#its not like that important of a position but its the first one ive had besides crew and

[immatrashpanda]

people weren't made to work 40 hours a week. they were made to paint and make little unicorns out of scrap wood and run around in the rain with their friends before running away together but eventually coming back because they found a Nickelback cd on the ground and they just had to share their discovery and then go home and read and go to sleep with a constellation night light

#moth's mutterings #very specific post but yaknow #we named the unicorn freddy #she is my daughter and i love her very much #there was just like a nickleback cd on the ground for some reason #i havent had a chance to play it yet so i dont know if its to scratched up to work #i also got a position as assistant stage manager at the community playhouse #its not like that important of a position but its the first one ive had besides crew and #i thought i had been kinda annoying when i met the stage manager and she didnt like me so i was a little worried i wouldnt get it #but the director says i got it #fuck capitalism #yeah

[dangerkittenclaws]

plight of pandora pt2

johnny x simon x reader

word count: 2k!

warnings: hospital setting, barely there violence, brain injury, memory loss, swearing, fluffy ending, eventual poly smut - MDNI +18

a/n: woohoo, chapter 2! sorry for the long wait - i have little time that i get to myself these days, but i promise they'll keep coming!

In the helicopter, the medic was inserting an IV into your arm.

“-az? Where’s Gaz?” you slur a bit.

“He’s right behind you.” Price reassures you.

“I’m here. You’re doing so good, Panda.” You feel Gaz put a hand on your hip. You try to look over to him.

“I…’m sorry ‘bou the mission.”

Price answers for him, “It’s done and over with, don’t worry about that now Sergeant.”

“You heard the Captain.” Gaz smiles at you softly, ending all arguments from you.

Kyle is your buddy. You had met and gotten close to him first when you joined the 141. He had introduced you to everyone on base, accompanied you to trainings and sat next you in the mess hall until you were comfortable and had found your place. You learned quickly how to banter back and forth with him and the rest of the guys. Now you were ruthless and smart with your retorts, the worst of all of them.

You squeeze your eyes closed as the helicopter hits a bit of turbulence. It's the one thing you weren’t exactly fond of, flying. Your head pounds again. You can feel the blood in your brain pulsating from the beat of your heart. If the guys hadn’t reassured you, you would have thought your skull was exposed. Gaz’ hand squeezes over your hip again. You’re sure he was frowning without having to look.

“I’m going to give you some morphine, okay?” the medic says to you. “It might make her a bit sleepy but nothing too strong for now until we touch down.”

You weakly nod in appreciation.

You can feel a small flash of cold run through your arm from the saline flushes he uses. Its almost enough to make you shiver.

You realize there should be two more bodies in the helicopter. Your eyes shoot open to look down at your feet. There they are. Johnny and… that other man.

Johnny is watching you like a hawk, eyes full of shadowed panic. 

He reaches out to you, “20 more minutes, lass, it’ll be over.” He knows you hate flying, more so probably in a prone position.

You try to focus on the other man as if he was going to disappear. He’s looking down at his clasped hands that are resting in between his knees. He looks like someone important. He looks sad. Because of me?

Your eyes start to feel heavy again but it feels different. It's not on your brains accord this time.

You glance at Price, asking silent permission to close them. You still don’t remember the man sitting at your feet. You don’t remember the mission. You barely remember your expertise. You’re scared that if you let yourself close your eyes you won’t remember anything.

You wake up to a barely lit room. It's easy on your head. Two black shadows are sitting next to you.

You instantly panic. They were surely the enemy waiting for you to wake up, waiting to interrogate you.

Your heart can’t help but speed up and it's heard clearly on the monitor next to you. You’re giving yourself away!

Your brain doesn't respond to your berating, only panicking more.

Oh fuck, one of them is moving slowly.

You hold your breath, maybe they’ll think you're still asleep and spare you.

They come closer to touch your wrist.

Your fist reacts before your brain can comprehend it.

“The fuck?” It says. The other figure jerks.

“Huh? Panda, it’s okay. It’s okay. Simmer down lass. It’s just us.” This one gets up fast.

The light blinds you. This is where they torture you, you’re sure. 

You feel a warm hand on your face as well as tears. Again?

You open your eyes, scared to know the truth.

Oh.

It’s Johnny…and the man. He’s holding his chin over his balaclava. Shit, did you really hit the guy?

You wonder if they ever separate. Are they.. together?

Wait. Aren't you together with Johnny? You think hard about it. Maybe?

“Bonnie, you alright?”

“She checked me and you’re asking how she feels?” The man says laughing. At least he isn't angry.

“I.. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Tears wet your face. The man walks back over to you. You feel guilty when he doesn’t touch you.

“I know, baby. It’s okay. I thought you were having a nightmare.”

“No.. I mean, yes, kind of?” You weren’t dreaming but it wasn’t real.

“Looks like someone is awake. Nice to meet you, Pandora. I’m Doctor Halverson, sounds like you’re a little confused,” A tall gentleman walks in taking careful control of the room.

You nod, surveying him as best as you can.

“Your brain CT scan shows that your head caught your fall pretty good, here, you’ve concussed and ended with a brain injury.” He points to the black and gray image on the computer screen he’s pulled up. 

“Brain injury?” Johnny starts up.

“These things can be tricky with what you remember and what you don’t - but usually you will regain everything within the next few months. I’m going to send in a neurologist to have him go over some things to do and look out for. In the meantime, your wounds seem to be on the right track, your team did an excellent job.” 

Simon's face falters, but quickly resumes his usual schooled expression. He glances at Johnny for reassurance.

“Will I… remember everything? I’ll be better?”

“Normally yes, we’ll put you on some medication to help cognitive function first, see how you do with that before we start anything else.” 

You incline in agreement, trying to wrap the neurons in your brain around a situation that’s floating away.

Soon, you’re being taken carefully back to the condo the three of you share near the base. Johnny, Simon, and you.

It makes you nervous even though you know that the old you was comfortable here, living with two men. You had learned when you were in the hospital that indeed, you all were in a relationship. You weren’t opposed to the idea, they were after all, very attractive men. Simon, you learned, told you that they would take everything slow and make you comfortable as possible, to take it a day at a time.

“How about ordering in for a movie night, lass?” Johnny suggests, setting his and your bag down by the door as he toes his shoes off.

“Sure.” you say. It’s not really a wholehearted response. You’re tired of thinking and you want the decisions made for you.

Like he knows, Simon comes over and gently puts his hands atop your shoulders and starts to move them in a magical way that makes you slump into him slightly. You can hear the smile in his voice, “Sit down, love, you just try to relax for now.”

You nod again and sit down on the couch, sitting in the middle, not knowing that it was your favorite spot and had been molded to your frame over time.

“How about that little Indian place down the road? They have your favorite - butter chicken.” You glance back at him, brows drawn. 

The confusion comes first, you don’t remember that. You don’t remember your first time having that delicious dish with the two of them on your third date. 

Anger now heats up in your belly. Your glance turns into a cold glare, and again before you can properly breathe, you’re standing up, going into what you hope is the bathroom and slamming the door. Was he not in the room when the doctor uttered the words brain and injury? 

Your anger simmers as you look up to yourself in the mirror. The moment your eyes reflect back, they fill with tears. Defeat replaces anger quickly within you. Your mind swirls with flashes of moments you assume were once important and meaningful. 

“Panda, I’m sorry, please, I didn’t realize,” Johnny pleads behind the door. You can hear Simon whispering to him, telling him to give you space. You send a silent thank you to him and shut your eyes.

Breathing out, you turn the shower handle over and start to strip. You at least remember how to do basic tasks. Just don’t ask me to name parts of a gun or how the three of us met.

Your shower is as nearly as hot as it would go, turning you pink as you scrub your skin as if underneath the layers would be some sort of recollection. Your tears had long washed away, but the bitterness you felt lingered on your tongue. You realized you still had a bandage covering your abdomen. It wasn’t big, but the bruising around it was a hideous shade of purple.

The water finally turned frigid and goosebumps appeared on your skin. You took a deep breath and let it out, trying to breathe out the last few days of stress along with it. Opening the shower curtain, you see clean sweatpants, a tanktop and panties folded neatly on the counter. You grab a towel from the hook and dry off well before peeling off the wet bandage and replacing it with a new one from the box that was set behind your clothes. Eagerly, you put on the comfortable items. The sweatpants were a size too big, you noticed, just like you liked them.

You open the door to smell the warm, spicy aroma coming from past the living room. You inhale, trying to savor it, hoping it gets locked away in an active brain cell for later.

“There she is. Make yourself a plate, baby.” Simon looks to you from the couch, the two of them already half-way through with their own. Johnny looks down to his plate and back up to you, giving you a sweet, shy smile. You return it with a small upturn of your lips, granting him forgiveness even though you know it was really your own doing and hope he understands.

You’re grateful for the chance that Simon gives you to do things yourself. You nonchalantly pile your plate high with rice, rich and saucy chicken, and warm naan and make your way to the middle of the couch. 

You arrange yourself to sit cross-legged as Johnny turns on House, MD. You do remember that. It’s your favorite TV show. It’s just engaging enough to watch intently but you’d seen it plenty of times to let it play as background noise if need be. You give him a big genuine smile this time, “I do remember this, though, Johnny… thank you.” 

You feel less like a stranger tonight as you get settled in between the two of them and start to eat. Hours pass into the night with light conversation; some added blankets and a few episodes later, the three of you cuddle into each other like any other night. You lay on Johnny’s chest with your feet over Simon’s lap. The darkness behind your eyes gets heavier by the minute as does the fear in your heart. You start to anxiously rub your feet together until Simon puts his hand over them.

A few minutes pass by as you fidget until you give up your words.

“What if.. What if I don’t remember it all? What if I don’t remember you or my job or-” you whisper, breaths coming quickly now. Johnny instantly sits up a bit bringing you along with him. “Bonnie, it’s not going to come in an instant. I know you want it to. I know you’re scared but you heard the doctor. It’s going to be a minute and we’re going to be here with you every step of the way.” Your breath hitches at his first words, anxiety running through you. His hand rubs your back up and down in an effort to get your breathing calmer.

“Johnny’s right love. It’s not going to hit you like a mack truck one day. It’ll be bits and pieces until the puzzle is back together. I promise, my Panda.” Simon lifts your chin up to look you in the eye, and wipes away tears that had escaped. You fall in love with his lips again as he speaks to you, you remember them from the night he stitched you up. 

You acquiesce and Johnny lays you back down on top of him. Your eyes start to close again and you reach out to grab his forearm and bring it to your chest. You are far too tired to remember, but you had always slept with your hands around his arm, snug against your chest. 

Taglist: @glossysoap, @bookobsessedram, @ohworm-writes

#dangerkittenclaws #cod fanfic #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #johnny soap mactavish x reader #ghost x soap x reader #ghoap x reader #call of duty x reader

[fuctacles]

Henderson's-brother-centered misadventures continue [Part IV]

[Part I] [Part II] [Part III]

Eddie screamed. Then, he screamed some more. Then, he got hit with a teddy bear, which bounced off into the floor, barely disturbing his mane of hair.

“You get a drop of spit on my pillow, and you’re washing all my sheets!”

He groaned, like a wounded animal. If animals could be wounded by their best friend’s disloyalty.

“No, dude! You can scream into your own fucking pillow! We can jam if you need, smoke or steal a beer, hell, I can even listen to you. But don’t just come here to stink my room with-” Gareth made a flapping motion in Eddie’s general direction. “Whatever this is.”

Eddie groaned louder before finally rolling onto his back.

“I fucking hate him.”

“I was hoping you’d choose jamming,” Gareth sighed. He threw his leg over his chair and leaned on the back of it. “You mean Big Bro Henderson?”

“Who else?” Eddie threw his hands up into the ceiling. His friend barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met!”

“Good thing you can’t meet yourself, then.”

Eddie glared at him, but from this angle, it gave him a double chin which severely decreased the look’s efficiency.

“You calling me annoying?”

“Yes.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘lively’. Or ‘charismatic’! Or, or, ‘non-conforming’!”

“No, I’m pretty sure ‘annoying’ is the word. Also, ‘dramatic’.”

Eddie glared again, but since his position has not changed so hasn’t its lack of impact.

“How dare you,” he seethed. Gareth completely ignored it.

“So, what did he do this time? Give you more cookies?”

“No!” He had regretted the decision to tell him about it as soon as it left his mouth, but it was out there now. Well, the price of the blackmail material was listening to it first. “He just…” Eddie trailed off, realizing what he was about to say. ‘He let me sit in his lap for the whole length of Karate Kid’ was so much harder to explain than ‘he gave me an extra cookie for my good work.’ He scrambled to find a better approach. 

“So he’s like a therapy dog,” he started, because painting the scene is important.

“What.”

Wrong approach.

“Okay, so I’ve found out he has some issues, something to do with the Starcourt fire, I think? You know nothing of it, by the way, I probably shouldn't know about it. Henderson, well, the little one, just has a big mouth.”

“And so do you. By telling me,” his friend pointed out.

“Emerson, this isn’t about you,” Eddie scolded him. “So he needs extra physical contact or something. And he might have um…” Wrong turn again. “Engaged me in it?”

“Ok, hold on,” Gareth dropped his forehead on the edge of the chair’s back and rubbed his temples. “What do you mean by that? Because I know it’s not as weird as you make it sound.”

Eddie crossed his arms, which looked extra stupid in his horizontal position. He tapped his socked foot against the mattress.

“We were watching Karate Kid, and the couch wasn’t big enough for four people. Nobody else wanted to sit in his lap and I thought it would be, you know, funny, to offer. And he just said ‘okay’, and did it!” His arms flew up into the air again.

Gareth lifted his head.

“So you sat in his lap.”

“He put me in his lap.”

“Dude, you throw your legs all over me when we watch a movie!”

“Yeah, but that’s different!”

“How?”

“Because we’re friends! We play together and shit!”

Gareth scrunched his nose because while he knew of the wisdom his friend possessed (very selective and rarely occurring in the daylight), admitting him right was painful because the cockiness he possessed was probably far greater.

“Well, maybe he’s giving you signs he wants to be friends?”

Eddie snorted.

"No way. Not possible. No."

"And why is that?" Gareth raised an eyebrow at the adamant negation.

"I'm his younger brother's friend-"

"Who's his age."

"-And we like different things. I'm a freak, I like metal and D&D!"

"So does Dustin, and they get along well."

"They are brothers!" 

"Well, I actually hate my sister, it’s not a rule."

Eddie groaned.

"I don't know," he ended up saying, just to voice his internal frustration. At least he was facing the ceiling now and not Gareth's pillow.

He hummed, considering his friend, trying to understand his problem, to even locate it.

"Okay, so you don't like that he's nice?"

"Yes."

"... You want him to be mean?"

"... Yes? Maybe?"

Gareth hit his head against the chair. 

"This whole conversation is lost on me."

When he looked up he met Eddie's eyes, a storm brewing behind them.

"I don't want to like him. But he makes it hard not to because he's so nice."

‘He treats me like I'm normal, like his equal’, went unspoken but Gareth could hear it anyway. It was time to end the questions for the day because getting any deeper into his friend's psyche could trap him like quicksand. 

"And then I go to apologize and end up talking about BDSM of all things!"

"Nope!" Gareth straightened up and hopped out of his chair. "We're going to the garage, so I can't hear you over the drums."

"What a best friend you are," Eddie grumbled but rolled off the bed regardless. He was secretly glad for an excuse to stop talking about Henderson because he started getting lost in his thoughts and feelings himself.

The next time he sees Steve, he doesn’t make it any easier. They see each other only in passing, and the older brother doesn’t give him more than a weak smile and a "Hi, Eddie. Dustin's upstairs," before leaving.

Eddie walks up to his friend's room thoroughly confused. 

"What was that about?" he asks instead of a greeting. He never greets his friends properly these days, but there are more important things like ‘hi’s and ‘hello’s.

"What was what about?"

"Steve," Eddie frowns like it explains everything. And apparently, it does.

"I think he's still upset after last time."

Eddie blinks.

"I said I was sorry!"

Dustin rolls his eyes.

"Sorry doesn't solve everything. It's like a," he snaps his fingers looking for a good comparison. "Like one of the spell components. It's not gonna work without all of them."

Guess he is casting Charm Person after all.

"Okay, but like. What are the other components?"

Dustin just shrugs.

"Hell if I know."

Eddie was burdened with the most unhelpful friends. 

"What do you do when you upset him?"

Dustin's first instinct is to protest, probably point out what a great little brother he is, but one stern look from Eddie makes him shut his mouth and reconsider his words.

"Well, if I made him upset, I'd help him with dinner, make him coffee or tea, pick a movie I know he'd like. Help out with chores, mostly. He does too much by himself." The frown on his face is deep like the mystery of Steve's adoption and Eddie mirrors it.

"This sounds all great when you're brothers, but I'm not a Henderson, how am I supposed to pull that off?

"You helped with dinner once, you could do it again," 

Eddie sighs, long and suffering.

"I guess…"

"Great! Steve has left to get groceries and is making dinner later, I'm sure he'll appreciate the help!" He grins, knowing full well he just backed his friend into a corner.

Eddie sputters when he realizes that. 

“What? Today?”

“No better time than the present.” Dustin shrugs smugly, like it was a universal law they can’t help but follow.

Eddie bristles, because, yeah, true, but…

“I'm not mentally prepared," he complains. 

"For what?" Dustin raises his brows in this annoying way of his. "Cooking?"

"You ate my mac and cheese, you understand the severity of the situation!" he yells, accusingly pointing a finger at him.

"Ate is a big word, I spat it out. And calling it mac and cheese is also a big word."

"Exactly!" Usually Eddie didn't like his abilities slandered like that but on the rare occasion when it served his purpose… 

"Steve's first casserole was also inedible," Dustin shrugs and Eddie tries to picture Mr. Perfect Housewife fucking up a dish. "You have about an hour to mentally prepare before he's back though. You can spend it finishing your readings."

Ah, right. The mundane purpose of his visit was schoolwork.

Eddie groans. He can only hope the tragic stories of holocaust victims will set him in the right mind for cooking with Steve.

They don’t. He's heavily unprepared for the confrontation when they're running down the stairs to help with the bags. 

When Steve's instructing them which things he needs and which can be put away, Dustin elbows his friend in the ribs, hard. He hisses in pain, attracting Steve's attention.

"You staying for dinner?" he asks before Eddie can say anything. 

"Uh, if I can help with it, then yeah," he says, feeling Dustin’s annoying beady eyes on himself.

Steve frowns at him.

"You don't have to do that, I’ve told you before."

"Yeah, but I'm done with my work for today," Eddie adds under the menacing gaze. "And my cooking skills need some guidance. Wayne is too old to stomach my food, he can't risk another food poisoning,” he babbles, earning himself a snort from Steve. 

“Okay, if it's that bad,” he agrees finally,  the smile Eddie has gotten used to once again on his face. "But you'll be under strict supervision."

"Of course!"

"Okay, you already got yourself a kitchen slave, so I can go finish my work," Dustin speaks up before promptly disappearing, only the sound of his rushed retreating steps left.

"Guess we're alone then," Steve comments, giving Eddie an odd look. He thought he was used to those but Steve's were always hard to decipher. Not the exact kind he usually got.

He clears his throat to dislodge the weird feeling clogging it up.

"So, what are we cooking today?"

Steve hums, looking at the ingredients before him.

"You ever cooked soup?"

"Uh, I assume you don't mean the instant kind?"

Steve makes a disgusted face, fake gags for a good measure too.

"Soup it is then. It's getting colder, and I'm sure Wayne would appreciate it," he says, eyeing Eddie questioningly, and this one he deciphers easily.

"My uncle,” he explains. "I live with him."

To his surprise, Steve smiles warmly.

"Wanna make some extra you can heat up for him?"

"That's-" Eddie's taken aback, which doesn't happen to him often. "That would be very nice, thank you."

"It’s nothing. He should know his nephew is spending his time productively."

"I'm always productive," he mutters back a complete lie. But he's been trying, okay?

"I know," Steve says, surprising him again. "Maybe I want to get on your uncle's good side too."

Eddie doesn't ask why. Doesn't want to know. Doesn't speculate. Just leaves it be, bugging him for the time being.

"I was thinking fritters too? Since they're easy to heat up later."

Eddie nods, watching him sort through the vegetables.

"Whatever you say, chef."

Steve instructs him through the soup preparations first, explaining it needs more time to cook. 

“I hope you don’t mind veggie broth. El didn’t like chicken and we kinda got used to it. Also, it’s cheaper,” he says, watching Eddie pour water over the vegetables arranged in the pot. 

He puts the pot on the burner and looks up.

"Who's El?"

"Dustin's friend. She moved to California though," Steve answers with a frown.

"That's a bit of a drive."

"Yeah," Steve scrunches his nose, then looks back into the pot, before reaching for a box of seasoning.

"Ok, now for the fun part."

Eddie has no idea how seasoning a pot of vegetable water can be fun, but he's not about to argue. He follows instructions and marvels at the amount of weird plants that could be added to food. 

"I feel like a witch," he whispers, tossing dried herbs into his cauldron.

Steve chuckles.

"You kinda look like one."

Eddie side-eyes him from his position over the pot.

"I hope that's a compliment."

"Oh, it is," Steve says in a weird voice and Eddie is too afraid to look at him. He flips through the seasoning packets instead, reading unfamiliar names.

"Okay, so this needs a couple of hours to cook, you'll know when it starts getting together from the smell. Then we'll blanche the onions and garlic, add the tomatoes, blend it all, and it's done. Now we can work on the fritters. Have you done them before?"

Eddie thinks about it for a moment.

"I saw my uncle make them."

"Potato ones?"

"Uh, yeah? Are there more options?" he asks, eyebrows drawn together.

"Apparently, yeah,” Steve rolls his eyes. “A fritter is technically anything you can grate, slap together and fry in a pancake-ish shape."

"Huh. I've learned so much today already."

Steve laughs. 

"So, what do you want in the fritters?" he asks and Eddie is ridiculously giddy about having a choice.

"Can we put meat in them?"

"Yeah, I've made them with bacon before."

Eddie's eyes sparkle.

"Potatoes with bacon and cheese?"

"Holy shit,” Steve groans. “Claudia's gonna kill us, but it sounds so good." He ponders on it for a moment. "We could add corn to pretend there are vegetables in them."

"Ketchup is a vegetable," Eddie points out and Steve bristles. 

"We're not eating them with ketchup!" he protests. "But… we could use some of the tomatoes to make a sauce."

Eddie never thought cooking could be this fun.

"Yesss!"

"You're way more excited than I thought you'd be," Steve observes, grabbing the potatoes to wash.

"I'm a growing boy, of course I'm excited about food. Besides, we're like two alchemists; mixing up stuff to make other stuff."

Steve laughs again.

"Are those the guys who tried turning metals into gold?"

"Precisely!"

He's tasked with peeling the potatoes while Steve puts bacon in the oven. He’s  never good at it, and he huffs angrily when Steve joins him and gets through three potatoes while he peels one. What's worse, he can see him watching and his fingers twitching.

"Okay, I can see you itching to correct me. Just do it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah man, unless you have some disease I could catch, I'll be fine."

Steve winces and Eddie has a lightning-fast memory of a rumour that gays spread a deadly disease. But Steve isn't gay, probably, and it's just a rumour.

Steve is still haste when he rearranges his fingers on the peeler and takes his hand away like touching him burns.

Eddie frowns. Well, that's not gonna cut it.

"Like this?" he asks, making a motion he knows is wrong.

"No, like-" Steve reaches out and hesitates. 

"I don't have cooties, come on."

Steve presses his lips together and wraps his hand around his. He has to move closer too, crowding Eddie's side. 

"Like this," he says, whispers really, pushing his hand in the right motion.

This suddenly feels more obscene than it is, but Eddie’s half tempted to push it further.

"Your hands are weirdly soft. Do you steal Robin's hand cream?" he asks instead.

Steve huffs at the backhanded compliment and retraces his soft, big hands.

"No, I have my own."

"Hmm." Eddie cocks his head, looking him up and down. "Should have guessed."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve asks with a frown, but he can tell the anger is played up. 

"Nothing," Eddie shrugs. "You just look like someone taking care of himself." 

Steve keeps looking at him like he is not sure if he should be offended or not so Eddie helps him out by rolling his eyes. 

“Don't worry, I judge you more for your music than your hygiene.”

“Of course,” Steve huffs. “You wouldn't know much about hygiene anyway, would you?” he teases with a smirk.

Eddie gasps.

“Are you implying trailer trash don't clean themselves?” he asks, eyes wide and offended. 

“What? No!” The smile vanishes instantly from his face. “Of course not!” Steve scrambles to defend himself. But then, he cocks his hip and crosses his arms.

“You know what? No. I stand by it. Your hair needs proper care, not whatever 3 in 1 you treat it with,” he says. 

“5 in 1,” Eddie corrects him smugly. 

“Five?”

“Hair, body, face, beard and ass,” he lists on his fingers, earning himself a look of disgust from Steve. 

“For that alone, you’re washing your hands again.”

Eddie knows he doesn't have to, but complies anyway. Whatever makes the big Henderson happy. And consecutively, the little Henderson. And somehow, Eddie himself.

By the time the sun starts setting, he’s gained some valuable culinary knowledge, including the fact that as a cook, he gets to taste the dishes all the time. His growing boy tummy is satiated with a stolen strip of bacon and one of the test fritters he’s munching on, when they hear the door unlock.

“I’m home!” a woman’s voice calls out. Eddie freezes.

“We’re just finishing dinner!” Steve calls back while the man next to him shrinks on himself, looking up at him and wondering why he isn’t being pushed into a closet like a secret paramour. 

“Your mom is here?!” he seethes through his teeth, eyes jumping from Steve to the door. 

“Well, yeah?” Steve raises an eyebrow. “She lives here?” 

“But why am I here?!”

Was Steve this stupid or did he not grasp the severity of the situation?

“You’re cooking? Staying for dinner? Studying? The fuck do you mean man?” he answers, more or less matching his volume.

“Mothers hate me!” Eddie reminds him helpfully, making Steve only roll his eyes with a huff.

“Claudia likes you.”

“She never saw me,” he reminds him. Because as soon as any of the suburban moms caught a whiff of his metal vest, his dark clothes and long hair, he felt disgusted eyes on his back. 

And when the Satanist drug dealer rumours reach them? Things only get worse. 

“Dude-”

“Oh, hi boys!” A tired-looking blond woman enters the kitchen. Her smile doesn’t waver despite Eddie’s presence, meaning she must have seen some shit in her life. “You didn’t tell me we’ll have a guest today.”

Steve steps in before he can put his foot in his mouth, laying his big warm hand on his shoulder. 

“Eddie finished his work early and wanted to help in the kitchen. Hope that’s alright.”

At the mere thought it wouldn’t be, Eddie’s stomach twisted. 

“Of course! The more, the merrier!” Claudia smiled, still seemingly genuine, before stepping closer and extending her hand.

“Nice to finally meet you, Eddie. I’ve heard a lot about you from my boys.”

Steve’s hand is still on him squeezing minutely to remind him to shake Claudia’s hand.

“Likewise.” He smiles to his best ability, unable to remember the last time he was friendly with someone's parents. Except Gareth's, maybe.

“What did boys make?” she asks, sniffing the air and trying to peek over his shoulder.

“Tomato soup, like you asked, and some fritters.”

“With veggies, I hope?” She squints at her oldest (newest?) son.

“There’s corn in them, and we made a tomato sauce.” He smiled brightly and Eddie could tell he was happy to play the good kid role. 

“Good. I’m gonna change and get back to you,” she says before disappearing upstairs, probably to harass the younger Henderson now. 

“Why was she so nice?” Eddie muses, half to Steve, half to himself, half to the universe in general. Wait, that's three halves. Well, he didn’t fail school because of his great math skills.

“She's always nice.” Steve steps away to work on the next batch of fritters.

“Not to me! Mothers hate me! I bet she’s just pretending but as soon as I disappear, you're gonna hear all about it!”

“Hey!” Steve turns back towards him, frowning. And uh-oh, he upset him again. On his reverse-upset mission. “Claudia’s not some uptight bitch like that. She likes all our friends and you're not an exception. Just because you dress differently isn’t gonna ban you from the house or get us in trouble.” He knocks him on the head for good measure. “You’re safe here.”

“Okay,” Eddie simply says, taken aback. Being welcomed somewhere was a feeling he still had to process.

“We're safe here,” was a soft addition he almost missed over his own loud thoughts but made him even more curious about Steve himself. 

User tags: @i-have-three-feelings @mblogs @awkwardgravity1 @imacowboy3 @just-a-tiny-void @clumsiluni @shotgunhallelujah @halfadoginatank @carlprocastinator1000 @irregular-child

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #mine #ff #st #stranger things 4 #steddie fanfiction #steve henderson #the hendersons

[a-soft-hornytiny]

Position of power.

Summary: You find out that your childhood friend is now a CEO and demand an explanation.  

Word count: 3.1k+

Genre: Smut

Pairing: CEO!Jongho x female!reader

Warnings: unprotected sex, half clothed sex, teasing, penetration, dirty talk, office sex, fingering (female receiving) (let me know if i missed something) be careful while reading. 

Notes: this got longer than it was supposed to be and im not complaining. Istg Jongho recently has a grip on me. And tbh ive had this idea ever since I saw him in that one suit. Ill show you what i mean. Like jesus. Anyway this is pretty fluffy at first but beware. 

Taglist: after the cut (let me know if you wanna be added)

---------------------------------------

“Wait Choi Jongho?” You nodded, confused by the excitement in your friend's voice. You had shown her a picture of you in highschool but she only had eyes for the boy that was standing next to you on said picture, Jongho, your best friend since first grade that you sadly lost contact with after school. 

“THE Choi Jongho??” Your friend was squirming in her seat. You nodded again. Not really understanding what she was pointing at. “Omg Y/n that's such a big deal like how is he in person, is he as strict as he seems?” Your confusion only grew. 

“I haven’t seen him for years. He went abroad after school and we rarely ever text each other.” You explained and your friend's excitement immediately died off. “But don’t you want to know what it’s like?” What what’s like? You didn’t even need to ask the confusion was written all over your face.

“Being rich!” You tilted your head. Jongho’s family was well off but you wouldn’t go as far as calling him rich. And that’s when you saw something change in your friend's face. They realized something. While you were still trying to grasp what was happening, they shoved their phone under your nose. 

Perpexled you started to read. Choi Jongho, 23, CEO. Choi’s company, Choi Internationals, set a milestone in economic history as it became one of the most profitable corporations in its field only 4 months after it was brought to life.

You stopped and started reading again. No that can’t be.

“You didn’t know?” You looked up from their phone and shook your head slowly. How on earth did you not know about this? How could that information possibly go over your head? I need to call him you thought immediately before shaking your head again.

You went through your purse to look for your phone. When was the last time we talked? You asked yourself while unlocking your phone and entering your chat. About 4 months ago. 4 months ago you had checked up on each other the last time. That was far after the launch of his company. And he didn’t think that was important enough to tell you?

You started raging. You had told him everything. How you lost your job, how your ex broke up with you, how your parents moved to the countryside, everything. And he didn’t even bother to tell you he successfully launched a company and was making millions? Without thinking about it you sent him a passive-aggressive text.

When did you plan to tell me that you’re a money-shitting ceo?

Ok maybe you should have thought about that one.

Jongho was sitting in the back of his car when he saw your message. He let out a big sigh causing his secretary to send him a worried look. One part of him had wished you would never find out but he was also surprised that you didn’t already know. It was not like it was possible to keep his identity a secret. 

“What’s wrong Mr.Choi?” His secretary asked, still keeping his eyes on the road. Jongho sighed again. “Nothing too big. Just a change of plans for today.” He said while typing his response.

Where are you right now?

He didn’t expect an immediate answer but his phone pinged shortly after.

At Sannie’s Dream, why?

Sannie's Dream was the café you two used to go to during highschool days. Jongho couldn’t help but smile. You hadn’t changed a bit. 

Stay there.

He answered before informing his secretary about the new plan. The café was about 20 minutes away from where he was right now. He knew that you still lived in the suburb you two used to go to school in, he on the other hand had moved to the city. 

What does he mean by “Stay there”? You shook your head while putting your phone down. You had completely forgotten that you weren’t alone. 

“I’m so sorry you completely caught me off guard with that.” You told your friend while supporting your head with your hands.

“No worries but what now? What just happened?” They asked the right questions. What did just happen? “I have no idea.” You answered as you turned around to order another coffee. 

You got back to chatting but about 20 minutes later the door to the café opened and a well-dressed man entered. 

“Jongho?!” You exclaimed, completely shocked, causing the café to go quiet. He came over to your table and shushed you instantly. “We don’t want all that attention.” He whispered as the people around you began to talk again. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You whisper screamed, ignoring that your friend probably had a heart attack right now. “We need to talk, do you mind?” He asked, pointing at the door behind him. And before you even knew it he had paid for your coffee, said goodbye to your friend and had led you outside. 

"Jongho, stop!" You said while he opened the door to his car. You didn’t know a thing about cars but this one was expensive. “Can you please just explain what you’re doing?” You asked a bit out of breath. He had never been a man of many words, he was the type to prefer actions over words. But you needed him to tell you what was going on.

“I’ll explain it to you but can you get into the car first? I don’t want people to think that I’m kidnapping you.” He responded calmly. Well it kind of feels like I’m being kidnapped you thought before sitting down. Jongho closed the door and went to the other side to get in. 

After he sat down and both of you had put on the seat belt he told the driver to get them to the headquarters. The headquarters? What was he trying to do? “Mister Jung? This is Y/n. Y/n, this is my loyal secretary Mister Jung.” He introduced you and bowed at each other awkwardly. After the car started driving, Jongho started to explain. 

“Listen Y/n I never wanted to hide anything from you. I’m honestly a bit surprised that you only found out now. And I didn’t know you would be so angry.” He whispered the last part to himself. You weren’t ‘so angry’. Your disappointment from earlier had mostly disappeared.

“I’m not angry with you, just a bit disappointed that you didn’t tell me something so important. That’s a huge milestone. But don’t you think it's a bit extreme to kidnap me from my friend just to apologize?” You asked, a small smile on your face. He had always been a bit impulsive.

“Really? I mean..” he stopped, taking a second to organize his thoughts. “If I’m honest I just saw the opportunity and took it. I was so glad that you were still treating me like before and not turning into a money hungry demon, that I was too afraid to tell you. But in reality I have been wanting to meet up with you for a while now.”

You were surprised. On one side because of his sudden confession, on the other because of his rosy cheeks. He was embarrassed.

“That’s really.. sweet.” You said, still a bit taken aback. 

“I thought I could show you my workplace?” He asked incredibly unsure. What did your friend say about him earlier? Strict? Oh if they could see him right now. 

“Are you asking for a date?” You answered, obviously joking. But he nodded. And now you were the one whose face was heating up. He was looking out of the car window, trying to avoid eye contact, when scanned him with your eyes. He was handsome. He always had been, but this suit… you shook your head. Those thoughts were not to be thought. 

But he had been thinking the same. When he walked you to his car, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander. You were wearing a knee long mint green summer dress with a low back and golden jewelry. You looked stunning. But even if it was just for one second, he had wondered what you were wearing underneath it. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence you decided to break the ice. "So.. how have you been?” You asked, still a bit shy. But he immediately answered, leading to a really relaxed conversation. You talked about everything and anything. From your family, to your work, to what you had for breakfast. God you had missed him. 

When the car finally stopped, he got out first to open the door. What a gentleman. 

“And this is where our Human Resources Management sits.” He explained as you reached the end of his little company tour. Your mouth was still open. More than ten levels, more than a hundred people, all under his control. The building was really modern, held in a black and white aesthetic with an occasional drop of colour. And it was your favourite colour. But that had to be a coincidence. 

“Getting to the best part of the whole building now- my office.” He led you into this huge room. One side of it was completely covered in windows. The other consisted of dark wood. On the window side was his desk, full of paperwork, and in the middle of the room was a big table with about eight chairs. On the darker side of the room was a couch and two armchairs in the same colour. 

You walked towards his desk completely overwhelmed by the sight of the city under your feet. 

Jongho watched you explore his office in awe as he closed the door behind him. And locked it. He had always liked you more than he should but he thought he wasn’t good enough. You were his biggest inspiration to success. He’d be good enough if he was successful. A big smile appeared on his face as you let out a gasp. You had discovered his personal little library. 

When was the time to make a move if not now?

You were taking a look at his books when you heard footsteps behind you. Without any warning you felt his hands on your waist and his warm breath against your ear. 

“You’re so cute when you’re excited.” He chuckled. You froze. He was so close. Goosebumps formed all over your body as you realized what position you were in. 

“Jongho what are you doing?” You couldn’t even talk properly, the words escaping your mouth were barely a whisper. Small electric shocks shot through your body as his hands slightly brushed against your hips. If you wanted to you could’ve easily stopped him. But the high school girl inside of you was excitedly jumping up and down. 

“Something I should’ve done a lot earlier..” he whispered against your neck before placing soft kisses on your shoulder. Shivers ran down your spine. What do I do? You thought, trying to keep your mouth shut. You were way too embarrassed to let out whatever sound was waiting on your tongue. 

You had always liked him. Others had always thought you were together but you two were absolutely oblivious to each other’s feelings. And now about five years after graduation, it was finally happening. 

And even if it didn’t show, Jongho was nervous. He was basically waiting for you to turn around and slap him. But you didn’t. You stood there, enjoying his lips on your skin. And that was something he could see by your uneven breath and reaction to his hands. He couldn’t believe it at first but you wanted this. 

“Do you want me to stop?” He murmured, lips still caressing your shoulder. He needed your full consent before going further. Because if you didn’t say no now, he wasn’t sure if he could hold himself back. 

You held your breath. No. Please don’t stop. You knew that there was no going back once you said that. But it was the truth. You wanted him. 

“Please don’t stop.” You nearly moaned as his lips brushed a sensitive spot. You could feel his firm body behind you and gosh that suit. Every time he turned around to continue his tour earlier you had stared so much that you were worried the fabric would dissolve under your gaze. 

“I always thought you were gorgeous but this dress..” he groaned as his hands caressed your thighs, causing the dress to ride up. “This dress makes me go insane.”

You couldn’t hold back a quiet moan as you imagined him fucking you right then and there. And as if he had read your mind, he turned you around to look at him. His eyes were dark and full of desire as he scanned every single part of your face. 

“You know.. your suit isn’t much better.” You chuckled before pressing your lips onto his. You caught him off guard for a second before he intensified the kiss and slowly guided you to his desk. Before you could protest, he had wiped most of his things off his desk and sat you down on it. Your dress was merely covering your panties anymore as you felt one of his hands making its way up your thigh. 

“But Jongho..” you whispered as his fingertips brushed against the outside of your underwear. “What about the windows?” The desk was only about two meters away from the window front so if anyone was on the opposite side, they could definitely see you. 

“Oh don’t worry darling, they’re reflected.” He smirked as he pulled you in for another kiss. You were surprised by the pet name but you liked it. He made it sound so… sexy. And just as you had forgotten about the position of his fingers, he pushed your panties aside and gently started caressing your heat. You let out a loud but embarrassed moan when you heard the squelching sound his fingers were making. 

“So wet already~” He growled into your ear. “Makes me wonder how long you’ve wanted this.” He chuckled before carefully pushing one finger inside your wetness. You hid your burning face on his shoulder.

“Shut up.” You whined, making him smirk. “What did you say?” He teased you while slowly inserting a second finger. “Shut up and fuck me already.” You whined again.  

“So that’s what you want huh?” He let his fingers slip out of you and spread the wetness on your clit before starting to massage it gently. You couldn’t hold back your moans anymore as your whole body started to shake. Why was he so good at this?

“Nah nah we don’t want others to hear you, do we?” He jokingly said before kissing you again. You hadn’t even realized he had stopped massaging your clit until you heard the sound of his belt opening. You immediately opened your eyes and separated from him just to watch him open his pants. 

The growing bulge underneath had gotten painfully obvious and Jongho let out a deep breath when he finally freed his dick. Your eyes were glued onto his glistening tip as he stroked himself a few times, obviously enjoying your drooling stares. It was big but more importantly, it was girthy. 

“So what was that? You want me to ‘fuck you already’?” He asked with a teasing undertone. You nodded, still not able to stop staring. “Your wish is my command.” He groaned as he placed himself at your entrance. 

“Are you ready?” He asked, looking into your eyes with a softness that was completely unexpected. You couldn’t help but give him a warm smile. What a gentleman you thought before answering.

“Yes Jongho, I’m ready.” You let out a slight chuckle before you moved your hips forward, pushing his throbbing dick into your warmth. 

You both let out a satisfied moan as soon as his length completely disappeared inside of you. It felt incredible. Felt like it was meant to be. Jongho couldn’t even think straight when he started moving his hips. He was holding you in his arms while your hands were clawing into his back. 

“God Y/n you feel so good.” He groaned breathlessly as his cock thrusted into you once again. You were seeing stars, you had never felt so much pleasure. Your legs were wrapped around him and he desk was only there to support your body a bit, nothing more, as Jongho was nearly carrying you. 

With every thrust, the tip of his dick hit the perfect spot. You had buried your mouth in his clothes but your pathetic moans were still echoing through the room. 

“Faster.. please..” you whined against him and he immediately started picking up speed. The way your walls clenched around his length made both of you go crazy. His movements were steady which made you aware of his extreme strength and his even breath against your neck made your mind go blank. 

“Make me yours, Jongho.” You moaned. “Make me cum.”

As if he had accepted a challenge, he gently sat you back on his desk to have a free hand. While he was still thrusting into you, his hand started caressing your clit in the same rhythm and you immediately threw your head back. Waves of pleasure washed over you as you laid back. The cold wood on your back made you shiver.

“You’re so beautiful.” Jongho was panting as his thrusts became sloppier. But you couldn’t even properly hear him because you were so immersed in the feeling he was giving you. Your whole body was tense as you felt your orgasm coming. 

“Jongho I-“ you whined, not able to finish your sentence . “I’m c-co-“ 

Your orgasm washed over you with an intensity you never felt before. Your whole body was shaking uncontrollably and your pussy started clenching around his dick. You couldn’t breathe as Jongho continued to thrust into you. 

He couldn’t believe his eyes when you came on his dick. To his eyes you looked ethereal. But the way you clenched around him pushed him close. He was about to cum right there. 

He wanted to pull out but you stopped him. You could hear a slight protest before he let out the most beautiful lewd moan you ever heard and painted your inside white. You could feel his cum spurt out of his tip, filling you up to the brim. Shortly after, he collapsed on top of you. You took deep breaths while gently stroking his hair.

You giggled. “If I had known this would happen I would have texted you earlier.”

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Tags: @jonghoisbabie @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers-writes @serialee @crimsonbubble @cometoceantrenches @em--ilysm @deja-vux @kawaiiloli00 @ddeonghwva @aaaaajonghooooo @sansbun @cookies-n-joong @plonys @hijirikaww @nari-nim @yunkiwii @mingi-ivity @racheloveyunho @seongsangsgf @jhmylove @lizsvcks @yunhobabygurl @leoninadecorazones @kerra-that-one-random-fangirl @star1117-archives

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez story #ateez fanfiction #ateez smut #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #kpop smut #jongho x reader #jongho smut #choi jongho #jongho #female!reader #ceo!jongho

[sentoooo]

[anon: could you do a nsfw alphabet for raiden??!!] i am also so sad about the lack of raiden stuff in general, like im mk1 he's just the sweetest!?!?! like he's so bbg. and in like every other game he's so fuckin hot, dont sleep on him cmoooon. i also apologize for this taking so long to post, ive been getting so distracted lately its kinda hard to focus fully on. anything. BUT IM MAKING UP FOR IT I SWEAR!!!!

cw: amab, nsfw, pretty vanilla tbh, proofread. MINORS DNI

ʀᴀɪᴅᴇɴ || ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Raiden's aftercare routine is second to Tomas'. He loves you, and he refuses to skip aftercare. Doesn't matter how he is, or how tired you are. He's going to run a bath with all sorts of dried herbs and some Himalayan salt, he'll even hop in if you so wish. From there, he'll be hands on, or hands off. Whichever one you like. If you want some space, he's more than happy to give you some. He'll change the sheets, and get you some clean clothes. He'll also make a full on meal for you. But if you'd like him to stay near, he'll sit at the edge of the bath and just talk with you. About the sex, about you, about him, about anything, really. And after all that, he'll carry you to bed,- he refuses to let you walk- and lay down with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite also has to be his hands. He's very proud of his training, especially after becoming Earthrealm's champion. They're strong, and he also loves how they look on your body. He's gentle, always. He's also particularly proud of how soft they are, especially since he was a farmer and now fighting for Earthrealm's protection.

On you, his favorite body part is your chest. He likes how it displays your strength. Not to mention, he's simply drawn to your chest during intimacy. As much as he's Earthrealm's protector, he likes know that you can defend yourself and that you have your own strengths as well. He also enjoys your back, how defined it as, and the little noises you make when he runs his fingers down your spine.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Raiden prefers to cum outside, specifically on your lower back. He simply likes how it looks. He refuses to cum inside, he feels like it's almost undignified. Don't try to convince him to.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to be ridden by you until he sees stars. He's so sure you wouldn't mind it, but you are his first and he's rather apprehensive about sharing. It's the first thing he thinks of when he masturbates even, watching your body grind against him, in a desperate search of pleasure.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You are his first. He had saved his body for someone he had felt comfortable and a real connection with. He enjoys learning about sex with you, especially when you take the lead. Of course, he gains more experience the more you two fuck, and he gets quite good at it. His focus is all on your pleasure, and always will be.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

With his aforementioned secret, he loves cowboy. As much as he loves cumming on your back, he needs eye contact. It is very important to him. He likes to know he's treating you well, watching your face twist in pleasure. It also makes it easy to tell how well he's doing, since he makes sex all about you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Raiden is serious. Granted, he's shy, but he's fully serious about sex. It is something he had saved himself for, and he prefers if you are serious about it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's got a little body hair everywhere. Some arm hair, some chest hair, a delicious happy trail, and some pubic hair. He keeps himself trimmed, however.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Raiden is by far the most romantic. Like I said, he focuses on you during sex, and your pleasure. He does everything to keep the moment intimate, and he makes sure you feel beyond loved. He cherishes you, and as such, he makes you feel like the only boy in the world. You're his one and only love, you're his. He's going to make sure you know how much he loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He prefers not to masturbate when he has you. Even if you two haven't been able to enjoy each other for a while. Now, if he's absolutely yearning for you and you aren't available, he'll jack off then.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

His only kink is praise, really. He loves seeing your reaction when he calls you a 'good boy', listening to your soft moans as he throws all sorts of sweet words & praises your way. He also responds quite fondly to being praised, he likes to know how he's doing. Whenever you praise him, you can always feel a shiver of electricity run from his body to yours.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He always prefers his room. It's comfortable, private, and quiet. He's hesitant with sex, so he enjoys the environment of his own place. It's almost a sanctuary for both of you. He rests easy knowing no one is peering or listening in.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Initiative. Raiden is rather timid, so knowing your yearning and knowing you are okay with taking the initiative really sets the mood and gets him going. He particularly enjoys it when you trace his arms or his hands, and give him that sly smile.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything rough, he hates the thought of harming you, even for your pleasure. He cannot, physically, mentally, or emotionally. If you ask, it is an immediate no. He wants to make you feel good, not make your hurt.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He actually prefers receiving, he just finds it hard to ask. But he'll go down on you if you ask. Anything for you. He's actually really good at giving head, even more so as he continues to learn about all your body's tells and quirks. But if you go down on him, he'll be the loudest, most appreciative man.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Raiden's default is slow & sensual, and he'll only pick up the pace slightly. He takes his time with you, he likes the mood to be right and proper. Doesn't mean he can't make the time worth it though, he makes you cum like no other. As said beforehand, he catches on quickly to your body language. He knows every single sensitive spot on your body, where to touch to make you moan just right. He loves having you give in to his touch and lay against him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

It doesn't matter how long you two have been apart, he refuses to do quickies. He wants the moment to be perfect, to be right. He wants you to feel his love, and he cannot find a proper way to appreciate your body with quickies.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

There is only one thing he wont mind trying, and that's using his powers. He's thought about it, more than once. But he is afraid of hurting you. Of course, he'd only use them on a smaller scale, shocking you just a little here and there. But anything else, he really can't do. If you ask him about using his powers in the bedroom, prepare for a full conversation about it. It is only until he has proper consent that he will try it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

His stamina only increases as he spends more time with you. But he can only last for about 3 rounds, however, he puts his all into every. single. round.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Raiden doesn't see the appeal, to be honest. Perhaps if you ask nicely, he'll use any sort of stimulation toy on you. But why do that when he can use his powers? Creativity is a naughty thing, my friend.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can't bring himself to tease you, not now, not ever. He hates it when you beg, actually. His whole goal is to satisfy you, and if he has you begging, then that means he's not doing his job right.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Raiden is loud. He's sensitive, he's comfortable, and you just make him feel so damn good. Sometimes it's hard for him to form words properly, that all you can hear is the very start of his praises melting into sweet, sweet moans and sounds of appreciation.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He really enjoys coming up with little names for you. And he always loves your reaction bed when he uses them. It's always something sweet, 'My light' is the most common one he'll use. Regrettably, he picked up 'Sweetheart' from Johnny, but the way he says it sounds so perfect. He does prefer using your name, especially during sex, because it just feels intimate.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Raiden's more of a shower, and he's around the average size. He's 5.7" in length when hard, and 1.7" across. He leans slightly towards the left & is slightly veiny.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive depends on you, really. He'll fuck you whenever you wish, as long as time permits it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Raiden's mind is an active one, so it takes him a while to fall asleep after you do. He isn't worried about his performance, no. He's just got a lot on his mind, and sometimes your naked body lingers in it for a bit too long.

#⁺◟sentooo #mk1 x reader #mk x reader #mortal kombat 1 x reader #mortal kombat x reader #mk1 x male reader #mortal kombat 1 x male reader #mortal kombat x male reader #raiden x reader #raiden x male reader

[i-heart-hxh]

hi! so ive been so confused/unsure abt why killua's reaction to palm saying "you are the one gon needs most" looked like he was devastated. ive thought of different reasons on why he had that reaction:

1) he got scared/devastated/stressed at the fact that he was the only one who could really help gon at that moment, but he was so sure he was useless cuz he couldn't even snap gon back to his own senses. so its like "if i—the closest help there is to gon—can't help him, then who/what else can?" and so the overwhelming thoughts of gon possibly dying haunts him.

2) he couldn't believe that he's the one gon really needs the most after assuming that palm probably placed higher than him already, and was fully convinced gon cares more about palm more than him. but then palm says she cant even compare to killua, which gave him that reaction .... i guess its like relief but portrayed in a painful way cuz of his self worth issues.

3) he got pressured by the thought of being the one gon will always rely on the most. anything bad that happens to gon will always depend on what killua would do abt it. and killua always worries and sacrifices too much when it comes to gon, so pressure just added up.

aaaand this is making my brain all scrambled (TT) i wanted to ask if u have a clearer answer for this..? i trust ur judgement a lot (｡-人-｡)

Hello! Aw, I appreciate that you trust my judgment, that's sweet of you to say. ❤️ I'll do my best to explain my take on Killua's expression in this scene!

So, I think his reaction of shock and looking devastated is primarily from the first set of reasons you brought up. He already tried to step in and stop Gon and got pushed away and told that the situation with Kite is none of his business essentially. Being rejected like that and being unable to change Gon's course of action (even though that's the role Gon entrusted him with) broke his heart, and made him feel like he can't change Gon's impending tragic outcome.

Bisky also told him this earlier in the arc:

While we know his tendency to flee against a strong enemy is caused (at least in a large part) by the needle, which he's already removed at this point in the series, Bisky's words to him and the gravity of the current situation still weigh heavily on him. In this scene, he's realizing that Gon's fate rests on him--and he doesn't know what to do to save Gon at this point. There's no one else he can ask or rely on any more to save Gon, it all hinges on him. What a heavy burden that is to be entrusted with, especially with how deeply he loves Gon--to a degree where he has actively decided and even stated out loud that he'll die with him if it comes down to that.

That's why he's not happy or relieved (at least not visibly) to hear this, as much as being Gon's most important person is what he wants--to hear this at this point is a tremendously scary thing. He just broke down sobbing on the ground because he feels so helpless to do anything for Gon. This is what he needed to hear, and it's true as well, but it puts him a position of great responsibility towards someone he loves more than anything. He was previously directly told by someone he respects that he'll eventually leave Gon to die, which just adds extra fuel to the situation.

I do think both of your other ideas are things that contribute to Killua's state to a degree, but they're not the primary driving force of his reaction in this scene specifically. The situation with Palm and Gon did certainly destabilize his sense of his role in Gon's life (because he desperately wants to be Gon's most important person and, it's heavily hinted, his romantic partner) and that's why he's so fixated on whether Gon wants him at his side as his friend or his teammate. Hearing this from Palm is deeply meaningful for Killua--he even thanks her for it later (he doesn't specify what it's for, but it's obvious)--but again the timing is what makes it difficult for Killua to hear.

On your third point, I do think Killua also realizes as a result of what happens in Chimera Ant Arc that the dynamic between him and Gon can't continue as it has, hence the separation, but in this scene the situation is too urgent for him to be thinking deeply about future situations beyond the life-or-death one he and Gon are currently in. The pressure on him is absolutely a factor, though.

I hope that helps clarify this important scene for you!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #gon #killua #palm #killugon #gonkillu #asks #anonymous #my posts #meta #I'm glad to be back writing meta after a very busy couple of weeks!!

[starker-raving-mads]

For You: Part VII

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX

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To say that the next week was hectic was to put it lightly. Peter didn't surface from the lab for anything - Not Aunt May (and her terrible lasagna that Peter loved so dearly), not Ned and MJ, not even for Bucky, who had taken to texting Peter fairly regularly with things like lunch requests or questions about pop culture.

(The man was, hilariously, Steve's opposite in that regard. He still didn't remember much of his time on ice, but he reveled in all of modern technology instead of simply trying to deal with it, which was Steve's approach. He and Peter had partaken in more than one text conversation that ended after 2 hours with, 'Steve's taking my phone because he says I'm becoming a zombie staring at the screen. I think he's just jealous because he doesn't understand modern…anything, really. I think he might be a himbo. Am I using that word right?')

No, Peter instead spent that time with Tony, having the longest, craziest, most wonderful lab binge of his life. His sleep schedule was royally messed up because of it, taking to just falling asleep at his desk or on the couch instead of going back up to the penthouse. He only got a few hours at a time like that anyway and it just didn't seem worth it to put an official pause on their work.

What was their work? Integrating Tony into everything.

He was already fully incorporated into the lab, that was easy enough after the confirmation of the program's success. But they made small tweaks to improve his core functioning systems, defined a few things, and Tony went from almost being Tony Stark to really being Tony Stark. The first day or two, the man had stilled unnaturally in a way that Tony just never had. He'd also not remember certain things, important things, until reminded of them.

"I have a daughter?" he'd asked, overwhelmed awe spread across his face. "I have a daughter!" He looked at Peter then, that same unfamiliar softness in his eyes. "I made you her godfather! Isn't Morgan just amazing?"

"Sorry, Mr. Stark," Peter grimaced at the perplexity on the other man's face. "Since Ms. Potts has been kind of…upset about the whole SI thing, I haven't been allowed to see her." And he'd tried, he really had. He wanted to know the little girl that was half Tony, who was his family in all but blood. But Pepper had responded to every request with a resounding 'no' and she was Morgan's mom, so she got the final say.

Tony had a look of determination on his face at that. "Yeah, we'll see about that."

But all those little issues had been flushed out in the first few days, and now they were working on incorporating his program into everything. Peter already wired him into the Spider-Man suit, tapped him into the tower's network architecture, and into the smart glasses the man had pointed out to him that were, apparently, never finished in the face of the Peter Project.

EDITH, he had called it, but based on all the features she had, Peter was mostly positive it was better that project was never finished. Peter kept the glasses, though, body having an all over shiver the first time he heard Mr. Stark's voice directly in his ear.

Now, they were putting the finishing touches on getting Tony wired into the penthouse, which had its own individual network infrastructure and security protocols. Having Friday helped with a lot of the grunt work, but there were some fine tuning things that Peter had to do to wrap it up.

"There!" he said, leaning back on his haunches as he slid the discreet panel back over the hidden network rack in the living room (carefully hidden behind tall, leafy vegetation he was vaguely sure was called a monster plant). "Okay, Fri-baby, fire it up, let him in."

"Are you sure, Mom?" Friday said, voice warm with humor. "Shouldn't guests knock first?"

"Your father is not a guest, dear," he joked back with her, loving the rapid way she grew with him. He was weirdly proud of her, seeing all these changes in behavior and temperament.

"If you say so."

And then - Tony.

Adding the holographic projection system was another touch Peter had to manually install, like with a drill and everything. It was absolutely worth the time spent crawling around on the ceiling when the man bloomed to life in front of him, craning his neck around to check out the apartment.

"Man, I forgot how bland this place was," he said, eyeing the all-white leather couch and black slate flooring of the sunken living room.

"Bland?" Peter asked, aghast. "This place is great!"

Tony gave him a look. "Kid, I know your taste runs to the science pun t-shirt side of the spectrum, but all black and white isn't exactly that much of a step up from beige."

Peter flushed. "I mean, it's simple but it's nice! And why did you even pick it if you didn't like it?"

"Oh," the older man responded, casually walking around the space. "I didn't. Hired some expensive decorator and told them to go crazy with it." He shrugged. "The lab was always my space, so I didn't really give a damn went on up here as much. Pep was the one to put the art and stuff up - which I see she took."

"Yeah, it was gone by the time I got up here, but not much else thankfully. And I guess that makes sense. The lab just…feels like you, Mr. Stark."

Tony gave him another look. "Kid, you've gotta start calling me Tony. It's cute when you say it, but since I'm essentially a ghost, I think we're past the point of titles."

"I mean," Peter said, struggling not to let all the blood in his body rush to his face at how enflamed he felt at Mr. Stark calling him cute. "If I'm only cute when I say it, I guess I have to keep it up, right, Mr. Stark?" He was falling far short of the playful retort he was going for, mostly because there was too much sincerity in the words.

"Pete, you're cute with or without the 'Mr. Stark' schtick," Tony chuckled casually, as though he wasn't uprooting Peter's entire existence right now.

"O-oh, okay." This was one of those things that made Tony differ from Mr. Stark and Peter had to say, he appreciated it. The openness and honesty, the lack of barrier he could always feel was there before. He wondered how much of it was anxiety and part of the physical pretense of being Tony Stark that made him that way, that he lacked now. Whatever it was, Peter liked it. "So, Tony."

"That's my name, kid," he winked, "don't wear it out."

Peter rolled his eyes. This was the Tony he was used to.

"But seriously," Tony continued, picking their previous conversation back up. "You should redo this place, liven it up a little! Some paint, new furniture, yada yada," he waved a hand around the room. "I've seen your bedroom, not to mention the apartment you shared with May - eclectic is in, and now you've got all the money in the world to make your space your own."

"I hadn't really thought about it like that," Peter said, walking over to where Tony's glowing blue form was. "It just - it feels so weird to change things in your house, you know?"

"Peter, and I say this sincerely," Tony said and yes his tone was playful but sincere nonetheless. "I never cared about how this place looked, it was a matter of convenience. It was a bed and a kitchen and a respectable place to have people over but that's about it. And it's your house now."

Peter furrowed his brow. "But the media center and the blankets and pillows - ?"

"Yeaaaaah," the man dragged out and turned to look over at the TV set up in question. "I may or may not have bought that after you mentioned wanting to binge Star Wars with me when you'd realized I hadn't seen all of them." He shrugged but the casual gesture was ruined by the side-eyed sincerity.

"You bought," Peter started, "an entire TV set up, surround sound, and game console just to watch TV with me?"

"Sure," the man shrugged again and Peter knew for a fact that his whole casual-whatever he was doing was put upon, but he didn't know how to call it out - or if he even wanted to.

What do you say when someone spends a few thousand grand on something because you mentioned it offhand in one conversation?

"Listen, kid," Tony sighed, looking over at him finally. "I told you I was too much and this is what I meant. I do - too much. Extravagant gifts and shit like," he waved his hand at the media center wall, "whole media center set ups and custom blankets without asking." He shrugged, and it was probably the first time Peter had ever seen the man truly awkward, for all that he fidgeted normally. "People've been telling me that my whole life but I just can't ever seem to break the habit." He sounded truly apologetic and that was the moment that Peter snapped.

"Stop," he said, voice firm, face rigid. Tony looked at him, chagrined, like a kid being told off after putting his hand in the cookie jar. "There is nothing wrong with you," Peter continued and watched as the man's glowing blue face snapped up at him in surprise. "Your love language is just gift giving, is all," he explained. "You show people you care by giving them things and I bet it's always things like this," he waved toward the media center. "Things they've mentioned or things you know they'll need or care about. Right?" Tony nodded, eyes wide behind his square framed glasses. "Then, there you go," he said, running out of the confident steam he'd been using for his little mini-rant. "You just want to give people you care about things to make their lives better or things they want or way to enjoy themselves better. There's nothing wrong with that. Sure, it can feel like a little much sometimes due to the expense of such things but at the same time - it's your money, you can afford it, so why not?"

The look on Tony's face clearly said that no one had spelled it out like that before and that he wasn't totally sure if he believed Peter.

Peter smiled, a little sadly. "Tony, if I had thought you were giving me things to make me in debt to you or buy my loyalty or something, I'd have turned them down. But it's obvious you don't, and why would I try and hurt you by being a dick about it?"

Tony cleared his throat. "I gotta say, kid, you're like the first person to not give a damn about it. It's always either people after my money, or people who think I'm trying to buy them with it. It's…refreshing."

"I mean," Peter said while he walked over to the large, squishy chaise side of the couch he liked. "It's not like I don't think about it? It's just - like I didn't grow up with a lot of money, right? And neither did my friends. And so when Ned or someone went out of their way to get me something it really meant a lot. And while you have the ability to probably buy a small country - " Tony laughed, " - that doesn't negate the fact that you put thought and energy into it just like anyone else would."

Tony sat down on the other side of the couch from him, their usual seats, and the normalcy of the action soothed Peter. He was starting to look past the faint blue glow of the other man and just see Tony.

"Thanks, kid," Tony said, looking over at him. "I mean that."

"I know you do," Peter smiled softly. He curled in on himself, snuggling into the cushions, wishing he had his movie blanket.

Tony's mind seemed to go the same direction. "Where's that blanket of yours?" he asked, craning his neck to look at the space where the basket of blankets and spare pillows for the living room used to be.

Peter sighed. "It was one of the things Ms. Potts took," he shrugged. "I haven't gotten around to replacing it yet."

The older man frowned. "You should have Friday do it," he finally said. "I didn't buy it, I crafted it out of the same textile I used to make Steve's stuff with." At Peter's look, he explained, "Capcicle has a similar texture issue that you do, senses cranked up a little under yours. Your first Spider-Man suit was made out of an off-shoot of the formula, but the base is perfect for blankets and things." He furrowed his brow, looking away, thinking. "Pepper knew that," he muttered to himself. "Fri? Get on that, will you?"

"You got it, Boss."

"Maybe she had them grab it by accident when she sent people up to get the artwork and stuff?" Peter pondered.

"Yeah, maybe," Tony agreed though he didn't sound convinced. "How about," he said instead of whatever seemed to be on his mind, "you go grab a blanket from somewhere and we watch something. You wouldn't believe how fast my brain runs now," he chuckled. "And I don't really sleep anymore, so being online and zoning out a little would be nice."

Peter smiled and agreed, stopping at the kitchen to pop a bag of microwave popcorn in before heading down the hallway. He paused by his room first before ultimately going to Tony's and grabbing the bundled up comforter. It was just so much softer than the one in the guest room, and it still faintly smelled like the other man. That wasn't too weird right?

Pushing back the anxiety in him that screamed, 'uh yeah it's weird he's going to call you out on it,' Peter walked back out to the living room and dumped it onto the couch. He tried to be casual about it, twisting on his heel to grab the popcorn and pour it into a bowl before coming back to the living room and snuggling down into the blanket.

He tried not to pay attention to the long, long look Tony gave him when the teen asked, "Anything you're in the mood for?"

After a moment, the older man said, "Fuck it, let's watch Star Wars again."

#for you fic #starker #ironspider #peter parker x tony stark #tony stark x peter parker #peter parker #tony stark #iron man #peter x tony #spiderman

[t4transsexual]

have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022

#shoutout to my girlfriend for putting up with whats left of me #even though she says its not something she 'puts up with' because she loves me #trans #t4t #transhet #transmasc #t4t mlw #st4t #trans man #transgender #also had someone who said i was 'missing the point' of being t4t one time #like earlier this year #took all i had to not be like #'nope. i got it'

[fe-fictions]

waiii happy new year! love love love your works, ive been a huge fan of urs since 2016 and its my first time sending in a prompt im so excited ajdjjqnss!!!!!!!😭❤️❤️

could i request some lonqu hurt comfort??!?! maybe something to do with self sacrifice....like robin pleading the enemy to let go of him when theyre both captured hehe! thanks so much >_<

(Finally finished this one and I'm thrilled to put it out !! Nothing like a stressed out Lonk U V U )

You didn’t know how you got into this situation. Neither you nor your husband. It was a simple reconnaissance mission, venturing a few miles into enemy territory in an attempt to figure out what they were plotting.

It was already risky since you were short-staffed, and with your exceptional analytical abilities, you’d be able to figure out what was going on the fastest.

Lon’qu wasn’t going to let you go in by yourself, and he definitely didn’t trust Gaius with your safety; he might be sneakier, but he was much more laissez-faire with the lives of others than he was comfortable with.

And so it was just the two of you. Lon’qu had stuck to your side the entire time, watching for threats while you took down hastily scribbled, imperative notes. But all it took was one silent assassin that was able to go undetected…and suddenly, you were both bound and forced to your knees.  

“Well, well…whatever do we have here?” Orton’s voice was more than recognizable; the slimey rat that had escaped your justice when you first rescued Maribelle, not long ago.

You struggled against your restraints, recognizing the unmistakable bloodlust in the bastard’s eyes.

“I’m sure Lord Gangrel will be quite pleased with the little rabbit caught in our snare. This one is new, though.”

He eyed your husband, “Bring along some cannon fodder?”

“Leave him alone. He’s got nothing to do with me or any of this.” You glared at him, earning a glance from Lon’qu. What were you talking about?

“I doubt that very much, Tactician. There must be some reason he’s tagged along with you all the way out here…far from safety.”

He brandished his polearm, the tip pointed inches from Lon’qu’s face. The blood in your veins burned hotter.

“A soldier, assigned to me for protection. Nothing more. I’m the one you want, not him.”

“Robin-”

“Let him go, and I’ll come willingly.” You demanded, not skipping a beat. Lon’qu’s expression was difficult to read. But the fear that flashed in his eyes was immediate, and impossible for you to miss.

Orton laughed, turning the spear to you, instead.

“I don’t think you’re in any position to negotiate, girl. But I respect the attempt.”

He nodded to one of the soldiers behind you both, and immediately there was a painful yank on your arms, forcing you back from Lon’qu.

“Hey!!” He barked out, ready to lunge in spite of his predicament. Instead he was pulled the opposite direction, separating the two of you.

“You know what I think?” Orton mused, spinning the weapon in his hands. “I think he’s more important than ‘some soldier’. I think he’s a lot stronger than you’re pretending he is.”

“Leave him be, and I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I’m Chrom’s right-hand; there's more than enough that I can give him.”

“Really? You’d sell out the crown over one paltry soldier?” He narrowed his eyes at Lon’qu, who fought so very hard not to let your facade be for nothing.

He was glaring sharply at you, pleading with you not to make a foolish deal.

“It is a captain’s duty to protect her soldiers; no matter how small.” You spoke with conviction,  “Surely you can understand that, as an honorable military man, yourself?”

“I’d be lying if I said Milord felt similarly about the lesser of our ranks, but…I cannot say no to such an alluring deal. Leave that one, boys- the mountain lions will get to him before anyone else does. Take her away.”

“Stop! Damn you-!!” Lon’qu roared, fighting against his restraints. He was only pulled further away. His arms twisted painfully behind him, dragged further and further away from his wife. 

You could only watch as he was flung from your view, sent crashing down the ravine into and out of sight. It was scafrier when you couldn’t hear him.

It took everything in your power not to try and reach him. To fight back and rescue him.

“Now then, Tactician; I believe I was promised some answers.”

The paralyzing fear was the only thing that kept you from lashing out; the swirl of endless emotions was stalling your mind. All you could do was stare at the ravine, getting further away with every drag across the dirt.

You hoped Lon’qu’s head would pop up, revealing him waiting for you and preparing to save you from your enemies,

But no such surprises would occur.

You still stared after that empty place, waiting with baited breath for the man to appear who would not return.

At least…not right away.

But there was nothing you could do but wait and pray that he hadn’t died after that nasty throw. There wasn’t much else available to you.

-------------------------

“You promised to give me what I wanted. Why do you insist on silence?” Orton was growing tired of your disobedience.

He had you tied to the pole of some ratty tent, interrogating you without  a hint of mirth in his eyes.

“You promised not to hurt my soldier, but you condemned him to death anyways. What right do you have to ask me questions?”  You spat, earning a click of his tongue and a slap across your face.

Enough of this arrogance!! You are in no position to hold such arrogance- you do not have the upper hand, woman!”

You fought hard not to focus on the stinging pain in your cheek; he’d drawn blood and all but numbed the side of your face.

Who knew those bastards could pack such a wallop?

“I can only tell you…what I know…which is very little. The Fire Emblem is a sacred artifact to the royal family, and it is hidden somewhere that none can find, unless Exalt Emmeryn reveals-!!”

You were cut off by another strike, this one sending you headfirst into the ground. The ringing in your ears grew louder, your vision clouded and blurry. That definitely wasn’t a good sign.

“If you don’t stop playing foolish games, then you’re going back in a casket. I planned to deliver the head tactician to King Gangrel in one piece, but if he knew how infuriating you are, he’d have you brought to him in pieces!!”

The man spat at your feet, stalking away to try and regain himself.

You did make an effort to focus on his words, but it was so very difficult. After a few deep breaths and a number of colorful expletives left his mouth, Orton stopped his pacing and returned his focus on you.

Maybe it’s because you were tired of looking at him, but you found yourself looking past him and at the guards by the tent entrance as his ugly boots came back into view.

“I’ve been more than patient with you, wench- but I’m running out of options on how to deal with you, and you’re running out of time.”

There was a sudden shift in the colors of the bushes behind a guard. A bright blue and red appeared behind the green.

You blinked, brow furrowing in an attempt to focus your vision. A pair of hands had shot out from the leaves and grabbed the man, mouth covered so as not to allow a shout. The other guard and Orton…didn’t notice.

You must have been hallucinating. 

“I want the location of the Emblem.” He spoke again, louder and closer than before. He hadn’t noticed that one of the soldiers had disappeared.

Your gaze flicked to the other man standing just the opposite, confused by the fact he was now standing alone.

Within an instant, a dart stuck into his neck, and he crumpled. A shadowy figure caught him, dragging him away.

You couldn’t even think to react to what you were seeing. Orton’s hand was on your face, grip tight and painful on your jaw to force you to look at him.

“You’re not getting away. Stop looking outside.” He grinned viciously, “The only chance you’re getting out of here alive is if you give me what I want.”

He stared down at you, grinning wickedly. His grip was so tight it felt like he was going to crack your bones.

“Now…tell me. Where is the Fire-”

The tip of a blade broke through his armor, silencing him with a wet choke. Your eyes widened, staring in shock at the sword mere inches from your own body.

“W-what…did you…”

He crumpled to the ground when the sword was pulled from his chest. When he fell away, Lon’qu stood over him, raging fury in his eyes.

“Oh my gods-” You gasped, stunned at what you were seeing. “L-Lon’qu?”

“I’m here.” He closed the distance between you, throwing the blood from his sword before cutting away your bindings. 

As soon as you were free of the ropes your arms were flung around his neck. Lon’qu grunted from the impact, welcoming the embrace all the same.

He squeezed you close, his face pressed to your neck. 

“Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m-” You were suddenly jerked back, Lon’qu holding you an arm’s length away to search you over. “Wait, w-why are you asking about me? They threw you down a ravine!!”

“Shepherds found me. They were on our trail when they realized we weren’t in the headcount.” He nodded his head back, and you were able to make out the shapes of Gaius and Cordelia, the few who passed by the tent to secure whatever camp the Plegians had brought you to.

“So you’re okay?”

“I am. But...” He nodded, but the sharp glare in his eyes had yet to dissipate. “I can’t believe you.”

“What?”

“How could you do that?” He glowered, his grip tightening on your arms. “How could you give yourself up like that? The hells is wrong with you?!”

“I wanted to protect you.” He scoffed at your response, harsh and bitter. “If I knew he was going to try and kill you anyways, I-I never would have-”

“It doesn’t matter. You bargained your life, when you know damn well that I-!”

“Lon’qu, we couldn’t find her in the camp! Did you- oh!! Oh, thank the gods!!” Your husband was cut off at the sound of Chrom’s voice, the prince thrilled to see you were here. 

The Myrmidon spared you one last glower, before he pulled back, letting Chrom and Lissa flurry past him. 

You bit your lip, trying to fight the urge to press the argument. He looked deeply upset, and you didn’t want to cut it off before it could be resolved. There was nothing worse than letting him stew in his hurt.

“It’s okay, Robin!! We’re here now! Lon’qu led the  way, and the whole camp’s cleared out! Though we’ll need to do something about that body…”

“We’ll worry about Orton and the rest later. Lissa, can you heal her quickly?” Chrom asked his sister, who already had the stave pulled out and glowing.

“You got it! Just hang tight for a second Robin, we’ll get you out of here in no time!”

It wasn’t yourself that had your mind occupied. It was the fact that Lon’qu stormed out of the tent without looking back that had your focus.

Lissa gave you a pitying look, the healing glow of the stave some comfort.

“Sorry, Robin. I/…we tried really hard to keep him calm. But he’s been angry since the second we found him.”

“Not angry.” Chrom sighed , following the man’s storm from the tent. “Scared.”

-------------------------

When everyone made it back to camp, many of your dear friends who had been so terribly worried were awash with relief.

There was a mild swarm, a million questions being flung at you, but you were simply glad to be back in the arms of your friends.

You did your best to answer as many questions as you could,, but it didn’t take long for your patience to run thin.

Sure, you were healed and feeling far better physically, but there was a deeply hurt man on the far side of camp that you needed to speak to. It was clear what your decision had done created a much bigger issue than anticipated.

So you took a deep breath, steeled yourself, and made your way over to your shared tent. You could hear the sound of steel being sharpened against a whetstone, but little else.

Lon’qu was absolutely steaming. You would tease him and categorize it as sulking, but you figured it best not to try your luck.

Not when there was a serious issue to resolve.

Wordlessly, you entered the tent, making sure to latch it shut behind you. He was kind enough not to lock you out, at least.

“Lon’qu…” He did not stop his work when you called him, his back to you. “We need to talk.”

He did not answer. The stone ground against the blade harder.

“Please, love, I…I’m sorry I hurt you. But I need you to understand why I made that decision. I was trying to protect you.”

This seemed to slow the grinding. He still did not look at you. With a deep breath, you crossed the tent, coming to sit behind him.

Tentatively, your hand touched his back. He did not recoil, which was an improvement; at least he was receptive.

“If they knew you were my husband, they would’ve used you against me. If I let them carry on, they would’ve killed you in cold blood as a simple guard. I…I just…I didn’t think they’d toss you into the ravine like that. I thought you’d be safe.”

Lon’qu shook his head, his grip tightening on the sword. “They’re the enemy. Why the hells would they keep their word?? Surely you knew better than to trust them.”

“It was all I had to ensure your safety. W-when they threw you over the ledge, I…I saw it. I thought that it was over…I t-thought they killed you.”

Lon’qu’s shoulders braced against your touch, feeling your forehead touch his back. You were leaning fully into him, trying desperately not to cry.

“I-it was my fault that you were…that you were in danger in the first place. If I’d been more v-vigilant, I wouldn’t have put you at risk. I wanted to protect you, Lon’qu…please…please understand.”

He sighed, turning slowly and taking your hands into his and pulling you away from his body. He looked at you directly, but the bitter sting wasn’t present in his glare anymore.

“I don’t blame you for this. It wasn’t your fault we were ambushed. I’m upset because you bargained your life for mine. You are not worth less than I am. You have no right to sacrifice yourself for me.”

“I have every right, as your wife.” You argued, squeezing his hands, “And even in that, I failed you. I thought…”

“Robin...” He squeezed your hands, “I understood your intent. But if I’d lost you in that moment, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself, either. Your right to protect me reflects on me, too. It’s my duty to keep you safe. You know my past. Do you really think that I would be okay with you giving your life for mine?”

“It…it didn’t phase me in that moment. What mattered more was making sure that my husband would still be here.”

“You think I would be different? If I was in the same situation, I wouldn’t put my life in front of yours?” Lon’qu was staring into your very soul; trying desperately to make sure you understood what he was feeling. “After everything I’ve been through- what I’ve suffered- you would have me relive it again?”

“No.” You leaned closer, holding his hands to your chest. “No, I wouldn’t. And I’m so sorry that I put that fear in your heart, again. I just want to protect you, because I love you.”

Lon’qu nodded, his gaze falling to the ground. You released his hands so you might wrap your arms around his shoulders, drawing him into your embrace.

“I love you so much, I can’t bear the thought of losing you. And I know you would’ve done the same for me. We have to look out for each other…and we can’t always be safe. But I swear to you, I don’t want to throw my life away. I want to share it with you, more than anything.”

Slowly, finally, he returned your embrace, squeezing you tightly for fear of you ever slipping through his fingers again.

He hated feeling this way- that fear would consume him when it came to you. How badly he didn’t want to lose you. 

His face pressed against your neck, all but engulfing you in his arms like a shroud that cloaked your whole body. 

“I love you, too.”

He felt the slightest tremors in response to his words. How your fingers curled into his tunic, clinging to him with just as much force.

You were everything to each other, reminded and reassured through the tears that slipped from your eyes as feverish kisses connected over and over again.

There were promises to be more cautious with your lives, to find ways to protect one another without putting yourselves in mortal danger…and at the very least, employ some stealth training with Gaius so you could sneak around without “foolishly” (Gaius teased) getting caught again.

Which was a fair argument, if you were being honest.

#lon'qu #robin #fe 13 #fire emblem awakening #fe: awakening #fe awakening #fea #lonbin #lon'qu x robin #lonqu x robin #fe fictions #fe-fictions #f!robin #fem!robin #f!mu #angst #hurt and comfort #kidnapping angst #lonk is PISSED #and we love that for him

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alright, today yesterday I read chapters 17-21 and I sure have a lot of thoughts about Rhysand now. can you guess if theyre positive or negative? I'll give you a hint, its not the one that starts with a p

But before we get into that, can I just say, why the hell is everything happening so goddamn quickly YOURE ALL IMMORTAL. like, heres a rough timeline of acomaf so far: three months of Feyre being miserable in Spring post-UTM, then Rhysand takes her for one week, then Feyre's back in Spring for three weeks, then Rhysand takes her again for one week, then its less than three weeks of Feyre being back in Spring before Tamlin locks her in the manor and Rhysand and Mor take her back to the Night Court. Its been barely half a year! The reason Im bringing that up is first of all, it very much seems like Feyre is already beginning to warm up Rhysand at this point when that is absolutely not enough time for that after what he did to her. And second of all, theyre already demanding so much of her when everyone except for Rhys hasnt even spent 24 hours with her in total. And she just agrees to everything?? Right off the bat, basically the only way this makes any sense is if Rhysand is mind controlling her

Also, this is only semi-related, but i swear I remember Mor wearing a red dress to their first get-together at the HoW and Feyre not reacting to it at all ?? Also, Cassian siphons, they were specifically like a fire-y red what the hell. Now, was that just a mistake or did Rhysand use his mind powers to turn off the part of Feyre's brain that gets triggered at the sight of the color red so she wouldnt ruin his family reunion? You decide.

Alright, now lets talk about Feyre. Ive had some trouble properly analysing her the past few chapters because I was really focused on trying to figure out what exactly made her so unhappy at the spring court vs why she likes the night court so much when they seem very similar. It seemed like her motivation was flip-flopping all over the place, similar to chapters 1-3, but she already came across as far less traumatized somehow, so it felt weird that she would still have so much trouble really articulating what she wants, even to herself. But then I realized, its not that shes flip-flopping, her motivations are just contradictory; she wants to be an important political player who gets to Do Stuff but she doesnt want anyone to pay any attention to her, which is why having an empty title and no actual power staying in a city full of people who dont care if their high lord is just walkin around right beside them is so appealing

And its really frustrating because its another instance of her just getting what she wants right away instead of having to go through any character development. Shes bad at communicating and instead of even attempting to work on that, she just gets a mindreader for a soulmate, and she cant do smalltalk with nobles in order to earn their respect as Lady of Spring and instead of learning to adapt or putting her foot down and refusing to deal with the courtly bullshit at the cost of her political power, she just gets a leadership position that was quite literally made for her.

Somewhat related to Feyre being bad at politicking, they keep bringing up the fact that Tamlin just wanted her to throw parties and wear pretty dresses and maybe pop out some sons at the spring court and its just so annoying. Of course, much has already been said about how ironic it is when you consider how she ends up in ACOSF so Im not gonna go into detail on that but I did want to mention it. Also, parties and other social gatherings were a pretty important way for (noble) women who were kept out of politics to still participate in them in the past, and even if we take out the misogyny that just suddenly materialized in this book, Feyre cant read, doesnt know this land and barely knows what its like being the daughter of a rich guy, much less an actual noblewoman, of course she cant do much but sit around and reassure people that everything is gonna be alright by virtue of her presence

Speaking of the weird misogyny, its so baffling to me the reason shes being objectified and dehumanized (no pun intended) is that shes a woman whos seen as only good for child-rearing, when it really should be her being objectified and being dehumanized by being put on a pedestal for being the Saviour Of Prythian. It seems so obvious like, Ive been rotating some ideas for an ACOMAF-rewrite AU type thing in my head since before I even started reading this book, and one of the first things I decided was that everyone was gonna call feyre The Cursebreaker and nothing else and she would feel really weird and bad about it. I literally dont think anything wouldve changed if her being objectified was a more personal issue rather than something resulting from systemic misogyny, other than the fact that Rhysand couldnt be a feminist in-universe if that was the case

Now, before I move on to the next thing I wanted to talk about, I wanna quickly explain what I mean by "the misogyny just materialized in the second book" because some people might say "oh, but the first book had misogyny as well" and it definitely did but not to the same extent. ACOTAR was kinda weird because it seems to be a pretty egalitarian world, Feyre doesnt think its weird that a woman is a mercenary and while considering that the Spring Court might have a High Lady instead of a High Lord, she doesnt say anything about how it would unusual to have a woman be a leader, but it has this coating of "period-typical misogyny" over it, seemingly just because its what you expect from these kinds of pseudo-medieval european-inspired fantasy settings

So you still get all women being expected to wear dresses and Feyre being an exception for not wanting to wear one and when Feyre daydreams about getting rid of her sisters, she daydreams about marrying them off rather than daydream about them getting jobs or something. But even with that, while Feyre is considered a bit strange for not wanting to wear a dress at the Spring Court, she still ultimately gets to just wear pants without it being a big deal. And then we get to ACOMAF and suddenly theres FGM thats completely normalized, domestic abuse, women being expected to do child rearing and "continue the bloodline" by default even though children were supposed to be super rare and fae should absolutely not structure their lives around them and Feyre being absolutely baffled at the idea of a political leader having a second-in-command thats a woman. And again, it very much seems like the only reason for that is that it makes Rhysand look better if hes recuing women in general from systemic inequality, rather than just rescuing a single woman from her personal problems

And with that, lets finally talk about my most detested, Rhysand Nolastname. He fucking sucks man. In a past post I made a point about comparing specifically ACOTAR!Tamlin with specifically ACOMAF!Rhys because it thought it made sense to compare Tamlin when hes written as a love interest to Rhys being written as a love interest, but honestly, theres so little difference between Tamlin being written as an antagonist in ACOMAF and Rhys being written as a love interest that it feels kinda pointless now. Like, Feyre is upset that Tamlin wont tell her anything about the politics happening, but is inexplicably fine with Rhysand not telling her what he wants from the summer court, she hates meeting with Tamlins associates and having meaningless smalltalk with them but likes meeting Rhysand's, she doesnt like Tamlin flaunting his wealth but is fine with all of Rhysand's expensive bullshit, literally the only difference between them is that Feyre likes one and and hates the other, again, for no real reason because they are the same. Well, the same in their treatment of Feyre, Rhysand is arguably a worse person who has done and is still doing a lot more harm on a larger scale but Im posting this in the anti-rhys tag so you already knew that

Anyway, thats it for now, this got kinda long but I hope you enjoyed it

#anti acotar #anti sjm #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #anti feysand #flames and darkness liveblog

[houndfaker]

i know ive touched on it before but it really is just so appealing to me how like, probably what makes me so crazy about kym is just kind of where each of them stands in relation to mitsuru.

you have yukari who is an unexpected match to mitsuru. they are reflections of each other and it takes both of them incredibly long to actually come to terms with that.

and then you have kikuno who is like. an echo of mitsuru. mitsuru's one goal in life was doing absolutely anything in her power to protect the thing that mattered to her the most: her father. kikuno's one goal in life is doing absolutely anything in her power to protect the thing that matters to her the most: mitsuru.

mitsuru omits important information about shadows that she's aware of for the sake of her goal. she isnt fully honest with her teammates, her eventual friends who she has to trust her life with in battle. kikuno deceives for the sake of her goal. mitsuru is the person she cares most about, and she betrays her for what she perceives to be her own good.

mitsuru insists on the belief that sees is only united by the goal to eliminate the shadows, despite the love she's come to have for them all she clings to what feels like logical fact because the idea of burdening them with herself when she cant offer them anything anymore is so scary. kikuno insists on the same exact belief, that sees was only united by the goal to eliminate the shadows, and for that reason its foolish to return to them. to return to battle, where she could die just as her father had.

and while mitsuru is the one who presents the idea that theyre both incorrect in that belief in the first place, its yukari who changes kikuno's mind. yukari is proof that mitsuru is correct to have faith in her friends, to love her friends, to be stubbornly loyal and protective of them despite the present uncertainty of what brought them into each other's lives in the first place. (and yukari is the most active in showing mitsuru that, too! we see as much at the kyoto riverbank.)

and kikuno has a particular fondness of yukari as a result of that, even if its usually accompanied by teasing, she has gratitude towards her for being the person that opened her mind.

and yknow. it is mutual. eventually. however brief the moments are.

idk idk obviously the circumstances for each of their actions are very different but i will never get over just how much the way that mitsuru carries herself influences kikuno whether either of them realize it or not.

shes watched mitsuru tear herself apart to protect takeharu longer than anyone. its no surprise that shes so snappy and intense and protective of her the entire time she's home. she positions herself as the person that takes care of mitsuru where mitsuru doesnt care for herself.

and you have to consider beyond the overall 'she loves her that is the person she would die for' she just watched mitsuru shatter from pursuing and failing what she saw as the meaning of her life. and kikuno takes extreme measures to ensure it wont happen to her next.

and just ohh kikuno finally back to being completely in her element with the reassurance that mitsuru is safe that mitsuru has someone trustworthy looking out for her. its a sliver of faith despite all the risks. its learning what mitsuru had to learn, taught to her by mitsuru and the one who taught mitsuru, too. its insane. i wish they'd all explode. that's all

#quinn moment #p3 #persona 3 #p4au #kikuno saikawa #yukari takeba #mitsuru kirijo #kikuyukamitsu #this isnt Inherently me making a case for the polycule because none of this has to be romantic these strong connections between the #characters still carry extremely important meaning beyond romantic connotation (even if the connotation is kind of undeniably strong when i #comes to kikuno and mitsuru) #but also yknow this whole thing backing up their stupid yurisms is why its so appealing to your friend quinn here. #idk why its so bad like ik logically what i enjoy about them but this is hardly the most profound of gay relationships one can pull #'quinn its because youre autistic' i know iknwo iknow #SORRTY I MADE A LONG POST TREADING THE SAME GROUND AGAIN I WAS THINKING TOO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[engie-the-profit]

worst popular infinite headcanon?

oh my. this one got long so im going to spare peoples dashes by putting this under a cut haha

anyways my answer is: making him out to be a little crybaby who is driven purely by revenge and sadness to make the world pay for shadow killing his squad mates, whom he loved in a normal way and saw them as family or whatever. it makes his character so goddamn flat and boring bc thats such a standard villain motivation, and it entirely strips away a lot of his personality even when theres already so little to work with LMAO

i know ive spoken about it at length in the dog&hog server but to me, infinites most notable trait is that hes selfish

in the prequel comic rise of infinite (yay, prequel comic talk. everyones favourite, i know) he deliberately ignores any protests from his gang against accepting eggmans deal of working with him, because eggy singles him out and offers him a place at his side to bring his fantasy of ruin into reality. not infinite and his crew, just infinite

(image has two comic panels. in the first one, eggman is reaching a hand out to infinite as he says "now you are an interesting guy. i like you. how about i hire you to lead my forces? together we'll take over the world!" in the second panel, one of the jackal squad members says "boss! dont be tempted by him. we'll be fine!")

and infinite says yes after briefly talking about how he personally feels bored and tired of how the world is right now

(image has two panels. in the first, infinite is mumbling to himself, first laughing and then saying "interesting. all this time ive been going through the motions. ive actually grown quite tired of the world as it is." in the second panel he stands and says "lets do it doctor! i'll help you change this world!")

again, its a decision based off an entirely personal and individualistic opinion that only takes his own feelings into account. you would think that if he valued his squad to the extent that they were "like family" to him, he would have listened when they said he shouldnt make a deal with eggman. if he actually cared about them as much as he cared about himself, he would have trusted them enough to say no. instead he only thinks about what he wants and what he can get, not about what will happen to the others

ive always been of the opinion that infinite used his squad and position of authority as their leader to prop himself up and viewed them more like underlings or subjects that he could order around and be superior to, rather than equals whose opinions and input he valued. maybe he started out having more camaraderie with the other jackals, but it certainly doesnt show by the time we get to the events of the prequel comic, and even less so when we get to episode shadow/the main game

the idea that he saw his squad more like tools to make himself look better than people also makes more sense because when in episode shadow, eggman calls infinites squad "useless" directly to him and all infinite says is "yeah, yeah" in a very uncaring fashion. even when he then spots shadow and says "you.. you destroyed my squad!" its entirely unconvincing to me that he said it out of sorrow or sadness; to me it was more like simple anger that it happened. because now without his little group of followers that looked up to him and did whatever he told them to, he had nobody to feel superior to. he couldnt go on any more power trips by being The Boss bc there was nobody left to indulge him, no one to stoke his ego, nobody to be the boss of. so thats why he felt slighted by shadow in the first place; how dare this hedgehog take away what made him feel special and important. and then of course the ensuing humiliation that came afterward was just the icing on the shit cake haha

it also explains why infinite never brings up his squad in any of his monologues (besides the prequel comics and episode shadow being obvious afterthoughts to the main game loool); he just doesnt care. if anything, their loss was his gain bc it pushed him towards acquiring the phantom ruby and getting to go on the ultimate power trip of world domination and near total subjugation of the population. i think that also ties into his mindset that friends make you weak and you cant rely on anyone but yourself; in his case, thats literally true. if he hadnt lost his squad, if he had initially listened to them, the chain of events we know well would not have come to pass and he would not have gotten to become the powerhouse he did. he would have still been leading his monotonous life and following the same old script. from his perspective they really did hold him back, and only once they were gone was he able to become stronger. he reiterates this by thanking shadow in the dlc for doing what he did in mystic jungle (killing the jackal squad and kicking infinites ass) bc otherwise he wouldnt have gotten the incentive he needed to take on the mantle of becoming a super powered weapon

and if you want some more evidence thats admittedly a lot more of a stretch, you could also interpret infinite creating a posse of past sonic foes as him filling the void of using the jackal squad that was created after shadow had taken them down. he gets to control people again (even if theyre clones that had no choice but to obey him but nyeh i told you it was a stretch), he gets to be a leader again

idk, i just think that having a sob story as a main motivation is (funny joke here) weak. i have never once thought that infinite needs to have some kind of sympathetic or tragic backstory. and maybe thats just my own personal bias coming through bc i prefer villains that are evil for reasons like their moral philosophies or have some kind of goal that makes the audience go "maybe they do have a point tbh" and villains that are just evil for the sake of it over villains that say "my mom died" as if that is any kind of justifiable explanation. imo it almost always comes off as them making an excuse, and its lame. just own it, yknow?

so yeah if i could block one thing from the minds of infinite fans it would be the hc that infinite was tightly knit with the jackals and wanted what was best for them. bc with all the evidence ive seen, its not supported at all, and hes actually the exact opposite; he does what he wants and uses who he wants for his own purposes and gain

also yes i do think shadow straight up killed the other jackals and i do think thats in character for him but thats a conversation for another day

#he said ask #bitter-sweet-coffee #engie.txt #infinite the jackal #sonic forces #sth #jackal squad #as with every opinion i have #remember that this is just that. an opinion #idc what anyone else does #if you want infinite to sob over losing his besties then fine #but dont act like its the most reasonable and backed up interpretation of canon #bc the evidence simply isnt there #im more than happy to enjoy canon all by myself #sitting alone in my i-love-respecting-canon corner

[emoangel44]

HI RAXZ IT TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED AS IT'S BEEN A WEEK BUT!!! DURING ALL THAT I DIDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR FIC/S It's just one of those pieces of fanwork that leaves so much of an impression on someone, that it just ends up sticking and changing what you initially thought of a character, because of how well done the things most would just move aside or chalk up for simple reasons. you seem to be the only person who really does get Chara like no other, and I hope it's not strange to say you write them almost as if you know them or you are them that I'm sorta afraid nothing else will live up to how you written them and asriel in ur fan fic LOL but no matter... i will prevail. I love how you were able to portray charas self hate and self harm, i love how you didn't hold back on the ugly side of it and how far and disturbing it can be especially for someone as young as chara. There's just something so realistic about it that don't see alot anywhere else. 

I also like how you made asriel be childish, childish in a way a kid can be bratty or selfish(?) in the first half, that might not be a good descriptor but my puter is lagging from the many many words I've written for this ask so I'm making do </3 the point is you really know how to write these kids. Also enjoy that the tone of each fic is starkly different from one another, asriels pov feels grounded in comparison to charas inner thoughts

HOPEFULLY this all makes a little sort of sense, I've read both of ur fics three times so I'm praying it does, amen. ANYWAYS……. Love ur brain, would love to hear any thoughts you have on utdr in general if you ever decide to share em…. godbless. perhaps i couldve worded this better in a diffrent time but oh well, we ball. i hope u have a great day emoangel44🫡 will be looking forward for ur new utdr stuff

FIORE!!! i have been waiting for this day.. thank you so much. ive had several people say that i really get chara including like, literal veteran chara fans. its very nice to hear, theyre pretty important to me as a character. which is rather funny because the only analysis ive ever actually written on them that wasnt fanfiction was an essay on how i think theyre kind of actually a little poorly written LOL. to understand someone you have to know their weakpoints i guess... even if on a meta level.

for my asriel interpretation i try to incorporate a lot of "flowey-isms" as i say. the way i see asriel is that he was always a bit of a bratty, selfish kid that struggled with low empathy. he chooses to do what he thinks is right because he knows its right and not because it provides him with positive feelings himself... i think thats even more admirable. as opposed to this is think chara is high empathy which is part of the reason they did what they did. asriel is just way more of a people person than chara and so comes off as more understanding, charas just naturally a bit off-putting no matter how hard they try not to be.

chara and asriel are quite different people so i tried to make that clear in how i write their perspectives. chara is kind of stuck in their own head and lives in a world with walls of misery and think prose. theyre very direct but also very metaphorical. its a weird combination but it gets easier to write when taking in account their canon dialogues (one day youll get a fic from me with a more light hearted tone where chara will get to make their dog puns and nerd jokes. maybe). this is also the reason i write them with a strange mix of first and second person. it just feels natural for our narrator.

asriel on the other hand is much much more of an emotional person and is much less formal in how he thinks. he has a lot more filler words and "i-think"s and "i-feel"s and such.

i figure ill write a bit on what inspired each fic.

for my chara fic, i actually started writing it while bored in class. it was inspired a narration line in one of the fights in undertale, the one i used for the summary. the main thing i wanted to play with was metaphors and metaphors upon metaphors. mainly related to charas self hatred though the lense of soil and dirt and flowers and gardens because of course.

for my asriel fic, the main thing i wanted to play with was, quite obviously, writing from asriels perspective. i had already written 2 fics from charas perpective (the 1st one isnt as good as the other two and was mostly written as a characterization and perspective test) so i figured it was time to give him a turn, especially since it we only realy got a peak and asriels personality through charas eyes and i wanted to show it off more. the other thing that the fic ended up centering on is something my friend said to me about how they felt my chara characterization was screaming to be understood under all the hurt. basically the thesis of this fic is "asriel did not fully get chara but he was also the closest anyone ever got by a long shot which counts for something".

if youd like to see my other undertale stuff, here is some poetry ive written about chara (and asriel), here is my art tag which is full of stuff with them (alternatively, just use my undertale tag if you dont want art of anything else), here are my chara and asriel playlists that i always listen to while writing, and here is that chara essay i mentioned.

speaking of my thoughts on utdr... i actually dont post the majority of them. but id absolutely love to talk about them. so if you (or anyone else) have any questions about my thoughts on utdr or want to start a discussion about it Please do. Im actually begging you. i need more engagement guys send me asks. thank you for reading this absurdly long response

#raxz.ask #undertale

[n3xii]

30-day tarot spread challenge

today's spread is gonna be shadow work based since yesterday's reading suggested I needed to do more of this + dream work.

Day 2/30

Spread:

Reading:

card decks used: les vampires, tarot de la nuit

card one: anti hero | I chose my les vampires oracle deck to do this portion of the spread because I think decks like this are perfect for interpreting personas or archetypes. The card I got was anti-hero, ''maverick, risk taker, and rule breaker.'' I think this is accurate in some instances, to some people I think I do present myself as an antagonist in a comedic/unserious way. I present myself as someone who does not appreciate rules and institutions, and this had gotten me in arguments with family.

card two: ten of cups | ten of cups representing what I conceal or hide is very interesting because its true, i interpret the ten of cups as the family and the sentimental side of life. I've always been someone who doesnt like to be sentimental even in private at the risk of being seen as cheesy, I've always hated movies that are intentionally trying to make the audience cry, Ive always been hyper aware of how people try to invoke emotion, responding emotionally almost feels like im following a script. I cringe when certain people try to be vulnerable or sentimental especially with the intention of forcing a reaction from other people, rather than sharing something without any expectations afterwards. I've been this way since a kid, I do try to conceal being sentimental and emotional because I think I subconsciously want to avoid being someone who uses emotions to manipulate and get a reaction from others.

Card three, the hierophant | the card that represents my feminine self is the hierophant?? at first impressions, the hierophant is about societal norms, tradition, institutions, community, and essentially the archetype of a wise elder or professional. So with this in mind, I think this is possibly saying that the feminine aspect of me is traditional in a sense, shes a woman in the way society defines a woman. The card in the deck im using is depicted using a man, (like most decks) so I think this is saying that this feminine aspect of me is supplied by a male dominated society, shes defined by a very patriarchal view of what a woman should be. I do think this is true as I have written about trying to exile the male gaze from my own self-perception in my own journaling. going back to the first card where I portray myself as disobedient to norms and rules, I think it's important to point out how the actual feminine aspect of me is litterally the oppoiste of that. to some degree, the feminine traits in me are influence by societal norms and expectations, so although I'd like to think of myself as a rule breaker, i conform more than I'd like to admit.

card four: the three of pentacles | the three of pentacles representing the masculine in me makes me want to laugh for some reason. the three of pentacles on surface level is about teamwork, applying skills, planning, strategizing, inspiration, etc. So on first impressions, I wonder if my masculine traits present in a very practical way, perhaps when Im trying to help and work with other people or develop new skills? I think my masculine traits are positive but this makes me sad, because I wish my feminine traits also presented in a way that didn't contradict what I think I present to the world.

card five: death | death representing my whole self is kind of cunt. the culmination of all my traits and complexities is ultimately about transformation and rebirth. Death in this card deck is portrayed as a woman going to a festival to celebrate the dead, so alternately this represents celebration and gratitude, almost as if my whole self honors and celebrates the previous forms of me. my ''whole self'' is a graveyard of who I used to be, and a celebration of all the forms I've had to take to get here-, my whole self is ever evolving and honoring the past. I am a Scorpio rising and Venus so I think this accurately portrays my scorpion traits as well.

#tarot meanings #tarot readings #pac tarot #pick a card tarot #pac tarot reading #pac reading #pick a card #pick a card reading #astro notes #astro thoughts #tarot challenge #tarot cards #oracle cards #witch tips #witchcraft

[chiyoso]

dude.

seeing other writers/mutuals who are so skilled at what they do talk about not getting support in their sfw, fluff and angst fics just piss me the fuck off, i'm genuinely so heated at the amount of old and new writers struggling because of new tumblr users

ik a lot of you readers like to read our smut fics/porn fics, but those writers, also talking abt only getting likes, instead of reblogs n interactions from those types of works as well is just so depressing that im starting to have this growing idea of what some to most readers are in tumblr

ill be the voice that other writers are hesitant and afraid to express:

REBLOGS; ARE SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO US THAN A SIMPLE DOUBLE TAP DOES.

LIKES are like a quick glance for us writers.

LIKES are like people who pass by us when we walk anywhere and everywhere.

LIKING is like telling us writers who take our time to write FREE shit for you; “we see it, we like it, but we will not do anything about it”

LIKES will NOT get us writers anywhere in this app.

LIKES is like deafening SILENCE for us writers, crickets, ghosts, an eerie dark night.

LIKES arent similar to instagram, tiktok and other platforms. it is DIFFERENT in this platform. they dont mean jack shit.

LIKES are like a hit and dip shit scenario. one night stand, loveless sex, meaningless encounters.

i've seen so much amazing fics, nsfw or sfw have over almost 9k interactions, then i look to the reblogs count and see only a whopping 500 or so like THE FUCK? SCUSE ME? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RATIO?

if you're apart of the "ooh! i genuinely like this!" then only press like—thank you, truly. we're glad you like our work, to gain your interest and your silent support, but i want to inform you simply liking doesn't help us in a technical sense, it doesn't help our blog, our reach, it doesn't help our blog grow.

and if you're one of the blogs who only likes, i genuinely don't know what's so trifling and difficult about reblogging and adding the pre-made tags for you to spam and get it over with. i do it and its so, so fucking easy.

i genuinely, genuinely don't understand the analogy as to why you can't just... press that helpful ass button beside the heart. please, someone, enlighten me behind the reasoning.

if you're a bot, fuck you.

now, REBLOGS.

will at least (without tags/comments) be seen by your following and increase our significance only slightly.

REBLOGS with # tags INCREASE our chances of being discovered by a fuck ton.

REBLOGS with tags MIXED with your comments HEAVILY motivate us, your thoughts about our WORK motivates us.

REBLOGS are so, so fucking relieving for us, and that relief has been addictive to those starved from support, especially to writers who are struggling OUTSIDE of their work/hobby/blog.

REBLOGS in a literal sense, mean so much more to us than likes. especially with your damn thoughts. the mere thought of taking your time into writing something FOR US and OUR CREATION is so fucking motivating, every positive input from you will be CHERISHED no matter what.

and the fact we have to beg for it, to speak out about it as of late...

god, i remember in full detail the day where i wrote my first story, it had only 200 interactions max, and most of them were only likes and a few reblogs, but my inbox was full of positivity, mixed in with a few shitty ones, but i pressed on because of SAID INTERACTIONS AND MY LOVE FOR WRITING.

to my mutuals and other writers; i fucking love you and your stories so much, sfw or not, the writing community has done so much for me mentally, and lots of fics have been healing me. god its my first time releasing such emotions into this blog, but yea, ive just had it from the amount of turmoil ppl have been causing into all of you, outside tumblr or not.

hhh fuck im so pissed ill stop it right here, stay safe and may your favorite characters kiss you goodnight

#— Whispers Against The Void •• #im sorry for using mean words but im also not sorry for speaking up abt this too. #genuinely hurt me seeing so many writers talk abt this. it both hurt and pissed me off so fucking much #to the point where i wanna stone and boil whoever is causing yall so much pain #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writer help #help for readers #cw vent #cw rant

[fatcowboys]

i rlly kinda need fat liberation or body positivity or whatever to be so so so So much better about includong masculine folks in their resources and conversations.

ive rarely been femme even before i knew i wasnt a woman so its not like ive really had a bountiful access to fat resources aimed towards femme folks but god damn i have felt my options shrink even smaller the less comfortable i am with femme aimed resources and how out of place my body seems within so many of those spaces and resources. ESPECIALLY ones that can accomodate my trans body, tits (that i don't hate! and don't foresee going anywhere anytime soon!) and all.

i know how few plus sized clothing brands there are (not even getting into affordable + ethically made etc etc) but if the ones that exist its an OVERWHELMINGLY femme aligned majority that i feel miserable wearing without a lot of extra styling and modification work. or the amount of masc clothes in stock at plus size resale stores vs femme clothes. or if i am looking for style inspiration or folks speaking about fat liberation finding fit insp for fat women is easy! but i have a much smaller pool of fat masculine folks (who i treasure dearly!) that ive found and return to their content regularly because its so valuable to me because its often hidden under content that, while important, has limited usefulness for me

i find this extra prevalent in body positivity spaces, where it often feels like resources and information is shared with the assumption that its been shared to other femme folks and women without specifying that is who its usefulness is aimed towards. what triggered this post right now (although its honestly always lurking around the corner, watch out if you have a single conversation with me about fat liberation) was a post about body positivity where someone shared a resource of a website where you can put in your height, weight, other info and see people who might look like you (and make it easier to appreciate their body where you find it difficult to appreciate your own). and i thought thats a cool resource! i dont get to see people who look like me, hardly ever! lets check it out!

unfortunately what wasnt included was that the subtitle for this site is "what real women look like" so while there wasn't any info stating identities of the people shown on the photos, of the few i clicked through they all were femme and while they looked great, i didnt see anyone who i felt looked like me to get what i hoped out of that site. this would have been fine if the person had posted it had stated its target audience up front, but this isnt the first time, and wont be the last time, that i got excited about a resource only to learn it actually has very little that applies to me.

if you are someone who shares content about fat liberation, PLEASE consider how much content and resources you share that can be utilized by your masculine followers as well - and at the very least, please don't state something as universally beneficially if its not. i understand why there is such a focus on this considering the history of beauty standards applied to femme folks (and more). however im unlearning those too and now also dealing with new ones as i transition that are far less talked about and i just ask we give some space for fat men, masculine people, butches and more to also create space to deal with these struggles within fat liberation spaces. especially especially especially for fellow folks larger than small fats because the need only grows.

#okay to rb! #god this got so long lmfao but. im really really tired lmao.