Hi guys, it's been a while. I've been busy dealing with all sorts of stuff in my off time, which I'll detail a little bit more in the tags for those who might be interested.
The important part is that I've been doing a lot better recently after taking some time off to focus on myself. Now that my semester is over, I think it might be time to start posting here again. And with that, I'd also like to announce some new changes to things.
1. I will now officially be covering fandoms outside of Madness Combat.
Don't get me wrong, Madcom will always be important to me, and I'll always be writing lots of stuff for it (esp the AU :D), but I'd like to expand my writing to cover more topics occasionally too. I feel like limiting myself might do more to inhibit my creativity than not, yk. 🤷♀️
I'll definitely be adding OFF to the list, but I'll have to do more thinking about what other games, other media, etc. to cover.
Do feel free to suggest some as well! I am genuinely curious as to what you all would be interested in. 👀👀👀
2. This blog will be changing in its appearance, so there will be a period where everything looks weird for a little bit lol.
Self-explanatory enough: I love the theme we have going, but I feel like it's time for a change. New year, new me, and all that. (Also, my PFP might change too, so don't panic if you don't see the bird guy pop up lol.)
And that's all. Thank you all for reading as always, and I hope you all have been well during my break! <3
Ps. And additionally, a huge thank you to @eldritch-bunny and @peacu0231 for your well wishes, as well as the Anons who've sent in similar messages too. I can't express how much it meant to me (like, it legit made me cry at the time lol), I just appreciate it a lot. <333)
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hiii girlies (gn!) i haves a mini update for you all on my life.
first and foremost:
it has been completed ‼️ i literally spent the last few days maxing out the tree and statues i never wanna step foot in the desert again :,)
second: i have officially signed my nda’s so my meetings will from now on take more productive strides !! (project manager tee is sailing steadily hehe ;D) anddd my first event is coming up on the 21st and i’m rly nervous i hope everything runs smoothly and i don’t rly wanna stand around and shake hands all day and meet ppl but :,) i must be a good representative or wtv they say so yeah. BUT !! the company’s taking us out to dinner after so 😌 i will be fine dining hehe. i still need to get an outfit sobs so i will be dress shopping soon—i will buy a lovely dress that has satoru’s nose bleeding
third: i am adding a surprise kinktober fic. y’all will just have to keep your eyes peeled during october and see
fourth: i have a giant bruise on my thigh and i have no idea where it came from but my leg is ACHING and i just wanted to share with you all my extremely sad misfortune so i hope you all feel terrible for me bc it’s a very difficult time right now. kidding kidding i’m fine but i’m like rly confused ?!? where did that come from 😭
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DF: I think at this rate these two disasters are going to have their wedding/official demonic mates thing when the fic series hits the Bible word count.
We are at 480,000+ words for the series, and the Bible is 780,000+ words. It is, entirely possible, considering my painstakingly slow pace for developing the relationship between these two.
300,000+ more words to go... sighs...
The slow burn hurts me too, believe it or not guys (´;ω;`). But we'll get there, probably, if I can keep up the motivation somehow.
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thank you so much to everyone who's been supporting my bag store! you're all absolute stars, and have been helping me out so much as i try to drag myself across the minimum income threshold for self-employed in the UK. i'm almost there!
there's 4 drinks totes left, 3 fruit totes, 2 oranges totes and just 1 mushroom tote left at reallyhardy.store, plus as winter approaches and cold and flu season comes upon us i also have a few simple folded face masks on there too.
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Other people's AUs are so cool i wish i felt my AUs are cool instead of being passionate about them for two (2) days then waiting to polish them before i post them but get burnt out on them after a week and end up only using it as another fancy context to daydream about ethubs in. My life is miserable
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Mutuals <3 ...remember one year ago when I lost my sanity for 3 weeks or so because I finally decided to contact my long-lost side of the family... I just received the contact info for the last remaining person that I haven't had the chance to talk with. And I feel... whole.
I'm not even sure I want to talk to that person, but I now have the option to do so if I want to. It's about access. It's about being able to choose my relationships for myself instead of having someone else tell me who to know and who to forcibly forget, and decide for me who gets to be called 'family' and who doesn't.
However imperfect, I can now point to a certain group of people and say "this is my bio family and this is where I come from". I wasn't able to do that before, and it ate me up and gnawed away at my soul to the point where I didn't even know I existed to other people because I was a void to myself. It's like I'm slowly but surely materializing, as I look in the mirror and am able to say 'oh there's someone there in flesh and blood, not just a theoretical concept, and this person's shape is good and healthy and pretty'. Seriously, it's like a ghost received a body. FUCK it feels good.
At last, I'm in control of my relationships. I can choose. I can do whatever I want. I undid the past that happened to me. Hallelujah.
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Pasta!!! This is a wellness check!!! How are you!!! Are u taking care of yourself I know it’s been stressful!!! Do you need anything!!!! idk why I’m screaming
Ty for checking in, friend! Tbh I feel a bit like Unikitty towards the end of the Lego Movie as I attempt stay positive.
Sis bought me some emotional support pancakes today though so that was nice. Logistically I keep telling myself I don't need to worry since Fam is helping, that all I have to do is let the bank do its thing, but it's definitely stressful so I didn't get much done today. I did finally got my assembly instructions for my dresser, at least, so that's something even though I'm a little nervous to start considering my run of bad luck.
Need... idk. Just having general support and people checking in is nice though and makes it not seem so bad. The downside of being in a newish city is I don't really have any friends yet to go zone out with or talk to, so it really does help. A friend sent me a little comfort doodle of Matt giving me a hug so that was nice too. Honestly it'd be a lot worse emotionally if I didn't have the support from ya'll and I'm grateful for it.
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got another medical procedure in the hospital in a few days, i dont know how to feel about this anymore.
The apathy I feel every time they threaten my situation with cancer while giving zero effective treatment literally numbs my senses. Im just tired of them, im tired of this illness. i bow to nothing and to no one , but what im dealing with is far too complex to be resolved under sheer determination. i just wish i wish i didnt have to ever experience such a fucking nightmare to begin with, my heart burns with the heartache of enduring this state and what it leaves me with every single day that passes. It breaks my spirit to even dare let myself linger over how strong i used to be in the past, the countless atrocities i survived with my body shouldering through it all and yet its now when i finally left the abusive life & household i rotted in so long ago that this goddamned illness struck me.
Theres nothing i can do at the moment but allow myself any significant bit of rest and whatever self compassion i can try muster, whatever happens, ill see what ill be able to do.
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