate substitute for an answer.”

His tone showing his frustration more than anger at his need to repeatedly inform the group. Dr. Thompson looked at each of you individually until he stopped on Jaebum, who didn’t seem the least bit moved.

“I have nothing to say.”

A sigh escaped from Dr. Thompson’s lips as his head shook softly. His eyes averted down to the tin clipboard momentarily before they resumed their previous position.

“And what is it exactly you would like me to add, huh?” You felt your body tense against the chair. Your hands grasping at its edges like it would be the only thing to keep you stable against the oncoming rage that was Jaebum’s agitation. “We do these pointless sessions over and over: again and again. For what? Do you think it “saves” anyone?”

Your eyes diverted from the safety of your knees; counting every frayed piece of cloth on your jeans that hung loose from torn holes. No part of you needed to acknowledge that he was standing. The room did that well enough with the tension his power caused. The room itself swelling with anxiety that made fidgety Sera begin to rock violently against the back of her chair. Her head shaking hair into her face, like a curtain to hide what she feared was coming her way like the abusive hands of her father.

The orderlies were already beginning to circle his chair, but Dr. Thompson held up a hand of warding. He reminded you too much of an irresponsible ring handler at a circus. Unwilling to recognize his own tiger was about to maim him.

“No, no that’s fair enough. I see you have an issue with the way we try and help our patients.”

“Help?!” Jaebum snarled. “Is that what you call it? Like you helped Simon remember all the things he wanted to forget! Is that what you call endless therapies until he killed himself! You consider being helpful with the way you handled Ian?”

Dr. Thompson regarded Jaebum quietly, but his eyes were focused and searching the young man’s face. You watched in helpless awe as one stood like a calm in a blazing storm, while the other raged so furiously you thought the walls would come down. No longer was his voice a strong current, but now thunderous words that hurled like lightning bolts were being directed at the man before him.

Jaebum was right. Sometimes, the doctors picked and picked a part at you until you were left bare and raw. And if their words didn’t do it their physical methods picked up where they lacked. His anger was justified, because deep down so were you. But you didn’t have the towering strength like he did to stand up to anyone. Your fear of the seclusion rooms kept you prisoner: locked in your chair as a simple flick of Dr. Thompson’s hand sent the orderlies rushing to Jaebum’s side.

“I think that’s enough for today’s session.”

In the back of your mind you knew that Jaebum was right. In part. Who were counselors and psychologists to tell the broken mirrors of people how to put their pieces back together? Only to end up with more blood on their hands from struggling to put sharp pieces in place. They studied people like you, Jaebum...people like Ian who were features in their college books. They themselves barely ever one to experience it themselves.

Healing, even if unconventional, was still healing in the end. There was no right or wrong way to get there, but here, with people like Dr. Thompson, their textbook solutions were the only solutions. Maybe that’s why it backfired so terribly with Ian.

So for once, you wanted to stand up with Jaebum. To call out the injustices of treatments forced on patients, like Ian. Treatments they’d placed on patients that only wanted to forget, because no one wants to remember traumas and everything that makes them feel like failures.

You knew, however, if you took that chance to be brave for once you would end up like Jaebum. Uselessly struggling against orderlies who came prepared with syringes to make you complacent and an endless day being locked for god knew how long inside seclusion.

It was cowardice that kept your mouth shut. All of you stayed quiet as an orderly you aptly nicknamed, “The Bull,” grabbed at the neck of Jaebum’s sweater. That was all it took for him to react violently. Jaebum’s elbow flew back with such force it dislodged The Bull’s grip, which only seemed to make it worse.

“Jaebum, please do not struggle.” Dr. Thompson’s voice didn’t sound as soothing as he probably imagined. Obvious agitation outlined every word; the struggle forcing all of you up from your chairs and away from the fighting. “Everyone out. Now.”

A part of you hated listening. For not firmly digging your feet in to stand for something you agreed wasn’t right. It was an odd thought. Since Ian was the usual instigator of the chaos of how these ended. Never Jaebum. Maybe he just felt like in Ian’s absence he needed to take over for him.

“You play god with everyone’s emotions and leave them to drown alone in the aftermath. You are the reason Christian keeps escaping and Hyujin is gone! It’s you! It’s all of you!”

Jaebum’s rage became more apparent with each sentence and broke as his throat formed the words of his former friend. Former because he’d found himself as one of Dr. Thompson’s experimental new treatments. A treatment that brought back too much Hyujin couldn’t cope with - was forced to confront - before he was ready.

The ward still felt hollow - missing in the sound of Hyujin’s laugh.

You would’ve been impressed with the way Jaebum was laying into the doctor. He was holding his own against the orderly at his arms until the Bull snuck behind him and brought him falling down to the cold concrete floor.

That was the last you saw of Jaebum as you were ushered outside the doors. You faced them for a long time. No one questioned why you stood at the entrance as Jaebum’s yelling dulled to nothing. It was too late for you to run back and play the role of knight in shining armor and standing in front of the door would only make the staff assume you were waiting to cause a scene.

Turning on your heel you headed towards the living area. Your mind racing heavily with indecision and not paying attention to the overcrowded chairs and couches. You bypassed them all to head to your favorite window seat. It was opposite to the one everyone knew as Jaebum’s; reading a new book every week during free time. It was so engrained to the fabric of the facility that no one tried to take it from him. Not even Ian.

You folded into yourself as soon as you sat down on the window seat. Your chin pressed into your shoulder so you could get a better look outside. The vibrant colors of changing leaves reminding you that fall was coming. Maybe they would let you work outside if you were good? You were tired of doing bathroom and kitchen duties, but because of Ian’s latest stunt no one was allowed outside. Not until the fences were made higher with wire curled along the top.

If thoughts could be breathed into existence, you were positive you alone would be deemed responsible for Ian walking, right then and there, through the facility's double doors. Of course, Ian could never simply enter a room quietly.

Christian entered every room like a force. Wild and unpredictable. Mother Nature couldn’t compete with his massive hurricane personality. No one could come close, because underneath all that unhinged nature was a magmatism that far outreached just good looks.

Was Christian good looking? Devilishly so. It was his way with words, however, that left many people reeling. Not just fellow patients, but staff as well. He was painfully charming and, if you weren’t prepared for his wide-set smile directed in your direction, you were going to find yourself in trouble. Deep, deep Christian-flavored trouble. The staff had even labeled him with a warning of “verbal jujitsu” - you had to stay miles ahead of the conversation or you’d find yourself like the recently fired psych tech who’d handed over the ward keys without a second thought.

Seriously. That’s how Christian escaped this time. All the other times, well, the man could be considered the second coming of Houdini.

“How have you been, Bob? Are your feet still giving you grief, Margo?”

It was impressive how he acted like it wasn’t a big deal he’d magically reappeared. The guard and orderlies awkwardly keep watch over the double doors he’d come through like he’d disappear back into thin air.

You hated how happy you became hearing the richness of his voice. The way his accent reminded you of the battle of wills on what was the proper way to say, “water,” and the teasing you gave him about constantly saying, “Naurr”.

“It’s Margaret, jackass,” the older psych tech mumbled in reply. She didn’t even bother to look up from putting a new bandage on Bob’s hands.

“Missed you too, babe.”

You watched his reflection in the safety of the glass of the window. You didn’t want to show how eager you were to see him - or to find out that every time he left the ward became almost too much to bear alone.

In the safety of the window, you could pretend the call to freedom was what kept your eyes hypnotized. Not the sleeveless tee he’d tucked inside the waist of skinny jeans that hugged to the muscles like paint or the layers of tattoos that covered honey skin. He wasn’t tan when he’d left. Where had Ian’s adventures taken him this time?

You would get the chance to ask him yourself.

When his eyes caught sight of your huddled frame curled in the window seat his trajectory changed completely. He didn’t think you’d noticed him yet, but it didn’t stop his infamous megawatt smile from brightening up his features and the butterflies he’d left trapped in your gut instantly springing back to life.

The only downside? You were more than positive Ian saw you only as a sister. If he’d thought of you in the past as anything else you would’ve definitely known by now. As much as Ian was known for his charisma and whirlwind energy, he was also known for slipping into the janitor’s closet with more than a few now-fired staff members.

In a matter of seconds, he left the mirage of the window to become real beside you. The smell of cigarettes and his preferred cologne enveloped you, instantly turning the space intimate. You tried your best to ignore him. Ian would receive nothing but the side eye from you after the latest shit he’d pulled.

He let out a heavy sigh as a finger playfully poked into your side. He wiggled the digit in a weak attempt to tickle you thinking it would be enough for you to finally look at him. Fat chance. Using your elbow, you pushed down with just enough force to dislodge him from your side. The act forced a heavy sigh to flare his nostrils as he leaned back against the window.

“Come on, ‘Roo. You can’t be that mad at me?”

Of course, he would use your nickname. The nickname you earned one night when he’d tried to tickle you until you couldn’t breathe. To be honest, he thinks you’d kicked him accidentally in the chest because you might wet yourself. The truth? Ian had gotten dangerously close. A few times it felt like his lips were just a few sharp breaths away from landing on yours, and that night you’d felt hollow. So hollow. All you wanted was to burn and Ian…he was so full of fire and life and for once you wanted to know what it felt like to be filled with something other than emptiness.

You wanted to catch fire too.

So you’d kicked out at him in panic. Hence how you became his Kangaroo. His ‘Roo.

“Actually,” you began, biting out the world with each syllable. “I can be upset with you and I most definitely am.”

“Don’t be like that, ‘Roo. I know you missed me.”

“No, I didn’t. It was rather peaceful while you were off on whatever antics you decided to get into.”

A tsk sent his bottom lip into a pout as he crossed his arms. His shoulders lean further down the window and slightly into your view.

God, why did he have to be so heartbreakingly handsome?

You refused to make eye contact with him. Don’t do it. It’s a trick. You knew it was a trick. A sneaky ploy and yet…you looked. One look was all it took and Ian knew he had you.

“I missed you.” His voice caressed your skin like velvet causing it to erupt in goosebumps. “So, I know if I missed you that can only mean that you missed me.”

A snort of disbelief left you as you finally gave him what he’d been asking: your full and undivided attention.

“Is that how it works, Ian?”

“Ah!” He beamed. “She finally looks at me.”

You couldn’t keep your eyes from rolling as you tried to face away from him, but Ian wasn’t having it.

“I shouldn’t even do that.”

“Where is all this hostility coming from?” He pouted. “Did you experience another one of Dr. Thompson’s riveting group circles?”

“It’s not funny, Ian. You always leave.” You hated how your voice betrayed you. The way it cracked before you could glue it back together. “You go and leave me here, without you, all the time. One of these days you may not come back.”

All the playfulness slowly drained from his features. The sly smile wilted to a grimace as deep brown eyes scanned over your face. Calculating your words with the body language of guarded arms and saddened eyes. His hands gently grabbed at your elbows to loosen your arms before turning you to him. His head dipped down just a bit to make sure he had you at eye level.

“Hey, ‘Roo. I’m sorry. I come back for you, you know that right?” You knew he was lying, but try telling that to the butterflies fluttering around like crazy in your gut. “These assholes could never catch me if I didn’t turn myself in, and I only turned myself in to get back to you.”

You didn’t know what you would’ve said at that moment. Maybe something he wanted to hear or maybe - finally - you’d have the guts to call him out on his bullshit. Luckily for you, the muffled sound of Jaebum’s screaming slowly grew louder until his struggling body was brought through the double doors from therapy.

“Let me go, you assholes!”

You’d never seen Jaebum fight so fiercely before. The way he flailed his arms to find a way to get them released along with his legs kicking out like a madman. They practically dragged him down the hall towards seclusion. For a split second, in his struggle, his eyes landed on you. His gaze held yours for what felt like a lifetime until the spell was broken. It felt like slow motion as his face turned to see Ian on your right and all the fight drained from his body.

Did he think he was fighting for Ian? Himself? Jaebum was never much for acting out. That was usually Ian who created trouble. Maybe that was why he looked so shocked seeing Jaebum being dragged down to seclusion.

“Oi! What the fuck is this?”

Ian was up off the window seat in seconds. A couple of orderlies were already coming out from behind the nursing station to meet him halfway. Whatever they were saying, you weren’t all too sure. Ian was doing his usual of screaming and shoving causing the orderlies to prepare for a fight. The patients closest to all the commotion desperately trying to get out of the way.

It was all chaos. All classic Ian. The only non-classic thing was Jaebum looking at you in a way you’d never noticed before. It created a row of questions that sat heavily on your tongue and ones you weren’t sure he would ever be willing to answer.

It wasn’t until everything had settled down again that you snuck inside the room that held group therapy. Your eyes instantly homing in on Jaebum’s chair and underneath it one of his grandfather’s books.

Before you dared to push all the way through into the room you gave one last cautious glance to the recreation room and slipped inside. You made sure to hold the door so it didn’t click into place. There was no denying if you were caught sneaking in somewhere you weren’t meant to be you’d be joining Jaebum in your own seclusion room.

The sterile room with its egg-white walls was most definitely not your favorite. The only way to add your own source of color to its walls was to display your thoughts - projecting them out like a fucked up home movie that you’d rather forget.

You made sure to cut across the room silently. Your legs bending at the knee to swoop down to grab the worn-down cover and secure it to your chest.

You couldn’t explain why as you made your way out of the room towards the upper floor that held the seclusion rooms what made you want to do this for him. It’s not like he would thank you, but you weren’t looking for that.

It wasn’t hard to notice the way Jaebum cared for his late grandfather's things. From the sweater he wore daily that was meticulously cleaned and laundered to the few books Jaebum was able to keep from his collection. He coveted them the way others valued trophies but it wasn’t praise that Jaebum found secluded inside their pages: it was peace.

You didn’t know much about him. Jaebum wasn’t much of a sharer. He was reserved. The only way to know him was by the pages you held close to your chest. So, you weren’t terribly sure why you were doing this for him except for the fact you believed no one should go without something that they loved.

Just as you were about to round the last corner to the hallway that held seclusion rooms 1 through 3, you caught a flash of an orderly speaking to a nurse. From the brief moment you’d caught before you found the safety of the opposite wall, they were more than likely flirting.

Ted. That was the name written on his uniform. He’d called Ian a “Psycho,” a handful of times. You wondered if Ted knew the nurse he worshiped spent the same handful of nights sneaking inside Ian’s dorm.

“Do you maybe want to go get breakfast in the morning?”

Breakfast?! You mouthed to yourself before you snuck another peek around the corner.

“Oh, I don’t know, Ted. I might have plans later.”

If your eyes could roll back any harder you would’ve seen brain cells. You knew exactly what her supposed plans were. You could already hear the moans that echoed down the halls like a haunting. The only thing haunted here would be you.

You didn’t have to see Ted’s expression to know he was defeated. He was probably wondering how someone could refuse breakfast or maybe he was finally growing tired of being told no. The mystery of the unknown in this love triangle would sadly (not really) remain a mystery. You didn’t really care if they had breakfast together or hunted Easter eggs. You just wanted them to finish their awkward conversation and leave the damn hallway.

A few more strangled pieces of conversation later and you could hear the shuffling of feet. Quickly, you moved inside a linen closet and quietly shut the door. Your ears straining - waiting - to hear a pair of feet move past your location so you could finish what you came to do.

Every second you were out here and not inside your own dorm waiting for the nurses to come in and check you were there was one second too many in a chance at punishment. After a few more minutes went by and the coast sounded relatively clear, you creeped out from the linen closet and dashed towards the seclusion rooms.

“Jaebum!?” You half whispered half yelled. “Jay!”

“What the hell are you doing over here?”

Ah, there was that condescending voice you’d grown accustomed to. Following the sound of his voice, and with the help of his fingers hanging out of the small seclusion window, you darted towards the back of the hall. Your arms still securely held onto his grandfather’s book and only began to loosen as you got closer to the door.

“I wanted to bring you something before they placed it in lost and found.”

With another cautious glance down the hall, your fingers wrapped around the edges of the book's spine. You offered it up to him and gently started to push it through the small window. Jaebum hadn’t spoken since he noticed what you held in your hands. His fingers overlapped yours as he took it from you. His arms immediately brought it inside with him with the sound of pages flipping while he made sure each page was still accounted for.

“How did you-“ he began, but his words quickly died out.

“Can you believe it ladies and gentlemen? For once, he was too stunned to speak,” you teased.

Jaebum’s eyes narrowed in on your face. His hands wagged the book as if he was going to hit you over the head with it. Who knows, he might have if there wasn’t a 30-pound door stationed between you.

“I’m serious. You came all this way to give me this?”

You shrugged his words off like what you’d done wasn’t a big deal. Both of you knew it was. So many factors that could lead you to where he was, or worse, if they believed you were trying to steal someone else’s property. Which, they one hundred percent would even though kleptomania wasn’t part of your conga line list of disorders.

“I remember how much his things matter to you. I didn’t want Bull or Kojak The Great Dick to get a hold of it. I know they wouldn’t have respected it after today.”

You’d expected a lot of things to come out of this exchange. The main one? At least a thank you. All you were getting now felt like the cold shoulder that featured a very unnerving stare. With every second you were feeling more self-conscious and it took everything in you not to shout, “Boo!” in an attempt to get him to blink.

You couldn’t take the awkwardness of the exchange any longer. Your feet were already backpedaling as your arms swung, thumb extended out, to indicate your exit before you spoke.

“Great well, this was a fun chat-“

“He lies to you, you know.”

Jaebum’s words took you by surprise. You were sure that was the point. His face was set in deep lines of determination as if what he needed to say was something you needed to adhere to like the gospel from the Bible.

“Okay, Jay I’ll bite: who is he?”

“You know who I’m talking about. Ian. It’s who he is. He doesn’t know how to tell the truth, and you always set yourself up for failure with him.”

Maybe Jaebum thought he was being helpful - calling to light all things you were aware of but couldn’t bring yourself to say out loud. You must have seemed too weak - gullible - in his eyes for him to believe he needed to say these things.

You eyed him coolly through the window. Your tongue rolled around inside your cheek trying to decide what exactly you should say at this moment. Did he want recognition that you knew you were an idiot? What did it matter to him if you knew Ian didn’t give two fucks about you.

So, the only thing you could settle on was the beginning of a long sigh before you spoke: “I know I might look like a love-sick puppy to you, Jay, but I know my place.”

He tried saying your name to stop you. You just ignored him as you shook your head and allowed yourself to begin to move back down the hall towards the safety of your own dorm.

“It’s alright, Jay I get it. Take care of your grandfather’s things better, okay?”

You didn’t wait to finish your sentence before you were already turning to head down the hallway. The bottom of your feet itching for you to sprint in the opposite direction. Your mind raced over Jaebum’s words and matched them with the growing chasm in your chest.

So lost in your head, you barely caught the sound of his parting, “Thank you,” as you bolted around the corner.

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herrmannhalsteadproduction · 5 months

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Thinking about that joke when Person A is like, "That's my ex-boyfriend." and Person B is all *big sigh, muttering about how they need to stop saying that* "Hi. I'm their husband." (Obv, tweak to whichever gender best applies.)

Just for fun: Who would do that in your favourite ships? Who's Person A and who's Person B? Reblog and put it in the tags!

#a herrmann/halstead production #For this series universe:#Christopher Herrmann x Cindy Herrmann #Cindy would totally be Person A and Chris would be Person B #Will Halstead x Connor Rhodes #rhodestead #I think Will would be Person A and Connor would be Person B #Rebecca 'Bex' Herrmann x Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz #I think they would both be Person A for the jokes and Jay is in the background yelling about how they're freaking married #Jay Halstead x Hailey Upton #upstead #Hailey would so be Person A in this fic 🤣#Leslie Shay x Julie Tay #Leslie is Person A for sure and Julie is just over here like 🤦‍♀️#I'll stop there 🤣#now do yours!#fanfic game #ship game

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yiensaintlaurent · 1 year

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00 | the other side - mark tuan

pairing: mark tuan x reader

genre: angst, smut, idol! got7, idol! reader

warnings: cursing, explicit sex, takes place in present time with minor flashbacks

summary: mark knew it was game over the minute he saw you. despite being apart from each other for so long, no amount of practice in front of the mirror would've prepared him for the way his heart dropped the moment he saw you walk in. he'd forgotten about the hold you had on him, you; the love of his life, the one that got away.

character preface

mark tuan :

male

age: 29

birthday: september 4, 1993

currently living in arcadia, la county, california, u.s.a

y/n:

female

age: 25

birthday: september 15, 1997

currently living in seoul, south korea

originally from new york city; part time in los angeles

all got7 member info is in present time.

let me know if i should post ch. 01 :)

______________________________________________________________

disclaimer:

slight or recurring mentions of other idols, groups, familiar names.

despite it taking place in present time, with real time events, this story the plot and scenarios are 100% made up

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hawkeyescoffee · 8 months

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It's our hearts that make the beat (2)

Gwen I

Gwen kept glancing to her phone screen, but the short message Miles had sent her had not changed.

GhostGwen🥁👻🩰: Hey Miles.

GhostGwen🥁👻🩰: Can we maybe talk today?

GhostGwen🥁👻🩰: Like I can swing by your place after last period?

(S)Miles🌻🕸️⚡: Sure- I am done after 8th period @the dorm?

Again, she let her head fall onto her desk with a groan. She wanted to do amends to her friend, but her guilt weight heavy even after saving Miles and communicating thru text wasn’t the best way to convey emotions.

Before she could do something stupid like text more that she might regret when Miles was currently at school as well, someone fell into the chair next to her.

“You look awful.”, Em Jay was commenting with a soft smile, that contradicted her harsh words.

Gwen’s (former) bandmate was dressed in soft pastel colors, classing tastefully with the easy punk aesthetic she was going for. Ripped jeans with silver chains, soft pink off-shoulder shirt, paired with a violet studded leather jacket. For once her kinky hair was bound in a messy bun. Did Em Jay get her ears pierced another time? Gwen didn’t have enough time to look but she was sure she counted four silver-studs in each lob.

“Well, I feel awful.”, she answered sprawling out so that most of her torso was now laying on the cold hard surface of her desk. She could have said something clever like ‘you aren’t a sight ether’, but a) did she have little energy to pretend she wasn’t miserable and b) was it straight up not true. Mary-Jane Watson always looked good.

read on AO3

#spiderman atsv #atsv #punkflower #gwenmj #spideypool #miles morales #gwen stacy #hobie brown #peter b parker #em jay watson #atsv fanfiction #punkflower fanfic

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limjaeseven · 1 year

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Brewed Love

Pairing: Mark X Jackson

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Coffee Shop!AU, s2f2l

Rating: General

Word Count: 1,518

Bingo Prompt: Hocus Pocus - BVNDIT

Summary: Jackson is comfortable working at the cafe Jaebeom owns. He expects to earn a living there, he doesn't expect falling in love.

Warning(s): Jackson being comically whipped, nothing more!

[a/n]: Happy Valentine's Day @sweetestofchaos! Sorry for this being late but I really hope you like it! It was pleasure talking to you and getting to know you. This fic is also my first entry for the Kpop Bingo project. I was struggling to come up with something for Hocus Pocus but I tried to make it work.

Jaebeom was both the first and last person Jackson thought would open a café. His parents did own a yogurt place so he was clearly knowledgeable on the issue but something about how fierce his hyung could be made it seem really unlikely. The only thing that could explain it to him was the fact that Jaebeom was married to their mutual best friend, heartthrob-cum-pain-in-the-ass Park Jinyoung. He was the only one who could really cool Jaebeom down and bring out the more domestic sides of him, him and their cats.

Whatever the cause, the opening of the café was a blessing for Jackson, wannabe star who was working his way up the ranks at a dance academy and crew, while making basically no money. Jaebeom had told him to join them whenever he was ready because he knew Jackson needed a way to make ends meet. The job was fun, the café was small, decorated classily and with a loyal clientele.

Jackson knew most of their customers by name and had their orders memorised, and loved to get to know the new ones, because it would be inevitable that they’d return in no time to Jackson’s megawatt smile, Jinyoung’s charming face and Jaebeom’s quality confectionery.

While most customers did a double take when they saw a handsome man like Jackson talk to them so sweetly, what was rare was Jackson being rendered speechless at the sight of a patron. He couldn’t blame himself though, it wasn’t a man who had appeared in front of them, but an angel, an angel who was speaking to him but he heard not a word of it.

“Excuse me?” Jackson snapped back to his senses when he noticed the slightly exasperated look on the angel-man’s face.

“Oh I’m so sorry, how can I help you?” He cringed internally at saying the wrong thing to the customer but he seemed to not notice and rattled his order out, which Jackson noted down diligently, his hand shaking through all of it. “You can find a seat, we’ll be there with your order in no time!” Jackson tried to ignore how his voice raised a pitch with the nervousness coursing through his body turning away as soon as he could to catch a breath.

The moment Jaebeom saw the look on Jackson’s face he knew something was up. “Saw a ghost?”

“Angel,” Jackson murmured, pointing in the direction of where the man sat.

The cogs turning in Jaebeom’s head was visible and it made Jackson feel even more jittery. The owner quickly flagged Jinyoung down and whispered something in his ear before grinning at Jackson. He snatched the order and got it done at lightning speed, depositing it on a tray and into Jackson’s hands.

“Serving duty!” A hard shove to his back had Jackson stumbling out of the kitchen. Jinyoung sent him a thumbs up from the spot at the register before turning to take orders. Jackson took a moment to straighten himself, praying that he hadn’t made a mess of his apron that day. Putting on his best smile, he made his way to the angel sitting by the large windows. The soft early evening glow of the sun made his skin glow in supernatural ways and Jackson would have been happy spending the rest of his life just staring at that image.

“Here you go!” He said, a bit too loud, as he set the tray in front of the man and bolted back before he could make more of a fool of himself. He heard the angel chuckle behind him and filed that sound into his folder of “Heavenly Sounds That Beat Music Any Day.” He tried not to think about the fact that the folder had a content count of one.

He tried not to stare too much but he didn’t do very well. Jinyoung had to make sure he was working properly, not wanting to anger customers with incorrect orders because Jackson was too busy writing poetry about the man by the window in his notepad.

Jackson watched with a look of despair as the man stood up, a little over an hour after he’d come, but did a double take when the he walked straight towards him instead of leaving.

“Are you the owner of this place?” Jackson could only shake his head and grab Jaebeom by the back of his shirt to drag him to the counter, too afraid of saying something dumb.

“What are you doing Jacks-” Jaebeom quickly caught himself once he saw the man across the counter, “Oh hi, how can I help you?”

“Would you have a moment?” The man asked, to which Jaebeom nodded and just as they were about to start talking, Jinyoung pulled Jackson away, telling him to take over the register again.

Anticipation brimmed within him as he kept glancing back to where Jaebeom was standing, his frown turning into a big smile by the time the conversation ended, concluding with a firm handshake.

Turning to catch Jackson’s eye, Jaebeom shot him a wink before disappearing back into the kitchen.

An exasperated sigh left Jackson as he tried to talk to Jaebeom but the owner wouldn’t budge. “Hyung,” he whined, “What did you two talk about? Heck, at least tell me his name.”

“Be patient, Jackson. You’ll find out soon enough,” Jaebeom said with an air of finality. Jackson pouted but nodded, packing up his bag and wishing Jinyoung a good night before heading home.

Jackson didn’t know whether to curse at Jaebeom or thank him because seeing his angel-man first thing in the morning was nothing short of a blessing. “Good morning,” The man greeted when he saw Jackson walk in, “I’m Mark Tuan. I look forward to working with you.”

“J-Jackson, nice to meet you too,” He stuttured before running to the kitchen to see his two friends looking supremely smug.

By some stroke of luck, Mark ended up getting along with them really well, fitting into their rhythm with little trouble. He turned out to be a really fun person to be around and it wasn’t long before the four of them became pretty inseparable.

Jackson’s little crush on Mark brewed as he got to know the older man better. Their shared knowledge of Mandarin made Jackson feel like he had just a bit more of an insight on the man, hearing his thick accent utter words he knew his friends wouldn’t understand.

He couldn’t tell when the crush turned to something more, but he definitely thinks it happened at the same time the two became friends. Working next to each other everyday, casually judging customers, trying to remember their names and orders, laughing in the kitchen with Jaebeom and Jinyoung as the two tried making new recipes. Mark became from the angel-man he met one day at the cafe to his best friend to the man he loved so easily that Jackson couldn’t even be scared. It felt so right, he knew it just had to be.

“So, when are you going to ask him out? After he gets sick of waiting for you and falls for someone else?” Jinyoung asked him one night as they were closing up shop. Mark had left early that evening sighting prior commitments and a part of Jackson prayed it wasn’t a significant other he didn’t know about.

“I know I should be I just don’t know how to do it,” Jackson lamented, draping himself in his best friend’s arms.

Warm hands wrapped his waist from behind as Jaebeom joined their hug. “You’re Jackson Wang. You can do anything. You managed to get into an elite Korean dance crew without knowing anyone or speaking a word of the language.” He pulled away, patting Jackson on the back, “Go get your man, Seunnie.”

The flowers were probably a bad idea, Jackson thought. What if Mark was allergic to pollen or something? His palms were sweating as he gripped the stalks in his hands, waiting for Mark to join him. He had asked the man out for lunch on their day off with much support from Jaebeom and Jinyoung (read: they snatched the phone from him and wrote the text themselves and sent it to Mark because Jackson had forgotten how to form basic sentences).

“Jackson!” Mark called out and Jackson looked up to see the man walk towards him and he was transported back to the first time he laid eyes on the man. He was so screwed.

“Hyung,” He said breathlessly as he thrust the flowers towards the man.

Mark looked surprised for a moment before smiling, “For me? They’re so pretty.”

“Hyung,” Jackson repeated, receiving a hum from Mark, “Do you wanna be, like, you know…” he trailed off.

Chuckling, Mark leaned down to place a soft kiss on Jackson’s cheek, “Yeah, I’d love to.”

#ahgaseadmirer23 #musicbingo23 #got7writerscollective #klibrary #got7 fanfic #got7 imagines #jaebeom #jay b #jackson wang #mark tuan #park jinyoung #got7 jayb #got7 jackson #got7 mark #got7 fluff #got7 scenarios

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jae-daddy · 2 years

Text

Duff (13)

im jaebum au series

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, mature, smut plot: you are the duff and guys use you to get close to your best friend, heather, and turns out Jaebum is no exception, but as time goes on the tension between you and your best friend’s unofficial boyfriend grows a/n: hi, idk imma put out the worst trash and not overthink it, because at the end of the day its all about getting it done <3 hope y’all like it. and ive gotten my life together, so i’ll post more regularly fr now. not edited <3333

You snorted as you stared at the scene in front of you.

It was almost comical watching as everyone crowded around Jaebum, waiting like dutiful lapdogs for their master to offer them the slightest bit of attention.

You took a sip of your cool vodka with a splash of orange juice, clicking your tongue as one of the girls dropped something right in front of Jaebum. She shamelessly bent in front of him, picking up the tube of sunscreen and staying in that position for two seconds longer than necessary.

Your face remained neutral as if your eyes were closed and you were basking in the sunshine. But your right eye twitched as she looked over her shoulder at a smug looking Im Jaebum. A frown settled on your lips as you took in the way his lips tilted into a lazy smile as she moved towards him.

Your chest heaved as a molten fist gripped your heart, clenching it tightly as she sat in front of him. The burning spread all the way down to your tummy as you watched him squirt the sunscreen onto his hands and rub them together.

That son of bitch was about to rub sunscreen onto that girl's back.

He inched closer to her, and you could almost feel the heat of his body radiate against your back. As his hands touched her skin, his body leaned closer to hers, his lips close to her ears; you turned away.

Something lodged in your throat, and you tried to gulp it away as you stared at the branches of the palm tree swaying lazily above you.

You bit back a groan and closed your eyes. It didn't stop the ridiculous giggle from the other side of the pool though. Her voice stabbed your ears, causing you to clench your teeth.

You tried to will their presence away. You wanted Jaebum and all of him in that light blue loose shirt to disappear into the sea breeze, just like how it was meant to be. Just as this trip had always been, with just you and Heather.

It was always just the two of you, under the sun, deliciously warming your skin before you escaped into the cool water. It was always flirting with strangers on the beach and then cocktails until sunrise. It was a time to relax, unwind, to celebrate hot girl summer.

But it was far from that now.

Now the dreamlike days had been tarnished with demons she had invited with open arms. It was supposed to be quite sunshine and the dancing of palm trees. But now it was grating giggles and annoying assholes who wouldn't leave you in peace.

"Any harder, y/n and your teeth will turn into dust," you hated the way your body reacted to his velvety voice.

Speak of the devil.

You ignored him, but it was not that easy to shake him off.

"Was the big hat necessary?" He chuckled. You brought a hand up to your sensible white hat and turned to him with a glare.

"Sun damage is no joke, Jinyoung," you told him, unable to come with a better comeback. But kill them with knowledge.

An endearing smile bloomed onto his lips as he said, "I'm sure, y/n."

You looked away from him and tried to blame the sun for the heat creeping up your cheeks. The heat only grew as you felt his gaze remain on you. You turned to him, and his dark eyes behind those light shades watched you with that same smile that made your heart flip.

"Go away." You said simply, before relaxing on your back again.

Of course, Park Jinyoung wouldn’t just leave because you asked him to. Instead, the pool bed creaked as he settled into it beside you.

You tilted your head to find him sprawled comfortably, with his hands behind his head. The distant memory of his hands behind his head, while you were on your knees in front of him, flashed before your eyes. He smiled almost as if he could see what was happening in your head.

Silence enveloped you both as you lay in the cool sea breeze. The voices from the chatter around the pool floated in the atmosphere, and someone yelped as the sound of water splashing reached you. If you closed your eyes it wasn't that bad.

And at least, the grating giggles had somewhat stopped now. You tried to search for Jaebum’s voice but it was to no avail. Another flick of anger licked your belly as you thought of him whispering in that girl’s ear, talking softly to her as she batted her eyes up at him.

“Do you remember that time we went to Fiji?” Jinyoung spoke, pulling you out of the green slime you were sinking into.

You kept your eyes closed as you hummed, “I remember the blissful times when you weren’t annoying me.”

You heard him chuckle, before he continued, “This reminds me of the private villa we had.”

You remembered the villa. You remembered the days and nights spent together doing nothing but being lost in each other. Everyone thought you were on your honeymoon, and maybe it was. It was the last time you both were so incredibly happy together. As soon as you landed back home, you had found about his engagement to the heiress.

Jinyoung kept talking, “We had just come back from exploring the village when you decided you wanted to take a swim.” You couldn't help the smile itching at the corner of your lips. You knew exactly what he was talking about. He must’ve seen your grin, because you could hear him smile and shake his head, “I thought you were going to die. Your scream was straight out of a horror film.”

You laughed with him this time. You turned towards him, your heart hurting as you saw him laugh so freely. You missed him laughing like this so many times over the years. His shoulders shook as chuckled, “And then- then-”

He couldn’t continue because he was laughing so hard. You reached over slapping his broad shoulder, “It was a reasonable reaction.”

“I thought you were going to get brutally murdered, y/n.”

“I’m sorry I’m not used to seeing goats lounging around the pool,” you protested, glaring at him. But you couldn’t keep a straight face for long as another round of laughter escaped you.

“Well, I wasn’t the one that got chased around by a dog,” you snorted at him. His eyes widened as his mouth fell open.

“You were supposed to take that to your grave, y/n,” he tutted, his eyes glistening with amusement.

“Well, technically it was a puppy,” you clicked your tongue, smirking.

“A puppy?!” He chocked, making your grin widen. “That thing was not a puppy or a dog. That monster is used to protect the gates of hell.”

This time you laughed entirely. You threw your head back as belts of laughter left you. You gasped for air trying to calm down, when he continued, “I swear I still wake up shivering from nightmares about it.”

“Jinyoung,” you gasped, hitting his shoulder, giving him a silent plea to stop.

You both slowly lulled to a stop. The air between you thick with emotions you both were feeling. You could feel the same heaviness in Jinyoung that was slowly settling over your heart.

You spoke first, "Why did you come here, Jinyoung?"

He stared at you for a long moment, before shrugging, “Heather invited me.”

Something close to betrayal shot through your chest as you stared at him, shocked.

"Why?" you whispered in a low voice.

The smug look on his face melted as he brought his hands close to yours. They loomed over your hands that were turning white from your tight grip on the frame of your chair. Finally, they settled tightly onto his lap.

"For business," he cleared his throat. You didn't reply as your mind finally began to register that Park Jinyoung was actually here. At your hot-girl summer trip, but so was Jaebum, Bambam, and some other people. This was not a hot girl summer trip; this was something else.

Jinyoung continued taking in your silence, "It's a rich kid event. We all are heirs of big fortune, so we're networking."

You didn't answer again.

You didn't understand why, but you felt utterly betrayed being invited here. Heather knew you didn't like the elite crowd. You didn't like the way they looked down at the poor, how they flaunted their money, how easily they got out of trouble. You hated how immune they were to their own consequences.

But what hurt the most was Heather knew Jinyoung would be here, and she still invited you. She hadn't even given you a heads up. She had just invited you and left you to the wolves.

You scanned the area, searching for her. She was easy to spot in her red hot swimwear. Just like Jaebum, she had her own circle of groupies surrounding her. They were all laughing at something, and your cheeks flamed brighter.

You felt stupid being here. You needed to get away for a bit.

"Hey," Jinyoung's hand touched your arm. You turned to him with wide eyes, the frown on your lips deepening. You felt the frustrated tears building up as you brushed his hand away.

He let it hang there for a second before drawing it back.

"Sorry," he cleared his throat, "I was calling out to you, but you weren't listening."

You shot up from your seat instead of answering him. You grabbed the bag next to your chair and began walking away.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" He yelled quietly, trying not to draw any attention.

You just shook your head and continued walking.

You didn't fit in this crowd.

Even now, when you didn't mean anything to Jinyoung that could taint his reputation, he was still trying to hide his association with you.

You weren't thinking about where you were going. But all those summers spent at Heather's summer house had made you very acquainted with the area that you were sure you wouldn't get lost. You quickly found your way to the beach and stared at the near-empty beach.

"What a shame," you looked out to the sea, covering the glare of the sun with your hand, "It's just a nice day."

You pulled out your blanket to lay onto the sand.

Anyone can call you crazy, but you like to be prepared for anything. Hence your handy summer bag that had gone through countless trials and errors until it became the perfect summer bag.

The blanket resulted from a terrible day a couple summers ago when you and Heather had stumbled onto the beach and decided it was a beach day. The lack of a towel led to sand in areas that took days to get rid of completely.

You positioned yourself underneath one of the giant umbrellas and opened the blanket onto the sand. Two solid, tanned hands straightened the other side.

"Thanks," you smiled, finding a handsome man smiling back at you.

"No problem," his smile widened as he took in the hello kitty print on the blanket. His eyes flickered back to you as he smirked, "Cute."

"Thanks," you replied, as you bit your lip feeling embarrassed.

"Aye, come on," he clicked his tongue, with a teasing smile he said, "I wasn't teasing."

Even if you wanted to, you couldn't stop the smile spreading over your lips, as you nodded, "A-ha-"

Before you could say respond, a voice interrupted you.

"There you are."

His chest heaved as he tilted his head at you.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, confused.

Jaebum didn't answer you as he came to stand beside you. His sunglasses were pushed up on his head, his eyebrows drawn in concentration as he focused on you.

“You can’t just leave without telling people-”

“I told Heather.” You cut him off with the lie. Of course, Im Jaebum didn’t believe you, he could see straight through your lies all the time and it annoyed the hell out of you.

One time, when you were both working together, he had given you some of the lunch he had prepared himself. It was horrible, tasted like bitter acid, but you still took many bites and tried to act like it was nice, but he saw right through it. Or the times when you on the edge of a breakdown from all the stress, and even though you would say you were fine, Im Jaebum would give you the most absurd errands like going up to the rooftop and recording the sky for him for ten minutes.

Even though you both seemed to bicker every time you talked, he was always smiling at you.

But he wasn’t smiling right now. He looked somewhat pissed, and you really couldn’t understand why, because frankly, what you did was none of his damn business. You were just about to tell him this when someone coughed drawing your attention away from Jaebum.

“Oh,” you remembered the stranger standing in front of you.

"Sup," Jaebum did the little nod thing to him, smiling as if he had known him his entire life. You rolled your eyes at Jaebum. How could he look so pissed one second, and then be this happy chap the next? "I'm JB."

"Like Justin Bieber?" The stranger chuckled, and you almost rolled your eyes at the lame joke. Jaebum didn't seem to mind; he just shrugged, smiling, "Not quite."

"Ah, I'm Jackson, dude," he introduced himself.

Dude?

"Nice, dude, like Micheal Jackson?!" Jaebum teased him back, and the two laughed. You stood there, wanting to drag your blanket away and go lay down somewhere else in peace.

"Nah, bro. MJ was a crazy dude. I can't compete."

"Rubbish!" Jaebum gushed as he turned to you with raised brows. "What do you think, y/n? Is he any less than MJ, the crazy dude?"

You bit back the smile threatening to grow on your lips as you met his dark eyes in challenge.

"Y/n," Jackson cut in before you had to reply. He said your name like he was tasting it on his tongue.

"Yeah, hi," you replied, tucking your hair behind your ear. The sea breeze was really strong here, making your hair fly into your mouth.

You smiled up at Jackson, who smiled back.

Jaebum cleared his throat, drawing your attention. His gaze remained on Jackson as he said, "So what are you doing here?"

"Surfing, bro," he pointed his thumb behind to the waves and group of people on their boards. "Came here with some mates. Do you surf?"

"Y/n loves surfing," Jaebum replied before you could answer. You punched his stomach, making him groan before turning to Jackson, "No, I actually don’t know how to."

"I can teach you," Jackson said, leaning towards you.

Your cheeks flushed as his eyes scanned your face. You suddenly felt bare, as if you had not gotten ready this morning.

"Maybe you can teach a couple of us," Jaebum spoke, making you both turn towards him. His eyes didn't look at you as he continued to talk to Jackson. "I have a couple of bros who would love a lesson too."

"Oh, it was just for-" Jackson rose his brows.

"We'll pay you," he interrupted with a charming smile. "Of course."

"Yeah?" Jaebum nodded in reply. His eyes bounced between you and Jaebum, before he nodded with a grin, "Alright, take my number..."

And that was your cue; you tuned them out.

You stepped away from the pair and stood on your blanket. You brushed away the bit of sand that had flown onto it before standing up straight. You grabbed the first button of your dress and began to open it, suddenly feeling too hot as frustration began burning inside you.

Sometimes you forgot Jaebum was just another spoilt rich brat.

The soft material slid off you, revealing the yellow swimwear you had on. You rolled the dress into a ball and placed it under your head as you lay onto the blanket.

"Shit," you heard Jackson mutter, and you tried to ignore it. Suddenly feeling too exposed, but you didn't cover yourself. Instead, you cast your gaze over to the two boys.

Jackson was trying to hide it his glances towards you, but not Im Jaebum.

He was looking at you; unmasked.

"Okay, I'll see you later, bro."Jackson cleared his throat as he cast you one last look. "See you around, y/n."

You got onto your elbows and waved him goodbye with a grin.

You watched him walk away, slowly becoming smaller and smaller on the horizon.

Jaebum who was looking into the distance now, and lay onto your back again. A few moments later, you felt him lay down next to you, and you tried to ignore him. But the words were right on your tongue, stinging to be let out.

"You didn't have to flaunt your money at him, you know."

Jaebum let out a snort, "I wasn't the one flaunting."

"What do you mean?" You got on your elbows again and glared at him.

Jaebum rose an eyebrow, a bitter smile on his lips as he dryly chuckled up at you, "This is one way to get over your ex, y/n."

"Ex? What?" You sputtered, confused. You took your sunglasses off, "What the fuck are you on about?"

"You cling onto the first thing that comes your way to--"

"Excuse me?" You choked.

"Oh, alright then," he corrected himself like it made a fucking difference. "Flirting with the first guy who gives you the tiniest bit of attention."

"I wasn't-"

"Are you that desperate for attention?" He rose up to meet your eyes.

You didn't answer him.

Your chest hurt. His words shouldn't hurt so much, but they did. They burned you.

"Are you that willing for a distraction that you'll take it from anyone?" You didn't answer him. You just stared at him as his jaws locked and eyes hardened. He leaned onto his side, facing you perfectly.

His eyes finally left yours and went to his hand that reached for you.

You watched him as the back of his hand grazed the slope of your neck. You watched him, follow his hand, and watch you, as your chest heaved at the ghost of his touch spreading through your body.

His hand traveled lower, down the middle of your breast, making your breath hitch. His fingers splayed on your hip as his fingertips dug into your skin.

"Can't that someone be me?" he whispered. His dark eyes finally meeting yours.

A slow breath left you as you leaned in closer, getting lost in the way the velvety darkness in his eyes flickered with heat. His eyes fell to your lips, then back to your eyes. His fingers tightening on your hips, stinging.

You were so close to him that your could paint the gold flecks in his eyes, and count every dark lash that kissed his cheekbones when he blinked. Your gaze fells to his lips, parted and waiting; and then you stopped.

A bucket of cold water fell over you as you pulled away from him. Your eyes prickling with tears as you gasped.

It was so small you would've missed it. You could've easily mistaken it for excitement, but you knew him. You knew that smile all too well. That winning smirk that itched the corner of his lips.

It was all a game to him.

"You bastard," you breathed. Your stern gaze met his stunned ones. He flinched at your words. You moved away from him, and lay on your back.

"You are cruel," you gritted out, trying not to show the way your heart was shattering, "a complete asshole."

Just another rich sick snob.

You tried to distract yourself by staring at the sky. "There are no clouds today."

"Cloudless skies are better, anyway." He answered, his voice tight.

"The more I get to know you, the more I despise you." You told him, honestly.

Jaebum chuckled at that, settling back to become comfortable. His warmth of disappearing instantly as he drew his fingers away, "Well, you're not the first to experience that."

You didn't answer.

None of you spoke for a long time.

"Who was that girl by the pool?" You swallowed, your throat painfully dry.

"Who?" He asked, amused.

"It certainly wasn't Heather," you said.

"No, it wasn't." He said after a long moment.

"How could you do that to her?"

He stayed quiet for a long time before saying, "How can you, y/n?"

After that, no one spoke until it was time to go.

106 notes · View notes

lilyrennifer · 10 months

Text

Always feel free to request! 😁

Please click HERE before you do for more information! Thank you! 🥰

🐰 Mark

Nothing So Far

🌴 Jay B

Nothing So Far

🍑 Jinyoung

Nothing So Far

🌙 Youngjae

Nothing So Far

💐 Yugyeom

Nothing So Far

🐍 BamBam

Nothing So Far

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dontbekoifish · 2 years

Text

The Sky Prince (1/3)

Pairing: Duffi!Jaebeom x f!reader (future chapters), slight Muska!Jinyoung x f!reader

Genre: Angst, some fluff

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, death, violence, mentions of murder, injuries, toxic relationships (chapter specific)

Word count: 3684 (chapter specific)

Summary: Maybe Jinyoung was a little mean to you, but you think it gives him personality. You kind of like it. But he leaves you all alone. Until one fateful day, where your whole life turns upside down.

Movie: Castle in the Sky

Fandom: GOT7

This was written for the 2021 Ghibli Collab by @toikiii. It’s a long time overdue, so I’m sorry about that. But this will be finished by October, in a three-parter. I hope you enjoy the first part. :)

Jinyoung insisted he’s some sort of prince. You would’ve found it annoying if it was any other kid in the village, but you didn’t mind it from him. He had dreams and aspirations, and who were you to judge him? You would sit with him under the big oak tree in the orphanage’s yard and listen to his stories and tales. The other kids would call you both weird, but you didn’t mind. It wasn’t like they were any more mature.

As the oldest two of the orphans, Jinyoung being only a few months older than you, you and he often had a lot more free time. Honestly, you didn’t know why you both had to stay. Well, kind of. You weren’t able to leave until someone offered to marry you, as you were a young woman with no family. Such was how the village worked. But Jinyoung, you didn’t know what was stopping him.

Deep inside you wished he was waiting until he was old enough to marry at twenty and then he would engage you, but you know it wasn’t that. He didn’t really like you. He only put up with you because you believed his tall tales. You could see it in his eyes. When you two were stuck doing chores any other day, he would look at you with such animosity. But when you sat at the tree, he smiled at you.

That was why you would listen. Any sort of appreciation he looked at you with, you relished. Even if it was only thankfulness at your willingness to hear his stories.

But one day, when you were waiting at the tree, Jinyoung was slow. A lot slower than usual. Usually, he was right behind you, eager to tell tales.

“Jinyoungie,” you called out, watching his head lift, “why so slow today?” You ran back down the hill to meet him halfway.

Jinyoung looked at you, eyes dead, and your brows furrowed. “(Y/N).”

“Jinyoungie? What’s wrong?” You reached out, hands fisting in his cotton shirt sleeve. “Why do you look so mad?”

“I have a family.” What? “I have family,” Jinyoung repeated as if he read the look on your face.

Your lips pulled down into a frown, feeling a burn behind your eyeballs. You don’t want to cry, but you might. Having family means he would leave, and you’d be stuck here by yourself. “But I don’t want you to go,” you whined, the words coming out more choked than you’d like.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “Well, I have a family. I want to find them. They’re the key to reclaiming my position as prince. You remember, you have to. All those things I told you. And the gift, remember it?”

You nodded, letting go of him and shoving your hand in your pocket and bringing out the book he gave you. It was an odd show of affection, but it had been your fourteenth birthday and Jinyoung had found you crying in the closet because the other kids had pulled your hair and called you names. It was filled with drawings and notes upon drawings and notes of these bodies Jinyoung called robots. It was a little weird but you still loved it.

“Well, it’s important. And you gotta keep it safe.” Jinyoung assured you, and you nodded again. “Look, I’m being serious.” He had such a look of determination on his face for an eighteen-year-old, you suddenly felt small in comparison.

You sighed heavily. There would be no stopping him. Jinyoung took your silence as assent and he turned around to leave. “Wait, Jinyoung,” you said again, and Jinyoung turned back. “You know, I like you a lot.”

Jinyoung smiled slightly, a rare occurrence. “I know.” His hand lifted and planted itself on the top of your hair. “Thanks for listening to me.” He leaned in and your breath hitched as his full lips planted itself on your cheek.

You couldn’t move, not even when Jinyoung pulled back and offered you a wide grin before heading back down the hill. You stayed up on the hill ‘til evening when the mistress of the orphanage called for you, and when you headed to bed without even having dinner, the other kids laughed at you. But you didn’t care.

He kissed you. Even if it was just on the cheek, and you’re probably never going to see him again, he kissed you. He likes you back. Maybe he’ll come back and marry you when the time comes. You clutched the little book close as you fell asleep. Jinyoung will return, you could feel it. You knew it.

And he did return, just not in the way you expected.

You had just turned twenty-one and from in the closet of where you hid, you could hear shouts and cries. This was not how you had wanted your birthday to go. When the morning of had come you were waiting anxiously in the early morning at the gates of the orphanage as you had done for the past two years on your birthday, hoping Jinyoung would come.

But strange men in suits had come instead, telling you to go fetch the mistress, and you had gone to her. You had thought maybe they had come to get one of the boys, so you waited inside for them to leave so that you could come to the gates again. They talked with the mistress and it seemed they had reached a conclusion, so you thought they might leave. But they didn’t leave.

They pulled out a gun and shot the mistress right in the face.

The kids watching at the door and outside screamed, but you couldn’t go out and save them. You didn’t have time before more men swarmed the courtyard, grabbing the kids and shoving them down before pulling out their guns. You couldn’t look.

The kids inside were still here and you needed to help them. The mistress would be angry if you didn’t.

You shoved the children inside closets, under cupboards, in wardrobes, anywhere they would fit. Only then when they were all hidden and you could see the big oak door entrance start to shake violently did you run.

You found yourself in the boy’s side of the orphanage, in Jinyoung’s old room. What a sick irony. But you had no time to wait, the clamor was getting closer. You shoved your way inside his wardrobe, thick shirts from the kids who replaced him over and over getting in your way. But it was dark and it felt safer than under the bed.

It wasn’t safe enough, though. The closet door opened and you were yanked out so hard you thought your bone might pop out of your shoulder. The men had found you.

“We found another one!” One of the three men in the room poked his head out the door and called to someone. “It might be the one you’re looking for, sir! She looks like it!”

You struggled, but it’s no use. The men are too strong and one of them backhanded you, the gun he held slamming into your jaw. You cried out from the sharp pain, but they just hit you again. “Shut up,” the man gripping you hissed, “you’re only making this harder on yourself, little girl.”

You clenched your eyes shut, waiting, waiting for pain or death, when footsteps entered the room and a familiar voice was heard. “(Y/N).”

Your eyes flitted open. “Jinyoung?” you ask in a hoarse, broken voice. “What– what are you doing here?”

Jinyoung, now twenty-one, smiles at you but there is nothing positive in his eyes. Just cold, hard, greed. “(Y/N),” he repeats, “you’ve grown up well. Happy birthday.”

Your eyes welled up, unsure whether to be happy he remembered or disgusted he did this. This was not the determined eighteen-year-old boy you knew all those years ago. “Jinyoung?” you repeated again, voice cracking. Jinyoung smiled a little wider, taking a step closer. “Why are you here?”

“(Y/N),” he tsked, “don’t be so sad. This orphanage never did anyone any good. They keep you here to be married off, and when they don’t get you married off, they keep you for free labor. Tell me, how long have you been here? Six years? More? So why haven’t you left? You had all the chances you could.”

You didn’t even know how to respond, only weakly saying his name once more. Jinyoung rolled his eyes and sneered. “Stop calling me like a child who just learnt their parents’ names. Look, I’ll just cut to the chase. Give me the notebook.”

You blinked up at him. “Notebook?” Jinyoung hissed through his teeth, stepping closer and grabbing your jaw with his hand. He wrenches your chin up and you can feel your neck strain as you’re forced to meet his eyes.

“The damn notebook, (Y/N). God, you’re so fucking stupid. The notebook. I entrusted. To you.” Your eyes shook looking up at Jinyoung. He was unhinged, so, so angry, and you hated him.

“It’s in my room,” you croaked out, and Jinyoung slipped into an easygoing smile with a bat of an eye.

“Good girl,” he crooned, and you felt sick. “Now, take us to it and I’ll let you go.”

You stood shakily, legs weak. How did this happen? You wanted to cry but you were so damn scared. When you stepped out in the hallway, you almost collapsed again. Bodies of the employees and the children here littered the hallway and it was only the grip of one of the men that kept you upright.

Jinyoung tsked again, hand moving to your shoulder where he dug his fingers in uncomfortably. “Stand up straight, (Y/N). Hasn’t the orphanage taught you anything? I could just kill you right now and find the notebook myself.”

You couldn’t respond, eyes trained on the wall in front of you. You could not look down. You must not. If you looked, you fear you would kill yourself. You lead them silently through the hallways until you stop at your room next to the headmistress’s. You unlocked the door with shaking hands, and you could feel your heart cry at the sight before you.

The children who were hiding under your bed were strewn across the floor, blank, dead eyes looking up at the ceiling. You could barely move, and Jinyoung sighed at your almost-catatonic state. “Go on, (Y/N),” he said with barely concealed impatience. “Go get me the notebook.”

It’s only when the other man shoved you did you stumble toward your pillow, feet heavy and tripping over the bodies strewn across the floor. The notebook– it was inside your pillowcase and you drew it out quietly.

When you turned around with the small, worn notebook in your hands, Jinyoung’s eyes lit up. He leaned forward and basically grabbed it, flipping through it fervently with a sick, twisted smile on his face. “Finally,” he breathed, “finally.”

He stood there for an almost uncomfortably long amount of time, flipping through before landing and staring at a page. With a sinking feeling in your gut, you knew which part it was. After a few minutes, Jinyoung finally turned to the men standing right at the door. “Leave us,” he commanded, and despite their obvious uncomfortableness with the command, they left you two in the room alone.

Jinyoung stared at you for a moment before thrusting the notebook at you, opening to the page you had dreaded. “Read,” he commanded again.

“Why?” you asked, but Jinyoung shook his head and you cleared your throat slightly before reading aloud what you had written. The journal entries you added once a year on your birthday until today. “Entry one. Jinyoung is gone, am I happy about it? No, but maybe he’ll come back.” The words were choked, and Jinyoung tsked again.

“Clearer.” You coughed lightly, eyes quavering with unshed tears.

“I want him to return and marry me. I want to smile at his side. I miss Jinyoung. It’s only been a few hours but I want to hear his stories again. He’s a sky prince. Will he return? I must believe he shall, for if he won’t I know that butcher from the village will ask me to be his. I don’t like him that much, he gets mad when I’m dreaming about things that are out of my reach”—the first tear slipped down your face and you quickly scrubbed it away with your palm—“but I’m sure Jinyoung will return.

“He has to,” you continued with your resolve weakening and more tears falling down your face, “because I love him. In all those children’s books, they say love trumps all. I want Jinyoung to come and yell at the kids teasing me like he used to. I just want him back.”

Jinyoung sighed, hands coming out and cupping your face in his big hands. You flinched but Jinyoung paid no mind, thumbs gently brushing the tears away. How could he? How could he come here and kill all the people you cared for and then just treat you so softly? “Continue,” he ordered once more, but his voice was a lot quieter.

“Entry two. Jinyoung isn’t back, but I’ll wait until next year. I’ll be old enough to marry then, and he’ll come and take me away. The butcher is getting impatient. He keeps coming to talk to the headmistress about me, and I’m never allowed to listen in. Where is Jinyoung? Even though he was a little mean to me, he still made sure I was all right. After all, I was the only one who listened to him. Why can’t he come to visit?

“Entry three.” Jinyoung’s hands were still on your face and you refused to lift your eyes from the book. You don’t think you could look at him after what he had done. “The butcher asked me to marry him. I said no and he hit me.” You could feel Jinyoung tense, fingers pressing into the hollows of your cheeks slightly. “The headmistress was angry with him, but he still waits at the gates sometimes to look for me. I try not to go out anymore. Where’s Jiny-”

“Stop,” Jinyoung hissed, hands dropping from your face and grabbing the book back. “Don’t read it anymore. Instead, tell me.” His voice shakes almost imperceptibly as if he’s trying not to become the eighteen-year-old he once was. “Why did you write in it?”

Your lips tightened, you still refused to lift your head to look at Jinyoung. “I missed you. I was young, lonely, and I loved you.” Jinyoung’s hand grabbed your jaw again, forcing you to meet his eyes. They still didn’t show any affection for you, but you’re rather glad about that. If he looked at you with love you might have forgiven him.

“Do you still?” The question made your lips quirk up. How could he ask you this now? Your eyes shifted to the side; you could hardly stand to look at his cold eyes.

“Maybe under different circumstances, I would.” The answer was enough for Jinyoung and he dropped his hand once more. He turns away, but you can’t help but ask him one more question. “Why didn’t you kill me?”

Jinyoung looked back at you, something akin to pity flashing across his stony face, and he stepped closer again, leaning closer. You flinch back but his hands dart out again, holding you still as he presses his lips to yours. Unlike the first kiss you had received from him, your heart didn’t beat in excitement, only in fear and disgust. There was no feeling as if Jinyoung was only trying to see if he would feel any different.

He lets you go after a moment, pulling back with an unreadable expression on his face. “Maybe if I stayed here, I would’ve married you. But I had left and I only knew you as the girl for whom I owed a favor. I suppose it was some sort of wishful thinking. Never will happen again, probably.” Your heart dropped.

If he stayed, this never would’ve happened. He would have been yours. But he’s unrecognizable now. Greedy, evil, you hate him. Jinyoung laughed at the expression on your face. “Don’t look like that, (Y/N). Be glad I kept you alive. And don’t worry about the butcher anymore.”

You didn’t move, almost in a sort of parody from when he first told you he was leaving. You didn’t move until long after he left the room and the sun was rising to its position in the middle of the sky. Only then did you have the courage to move. The bodies were still strewn across the grounds and you couldn’t help but cry for each and every one of them.

Fifteen kids, you remembered the count. Fifteen kids and all of them dead. Fifteen children and their mistress, the workers, all dead. Only you were alive and you didn’t want it. The village was just as quiet, when you had left the gates of the orphanage no one came out.

But when you approached the center, one lone woman came out, eyes burning with hatred and tears. It was the butcher’s sister. “You killed him,” she cried shakily, a finger pointing at you accusingly. “You sent that man to kill him.”

You can barely hear her, your own heartbeat thrumming in your ears. But the words struck you. “He– Jinyoung? He killed–” She nodded angrily once more.

“He came, saying he was doing a favor for you, and shot him point blank. You told him to,” she screeched, and you flinched. She took an angry step towards you, and you took one back.

“I didn’t– No, of course I–” you pleaded, “I didn’t know– He didn’t tell me, I told him nothing.” The sister shrieks, in fury or anguish, you don’t know, and lunges at you. She doesn’t get far when someone else runs out and holds her back. You recognize him too, the son of the village elder. His name escaped you at the moment, and it would only be years later, when you tell the story to your grandchildren, that his name was Jackson.

He sighed, shaking his head at you. “I don’t think you caused this,” he started to say slowly, “but I don’t think the village will believe you. I cannot save you from their wrath. You need to leave now. I can give you time until sundown, but leave.” His face tightened at your expression; you didn’t know what face you’re making.

You didn’t even have time to register when he pulled the sister back inside and left you standing out there in the open. Only then did you realize that while the town yard was empty, eyes were staring at you through the windows and the doors. He was right, they blamed you. Who else, when all the others in the orphanage were dead? Maybe Jinyoung thought he was doing you a favor in some twisted way, but his life wasn’t the one upended, it was yours.

You ran all the way back home in a fit of panic, pulling out the lone suitcase you had and shoving everything you can into it. Maybe if you had paused for a moment, you would have changed your mind because you certainly wanted to die after seeing what you saw. But this wasn’t the way you wanted to go. Maybe you didn’t deserve it, but you wanted to live.

Walking out of the town after spending almost all of your life in it was strange. You didn’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, you were happy you were gone from this hellhole, but on the other, you hated yourself for causing the death of someone. Why would Jinyoung do this? That was the lone question on your mind. Did he cause all this just for the damn notebook?

Your heart ran cold thinking about Jinyoung. What happened to him? Sure, when he still lived at the orphanage was cold-hearted and often just flat-out mean, but he still had some sense of morality. But not he just went on a rampage, killing every child in the orphanage because of what reason? It couldn’t have been spite.

What changed him? You shivered, remembering his cold eyes as they looked at you like you were just another person in his way. And maybe you were. But then, why would he kill the butcher? A favor? In return for keeping care of his notebook?

You shivered again, not up and down your spine, but from the cold. It was November, not quite winter yet but it certainly felt like it. The orphanage was always warm in the winter so you hadn’t the need for coats, but now you regretted it. With only a worn shawl around your shoulders, you were uncomfortable in the bitter wind.

If you died from the cold now, you wouldn’t be opposed. You had been walking for hours; night had settled over the trees and the temperature dropped by the minute. Death seemed like a good option, and maybe it would give you peace of mind about Jinyoung.

You may not be given peace of mind, but your brain did stop thinking about Jinyoung when your ankle rolled and you started falling down the steep hill you had been so carefully walking along the edge of. Sharp rocks bruised and scraped your body as you tumbled down what seems to be everlasting.

Only when you slammed into the side of what seems to be a stone wall did you come to a halt. You could hardly move, aching all over and your eyes fluttered shut. Everything hurt and you just wanted to die. You could hear a lantern jangle but you didn’t even have the energy to call out for who it was. You only feebly curled into yourself and let the pain overcome you and turn everything muddy, and then to black.

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chowyunnafat · 2 years

Text

Le Grand Bleu (Part 2)

le grand bleu (part 2) 💙

alt. title: everyday is like friday

•••

Jannine didn’t think the hazing, i. e. bullying, would kick off like this.

Right when she stepped foot on Hnung Uni’s campus she’d already started getting these weird or curious looks. Even one girl gave her the stank eye like she was the gum stuck on the bottom of her shoe.

Even so, she made it to admissions on time and was able to secure a dorm. While there, she asked the office lady if by any chance there was an individual by the name of Kunpimook who attended this college. But the lady only responded with, “How should I know? Is it my job to know each student here?”

And she left it at that.

Her roommate apparently was MIA at the moment. How she knew? A couple of individuals had greeted her at the front door, handing her a basket that was for a Nicha. “You’re in dorm room D59?” One girl asked. “Khun?”

Jannine nodded with a smile. “Would you like for me to make sure Nicha receives these gifts?”

The second girl in the entourage nodded happily. “Oh! And this is for you too!”

“‘Bath Gift’?”

“Yes.”

Jannine smiled. “Khxb khun (thank you),” She said with a slight bow of her head.

Once she reached the room, she opened the door and entered. It was average size and spacious. Based on observation, she determined that the left side of the room was hers.

After she set up all her things, including the ocean night light, and her dress-form for her designs, she grabbed her bath gifts, pajamas, and towel, and walked to the bathroom down the hallway where the showers were located.

•••

The alarm clock from the phone blared loudly. And Jannine was up in no time. Even though she had been VERY tempted to throw her phone across the room and smash it to a million pieces and tighten her comforter around her.

Yet, as she finished her outfit off with a cute rainbow cardigan. She’d looked in the mirror. And she was not expecting—

“Blue hair!!” She exclaimed. “I have—she looked at the mirror as she touched her ponytail—blue hair!”

She cursed loudly before realizing she might be making too much of a ruckus for her roommate…who still wasn’t here.

Either way, Jannine could only think of important matters. Like why her hair looked like the dog from Blue’s Clues threw up on her head.

“This can’t be happening,” She mumbled, toning down on the dramatics. “This has to happen on the first day?!”

Before she could even have a chance to check if this was a dye job that only lasted maybe a day (?), she received an alert on her phone stating that classes started in 10 minutes.

Damn it.

•••

Her stomach grumbled, so she let her stomach and nose lead her all the way to the campus cafe. Despite it being only a little past 12:00 pm. There wasn’t much people yet.

She stepped in line behind two girls. As they ordered their food, she rummaged through her wallet with smiley faces on it. “Where’d I put that baht?”

Right when she was able to fish a couple bills out of her wallet, she was roughly shoved out of line when a few guys stepped in front of her, their backs facing her.

“Hey!” Jannine shouted. “I was in line first!”

One of the guys in the entourage turned around, and smirked. “No. I’m pretty sure we were.”

Jannine balled her hands up into fists. “No. I was.”

The guy continued to smirk. Hardly fazed by her determined response. If all, he may have found it more funny than anything.

“What’s it look like cutie?” He asked. “I’m standing in front of you. Not behind.”

The girls who were in front of her before, had gotten their food, walking past her. She called out to them. “Hey, luh. Was I behind you two before this jerk-off and his cavemen stepped in front of me?”

The girls’ eyes widened almost comically.

Suddenly, all eyes were on her and the cafeteria was quiet. Hear-a-pin-drop quiet.

“Chaw tang chati?!” He exclaimed. “You’ve got nerve.”

“Wa ngina?”

“Blue hair, don’t care?!” He mocked. “Go away. We didn’t cut in front of you.”

She frowned. “But I was in line first. You can’t just cut in front of me and expect me not to say anything.”

“It doesn’t matter,” He said smugly. “You’re still behind. And well, I just don’t care enough to continue this convo. So…?”

He turned around, ignoring her further protests. She would’ve started crying, but her annoyance and embarrassment prevented the tears. She grabbed a handful of noodles sopping with orange sauce from a passer-bys lunch tray and she stuck it to the jerk’s head.

If you’d asked Jannine if she regretted her decision at that moment, she would’ve told you, “Absolutely not! No regrets!” But if you’d asked her if she was expecting what came next, she would’ve been more honest and replied, “No. No, I did not.”

He ended up touching his head, turning around, and once he saw what was on his hand, he looked at her with annoyance.

He pushed her to the ground, which caused a chain reaction almost. As she fell on the ground, her foot was stuck out (i.e. in the way), and as a result a passer-by tripped resulting in them getting the tray of food on another passer-by.

No. A food fight did not break out.

But somehow, like falling dominoes a chain of events followed: someone ended up getting their leg broke, or a neck sprain, or gum in their hair, and the Headmaster was going to need her suit dry cleaned.

•••

“He and his friends cut me in line,” Jannine said calmly. “No matter how nicely I spoke he wouldn’t play fair.”

The headmaster gave her a tight smile.

But then the person whom Jannine blamed for the lunchroom mishap spoke, “Headmaster don’t listen to her! I was the victim. Do you see this?!”

He turned his head to show her the orange sauce residue on his hair. “All the proof you need to kick her out of here!”

Jannine guffawed in a fake manner. “You NG. You waste of a human being.”

“Whatever. I’m just glad the food didn’t stain my hair like the blue monstrosity on you—“

“QUIET!”

Both students stopped fighting and turned to the headmaster.

“Others and myself hold Hnung Uni in high regard. All students are top-level. Destined to succeed in the kingdom.” She cut her eyes at Jannine. “But I cannot and will not let two badger fools in this establishment ruin that.”

She then cut her eyes at the “Xi Ngoi” (“dumbass”, nickname courtesy of Jannine). “I expected more from you. If your father wasn’t an alumnus, I would’ve never had you step foot here.”

Jannine was too annoyed to note the look of incompetence and failure that crossed her new enemy’s face. After all, her experience was that of a loser so far.

“You two will clean the mess hall for the rest of the school year, and you will be participating together in the end of the school year talent festival.”

“What?!” They both shouted in unison.

The headmaster smiled, her teeth a blinding light of white. “What better way to show the infinite solidarity amongst Hnung Uni’s students? You both have mess hall cleaning duty all school year long, and what better way to tie it in a neat little bow, by showing off your talents and partnering up at Chi Time Festival.”

I hate this Xi Ngo.

As she gave him the stank eye, and him in return. The headmaster stood up. “You both are dismissed. Meanwhile…” She grabbed her white blazer. “I will go and have this dry cleaned. It was my favorite one too.”

•••

It was dinner time, and Jannine chewed her food. She glared at “Xi Ngo”. He sat and laughed with his friends happily, and threw a piece of croquet at one of his friends.

“His name is BamBam,” Lisa whispered. “But everyone knows that’s not his real name.”

On a good note, Jannine had made friends with the individual’s whose food she used to leave Xi Ngo’s hair a mess.

The pretty individual had greeted her nicely outside of the Headmaster’s office. “Sa wa dee ka, cha chu Lalisa. But please do call me Lisa.”

Jannine raised a brow, glancing over at the very person who’d practically embarrassed her on her first day of uni.

“He’s not very nice,” Jannine said. “He doesn’t even say thank you when someone holds the door for him. Jerk.”

Lisa frowned. “I think you’re being a little pre-judgmental. Especially for being the new person.”

Jannine rolled her eyes. “How do you think he was towards me? He didn’t even think I was Thai.”

Her classmate was at a loss for words it seemed. But she firmly shook her head in disagreement. “He only treated you like that for some reason. He’s reasonably nice I’d say.”

“So, you’re justifying his behavior?”

“No. He was definitely being a jerk. But for some reason you made him mad.”

Jannine would have responded if it hadn’t been for the fried rice that was suddenly covering her chest. She looked up and came face to face with a girl who definitely had serious eyeliner game.

As she wiped the rice off her chest, she looked up at the perpetrator.

“You whore,” She said to Jannine, point blank. “You think you’re real slick.”

“Wa ngina (excuse me)?”

“Chan tid xang hrux pela (did I stutter)?”

Jannine stood up, indicating she wasn’t backing down. “I know you weren’t talking to me.”

“Then you must have really bad hearing.”

“No. I can hear quite well. You just aren’t intelligent.”

As the staring contest intensified, Lisa started speaking in Jannine’s ear. “She’s Milli. Her real name is Danupha Khanatheerakul. And you should probably back down now. I heard she caused a girl to need plastic surgery and transfer schools.”

Jannine scoffed, still looking Milli in the eye without fear (even though her hands were shaking, and she got this really sick feeling in her stomach). "Well, that isn't gonna be me."

Passers-by and fellow students looked on. Waiting for either party to strike. As Milli stepped forward, Jannine prepared to make an evasive maneuver…

The bell rang.

•••

Jannine slapped the cleaning rag over her shoulder, as she scrubbed the floor on her knees using a sponge from the bucket. “I hate this.”

BamBam wiped the table begrudgingly. But he was half-assing it more than she was. He just wiped in a zig zag line at each table and called it a day.

He hadn’t said one word to her. But she was okay with that. She wanted to be done with cleaning as quick as possible.

Before you know it, she was bagging up the trash in the trash cans, and he was closing the blinds. And they were done.

•••

Jannine examined the letter, running her fingers across the Thai script.

Who was Sifa? And why couldn’t she locate the sender? All she knew was that his name was Kunpimook and Sifa had broke his heart.

Glumly, Jannine took out her textbooks and notebooks. Fully prepared to do her work, but not mentally. Not when there was a heartbroken individual out there who may have possibly made himself disappear.

Just as she was half-heartedly starting to answer questions part of the homework, there was a knock at the door.

Jannine didn’t get up from her bed at first. Then the knock came again. Since she was new here, and Lisa pretty much said she was the pariah. She shouted, “Nicha’s not here!”

The person continued to knock. “If you’re here for Nicha,” Jannine tried again. “She’s not here!”

Soon after, a voice followed with, “I know! I- I was just wanting to let you know that a party is happening in the guy’s dorm, in case you were interested!”

Jannine raised a brow. A party? Where she could possibly find Kunpimook. In case he really did show up for the semester, and the homeowner Tom’s help wasn’t in vain.

As though a lightbulb had gone off in her head, Jannine jumped off her bed, running over to the door and swinging it open. “Party?”

The messenger, who looked to be just a few years older than her (if not the same age), nodded her head; which was full of purple hair with faint yellow streaks.

The messenger nodded even though one could tell that she was freaked out by Jannine’s sudden interest in the party. “Yeah.”

“Great!!” Jannine exclaimed, clapping while jumping up and down. “Thank you so much…?”

The girl smiled. “My name is Sutatta Udomsilp. But you can just call me PunPun.”

“Jannine,” The blue haired girl replied warmly. “So, PunPun, the party is happening, like right now?”

Her new friend nodded in the affirmative. “Ka. It is.”

Jannine clapped her hands again. “Gimme just a sec!”

As she ran around the room like a chicken with its head cut off, she failed to hear PunPun’s words: “That didn’t mean I was gonna wait for you.”

As she put on a pair of Fila sneakers and half-heartedly combed through her hair that was still dyed blue, Jannine said to PunPun, “Are these dorm fraternizations allowed?” She then quickly put on a thick amount of eyeliner and TRIED contouring. It was a fail. But she soldiered on with a moderate application of blue lipgloss on her lips.

PunPun laughed. “No. But Headmaster is out for a holiday event that’s happening back in Isan, and the administration tends to get lazy with discipline. Except for that one foreign admin who likes to carry a big stick around when policing the campus.”

Jannine finished rubbing in the pencil marks on her face, and turned around to face PunPun. “How do I look?”

PunPun raised a brow. “You actually look decent.”

Jannine frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know…” PunPun murmured. “But uh, the party is in full swing already, I think. We should go.”

“Oh.” Jannine grabbed her Fanny pack and walked over to the door. “Plxy man pi! (Let’s go).”

•••

PunPun had been right. The party was in full swing already.

The latest Kpop tunes blared from the speakers, as someone made a show of their dance moves. Yellow and purple party decorations adorned the main space; from strobe lights to refreshments.

“The guy dorm looks nicer than the girl dorm.”

Her newfound friend nodded in agreement. “Yeah. But we have better plumbing.”

Jannine laughed.

“PunPun?”

Jannine and PunPun looked to the person who had spoken.

“PunPun—Is that you?”

Jannine looked at her. “Do you know him?”

PunPun shrugged. “He’s kinda weird.”

The guy reached them, and gave a small bow with his head. “Sawadee Krup.”

The guy smiled brightly at PunPun before introducing himself to Jannine. “I’m Krist.”

“Hello,” She responded kindly. “I’m Jannine.”

“Jannine?” He said. “You’re PunPun’s new friend?”

Jannine threw her arm around PunPun’s shoulder. “Yes! She’s helped me a lot actually. I’m new here.”

Krist smiled again. “I’m glad.”

PunPun started to speak. “Ka. Uh, Kri—“

“Hello, Party People!” Greeted the MC. “I hope you’re enjoying the party!”

Everyone hooted and hollered.

“Good. ‘Cause it isn’t over yet!”

The crowd then settled and Jannine could only anticipate what was coming next. The DJ began to play a new beat, and out stepped—

“Xi Ngo?!”

PunPun turned and looked at her, surprised. “Huh?! You mean BamBam?!”

He was dancing to the beat with ease. As he did dance move after next, the crowd cheered in complete awe. But Jannine prettily booed. “Get off the stage!”

PunPun shushed her. “Khun. You’ll get drop kicked by Baemis.”

“Baemis?”

PunPun nodded quickly. “Yeah. Apparently, he has a fan club. They call themselves ‘Baemis.’”

Jannine could only make a face of disbelief. “Really?”

PunPun snickered. “Kun, you look like you want to take a shit.”

Jannine swatted at her new friend’s arm. “Take that back!”

So caught up in arguing with PunPun, she failed to notice an individual who was carrying a purple drink in a yellow cup. In result, as Jannine backed up, to avoid a thump from her new friend, she crashed into the individual.

“Khun!” The voice shouted. “This is a new shirt!”

The music stopped. The crowd stopped. Even the lights sort of flickered.

Jannine looked at PunPun, who could only shrug. Slowly, Jannine turned around to face the individual who not only looked uber pissed, but was actually quite handsome. But he didn’t look too happy.

“Can’t you watch where you’re going?” He asked wiping at his yellow shirt. “No wonder people think you’re weird and annoying.”

Jannine had been about to explain herself, but when the handsome guy said those words, she could no longer do so. Not when all eyes were on her; the eyes that said they agreed with him.

“Mai?”

He “Tched” at her like he was an annoyed male lead in a popular Lakorn. “You’ve just got here. And I’m pretty sure no one wants anything to do with you.”

Jannine couldn’t speak.

Before she could insult him, or even worse break down in tears. A voice called out from the stage. “Chittaphon!”

The handsome guy, now Chittaphon, looked to where he heard his name. His facial expression went from smug to angry. “Khun?”

BamBam shrugged, with a blatant smirk. “Everyone’s been saying you’ve wanted to beat me in a dance battle. It’s long overdue, don’t you think?”

Chittaphon smirked, but it had a lot more malice in it. “It’s Ten, Khun.” He started walking towards the stage, forgetting about Jannine who was too mesmerized by the tension between the two peers.

Jannine looked at PunPun, who was just as dumbfounded.

Nonetheless, she looked on as the rest of crowd did.

BamBam smiled in a smug way that was more endearing on his face than others. Despite his ways, Jannine couldn’t help but note how when compared to he and Ten, he looked to be a lot more genuine.

Even though her first meeting with him was a disaster, he told her and showed her exactly who he was.

“You want to go first?” BamBam asked Ten. “Or do you still need some time?”

Ten shook his head. “Nah. I’m ready.”

“Really?”

“Ka.”

“Are you sure!”

“You fucking dipshit. I’m ready.”

BamBam continued to smile. “Okay.”

Ten requested the DJ to play a song in the Top 20. Jannine hadn’t really heard of it, but the crowd of party goers around her roared in excitement.

“I’ll show you what a real dancer looks like.”

Ten then proceeded to execute elaborate dance moves. The crowd “oohed”, “awed”, and clapped. Jannine continued to look on, coming to the overall conclusion that Ten could dance his socks off.

“I bet you can’t beat that,” Ten jabbed. “I’ve actually gotten proper training in dance.”

BamBam smirked and looked away. He then looked at Ten again, and replied, “If that’s what you really think, I’ll let you have that krup.” He then slapped him on the shoulder, giving it a few pats. “Okay DJ put on Jetrin!”

Once the DJ had a song going, BamBam proceeded to dance.

Jannine’s eyes widened. She could only look on in awe as the “Campus Prince” did the damn thing.

“I was really trying to boo him off the stage,” Jannine muttered. “He isn’t that bad.”

With fluidity and confidence, BamBam executed dance move after dance move. Not once did he pause or stop to regain his footing because there was nothing to regain.

Right then and there Jannine thought back to the boy who wrote those letters to Sifa. He’d won the dance finals and was going to attend here. But she hadn’t found him. Maybe she’d ask Krist, or the headmaster herself.

“Kunpimook,” She said to herself. “I bet you’d dance circles around Ten and BamBam.”

The roar of the crowd snapped her out of her thoughts. Jannine saw that BamBam had ended his dance with a pretty cool handstand.

PunPun whistled, laughing and saying, “He managed to beat Ten!”

“You don’t like Ten?” Jannine asked.

PunPun nodded quickly. “He said I looked like a man.”

“Asshole.”

After BamBam was declared the winner, the party commenced once more.

Jannine put on a yellow and purple striped party hat. “Can I get a—“ Jannine paused her words, leaning forward on the bar. “Wait, alcohol is being served here?”

The “bartender” put a finger to his lip and smiled mischievously. “Shh.”

Jannine shrugged. “Can I get a Pilsner?”

The server gave her an incredulous look. “That’s a German drink.”

Blushing, she said, “Actually, I’ll just take a Singha.”

“Hey,” She then said to the server. “Do you happen to know of a Kunpimook here?”

The server raised a brow. “There’s quite a few Kunpimooks,” He said. “What’s the last name?”

“Crap,” Jannine said tapping the bar with her finger. “I forgot. It’s coming to me.”

It was in his first letter to Sifa.

“Minhyuk, can you get me a Cubalibre?”

“Ne, Bam. Sure thing.”

Jannine didn’t even have to see who it was. She needed to move the furthest way from him as possible. Just because she thought he was a great dancer didn’t mean she forgot what he did in the cafeteria. Taking her can of beer, she got up from the bar stool and went to go look for her friend.

The last she heard from PunPun was something about needing to clear things up about a date with Krist.

“Hey!”

Jannine stopped walking and turned around. It was Ten.

He walked up to her with a facial expression of indifference. His shirt was still stained, but he didn’t necessarily have much dignity left after losing the dance battle.

She gave him a curious look with underlying suspicion. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

He then walked off without a word.

•••

“PunPun,” Jannine muttered. “Why’d you leave me alone?”

She was on her second and a half can of beer. For the most part she was holding up quite well, but she wanted to rest her head temporarily.

“Hey Blue Hair.”

Jannine opened her eyes and saw the guy who she threw noodles at the back of his undercut. Unlike the last few times, he wasn’t giving her a look of utter annoyance or irritation. He was just a normal guy with no care in the world.

Yet, she rolled her eyes at him, and grabbed her drink off the table clumsily.

He looked at the drink he held in his hand and took a small sip. He then took a seat next to her. He wasn’t too close to her, nor were their bodies touching. Really, they were just sitting in two separate chairs respectively.

Jannine rested her eyes again.

“You shouldn’t do that at a mixer.”

She opened her eyes again.

BamBam wasn’t looking at her.

“Do what?” She asked. “I’m just resting my eyes.”

“…”

She eventually finished her second can of beer, and reached for the 3rd can that she’d gotten when getting the 2nd.

“You seem like a lightweight,” BamBam commented as he took a sip of his Cubalibre. “That should be your last drink.”

Jannine sipped on the drink, already a giggling mess. She rested her elbow on the arm of the couch it leaned against. “You can dance,” She slurred. “Where’d you learn to dance like that?”

BamBam rested the drink glass in his hand. He took a swig of it before happily replying, “Much of it was self-taught. But my siblings and I fed off from each other. Yet, I really attribute my brothers.”

Jannine nodded, her cheeks flushed. “You know, you’re actually cool.”

“Your blue hair is cool.”

She laughed. “Really? You got to thank all the girls from the dorm.”

“You’re friends with them already?”

Jannine gave him a deadpan look. “Puh-leez, they put blue dye in the shampoo bottle I was using.”

BamBam laughed. “I never got your name.”

“Oh, yeah,” She said taking a sip of her Singha. “It’s Jannine.”

“Oh?”

She nudged him playfully. “Were you expecting something different?” She asked.

“No,” He said with a laugh. “…I can’t figure you out.”

“Figure me out?” She said. “What’s there to figure out?”

“Are you from Thailand?” He asked. “You don’t seem like someone whose lived in the kingdom your whole life.”

Jannine sat up and sobered. “Getting a little too personal there, you think?”

He shrugged. “You can take it whichever way you want. You’re the last minute transfer.”

She took a sip from her can of beer. “I wasn’t born here.” She took another sip. “But I’m still just as Thai as you are.”

He snorted. “I never said you weren’t.”

“I’m going to go get me another beer,” She declared.

“You aren’t even finished with the one in your hand.”

“Leave me alone.”

Jannine then walked back to the bar.

After Minhyuk was done handing out drinks to other peers, he came back to her with a grin on his face. “What can I get you?”

She smiled back with a laugh. “Another one of these,” She said pointing at the beer in her hand. “And a ticket home.”

She looked back at where she sat to still see if BamBam was there.

He was.

He was finishing of his Cubalibre, chatting with a guy and a girl.

•••

Jannine sat up in bed, reaching for her phone on the night stand. But she didn’t feel the nightstand, and the pillow didn’t feel like her pillow. Now that she was coming back to her senses, the smell of the pillow was a bit heavy on cologne.

Therefore, she sat up rod straight and looked at her “pillow”. It was Campus King BamBam. Or as she commonly referred to him as, Xi Ngo (Dumbass).

He was still in his clothes from last night, as well as her.

Yet, instead of mulling over that for too long a sharp pain in her head hit all at once. “Urgh,” She groaned. “I think I’m sick.”

Nausea hit her, and she ran to the trash can and barfed. “I hate my life” she groaned as she threw up again.

She felt disgusting as she hugged the trashcan. She settled into the corner of the room. Temporarily unaware of her surroundings. Then she heard a groan coming from where she laid awhile ago.

“Xi Ngo!” She said loudly. “This is all your fault!”

BamBam rubbed his temples, but he didn’t look like he was going to puke anytime soon. Instead, he rolled his eyes, stood up, walked over to his dresser, and took a medicine bottle off of it.

He walked over to Jannine, and put his fingers to his nostrils, so he wouldn’t smell her throw up. “Here.” She took the B6 vitamin from him. “I’ll go get you some water.”

He walked to the door that lead to the hallway. He opened the door, walked out, and closed it.

“Why isn’t he sick?“ She said to herself. “He probably got me drunk on purpose. This is so humiliating.”

She closed her eyes, and for awhile she even dozed off. Until someone was shaking her awake.

“Huh?”

BamBam handed her a bottle of water. “Drink up and take the vitamin.”

He then took the trashcan away from her, and walked out the room again.

She put the B6 on her tongue, unscrewed the top of the water bottle, took a sip, and the vitamin went down. It hurt to even swallow because of the headache.

She eventually stood up and walked over to the bed to retrieve her phone.

It was right after 6 am, and classes started in one hour.

Dammit.

The feeling of nausea hit her again, and before she could puke once more, BamBam was back at her side with the trashcan.

•••

Part 3

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fire-loser · 2 years

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Open the curtains: the best leader is here 120 X 120

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kakurelit · 6 months

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I just published " 𝙰𝚛𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚊 " of my story " Yugyeom's Week ". https://www.wattpad.com/1396120444?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=Kakure&wp_originator=8xy%2BP%2F8oYTNCN1s0Bn1hrcFLLhSMKzwK5Sumtaljocw3qw88hUQT9RwVzT2lVBbvh3DY7OT5ul5EJRAPXm77js9a0Tv8Z3fz%2B2yXxTZQTHkxLRg2XUFHu6fA2YPyfwHj

#got7 #got7 fanfic #kim yugyeom #yugyeom #jay b #lim jaebeom #mark tuan #park jinyoung #choi youngjae #bambam #lgbtqia #mlm #bellas artes

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ersatzworlds · 11 months

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Things We Carry (1940s!au letter fic)

A/N: I wrote this almost a year ago for a personal writing challenge. The prompt was "things we carry", hence the title. I had GOT7's Jay B in mind while writing it (altho it was before he even enlisted lol), but really it could apply to any of your favs that have enlisted in the army. Hope you enjoy!

Genres: Kinda fluffy? Letter format

Word count: 319

Warnings: Mention of war

May 22, 1944

My dearest,

At the time of writing, it has been many weeks since you left suddenly with most of the men of the town. I have prayed for your safety every day since your departure, yet still I have worried for you. It has truly brought me great joy and relief to have received your letter, and I could not delay sending you a reply as soon as I read it.

Your mother and I have been keeping each other company. She sits right by me as I write. We have discussed together your gentle soul not suiting combat. It is hard to imagine you carrying arms. A good book in your hands suits you much better. I send with this letter some of your favourite books from your library. I hope they help you pass the time and lift your spirits.

If that doesn't help, I hope that news of our good health reassures you. Your mother and I have gone downtown yesterday to visit the old Dr. K. Mother is stronger than ever, and I myself am holding up well. While we were out, we also had our pictures taken by the photographer down the street, and, as you requested, I send those with this letter too.

If this still does not bring you enough comfort, my dear, because I know you worry for us, perhaps the idea of your darling wife carrying your child helps you. Your mother wanted me to keep this secret until your return, but when Dr. K confirmed my pregnancy, I knew that I must share this blessed news with you. I hope for the fighting to end soon so that when our child is birthed into the world, we may meet them together.

I long for your embrace, my dear. I sit in wait on your reading chair. My heart burns for you every day.

Your darling xx

#t: things we carry #kpop writing #jay b #got7 #day6 #astro #bts #exo #winner #sf9 #vixx #a.c.e #monsta x #war letter fanfic #1940s au #230521

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limjaeseven · 7 months

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Antidote

Pairing: Jaebeom X Mark / Jaebeom X Youngjae

Genre: Angst, Romance

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1,362

Summary: Things haven't been looking up for Jaebeom for for god knows how long. Mark was the one person who was supposed to make things better, but there was a limit even to that.

Warning(s): Mental breakdowns, self neglect

[a/n]: So I haven't posted anything in ages even though I have nearly 20 fics piled up from the past two years. I'm finally taking the initiative to post them (fingers crossed). This fic was originally written for the kpop bingo collab which closed a while back but here it is anyways. I hope you enjoy!

Jaebeom didn’t know when it went from just a bad day every now and then to struggling to get out of bed every morning. Things were going fine, and the next thing he knew, they weren’t.

Coming home to his boyfriend Mark used to be his favourite part of the day, but their small quarrels had become fights that left them not sharing a word for days. Jaebeom didn’t have the energy to keep the distance but Mark drew his lines thick and deep, and Jaebeom couldn’t cross them till his boyfriend let him.

Work went from good to alright to a struggle gradually enough that Jaebeom didn’t even realise he was spending one, two, three more hours at work every night. Every day there would be too many files to go through, too many calls to make, too many meetings to attend, too much to do. The stress was making his hair fall out but he just kept going, hoping that just after this project, the next project, the project after that, things would get better.

His steps went from confident and fast paced to dragging, every movement a struggle against his body telling him to stop, to catch a break, to just give everything up.

“So you’re taking the day off for our anniversary, no?” Mark asked from across the dinner table. They had just gotten out of their last fight which consisted of doors slammed in each other’s faces, leaving late at night and coming back early in the morning without informing the other, and a week of eating meals seperately.

“I told you, I really can’t. This client is too important.” Jaebeom knew that the respite from the fight was short, that they would go back to doing what they were doing by midnight.

Mark sighed, frustrated. “I never ask you for anything, Jaebeom. I just want us to spend one day together. It’s our fifth anniversary, doesn’t that mean something to you?”

Nearly on the verge of tears, Jaebeom tried to hold himself together as he spoke. “I know hyung,” Jaebeom knew him using honorifics on the older would relay to him how serious he was, “But there’s nothing I can do. Even if I asked for a holiday my boss would reject it. I can’t lose this job, it’s everything I have. You know how much I love you but I just can’t do this for you. We can plan something for the weekend after, maybe?”

Mark looked conflicted, understanding his boyfriend on an intellectual level but the primal part of him hurt and torn apart, that his lover couldn’t spare him one day when it mattered the most.

“We both know that you’ll be busy on the weekend too, you don’t have time for me anymore. Not talking to you when you’re home is futile because you never even are. I know your job is hectic and meaningful to you, Jaebeom, but I need to see you, spend time with you, talk to you to be able to be with you. If I’m just seeing you twice a week in our home and we’re fighting for most of it, there’s no point in us going on like this.”

Jaebeom knew what those words meant but he couldn’t accept it. There was no way Mark was implying that, was there? He wouldn’t ever think of such a thing, would he? Mark had been his better half for as long as he could remember. They were practically married, they were ride or die, right?

The world came closing around Jaebeom and he couldn’t hold onto anything by the time he realised. His body shook and his throat closed. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear. He was trapped and he didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know how long he sat on the floor of their kitchen, curled in foetal position, with Mark trying to get his breathing to even out. Jaebeom hadn’t had a panic attack in years and it scared both of them.

“Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go,” Jaebeom mumbled over and over again, hands clutching tightly at Mark’s sides. He could see the tears streaming down his lover’s face, and he knew what the expression on his face meant. He knew it was the end and he didn’t know what to do but cry.

Mark left a week later. Jaebeom had just returned from work and he saw the suitcases sitting in the living room. He knew this day was coming for a while, but he still hadn’t entirely processed it. They had spent every evening after that night together, a respectable distance between them as Mark spoke about the end. He wasn’t one to sugar coat, he wouldn’t talk about his day at work and pretend like they weren’t ending the relationship they built brick by brick.

He had stayed a few days longer just to make sure Jaebeom was okay, because even though they weren’t right for each other anymore, Mark still loved him. Still, saying goodbye wasn’t any easier. They hugged each other for what felt like hours, crying quietly into each other’s arms, till Mark had to pull away, his best friend at the door to help him out.

Jaebeom crumbled to the floor the moment the door closed. He slept there that night, waking up well into the afternoon. Emailing his boss an apology, who let him take the rest of the day off, he got to tidying up his house, trying not to cry every time he saw the empty spots where Mark’s things sat.

He knew he should have tried harder, but it was as if his body was working on autopilot and he was just going along on the ride. He knew Mark had every right to leave, that it had been building up for a long time, but it didn’t hurt any less. Jaebeom cried more times that day than he probably had in all of his life.

It was less that two weeks later that he collapsed at work and had to be taken to the hospital. Jaebeom hadn’t been eating, he barely had anything more than coffee to keep himself up and running. His body had finally given in and it took him nearly two days to get back to consciousness. The nurse who looked after him was a woman about his mother’s age, who chided him for being so careless, and convinced him to try therapy out.

Reluctantly, Jaebeom made a visit to the psychiatrist in the hospital where he was admitted, and he had to admit, just talking about what he was going through to someone helped. After he was discharged, he came back once a week, poured his heart out and listened carefully. They put him on some medication and slowly the dark clouds thinned out, sunlight peaking through the cracks.

After one of the sessions, Jaebeom found a man a few years younger than him sitting in the waiting room outside his psychiatrist’s office. He was undeniable pretty, Jaebeom thought, shooting him a quick smile before leaving.

As the weeks passed, he saw the boy over and over again, and they went from friendly waves to small talk between their sessions. Jaebeom found out that the man’s name was Choi Youngjae, that he was only two years younger than him and worked as a piano teacher.

“Hyung, do you want to meet up sometime?” Youngjae asked Jaebeom when the older let him know that his psychiatrist told him he had recovered enough for them to stop the sessions.

Smiling, Jaebeom pulled his phone out and handed it to Youngjae, “I would love to.” He didn’t know if it was too soon, but the way the younger man’s smile lit up his world every time they spoke, he was willing to give it a shot.

#got7writerscollective #rainingmxmnet #got7 fanfic #got7 imagines #got7 mark #got7 jaebeom #got7 jay b #got7 youngjae #angst #got7 angst #got7 #jaebeom #jay b #youngjae #mark

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