#its gonna keep me on track :>

[skyeateyourdonuts]

okie gn (when i get home at least lol)

#i havent slept since this time yesterday #im hungy #and i have a sinus headache #BUUUUT #im in a superb mood rn like im so happy #my bio mates are so nice and i asked them to make a study group w me!!! #which is like!!!!! were all gonna do so well bc were gonna be studying together!!! #im so proud bc i was brainstorming how to ask for the Rest of the class #its gonna keep me on track :> #and they said my outfit was cute #and someone complimented my hair EEEEEE #oh and one big problem (that i feel largely ashamed of and wont even speak of despite it not being That big) #WAS SOLVED #no more agony #just nap :> im gonna take a big ass Sleep when i get home #charge my phone munch and Slumber #oh and cheers to wonderful uber drivers that despite my hesitance in convo r brightening my day!! #kinda missing some fresh gideon and harrow smooching fanfic But. Hey. #thats a gift for qhen i find a new one in my free time hehehe #dreamy sigh #what a wonderful day

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

[dekarios]

You can talk about it and I don't think you ever stop missing dogs. I lost one this time last year and still miss her and I still miss the my dog that passed in 2012 too. They are family as far as I am concerned and you will probably always miss her.

Hope you are well and if you need to talk about it please do.

thank u this message rly helped

#fray.txt #ask #Anonymous #i miss my pippy too and i still talk about her like shes with us and send her pics when i show my dogs #and shes been gone awhile now.... i dont actually keep track of the dates ngl #i feel like toos just . touched me in a way that . idk . she was my therapy dog she was everything to me . #when i was at my most delusional i thought we were literal soulmates and spiritually connected and stuff #and when i was at my lowest i told her that im gonna stay alive for her. and that when shes gone i'll go too #its so hard breaking a dumb promise i should have never made #but life without her is so considerably worse . getting up out of bed is agony. doing anything just sucks #i cant do Anything without someone encouraging me cuz she would follow me everywhere without fail and shes not there anymore #i still have her beds in my room #i dont have her toys anymore cuz i buried them with her. she took one of my favourite blankets too #god i wish i could just . loop the last 10 years for the rest of my life #never ending cycle of getting her and losing her #i would do it again and again and again . she was the best thing that ever happened to me

[hiding-under-the-willow]

look at my fanfic boy

#atlas.art #artists on tumblr #who killed markiplier #wkm oc #markiplier tv #it feels so weird posting on ao3 for the first time in 2 years I have to keep telling myself it's just for funnsies it's not that serious #anyways read it or whatever lol #do links still stop stuff from showing up in tags? I can't keep track of the bugs on this website at this point #this silly cover drawing took so long I literally gave up on shading it its just been haunting me in the photoshop menu for like a month #it's fucking cool though #for the record I've got like eight chapters written for this already I just have not decided on a posting schedule yet #probably once a week until I catch up with the backlog at that point I make no promises in terms of timely updates lol #anyways I'm gonna stop rambling in the tags because at this point I think I'm just stalling posting this #inheritancefic

[bedardconnor]

on todays episode of the veteran nhl players on bedsys team wont pass to him while he's wide open, we see how the veteran nhl players on bedsys team wont pass to him while he's wide open

#LIKE LMAOOOO #i cant be the only one who notices this #but also like #i understand bc ppl are like “yeah but the other team totally has a plan for when bedard gets the puck they will just hit him etc.” #Like i Know that #but a good team should also have a Counter play to that strategy #also as defencemen.. while i do like seeing my fav at my position... get him OUT of there he will not shine there #its not even about like just passing to him cuz hes bedard its about just missing open opportunities.. #chicagos set up in the attack zone kinda. sucks. sometimes it feels like im watching the same thing over and over again and it doesnt work #they keep lying on the tracks and letting the train run em over! and run em over! and run em over! #m gonna keep my mouf shut from here on tho bc i KNOW there will be some hockey dudebros that might try to come at me for my SUMMARIZED idea #even tho ive been to coaching and reffing clinics for elite hockey and have been playing for over a decade #connor bedard #nhl #hockey

[deacf-coffee-is-a-sin]

yall i know im late to the party but u HAVE to read 13 storeys by jonathan sims. holy fucking shit this book was so fucking good

#deacf talks #like omg im gonna be thinking abt this nonstop for like the next week lmaoo #like omg i loved seeing the progression of everyone showing up in each others storeys and trying to piece together everything #like i wasnt too into it at 1st bc this book kept getting marketed as like 'pure horror'which it really isnt at least to me. at most its #just extremely unsettling. Which is good!! some of the storeys like jason and Anna /really/ unsettled me!! #but yea its def not the straight horror all the quotes on the book made it out to be #its mainly reflective? if that makes sense #like all of the stories have the central theme of 'capitalism sucks!' and u get to see how either bc of their complicity with the struggles #of the working class below them or the struggles they face as being the working class influence the horrors they face #while also tying into fells misdeeds!! and its just so good #and it made me like sit there and while also trying to piece everything together be like 'capitalism Does suck :|' lmaoo #this is one of the few books where im REALLY looking forward to a reread bc i want to mark the book up #an keep track of who show up where and my own opinions on why these ppl r facing their specific brand of 'haunting' and how it ties to fell #but like!! yea!! i know im making no sense here lol im just trying to get my thought in order lmaoo #so many times id read like a sentence or paragraph and hear it in johnnys voice. like DAMN id love to get my hands on an audiobook #but go read the book!! its so fucked up in a good way! #but im gonna go Insane thinking abt this book lmaoo #thirteen storeys

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

this is such an indulgent au I made for myself that's not even related to selfshipping but i love to imagine the dexholders in a filipino school setting where some of the kids are part of the class officers and this is definitely based on my irl experiences with my old class when I was elementary to... freshman. <3

#ill just ramble in the tags from here on out #the class batch counts from the kanto to the hoenn dexholders - since they're all the most tied to one another #the officer list might change but the ones ive definitely settled were like #blue. he's the president of the class - he's quiet smart but handsome and would be a teacher's pet because he's also oak's grandson #red is vice president - he's a goofy compared to blue but he still has that vibe of someone you can absolutely rely on (and he does it) #would sometimes get told off by blue for being too carefree with his duties but they still go well together as a duo #i think i wrote secretary for crystal!! since crystal would definitely have a lot of biodata on her pokemon #it's only natrual that she'd be pretty good at being a secretary #in my class being a secretary means to keep track of students' attendances and names - basically writing a lot of things! #she's the smartest i like to think shes probably in the same ranking as blue (high honor students) #red is around the middle #green is the treasurer! (i was the treasurer last school year actually) #now i know this ones such a wild one because green is noctorious for being a good thief but that also means you cant outsmart her with money #and she's sure to keep the money safe. maybe she would spend the money secretly for her personal wants but she refills the amount she paid #<- i totally did that. nobody from my class knows me here so i can say this with full confidence AKSJSJAJJSJSJD #except its not for personal its for emergency LMAO like getting plete for tricycle n shit #looking at my notes apparently i wrote that sapphire and gold should be sergeants - i mean. i mean they can do the job but like #they're also kinda. insane so like - that's gonna be funny #sergeants are supposed to watch for their classmate's misconduct or stop anyone from fighting or whatever #that's all i wrote - i left the rest blank #about sapphire - i totally see her in my old classmate who was crazy about anime boys (except its franticshipping) #she's aggressive (to boys especially) but she also gets super UWU OMG KYAA BOYS <3 bitch THAT'S LITERALLY SAPPHIRE AND RUBY #that girl also acts tsundere at times so like. yeah you're sapphire coded girlie #ok thats all.... #i kept this au to myself for like 2 months now PGPPTPTPTPGTP #pokespe hours #🍀 jil's rambling

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

Court of the Undying Seasons

NA high fantasy

demigirl volunteers to be taken by the vampires instead of her friend intending to kill them for revenge, but quickly learns that’ll be impossible unless she becomes one

she has to get through her training to become a vampire or live as a human thrall, and quickly gets swept up in their world - and discovers a string of murders that could have dire consequences for them all

#Court of the Undying Seasons #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #ok i was kinda hoping this would be more me than most things in its genre niche....but is just kinda is that #why is the main couple a thing? what is the attraction? i feel like I skipped half a book. you’re gonna kill him right #just really did not get that at all lmao. ur usual dark fantasy romance i gues #it’s kind of pitched as ‘she wants to kill vamps!!!’ but like. she immediately learns that’ll be too hard and basically forgets about it lo #i feel like the courts being named after colours reads. well you know it reads like the stereotype of YA with different factions to choose #but I guess I get that if they were called by their alt names it would have been a lot of confusing info to keep track of #the mc being a demigirl is pretty subtle #if you’re looking for it you can see the trans coding #but if you weren’t I feel like it might just read as girl who’s slightly uncomfortable with her appearance… #which is fine I guess. but just so you know if you're picking it up for that #also picked it up for ace side characters but like…. it’s not rly like the authors other books #there’s vague mentions but tbqh I’ve forgotten who is supposed to be ace #(probably because I read like 6 other books between starting and finishing this) #also genderfluid side character who is like. treated as two different people when they’re girl or boy version? #which is sort of treated as a vampire thing but i thought it felt odd #anyway all in all not entirely bad just not for me at all lol

[toerrishumansodontbeone]

Bg3 update: why are they ALL british?

#i guess thats the safest choice in not offending anyone #😔 #forced to be british by game #also damn combat is difficult....this is...VERY dnd mechanics.... #also npcs should keep their opinions to themselves n not judge me for wanting to do a quest cus I wanna play thr damn game!!! #sry astarion but im gonna game even if u disapprove #all the ppl Im supposed to save keep dying lol #got locked in a conversation while a trap was shooting my whole party full of arrows oops #this could reall use some AI mode for the party npcs...for my soft brain #its so much to keep track of #n those icons r so little... #vermin chat

[zarafey]

"yeah sure ill start the legacy dlc, looking forward to finally finding out some more about corypheus!"

"hmm its getting a bit late but im pretty sure im almost done, it hasn't been very hard yet and the boss fight is probably not gonna take too much time"

"oh fuck that spinny attack just killed 2 of my characters. Thank god Anders is still alive!"

"oh fuck Anders is dead"

"ok now i know what he does, im prepared, i know what to do for that other phase. I can do the spinny fire thing"

"phew that was anxiety inducing, thank god thats over now, back to the easy fighting!"

"oh no not again"

"WHY IS THERE A MAZE"

"oh no oh god oh no nononon wtf wtf wtf whdhdhdhek AHHHHHHH"

~ short excerpts of Zara wildly miscaculating a boss encounter

#Whyy whyyy is this boss fight so hard #Corypheus wasnt that hard in my Inquisition playthrough and theres hes the actual endgame boss. This time hes just a dlc boss! #Im playing on normal mode pls everything else was relatively easy up until now #Ive very recently very late into endgame discovered cross class combos pls you cant expect me to keep track of like 5 different mechanics #The maze is not even the end... #Not gonna try again right now bc its one am and im way to keyed up to calmly get through that #However atp i also cant sleep bc im still slightly shaky from the adrenaline so...

[pinnithin]

had to explain to my new psychiatrist that the reason i have an unlocked unregistered loaded firearm in my home is not at all for suicidal reasons and i was just raised in missouri

#im still getting used to new england tbh #i told my guy in idaho this same thing a couple years back and he was like yeah alright tracks #this new lady is cool but also she seemed very alarmed and it took me a second to be like oh right #theres like #gun laws here #i live alone! its one thing if you have children or something but like #if i need my gun i need it right then im not wasting time unlocking + getting out the ammo + loading the clip + putting the clip in #i just keep the clip loaded and not in the gun its just in the case in there separately #no chance of misfiring or anything #pin talks #not like shes gonna report me or anything its just funny to me #no maam you dont have to worry about me using the gun on myself or anyone else #my fatal american need is alcoholism not second amendment rights

[xviruserrorx]

Title: "Turn Back Time"

I'm always so late to these buts it all good. Super duper late for @flashfictionfridayofficial ! This one got me all confused with past and future references but I got it and hopefully it's clear enough in this. Enjoy!

Flash Fiction Friday - Tumblr | Ao3 - [Prev <- • -> Next]

[#FFF237 A Fool's Quest]

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Prompt(s): A Fools Quest

Relationship(s): Merlin & Leon

Character(s): Merlin, Sir Leon

Important Tag(s): Immortal Leon, Time Traveler Merlin, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Arguing

Rating: Gen

Warning(s): None

Word Count: 1092

“We can go back!” Merlin continued. “No, we can't.” “You don't know—” “I'm right here! And so are you! Isn't that enough?” Or Returning back from the seventh century, Merlin comes to Leon with the grand plan to take Past-Leon and himself back to the start of Camelot and their story. Except, what happens when Leon has already lived Merlin's future?

Immortal & Time Traveler AU - Tumblr | Ao3

->Previous: "We'll Sing a Song of Days Gone By" - Tumblr | Ao3

->Next: N/A

Continue reading below or over on Ao3

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Leon threw the sheets aside and climbed out of bed. The pouring rain clamored as he ran a hand over his face. 

He heard the pounding of the door which had drawn him out of bed in the first place.

“Coming!” He fiddled with the locks. Perhaps it was Ms Wilson and her cat again, though she never had bothered him so late at—

“Leon, I've figured it out!” 

He moved out of the way as the all too familiar voice barreled past him and into his living room. He shut the door from the rain and turned on the lamp.

Merlin turned on his heels to face him. His hair was soaked, smushed against his head as his clothes—a tunic and trousers and an out of place trenchcoat—were no better. Water dripped off him as his chest heaved; a wild grin on his face.

“I see you're here.” Leon yawned. “Figured what out?”

“Remember when I told you that—”

He held out his hand. “Jacket.”

Merlin shrugged his arms out and handed it over. 

Leon shook it before tossing it over the back of his couch.

“Remember when—

“Shower.” He pointed down the hallway.

“Leon!” Merlin groaned.

“You're soaking my carpet, thank you very much.” Leon gestured to the wet spot below him. “Down the hall, door on the right. Put those clothes in the basket by the corner.”

He watched Merlin and his reluctance disappear down the hall before he made his way into the kitchen. He winced as he switched on the lights and grabbed everything for breakfast. The sound of the shower started as he cracked one too many eggs for just two people.

Two batches of toast had finished as he heard the shower eventually stop. The creak of the bathroom door and sock feet against the kitchen tile followed as he turned off the burner and platted everything.

“Breakfast.” He turned around and put the plate down on the counter. Merlin stood in new clothes and a towel wrapped around his neck. “Didn't know if you wanted coffee, tea, or orange juice so I served you all three.”

Merlin shot him a grin and grabbed the coffee, holding and savoring the warmth before he took a sip. “There were already clothes laid out when I went into the bathroom.”

He watched as Merlin had no regard for pacing as he grabbed his silverware and started to devour the foot on the plate.

Leon cocked his head. “Got a feeling last night. Didn't think I was gonna be right.”

“You never do,” he mumbled from behind the toast and eggs shoved in his mouth.

Leon rolled his eyes. “Chew. Don't need you choking and dying on eggs and toast.”

“Wouldn't be the worst way I've died.” He licked off some yolk that had dropped on his thumb.

He shook his head and leaned back on the counter. “So let's see. Tunic and those shoes I'm guessing, ninth century?”

He cocked a grin and waited for Merlin to tease back or to let him bask in his glory, but it never came. 

Merlin slowed down, put down the fork and knife as he slowly finished what was in his mouth. He cleared his throat. “Seventh…” 

He felt his heart drop.

“But listen—”

“Listen?” He scoffed. “I lived it, Merlin. Thousand and thousands of years ago. I know why you're here and it doesn't end good.”

“What we talked about—”

“We? You mean the me that was still grieving losing everyone and so desperate to have it all back?” He put down his coffee.

Merlin recoiled. “I thought you would be happy?”

“Merlin…”

“Why did you never tell me about this? Huh?” He retorted. “We could have done it and…”

“We made a deal?” He reminded him. “I never tell you anything that you've done or will do and you don't tell me anything that I will do either. I thought of it for a reason, Merlin.”

“We didn't understand how this all worked then, now we do!” 

Leon sighed.

“We can go back!” Merlin continued.

“No, we can't.”

“You don't know—”

“Except, I do!” He tried to reason. “I already lived your future, I know what happens. I understood how it all worked, from that moment on, but I knew you wouldn't until just now. It was to protect you; to protect me too.”

“No,” Merlin continued to protest. “The plan, it's flawless. Nothing can—

“There's nothing left back there, Merlin!” Leon finally snapped. “It's all just memories. Nothing you do will change anything! Nothing will bring them back! No matter what you change, no matter what you do, they all still die.” He let out a scoff. “And I've had to wait decades—centuries, for when they come back just so they all can die again and again.”

He looked at Merlin as he tightened his jaw, clenching as his glossed over eyes broke and his tears fell free.

“Don't you get it…” he softened his voice. “You are going place to place seeing the different versions of them in rapid succession, you haven't lived the space in between where they don't breathe.”

Merlin tightened his fist as his side.

“I'm right here! And so are you!” He continued, bordering on begging. “Isn't that enough?”

Merlin wiped at his face. “I'm sorry.” He stood and walked out of the kitchen.

“Merlin!” He found himself running after him.

“I have to Leon.” He grabbed his coat off the couch.

Leon stopped at the threshold of the living room, not allowing himself to move further. “Don't,” he said.

Merlin put his hand on the doorknob, then paused. “When you see me next, keep our promise. I'm a few thousand years younger and I don't know any of this. I'll go figure out why future-you tended to be a bit more protective and snippy with me.”

“Merlin…” It was all he could say. He couldn't find himself with more to stop him, as if he really could.

“Please, understand.”

He gave Merlin a sad grin, fighting a grimace as he sniffed and looked away. “Then, Go.” He couldn't meet his eyes knowing what happened—what was going to happen all the same.

Merlin nodded, unbothered to wipe away his own tears. “Goodbye, Leon.”

He stayed as if waiting for him to say something, but Leon refused to look up. Eyes pressed shut as he heard Merlin sniffle, the door knob turned and the sound of the storm grew loud before being muffled again by the door closing shut.

#virusfanfic #bbc merlin #flash fiction friday #time traveler merlin #immortal leon #immortal & time traveler au #merlin emrys #sir leon #merleon #the off mention of the neighbor and the cat makes me want to write chaotic leon adventures with that XD #i was gonna make this like an actual multi chapter fic but gosh is it hard keeping track of two separate intertwining timelines #especially with who knows what when and where at what point and so im not gonna do a multi chap fic #but im just gonna keep doing little one shots/two-shots that does connect the different timelines #but in a 'you have to put it together yourself' kinda way because its easiest for me 😅

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #man the second artfight ends someone remind me to start working on my selfship blog FOR REAL. i keep putting it off but i have so many #things to post about my little f/os oguhg </3 wanna make it look all pretty first and draw all the little things for it :> #anyway hi happy artfight!! my drawing tablet broke </3 im working on attacks with my sib's tablet. i am trying very hard. #i have some things queued to post though its mostly easy things and things i already had tags for in my drafts #im so. tired. feeling a little inadequate because it feels like i cant keep up with anything. im behind on af attacks and talking to people #and my queue and sht (i have so many drafts) and i want to do everything and im gwaughhh that i cant #but i know its just ''dont trust anything after 9 pm'' thoughts. im doing well. im making progress. i literally made a spreadsheet and can #visibly track the progress im making. im working on 25+ attacks. im trying. i give myself a lot of work and im doing my best #almost 4 am oh no! still gotta brush my teeth; thats why im still awake really otherwise id be snork mimimi-ing it up <3 #changed my discord avatar to an attack my friend moss drew for me <3 its of my boy stickers i love him!! #tomorrow im gonna work on a background for one of my animated pieces maybe <3 #hm... do i have any other updates... man i guess thats it :P #i love you <33 hope you're all well <3

[thedemonsurfer]

having nerve damage in the tip of my middle finger is really inconvenient when that's the finger i use for the trackpad

today is a 'vague hurty/achy feeling' day and i want to gnaw it like a cat that doesn't understand Why something feels like it does, only that it's Annoying

#wear thimbles when you sew kids #and dont get into the habit of pushing the needle through the fabric with your fingertip #coencidentally do you know how often you bang your fingertips into things every day? #its a lot 8'D #i've never had this diagnosed by a doctor #but it p much feels like there's a bruise there when there's nothing visible #and it's been that way for like 4+ years now #i thought it was a bone bruise but since it hasn't improved with me taking a hiatus from cons i'm p sure its nerve damage #and what is a doc gonna say anyway #“wear a thimble and try not to bang your hands into things” #banging my fingertip into things hurts like a BITCH btw #so im so glad that I have the neurological disorder that impacts my brain's ability to keep track of my extremities /sarcasm

[llumimoon]

me sleeping like a baby while mentally putting normal through the horrors

#cal rambles #listen. if i like a character i put them through some awful shit <3 theres always a happy ending tho #cannot keep track of how many aus i have made with the sole purpose of Hey Wouldnt It Be Fucked Up If That Happened To Normal #its very fun to me <3 #ANYWAYS if i wake up and Taylor is still losing i will sob #will still try and finish most of thr requests #but if u already voted before u saw the post or i were already gonna vote taylor ur low priority atm #unless ur oc or character looks cool as fuck that automatically rockets u to the top tbh JWVWGAHAGAHHA #listennn i havent gotten to draw in a while i think these quick doodles r actually helping me a lot

[floorpancakes]

recently ive become a mawarin meki childhood friends truther and i cant wait to write a whole bunch of it

they were clearly already friends before tanuki came into the picture but i like the idea that it goes back further and mawarin was the first to reach out and that while these two were the popular ones of the friend group in highschool they were also weird kids once (they're still both pretty weird. nothing about this friendship group is normal)

like mawarin is pretty good at holding in the things that make her different from other people (to the extent she seems like a normal friendly girl that could get along with anybody) but I keep thinking abt the idea of meki being kind of a loner for ages and being shunned by his classmates and stuff. after a point he probably wouldnt care but mawarin seems like the type to reach out even if she knows it could get complicated cause of her bad luck curse/non curse situation. like shes so much of a sunshine character its kind of hard to dim that kind of light. anyway I feel like even if she got deterred by the people around her she WOULD go up and make friends with the weird kid, and WOULD go do that again a second time no matter what (even if the latter is the type of guy who hisses at people).

plus its a good intersection of the traits of like

- meki is noted specifically as having a rough time growing up from being sick, spiritual nonsense and also the whole Situation (which I am choosing to interpret as trans stuff but like in general)

- watanuki being the latecomer to the friend group, and also notably a lot more of a loner rather than the popular type so he was probably adopted into a preexisting friendship at some point

I just like the idea that mawarin has an affinity for bringing weird kids out of their respective shells and that all three of them kinda see themselves in each other as individuals and a group bcs it adds an added layer of sentimentality to what's already been established. and its very found family vibes. I rly like the framework of what's already there in canon but my brain wants to make it even more compelling so it comes uff with stuff like this out of nowhere lol

anyway imagine if mekis mind was already set after the rain incident but himawari comes up to him one day like 'so like theres this kid in our year with no friends and i think he needs somebody cause he keeps eating alone at lunch can we keep him' 😭 like he's some sort of cat in need (he is) (thats exactly what he is)

and doumeki immediately is like yeah go for it (hes already had a life altering experience and at this point without himawari even knowing he's basically ride or die for the guy at first sight)

i like the idea that this like a lot of other things in the story is cyclical idk how to end this thought anyway this probably doesn't make sense im sick and thinking about holic is a good distraction

#apologies for having 95849495959 nicknames for every character from every series ever #i am aware it can become borderline unrecognisable but thats just who i am #when i start writing my original characters for heart render visual novel its gonna start getting so hard to keep track apologies in advanc #anyway #xxxholic #listen i came up with the idea a while ago and got REALLLLLY into the concept #oddly specific holic thoughts #thinking abt meki going from being picked on to being mega popular #then immediately realising its kind of a pain and being like lmao fuck that #then immediately becoming head over heels in love with the weirdest loneliest hissing at people est circus clown he meets #truly a disorganised ramble just bear with me on this #hope this makes sense to somebody #theyd probably make friends in middle school or sometime slightly beforehand #sometime when doumekis already kinda settled into his idgaf era but not enough that he feels fully ok about being alone #middle school class rep mawarin being surprised all her friends want her to stay away from the weird kid that eats alone in the corner #i feel like meki would get a reputation for saying weird shit and living at the temple and being 'haunted' and creepy and quiet #along with all the other stuff #him having a different but similar reputation to watanuki as a kid just kinda checks out to me