#it's not willful ignorance it's just choosing to be optimistic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

willsimpforanyone · 10 months

Note

Hiii, I’m rather new to your page but I love your writing. I know you already have quite a lot of requests so feel free to ignore this one. If you choose to write it though, I’d be happy.

Connor Stoll x daughter of Dionysus!reader. Maybe like him comforting her after her dad gets recalled as camp director cause she’s super upset due to her dad being one of the main reasons she stayed at camp, and him just trying to make reader who he has a major crush on feel like she’s important and she matters? And maybe if it’s not too much of a bother he sings her the song Our Future Days (I believe it’s by Pearl Jam) because she loves music, and it actually makes her feel a lot better and she listens closely to the lyrics and they end up together?

Just like pure fluff, I feel like this would be really cute.

i might not do the song but i can definitely do connor comforting reader! it's a little bit angsty but then connor appears and its all okay

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I sniffed as I looked over at the porch in front of the Big House, still half-expecting Dionysus to be there, drinking some sugary crap out of a can. Of course, he wasn't there, hadn't been there for a week now.

Sighing, I continued walking, not particular destination in mind. It had been hard, my dad leaving. I didn't have another parent, or not one that wanted anything to do with me, so Dionysus was the only family I had outside of Pollux. And now he was gone.

It was hard not to feel abandoned, when I'd chosen to stay at camp for him. I loved my half brother, but we weren't that close, sticking together only so we could protect each other when needed. I was tired of crying, tired of missing my dad...

An arm slung itself over my shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

I looked up to see Connor, a bright smile on his face that dimmed slightly when his eyes found the tears that welled up in my eyes. I leaned into him, sighing and sniffling slightly.

"Y-yeah, yeah, I'm good, Con, thanks."

He used his arm around me to stop me, holding me back from continuing to walk away. "No, you're not." He frowned at me even as I plastered on my best fake smile. "Don't look at me like that, you can't fool me."

"Like what?" I said brightly, filling my voice with artificial sunshine. "I'm fine, I totally don't miss my dad and wish he were still here or feel completely alone in this camp, everything's good!" To my credit, Connor laughed a little at my overly optimistic tone.

He turned us so he was in front of me, hands on my shoulders. His head ducked down so we were eye to eye.

"You're not fine." He decided firmly. "C'mere."

In a moment, I was wrapped up in Connor's arms, head buried into his neck and arms around his waist with his arms around my shoulders. I felt my knees wobble and held on tighter, willing myself not to cry in front of the guy I was a little bit in love with.

I took in a shuddering breath, inhaling his scent and letting it relax me. I felt him mumble into my hair.

"You don't have to be okay, you don't have to pretend." One hand came up to cup the back of my head. "Not with me, okay?"

Pretending really hard I wasn't crying, I laughed wetly. "Not with you, huh?"

Connor pressed a kiss to my head, catching me by pleasant surprise. "Nah, never with me." He pulled back, hands slipping to hold my cheeks and grinning. "I can see right through that shit, okay?"

Nodding, I blushed red and grinned back. "Okay, then everything sucks, I'm lonely and I miss my dad. How's that?"

"Much better." Connor nodded in satisfaction, unconsciously stroking his thumb over my cheek. "Now I know what you need help with, see?"

Rolling my eyes, I kept my arms round his waist, unwilling to pull away. "And how are you gonna help, huh?"

He shrugged. "Don't know yet." Connor smiled softly at me, going bright red before kissing my forehead. "I just know that I want to."

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i hope you like it, thank you so much for waiting patiently!!

#connor stoll imagine #connor x reader #connor stoll #pjo

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detectivelokis · 1 year

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OC Tag Game

Tagged by: @socially-awkward-skeleton @marivenah @eclecticwildflowers @leviiackrman @emotionalcadaver @clonesupport @kyber-infinitygems @voidika @strangefable @madparadoxum @strafethesesinners

Tagging: @sstewyhosseini @jinfromyarikawa @river-ward @nightwingshero @direwombat @confidentandgood @nightbloodbix @poisonedtruth @ghastlyrider @risingsh0t @captastra @derelictheretic @gwynbleidd @aceghosts @cassietrn @trench-rot @josephslittledeputy @inafieldofdaisies @pheedraws @megraen @poetikat @swanfey @vampireninjabunnies-blog @bunfey @simply-jason @jacobsneed and anyone else who wants to tag me. I’m sure I forgot someone

Favorite OC

My baby girl. My muse. The ultimate inspo. When I first created Charlie I was not expecting her to have such an impact on my life, but I cannot imagine not writing for her now. I love how complicated she is. Cruel yet maternal, materialistic and vain yet loves her partners and few loved ones unconditionally, manipulative yet brutally honest about who she is. She’s just a fun character and I’m so proud of having created her.

Oldest OC

I haven’t really thought about Mathilda much in years, and I certainly have much older girlies from when I made OCs for Pirates of The Caribbean and Interview with The Vampire in middle school, but she was the first OC I created in years when I was hyperfixating on Vikings back in 2017. She’s a sweet girl, much different from a lot of my current ocs. She’s naive and innocent. An orphan who was raised in a convent. But, like a lot of my girls, she can’t help falling for a bad guy. One day I’ll get back to her/move her to a new fandom that’s more deserving of her.

Newest OC

My baby girl Mack is my newest girlie. She came about when I realized we were severely lacking in Claire ships and well, I needed to provide. She’s another sweet girl. A young politician’s daughter who is just trying to survive a world that she was never raised to be prepared for. I’m excited to start fleshing her out more and she’s been on the mind a lot these last few days.

Meanest OC

It was hard to choose between her and Charlie, but Dylan is cold as ice. She very rarely prioritizes the feelings of others and can be pretty harsh on them as well. One of the few people that she shows unconditional kindness and love to is her daughter, Rory. Besides that, everyone else is just another potential mark. Until she meets Zsasz that is 🙈

Softest OC

Gwen is my ultimate baby girl. She’s incredibly sensitive, optimistic, and views the world through rose-colored glasses. Very much a glass half full kinda girl. I mean, one of her main hobbies is writing love poems for her man. She’s a very rare type of character for me to write and I miss her everyday. Too bad the Arcane fandom is batshit.

Honorable Mention: Mackenzie Liu

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC

Again, it’s Dylan. Girl does not care to make friends or even acquaintances unless she’s absolutely forced to. Though there are a couple people who are able to win her over.

Smartest OC

Gwen’s favorite subjects in university were botany and philosophy. She’s a very brainy and kinda nerdy girl. That plus her innate sweetness is what makes her so perfect for Viktor.

Dumbest (Affectionate) OC

Of course it’s Charlie. And the funny thing is, she’s not even really that dumb. She’s actually fairly intelligent, but she has a talent for being able to completely ignore red flags despite actually being aware they exist. She’s also willing to shove common sense to the side when it comes to love or someone hurting her ego. When she actually does use her brain everyone is surprised by the shit she manages to accomplish.

OC I’d be Friends with IRL

Courtney! She’s the best of both worlds. She’s a tough, take no shit kinda girl, but she’s also very sweet and will have anyone’s back if they prove to be a decent person. She also has great taste in music and she’s insanely personable from being a popular bartender, so I think she would just be fun to hang out with.

#man so many girls I haven’t talked about in a while #it’s been the Charlie show for awhile here 🙃#oc: charlie berger #oc: mathilda #oc: mackenzie liu #oc: dylan leone #oc: gwen belmont #oc: courtney darling #tag games

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acti-veg · 9 months

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Meat eaters make me really sad :(

The way they can excuse needless slaughter just because it's "natural". (Despite all the other options that exist, despite the fact that humans, in large, don't NEED meat).

The way they refuse to take into consideration the feelings of anyone who's not a human.

I don't know. I want to believe that the world is fundamentally good, that there's no bad people only bad systems, but that's difficult when I see the level cruelty and violence that most people are willing to excuse and even promote. All because it tastes good to them.

I don't know how to reconcile my want to be optimistic with the grim reality that we live in.

(Sorry for dumping this into your inbox. I didn't know where else to put it. Feel free to ignore. Just know your posts bring me a lot of comfort)

I've said this before, but optimism is not the result of seeing a lot of good people in the world, it's choosing to see the good despite all the bad. I think that evil is widespread, normal and as Hannah Arendt called it, evil is banal.

Humans are capable of perpetrating or at least ignoring real evils, especially when they're within systems that encourage them to conform. We have seen this throughout history, the fact that almost everyone seems more or less fine with the enormous suffering inflicting on bilions of animals is thoroughly unsurprising when viewed in that context. It doesn't mean that humans are inherently evil, it just means that evil is often the norm, and people generally conform to norms.

Kee your eyes open to the grim reality we live in, but look for the good as well. It is terrible that society at large is okay with killing animals for profit, but it is also truly remarkable that so many people do reject this global system of speciesism and animal exploitation, despite the propoganda, despite the misinformation, despite the social, political and economic pressure to conform.

That millions of people all over the world, from different political, social, religious and economic backgrounds, actively choose to sacrifice things they enjoy despite knowing that life will be more difficult, that it'll be largely thankless, that they'll be mocked, shunned and excluded for doing so - I think that is a wonderful thing.

#ask #vegan #optimism

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thepenultimateword · 2 years

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I know you might continue it anyways but just in case, can you please write a part 6 for Sweet Dreams? I’m so invested in their story now and need to know what happens with their relationship! Thank you and I love all your stories by the way,

*Me writing this series:

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

Cw: blood, needles, medical supplies/procedures, violence,

“Uuugh,” Villain grimaced, peeking through their fingers at the dramatic blood splatter speckling the tv screen. “How about I choose the next movie?”

They both lounged comfortably against the headboard of the bed, barrier still set firmly and conveniently down the center. The hotel staff probably thought they were crazy for asking for so many extra pillows, but the results were worth it. It had definitely made these last few days inside the hotel room easier. Henchman was certain their pounding rabbit heart wouldn't have been able to handle being so continually close to Villain otherwise. Yes, it was just feathers stuffed in fabric, but the principle of it was much stronger.

“Are you queasy?” Henchman said in disbelief, offering the skittle bag over the barrier.

Villain took a generous handful, though still shielding their peripheral vision with one hand. “Slashers are not my film of choice. They’re so gory.”

Henchman held back a scoff and crossed their arms on top of the mountain of pillows to peer over at them. “Don’t you kill people, like, all the time?”

Villain's head remained fixed downward, but Henchman still picked up on the little furrow between their brows as their entire face scrunched up with distaste. “First off, ‘all the time’ is a massive exaggeration. Second, when I do kill people, I don’t leave a mess. It's very different."

They had already begun pushing all the grape skittles to one side of their hand, cutting a tiny gap between them and the other colors; once they were finished, they waved for Henchman to extend their hand to them, and poured the little pile of purple into their palm.

Henchman had only mentioned in passing that grape was their favorite, but now Villain made a point of picking them out for them every time.

"I like strawberry best anyway," they'd insisted when Henchman tried to protest. It still felt strange. Villain didn't need to share anything with them, and they'd certainly never seemed inclined to before, not unless it was to their benefit, at least. But by now, after so many snacks and movies, Henchman just accepted it.

“What sort of movies do you like?” Henchman asked, clutching the handful tight at their side and ignoring the sticky stains coloring the inside skin.

No hesitation: “Romantic comedies."

Henchman barked a laugh and then hastily covered their mouth with both hands.

"I-I'm sorry,” they mumbled through their fingers, “I just...wasn't expecting that."

Villain shrugged, completely unabashed. "They're simple. People meet, they fall in love, they fight, they get back together. You never have to worry about the conflicts getting too big because you know there's always a happy ending. I think there's enough stress and fear in life; it's nice to escape into something optimistic once in a while."

"That...makes sense," Henchman nodded slowly.

It still came off as a little surprising. They'd learned a lot more about Villain over these past two days, but the revelation that they didn't crave violence was definitely one of the most eye-opening. They knew it didn't change the fact that Villain was willing to resort to such tactics, or that they were very, very good at them, but it definitely soothed some of their more fearful apprehensions over them.

A sudden blood-curdling scream blasted from the tv speakers, sending an electric jolt through Henchman's body that made their arms flail out to either side. Their fist slammed into one of the barrier pillows, making a small chink in the top layer and ending with their hand on the other side.

Villain seized on the balled fist as if they'd been laying in wait all along for such an opportunity, spreading their fingers tightly over Henchman's knuckles.

"Wait," they said after a couple seconds. "Are you still holding the skittles I gave you?"

Henchman blushed, wriggling their hand free and popping the entire handful into their mouth at once. That could have been the end of it. They'd had a real excuse to come back to their side. They could have folded their hands under their arms, turned staunchly back toward the screen, and pretended it never happened. But no, they had to immediately offer their hand back, purple dye and all.

Henchman registered the sweaty stickiness probably a couple seconds after Villain did. They blushed even more furiously.

"I...uh..."

They tried to draw back, but at the same time, Villain clapped their hand down onto the grapey mess, twining their fingers together without hesitation. Their skin clung together like adhesive as soon as their palms touched, but Villain barely reacted beyond a sly smile.

Henchman forced their eyes straight ahead and tried to keep them there for the remainder of the movie but, they couldn't help but steal a few harmless glances. Not that it told them much. Villain was too hard to read, and honestly, they weren't really sure what they were even hoping for.

However, they did notice that Villain treated the rest of the movie much more calmly than they had everything previous.

***

It was that very observation that still had Henchman's thoughts captive hours later.

They glanced at the red numbers blaring off their alarm clock. 5:15 a.m. Usually, they’d be dead asleep by now, but the questions kept itching at them. Did they really have a power? And if so what was the extent of it? Apparently, they could soothe nightmares, some pain, and, maybe, fear. Though there was still always the chance that it was all a major coincidence. They really wished they could know for sure. They knew only vaguely how the test worked and even less about how detailed it was, but they had enough information to know it was fairly simple and very accessible.

Maybe…they should check it out.

If you go, and it turns out you don’t have a power, Villain won’t want you near them anymore.

Henchman wasn’t sure if that was a pro or a con. They really didn’t want Villain to get close to them simply to use them, but then again, the possibility of the criminal dropping them was terrifying.

You don’t have to tell them the results, their inner scoundrel convinced them. Not right away. In the meantime, you’ll have time to decide.

That plan seemed reasonable enough. Though for it to work, it required Villain not to know they were being tested. They were supposed to lay low--they'd been ordering food by delivery this whole time precisely for that reason-- so Henchman would have no excuse to leave later. Meaning they needed to go before Villain woke up.

They needed to go now.

Henchman let their hand go limp in Villain's grip and with a little light, back-and-forth shimmying, very carefully slipped free. They waited a moment to see if Villain would stir, but when they simply let out a long exhale and tossed the other way, they swung their legs over the mattress and rose slowly to their feet.

They didn’t bother with their hair or their face, simply changing out of their pajamas into jeans and a hoodie and grabbing their shoes by the heels as they padded toward the door. When they turned the handle, the hinges let out a long, high-pitched whine that made Henchman wince, but once again, Villain didn’t awake.

Henchman plopped down on the nasty hallway carpet to yank their shoes on, and about 15 minutes later they were outside a pharmacy, though it didn't open until 8. Hopefully, Villain would sleep in.

Henchman gathered their legs up against their chest and rested their forehead on their knees. They must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing they knew somebody was tapping them roughly on the shoulder.

"You can’t sleep here," a tall, bespectacled man with a pinched mouth said, looking down at them from over their glasses. "Please move elsewhere."

Henchman blinked several times, eventually registering the keys in his hands and the slight way he angled himself toward the pharmacy door.

All sleep suddenly fled from their eyes, and they leaped to their feet. "Wait, no, I was just waiting for you guys to open!"

The man winced a little at their too-loud voice before shooting them an odd look. "In any sort of emergency, you should visit a hospital."

They must have misread their desperation.

"I'm not sick, I um..." Suddenly it was hard to say aloud. "Do you do...power-ability tests here?"

A new wave of understanding washed over the man. That sort of thing wasn't life-threatening, but it definitely could feel like it to some people.

"Yes." The door let out a little chime as he pushed it open. "You can go take a seat by the back counter, and I'll be right there."

Henchman stepped hesitantly into the building's sticky warmth. The air conditioning must be out, or maybe it just hadn't been turned on yet, maybe that was where the pharmacy man was going first.

Sure enough, a little chair was pushed into a far corner near the back counter, the seat all maroon and cracked leather. It wasn't exactly comfortable to sit on, but at least it was a distraction from the unknown ahead of them.

A P-A test costs about $150 dollars," the man said as he approached, a little square box in hand. "Do you want to pay that up front or fill out your insurance information?"

"Uh, upfront," Henchman said, fishing the leftover cash from their last paycheck out of their jeans pocket. They separated a couple hundreds, knowing they probably looked crazy suspicious, but if the man was bothered, he didn't show it. He disappeared around the counter for several moments and returned with two twenties and a ten for change.

"Do you know how this works?" he asked, popping open the tabs of the little cardboard.

"N-no," Henchman said, staring intently as the pharmacist pulled out a little needle and stiff, translucent piece of paper. "I know it's something that can be tested in the blood, but...no, I don't know much else."

The man crouched down and began wiping their index finger with a cold alcohol wipe, every once in a while fixing them with that serious gaze that had been unsettling earlier, but now suddenly brought comfort. "Basically, I take a few drops of blood from your finger, and let it land on this card. The card then changes color depending on whether you are positive or negative for powers or abilities. Red for positive, blue for negative. However, I won't be able to tell you what ability you might have or what level it is, for that you'll have to go to one of the institutions; they're all over the place."

Henchman nodded. They didn't really care about that part, powers or not, they were sticking with Villain's team, supposedly there were counselors and trainers available.

"What's your favorite color?" the man asked suddenly.

"What does that have to do--"

A sharp prick stung their finger, and they nearly yanked back with a loud yelp.

"That's the hard part done," the man said, unfazed by the outburst, and drew their hand over the translucent card. Three drops hit the center in quick succession, each one rippling a strange shimmer across the entire square.

"H-how long does it take?" they asked.

The man rotated the card up and down in a circular motion. "A couple minutes or less. Ah, here we go."

The color struck all at once. One moment, Henchman could see straight through the card, the next it bled a deep crimson.

"Look at that," the man said. "Powered after all."

Henchman stared with their mouth half-gaped open. They weren't sure why they felt so shocked; they'd come here because of the possibility that they had powers. Perhaps it was because they'd gone so long in their life not knowing, not even suspecting. Or perhaps it was that deep down, they really had been expecting Villain to be wrong. Because how could something like this ever happen to someone as average as them.

"Th-thanks," they finally managed.

The man nodded, seeming sympathetic but also ready to continue with his day.

"D-do, I keep that?" They motioned to the card.

"If you like," the man said, handing it off to them.

They stared at it for several more seconds before sliding it into their pocket with the cash.

"Thanks," they repeated and numbly walked out the door.

Once outside, they walked a couple blocks before finally stopping to look at the card once again. This was real. Really real. They had a power. And they possibly already knew what it was. Should they start testing it out to find the limits? If the mentioned it to Villain, would they have to tell them about the test? Would they even be able to keep that to themself?

With a grimace, they realized they had no story in case Villain was awake when they came back and asked them where they had been. Maybe a quick trip to the bakery would be enough. They'd be upset, but no too upset with a cheese danish in hand.

They only got a block before they were suddenly slammed to the ground.

Their head smacked the earth with an explosion of ugly stars. They twisted blindly, feeling the scrape of gravel against their cheek and tangling into their hair. This wasn't the sidewalk, this was somewhere else. Their fingers scraped toe either side, tips touching the leg of something cool and metal on one side.

They pressed past the throbbing pain beneath their skull.

A...dumpster perhaps? An alley?

Abruptly, both hands were pinned against their sides, gruff hands gripping their wrists so tightly Henchman wouldn't be surprised if they bruised. Warm breath blew across their throat and then warm skin pressed into their hair. The person inhaled deeply through their nose.

A shiver ran down Henchman's spine.

"You smell like them," a raspy voice whispered. It was one part curiosity and two parts self-satisfaction.

Henchman blinked as hard as they could without making the ache in their temples worse, and as the bright spots in their vision dissolved, they made out a long, wind-tossed hair and a crooked nose. The hair was a deep chestnut and it tickled their face as the man leaned over them, a sadistic grin plastered from ear to ear.

"You dear thing, why don't you tell me where you came from?"

"Jer!" a woman's voice said, followed by the crunch of footsteps. "You can't take off like that! What are you--"

She cut off, taking in the scene in front of her. Henchman could hardly see her around "Jer's" head, but they did glimpse the toes of a pair of long mint boots.

"Who are they?" she asked.

"Our way to Villain."

Henchman had already begun to suspect, but that sentence dropped their heart into the pit of their stomach, churning it into heavy nausea. These were heroes.

"I smelt them from a mile away," Jer said, emphasizing his ability with another long sniff, this time in Henchman's neck. "The scent of Villain is all over them."

Some heroes had the power of enhanced senses, usually only one, though some ended up with a combo. This man seemed to have been gifted with an extremely sensitive nose.

The woman stepped up closer, cheeks puffy and ruddy from running, but eyes sharp and glittering as blades. "Where is Villain?" she said, smiling pleasantly even as every nerve in Henchman's body began to writhe in agony.

Henchman bit back the brunt of their scream, but it still escaped through clenched teeth loud enough to echo back to them off the building walls.

Completely unnecessarily, nose-man punched them in the ribs. "We asked you a question."

"I...don't know what you're talking about," Henchman gasped.

They couldn't break; they couldn't let them find out where Villain was.

"Your scent begs to differ."

Another punch to the exact same spot.

"I don't know!" they cried, almost a plead. "I've been all over the city! I could smell like anyone!"

"But you don't smell like anyone, " the woman said. "You smell like Villain."

By this point, their nerves felt stretched and stringy, maybe to the point of snapping.

"I don't know who that is," Henchman said. The ignorance card could probably only take them so far, but they needed to cling to it for as long as it worked.

"Come on," she said. "Just a few little words, and you'll be free to go. I'm feeling generous so I won't even report your involvement with Sun Agency's biggest thorn in the side.

"I don't know what you want!" Henchman begged, finding real tears streaming their cheeks. "I just want to go home! I want to go home."

The woman sighed. "They always choose the hard way."

Henchman wasn't sure how long they spent in that alley. They couldn't quite tell where the pain began or where it ended either. Every bit of them felt like one big wound, so excruciating, they could barely breathe. To their credit, they didn't give up Villain, but they thought about it with every blow.

It might have gone on like that forever if not for Hero.

The terrifying bag of muscle lumbered in and caught sight of Henchman's face, the bruises from the other day's run in a dull yellow across their nose, though it probably paled in comparison to the colors painting their face now.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he said, waving both heroes off of Henchman. "What is going on here?"

"They know Villain," Jer piped up defensively. "They smell just like that scent bottle you gave me to track them with."

Hero blinked a couple times then sighed heavily. "They smell of it because they ran into me the other day. I had it on me to give you and some of it got on my hands during packaging. I probably rubbed it all over them. That stuff is concentrated; it can last for days.

"Crap," the two minor heroes said in unison.

Jer looked over at Henchman with, not horror, but apprehension.

"What do we do?"

"There's nothing to do," Hero said. They paused, looking almost regretful. "Leave them. You can't get another strike on your record."

Jer nodded, and as Hero waved at them, the two heroes scampered off.

Hero crouched down by Civilian for all of three seconds. Their index finger traced a gash down their hairline, sending a crawling chill through their entire body.

"Sorry about this," they said, observing the blot of blood that now stained their skin and rubbing it between their thumb and index finger. And then they were gone too, leaving Henchman flat on their back, too injured to move and staring up toward the sky.

The building tops blurred together with the cerulean blue, twisting kaleidoscopic and sickening. They were so nauseated that eventually Henchman had to close their eyes to fight the acidic burn at the back of their throat.

Once closed, the dark took them quickly.

***

They awoke they didn't know how long later to soft fingers dragging gently through their hair and caressing their face with the delicate touch of butterfly wings.

Henchman suddenly became aware of the agony shooting up every muscle. They groaned pitifully.

"Hey, hey, hey. Dreamcatcher. Henchman. I'm taking you back. It's going to be ok, alright? You're safe now. I'll take care of you."

...

Yeaaah, this is one is definitely rough, another case of wanting to finish it even though I was super tired. I'll fix it up tomorrow.

Part 7

Master Taglist:

@moss-tombstone @crazytwentythrees @just-1-lonely-person @the-vagabond-nun @willow-trees-are-beautiful @cocoasprite @insanedreamer7905 @valiantlytransparentwhispers @whovian378 @watercolorfreckles @thebluepolarbear @yulanlavender @kitsunesakii @deflated-bouncingball @lem-hhn @office-plant-in-a-trenchcoat @last-ditch-entry @pigeonwhumps @demonictumble @ghostfacepepper @vuvulia @inkbirdie

#villain x villain #hero x villain #writing snippet #heroes and villains #villain #creative writing #heroes and villains community #fiction #hero #villain x hero #superheroes and villains #villain x henchman #one bed

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zenwhoberi · 1 month

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Rocket for the ask game, please!

1. favorite thing about them

how he genuinely is quite sensitive to the needs of his friends - he’s hell when dealing with strangers, and maybe isn’t the best at reading the room, but he DOES care. he’ll be kicking and screaming about it and denying it but if something is not right he’s not one to sit by and ignore the problem

2. least favorite thing about them

it probably ties into the first thing in that just cause he recognises a problem it doesn’t mean he knows the right way to go about fixing it. try telling him that though. i’ve noticed a lot over the years (and obviously different writers too so this is all subjective) that rocket’s version of arguing back tends to hinge on being louder than the other person and getting the last word. he needs to learn to shut the fuck up sometimes (affectionate). (wouldn’t be him if he wasn’t like this though! it shouldn’t change!)

that being said, kind of a tangent, I dislike it when some writers choose rocket arguing back as just him being an asshole. i haven’t played the telltale game in a long time, but i seem to remember their rocket falling into this trap. sometimes he would be contrary just cause…. the writers called for it i guess? so he came across as a dick for no reason. eidos rocket meanwhile was kind of a dick but always a dick who was trying to make a point and had legitimate quibbles. for his two page appearance in star-lord grounded rocket also blew up at peter - but had objectively good reasons to! and was willing to listen when pete met him on his level.

so long story short - he’ll snark back, might blow his top a bit but in his mind he always has his reasons and when you look at them they’re mostly legit from his perspective.

a lot of writers unfortunately just make him angry for no reason and it’s really, really, REALLY annoying /rantover

3. favorite line

rocket probably makes me laugh the most out of any character he has so many ridiculous lines there’s too many to count. “that’s how we do things in the raccooniverse”lmfao. that being said I’ve always liked the dialogue between him and Pete at the end of vol. 2. Rocket’s hardly an optimist but it kind of ties into my answer for 1. He knows Peter is beating himself up and when Peter tentatively reaches out, Rocket knows what he needs to hear. Hell, Rocket himself probably also needs to tell himself but they did good!

Peter: This guarding the galaxy thing sure comes at a price.

Rocket: You knew that when you put this team together, Pete.

Peter: Yeah… but Adam? Phyla? The cosmos will be a poorer place without them.

Rocket: What about Mantis? The Major? Gamora? God help me, even that damn dog. We thought they were dead. Life and death. The trick is to keep the books balanced.

4. brOTP

groot obviously. Pete.

5. OTP

none

6. nOTP

none

7. random headcanon

he and gamora are actually closer than you’d suspect - he quite often will help her deal with her implants if they’re becoming painful, or even take out ones she doesn’t need anymore. raccoons having weirdly small human hands comes in handy (ha!) for that. she’s surprised at first - he’s more capable of serious conversation than she initially thought - they have way more in common than both of them originally thought. he knows all too well how painful it is when your implants start bugging out, but he didn’t expect one of the most famous assassins in the universe, who should by all means have the best, to be almost as cobbled together as him.

it’s sad, though neither would admit that, but it makes the two of them feel less alone.

8. unpopular opinion

i feel like a lot of this is just wider MCU fandomy stuff that i’m not part of but, like i said, generally rocket ISN’T just an asshole for no reason.

9. song I associate with him

Mr Roboto by Styx

10. favorite picture of them

I wish i had a screencap of that selfie that he took of him and the team that’s in pete’s room in the eidos gotg game because it’s too cute. that one.

#rakruined #also omg hi!!!!!#thank you!!!!#gotg #rocket #ask

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softxsuki · 1 year

Note

Hey there! How are you doing lately, Han? I'd like to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day and place a letter request, please. <3

From: Kazutora (TokyoRev).

To: gn!Reader.

Petnames: none, please.

Relationship Status: not dating, yet. But the feelings are there and are mutual. Kazutora is realising his feelings and the reader isn't focusing on that, but they've had the biggest crush on him for the longest time and never got to confess.

Tone of the Letter: appreciation, gratefulness.

Genre: fluff, maybe some hurt/angst.

Location: idk how prisions work, but the letter is delivered from there to me.

Other Info/details: the letter is sent not so long after he went to jail (second time) and the reader never left his side and tried their best to stick by his side, even when he was trying to push them away. The reader is very comprehensive and optimistic, they’re also loyal and don't hide their feelings, but Kazutora is just very oblivious. The reader likes to give him gifts (anything the system allows Kazutora to have, the reader tries to get him).

I hope this is enough, thanks in advance, take care and stay safe and healthy! I love you and your works and blog!!

Kazutora’s Confession Letter To His Friend

Valentine’s Day Letter Event pt.2 Masterlist (CLOSED)

Pairing: Kazutora x Gn!Reader

Warnings: none

Genre: fluff?, slight angst, kinda friends to lovers

Post-Type: Letter

Word Count: 480

Summary: In which Kazutora sends you a letter from jail, confessing his feelings to you

[A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day! It was my first time writing for Kazutora so I hope he’s in character. Hope you enjoy 💗]

It was a normal day as you walked to collect the mail from your mailbox, something you did every morning.

But that was all about to change thanks to the letter you found addressed to you from Kazutora. He had been locked up not too long ago, accepting his charges and ready to pay for what he did, a heart full of regret. He had spent weeks trying to push you away, but you refused. He knew you liked him, but he’d always brush you away, saying you shouldn’t be with a criminal and that you deserve way more than that.

That was the last time you spoke to him, tired of having your heart broken, but still very much in love with him. Nothing would change that. So seeing a letter from him made time feel like it had stopped. You didn’t even go back into the house before shredding the envelope open and reading it’s contents;

Dear Y/N,

If everything goes as planned, then you’re reading this on Valentine’s Day…

I first want to apologize for pushing you away and treating you so coldly when you’ve stuck by my side through everything. I’ve received all your gifts and letters since the last time I saw you and I’ve come to a decision.

I’ll accept your feelings…because I also like you. I’ve always liked you actually, it was just hard having to accept them knowing what kind of person I am. I didn’t want to drag you through my mess, but I don’t want to hurt you.

It would be an honor to be your Valentine this Valentine’s Day. We can’t see each other due to the limited time I have to see visitors, but if you’re willing to wait for me, we can make it official as soon as I’m out of here.

I’m ready to change for the better, Y/N. I’ll become a man that you’ll be proud to have by your side. Just wait for me, please.

I love you,

Kazutora Hanemiya.xx

P.S: Thank you for not giving up on me. I’m blessed to have your affection.

“Well, it’s about time,” you mumble to yourself, choosing to ignore the flutter in your chest. You hadn’t planned on giving up on your feelings for him anyway.

“Of course I’ll wait for you…” you whisper to yourself, running back into the house to write your response to him.

You’d wait as long as you needed to for him. He was your past, present, and future. You couldn’t wait to make things official as soon as he was released.

You couldn’t help the smile that took over, excited for the years to come. For now though, you could settle on sending each other letters and gifts along with the rare visits you were allowed.

He was yours and you were his–at least that much was true now.

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Posted: 2/14/2023

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x reader #kazutora x reader #kazutora hanemiya

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crowmagus · 11 months

Text

RANGER, Chapter 13

Beginning | Previous | Next

Did she die again? Does it matter? Of course not. All that matters now are the forces animating her, driving her forward, her *animus* if you will.

Now before we switch from our narrative space to the view of the protagonist there is a problem we must address.

So far, we’ve had both Foggy and Aphid take control of the story - each in their own way with their own methods. But now that they are together, the question of control is muddied.

Foggy, on one hand, has a powerful - almost divine ignorance of the spider's web she is entrapped in. Or at most she is unaware that she herself is the Spider’s leg. Yet, she thrashes, desperate for control.

Aphid, on the other hand, is cursed with a preternatural awareness of his role, and is all too willing to cede the stage to another. The danger in this, which I do hope he understands, is that this increases his likelihood of being killed or worse in order to develop other characters in our little story.

There’s something tantalizing about both of them - about Foggy’s optimistic foolishness - and about Aphid’s reluctance to take the reins.

For the time being, let’s choose Foggy. After all, nothing makes a better scene transition than someone waking up.

And so, she did just that. She awoke at the fireside, the heifer who was slaughtered yet lived. Her senses returned to her slowly - starting with a deep aching pain from the hole which stretched from just below her sternum leading all the way through the back of her body. The pain developed slowly into an awareness of the rest of her body via the sweet alchemy of the nervous system.

Without moving, she examined her surroundings. She was outside, underneath an oak tree. Tall shoots of mustard grass surrounded the tree, creating a surreal circle of yellow locked in a vibrant conversation with the colors of the fire.

On the other side of the fire, partially obscured by the smoke and flame was the man from the billboard. He was staring at her, or something within her, or around her.

She sat up painfully, and spoke her first words. “I need to get to the Contrition’s Heart Memorial Ranch and Beefery, I think it’s somewhere nearby. How do I get there? What’s your name? Why did you shoot me? Why did you heal me?”

He remained still for 14 seconds, then moved over 2 feet so that the fire was no longer between them.

He spoke for the first time in longer than he cared to remember.

“The ranch is a three day journey northeast in the hidden valley. You will get there if I take you.

I am Aphid.

I thought you were a hostile entity.

I did not heal you.”

Foggy ran her hands over her chest and back, putting a finger through the bullet hole in her overalls. Sure enough, it continued through her still at both sides. It felt cold, like a thoroughly refrigerated steak.

There was a surprising lack of blood, and though she was no expert on human anatomy it was safe to say that an equivalent wound on a bull would have not been survivable - not to mention it would have fouled the meat. More questions stampeded into her head, threatening to overwhelm her. One by one she culled them, until the only one that mattered remained.

“Will you take me?” she asked.

He looked up at the ever-violet sky between the gaps in the oak leaves.

“Yes.”

#writeblr #writers on tumbr #horror #novel #alternate history #original character #world building #creative writing #ranger #writing #fiction #post apocalypse #short story #STALKER

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

Note

Can intuitives that are E6 be more optimistic and naive than other sixes? Being an N means that you have this sort of idealism in you, this hope for a better world or a better future, this optimism that things are going to be fine in the end. So, can an N who is also a 6 oscillate between this optimistic, idealized, naive way of thinking and a more down to Earth, overthinking, pessimistic view upon society and future in general?

Optimistic and idealistic, yes... but not necessarily naive. Naive means a lack of wisdom and that's more of an individual trait than a collective one for a particular type. Wisdom grows with experience for the person willing to learn from their mistakes. Intuitives can do this as 6s if they learn to think productively (what has this taught me, and what will it change for my behavior in the future); they are not doomed to forever be "had" because they are idealistic.

For me, being an intuitive 6w7 is like having a split personality. One of them is grumpy and fearful and suspicious and keeps people at an arm's length as specimens to view with skepticism and distrust; the other is a happy, cheerful "it will all turn out okay" person. But for me, I would say the balance is on realism more than fantastical thinking, because I do have Te in the mix. As an ENFP, I often hope for the best but reserve any kind of judgment out of a desire to "wait and see," unlike the judging 6s I have interacted with online and in person. I am comfortable with a certain amount of uncertainty and okay with allowing things to play out when I can't predict the end -- and unfortunately in some cases, being an intuitive, I am rather good at guessing where something is going (negatively). The struggle is between deciding if this is actual Intuition (an unemotional reading of the situation and predicting what will happen as a result of it) or fearful projection (6 coming up with worst-case scenarios). Which one it is often comes down to whether the facts fit my assumption or not.

For example, a friend's husband is in the hospital right now with a serious infection. Another 6 immediately leapt to the conclusion that he's going to die; I pointed out that he has survived against all odds before, there's no reason to think that THIS TIME his body is going to quit on him in his battle with cancer over the last six years. The facts support this conclusion and indeed, he has started to improve. But in the process of scanning him, they found a growth in his brain similar to the one that killed someone I know two months ago. And this is a case where I know he won't be here long. In the short term, he will be fine; but it's more than likely that he will fade in the next few months. Do I want to be optimistic about it? I do. I chose to be optimistic about his brief hospital stay because I felt supported in it by his survival against odds that would have killed someone else, thus far. But as a 6, I'm also rational and practical when I know what's coming.

As a 6w7, it's like I live my life as a fearful person who is staring into the darkness, but a large part of me wants to avoid those fears through ignoring them and choosing to see the bright side. I am never so 7ny that I am no longer a 6. I feel like a rubber ball bouncing between extremes. But I would say that all 6w7s are like this; you don't have to be an Intuitive to want a better future/life. It's just that intuition + 6 can cause you to worry about different things, and the temptation is always there to abstract away from a fearful situation and start speaking in generalized terms rather than specific ones.

I caught myself doing that this morning -- someone brought up a specific incident to me to talk about and my brain kept floating out and generalizing it as a way to tiptoe around it, cuz I don't exactly know what to say about it. What do I mean? Something like this: "My dog is dying." "Oh, it is so hard to lose a pet, they are so much a part of us, and yet we keep choosing the pain of loss for the temporary pleasure they bring us." It should be, "Oh, I am so sorry. I know how much Max means to you."

#question #enneagram #enneagram 6 #early morning rambles

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justafairytailofinnocence · 2 years

Note

Yoo! I saw some of your matchups and thought they were really cool! So I was wondering if I could get a Marvel, Peaky Blinder, and/or Hobbit/lotr matchup that would be great thanks!

Personality

Other’s views of me: Extroverted, Optimistic, Sarcastic, Hot-headed, Stubborn, Charismatic, Sensitive, Creative, Imaginative, Smart, Bold, Open-minded, Talkative, Annoying, Bubbly, Bossy, and Procrastinator, Arrogant, Selfish, Insensitive.

The way I view myself: I like to analyze things and people around me to get a better understanding of others and to see the bigger picture in an even bigger picture. I think, a lot. My mind is always active 25/8 and I get bored easily and annoyed. I don’t like routine or planning, unless if it’s for others then I’m more than willing to write up a ten-year detailed plan for them, but for me? I’ll plan ten years ahead with room for maximum opportunities. I can adapt to things easily as I don’t mind the thought of change. I value knowledge and the idea to learn more and causing me to become highly opinionated with certain controversial topics, though I may be hard-headed I don’t really have a set opinion as I like to argue both sides out. In literal terms, I don’t really argue that much, though that’s just me probably not knowing that. I just talk and people disagree and I talk again. I can be very argumentative when I talk or I can be wishy-washy and all philosophical. Again I don’t really stick to just an idea or opinion, I usually find myself nodding my head to both if not various sides. I can be self-absorbed and can definitely come off as a know-it-all. Though I promise you I actually don’t know anything. It’s all just basic bluff and questions. Also, I’m not a procrastinator I’m actually a multitasker who loses track of time focusing on one thing. I lose my time in researching or mentally experimenting with certain things I find fascinating usually at the moment though mind you, it can turn into an obsession and something that I’ve been at for many weeks, however, I easily end up getting bored so I never finish them. Why? Idk ask about the upcoming 3000 spurs of ideas that had appeared in my mind.

My Likes/Hobbies/Habbits: stimulating conversations, brainstorming, sharing my thoughts with others, mentally challenging myself, minimalism, maladaptive daydreaming, Eating, Sleeping, Talking, Dark humor, food, listening to any type of genre of music, researching/experimenting I find interesting atm, writing, journaling my thoughts, constant spur of ideas. My freedom of space. Geeky franchises are what I spend watching or researching in my free time. Talking about myself.

My Dislikes: You. Know. What. I don’t like many things but I don’t like people. Wow so edgy and quirky. No like as extroverted as I am, I simply end up losing interest in the conversation and I would like to be left alone with a group of people. I also hate ladybugs because they taste weird and centipedes provided no practical use to houses anyways. People who are ignorant and choose to be ignorant. Strict schedules are placed on me, when you know well as much as I do I value my freedom of space.

What I look for a partner: Personality wise, someone who can take time to understand me, who observes me not in a creepy way but just someone who’ll remember the small things about me. Someone who’s loyal and honest to a fault. They’re not afraid to speak and talk their mind and have theoretical or just deep conversations about anything so I guess when they’re just full of opinions, thoughts, and ideas. Appearance wise, I like men with long hair but it also really doesn’t matter, and I don’t mind a little stubble or some facial hair. Women? I just like women.

This was a lot and feel free to just tag me instead of posting this request 😭👍 thanks much

Hello dear 💖, thanks for your request.

For marvel I ship you with:

Bucky barnes 🦾

You were one of the scientists working at shield, partering with Bruce banner.

You were the type to know about the avengers, you were quite the fan.

You normally weren't one for parties.

You met bucky through the mission with Steve rogers.

You helped bucky regain his humanity.

Bucky slowly developed feelings for you.

He would be protective of you and quite quiet when it comes to other people.

He would love your sense of humour as long as it's not hydra.

Bucky would help you on your bad days and when he's having a episode.

Steve would be thankful you regained humanity again.

Bucky would totally have his first kiss with you in the hospital wing.

You would marry after infinity war and have a child who has your hair and eyes.

For peaky blinders I ship you with:

John shelby🚬

You met him through a party, you were a flapper.

You weren't like many other wemon, you didn't like going out to parties without your friends and you didn't like people.

You heard of the peaky blinders and one night you met him through a bar.

You were both slightly similar, he was attracted to your personality.

He would joke with you quite a lot and possibly Arthur would join in.

You would be kidnapped at times as the enemies expect Tommy.

You would be saved though.

Your first kiss was at a party after Tommy got married.

You married and lived in a country house, you had a child with your hair and his eyes.

For the hobbit/lotr I ship you with:

Legalos 🏹

He was an elf that was super sweet and kind.

You were a human he met when you were on the journey.

Legalos joined you but soon realised he developed feelings for you.

He would hide in the trees and take you to his castle.

He would walk through the forest with you and try to kiss you as well.

Legalos is protective of you.

Thranduil would think your a weird human.

He would question his son but accept you even if you weren't to his liking but he doesn't like most humans.

Legalos would stand up to his father and ask your hand in marriage.

You were the first human queen and he accepted, you had a wedding at his castle. Your child was half elf and half human with his hair and your eyes.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta ✨️

#marvel matchups #marvel matchups open #peaky blinders matchup #peaky blinders matchups open #lotr matchups #lotr matchups open #the hobbit matchup #the hobbit matchups open

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beatbawksradio · 1 month

Text

vent about optimism

something else I've been trying to learn is also to outwardly appreciate the good things in my life, rather than just blasting negativity out all the time. bc life is honestly pretty good right now, its calm, i have loving and supportive friends and an amazing partner, and my finances are pretty stable. i think i realized it goes back to that thing i vented about before, about my accomplishments being undermined, and feeling like i can't celebrate anything without it making someone else feel bad or envious or angry.

but, is that any healthy way to live? is that something i should let myself worry about? should i continue to care about the miserable people who look for reasons to be miserable and bring someone else down to make themselves feel better? should i let it affect my ability to be outwardly positive, to talk about my fortune and accomplishments, and to just generally spread optimism in my public online spaces?

bc whats the alternative? if i don't share positive things, then im only blasting social media with art and my silly thought vomit when i get into those moods. im just being Negative, and that's not the kind of person i want to be. but how easy is it to be positive, to share your happiness when you, as a good person who cares too much about the people around you (and NOT around you), cant help but remember how this positivity you shared before had such a deeply negative impact on the miserable you used to be surrounded by? when someone takes someone else's happiness and gets angry or envious over it, is that really your fault? is it healthy to let yourself give in to their will, and stifle your own happiness for the sake of making a miserable person, not happy, but just a little bit less miserable? ...how does that work when the only thing that makes them less miserable is the very opportunity of being able to knock you down and put themselves higher? should this behavior be encouraged? enabled? ignored but still fed into?

i dont have all the answers. im just one guy. but i know myself, most of all, and i know what it takes to be decent and live a happy life. part of that is learning how to accept people for who they are, and let go. i can give advice and show miserable people what it takes to be less miserable all day long, but its not gonna amount to anything if they're not willing to listen, not willing to learn, and most of all, not willing to be an active participant in that change. you can't change people. they can only change themselves. and if someone is perfectly content remaining a miserable pile of selfishness and envy that seeks to use you as their personal emotional punching bag, there's nothing i can do change that.

the only thing i can do, is figure out how I'm going to deal with it. how I'll respond to it. and i choose to not let it stop me from living my best life. i choose to continue being myself and being as positive and optimistic as I'm able to be, because i, personally, want my impact on this world to be as positive as i can muster. there will always be shadows and conflicts, and that's okay, and i don't need to let them rule me or my decision making. there's nothing wrong with me. there's nothing bad or cruel about being a positive minded person. my positivity doesn't torture others, the only ones torturing them are themselves

#vent #vibevibe #sessionvibe

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rsvppitkincounty · 8 months

Text

1 hour poem free style on a quarter of laced adderall I got for my 21st birthday from my sorority roommate and friend

I can only be as real as;

even on here

where no one really sees;

I can only be as real as I'm allowed to be.

Cause I hear your laughs

I feel the smirks and whispers and stones

I want to include stupid lines

but maybe you might not like it,

(might not) like me

after that

and you won't give me a chance

Certainly less than you gave me before.

So I guess I'm protecting myself from...

something stupid and arbitrary for sure,

but from something I don't "care" for I guess?

Cause if you don't like the line or

the quip my brain think fits right

then my poem and song is missing something

like the final harmony

of Who I Am.

And the thing is

I do care,

I'm an empath like that,

I want you to want me

im begging you to beg me.

Cause im not sure about my stupid lines

They're dumb and naive

and sound like a joke

that's not worth even care about.

cause its just there for laughs

and I didn't mean it.

But I mean it all,

even the things I don't know nothing about

I Mean It All

Unless I said it cause I couldn't stay quiet.

I need to say what I need to say.

You might not get it

but I want to ask you to try.

And even if you don't (get it)

or even try to

then I won't ask twice

cause I never do

but also because

that's all I need to know.

But also something light for quips

is still mine and

im still speaking so

it shouldn't be less valuable

to me.

Its hard when I can't hear your sighs ooo's and ahh's

or see your eyes shift away from mine

or hear your nervous laugh.

'that's way too much for such a commonplace joke' I think;

'Or maybe you find something within that funny' I ponder.

But I can't hear you over compensating in your language

When youre not here

And I can't feel you trying to touch me

or trying to get near.

I can't see how you go about it.

I can't hear what youre humble or boasting about.

I can't sense when you decide to let your ego drive.

I can't pick up on how much silence/pause there is.

In between words, or sentences, or ideas,

I can only sense my minds eye watching myself

and she's hardly right,

she's just a frail young earthworm on a leaf,

after all.

I want to enter any conversation asking if youre mad or still like me

I want to know what you think about it all and then about me,

take it from the top every time.

How you think

Why you think.

I want to know it all

maybe then

ill be able to predict what I don't know

or have never thought about.

I know only one perspective,

after all.

Maybe if I know your numbers and calculations,

your methods

I might know what you are willing to do,

and want to do

which is scarier

cause I've known bad men.

I see them everywhere

in you, and in me.

I see the ease with which greed

and iron fists are slung.

I know because I feel it within me too.

And I want to cry

cause I would use you like a rag doll

and call you pretty to your ugly face

and no one, especially you

would suspect me

you'd want it to be true

it could be if we were honest with each-other

you might sense, like me, that it's not right.

but you would dismiss it

like anxieties usually are;

ignored and disputed even though theyre right

cause how can you believe what you did not see,

or thought you saw, technically

You can't fully let that go

When your body convulses in warnings and fear

You can ignore it and 'be optimistic'

But you end up empty,

believing and wanting nothing

Don't let your therapist confidant tell you

what you believe is silly

before they understand you to your core and out

then once more

Cause theyre Professional and Qualified

and they Know More Than You

cause they Read Books

and Wrote tons of Essays

then got to fulfill their Purpose

of "Helping People"

Anyway

you would choose to trust me.

And I would use that

I would use you.

I could use you.

and you might not care, as you've told me before.

Even if I do with gentle hands and words

that trace slowly over you soft body

pausing when I want to stare.

You're not in my heart

the part with lock and key

stuck in a casing of a metal block

perfectly molded around every crevice

About 3 meters deep on each side.

I've just started to chip away.

I have a couple scratches so far, if you were curious.

My only tools your love

and my fake plastic nails.

Caring (about you) doesn't help with (your) feelings

cause you'll never feel like the porn star of classic literature

unless you

love me touch me right

so I can expand my love beyond the stars.

Cause I would give anything for you,

I would've left you alone with my body.

I might/could still do that

cause sometimes a touch is better than none

but in reality we know its not,

Cause caring doesn't help with feeling,

Cause how do you explain feeling empty and alone

when someones there as they scratch your back and say youre okay.

And even when you hear you're a good person

It still all falls flat

just like your face after I've left for real

I don't choose to believe that other people like me

because I know where my soul lingers

and only I know the disrespectful things I've thought about you.

I won't ask you to take care of me

cause I know you don't want to.

I would feel guilty.

I ask for too much and im never enough.

Thats the theme of my life, so far

And I know its true, cause lots of people live with sanity about the things that make me scream with pain at each fading thought

I used to want to be a rag doll for almost anyone

but the list gets narrower every time.

Then exponentially expands when I notice my problems

after opening my mouth or mind.

Anyone can open their mouth

and show me the evil man behind their curtain

playing with MY rag doll.

You selfish cunt,

it was mine, it is mine, it will always have to be mine!

but now after your disgusting hands

were given a chance to play

I am forced to have to feel them

at night when youre no where near anymore.

I'm glad filed your nails for me

and that you don't cary moldy dirt under your them.

but youre not much better than

The evil man being the curtain.

And I thought you were just a boy

who wanted to play.

With my rag doll out of love (and respect)

of the human marvel of commotion and,

sparkle within every particle.

I thought you knew my rag doll was new and

you saw the purity as a gift I've kept out of fear.

Fear of not being loved

or loved enough to be cared out

or loved enough to be respected

or loved enough to be listened to.

Fear of not being loved enough to be seen as

myself and how unique I am as myself.

I thought sex meant something to you,

besides being able to know

or tell others, if youre doomed

that my rag doll was in your hands once.

cause that doesn't mean shit you know.

My rag doll was never your

even when you held it.

My rag doll is mine and

you'll never get another chance to feel it

so you hold on to those metaphysical

pictures tingling sensations down your spine

that is a memory

and you'll never be satisfied.

I will never see you

as something other than an evil man

with his 2 inch dick in his hand.

and a puppet falling off the strings

just like your balls

which make your dick look

less emasculated,

and non photogenic.

Your rotting muscles,

like mine.

I will never stay in that mindset

that men flaunt.

Cause I'm my own human and

I want be seen

as I hold the rag doll.

You can decide whether or not

you ever want to be loved like that.

Sex and love are not separable,

no matter which whore you fuck

Then may peace be with you as you experience

eternal unhappiness, suffering, and unsatisfaction,

and complete total hell from my crystal ball.

But I'm not choosing to let my rag doll

be smacked around

and beaten over the head by an evil man.

If I can help it that is,

may those woman and their rag dolls be afforded that only greater than heaven forever more.

Woman are men by the way,

but as they've grown and stand now

we need to take accountability for the men they foster.

at the very least in this poem, in my words.

And even if I never know you felt that way,

I can extrapolate data

and build a shitty narrative

however I please

because you haven't shown me otherwise.

and youre too shy to tell me anything other than

how my beauty looks to you

and makes you feel (just that once).

So if you can't show or tell,

and want me to know how you feel

Ill have to refuse because that evil man in the mirror

Im not going to trust you

based on deep longing looks alone.

Cause everything is behind deep dark eyes

the whole fucking world

And I want to be in the world

not just watching and wishing,

I could be a part of your world.

One which you can keep secret from me

but one which I'm forced to divulge

cause I have no choice but to.

Im a person who can't be nonchalant

and keep my heart at bay

with my legs spread apart,

or when you ask me about my poetry.

I shouldn't expect people to be nice,

or care about me.

Especially the sore parts.

I learn that more everyday.

Yet more everyday

it feels like im expected

to return the favor

that got lost in the mail for me.

I know now to expect them to honor dignity

at the very least,

know some part of her, at the very least.

or whatever version it is you showed me

on wednesday.

Im not sure yet.

It was more than im used to that's for sure, so thx ig.

So look into my eyes you sweet naive human

we can both learn and grow

if you show me and tell me

about what the evil man tells you

and why you shot him out back.

cause if they choose to let him loose

or if they choose to hide him

behind the curtain

and then he peaks out into the crowd

AT MY RAGDOLL

I'll wish you fucking dead

they could've kept him chained with fear

at the very fucking least

but they chose to use it

against me

put on a fucking show in my fucking face

and then

ask me to forgive them?

or even worse

to accept what I didn't ask for.

to accept what I didn't know I was asking for

just cause I lacked enough care growing up

to be asked or even told.

I can stare at a rock

and smile at their crevices.

but if you knew how little I thought of you,

you'd be very upset with me

I don't need Love to have sex

Ive never had sex and I can't see love around and about me.

but I need, feel, and see love everywhere still.

so I guess I would have sex with a rock.

And ill continue to be easy

cause that's what I am .

My legs stay open and my heart stays closed

trying to squeeze

through the block of metal

which has no bars, yet

But you'll never feel what satisfaction is

when you act like that with me.

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tellingittash · 1 year

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Hey everyone! Psalm 18:2 is a verse of the day that’s been on my mind for a week. I love verses that have some sort of practical wisdom or moral philosophy or are particularly interesting in a scholarly way, whether it be for religious studies or English, but this verse is a declaration by the writer that God is what saves them. Pretty simple and straightforward, yet I’ve been mulling this verse over, reading it every day and I think I realize why it is in my head. Yesterday I was introduced to a quote by Antonio Gramsci, an Italian antifascist who defied the regime of Benito Mussolini. He, like the Psalmist of Psalm 18, knew what it was like to be persecuted by a tyrant, as Psalm 18 is said to be written by David after he was delivered by God from King Saul and his regime. With everything that had been happening to Gramsci, who stood up against evil and the powers of corrupt men, had this to say while he was living in prison: “I'm a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will.” And I liked the quote. Saved it. Thought about it because I felt like I related quite a lot. And then today it clicked for me. The reason that this verse and that quote stood out to me are the same. Both first point to a reality: this world is awful. This world is filled with suffering and oppression and persecution and evil. Only an uninformed person, shielded by ignorance of life, would think differently. The more you learn about what is happening in the world, past, present, and future, the more hopeless everything seems. The Powers at Be are coming down upon me and desire to snuff out the truth and the best way forward. And they might be successful at it. But there’s more to life than just that. Hope. There is reason to hope. Hope is alive and I will cling to it. I will not allow the enemy to win just because they seem likely to. So I want to emulate this verse more and more in my life. I want to choose a hope that can transform everything for the better and outlast the evils I see, or at least set up the way for a better future for those who come after me. I believe that I can be delivered, and I’m willing to walk the walk that helps get me there. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn0ofKnMTL4/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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vicxy · 3 years

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Pick a Card reading: Choose a Tomie Kawakami.

Hello everybody! This is my very first PAC to make up for how I couldn’t release the MC game today. I hope this doesn’t flop because it’s my first time but please give me feedback on whether it resonated! The topic is: what do you need to hear right now? / your past, present, and future. There will be three piles, 1-3 from top to bottom. (Sorry I can’t figure out how to put them side by side)

Choose the pile(s) you feel most drawn to. Happy reading, good day!

☾ Pile 1

Some of you could be very carefree and playful, especially as children. 6, or 222 might be important numbers for you. Some water and fixed energy here, Scorpio, Leo, Sun dominants. Even if you weren't innocent or playful when you were young, there is quite an air of youthfulness to people here. Some of you are quite idealistic. I'm also seeing cancer moon, cancer placements. Some of you are quite dedicated and hardworking people. Taurus placements too. I feel like in the past, you could have been somebody who is trustworthy and has strong morals and integrity, and I really admire you for that. These qualities will help you in life, so keep it up! Right now, several areas of your life could be coming to an end, and some of you might feel like entering a new stage in your life. You might not like the new changes that are coming, but in the future, you will look back and appreciate it. Some of you might have gone through a betrayal recently, I sense some friendship problems. Please stay optimistic, I see opportunities for this pile to be meeting new people, perhaps even making new connections and friends. Once some of you have accepted the fact that changes are coming, you will continue growing and thriving. To those who have been putting in effort or taking the initiative, you will reap what you sow. The word "strict" popped into my head, that could mean something for some of you. Some advice for you now are: Some of you might be in an argument with somebody, or somebody has triggered you. This is a sign not to let it slide- think deeper; is there anything that needs to be healed here? Or, what do you want others to see? For some of you, there might be something you are called to do or pulled towards. Trust the feeling, let loose, and have some fun. For some others, you might be ignoring a niggling feeling that something is wrong. This could snowball into a big problem, so please watch out.

☾ Pile 2

Neptune, Pisces placements or dominants here. Some of you could be very indecisive or were indecisive. Aries energy, maybe venus or moon. Some people here should be more open minded; or else they could be missing precious opportunities being presented to them. Some moon energy here, Sagittarius suns maybe? Some of you can be optimistic and hopeful people, you have won many battles in life. Maybe some of you have 1H or prominent Pluto. For those of you who are mistrustful of others, there might be someone coming in that might change your view on life soon. I see water, waves, maybe some of you like water / beaches or have been somewhere near there before. Some people here could have a maternal figure who played quite a huge role in their lives. Perhaps you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or at the very least in a financially stable family. Either way, you didn't really have to worry about money. Some of you could also be nurtured well in your childhood. Some of you might have Libra in your 11h, or have many friends and connections. You are kind and compassionate as well. Some of you could be dealing with an air sign or are an air sign, especially Aquarius. Some of you might feel trapped or cornered, in a seemingly inescapable situation. Don't fret, this situation might be overcome soon. Someone might come to help you or unexpected things could happen. In the future, you might get a sudden inheritance or windfall, but I also see a failed relationship. There could also be a situation where you have to take sides; remain neutral until you have clearer information. Additional advice: Some of you could be on the verge of a spiritual awakening or have gone through on already. If some of you get new opportunities, accepting them might reap good rewards. To those who are in touch with their spirit guides, they want you to know that they are always ready and willing to help you. They might send you signs or you could see some signs, pay very close attention to what the universe is trying to tell you. Some of you can be dealing with toxic people, especially energy vampires. These people are not worth your time and you should cut them off. They are dimming your light. Lastly, a few of you should try expressing yourself more, do something you like. Maybe through writing, singing, art. There could also be a situation making you uncomfortable, speak up about it. I saw some green and Chanel for this pile, if that's any indicator.

☾ Pile 3

More Leo / Fire energy here. Some of you could be really jovial people :) Libra moon or mercury, and air placements here. Jupiter dominants. Some of you are calm, but passive and non confrontational. Fair too. 4 or 19 could be important numbers for you. I see blue as well. Aries, Virgo, Venus and Mercury energy here. In the past, some of you might have gone through many hardships to get to where you are today. Most of you could be well to do or born into a good family. The good thing is, you don't boast or be arrogant about it, and I like that humble attitude. Some Cancer here. Some of you could have a strong female figure come into your life soon, they would likely influence you in a lot of ways. I just know some of you are in denial about something, face it or else it'll come back to bite you in the ass. This could be about love as well, some of you are catching feelings. Take a break and get in touch with your intuition and feelings, don't be rash. Uranus dominance for some of you? New adventures and opportunities are coming along, good luck with that! Take the initiative, and don't let your fears get you down! For others there could be a major event happening in your life soon. Additional advice: Some of you might have to face something or do something that requires your courage and bravery. You should look at your fears in a better light and let it point you in a direction you should go. This pile is quite unsure as well. Some of you don't feel ready to do something; go for it! It could potentially break an unhealthy cycle in your life. Others could be meeting a new person who will become very dear to you, (be it in a romantic or platonic way.) Be yourself and they will find you. Lastly, some of you should let your friends support you instead of shouldering everything yourself. This could also mean you need to expand your friend circle.

aight I'm finally done, I have a feeling this is very messy and I'm getting cold feet so I'm gonna hide in a corner while you guys read this :')

I do accept constructive criticism and feedback so send it in if you would like. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I did my best and I hope it's up to everyone's standards. :)

#astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #tarotblr #pick a card #pick a pile #tarotcommunity #astro observations #thank you #astrology notes

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