#its been so long since i had BIG FEELINGS for fictional characters idk what to do about it lmao

[alchemiclee]

jing yuan seems so sad and distant and lonely, especially watching his closest friends fall apart again and again....he's in so much anguish. it makes me wonder how he's still holding it together. how is he not completely broken yet like all his old friends...he must be really strong.

#sometimes I feel like the mara is knocking on his door and i'm so scared for him 😭 #i wish to see him be able to move on and open up to others. form new bonds and not bury himself in work and keep a distance #that could save him at least for a while. but i mean its hoyo. they cant be trusted with any of these characters LMAO #i just have big soft jing yuan feelings. hes a sad wet can of an old man and i had a dream i held him gently #very awkwardly though since hes LARGE and im kinda smol lmao #i also wosh for blade to be held gently 😭 #and dan heng needs a big tight hug by his express friends. i will send march and stelle to his room to snuggle him #its been so long since i had BIG FEELINGS for fictional characters idk what to do about it lmao #between these star rail boys and in genshin the fontaine siblings......S I G H S #oops im procrastinating my art again....

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

#ask #too much art talk in this one

[wibixthecowboy]

Play the Song: Part 6: A Little Quieter

Task Force 141 needs a new sniper and despite their complaints, they're assigned Flash, a joke-making, ABBA-listening, 20-year-old sharpshooter with better aim than the whole team combined. In other words, Ghost is practically handed the love of his life but he needs time to adjust because she's a firecracker.  

UPDATED TAGS PLEASE READ

Warnings/Tags: !graphic depictions of panic attacks!, references to suicide attempts (no descriptions), references to SA (no descriptions), Age gap (20/30-32), gore, descriptions of injury/blood/wounds, swearing, weapons, justified angst, tooth rotting fluff, I can fix him he just needs a hug, warning for an excessively bad taste in music, slow burn, protective ghost, family dynamic, big brother soap has an attitude problem, father figure Price, wholesome brother Gaz, touch starved Ghost, eventual smut, praise, thigh riding, unprotected (wrap it up people), size kink, oral f receiving, ghost will do anything to get his dick sucked, idk I’m sure it will get dirtier as I go, shifting POV

A/N: Here is the long chapter I promised you! Sorry its so late... I may have indulged in a glass of wine.. or two.. so after I re-edit tomorrow it might be an entirely new chapter. OKAY IM DONE TALKING NOW ENJOY!

Words: 4.2k 

Side note: All of these characters are fictional! Please don’t be weird about their real life actors, leave them out of this and be respectful!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

★Flash

Flash wakes quietly, eyes blinking open to see a dark expanse of a desert, and she has a blissful few moments of tranquility before her dreams come rushing back.

Her cheeks flush when she turns to Ghost, there was no way he could tell what her dreams had been about, but the thought of him somehow seeing the rated R images her mind conjured up horrifies her. Being so busy at the academy, even with her own room, leaving little time to indulge in more carnal desires. It had been years since Flash had even kissed someone, meaning it took an embarrassingly small amount of action to light the candle nestled between her thighs. In her defense, Ghost wasn’t much better, when he had stood between her knees that first night, Flash could see the way his hands shook with nerves and the uneven rise and fall of his chest. If it hadn’t been for his tense posture when leaving the bathroom, she would have guessed he’d, well, relieved himself. The thought of him getting off to her has Flash pressing her thighs together in embarrassment. Jesus, she needed to get her shit together.

Once she’s collected her thoughts enough to focus on their surroundings, Flash notices the music is playing again, this time at a lower volume. She smiles softly at the image of him turning on her music and flipping through the songs.

“Do you like the music?” She murmurs, stifling a yawn with her hand. Ghost turns quickly to look at her, he must’ve not noticed her earlier fidgeting. He clears his throat before answering. Flash finds his embarrassment endearing.

“I’m usually too busy to think about listening to music,” He drums his fingers against the wheel once before continuing. His voice is softer this time, “Yes I’m enjoying it.”

Flash feels her smile grow at his admittance, giddy at the idea of him opening up, to her no less. She wants to press, to ask him about his favorite genre, if he has one, or if he’s ever listened to ABBA (a personal favorite of hers). But she schools her excitement, knowing pushing would get her nothing. She chooses a safer response.

“I’m glad.” She resists the urge to reach out and touch him, fingers itching to peel the mask up over the cut on his chin and patch it up herself, the blood has soaked through the dark material and wound a path down his neck. She instead settles on resting her head against the seat to watch him as he drives, doing her best to ignore his exposed forearms and the way they flex whenever he makes a turn.

“Me too.” This new side of Ghost has Flash melting into her seat, the gruff man that was shoving her to the side just the day before was peacefully sitting next to her listening to Fleetwood Mac. Oh, the wonders of the world.

_____

Even in the dark, Flash is still able to see the rough outline of the compound. The area is dimly lit with small orange lights glowing around the perimeter of the concrete building, giving it an almost halo effect. It’s a lot smaller than she was expecting, dwarfed by the staggering height of the academy, the compound and its attached airport were pitiful.

When Ghost stops the van in front of the building he’s quick to step out and start towards the compound, leaving Flash scrambling to collect her things and jog after him.

“What’s with the rush big guy?” She says, feeling more at ease after their less than life changing conversation.

“I have things I need to do.” His tone is short and as soon as he finishes, Flash realizes that the sort of comradery that they had going in the van was no longer an option, her smile falters a bit, but she doesn’t let it ruin her entire mood.

While they were still in their friendship arc, Ghost had told her about Gaz. He’d mentioned that they might get along well, as long as she didn’t take his title. It took her a few minutes of pestering and promising to be silent for the rest of the ride to get Ghost to admit that Gaz is the proclaimed baby of the group. Supposedly, Price let him have first dibs on seconds. She made a bet that she’d have his spot in less than three days, and she was ready to get her 20 dollars.

Ghost holds the door open for her and watches as she thumps through the small space with her bag. When she turns to thank him, he’s already made it halfway down a hallway to their left. Flash huffs a breath in his direction and turns back to survey the large room in front of her. It's cozier than she was expecting. Although the room is made entirely of concrete, a handful of mismatched rugs make it feel less industrial. To her right, opposite the hallway of doors, is a small kitchen, separated from the rest of the room with a curved counter space. It has a small stove, fridge, and a table that looks like it's been taken out of an REI magazine with its bench seats. Further into the space, there’s a cobbled together living room, two worn armchairs facing a hideous orange loveseat.

There's three men there now, watching a black and white film on the small tv perched atop a rickety wardrobe. All three turn to look at Flash when the door closes loudly behind her. She gives them a sheepish smile.

“Hi?”

“Flash!” Soap jumps over the arm of the loveseat and walks towards her. “I thought we agreed Ghost was going to leave you with the cargo.” He teases.

When he gets close enough, Flash shoves his shoulder.

“And I here I thought I’d finally found my team.” She retorts and relishes in the pinch of his brow. He opens his mouth but a hand clamps down on his shoulder before he can speak. Vargas, or Alejandro as Ghost had called him in the van, steps around Soap to smile at Flash.

“If it isn’t our little Protector de Fantasmas.” He says slyly.

It takes Flash a moment but when she’s able to decipher what he said her body stiffens.

“Relax Rubia, word spreads fast around here.” Alejandro leans against Soap’s shoulder with an elbow, much to his annoyance. “He told me you had two of his men down before Ghost had recovered. That’s some impressive work.”

“I didn’t end up here by getting lucky.” She says and immediately regrets it. Flash is so used to defending her position that she doesn’t even recognize his words as a compliment, but from the earnest look on his face, she can tell he means it.

“Luck has nothing to do with it.” He says with a half smile and Flash returns it in full, hoping it would smooth over her harsh comment.

Soap clears his throat and shoves Alejandro’s arm off his shoulder, supposedly done with their conversation. He turns away from her to gesture at the third man who is hovering a few feet away from the group.

“Flash, this is Gaz.”

He’s younger than she expected, and cuter too. He looks like a cover model for an airport magazine, bronzed skin and perfectly straight teeth that make her flush when he smiles. A classic case of too handsome to be human. She wants to ask him what position he played on his high school rugby team but decides against it at the last minute. First impressions are important.

“Hi.” She says and sticks a hand out, kicking herself for being so formal.

He takes her hand but instead of shaking it, he pulls her into a hug, clapping her on the back a few times. Flash is so close she can smell the remnants of his cologne, she can’t quite place it, but it brings her back to the Hollister across from her favorite smoothie shop.

When he releases her, the bag hanging from her hand weighs a few more pounds, and her cheeks burn a bit hotter.

“Welcome to the team Flash.” Gaz bumps against Soap’s shoulder a bit rougher than necessary. “I’m excited to have someone to talk to from this century.”

Soap shoves him back and gives him a pointed glare,

“What the fuck do ya’ mean?”

“I mean,” Gaz gets out between his laughter, “I don’t always want to hear about your suffering during the potato famine.”

Flash laughs loudly at this, once again basking in Soap's wounded expression. Maybe she would have to become allies with Gaz instead. Alejandro shakes his head at them before interrupting their squabble.

“I’m heading out if this is what our conversations have divulged.” He grabs his things from the endearingly rustic table and salutes Flash. “See you soon Rubia.”

She salutes back and ignores Soap and Gaz’s offended looks, watching Alejandro leave through the same door she and Ghost had entered through.

“Let me show you to your room,” Gaz says, apparently done with his pestering, and Flash realizes halfway through a yawn, how tired she is.

“That would be amazing.” She says with a sleepy smile.

Gaz leads her and a moping Soap down the same hallway Ghost had disappeared through and stops in front of the second to the last door.

“This will be your room for now,” He gestures to the solid oak door and grimaces before continuing, “The building was not built with the expectation of women so the bathroom is shared between two rooms. I’m sure you and Ghost can figure out a system.”

Flash’s eyes widen at his words. She’d be sharing a bathroom with Ghost? Jesus have mercy on her poor soul.

“Ghost? You mean I can’t share with you? Or Price?” Gaz seems to catch onto her panic and lets out a barking laugh.

“No sadly I have to share a bathroom with this pig of a man,” He says and kicks Soap in the foot. She almost feels bad for him. Almost. “And Price got the only room with an attached bathroom.”

Flash curses and takes a steeling breath. This is far from the worst thing she’s endured. But the idea of sharing such an intimate space with such a private person has her heart racing.

“I’m sure it won't be much different from your dorms.” Soap says and Flash can’t believe she’s gotten both pity and reassurance from the two. She really must have drawn the short straw.

“I had my own rooms at the academy.” She grumbles and both men look at her in disbelief so she awkwardly pieces together an explanation, “When you’re young and better than a lot of men, they like to find ways to keep their ego inflated. Nothing too bad ever happened. It was more of a precaution.”

Flash feels awkward opening up to two people she’s known less than a week, but it gives her a sense of relief to finally tell someone. Soap gives her a sad smile and Gaz rests a warm hand on her shoulder.

“You won't have to worry about that here then. Go in and get settled, we already ate but you’re free to have whatever’s in the fridge.” Gaz gives her another one of his dazzling smiles and turns to leave with Soap.

Flash is quick to shut herself in the room, already blinking back tears. So this is what they meant when the other recruits talked about finding a family. All of her years of training suddenly feel worth it.

She bites her tongue as another wave of emotion rolls over at the sight of her room. It actually looks like a bedroom. A large bed takes up most of the space, framed by two small nightstands, and a plain oak wardrobe rests against the far wall next to a full mirror. It's simple, but the warm light spilling from the bedside lamp ties the room together with a gold bow.

What she see’s next though, has her heart leaping into her throat. Her iPod has been set on the nightstand, next to the carefully wrapped shape of her headphones that she’d so carelessly left in the van. He’d been in here?

Flash sets her bag on the bed before walking carefully through the door to her left, not wanting to risk a creaking board under the carpet. They definitely didn’t hold back this time. A long counter with two porcelain sinks stretches the distance of the bathroom, across from it, there’s not only a standing shower but a large clawfoot bathtub. It's been years since Flash has taken a real bath and she nearly caves at the sight of it. The door at the far side of the room keeps her focused. Still stepping lightly, she stops right in front of the door and raises her fist to knock against it. She hesitates at first, her fist only gliding across the wood surface before she’s knocking harder.

There’s no answer at first, but when she knocks again she hears a muffled come in. Flash falters for a moment, she hadn’t prepared for him to actually answer. She takes a deep breath and turns the handle, pushing the door open.

The breath she’d taken is immediately knocked from her chest when she sees Ghost writing at a desk. He’s dressed down to a tight black shirt and a pair of jeans, an outfit that despite its conservativeness, has Flash feeling like she needs to cover her eyes. The balaclava is crooked at his neck, obviously hastily put on, and the thought of him sitting just a room away without it makes her stomach flip.

“Can I help you?” His rough voice has whatever sad excuse Flash had for interrupting him flying out of her head. She recovers quickly though.

“I wanted to thank you for bringing my things in.” She says quietly and he just shrugs, not looking up from his journal.

Flash hovers for a second, looking around his room in hopes to find another conversation starter. Ghost’s room is nearly identical to hers, sans desk. His bed is rumpled but the rest of his room is in near perfect condition. When her eyes land on the small stack of books on his wardrobe she sees her opportunity.

“Could I borrow a book?” He does look up at this, wordlessly glancing between her and the stack. “I forgot my charger and I have a hard time falling asleep without my music. Maybe if I read I can bore myself to sleep, not that you’re books are boring! I just mean it might be relaxing.” She knows she’s rambling but she’s to distracted by the tilt of his head to care.

“Go ahead.” He says, waving a careless hand toward them and returning to his task

Flash quickly walks to the stack, grabs the first one, and retreats back to the doorway. It’s clear that he’s waiting for her to leave, but she can’t bring herself to shut the door behind her.

“How does your chin feel? That guy hit you pretty hard.” She says hesitantly.

“I cleaned it.” Ghost huffs in an uninterested tone.

“Are you sure? It looked bad from where I was sitting.”

There are a few seconds of silence and during them, Flash watches Ghost relax a bit further into the wooden chair.

“I’m fine Flash” His voice is softer now, and when he says her name, a warm shiver runs up her spine.

“Okay then, well, goodnight?” It comes out as more of a question and she kicks herself for being so easily affected. He doesn’t respond right away and she’s about to close the door when he finally speaks up,

“Goodnight.” She almost misses it, but when she hears his quiet reply she practically slams the door shut, running through the bathroom and throwing herself onto the bed.

It takes a tremendous amount of strength to peel herself from the covers to clean up in the bathroom and it takes even more to not look at every product he has next to the sink and in the shower.

When she's finally settled, old western novel in hand, she doesn't even make it through the first page before nodding off.

______

Their little dance goes on like this for the next two weeks. Despite her constant protesting, Flash is left at the compound to train with Price while Soap, Gaz, and Ghost run through several small busts. None of them memorable enough to recount when she comes barreling into his room upon his return. Her presence has become more bearable. After seeing their team's appointed psychiatrist, he’d been put on a heavier dose of anxiety medication. When Price found out, he insisted that Ghost also make a point to talk to the doctor about his problems. Claiming that their team needed him at his strongest. That's where he is today. Sitting in the conference room, now a makeshift therapy room.

Comforted by the notion of doctor-patient confidentiality, Ghost lets the hard set of his shoulders relax against the green armchair of the psychiatrists office. Opposite of him sitting at a large oak desk, Dr. Marks, a balding eccentric psychiatrist who he’d been becoming more familiar with over the last two weeks. The doctor sighs as he flips through the various medical records in Ghost’s file before closing it entirely and shoving it to the side of his desk.

“And you said that your only side effect has been trouble falling asleep?” He didn’t want to admit it, but the pills have been helping. He’s only taken them a handful of times since having the dosage upped, but they did their job a bit too well. With a clearer mind, Ghost is able to identify his source of panic much quicker, but that also meant that nights spent alone were filled with images that he simultaneously craved and loathed. That had been their topic of conversation this past week, Ghost’s unflinching desire for domestic life.

“Yes.” Ghost mutters.

“I can prescribe you a light sedative, nothing too strong, and in a small amount. You can refill it as you run out.” Dr. Marks leans back in his rather antique looking leather chair and rubs a hand against the silver scruff on his jaw, giving him that same sad smile. “I’m sure you can understand why.”

Ghost gives him a curt nod, not wanting to open up more room for discussion on the subject.

The doctor seems to pick up on it and swiftly changes the topic, already used to Ghost’s aversions to that certain page in his file.

“Have you thought any more about what I told you last session?” Dr. Marks asks softly.

“I’ve thought about it, yes.” Ghost says, avoiding eye contact by picking at the rough linen fabric of his own armchair.

“And?”

“It’s not going to happen.”

When Ghost looks up he can see the pity in the doctor's eyes. It’s seemingly the only way people know how to look at him like he's something that’s needing coddling. Except for her, and that’s his problem.

“There is still an opportunity for happiness, it’s in there Simon. When you’re ready to bear it, it will find its way back to you.”

“How can it find me if I can’t even find myself.” Ghost sags further into the cushion of the armchair, choosing to observe the dark wood grain of the desk rather than the eyes staring straight through him. He already regrets opening his mouth.

“You’re a lot closer to finding yourself than you think. Sometimes we need assistance though, and that’s okay.”

Ghost huffs a quiet laugh at his words and stands, ready to be out of the suddenly stifling atmosphere. Dr. Marks stands with him, reaching a hand across the table. When Ghost takes it, rather than shaking them, the doctor rests his other hand on top and gives their clasping hands a gentle squeeze.

“You’re still young. Don’t let your past control your future, it can be suffocating but you’re stronger than you think.” Dr. Marks gives him a kinder look now, one that has Ghost’s throat tightening. He needs to get out.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. I’ll let you know when the prescription comes in, I don’t have a small enough dose I can give you now but it shouldn’t be too long.” It’s again followed by the same ‘I feel guilty but don’t know what to say' look that he dreads so much.

Ghost gives him another nod and covers the space between his chair and the door in just a few strides, opening and closing it quickly without looking back.

Before he even reaches the doorway he can hear her laugh. A bright sound that warms his chest and leaves him a bit breathless. When he does walk into the room he sees Flash, Soap, and Gaz sitting around the kitchen table arguing over a card game. From the looks of it, Soap is losing, he’s slumped back against the wall glaring daggers at Gaz while drawing cards from the main deck.

Ghost turns to look at Price who is sitting in one of the two armchairs facing the kitchen, watching the three with a smile on his face. He strides over and takes the chair next to him.

“How’d it go?” Price’s eyes don’t leave the group.

“Better. I’m getting something to help with my sleep.” He says with a sigh.

Price does turn to look at him now, brows furrowing.

“We won’t have any problems will we?” Ghost feels the burn of shame on his cheeks.

“No. Small doses.”

“Good.”

They go silent after that. Both turn to focus back on the rowdy group. Ghost finds himself zoning in on Flash. Her laughter has turned the apples of her cheeks a rosy pink and even from across the room he can see the way her eyes shine. That same tingling tightness that has plagued Ghost for the past week returns at the sight, squeezing the breath out of his lungs in a warm embrace.

“She’s a sweet one that girl.” Price says, gesturing towards Flash with the bottle in his hand. “It makes me worry.”

Gaz, taking advantage of Soap’s bathroom break, has started slipping cards into his hand left on the table. Flash is bent at the waist laughing, wiping away tears, and begging Gaz to stop before he returns.

“I wouldn’t.” Ghost says distractedly. Price raises an eyebrow at him.

“You would know?” Price’s gaze softens as he takes in Ghost watching her. “You’ve taken a liking to her then?”

Ghost stiffens at his words but doesn’t bother arguing, Price is the only one he doesn’t bother lying to. He’s able to see through Ghost’s rough exterior wall too easily.

“You know I can’t.” Ghost's voice is a near whisper.

“It’s not against code, young as she is she’s just as much of a Lieutenant as you are.” Price says softly. Ghost turns to look at him, missing Soap’s boisterous reaction to his now deck of a hand.

“We both know it’s not that.” He mutters.

“You can’t shut everyone out forever Ghost.” Price says before taking a sip out of his bottle.

Ghost is about to tell Price that he absolutely can when a voice shouts across the room for him,

“C’mon Ghost! Come play with us!” Flash yells while beaming in his direction and Ghost feels his knees weaken at her excitement over him playing a game, it was usually quite the opposite. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d sat and listened to Soap and Gaz complain about having to be on his team. It was never done on purpose, but it still struck that small chord that rested at the base of his skull. The one that was currently urging him to take the seat next to Flash and forget about the warning sirens going off in every other part of his brain.

“I’m heading off to bed.” He says instead, knowing nothing good would come of it. Flash frowns at him for a moment but then shrugs her shoulders. He stands from the chair and starts towards the hallway of rooms.

“Awe well I’ll just take Soap up on his offer. He said we could go,” Flash scrunches her nose and turns a questioning gaze to Soap, ”what did you say?”

Soap looks at Ghost with a devilish smirk and even though he’s speaking to Flash, Soap keeps his eyes locked with Ghosts.

“I said we could go practice her poker with Alejandro’s boys.” Soap says simply. Ghost freezes and all earlier hesitation evaporates.

“How do you play the game?”

#ghost x reader #Ghost x female oc #simon riley #cod fic #simon ghost riley #Slow burn #family dynamic #modern warefare 2 #ghost stories #soap #mw2 headcannons #mw2 smut #ghost likes his hair pulled

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I've been seeing the whole Cyprus thing reaction and I'm curious about something, all your oc have been comfort characters, even if not for you, with comfort in mind I imagine, and while Yves is the epitomy of perfect comfort Cyprus is an interesting different angle, while harsh, the idea about breaking out of the day to day routine and, as you said, a tale bout beating addictions, the last takes seemed harsh

you said he was an attention grab project for you, and clearly you succeeded but now want to just throw him out, putting some traits that make someone unlikable pretty easy and then doubling down so there's no doubt, and the reactions I've seen of 'i can't believe I liked him' 'i drew him' and so on, I get it, while he wasn't what I imagined from the first chapter, he had some somewhat redeemable traits, but now it feels like someone pulled the rug

As in even if you personally didn't liked him anymore, or ever, I thought you would let him fade for a while, like your other 1st gen oc, for lack of interest about writing for them, all of this to ask why is that? I'm not criticizing, I love all your works, been here for a long while and still hooked as the first day

I mean is your character, you can say he is whatever and since he is yours well then that's canon, as I said I'm just surprised of how vilified he's been made recently

ykno how this blog is basically copium for me and i use it as like a comforting teddy bear. But another lesser known use for this website is something to help me process and make sense of the shittiness of the world

So actually all my ocs has at least some component that's strongly inspired by people in my life, like Yves- exaggerated traits that i liked in my parents and friends, Blanche- exaggerated traits that i liked in my grandma etc etc so these are the comfort side

the thing is Cyprus is always meant to be this way from the beginning 😭😭😭the source material being all the things i hated about my dad, the machoness, coerciveness, bigotry, tough love upbringing on his kids and all that jazz, the stuff that made me go ouch for many years- so cyprus isn't even a fictional character anymore like my 1st gen ocs, its literally a retelling of what i disliked the most about my father and trying to make it palatable enough to innoculate myself from the real thing- but Cyprus is just gross to me

The true nasty side of him wasn't revealed early on bcasye,ykno,,,, i love and want clout 👉👈,,,, there were a couple of asks about his view on kids, i already had that piece written out but i waited to post it only when its confirmed he's the most popular one. I was going to scare away a lot of people if I just go high octane piece of shit on him

I truly loved my 1st gen ocs, they bring me a hella ton of comfort but like it isn't as effective as Yves, I will be churning out more and more ocs just to chase that high or relief from da horrors of da world. So i just let them fade a way and go into a comatose state (me not writing about them) because i still do wanna revisit them one day and i do not want them to go out in pain and hated

Gonna be honest with you chief idk wtf is Cyprus to me now, like he is not giving me comfort in a traditional sense like Yves or Blanche, or Yan big brother, but he STILL is giving me a sense of like relief and catharsis by letting me write him into this asshole im having to face irl, like i converted an attention grab to another one of my copium- when Cyprus was in his like golden problem child phase where everyone likes him except the author, he wasn't copium, dude

only after i vilified him (and received a bunch of horrified responses and a couple of hate asks as a result) did he do something to make me feel good, like Yves level good but in the opposite direction, like the Yin to Yves's Yang of comfort

Like i definitely will still write about Cyprus, he's just the black sheep of the comfort family and even tho i do joke a lot about this being an attempt to remove as much of my reader's favour for him so i can just eradicate him without a lot of uproar, its never really the case. Cyprus is transformed to another outlet for me to express my thoughts and feelings about stuff i fuckin hate irl but will have to face regularly [i will slow down on the cyprus posting tho cause i am going back to Yves as like a knee jerk reflex]

Cyprus was meant to be hated, but with how the world works, there will be people who still love him and take him in as their wet rat. So i wouldn't say that he's my most unpopular oc after i fleshed out the shit side of him, just the most divisive one- he's like fuckin vegemite, you either hate him with a burning passion or love him and want to slob on his knob

anyways here is your hot cup of Yappuchino served with a side of Yappanese sponge cake. Enjoyszss and thanks for the askkkk

#yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere concept #male yandere oc x reader #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #tw yandere #oc cyprus

[multi-lefaiye]

!!!!! multi!!! im glad youre back!! ive missed seeing your icon on my dash! ive been working so much on my silly little stories with my silly little guys, idk if ive told you about them but its my time traveling story, im finally beefing my characters and getting to know them better! ive been using a prompt list for june and forcing myself to write something for this story everyday and its been going really well!! (i can tell you more if youd like) i keep making everything really sad and tragic tho..... dunno whats up with that lmao. is there anything youve been working on recently??

RUNS AT YOU hiiiii!! :D yeah yeah!!! i never like. reallly left but i'm not gonna pretend i haven't been a bit MIA lmao......... have not had the energy to engage with people that much lately. BUT today is a new day and i am beating the sleeby boy allegations.

YEAH YOU'VE TOLD ME A LITTLE!!! oh that's so fucking cool OMG i'm so excited you're having so much fun with them and developing them more! i love your little guys okay they mean SO MUCH to me!!! and OHHH YES YES HELLO??? okay, if you don't mind, can you PLEASE send some of that my way??? or if you want please feel free to tag me in it if you post it! because i love your stuff so so much and i want to go off the shits.

and regardless, you're always welcome to come into my inbox and talk to me about what you're working on. at all times. i encourage you to do it!!!!! also that's so real. something about giving fictional people problems........ intoxicating.

but yes yes!!! so like i said i haven't had much energy to work on stuff lately, but i do have some things i've been bouncing around! a big thing is a tftgs fanfic character study i'm tentatively titling "in case you don't live forever," centered around jack and his relationship with his ex-girlfriend sabine.

sabine is such a fascinating character to me for loads of reasons, many of them being the fact that we learn basically nothing about her. she is the epitome of a character who haunts the narrative, at least in my opinion, and this started as like... me exploring what i think she was like. what kind of person she was. it then evolved into an exploration of what might've happened if sabine had *lived* and gotten to be happy.

so it's an au where she and jack run away together and start a new life in a new state. it's super emotional and tender and sweet and writing it is really cathartic and healing for me. i'm also using it as an opportunity to explore concepts that are tried and true multi-lefaiye classics: mental health, trauma, queerness, and how they all blend together at times. most of all, though, it's about healing.

i'm including an excerpt under the cut!

It’s just after two in the morning on a Saturday night in mid-2007, and for the last time, Sabine Lemoyne stands alone in her childhood bedroom.

She’s had this room since she was eight, and the decorations haven’t changed much in the following decade. The walls are the same soft, muted purple she adored growing up, plastered with posters for old movies and bands she hasn’t listened to in years, and it nicely complements the pink shag carpet beneath her feet. Her immaculate bedspread is bright and cheery, covered in colorful illustrations of grinning flowers and vibrant greenery. Her favorite childhood stuffed animal, a little pink cat named Eevie, sits on the desk across from her bed, watching her with vacant glass eyes.

Her room has always brought her some modicum of comfort, a sanctuary of peace and solitude in a tumultuous world, but now, standing in the mausoleum of times long since passed, it feels stifling. She can’t breathe in here.

Sabine has to leave. And that’s exactly what she intends to do.

The duffel bag on her bed has been packed for days now, and she’s only just finished packing the backpack leaning against it. Inside the duffel bag, she’s packed clothes, books, and an extra pair of shoes; the backpack, meanwhile, holds her toiletries, six hundred dollars in cash, and two laminated folders. Inside one folder are two bus tickets, set for departure in one hour.

#talk to the bunnykitty #multi's writing #tftgs posting #whisper!!! #whisper my dear friend i hope u are doing well #very happy to hear from u!!! #pls tell me all about your blorbos

[demadogs]

what do u think the st fandom is gonna be like after s5 drops and finishes.. like idk but I've just been wondering cuz this is the last time we're getting a new season 🤔 do you think it's gonna stick around or what? I noticed that usually after every season the fandom goes kinda radio silent after around a month but the fandoms still actually p active after s4 so. I wonder if the potential spin off is gonna keep the popularity up or even surpass it a la brba and better call saul(not that I think st is as good as those shows but I think they're both kinda iconic in their own ways)

i think stranger things will have a similar kinda legacy and impact as harry potter. the last movie came out in 2011 and its still a MASSIVE fandom and community that write, make fanart, make edits and gifs, collect merch, the whole shebang. the storys long done but the fandom has never died. i just went on ao3 and guess how many pages i had to go through just to reach a fic that came out more that two days ago….. TWENTY!!!!!???

stranger things is one of the only fandoms for a fictional media ive seen that is similar to the size and commitment of the harry potter fandom. i would say star wars also is a close comparison but a lot of people have mixed feelings about all the new ones (rightfully so honestly. daisy ridley slays but why the fuck did reylo kiss. thats not at all how you write enemies to lovers.) most star wars fans just love the classics like empire strikes back so the fandom isnt as strong as harry potter. and it doesnt really feel too much like a fandom in the same way that stranger things and harry potter do. i could go on about this but i’ll go back to my original point.

i dont think any passage of time will negatively affect the success of this show. you know how youve probably seen a bunch of iconic classic movies from the 70s, 80s, and 90s that your family got you to watch? this will be the show of the 2010s that future generations will watch because their parents loved it. its not even that the show will go down in history, it already has!! its so cool to really look into how much of an impact this show has actually made. im really glad ive been able to witness it and have been watching the show since it first came out.

another thing that’ll probably keep this show iconic and new generations watching it is the kid actors. these are all of their first “big break”. theyre all probably gonna go on to play so many more iconic roles into their adulthood and eventually people will look at them in stranger things in the same way that we currently look at young winona ryder in beetlejuice. thats mad trippy to think about tho. in my head theyre all perpetually 14.

i think this fandom will always be active because there is just SO MUCH to talk about!!!! and this would be the case no matter what they ended up doing with the relationships and characters, but once byler is canon that’ll definitely play a huge role in keeping the fandom alive. people who have never seen the show will probably start watching it after they hear that the main characters are gay. no one will ever stop writing byler fics. people who really really love a specific couple or ship dont ever really lose interest. if you love the characters and love them together, that love never just goes away and people will ALWAYS want more content so theyll always love reading fics and seeing fanart. snowbaz is a good example of this. i read carry on when i was 16. i just turned 23 and i read snowbaz fanfiction all the fucking time. im currently reading one thats amazing and they update weekly and every monday i get so excited to read a story from characters that i was introduced to SEVEN YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!! that’ll probably be the same case for byler. and lumax too.

i think the spinoffs will definitely be talked about but i dont think theyll be the reason the fandom stays alive. i honestly kinda would rather it be more separate from the og stranger things. i hope its good and treated in the same way that fantastic beasts was treated and not the shitty new star wars movies. and you didnt ask this but i also have a hunch that the spinoff will be about kali.

to sum all that up, no i dont think this fandom will ever die. its so iconic.

#this ask is literally from october im sorry its a good question that i have many thoughts on idk why i never answered it #i could write a whole paper about the impact this show has had on society and the film industry #stranger things #byler #eden answers

[hellfiremunsonn]

(im in my mid twenties but this is a little tmi and embarrassing so I dont want it linked to my account)

So. I have slightly uneven boobs, no big deal some people do. I've always been slightly insecure and a guy once said "its just a handful but thats ok" and then next sentence make comments about how they aren't even and how I must pad my bra (bro hadn't even taken my bra off and I was like ok we're done).

My best friend got her nipples pierced and I told her I dont think I could because my nippers aren't pronounced all the time like hers. I showed her snd she only said "oh weird I thought everyone had nips like mine". We went on no big deal. I have thought about it since, cause I never thought someone's nipples were out when not hard? And like her nips weren't hard they became more pronounced after they were hard if that makes sense?? I was just like yeah I doubt I could get those piercings and moved on but I realized ok we dont all have the same nipples (I never really thought about it before)

Started kissing a guy recently. We hadn't really gotten into it, but he moved my top (i had on one of those tops with a bra built in cause if I can avoid a bra I will). He stopped and then legit made fun of my boobs. Because my nipples were flat? Like imagine a barbie, just round chest area no nipple. It isnt inverted you can see it. Its just...flat? If im cold or aroused my nip gets hard? Which is normal?? But i guess I am not normal?? Anyways this guy said a ton of shit, even offering to get me a boob job and a bbl?

Anyways this guy really fucked with my confidence and I was just like ok I either need to know if this is normal or not. My chest.. Or like, do all guys act like this cause the only other time a guy has seen me without a top we were definitely aroused and no comments were made. Like, I feel like a guy making fun of the person he's about to hook up with is in bad taste. I feel most guys wouldn't, at least the fictional characters I like wouldn't, but is this like a normal thing guys do or is he just a dick cause this is the second guy who has made comments so

Okay first of all men literally ain’t shit.

I know your friend didn’t mean any harm by those comments she made but that’s still a bummy thing to hear.

I HAVE UNEVEN BOOBS

And my nipples are never out unless I’m cold. They don’t get hard when I’m aroused either so they’re usually just like in that “soft puffy” state.

No two boobs are 100% symmetrical unless they’re “fake” I’m pretty sure so having uneven boobs is soooo normal I promise.

My left boob has always been bigger than my right. When I gained a bunch of weight it was still noticeable, and even now that I’ve lost all the weight cause of my meds, my boobs are still uneven!

They’re also no longer firm or perky because of this so thems bitches are a little saggy, and honestly I’ve never had someone say such off handed comments about them. My nipples literally basically point downward to the floor.

I have a short torso and a big ribcage so although my boobs are DD’s they look 10x bigger because I don’t have enough chest/torso space to even it out so they look extra massive and I hate it! It doesn’t help that I’m short either so I’m just this small bitch with big titties and I’m like pls I just wanted like a full B cup. BUT I WORK WITH WHAT I GOT.

Some people have two different sized boobs and one will be an entire cup size different!

AND A HANDFUL OF TIT IS STILL TIT SO THE MEN YOURE HANGING OUT WITH ARE JUST FUCKING TRASH.

(Like if u have a nipple, I’m putting it in my mouth I don’t care what size titties u got)

I’m pretty insecure about my boobs as well! But the way I’ve had sexual partners react to them has definitely helped because most men don’t care.

Idk where I intended on going with all of this but basically long story short, is that you don’t have to be insecure about them! Or feel SO insecure about them? We all have insecurities and stuff we don’t love about ourselves but everything about us makes us exactly that. US.

I’m sorry you’ve had people make comments like that, that’s a shitty thing to hear.

Here’s a picture of me where you can see the size difference to hopefully make u feel a little bit better.

I GOT SAGGY TITTIES AND A FLAT ASS BUT IM STILL OUT HERE GETTING BITCHES

(I yell into the void as if I’m actually getting bitches)

#hellfiremunsonn asks #tw weight #brief talk of weight gain and loss

[gayspock]

ok some thoughts

ok i do have complicated feelings on nat's death. firstly like air this one out rq: real fucking fuming that some ppl serioussllyyyyy are attacking freaking juliette for it, like? ok.... so your response to "its really fucked up that they killed nat who had finally found peace and was starting to overcome her addiction etc." was to attack the actress who has every right to leave a job if she wants to. i guess in other news 1+1=4.

but anyways sigh i have mixed feelings like.... i think theres a Part of me that kind of. ok. super unpopular opinion bc i know this ME & my own cyncism and "issues" or whatever & kinda shy to say this both bc it makes me look edgy as fuck but also like.... idk as someone whos had mental health problems, lets say, and has sort of resigned to this idea of like. oh i died a long time ago & theres a point in my life where i just think i stayed , and i dont think theres any way of going back, something something about living on borrowed time and it feeling meaningless . or whatever. stares at you pretend i didnt say all that. my point is i dont know i kind of- its bc i dont wannaaaa say ppl cant recover, that natalie was too far gone, this that and the other, bc i dont think you can make those judgements abt others (fictional or not) only yourself but... idk my point is. i fuckin get it when shes on the plane like that, as shes dying or just dying when she felt like she should have bc ever since its just been fucking horrible and well okay. sorry man i do kinda feel it even though i acknowledge its a shitty message.

i dont think it helps either that her "recovery arc" wadnt my favourite not bc i like. AGAIN im not saying this bc i dont think you can recover or get better its more like.. i was never a fan of the execution of it. i felt like it happened a bit too fast, and i would have preferred more scenes with natalie and lottie rather than natalie and lisa and natalie and the rest of the cult and i feel like that would have been more powerful to me bc the cult themselves feel kind of just... underdeveloped, and very much functional as a means for lottie and whats going on with her . i fully expect them to never be mentioned again after some point and to be completely ignored with the way this show has been going

and like i dont mind lisa that much but i dont now im kinda uninterested in characters that just get introduced and we immediately get SO much focus on them when theres, as i said , other more interesting and efficient ways to explore similar things (natalie and lottie a better dynamic for example) AND other stuff thats getting ignored big time.

like as an aside. i dont mind lisa as much BUT one example is also fucking walter and i dont like how theyre using him to kinda reduce misty to a bit of a joke AND cheap out on her own development (i think she can carry fine on her fucking own without him) but also bc he takes up so much runtime with his goofy little bits that just dont do it for me when again we're missing other shit from, like, FUCKING SIMONE FOR EXAMPLE whos barely been mentioned which is crazy. actually crazy. that she has barely been mentioned and tai's whole storyline has been ignored like that

but anyway even with lisa, i dont know- the whole thing with going to se her family, ugh... call me a jaded asshole, but like it just felt so. unsubtle. with the waythat whole scene was kinda executed. is that a cunt thing to say. but i dont know theres also other parts of the cult i just cant fuckin vibe with- i just feel like its so... clumsily done at times, and i cant quite articulate why i think that.

anyways . i get why a lot of ppl dont like natalies death in the end bc yeah it is kinda... a shitty message to send, even if i do kinda feel like well yeah damn yeah you know. but like also i do think theres the other obvious issue of like... with the way this show is, and as good as it is, i feel like theres gonna be more problems that develop and exacerbate over time. i really feel like they needed to introduce more characters earlier on and/or reveal less in present day bc whilst i dont think the tension is everything , and i dont think the shock value of ppl being hunted/dying in the past timeline is everything i do think its gonna have effects on the present time line and them trying to compensate. nd anyway now theyre just gonna do shit like try to tragically kill the women in the present vis a vis nat for like kinda no reason imo bc i do think it was . ultimately such a weird fucking way for her to die and to end even if i did resonate with her dying scene

and i do think there IS some bite that kinda being lost and its a bit weird when they write themselves into holes and have to try and flesh out new characters in the past that we know are just gonna straight up die so soon. a

its why i also didnt really like the idea of krystal. fuck i dont like the idea of krystal and walter being introduced to have a rapport with misty and i think thats just bc i LIKED her being alone . i liked no one fucking liking her. maybe its bc i projected too hard, but also its just like... i dont know it feels so fucking WEIRD that misty has had 0 friends and then she incidentally only just realises that some girl on the soccer team shes been orbitting for forever is like her type of weird and whatever whatever bah bah bah LIKE... theyre clearly trying to spin stuff for her to do, the same with the inclusion of walter, and its like. i dont know again in MY opinion and maybe its my fault for both projecting and setting an expectation but... i think a much more interesting thing to explore would be ownership of herself and her own fucking weirdness and being able to do that alone without needing the validAation of the others . am i crazy. like again i keep thinking abt her in the future and her and walt and ugh how much more i would love it if it was her fighting by herself to try and get natalie out of there. YES its harder to execute in a tv show but i do think it owuld be so much more interesting than taking the . in my opinion lazier route of just sticking in other characters to use to give her storylines

anyway what else was i gonna say fuck this was meant to be about natalie yeah like. thats also what im kinda mad at and why i dont like the inclusion of the extras like walter and lisa, like... i thinkits so much stronger when its just focussing on the dynamics of the girls (and their established ties, from the beginning of s1, i.e callie or simone, etc.) and i think mistys arc this season would have been better if it was a focus on her and nat, even if it was totally onesided rather than fucking walter and

ok im done can i also say. cant wait for shauna to ascend to antler queen in the current timeline. let her go fucking insane i say

#Egg.txt #yellowjackets liveblog

[southslates]

god that zk / d*rkalina post reminds me of why i left that fandom, i really hate how you can’t simply say you don’t like something without a bunch of people jumping on your back accusing you of ‘policing’ them or smth like how is me personally thinking something is gross affecting you? idk. esp since i’m black and they go doubly hard after me if i so much as imply that i don’t like something specifically because of racism / misogynoir.

it’s like when some atla fans get pissed off that not everyone likes aang. like he was never my favorite. after b3 / comics i actively dislike him. but every time i say i don’t like him i’m a monster who bullies 12 y/o and hates ‘non dramatic’ ships. like no, i… simply just do not like him. i never came for you. i just said i don’t like him and his (lack of) character development imo.

sorry for ranting in your inbox i am just sick of being demonized for not liking things by the so called ‘you do you’ crowd. ironically i feel like those white ‘fandom old’ types target people just as much as those they say they despise sometimes :/

right and the most annoying thing is that they claim they're all for you do you, but there's a difference between acknowledging something is unhealthy BUT fictional and romanticizing something that is unhealthy? some people don't seem to draw the line...and like i guess it's "you do you" and that's their business, but if we're going to state our opinions and accept that everyone's opinion is valid as long as they don't infringe upon other's opinions, then like....you can still be criticized

sorry you've dealt with misogynoir and racism in fandom, it really is sad how such a safe place ends up being a microcosm of the world that sometimes even amplifies its worst aspects in very insidious ways, because you leave your guard down when you're in fandom, you assume it's a safe space, and then...

i've always said i never dislike ships because of ships, but because of shippers. i loved darklina and i thought the dynamic was so cool to explore (as i said i've written several fics, like the first was when i was thirteen) but then the way i was harassed on twitter for disliking how people compared it to kanej in some form...ruined the ship for me. like, i never said don't ship it? i basically always said that darklina has a cool dynamic to explore but that i didn't want it to be canon because that is the normalization of abuse in its canonical interpretation. maybe there is a world where it could have been done and it being canon would not have been a bad impression on thirteen year old girls like me, the first time i read the grisha trilogy. but well, it isn't this one. i was there and i wish malina was better in the books lol so i would have found darklina less appealing.

but yes with the aang thing, too! i think the "you do you" anti harassment crowd has its extremes, especially when they defend racist and problematic behavior towards real life individuals in fandom as on the same tier of fictional interaction, especially because this defined "harassment" is not people venting on their accounts without instigating discourse. people will always have their opinions.

zk fandom has had a lot of issues with big name white fans conflating real problematic behavior within the fandom with general proship harassment. it's what drove me out of the fandom last year and i pray it will not happen again because it really really bothered me at the time

but anon i do empathize so so much with you <3 sucks that a supposed safe space like fandom still has so many complications--i just want to do my own thing, and that includes hating on things, in peace ✌️

#anon asks #anti darklina #dee rants #again not anti darklina. anti some aspects of the twitter fandom. but there are some zks who do ship darklina more so #for blacklisting #zutara fandom

[mithrilbookofmystery]

📓 👁👁

OK SO *slams down 30k words of draft* I know the original ask post said to talk about a fic I haven't written but haunts me, but believe me, this is fic is not written. We're like not even a quarter of the way through, most of this doc is notes, this fic have been haunting me since last june or so send help

So anyways. This is "the fic I'll never write" which I do have a tag about as you might have noticed, it's one of the very few things I have a tag for on here that's how much it's haunting me. I'm never going to publish this fic also, tho that's mainly bc A) it's way too fucking long B) the fandom and ship are both obscure as hell and C) its also embarrassing 😣 cringe is dead except when it's me and my fanned fictions. That being said, I'm calling the two guys A and B for simplicity's sake.

A and B hate each other's guts. They were friends once, but had a very big falling out with hurt feelings and bad miscommunications all around and basically they vowed to never talk to each other again. And then one day A wakes up and realizes that 1) his house got moved into while he was asleep(he is very ??? over this given that he was in the middle of moving in the day before; his house was basically empty 8 hours ago and now it is Not) and 2) B is coming over for lunch to pick up his stuff(????? This is even MORE confusing bc A is getting the vibe all of a sudden that they were in a relationship together? Which doesn't make sense bc he's not gay. Wait. Is he gay? What the fuck is going on???)

B comes over and they have a very stilted lunch (where it seems like B feels like something is off, too, but hes not saying anything...), B takes his stuff and leaves, and A spends the rest of the week alone in this house that he has both lived in for years and also Has Not and very confused about this new life he suddenly has.

And then A wakes up in a castle as the trusted advisor to the king in a medieval fantasy world and he is EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE!

Also the King is B. Great.

A spends a lot longer here than in the last universe (like 3/4 of a year), long enough for a magical war to come and pass, some character development shit to happen, and also for the King (who, again, is B) to fall in battle (and it's the one they win the war in too, RIP) and go into a Magical Nightmare Coma (bc they were warring with magical nightmare beasts). This is Bad, for a variety of reasons.

Now A is conflicted abt this bc B is his friend, bit also very much not, but that doesn't mean he wants him to die, but also the A of this universe, the advisor, is starting to get the idea to kill the king to get the throne... His death would be easy to explain away, given the circumstances...

A, instead, goes to find magicians to break the curse. This is the first good thing hes done all fic lmao

B wakes up, the kingdom throws a party, and that night, B tells A about how Something Strange has happened to him - he's not from here. From this world. He's from somewhere else, somewhere Different and in the Future but with no magic and he doesn't know how he got here or got to be possessing the king's body but he's been here for past like 3/4 of the year now and hes sorry for acting strangely if he has but he doesn't really know what to do-

A tells B that he's in the same boat, because he is. B realizes that this A is his A and he hates his A. So. B says some things he'll probably regret later bc being mean is the best defense he's learned against A's general air of uncaring-ness for the effects of his /j "jokes" (they're not jokes, half the time they're just mean, but anyways), and storms off.

The next day, A wakes up in a submarine. He thinks he is going to scream.

They go through....,,., a lot of universes. I think it's over 25 rn but idk. Some are shorter than others, the longest is like a year and a half but we'll get to that. The general arcs are:

1. The beginning bit (Just Broke Up, King/Advisor, Deep Sea Biologists (that ones just an excuse to stick them in a small space for a while to duke it out lmao), Astronauts (kinda same premise as last one but there's a third party now), Musicians, Wild West, Minecraft, Wizards, Desert Island (to quote the notes there, "they duke it out but calmer now"), semi-back in their home universe but something's Off, Superhero(B)/Supervillain(A))

In this part they start off hating each other, but slowly warm up to each other again by the Wizard universe (they're wizards there <3). They recognize that they're each other's only constant in this mess, so in the Desert Island 'verse, they agree to try and find each other right away in each new universe they wake up in (instead of messing around for a while before accidentally stumbling into each other like they'd done before). They debate about the versions of themselves they're possessing, with A very adamant about not changing each universe's lives too much, while B is willing to throw that out the window if keeping the status quo endangers each other. He's starting to like A as a friend again and doesn't want to have to tiptoe around him to compensate for this other life that was thrust upon him, sue him. This comes to a head at the end of the superhero verse when A foils his own plan to save B's life, revealing his own identity to the press in the process - VERY much changing the status quo of this A's life. B is very very confused and conflicted abt this but we don't know how A feels bc its B's POV this chapter.

Also it's worth noting that B still gets nightmares from getting attacked by a nightmare beast monster thing, and he will continue having them for the rest of the fic. They get a heck of a lot worse in the next one <3 and he doesn't tell A abt them until like 3 years into this bullshit

Also also they are so homesick already god bless

2. The Death Universes (the death universes) (this is the year and a half one btw)

They wake up in separate universes where the other is dead bc I love inflicting characters with hardships and problems and trauma <3

They get therapy in these ones too which helps them to like accept blame and shit when it comes to their old argument but also not blame themselves completely and break and also hold each other accountable more and in healthier ways

3. Post-Death bits AKA the rest of the fic p much (its like over half the fic I'm not listing all these out)

Points of interest:

- they reunite and are so so happy about it that they become codependent

- they go to a BOTW AU and B is Link and has amnesia but not just the B from the BOTW universe has it, the original B has it also and he. He fucking going through it man

- bc of the whole amnesia thing B starts thinking of himself where he's not really the B of whichever universe but hes also not really the original B either (tho that's always usually the one more in control each time); the two have kind of merged together, and each new universe creates a new version of B

- he goes with that for a while until it gives him an existential crisis and OG B starts maintaining his independence again

- anyways then they get more codependent <3 fruity edition

- they start to realize they're getting codependent and go :/ uh oh oopsie poopsie

- why did I say that I'm sorry

- anyways they try to homebrew some therapy for themselves but given their situation it's not exactly.. uh.... But tbh it's the best they got right now ngl. it works well enough

- it helps that the universe right after they agree to Spend Some Time Apart™️ they wind up in one where they physically cannot meet each other until they get to the end of it and have to make new friends along the way (Dead Gods AU my beloved....... <3)

- they get to a universe where they're Dads and Gay and Married and go 😳

- they only get fruitier from here

And then it vaguely ends around there. I don't really want to ever write an ending for it, if only bc it feels cheap to end it before they get home but also writing them going home feels wrong, but also, again, I'm never publishing this so I'm not too pressed about it

Saying that, I do want to share some bits from the scenes I have actually written that I'm proud of :3 A is red and B is blue. Sometimes the versions of themselves from a universe will have a different name and I do differentiate between the two; when that happens, the alternate universe versions will have a lighter color than OG A or B. Some of them aren't the same size so you'll have to tap the pics to read all of it

Their fight in the first universe, where they don't really know what's going on but they do know they have just recently broken up and are still very hurt abt that

P much the only scene written for the Superhero AU bit, mainly bc I know I cannot top this

There's a bit of a jump in their conversation between these two, but I hope it still makes sense. Mid-part 3, around the time when B's having his existential crisis and right when they start being fruity. (Pastel/Punk AU also High School AU but it's like the weird teen movie version of high school - they're a little weirded out by it lol)

And ofc Dead Gods AU my beloved <3

Also I made a playlist. They're not really in any particular order story-wise, and some remind me of the story more than others, but yeah :)

When I tell you this story fuckgin HAUNTS me bro......

#the fic ill never write #if anyones wondering why p much all my other WIPs have been seemingly abandoned for so long. its bc of this one fucking fic #and other things but mainly this #ive gotten so many story ideas out of this bro..... #like i want to turn the god au one into its own thing at some point. god i have so many ideas for that #and also maybe the superhero one if only bc that one scene i wrote fucking slaps #also there was originally going to be a MLP au in there and then i scrapped that #and then turned those versions of A and B into my MLP OCs <3 #A is Solenopsis and B is Petri Chord #but also not really but also yes #so glad to finally talk about this #and thank u dear reader for listening to my infodump

[sociallyawkward--fics]

hi xy time for what is becoming my annual checkin! how are u! i feel like since its been abt a year i have to infodump abt all my character development hold on i'll speedrun it. my pronouns r it/its zhey/zhem or (less preferred) they/them. and i have settled on those. it/its is the only one thats ever given me gender euphoria, took 4 years but i got there. ummm realized i have autism (undiagnosed). love the stimming and the being insane abt fictional characters the rest isnt that great. got anxiety meds!!!!! oh my god xy!!!! life is so good now antidepressants r a girls best friend. also. hold on ur never gonna believe this. i have adhd meds now. the crowd goes wild. was like yea doc idk i just think the anxiety meds r not improving my ability to focus what was that u said abt adhd^__^ n she was like hmmmm ok i cant diagnose u but i can give u this adderall u dont need a diagnosis for n if its like glory hallelujah we'll just assume u have it and GLORY HALLELUJAH. ive cleaned my room like more times in the past few months than i have my entire life im WINNING. i cant rly feel if its working but i'll sit down to write or smth n i wont get distracted every 5 seconds n the mental block that keeps me from doing things is gone!!!!! life changing stuff just wish i had it before my grades fuckin woooo splat. um my gpa is 2.2 weighted im like. ok well now that i have adhd meds im working on it -H (i feel like. ok i think tumblr made it so ur asks can be longer but fuck all those liberals n their woke agenda (joke) i am all abt tradition babey i'll be back for a pt 2 rq)

ummm rly into books love books. "thats old news h everyone knows that" but like im being wonderfully unnormal abt them<3 there was this one series the ascendance trilogy n i was fucking OBSESSED w it when i was younger n i learned there was a 4th n 5th book recently so like. the trilogy thing was a fuckin lie. but i obviously had to reread the series so i could read the new books n im still so obsessed w the series its so banger for a middlegrade series. got so unnormal abt it i made a 7hr playlist for the main character bc everyone elses sucked so much ass i just had to. still in the process of rereading but yeah. also theres this OTHER series the raven cycle i read recently n im also obsessed w that these series r all like my ideal books they hit all my favorite tropes. yeah just being rly unnormal abt books thats my current obsession. also. drawing. im so good at it u wouldnt believe. next fuckin van gogh right here. n honestly i dont even care abt going off anon it just bothers me bc my ROUTINE. the TRADITION. its just not the same. but i'll go off it just for u to show u some of my banger art. at a stage where im pretty frustrated at my limitations but that doesnt mean i cant recognize that im fucking awesome ok hold on again -H but yea ok to finish up what have u been up to! tempted to just ask what shows/game/etc uve been into but also i am exerting a little of my brain power to realize some ppls lives dont revolve around those. so just liek what have u been spending a lot of time doing. how is writing going! wait what r ur drawing skills just out of curiosity draw smth for me (if ur comfy ofc n dw i completely understand if it fuckin sucks taht was me just over a year ago) -H (when i was younger i used to think that ppl couldnt be good at writing n drawing they had to choose one. exerted my baby brain power to be like. it takes too long to get good at them u can only do one. then saw a book w the cover art credited to the author n i was like woahhh this is fuckin crazy living my younger selfs pipe dream)

----------

The way I have had a reminder on my phone to answer these asks for MONTHS but my executive function has been GARBAGE i am so sorry my friend it was not intentional to leave this sitting for so long i am so sorry!!! (also between the two of us this got Long so i am putting a read more so i don't take up a big block of people's dash in my return from the dead lol)

thank you for pronouns update! congrats on meds!! i gotta get me some of those so i can Detroit: Become Functional lol. I am rooting for you with your GPA!!! Also lol, love that we are following tradition of multiple asks still even with the tumblr updates letting asks be way longer now lol, it is just Familiar To Us

I will have to look into the ascendance trilogy!! My sibling is also obsessed with the raven cycle, but i have not read it yet (still debating if i want to or not, have been for YEARS lol, because i keep hearing "author problematic" and then never remember Why because i have Goldfish Memory). I will not post your off-anon ask with the artwork unless you want me to (want you to feel comfy on the blog and sending asks and I know you prefer anon!), but i will say that your art is AWESOME, my friend!! you are SO good and you're only going to keep getting better! I am glad you enjoy it!

Also bestie. This is a neurodivergent space lol, my life also revolves around shows/games/books/etc. they are the only thing that make the monotony of life and job-having under a neurotypical capitalistic society bearable lol. I actually have been getting back into reading ACTUAL BOOKS lately which feels GREAT (because reading Actual Books when i am so tired and Non-Functioning all the time is Hard lol), i am finally going through my seemingly-endless TBR and also have reread some old faves this year. Games-wise, the only thing i ever think about is still the Dragon Age games, Alistair is the love and light of my life lol. Show-wise.... i am in Limbo because of the Exhaustion, tragically, and also just waiting on new seasons (OFMD). Witcher has a new season out, but i have not watched it yet because Energy and also i have no motivation to because the last season they put out was so bad (even if i hear this one is good, i have lost trust lol)

Writing is. Not quite going lol. I have not finished a fanfic in ages, and also have made little to no progress on any of my original work attempts either, tragically. Hopefully things look up for me soon cuz I wanna get stuff DONE again lol, this blog has become so quiet and near obsolete because i cannot FINISH anything and it is TRAGIC.

Also, I have little-to-no drawing skills, but I also unfortunately do not have much energy to apply to drawing you a picture atm :(( maybe someday. Sometimes I can draw something that makes me go "omg i am not Awful, maybe I could actually put thoughts and energy into learning this as a skill" and other times it is like "i will never put pencil to paper (or stylus to screen) ever again" lol. Maybe someday when i am doing Better again i will hopefully have the energy to draw you something!!

#ask #anon #H anon #oh also fun fact i am teaching myself like. how do you say it in a way that makes sense lol. like how to make resin crafts n such

[xiaojuun]

10, 18, 42? 💜 (happy saturday night sleepover~~)

beloved wings always glad to see you ... i hope you're hanging in there 🥲💜

10. what did your childhood bedroom look like? you're all gonna read this and be like wow that makes sense KDSJGB so technically i'm cheating because i moved into my older sibling's old room when i was 15 and redid it bc it was MUCH bigger than my actual 'childhood' room, but it was my dream design at the time haha. i had pink walls and sheets, and a zebra print comforter. there was a window seat i'd use to climb out and sit on my roof when my parents weren't home, a white board that my friends would write on when they'd come over ( which was all the time ), and literally a futon in addition to my bed in there so more people could sleep over comfortably at a time. i kept the desk + vanity that my sibling used where i'd do my friends' hair for them before school events. my bookshelves were full of manga and i had a closet full of clothes and another full of sketchbooks. i still have the plushie of max from where the wild things are that was the only one on my bed for a long time. there was also definitely a big time rush poster in there, lol.

18. what does your dream home look like? lots of pink furniture, a backyard, and plenty of space to move between rooms comfortably to change the scenery and also to host friends and family. my dream home has a google calendar i send out to let my loved ones fill in the time they're coming to stay, no limits - it's a place where people feel comfortable, just the way my childhood home was, and that's something my parents were very very deliberate about and i know i will be, too.

42. what was the first time you remember feeling seen (by another person, a story, a fictional character, etc.)? this is a hard one !! idk if this fully counts but i think maybe in love and death (album) by the used -- i definitely didn't like fully understand or identify with it when i was . 11 years old hearing it at first but that WAS the first time i was grappling with significant loss at a time i could understand it and that album is, at its core, about that. it's been dear to me ever since and always one i come back to in times of loss and change. i saw them perform it for their 15 year anniversary when i was about to graduate college the first time and it was so full circle for me.

sentimental asks <3

#these really were sentimental WHEW #thank you <3 #erimail #mail from: wings! 💜 #eri.askgame

[forever-rogue]

Would you be up for writing a SMUT fiction with the one & only, Marcus Moreno? Where Y/N is like 5 years younger then Marcus, but they fall in love anyway. Y/N meets his daughter and they have dinner together, but then she has a sleepover at a friends house and then Marcus and Y/N fuck? 😂 Idk, something like that.

I love Marcus so much, okay? I am weak for this man! Enjoy - this does have spice, the sweetest of spice - 18+ only!

Marcus Moreno x fem!reader; warnings: smut

Pedro Characters Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

Marcus was a man of many things - conviction, steadfast in his ways, kind, selfless, funny, handsome - the list went on and on. But among the many things, he was also incredulous at the fact that someone like you could be smitten with him.

But here you were - his lover, his friend, his partner. So many brilliant things all wrapped into one. He'd been hesitant to approach you, considering himself to be too dorky, too lame, and too old. He was only a few years older, nothing much, but it had never seemed to bother you. As soon as he'd met you and felt that familiar warmth wash over him, he'd felt like an old fool.

 More times than you could count had you caught him staring at you with that silly, goofy smile on his face. But he was never going to make a move, no, nope, definitely not. That would have been a sin, practically blasphemous and he would never entertain the notion and he was nervous just thinking about it and -

You had casually strolled him up after a mission, giving him a smile before sitting down next to him and cutting to the chase.

"Do you want to go out with me?" Marcus nearly spit out his coffee as you sat there and watched him a soft smile tugging on the corners of your mouth. Once he calmed down and quit coughing, he opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to get his bearings.

"Do I...what?" he pushed up his glasses - surely he couldn't have heard you correctly.

"Do you, Marcus Moreno," you pointed at him with a bemused expression, "want to go out with me? And I'll make this super clear, do you want to go out with me on a date, with romantic intentions? I'd like to take you to dinner sometime."

"Me?" he bumbled as a tinge of pink flushed into his cheeks.

"Of course you," you laughed lightly at him and he visibly relaxed at the warm sound, "unless there's another Marcus Moreno around I should know about?"

"I...no..no. Only me."

"I hope not," you insisted as you reached over and straightened his glasses, "because I'm quite fond of this one. You don't have to of course...please tell me if I'm overstepping boundaries since you are technically the boss. And perhaps I flatter myself with thinking you might feel the same."

"I'd love to," he nodded as he relaxed and grinned back around you, "I...ugh...yeah. I'll really like that."

"Great," you beamed at him, making him melt all over again, "its a date."

»»————-　♡　————-««

That had been a few months ago, and some days he still couldn't believe his luck. Then again, neither could you - how you had gotten on lucky as to call Marcus your own you would never know. 

Marcus had been nervous about stepping back into the dating field, well you, you were the first and only, but you'd made it so easy. There was never any awkwardness or worry or fear...it all just fell into sweet, blissful place. 

The thing he has been most nervous about though was Missy. Her approval meant everything, she was his world after all. But he also wanted you to like her because you were also becoming an increasingly big part of his world.

But his worries had been for naught because you fell in love with the young girl when you'd met her and vice versa. Now the two of you were thick as thieves, often ganging up on him. Not that he minded of course; his heart hadn't felt so full and happy in a long time and that was everything to him.

"Honey?" you put your hand on his shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. Marcus had been halfway through stirring a pot of pasta, homemade that afternoon by yourself and Missy, but had completely zoned out. As soon as he felt your gentle touch he seemed to snap back into reality, a small smile crossing his features. You gently tapped the side of his before he leaned in and kissed you, "What's going on up there, Moreno?"

"Nothing," he turned back to the pot and gave it a final stir before putting the lid back on. He reached for you,  his hands easily finding purchase on your hips as he tugged your towards him. You made a small sound of surprise before snaking your arms around his neck and carding a hand through his dark locks, "just thinking about how much I love you."

Love. That's what this was. He knew that now, hell, he'd known for some time, but he'd been nervous to admit to it. He never thought he'd be saying those words again, at least not to anyone besides Missy or his mother.

And it had terrified him. It had scared him to death - the idea of loving another again. At first he didn't know how to respond, how to react or what to do. It was overwhelming and all consuming, and yet...it made him happy. So happy. And it was apparent to everyone around him - how filled with life he was again, how the light never faded from his eyes, how his smile was bigger than ever. That's when he knew exactly what it was.

Of course, Marcus being Marcus, was so concerned with when and how to tell that he blurted it out during the middle of sex. It was right when you were both on the precipice of your climaxes, and he couldn't help himself as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder.

It had been slightly unexpected, sure, but you just kissed him and repeated the words back to him sweetly - reverently. You knew too that this wasn't like anything you'd experienced before...this was everything.

"I love you too, Marcus," you whispered as you trailed a few fingers along jaw, touching the patchy stubble that you loved so much, "I-"

"The kitchen is a communal place," Missy groaned at the two of you as he came down the stairs, her backpack and sleepover gear in tow, "I'd appreciate if we kept it that way."

"Very funny," Marcus pulled back from you with a wink as you went over and helped Missy with her stuff, "I'm the adult I make the rules!"

"Whatever Dad," she sassed him as you just laughed, "see you tomorrow. Love you!"

"Love you too kiddo," Marcus offered her a wave as you carried her bag to the door for her.

"Have fun with your friends," you leaned down and gave her a tight hug. She responded in kind before taking her things in hand, "don't get into too much trouble, yeah? And if you need anything, we'll be right here."

"We won't," she insisted with a sly little grin that you couldn't quite believe, "have fun too! See you tomorrow. I love you!"

And just as quick as a flash she was bolting out the door and down the street to her friend's house. It took you a moment to recover as you realized what she had said. You walked back to the kitchen with a grin on your face and your heart feeling like it was going to overflow at any moment.

"What?" Marcus asked as you walked in a daze.

"Missy," your voice was soft as you leaned against the counter, "she said she loved me...its the first time she's said it."

"And why wouldn't she?" he too felt an overwhelming rush of emotion as he realized just how much this meant to him, "you're pretty amazing after all."

"I love her too, so much...I just...I want her to know I love you and her and I want to be a part of your lives  but I would ever try to replace her mom," you explained as he nodded in understanding. Marcus moved to stand in front of you, his hands finding either side of your face as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, "how did I get so lucky to find the two of you? I love you both more than you will ever know."

"And so we do," he promised as he leaned in and properly kissed you, "I love you."

Without thinking, you hopped onto the counter and wrapped your legs around his waist before wrapping your arms around his neck. His large, warm hands slowly worked their way from your waist to up and under your shirt, as he skimmed your soft skin.

Your soft kisses quickly turned into hungry, needy ones as you pulled off his glasses and tossed them aside. Marcus went from your lips to your jaw before working his way down your neck, biting and sucking at the delicate skin.

"Marcus," you almost moaned his name as you pressed yourself against the hardness you could already feel in his jeans, "this is a communal space. Keep it clean."

"Don't want to," he huffed with laughter as his hand moved to the button of your jeans and he quickly undid the fly. He lifted you up briefly as he pulled down your jeans and underwear as you reached for his jeans to repeat the process. 

Your mouths almost never parted, except for the soft giggles that flowed as you felt more like naughty schoolchildren that could be caught at any second, rather than grown adults.

"Marcus - the food," you suddenly remembered. He shook his head as you paused for a moment.

"Its all off," he promised while cupping your breasts in his hands, earning a delighted moan from you, "it can all wait. Dessert first."

"Then take me," you tugged down just jeans and boxers, pushing them down as he wasted no time in lining himself up at your entrance and slowly pushing in. When he bottomed out, you both groaned in between kisses as he gave you a moment to adjust. 

Then there was no rush, and he started to move languidly, setting a gentle pace as he kept on kissing you. It was sweet, sex with Marcus was always something you thoroughly enjoyed, especially times like this. It was so intimate, so loving, it was everything and all consuming at once.

"'m not gonna last," he whispered as he left a trail of fiery kisses along your jaw. You nodded in agreement as you held him close, trying to memorize every touch, every feel.

"'s okay, honey," you promised as you guided him back to your lips, "come with me, please. I love you Marcus, I love you so much."

That was all it took to get him to reach his peak as your walls hugged him and you both came with small moans. Marcus held you tightly as you tried to catch your breath and he stayed buried inside you, peppering you in the most saccharine of kisses, "I love you too. More than you will ever know."

»»————-　♡　————-««

Permanent Taglist: @secretsweetscollectionblog  @sheridans-dynamos  @queenbbarnes  @persephonesnebula   @ah-callie  @blushingwueen  @thisis-theway @rosetophighlander  @rae-gar-targaryen    @hiscyarika  @readsalot73  @huliabitch  @ollyoxenfrees @coffeeandtodd  @beepbeepsephy   @scarlettwitcher  @nerdyknightwritersblog  @choicesarcade  @arrowswithwifi  @everythingaboutnothingstuff  @suckerfor-fanfics  @bestintheparsec @winters-buck @javihoney  @aeryntheofficial  @hail-doodles @engineeredfiction @aeryntheofficial  @asgardianvamp21  @keithseabrook27  @karmezii  @dearspacepirates  @thatsuitlooksgoodonyou  @paintballkid711 @mrpascals @kochamcie @lv7867 @artsymaddie @gooddaykate @rosiefridayrogersunday @heyitmelexie @criminalmind1927 @justanotherblonde23 @coni-martina​ @thewayofthemandalorian​

#marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno x you #marcus moreno x fem!reader #wcbh #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #we can be heroes

[alicenpai]

Hi :) I just discovered your art from your big long recent character post and wow their designs are so cool!! Idk if it’s my computer or the resolution of the image itself but I couldn’t read the names/descriptions under their headshots. Would that be something you’re willing to show? I would like to know more about them they all seem neat!!

hi!!! thank you that means a lot TT since ive been working on a number of the characters since I was 13 and I want to publish a comic about them sometime in the future.. hearing it means so so much to me

I added a bit more information about the stories, so it's under a Read More - it's Very Long. (trying not to spoil anything HAHAHAA)

heres 1 image to interest u right Now (designs/info subject to change)

 * READ MORE STARTS HERE *

The first story is Lost and Found Children.

Synopsis: A search for their missing parents lead twins Flynn and Nate to fall into a deep darkness, unraveling secrets about their family and the country they once trusted.

It's a story about mystery, overcoming trauma, and family. The story is set in a fictional world, about the equivalent to our 1920s in the west, but I borrowed elements from various surrounding eras and mixed them. If they appear to speak English... they actually don't haha. Think of like Violet Evergarden and how they may have real world names, but the script they use is definitely not German or English.

Character roster (above) drawn summer 2021. It displays their ages at the beginning of the year. Jack will turn 25 in a few days, then Terence will turn 19, Calem will turn 10, etc.

Nate Lockhart, Terence Nightingale, Flynn Lockhart. Regency fashion

Trent Nightingale, Eva Ying, Jack Lockhart. Eva dons a ball gown reminiscent of the 1840s-1850s, and the boys are supposed to be like vampire butlers. suits have hardly changed in 100+ years and i think thats why people love that timelessness of them so much. The last 2 drawings aren't canon compliant. think of them as like. fashion shoots.

Jaime (?) for now. repurposing a character design from 2010 that I really liked, and wished I had developed more throughout the years. In illustrations (like in the past.. I hardly drew them in recent years LMAO) I tend to get more elaborate with clothing designs, but in character designs I tend to simplify designs, because drawing all those details would make me go nuts, and it's just not practical to see them run around the city with ball gowns. With Jaime (?) I wanted a character who would be fancy no matter what. Her fashion is inspired by the steampunk lolita style.

Another lineup I did, in 2020, with character names below each.

Vita Calligaris, Terence Nightingale, Athena Nightingale, Trent Nightingale, Eva Ying Jack Lockhart, Nate Lockhart, Flynn Lockhart.

-----

My second story is The Magician's Protegee (temp name but it's been named that for 3 years now so we'll see how I feel later)

Synopsis: In the distant future where robots and humans coexist - a faulty healthcare android tries to recover its purpose and searches for the meaning to life, by volunteering at an idyllic countryside clinic.​

TMP is a sci fi story outlining the day to day life of an android doctor, his patients, and adoptive daughter. This actually used to be about the Victorian occult/gothic horror (hence the title), but I couldn't find any appeal in the story, besides the cool backdrop. Now it's inspired by works like Astro Boy and Aria (Kozue Amano) that feature a distant world in the future, governed by what seem to be a dreamy and utopian society. I hardly watched Astro Boy as a child, but watching the 2003 show as an adult, I was surprised to see how emotionally provocative the series was... and for that I cried a lot HAHA. it really changed me as a storyteller from that point onward.

This story also deals with some complex topics like AI and existentialism, but it won't be as dark as Lost and Found Children.

Lunar New Year 2021 drawing (the text reads "Good luck in the year of the ox")

Promo poster thing

Iris is about 5 years old and around 3'5"

Dr Lee is also biologically 5, but mentally in his 30s, and an android. About 6'5". the motivation behind Lee's look is that I didn't want him to look robotic at all. I haven't drawn it, but I think perhaps if he's not wearing anything (or like short sleeves), he might have some joints visible. like a ball jointed doll. ill think about it.

I wanted the designs to look sci-fi, but appealing enough that they were not off putting or something that wouldn't age well. Greatest insps for me were Kenichi Yoshida's art, Osamu Tezuka, Takegarou, and 60s fashion surprisingly. I really liked the simple, yet appealing emphasis on silhouettes and shape.

I hope these little snippets may interest someone to my OCs!

#ask #original #the magician's protegee #lost and found children #flynn #nate #terence #trent #jack #calem #eva #athena #dr lee #iris #my ocs

[hotdogct]

as dreamers do ||| n.jm

pairing: na jaemin x reader genre: fluff words: 2.2k a/n: hello!!! this is my first piece of writing in a very long time, so apologies if its all over the place/makes no sense!!! obviously this is all a work of fiction, disclaimer, blablabla, idk what i’m doing i just wanted to write drabbles about nct lmao, so with that being said!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you trust me?”

You roll your eyes in the direction of your coworker, Jaemin, who was sitting across from you in the fluorescent lit break room located just behind Splash Mountain’s gift shop and exit. The two of you were part of the massive workforce of college aged youth that Disney recruited every year to staff their theme parks and resorts. While you weren’t initially thrilled with your role as a custodian, you learned to appreciate its quirks - and that included the unique cast of characters otherwise known as your coworkers. From the full-timers that did their best to ignore your presence, knowing another semester would just bring a fresh wave of new faces, to your fellow program cohorts - Jaemin being one of them.

Assuming he was just quoting Aladdin at you, you offer no response to Jaemin’s initial query and continue scrolling through your phone, shoveling the few remaining cheese crackers from the nearby vending machine down your throat, intending on savoring the remaining minutes of your last break for the evening.

Your thoughts wandered back to your fellow cast members. There was Daehwi, sheltered and away from home for the first time, affectionately nicknamed ‘baby’ by everyone he befriended. Wendy, with her melodic voice and cheerful disposition, eager to break into song at a moments notice. Lucas, who might’ve come to Florida to party first, but worked equally hard. Hani, who arrived a few weeks after you, always the first to come help when you radio that your restroom has overflowed, again. Even Jinho, who had initially fooled you with his youthful looks before revealing this was his third time through the program, had somehow wormed his way into your heart. But nobody had been as captivating as Jaemin. When you first met him in passing in the cramped break room, you were convinced casting had made a mistake, that he was lost on his way to costuming for entertainment. He certainly looked like a prince - perfectly straight teeth, boyishly handsome good looks. A few days later he was assigned to clean the same bathrooms as you - “bathroom buddies” as everyone affectionately would call the practice. There, in the shared stockrooms, you learned who Jaemin was beyond his beautiful face - how his friends back home called him Nana, that he was studying photography in college, that he was an only child, a helluva flirt. Even your music tastes were similar, a fact you discovered on one of the many cramped, late night bus rides back to program housing where the two of you stood packed shoulder to shoulder, like sardines in a can. Jaemin interacted with guests both young and young at heart with an effortless charm and grace. Your managers loved him immediately, and before you knew it, you found yourself incredibly enamored with him too.

It wasn’t until his hand suddenly broke through your field of vision, blocking sight of your phone, that you realized Jaemin had stood up and was now standing directly in front of you. His head covered the harshest of the overhead lights, casting a soft halo glow around his black, messy hair and broad shoulders. He smiles down at you, innocently, and you feel your heartbeat accelerate when your eyes meet his own.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, again. This time, without thought, you place your hand firmly in his.

******

Jaemin leads you out of the blinding light of the break room silently, into the dark of the early winter evening. Eyes still adjusting, you follow behind him, thankful that your corner of the park was mostly deserted - Splash Mountain still closed for the season, only a few stragglers were coming and going to use the restroom in the area. You vaguely remember that Jaemin had been assigned a nearby zone to clean that evening - which was it again…?

He leads you up a flight up stairs, then, and that’s when it hits you. Train Zone. The Frontierland Railroad Station. It was an easy zone to clean, as the railroad shut down early each night before the fireworks display. Gathering the trash in an empty zone like this was a godsend, especially when compared to the other ride queues you had to clean, oftentimes fighting constant guest traffic like a fish swimming upstream.

Lost in your thoughts, you follow behind Jaemin as he completes his task diligently, making sure each trash can within the train station is empty and re-bagged for the next morning. It had been a few days since the two of you had worked in neighboring areas, and you often found yourself tongue tied when around him. The background music loop of Frontierland was noticeably absent, the speakers within the station shut off for the night. This led to Jaemin singing nonsense songs while tying up trash bags and wiping down surfaces, dancing lightly on his feet.

Turkey leg-g-g

At the train

D-d-d-driving me insane~

All you could do was laugh at his antics, and before you knew it, the nearby banana boat parked at the exit ramp was full of trash bags. Satisfied with the results of your hard work, you were about to begin the walk to backstage, where the dumpsters were located, when Jaemin turned about face, walking instead towards the train station.

“What are you doing?!” you hiss, not wanting to shout but needing to stress your confusion at his actions. Jaemin stops at the gate, unlatches it, before turning around, beckoning you over with a smile.

“I asked you if you trusted me, didn’t I?” his voice low in your ear upon your arrival at his side, banana boat now parked safely out of any guest traffic. Jaemin unlocks the gate for you, both of you falling silent on your walk back up into the depths of the train station - no more cute, silly songs spilling from his lips.

“Are you sure we aren’t going to get caught?” your voice carries louder than intended across the empty room as you go through the turnstile, and you wince.

Jaemin’s boisterous laugh took you by surprise, followed a moment later by his hand ruffling the top of your head, messing up your hair. As if to say, foolish.

“Getting the trash from up here is technically our responsibility. So what if it took us a little long?”

He was right - the best part of your job was the agency it provided. Sure, you were cleaning up garbage and bathrooms and vomit, but you could walk around freely. Explore hidden corners and crevices of the park. You knew all too well the allures of the shared hallway between the Frontierland restrooms, the stock closet next to the Veranda breezeway, the dumpster behind the Haunted Mansion - places the rest of your desperately horny coworkers had used to hook up in weeks prior. As you follow Jaemin around a corner towards the front of the station, through an open passageway, you wonder if that’s what he has in mind. That is, until you see the view in front of you.

Jaemin had led you to a small balcony that overlooked the whole expanse of Frontierland. From above you could spot guests walking about the park to and fro, the Rivers of America flowing gently behind them in the distance. Bits and pieces of Cinderella’s Castle were visible through the tree line, shining bright in multicolor as the nightly projection show proceeded to play.

“Jaem, it’s….”

“Nice, isn’t it?” He finishes your thought for you, his hand brushing over the staged decorations of fake barrels and crates against the wall of the balcony that seemed perfect to sit upon. Moments later, Jaemin plops down with a satisfied smile on his face and pats the space beside him, silently asking you to join him.

“Nice is an understatement” you offer in reply. A small laugh leaves his lips, a breeze rolls through. For just a moment, it is quiet and still.

“I’ve been wanting to show you this place for a while, but the stars just never aligned right until tonight.”

“You mean, the computer system that automates scheduling and staffing didn’t randomly place us in neighboring areas of the park until to-” Jaemin’s stiff elbow into your side lets you know to drop the wit. That you could do, but a question lingered in your mind, still, and you did have to voice your sole concern.

“How do you not get caught up here?”

Jaemin turns around, points to the solitary light on the balcony, and it’s then that you notice the bulb is off. You might feel exposed looking down upon everyone, but quickly realize that nobody is looking up at the closed train station - let alone looking for two cast members in white uniforms in the dark, goofing off on a weeknight.

Fooling around…

You were thankful for the cover of darkness in that moment, as you felt your cheeks turn crimson at the thought. Being alone, with Jaemin, this close, in the dark...This all seemed very sudden, despite everyone knowing about your big crush on Nana - he had to know too?

“So,” Jaemin’s voice cuts through your ever-racing thoughts, and your chest goes cold. “A little birdie told me there’s something you really, really like…”

If jumping off the balcony was a safe option, in that moment, you would’ve taken it. A confirmation of your worst fears - that Jaemin was aware of your ridiculous, schoolgirl like crush on him. You are speechless, sunken, pulse racing, and terrified.

Without the usual cue of area music, caught up in the last hour, you had missed your usual clues. A loud boom caused you to jump in your seat, out of your brain, head immediately turning towards Jaemin - only to make eye contact with him, bright lights reflecting off the surface, who smiles and motions for you to turn around. Of course.

If you were known for one thing amongst your cohorts, it was that you loved fireworks. Even on the most hectic of nights you found a way to make sure you were outside during the nightly display, never taking for granted that you were being paid to watch the sky light up in time to music. You had your favorite spots to watch from, but had never once considered the train station. From the corner of Frontierland, it felt like the fireworks were almost on top of you - cascading down upon Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, the expanse of empty night sky providing the perfect canvas. As the speakers above you were silent, there was no accompanying soundtrack, but it didn’t matter - you knew the whole show by heart. You were unaware of how long your mouth had been hanging open in blissful, childlike wonder, only noticing when Jaemin gently pressed his finger up against your chin, closing the space between your upper and lower lip through simple momentum. Moments later, his hand brushed over yours, testing the waters, and finding no complaint, interlocked his fingers with yours, and gravity pulls your head to his shoulder. A soft, steady hum leaves his lips, as you settle into this newfound bliss.

The rest of the fireworks show plays out in front of the two of you - two white ghosts in a dark shadow, illuminated by glowing streaks and bursts of color from the night sky. You’re working at the most magical place on earth, sure, but this felt like the most magical moment of your life.

Before you know it, the sky calms again, signaling the end of the show. You remain frozen for a moment, not wanting to leave. When you finally stand back up, awkwardly untangling yourself from Jaemin’s frame in a rushed manner, you can almost feel yourself floating back down to the ground, back to reality. Jaemin, your co-worker, Jaemin the flirt. He brought you up here just to watch the fireworks after all. Had you been a bit more outgoing, a bit less awkward, maybe...

Taking a few steps towards the entryway, a sudden hand on your wrist pulls you against the wall - thankfully, out of sight of any guests, but now engulfing your entire body in shadow. And it’s here in the darkness that Jaemin’s hand releases itself from your wrist, finds its way up to your cheek. Here, he leans in and kisses you - pressing his chapped lips against yours gently, but with enough intent and purpose that you swear you were seeing stars after a few moments. It doesn’t last long, as all fairytales would tell you. When you part, Jaemin rests his forehead against yours, both slightly damp from the Florida humidity, and you can feel him smile against you, somehow breathless, letting out a low chuckle, before asking,

“Did you think I was talking about the fireworks?”

#na jaemin #nct fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct dream #nct fluff #jaemin #nct scenarios #na jaemin fluff #na jaemin fic #jaemin fic #jaemin fluff #nct x reader #jaemin x reader #nct dream fluff

[annetteblog]

I got a very long ask and wrote even longer reply, and now Tumblr for some reason doesn't want to publish it through asks. So I'm making a separate post, because what else can I do? 😀 I hope Anon wouldn't mind

Hi!

Thank you for such a long ask! I really enjoy replying those, although it may take some time to actually write whatever I have on my mind 🙂 However, I feel like for every question that you posed, it's possible to write its own big reply or even an essay, so this piece of mine probably won’t give them justice (but I’ll try my best.)

As usual, one big IMO.

1) Ethics, “gueer coding” and discussions

I believe I’ve already partly touched this subject here. Shortly, I think that everything the boys did (and still do) had its own purpose. They decided to put these "undertones" (or whatever one may call them) in their art. They made some statements with a very small room for interpretation. And it didn't happen once or twice. More like, it's been a consistent behaviour throughout years.

I don't buy this excuse some fans write - "oh, he just didn't know about this/didn't understand how it looked like/didn't..." So apparently, JK wasn't able to figure out shit about Troye, didn't give a damn about his GCF, didn't think how his tattoo looked like; JM didn't realize to what conclusions could lead his quite bold words about 4am or waking up and seeing JK; both of them didn't have second thoughts about the Black Swan dance; Bang PD is just a CEO who pays zero attention to BTS in general and KM actions in particular (which sometimes actually backlash, e.g. that stop gay fanservice thing after the Seoul concerts), because he clearly just doesn't care AT ALL; whatever PR service they have in BH is just asleep all the time... Etc etc etc, you got the idea

Well, if one wants to perceive JM, JK and BigHit as a group of complete morons with no brains, this "oh, they just didn't know" explanation may work. But if all of them were idiots, how would BTS become the biggest group on a planet? They are smart enough, deal with this.

And YET. KM still do what they do. It's their choice, so apparently they have their motives. You wrote it yourself too - "Jikook and BH put out all that stuff for a reason."

Keeping this in mind, I truly think it's fair to discuss queer undertones or KM's bond. It's meant to be discussed and speculated. They made it public, and they continue to make it public (and quite obvious, to be honest). Why? Well, I guess they want us to speculate.

From here comes the second point

2) Art and its interpretations

In general, I believe that any good art should allow various interpretations. That's what a good piece of art is supposed to do - provoke a thought. As well as it's quite customary to analyze and (sometimes) overanalyze art. Thousands of universities worldwide have programs which are focused on fine art, literature, theater, music, film, etc.

And why is it okay to write about Avengers or Madonna or whatever weird art you're able to find in the closest Contemporary museum (like a banana taped to a wall), but not okay to interpret BTS' songs and/or performances? Again, I strongly believe that art is meant to be discussed. Especially as cool as theirs 🙂

Actually, some popular fandom theories turned out to be true here. Since Spring Day release on Feb 2017, fans speculated about its connection to the Sewol ferry tragedy based on the song's lyrics, MV and choreo. We got this confirmation like when, December 2020? But before it was also just an interpretation.

Coming back to KM. Combining these with the idea that JM/JK/BH clearly know what they're doing and how it may look like, I don't see a problem in having various interpretation of their art. Including queer ones.

3) Escapism

Isn't all art targeted to escaping in a sense? We want to take a break from reality and/or mundane life or just gain some new experience. In this sense what's the radical difference between staring at pictures or sculptures in a museum, watching a movie, reading a book or scrolling through Tumblr reading BTS/KM centric posts? All of these are means to escape and entertain ourselves.

As for this "if they are a queer couple, is it okay to derive pleasure and 'what a beautiful love story' feelings from two members of systematically oppressed minority?" - and you would prefer doing what - ignoring them? pretending that they don't exist? 🙃 In case if they are a queer couple, I guess showing support and benevolence is even more important. Exactly because, as you mentioned, they are a part of the oppressed minority. And the hatred is/would be definitely in place.

4) Fanfiction

Oh my, what a controversial theme these days.

Firstly, some forget it was not invented in the 21st century. Even slash fanfiction (cough Star cough Trek). As for incorporating real people, it's been a part of literature for like what.. always? There are millions of different writings about emperors, nobles, military figures, lives of saints, etc. And it's not like personal opinion of people in question bothered those, who write or wrote about them. I clearly remember a scene in Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, where Alexander I [Russian emperor 1801-25] after losing a battle against Napoleon, hits a birch tree with his sword while crying hard and just being kinda hysterical. Would real Alexander be satisfied with such image if he read the book? Idk 😄

About having "the right to comment on such [different from your own] experience". I suppose, if authors wrote only about what they had experienced, our literature would be 95% poorer than it is. How can one write books in historic settings if they didn't live there? How do books about future and space travel exist, if we live in 2021? Is it needed to be a part of mafia to write about mafia? What about other cultures? Should an American author write only about American people and American lifestyle or it's fine to have characters from other countries?

Writing is not about experiencing something and then making a fanfic or a book, it's more about research and compassion. If you have reliable info on your theme and are able to look at the world using different lenses, why not?

I don't perceive fanfiction as a worldwide evil. Sure, there are creepy examples as well as authors, who write fetishizing weird shit. But it doesn't mean that all fanfiction=bad and all slash fanfiction=objectification of male homosexuality. Fanfiction is just one form of fiction, it can be good or bad based on how it's written. But the label itself doesn't define anything, as well as reading it should not be a reason to accusations.

5) Jikook, shipping and politics

I'm among those, who perceive pretty much everything as a part of politics. We all exist within some political conventions and have certain political laws over our heads. And yes, it includes art. Even if an artist says something like "oh, I decided to stay away from politics, my work is beyond it". The decision to stay away from politics is also political, because apparently there was something within the political structure what made this artist say that and forced them to make this distinction between them and some institutional conventions.

And that makes me believe that shipping/supporting KM is also political. But I don't think it's necessarily bad? Basically, you decided to support potentially queer people from a country, which doesn't really approve LGBTQ+. It puts you in the opposition towards a particular government. You made a choice. You could google some SK stuff, read all that you mentioned in the beginning of your ask, and say something like "oh, that's not okay there? well, fair enough, I guess their government knows better"🤠 and forget that this KM thing even exists. But apparently you didn't

Imo, is it politics? Yes

Is it bad that it's politics? Well, no? 🙃

|

P.S. I hope I was clear enough with my ideas. Thank you again for the thought provoking ask, and I hope I'll hear from you again 🙂

And honestly, I don't think that you're problematic in any way :)

#annetteasks #jikook #kookmin #long post #jeon jungkook #park jimin #jimin #jungkook