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#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION
puppyeared
·
7 months
Text
ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL
#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed
#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH
#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would
#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing
#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late
#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed
#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either
#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember
#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either
#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with
#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure
#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION
#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real
#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and
#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT
#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without
#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY
#yapping
#doodles
#puppysona
#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule
#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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