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mochinomnoms · 4 months

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Do you think humans in twisted wonderland have periods? What if they don't...

What if AFAB!Yuu is the only one in twisted wonderland to have periods and it freaks everyone out

Evolutionarily speaking it would make sense for the humans in twisted wonderland to reabsorb the unused egg for extra fuel for magic

[cw] - discussion of periods/afab!Yuu but still written as gn [wc} - 1,792 Added the rest under readmore as it got a bit long. I think there's a fic somewhere on here with this idea, but I can't remember the blog or name, I'll edit and link it later if I find it. I can see the point of the egg being reabsorbed, though personally I think TWST humans are biologically the same as Earth humans, minus the ones with magic maybe having a bit stronger/heighten senses and strengths. After all, there are plenty of humans who aren't magic, I think it's mentioned some point in their book 2 or book 5 that a majority of the population is either magicless or aren't privy to the privilege of formal magical education.

Even if a majority of the human population is magic, there's still a good chunk of them that don't and if that's the case then they at least would have periods.

However, that's explicitly the human population, and in reality it makes absolutely no sense for beastmen or merfolk to have periods. Especially when they have things like heat/ruts or mating cycles. Fae I think would actually make the most sense for the headcanon you're mentioning! They are completely and utterly magic, made from the magic of the earth, animals, and flora given sentience and forms. They are utterly magic, through, and through, so it would make sense for those with uteri to recycle the egg back into them for magical fuel.

And say we're going with the assumption that there are no other afab students in the school, or there are, but they're only beastmen, merfolk, and/or fae, then an afab!Yuu comes as quite a shock.

The beastmen are the first to notice something off with them, as they have the most acute sense of smell. This is followed by a very close second with the merfolk (particularly the predacious ones) and an even closer third by the fae. All the boys from those dorms, minus Lilia who's lived long enough to know what a period is, clock in on their friend who reeks of blood and flesh (because you're also shedding pieces of your uterine lining).

Lord help you, as you're in a crowded area, the cafeteria, with not only them but the rest of their classmates that also smell your blood, because their immediate thought is that you're fucking dying.

Sebek is surprisingly the first to launch himself at you, shouting at the top of his lungs, “WHERE IS YOUR INJURY HUMAN?! YOU ARE SEVERELY INJURED YOU SHOULD BE IN THE INFIRMARY—” Before he is yanked off by a wide-eyed Jack, who's looking more and more like the dead as he leans down to sniff at you.

The blood from his face drains (ha) as he turns to look at Leona and Ruggie, as well as a small group of other beastmen—friend's you've made during the tournament—and nods. This causes them to all look horrified and gaze at you like a wounded puppy. Minus Leona, who just looks amused.

“It's coming from them.”

Still confused, you stare at the Heartslabyul group—who'd been eating breakfast with you—in bewilderment. They also look at you in confusion, except for Riddle, the latter of which pinches the bridge of his noses and takes a deep sigh.

“I think you're all being a bit dramatic, they're just on their—”

“DRAMATIC? I DON'T THINK YOU'RE BEING DRAMATIC ENOUGH!”

Floyd grabs you from behind, spinning you and shoving his face so close to yours that you noses are smushed together.

“Shrimpy… you gotta tell me who did it, cause I could tell from aaaaall the way in the hallway that ya hurt. Com'on! Tell Floydie, I promise I won't be mad.”

Jade placed a hand on his brother's shoulder as he leans down to chastise Floyd.

“Not now Floyd, the poor thing is hurt, we should take them to the infirmary. Then we can hunt down the dreadful soul that hurt our friend and have them trade their spot.”

You felt yourself being lifted from the ground, yelping and latching your arms around Floyd's neck as he cradles you in his arms. Effectively yanking you from Jack's grip, who immediately growls.

“Floyd! Be careful!”

“Ehhh? Yeah that sounds like a great idea! Let's go now, I'm itching for a good fight, ayhehehe!”

Leona and Riddle shared a look, the former sighed to try and explain.

“Look you idiots, they're not injured, they're—”

“What are you waiting for?” Ruggie interrupted him, annoyed by Leona's unconcerned attitude, instead gesturing to Floyd. “Let's go before they bleed out even more!”

The small group clamored out of the cafeteria, a few more concerned students following after them as they started to hear bits and pieces of the conversation. Leaving Leona and the others in the dust. Deuce piped up.

“… Uh, do they not know—”

“No, most beastmen aren't familiar with periods.”

“I'm guessing merfolk and fae don't either, based on the twins and Sebek.” Riddle sighed, feeling sorry for you.

Leona's ears perked as he heard the shrill shriek of a certain octopus in the distance. Riddle and the others also seemed to hear it as they winced.

“Probably not…”

“…”

“… should we?”

“Yeah, we probably should, before my boys wreck the school. Let's get Crewel.”

It took a whole hour of you reassuring the small crowd that had formed around your bed in the infirmary before anyone calmed down. Floyd and Jade were being constantly pulled back into the infirmary by the ear by the nurse, who kept telling the two to stop trying to go beat up the imaginary person that, quote unquote, “hurt you”.

“What do you mean Shrimpy isn't hurt? I can smell the blood from all the way down the hall!”

“Yes, it's quite a potent scent, and distinct to our dear Prefect.” Jade held his hand to his chest as he sniffled. “We've smelled it before when they've gotten hurt, but this is a whole different level.”

“Yeah! Almost all of Savanaclaw could smell it” Ruggie nodded in agreement as Jack followed.

“They must be really hurt if we all could smell it from that far away! You need to help them nurse!”

Their voice's grew again in volume, Sebek in particular, as he vowed to also hunt down the “ruffian who would dare harm a fellow student on the campus Master Malleus attended!”

The nurse, growing more and more annoyed trying to corral the group (she wondered how ethical it would be to use a silencing spell and another to stick them to the ceiling), sighed in relief as the echo of Crewel's whip commanded immediate silence.

“Oh, thank the Sundrop, Professor Crewel, please control them. I am up to here with their foolishness—”

“Foolish? The Prefect might be dying!” Azul cried out, surprisingly attached to your side. She'd tried to yank him off of you earlier, but was met with a shocking amount of strength as his grip on the metal bed frame caused an Azul-sized hand indent to form. His strength, easy to forget in his slender frame. Now, he was trying his best to coax the name of the student responsible with promises of free drinks and discounted food.

“No I'm not!” You cried out in exasperation. “I've been trying to tell you, but y'all won't listen!”

As you tried to get up from the bed, trapped in a blanket cocoon made by Azul, the boys started up again. Half urging you to stay in bed and rest, while the other half argued with the nurse, and now Crewel, about healing you up.

A near ear-shattering rumble of thunder caused another silence to fall over everyone. This time, though, the group shrunk into themselves as Malleus, standing proud and tall, entered the room. Sebek perked up, rushing over to meet him.

“Young Master! I've ensured that the human was taken to the infirmary, but so far they've refused any healing—”

“Thank you, Sebek. I will speak to them myself.”

Malleus, his school jacket flourishing behind him (one of the students murmured that he felt like a background character in a romance movie), flew to your side. Where you had been squirming your upper body out of the blanket cocoon, smacking at Azul's hands as he kept attempting to swaddle you back in.

Now freed waist up, you turned to face Malleus, who had elegantly kneeled down by your bedside (you could hear Sebek muffled a shriek) and held your hand like a delicate piece of china.

“Child of Man, my friend, what happened? Are you alright? Did someone hurt you?” Malleus cooed at you, green eyes peering into yours, full of concern.

So it was a surprise to everyone in the room when you groaned, which morphed into a soft scream.

“Uh… Child of Man?”

“I'm fiiiiiine!” You sighed, slumping back into the bed. “I'm just on my period, you guys.”

The room remained quiet, a bit too quiet as you lifted your head back up to look at the room of confused looking men. Crewel had a hip cocked as he looked unimpressed over the crowd. The nurse was rubbing her temples. You heard Azul clear his throat, drawing his attention as he asked,

"What's a period?"

Finally, the crowd had settled, all of them huddled around your bed as you tried your best to explain what a menstral cycle was.

"So you like, bleed every month? Randomly?"

"Amount 28 days, so once a month yeah. And now it's not random, it's part of the reproductive cycle. It's my body preps for a new egg—"

"But, I though humans didn't lay eggs?" Floyd asked, leaning against Azul's right shoulder.

"We don't, it's different the egg turns into a baby itself so there's no egg to lay—"

Ruggie spoke up, "We get that, but I don't get why the egg makes you bleed? It can't do that can it?"

"No, no, no. It's not the egg itself, it's my body. In order for the egg to get fertilize it needs a good environment to grow, so the uterus grows a fresh lining once a month for the egg to latch on to, so—"

You sighed as once of the other fae students interrupted.

"Fresh lining? Like, the skin? Of the uterus?"

You nodded, trying to keep your patience as you attempted to explain to your friends that, no, you were in fact not bleeding to death.

"Yes, that's the blood, the skin is shedding to make a fresh one for the next egg."

You don't think it's working, as that last sentence caused a wave of mortifcation amongst the crowd.

"That... sounds like it hurts." Malleus, still holding your hand, softly asked. "You're not hurting though, correct?"

Pursing your lips, you looked up at the ceiling, avoiding eye contact. Wow had that cobweb always been in that corner?

"Yuu."

Malleus's voice, calling out your name for once, was full of questioning.

"Yeah Horns?"

"it doesn't hurt, correct?"

You started whistling a little tune, studying the dirt under your nails.

"Dear Prefect," Jade this time. "Answer the question?"

The group leaned in closer as you grumbled under your breath.

"Speak up Shrimpy."

".........not always."

"Come on, stop being shy, you act like a puppy most of the time" Ruggie was getting annoyed.

".....cramps..not move...not always."

"It's okay Yuu, you can say it." Azul cooed.

"...Sometimes the cramps makes it hurt too much to move, but not always."

You braced yourself as the crowd once again riled up.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT HURTS TOO MUCH TO MOVE?"

The nurse off to the side still, leaned over to tell Crewel, "I told you we needed an interspecies health class."

hehe this was fun, comments appreciated. I may be inclined to write more since writing different between species like this is fun

#mochi asks #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #if you squint its an x reader #mochi fic

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whaliiwatching · 9 months

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Caught up to the fic!! Absolutely fascinated by all the queer/punk/poc history here, since I don't know much myself. Very sweet chapter as well.

Unrelated question - mostly - but why is it common fanon to depict Noir as the more scarred up of various spiderpeople? Naturally everyone has their fair share of fights, though the only we see sustaining any marks is Peter B and his misaligned nose. Personally, I've taken it as Noir Peter not healing as cleanly due to it being Spider God stuff over Weird Radioactive Healing Factor stuff. Thoughts?

thank you so much!! i’m glad you liked it, & hope the ending was satisfying for ya <3

short answer: hot

long answer, plus a map of my idea of noir’s scars: under readmore :)

i’m not a devout spidey comic/movie fan or a doctor. this is based on conjecture and minimal research!

when i came up with my unmasked noir ideas, i wasn’t influenced by fanon—i hadn’t seen any other fan art, not even when itsv came out. but i can think of a good few reasons that scarred noir is a popular headcanon: evidence of what he’s been through makes him feel more tangible/relatable, the visual difference enhances his thematic individuality as distinct from other spider-people (especially other Peter Parkers), self-consciousness can explain why he doesn’t take off his mask in itsv even around other spiders.

all perfectly valid and interesting reasons! but the first two reasons are doylist and the last one is missing a crucial question: why does he have scars? unless a wound is severe, gets infected, or gets lucky, it won’t usually scar. facial injuries especially need to be really bad to leave a mark. and of course most if not all other spider-people have the healing factor. so what gives??

i like the spider god’s curse influences healing factor idea; it opens up some nice angsty possibilities regarding an inability to Be “Fixed;” no matter how much he tries, he can’t erase/forget what’s happened to him. but i also enjoy the bandaging someone up after a fight genre of fic, and am annoyingly pedantic, so my personal working theory is that the healing factor is not a doctor with ten plus years of experience and an accurate understanding of human anatomy. when a bone really badly breaks, it has to be reset or it’ll heal wrong. to me, the healing factor doesn’t know what ‘right’ is, only ‘fast’ and ‘effective.’ it’s an accelerant, not a substitute for medicine.

so let’s establish the baseline. modern spideys either receive modern medical attention or the injury is superficial enough that they don’t require it. even poverty-stricken peter parkers get rushed to the hospital, because fictional doctors Don’t Care About The Money and/or peter is dolled up in spider gear and who’s going to ignore a visibly beat-up celebrity hero?? plus i honestly believed peter b’s nose was just genetics or smthn. my nose is misaligned and it’s never been broken to my knowledge

to compare, noir lives in 1933 and, far as i can tell, doesn’t rlly garner the same fame and respect from the public as modern spideys do. in the 30s, medicine was meh (they had x-rays but didn’t rlly consider radiation much of a threat, penicillin was still in its infancy, polio was a huge threat, etc) but was also, more importantly, far too expensive for most people suffering during the Great Depression. whatever treatment noir receives after a fight, if any, would look way different from ours. that means his healing factor, which can’t differentiate scars from normal skin or a misaligned bone from a whole one, would be inefficiently assisted or left alone. it would leave its history behind.

on the infectious disease side of things, it’s probably much easier for even noir to recover from less physical ailments like the flu and pneumonia—spider healing factor likely remembers and codes for immunity better than regular immune systems—but without modern drug therapies he’d still be worse for wear, ie internal scarring. mans would have a shorter-than-average parker lifespan if not for the pseudo-immortality of the Spider God

anyway. all this to say, here’s my personal map of parker’s scars. crop tank and daisy dukes to keep tumblr off my ass <3

(tbh this is more for my reference than anyone else’s, i’m sick of looking through my art of Just His Forearms to keep my details consistent, but maybe someone will find it interesting lol)

#spider man: into the spiderverse #spider noir #peter parker #fan theory #also only kind of #general medical history for the 30s is weirdly hard to pin down #half the sources were locked under subscription and the other half were frustratingly vague #but i did my best 👍👍👍#it’s a lot more like deadpool’s healing than traditional spidey healing #he can’t regrow a limb tho lol #the 70s were much better for medical breakthroughs like the mri #and hobie has a community that loves and supports him so he probably doesn’t scar often #but noir is mostly alone. aside from aunt may and a couple of Not Doctor friends..#well. y’know #anyway thanks for the interest!!! i love it when peopel give me the opportunity to be overly scrupulous about things that dont matter

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piosplayhouse · 7 months

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Nendo Bingqiu update and plans:

Ok so I wasn't going to make a post about this until I get my tack for sqq but that's going to take a really long time and I just like them too much to not talk about them for that long so I'm just gonna ramble about my custom plans under a readmore

Here's a transparent horse riding maid binghe though that you can put wherever you want :-) pls have fun with him

So I think I'll paint the blank tb body I'm getting in the mail for sqq because it feels like a natural improvement on the Xiu Ya he has right now that I kind of hate (current on the left, body that I'm changing it out for on the right).

I think I'll be doing a dapple grey for him.

As for Xin Mo, I was poking around some indie sculptors' sites and managed to snag this b-grade sport horse head from Camelot Studios. It's a slightly larger scale (1:9 as opposed to 1:12) but since it is a second there could be scaling abnormalities + breyer models themselves can sometimes vary in scale even within category. So when it comes we'll see if I can Frankenstein it onto him

Here's a full reference of Xin Mo (warmblood stallion) right now:

I think the head could add a lot of personality to what I imagine would be a very difficult horse, so I'm hoping it fits. But even if it doesn't, I wouldn't be opposed to possibly buying a smaller pony traditional model like Brookside Pink Magnum to fit with it instead

#nendo bingqiu

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sibillascribbles08 · 8 days

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Help me make a decision

SO I had a plan going into this year to take a month (May) to do a sort of nano project, and originally that was going to be another rottmnt fic concept I had

But I've had some lingering insecurity with my writing for like, months now, and I'm kind of debating if I want to put that time and work into something that's going to get not a ton of interaction. Not me whining about that for the record, it is what it is and what I'm writing as of late is 100% made for Me. So while I'm not surprised, it makes me hesitant to push myself for a month to write an entire fic only for it to die in the water, ya feel?

The challenge thing isn't off the table, I may just put that energy into my fairytale novel rewrite is the thing.

I will put a rundown of the fic concept under the poll in a readmore in case you wanna look at that before deciding.

The winning result won't make a decision for me btw it's just to give me an idea to work on.

Also please be honest, because tons of people tell me they'd read a thing if they actually wouldn't is just gonna make me feel worse in the long run thank

FIC RUNDOWN UNDER THE CUT

Yes it's a rottmnt fic btw, the title for it is Taken and Lifted Above

Its a sort of Leo goes to the past with Casey Jr. fic, but they land a few days before the key gets stolen. Trying to use this to their advantage, they go to the museum to steal it first. But when they get there they find someone else taking it. And that someone else is Donnie. As in their Donnie, who as far as Leo knew died years ago.

I don't wanna say TOO much about the plot cause there's supposed to be some twists, but I will say this is gonna be one of my gnarlier fics, even compared to Artificial Phoenix. To keep it vague it's gonna contain body horror, brainwashing (??), and major character death (I will not say at what point)

It's something p different from my usual rottmnt fics, so idk how many peeps would be interested, hence me asking.

#scribs speaks #not going in the tag followers decide my fate #one day poll too I don't care to wait a week #wish there were more time span options lmao #idc if you reblog but it is not necessary #if you have comments you can just reply

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theweirderstuffblogdontlook · 1 year

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A short one shot fic about Bob’s disguise as Barbra.

Check it out under the readmore.

Alright, moment of truth. Time to see if all the practice and costume tweaking would pay off.

While the possession amulets were extremely handy for going out in public without anyone getting suspicious.

Since when Bob hid inside her, he was totally hidden from the world. And when she was hidden in Bob, so long as no one saw them switch, their association with each other would be similarly hidden.

It had been getting increasingly clear that this "only one of them existing at a time" thing was not without its own inconveniences.

In particular, feeding into Bobs cabin fever.

Cabin fever makes him want to go out more.

And going out more means more cannibal serial killing.

She doesn't have access to drugs or jail bars to hold him. Her capacity to protect people from him is painfully limited.

So she's been trying to get creative with the damage control.

So came the idea for Barbra.

And the disguise has been made, and the acting has been practiced. The backstory, hopefully memorized.

Now all that was left was a test run.

They parked the truck in front of a small, nowhere sort of bar. Place where there shouldn't be many people, generally a bit more rough and tumble group without super easy targets, and especially no kids that could get caught in the crossfire.

Though her mind and nerves were still buzzing with everything that could go wrong.

"Alright, tell me again the number one rule of this whole scheme."

Bob rolled his eyes from under his sunglasses, but was more amused at her stressing out than annoyed.

"Don't try huntin or hurtin people while playin Barbra."

"Right. If you act suspicious as Barbra, it puts both of us at risk, because people can use me to track down the house to catch us unawares. Then we're either in prison or on the run with no money. Or possibly dead if someone tracks us down who doesn't care to take you in alive."

They start walking towards the bar as she continues.

"So remember, you're Barbra Freeman, a butch lesbian truck driver, but you got in a car accident awhile ago, and had been recovering for a few months. You're wearing sunglasses even while indoors cus the accident left you with a light sensitivity. Just, smalltalk, and not being suspicious."

"Sugarcube, I spent years playin innocent with nobody suspecting a thing. I know how to play nice."

"Yeah and that was awhile ago and you're clearly years out of practice, because in all the time I've known you, you've just been a deeply weird and unsettling person.

Also you're in public in costume Barb, Use the Barbra voice, don't break character."

Already she was losing confidence in Bob's ability to follow the plan. Though Bob, if anything, seemed overconfident. He switches up his tone to a more feminine sounding one, snaking an arm over her shoulders and teasing.

"Right, I'm supposed to be your hot piece of arm candy today. Well, I wouldn't want to deprive ya of a bit of extra time alone with your girlfriend."

She had liked how he hadn't had any problem with disguising himself as a woman. After all it'd be a pretty big insult to write off your whole gender as something gross and embarrassing. Though him being a bit too into it is something her asexual antisocial ass doesn't really know what to do with.

Least beyond getting embarrassed by it. Which in turn gets a chuckle out of Bob.

They head in, and Bob confidently goes to take a seat at the bar, while she takes a moment to nervously scope the place out. There were a few people, not too crowded, not to empty. And they don't seem to be turning many heads.

Before going and taking a seat next to him.

Where Bob puts his arm back around her to mumbles in her ear.

"Loosen up honeymuffin, or you'll be the one making us look suspicious."

Yeah, he's right. They're supposed to at least be friends. Even in a relationship in order to explain away if Bob gets too affectionate.

She tries taking a deep breath and calming down.

Just order something nonalcoholic and chill for awhile. Try to make some small talk.

Despite how terrible she is at small talk in general.

Though Bob was already well aware of her not being the chatty sort. So he takes more the lead for talking with the bartender, and with her.

Though really that more ends up with him teasing her while she tries not to look too embarrassed.

At least Bob could do a pretty convincing imitation of a tough middle aged southern woman though.

Still a relatively deep voice, but not so overt that it couldn't be passed off as "Barbra" having just being a big woman who used to smoke.

She had the feeling he'd gotten some first hand experience learning a number of nuances, and was probably doing an impression of female relatives or family friends or something from his past.

Probably from where he'd gotten his own accent, but she didn't like to pry.

And if she did, now wouldn't be the time for it.

Her head was still on a swivel, despite her attempts to keep it casual. It was hard not to be paranoid. Too many things that could go wrong. Bob was keeping up a conversation with the bartender, so might be a good time to stretch her legs a bit.

"I'll be right back, don't get too crazy without me Barb."

"Heh, you got it darlin."

She went to the back, and thankfully the women's bathroom was empty, so she took a moment to try and calm her nerves and catch her breath.

It's one thing to be around Bob, worrying what he might do. But it was another to put on a cheerful facade on top of that, instead of being her usual irritable self.

She really didn't want to go back out there, and her mood is only worsened as she mentally scolds herself for her hesitancy.

It's unpleasant, but this is the better of her options. The longer she can keep Bob busy the less time he'll have for killing.

Come on.

Get back out there.

You have to supervise the serial killer. This is your idea he's going along with.

Just gotta have him keep his word. Shouldn't be that hard.

And even if it is, no amount of discomfort is worth an innocent persons life.

Suck it up.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and tried smiling. It didn't last long before her face quickly sunk

"Uggh, this is what I get for not putting any effort in with those customer service jobs when I had the chance."

Maybe she can still keep attention away from Bob and not clue people in that she's basically a hostage, while still acting like a miserable unpleasant person who'd rather eat gravel than chit-chat about the weather or the news or some shit.

She leaves the bathroom.

“!!!!” Shit!! Someone's gone to sit with Bob! Looks like some kind of biker guy, on the big and tall side, kinda weathered looking. The kind of guy who could probably take care of himself. Her panic spikes nonetheless.

Ok, calm down, he's out in public, he's gonna talk to some people. It's expected. Doesn't mean the worst is gonna happen yet.

Sure he can always just overpower her if he decides to change his mind and not go along with the plan. But that hasn't happened yet.

She goes to sit down at the bar, on the other side of Bob, not interrupting his conversation with the biker guy. Just quietly listening. Supervising.

And…. Dang this dude really is just outright flirting with Bob. Guy must be into large women.

And Bobs rolling with it. Just liking the attention and teasing the biker guy back.

Well, it's better than Bob getting offended, and he's having fun with it, so this is probably fine so long as it doesn't go anywhere.

And she expects that this is a pretty solid bit of evidence that the Barbra disguise is working. So guess the experiment is a success. They could probably be seen in more crowded locations without people recognizing Bob.

Get him out wasting time doing random stuff so he's too busy to stalk victims.

Uggh, this means she'll have to get out of the house more to do random stuff too and - HOLY SHIT BIKER GUY JUST ASKED BOB OUT.

She'll have to mourn the loss of her weird hermit life later, because NO WAY IS SHE LETTING BOB TAKE THIS GUY TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION!!!!

Shit! How the heck is she supposed to play this off??? Uuuuuuuggghhhh this is gonna be so embarrassing.

She puts on a pissed off face and threatens.

"Excuse me pal, that's my girlfriend you're hitting on, and believe fucking me, this…"

She gestures up and down at Bob.

"This lady right here is a lot more than you're prepared to deal with. Come on Barbra."

She grabs Bob by the hand and starts tugging him towards the door, to which Bob smiles and lets himself be led out, while the biker guy just looks kinda flabbergasted at what just happened as they quickly leave the bar.

She walks for a moment, heading towards the truck, still holding onto Bobs hand.

Before Bob interrupts her anxious mood, saying in his normal voice, though with an additional low suggestive tone layered on, rather than his Barbra affect.

"Yuh know, I think I like you gettin jealous over me for a change."

Her face goes red. And she lets go of Bobs hand.

"Shut up Barb, it's not jealousy and you know it. I just didn’t want you hurting that man."

Bob grabs her hand again to pull her into a hug.

"Fightin over me for other reasons ain't half bad either."

#bob velseb #spooky month #inner demon #Possession #yandere

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the-one-who-lambs · 21 days

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AO3 Questions Tag Game!

I was tagged by @bamsara (on my main @onethirdofimpossible but most of my readers follow me here for cotl stuff so I'm posting it here)

I tag @i-eat-deodorant and @megsiepoo!

Under the readmore because this is long as shit

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

69 BAYBEEEE

2 – What’s your total AO3 word count?

213,360 words published

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

Previously: Pokemon (no longer online), Steven Universe, a few Deep-Sea Prisoner games (Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea, The Grey Garden, Ice Scream)

Currently: Cult of the Lamb

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Care and Keeping of Eldritch Gods. Until the rewrite of RL/FG is done, this is my magnum opus

Present My first ever CotL fic. This was the first time I'd written fic in like four years and I was dusting off my writing muscles...

Smitten soft narilamb....

Cat(nip) Boy wrote this for shits and giggles in my early fandom days. The One Who Waits on catnip

How Narinder Takes His Tea First part of the old RL/FG series. Though I'm remaking it as a longform multichap fic, I'm keeping up the old series because of the memories + I don't want other people who saved the old one to lose it.

5 – Do you respond to comments?

All the time! I was able to respond to literally every single comment back in 2022, but as last year went on, I realized I probably can't realistically do that anymore. It's a blessing and a curse.

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

We already knew how this would turn out. Title not given directly in my answer in case of spoilers. My readers saw it coming because I had built up to it, but I took my time writing the gradual reveal in the last chapter to make sure it landed the way I wanted it to.

And one more comment I won't post here bc (for anyone who wants to read it) spoils the ending but shoutout to the person who physically felt the shock lurch through their body when the realization hit them after the slow build-up.

As much as I love angsty stories with happy endings, what gets me more are stories that are happy at face value, with endings that are heartwrenching because of the underbelly of what lurked beneath that facade.

7 – What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God. Bit a spoilers below if you're avoiding that

The original wedding fic (as part of the original series) is up, but it's going to get a good polishing in the rewrite. Lambert and Narinder are going to have a private first dance, Thenana and Narinder are going to have a deeper conversation, Ratau's interactions with Lambert are gonna be shown rather than just told, Aym and Baal will be revived.

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

Mostly no. There was one time last year that I was compared to another writer in the fandom and slowly asks evolved into "your own concepts are being done better by others" and shit, and the other writer got hate messages as well, and... well, it was a whole thing. Don't wanna talk too in detail about it because I don't wanna beat a dead horse but cotl writers have unionized so we got the last laugh I guess

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lol ya it's on remainderofreality. What "kind?" uh. experimental because I'd never tried the genre before this fandom and it kinda shows but that's okay.

10 – Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Honestly, I'm not really into crossovers! Unless it's Webber in cotl. He can stay, he's cute.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah. It was actually the first fic I posted online, ever. In middle school, I wrote a whole ~100k-ish word self-insert pokemon fanfic, which I wrote by hand in like five composition notebooks, so I never posted that online. But after that I decided to post shorter one-shots for pokemon online, and a few months later I found one of mine reposted without credit. Plagiarized entirely, basically. It scared me and I deleted everything I had posted online, and I don't have extra copies of the works now. :(

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd be okay with it if I was asked beforehand and proper credit was given!

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yeah! Of Duty and Devotion is basically a glorified roleplay between me as Aym, @i-eat-deodorant as Baal, @checkplzjuliet as The Lamb, and @surfdudeboy as Narinder. I also wrote Hide and Seek, a cute little Bishop family one-shot, with @lordiedams (hi Damien I miss you).

14 – What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Narilamb. I haven't focused on a ship for this long, except maybe Rupphire back in the day, but I'm fixated so much more on CotL than I was for SU.

15 – What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Honestly, Of Duty and Devotion lmao. I'm much more focused on my own projects and so are Pavi, Surf, and Juliet. I do want to finish it though.

16 – What are your writing strengths?

Pacing, diction, syntax, getting the intended point across and doing it well. Once I commit to doing something, I don't usually let myself "give up" on it, hence why I barely have any unfinished WIPs. That's a skill honed with tons of practice, though. I have massive ADHD, and I'm bad at finishing things, but when it comes to writing by god I'm gonna do it.

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

I often struggle to get to a point where I'm totally focused in on what I'm writing. It does happen once or twice a month, but honestly, I'm usually so busy with life stuff that I don't get to do that most of the time! I wish I had more time to make room for my hobbies, but alas. At least summer is coming up, and I'll be able to do that more often, hopefully!

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's possible to do it naturally for sure, but I rarely see it done well in fic. I've never attempted it...... or, wait, have I? I guess Thenana's sign language counts, huh? ...I feel like I need to do more research about this topic to answer the question properly.

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon <3

20 – Favorite fic you’ve written?

The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God or The Care and Keeping of Eldritch Gods.

Risen/Fallen (and the enemies-to-lovers narilamb dynamic) was like the first thing that I did to make a "mark" on this fandom, and I didn't expect it to inspire so many people for sure! But, the first iteration of the series was so rushed. I wrote the whole thing in just over three weeks and averaged one chapter published every day and a half. Now that I have a better grasp on the characters after playing with them for a long while, I get to see my improvement, and I get to see so many friends I've made along the way sticking with me, the revamped "director's cut" version is definitely on track to be my favorite work.

However. It has yet to surpass Care and Keeping. As the oldest of four kids in my family, I based so much of Shamura on my experiences as an eldest sibling, and many of the experiences the younger bishops had in their formative years on our own childhoods. I based Narinder's childhood off of brother #1's (brother who is two years younger than me), Kallamar's childhood on my own, Heket's childhood on my sister's (five years younger than me), and Leshy's off of my youngest brother's (ten years younger than me). This story wasn't just an exploration of the Bishops and their dynamic/relationship pre-canon, it's also a testament to my own love as an eldest sibling... and all the anxiety associated with that, too.

Thanks for tagging me! Back to working on my presentation...

#hannah's rambles #hannah writes

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straycalamities · 8 months

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Your post made me curious about Julien.... Would love to hear about him and Andrews relationship

hmm...the conundrum with that is i would like to show it one day so how much to tell...

the thing abt this is julian has ALWAYS been written in andrews life. one of the constants of his story no matter how much he changes. (he used to be named Matty) but ive uh...been a chicken to properly show it because uh its HEAVY.

so hm...i've gone over andrew's family life before so it's not meh to go over it again i think...

that's also mostly stayed the same.

readmore bc...ya boys gonna get long-winded

so andrew has a very strict mother with very high expectations of her children, but especially him. his father is more lax and easy-going, pretty carefree tbh, but bc of this its to a fault where he also just..doesnt want to confront his wife. so things kinda..go out of control in the household as far as...his mom's weird like..competition thing between andrew and his sister

so andrew has a twin sister Alana (anyone remember Jackie? yea) and she's pretty naturally good at whatever she puts her mind to. not that she doesnt bust her ass, but things just? come to her. it's just how it is. and she's very much a daddy's girl which pushes andrew into the role of momma's boy. so then it becomes andrew's dad and alana vs andrew's mom and andrew. except. it's pretty much only andrew's mom pushing this narrative, but she's a very convincing person and is the kinda person to naturally command a room

alana is also a naturally curious person so she likes to pick up hobbies and things and practice them until she's over it or good at it or both. and thus..andrew gets pushed into these things too, to not be outdone

the thing about andrew, though, is that he's got a more particular way that he needs to engage with things to actually pick things up and learn them. first of all, he's a very kinetic learner so just reading or hearing a lecture about it doesn't do anything for him. and unfortunately he doesn't have anyone in his life early on (teachers nor family) who understand this about him. they just think there's something wrong with him or off about him or that he's lazy/doesn't care.

but andrew cares. oh he cares. way too much. and he works. so hard. to try to match with the expectations weighing on him, but it just! doesn't happen! no matter how hard he tries! he can't absorb what he's reading! he can't process what he's hearing! when he DOES get the chance to just get his hands on things and figure things out, he shines

and alana tries to help because despite it all, she cares a lot about him. she tries to show him things or tell him what helped her, but it's just..different. the things that work for her, dont't work for him. and she also can't be with him a lot because she has a lot going on. she has big aspirations and she has lots of friends (more things he struggles with) how did they end up so different u_u

so andrew's daily life is very very stressful. he feels like he's always under watch, under scrutiny, every little thing is being judged, weighed, and measured. and that just makes everything much harder for him. he eventually learns over-time to perform great under pressure but that's because the pressure in his adult-life is nothing like the pressure of his childhood lmao

(and if this is a universe where he's got the necromancy thing goin on, there's THAT whole can of worms too. bc of how looked down on and oo scary necromancy is)

so its like..andrew does have his aspirations, his dreams. he wants to be an astronaut! :) and he maintains some semblance of that goal his whole life. he just likes space! he thinks its neat and would rather just spend all day learning about space than anything he's supposed to be learning. not that it's easier, but he's more motivated lmao

he's a C or low B student (idk how to translate american schooling marks into anything else sorry..american moment) and so he's not doing...too bad, but definitely not enough to his teachers or his parents. and he's "inconsistent" bc go figure sometimes lessons are more to his learning capabilities and he excels so oh no now ppl have Proof He Can Do It why cant he do it All The Time. fantastic.

being so focused on making everyone proud or proving everyone wrong in other cases (yes andrew does operate on a level of spite) has andrew finding little time for himself. especially bc his moms the type to not like uhh idle activities. everythings gotta have a Point of Growth. literally the only reprieve is that his mom works away from home a lot, but she'll definitely call or video-call often to make up for that fact. and andrew's The One she has her eye on. he's Her responsibility to better

(the thing about his mom is god she's a strict hard-ass but she does love him uh...so i'm not trying to make it all Ooo Evil Heartless Mother Time. nah she cares but boy is she awful at showing it. and that's not an excuse but..yaknow. it is how it is. her whole thing abt being such a tyrant is that she's worried about him and wants him to do better and Be better and so she's gonna force it down his throat til it takes ...rip)

ofc his family all has their bonding pleasant moments its not all hell all the time and like i said his dad and sister are more uh..better at showing they care but still not..amazing. the whole household like i said before in another post is more reserved than like..ji-hoon's for example who freely give hugs and stuff

anyways so alll of this uh..stuff is to explain: Andrew Doesn't Have Friends LMAO his entire elementary school experience is spent not having time for friends and eventually just not knowing how to Make them bc he had no practice or experience doing so. and the other kids don't think much about him because he doesn't make time for them? they've got other ppl to hang out with. and when a kid does make an attempt he fucks it up somehow or his mom scares them off with the Restrictions for how andrew is allowed to interact with other kids (if andrew wouldnt tell them tho they wouldnt have to know..smh)

by the time he's transitioning to middle school is when he meets julian. julian ALSO does not have friends (gee wonder why (youll see why)) and julian sees andrew not having friends either and thinks well! time to have this loner be MY friend. and julian is a pretty charismatic person when he wants to be. he knows how to small talk and keep conversations going and all that. i say this like a tween julian already has evil intentions but tbh..nah it DOES honestly start off innocent enough. julian has a lot going on at home too and wants someone to be his friend. simple as that. andrew doesnt already have a group, so..easy choice there. should be

the stuff that usually scares ppl away doesnt work on julian because he's a very anti-rules disobedient sort at this point already anyways. he just sees it as a challenge really so even if andrew makes things awkward by parroting his moms rules on how he can interact with other kids based on her paranoias about the typical Child and what they could teach Her Precious Baby it doesnt phase him. he gonna do it anyway

they do have interests in common, turns out! they like some of the same music. some of the same shows/movies. and things like that. the rest of it Becomes shared interests bc julians the type to go "hey i like this. now you will too" and for the most part? their shared tastes go a long way and andrew DOES end up liking most things julian introduces him to

at first julian does kinda..have no choice but to follow the Hard Rules that andrews got for hanging out so..they pretty much only see each other at school, they start picking up writing letters for each other to read only when they get home so they can write a reply and they get kinda lengthy as more topics get added lol

but eventually julian starts convincing andrew to like..shake things up a bit. asks where he lives. turns up at his window. just to chaaat ofc. theyre not gonna get in trouble psh.. its just talking. then it becomes andrew calling julian at home even tho he's not allowed to be on the phone, but if he does it at night then nobody can catch him (or if his moms away bc tbh does his dad rly care..? but andrew assumes he does)

and so julian and andrew get steadily closer and closer that way and andrew is. ecstatic. his first friend! and a really close one! they're best friends! and for julians credit, he's still just thinking "yay i have a friend. someone that makes life suck less :) even if he's a dweeb who i need to teach to live life"

and okay well anything further about them needs content warnings: very unhealthy, toxic relationship talk. manipulation

so unfortunately. julian has a very uhh extreme view on his life. he likes to exaggerate everything (usually for the worst) and jus tlike in general. not just describing it, he actually feels like his life is the worst life anyone could ever have. his parents split up when he was young and now he's being raised by his grandma who is also strict but in a way where its like..shes strict on him but lives kinda like..whatever, herself. shes very do as i say not as i do but julian hangs onto the Example she's putting off and hates her guts for having the Audacity to try to make him do different when she cant even do it herself. he also has an uncle who has his fingers in a lot of very shady pots and so julian is keen to things he rly shouldnt be at a young age

so with all that, he has a tendency to kinda lash out at the world around him. thats sorta his...uh version of coping. and with so many ppl putting him at arms length mostly because of THIS part of his behavior especially, he's only got one person at his side. loyal. always there for him.

unfortunately thats andrew

and it starts small like..playful insults. nothing rly anything at first it could just be the way he shows affection. but then the insults hit parts that sting deeper and deeper. and get more and more personal. and julian starts making almost memes? of some of andrews faults, weaknesses, and insecurities as if that's just one of their Inside Jokes they have, yknow, as best pals. so andrew feels like oh well i have to like this bc its Special and its just for me. i should appreciate that he's doing this. nobody else has this. and he's not being Mean he's just being playful

and unfortunately the more andrew lets him get away with it, the worse julian gets about it. the thing is that nobody's taught andrew self-worth yet. he's been too busy trying to be what other people want him to be. so here he is, also being what julian wants him to be: a punching bag. but he doesnt realize thats what it is. he just thinks julian wants andrew to be the type to be "playfully rude" with but, again, im saying julian goes way past that

and as julian gets older, the more he reserves what used to be how he was with everyone, being him, being genuine in all the worst and best ways, with only andrew. so everyone else gets this very like..agreeable neutral kinda personality out of julian. so then andrew also sees THAT and thinks wow..i really am special

and as years go by and they go from middle school to high school and social situations change around them, andrew feels even more lucky he's gotten somebody special to him and that he's special to because by highschool it feels like everyones already got their cliques and their partners-in-crime and he'd feel like a mega loser without julian. and julians shown him and taught him so many cool things that give him things to actually talk about with other ppl when they Engage with him?

but yeah throughout highschool julian teaches andrew more and more rulebreaking habits. they even set up ways to make money at school w stuff like..selling test answers or snacks or stuff when they can get away with it. or skipping classes or other things. vandalizing things. pranking ppl (harmless :) ofc..but maybe only physically so)

so we return to julian's uncle. liek i said he's a shady dude. well. he starts involving an older julian in his shady shit. so now julian and andrew are peddling fkn weed and prescription drugs around their school and neighborhood. eventually they're hotwiring vehicles to steal. (kinda uhh tragically this is actually where andrew figures out he's pretty good at cars and likes them a lot and even if he's having a constant crisis about Being Awful, he's also uhhh more motivated to learn how to do a new thing and Be Good At It. bc that's the thing isnt it? he's finally Good At Something) and stealing other things too

and i kinda quickened the pace here but its like..well it does escalate pretty quickly because at some point julian has andrew wrapped around his little finger and tho there are the times one or both of them get caught and andrew gets in trouble, has a crisis, and swears off doing anything like that ever again!! julian just has to warm andrew up to it again. because by highschool julian also has the upper hand in that he's become andrew's gay awakening. so now andrew has a huge crush on him and especially wants to impress him and keep him around and notice him and find him cool and worthwhile

and at first julian is sorta confused?? but diversity win! the manipulative toxic asshole best friend is also into boys! but giving andrew everything he wants wouldnt be very fun would it? he has something to dangle over his head. and he's gotten to the point where this is high risk shit. andrew could very much change his mind about everything about them and leave julian and the longer time goes on, the more paranoid julian becomes of this very thing happening. so he holds onto whatever leashes he can get twisted around andrew

he'll entertain his attraction but never clarifies anything. never gives him like..bold affection. never makes it clear how he feels or if he's even completely fine with it? which adds pressure onto andrew that he's just making all this up. or he's being the weirdo, pushing something on julian who might be straight or something

outside of julian tho, andrew's family is noticing his behavior bc i mean..also hes obviously getting caught doing some of this stuff. and his grades are even worse. and sometimes they get calls abt him missing school? and they try to intervene bc like..andrews got One friend. its gotta be this guy. so they try to ground andrew, ban julian, all kinds of stuff but they're slippery and they've got all sorts of workarounds. and ultimately, they still go to the same school. and..sadly. this, at first, just makes andrew desperate to keep julian all the more bc now he's beome this like..symbol of freedom and having Fun and living life to the fullest and anything related to home starts being associated with prison, suffocation, snuffing out his personality and everything he's learned about himself and like..even if he doesnt rly has Friends outside of julian (he's convinced julian is the only friend he rly wants/needs) he's still seen as cool! the Bad Boy, the Hookup for cool shit (snacks, drugs etc) he's a hit sometimes with the Le Popular Kids ooo... and he might even get invited to get-togethers with julian (julian is actually the introvert to andrews extravert but he Humors ppl for the image and he likes the way andrew always looks at him like a lost puppy when he's trying to figure out what to say in convos with other ppl)

but overtime, julians just gotten too comfortable with being too rough with andrews mentality and his emotions. bc he's never stopped his absolute drilling into andrews squishy parts in order to make himself feel better. or somehow blaming andrew for everything, even julians own shortcomings. and playing hot n cold with andrews emotions and etc. like there's just a lot he does that keeps andrew eternally unsure of where he's standing with julian or if he's doing things Correct or in a way that makes julian Happy. and as andrew gets older and starts Understanding things, he starts Understanding that hey...there's actually a lot about this that he doesnt like. he starts trying to...ask julian to lighten up. to consider his feelings on things. that he wants to do..things he wants to do? why do they always do things julian wants to do. why do they always get into what julian likes but never what andrew likes.

julian is...surprised and he does not Like this change. doesnt like that andrew is trying to cause problems? in their relationship? like why make this a thing? when its nothing? it was fine before? but the thing about letting andrew meet ppl, gain reasons for ppl to wanna talk to him and know him is that he gets to know how other ppl are and how they feel abt him. and though he hasnt made any other Friends, he's just learning how..Normal ppl are. and how julian with him is Not Normal. and its in a bad way bc andrew feels bad! he feels sick to his stomach sometimes. and nobody gets to him like julian does! and he thought before it was the crush but now he's starting to realize...he doesnt actually feel that way about julian anymore because he's just gotten so...Cruel

well now when andrew gets grounded/banned from julian, he doesn't fight it. he doesn't find the loopholes anymore. he lets things go and just kinda...tries to see how he feels? and he finds he...feels better. there's ways he feels worse, but there's a lot more ways he feels like he can breathe. like he's a person. and he likes it so...he starts to just ween himself off julian. and julian starts to act up more bc he doesnt have his usual ways to Cope and gets in trouble more, being at school Less and that just causes more distance

and julian is finally living with what he was most terrified of. and andrew is willingly? throwing him away? and he cant have that. he's at his wits end and panicking

new content warning: whew boy suicide mention/suicide-baiting

and thats all i rly have to say aint it

he holds the fact over his head that if andrew actually does officially cut ties with him, julian will kill himself. that he has no reason to live if he doesn't have andrew. that andrew is his everything and the light of his life, his joy, all that. and he cant't just? leave him like this?

and at first andrews like wait no this is awful dont do that..im sorry and like..tentatively keeps his ties to julian, tries to continue things the wya they were! just uh..different! bc if julian wants andrew to stay then..compromises have to happen okay? and julian says he agrees but catch things getting worse again and andrew in the same boat he was before

distancing

julian freaking out in a panic at 2am on a phone call describing what he's about to do til andrew apologizes again

rinse

repeat

but andrew eventually is just...tired. man. he's getting closer to graduating. he really does NOT need this. it's taking such a heavy toll on him bc rly! nothing else terrible in his life ever really went away, this is just an addition. it's not that his mom saw him acting out and thought oh...this is bc im too hard on him, nah, she stays hard. she gets Harder. his moms stern and affectionless and doesnt understand his plights, his sisters always so busy with her life, and his dad is out of touch. and mostly: andrew doesnt want to bother anyone with his problems. its his own fault, after all. its his mess. and he also is terrified of what anyone would think of even..half the things he'd have to admit to get them to understand. or even a fourth tbh

so one day he just..has had enough. julian threatens to tell his parents what he's done, what he's really like even if it brings julian down too. julian plans to be dead anyways after so what does it matter

and andrew just tells him to do it and hangs up

he feels sick to his stomach for days, but also is too fed up to call and apologize or take it back. he flip-flops on both so much he ends up doing nothing at all

and this is where julian is officially out of his life. i call it Schrodinger's Julian at this point bc did he? or didnt he? well what is the truth is he just does not show up again. so andrew is free but..he literally does not know at what cost. and the guilt eats him up alive for the rest of his life as well as all the damage literally going from like 12-13 to 18 with what this shit did to him

(cw: suicide stuff over)

this is where some of the stories diverge? umm..he either goes immediately to college or waits. with the college timeline Also diverging to oh he makes it somehow or oh he has to drop out

my default tho is that he does try, but he has to drop out. and makes an absolute mess of himself while he's trying. college parties and nightlife and everything else. sex drugs and rock n roll pretty much. everything he knows about connecting to other people is completely Fucked and so he thinks he's making connections but it's not real. and nothing feels like it did with julian but that should be a good thing? or should it. he misses the old julian and he misses the good parts and he feels like he'll never have that with someone again or that maybe...if he did...they'd do the same thing. maybe its dangerous to be that close to anyone. but oh he wants it. so bad.

and we'll continue with my usual story but uh (cw: drugs/drug-use)

we have to delve a bit into the fact he becomes an addict. because he very much does. with all the escapism he does in college because he's just trucking along without processing a drop of this? no therapy? not even someone to vent to or hold onto? nah man. shits rough. and he loses himself in many kinds of drugs but heroin is his Drug of Choice and also loses himself in other people but in shallow ways. he becomes a party animal but in the worst way and that becomes his "college" is just this whole social scene that he's not even engaging with in a meaningful way bc he's too terrified of earnest closeness with another human being

meanwhile his grades tank and he just...stops going. needless to say he becomes very much a disaster of a human being at the end of this. the thing is tho..its all self-internalized. he doesnt take it out on other ppl or even want to make it other ppls problems. he tries to just come off as this rly fun guy whos up for literally anything. and like yeah ppl who hang w him enough can definitely See Somethings Up but he's literally just like oh its nothing! its fine im fine! bc no if he opens up about anything everyones gonna hate and abandon him

and unfortunately this gets back to his mom and she uh...cuts him off. completely. if he wont get cleaned up. if he wont just...BE better jst DONT be this trainwreck of a son or else. dont associate with her. thinking maybe itd be a shock enough he'd just Get Better? (lmao) but lmao no. and he rly spirals bad after that but luckily his dad and his sister still sneak contact with him, doing what they can? with someone who doesnt wanna make anything anyone elses' problem and insists he's fine everythings. Fine.

what Does finally have him like?? find hope again? and cling to it and start to eventually put his life back on its feet again depends on the story im writing but something eventually always does and he always has the same Sponsor to help him :'3 darius...(his old roommate from when he was a teacher at thornville..remember that guy? yea rewrote him into here in a different way) and idk..things do look up for andrew! it's just...a very much uphill battle and that's kinda usually where i place him in like Current Events in whatever sceneario/story im thinking of is after he's gotten on his feet (shakily but he's there) and he's usually a mechanic (sometimes moonlights as a necromancer for hire as well) and he's Working himself up to trying college again but hes taking his time. and he's got some sort of support circle (darius, ji-hoon, and sometimes others)

ji-hoon he actually meets as one of his roommates in college and it takes a lot of Effort from ji-hoon but he sees andrew struggling and kinda nags his way into his life to help and is usually one of the reasons andrew gets inspired to get better bc ji-hoon is literally everything julian wasnt but like in a good way. he cares, unconditionally about ppl in general but especially andrew because idk they just Click right. and like i said in another post, ji-hoon's family basically adopts andrew as well and they're so affectionate and loving and give lots of affirmations and stuff and andrew probably cries bc he's never felt that much love tbh and then feels like shit abt it bc crying is dumb, but then everyone else cries too (happy tears) and its like oh

idk this is where i start having lot sof tangential thoughts so ill leave it here but uh! yeah! so that's the story of julian and andrew! and the damage it did! and yes! this is true in every iteration of andrew ive ever written! (the julian and childhood family stuff part, not necessarily all the rest that comes after, a lot of that's new)

#asks #sharcbait #andrew cho #giant fucking ass-long lore post ig #bless your fucking SOUL if you read it all im your biggest fan #basically andrew's entire story pretty much i guess #oops just kinda typed it up in an ask #sighs one day ill write it/draw it proper

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jekyll-doodles · 1 year

Note

wait 😲💡 if youre alagadda persona trade miracles can not you make the lords human again

For irl reasons, no. because I'm not much of a writer.

For the bit, however, technically yes. I'll refer to the persona character as "Jekyll" for clarification. under a readmore because it turned out longer than expected bhfdjskb

"Jekyll" is a active healing green, and although the returning of a whole human body and memory would be more of a regeneration thing, these deals could and would be viewed as a Healing venture. Its the end goal and such.

Returning the citizens to themselves would be simple but slow. Though the world they knew has changed quite a bit, and adjusting will take a long while, no one will notice if someone goes missing every once in a while. The lords, however, present a unique problem, given the seemingly ever watching eyes of the Ambassador along with having no real way to phrase "returning them to their human forms" without tipping them off, but everyone wants something (more power, an escape, etc.), its only a matter of figuring out what they desire and then phrasing.

035 would be fairly simple. One would just wander their way to his containment cell -- not called Ghostly for nothing after all, gotta avoid detection and only need to manifest a voice to make a deal -- and make the mask an offer: "Jekyll" will give him his former body back, on the condition that he seeks revenge on the Ambassador. The how and when and then Whatever he decides to do after is up to him. The sprite just supplies they think it'll be funny to see the ambassador fall. And if he needs the motivation to do so, a friendly reminder that failure to hold up his end of the deal with result in its nullification. Back to being a mask in a glass case. "Jekyll" conveniently fails to mention when they plan to collect on this deal.

Now, since he doesn't recall ever being human, there'd be no need to specify. Once agreed, its a snap and poof -- an unconscious human man, clothed because it'd be cruel not to also give him clothes, laying in the containment cell next to a broken mask. Sprites don't tend to meddle too much, so it'd be up to the foundation to deal with him and the Crisis he'll expereince when he wakes up. All those forgotten memories resurfacing, being a semi-normal human again the sprite left some magic intertwined, and then having to figure out just how he's suppose to seek revenge now. But has to. For his family, his friends, the citizens, and in the back of his mind, himself. To go back to being a mask in a glass case... I'd imagine he wouldn't want to think about it too much. Probably makes him claustrophobic.

As for the king... I'm afraid that falls way out of "Jekyll''s jurisdiction. Just a healing sprite, and it'll take more then a bandaid to fix that mess. For now, perhaps just putting him into a deep sleep would suffice. It might ease some of his misery -- hard to tell with cosmic horrors, ya know

#sprite lore sprite lore #vjfdklhj having silly fun times thinking about this stuff #headcanon #scp #scp alagadda #scp 035 #sprite shenanigans #ask #anon #greenghostlyjekyll #scp wakey wakey

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elvenbeard · 1 year

Text

To Bad Decisions

Notes: aka the "I love you"-game-of-chicken story inspired by this otp ask game the other week! @wanderingaldecaldo here you go xD First I wanted this to be just light-hearted fluff and fun, but then the angst grabbed me and it got looong, hence to be continued under the readmore!

Cyberpunk 2077 drabble, Kerry Eurodyne x V, set a few months post-ending, rated M for the opening paragraph mostly XD

V struggles with putting his feelings into words, scared that Kerry might be catching on - or is he potentially struggling with the same thing? No, that can't be, right?

The first time V almost said it out loud would have been at one of the worst moments possible to do so: pinned down on their bed, on his stomach, Kerry fucking him so good his head was spinning, barely able to even think a coherent sentence.

“I - …” he gasped, but caught his breath just in time, closed his eyes, and buried his burning face in the heavenly cold pillow.

“You…?” Kerry purred into his ear, out of breath as well, and that alone almost sent him over the edge. He didn’t recall what he ended up saying, a jumbled mess of words and noises… but thankfully not the three originally on his mind.

It was silly, really. Firstly, that he struggled so much with just expressing what he felt, and secondly, trying to find the perfect moment to do so when such a thing would never exist. Or well, maybe perfect moments did exist, but he always only seemed to recognize them once they were gone. The morning after the yacht trip, when they’d woken up together in Vs bed, warm and safe and comfortable, just peacefully existing side by side… Kerry blinking at him through tousled hair, smiling softly… that had been a perfect moment, it would have felt right. But it also would have been way too soon. They’d known each other for how long, two weeks maybe? Three if he counted the whole mess surrounding the organization of the SAMURAI reunion, but that had been mostly Johnny doing the talking, not himself. At that time, V had still feared his feelings could have been just brought on by Johnny actually, and whatever kind of thing that had been going on between him and Kerry a long, long time ago… that with Johnny the butterflies and their connection would also disappear, sooner or later. That it was not right to lead Kerry on, should it eventually happen, no matter how much he’d already liked him on that one perfect morning, on that beach, on that balcony…

But then his feelings didn’t fade. Things were different now, but better than V could have ever dreamed of. Kerry made him happy in a way he hadn’t deemed possible anymore, after all that had happened, after so many past disappointments. And yet, or maybe because of that, he couldn’t silence the nagging voice in his head – his own this time – that for whatever absurd reason Kerry didn’t feel the same. That by saying what he felt out loud, he’d ruin everything, again, for both of them.

“Remind me, what’s the plan for today again?” Kerry yawned as they sat in the kitchen the next morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and scrambled eggs still hanging in the air.

“That one client I told you about… Cancelled last minute because “something important” came up. Again,” V muttered, scrolling through the sheer never-ending list of appointments on his holo.

Kerry scoffed.

“Told ya. It’s never gonna happen. This is what, the fourth time he’s postponed?”

“Guess you’re always right after all,” V teased and got up to put their empty plates and mugs in the dishwasher.

“’Course I am,” Kerry said; after a short pause he added “But it’s his loss, not yours.”

“True,” V said, “And it also means I’ll have an hour or two of spare time to fill around three. Could swing by the studio, if you want?”

He didn’t reply for a few moments, causing V to look up from the dishwasher. Kerry sat leaned on the counter, his chin resting on his hand, and he stared at him with an expression he couldn’t quite figure out.

“I… would love that,” he then said with a smile, but for a split-second V thought he was going to say something else, his heart beating harder and faster instantly.

“Bring some coffee and bagels maybe?” Kerry added with a wink and V laughed.

“Sure thing.”

Maybe it was not even necessary to say anything out loud. Never touch a running system. Why accidentally ruin something that was working out so well, against all odds? Living with Kerry felt so easy, so natural. Of course, it wasn’t always smooth sailing. They’d had their struggles and fights over the silliest and also the most serious things. But there was never malice, and they were constantly working on their communication, stating their needs, their wishes, and getting to know each other’s boundaries. Kerry was a lot more in touch with his emotions and feelings than V though. Maybe that was something that just came naturally with age and life experience. Or it was just how he’d always been like, not afraid to state his mind. V had always struggled with showing or even allowing feelings. Surprisingly, Kerry was still just as good as him, maybe even better, at masking his real intentions around people whom they did not concern – be it managers, medias, even fans and the like. A long-honed craft for sure, his badass, laidback rockerboy persona, and essential to surviving in the corporate-run world the music industry was. V knew from his own experience only too well that everything you said, every hint of weakness you showed, would be exploited and used against you mercilessly and shamelessly – for money, for power, for fame.

When they were alone though, or around their closest friends, Kerry was so much softer around the edges… carried his heart on his sleeve, really. Or so V had thought.

“Alright, gotta bounce,” V yelled, grabbing his sunglasses from the counter before rushing to lean over the sofa’s backrest to give Kerry a quick peck on the cheek, “I - …”

Fuck.

“I… will give you a call if anything unexpected comes up.”

Kerry looked up from his guitar, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“Alright, come back safe,” he then said, reaching up to grab his collar and pull him back in for a proper kiss.

“’Cause you know, I…” he paused as their lips parted, again causing V’s breath to hitch for a moment, “I still need you.”

He smiled that heart-melting smile he was so good at, and V was half-tempted to call the client and tell her he’d run late, or just cancel altogether. Reluctantly he pulled away and walked out the door.

In the elevator he kept wondering though if “I still need you” was really what Kerry had been meaning to say.

Over the course of the following week, V kept noticing more and more of these little moments, caught himself almost slipping up a lot more often. At first he wondered if Kerry was as aware of it as himself. So many “I… hope you’ll have a good day”s, “I – will miss you”s, “I… I’ll talk to you later”s couldn’t just be flying past him. The longer it continued on, the more he wondered if maybe, just maybe… Kerry was playing along on purpose? Or was he also avoiding just to say the words, out of fear to mess things up between them? He couldn’t quite believe either option. Maybe he just ignored it, to not make it even weirder, or maybe it was not as obvious as V thought.

By the end of the week, V asked himself, did it actually matter? That they said it, if and when they said it, who’d be the one to say it first, if at all? Maybe he was overthinking it. He knew he loved Kerry, more than he’d loved anyone before. And he did feel loved by him just as much. Sure, it would be nice to hear it out loud, now and then, but maybe actions did speak louder than words. Little gestures, touches, just being near each other, picking the other up when he was feeling down, being encouraging, or sometimes also just silly. Making commitments, promises, and keeping them. Daring to plan for a future neither of them had thought they’d get, together. It was not important to say it when they lived it, is what V decided for himself eventually. Why ruin something, maybe not perfect, but pretty fucking close to it, with a bunch of words so loaded with bad memories and regrets for both of them?

“I… have an itch for new ink,” Kerry said one night at the villa, where they regularly hid away from the noise and the stress of the city for a few days. They had settled down on the sofa together, Kerry lying on his back, his head on V’s lap, Nibbles dozing by his feet. V was running his fingers through Kerry’s hair absentmindedly as they’d been watching a new show on TV. It didn’t turn out to be as good as they’d hoped for though, so at this point it had devolved into background noise to their conversation.

“Where? And what?” V asked, and Kerry gestured across the left side of his chest.

“To compliment the one on the right, kinda,” he said, “But I’m not sure if I’d wanna to go for a traditional design, too, or something else.”

“Well, you have a traditional and a neotraditional sleeve each,” V said, “Could go with something neo for that side?”

Kerry hummed.

“Good point…” he said, “Ooor… something a bit smaller first maybe? After all, I have some space left here.”

He lifted his left arm, twisted his wrist around.

“But I’m even more clueless about that. I guess it’s really just an itch still that might pass…”

“I know the feeling,” V chuckled. After a short pause he asked, “Any tats that you ever regretted getting?”

“Actually… no,” Kerry said surprisingly fast, “I’ve lived long enough to collect all sorts of regrets, but that’s thankfully none of them. Although, this part here…” – he pointed to the crook of his left arm – “That was a fucking bitch to endure. No machine, the ink literally hammered in by hand, for hours. The. Fucking. Worst.”

V chuckled.

“It’s fucking preem-looking though,” he said.

“Beauty knows no pain or what?” Kerry snorted.

“No, not that even,” V said, “More like… it’s worth it to endure the pain sometimes, for the outcome?”

Kerry hummed approvingly, smiling up at V.

“That’s pretty much the tradition. One of the many at least, a coming-of-age ritual. You’re old enough to endure this pain, you’re old enough to endure all other pain life might be throwing at ya at a certain point.”

“I keep learning new things with you,” V smiled.

Kerry shuffled around, then sat up and stretched before scooching a little closer to V again, putting his left arm around him. V’s heart did a silly little bounce in his chest, causing the voice in his head (that sometimes still eerily sounded like Johnny) to say, “What are you, twelve?”. But simultaneously he hoped these little things his body did would never stop happening, no matter how many months… no, years, they’d be getting together. Positive thinking, he needed to remind himself.

“Okay, that was my answer to the regrets-game for today,” Kerry said, “Your turn: what’s the decision you’ve made that you regret the most, looking back?”

“Shit… lemme think a moment,” V sighed, slumping against the backrest and into Kerry’s embrace.

A few things came to mind immediately. Not leaving his abusive home sooner, as a teen… but then he might not have ever met Jackie. Everything would have gone down completely different. Letting Jenkins rope him into working for Arasaka, after thinking he’d left that world behind for good? But he’d be so much more clueless, maybe even careless about how to survive in this corporate-controlled world. He’d be a lot worse at what he was doing now… if he’d ever even gotten this far without what he learned during his time at Counterintel. Maybe one of his many failed past relationships – but he could think of at least one reason for each of them that had let him grow as a person or learn something integral about what he wanted and needed in a long-term partner. The closest he came to almost picking as his biggest regret so far was not taking Evelyn’s offer of screwing over Dex – but at the time there was no way for him to have known how this would all play out. In hindsight, Evelyn hadn’t been telling him the full truth, so his intuition hadn’t failed him completely. If he could change one thing, he would have wished for Jackie not to die that day. But by now he had accepted that it had never been in his power, it hadn’t been his fault… a hard thing to unlearn, blaming himself. Had Jackie not died though – and for a moment he hated himself for the thought – the Relic would have gone to Brigitte. Had Jackie not got hit by that bullet, V’d likely never heard of Johnny Silverhand or SAMURAI besides the occasional radio show…

“Can I be super cringe for a moment?” he eventually asked, turning his head to a snickering Kerry.

“You’ve let me get away with so much cringe already, only fair if I return the favor,” he said.

V took a deep breath, looking down on his hands for a moment, circling his personal link port with his right thumb. Then he blinked back up at Kerry.

“I don’t regret any of my decisions, even the bad ones,” he said, “Because if the summary of all my bad decision means I’m ending up here with you, in this moment… I’d gladly make all the same mistakes again.”

Kerry stared at him, not wide-eyed or anything, but intensely. The tiniest noise escaped his mouth, less than a sigh, but he said nothing. Then, very slowly, his lips curled into a smile. V half expected a snarky remark, but instead Kerry pulled him a little closer and with his free hand took V’s, calloused fingers intertwining with his. He looked away for a moment, and V tried to read his expression, scanning for any hints to give him at least an idea of what was going through his head, if he’d overstepped, said something wrong…

“It’s weird…” Kerry then quietly said, looking at him again, eyes glistening slightly, almost sad, but not quite, “… how you keep managing to put into words what I can’t seem to. God knows I’ve fucked up along the way, over and over again. But if any of that hadn’t happened, who knows if we’d ever even met.”

V smiled, sighing with relief. Kerry leaned over, resting his head on V’s shoulder.

“I know, it’s still scary to think of the future, to plan ahead too far,” he said quietly, “But no matter what happens tomorrow, or in a week, a month, a year… I hope you know that you’re gonna be stuck with me. I… hope you know that… that I love you.”

V couldn’t suppress a gasp, to his own surprise. Kerry still held his hand, his other arm loosely around his waist, when he shifted again to see his face. He looked concerned almost, questioning, worried, but trying to keep up his smile, lips shaking a little. He sat up a bit further, inching away just slightly, and V realized how he’d just been staring at him in shock for the last few moments of silence.

“I… uh, I mean,” Kerry mumbled, voice almost turning frantic now, as if he’d also just realized what he’d said.

V’s hand shot up to grab Kerry’s face, to pull him back, to reassure him. Before he really knew what he was doing he pressed his lips on his, kissed him over and over again, held him close, did not ever want to let him go.

“I love you, too,” he gasped between urgent kisses, and simultaneously it was as if he was able to breathe freely again, for the first time in a long time, “So much. I love you so much.”

“Vince,” Kerry panted, and only with some mild force managed to get him to stop for a moment. V realized how much he was shaking first, and then that he was crying, for some reason. The last time he’d cried was the night he’d stumbled out of Arasaka Tower, more dead than alive. Shit, why now?

“It’s all good, you gonk,” Kerry said softly, cupping his face, wiping his tears away. The same way he’d done that awful, awful night.

“It’s all good,” Kerry repeated, then put his arms back around him, pulling him in, and they just sat there, holding each other, reassuring each other, gently swaying, for minutes that seemed to last hours, until V had calmed down again. Nibbles was quietly snoring, the TV babbling endlessly on low volume, and soft rain pattered against the large windows, Night City’s millions of lights a distant, colourful blur.

“Fuck, I was so scared for a moment that I’d ruined it all…” Kerry eventually said, and V laughed weakly, nose stuffy and throat still tight.

“You were scared? I was scared shitless to say it too soon, or in the wrong moment… I kept almost slipping up… just saying that out loud now, how stupid.”

“Well, you’re welcome then,” Kerry chuckled, “And I was wondering if I was imagining things or if you really just tried your hardest not to say it.”

“We’re both fucking gonks…” V concluded, and Kerry laughed. They slowly moved apart just enough to be able to look at the other again, still holding on.

“Perfect match then, hm?” Kerry smiled with his head slightly tilted, his gorgeous eyes glittering in the lights of the city, “Now we just have to start being less scared of making bad decisions.”

V smiled back at Kerry, vowing to make sure to tell him just how much he loved him at every opportunity from now on.

“Yes,” he said, “To bad decisions.”

“To bad decisions!”

#cyberpunk 2077 #kerry eurodyne x v #cyberpunk 2077 fanfiction #cyberpunk 2077 fanfic #kerry eurodyne #male v cyberpunk #otp: to bad decisions #vincent ezaki #my writing #this story is basically just why I even decided on that ship name for them #it's also the steam achievement's name for completing Kerry's story but it also fits them together with their background so well I think #I dont remember when I've last written so much for just one character/ pairing as over the course of the last week #I'm having such a creative blast rn xD #just gotta gather the courage to start posting that V & Jackie thing that has like 5 chapters already >.>

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moonrisecoeur · 1 month

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omg hey moon!! 🍬 + 📚

HI EM OMG also hehe em is my actual government name so it’s weird it feels like i’m talking to myself 😭

🍬 - unpopular opinion is hard bc like i agree with whatever people say about characters lol. hmm idk if this is unpopular but i feel like ada’s character doesn’t seem to exist outside of leon to a lot of re fans, and like. she’s so much deeper than people give her credit for. people think she’s evil when literally all the girl has ever done is her JOB. not her fault if the random white boy was dumb lol. people and more often than not men just see a female character who does bad things and hate on her for the same bad things male characters do. and don’t hate on the male characters. ada and wesker are the perfect depiction of this !!

📚 - last thing in my notes app i actually copied from the internet lol it’s a transcript of an episode of dangerously yours! carnage actually takes a lot of inspiration from this episode !! :) under the readmore cuz it’s longish

again lol this is not my writing this is a transcript !!

“…You mean you’re actually going to kill me..?” (male character)

“I mean just that.” (female character ‘catheryne’)

“Well… go ahead.”

“…I’ll do this my own way… Look… you already know my purpose in being here. Now you will either give me my information, or I will kill you. You have until 9 o’clock.”

“You won’t do it. You can’t pull the trigger. You can’t pull it because you love me. It takes a very brave and a very cold woman to do that Catheryne, I don’t think you can… Isn’t that true? Isn’t that why you’re waiting…?”

“Thats not true!”

“Or is it that you want to watch your victim? You want my heart to constrict with agony, my hands to shake! You want me to plead for my life so you can make a generous gesture and spare me… Sorry Catheryne, I don’t seem to be in the mood for prayers tonight.”

“You don’t think i’ll do it? Thats why you’re so brave… You don’t think i’ll do it… You wouldn’t be so brave otherwise…! You’re a coward at heart! You lied to me, you decieved me—“

“You tried to decieve me.”

“—I’m tired of listening to you!”

“You gave me your heart you know… You’r like me to hand it back—whole again. But I won’t. You’ll live a long time yet Catheryne, an eternity without me. You will look into the faces of passers by hoping for something that will-- for an instant-- bring me back to you. You will find moonlit nights strangely empty because, when you call my name through them there will be no answer. Always your heart will be aching for me, and your mind will give you the doubtful consolation that you did, a brave thing.”

“You dare to talk of bravery…!”

“What else do we have to talk about Catheryne? For me— there will never be another woman but you… but for my heart there is another love that must come before you… my country!…… You’re so still, your face is like ice… what are you thinking Catheryne…?”

“What does anything you can say matter…? You betrayed me with words… What good are words when your heart is breaking… If I fail now I should deserve to die. You tricked me into loving you.”

“You’re forgetting that you came here for the same purpose!”

“I couldn’t have betrayed you… I tried to tell you and you said you already knew! I was as honest as I knew how to be!”

“Do you think I wanted to love you…?! Knowing where ya came from and what your mission was?! Don’t you suppose that every hour that we were together I was just thinking ‘Shes just pretending’?!”

“I wasn’t!!! I loved you!!!”

“And I loved you so much I let you pretend… because you brought something to my days I couldn’t stand the thought of losing…Listen to your heart Catheryne. Feel it pounding.”

“Your time is up.”

“Then my last words… I love you Catheryne.”

“You’re determined to die with a lie on your lips..?”

#em <3

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eye-of-yelough · 4 days

Note

🍋🍪🍫!!

eeeeeeee thank!! doing this out of order cos the worst memory definitely had to be put under a readmore 😬

🍪 - what is something sentimental to your oc?

saved this one for last and i still don’t really know. i don’t think he’s very materially sentimental though. i think when he peels the face bandages away after Gortash gives him the lip/neck scars it’s like. in tv shows when they get makeovers and look into the mirror and cry because they’re so beautiful lmao. truly an insane response. but the Orin lobotomy happens really not very long after that so he doesn’t get the chance to enjoy it for long.

OH. the spiders lyre that Minthara gives him. when i mentioned everything reminds me of her by elliott smith was an aerynthara song the part i forgot to mention was that i imagine him playing it on the spiders lyre 🥹 i don’t think this Literally happens but it’s a cute image. i think he does try to teach himself how to play it but he sucks so bad and his singing would make your ears and eyes bleed.

🍫 - where does your oc go to think?

do people actually have “thinking spots”? i feel like that’s not really a thing. (<- guy who never leaves his room) anyway i don’t think he has a thinking spot but his “stop thinking” spot is basically any body of water. amphibious little fucker. maybe he wouldn’t be so weird if someone took him on a swimming date.

horrible horrible shit under the cut i’ve talked about this a little bit before in the tags of a post a few days ago, but this is in more detail. mentions of rape, both physical and psychological is the only way i can think to explain it. it’s bad. and csa.

🍋 - what is your oc’s most painful memory?

it isn’t one specific occasion, more a chain of events that gets worse and worse. i don’t know how to say this gently so i’m just gonna be super matter-of-fact about it. Aeryn got groomed and eventually sexually assaulted by his private piano tutor as a kid. (the fact that gort plays piano. ick) emphasis on the “groomed” part cos when his foster parents found out and they tried to have the bastard arrested he killed them to protect him. i don’t know exactly what happens between that and him getting adopted by Zhander the warlock mentor, but he doesn’t see the bastard who did that to him again. at least uhh. not for a while. Zhander isn’t too bad of a guy and doesn’t mistreat Aeryn, but their criminal lifestyle exposes him (young) to some more people who do over the years. Aeryn coming into his bhaalspawn legacy makes him increasingly difficult for Zhander to handle, especially seeing how Aeryn is using the same language he uses to justify his grey morality to justify brutal murder. he becomes terrified of him.

ok why is this just becoming aeryn’s backstory. yknow what i’ve started now i’m just gonna keep going cos i’m on a roll

Zhander eventually can’t handle the monster he created anymore and sells him to. some kind of Entity. idk Great Old One, it’s weird. this part’s a little a fuzzy if you couldn’t tell lol. anyway The Entity eventually becomes Aeryn’s patron after uhm. some amount of time? lots of horrors experienced in that time i’ll tell ya that much. Aeryn joins the Bhaalist cult at 21, only 4 years before meeting Gort.

to get it back on track to Aeryn’s Worst Memory, at some point he tells Gort about the piano teacher when they were playing their weird “Gortash as Aeryn’s therapist trying to cure his sex addiction” game. a mistake. first off Gort is super fucking creepy about it. but the real horror is a few weeks later when Gort leads him blindfolded into his basement (normal bestie activities) and uhm. locks him in a room with his former piano teacher. (big windows of course) and has no plans on letting him out until he gets his revenge. and i’m not talking about killing him. “takes back his dignity” as Gortash calls it, while forcing him to do the worst thing you could do to another person. and he eventually does do it, to be clear. strangles him to death while he does it and cries until he loses his voice, but he does it. Gortash makes him say “thank you” after wrestling him into accepting being cradled and told how good of a job he did. 😬

oh and Gortash makes sure to adequately break the guy beforehand to make sure it is rape.

and for context on why Gortash does this, because there is a reason: it’s pretty soon after he has the “Aeryn is my literal heart” realisation, but before he realises that his heart is an asset, not a burden. in that period of time, he does a lot of the worst stuff he ever does to Aeryn, including this, in an effect to kill his empathy. his heart. he doesn’t succeed, he never could, but he definitely fucks him up scary style.

so um. yeah. sorry

#um. hi #sorry for. all of that. i wrote this all out of order and i can’t be bothered to read it all again to make sure it make sense so #sorry if it doesn’t #your daily dose of idiocy #oc aeryn #aeryn and gortash

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myrddin-wylt · 1 year

Note

that same British anon here

You know what. Yes I will take Ukraine to be the point of reference here, Ukraine know what they're trying to do and are trying to fucking do it, I can respect that.

But yes I've noticed that all the germans I've known are very scared to criticise the government, and I'm not sure why, might just be a culture difference considering the bullshit the tabloids do here, but they seem genuinely a little afraid

imo Britain's problem in general is that while plenty of Brits can agree that the current situation is Very Not Good, even a riot ain't gonna do shit if it isn't goal-oriented and 100% clear what tangible action people want the government to take, and I imagine there's currently a lot of disagreement rn. like the French have a very clear tangible thing they want from Macron: repeal the law raising the retirement age. Euromaidan had clear goals: Yanukovych needed to resign and the Azarov government be dissolved only being the first of a very long list. also I'm putting this under a readmore because I love to ramble.

as a wider, historical uprising example - and please excuse me for coming off as like, US-obsessed patriot American I swear it's just the document really is written as just a perfect example - the US Declaration of Independence is really fascinating to read because it is literally a list of tangible grievances. 'we are angry and have provided you with a list as to why: because you did [a], [b], [c] etc concrete actions. so we are gonna do [x], [y], and [z] (which just so happen to be high treason).'

so grievances like 'being a tyrant' isn't enough, nor is 'hey I can't afford to heat my house or go to the doctor because you fucking suck at running the country, fix this shit.' ya gotta pick a very specific action, and that's not something I think the general British population has agreed on yet? I mean, yall are very good at getting Prime Ministers to resign (and without needing to use violence to do so), which is a very concrete action! and I'm not saying that sarcastically or in a mean way, I really am being genuine. like the Germans could fucking never. Americans could never, or else Trump would've resigned during his term. so I'm still holding out hope for yall and you know what, what does it matter anyway how many PMs you've had in however many years, as long as the transition of power was peaceful and legal? it's better to swap em out as needed than cling onto one that has shown to be Not The One. like what are you, fuckin Catholic or something? divorce them. serve them the papers. also I really, really do not know nearly enough about domestic UK politics in the last 25 years to be making any of the statements in this paragraph but that won't stop me because I'm an American!

......re: the Germans, hm. I thought they were more complacent than scared, but if they are scared it's presumably because the freedom of speech laws in Germany are............ well, the Network Enforcement Act is not helping. in any case, the Germans have always erred toward the side of censorship when it comes to the freedom of speech/hate speech/misinformation dilemma so maybe there's a cultural attitude of "better to be silent and let others think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt," if that makes sense? maybe they're less concerned about the government censorship and more about social censure/conforming to popular opinion, idk. I feel like I'd have to be fluent in German to be able to understand the attitudes there. you'd need to ask a German about that.

#ask #anon #silly #or at least I'm being silly. gotta break up the monotony #look you gotta admit it's fun to yell. rolls right off the tongue #yall need to come up with a new demonym because yelling I'M A BRIIIIIIIT or I'M BRIIITIIIIIIISH isn't near as fun as I'M AN AMERICAAAAAAN #it just linguistically doesn't work as well

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bitchfitch · 10 months

Text

Another poll because I'm nosy and actively wrestling a bear with "ADHD" spray painted on it.

screen length is just how many full phone screens a post takes up. For example, on my phone this post is roughly 1 screen length. The big beige block under the cut is 3

we're using phone screens bc that's what most tunglr users access the site through, and also bc I can't be fucked to check what it is on desktop.

this text is here to make the read more work yadda yadda ya. and also to show where the readmore was supposed to be since you can't edit a post with a poll on it.(above the first line of this text block)

hi readmore please work I can't edit this post pleaseeeee.

#tbh im asking this bc i tend to enjoy the longer chapters but also have an artist i quite like filtered bc their comics take #an hour to scroll past every time my mutuals rb them #so like. I know for a fact there is a point where it gets Annoying.

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boyfrillish · 10 months

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your works have me curious, what else do ya headcanon for our boy victor? :o (and other chars too! i'm just esp interested in how you filled out his blank slate)

Ohh this is a good one. Since I only played Sword for the first time starting in January, I'm still very much in my formative phase for headcanons and stuff. For most of the characters I can't even say I consciously headcanoned yet, even with all my thinking about everyone and saying "the whole of swsh is my blorbo" (admittedly with most of my focus on Victor and Hop because they're my number one favourites and OTP lol so there are definitely also ship headcanons in here, hope you don't mind! ^^"). I'll put it under a readmore since it kinda got a bit long ^^"

So here's my personal "fixed"/"core" headcanons for Victor when it comes to my own stuff:

he's transmasc and gay (this one was probably obvious since I've made on-text trans references in all but like, two fanfics haha)

he's the one who becomes Champion and is chosen by Zacian

Corviknight, Sylveon, Obstagoon and Toxtricity (evolved from the babby Toxel you get as a gift at the daycare) on the team

Fairy type association

He and Hop won the inaugural Galarian Star Tournament together and are the dream team everyone wants to battle but knows will be tough to beat (Hop calling them "Postwick dream team" is a canon thing, so!)

a short king

Now for personality and other random things? I'm open for so many things lol I did start out (even before I played) with the timid/soft-spoken/shy headcanon and I'm still so very fond of him being timid initially (and that's why Sobble as a starter + the Isle of Armor Kubfu are a perfect fit lol) — whether it's only when he's younger or still at the start of the game but growing confident once he gets his starter from Leon and finds he's pretty good at battling (the fact that he got it as a gift from Leon aka the Champion he admires + big bro of his best friend when Leon met him for the first time combined with Leon just being such a sweet and encouraging dude probably helped with that)

But yeah I'm open for many other headcanons/portrayals in that regard lol cool and confident? bless all the fanart. Easily flustered? sweet. On the oblivious side? heck yes. Sunshine boy? Absolutely, he is a whole sunshine boy 10000000000000%! Just give me all the positive Victor content and I'll probably soak it up happily and cry and have it fuel me lmao thank you for my life.

As for his starter, god I simply cannot decide. I picked Grookey in my game (I really wanted Sobble but joked I was obligated to pick Scorbunny because I like football and then GMax Rillaboom came and said "hi" lol) but as mentioned above I'm so fond of Victor with Sobble. But Scorbunny is also a perfect fit so I've just been rotating around for a bit between my fics (though I think I've yet to actually write him with Scorbunny???). Maybe one of these days I can make up my mind for both him and Hop which starter they choose ^^" in any case: I also live for the whole "they gift each other eggs of their starters and some of their 'mons are partners" thing so there's that (in fact it might've been easy to guess that in my world of things their Corviknight are a partners for sure)

Speaking of Hop, it's my headcanon that Victor has a crush on him pretty much since they're kids/since they first met, and is very much aware of it being a crush that just never leaves and his feelings grow stronger as they grow up. Meanwhile Hop also has a crush all along but is a bit oblivious about how to interpret his own feelings until along on the main story (Leon, meanwhile, guesses pretty easily that his little bro has a giant crush on that friend he keeps talking about all the time and lightly teases him for it, cue denial lol). So much potential for both fluff and a dash of angst... mmmm. By the post-credits story lines Hop definitely had that "Oh." moment and then is even more loud about his crush.

Based on me associating Victor with the fairy type, I have the silly little headcanon that at first he just thinks Bede is kinda funny, then it gets personal when Bede very largely contributes to Hop's mid-story crisis, and then Opal rejects him as a successor candidate only to later scout/adopt Bede in front of him. Cue him solo-ing battles against him with just his Corviknight (ok I admit this last part is also based on how it goes in my game lmao Bede is far too easy to beat... both as an opponent and if I team up with him)

Recently I've really been into the idea that Victor is asked to take over the Flying type Gym a couple of years after becoming Champion and then he's both Champion and also becomes strongest ranked Gym Leader (this is me guessing that since Gym Leaders can win the Championship, it's possible to be a parallel thing/Champions in general have a side thing they're doing rather than just being fulltime Champ, idk lol also, he totally beats Mustard's record for a reigning streak). His ace as a Gym Leader is Corviknight! (because what else would you expect from me, I adore Corviknight hahaha)

Now for "where's his family from" I am not sure if I have a "proper" headcanon yet. I've seen the headcanon that the protagonist's family is from Sinnoh and I like that hc, so I adopted that for the meet-cute drabble I wrote earlier this week but with a spin where I kinda combined it with some inspo from Elio|Selene (i.e. Dad's still working in Sinnoh/often away for work + combined with the headcanon I've seen for Elio|Selene's mom that she does have an Alolan background. unrelated sidenote, I'm really fond of the Alola protags' mom lol she's sweet). So basically like with all these other things I'm just having fun playing around with different possibilities at this point!

I'm also so very fond of flower boi Victor and it's one of my headcanons that he loves exploring and really loved the Crown Tundra adventures (and didn't mind that Sonia asked him to do all the work finding the Swords of Justice + was happy about the praise). He really enjoys tagging along with Hop and/or Sonia for fieldwork, and the two make it a habit to invite him along since they value his input and also want to make sure he gets breaks to destress from everything that comes along with being the reigning Champion, especially as the one who caught Eternatus + gained the title when he beat Leon. Especially Hop invites him along since that also doubles as more time together when they're both often busy with their career paths. Also on that note, Leon and Sonia being Victor and Hop's mentor figures just makes me so soft 🥺 the Leon being Victor's mentor doubly so with the headcanon that Leon is transmasc too (which unlike transmasc Victor I can't say is a "fixed" hc yet but I'm very fond of the idea)

(also, while I'm now all on the "Victor is a total career Champ/Gym Leader and thriving" train at this point, I still live for the type of angst where he gets a little bit of selfdoubt crisis — in the early years somewhat more subtle and like a case of stagefright like in my drabble "Believe", then a bit more into the future it's like "oh god what do I even do when I inevitably lose the Championship, can I even continue as a Gym Leader if I lose my title, this is kind of all I have going for me what do I do" but he gets through it since he has such a supportive network of loved ones and friends. Also another tangent here, I also love the idea of Victor as a (part-time) model so lol he definitely has a lot more than just a fulltime battle career)

He likes hanging out in Spikemuth with Marnie, Piers, and Team Yell, and especially Obstagoon and Toxtricity really have fun when they do. On a related note, I like the idea that Team Yell kind of become Victor stans too because Marnie thinks highly of him, so they cheer for him together with her (whenever she's not the one battling him in a match, obviously lol)

I've already rambled so much about various aspects I could think of ahaha so now since I've already talked about Hop + this is a trainshipping zone, I'll add some of my "core" headcanons for him!

is gay (or not clearly labeled but definitely likes boys. this is coming from someone who's very "???" about labels re: my own orientation but definitely is a boy-liker lol so please excuse the bit of vaguess here despite listing it in my core hcs hahaha)

chosen by Zamazenta (easy to guess when Vic is chosen by Zacian)

he's so supportive of Victor's transition, regardless of whether or not Leon is also trans, but it's a bonus when he already grew up with a trans big bro and then his best friend/crush is trans too and that's his two most favourite people in the world so of course he'll do anything to be supportive

fighting type association

he grows tall like Leon

He'd often ramble to Victor about what he's studying and Victor is always happy to listen and loves when he's so excited, so it basically turns into Victor helping him study. Also, they both make sure the other gets enough rest and destresses, already through their teens but especially when they're both grown up and Victor is still Champion (+ a Gym Leader) while Hop is now a fully fledged Professor. Even way into the future it remains a Thing that Hop excitedly rambles about his research or rants when he's stuck on something, and Victor is happy to listen and try to help him get unstuck (and Hop gives him a big smooch in thanks even if all Vic did was just listen and ask questions to hear more).

Most random thing but I so love the idea of either (or both) of them having freckles and same for glasses... bless all the fanarts with glasses for either of them. And while I also love fanart of Prof Hop wearing a more formal look, it's my wholehearted believe that he'll still wear the signature trackies look just with a labcoat now (and — you guessed it — Vic hogs his jackets. Nevermind that he has all the hoodies and fancy jackets and everything, the boyfriend jacket is so much comfier than anything else).

And I'm going to end this looooong ramble to mention that I've been developing fankids for them too! I already talked about them over on twitter and I'll probably talk about them here eventually too haha

Thank you so much for sending this ask, I was "!!!" when I saw it last night and couldn't help myself from rambling on forever lol. I kept the focus exclusively on Victor featuring Hop & them as a couple since they're my main focus so I have a lot more concrete thoughts about them than for any of the other characters (or ships bc I don't quite actively have side ships). But maybe I'll talk a little about others at another opportunity haha.

#frillishtxt #boyfrillish writing tag #hopvic #I still dunno how to tag headcanons/scenarios and stuff so my apologies to anyone who might look at my writing tag for my fics in one place #only to also find multiple more rambly posts like this without proper eloquence/isn't fanfic adgsddgsdg maybe another time I figure sth out #and filing under hopvic since there's ship headcanons here too bc them being in love & happy together is a very fixed core for me lolol #thank you so much again!! I really appreciate your comments and the asks you've sent so far. thank you for the opportunity to ramble lol #also thank you for dealing with the various sidenotes/tangents up there hahaha good old adhd/neurodivergent brain #and again hope you don't mind that there's a lot of ship headcanons here ^^" got way too excited and sat on this for like 2+ hours

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