#its just frickin fried at this point

[joshbruh10x]

Them

Also them

Please send help 👍

#joshblogs #montgomery gator #glamrock bonnie #gatorbun #monty x bonnie #bonnie x monty #yeah i have no idea anymore #these are just shitposts bc im bored and have a strong gatorbun thingy going on rn #funni #my brain can't take it anymore im gonna sob #its just frickin fried at this point

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 25:

"You're not delivering a perfect body to the grave."

Storm | buried alive | "they're not breathing!"

Fandom: mha

Prompts used: All

Alright so I know I always put Denki is storm situations, its tradition at this point. But this ones slightly different! Anywho the thing at the end that seems random- I'm rewatching Danny Phantom so its a reference to a character in that. So yeah :){

TW for Temporary character death, Avalanches, Injuries

…

The snowy mountain was beautiful, if not freezing frickin cold. Sero huddles closer to the fire, closer to his friends' sides, because he was not made for cold thank you. Though from everyone's shivering, he thinks none of them were, even Kirishima had bundled up this time round.

It was supposedly a training retreat, though it was turning more into a vacation. Their teachers had a schedule, but as soon as they'd arrived, Denki had twitched. They'd long since learned what Denkis fidgets meant, and that twitch indicated too much charge in the air.

A storm was brewing.

Of course, the roads were already a mess, they'd hunkered down as the Pro's called for back up, Denki wrapped in an insulated blanket, as they simply waited. It had been calm, shivering around the fire as they had been. Peaceful almost.

As is their life however, an attack is always imminent. One moment they're huddled around the fire, the next, they've been split off from their classmates and are running for their lives. One wrong move could have an avalanche or slippery slope, or any number of bad things.

"Just one trip!" Sero calls, chest heaving puffs of white fog.

"I don't think they are up for a chat about scheduling their attacks, Sero." Mina calls in return, the best of their group with the slippery terrain.

"Unless the next words out of your idiot mouths are helpful to our situation, shut up!" Bakugo's yell is far quieter than usual, eyes on the snowy mountain peaks above them.

"Yeah, You're not delivering a perfect body to the grave!" Denki adds, a smirk in his voice despite the trembling undertone, his hair sticking up with static.

"Lame Kami!" Mina boos, teasing quality lacing it.

"I was talking about Kirishima." With an added tongue sticking out, Denki has the three laughing, Bakugo only deigning a rolled eye- which was basically a laugh!

Their fun is halted as Denki does a full body shiver, arms jerking as sparks dance along his skin before he reigns them in.

"Storms coming in fast!" He warns, the villains- floating on some weird holographic disk above them, fling another flurry of green blasts at them.

"I don't think they care, Denki!" Sero dodges to the left to move the blond as well, narrowly missing getting fried.

The sky and mountain seem to rumble as one, the villains cackle as a wave of white begins its tumble down the mountain.

"Shit."

Bakugo blasts a dent into the powder they stand on, they roll into the alcove moments before the avalanche, they lose sight of each other and everything else as white and darkness descend on them.

Panic hits first.

They're alone, the alcove apparently being big enough for them to be divided.

There's frantic digging, only accomplishing the packing of the snow to give them a little space, but any further and more snow falls through the hole. There's feet of snow on top of them, and more coming as the storm lies overhead.

"H-hello!?" Minas voice is faint, there's a tremble to it, fear settling deep in her gut.

The others' voices rise to meet hers one by one, Kirishima, Sero, and Bakugo, with varying levels of their own panic. Bakugo would sound angry to anyone who didnt know him, but in the cold where sweat was near nigh, and in an enclosed space to boot, well they were all freaking out.

Denki listens for only a moment, he carefully sets his own panic aside, something large and heavy was weighing on his legs keeping him pinned, he had barely been able to carve a space for his head. With a trembling hand, he reached up to his head piece, he had to hope that the excess amount of charge he'd built up while they waited would be enough to fuel this thing until help arrived.

There's static for a moment, then voices cutting in and out, he doesn't put in the energy to listen, carefully spaces his words as he relays their situation. He keeps the flow of electricity steady as he finally calls out to his friends.

"Well I suppose this will have to be our snow fort for now."

It falls short, even for him, but he keeps the tremble from his voice and hears his friends' panicked rambling cut off.

"I feel like we're in Brother Bear 2." He adds when he gets no response, "the one with the little baby raccoon? Anyway, they are on a mountain at some point and shit goes down, but they make it out okay, bonded stronger and everything. Could go for some smores though, I don't really do roots…" he trails off, wracking his brain for something else to talk about.

"Denki. We've literally been buried alive, and you're thinking about Disney and food??" Sero sounds incredulous even through the dense snow.

"What else am I gonna talk about? The weather? Sports??? Have you met me? I could be singing right now but I'm sparing myself the headache that will come from your yelling, you should be thanking me!" Denki winces as the thing on him shifts, he grits his teeth to hold off the shout of pain.

"I like Brother Bear… Kenai was so manly." Kirishima sounds signifigantly calmer, and Denki thanks whoever doesn't hate him up there.

"If a fuckin bear finds us, we'll have other things to worry about."

Denki would never say it aloud, but hearing the Bakugo Katsuki sound petulant was still so astounding to him. He was honestly honored to be one of the few to hear it. And he would definitely take it over his panicked breathing any day.

"~Tell everybody I'm on my way…~" Minas soft voice fills the space, and one by one they join, singing a bit louder to cover Bakugo's voice lest he drop out of the bonding moment.

Denki tries to keep talking, to keep them all grounded, but his lungs refuse to feel full. He has his hands pressed into his arm pits, most of his focus is on keeping the charge going to the headpiece, he wonders idly if his dwindling shivers are a bad thing.

"Denki… does your comm work?" One of them- he can't tell which- asks. The first person to mention the device.

"Ye… bad signal… but they should be… coming." He has to take too many breaths to complete the sentence.

"Are you okay?"

"F…fine. Just… cold." He'd lost feeling to his toes at some point, the fingers that weren't numb before this trip have gone stiff, despite his best efforts to keep them warm.

His body tingles, his quirk is being weird in the poor conduction known as snow. He's surprised a signal got through at all, especially since air seems to escape him.

"Hang in there Denks, try and move around, motion will create friction!" Sero tells him helpfully.

Denki would love to move, if he was able.

"R-right. T-thanks." He falls quiet again, the others murmurs surround him and he finds his eyes slipping closed.

The body will automatically try to shut down to conserve or protect itself…

Hm he wonders if he got that from a book…

"Denki?" Kirishima's voice shakes, they'd had no response for a while now. Bakugo had started digging, in the vague direction they assumed he was in, but with so much snow piled on top of them, he was only succeeding in making his hands cold- despite the special gloves he wore.

"fuCK!" Bakugos frustration is palpable, they were sure the mountain would be rubble by now had he been able to sweat.

Mina's acid had only dropped the temperature of her little hole, the single drop had been enough to convince her to stop, she had just gotten her shivers back to a milder teeth chattering.

Sero felt useless with his tape, he had taped the gaps of his winter gear to trap as much heat as he could, but with no way to do the same for his friends, and no way to use it in an escape, he felt a loathing that burned in his gut.

Kirishima was glad for the gear he'd been convinced- re; forced- to wear. He'd be a popsicle by now otherwise. He wanted nothing more than to pound through this snow, but the dangerous rumbles of the weight on top of them kept him still. He was tempted to test it anyway with Denkis lack of response though.

As they all debate doing just that, a brief heat warms their heads.

"Did… you guys feel that?" Sero calls, anxiously wondering if this is how death starts.

"Yeah… so unless we're all dying-"

"Someone's above us, using fire!"

They let it sink in for half a second, before they're shouting with what little energy they have. The heat comes again, water drips on them as snow melts above, but they could care less as finally light peeks into their dugouts.

When they have freedom to move, they dig, towards the space they know has to be Denki's, fervent movements stiff but quick as they look for blond.

"Here!!!" There's a shrillness to Minas voice, her digging taking on a gentler motion.

They convene, digging-

Hands hit something solid.

Mina uncovers his face, they find his torso, a rock- a boulder- lays on top of his legs.

Despite that, his face is rather serene, tinged blue, his arms crossed over his chest-

"He's not breathing!"

Todoroki has hopped into the hold, Aizawa behind him only a couple paces. They move into action, Aizawa barking orders to get the teen freed, for Todoroki to warm him as slowly as possible, to start chest compressions.

They thank their hero training, as they fall into auto pilot, a blankness hitting them as they simply do as told- because if they lose h… if Denki doesn't… he has to be fine.

He has to be-

Several agonizing minutes.

A spark that shocks everyone touching him, a gasp,

"'Hills like White Elephants'!" The hoarse call startles them, barely a voice at all, but so Denki it hurts.

He was okay.

#whumptober 2023 #no.25 #“you're not delivering a perfect body to the grave!” #lyric #storm #buried alive #“they're not breathing!” #my hero academia #fic #temporary character death #avalanche #injuries #angst #denki angst #bakusquad #mina angst #sero angst #kirishima angst #bakugou angst

[incorrect-lotr-trash]

Did you feel like the movies did Eowyn dirty compared to the books?

Hello 💝 & Thank you so much for this super interesting question!! I wanted to spend a few days thinking over this question before answering - hence the reply now (my apologies for the wait!)

Just as a wee disclaimer - These are just my opinions and everyone is absolutely allowed to disagree with me! There is no right or wrong answer, and I totally respect everyone's own views on this question/topic! The first thing I'd say is if you were to look at Eowyn purely from the movie perspective, she is fantastic. I watched the movies long before I read the books (took me a lot of courage to read the books - I'd heard they could be tough) but just from the movies Eowyn made such a strong impression on me, and I think most would agree on that point. Like all the women in Tolkien's work - she was self-defining and unshakable in her strength and courage. So often you see the heroines needing to 'prove themselves to OTHERS' but in Eowyn's case, its much more she needs to prove herself to HERSELF. The men around her do not doubt her strong heart, or her physical strength (even if its traditional for the men to fight and she is forced to stay behind). She is held in high regard amongst her people and doesn't need any sort of reassuring from those around her of what she is capable of - the only person who doubts her is HER. That whole thing of feeling like you need to prove something to be worthy in your own eyes hits home for me, and I'm guessing for others too. We all want to do something meaningful with our lives, and for Eowyn - she learns that meaning doesn't have to come from 'heroic' acts (even tho she frickin' SLAYS the Nazgul!). She instead comes to understand that meaning in life can be found all around you & should be defined on your own terms. I hope I'm making sense with that point!

Now addressing Book!Eowyn vs Movie!Eowyn - Book!Eowyn comes out stronger, in my opinion. Firstly, she takes no bullshit from anyone. You still get the whole 'She is a woman confined to the place a man puts her in' & her wanting to go to war to fight with the men but being told she can't because she is a woman. But for me, the movie really misses out on quite a few key points of Eowyn. Like when she shuts Aragorn down for being sexist. You gotta first remember that Book!Aragorn is totally different from Movie!Aragorn and honestly can be quite arrogant, thus when he tells her she can't come with him to fight he basically says its because she is a woman and as a woman its her duty to stay home and care for the sick etc. (I forget the exact words folks pls don't shoot me - my brain is fried). She calls him out on it - no hesitation, no worrying that she might upset this 'Heir of Gondor'. Nah, she straight up tells him how awful his opinions are and WHY they're awful. Aragorn is one of the good guys and she is showing up his terrible morals - demonstrating that 'heros' are not all perfect beings that we expect them to be!!

Secondly, HER SPEECH WAS BETTER IN THE BOOKS. Okay sure the 'I am no man' was badass and a fantastic line. But she has a WHOLE DANG SPEECH in the book which was just reduced to that line. I can't remember the speech which granted doesn't make my argument very good, but she declared WHO she was and showed NO FEAR in front of this Nazgul that terrified even great wizards like Gandalf! It always kind of annoyed me that in the movie after killing THE NAZGUL she is scrambling around on the ground with tears on her face clearly panicking. Yeah that's a normal reaction, but in the books she faced down that Nazgul without so much as a shudder and then that was it. I can't remember if Tolkien wrote what happened straight after (its a lil fuzzy) but she wasn't crawling around on the ground. Its like... why give her this big bold line and moment at all if 2 seconds later you're gonna have her reacting like that. It kinda contradicts the strength and courage she just displayed.

Lastly, FARAMIR & EOWYN'S RELATIONSHIP DID NOT GET THE JUSTICE IT DESERVED. Fun Fact: If you have only ever seen the theatrical LOTR - You don't even know that they two end up together. Its completely cut out. The only scene you see them in is right at the end just clapping for Aragorn. Thats it. In the book their love is so beautiful. Its this gently building love and affection that Eowyn has to slowly come around to - and Faramir is so respectful in giving her the space and time to process where she is at with her heart. Its very disappointing that we get so little of them together in the film.

I love the way Tolkien has written his female characters. So often I've found that the 'heroines' in stories are constrained in some way or another - eg. they're sidekicks, they do something cool once, they only have 1 layer of depth to their character, they're just there are the token 'female' fighter etc. With Tolkien, he gives Eowyn this huge story arc and builds up every side of her. She is self-defining in her own right and is not just a 'side-piece' to be fluttered over.

SO THATS MY THOUGHTS. Again, people are totally allowed to disagree with them all! & Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I really did enjoy this question and wanted to make sure I'd thought over it for a bit before replying. Also, sidenote, I love your URL. Kaz is AMAZING. (I'm working on a 'The Crows' edit right now eheheee)

I hope you are doing well!! What are your thoughts?

#asks #thank you so much for this i really enjoyed answering it!!!!! #eowyn #bless you

[brideofcthulhu10]

More headcanons to help me work through the dreaded writer's block! Hope you guys don't mind it's a bit slow right now, I plan on posting another tonight and hopefully I'll be able to get to some asks once my brain is no longer fried

Dwayne Headcanons

When he was responsible for Laddie, Dwayne would often take him out to the boardwalk whenever Star was busy. Sometimes he’d even choose to take him along even if they were with Star just to hang with the munchkin

If anyone told him he was too short Dwayne would hypnotize them into letting him one. He wasn't exactly worried about the kid being flung from the roller coaster, he could easily catch him if it happened. It felt awesome impressing him at the strength test, just watching him jump up and down as the attendant handed him a giant blue monkey which of course he'd give to Laddie. The boy was such a hyper, sunny child it was hard not to laugh when this spritely eight year old would play a water gun game and yell “this is a load of bullshit” when he lost. Well, he did grow up around four teenage guys, two having the worst language you could imagine. David used the word "fuck" like it was going out of style. At one point some lady in her thirties tried to lecture Laddie about watching his language, to which Dwayne had immediately stepped in after he said “piss off lady”. Again he had to choke back a laugh, pushing the kid behind him before this lady throttled him. To save face Dwayne feigned some half assed “shame on you” to Laddie just so she would piss off, and then ushered him away- for an ice cream sundae. Granted while he couldn’t condone a kid cussing up a storm, he did find it utterly hilarious watching this uppity chick squawk like a hen in outrage.

“Seriously though I don’t know where the hell you learned all that from-”

“Paul taught me.”

“Yeah, well, Paul probably isn’t the best guy to copy, kiddo. "

Chinese food isn’t his favorite, but he knows it’s Markos so he doesn’t complain when they have it at least once a week. Actually, his favorite is probably Hispanic. Many forget much of California was once Mexico, and as such the culture still thrived even into the early 1900s. Santa Carla flourished, and between pick pocketing gigs and heavy labor on the docks, Dwayne could always count on there being fresh tortillas for a few dollars after a long day. Elotes with extra chili powder, huarache, freshly brewed horchata on ice? Utterly delicious! Nothing can compare to freshly made tamales by a sweet abuela in a tiny food truck cooing to you in Spanish. Even he can blush when they pinch his cheeks gushing about what a skinny man he is. Paul and Marko love it as well and will often tag along when Dwayne goes to Mama Rosa’s, although he often has to elbow Paul in the gut because he’ll flirt with the cooks in the back into getting a free taco.

“Ay, Paul, mi angelito querido cielito, you’re skin and bones!”

“Well, I always skip a meal before coming here, abuela. Your cooking is too epic to have anything else in my stomach!”

“Dude, will you stop flirting with that poor woman before you give her a heart attack, you ass?”

Dwayne had a brother many years ago who was lost after being caught in direct sunlight during the great San Francisco earthquake of 1906. Since then on April 18th he holds a small memorial for his brother Jasper, who died pulling the curtains shut to shield them from the sun. Some years David, Paul and Marko will join him, silently drinking to their fallen friend. It's a rare moment of seriousness for these wild boys, sitting beside an altar crudely constructed atop a wooden crate, draped over with the jacket once worn by Jasper that survived the flames. Decorated in worn candles melted by decades of use, a bottle of rum from over eighty years ago still untouched with an empty shot glass beside it caked in dust and cobwebs, worn flowers shriveled into darkened husks, a glass of blood they keep freshly filled with each visit, feathers of birds to help carry him to the sky. Every time he adds something new, a gift from every era. Recently he brought Jasper a Def Leppard vinyl record, propped against a sketch of his brother drawn before his passing by an admirer who had died long ago. Paul left a little toy motorcycle for him, Marko brought an old pocket watch he found at an antique store that bore a striking resemblance to one he had admired long ago, and David brought him a hunting knife

“You would’ve loved hair bands, Jas. Everything’s changed now, its crazy. It sucks you never got a bike of your own,” Dwayne would say, sitting in the dark with only the tender flicker of candles brushing away the dark. Never again would he let the sun take him. It was the darkest, deepest cave in the hotel. And there, Dwayne spoke more than he ever does outside “Horses were cool, but it’s better to have something that doesn’t stop every time it takes a shit, you know?”

Unfortunately Dwayne sucks at video games. It’s not that he doesn’t get it, but he has the worst gamer rage. Now, Dwayne doesn’t often get legitimately mad, but when he’s been playing the same god damn stupid water level for the past hour and a half just to be killed by a squid-! Well, lets just say Paul practically dove to catch the controller before it was chucked at the tv, and cue a dirty look towards Dwayne for nearly smashing his “baby”. He wasn’t about to have him break ANOTHER controller. Yeah that wasn’t the first. At this point he’s content just watching from afar and sometimes back seat gaming when Marko is going the wrong way. He’s not nearly as bad as David who will openly call someone stupid after dying. 

Dwayne is definitely the type to nap after a long night. Truthfully he misses when he could just lay out in the sun like a lizard on a hot rock after a long day, it’d feel incredible. Instead he’s resorted to a hot water bottle or a heating pad. Yeah, he loves hot weather. Summertime is his favorite time, just savoring the toasted air blowing in his face on rides over the beaches. Sometimes he’ll try to wake up early to watch the sunset from within the cave, although it’s burnt him on more than one occasion he will still try to get a glimpse. Winter is the worst for him, he hates, absolutely despises the cold. Even though he doesn't technically get cold anymore, everything seems to die away in the winter leaving only twisted branches and grey skies. David may enjoy all that gloomy melancholy but not him.

One wouldn’t assume Dwayne to have much of a sweet tooth. That’s because they’re wrong. While he isn’t into the marshmallow caramel double candy bars deep fried and dipped in chocolate like Marko or Laddie, he has a serious weakness for chocolate. Like, a major weakness. Paul is still searching for his stash, tucked away somewhere secret in the hotel. Any time he thinks he’s close to finding it, Dwayne moves it again.

“Dude, sharing is fucking caring you greedy bastard”

“Get your own candy asshole, why do you think I keep my stash hidden from you guys?”

Now the whole hoity toity fancy chocolate isn’t what appeals to him. He can certainly appreciate a well made chunk of dark chocolate sprinkled with chili powder, but he’ll settle for a cheap bar snatched from a gas station. Most sweets weigh heavy on him, but chocolate is such a unique medium that can be changed into almost anything, appealing to every taste imaginable. Sweet, savory, spicy, bitter, semi-sweet, rich, dense, light. Chocolate cake, chocolate doughnut, hot chocolate, fudge, and of course the traditional candy bar. You make him a mug of Mexican hot chocolate and he is putty in your hands. You couldn’t necessarily bribe him with food. But you could certainly butter him up to suggestions when he’s crunching down on a candy bar. Paul knows this, and at this point Dwayne knows this guy has royally fucked up if he comes up to him with a stack of chocolate bars.

“Heeeeey, Dwayne, buddy, old pal, chum, lookie what I found, all for you man how cool is that?”

“....,” Dwayne glances up from his book at the handful of chocolate and slowly lowers it with a firm sigh. “What the hell did you do now?”

“Wha-Whaaa-? Oh! Okay, wow. Woooow. Offend much? I go out of my way- I mean, can’t a guy just, you know, do something nice for his best friend-?”

“Paul. What. did. you. do?”  

“Okay okay, well you see David made me go fill up his stupid bike, and there was this hot chick at the gas station, I mean perfect fuckin ten man, she had the biggest frickin tits- okay anyway! Well, next thing I know the keys are gone, the chick's gone, the fuckin bike- You gotta help me man he’s gonna fucking kill me and dance on my grave!”

Of course Dwayne will help… in exchange for twice the chocolate. Like I said, it won’t always work as a bribe, but it’ll certainly help your cause if you go in with some incentive.

#lost boys 1987 #lost boys imagine #the lost boys #lost boys fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction writing #lost boys #fanfic #80s movies #lost boys dwayne #billy wirth #lost boys vampires #lost boys laddie #vampire fluff #fluff imagine #fluff #lost boys head canon #headcanon

[jungshookz]

You know what would be great???? Culinary student! Jin and a hopeless y/n who eats ramen out of coffee pots and eats cool whip straight out of the can. Also ily and I hope you know that

→ pairing: kim seokjin x reader

→ genre: what a surprise it’s bratty!y/n, culinarystudent!jin and his fancy pasta, humour, a touch of nsfw because i’m obsessed with jin’s broAd shoulders it’s almost ridiculous

→ wordcount: 3.4k

→ note: i hope i did ur request justice also i love u more :~)))

(gif isn’t mine!) ((also i was going to use a gif of him actually cooking but tumblr refusEd to accept it so i’m sorry)) 

listen

being completely honest

jin thinks you’re really cute

like SUPER cute

like he’s really REALLy frickin attracted to you because you’re just so??? yOU and somehow it works and it gets his gears GRINDING okay

you were the one who moved in right next door and you greeted him with a friendly smile and a ‘here, i baked cookies!’ and of course he accepted the cookie because he’s not a complete monster

but good GOD

that cookie was awful

and to be fair he’s a culinary student so it makes sense that he has high standards but even a fOOL would know that your cookies were god-awful

before you got the chance to distribute your nasty cookies out to the rest of the people on your floor jin was like hEY hEY how about you give me.,.,,. all of your cookies,.,.. because i,.,. really like them.,.,., and.,., i want to eat.,.,. all of them.,., thank u., yes,.

anyways

you’ve known each other for almost eight months?

and nothing has happened because let’s be real

you’re both wussies

and no one’s admitting anything to anyone so you’re kind of in this flirty-friendly space and you’re both FULLY aware that there’s like.,.,. a sprinkle of flirting going on.,,

but you know what

that’s beside the point

he doesn’t even know why he’s thinking about his undeniable crusH on you

because right now all jin can focus on is the fact that you’re eating ramen out of a coffee pot

let him repeat himself

you’re eating ramen

out of a

a COFFEE pot

you’re in the middle of rambling to him about your day and he’s trying to pay attention to what you’re saying but he wants to scream every time to pause to sluRP out of the coffee pot

laundry room gossip is a pretty normal thing for you two

you’re both so busy during the day

you with your classes and jin with his culinary classes

so once or twice a week you’ll both coordinate a time to come down and do your laundry together (you guys usually shove all your clothes in together because u end up saving some $$ too) and you’ll both end up sitting there for a couple hours just talking to each other while waiting for your clothes

jin raises a brow before pressing his lips together

his mother raised him not to be judgemental but COME ON

RAMEN

out of a COFEE POT??????

out of all the things he’s seen you done this has to be the absolute worst

here are a couple of examples as to what monstrosities you’ve exposed him to:

a cold pizza sandwich (two slices of cold pizza with a drizzle of ranch and crunched up cheetos as the filling)

cereal eaten out of the baG ITSELF (u poured the milk in and everything)

chicken pancakes?? aka shredded deep fried chicken and shredded cheese mixed inTO pancake batter and panfried and then topped with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkle of green onions

one time you made scrambled eggs in a mug and dat shit looked nasty

but this

this doesn’t even make sense

disrespecting what looks like a pretty high-quality coffee pot (he remembers you got it for christmas or something) by using it as a holder for $1 ramen

it’s probably going to stink up the coffee pot and every time you make coffee it’s always going to have that faint aftertaste of chicken broth

a shudder goes down his spine and he winces

you perk up when the drying machine suddenly beeps and stops rumbling “god finaLLy”

jin keeps his eyes glued on the damn coffee pot as you set it down next to your basket and go to retrieve your freshly-dried clothes

you bend down and pop open the dryer and the loud hiss makes jin look over

“jin?” he glances away quickly and looks up at the ceiling as a poor attempt to conceal the fact that he was totally just checking u out just now

“hm, what?” he clears his throat

“aren’t you going to come and get your clothes?”

“oh, right.” jin pushes himself up off the ground and grabs his basket

he props it up on his hip and starts picking out his clothes from the pile

“hey, these are cute.” jin can’t help but smirk as he twirls a burgundy thong around his finger

your cheeks flame up immediately

“cut it out, you perv” you scowl playfully and grab it from him quickly

the little voice in the back of your mind can’t help but wonder if perhaps jin would be interested in seeing you wear the thong

it comes with a matching bralette

hm

“ya-“ jin pokes your arm and you look over at him “was that your dinner?” he points to the coffee pot and you glance over at it “didn’t you have ramen yesterday?”

“…yeah. instant ramen has been my dinner every day for the past week. why?” you hum nonchalantly and continue picking through the pile

you help jin out and toss one of his white t-shirts into his basket

jin can’t help but let his jaw drop

you’ve been eating processed garBAGe for the past weEK

how???????????

“it’s never enough for me tho so i usually eat a bag of chips too. i might have a frozen mac n’ cheese thingy in the freezer so that’s an option too.” you gasp excitedly “ooh i can crumble the chips over the mac n’ chee-“

“oh my god.” all of a sudden jin reaches over and puShes the rest of the clothes into his basket before grabbing your wrist and dragging you towards the door

“hey, we haven’t finished sorting out the-“

“we’ll do it later i just need to get some actual foOD into your system before all the MSG and sodium starts breakING down your internal organs”

as he’s dragging you up the stairs (the elevator is broken again what a surprise) you can’t help but admire how b r o a d his shoulders are

the cotton shirt he’s wearing is kinda thin and u swear u can see his back muscles flexing slightly

you can’t help but wonder what it’d feel like

running your hands all along his back

digging your nails into his shoulders as he,.,,., y’know

wrapping your legs around his tapered waist as he.,,.,.,. y’knOW

s i g h

you purposely pull back a little so jin slows down and gives u more time to ogle him

are you a pervert for doing that

you might be

“let me see what’s in your fridge so i can work my magic”

he’s never actually been in your apartment before

well

he’s never had a reaSon to

(you always wanna invite him in to watch a movie or something but u get shy and shrivel up immediately)

he has a good idea of the layout because his place is exactly the same as yours

he’s not surprised to see that your place is relatively neat and organised besides a couple scattered markers on the coffee table and a throw blanket tossed haphazardly over the couch

there’s a candle burning away in the middle of the coffee table that makes your place smell like warm vanilla

but then

he enters the war zone

the kitchen

oh my god

this is a living nightmare

this is HIS living nightmare

there’s just

he sees all the takeout boxes in the bin and the pizza box sitting on your kitchen island and the- well that must’ve been your breakfast or something because you sprinkled cinnamon toast crunch on a bagel smeared with waY too much cream cheese

“oh hey i forgot about this” a piece of jin’s soul dies and floats up to heaven when you pop the rest of your cinnamon-cream-cheese-bagel monstrosity into your mouth and chew thoughtfully

why does he like you

“ah, i probably should’ve offered you a bite… i’ll make one for you tomorrow if you want!”

whY DOES HE LIKE U

“i’m… good. i think i’m more than good.” he shudders before nudging past you heading to your fridge “lemme see what we’re working with here…”

“you know you really don’t have to make anything for me. i told you i had a frozen mac and cheese…” you’re rambling and jin is most certainly not paying attention to you mainly because he’s shocked becAUSE you have like NOTHING in your fridge

a bottle of three-cheese ranch

a couple oranges, an avocado, and one red apple

a half-eaten sandwich?? it looks like turkey and a shitload of mayo

a takeout box with…,,. three pieces of orange chicken and a piece of broccoli that you’ve taken a bite out of

a baby carton of chocolate milk and a regular sized carton of milk

and a can of cool whip

unless he makes an orange-chicken-turkey-avocado sandwich with ranch on the side accompanied with a glass of chocolate milk with a dollop of whipped cream on top there’s not a lot he can do here

is thiS how you live

“you know what, maybe you should just come over to my place!” jin closes the fridge and clasps his hands together “yeah, let’s do that.”

“what do you mean?? i have plenTy of food in my fridg- okAy” you stumble over your feet when jin grabs your wrist and drags you away from the fridge

when you enter jin’s place he pushes you down on the couch and you nearly bounce off of it “you stay here, and i’ll whip something up for us.”

as he turns to head towards his kitchen he hears a vioLent schrrr

he turns back around and your finger freezes on the nozzle on the whipped cream canister

“wha- where did you even hiDe that” jin furrows his brows and you shrug before squirting some more into your mouth

“you sure you don’t need any help??” you’re already bored and you’ve only been here for less than a minute

“i don’t want you burning down my kitchen, so i’m good.”

“but i’m boRed and i’m hunGRY” you whine and flop back against the couch

jin raises a brow before bending down and grabbing the remote

he turns the tv on and it just so happens to be playing the late-night cartoons

perfect for a petulant child like you

miraculously jin gets 20 minutes of peace and quiet until he hears you whining again about how hunGry again

that’s what happens when you eat nothing but empty calorie foods

your eyes light up with excitement when jin emerges from the kitchen

he has a rag tossed over his shoulder and a grey apron hanging around him that you assume is from his culinary school

his cheeks are kinda pink from the heat of the kitchen which is adorable

he sits down next to you and you turn to fully face him while crossing your legs

he hands you the plate

wow

“….do you go to culinary school or something?” you tease and jin snorts

the pasta’s been plated into a loose nest and there’s a pretty little basil leaf sitting on top

“chicken, bacon, and spinach spaghetti. and since you’re a whipped cream freak we can have assorted berries and whipped cream for dessert.”

“assorted berries.” you mock quietly and jin scowls playfully before handing you a fork

he doesn’t know why but he’s a little bit nervous lol

like he KNOWS he’s good at cooking but for some reason he feels like he’s presenting a dish to gordon ramsay or someone of that calibre

you twirl a bit of pasta around the fork and shove it into your mouth

and you didn’t think it was possible

but you’re pretty sure your mouth is having an orgasm

HOLy shit

fireworks are going OFF

the bacon has retained its crisp

the spinach is wilted but not toO wilted that it’s falling apart

the chicken is so soft and tender

the spaghetti is cooked *ahem* al dente

and the sauce!!!!

it’s so creamy

so flavourful

you swallow your bite and blink down at the plate of pasta

“what’s wrong?”

“this is…. almost too good.” you mutter and poke at a piece of perfectly cooked chicken before stabbing into it and popping it into your mouth

jin’s cheeks warm with pride as he watches you continue to eat

“it’s almost as good as my frozen mac n cheese meals.” you joke and jin resists the urge to smack you with his rag

it doesn’t matter if you’ve eaten 20 pounds of food for dinner because you’ll always aLWAys have room for dessert

especially if dessert involves whipped cream

it’s healthy-ish!! it’s basically dairy and don’t u need dairy for strong bones or something

and strawberries and blueberries are fruit

and fruit is healthy

so if you really think about it assorted berries and whipped cream is the ideal combo if u wanna get in shape

jin doesn’t trust you with the canister of whipped cream (because he’s 100% sure you’re just going to hog all the cream and squirt all of it into your mouth) so he’s squirting some out onto a particularly juicy looking strawberry that he knoWS you want to devour

he turns and offers it to you and your mouth opens automatically as you lean forward to take it into your mouth

“hold on now.” your brows immediately knit together when he pulls away juSt as you’re about to take a bite “admit it. my spaghetti is much better than your stupid mac n cheese meals.” there’s a glint of playfulness in his eyes as he points to his ear and waits for your response

“i dunno. i get the mac n cheese from whole foods so you know it’s good.” you tsk but keep your eyes right on the berry hovering in front of you

“huh. i guess i’ll be enjoying this seasonal japanese strawberry for myself, then.” jin pouts mockingly

“nO i WANT IT“ jin yelps when you’re suddenly clambering over and grabbing his wrist so that you can shoVe the berry right into your mouth

now

a normal person would eat the berry and then return to their seat

unsurprisingly

you are far from a normal person

you keep your hold on his wrist and suck the whipped cream off his thumb after swallowing the strawberry

god have mercy

your eyes flicker up and you see jin staring right at you with parted lips

“…something the matter?”

and within one second

the berries and your trusty canister of whipped cream have both been abandoned in favour for

well

“can’t believe it took you thiS long to make a move” you murmur against jin’s mouth and he responds by nipping at your bottom lip

“says you!” he gawks before proceeding to press kisses down your neck

and you finALLY get to feel his muscles rippLe underneath the soft cotton of his shirt as you slide your hands from his waist to his back

meanwhile jin’s hand has found its home in between your legs and your eyes flutter shut “god, jin…”

“something the matter?” he mocks before pressing a chaste kiss to your mouth “you gonna admit it now?”

“admit wha- oh, jin - admit whaT”

“that my food is better than your frozen TV dinners” you would’ve burst out laughing if it weren’t for the shocks of electricity tingling up your spine

“n-no way-“ your back arches against his chest and your mouth falls open in a silent moan

and suddenly

you let out a pathetic whine when jin’s hand pulls away from in between your legs “fine. i guess we’re done here!” he sits up but keeps your legs wrapped around his waist

god

you are just a vision aren’t you

you’re flopped back against the arm of the couch

your chest is heaving slightly

your cheeks and nice n rosy

“you are the absolute worst.”

“c’mon… say it…”  he hums and slides a finger from your knee cap to your inner thigh

you know for a fact you two aren’t done here because jin’s already hooked a finger into the waistband of your shorts but you’re naturally a veRy impatient person and so-

“fine, you idiot. your food is significantly better than my frozen TV dinners. happy?”

“…i’ll take it.”

((spoiler alert: you are rewarded with not one not two but thREE mind-blowing orgasms for admitting it))

((maybe you should learn to be less stubborn))

“good morning!” jin is startled awake when you plop on top of him with your legs on either side of him “it’s 10 o’clock and i made us some food”

“christ, don’t scare me like that!” jin scolds you playfully and reaches up to pinch the side of your bare thigh

you’re wearing the shirt he had on last night and it’s starting to droop off your shoulder

“good morning indeed.” his voice is thick with sleep and his hand slides up from your thigh to grasp at your waist “whatcha got there?”

“cinnamon toast crunch bagel” you murmur with a mouthful of bagel and swipe at a lil chunk of cream cheese on the corner of your mouth “my wonderful creation that i made fresh for you”

you’re getting crumbs all over jin but he can’t seem to care because the idea of a cinnamon toast crunch bagel makes him want to throW YOU ouT THE WINDOW

he sits up slowly and wraps an arm around your waist before nuzzling into the crook of your neck “you’re lucky i like you otherwise i would throw your wonderful creation righT into the garbage bin right about now.”

you scoff in mock offence and pull away from him before jabbing a sticky finger into his bare (b r o a d) chest

“don’t knock it til you try it!!”

“the day i try one of your inventions is the day i- mmph!” you shut him up and shove the last bite of your bagel into his mouth before clasping your hand over his mouth so he can’t spit it out

jin chews slowly

and swallows

what the hell

that actually..,,. that tasted good

“that was okay, i suppose. kinda sweet. but i can think of something that might taste a little sweeter.” before you know it jin is flipPing you over and you find yourself pinned underneath him

you’re a giggling mess because you’re trying to get the cream cheese and sugar particles off your fingers but jin is being very vEry distracting

“hOLd on a second sir i have breakfast waiting for us in the living room!” jin’s already made his way down your chest and is about to set up shop in between your legs

he looks up at you before offering you a cheeky grin “…i’m in the mood for breakfast in bed, aren’t you?”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

#requested drabbles #jin #seokjin #kim seokjin #jin fics #jin fic recs #jin smut #jin smut recs #jin fluff #jin fluff recs #jin cute #jin funny #seokjin smut #seokjin smut recs #seokjin fluff #seokjin fluff recs #bts #bts fic recs #bts fics #bts smut #bts smut recs #bts fluff #bts cute #bts funny

[mcousland]

☯♒☠✿ for Maeve and Caroline!

Okay, this one took me a bit because I haven’t thought about Caroline in a Hot Minute and seeing her name took me off guard lmao

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Maeve — likes: quiet mornings with her partner, warm breads with far too much butter on top, being challenged by new terrain while traveling with her companions (she’ll complain, but she truly enjoys it), experimenting with new types of writing/song. Dislikes: absolutely despises getting her stockings/feet wet, the cheap drinks that are served in many taverns, perpetually pessimistic folk, those who judge a book by its cover.

Caroline — likes: a good playlist, helping her mom prep food (because they blast music and singalong while doing so), graphic tees, vigilante training sessions where she actually goes out into the streets to try things. Dislikes: those “found the feminist” jerks, when someone talks about their passion and somebody puts them down about it, those people in video game voice chats who don’t put their mics on push-to-talk and have their keyboard sounds coming through the entire match, h o m e w o r k.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Maeve — it took her embarrassingly long to get good at it, but Maeve can proudly say that she knows how to make at least one thing perfectly and it’s her cinnamon swirl bread. She’s always childishly excited to share it with her friends, because it’s such a known Thing that she’s dreadful at cooking but this is something she does well and it’s gratifying seeing the surprise on their face when they try it.

Caroline — because her mom owns a diner, Caroline eats a ridiculous amount of french fries covered in cheese. It’s her usual order and already prepared for her if she texts her mom that she’s gonna be heading to the place after school or “dance class”.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

Maeve — is definitely an angry crier. She would get so angry but would hardly get the opportunity to release those emotions for nearly a decade, so they forced themselves out through tears as she got worked up. Adamantly refuses to get embarrassed about this though, especially in the couple of years after being freed from Carden when she is re-teaching herself how to express and explain her feelings. Sometimes it takes her a little bit to get the words out because she keeps stopping to curse and compose herself, wiping at the tears that won’t go away, but that’s fine because she’s making progress and she shouldn’t feel bad about having these overwhelming feelings because at least she’s having them (had a few points with Carden where she believed she was losing that ability, numbing herself so many times to avoid hurting so much).

Caroline — often resorts to the “frickin’ fight me” type of response when she gets angry because she hasn’t grown enough to develop or work on any other. If someone sets her off in public she’ll be ready to jump at them and needs a friend or family member to hold her back, because she’s ready to go. Shows sometimes through her smacking or kicking objects that irritate her as well. She’s… trying to work on it, for her mom’s sake. (She uses this trait as an excuse for why she sometimes comes home with injuries, lying that she got angry again and hurt herself.)

✿ - Sex headcanon

Okay so, because Caroline’s supposed to be a teen (and not a teen from the CW where they’re all sleeping with each other for Some Reason), I’m gonna opt out here and just give 2 for Maeve because that’s simpler for my brain this morning. 

Maeve — is very.. vocal, if y’know what I mean. Hope those walls aren’t thin or else you’re going to know Exactly what she and her partner are up to.

            — having her hair braided is a very intimate and calming thing for Maeve, and is 👌👌 for any aftercare with her. It’s also a way to help ground her and remind her that she’s Safe if she suddenly gets triggered by something during sex that brings on a negative response, usually because of Carden memories. 

#calebs-apprentice #hey thanks!! ^.^ #maeve #caroline helmine #care's got aged-up stuff on her pinterest board just because i like it but she's Teeny #heathen #kind of?? didn't really go into Detail but it's there lmao

[derpyslurpy-da-derp-master]

hey so i almost died yesterday

Fun fact I had my first trip to the ER and almost died yesterday ‘cause the school secretary gave me two Ibuprofen to bring down a minor fever but I’m allergic to Ibuprofen and it closed up my windpipe and I could barely breathe and if I didn’t remember the breathing exercises they taught me when I first got Asthma (holding your hands above your head and tilt your head upwards to open the windpipe) I probably wouldn’t be here to tell you about this and I’m not even in the neighborhood of fucking around.

I also got to ride in an ambulance and in a gurney for the first time so that was wild, I just hope my parents aren’t gonna be billed to oblivion for it despite the fact that I really needed to be in said ambulance so they could keep checking my vital signs and keep giving me straight up oxygen through an oxygen mask since my oxygen saturation was 91 when I got to the convenient care storefront which is REALLY FRICKIN BAD (the normal is 98-99) and they literally had to force pure oxygen in my lungs to keep me from suffocating.

I had to take like 3 breathing treatments to help me start breathing and they had to put those oxygen thingies in my nose like you see on really old people AND put my on an IV which I’ve had serious trouble, catastrophe, and trauma (Oh my!) with but the guys at the ER were waaay better than most other doctors who’ve tried to give me an IV (wow its almost like the ER people were trained to actually be able to get an IV hhhhmmmm) which was helped by the breathing treatment having this little ball that’d pop up when I breathed out and went down when I breathed in so they ushered me to focus on that which I did. This was at the very start of my visit so I could barely talk and was making guttural crying/choking noises when they said they had to give me an IV so that was the opposite of fun but managed to work out in the end. 

Eventually I got to the point that I could talk (still with a rough tone to it making me sound like a smoker Marge Simpson) and started cracking jokes as I do when in doctors offices to try and A make the doctors more comfortable and B show that I’m getting better (which must’ve been a real weird 180 for the doctors that brought me in when I was nonverbal and making choking noises and nothing else now that I think about it) and I’m pretty sure I made a few of their day’s with my goofs which is always nice. 

A few breathing treatments and allergy medications dripped through my IV later and I was feeling right as rain. They let me go and while my legs were really wobbily from barely moving for a solid 5+ hours and the cold air felt really weird in my newly cleared up windpipe, I was estatic. I went to that convient care center thinking I was going to die on Halloween and I left that ER whoopin and hollerin’ that I was alive. (and because my mom promised to let me get large fries at Arby’s since it was like 8 when we got out and I was starving)

So yeah. That’s why I was utterly silent almost all of yesterday.

#Slurpy Status Update #Original

[blueboxdrifter]

So the end has come...

Rebels is over, and I am so glad to have been a part of this fandom during its run. I always will be a part of the fandom, but, you know, it’s less fun when you discover something great after it’s already done and everyone has already plotted all their theories and gushed with other fans about upcoming episodes, and wailed in dispair during hiatuses, and written one-off fan fics after each episode, and fawned over our favorite ships for many a year. So here we are at the end! And we’ve been through it all together. And I do hope we continue talking about the series and keep the fandom alive for years to come. I mean, that cliffhanger of an ending will keep us tied up in speculations and fan fictions for at least a couple years, right?

So I finally watched the finale, after staying home with some kind of evil virus all day (honestly, it’s almost spring. Can we stop with the random horrible sicknesses already?!), and lemme tell you, I was clawing at the air and yelling “WAIT WHATTT?!?!!!!” for most of it. As soon as it finished I shot out of my seat and started pacing, whilst my brain whirred. I have so many questions!!! Also I CAN NOT believe Filoni is gonna just leave us with that ending. We’d better get a full length film following Ahsoka and Sabine in their mission to find Ezra, or a grown Jacen learning about his past and training with Ezra or something. Or at the very least a novel. Just give us something! 😭

Thoughts about the finale:

I am SOOOO glad Ryder wasn’t a traitor. I didn’t think he would actually betray them, but for a second there I had my doubts.

When Sabine asks Ezra what the deal is with him and the wolves, and he can’t really explain the connection. Is it his unique Force connection with animals/ living beings, OR is it because the wolves represent Kanan as a spirit guide and therefore his connection with Kanan?

Pryce: Don’t let it eat me!!! Me: Nah... eat the bitch. She deserves it.

Palpatine wasn’t *actually* offering Ezra a chance to be with his parents. That was an obvious trap, right? It probably wasn’t even a portal to the past. Probably a portal to something else entirely that he was after. The emperor’s a mean little bitch, toying with Ezra like that. My poor baby! He’s already lost his parents once (and his mentor/ master/ father figure) he shouldn’t have to deal with losing them again.

Thrawn is an evil sonovabitch. Nothing new there. Holy hell, that man is ruthless. Like “Oh, you wanna fight? Okay, I’ll blow up your whole city. No problem.”

Did nobody find Kanan’s lightsaber?! I thought they’d at least want that back.

When Zeb sees how dire the situation is and takes it into his own hands “I’ll do it” and Kallus screams after him “Zeb, NO!” Honestly cackling to myself just a little bit. The WRITERS are shipping them too?! Kalluzeb is an actual thing now. I am weak. This is too good.

Zeb watching as Rukh fries and tells Thrawn “Uh, he’ll have to call you back.” At which point Rukh stops screaming “Oh, never mind.” Holy shit, Zeb! BRUTAL!

I know we didn’t get a chance to really get attached to Gregor, but it still really stung when he died. Please let Wolfe and Rex live out the rest of their lives in relative peace. They’ve lost too many brothers and friends.

The purrgil are back!!! Beautiful space whales fucking up the Empires shit!!!

I’m skeptical about Ezra surviving that hyperspace jump. Also the parallel between that scene and Kanan’s last moment was hard to ignore. But honestly, unless they jump conveniently into some kind of atmosphere or if somebody saves his ass by pulling him through a portal like he did for Ahsoka, they probably ended up in some random part of space, and, ya know, suffocated and froze. Crossing my fingers for the somebody saving him option tho. I don’t want anyone else to die!

WHAT WAS HERA REALLY GOING TO TELL KANAN?!?!!!! I found it very difficult to believe that she had never told him that she loved him before. I mean, it was SO obvious the way they were with each other that they were in love and had been for some time. So... I can only guess that it was about her pregnancy. Holy shit! And when did THAT happen?! And in retrospect, this must have been the elephant in the room that both of them were dancing around. The sort of change in atmosphere in their relationship since the start of season 4. They were all just little things that he said/did (“what kind of life do you want to live?”, rescuing the kalikori to carry on the family tradition, “I have something to tell you”, etc), but I’m pretty sure Kanan already knew. Little lettuce-head baby Jacen!!! Omg! I’m weeping! Protect him at all costs!

Okay so now we know our head canons about Rex being at the battle of Endor are confirmed. But Hera as well? What was she? Frickin ginormously pregnant with Jacen and still fighting?! I can only imagine the argument with Mon Motha where she stubbornly refuses to be left behind no matter what. That woman is a force of nature.

Ahsoka and Sabine team up! YASSSS!!!! My queens off to wreak some havoc and find their Bridger boy! Please let’s us have some kind of material featuring this dynamic duo. An audio adventure? A comic? A novel? A mini spin off series? A FILM?!!! Gimme somethin! Also Sabine’s new hair is much closer to what mine is currently. Cosplay opportunity! YASS!

Still thought they were joking about the Kalluzeb thing? Lookout, bitch! Zeb brought Kallus home to meet the family! Oh shit!

#swr spoilers #swr season 4 #swr finale #hera syndulla #ezra bridger #sabine wren #zeb orrelios #chopper #kanan jarrus #ahsoka tano #specters #specter 7 #kanera baby #kanera #i cant believe this is actually canon #alexsandr kallus #kalluzeb #star wars #star wars rebels #so long and thanks for all the fish #i will miss this show so frackin much

[yourpunxprincess]

Okay, it’s time. I did this just a few short weeks ago with the TVD finale so now Bones gets its own post as well. Summer of 2015, my dad is fed up with paying for cable so instead he gets Netflix. I catch my mom watching a crime show that was actually frickin funny, even more so than NCIS. I’m watching Buffy at the time and I catch a glimpse of the beautiful David Boreanaz as Special Agent Seely Booth. Hello hot stuff, amirite? So I go back and start from the beginning. 10 seasons of Bones are on Netflix and I managed to watch all of them within six months. I’ve seriously fallen in love with the characters. I’ve cried, laughed, and became part of those stupid characters. And then I reach the point where by season 11, I could watch live with the rest of the world. (Coincidently, my dad got rid of Netflix and rebought cable. He's wild.)Then Bones announces it’s final season. All that hard work for me to just watch two seasons live? It didn’t seem fair. And in the end, it still wasn’t fair. I’m still sitting on my couch SOBBING that baby hodgela 2.0 is okay, that Cam and Arastoo are adopting THREE SONS, and that Booth and Brennan never lost sight in who they truly are, not only to themselves but to everyone. The squints, even Vincent, all helped save the day. Aubrey got two buckets of fried chicken and still a redhead on his arm. Caroline has two agents to call “cher.” And Sweets’ legacy still lasts with The Parts of the Whole. This is exactly why I’m still crying and I thank anyone who is still here reading this. Carry on children. Also, Booth and Brennan were definitely better than Mulder and Scully.

#becca shares her thoughts #i'm done #bones

[ashinan]

An update on the pineapple/ice cream/ketchup/french fries discourse that our entire writing group just had: 

Boss compared french fries and milkshakes to chocolate covered pretzels. Lisa Onions, betraying us all, put a poll on tumblr to gain support (DECEPTION. DISGRACE). Mumble continued slinging insults like a champ. Andy pushed the KETCHUP AND HOT DOGS ARE GOOD IN KD concept without shame

Some excellent commentary re: food debate

Lisa Onions: BOSS THEY TRIED TO MAKE ME EAT KETCHUP IN THE MAC AND CHEESE Mumble: ok listen ketchup AND pepper Lisa Onions: E W Bosstoaster (Chao): HOW DAREYOU DO THAT TO THIS SWEET ONION Mumble: you wouldn't even TRY it Lisa Onions: GAGGING Lisa Onions: BRB MUST DIE

Lisa Onions: that's because Andy and I are correct Lisa Onions: re: pizza Andy: hey pineapple is fine on pizza as long as it has ham on it Lisa Onions: ^^^^ Bosstoaster (Chao): How dare you speak that with your mouth hole Lisa Onions: she typed it with her fingers Bosstoaster (Chao): ........this is an excellent point Bosstoaster (Chao): How dare you think that with your brain pan Lisa Onions: HAHAHA Mumble: keep your filthy pizza habits to yourself this is a sin free group chat

Bosstoaster (Chao): KRAFT Mumble: why are you yelling kraft Bosstoaster (Chao): KD is not it's name Lisa Onions: because it's kraft and not KD Bosstoaster (Chao): You strange northern heathens Mumble: I will take a snap of the kd in my cupboard right frickin now boss don't test me Andy: ITS CALLED KRAFT DINNER Andy: KD Lisa Onions: IT'S JUST CALLED KRAFT Lisa Onions: I have none in my house to snap you but so help me I can go to the store

The night ended on a lovely note of mumble stealing away into the night to play vidya till she falls asleep, boss also having to faceplant into bed, and lisa onions and myself failing to get back on track with the whole WRITING EXERCISE which we were all participating in before this devolved into heinous fuckery

#butteredonions #bosstoaster #mumblefox #we all love each other I assure you #we did not get any writing done though #it all devolved so fast #it was glorious #also fyi #we've had this conversation #five times now #and it gets more heated every time #it's beautiful #long post

[x4f0wrcg-blog]

Is Kaiser Permanente a good health insurance company

Is Kaiser Permanente a good health insurance company

what are some others

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SOURCES:

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[likestoimagine16]

Raskovnik AU, aka my hanahaki-spite AU

So I’ve been sitting on this Yuri on Ice AU for something like 2 years by this point, and I’m probably not going to be finishing it, so here’s the (very long) run-down

(the reason it’s called hanahaki-spite is because I really do not like hanahaki. If you like hanahaki AU, that’s entirely your prerogative and you’re free to do as you like, but I’m not sure how much you’ll appreciate this one

The disease: 

First off, the reason why it’s called Raskovnik is because of this cryptid plant, which is based on an aquatic fern. Supposedly, it unlocks/uncovers whatever is locked/closed, but can only be identified by chthonic animals in Slavic tradition (eg tortoises, snakes, or hedgehogs)

The disease is NOT based off unrequited love, because that honestly skeeves me out for a number of reasons, including but not limited to the idea that ‘unrequited love’ is enough to disease someone and the fact that the ‘cure’ is kind of sketchy in regards to the fact that the target of the unrequited feelings has apparently has to reciprocate them or they’re implicitly responsible for the victim’s death in-universe

Oh yeah, the disease doesn’t kill you unless you let it grow way too long and the surgery to remove the plants, while causing a minor depressive episode, does not ‘surgically remove the feeling of love’ for anyone, because love really shouldn’t be something that easy to excise from a person

Basically, what happens with the disease is this aquatic fern thing (a red four-leaf clover type thing with heart-shaped leaves, in this 'verse) grows in some people’s lungs if certain conditions are met. It’s not very well understood in-universe, but there’s lots of (scientific and popular) speculation, which is where the idea of ‘unrequited love’ being the cause comes from

‘hanahaki’ is the popular general term for the disease, and most scientists/doctors hate it because it’s generally associated with the ‘romanticized’ version of the disease with the unrequited love and the cure being the confession and the surgery removing love along with the plant nonsense - similar to how tuberculosis was romanticized for making ladies ‘pale and faint’ like it wasn’t a frickin disease

The actual conditions are that 1) you’re genetically susceptible (usually associated with ‘green thumb’ types of people who are really good at talking to plants and helping them grow, 2) you’re trying to ‘box’ your relationships in some way that simplifies or generalizes what love is, and 3) you’ve encountered the Raskovnik spore at some point, so it’s like... actually in your lungs

Basically, the idea is that people produce some kind of particle in their lungs (I don’t have a name for them, so they’re just ‘love particles for now I guess) that’s good for plant growth, and it tends to be produced more when you’re like, lovingly talking to plants or just loving in general (kind of like oxytocin but not really)

Normally the love particle is kind of just made and released as produced, but people who end up metaphorically locking their love away subsequently lock these particles in their lungs - this creates a buildup of the particles in your lungs that Raskovnik then grows off of it

When you’ve resolved your love-boxing issues, the Raskovnik has done its job and ‘unlocked’ your heart, so the particles are exhaled as normal and the plant eventually dies out

The reason why the surgery creates a depressive episode is because it’s not very precise, so taking the Raskovnik roots out of the heart can damage the nodes that produce the love particles - they recover eventually, but until then your body’s kind of just not happy with the imbalance that causes

(If you want a brief snapshot of ‘hanahaki’s’ impression on society, here you go: Viktor reads as far as “her breath is perfumed with the scent of wild roses as she confesses, ‘I hate Valentine's day because it reminds me of my incurable disease and the curse I must suffer,” before he throws his cheap airport romance at the wall.)

Anyways, the actual Yuri on Ice plot

So it starts with the banquet, because duh

But really, when I say ‘start’ I mean, this is the very beginning, because Viktor’s been feeling that ice-skating burnout for a while, so he’s been a little too grey to really remember what it was like to love ice skating. He knows he used to love it, and he knows that he used to remember what love was, but nowadays it's really hard to care

Then the banquet happens, and everything’s champagne-gold bright and warm, because Viktor gets to dance with one Yuuri Katsuki and he feels a bit more alive

Except after that, he’s got radio silence from Yuuri, so he figures it was kind of a one-time thing

He doesn’t actually have the disease at this point, but this is where it starts. This is where his personal fondness for Yuuri starts at least, beyond his professional fascination for his artistry and emotive skating, and this is where he manages to find hope, even despite the radio silence

at this point, the love particle build-up is pretty slight, and he doesn’t actually have the spores in his lung, so there’s a groundwork for it, but no disease

Anyways, that kind of liminal state lasts about as long as it takes for Stammi Vicino a la Yuuri to happen, because well. Canon happens.

Viktor arrives full tilt in Hasetsu and, under the impression that Yuuri actually remembers the banquet, is concerned about Yuuri’s... less than ecstatic response to his arrival

so he figures okay this wasn’t as magical as he’d been hoping, but it’s still better than the utter gray that he was feeling before, and he really does want to help Yuuri reach his full potential.

besides, even if it’s not shaping up to be a fairytale, he’s still thankful that Yuuri gave him that spark anyways, so he can still do this to show his appreciation anyways

so that’s not the problem, the actual problem is when Viktor figures that, since Yuuri’s not really happy with Viktor, he’s going to figure out which version Yuuri would be happiest with and do that

... it doesn’t really mesh well with the ‘don’t box in love’ type of thing for the disease, though to be fair no one really knows that’s an actual condition by this point

Yeah this is when the disease really takes root, both because he’s now fueling the disease a lot more actively with his mentality and because he has the actual spore in his lungs

Viktor tries to hide this. Considering that he’s periodically coughing up Raskovnik leaves and his lung capacity is shrinking, he doesn't hide it very well. He manages something like a week at most

No one in the family buys into the popular ‘unrequieted love’ explanation for Raskovnik, because they know better

Yuuri, in particular, has listened to many of Phichit’s rants about how dumb it is to romanticize a poorly understood disease, because he was there for all the research Phichit had to do for one of his class assignments

Anyways, that goes on for the like, week or so it takes for Yurio to arrive and kick off the whole Onsen on Ice thing

At which point Yuuri’s adorable ‘I want to eat Katsudon with you’ thing happens - it doesn’t quite spark a realization in Viktor, but it’s one of the first steps for him changing his perspective on things

Anyways, the general thing with Onsen on Ice is mostly little bonding snapshots. Yuuri’s... not exactly open but he’s not jumping, screeching, and finding the nearest dark place to hide anymore, while Yurio is kind of failing to aggressively dislike the Katsukis in general, and Yuuri in particular (he follows Yuuri around like the world’s most belligerent kitten, but he’s also very clearly growing attached to everyone). Viktor is getting along well but somewhat tentatively with the other Katsuki’s, considering he’s in a bit of a weird guest-but-also-not-really phase with them

The beach thing from the ending happens - Mari finds some old sprinklers from last summer in storage, and she suggests Yuuri can take the Russians out to the beach and show them how they work (“Yuuri,” Mari says, “they’re Russian they can probably handle a little Japan spring chill”)

Anyways, Onsen on Ice happens and Yuuri wins, so after they eat katsudon in celebration Viktor gives Yuuri the weekend (Fri, Sat, Sun) off

which means less ‘no work’ and more ‘you don’t need to wake up at 6 for warmups anymore, we can keep a lighter schedule and start whenever you wake up’

Yeah, so Yuuri’s been pretty good about waking up at 6 for warmups (or at least about staying up once he’s gotten moving), so Viktor doesn’t actually realize that Yuuri’s a night owl until he gets worried two days later and Yuuri’s still not awake at 10 AM

Viktor’s a morning person

Anyways, this and other little things helps Viktor to see more of Yuuri-the-person rather than Yuuri-the-banquet-dancer. This is important because it helps him to realize (much later) that like... you don’t have to be an idealized version of yourself to be loved. Even if that’s kind of what skating fandom has pushed at Viktor, he’s kind of seeing otherwise - he sees Yuuri as less of his idealized image and falls more in love, and eventually realizes that it probably works the other way around, too

Which leads to the beach talk in episode 4, where Viktor starts chucking different masks at Yuuri and asking which one he wants, and Yuuri says he just wants Viktor to be Viktor

He’s not sure why his heart flutters at Yuuri’s declaration, but it does. It takes Viktor a little while to figure out that he also wants to know who ‘just Viktor’ is

This is the major turning point for Viktor. Yes, we’re not even halfway through the season. Yes this is still the major turning point because this is where Viktor stops using his masks

Not to say he’s cured at this point, because he still has other things he needs to work through, but like this is the peak of the Raskovnik growth - it’s only going to get smaller from here, though there’s some confusion as to why it never quite dies out (that happens shortly after the GPF)

Most of the time between here and the GPF is for like, small things that highlight the slow burn, fall-deeper-in-love YoI goodness, but one of the more relevant things is Viktor starts helping out with the plants in the hot spring

Most relevant are the cherry blossom trees, cuz like... they’re beautiful, but they don’t bloom that long. Normally. Basically, Viktor talks to the tree as he tends to it, mentions offhand that he’d like to see the cherry blossoms again but he’s not sure he’ll still be there by next year, and boom. Cherry blossoms everywhere. In something like the middle of summer. This is because of Viktor’s ‘green thumb’ thing, which subsequently makes him susceptible to the disease

I also imagine that, either after the beach or after the Cup of China, Viktor and Yuuri start sleeping in the same bed at night (and I do mean actual sleeping, though I suppose if you wanted to do otherwise that’d be up to you)

You know the airport scene? It’s beautiful, it’s romantic, Yuuri asks Viktor to coach him until he retires and Viktor says he wishes Yuuri would never retire? Yeah, this is build up to the climax

Because it is exactly everything I described, but also like. Viktor’s been getting better about the *Edna mode voice* ‘no masks’ thing, but that doesn’t mean he’s really completely resolved it. Understandable, considering it’s something like a half a year unlearning that compared to something like ten years of consistently wearing masks for the public and being isolated from even your peers in private, but not great for the disease that feeds off it

So here’s where Viktor accidentally solidifies the thought that he’d be willing to give up everything for Yuuri - even himself. If being Viktor-the-coach is what Yuuri needs, then that’s who he’ll be

This isn’t actually a conscious decision, or like, a rational one, but well. People aren’t always rational, and as they’re nearing the end of the skating year, things are looking a little more muddled. Viktor would like to stay with Yuuri for the rest of his life, but that’s not a certainty like coaching is, and Viktor’s not really used to not having a plan

that being said, I do think Viktor’s a lot more confident in their future together than Yuuri is, because Viktor doesn’t have Yuuri’s anxiety brain - in my mind, Viktor’s natural fears for the future are kind of colliding with Yuuri’s unease (which Viktor isn’t consciously aware of, but is still picking up on)

honestly if you have a better idea 

Anyways, while that’s kind of percolating in the background, episode 10 happens, with all proposals and banquet revelations that entail. Also Viktor accidentally spiking Yuuri’s anxiety with the whole “we'll get married once he wins gold” because like, Viktor meant for it to be something along the lines of ‘I have complete faith in Yuuri’s skill and ability to win’ and uh. Yuuri heard differently.

So Viktor’s talk with Yurio goes here, including the bit of his internal monologue of “If I’d stayed in Russia, Yurio wouldn’t be as motivated and neither would I”, because it’s still very indicative of how he’s grown - his potentially backsliding on some of those lessons doesn’t mean he didn’t learn, and it doesn’t mean he can’t pull himself back up. 

Anyways the GPF short program happens, and Yuuri trips up because he’s unbalanced - he can’t get in the right mindset for his skate, though he’s skilled enough with it that he still does really well - Viktor notes this, but he doesn’t connect it to his whole ‘we’ll get married once he gets gold’ thing until their confrontation that night. 

Also relevant, Viktor’s looking at all these skaters and remembering what he loved so much about competing, and about making his own programs. He’s not thinking about it at this point, but this is what Yuuri sees when he thinks Viktor wants to go back

"Let's end this” happens because of Yuuri’s anxiety brain

Viktor’s all sorts of distressed about this, but one of the biggest things is just... what did Yuuri see that convinced him Viktor wanted to go back? Was there something he missed that Yuuri had seen?

He loves coaching Yuuri, but he loved skating first. Seeing everyone skate so passionately made him remember that viscerally, so that new revelation along with Yuuri’s insistence on not stealing him away from the skating he loves makes him doubt himself 

Look, Viktor barely even knows himself as it is, after ten years of putting on one mask after another - maybe Yuuri really does know him better, he was already the one who told Viktor there was a person to be loved under all the masks (he doesn’t, but also anxiety brain)

Anyways, Viktor and Yuuri end that talk on a... tense note, but with a promise that they’ll both think independently on what they want personally, rather than what they think would work best for their fairly young relationship

The free skate happens, in all it’s beautiful glory, and Viktor realizes what Yuuri wants - Yuuri’s always been a beautiful skater, but he’s been mired down by his doubts and anxieties. This skate is quite literally the best he’s ever done, and Viktor knows Yuuri well enough to know that Yuuri wants to be even better. He hasn’t reached his zenith yet, but he still has the drive to improve, and enough determination that Viktor won’t have to sacrifice his dreams to help Yuuri with his goal

also YUURI WINS GOLD which isn’t so much a Raskovnik thing as it is me still being slightly salty about the ending thing

I’m just saying Yuuri deserved gold and also it would have fit the narrative journey better

(The matter of his dream is a different story)

Okay, here I have two potential endings, depending on how I’m feeling about Yuuri getting the wrong medal in canon

The first one is further from canon, in that Viktor decides wholesale that he doesn’t want to skate competitively. He remembers why he loved it because of the passion everyone (and especially Yuuri) showed, but it's in a nostalgic way. It’s not what he wants anymore, but it’s good to know that he wasn’t imagining it when he thought he used to love skating competitively

The other one is actually my saltier one, because like... you didn’t actually need to steal Yuuri’s gold to have Viktor skating in the next season. Specifically, this ties into the fact that Viktor ended his last season with gold shackles clamped around his throat

it’s... it’s not really the high note that one might want to end a competitive season

It’s also going to be how he ends his career if he doesn’t choose to skate next year

considering that Viktor’s recently recaptured his love for competitive skating, and considering the fact that he only really has this year to try it, he’d like to end on an emotional high note, regardless of how he scores, so he chooses to skate next season as well

Considering how much he’s learned from Yuuri and how much Yuuri’s learned from him, they can both kind of teach each other while also training under Yakov, assuming that doesn’t cause problems

I have to admit, I’m not too clear on skating regulations, except that it seems like there’d be issues regarding the idea of having a competitor also coaching as a massive conflict of interest

In any case, the season basically finishes with Viktor being cured of the disease, since he finally figured out the balance of loving Yuuri without sacrificing himself (and like, there’s nothing wrong with sacrifices for the one you love, but they very much shouldn’t be because you think you’re worth less, or because you don’t value your own joy and happiness)

it takes a few days for the plant to well and truly starve, at which point it dies and Viktor ends up hacking up a bunch of roots along with the Raskovnik ‘petals’

It’s not exactly romantic, but its also the end of the disease, at a very convenient timing because Viktor’s lost a fair amount of lung capacity from it, he’s going to need to train himself back up for the next season (NOT for Worlds, that’s way too soon)

Additional notes

As mentioned before, Phichit has done quite a bit of research and gone on quite a few angry rants about “hanahaki, as it’s wrongly called” - Yuuri ends up introducing him to Phichit through video chat so they can talk about things

I was debating whether or not to have Viktor journaling in the meanwhile, to track his mental state and the state of the disease. If he did the journals, they could be good case study material for in-universe scientists studying Raskovnik, but it might also be extraneous to the story, so who knows

The fact that Yuuri rightfully wins gold means that Yurio doesn’t, which I honestly think fits better for his arc as well - part of the problem for the show is that he’s very much trying to fill in Viktors (and Yuuri’s) skates, and he’s being pushed to skate ‘beautifully’ when it goes against a lot of his nature

that’s not to say he doesn’t like being beautiful, but Yurio is fierce and passionate more than he is beautiful, and that’s the way he likes it (side note, I tend to headcanon Yurio’s theme for the season as ‘passion’ or something similar, due to the juxtaposition of the holy passion of his SP and the firey energy of his FS

Anyways Yurio pushes himself too far, as was foreshadowed for the entire season, and tires out too much to skate his FS perfectly

He still does really well, though, because he managed to skate the way he wanted, in his determination to convince Yuuri to stay (it’s not exactly a game-changer, because he was already going to, but it’s very encouraging for Yuuri nonetheless)

His skate is fiery and elegant and fierce in a way that it hadn’t been before, at least until he tired out - it contrasts pretty distinctly with Vitkor’s skating, which tends more for a more smooth, serene type of elegance, which Viktor and Yuuri both bring up at separate points

This ends up being why Yurio changes up his exhibition - he’s been kind of thinking about this for a while, but he never got the chance to perform as he wanted and well. He’s impatient, so he’s going to take that chance now

And that’s how he ends up mixing brainchild skate ideas with Otabek’s music and their combined teenage fashion skills to make Welcome to the Madness

Despite the fact that Yuuri did, in fact, win gold, the wedding needs to be postponed because the entirety of Hasetsu might actually try to murder them if they’re not at least involved.

also, planning a proper wedding at the same time as multiple skate programs (three to six, depending on your ending of choice) and also a good amount of coaching seems like a really bad idea

So anyway, this entire mess of an AU is brought to you by my brain rebelling against one too many hanahaki AUs, with Yuri on Ice ending up as the inadvertent victim. I have a few things written for this, but not near enough to post in any really coherent form, so I figured I’d release the thing to the wild in this way instead

(If anyone wants to do anything with this, I’d just like credit and a link so I can see your stuff. If you want to use the idea for anything outside of Yuri on Ice, that’s perfectly fine, too)

#yuri on ice #raskovnik AU #long post #VERY long post #because I apparently have a lot to say about hanahaki au in general but especially in regards to Yuri on Ice #also #rough count #but I made it through 87 out of the 100 points tumblr's apparently allowing now #and only a few of those points are for dramatic formatting

[httpwwwdotbombdotcom]

CP Stories

(This tale outlines one afternoon/evening of the summer I spent working at Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, Ohio. I got off work, walked to my dorm, and started writing everything down as it happened.)

*open notebook*

SO here I am on the very hot shuttle bus, packed to the gills. The shuttle bus is, in its purest form, a school bus painted a horrible blue-green and slapped with a Cedar Point logo. There are two of these monstrosities; one that runs from the men’s dorms to the Commons dorms, and one that runs from the Commons to town, where you can go to the mall, Wal-Mart, etc.) So every time I need something or if I’m bored on my day off, I have to first walk through the park, through the marina gate to the men’s dorms, sit and wait for the green monster, die in the sweltering heat, ride for 25 minutes to the Commons, wait for green monster #2, die again in the bus heat, ride another 15 minutes into town, then disembark. All this for a tube of toothpaste?

Suddenly the death trap lurches forward and we’re off. Having my legs folded and propped up on the seat on front of me has made my legs sweat a lot. It is however my my go-to comfiest school bus position. I patented it back in ‘98 during my first season of school bus riding. A close second favorite position was sitting on the floor backwards, playing with my Beanie Babies on the seat.

Soon enough we pull into the Commons parking lot. I thank the purple-uniformed Jamaican boy who lets me off in front of him. I also thank the bald, wrinkly, slow-talking bus driver whose name I’ve decided is Harry. I like old guys. Well most of them.

I step onto GM#2 and take my seat, third from the back on the right, and assume The Position. It makes my legs sweat but there really is no better position. There are two Mexican girls across from me, one of whom has obviously discovered the Hollister store at the Sandusky Mall. She has on Hollister sunglasses, shirt, denim shorts, belt, and flip flops. Hollister Overload, muchacha. I have only set foot in that store once, back home. If I hadn’t been sent running, choked by the overwhelming bro-cologne bomb I might have stayed long enough to see more than the one rack of $20 paper-thin tank tops that looked like they’d crumble if I looked at them wrong. It’s not that I don’t like their clothes, some of them are cute, it’s just that I can’t stomach paying that much for something that will a) wear out very quickly and b) put out the message that I want people to think I’m cool for wearing this brand. That’s all you’re paying for is the damn logo. Get me a plain white tee and I’ll paint a frickin bird on it and sell it for $20. My other thing is.. If I do wear a name brand, I don’t wear everything from the store all at once so you don’t Overload.

Bus driver #2 has obviously decided to take us on the scenic route. It’s been 20 minutes and the mall is nowhere in sight. Not that I have anywhere to be, I don’t have a date with toothpaste or anything.

*later, back from Wal-Mart*

I take the first bite of my cheddar, honey mustard, and cocktail sauce sandwich. It’s less-than-delicious, but will do the job it’s intended of, which is of course to quash my insane hunger. These days I find myself eating a lot of “makeshift dinners”, partly because let’s face it I’m broke, but also because I get a small sense of excitement from inventing a new food, no matter how sad the food is. I decide next to quash my boredom and go outside. Suddenly remembering yesterday’s episode with the dollar-bill-rejecting vending machine, I tap into my “savings”, a very small piggy bank I fill with loose change. (It’s not actually a pig it’s a plastic cylinder with a slot at the top and a dollar bill decal wrapped around the outside. I stole it from my older sister who had won it in one of those middle school fundraiser contest things.) Success, I find four quarters. So I gather up my makeshift dinner, the quarters, my phone, and this notebook, and head down the sketchy metal staircase to the “lounge”. I put this in quotes because our “lounge” is really 3 picnic tables under a rickety pavilion that is probably older than both my parents combined, flanked by a water fountain and two poorly-working microwaves. Luxurious right?

While carefully walking down the aforementioned stairs, my dinner already devoured, I come across a foreign couple just casually chatting on the bottom step. As I approach them, I can tell they come from somewhere in Eastern Europe. Let’s say Czechoslovakia since it’s fun to say! (Is that even a country anymore?) Their chatter continues and they simultaneously turn their heads to look up at me. The girl gives me the ol’ elevator eyes, seemingly glancing a bit too long at the length of my pink shorts. The guy’s eyes pan down, obviously noting my bare feet. He meets and returns the girl’s look of mild disgust. I cheerfully greet them and breeze past, careful not to tread on the oil stain on the concrete that always reminded me of a pair of lungs. Once they are almost out of earshot, I let out a chuckle. People, it’s 95 degrees out and after this summer I’m 99% sure I’ll never see any of you again, not that I’d care anyway.

Suddenly noticing all three picnic tables are occupied by Skype-ing foreigners, I opt to set up shop in the grass under one of the two trees. I sit with my back against the trunk, notebook in my lap and toss my phone into the grass under my knees. 

It’s the summer before I start college and I have recently been inspired by the completion of my recommended reading. It’s the first book I’ve read of my own (suggested) will since I don’t know when. (It was recommended not required, give me at least half credit here!) I used to read A LOT as a kid but the older I get I’m finding it more and more difficult to sit and focus on one thing for too long. Oh! Here comes the mutually disgusted Czech couple! See there I go, I get distracted that quickly.

Anyway, I was talking about inspiration. I tend to become inspired by many things over the course of a day, if I allow myself to be open to inspiration. Sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I try to channel it into writing something worthwhile, sometimes I honestly don’t know what to do with it and I spend so much time trying to decide what to do that by the time I make a decision, I’ve lost the inspiration. RIght now it seems to be working for me.

Before I go any further, let me introduce myself. Hi I’m Katie. I’m 16 weeks shy of 19, 2 weeks shy of starting college, and 10 days shy of quitting my job here at Cedar Point. I don’t actually work in the park, I work at a restaurant on the beach as a food runner. Nope, not a server, just a runner. I spend between 4 and 8 hours per shift, 4 or 5 days a week running hot, heavy plates of gross food to ungrateful customers. And also performing other various tasks for other employees. If we were an honest society, my job title would be “Everyone Else’s Bitch”. But I don’t like to complain, It’s alright I guess. I mean I have no frame of reference as this is my first job, but the daily tips I get are great, and sometimes the customers are friendly? And if not, I steal fries from their plates before I bring ‘em out. Once I even took a quick dip into a guy’s BBQ sauce too. Sometimes if they are blatantly rude it gives me material for humorous Facebook posts later on. I’ll spend my shift thinking of how to word it then post when I get back to my dorm. With all the weird shit I observe on the daily, I’ve managed to become pretty damn good at turning the unfortunate into something laughable, even if just to myself. Although judging by the number of likes I get on some of my posts by the next morning I can assume they’re laughable to others too.

Suddenly my phone chimes with the reception of a new text. It’s from Chad, a decidedly very lonely blond kid from high school. “Hey ;)” I quickly reply, “Don’t bug me now.” Truth is, I’ve been struck by inspiration and I don’t want to lose it this time. That quickly goes out the window when a different pair of assumingly Eastern European girls sit down at the picnic table nearest me and begin to chat loudly in their language over a delicious-looking triple chocolate muffin and hot tea. Feeling defeated, I retrieve my phone and try to connect to the terrible wifi. Meanwhile I get another text  from Chad. “Why?” I reply, “Inspiration struck and I’m rolling with it.” knowing him and his probably lack of understanding of the creative mind, he’ll probably reply with something along the lines of “Wtf?”. We’ll have to wait & see.

While waiting, I grab up my quarters and slink over to the vending machine to get a Brisk. I remembered that, based on my extensive personal research, it’s the perfect complement to pretzel sticks, and it just so happens I have a bag of the things up in my dorm. I leave my things in the grass, and head back up, over the lung-oil stain and up the metal stairs to the sweltering hallway to room 172. The room is about ¼ the size of my bedroom at home, with dirty cracked wooden floors of extremely pale blue and an equally dirty window. It came equipped with steel bunk beds with a blue plastic-covered mattress, two mismatched 4-drawer dressers, and a yellow side table with a squeaky drawer, a lamp, and an armless, high-back wooden chair. I feel the need to note that the little lamp is about 3x brighter than the actual light on the ceiling. With my addition of mini-fridge and pink bedding it seems a bit more livable. I grab my pretzels and head back out to my tree. When I get there, I find that the muffin-sharers are still there only now across from them sits another pair of girls who are staring intently at a laptop screen, the bright light illuminating their confused faces in the darkening dusk. The muffin gals say words in their language that have a tone similar to a goodbye salutation. My guess was correct as they soon gather up their tea mugs and and rise from the table. After a bit more chatter they lean in and kiss on the lips. Interesting. 

Dusk has become night, the sunlight is now completely gone. I decide to use the light of my phone to write a bit more before heading up to sleep on my oh-so-cozy PlastiMattress™. OH! I remember to check on my Chad-versation. His reply: “Umm okay…” Ha. Toldja.

Trying to gather my next thoughts, I end up zoning out on the pop machine behind the confused laptop couple. The guy must think I’m staring at him because he looked up at me, equally as confused at me as with the laptop. Oops. I’m supposed to be invisibly people-watching. I’ve been had.

*a bit later* 

It’s still the same night, only now I’ve put on sweatpants and moved my writing sesh inside decay pavilion. My phone died while I was surfing the world wide web. The area is now inhabited by 12 other people, now 14, and approximately 6 billion little sweat flies. They seem to really like my feet. I gotta get out of here, time for bed.

[whiteboyday]

Freedom Theatre, Jenin Refugee Camp, Palestine.

March 31st Donegal-Dublin-Tel Aviv And so the adventure begins! Got to bed at midnight after packing for the 10days in Jenin, in the Palestine West-Bank working with The Freedom Theatre in the Refugee Camp there. I've wanted to visit the occupied territories for maybe 10years but could never find the perfect time or way to visit. I loathed the idea of visiting as a tourist, and so when the invite from Michela from the world-renowned Freedom Theatre arrived in my mailbox, I jumped at the opportunity. This was the way i could not have even dreamed about, as an artist immersed in the day-to-day lives of Palestinians, and creating and learning at the same time. I booked my very reasonable flights with Turkey Air via Istanbul and so off I went. Donegal to Dublin The windscreen wipers were on full power for almost all of the journey as my trusty A3 snaked its way through the Irish countryside. I had a green shop-bought juice en route with no time for anything more substantial as I had my travel time, with car drop off in my mate Mullys house, down to Tag Heuer percision! I got to Mullys at 7am - bang on time to leave my car. In order to have as little as possible to potentially lose, I took my driving license & my Cineworld cinema card out of my wallet, and left them in the car. One last passport & ticket check and off I walked to the bus stop to get the bus to airport. As a last minute bus strike had been announced at 4am, I jumped on a scheduled Dublin bus heading to the airport via O'Connell street. €8 was the cost, the driver said as he pulled off. I handed him a tenner, but he informed me that they only accept coins. Avoiding my embarrassment & regaining my faith in humanity the pretty young girl behind me said to him, 'Take for 2 on my card' .. she was a sweetheart & refused my offer of reimbursing. Wow! With the week off to such a life-affirming start, I jumped off the bus at Dublin Airport, & headed straight to find an ATM in the departures lounge. Said ATM located, I pulled out my wallet to find only 1 card therein. ...My frickin CINEMA card!!! In my haste I had left my bank card & my only access to funds for the entire trip in the windshield visor of the car. It started to dawn on me that I was heading to the west bank with only enough money for my hostel in Tel Aviv and not enough even, for food, & I began to fear the worst. I rang AIB who assured me, thankfully that emergency funds could be transferred via Western Union. Crisis averted. For now. Then, realising that in my terror and panic at the thought of having no money in a very foreign land, I had left my suitcase sitting at the ATM, I rushed down the airport escalator two steps at a time. There she was where I had left her, looking sheepish and lonely but delighted that we were to be reunited. Crisis No.2 averted. The plane ride to Istanbul was pleasant, and I had a glass of red wine & 2 strong G&T's from the free bar to help my brain reassess my options when arriving in Israel. A quick stopover in Istanbul, and we touched down in Tel-Aviv at 11pm local time. We were advised by our contacts in Palestine not to say we were travelling there, so when I was (the only) person stopped by immigration on the runway outside the plane, and asked a multitude of questions about the reasons for my visit, I had to call on all of the acting skills I possessed to assure them I was there on a beach, historical sites and running trip. Crisis No.3 averted! I then walked out of Tel Aviv airport on my own to be told that Fri and Sat are the weekend days in the Jewish Calendar, so no public transport, trains or shuttle buses operate, and that I needed to get an expensive cab to the city centre. I knew if I paid this that I couldn't afford the hostel, so I asked a guy who I heard speaking at the Currency exchange in an American accent, if we could share a cab & he agreed! He had just returned from a mini-tour of the Far East and was delighted to share the financial load. Crisis No4. averted. The Abraham Hostel in the city centre was ideal to get the head down for the night, & at breakfast in the AM, I made an additional sandwich, wrapped it in a napkin & took an extra 3 wedges of orange as I figured I would not eat until my funds arrived in a day or two. That was at least lunch sorted later. I met the most of the rest of the group participating in the theatre workshops at the airport at 1pm to meet our Palestinian minibus driver & his friend to take us to Jenin. I sat in the front as I wanted to film some footage for a short that I hope to make of my trip to the occupied territories. An hour into the journey, our driver pointed out his village to me in the distance, and I jokingly said 'Let's all go back to yours for tea!' Little did I think he would take me seriously, but no amount of protests would deter him now as he drove off to the left and took us to his home to meet his wife & children who prepared us coffee and delicious breads & sweet biscuits & sent us on our way. This was Palestinian hospitality on an epic scale! We arrived in Cinema Jenin Hostel in the city at 4.30pm, much later than expected due to our unannounced stop-off at our friendly drivers home. By now I was experiencing a sensory overload, & the super strong coffee we were greeted with helped to give me the shakes! We were warmly greeted by the staff & co-workers at cinema Jenin Guesthouse and we were given the induction to life in the area & prepared for the week ahead. We leave for the Jenin Refugee Camp, 10mins walk from the hostel at 8.15 in the AM. It is 1km squared with 16,000 people living there. I will update this blog tomorrow as we experience our first full day in Jenin, in beautiful Palestine.

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Ask D'Mine: Shooting Blanks and the (Sugary) Hair of the Dog

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Ask D'Mine: Shooting Blanks and the (Sugary) Hair of the Dog

A note from our veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois: Today's post is Rated PG-13. Actually, the weekend edition of Ask D'Mine is always Rated PG-13, and I don't think today's post is any further across the Rubicon than we usually go. But people get funny talking about reproductive issues, so forewarned is forearmed: Today we gotta talk about male "thingies" to answer a reader's question. Read on at your own risk!

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Email us at [email protected]

Howard, type 1 from Ohio, writes: Is there any truth to the fact that there's some sort of neuropathy that can cause a guy to... How do I say this? Shoot blanks (if you know what I mean)?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Neuropathy is an equal-opportunity destroyer of nerve cells, and you'd be surprised at all the obtuse parts of your body that need happily functioning nerves to work as designed. When it comes to neuropathy most people only think of their feet, but there are a host of neuropathies that can affect body systems as diverse and wide ranging as your optic nerve, your intestines, your sweat glands, your lungs, your heart, and more. In fact, depressingly, neuropathies can affect literally every organ system in your body.

So it should come as no surprise that neuropathy can also effect your bladder. And that gets to the root of your question, Howard. Firing blanks is medically known as retrograde ejaculation, and understanding it requires a brief discussion of how the male plumbing is designed, and how a male orgasm works. (Ah. Thus our reminder above to read my column to yourself before reading it out-loud to your kids.)

Let's talk male orgasms first. Most men would agree that this is a good way to start the day. The end by-product of a male orgasm, biologically, is semen. Semen has sperm in it, but it's quite a bit more than just sperm.

Now sperm is made in the testicles, but semen is not. Ha! I bet even most of you guys didn't know that. Yep, all that comes from the family jewels are those squiggly cells. They get shuttled up a delivery tube called the vas deferens, kinda like those pneumatic tubes at the drive-through bank. The tube goes up and around the top of the bladder and back down to the base, where it and hooks into the seminal vesicle, which is basically part of the prostate gland. Here the spermies get mixed with fluids from both glands to make semen. If you want to get all medical about it, the process is called spermatogenesis.

Trivia tip: the white stuff in ejaculate is largely sperm food, and includes fructose!

Once the sperm cells (180 million potential babies in a typical ejaculation) are mixed in with the seminal fluids in the vicinity of the prostrate, they are shot up the urethra to their ultimate destination.

Uh... Wait a minute. Isn't that the same tube guys pee through? Yes. Hasn't it ever occurred to you to wonder why a guy doesn't pee when he cums? It's the same pipe after all. The urethra is the only tube in the penis.

May I introduce you to the bladder sphincter? It's a muscle group used to close off the bladder-end of the urethra. It holds urine in the bladder when you're not peeing, and also keeps the door to the bladder closed when a man is having an ejaculation.

Unless neuropathy is effecting it, keeping it from closing properly. Then, thanks to fluid dynamics, the semen takes the path of least resistance. If the bladder sphincter is open, the ejaculation takes a wrong turn after leaving the prostrate and goes up and into the bladder rather than up the penis and out of the body. So there you have it. High blood sugar can quite literally cause you to screw yourself instead of your partner.

Actually, the whole thing isn't as bad as it sounds. The poor guy still has an orgasm, and still feels like he had one, but nothing comes out. For this reason, retrograde ejaculation is sometimes called dry orgasm. It's actually quite harmless except perhaps to your ego, your career as a male porn star, or to family planning—as it's a cause of male infertility. Oh, and the semen gets mixed in with the contents of the bladder and gets peed out later as cloudy urine.

(Can you believe that I actually get paid to talk about male orgasm before breakfast??)

Because of its biologically harmless nature, retrograde ejaculation is generally left untreated unless a couple wants kids. At that point the first option is to take some drugs before sex to try to tighten up the bladder sphincter. There are three broad categories, and interestingly, they fall into the families of tricyclic antidepressants, antihistamines, and decongestants. Surgery is sometimes, but rarely, done to try and fix the problem, while artificial insemination of one sort or another is generally considered the best workaround when meds fail to fix the problem.

So there you have it. Strange but true. Diabetes (uncontrolled) can cause a guy to shoot blanks.

Veronica, pre-diabetic from Hawaii, asks: If I eat any type of starch my blood sugar rises, but if I eat things with sugar in them it doesn't, in fact my blood sugar goes down. Is that normal?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: In my deepest heart of hearts I believe there's nothing "normal" about diabetes. But, seriously, here's what I've observed about food and blood sugar. Mind you, this isn't some clinically validated study from the Ivory Tower folks, but in my six years of working with around 300 people with pre-diabetes and diabetes, I've noticed that most of us can "handle" three of the following five groups of "white" foods:

Non-liquid sugar (candy bars, doughnuts, etc)

Potatoes (including fries, chips, and baked)

Rice (including chips and flour)

Flour (including pasta, damn it!)

And corn (including fresh, tortillas, and chips)

Don't ask me why this is. I don't know, and I don't even have a theory. Some people can eat a plate of spaghetti just fine, but a baked potato will knock them on their asses. For someone else, the potato causes no problem but walking past an Italian restaurant will spike their blood sugar. Even very small quantities of these personalized "bad" foods will send someone sensitive to them sky-high. Myself, I seem to be overly sensitive to flour. One single frickin' Zesta cracker can send me to 350 mg/dL, even with the proper insulin dosed for it.

So I've seen for myself that different broad categories of food effect different PWDs differently -- generally either having major upwards effects, or very little effect at all on blood sugar. But lowering your blood sugar by eating sugar?

That's a bit different.

Are you a skinny pre-diabetic, perchance? The reason I ask is that in skinny people who don't generally eat a lot of sugar, we sometimes see an over-production of insulin in response to a sugar load. I can recall two cases off the top of my head. In one case a girl who had an oral glucose tolerance test passed out from a low about an hour later. Her body over-pumped her full on insulin in response to the flood of sugar we poured down her gullet.

Oops.

In the other case, a guy went to an all-you-can-eat waffle breakfast with his new girlfriend, pigged-out and also consumed quite a bit of maple syrup, and went hypo. Just the opposite of what you'd expect, or what he deserved.

Neither person took any diabetes meds. It was just a case of their bodies over-reacting. Kinda uncommon, but it happens. So I'm thinking that might be the case with you and sugar. Your body freaks out when you eat sugar, squirts out more insulin than it can normally muster, and Presto, Change-O! Your blood sugar drops.

But, normal? No. That makes you a very abnormal kind of person with diabetes—one who can treat her high blood sugar by eating sugar. So for you, it might be like taking a nip of the hair of the dog that bit you.

You lucky dog, you.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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