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jerreeeeeee · 2 months

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there's nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy with a platonic relationship being the most intimate and important in someone's life (whether that person is also in a romantic relationship or not). this has been said before but people still treat it like its true. ESPECIALLY that a prioritized platonic relationship belies “codependency” even though no one would bat an eye at the exact same dynamic if it were romantic, because of the idea that a prioritized platonic relationship is somehow immature/unhealthy and something to grow out of/move on from.

the idea that the twins just go, well, you've been the person i felt safest loving and trusting in my entire life, our souls have been bound by fate and magic and our love for one another is one of the strongest bonds in the multiverse, transcending death and unimaginable loss, the motivation behind everything we’ve ever done, but since we're both in romantic relationships now and the story is over, the reasonable and in-character thing to do would be to split up and have separate nuclear families because that's the "healthy thing" (read: expected thing). there's no other form of a domestic happy ending than a marriage and typical nuclear family. you're everything to me, my entire world, my heart, see you later.

ok this got too long i'm putting it under a readmore.

(also why i don't really like the idea that taako adopts angus. "parent" is not the only important, loving role an adult can play in a child's life but people feel that need to shove everything into a nuclear family. also taako has too much going on to be the good parent that angus needs anyway. and magnus and lucretia are right there. but this is another post <- this is actually a fan fiction i’m writing, kind of)

i just find that frankly silly. i truly believe that the twins live together for the rest of their lives and are always each others' most important person (before anyone kills me i do think barry is there too. they also both love him so much. capacity for love INCREASES there’s no need for a replacement or a “moving on” it’s an addition). there's not any reason they wouldn't live together other than that it’s not “normal?” but why would they give a shit about that. their prioritization of one another isn't the unhealthy thing about their relationship. they do have other stuff going on that's actually codependent, but i think they eventually work past it and come to have a healthier (yet no less close) relationship. actually this post was originally just supposed to be about those codependent tendencies but i felt like i needed to compensate by clarifying that there are only a very specific few things abt their dynamic i find unhealthy and that by and large they’re fine, actually.

the main thing is, as is so succinctly put in this post—they aren't able to communicate about big, important decisions. not to say they never communicate about anything, i think they actually do communicate effectively about a lot of things—warning i’m going into a complete tangent here—i see a lot an idea that they’re not siblings who hug or really verbalize affection at all which is crazy to me (<- personal opinion alert) like they’re closed off and distrusting (taako more than lup, but she’s certainly not exempt from their trauma) to other people and the world at large but they have always always been each other’s exception, each other’s utmost safe place, the one person they could be absolutely comfortable around, who they never have to be afraid of. that’s one of the things i find so compelling about them, that they trust each other with their entire selves. they have no reason to ever feel defensive around each other. oh to be known so entirely and intimately and never feel ashamed or afraid of judgement or abandonment. augh. so i do think they hug.

also—i don't think they "don't know how to be a person without each other" like that's certainly not true for lup and i don't really think it's true for taako either. they have their own distinct personalities and identities they just also both inform each others’ lives. they're an integral part of each other's identity the way your family or best friend or partner or most important person in your life is but again i think that's fine.

but back to the topic at hand anyway they DO hide their misgivings from each other when it comes to huge shit with world-changing, life-threatening consequences lol. when it comes to, like, turning herself into a lich, or leaving to recover her dangerous magical artifact, lup feels like she needs to be entirely decisive and confident for taako, and when it comes to his sister turning herself into a lich, or proposing a dangerous magical artifact plan, taako feels like he needs to be unflinchingly supportive and loyal for lup. and those both backfire obviously. because they trust each other so completely that they don't trust each other enough to not trust each other. weird paradox.

but really its not a lack of trust in each other its their own insecurities projected onto each other. lup second guesses herself but feels like she can’t express that uncertainty so she’s alone with her doubts which increases the pressure and stress and creates a feedback loop that only makes her more insecure. and taako feels like he doesn’t have anything to bring to the table other than backing up lup and is afraid doubting her would hurt her which means he never has an opportunity to find out he does actually have good ideas and that lup would listen to him constructively. but it manifests in lup “not trusting taako” to have her back even if she doubts herself and taako “not trusting lup” to take criticism even if his idea is good.

and honestly i think the solution to this just comes with… not being in those lifethreatening situations anymore. the universe was saved and they have normal (magical fantasy world) lives. so now when they’re hiding things from each other the stakes are a lot lower. and when the stakes are lower they’re able to express uncertainty because they don’t feel that extreme and terrifying pressure anymore. lup doesn’t have to make impossible decisions and stick to them despite any doubt because she doesn’t have the survival of entire worlds on her back anymore. taako doesn’t have to always agree with lup and uncritically support her every choice because he’s not the only thing holding her together from oblivion anymore. so they're able to express doubts and nothing falls apart and they're actually stronger for it. and they’re already doing so much work on fixing their relationship just from being separated and kinda grieving for a decade too, so they eventually work past that.

and also because they have to face those insecurities and their consequences. lup got trapped in umbrella limbo for a decade and taako had his life destroyed. if lup had been able to overcome her need to put everything on her shoulders and expressed uncertainty, if taako had been able to overcome his blind loyalty and expressed doubt, would they have gone through with the relics? would they have even gone through with the lich plan? they realize only afterward that they should’ve talked about it, and so they learn from their mistakes.

another tangent—isn’t it so crazy how, by any standard, lup should be the strongwilled, passionate, heroic protagonist and taako her cynical, pragmatic, yet loyal sidekick? and yet he’s the protagonist and she the supporting character in the actual narrative? so subversive and intriguing. i cant believe this was all masterfully and purposefully written. anyway. (<- in the in-universe metanarrative version of the story, lup [and honestly, probably davenport] is the tragic ghost who haunts the narrative and lucretia & barry are the morally gray protagonist foils, and tres horny boys are supporting characters/comic relief who go on to have their own semi-important b-plot arcs that ultimately serve to further the protagonists’ arcs. btw.)

back to the twins. i also think they don't only grow post-canon, i think they grow a LOT during the century, because in the beginning, they're coming from a life where they have been not only the most important people in each other's lives, but the ONLY people in each other's lives. and now they're suddenly faced with more people, which they handle fine individually, more or less—lup is faster to warm up to the others, but even though taako's attitude is very much that he only cares about him and his, he is capable of expanding the people who are "his" (eventually). but they've never had to bring other people into their dynamic with each other before.

i don't think either of them are possessive, their relationship is built on deepest mutual respect and love and trust and "possessiveness" is kinda antithetical to that, but they can both be jealous on occasion. although there is a difference—lup is the only one who will outwardly display jealousy (and maybe a better word than jealousy would be insecurity), again because of the dynamic earlier: taako must always support whatever decisions lup makes without question. so when taako dies one cycle and all of a sudden merle and magnus and everyone else grieve him too, lup feels a sense of ownership over grief (not over taako himself, but over loving taako, just because no one else ever really has before, and she’s never had to think about the possibility that he might love other people too) that she initially may not challenge but does eventually let go of, because it's actually a good thing that other people love him now, and bringing new people into their family doesn’t make their love for each other any less. and taako has a similar experience but tbh i think its a little easier for him bc, like, who wouldn’t love lup, and lup loves other people way more freely than taako does (still not super freely, its a low bar). not that lup thinks taako is unloveable OBVIOUSLY (taako does think he’s unloveable tho) i just think they have different attitudes abt it, like they both have the moments of “but you don’t love them as much as i do!!” which is true, no one loves them as much as they do, but taako’s more willing to let that shit go bc he just doesn’t care as much what the others do as long as they don’t fuckin bother him about it. like lup sees the others equate (as she sees it, but oc they’re not actually grieving At Her) their (comparatively shallow) grief to her world-shattering loss of her best friend, only family, soulmate, silly rabbit, and she gets angry about it, but taako’s reaction is more like, “ok they’re stupid. who cares.” meanwhile and more importantly, all of a sudden lup is falling in love with barry, but taako's not one to throw a fit or demand that he's the only one who can love lup nor the only one lup can love. she’s made her decision. he just gives barry advice and lets it quietly hurt and draws distant, because he has a deep seated fear of abandonment that is now, for the first time, clashing with his unshakable trust in lup. and their relationship irrevocably changes but maybe not for the worse, because taako has, for the first time, doubted lup, a disruption to their typical (codependent) dynamic. but, of course, in the end his fears are unfounded and lup pulls him back in, because their capacity for love increases—of course lup still loves him just as much and yknow what, so does barry, and so does the rest of the crew. so he doubts and fears and is proven wrong. and so they grow and change, and their world increases from two to seven.

but that doubt doesn’t really go away for a long time, exacerbated and strained the more lup keeps secrets (especially with barry) until it reaches a head when lup finally doubts taako and does truly abandon him. but again, of course, never on purpose and never forever, they find their way back to each other despite everything and, again, come away stronger for it. the idea that the twins’ relationship is never as close again after story and song is so fucking tragic and heartrending but really i just think its unrealistic. because the rift between them is what caused their pain in the first place, of course they wouldn’t just shrug and move on. they would do anything for each other, including a lot of difficult emotional work and healing. for a little while they do have to deal with the reality that they’re not as close as they were. but they can be again. it just takes time and effort.

but anyway just to drive my point home—we mostly see taako's side of it since he is the protagonist in the real world narrative, but lup is always, always positioned within that narrative as his most important person. (and even then, lup says as much for taako! she loves barry of course but she loves taako so much he’s her heart!!) when thb see their lives after the hunger in paloma's prophecy, taako sees himself cooking with lup. she's textually representative of healing and joy in his future, and she's the main character present in his epilogue too. she's his greatest loss and his greatest love, positioned in exactly the same place as julia and merle's kids. there are a myriad of love stories going on in balance and a myriad of love stories involving taako that are all beautiful and significant in their own right but i really do think the main one in his life is lup!!

well all that to say they’re my favorite little critters ever and i’m studying them under a microscope forever. how do you end posts

#whateverrrrr i’m just going to post this even though its rambling #anyway. promise im still writing my fan fictions. i just have been having too many thoughts been unable to condense them #writing this shit into an actual fic is much more satisfying and rewarding but its also sooo hard #bc i have to employ ‘subtlety’ and ‘nuance’ and ‘thoughtful writing’ instead of train of consciousness word vomit. sad!#i’ll never not be insane about them btw #taz taako #taz lup #taz #taz balance #taaco twins #lup #taako #mine #the twins #analysis #also um i know i mentioned barry and not kravitz. and thats because. well. i’m not sure what to do with him.#i think its chapter 12 of solace? thats literally just about him its already written its like 6k words and it resolves absolutely nothing #i’ll figure out how i think he fits in someday maybe

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eddies-house · 6 months

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this is kinda dumb but its almost been a month since ive had any alcohol and ive only had one edible on like a friday night which is...an accomplishment i guess

#it wasn't an addiction necessarily but i heavily relied on it for social situations #and id use it as an excuse some nights to fall asleep #not realizing how awful it was for me #like im trying to be authentically me even if im neurodivergent #like i dont need to “fit in”#i just need to be myself and if that bothers people its not my issue #im really trying to learn that and its super hard #but i think it will be super rewarding in the end #like i was able to somewhat let my guard down at the store while christmas shopping last night #which is huge because im a literal ball of social anxiety #idk just word vomiting again

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familyofpaladins · 1 year

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finally figured out why this shot always gave me weird vibes

WHAT'S UP WITH THE EYE SHAPE?????

Like.... why aren't they glow-y LEGO eyes? why are they like actual eye shape here?

The only other times i think we see this shape is with Macaque's shadow?

I mean, it could simply be that who ever animated this scene drew them that way and no one bothered to change it (looks a little more sinister maybe, and where this is Azure talking about how Monkey King fought against him, maybe that was the goal) Zhu Bajie's (sorry if that's spelled wrong) eyes also look like they maybe has this shape in the same scene.

maybe it's just an animation choice. maybe it's not (idk what it means tho)

#i do just keep thinking about like.....#okay there was that one tweet from a writer/director after season 3. that basically said that Macaque THINKS Monkey King killed him #but the tweet maybe implied that that WASN'T true.#so like.... if monkey king DIDN'T kill him.... why does macaque think he did?#did he see someone who looked like wukong attack him?#and now azure says that wukong attacked him. but was it him??#in the actual journey to the west story the six eared macaque disguised himself as wukong #and like. we all have assumed that happened in lmk too #but what if it DIDN'T #what if there is someone completely different out there pretending to be wukong and ruining all his friendships?#idk IDK #I Have too many thoughts so now you're all just getting a word vomit of a half baked theory #anyway #literally tho. that screencap bugged me so much and now i know why lol #its the non lego eyes #lmk #lego monkie kid #screenshots #lmk sun wukong #lmk monkey king #LMK season 4

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sacredglitch · 1 year

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alerudy proposal blabber

This was wayyy longer than I expected it to be but listen I had to get it out of my system. If you don't like long posts, whoopsie I guess.

We're gonna spit ball this because I thought of this at like 4am as well as another proposal with Henry my OC and Price which is a little...steamier. But I digress.

For context, I've got a lot of HCs with almost all the main characters in MWII but for this specifically, know that after Rodolfo came out, his family cut him off from some contact, his Abuela being the only one who actively stayed in contact and supported him and in turn he stayed in contact with his family for her sake until her passing (sometime after the wedding we'll say) but he's highly welcomed into Alejandro's family which is big enough as is, but Mama Vargas has always stated Rudy was a son that regardless of his sexuality, any family should be proud to have.

Anyways.

After x amount of years of them dating, and the ring Alejandro's own Abuelo passed down to him burning more of a hole in his dresser on base pestering his mind, he decides now is the time to propose to Rodolfo. However, with the workaholic both he is, he's been making excuse after excuse to his parents on why he hasn't done it yet. "Las Almas needs constant protection." "There's a new unit of recruits I have to train." "We can't afford to leave our guards down." Anything that seemed plausible of an excuse to cover his ass on why he just didn't gather the balls to finally ask the man he considered his soulmate to marry him.

He knows Rudy deserves it, they deserve the happiness marriage can bring but it's the fear of losing him. With their career, they could lose either one or both in a blink of an eye. But if Alejandro was to lose Rudy so soon after marriage? He couldn't live with himself. And sure, they're both aware marriage isn't necessary or pivotal for their relationship, but he felt he should so Rudy could have the one blood relation that's supported him for so long be with him on such a special occasion. Abuela Parra isn't getting any younger, despite the compliments Alejandro passes to her.

So, coincidently on the anniversary of them making their relationship official, his mother invites them both to a feast to catch up after half a decade of not seeing one another. Was it really that long since he saw his own mother? He was very aware he lacked communicating to them on if they were still in one piece but seeing that the last photo he had, perched on a shelf in his office, was from his Tia's wedding that was even longer than that, he knew that would most certainly need to change, especially if he goes through with this. So, on his own and Rodolfo's behalf, he accepts the invitation, clears time off their schedules for a long weekend and informs his beloved that he's going to need better dress wear than their dress uniforms.

Anniversary rolls around and in true Vargas tradition, Rudy is the center of attention for questions since, in best efforts made, getting updates from Alejo was as futile as getting blood from a stone. The Sergeant Major doesn't mind it, it's comforting in a way to him, that such a big and accepting family is actually interested in hearing about what's gone on in his life without some snide remarks thrown in.

That wasn't to say his own family was always like that...things just changed when you apparently 'warp' loved ones perceptions when they made the assumptions on his love interests in the first place. Even prior to coming out, he felt overly welcomed in Alejandro's family and always treasured that feeling as close to his heart as the Colonel was, hence the almost joy he had in informing whoever asked about their job or lives and all the endeavours they went on (ones he could actually talk about of course).

The encaptive way Rudy would talk about shenanigans on base or near death experiences they endured also warmed Alejandro's heart, delighted that he was able to provide that to both parties in the first place.

Of course, as much as he'd love to watch his boyfriend talk, the weight of the worn box snapped him back to the other reason they were here. Whilst Rudy was packing up his own duffle bag, Alejandro took a moment to call his Mama to clear one thing with her, just in case this feast was really for something else or if it was because it had been so long since everyone had been together. He explained that yes, they were both still coming, yes, they'll both happily stay for a day or two in his childhood home and yes, he's gonna change such a big gap in contact or visiting for now on, but the reason he called was because he was finally kicking the fear down and making Rudy his husband, and thought if everyone who can be there from his family will be attending, why not make it happen there?

The ringing in his right ear from his mother's scream still hadn't quite cleared up to that point, but he took that as a yes, he's in the clear to do so at the gathering (of course she gave a verbal confirmation once she settled down, her lil Andro finally growing up and growing a pair). He just needed the right moment to do so. The Vaquero was very aware his lover would be stolen by his relatives until dinner so he couldn't just pull him away from their talks. He could but he knows well how much Rudy deserves the family bonding, so he chanced it for after dinner.

The build up to post dinner had Alejandro feeling as if he was back in recruit training, heart racing as his Major screamed drills and commands at them all. It has been far too long since he felt this nervous, over essentially just talking to his boyfriend and making a major step in their relationship. In front of his family. Nothing big. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a quiet deep breath.

You've brought your own soldiers into cruel fights with the cartels and gangs littering Las Almas. You can do this.

He just needed some way to get everyone's attention without overly making it obvious in his plans. Brown eyes landed on the woman across from him; his elder sister. Perfect.

Kicking her ankle gently, her eyes snapped to him, brows furrowing in confusion. "Aleja-" "Outside" was all he said before moving to the courtyard. It had enough viewing space for everyone inside to see out but still enough privacy to not feel as one was being watched by dozens of eyes. And with his darling sister involved, he knew the perfect way to grab Rodolfo's attention.

"Pretend you're pissed at me, I need to get Rudy out here." Alejandro explained, seeing his sibling's brows furrow in even more confusion.

"Get him yourself, and I certainly don't need to pretend, what the fuck was that for?" She folded her arms, not pleased that the first conversation she has with her brother after so long involved him kicking her like a child. The taller sighed, glancing at the open doors.

"Just...entertain it, please. I'm about to do something I should have done a long time ago, but I don't want him to catch on." That made her tilt her head in slight surprise.

"You mean you're-" "Yes! Yes...Please?" A grin reaching her matching brown eyes formed. Fucking finally. "Very well, Alejandro."

With a light but still meaningful shove, his sister began to rip into him on anything she could think of, mainly his lack of communication (such a theme the past week) and how he needs to step it up on letting them know, especially with how El Sin Nombre's cartel has been lately, if they're still kicking, and to visit Mama Vargas at least once a week or a month with Rudy in tow. Upon hearing their respective names, both Mama and Rudy looked to the 'commotion' out in the yard, with Rudy excusing himself to see what the matter was. Stepping out, he smiled wearily before asking if all was okay. The siblings looked at the Sergeant before Alejandro's sister groaned, moving past him. "You try and get through that thick skull of his, Dolfo." Confusion but slight understand filled the younger's face as he turned to his love.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing!" A pause. "...Okay maybe she's pissed at the fact that it's been over five years since we've visited. And...have talked to my family." He glanced back, seeing most eyes on them now. His heart was ready to break his sternum in two with how fast it was beating. "I tried to explain but...she didn't wanna hear it. I understand, I-...I should have done more."

"Love..." Rudy began, linking their arms, "You really should have."

"Ouch, honey, thought you were supposed to be on my side." He joked, moving to face the smaller, linking their hands instead. Rudy let out a small laugh. "She's in the right, you know. Trying to get a response that isn't work related from you is a struggle as is." His tone was just as jokey as Alejandro's was, eyes admiring his lover's face with a matching smile. This is it, Alejandro. Now or never.

"So I should change things, yeah?" Another soft laugh. "Of course, Alejo. Everyone would appreciate it."

Deep breath. Here it goes.

Alejandro's hands cupped Rodolfo's face ever so gently, making sure he was watching him and only him. "Well...Better start changing things off right, then."

As steady as he could, despite every nerve wanting to vibrate from the pure anxiety he felt, he moved to his knee, reaching for the box that was the cause of it all. The only part of Rudy's body to move was his eyes, widening in realisation. Was it planned all along? the thought running quickly through his mind while he watched his love, his partner in crime, his soulmate, open the worn box, revealing a just as worn but clearly loved ring.

"Rudy...Will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?" Alejandro rasped, only himself and his partner hearing the phrase. Everyone inside waited with baited breath as Rudy processed everything before him.

Alejandro. Asking for his hand in marriage. In front of everyone he's considered found family? If this is a dream, I'm never waking up his final thought before the flood gates he didn't realise he was holding back opened up, collapsing into Alejandro's arms.

"Yes!" the younger sobbed, "Yes...I will, Alejo. My love, yes!" Celebratory cheers filled the area as Alejandro pulled Rudy in as close as he could, tuning out his family just for a moment. He knows once they stand up, everyone was going to be congratulating them until they were hoarse, so he was taking this moment to soak in the bliss of finally conquering the fear that plagued him for years. Arms wrapped back around Rudy, burying his face into his shoulder as his own tears fell.

"My God, Rudy," The Colonel whispered, pulling back to meet emotional eyes, "you have no idea how scared I was of you saying 'No', no idea, love." Rudy couldn't help but laugh, pulling his fiancé (that's never going to get old to either of their ears) in for a kiss, letting him take his left hand to place the ring on his finger. Pulling back once more, he cupped Alejandro's face.

"For you, my dear? Never. I would never say no."

#alerudy #alejandro x rodolfo #headcanon #fucking word vomit more like #screaming into the void for these two #they hold my heart in a vICE #just as much as ghostsoap #literally was just thinking of how each couple would propose and theirs stuck out the most #also shout out to twitter and its fixation on piss today #had to get that out of my mind so did it with this

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moonlightsapphic · 6 months

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Y’ALL NEED TO STOP ARGUING ABOUT BILLIE EILISH I SWEAR

She was obviously just being funny and in the comments of her post, it looks like other queer public figures (JVN, Lucy Dacus, Amybeth McNulty, Stevie Boebi, Alix Traeger, even Autumn Kennedy who runs tstourtips) are playing along in the comments. I think it’s heartwarming!

Yes, it’s clear she personally does not want to let the topic of her queerness overshadow her art in interviews, and she wasn’t quite ready for that follow up question from the Vareity interviewer. She looked nervous. she wanted to be able to come out casually and move on. (Perhaps she was just tired of being assumed straight or called a queerbaiter, and it was as simple as needing to quickly clear up public misconception. Which is so fair.)

> Especially considering how she was in good spirits during the red carpet interview in question (watch the video, just please watch the video and see for yourself), it’s obvious she’s just trying to lighten the mood (for both herself and everyone else) with that IG caption.

All of that said, she could have taken into account that the media and public can be both dumb and malicious, and that they would try to twist her funky li’l IG vent out of context and then blame the sweet reporter, who was quite nice (plus queer and PoC herself!). To an extent Billie should have expected and prepared for the polite follow-up questions, considering that her ideal world (where sexuality isn’t a big deal) isn’t the world we’re living in yet, especially outside of rich celebrity circles. It is important information that she should clarify, even for her own protection from the media/public trying to twist her initial vague statements about attraction to women this way or that. Her team prepared her poorly.

(We can make the argument that the Variety reporter could perhaps have started with “Are you comfortable answering questions about your sexuality?” … but I’m sure if at any point Billie had said “Actually I would rather talk about my music or fashion right now,” the reporter would have immediately complied anyway. I think she makes it quite clear that she is a part of the community, and ally and a safe space and well intentioned. Billie was just put on the spot, she didn’t think of that route. And she wanted to vent on IG, because it must be so much to deal with when millions of people and the fucking BBC is suddenly talking about your sexuality. That’s all.)

Still, I agree with y’all in that Billie’s wording on the IG post was poor considering how the masses are unsurprisingly thinking of it as an accusation. Perhaps most importantly, using the word “outing” lightheartedly is tone deaf considering recent events where celebrities have been forced to come out or actually outed. And that’s something Billie could take away from the absolute media clusterfuck this is becoming.

Finally, I agree that she is very privileged and has a lot of influence she could use to support the LGBTQ+ community. But she’s still a person and she deserves to “come out” (or like, just start talking about her queerness) and have people not make a big deal about her identity if that is what’s most comfortable to her. This is a right all queer people should have regardless of their status. She doesn’t owe it to us to immediately become a queer spokesperson. Identity is hard for everyone. You guys are quickly forgetting how people accused her of queerbaiting back when she put out the Lost Cause MV and captioned a photo “i love girls”. (Why people are obsessed with labels, and the nuances of it are a whole other rant for another day, but I digress.) And honestly? She’s so right, leave her alone. She’s had fucking enough. Let queer people be.

TL; DR: Billie is not mad at any reporters for “outing” her. Billie doesn’t think anyone “outed” her in the first place! Billie is just annoyed that a big deal was made of her sexuality after she started talking about her queerness (which she did, intentionally and of her own accord, and also confirmed that it was a coming out of sorts from her end). She simply did not feel ready to talk about it again at 11:00 AM on the red carpet and all the attention was nerve-wracking. So she was venting using (albeit tone-deaf) hyperbolae on an IG post. The reporter was great, too, and absolutely should not be canceled. I hope this clears it up.

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minamotoz · 2 years

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the boy meets world writers creating the most heartbreaking narrative about growing up queer and closeted in 90's you've ever seen (it is entirely through subtext and poorly aged, sorta problematic jokes)

#boy meets world #im sorry im in my shory brainrot era again #i know i literally Never post abt BMW but i cannot stop thinking about this genuinely #i rewatched 4x12 aka the gayest episode and my brain is about to Explode #'its only natural' 'sure......natural' UR JOKING???????????????#theyre so miserable bc of their own comphet yet they just. accept the fact that 'its always been this way and it'll always be this way'#they both long for normalcy and acceptance and they think that being straight is the only way to achieve that HELLO CAN ANYONE HEAR M #like. cory chasing the white picket fence nuclear family fantasy with topanga and shawn chasing what cory and topanga have #bc theyre the most stable parts of his life #and so much of corys interest in girls is entirely reliant on keeping up with shawn #he starts crushing on girls bc shawn does. he starts dating girls bc shawn does. he wants to have sex w topanga bc he thinks shawns done it #FUCKING 'i always thought topanga was the one person i could live without but shes gone and uoure here and im alive so it must be you'#ARE UOU KIDDING ME #*couldnt #im sorry im judt word vomitting i just feel. Insane #this show and this ship make me go a bit cookoo bananas

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transgenbur · 10 months

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this might just make sense to me but im visiting friends of my parents and we’ve been there several times in the past few years but this is the second time ive had this specific bedroom and the last time was when we went there in like august 2021. and right now im in this same damn bedroom with the full AC which is like. Not a thing generally here. so the sensation of cold and the uncomfortable warmth when you walk out into the hallways is permanently associated with that period to me and summer 2021 is so dsmp to me. like i was in this same exact room two years ago and you know what i was reading a fic by the same author im about to read (i just found them again the other day actually) and i would lurk on the dsmp tags and now i get to Talk on the dsmp tags and people give a shit sometimes and thats so cool. and i remember i drew benchtrio fanart in this very room. maybe ill post all my old art one day idk. and i remember reading so many theories around that era (on the cusp of right before lore started to get Really Rare) and i was so curious as to how or when it would end and now . well. its over . but not really cause im still in that same room and im still reading fics and talking on tumblr and ctommy still means an unreasonable amount to me so maybe its not over

#Literally word vomit . you guys r my journal #but idk its just so weird to be back here like this room with the AC is inextricably linked with 2021 dsmp to me #reading fics by thatweirdguyinthebushes and reading clinic for the first time and seeing fanart of ctubbo & cwilburs talk over the crater…#summer 2021 was something and im still not sure i fully left it #alex.rambles.txt #mcyt

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crows-home · 11 months

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about to have one of the most taxing days tomorrow. nevertheless. we persist gamers 💪

#pobre payasito #i have been... so low energy lately. a lot of things catching up to me. AND with whats happening tomorrow...#i. cannot catch a fucking break.#literally as i was typing this i got hit with another whammy. god fucking damn.#cansado. pinche pobre payasito for real.#im staying positive!!! life is hard!!!!! taxing! shit sucks sometimes!!!!! but im going to live. continue. persist and go through the lows #i need a good cry i think. i should keep writing my fics!!! project and word vomit until something good comes out. im good at that i think!#ahhh. sorry for the rant. its just. if u send me something or if im gone for a bit then please be patient.#this isnt an 'i need my followers to be updated on my personal life i need them to not hate me' post #more like. a heads up. and a thank you! :) genuinely. u guys are nice and this blog really is a bright spot in my day most of the time

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sanstropfremir · 1 year

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TOHO SPIRITED AWAY?? PLS GIVE ME THE DEETS

oh it was soooooooooo good i'm so happy i got a chance to see it!!! gorgeous design all around, there was no standout elements bc everything fit so well together. all the spirits + magical elements were done with traditional (japanese and western) style puppetry, so everything was articulated and manipulated by an operator, which had this really wonderful almost youth theatre vibe. a lot of times with shows that involve puppets, they'll try to make the puppets as advanced as possible to not make them 'childish' (see: war horse), but for something that's based heavily in folklore and IS a children's story, to me the only logical sense is to emphasize that particular angle. the puppets were also incredible, very well made and sooo accurate to the movie??? like impressively accurate. my faves were probably kamaji and haku? kamaji's six extra arms were each operated by a separate person who had one hand operating the elbow and one hand as the actual hand, so all eight hands were able to do everything, which mean there was some REALLY incredible choreography of just. all the stuff that he was doing, but also when he got up and walked it was soooooooo cool. and haku!!! he had two puppets actually, one 'full size' that was a big long foam articulated body that took i think four puppeteers, and there was a tiny haku that they used for the flying scenes that was basically just a little head and a ....idk what the actual technical term is but it was basically just a wind sock as the body on a big long pole so the puppeteer could essentially move him like you would a big ribbon! the scene were he first transforms and flies off was sooo pretty, the actor haku did a lil setup to a GORGEOUS spinning jump and when he landed he ducked down behind some of the chorus members and as he disappeared the tiny ribbon haku shot up from the same spot and started looping around.......... actual magic. also wow the actor playing haku was so pretty. and very tall. which i did not notice until the very end. i would not be suprised if he had ballet training bc tall and he had the ballet dancer chin/head posture. also the actor playing lin (also doublecast as chihiro's mom) was crazy hot. just so unbelievably hot. anyways. speaking of casting: noface as a popping dancer. UNREAL and incredible galaxy brained choice. he had a solo while they did a set change and WOW. spooky and gorgeous and also weirdly welcoming? really excellent job of embodying a sympathetic physicality that made it understandable why chihiro would let him in to the bath house in the first place. also for the curtain call he put the mask on the back of his head and literally did the bows backwards. insane. my ONLY complaint is that i didn't love noface's giant form, but that's mostly because years and years ago i saw a (different) puppet show with a grim reaper character that was very similar to giant noface (the telescoping neck + large body) and i literally thought at the time 'if you were going to do puppet noface that is exactly how you should do it', so 1) expectations 2) i'm pretty sure that version was done using quite a sophisticated extending mechanism, which would be antithetical to the rest of the puppets in the show, and 3) this giant noface was VERY big (probably at least 10-15 feet across? he was at least eight puppeteers with the original actor as the mask) so the logistics would not have worked. regardless. it is a very small complaint that literally no one else would have had unless they had seen the same show that i did in like. 2015. costumes were all unreal, the set was phenomenal; it actually took me WELL over an hour to figure out that the set literally stayed the same the entire time, it was just being rotated (it was on a turntable) and redressed + had a couple balconies flown in. also live orchestra?? in the set??????? i didnt even know they were THERE they had them behind a scrim on an upper level platform in the back and they pulled it up for curtain call and there was like. 15 ppl sitting back there????

ok but if i had to pick ONE thing that was my favourite, it would be that ALL the living things were played by someone alive. i know that sounds obvious, especialy for like. the dancing vases and the frog and the soot sprites, but even the PLANTS were puppets in their own way. like the hydrangea bushes that chihiro hides in at the beginning and the flower field that she and haku run through were done with chorus members wearing these beautiful flower head/chest/arm pieces. even the stone guardians at the tunnel at the beginning of the play were actors. it really underscored the magic of everything to have all the life be actually alive.

#OH MY GOD AND THE TRAIN!!! IT WAS A LITTLE MODEL TRAIN THAT RAN AROUND THE EDGE OF THE STAGE!!! IT HAD A LITTLE HEADLIGHT AND EVERYTHING!!!#it was sooooo cute and charming unfortunately i am a dad and i love model trains........#like it really was just so good. such a fun theatrical experience #omg and the river spirit scene!!!!!!!! soooooo good and you could FEEL the catharsis of pulling out the fishing line and the CELEBRATION #there was also a TON of crazy slight of hand and little tricks that i did not even know how they did most of the time #like the turning the gold into dirt? i literally blinked and it happened. i have NO idea how they did that #just such beautiful craftsmanship and CARE that went into it. a real dedication to making something beautiful #i think there's another screening happening with the alternate cast on the 27th so if you have a chance you really should go see it!!#text #answers #non kpop questions #spirited away: live on stage #this is not meant as a dig on joey from war horse btw he is AMAZING #the technical achievements of modern puppetry is unreal. but there's something really satisfying about the basics #this is so garbled sldkfjlksdjf this is what you get from me after i see something i love its just word vomit

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cherrirui-official · 6 months

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Still not over the fact that they added Adventurer Cookie in the Golden Cheese update, infantilized him, used him for shipping fanservice and then killed him

#look at how they massacred my boy #HE WASNT EVEN IN SOME OF THE GAMEPLAY CUTSCENES LIKE???? HELP #just say u hate him devsis say it #I return to the game and this is the thanks i get?#they spat in my mouth AND HIS MOUTH TOO #ALSO THEY LITERALLY STARTED THE EPISODE WITH ADDIE HAVING A DREAM ABT GC LIKE WHERE DID THAT GO??? HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING COME BACK HE-#and what happened to his voice?? he sounds... weirder now. like especially with the last line he had in the story he sounded drunk #not shitting on the va whatsoever they were just working with what they were given by the devs #devsis if u dont like him you can just... give him to me ahaha please please ple- /j #sorry abt the word vomit i may not be into cookie run as much as i used to but i am still very passionate abt adventurer cookie u can tell #nuls nonsense #im not mad just disappointed #not putting this in the main tag bc like... scary...#and its just me rambling u dont wanna hear that

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pix-writes · 1 year

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tlou meta: the watch

SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD (look away now if you don’t want the game/tv show spoiled)

Here’s the thing that has insterested me since I finished the tlou game like 10 odd yrs ago & with the show making sure the watch is a recurring ‘theme’ on screen:

Throughout the game (and through the show so far), we are reminded frequently of how Joel has done some terrible shit to survive, has fucked over innocent people in the name of survival.

But the thing about his watch is, is that it is a symbol of his humanity. Not just of what grief he’s been put through, or of survivor’s guilt. Because his watch is what he looks to when he is in situations with Ellie, where he ultimately decides to keep going, to keep protecting her. It reminds him of Sarah, of course, but thematically it holds so much more weight than just a reminder of what he lost. It’s a reminder of what he used to be (a father).

I could go on about why this is (though honestly i’m too tired/wired to think it out coherently) but the main, interesting part of this train of thought is that if the watch is a symbol for Joel’s ties to being human, of making the ‘right’ decisions (to protect Ellie), is that Joel has NEVER taken the watch off!

#tlou spoilers #tlou meta #tlou hbo spoilers #sarah miller #joel and ellie #joel miller #joel's watch #i have adhd forgive me of the word vomit format #i just think thematically that that's what it is i have done since the game #but he literally never takes off that watch #like he can't take it off #sarah's death breaks him but yet he keeps something on him that constantly reminds him of her #of the worst most painful day in his life #why?#because he does hold onto some of his humanity he isn't lost #he likes to think he is but really deep down he cares for people #for his family #<3 #he keeps going because of sarah in some way idk how but he does he has hope but its just a flicker

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asheneclipse · 5 months

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more word vomit

Literally the only way I know how to help you is to encourage you to throw shit out. (Or to throw it out myself. Which would cause issues.) Stop buying stuff. If you aren't selling your gift baskets at your friends shop, and you aren't willing to look into other places to sell them, then you do not need to keep a collection of gift basket items. We have no place to PUT it.

I know, part of it is your grief. But I can't help you with that. I can't help you move past that hurt - that is work you have to do. I can buy you books about grief and healing, I can encourage you to go to therapy (you so desperately need therapy), I can listen to your sadness. But I can't solve this for you.

You get upset that the kitchen counter and dinging room table is covered with your junk. You tell me - at the end of a weekend, at 6 on a Sunday - that you wanted help with cleaning the counter this weekend. I knew nothing about this; you did not tell me that was even on your radar before now. How can I even start to help when I don't know you want help in the first place? And I can't do it without you - my brain and your brain function so differently that I would not even be able to arrange things in a way that made sense to you. Having been told my whole life to not move your stuff, its not like I can just do that now. And again, there's the whole literally-no-place-to-put-it things.

Not only that, I look at it and I see... junk. Junk that should go into the trash even though I know it is literally NOT junk and could be made into cute gift baskets. But at this point its such visual noise that all it is is trash.

And you are feeling so discouraged that your gift baskets aren't selling, and you are still so stuck in your grief, and so I try to bite my tongue. You say 'oh I feel like shit' and I ask if you've eaten, and it's three pm and you have maybe (hopefully!) had a couple pieces of toast. But you 'aren't hungry' and 'are gaining weight' and it can't possibly the amount of coffee you are drinking because you are tired. (Coffee helps suppress appetite. You also might be less tired if you ate. Your sleep might still be shit, but you might not be so tired.)

#ashen rambles #word vomit #i don't even know what to do in this situation #and with work stuff taking up my mind my mental capacity to help with this is like zero #and its difficult because I know mom is just feeling like shit #both mentally and physically #but I don't know that I can help her #literally at the point that its 'throw the whole thing away'#which tbh is how I clean my room sometimes when I do a deep deep clean #have I used it? no? not for three years? TRASH #I need NOTHING

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donttouchtheneednoggle · 2 years

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head hurty

#not any more like that but last night #love having a pain condition triggered partly by anxiety but also it caused the anxiety to be constant in the first place #i dont get chronic migraines bc i dont get them often enough its usually like 1 every 2 months nowadays but sometimes it can be 4 in a week #bc having one makes it more likely i have a another soon after #but i sure as fuck have acute migraines #i remember being in school and classmates being like oh i have a migraine going off to take their meds and then coming back to class?!#whereas as soon as i had an aura id go to the office and be like can you call my mum she needs to take me home #and i thought i was just being weak and i should just push through it #but you can't push through acute pain nausea vomiting and disorientation #there are literally parts of my brain or thoughts i can't access during one ill be trying to think of a word and i can't find it #they usually only last like 2-3 hours but it feels like a lot longer when you're sitting in the dark can't even lie down feeling like hell #and ik some peoples go on for days some people have them more days than they dont ik im lucky to have such short and fairly infrequent ones #but its still beyond horrible and feeling like a ticking time bomb constantly watching out for an aura #and worrying about going somewhere you can't easily get home from #and I've only just started to be able to talk about it i could never understand how other people could talk about theirs flippantly #when mine terrified me more than anything the amount of bad feelings #but she's working on it having realised after 8 years that it doesn't have to be like that 🤣#mine #n e way sorry for the rsnt all good now chillin in bed ✌🤣

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waterrtribe · 2 years

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i keep trying to imagine what the smallville writers room was like and what they were thinking when it came to certain decisions, particularly lana's character arc.

(this is long im so sorry i dont know where it all came from)

so okay. they're writing this show about superman's origins, and they're plotting out where the characters will end up, and since it's technically a prequel, they already know how each main character's story is going to end: clark will become superman, lex will become his nemesis, and lana is going to be his ex-girlfriend.

they clearly wrote clark and lex's relationship with the intention of reaching those endings. they knew and we knew that clark and lex would eventually fall out and lex would become a villain. they foreshadowed it constantly, even as early as season 1. and with each new season they showed clark and lex's relationship deteriorate and lex's character regress just a little bit more. sure, there was a little back and forth here and there where they tried to repair their friendship but overall, it was a pretty steady decline. there was never truly a question of whether lex could turn himself around, even if we wanted him to. especially after first two or three seasons, that became pretty clear. it seemed like the writers knew that they were writing a tragedy when it came to clark and lex (there were so many references to julius caesar and hamlet and other classic tragedies lmao).

i think that's why i liked it so much - the tragedy of it all, where you find yourself hoping for a different ending despite knowing that ultimately it will end badly, is what makes it so compelling to watch. it's effective because they make you hope for a happy ending before taking it away.

so what i don't get is, why did they drag out clark and lana's relationship and frame them with the Will They, Won't They trope, when they know and we know that They Won't? why didn't they instead let their relationship reach its natural conclusion and let lana's character grow and progress past their terrible relationship? why didn't they approach this story as a tragedy in the same way they approached clark's other major relationship on the show (outside of the one with his parents) -- his relationship with lex?

like their constant back and forth was already annoying to watch, but even more so when you know that they're ultimately going to break up and none of it will really matter. they Could have made it matter to us emotionally by writing an actual compelling romance that we would be sad to see end like they did with clark and lex's friendship, but they didn't. when they finally end things eight (!!! kill me!!!) whole seasons in, i didn't feel any sadness or loss, i just felt so relieved (especially because those episodes in season 8 were just so bad overall lmao). i just thought, oh finally. thank god.

it's just that part of the reason the writing of lana's character is so frustrating to me is because there were so many places to take it, since they basically put No effort into developing her as an individual, (and i personally believed she was headed to a darker place character-wise and i have a whole story idea for how it could've happened but i'm already rambling too much), but i could never see what little potential she had actually lead Anywhere because they kept dragging her back to the same terrible relationship repeatedly and there was never any satisfying conclusion for her and i just find that so Aggravating

anyway, considering that she's like the third main character on the show, i just think they did her a huge disservice

#smallville #dctv #this got so long omg i didn't mean for it to #if anyone actually reads this i apologize because i didn't proofread at all #i just love analyzing tv writing and have no place to put this word vomit lol #and i have literally not been able to stop thinking about this show for like a year #and one of the main things i haven't been able to stop thinking about is lana's character and how terribly written it was #like obviously the writing for all of the characters and the show overall had a lot of flaws #but lana just stood out to me the most because shes a main character for so long #and i spent the first like 8 seasons of the show perpetually irritated and most of the time it was because of her #and chloe lmao but that's just because i hate chloe #i dont hate lana exactly its more like. i hate that they never give her a chance for me to like her lol #i even thought up this Entire arc for lana that could've been so much better becuase i haven't been able to stop thinking #about how bad her arc is lmao #actually i have this whole other rant about how she's just another in a long list of examples #of how men need to get better at writing women in science fiction/superhero fiction #there's this essay i found on how women are written in science fiction that immediately made me think of her #but anyway this post is already so long its embarrassing #truly humiliating to be writing such a long post about a show that ended like a decade ago

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