#its 1 am and i have thoughts

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[cha-mij]

Apparently I'm a dragonfly.

Darting wings of manganese

Fly solo ‘mongst the swarm

Other colours pair, or blend

And twirl, and dance, conform.

 

To outmoded convention

Of What “always has been”

Ignoring the wings that

Circle freely, unseen.

 

Others purples have entered

The kaleidoscope dance

In harmonic singularity

Meeting only by chance

While the bonded wings dance

Their coupling operation

Their solitary companions

Fear no infatuation

 

Instead they dance together

A gamble of kinship

Purple dragonflies happy

No desire for courtship.

#aroace #aromantic #aromanitc #demigirl #demiromantic #demisexual #asexual #dragonfly #I always thought dragonflies were faries #that makes me a fairy #that makes me happy #its 1:30 am #why am i sat outside writing poetry #i should be sleeping #i have work in 7 hours

[fesfri]

(non-separated version under cut)

#twewy #neku #joshua #my art #my nonsense #gun #get you a partner that looks at you like joshua looks at his next target #i have. many twewy thoughts #its 1 am

[bumblingbabooshka]

VOY men + Having sex with another man as a non-gay "Warrior's bond" type activity.

#Chakotay would be willing to accept it if it was a cultural thing but in my mind it's like. Tom Paris saying this. #st voy #star trek voyager memes #I have more in depth thoughts about this but its 1 am #None of the voy women seem like they'd be willing to entertain the thought that two women can have sex as pals except maybe Seven #Harry pretending to entertain Tom's 'it's not gay bc' stuff bc he DOES want to have sex with him. Just going 'sure...' #Neelix & EMH .......... they seem like they'd get around

[marblerose-rue]

click for better quality!

the hush of rain / scourge

#my art #do not copy trace or steal #scourge #warrior cats #wc #waca #wc art #scourge wc #blood #bloodclan #THIS. WAS SO TRICKY TO DO #tried a couple of new things out/drew things ive never rlly drawn before as like a test #and its like. i started late in the night its 1 am rn and i am tired #BUT I JUST FOUND OUT i didnt have homework this weekend and i convinced myself i did so hip hip hooray me #scourge is still one of my fave characters all he did was show up kill and die. good for him #ALL IN ALL i am happy and proud of this piece ^_^ #if i forget anything. please show me mercy #for i am my own worst enemy (drawing after 11 pm) #ANYWAY goodnight and goodmorning but mostly good night #actually hold that thought a little im hungry so goodnight after i figure out what i want to eat #i dont know how to draw puddles i kinda gave up its more prominent in the sketch

[ourfag]

Forgive my asking, but what are you meant to do if you find hair in your food at a restaurant? Send the whole thing back to the kitchen? I'd of course send my food back over something larger or grosser, like a nail clipping, or multiple pieces of hair, but it seems like such a hassle for just one piece.

#art tag #sorry SORRY IM SORRY i had to. i saw it and i had to #serious answer im like 80% sure sending food back over 1 hair is generally thought to be reasonable. mileage may vary from person to person #i def understand being reluctant to do it. i am too i rly dont like the prospect of sending my food back im not sure ive ever done it #its been a VERY long time sice i set foot in a restaurant though. i think everyones got different thresholds for this stuff #like if i find a hair embedded in my banana bread im like ok kinda gross but not a huge deal bc thats been cooked #hair in fries ill just avoid eating the fries i saw touching the hair #hair in fettucini alfredo…….. now we got a promblem. #unsanitary #? does this warrant an unsanitary tag? #i feel like maybe once upon a time stede could have been grossed out by 1 food hair. and then he had kids

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Belgian Grand Prix - Kimi Räikönnen(ft. Giancarlo Fisichella & Sebastian Vettel)

#2009 kimi is so 😳 with his long hair #my fav part about kimi podiums is how much champagne he drinks compared to other drivers hahaha #everyone else mostly sprays it but he always keep slugging it #i dont know why i keep making these at 6 am when i dont have any thought processes as well as being sick! i cant write meaningful tags #nevertheless aahahhhhhh i love 2009!!! its so sick how balanced it is #like how tf did a force india get pole and nearly win???? sick #im still dying over the lap one DNF where 4 cars were taken out in one fell swoop it was almost comedic #it feels so nice to see fisi again!!! i missed him since 2005...shame nando isnt on the podium w him bcs i miss my renault boys #but heyyyyyy simi podium!!! i love how kimi is just trying to drink and seb sprays him #kimi räikkönen #kimi raikkonen #sebastian vettel #sv5 #giancarlo fisichella #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #2009 belgian gp #2009 belgian grand prix

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony #anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate #skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant #instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady #then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change #and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again #make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello #i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔 #so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl #anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows. #riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us #bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath #whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage. #why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself #funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that) #anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch #aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck #WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH?????? #i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed #rambles #genshin #childeposting #childe #narwhalposting

[tangledinink]

clenches fist. finally sucked it up and ordered a new ipad...

#i splurged a tiny bit and got one with... one whole fucking tb of storage #my current one has 64gb #it is due for an update and i literally cannot fucking update it lmao i dont have the space #im running out of things i can delete. i literally have procreate and thats IT i have long ago deleted all other apps for the space #i mean i am still getting. like. a refurbed ipad thats like gen 3 or whatever its certainly not NEW #what am i the queen? #but considering i currently have a gen 1 i could literally get anything and it'd be a hell of an upgrade #i have enough money saved up from comms/patreon/kofi/etc on my paypal that i could literally purchase this w/o touching my bank acct #so like! if you have at any point over the past like six months donated subscribed or commissioned me!!! THANK YOU!!!!! #you have allowed me to afford a new ipad and continue making things ; w ; #and hopefully finally get to try out procreate dreams which i havent been able to touch yet fhrfrhf32fe #I REALLY WANNA TRY TO MAKE AN ANIMATIC FOR YALL..... #i thought abt asking for one for xmas but i dont want to wait and it would be a V expensive gift to ask for and also like #id rather just pick one out myself... than rely on my family picking out smth... so... you know. timing is what it is whatever #XMAS GIFT TO MYSELF #personal #txt posts

[winterzz7]

i havent decided if im gonna color this or not

#its 1 am #hamilton musical #alexander hamilton #i have school in the morning #help #i just needed to draw out this idea #dont ask what this means idk #i thought he would look cute with string in his mouth idk

[byooregard]

other fun thing i keep saying to my friends while watching doctor who is going 'you know i'm fascinated by the ten to eleven pipeline' (sometimes its nine to ten to eleven but yk how it is) because they know what i mean and i know what i mean but it really does sound like i've just discovered counting

#doctor who #dw #cleb talky #my friend made a button pin for me that says 'no.1 9 fan' and i love it #yeah i am a big fan of the number nine. good number. hours. persons. doors. doctors. lots of great nine things #i do have lots of genuine thoughts on a) the concept of regeneration in general and b) how each doctor relates to the others #but its so much more funny to talk as if ive just discovered numbers

[thisisnotkitty]

hello securitywaiter nation have you thought about ness being abby’s teacher bc I HAVE

below the cut because i can't shut up ever :D

-abby does well enough in school academically but is still needs some work in the socioemotional dept

-when she starts a new school year mike is a bit worried but then she comes back home absolutely ecstatic and mike is like “okay this is good”

-she talks all about how mr. ness lets her color while he teaches and how mr. ness gave them all name tags w silly drawings (hers is a bear) etc etc

-mike is actually really happy bc most teachers have a hard time understanding abby (heck, he has a hard time understanding her) so he’s looking forward to meeting this mr. ness during back to school night

-it goes on like this for awhile, with abby raving about mr. ness and mike is just happy that his little sister seems to be doing better in school. the first time she comes home talking about these kids she hung out with at recess he practically cries

-back to school night is here and the first time mike sees this mr. ness he’s like abby u traitor you didnt tell me this man was exactly my type (he doesn’t actually tell her bc he never brings up his lovelife around her - not that he’s had much of one - but still isn’t this the type of things siblings know intrinsically)

-anyways they’re having the kids show their guardians around the classroom and their seats and everything and then mr. ness is explaining the way his class works and mike is totally paying attention. yup. he’s not distracted by those chocolate brown eyes at ALL

-so they’re waiting to do the one-on-ones with the teacher and mike crouches down next to abby and tries to be all chill “hey, abs. has mr. ness ever mentioned a partner or anything?” acting all nonchalant

-but abby sees right through him and is immediately like “he’s single! do u want me to put in good word for you?” and mikes like “NO i have no idea what ur talking about haha i just wanted to know bc it’s important to know that about ur teachers okay wait why are you smiling like that”

-(abby’s a little menace and already ships it)

-when it’s finally their turn mike is just chanting to himself “be normal. be normal. be normal” lmao

-but now that he’s sitting face to face with the teacher he notices that he has freckles and every chance he had at playing it cool goes out the window

-ness is telling him all about how well abby is doing in class and if there was anything he could do to make it easier for her in the classroom and abby’s just sitting there looking at mike internally screaming with a smile

-so she turns to her teacher and is like “you should get mike’s number just in case something comes up. he’ll probably think of some things later since he’s been taking care of me alone for awhile” (bc u know when kids do that things where they kinda trauma dump at the most random moments lmao)

-and ness at first refuses and is like “im sure email works just fine!” and abby’s like WHYY is he not just taking the bait and then she has like a lightbulb moment

-bc ness probably assumes like everyone else that mike is a single father and abby’s his daughter and abby’s like oh no how do i make this work

-so she goes full anya mode (for my spy x family watchers) and is like “im sure mike would appreciate having your number on hand! he’s a very protective older brother you see. taking care of his little sister must be hard. i’m sure being a big brother like him is hard so it’d be for his peace of mind. did i mention he’s my older brother”

-and ness also has a little bit of a crush already forming so he doesn’t catch the obvious set up and is instead distracted by the fact that the handsome guy in front of him is in fact NOT a single father so maybe he does have a chance wowow

-yup so they exchange numbers andddddd ill come back to this later i really need coffee

#do i know what grade abby is in?? no #do i even have a vague idea of how i could muddle the ages for this work? also no #i am literally jsut here what more do u want from me #yknow purple rotting michael when he done got scooped #thats what i feel like with the amount of brain rot that i have #im actually so mentally ill its insane #also i very specifically wait for someone else to post on the tag before i make another post #bc i ahve wayy too many thoughts on these two #fnaf #fnaf movie #kitty.twt #ness the waiter #securitywaiter #mike schmidt #mike x ness #fnaf ness #abby schmidt #i love abby being securitywaiter shipper no. 1

[peachy-doodles]

idc what the time is; i have been thinking about my old Sneasler Ingo nonstop for the past few weeks and HAD to revisit his design rn or id esplode 💥💥💥

the snilerrrrrs.....................

#pokemon #warden ingo #sneaseler #subway boss ingo #sneasler ingo au #lady sneasler #when i first drew him i wanted to make him fluffier but thought he would be too inhuman but what the hell ever man #its my au i get to make up the rules on how pokified the wardens get. #fluffify that guy rn!!!!!!!!1 #he still speaks sneasler and has his own kits because i like those qualities.... #having a gaggling of kits follow him around the highlands calling him dad is just free serotonin :] #it is now 8am as i am posting this. for context. haunted and vexed by visions of sningos

[maburito]

!!!!!!

This is!!! I don't know if i can say poetic but I'm!!!!! got so much thought about this scene alone!!!!

#like!!! #the fact that the SA-X!!! #the one terrifying thing that we've hide away/run away from in fear or fought #ends up being the one to save us???!: #and like i know it's not on purpose #SA-X is very much doing this because if they can keep Metroid species as a whole extinct they will go to any length to do it of course #so of course it's very much interested and all but just #!!!!! #AH FUCK I CANT ARTICULATE WELL BUT THERES SOMETHING SO INTERESTING ABOUT IT #SAMUS ORIGINAL ARMOR/MOST DIFFICULT ENNEMY WHO HAPPEN TO HAVE HER OWN FACE #ENDS UP BEING THE ONE SAVING HER FROM THE NEW LAST METROID #BUT ALSO LIKE #IT RATHER SACRIFICE ITSELF TO SAMUS AND L0OSE ALL ITS PROGRESS JUST TO FIGHT THE METROIDS #IM SORRY IM SCREAMING SO MUCH BUT IM #I GOT THOUGHTS #LOTS OF THOUGHTSD #ITS 1 AM HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP NOW #Metroid Fusion #Mabu plays Metroid

[teabagboy]

Bylerween Day 1: Trapped in the Upside Down

#i was gonna have will as a ghost turn up behind him but decided to make it this upside down thing instead.. #idk it was fun to use a more painted style #the quality of this is probably ass but its ok the thought is there (i am unsatisfied) #bylerween2023 #day 1 #trapped in the upside down #tw flashing #(just in case) #tw blood #mike wheeler #stranger things #/my.art

[mildcicada]

#when i was first coloring him in he was gonna be golden chinchilla colored but then i was like ehhh jonah magnus should be red/orange but #elias should be gray ...so i just desaturated what i already did instead of recoloring lol but #he is now supposed to be shaded silver lol #but thats why his coat pattern is on the darker side compared to what it *should* be #og elias bouchard coming from an important/roch family and while whole thing with thinking he just *deserves* stuff bc of his upbringing. #etc. -> he is purebred and matches the breed standards etc for a scottish fold of his color #obviously the eye color doesn't matter because. ahaha #i thought elias fit the Scottish fold vibes because: Scottish folds are known for looking sort of like owls and having intense eyes #and the cat body/face type (also present in british shorthairs) to me gives off sort of... unnasumming vibes? #like ahaha yes i am a boring boss who loves paperwork look at how unnasumming i am season 1-2 elias y'know #trying to think of what cat breed jonah would be. and also jon gerry etc you know all the other characters i like #would it be boring to have multiple british shorthairs #i mean.. #Michael shelley/distortion is a laperm that's all I know #i didn't particularly care with the personality attributes associated with eliascat because it didn't need to fit his personality on account #of not being his original body. but i do try to keep in mind the best personality/look/etc. cat attributes as a whole for a character #also sometimes get obsessed with jt making historical and geographical sense but then it just limits me greatly to a point im not into it #so i don't care about specific breeds in that respect lol #tma #my art #elias bouchard #the magnus archives #some notes looking back(made it 2 hours ago but still looking back ok..) on it now are that i feel like elias would never choose this breed #for his next bodyhop because of the inherent health issues in scottish folds. I saw the breed was created in like the early 1960s and #assumed that maybe the health issues wouldn't have been common knowledge until later enough for jonah to be unaware of them but actually no #there's legislation about it like 6 years later LOL so jonah would..maybe not make this choice #i guess in the future when drawing i will just make him a British shorthair #my catTMA is simultaneously 'they are just regular cats or like all show cats or something' and 'exact tma plot but as intelligent cats' #LOL its just vague in my mind idk..also maybe jon can be an Abyssinian #ALSO WHAT WAS I THINKING 'jonah may not have been aware about x thing' like did i...did i forget. me 2 hours ago was dumb as rocks