#ive missed my boy cant believe i only get to hear him speak when he dies in this hell of a game

[kavehayi]

kisses on space street • NEBULAE

aventurine x gn!reader • fluff (ongoing series)

chapter summary: pretty boy aventurine has completely taken over your college campus and everyone is warning you to stay away! however, (un)lucky for you, he's got his eyes on you.

author's note: finally doing this series😭 ive been meaning to and nothing ever came to mind to get rid of my writer's block but now im delivering the first chapter☝️

August 23rd, 20XX.

first day of college. you had to try and find your way around the huge campus from the library to the food hall to the area where your actual major resided. the place was a little overwhelming and you had a bit of trouble making your way around.

however, someone came up to help you find your way around.

aventurine. the man with beautiful eyes, is talking to you, an average person. "heya, pretty, you look lost, where do ya need to go?" he cooed in that sweet, honey-like voice. you looked a little shocked he was actually talking to you of all people. guess he sensed that since he let out a lighter chuckle, "ya look shocked, you good?" he asked, now you just have to snap out of it.

you spoke up, "yeah yeah, im...uh, fine, just looking for where my professor's classroom is at" you spoke politely. you didn't wanna waste his time, especially because he definitely has better people to talk to. you showed him the classroom number and his face lit up, "hey i have to go there too! i found it earlier, follow me" he stated pretty enthusiastically. you followed him to the classroom and he opened his mouth again.

he does not know how to shut up, huh?

he spoke up, "so, pretty, you livin' on campus?" he asked. you didn't really wanna tell him this but you went ahead and did it anyways. "uhm, yeah, im living in a dorm with a roommate, don't know his name though, didn't bother looking at the sheet." you cant believe you said that. now hes gonna bother you about looking at the sheet. "oo! let me see for you, i know everyone here" he didnt even really ask to see it, he kinda just stole your papers and looked through. judging by how his face lit up.

he was your roommate.

great.

he left you alone after he lead you to class and when lunchtime came, you went to the nearby cafe to speak to your friends. seems they had some warnings for you. "hey loser! over here!" they called you over and you sat down.

"yknow guys, i met the most obnoxious guy ever today" you started off, catching your friends' attention. your friends' names are robin, a music major. brother is sort of all over the place but he's nice. robin is also a travelling musician so there's some weeks where you never see her but she keeps contact. veritas ratio, prefers being called ratio. older than you and robin and is a junior in college. you guys only met because he accidentally threw chalk at your head when you were a junior in high school minding your business in math class.

"cant be as obnoxious as aventurine, i mean, he's literally loud and pretty so he gets away with it" robin stated and you went really quiet.

"so what if i said it was aventurine?" you questioned and robin dropped her sandwich on the table and ratio, sorta didn't show a reaction. kinda just glared. "stay away from him! he locks his eyes on someone and then ruins their life from what i heard!" robin stated with a scared expression and ratio just scoffed. "all you hear is rumors, miss robin. why dont you just get to know the guy for once, hm?" he asked her with a glare her way, robin just picked up her sandwich and ate it with a pout.

"always have a way of bullying the poor girl, huh, ratio?" you asked him, in which he just grunted and sipped his tea. "anyways, aventurine, i seriously cannot escape him, he's my roommate and in my class" you stated, robin just about imploded.

"no way! good luck dealing with him, dont be too interesting around him or else he'll target you" she said with a nervous sounding voice. you guys ended up finishing our lunch and parting ways, you and ratio going back to the campus while robin had some things to do back at her studio.

the entire day passed you by and it'd already been nine at night. you started heading back to your dorm, hoping that aventurine wasnt there. yet of course, nothing you wish for, actually happens.

"pretty! you're back, how was your first day?" he cooed, he had friends over and he didnt even bother considering how you'd feel about that. "it was fine, im going to my room, dont make too much noise" you stated before walking away. aventurine didnt think you'd be this prickly.

whatever, not like it mattered.

why should you care how he feels.

too bad for you though, he's interested in you now.

#aventurine fluff #aventurine angst #honkai star rail #hsr fics #hsr fluff #fluff #angst #angst with a happy ending #hsr angst #made by 💐 #🍰 fics #🍰 ongoing

[supertwaig]

(cool youth pastor voice) this chrisms id like to shoutout to my man kenny who saved us all by dying for our sins in the movie south park: bigger, longer & uncut (1999)

#south park #south park phone destroyer #phone destroyer #kenny mccormick #ive missed my boy cant believe i only get to hear him speak when he dies in this hell of a game

[leeknowy]

.

#pet death tw #my sweet boy revali passed away in my hands ten minutes ago #ive never dealt with the death of a pet ive actually been close with #so i never knew how id handle one i guess until today... #he was my sweet cockatiel with a sassy personality #hed never let me touch him anywhere but his head and cheeks until yesterday when he became fatigued #i never noticed how skinny he got in a matter of a day... #i just cant believe ill never get to hear his lovely chirps ever again #hes so soft... #i wish i could hold him like this forever but i have to move on #he was only 2 years old... #cockatiels are known to live between 20-30 years so i really just wanted to grow up with him #im so exhausted from crying #and my parents and my brother and sister in law are both on a trip out of town so im alone until tonight #i dont know how ill be able to cope #i love you revali #please be singing your happy tunes to God right now ok? #ill miss you so so much my sweet baby. #personal #brittany speaks

[ivyuns]

landing in my heart: secret

han jisung

genre: angst 

word count: 2.6k

warnings: lost in north korea, violence, mentions of chopping a head off, military stuff, mentions of car accidents, weapons, mentions of ending life and disorders (at the end), grammer mistakes, if i missed anything, lmk :)

part two of landing in my heart

landing in my heart information

2001

“y/n, choose your future!”

from that day, you always made the right choices. looking in front of you, you saw items which predicted your future by grabbing an item. instead of an item, you grabbed your fathers hand.

till that day on, you successfully opened your own fashion store. cutting the ribbon for your grand opening.

now that you heard jisung telling you to take the right path, you went to the other way. the night when jisung pulled you and hid you in his chest, you looked up in shock.

“oh my. i cant believe we met again”

“i thought you left”

you start flirting with jisung to get your way with him. smiling while jisung stares at you. ‘should i just kill her’ jisung thinks.

the following morning, you wake up and see yourself in the mirror. face full of marks and cuts. grabbing a cup of water and pour it into the bucket, you clean your face. “its okay, you’ll get through this yoon y/n”

as youre telling yourself to calm down in the bathroom, jisung makes you breakfast. “i-i dont know what you guys do but we usually give the host the first bite” you said, giving jisung a spoonful of the food, he stares at you.

“what wrong?” you asked. jisung sighs and crosses his arms. “are you concerned of whats in the food? because its poisonous?” putting the spoon back onto the food, you gave you. “im sorry if i offended you. but please do understand why im acting like this. wouldnt it be ridiculous for me to be trusting someone at this point?”

“hm, i guess youre right” lifting you head, you smiled. “see! i was correct-” “but you made an emergency landing at the DMZ while flying an unpowered aircraft on a windy day. right as the electric wires were working, you crossed it and came to a military housing area. ill sound crazy to believe someone like you”

“dont tell me youre suspecting me, thinking im a - spy. in fact i believe people are looking for me considered im famous down there” you paused, “one everyone knows im here, the south korean government, military authorites, and the UN wont stay still” jisung nods his head in agreement. “then, nobody should know youre here. i wont tell them”

jisung stands up and gathers your plate. hearing a knock, you look at jisung as he goes and looks who is here.

looking outside the gate, he sees hyunjin outside. “ah, captain han. i didnt know you went home early so i looked everywhere for you. so i knew you were home when i saw smoke from the chimney” hyunjin says and goes inside jisungs house without permission.

“oh and good news. about that south korean girl-” “listen she’s” “shes dead!” hyunjin laughs. “i know youre shocked too because i am too! there was an accident on the mountain and reporters said there was a young woman there” jisung shakes his head, “no thats not it hyung-” “aye, if im wrong then you can chop off my head” jisung nods his head and leads hyunjin back to the gate “wait let me use the bathroom real quick”

as both of the boys went to the entry way of the house, hyunjin takes off his shoes and talks about you. as he takes his shoes off, you went to lean on the door frame. hyunjin turns around and gets scared of seeing to woman he was talking about.

“how do you chop someone’s head off? ive never done it before” you spoke. with hyunjin’s mind going everywhere, he manages to speak to jisung. “c-captain han, whats going on here?” after realization, you realized he was the one who tried to shoot you. “y-you. it was you! you shoot the bullet at me!”

settling down, jisung rubs his temples as you tried to explain hyunjin that youre not a spy. “do you have trouble understanding or something?” “captain, do you have a shovel i can borrow?” you explain everything that had happened when you ran away, hyunjin gets scared and sits next to jisung.

moments later, another knock comes from jisung’s gates. opening the gate, he sees seungmin, felix and jeongin with food and drinks. “captain han! did you hear the news? the one with the young lady-” “thats not true” jisung cuts off felix.

“you must be jeongin” you called out. jeongin turns around and sees you. “yes, and who are you?” crossing your arms and leaning on the door frame, “i heard you might face a dishonored discharge. that means youll lose the job that you really need” you told him with a scared hyunjin next to you. “i-i thought she died!” jeongin screams and turns to the other two men next to him.

“and ah! youre felix! so tell me, which kdramas did you watch before leaving the post?” you pointed your finger at him. “stairway to heaven” felix answers. “ah thats a pretty old one. its the one with jiwoo and sangwoo right? im close to them, they live a few houses away from me” “is that true?!” felix smiles as seungmin tells him to stop.

telling everybody to come inside to talk, you demand them to take you back where you first landed in north korea. “im afraid we cant do that” jisung answers. “captain han, just let her be. let her get fried in the fences and say ‘so this is how the fences feels like’ if she’ll ever learn” hyunjin laughs out. giving a death glare at him, he stops laughing and puts on a straight face.

“basically, we cant go back to the post because we finished our job for two months and cant return there for a few months” jisung continues. “but you have a choice; i take you to the state security department. they may let you go home. or you stay here but heres a few rules. one, dont talk to us. and two, dont leave the house until we get you back home” jisung finishes. “my dad does a boat-to-boat. where a small boat goes to the international oceans and meets up with the bigger boats to another country” felix tells you.

nodding your head and agreeing with the second choice, the boys goes and makes you food since you were begging them to give you meat. after the food is done, you all eat as jisung steps back. “we must return to our post after this” jisung speaks out. “what? so i have to be alone now?” you exclaimed. “yah, do you just expect captain han to just stay here with you?” hyunjin jokes. “if you need anything thats urgent, press 8 on the cell phone and ill answer it in the outerpost”

instead of calling him for emergencies, you only called him, asking silly stuff. asking wheres the body wash, shampoo, and conditioner and wheres the candles, he responds with the bar of soap. you then call him how to take a bath since theres no modern showers inside his house. “you need to fill up the bucket with hot water. then take the tarp and hang it up with the clothes pin above the bucket. make sure to tuck the tarp under the bucket so theres no airflow. youll have your shower after that”

doing what jisung told you, you were surprised on how they lived. finally finishing, you went in the bucket after taking your clothes off. “ah this feels nice”

jisung, who was still in the office, got another phone call. “what is it now- ah master sergeant, whats the matter?” jisung answers to the sergeant. “its about the tomb raiders. they were killed in an accident on the mountain” jisung quickly hangs up and goes to the security state department and tell cheolgang.

he shows his military id to enter the place before the other military men opens the gate for jisung. as he goes to the room that cheolgang is in, he tells him what happened. “yes, i know what happen. but what can we do” cheolgang asks. “i believe there needs to be an investigation. what car did they crash into? was it on accident or on purpose? if it was on purpose, who was behind this? and why accidents like this keeps happening. so im asking if i can look into it” jisung says. cheolgang nods his head “go ahead. you should go to the headquaters in pyongyang tomorrow morning and get more information” he answers. jisung gets up and leaves.

the senior coloniel, who was next to cheolgang the whole time, asks cheolgang whats going to happen now. “dont worry about it, we hired somebody since hes responsible for a billion won scheme”

china.

minseok and his bodyguard enters the hotel where theyre supposed to meet someone. after finding the person, they talk about how minseok should be safe in north korea after passing through the other countries without being caught by sehyeong. minseok signs the contact and goes to his new home in north korea with extra protection.

back in north korea in the village, the kids were playing outside as you were still hidden in jisungs place. the mothers came out and gather their kids since it was dark and late and was now time for dinner. however, upil didnt leave until his dad showed up.

as manbok calls his son’s name, upil goes and hugs him and enters their house with upil’s favorite donut.

meanwhile in jisung’s house, you finished your bath and the lights go out. “whats going on? havent i had enough suprises today?”

the whole village had a blackout and you were scared. making your way to the telephone, you called jisung. only to be declined. you were hearing noises and you felt like you were going to be caught soon. closing the blinds, the noises were getting clearer.

grabbing the nearest item to hit the intruder, you were stopped as you saw jisungs face. tears threatened to spilled as your emotions came down are you. “why are you here” you said, lowering the item. “you said you needed a candle” jisung grabs the candle from the bag and gives it to you. “you said you needed it when you took a bath and when you sleep” “thats just a candle. i need a scented one” more tears spilled and jisung takes the item out of your hand.

“im sorry, you probably feel frustrated right now. but i just cant believe what im going through right now” sobs left your mouth as jisung guilty.

ranting to jisung about your problems back in south korea, you couldnt help but spill more tears. feeling frustrated at yourself back then, you felt bad for jisung since you were just crying in front of him. jisung puts his finger on the flame of the candle that was on. “there, i cant see you anymore” jisung reassures you that everything will be okay soon. he gets up and grabs his hat. “where are you going?” “i need to get on a train in the morning to pyongyang” he answers

“i dont know when ill be back so i might not see you when you leave. but my comrades will help you get on the boat in a few days. heres some things i bought that you needed” jisung says and hands you a bag and leaves the house. you open the door before he could leave.

“excuse me, but what is your name? i want to remember it to return the favor later” “you dont have to, there was no favor in the beginning. so its better to not remember it. and as i said before, dont tell anyone about this when you go back” nodding your head, jisung leaves the place.

going back inside, you open the bag and its full of the stuff you asked for earlier. looking at every product, you realize its from south korea. everything that you needed was in the bag, including undergarments and medicine for your cut.

jisung arrives pyongyang. hes then stopped for an investigation. jisung is led to a torture room to be questioned about the robbers. myeongseok enters the room and sees jisung being yelled at throught the glass window. he barges into the room and kicks the person who was asking jisung questions and aggravating him. “what are you doing? this is the directors son” myeongseok yells at the person, who is shocked.

myeogseok apolgizes to jisung and leads him somewhere to let jisung tell him what he needs to know.

the person who was just yelled at calls cheolgang and tells him that jisung is the directors son of general politics and gets angry.

later the night, jisung and myeongseok are talking about how jisung was to investigate into the car accident recently. “do you perhaps think this accidents was like your brothers?” jisung thinks to what myeongseok ask, and realizes the accident could be like his brothers. the same truck that ran into his brothers car and the others that the trucks ran into.

after company five visited you, they came back to the military zone to get some rest. they happened to see cheolgang leaving the place and quickly straightens up and salutes him. “fifth company, where are you guys coming from?” cheolgang asks. “from fixing the pump in out captains house sir” hyunjin replies. “ hes in pyongyang so good job”

“yes sir. may i ask where youre heading sir” seungmin asks. “lately were have lots of runaways so im going to run random house inspections today” “tonight sir?” hyunjin asks. cheolgang nods and felix starts hiccuping. “whats wrong with him?” “nothing sir. we missed what was in front of us, therefore the runaways must be in the military base. i believe that is a wise plan sir” hyunjin responds quickly. cheolgang nods and tells them to hurry inside and get some sleep.

they quickly go inside and hyunjin calls jisung as seungmin makes sure nobody is coming inside the room theyre in. “captain han, theyre doing random house inspections tonight. but we told the south korean woman not to answer any phone calls. so theyres no way to tell her” hyunjin tells jisung. jisung then hangs up and asks myeongseok for a favor.

jisung quickly drives back to the village as cheolgang arrives in front of jisungs house since is was the next house on the list. seeing the lights on, he doesnt believe that jisung is back from pyongyang.

looking through jisungs stuff, you look into a book that seems familiar. opening the book, you see an application form. “i swear i saw this face before” you were disturbed by your thoughts when you heard knocking. “captain han jisung! were here for house inspecting!” putting everything away, you hid in jisungs kimchi cellar, which was underground. cheolgang unlocks the gate and finds jisung as he sees the cellar’s blanket off of the door.

opening the door, the investigators finds you and clucks their guns. as youre forced to get off of jisungs property, everyones asking you questions as your hands are up in defense and silent. “it doesnt matter. once shes at the state security department, these muted people will talk” cheolgang says.

as a bright light flashes through, everyone stops and looks at the car in front of them. jisung stops the car and gets out to walk towards you and cheolgang. cheolgang suddenly aims his gun at you as tears fell.

“what are you doing to my fiancee?”

“what did you just say?”

“i would appreciate if you put the gun away from my fiancee”

additional ending:

location: switzerland

“its invalidation in our institute regulations, im sorry” the woman tells you after your request. “but why? i heard i can end my life here sure i have no physical pain, but i feel extraordinary pain in my mind. depression, panic disorder, eating disorder, insomnia, what all do i have to name? ” you questioned.

“we always recommend the sight seeing of switzerland to our visitors. most of our visitors change their minds after sight seeing. i dont know why you want to end it, but im sure youll be one of them”

after doing what the woman had told you, you went to visit a place where you can paraglide. amazed at how amazing paragliding looked, a guy stopped right next to you, admiring the view with you.

#stray kids #stray kids jisung #han jisung #han jisung angst #han jisung fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #skz angst #skz fluff #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop #jyp skz #jyp stray kids #angst #fluff #han jisung smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #crash landing on you #amoreskz

[kitsune1818]

Tossing your question right back at you, I'd love to hear your thoughts on what might have changed (or not changed) if Nie Dad had lived!

Ive been musing this all day, to be honest, i made the mistake of reading it right before getting up. Ooops. Im not as eloquent as you and i have a patchy memory of book canon events, this also touches a lot of hc. I do believe many things would change if dad-Nie had remained alive. As you said in my ask, nmj would be maybe less angry, more forgiving, more easygoing. One hc i have is that he became sect leader young, 15 at most, I also think nmj didnt go to CR to study, by the time he meet lxc he was already sect leader. Making friends was hard, but lwj is not the only stubborn lan. Another general hc i have is that the Nies have... trouble to be seen as equal to other cultivators, regardless of how strong or smart they are, they are not gentry, they are the descendants of a butcher, an unclean profession, so they are less. Maybe with dad-Nie alive nmj would not be forced to grow up so fast, maybe he still will have nice hobbies, maybe he can spent his free time indulging in art or music and maybe nhs would be a little more disciplined in saber practice. I do think nmj is the responsible and dedicated kind of person, having hobbies and friends will not deter him from his rigorous training. I confess im among in the bunch of people that believe he is dage for everyone... or at least of everyone that manages to get close to him. He doesnt baby people, but he indulges them and is very judgemental of their life choices, with dad-Nie alive, he doesnt have to fill the dad-mother-brother roll for nhs, he is just dage, i like to imagine him being a troll and he will be so shamelessly with nhs and his friends (nhs will be all “dage stop embarrasing me infront of my friends!) just because he can and this heirs are all so stuck up with very awful parents. Nmj trust easy, but once that trust is betrayed, well, we all know Jgy never got back that trust and things only got so patched up (skin deep) because of lxc and nmj wanting to believe it even if he didnt felt it. Maybe this time around, as dage had time to be a kid and a teen he can be more innocent, more inclined to second chances. O3r maybe he wont because that is just how he is regardless of his father. Ive seen countless takes of nmj being so much like his father... im a contrary person, i got this mean satisfaction in going against certain things, this is one of them (there is a bigger one, but that one is not relevant haha). I think nmj is more like mom side if the family, nhs is more like his father, both in appearance and temperament. Which may be a little weird to see dad-Nie like nhs considering the broken saber business, but part of me likes to think that nhs saw himself in his father and his eventual madness and that made him not want to have the same fate, forgoing saber training as much as dage let him get away with. I have a lot of thoughts on the saber-master thing the nies have, but this is getting far too long and i feel like im rambling about everything instead of answering the damn question. I imagine dad-Nie being alive means we can have a softer more relaxed nmj, still strong, still dedicated and dutiful (he is an heir, he cant be anything else), he is smart and resourceful, talented. Maybe this is why wrh takes notice of him eventually, maybe this time around nmj can get along with wen xu (another hc is that wen xu is older than nmj, there is a big age gap between wen xu and wen chao), maybe, like with wen zhuliu, nmj gets noticed by talent alone. I believe at some point wwx mentions that nmj is in the top 3 people he wouldnt want to mess with (besides that one part when he slaps nmj corpse abs in a very appreciative way), that kind of speaks of nmj talent and power. I do like the idea of a Qishan Wen and Qinghe Nie alliance a lot. I admit, im very biased, i often tell that other sect leaders are... not ideal. Everyone has their faults, yes, but in the grand scheme of things, jgs is an opportunist, he wont move unless he knows he can win (and he won only because jgy gave him the opportunity... just to be killed soon after), lqr is more of a scholar than a leader, even if he does a neat job managing the sect, lxc is a mediator, if there can be middle ground he will take it and be happy even if he is just postponing the inevitable (we see this in the 3zun dynamics a lot) and jfm is a conformist, he doesnt like conflict and will look away until the fire is too big to do anything about it. Maybe im being to mean, but this is they way i see it, feel free to politely disagree with me). Qishan had the numbers if not the talent, Qinghe had the talent, but not the numbers (another hc, the Nies are the newest of the great 5). An alliance between them sounds like a sweet deal to me. Maybe as you said, an alliance between this two could end up in a mostly everyone lives. Maybe Wen Qing can have a nice friend on Nmj (bonding over little brothers, maybe?) and nhs and Wen Ning can also have a nice friendship, be less lonely. Maybe as nmj grows into a man, wrh interest can shift, maybe this time nmj can allow himself to be a little more free to have something more with someone. Maybe with dad-Nie alive things can go a little happier, maybe dad-Nie will die in some other form and nmj would still be stuck as sect leader at a too young age, maybe this time wrh can be an ally instead of an enemy. Can you imagine it? wrh being friends with the late sect leader (only dad-Nie was bold enough to be honest, instead of giving blind praise and wrh appreciating that?) and offering help to the young heir, a few years later getting struck with the realization that the young boy grew up into a fine man (the “oh shit, he is hot” realization hehe). There are a lot of scenarios i would love to explore, but this is getting long, as my usual ramblings go, i need to cook tomorrow lunch and finish certain piece i need ready by tomorrow (fuck). Hopefully i didnt sidetrack too much, nor did i miss the point. Ugh. See! im not eloquent or well versed!

[moon-yeongjun]

“Tae-yah, I love you, but this is a stupid dream.” || Moon Bros

Summary: June 5-- Tae asks for permission to get a nipple piercing and then wants boy and friend advice, thus torturing Jun. This is very funny. 

@moon-yeongtae

Tae: hey so would u ever sign a paper so I could get my nipples pierced and not tell eomma?

Jun: what the hell

Jun: why would you want to do something so absurd

Tae: bc it looks cool?

Jun: aiya

Jun: look i dont think that is something we could hide from eomma for forever

Jun: cant you just wait a year and a half you'll be 18

Jun: then you can do whatever horrible body mutilation to yourself that you want

Tae: maybe

Tae: but if I really wanted to you'd sign it right?

Tae: :)

Jun: i dont think so

Jun: i am not going to go behind eomma's back

Jun: then you'll get me in trouble

Tae: :(

Tae: i could tell her I forged ur signature if she found out

Jun: no

Jun: this is a waste of your money anyway

Jun: if you still want it at 18 then you get it then

Tae: my friends are gonna get piercings

Tae: all three of them

Jun: oh u going to buy drugs if all your friends buy drugs

Tae: no

Tae: but I also don't want drugs

Jun: well why do u want nipple piercings anyway are you trying to be a pirate eh

Jun: a drug lord

Tae: maybe

Tae: im actually starting my own biker gang

Jun: all the more reason for me to say no

Tae: why can't u support my dreams hyung

Jun: tae yah i love you

Jun: but this is a stupid dream

Tae: wow

Jun: someone needs to tell you

Jun: that someone is me

Tae [hours later]: Hyung

Tae: on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being u actually like it and 10 being u want to shoot urself in the face

Tae: how do u feel about me talking to u about boys

Jun [deleted]: 씨-발

Jun: a 5

Tae: ok so like an 8

Jun: i said a 5 didnt i

Tae: 5 means u have no feeling one way or the other lmfao that's impossible u have an opinion about everything

Jun: if you tell me you want to get your nipples pierced for a boy i am at a 10 how about that

Tae: haha no that would be just for me ;)

Jun: right

Jun: the answer to that is still no

Tae: no i was actually going to talk about how i'm never going to date anyone in my whole life and i might as well become a monk

Jun: oh well personally i think that is a good life decision

Jun: monks are well respected

Jun: i am also probably going to become a monk

Tae: yeah why don't u get laid more tbh

Tae: all my friends talk about how hot u r so i mean u probably look alright

Jun: i am now at a 7

Jun: we're not supposed to be talking about my sex life

Jun [deleted]: also you should get new friends they are not allowed to come over anymore IN WITH THE NEW OUT WITH THE STUPID

Tae: ugh

Tae: im depressed

Jun: okay

Jun: because you think you're never going to date?

Tae: no

Tae: bc i can't date nemo

Jun: why not

Jun: he likes boys too

Jun: does he not like you?

Tae: apparently louie had a crush on me this whole time

Tae: and thinks we are assholes

Jun: oh wait im remembering this

Jun: we did talk about it

Tae: yes

Tae: and like

Jun: i told you to tell him to shut up

Tae: he's just now starting to talk to us again

Jun [deleted]: first of all i cant believe you have so many gay friends is everyone just gay now

Tae: and nemo is a really good person and cares

Tae: about louie's feelings

Jun: so you'er saying he wont date you because he does not want to upset his other friend

Tae: yea

Jun: im not really sure what you want from me here i dont really do relationship advice

Tae: ok

Jun: it seems to be that louie is being selfish and you should just date

Jun: right? is that crazy?

Jun: and if he is going to not talk to you well he is a terrible friend anyway good riddance

Tae: that's a little bit how i feel

Tae: i also see nemo's side

Tae: but the longer it goes on

Tae: the more i just really don't give a fuck what louie says

Jun: you shouldnt give a fuck about him but i guess you should care what nemo says since he still has to agree to date you

Tae: u said fuck lmao

Jun: ive said fuck many times before

Tae: yeah but i was expecting u to yell at me about my language lol

Tae: anyway

Tae: i want to kick louie in the mouth and date nemo

Tae: and im depressed bc i can't do that

Tae: bc i really really like him

Tae: a lot

Tae: so much

Jun [deleted]: well thats nice... no what the fuck do u say to someon

Jun: ah well im sorry tae yah that your friends are both equally stupid for different reasons

Tae: im moving to texas

Tae: that's like one of the only states i know

Jun: i hear things are worse there

Jun: you should move to new york thats where everyone goes

Jun: personally would hate it but

Jun: i dunno, lots of gay people are there

Tae: like city?

Jun: yes sure

Tae: that shit is too big

Jun: aiya now i will yell at you for your language

Tae: can i stay home from school tomorrow lmao

Jun: what? no

Jun: there is no good erason for you to miss school

Tae: it's to stop me from killing a skinny white boy

Jun: not good enough your education is most important

Jun: a little murder never hurt anyone

Jun: but missing school? terrible tragedy

Tae: except the dead guy

Jun: well in a way you're doing him a favour if you think about it

Jun: he doesnt have to go to school anymore

Jun: but you do

Tae: omg

Tae: that's a good reason to keep him alive i guess

Tae: so he has to suffer

Jun: there we go

Jun: other ways to get revenge

Tae: he's being such a little bitch baby too

Tae: UGH

Jun: yes just get it out 

now

Tae: did u know he's not even looking at me

Tae: like he won't

Tae: he looks off to the side and like doesn't speak actual words to me

Tae: he will text when we are in a group and acknowledge me there

Tae: that's it

Jun: thats very immature

Jun: weird way to treat a crush if u want them to like u back too but thats neither here nor there

Tae: what he is basically doing is making sure i will never like him back probably bc why would i like someone who can't like

Tae: talk about what is bothering them

Tae: and instead ignores me

Jun: well i dont know i definitely wouldnt

Tae: and like we have talked about it

Tae: but he basically said i was a dick and i should leave him alone

Tae: so the whole thing  pisses me off i hate it

Jun: well maybe you should

Jun: let him get over it or whatever

Tae: i am

Tae: im not being pushy it just sUCKS

Jun: well i saw a lot of people in my year date and break up over and over

Jun: the good thing is he will get over it and you will all forget about it

Jun: then you and nemo can date if thats what you want

Tae: yeah

Tae: when u come home can u bring some nectarines

Jun: what am i a delivery boy

Jun [deleted]: yes yeong junnie

Jun: fine

Tae: thank u hyungie

#text #moon bros #moon bros text

[lukebaker-archive]

Road To Hell .

Date: Saturday, January 2020 Key:  TW Drug Relapse , @dallas-micheal Sober/Clean: 0 days.

Luke: Everything was still, but Luke's mind had been racing. The days and nights had melted together and no matter how fast the world was moving around him, it felt as if his body was glued to the car seat. His nose was on fire, dry, but craving for more substances to inflame his nose was all he needed. Reaching for his phone, he grunted to himself. No service, no drugs. "Fuck." Luke forced himself up, his pulse rising, the world spinning, and the only thing he could think of was his cravings. That was when the lightbulb hit him. Luke forcefully pulled up the floor liner on his passenger side, a small plastic baggie with white powder taking over his thoughts. Within the next seconds, his body went into autopilot, drawing the line and praying for some kind of comfort to avoid the withdraw.

Dallas: It was odd when his right hand didnt answer his texts. Even more odd when he wouldnt answer his calls. Dallas left a few messages for Luke, letting him know Becky was on the lookout and everyone was wondering where Degrassis resident playboy had went. He knew if Luke wanted to be found then the boy would let people know of his presence. "Im gonna head for a walk," Dallas called out into the abyss of the Torres home, knowing someone heard him before he left. Ever since the Vanessa drama, and not having Luke around to discuss and distract. He was left to his own devices, and going for a walk seemed like his best and favorite option. It had been about half an hour when Dallas decided that he should probably head back home, but as he turned the corner to go the back route home, a familiar sight caught his eye. He would've recognized that car anywhere, but why was it in this neighborhood. As he started walking towards the car, he realized someone was in the car. "Luke!" He called out as he neared the same the vehicle

Luke: He could hear his name in the distance, but Luke was too transfixed in his own mind to let himself be bothered. His body relaxed into the chair, the numbness in his body grabbing onto his body. Luke had missed this feeling. The world was quiet. The fighting in his head had finally silenced and he was safe inside his own head, but it would come at a cost. First he had images of Fiona at first to comfort him, to carry him into safer dreams, but he knew better than that. The safer dreams needed to erase Fiona, Becky, anyone who mattered for that fact to fully feel everything. All he had was darkness, that's what he wanted.

Dallas: He scrunched his brows when no one responded, he kept walking towards the car. He realized the drivers door was popped open as he got closer. "Luke," He spoke as he finally made his way towards the door. Eyes immediately training on the little baggie sat on the passengers seat. "Fuck," He spoke as he looked down at his friend, he knew all to well where the boy was in his high. He shook his head as he quickly grabbed the baggie and shoved it. He spoke quickly, trying to get eye contact with his friend. He was supposed to help this from happening, he tried to help the boy. And had done decently up until this point, or so he had thought.

Luke: The cool breeze threw Luke off as the figure was speaking out to him. He simply nodded I response to his best friend. Or at least what he believed was his best friend. Everything was bright and in focus despite the darkness of the night, but he couldn't pull his friends face or name from his mind. Only Dallas' voice was able to reach to Luke. A sniffle as he reached over to make another line. His eyes widen not being there. "Fuckin' hell. Where'd I put it," he whispered mainly to himself. "You got it right? You saw where it was?" His thoughts weren't on anything else but riding this high out. He felt his inner self screaming in the back of his mind, but the urge was too strong. "Come on, man. I just need one more bump."

Dallas: He shook his head at his friend, the boy barely knew what was happening besides his next fix. The boy was already high as a kite, "What you need is to move over so I can drive us out of this place," He stopped himself from calling the boy a fucking idiot. He knew the history, why it was his kryptonite. He understood the thrill of the drug, he was lucky to not get to the same point as Luke, at least with the ivory powder. "We'll go to my place," He didnt have his keys on him, but Luke was given a key to his place the day his mom met him. "We can chill there and Ill let you have all the bumps,"

Luke: "Just lemme get one more on the way there," Luke spoke erratically. He didn't feel in control of his body as he lifted out of the car. Instead of walking around the car, Luke forced himself into the back seat, laying on his back forcing to stare at the car roof. The drive wouldn't take long, but Luke didn't know that. He barely knew where he was right now and all he could focus on was the next line. "Lemme get just one before we get there. Just something small to keep the edge off."

Dallas: Dallas got in the car quickly starting it and pulling out, checking on Luke through the rear view, "You'll be fine, its a couple minutes. Do you know how long you been gone?" He quizzed, already assuming the boys answer. If it had been anything like how Dallas found him then he definitely didn't even know the time of day let alone day of the week. "I got some shit to tell you when we get there. As always its about Vanessa, I already know what youll say," He tried to discuss anything but the drugs, hoping it would at least distract the boy.It had been a while since he'd done anything, now Dallas was just wondering what ignited it.

Luke: Luke's face turned confused at the question. "Uh, depends? Is the dance still going on?" His brain was fuzzy with the timeline and he felt like he was forgetting something. Or someone? "Was I supposed to do something?" He hadn't thought he was gone from the Match Dance that long, but then again the amount of sunrises he had seen and forgotten made him think differently. "I always liked you and V. She smells like vanilla and made you less of a dick," Luke laughed to himself. "Your game was better too. Maybe it was the lack of V from V," he continued his laugh even distracting him from himself.

Dallas: Dallas furrowed his brows, remembering someone saying Luke left them at the dance, "Its about a week later buddy, and I think you may be right about forgetting someone. Cant remember who," He shrugged as he pulled onto his road, the familiarity hitting him immediately. Dallas couldnt help the chuckle that left his mouth, "She smells like vanilla with a hint of citrus, but only if you're close enough," He failed to mention the light leather scent she held due to the countless jackets she owned, and the lettermans she borrowed. "She always had twisted ways of getting me to focus," He chuckled lightly, before a frown over took his features, "Unfortunately, she needs time for herself," He sighed as he pulled into his driveway, parking the car. "I get it and all, but I just fucking got her back into my life,"

Luke: "A week?" Luke raised an eyebrow. The time couldn't have been passed through that much, could it have? "She needs time alone or you let her push her away?" Luke called him out. Luke didn't know much, but even in his mind he had clarity about things sober Luke didn't want to speak about. "Fi did something stupid when I let her be alone. Don't let it happen to her either. You don't wanna see her like that," he said lowly. The mention of Fiona shook Luke's head. He didn't want to think about her right now. Her face began flushing in his mind with disappointment and replaying the night before she was hospitalized. All that guilt and hurt circling back, fixating on his mind. "Fuck, gimme the baggie." Luke's voice more forceful. "I need it."

Dallas: "She just said she isn't herself and she inst that happy. She cant be with me if she doesn't know herself type of thing i guess," He turned as he heard the shift in Lukes tone. "You good? Whats going through your mind?" He could see a few different emotions crossing his face but couldn't make em all out. "Lets head inside," He got outta the car, making his way to the door to unlock it. If he got Luke inside first, it'll be a lot easier to keep him there for a bit of time. At least to try and detox him before bringing him home.

Luke: "And you just /left/? Sounds like a cry for help, but what do I know," Luke replied, chuckling. The laughter echoed in his head even though he had stopped being audible with it. He just needed a sound to get Fiona's image out of his head. "Just give me my damn drugs." Luke's voice was aggressive as he leaned up from his the backseat. Against his own mind, Luke's body followed Dallas' words only for the powder he was holding. He was hard on his feet, heavy in his steps as he made his way to the Torres' residence. The last thing he needed was a lecture from Audra so he remained quiet without being told sold. Luke's sniffling had become heavy now, "I did what you asked. Draw me a line, would'ja."

Dallas: "I didnt know what else to do Luke. The love of my life was telling me she couldnt be with me and I panicked. Shes the only girl ive ever loved and honestly more than likely will ever love," He thought about Lukes words, he knew he needed to eventually talk to her about the situation. But he also assumed she wanted her space for a little bit, and honestly he needed his too. Dallas sighed as he pulled the baggie from his pocket. "How bout I indulge with you? A little bro bonding,"

Luke: "Look, dumbass, the love of my life told me the same thing. I left her alone and next thing i knew she had drank herself to the bottom of the staircase. I'm not letting you make the same mistake," Luke spoke trying to reason. All he could see in his mind right now was Fiona in that hospital bed and it was beginning to eat at him. He wanted to forget, he needed to forget. The drug must have been wearing off because he was beginning to see clearly again. The baggie made the "Yeah, yeah man. It'll help you forget her. Help us forget them both," he spoke quickly. It was beginning to hurt and at this point he'd say whatever. "You won't think about her or any of them, just one line."

Dallas: "So that's what really happened. I knew she didn't go to Paris," He shook his head as he took the baggie out of his pocket. Opening it, he glanced at Luke noticing him looking in the opposite direction before he "accidentally" dropped the baggie all into the carpet. "Fuck!" He said loudly trying to play it off as if the bag slipped. "They need to put fucking grips on these things,"

Luke: "Call your fucking girlfriend." Luke's eyes stayed focus on the bagging until he thought he had heard footsteps. In that quick second everything had turned red. The powder was completely on the floor and he was on his knees trying to pick any trace up. The rage grew on his face as he snarled up at Dallas. "You need to get me more! I can't... I can't go back," he rambled. "You gotta help me man. You gotta get me more."

Dallas: "Im sorry it slipped!" He had never seen the amount of anger on Lukes face as he had in that moment. He knew he couldnt go get him more, let alone leave him by himself. "Sit," He spoke calmly, pointing to the spot on the opposite end of the couch. "Do you think if I call her she'll actually answer? I did leave her in the middle of the a diner, " He silently begged that he would just forget, and focus on the conversation.

Luke: He could only sink into the seat, knowing the inevitable was coming. "Ask yourself the same thing, if she called would you answer?" he replied. Luke was stubborn and impulsive, but the one thing you couldn't say about him was he didn't know how to treat people he loved, well not in this mindstate anyway. "If you're gonna make me suffer, can you at least get me a beer to try and ride this?" It was a shallow statement, only needing him away from a quick moment so he can try to save everything that was on the carpet.

Dallas: "Fair point," He looked at his phone that was sat on the edge of the table. He had stopped himself many times in the past couple days from picking it up and texting her. "You think Momma Dallas has alcohol? Funny," He chuckled, after his dad went away his mom decided that alcohol was the reason, and no more would be allowed. "I may have a bottle of vodka in my room if you wanna go check," He shrugged, " Not positive however," He grabbed the television remote, turning it on and switching the HDMI so they could use the PlayStation.

Luke: only shook his head, knowing he was going to have to find a whole new stash all on his own. His eyes just stayed focus on carpet, not even noticing Dallas turning his attention to the tv. He could feel the comedown happening, his mind leaving high alert and his body trying to avoid the mania that was coming. He leaned back into the couch, just ready tp let the suffering kick in.

#para #RTH #dallas-micheal

[guccihevil]

Reunion surprise - Tom Holland/reader

Anon: can u do a piece where tom and u have been apart for a really long time and u decide to surprise him while hes working?

Warning: None Words: 1162

You were sat by your desk typing away on some work emails when your phone buzzes. Biting our lip  you quickly finish the sentence you were writing before picking up the phone and looking at it. There was a new text from Tom «What are you doing? :(» it said. I did a little smile before just pressing his name and calling him rather than texting him back.

«Hi» Tom greeted as he answered the phone pretty much straight away. «Hi babe, I got your text. You alright?» I asked, shutting down the laptop and walking into the living room to get comfy on the sofa. Tom sighed. «I miss you. And I miss home» He said quietly. «I know, I miss you too. It’s been a long time this time around hasn't it? But it'll be over soon» I tried to tell him. I could hear him moving and some rustling through the phone. «Its too long, I want to come home» My heart flooded with sadness as I heard the true heartache in Tom’s voice. «Look, I’ll be meeting you in Mexico in about three weeks time, we’ll talk on the phone, FaceTime, text and all that. I’ll be seeing you very soon» I told him gently. «I know Y/n, its just hard when I’m all alone» Tom whispered and I heard a little quiet sniffle. «Aww, don’t cry babe. I love you» I closed my eyes and leaned back against the sofa cushions. «Go on, tell me about todays shoot, anything interesting?» I asked to try and change the subject. After speaking about all the scenes, stunts and demands the director had put him through, I told him about work, Tessa and the new disco lights the local pub had installed.

«Thanks for talking to me, I’m sorry if I kept you busy» Tom said before yawning. «I called you remember. What time is it over there anyway? Should you be sleeping?» I asked. «Emm its not too late» He mumbled. «Hmm somehow I dont believe you. Go to bed and we’ll chat more in the morning alright?» I suggested. «Yeah alright. Love you y/n. Miss you» Tom said down the phone. «I love you too. Good night» I told him before hanging up. Dropping my phone, I let out a deep groan and rubbed my face. Staring at the coffee table, the sound of Tom crying was stuck in my head and tugging at my heart strings. It took about five seconds before I was certain that I just had to go see that he was alright in person. Getting up, I headed back to the office and got the laptop going again, this time looking for plane tickets.

—

About sixteen hours later, I was on a plane heading to Tom. I’d packed loads of snacks and some of his clothes to bring a bit of home to him so he’d have something after I’d have to go home again. It felt so good to be on my way to see him, he wasn't the only one who was feeling the distance.

I hadn’t checked any luggage, just brought a backpack and a small carry on suitcase so the trip of the plane and out of the airport was quick and easy. Jumping into a cab I told the driver the hotel I knew Tom was staying at. I was starting to feel a bit nervous now, worried that I’d made a mistake just jumping on a plane and traveling all the way without saying anything. There wasn't much time to think about it though as suddenly we were at the hotel and I was paying my fare. «Cheers» I told the driver before grabbing my luggage and jumping out. I kept my head down just in case there were any fans around and made my way into the hotel. There was no queue so I headed straight for the reception.

«Hi, I believe a key has been left for me? Room 703? My name’s y/n y/l/n?» I said and fished out my ID to show it off. The receptionist grabbed it and looked it over. «Yes, thats correct, we have a key for you. Do you need assistance with your bags?» The man asked as he activated my key card before handing it over. «No thanks» I smiled. «Right, the lift is over there to the left, enjoy your stay» He pointed and gave a smile. «Thanks» There was a permanent smile on my face as I took the lift up to the seventh floor and opened the door. «Oh, Tom.. Seriously?!» I groaned as I stepped into the room, the smile very much falling off my face. His room was a mess. There was clothes everywhere and old dishes from room service was on all tables and counters. «This boy» I groaned and found a clean place to put my bags before rolling up my sleeves. It was time to tackle this room, than I’d tackle the boy.

It was about two hours later when I finally heard someone opening the door. Pausing my movie, I stood up and leaned on the wall. «You know, just cause I’m not here dont mean you should treat your belongings like rubbish» I said as Tom walked in the door. Tom let out a little scream and dropped his phone in his rush to turn around and look at me. He tilted his sunglasses down and blinked a few times. «Y/n?! What the hell?» He said, his voice going shaky at the end. I could see his chin starting to tremble and I walked over and hugged him. «Hi babe» I said softly as we hugged tightly. I rubbed his back and kissed his neck. «What are you doing here?» Tom asked as he sniffled and wiped his eyes. «Figured I’d come see you for a bit. I deserve a little vacay anyway» I grinned and wiped away a tear that was coming down Tom’s cheek. «Ive missed you so much» he said quietly and hugged me tightly again. «Ive missed you too» I whispered back. «Come on, lets sit on the bed» I said after a while and pulled back. Taking his hand I walked over to the bed. «I still cant believe you're here» Tom said as he shrugged off his jacket and let it fall to the floor. He reached up and stroked my cheek. I smiled and took his hand and kissed. «Well I am. Harrison and Harry helped me out big time to make sure everything would work out»

«I’ll thank them later than. Now I just want to be with you» Tom grinned and pulled us down so we were lying flat on the bed. Cuddling up, Tom rested his head on my chest and sighed happily as he closed his eyes and relaxed. Stroking his hair, I had a small smile on my face. This was perfect.

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland blurbs #tom holland x reader #tom holland fan fiction #tom holland x y/n #guccihevil #im not going to be posting a story everyday so please dont get used to this #ta #requested

[the-sanders-sides]

inidan american (desi) logan

a sequel to this post because people asked for more and i decided that they shall receive (and also i love writing these)

fair warning, logans a bitter kid, and this isnt as positive and happy as romans post. ive experienced two different ways of being desi, one where i lived in fully asian and indian community and didnt even think id ever feel alone, and another where i moved to a place where i havent met another desi in like 7 years of living here in a 3 hour driving radius. in romans post i played into my first experience and how at home i felt. in the second experience, the one im in right now, i am much more bitter about who i am and not really knowing anyone who gets it anymore. so i play into that A LOT in this. so keep that in mind. (and he will get happier in a future part. m planning on making this into a series)

ok so first off. his name is logan sanders. people (mostly other indians) dont believe him when he tells them. he tells them they dont know indian history. they say they do. he tells them that the british fucked around (quite literally) in india for four centuries so of course english names would stick with that precise wording

sometimes when he’s annoyed enough and doesnt want to explain this for the millionth he defends himself with this russel peters skit (watch it, it’s hilarious) because it describes his family. to a T. 

he grew up in a community with not very many asians, and knew no indians outside his family so he felt a sort of disconnect to his culture

while his grandparents and parents would teach him about indian culture, he felt so distant from it since he knew no one outside his family who was indian, and since he didnt have any siblings or any nearby cousins to hang around with

he had visited india once but he was too young to remember it properly or too remember his cousins

the closest mandir was an hour away so that also limited the amount of indian kids/people he knew

he barely knew hindi because everyone in his family spoke english, especially in public

he felt guilty over the disconnect he felt and would always try to bridge it but would never accomplish this because it he kept losing passion since he rarely saw other people like him in the real world and in the media and he didnt see the point of trying

this all changed in eight grade when he moved next door to the Kumar family in a north indian street of some south asian blocks in an asian community

when his family first moved, the Kumar family invited the Sanders over to welcome them

it turns out the Kumar’s had a son who was the same age as logan

“hi logan! im rohan kumar! but i like going by roman instead of rohan!” 

this introduction pissed logan off 

he was seething because why would this kid who got to have an indian first AND last name change his name to an english one! why didnt he see the value of his name!

he knew right away that such a difference meant they could never be friends 

“im logan sanders, but thats all youll get to know about me because i see no use associating myself with someone as... well, ignorant, as you”

roman decides to whip out one of the swears his cousins taught him and whisper shouts “who are you calling ignorant, bhenchod?” 

 it became clear to him that this was new turf, and people on this new turf must be speaking hindi. and that he was the ignorant one if he couldnt talk in hindi. he made a vow to learn it as fast as he could to make sure this roman kid wasnt better than him

but, logan grits his teeth and says “you, and i know it must be true because you were too dumb to understand me the first time”

this evidently struck a sore spot in roman because he didnt fight back but just stalked away. logan smiled slightly, happy to have won that argument

logan asks his grandpa to teach him hindi and his grandpa gets super excited

they start lessons immediately and despite barely hearing it growing up, it’s as if his brain was made for this because he picks the language up amazingly fast and in a months time, while not able to speak back yet, he can understand most casual conversation

his first diwali in basically little india is the most magical thing ever

diwali at his old home was very quiet because there wasnt anyone around to celebrate with

everyone is so happy in this new home however. everyone is dressed up and all the houses are lit up and there are diyas everywhere and he doesnt want to admit it but the kumar’s have the best rangoli on the street and it’s because of roman and he knows roman did it because sometimes he’d stare out of his bedroom window while doing homework and have a perfect view of roman delicately working on it for two weeks

(the kumar’s front porch had been covered with tarp waiting for diwali to make sure romans precious rangoli wasnt stepped on or ruined. when it’s finally let up, everywhere where there could be art, there is. it’s insane how good at colors roman is, logan thinks)

diwali morning: 

he fights his parents because he doesnt want to miss school for diwali because americans dont have a day off for it. his parents set the clocks in the house ahead to make him think he overslept so he would skip school. (logan didnt know that his parents had submitted an excused absence form for religious reasons and that the school was very understanding. he thought it would be like his old school where he wouldnteven bother trying since he wasnt christain and the school was lkinda discriminatory)

they spend the morning in mandir and it’s nice. for once he doesnt feel different from his peers because he goes to mandir and not church or synagogue. he feels at home.

diwali afternoon:

the afternoon is spent with frantic cleaning and cooking and digging around for the diya’s that were still in boxes, packed away from when they moved

logan offered to find them all to continue with a diya science experiment he started two years prior. his theory was that the diya’s were multiplying and there were more each year despite no one buying anymore

this held true, because even though he could only find half of their diya collection, it was somehow more than the entire diya collection of two years prior. 

diwali evening:

theres a big potluck and everyone in the neighborhood is out talking to each other, looking at the decorations at everyones houses, eating samosas, and playing with sparklers. 

logan feels content

he makes a new resolve to learn more about hinduism. if this is what ti was supposed to be, then he never wanted to be away from hinduism. 

he looked at the metaphors and symbolism in everything and finally understood what his dad meant he told logan that hinduism is just science written in poetry and that string theory is written in the ancient texts

middle school in this new town is so much better than middle school in his old home. why?

a. doesnt get bullied for being a nerd

b. doesnt get called gay slurs 

c. the classes are harder 

d. much less racism

e. all of the above

soon enough, logans asking his grandpa to teach him how to cook Indian food

Logan spends the day burning dosas and making lopsided rotis

(eventually he gets the hang of it, and a he'll be cooking food for an infuriating Indian boy ;) ;) psst it's roman)

Speaking of boys

Coming out isn't an option for logan

He knows that his parents arent really religious enough to really look into hinduism and see that no, gays are not bad

But they are traditional and conservative enough to be homophobic

not homophobic as in spewing hate with the westboro baptist church at a pride parade

But homophobic as in "the gays are fine as long as they don't do it in front of me" kinda thing

So Logan stays quiet

the closet kinda sucks but i mean what can he do

it’s safer inside, and he as illogical as wishing is, he wishes that people would use their brains and realize there’s nothing wrong with gay

anyway

in school logan makes his first desi friend, who was dubbed as anxiety years ago and cant seem to get rid of the nickname and now has a whole complex about his name so logan doesnt know his name

logan and anxiety meet in the school library: logan studying and anxiety hiding

people dont like anxiety

especially non-indian kids

surprise surprise it’s an old buddy called racism, but anxiety’s story is for another time

(but even though no one really likes anxiety, whenever racist shit goes down, it has to go through roman)

so logan and anxiety become fast friends

and they make fun of roman (a+ bonding)

logan claims that roman is a hypocrite for changing his name to an english one while being so immersed in indian culture

anxiety doesnt dispute this, but says he has a past with roman

a past that involved getting stuck with the name anxiety

again, another story for another time

one day, when logan and anxiety are eating lunch they see roman destroy some homophobes who throw around the word f*g and keep calling caitlyn jenner, bruce jenner

logans chest surges

he’s all like “what?? emotions?? pride at roman?? is he better than me for being so open and standing up for what he believes in??”

gay panic basically

but logan masked it well and pushed it away

the next day roman comes to school with a pride patch on his jean jacket

logan feels like he cant breathe

logan is supremely jealous of roman.

he can be gay in peace

he can pretend not to be indian in a way that benefits him

and he’s not affected by stereotypes in the same way?? like what does this kid not have

and by stereotypes i mean

roman is the complete opposite of all indian and desi stereotypes: loud, flamboyant, theatrical

logan’s personality is exactly how the stereotypes are. he’s nerdy and likes science and math and it seems like he cant escape the stereotypes. they follow him. and he feels guilty that he likes science and math and is nerdy. 

as illogical as it is, he wishes he was different from how he is

but logan later learns that there are more than just his perspective on being desi and that every desi kid growing up faces challenges about it that are different than his, causing them to experience being desi differently

and logan will accept that, in another story at another time

for now, he’s just bitter. and as illogical as it is, he wishes the world was better

and now, i shall tag some people who asked to be tagged and some other desi’s who loved this because i feel like you guys might appreciate this too. also i love u. desi famders squad up.

@sssixeyedrunt @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @caterpiller-tea @xxxbladeangelxxx @snufflesthegrim227 @cloudchaser7 @thelowlysatsuma 

#logan sanders #logince #virgil sanders #roman sanders #desi #desi headcanons #sanders sides #mine #please love this #r #l #v

[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [11] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

The second worst part is that Kristin is so nice. She’s bright, and sweet, and she ‘loves  that shirt where did you get it from? You made it, oh that’s so cool! I could never do something like that you’re so talented!’ She’s so earnest, barely nineteen, and she clings a little, to Roger when he’s around, to Ash and Mary, because they answer her questions; she’s starry-eyed when she stands and watches the band through the glass of the sound studio window. She doesn’t know a lot about music, but she knows enough to appreciate the work they’re putting in. 

The worst part is that she takes a liking to Ash.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to talk so much, I’m just nervous, you know?” And Kristin’s smiling a little distractedly as she watches Roger play. “I mean, I only met him a few weeks ago-” and she keeps talking but Ash’s brain short circuits; she’s not just a girl he picked up at the bar, she’s a girl he invited to the bar to watch him play.

“Could I talk to you for a second?” Ash asks, standing abruptly, holding out her hand to Kristin. The other woman takes it, and Mary shoots the ginger a supportive smile.

Ash wants to tell Kristin to run as far as she can, wants to warn this kind-faced girl about what Roger was capable of, wants to tell her that he basically admitted that he still wants to hook up with Ash not forty minutes ago, but as soon as the door swings closed, Kristin starts.

“I know you’re friends with Roger,” she starts, a little sheepish, and Ash’s eyes go wide, “and you’re protective of him or something like that, but-”

“No, not at all!” Ash blurts out, realising she’s still holding Kristin’s hand. “It’s you I’m worried about, darlin’.” It’s takes a long moment for Kristin to process Ash’s words, wide-eyed. “Roger can be,” Ash takes a moment in the silence to choose her words carefully, humming as she turned each over in her mind before settling on; “fickle.” Run fast, run far, he mind yells, but Ash is already feeling selfish for thinking it; she’s told him she’s going to try and keep it platonic from now on, she shouldn’t try and scare off someone he’s a little serious about. 

She’s not jealous. 

If she keeps telling herself that, maybe she’ll believe it, maybe she’ll stop feeling like her emotions are betraying her.

“Fickle?” Kristin’s brow furrows, and her expression turns soft. “You’re worried about me? Oh, Ash- can I call you Ash?” She asks nervously, not at all patronising, and Ash lets herself grin.

“It is my name.” 

“I promise I can take care of myself.” Kristin assures her, but the horrible thought flashes through Ash’s mind, that August would adore her, Ash knows immediately that she has to keep Roger from hurting her while they’re together.

“I’m sure you can.” Ash gives her a kind smile, forcing herself to relax. “I just wanted to say my peace.” She said, and Kristin gives her fond smile, squeezing her hand as a reassurance, before they head back into the recording studio.

“You two... seem to be getting along.” Roger doesn’t sound like he likes that, eyes zeroing in on where the girls hands are clasped, and Ash gives him a sunny smile. He narrows his eyes further, plopping himself onto the other end of the sofa from Mary. Kristin lets go of Ash and immediately makes her way over to him, sitting in his lap, and something in Ash’s chest tightens painfully, smile dropping as he wraps an arm around her.

“She’s just being kind.” Kristin assures him, and Ash is pretty sure she sees a sarcastic response pass through Roger’s mind, but he bites it back.

“She’s good at that when she wants to be.” He says instead, quiet, apologetic smile on his face when he makes eye contact with Ash, and the girl in question just gives a jerky nod, turning to watch John begin playing.

“Yes, our Ash can be a sweetheart.” Freddie says from his seat beside the sound engineer, and Ash gives him a grateful smile, and he gives her a nod of acknowledgement, smile reassuring.

“A downright sap, sometimes.” Mary calls from the sofa, despite the fact that they both knew she’d never seen Ash as anything less than a dry-humoured bartender, though Ash still feels her cheeks heat up, embarrassed.

“Okay, okay, thanks I think she gets it.” And when Ash turns back, Kristin and Roger are quiet, her head on his shoulder, both looking up; she’s looking at Deaky, looking relaxed and content, and Roger is looking at Ash, a little confused.

“I don’t want to get into another argument.” Roger says it around a cigarette when Ash joins him outside for a smoke. He’s restless, both from the tension he can feel crackling from Ash, and the fact that they’ve yet to strike gold in the recording studio.

“I just don’t know how you could say all that to me while you knew she was in the next room; you’re dating her, aren’t you?” She doesn’t light up her own cigarette, just shoves her hands into her jean pockets. Her voice is hollow.

“I’m sorry.” It’s the most sincere he’s sounded so far, and the silence that follows feels like eons. “I’m sorry I said what I said; about the standards comment and everything else, okay? After what happened with August, we were good, weren’t we? Not back to... to whatever we were before, but we were good. I miss that.” I miss you, he thinks, but he can’t say it. “What happened?”

Ash can’t open her mouth because she knows if she does, she’ll say exactly what she’s thinking, that they were good, but she watched him pick up Kristin at her bar and she was hit with how much his words had hurt her, and how much it hurt to have proof of him spending the night with someone else.

“I guess I’ve just been bottling up being mad about that comment you made.” She lied easily, shrugging, not meeting his gaze. “You are dating her, aren’t you; you’ve been together for a few weeks now.” And Ash isn’t sure which answer will hurt more.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He seems a little uncertain, and he’s reached the end of his cigarette.

“She’s good.” Ash says, quiet enough that Roger almost doesn’t catch it, and when he goes to comment, she looks up, smiling a little too brightly. “We’re good, for real.” He thinks for a moment that she’s correcting her earlier statement, but he’s not quite sure, and she reaches out to rest a hand on his shoulder, and he’s frowning, confused. There’s a sincerity in her eyes that he can’t help but believe, and as soon as she can see he believes her, she’s turned and headed back inside.

“Don’t you think I sound like shit?” Ash walks in as Freddie is pacing, listening to a playback of himself. As if working off muscle memory alone, he moves in to give Ash a distracted side hug, before letting her go. Ash herself is a little distracted, and she makes her way over to where John’s sitting by the sound engineer, deep in thought. She rests her chin on his shoulder, uncertain of what else to do, and he pets her face comfortingly as a form of acknowledgement. 

They’re so close to gold it’s almost painful, and she watches Freddie, restless, step back into the recording booth. Stepping back, Ash listens as he sings, hears the door open and close but doesn’t turn, just gives her best friend her full attention, and seeing her there, less troubled than earlier, bright and focused on him, Freddie’s own focus intensifies.

“What if we bounce it left and right for the ‘ah-ah-ah’s?” He suggested on the next playback, resting an arm on Ash’s shoulder, frowning at the soundboard. They listened, Freddie’s voice sliding from the speaks on the left to the right, a little hypnotically.

“And then centre for the last one!” Brian says, eyes bright, filled with a new energy, coming up and leaning on Ash’s other shoulder, to which she couldn’t help but grin, feeling the electricity crackle through the air as they listened back to the recording as they experimented on it.

“And blast it!” Roger cries; and there it is, coming together, gold.

Freddie picks Ash up, spinning her around, ecstatic, before he’s turning and reaching for Mary. They’re bottling lightning from the moment they step back into the studio, experimenting with their sound, and it’s like a weight has dropped from everyone’s shoulders, tension leaving only to be replaced with elation and excitement. Ash throws herself back onto the sofa between Kristin and Mary, positively beaming, and Mary wraps her arms around Ash, pulling her in for a tight hug, while Kristin tapped Ash’s leg with excitement. 

Everyone’s up, down, and all over the place; at one point, Ash is on Brian’s shoulders with a tambourine, and then she was pulling the change from her wallet, pouring it onto the drums, along with the others, and she and Kristin were botching the cha-cha to a playback of Modern Times Rock ‘N Roll as Freddie and Mary were stepping through a surprisingly good jive, and the other three were bopping along; Roger grinned as he watched Ash dance. Actually, she realises, he’s probably watching Kristin; she doesn’t dwell on it.

The night was growing later, and they were still working as Kristin called it a night, and Ash had her head in Mary’s lap as the boys were in the recording studio, trying to record with a bucket over the microphone, and Mary was nodding off against the back of the lounge but Ash felt electric. Men in suits come in asking for a demo, but she’s too wrapped up in the music being made to even really register them. They leave with a demo of the recording before she’s even fully realised they were there.

“Where’s Kristin gone?” Roger asks, eyes bright as he moves to the sofa. Ash pulls her legs back, making room for him, before she puts her legs in his lap without thinking, neither of them really register it, it feels like it always has, and they’re smiling at each other.

“I think she went home.” Ash told him, and Roger’s gaze slides to Mary, something fondly amused about his expression. His hand is on Ash’s thigh and something inside her feels sated.

“I think Mary’s about ready to call it quits too.” He mused, voice getting a little quieter as to not disturb her, before he looks back at Ash. “I appreciate you being cool about Kristin.” He said, and Ash rolled her eyes.

“Well I wasn’t going to flip out, that’s a pretty dead giveaway that something did happen between us.” Ash’s voice was light, she seemed more exasperated than anything else. Mary makes a noise in her sleep, and for a moment, there’s fear in Ash’s eyes that she had heard what Ash had said. Roger is quiet for a long moment, his expression nervous as he looks at Mary, and his hand begins to move in a comforting rhythm against Ash’s thigh. She doesn’t seem inclined to move or to ask him to stop.

“You guys sound so fucking good.” Ash finally breaks the silence, tension dropping as she beams at him.

“Well we’re glad to have you with us; our unofficial mascot.” He muses, and Ash smacks his arm, snorting out a laugh. “Fine, not a mascot, our... what do you do for us?” He asked, which only made Ash laugh harder. Mary made another noise, and Ash pressed her lips together, stifling a guilty laugh as she sat up, moving her legs from beside Roger to sit next to him, legs tucked up onto the sofa. He kept his hand on her thigh.

“I serve you drinks and lend Freds my clothes,” she clarified, and Roger nodded as seriously as he could, the two of them looking through the window to see Freddie and John waving about card board tubes as Brian was fiddling with the amp.

“So you’re our costumer?” He asked, and Ash made a thoughtful noise, smiling at the notion.

“Only if I can dress all of you-” and as she said it, Roger’s hand slowed, coming to rest at the top of her thigh. Ash’s smile became a little tight. “Of course I was going to be cool about Kristin.” It’s so fucking pointed it hurts both of them a little, and he folds his hands in his lap.

“Of course you can dress us, I’d look great in sequins.” He mused, tone still bright and amused, and Ash snorted, rolling her eyes.

“You give yourself too much credit, Rog.” But there’s still a tension there, and Roger turns to her, eyebrows raised, and his answer is so automatic that he doesn’t register it until the words are out of his mouth.

“Ash, look at me, look at my face; I look good in everything, I even look good in nothing.” 

Ash can feel in this instance that she’s at a crossroads; her mouth goes dry, and she has to look away, something in her chest tightening.

“You’re really doing this? You really decided that that was what you needed to say right now? God, you’re an idiot.” She gives a humourless laugh, standing. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He tries, but she just shrugs helplessly.

“You are who you are, Rog, I get it.” And she started collecting her things. “Just try not to act on your instincts, for Kristin, okay? She’s good. I’m going home, it’s late.” And she gives him a tired smile. “Tell the others I said goodbye; I am really proud of you guys.” 

Roger nods, giving her a weak smile, and watches her leave.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe  @laueecakee  @smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues@banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric @rogmobile @cardybenhardy @snacfu @perriwiinkle​ @the-strange-fan-girl​

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x oc #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #bo rhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #mary austin #ask your destiny to dance fic #the angry lizard writes

[littlemisssquiggles]

RWBY Musings #65: A Tale of Love. A Squiggle Meister’s Views on the similarities between Oscar and Salem

Someone asked “ Now I love parallels too and I’ve noticed that you would like to see a rosegarden Ozma Salem hand hold. As cute as that sounds, it kinda scares me. Ozma and Salem ended in tragedy. What would happen to Ruby and Oscar 😞 “

Squiggles Answers:

I'd love to see the hand hold scene mirrored in Ruby and Oscar because it was done during a moment where Salem and Ozma reunited and re-established their love for one another.

While Salem and Ozma's romance ended in tragedy, I still adore their love story because before their whole involvement with the Gods respectfully, they both first and foremost were two young lovers who wanted more than anything just to be together forever and went above and beyond to do that even if it meant disobeying the Gods.

The true tragedy wasn't that Ozma and Salem wound up sworn enemies but mainly how much the God's intervention changed them into two people unrecognizable from who they used to be to the point where you wouldn't believe either loved the other to the point of defying both the Gods and death itself to be reunited.

The positive that I take away from the Tragic Lovers or Fairy Tale (I think that’s their ship name) romance is the unyielding devotion and strength of their love or at least what it used to be. How much Salem and Ozma were willing to go through just to be together. Salem approached the Gods to beg for Ozma to be brought back to life for her because she couldn’t stand living the rest of her days without him and Ozma only chose to return to Remnant because the God of Light told him that Salem was still alive in that world. Let’s not forget that Ozma initially refused his godly task because in his eyes, Remnant wasn’t the same or as dear to him without his beloved Salem.

This is why I like this ship so much. Before RWBY revealed Ozpin and Salem’s past together, I was gunning for them to be lovers from the get go. Hence my previous musings like this one, this one and this one. I knew their love was going to end in pain anyways but I was still banking on them being companions and lovers and what we got was even more bittersweet than what I envisioned. A brave knight who rescued a lonely maiden from her captivity and the two fell deeply in love ever after. Who wouldn’t eat that up? This squiggle meister surely would. I’m a sucker for those types of romance stories. It hurts when you think about what Ozma and Salem’s tale became in the end. But I still ship it though. Still loving that Fairy Tale.

That's what I'd love to see and can see for a potential romance between Ruby and Oscar. Not the tragedy part, of course, although let’s admit, it will be in there since time and fate will arrive to challenge the bond between these two smaller, more honest souls given one’s connection to a certain other character.

Nevertheless, what I mostly would love to see in a future RoseGarden love story (if it’s in the cards) is that that unyielding love. That strong devotion to one another’s well-being and protecting each other while fighting together for what they both believe in and the lives of the people they both care about. When I look at Ruby, her righteous heart and desire to help others actually reminds me a lot of Ozma. You would think it’d be Salem but nah. I can actually see similarities between Salem and Oscar. Oscar’s infatuation with Ruby and obvious admiration of her strength, courageousness and pure heart reminds me of how Salem used to revere Ozma. Well…at least in that one shot we got.

Another similarity between Oscar and Past Salem that I noticed is just as how Salem lived a sheltered life trapped in her lonely tower dreaming of freedom and a life beyond its uncharted walls, the same can be said for Oscar who seemingly lived a sheltered and quiet life as a farmhand back on his aunt's farm while still fantasizing of a life beyond his home in Mistral.

The key difference between Salem and Oscar is that Salem was more self-seeking; albeit as a result of her unknown upbringing and being forced to live a lonely life locked off from the rest of the world by the only family she had; whereas Oscar is selfless. While we still don’t know much more about Oscar’s past with his family beyond the few scrapings of details left from V4, one can safely assume that Oscar was well loved and taken care of by his family.

Though he was only seen to have his aunt for guardianship, from what I observed back in V4, Oscar still retained a good relationship with his Auntie Pine who took no problem in taking Oscar into his household, providing him a comfortable home where he could’ve had his own room for privacy and a warm plate of food on the table every evening for supper in exchange for Oscar working on the farm which he didn’t seem to mind. Overall, though he desired more from his life, Oscar was quite comfortable and content living with his aunt hence the reason why he wasn’t so keen on leaving at first after Ozpin’s unceremonious arrival into his life.

Unlike Salem, Oscar more or less knew and felt love before leaving his old life behind which I guess made it all the more easy for him to give it. One characteristic I’ve noticed about Salem’s personality that always shines through, even in her past self, is her selfishness---that nature about her that always puts her desires above anything else.

This is the complete opposite of Oscar. One thing I’ve noticed about Oscar’s personality is that he makes a habit of pushing aside his own feelings in place of doing what he feels is right or better, not particularly for himself but for others around him as a whole.

This is not an entirely bad trait to have. I myself, do the same thing from time to time to avoid conflict or tension with others because I don’t like conflict. Someone once asked me what I thought Oscar’s personality type might be and my first guess was a INFJ. Speaking as someone with that personality type, I see quite a few traits of an INFJ in Oscar. Although I’m still gathering as much as I can about his persona as provided in the series, I’m still sticking with my first choice of Oscar having an advocate/ counsellor type of personality because there are key examples from the show where he’s exhibited that trait. Specifically with Ruby.

Ironically, it’s Oscar’s moments with Ruby that help bring out that caring, compassionate and willing to do what he can to help others type of personality in Oscar the most. Oscar cares for others, particularly with those closest to him. Even when he’s literally backed against a wall, Oscar puts himself last in the scenario.

This is a boy who got shoved into a wall by one of his peers after being wrongfully accused in one scene and is then seen making this person and the others a hot meal after they went looking for him after he went missing in another. 

Y’know, I harped a lot on V6 C9 on how they handled Oscar coming to terms with his feelings. But…y’know what? Now that I’ve had more time to think about the episode in terms of Oscar’s character, I realized that the bit with Oscar is surprisingly the most relatable thing I’ve seen in the show…at least to me.

Blake said the group needed space and that’s exactly what Oscar did. He went off on his own, let out whatever negativity he needed to get off his chest in that moment doing who knows what, came back and by the time the group found him, he was fine. All things forgiven if there was anything to forgive. Whatever lingering discomfort that Oscar might have harboured for Jaune was easily washed away when Jaune apologized and Oscar could see and hear how genuinely remorseful Jaune felt for his actions.

Though I still would’ve liked the episode to have shown how Oscar came to terms with his emotions and getting over it, I can’t be 100% mad anymore at the Writers for choosing to have Oscar adopt that attitude after the events of V6 C8…cause if it were me, I probably would’ve reacted and resolved the same way as Oscar did. I would’ve been cussing Jaune’s face in my mind for how he treated me with a face as straight as a pin but I would have forgiven him all the same after seeing how hurt he was for the things said and done and would have chosen to move on from the problem with better resolve; just as Oscar did.

I saw myself in Oscar while rewatching this moment and for that, I can’t be too mad at the writing for C9. Still mad. But not too mad. Only 65% versus the original 101%.  Oscar Pine--- right in the relatability! That’s why he’s my favourite!  This scene showed me how mature Oscar is for his age in how he takes in problems and decides to address them despite being the youngest of the group. 

Basically what I’m saying is that Oscar is a good boy. He’s such a good boy. Too much of good boy. Sigh. Please don’t hurt my precious freckled baby boy too much CRWBY. I want him to grow up big and strong and devilishly handsome so that he can sweep Ruby off her feet and the rosebuds can get married in 5-10 years and live happily ever after on a farm or whatever plot of land they can afford wherever in New Remnant during a time when the Gods have returned, the kingdoms are at peace again, the Grimm are there but are no longer the monstrous threat they used to be so that Oscar and Ruby’s future string band of children can grow up in a world void of war and the threats of the former Salem who would have moved on to have her happy ending with Ozma at long last in the afterlife. The end.

Returning to my point on Oscar and Salem now. Just as how Ozma arrived to free Salem from her captivity, you can almost say that the same was done for Oscar when Ozpin's arrival sparked his departure from home to become a huntsman. In a way, Ozma’s presence in Salem and Oscar’s lives gave them the push they needed to take the first step towards the freedom and change they both desired.

But as I mentioned before. Though Oscar and Salem share parallels, the defining difference between them is how either values others over themselves. As much as Salem’s past with Ozma made me empathize with her as a villain, it doesn’t excuse the fact that Salem is a person who is mostly out to achieve her own desires above anyone else’s. As a matter of fact, the revelation of her past and involvement with the destruction of Remnant only affirms my point. In her past life, Salem was probably so used to looking out for herself due to her years of isolation that it sort of developed a warped sense of egocentrism (not the word I was looking for but I’ll roll with it) that later translated into her relationship with Ozma.

I'm not denying the fact that Salem loved Ozma nor am I trying to imply that her feelings for him weren’t genuine at all. On the contrary, Salem definitely loved Ozma proving that she is capable of compassion. This is one of the things that makes Salem a far more intriguing villain to me now. What I appreciate about Salem and essentially Ozpin-Ozma too is that despite that fact that both represent the sides of good and evil in show; neither are entirely what they’re supposed to represent. They actually very gray characters.

Though Ozpin is the hero and personifies light and the preservation of all life in Remnant, Ozpin has been noted to have done some shady things that otherwise painted him in a negative light as we saw most of all this volume.

The same can be said for Salem. Although she is our main villain, I’ve noted times where Salem has shown a softer, kinder, even motherly side to her to some degree. For example, her relationship with Cinder Fall in particular. Cinder is Salem’s apprentice and the way Salem treats Cinder is almost like a surrogate mother with her daughter.  

I mean, Salem could have easily had Cinder killed with a snap of her finger just as she did with Lionheart and have her Maiden magic extracted and given to someone else more worthy if she so desired. We all know she has the capability to do that. So then why not do it? What reason does Salem have to keep Cinder alive especially knowing fully well how she is?

I don’t know about you guys but it reminded me of a strict parent punishing their child but still going easy on them. Still keeping a close eye on them because they know their child so well that they have full confidence that they’ll ultimately come of their senses.

 That’s why Salem is leaving Cinder alone to quote, ‘toil in her isolation until she redeems herself’. She’s punishing her but at the time, Salem also knows that Cinder will come back stronger and far deadlier than she was before because of this experience and that’s what Salem wants. It’s what she expects of her perfect apprentice. Her successor.

But here’s the thing. Salem loved Ozma and in the end, she still put her own desires about even him. Even if Salem is capable of loving someone, her selfish nature always resurfaces to prevail in her endeavours.

Rather than honouring Ozma's life and allowing him to rest as the God of Light said, Salem challenged the Gods again and again until it resulted in her winding up immortal but alone; cursed to walk Remnant’s face until the world is either destroyed or Salem learnt the value of life as the God of Light had hoped she would.

Did she though? Well that fact that she’s trying to gather all Four Relics while simultaneously making plans to jumpstart a Second Great War within the kingdoms of Remnant which would throw the world into the perfect chaos to get it permanently destroyed by the Gods’ return speaks volumes of how much she still hasn’t learned her lesson yet.

Salem may have loved Ozma and the life they built together after he returned but even that was later upturned by Salem’s own selfishness. From the get go Salem has only catered more for herself and even after all these years, she still refuses to see the light of what the God of Light warned her about herself. Say what you will about the Gods. Though the Brothers are also pretty grey characters themselves, it doesn’t change the fact that there was justification behind their actions with Salem. A lesson to be learnt that’s unfortunately still being avoided.

Salem was cursed with immortality because she refused to let go of her selfishness after attempting to trick the Gods into granting her desired wish of being reunited with her lover. As the God of Light rightfully said, in the beginning, when Salem made her first attempt to revive Ozma, her motives were worth pitying. As a viewer, I felt for Salem the first time. However after her second failed attempt and watching the people of First Remnant get manipulated and killed because of her personal vendetta against the Gods, my sympathy well dried up as I started to see Salem become the antagonist I know her to be.

And what’s even more depressing and noteworthy is that even after causing all that death and chaos to Remnant, Salem still did not learn her lesson and she still hasn’t to this current timeline in RWBY. She still continues to pursue her own desires and see the lives of others as nothing more but tools to use in her pursuit of what she wants.

This brings me to the meat of my post and why I’ve been making parallels between Oscar and Salem.

I have this theory---one that I’ll delve deeper into in a future musing--- about Oscar becoming an immortal just like Salem. Hear me out on this one. What if… Oscar meets the God of Light in the Realm between Realms similar to Ozma and asks him to grant him immortality. Not because he wants to preserve his own life but for the selfless motive of him desiring to use his newfound immortality to protect the people Oscar cared about while taking on the full mantle of saving humanity from the plight of Salem and her forces without the need to force Ozma and any more unsuspecting souls after him with such a task.

Imagine if… Oscar willing sacrificed his own life to end it. End the cycle and let it start over with him alone.  

Imagine if…Oscar became the last Wizard of Light. The only Wizard and the cycle resets with him as he’s turned immortal.

As I said, I plan to go more in depth with this theory soon in another musing but it’s definitely something I think could be a potential twist with Oscar’s story. I don’t want to put it as an expectation but I would love to play around with the concept of it.

I’ve seen many Pineheads worrying over Oscar being taken over by Ozpin completely or losing himself to the Merge so to counter that, I raise this possibility of Oscar essentially becoming the last reincarnate---the Last Wizard of Light as he willingly choses to dedicate the rest of his existence to stopping Salem while Ozpin, Ozma and all the other past Wizards culminated inside him over the centuries can finally be laid to rest knowing that Oscar will be the likeminded successor to carry out their legacy and mission all on his own and of his own choice as himself going forward.

If you’ve read any of my Oscar-themed musings and theories before, y’know I’ve been singing this idea of Oscar being the end to the reincarnation cycle along with him being the true reincarnate of Ozma’s original form.

I still stand very firmly by those theories because the series has set up Oscar being special---completely different from the other Wizards. The lingering question brought up in this series is whether or not Oscar will be just another one of Ozma’s lives to live out and I don’t think he will be. I believe the very fact that Ozpin reincarnated within Oscar of all people at such a young age compared to the other lives and in such a short space of time between rebirths was the first sign of how different his journey was going to be.

In the Legend of Korra series, Korra technically became the last Avatar and first Avatar in the second book. Basically the Avatar cycle sort of reset itself with Korra.

So I’d like to think Oscar will follow a similar experience where the reincarnation cycle will change with him. Oscar could symbolize the end and beginning to a new cycle. That’s why I like the concept of him becoming immortal. Instead of Ozma’s soul being reborn in the minds of different men and those souls coming together to form who we know today as the Wizard, Oscar will be the last one so that the next time Oscar dies---either he’ll die for good (meaning the God of Light strips him entirely of the reincarnation curse) or Oscar won’t die and will be reborn as himself at the last point of death or perhaps he’ll get to stay fourteen years old forever until Salem is defeated. Who knows? Overall I really love the idea of Oscar becoming an immortal just like Salem.

I mean sure Ozma had his reincarnation curse but technically his immortality wasn’t the same as Salem’s. Jinn did allude to Salem, quote, ‘meeting her adversary in time’. Of course, at the moment of revelation, the obvious assumption to that for me was Ozma since he’s the one we know is Salem’s main opponent.

However…Ozma once shared a relationship with Salem. He had a past with her. He loved her and I’d like to think that love is still there buried deep within. I don’t want to say that Ozma’s love for Salem has been his crutch but that little titbit is starting to make me wonder that perhaps…the true adversary that Salem was supposed to have wasn’t Ozma or any of the Wizards after him. It was Oscar.

For all we know, what if…Ozma and the other incarnates were just another experiment conducted by the God of Light similar to how he said Remnant was an experiment for him and his brother to learn from.

Imagine if… Light basically used Ozma and the other Wizards as guinea pigs in his formation of the perfect adversary for Salem---one the Gods believed could truly achieve what his successors could not. Defeat Salem once and for all and undo their mistake of the past. That could be an intriguing twist too. It does paint the Gods in a very heartless light more so than the actual canon did unfortunately but still worth tossing out as a theory y’know.

But yeah, that’s the theory I’m working with for now.

Returning to the original point of this response post, I know I’m hoping for Ruby and Oscar’s love to parallel Ozma and Salem in some ways but not all parallels have to end the same. Just because Ozma and Salem’s love ended in tragedy doesn’t mean that the same will befall Ruby and Oscar for their potential love story.

If Oscar and Ruby were to fall in love, I’d love to believe their love will be different. It’ll probably have its own fair share of harsh challenges particularly the ones stirred by Salem but it will be a different story with a much better end. A happier ending than the Fairy Tale lovers.

Y’know what’s ironic and what would best summarize my answer to this post. It was Ozma and Salem’s love that admittedly brought about the end of humanity in a way when you think about it. All the more reason for me to believe that it’ll be the love between Oscar and Ruby that will save the world. The relationship to blossom between them, the love and devotion they’ll come to share for each other and the people they care about---that’s what’ll save both Remnant and Salem from damnation.

I know it sounds cheesy but I do love me a good plate of cheese in romance.

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

 ~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

#squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #ruby rose #oscar and ruby #rwby rosegarden #ozma and salem #rwby fairy tale #rwby theories #rwby volume 6 spoilers #rwby musings

[saints-row-2]

film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film

happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.

so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.

Halloween (2007)

i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.

Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.

this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.

and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.

the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...

Halloween II (2009)

jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.

i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.

the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?

not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.

there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on  the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.

Halloween (1978)

what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.

i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ‘well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.

on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.

this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.

quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.

all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.

heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.

Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.

now things start going rapidly downhill

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.

man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.

this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.

outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.

this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.

what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.

this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.

H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.

i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.

Halloween: Resurrection

so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.

Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.

Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.

and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.

#rantsfilmwatch #this is around 4000 words long so yknow consider yourself warned

[legion1993]

To Find What You Were Missing, Is Like Seeing Your Own Heart

title:  To Find What You Were Missing, Is Like Seeing Your Own Heart

square: soulmates

pairing: jared x reader

rating: G (its alot more tame than anything else ive written for this challenge)

tags: maybe some language (i cant actually remember if there is any in there)

plot: its a surprise

created for @spnkinkbingo 

kink masterlist

To hear someone say that soulmates weren’t real at one point you would have agreed with them, but that fateful day when a mark appeared on your arm made you question everything you had thought fiction…

You were writing your latest book, you were a well known author, but you also loved loved loved Supernatural… this book happened to take you across the country to the southern areas to be specific, this took you to San Antonio, Texas… you had a feeling inside you nudging you to go there… you didn’t know why, you didn’t know what was going on…

Sitting in this little coffee shop, you plugged in your laptop, you were in this quiet little booth with plugs and everything, you opened your computer and of course that’s when it happned, you heard this voice it shook your soul, you never in a million years thought you would ever have the opportunity to hear it in person…

The conversation you heard went something like this (*and it was music to your ears but something inside you leapt up everytime it sounded…*):

Jared: “dude why would a girl like her be into me like that, she looks like she is a writer of some kind the way she is pouring herself into whatever she is doing on her laptop…”

Jared and Jensen take another look at the logos and things attached to your bag and your laptop… one in particular that sticks out to them is something they see every single week…

Jared: “I think that girl is…”

Jensen: “but what the hell would she be doing here…”

Jared then gets this nudging feeling, to which he orders another Java and brings it to you… Jensen following right on his tail…

Jared: “excuse me…”

You snapped out of your writing extravaganza to turn and see Jared & Jensen standing behind you… you smild at them and ushered for them to join you… that’s when the conversation of a lifetime started…

Y/N: “thank you for the java I really needed this…”

Jared: “its my pleasure say I have to ask the logos on your bag and your laptop are you perchance the famous expose writer whose gone to everywhere that supernatural has and written a piece on the town and its history as per to the show.?.”

You opened your laptop and went to your page logo and you turned your laptop to face them and they read it but what they saw was this….

Jared: “that’s amazing!!!! We cant believe we are meeting the one person who wrote this amazing expose on a panel we did, it was a very very intense article…”

Jensen: “can we ask you to write an exclusive for us?”

You were a little taken back by what you were getting asked, you were getting asked by both Jared and Jensen to write an exclusive interview with them right now…

You pulled up your laptop and pulled out 2 of the interview mics that you had in your bag you gave one to each of them… you all sat in that coffee shop and all you could do was smile as you set up the recording program so you could write the points later…

Y/n: “this is the first celeb interview im doing bare with me gentlemen…”

It was then that you started the recording….

Y/N: “whats up everyone in my travels I am currently in San Antonio Texas… I started by sitting in a coffee shop and writing but right now I am sitting with 2 of the stars off the hit tv show Supernatural… I know the answer to this cause I ask this everytime I go live like this but does anyone out there believe in fate, cause I do… its not everyday anyone gets to meet 2 of their celeb crushes at the same time… I mean sorry guys….”

Jared and Jensen smiled and laughed but everytime you looked at the guys Jared’s eyes just lingered on your features… you found yourself staring at him a lot more than you should…

Jared: “we take it as an honor to be interviewed by the person who speaks the truth in everything she writes…”

Y/N: “my first question is do you guys believe in fate?”

Jensen: “absolutely, when doing any kind of job or work you need to believe that anything that happens, happens for a reason… that reason is usually explained best through fate…”

Jared: “of course cause I think fate is speaking to me right now…”

You were intrigued…

Y/N: “what do you feel fate saying to you right now Jared?”

Jared: “I feel like she is nudging at me to take you on a tour of somewhere you have never been…”

Y/N: “I would be honored to go on a tour of a place ive never been before… but now my next question is do you guys find yourselves honing into your inner Dean and Sam on a daily basis.?.”

Jared: “I find im constantly channeling Sam and sometimes ill notice it when I am sitting and doing reading for something or even when im hanging out with Jensen at the gun range we will both channel Sam and Dean just in our competitive nature… but yes I do…”

Jensen: “hell yes… I channel dean constantly… Jared is right though if we are being competitive we are channeling our inner Winchester… but that’s ok cause its what led us to come talk to you…”

You couldn’t help but giggle a bit before smiling and looking at them…

Y/N: “do you guys have a favorite quote from the show that you guys apply to your daily lives? If so can you guys say it as you did in the show?”

Jensen: “a wise man once told me, ‘family don’t end in blood.’ But it don’t start there either. Family cares about you, not what you can do for them. Family is there, for the good, bad, all of it. They got your back, even when it hurts. That’s family.”

Jensen then laughed and ushered for Jared to do his…

Jared: “it doesn’t matter what you are. It only matters what you do. Its your choice.”

Y/N: “can each of you tell me what the quote means to you personally and how you hope it speaks to your fans.?.”

Jensen: “my quote obviously is when Dean is quoting Bobby is season 10 episode 17 but personally for me this quote means no matter who your actual family is, you will still have family amidst the people you choose to surround yourself with… to my fans I hope this quote lets you guys know that even your closest friends can be your family, family isn’t defined by blood it doesn’t end there either it is defined by those that we surround ourselves with in hopes of making a happy life for ourselves…”

Jared: “personally this quote is basically a weapon if im being told I cant be something, profession wise or whatever cause im me… I immediately start repeating this quote and it speaks to those figurative demons that are trying to put me down… to the fans I hope this quote will help you guys fight those figurative demons as it did me…”

Y/N: “one last question before we wrap up here, you guys play some incredible people on tv but a lot of the fights on the show are very impactful to a lot of people, do you guys have a favorite fight scene? If so state the episode number and briefly describe the fight scene if you guys don’t mind.?.”

Jensen: “we don’t mind at all sugar… the episode im coming out of season 9 episode 23, to briefly sum it up but most of us know what happened… to sum it up in 9x23 we obviously have the big showdown between the boys and Metatron, after a long tedious battle between dean and Metatron.. well ok let me make this sound a lot better than it already is gonna… earlier in season 9 we witnessed Dean procur the mark of cain and the first blade fro Cain himself... that however was just in hopes of defeating Abbadon, but now we are finding out that the Mark of Cain orders its host to kill, although in Dean’s case it would ultimately be his downfall… for we see just before the battle between Metatron and Dean we see a scene between Dean and Sam at the impala as they are gearing up, but dean knocks Sam unconscious and appligizes before walking away the first blade in hand, but the first bit of the fight is just metatron taunting dean and dean making sure that metatron knew he was a douche… but right at the moment Dean was about to attack metatron swooped in and started beating on Dean… this fight scene is my favorite for many reasons one of the main reasons being you get to see more of that brotherly love coming out of the relationship between Sam and Dean when Sam walks in on Metatron stabbing Dean… this scene is what set the course obviously for season 10, obviously it set the course for a lot of things… but right at that moment, it touched me, it strikes several cords with me everytime I watch it…”

Y/N: “I agree I mean when I watched this episode for the first time I could tell that something bad was gonna happen, but there was something inside me that snapped when I watched Dean get stabbed, it was like a part of me broke, then watching the chaos ensue, as Crowley put the blade in Dean’s dead lifeless hand, and say his little speech made me panic… but anyway im getting emotional… Jared what about you.?.”

Jared: “umm for me this is a tough one cause watching everything again after its been released or been filmed strikes cords but the scene that shoke me the most happened at the end of Season 13 in the finale where dean finally says yes to Michael and kicks lucifers ass, that’s power but what made that emotional I guess was the fact that part of me was channeling my inner Sam Winchester when I rewatched the premiere of that episode… It made me think about all the shit Sam & Dean had already gone through but now to have themselves being separated once more made things all the harder… but when I compare how close Sam and Dean are with how close Jensen & I are it makes things that much easier, it just puts everything into perspective… to say that this scene didn’t strike several cords with me would be a lie… its like watching your brother or family member or best friend do something that for the longest time either people have tried to get them to do or that they have been saying they wouldn’t do finally do that thing and everything suddenly become a lot worse for wear…”

You wiped your eyes a bit at the thought of the only other episode that made you yell and cry for hours… you were not sure of anything except that Jared was the hottest thing besides your coffee that you had seen or had in your sighs all day…

Y/N: “that was very traumatic, it was heartbreaking but gentlemen I want to thank you both personally for speaking with me here in this humble little coffee shop, but I also want to personally say how thankful I am that you guys would notice someone so small as me, and take the time to sit in this coffee shop and speak with me… I want you guys to know that it was a true honor to talk to both of you.”

Jensen: “no Y/N thank you for writing so many wonderful expose’s on the conventions and our panels, for the fans who cant be there in person. Its you who brings joy to everyone with your articles, its us who should be thankful to meet you and speak with you…”

Jensen took notice of everything that was going on and all the tension in the room, he under the table on his side nudged Jared who then proceeded to speak…

Jared: “I hope im not being too forward but would u consider having dinner with me sometime? Maybe even tonight…”

You at this time didn’t realize that you were still recording, but you suddenly started blushing not realizing that no words were coming out of your mouth…

Y/N: “tonight sounds good, umm what time and where?”

Jared took a few seconds and wrote down his address on a napkin where you did the same thing on a different napkin except it was your phone number that you wrote down. You slid it to him as he did for you and you smiled knowing that at somepoint after this you might have to find something to wear that isn’t jeans and a shirt.

Jared: “ill give you a text later! Jensen, we have to go meet Danneel and Misha for the last minute details for the flight patterns for shooting…”

Jensen: “of course I guess ill see you around Y/N…”

Jared comes round to you and kisses your cheek, you make a lot of details like how his lips felt against your skin, how much your head was singing, but you sat there for a while longer watching as those 2 gorgeous men left out the door, and got into their car which drove away.

Y/N (to self): “oh my god, im gonna be having dinner with Jared Padalecki, Oh My God I left my recorder on… that’s not a good thing… im not sure how much it caught but oh well at least ill always have the tape as a reminder of the greatest day or my life…”

Jared and Jensen were silent on their drive but it was not too far along before Jared lets out a calm sigh…

Jensen: “what are you thinking about?”

Jared: “the smile on her face, the glow in her eyes, the way she giggles… god I feel so alive…”

Jensen: “what you said about the fate question… where did that answer come from?”

Jared shrugs before answering…

Jared: “to tell you the truth im not sure, It just came out, it happened… I don’t know it came from my heart….”

Jensen: “I think she is your soulmate… did it feel like your heart was gonna leap right out of your chest?”

Jared: “yes it did, it also felt like the sweetest thing ever, her scent made me feel so feather light…”

Jensen: “its love that’s forsure but its also possible that she is your soulmate.”

This left Jared pondering about this the entire drive to meet up with Danneel and Misha… but something else had stuck with him, something made him text you, something made him start a text conversation, and send messages… but something stopped him from sending them while in the car. Maybe it was the fact that Jensen was right there, or the fact that they were driving to meet their collegues, or whatever it was he decided to put it off…

You however were packing up your shit, you had transposed the interview recording into a nice newsletter, you were somewhat of a fast typer when it came to this shit… maybe it was your heart beating so fast inside of your chest or maybe it was your head spinning so fast it felt like it might fall off, but you felt something stir you..

You left the shop and went to this thrift shop, to try and find something to wear… while browsing the racks upon racks of clothes you couldn’t find anything that tickled your fancy till you brushed through another rack and found something that looked kinda dangerous and totally sexy but you wondered if you would feel like yourself in it, so you decided to take it and try it on, what was the worst that would happen…

You were in the dressing room and you slid into that dress, you instantly felt empowered! It was a one long sleeve with a cold shoulder cut out and a sexy side cut out in black and it was the most gorgeous thing you ever in your life had tried on. You felt like yourself but you also felt sexy… you knew tonight would be special it didn’t technically matter what you wore, but you were getting this regardless of your inner conscience…  you took the dress off and put your clothes back on, you grabbed your bag and the dress and left the change room.  You went to the teller and checked out, you had shoes that would go with it, and you didn’t care that Jared would be taller it made it all the more fun…

You left the thrift store and headed back to your motel and waited patiently to hear from Jared…  it was while you were in the middle of eating lunch that you phone dinged saying you got a text message. By the end of this conversation it went something like this…

you instantly knew you had made the right choice in buying that dress, however you got a pit of butterflies in you stomach at the thought of the dinner being only a few hours away, you looked at the directions to where Jared had written down for you, when you looked at the map it said it was only 45 minutes away… you decided that you would leave a bit earlier to save time and incase you got lost as well…

Soon it was time to get ready you put on the dress after of course taking a shower slipping into the hidden nipple covers (cause bras are uncomfortable) and put in the supports to make your boobs pop… but something else was wrong, you didn’t know it right then but something was wrong, or maybe it wasn’t wrong but something changed in you as you stared at yourself in the mirror, you grabbed your little black bag, stuck your license and phone inside grabbing your keys you left the hotel room… heading down the interstate you arrived in plenty of time…

You were so nervous, you didn’t even see what was right near your eyes… which was this huge gate, I mean this really big gate, you saw an intercom on the left side, well I mean closest to you… you pressed it, and waited a few seconds…

Jared: “hello…”

Y/N: “hey its me… its Y/N.”

Jared: “hey come on in just park infront of the house…”

You went through the gate once it opened, you drove nice and slow making sure to take in every bit of scenary… that’s when you got to this loop, you went around it and parked the car in front of the house. You got out and suddenly felt overwhelmed, you were so nervous your knees were quivering but you bucked up your courage and went up the stairs and to the door.

Jared was at the door instantly before you could even ring the bell, you were starring into the face of a man who not only had you just met but that also had asked you out all in the same day… he welcomed you inside where he then held out his arm for you as he started to lead you through his extensive house…

Jared: “so tonight we are having chicken parmigiana I hope that’s ok with you… but ya this is my place…”

Y/N: “can I level with you for a moment?”

Jared: “of course…”

Y/N: “im actually a little nervous about this, I mean this is like my first date in well ever…”

Jared: “I know what you mean… but at least we can figure this out ourselves… together…”

You nod and take a slight breath as you start telling him about how the article went like how it turned out, how much love it got already, how you felt about it, how you felt while writing it, then you noticed something, a gleam in his eyes, something that sparked his curiousity, something that sparked your curiousity, you didn’t know why but your heart suddenly felt lik it was gonna jump right out of your chest. Jared had you sit at the table while he went to dish up the dinner, you sat there waiting patiently… the smell of food coming your way, then he came back into view…

Jared: “alright be careful its hot, but its ready and smells incredible…”

Y/N: “it smells amazing Jared, thank you…”

Jared sat down right in front of you and you felt something within you leap out and with that came some words, but in the form of a question, one that you didn’t know where it came from cause you weren’t thinking about that at all…

Y/N: “jared during the interview I noticed that you took a few stolen glances and that you couldn’t take your eyes off me… but I know im not the only one that feels this sudden and I mean very sudden spark between us… please tell me im not going crazy and I think ill sleep better at night…”

Jared: “your not crazy Y/N, I feel it too, I felt it ever since first seeing you in that café before Jensen and I approached you, before that interview, my heart has been feeling different its like somethings happening, somethings between us obviously but what is it…”

Y/N: “do you think anyone else in the café picked up on what we were feeling? or was it just us?”

Jared shrugged but then remembering back to the car ride with Jensen who had clearly mentioned what his theory which seemed to fit the bill and everything you guys were feeling…

Jared: “Jensen did stop me dead in my tracks in the car after we left the café, he thinks that we are soulmates, only to the effect of he went through the same thing with his wife… he knows what he is talking about, but I wonder right now if the way we are feeling is just really good timing or if its just fate working her magic…”

You shrugged and took a bite of your food, but didn’t have a clue as to the events to follow…

Y/N: “I think he is right…”

Jared: “what makes you say that?”

Y/N: “well im an investigative journalist by trade and my instincts are as sharp as a double edged sword, but something shoke me the moment I entered San-Antonio, it was like the wind was gonna push my car over or something cause on the way here I felt the same thing, it felt just like my heart does now… it feels..”

Jared: “does it feel like its gonna jump right out of your chest?”

Y/N: “does your breathing feel like its gonna get hitched in your throat everytime you go to speak…”

Jared: “do you have this sudden desire to just be right close to eachother…”

You didn’t move right away before watching Jared forsake the food, forsake the chair and the table, as he walked over to you and upon reaching you he wrapped you in his embrace and kissed you with a passion that could make fireworks… and it felt like neither of you were empty anymore, it was like you were whole, you were more whole than you had been in your entire lives…

Jared: “will you stay here, with me, tonight…”

You nod and the rest is a blur of passionate love and romance…

#spnkinkbingo

[behindbrowneyezz]

Im really surprised how much hearing about my dad helping my aunt has really woken me to a bit of things. I really cant believe that he is so disappointed in me, wants so little to do with me, that i’m offically the only one he doesnt speak to. I shouldnt be surprised. I mean, ive been a giant drunken brat. But it definitely still hurts as you can imagine. 

I miss him. but I miss the girl i was before i started drinking and smoking weed even more. she was strong, loving, and still always had faith in everyone. I miss that girl. BUT i cant to go back to the past. All i can do is try to do better, when you know better you do better. Boy, do i realize how much I have to learn still. Ive been a coward, ive lied to a ton of people that probably had good intentions with me at some point, Ive pushed away any one thats tried to get close but it just is easier to not set my self up for heartbreak.

I can only wish my dad the best. When i think about how my life is, i AM really happy. I just miss i guess the relationship i thought i had with my father. I cant make him come back around in my life, thats actually not what i want. I think him and i are just two very different people and I cant stand to be around a human that has so much hate in his heart. I hope that hes happy, but i want him to stay away from me. Im glad hes helping his family, hes a better version of himself today then he EVER has been. SO i’ll give him that. HE has worked hard and been through so many crazy things. 

Im just writing this out now so that i can get these little thoughts out before i go have one of the very best weekends ever. I dont want to worry about the past as much. i really need to learn to let go and let God do all the work. (well some, haha) Then wish for the best. But its time to truly stop worrying about what my relatives have going on and just know that if they wanted to they would. Im only going to be this young for so long. I have to make the best of it. Well, im off for the day. 

xo

a

[irregodless]

ive just been thinking about that guys antifeminism speech for a while

so in case you havent heard, which you havent because this is only something that happened to me basically, in my class this guy in front of me was talking about how he had to give a speech in his next class too (incidentally so did i, but i stopped thinking about it and reading the book required by class to listen)

everything in quotes is paraphrased so keep that in mind, but it captures the essence

he starts by talking about the class and the speech. some friends ask what its about and hes like “its against feminism” and you can hear the “:/” in their silence

the group is a boy a girl and this guy who later in class confessed to eating horse shit. multiple times.

they clearly dont care much about feminism i dont think but theyre like “thats kind of a controversial topic isnt it! you think its going to go well since youre a man?” and shitmallet is all like “see THATS stereotyping and THATS bad.”

except its not because not only have men talking about feminism (particularly why its not good) proven to be awful, but also, they were justified because he was also awful

and like, i know that feminism can be hurtful to trans ladies and woc, but also, this is real life at community college and nobody even realizes these are even things let alone problems. but just hearing someone say “feminism is shit” immediately triggers a response in me like “I Don’t Trust Like That” to think theres a valid reason. its a black and white way of thinking but its telling when someone flat out says its bad, like, entirely. let alone this guy.

anyway he gives a good like two minute talk about how you should imagine a person in your life, a mother, sister, daughter, whatever, who you want to protect. it sounds like the justification people try to use to try and beg men to care about rape by appealing to their sense of family

and he goes “these are all people we want to protect. and im going to tell you all why you should protect them from....... Feminism” and i nearly fuckin DIED i had to hold back laughter

so this is where his argument starts to fall to pieces. understand im only addressing his argument and its lack of merit here. i think it goes without saying its just kind of generally shit

all like

protect yer womenfolk from catchin’ the Thinkin’ Disease, lads

or

yer womens will know endless untold agony and grief if they learn how shit theyre being treated...

like. as a man. you really dont have a right to be saying “no, honey, im protecting you FROM feminism.” thats kind of like going to pride, telling everyone why pride is bad because it does some things some times and being like “as a straight man i know whats best for gay people”

okay so moving on, he makes the only decent statement he says the whole while which is basically he doesnt like how it furthers the gap between men and women and it turns women into nothing but victims. like. hes got lots of shit missing but hes STARTING to get the point i guess. like. to stop women from being victims. but hes trying to do that by....... silencing the women

i guess women cant be victims if? nobody knows they are???

but heres where we get some fuckin good ol logical fallacies n shit

“its the mens jobs to look after the women” okay so: reinforcing gender roles. putting a gender role on yourself that youll just complain about for being expected to take care of women. you think women shouldnt be treated like helpless victims and should be able to (kind of) think and speak for themselves, and yet, you think that they HAVE to have men there to take care of them.

like can we just think on that for a minute

women shouldnt be treated like they cant take care of themselves. and we should accomplish that by not letting women take care of themselves

like just?????? how do you NOT see the contradiction. i wish i was his teacher. i dont think you can give him a bad grade for having a differing opinion but you can DEF tear him about for not having his shit together

which might nto be fair considering you might not focus on that if it was something you agreed with. but also, consider the following: fuck this guy

but like then he goes on about how “yeah i dont want to like remove womens right to vote or anything, but feminism is garbage now. feminism started off with good reasons [though i wonder if hed been born at that time if he wouldnt say “dont you miss it when women and children were seen and not heard?”] and its this third and fourth wave feminism thats shit.” and then he says, now get this, “i dont like all this nonsense with not wearing shirts and” pause for dramatic effect. “dyeing their hair green and shit.”

LIKE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

i like it when women do things as long as its things i like like being guilted into sleeping with me and throwing their lives away and making me breakfast

i dont like it when women do things i dont personally approve of >:(((((

like i genuinely wonder if he thinks that the hairdye is directly related to it, or if hes just saying like. its something that tends to happen around this generation of feminism

but GOD i hope he thinks women are dyeing their hair to personally spite him i can only fucking HOPE

anyway he closes it and the man with a copy of dbz on his backpack and the woman with a uninteresting voice are like “wow i was worried at first but you made good points.......................”

and im just writing half of it down and messaging izzy and justin about it because i cannot BELIEVE

like im just. so lost and dumbfounded at how shit that argument was. and also that hes apparently so offended by women not wearing shirts.

i just. im just. i wish i was in a debate class with him so i could tear him down

but im too lame of an ally to talk out about people in real life because im scared and dont have a chance to prepare which will lead to me either shouting crying or both and not having ANY of my facts together (not that it matters apparently considering you can just say whatever you want apparently)

also he says "men have problems too" and i almost rocketed into the sun

this speech was written by one of the founders of the republic of gilead i swear

#rape mention but like only in name #antifeminist sentiments but you should be able to get that much out of the first sentence #what im going to be discussing #but the sentiments arent from me.

[caitay-blog]

this is the longest time ive gone without speaking to him on my own.

without any real distraction. without me having the last word. I don’t think it will last.

I say to myself, in these quiet times, that i want him to miss me... that i have to give him a chance to miss me... that he’ll never know what its like without me if i constantly bend to his every want.

that’s all I’ve ever done, thrown all my dignity and self respect out the window for a chance to see him. gone back on all my promises to myself in the name of life being too short.

i miss him, i miss the comfort and home feeling i get when I’m with him. How even now, even after everything, i’m in pure bliss beside him. but those times never last, im aways left with a weeks worth of anxiety and it tortures me. I physically can’t breathe, can’t sleep, cant focus. and i remind myself how insignificant it all is, that i will be ok of course i will be ok he’s just a boy and I’ve gotten over lost loves before. Maybe the difference is that i never had him. Im still in the pursuit, which is exciting and hopeful... how could i have any hope left? How could i be so blinded?

If i stay silent he will wonder, he will ask me whats wrong and i wont have an answer. i could never tell him i want him to miss me. i cant ever be so vulnerable, i try and i fall short every time. I can tell him I’ve been busy... with work, with the meetings, ive gone back to the gym, ive started reading and writing. All the things he tells me he’s doing... his hobbies. I know there was a time when it didnt matter what he was doing. He’d facetime me on vacation, from his baseball games, he’d text me at all hours. He doesn’t any more because he’s no longer pursuing, he has me right where he wants me.

But i dont want to be in that place. Second place. It isnt good enough. He does make time for me, but it’s not enough.

I want him to miss me, to think about things that remind him of me, to drive past places and wonder, to hear a song and smile, and then i want him to feel sad that he fucked this up. It has been the only way i have ever had someone realize... by walking away. And usually, despite an inability to believe it could ever happen, i move on. but i have never had to do it all on my own.

I moved to new york. mark moved to california. paul died. bryan went back to his wife. Now i have to walk away from you knowing that when i turn around you’ll be standing there and ill have to make the decision to walk back to you or keep walking and wait... hope... that you’ll chase after me... and keep walking whether you do or not.