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Someone was definitely going to lose a finger with Jared Kleinman wielding a knife. Most likely, Jared himself.
When they were little, Jared’s mom used to buy them those little kids pumpkin carving kits. The kind where you would hammer little clear pegs into the pumpkin and then the candle would light them up. No knives required. That never stopped Jared from hammering something he shouldn’t have.
But now, they were eighteen and Heidi had suggested, or rather insisted, that they should carve pumpkins together this year. She promised it would be fun.
Jared was currently sawing the top off his pumpkin with a strategy that could only be described as ‘wildly unsafe.’
“Will you stop making nervous noises over there?” He said, around the second knife he had clamped in his teeth.
“I just feel like you shouldn’t be holding it like that.” Evan cast one last weary look at Jared’s still intact fingers before turning back to his own pumpkin. He was in the middle of scooping out the seeds, the worst part.
“Got it.” Jared pulled the top off his pumpkin triumphantly. He immediately reached his entire hand into it, coming up with a fistful of seeds and pumpkin guts.
Evan wrinkled his nose. He was using a spoon for his. Although, it wasn’t keeping his hand all that much cleaner than Jared’s.
“Might as well commit Evan.” Jared said, reading his mind. “It’ll take you three days with the spoon.”
Evan sighed and reluctantly set his spoon down. It did go faster using his hands but it felt so, so much worse.
Jared had already moved on to the face by the time Evan started washing his hands. When he walked back to the table, Jared shielded his pumpkin from view.
“Why can’t I see?” Evan asked, spinning his pumpkin to find the best side.
“It’s a surprise.” Jared stuck his tongue out slightly as he focused.
Evan played with the idea of doing something cool and artistic. Something people did for competitions, although his would obviously be a lower quality. Eventually, he settled on a typical jack o’ lantern face. Triangle eyes and a big smile with a few pointy teeth.
He was so engrossed in getting his lines straight he nearly jumped when Jared spoke.
“Can you lift your head for a second?”
Evan did, if only to frown at him. “Why?”
“I’m making mine you.” Jared said, studying Evan’s face before nodding and dropping his eyes back to the pumpkin.
“What do you mean you’re making it me?” Evan tried to look but Jared shoved him away.
“No peeking!”
Evan went back to his own side. Half because Jared had a knife and half because he was surprised Jared was in such a pleasant mood. Pleasant enough to joke around at least. Lately he’d always seemed to be angry about something.
Evan finished his pumpkin before Jared. He poked out the last piece and studied it. It was no masterpiece. It looked like a fifth grader did it. He turned it slightly, as if that would help.
“Finished!” Jared stabbed his knife in the air.
“Cool. Please put that down.”
Jared rolled his eyes but set the knife on the table. He placed his hands on the pumpkin, grinning. “Ready?”
“Ready.” Evan said. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. A sloppy attempt at his hair and eyes with a generic smile? An insanely detailed portrait he didn’t know Jared was capable of?
Jared spun the pumpkin around.
It had two triangle eyes, just like Evan’s. Except instead of a smile, Jared’s pumpkin had a downturned mouth, making it look sad and sort of pathetic.
Jared made a sad face and then smiled. “See? Just like you.”
“Yeah.” Evan sighed. “Nailed it.”
Jared pushed his pumpkin next to Evan’s. “They kinda look like the faces.”
“The faces?”
“Yeah you know,” Jared snapped his fingers. “The happy sad face thing. For like plays.”
“Oh.” Evan looked at the pumpkins. “I guess. I mean, more like that than me.”
“Oh come on. That’s a dead ringer for you.”
Evan rolled his eyes. “Why wouldn’t you do someone who’s like… nice to look at.”
“You’re nice to look at.” Jared said.
When Evan looked at him, which he did immediately, Jared was staring at the table with wide eyes and red cheeks.
“I mean- uh-cause-um.” He was floundering.
“Cause I’m funny looking?” Evan offered.
Jared looked up, meeting his eyes for a second before saying, “Yeah. That’s what I meant.”
Evan nodded. They stood there quietly for a while.
“Are you uh, doing anything?” Evan asked, folding and unfolding a corner of the newspaper they’d put down to protect the table.
“Now?” Jared asked.
“Yeah. Now.”
“Um… no?”
“Cool.” Evan nodded again.
Jared raised an eyebrow. “Did you want to ask me to hang out?”
“No.” Evan lied.
Jared squinted at him. “Fine.” He paused. “Are you doing anything right now?”
Evan shook his head.
“Do you wanna get dinner?”
“Sure.”
“Evan,” Jared cleared his throat. “Do you want to get dinner… with me?”
Evan blinked, not sure he was interpreting Jared’s emphasis correctly. “Um, are you asking-do you mean like as a-“
“Yeah.” Jared shrugged, no longer meeting Evan’s eyes. “Like that.”
“Okay.”
Jared looked at him. “Okay? Like yes?”
“Yes.” Evan looked to what Jared’s hand had been absentmindedly fidgeting with. “You can’t bring the knife though.”
Jared looked down. “Oh. Damn.” He looked back up. “Never mind then.”
Evan laughed nervously. Everything about him felt nervous right now. Not in the usual way though. In a good way. Or at least he thought it was good.
Jared made a big show of setting the knife down and then held his hand out. “Let’s go then.”
Evan stared at his hand.
“You’re supposed to like,” Jared waved his hand at Evan. “You know.”
“Hold it.” Evan guessed.
“Yeah.”
Evan nodded. He wiped his hand on his jeans and then reached out. Jared’s hand was just as sweaty as his.
Jared tightened his grip and pulled Evan out the front door. “I’m gonna have to initiate all this shit with you, aren’t I?”
“Probably.” Evan said without clarifying what ‘this shit’ was.
Jared sighed dramatically. “You’re lucky I’m so cool and suave and-“
Evan kissed him.
Jared was clearly thrown, staring at Evan when he pulled back and blushing furiously.
“There.” Evan cleared his throat, ignoring the flush he felt on his cheeks, and walked around the Jared’s passenger door. “You didn’t have to initiate that.”
Next to Normal - Off West End (Previews) bikinibottomday master Caissie Levy (Diana Goodman), Jamie Parker (Dan Goodman), Eleanor Worthington-Cox (Natalie Goodman), Jack Wolfe (Gabe Goodman), Trevor Dion Nicholas (Dr. Madden / Dr. Fine), Jack Ofrecio (Henry)Notes: Partial 4K capture of this productions second preview. The video ends roughly 10 minutes into Act Two, and runs about an hour and 15 minutes in total. The footage is quite obstructed, especially with action that happens near the front of the stage. Folder includes full audio of the show. Audio fed from external source - 15 Aug 2023 MP4
Cabaret - Fifth West End Revival Lasagna's video Mason Alexander Park (Emcee), Maude Apatow (Sally Bowles), Adam Taylor (u/s Cliff Bradshaw), Beverley Klein (Fraulein Schneider), Teddy Kempner (Herr Schultz), Danny Mahoney (Herr Ludwig), Sally Frith (u/s Fraulein Kost), Ela Lisondra (s/w Frenchie), Toby Turpin (s/w Bobby), Laura Delany (s/w Helga) - Jul 2023 MP4Next to Normal - Off West End Lasagna's video Caissie Levy (Diana Goodman), Jamie Parker (Dan Goodman), Eleanor Worthington-Cox (Natalie Goodman), Jack Wolfe (Gabe Goodman), Jack Ofrecio (Henry), Trevor Dion Nicholas (Dr. Madden/Dr. Fine) - Sep 2023 MP4 NFT UNTIL 14 Aug 2024
The Shark is Broken - Broadway (Previews) bikinibottomday�s master Alex Brightman (Richard Dreyfuss), Ian Shaw (Robert Shaw), Colin Donnell (Roy Scheider) - 25 Jul 2023 MP4
Dear Evan Hansen - West End Lasagna's video Sam Tutty (Evan Hansen), Lucy Anderson (Zoe Murphy), Rebecca McKinnis (Heidi Hansen), Lauren Ward (Cynthia Murphy), Doug Colling (Connor Murphy), Rupert Young (Larry Murphy), Jack Loxton (Jared Kleinman), Iona Fraser (Alana Beck) - Apr 2022 MP4
If you're interested in one or more videos from my collection, please DM me or send me an email at [email protected]
3 dollars per video
Discounts apply for bundles - 2 dollars per video for 10 or more shows
Película
NO TIME TO DIE
Runner-Up: Una Película de Policías
Director
Chloé Zhao | NOMADLAND
Runner-Up: Alonso Ruizpalacios | Una Película de Policías
Actriz
Vanessa Kirby | PIECES OF A WOMAN
Runner-Up: Olivia Colman | The Lost Daughter
Actor
Mahershala Ali | SWAN SONG
Runner-Up: Daniel Craig | No Time to Die
Actriz de Reparto
Youn Yuh-jung | MINARI
Runner-Up: Léa Seydoux | No Time to Die
Actor de Reparto
Shia LaBeouf | PIECES OF A WOMAN
Runner-Up: Alan Kim | Minari
Guión Original
Benjamin Cleary | SWAN SONG
Runner-Up: Kata Wéber | Pieces of a Woman
Guión Adaptado
Jonathan Raymond, Kelly Reichardt | FIRST COW
Runner-Up: Christopher Hampton, Florian Zeller | The Father
Edición
Yorgos Lamprinos | THE FATHER
Runner-Up: Kelly Reichardt | First Cow
Fotografía
Joshua James Richards | NOMADLAND
Runner-Up: Lachlan Milne | Minari
Diseño de Producción
Zsuzsanna Sipos, Patrice Vermette | DUNE
Runner-Up: Paul Abadilla, Noah Klocek, Nathaniel McLaughlin, Kristian Norelius, Don Shank, Garrett Taylor | Luca
Diseño de Vestuario
Jenny Beavan | CRUELLA
Runner-Up: Neysa Bove | Encanto
Make-Up & Hairstyling
Naomi Donne, Nadia Stacey, Julia Vernon | CRUELLA
Runner-Up: Eileen Buggy, Audrey Doyle, Barrie Gower | The Green Knight
Efectos Visuales / Especiales
Brian Connor, Paul Lambert, Tristan Myles, Gerd Nefzer | DUNE
Runner-Up: Chris Corbould, Jonathan Fawkner, Joel Green, Charlie Noble | No Time to Die
Edición de Sonido
David Bach, Clint Bennett, Theo Green, Mark A. Mangini, Ryan Rubin, Dave Whitehead | DUNE
Runner-Up: Hugo Adams, Christopher Benstead, Bryan Bowen, Michael Fentum, Dawn Gough, James Harrison, Eilam Hoffman, Michael Maroussas, Becki Ponting, Oliver Tarney | No Time to Die
Mezcla de Sonido
Mark Appleby, Al Clay, Simon Hayes, Stephen Lipson, Paul Massey, Adam Mendez, Mark Taylor | NO TIME TO DIE
Runner-Up: Ron Bartlett, Doug Hemphill, Alan Meyerson, Thomas J. O'Connell , Mac Ruth, Don White | Dune
Score
Dan Romer | LUCA
Runner-Up: Keaton Henson | Supernova
Soundtrack
SWAN SONG
Runner-Up: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Canción
“No Time to Die” By Billie Eilish, Finneas O’Connell, Performed by Billie Eilish | NO TIME TO DIE
Runner-Up: “Dos Oruguitas” By Lin-Manuel Miranda, Performed by Sebastián Yatra | Encanto
Diseño de Créditos
Daniel Kleinman | NO TIME TO DIE
Runner-Up: Javi Aznarez, Jeff Kryvicky | The French Dispatch
Trailer
Netflix | MALCOLM & MARIE
Runner-Up: Marvel Enterteinment | Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Poster
B O N D | THE GREEN KNIGHT
Runner-Up: Legion Creative | Luca
Poster en Cortometraje
US AGAIN
Runner-Up: Cinco de Junio
Actuación en Cortometraje
Louka Minnella | FAMILLE NUCLÉAIRE
Runner-Up: Luna Carpieux | Un Adieu
Realización en Cortometraje
Pinar Toprak | Score | US AGAIN
Runner-Up: Keone Madrid, Mari Madrid | Coreografía | Us Again
Guión en Cortometraje
Nicolás Cuervo Rincón | ALGO EN EL TEJADO
Runner-Up: Maxime Berthemy, Mathilde Profit | Un Adieu
Dirección en Cortometraje
Miguel Agüero | KIRIRÎ
Runner-Up: Hugo Covarrubias | Bestia
Cortometraje de Ficción
KIRIRÎ
Runner-Up: Un Adieu
Cortometraje Documental
DO NOT SPLIT
Runner-Up: Écoutez-moi
Cortometraje Animado
US AGAIN
Runner-Up: Going Home
Película Animada
LUCA
Runner-Up: Josep
Off-Screen Performance
Jack Dylan Grazer | LUCA
Runner-Up: Jacob Tremblay | Luca
Non-Anglo Performance
Martijn Kuiper | RICOCHET
Runner-Up: Paula Beer | Undine
Performance Mexicano
Mónica del Carmen | UNA PELÍCULA DE POLICÍAS
Runner-Up: Raúl Briones | Una Película de Policías
Featured Actor
Chris Lowell | PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN
Runner-Up: Oliver Jackson-Cohen | The Lost Daughter
Stunts / Choreography
NO TIME TO DIE
Runner-Up: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Breakthrough Actriz
Lauren Ridloff | ETERNALS
Runner-Up: Melissa Barrera | In the Heights
Breakthrough Actor
Simu Liu | SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS
Runner-Up: Anthony Ramos | In the Heights
Rising Filmmaker
Florian Zeller | THE FATHER
Runner-Up: Maggie Gyllenhaal | The Lost Daughter
Ensamble
Daniel Craig, Rami Malek, Léa Seydoux, Ana de Armas, Lashana Lynch, Naomie Harris, Ben Whishaw, Rory Kinnear, Christoph Waltz, Jeffrey Wright, y Ralph Fiennes | NO TIME TO DIE
Runner-Up: Tom Holland, Benedict Cumberbatch, Zendaya, Jacob Batalon, Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, Jamie Foxx, Thomas Haden Church, Rhys Ifans, J.K. Simmons, Benedict Wong, Tony Revolori, Charlie Cox, Marisa Tomei, Andrew Garfield, y Tobey Maguire | Spider-Man: No Way Home
Escena
Dos Oruguitas | ENCANTO
Runner-Up: Final Ascent | No Time to Die
Wide Release
NO TIME TO DIE
Runner-Up: Cruella
Limited Release
FIRST COW
Runner-Up: Vif-Argent
Non-Theatrical Release
SWAN SONG
Runner-Up: Pieces of a Woman
Documental
UNA PELÍCULA DE POLICÍAS
Runner-Up: El Agente Topo
Película Iberoamericana
LA LLORONA
Runner-Up: Los Fuertes
Película Mexicana
UNA PELÍCULA DE POLICÍAS
Runner-Up: I Carry You With Me
15. What’s your favourite plotless fic you have written?
I definitely haven't posted much for my current fandoms yet, but I really like the way Bonfire turned out. It took me months to write but finally broke my publishing slump, and I think I captured the cozy, nostalgic, and semi-melancholic vibe I was going for pretty well.
30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t.
My very first DEH fic was a wildly OOC book-verse Kleinsen oneshot called "Jared Kleinman Tries to Climb as Tree (For Love)." It was about Evan rescuing Jared from a botched promposal. I actually did finish writing the first draft, but I never figured out how to edit it into something decent. I highly doubt that I ever will, but I have shared some excerpts here for shits and giggles.
There's also my very long-abandoned multi-chapter Newsies fics "Dating Jack Kelly" and "My Big Fat Newsies Wedding," which I won't go off about here but people can feel free to ask about if they're interested.
Hey guys! I want to get back onto this blog a bit so I figured that tumblrs “#ShareYourPride” challenge would be fun! But instead of doing them daily (because let’s be real, I WILL forget) I figured I would do this as an ask list! So tell me what days question you would like me to answer and I will be more than happy to!!
Also if you would like me to use these to write head cannons for any of the fandoms I write for feel free to mention that in your ask!!
where Connor is Jack Kelly, because given that Connor is the most authoritative one of the bunch, I think he would be extremely protective of the people he cared about and take initiative to take care of them (and also, Mike Faist hello), Evan is Crutchie, because he would be Connor’s right hand man in a sort of trying-to-be-helpful-but-not-helpful way but also be the group’s source of softness and uwus (while also being a tough cookie who often gets overlooked or underestimated), Alana is Katherine (headstrong lady determined to pursue her passions and career? Yes please), which leaves Zoe as Davey (as the only junior, she’s a bit of an outsider and tends to want to fend for herself and not get involved in others’ business, but she ends up really loving the rest of the crew and also she’s the only one with a brain cell) and Jared as Les (hear me out - he’s the type to have really obscure interests and hobbies and i feel like he would definitely know about the famous Jack Kelly and be super excited to pretend to have a rough, outdoorsy job and feel a part of a ragtag found-family team.)
Masterlist can be found under the cut. I update my masterlist every time I post a new story! Sorted by fandom and then further sorted by character or ship. All oneshots are gender neutral (they/them pronouns) unless otherwise specified. :)
Fantastic Beasts
NEWT SCAMANDER
Stubborn (fluff, comfort (for newt)) - Newt has been working himself to the bone, and you won’t stand for it.
Niffler (fluff) - You find a niffler wandering the streets one night. You immediately decide that this niffler is your new best friend.
Chased (fluff) - Newt is being chased by a group of wizards that don’t agree with his outlook on the magical world. He happens to stumble into the home of the one person in New York that understands what that feels like.
Snow Cone (modern muggle au, fluff) - Reader got a job at the local carnival over the summer. Who knew snow cones were so messy?
Marvel
BUCKY BARNES
On The Run (slight angst, action) - What do you do when a metal armed super soldier shows up at your door and demands asylum?
Makeover (fluff) - Bucky hasn’t felt like Bucky ever since he escaped from HYDRA. Reader decides to give him a makeover in hopes that a new look will give him the confidence and closure he needs.
Kidnapped (angst w happy ending) - Electrokinesis!Reader is kidnapped and tortured for information, and their only hope rests in Bucky Barnes.
Invisible (slight crackfic, funny) - Reader has the power of invisibility. Tony doesn’t know this, and being ever the man of science, doesn’t believe it’s possible.
STEVE ROGERS
Studying (fluff, slight crack?) - Steve tries to help you study for you US History exam, but your textbook isn’t exactly up to par with Steve’s expectations.
Supernatural
JACK KLINE
A Good Change (fluff) - When Jack asks the reader to join him during a TV marathon, reader gets worried that the nephilim isn’t taking care of himself. They decide to help him as best as they can.
Kindred Spirits (soulmate au, fluff, slight hurt/comfort) - Why are you the only person that can see Jack’s wings?
Soul (fluff, some angst) - Castiel always insists that it is impossible for humans to perceive the physical form of a soul. After spending time with Jack, you swear Cas is wrong.
Othello Act III Scene III (fluff, jealous jack) - Jack sees the reader with a new friend in a bar, and he learns about a whole new emotion he’s never felt before.
More Like Home (fluffy fluffy fluff!) - When the reader’s distaste for the bland state of their room at the bunker comes to a head, they set off with Jack to transform it into something more like home.
SAM WINCHESTER
Self Care Isn’t Selfish (fluff) - Sam refuses to take care of himself, so you finally decide to intervene.
DEAN WINCHESTER
Silent Library (slight crackfic, bad attempts at humor) - When Sam and Dean take issue with your newfound friendship with the devil and the king of Hell, you decide that a special team building game is the best way to break the ice.
1600 Pennsylvania Ave (general fic, not a ton of Dean but still there!) - A case at America’s most powerful residency brings a powerful reader face to face with one of history’s biggest names.
CASTIEL
Snap Crackle Pop (fluffy fluffy fluff!!) - Castiel pops in during a little moment of self indulgence, and he has a few questions about the candy you’re eating.
Merlin
MERLIN
A New Home (very slight angst, general fluff) - Reader runs from their home once their adopted druid family is slain. They find themselves in Camelot, where they come upon a man they heard of only in legend.
Dear Evan Hansen
CONNOR MURPHY
Dating headcanons
EVAN HANSEN
First date headcanons
JARED KLEINMAN
First date headcanons
True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys
KOBRA KID
On The Run (female reader, fluff kinda?, protective kobra) - The zones haven’t treated you as well as they have your fellow killjoys. You find yourself without enough carbons to get the supplies you need, but Kobra refuses to let another killjoy die so easily.
guys Sam Tutty and Jack Loxton won their categories at the What’s On Stage Awards tonight and i’m. so proud. the West End cast is so special and these boys truly deserved it 🥺
jack loxton, deh west end’s jared kleinman, answering the question “what do you think happens to jared after the show?” // “size too small,” sufjan stevens