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#it's my sleep deprived self
o-sahiba · 1 year
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TW
Hassi mazaak main bol dete hain ki 'maar do koi' but damn, iss zindagi ke badle koi jannat bhi de toh vo bhi manzoor nhi hai. Marne se darr nhi lagta hai pta hai, but uske baad? Sab khatm? Papa ka vo insulting se lagne vale nickname se bulaana, mumma ka 'khana kha le' baar baar bol ke irritate krna, bhai ka hr chotti baat pe gussa dilana, family ka ehsaas, sab khatm? Meri chodo, maine toh chale hi jana hai, but fir baaki sab ka kya? Papa kise roz subha jldi uthne ke liye bola karenge? Mummy kiske room main jakar bina maange fruits ki plate rakh ke jayengi? Bhai bhehn kise tanng krenge? Unke liye to jeena marna ek jaisa ho jayega na?
"Koi pyaar ni krta. Kisi ko farak ni padhta"...Sure. Magar kabhi waqt mile toh uss family se milke ana jinhone kisi apne ko boht kamm age main khoya hai. Kamm age kya, kisi bhi age main khoya hai agar. Unka ek zikr unke maa baap ki aankhien namm kr deta hai.
Nhi yakeen? Toh tum btao. Kya tum apne maa baap bhai behen ya kisi bhi family ya friend ko aise hamesha ke liye kho sakte ho? Soch sakte ho unhe hamesha k liye khokar unke bina jeena? Seh paoge vo dard? Soch kr hi gala bhar aya na? Magar, kya tumne kabhi unhe bataya hai ki tum unse kitna pyaar krte ho? Ki unki fikr karte ho? Ya fir ye ki reh ni sakte unke bine? Bataya hai kabhi? Nhi na.
Toh fir kyu lagta hai ki tum akele ho? Ki tumse koi pyaar ni krta? Ki tumhare hone na hone se kisi ko farak ni padhta?
Nhi ho akele. Haan, sab nhi lekin boht se log pyaar krte hain tumse, parwaah krte hai tumhaari. Tumhare hone ya na hone se boht se logon ko farak padhta hai. Sachii. Bss masla itna sa hai ki kisi ko kehna nhi ata bilkul vaise hi jaise tum keh nhi pate ho kisi se ki vo kitne important hain tumhari zindagi main. Toh kya tum galat ho ki kabhi tumne aisa kaha ni unse? Agar nhi, toh fir vo sab galat kyu? Think about it.
And haan, muskura liya kro, ache lagte ho.
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mblue-art · 3 months
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once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)
#self insert#cross!sans#epic!sans#mblue art#cm#m rambles#(that tag is needed bc hoo boy u can tell i did not get sleep and is fueled by caffeine)#(do not be like me!!!!!!!!! do not deprive urself of sleep 💀💀💀)#(get a good 6-7hrs a day if u can. if 4-5hr works better for u then im not forcing u to sleep more 😤😤😤 as long as u rest well 😁👍)#(AND HYDRATE... if ur reading this try to take a sip rn 🥤)#campus au#(college au scenarios will be tagged that heehoo)#not colored just lines bby 😎😎😎#idiots to lovers type shit where they both confide in epic n he's just chillin#waiting for the time when these dummies will finally confess to eachother themselves#(look i think it's rlly funny seeing cross be all cool calm collected in public but when he talks to epic abt his crush)#(he goes insane with a million different flustered/blushing emojis)#( 'they told me good luck on my test and gave me the nicest smile ever how was i gonna live after that' goofy ass. idiot /aff)#( 'DUDE THEY GAVE ME A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE. IN /PINK/ PAPER. ON CHOCOLATE. DOES THIS...... 😳' guys i love silly dorky cross to bits so much)#(man fucking explodes w his simping n epic just goes LMAO but he's v supportive for his bruh 💪😤)#(on the other hand my sona thinks he's sooo cool and awesome and smart and honestly fucking charming HHELLO THE TIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS AND)#(AND SMILES HELLOOO MR HANDSOME I MEAN WHATT)#( 'stars if he likes me back i wouldn't know what to do with myself. fucking EXPLODE? YIPPEE CONFETTI??' lots of flushge )#(going ueueue at big bro epic bc they got a super massive crush on his bestie but)#(but the head is entertaining 'what-if's BUT i think kuya epic knows how to steer the thoughts away from those and smack em w teasing 😎✨)#(ultimately distracting and successfully reassuring them 😎😎😎)#(tsundere mblue no way not in here im down bad astronomically full on simping my guys)#(he might be a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass) (ok i'll shut up now fr)#anywayz campus au is the my highschool au but we're all adults and more tired yippeee
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pinky-in-blankets · 1 month
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《 Hear me out.
Just.. Your F/o is just your unwitting pillow because I said so. Like they could be doing literally anything- working, Sleeping, Eating, Etc.
And you just.
FLOP! Your my pillow now. Whatever you were doing before idc because your comfy and I'm eepy.
.... *Snore..* 》
----
Proship/comship DNI
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obsmiechujek · 12 days
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Edelgard is Fodlan's sleepiest princess
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f1version · 7 months
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“i stopped thinking a long time ago” what driving for ferrari does to a man
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milosaweirdguy · 10 months
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whump-queen · 1 year
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…sleep deprivation
tw sleep deprivation, self harm, general misery, death mention
give me a whumpee so sleep deprived that their entire body hurts— they feel the ache in their bones, every muscle weeping for a break.
whumpee pinching their skin to keep themselves awake, twisting until it burns, digging their fingernails in until they feel warm blood seep out, dragging and ripping until it’s caked under their fingernails.
they can’t let themselves sit down—they know they’d just collapse. but they’re swaying on their feet, staggering a little. they feel their legs shaking in protest with every excruciating step.
give me the brain fog, the confusion, the slurred words and jumbled sentences— the inability to keep more than a single thought in their head at once.
let the dull pain of thinking too hard wear them down.
let them run on empty fumes until they’re forgetting things as soon as they occur.
until all they can think is how tired they are— the exhaustion pressing in around their brain like a thick syrup, sticky and sinking in around them until theyre suffocating, breathing in poison.
so exhausted that they blink and realize they’re crying.
feeling like a dead man, for all intents and purposes, were it not for the way they’re still barely standing, muscles quivering with each labored step.
they know they’re bad for thinking it but—
at least the dead get to rest.
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skylasepitome · 8 months
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my only escape is sleeping.
yet i can’t even do that anymore.
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strayrainbow · 7 months
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For the DTIYS by @ladylunora !!!
It was really fun, Thank you for the challenge!
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numetalkids · 2 days
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suguru headcanons
- wants to be special sooo bad (hence his distinguished style) (+gojo says he likes to show off)
- has a massive ego but presents himself as the humble guy
- loves satoru because they genuinely get along but also because he's just a fan
- mocks satoru for his inexperience with alcohol and such so he can feel superior for once
- he secretly wants satoru to know how he feels. hopes that he can just sense it or smth
- flexes his biceps in front of satoru as much as the school uniform allows
- has a massive inferiority complex when it comes to satoru
- got satoru drunk once to confess and/or flirt shamelessly
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ayrennaranaaldmeri · 10 months
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🤔
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incarnadinedreams · 9 months
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I frequently see people saying that the list of traits Jiang Cheng gave to the matchmaker are "impossible standards", ridiculous, unreasonable, outlandish, absurd, nobody could ever possibly meet them, etc.
Anyway the translation that's up on the wiki is:
His requirements in his partner are: naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, hard-working and thrifty, coming from a respected family, cultivation level not too high, personality not too strong, not too talkative, voice not too loud and must treat Jin Ling nicely.
First off, the list comes from a random trivia answer MXTX gave in an interview, not the novel canon. So whether you even consider it canon at all is up for grabs to begin with. Though I think there was a scene in CQL with a similar list so it would be canon there, minus the Jin Ling point (due to the point in the story the scene was set)? (So I believe the matchmaker blacklisting point still wouldn't be CQL canon though, just the list?)
But if you do take it all as a Super Serious Canon Thing, well... to be honest I just don't think that list is at all unusual, given the setting? I believe many of the points in the list are just traits considered generally good for ladies of the time period (intentionally vague as that time period may be). (I am absolutely not an expert though so please correct me if I'm wrong about that.)
To me it seems that it's not that they're unusually high or unattainable standards, they're just so generic that they're sort of unhelpful. That he has like no idea what he wants at all outside what he's supposed to want.
The only points that actually seem to have any specificity are things like cultivation level not too high. Which some people could interpret negatively, and fair enough. But personally to me that seemed more like a flashing neon sign of 'please someone not like my mother', given her strength in cultivation was one of her defining traits (and something that he may have felt led to her disappointment in him). Even though Jiang Cheng may carry forward some of her traits himself (for better and for worse; this is not a YZY hate zone but there's... a lot there), he does seem to have at least given some thought to choosing a partner to counter some of the pain points of his own childhood and aim for something different (and we see him trying to do that himself in specific ways as well, like his staunch support of Jin Ling when he was crying after the Second Siege, even if he doesn't always fully succeed).
And, of course, 'must treat Jin Ling nicely'. Which seems obvious and not like a big deal at first, but I think actually could reasonably be a big sticking point in a potential marriage. My understanding is that he was wildly more involved in Jin Ling's life than a maternal uncle would normally be. Including this as a specific requirement seems to send a particular type of statement, as if it was important to him that any potential match would not take offense to him treating an orphaned child that wasn't his with a lot of attention and gifts and favor... hmmm, how could he have possibly decided that could be a problem in a marriage...?
(Obviously, the scenario would be very different than his parents' - none of the salacious rumors and the humiliation that came with them that really drove a deeper wedge between YZY and JFM - but he was obviously going to be doing a lot more for Jin Ling than an average uncle so it makes sense to have that be a specific point upfront.)
I'm ultimately in the 'it was MXTX making a joke and not meant to be taken nearly this seriously' with a side of 'the clan leaders of this generation aren't in a hurry to get married because MXTX just didn't feel like writing their wives in and also it was funny' camp so I think there's a limit to how much insight can be gleaned from this, you know? It is fun to play with it in-universe and explore the implications on the society and political system going forward in the decades post-canon, but I do try to keep myself from taking it too seriously when it's clearly not a well-thought-out plot point or anything, just a fun offhand jokey trivia bit.
But I like the vibes of it all well enough to accept it as 'semi-canon' or 'canon enough' for myself anyway because I think the 'must treat Jin Ling nicely' point is cute and the rest is just standard for the setting and the blacklisted by matchmakers part is funny, and I'm much more willing to subsume random bits from interviews into my brain's blorbo blob if it's something funny.
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mblue-art · 6 months
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hhappy pocky day 11/11!! here's some self-indulgence ft oreo man///
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whosname · 1 day
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Reference
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Shatterbird is a monster who delights in being feared and massacring cities, but she's also a poor little meow meow who I love dearly. Like her backstory is so damn sad, she got dosed with a Cauldron vial against her will, and in her pain from getting powers she Screamed, exploding and shattering all the glass and sand in the United Arab Emirates. Y'know, the place thats 80% desert.
So she probably killed hundreds of thousands of people in a situation entirely out of her control, and I highly doubt she got forgiven for it in the slightest or that she was given any sort of understanding. She was almost certainly being hunted down and portrayed as a monster to the media, a ruthless killer who had no remorse over destroying a country, and who would hear her out? Who would consider that she never wanted this or that she could be redeemed? She was entirely on her own from the moment she got her powers, and she went to London most likely to hide, only to have to lash out again when she was found and cause another disaster, so she fled again to the USA, only to get recruited by the Slaughterhouse 9 because she can't catch a break. Do you think she had already begun to slip and become the monster she was painted as by that point? Did anyone reach out and give her human connection? Or was she alone and isolated and feared, with some serial killer nominating her to join their gang because they think she's a monster like them and she can't exactly say no. And at the end of it all, when she got through all the tests and had her morals slowly drip away, she had to personally murder the other surviving candidate to survive and join the S9. I know this is like 80% guesswork already but I like to imagine that maybe the other candidate was her only companion and friend, even if it isn't though it's still a lovely showing of how she's finally become the monster she's believed to be, finally a murderer by choice.
Shatterbird at the time we see her is a monster, one of the most despicable and terrifying characters in the text, and I just love the implication that she was innocent at first. Her only choices after getting her powers were to keep getting worse or die, and she chose the only option she could.
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summertimemusician · 8 months
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Linktober Shadow, Day 1
Gibdo
Linked Universe Time x Reader
(Can be seen as both Romantic and Platonic)
TW: Graphic Descriptions of Gore and Rot, as well as nightmares, and a bit of Whump(?) please do not read if you're highly squeamish, even if it's not long just to be safe. As this deals with dark times as is usual to Majora's Mask, may also be read outside of a Linked Universe context.
*walks on in to Dark Linktober and Linktober both with sleep deprivation, coffee and kind of late, drops this, refuses to elaborate* Kind of self indulgent but I hope whoever finds this enjoys, it's spooky season and I am taking full opportunity to go ham XD
The beast a few feet away of you was foul, with it's thin, leathery flesh barely clinging to it's bone hollow cheeks, the sickly sweet scent of rot and decay mixing with that of old, burnt flesh, barely hidden by once white, now sullied and dirty cloth in a failed attempt at appearing harmless as it slowly decayed, it's sallow, sunken yellow eyes scan the abandoned graveyard and you stay very, very still where you've sank behind the side of the Music Box House, heart like a deer's facing down a Lynel as you heard it's long, unnatural fingers drag across the stone, the click, click, click of it's nails against stone and it's tortured moans in it's everlasting, tormented hunt sending chills down your spine.
It is nowhere near the dawn of a new day and sunlight barely reached Ikana Canyon, and you had no desire to become one of the many ivory and yellowed bones of the dead in this wretched, horrible place of tragedy.
You trade a look with Link from across your hiding place, eyes stopping on his arm before forcing yourself to snap to his sapphire and iron gilded gaze again, he had to get to Pamela's Father, but this run had unexpectedly gone south from you both getting attacked midway to the canyon and him hurting his sword arm attempting to sneak past the Gibdo's. The strangled, bitten off scream that left his throat as one of the beast sank it's rotten, cracks teeth into his flesh hard enough to almost crack bone so very horrific you didn't think twice before shooting it with a flame blessed arrow and dragging him away, teeth bared in defiance, but it's disguise of sickly and wounded falling away with it's pained, furious howl to reveal a Redead had attracted more of them to your location with it's inhuman, obsidian and blood rust coated fury of necromancy cursed beasts, forcing you both to hide as you didn't have anymore fairies and potions from slaying the third of Majora's twisted, reality poisoning generals.
This was meant to be a scouting quest before a reset darn it, how had it gone so wrong so quickly?
(How much more would it take? Which one would lead to the road where your dearest friend, the people of Termina and yourself didn't burn over the unknowable, cruel whims of cursed divinity? How much more must Link bleed, give and slowly kill himself for?-)
The walking corpse groans, it's too close to his location and there are two to your other left that could rush any of you at any second, he's the one with the Ocarina and you refuse to let him try using one of those masks while wounded, you saw how he screeched like someone slowly pulling the flesh from his bones one too many times to tolerate. You twitch just as he does, but you move faster, bow already draw and with three arrows knocked, your arms straining against the taught strings.
You may not have any more flame blessed arrows, but you knew how to make fiery ones that would be just enough for the situation at hand.
Link sends you a steely glare caught between betrayal and understanding as he nods, gritting his teeth as he mouths to you a simple, pleading resquest:
'Do not die.'
"MOVE!" You snarl, as you let your arrows fly, one of them hits the Gibdo near him right in the eye and the fire catches as if it's been doused in oil and it screams writhing and squirming with pain as it tries to shrug it's cloth away. The sound between once human and abominable loud enough you swear you feel something warm dripping from your ears but have no time to check as the other two, handcrafted fire arrows cripple it's leg and one of it's arms that were creeping around your mask wielding friend's hiding spot as he books it as fast as his legs will carry him with the Bunny Hood, you whirl around, shooting the one's right around your corner with one arrow each and prepare to cover his back.
You don't look behind yourself as you hear the house's door slam shut and Tatl's cut off call of your name, instead focusing on drawing the profane beast's attention away from it, knowing they are eager to see your insides decorate the Ikana grounds to join their once living brethren, to attempt to bite down around your ribs and quaff down your lukewarm blood with vesania inked glee and maddened grieving elation as you struggle against the petrifying glare with animal franticness and all the defiance your humanity gave you as one of them holds you down and it HURTSTEARSROTSANDYOUCANNOTMOVE-
"---(Name)!"
You shoot up from your bedroll, dagger in hand, barely scraping the throat of whoever had your shoulders in a firm, but reassuring grip, breathing hard as the brief burst of adrenaline leaves your body as it comes face to face with aquamarine, phosphophylite and cinnabar marks around a beautifully night sky blue gaze with all the intensity of a wolf caring for it's pack. Your grip on the pristine blade you've taken to carrying slackening even as he already moved away with practiced ease, the same way you would when he'd lash out when you wakened him from night terrors to avoid getting your head lopped off, even knowing instinctively you'd never hurt one another.
Time.
Safe, alive, free if highly traumatized Time.
... Then again, you can't judge.
He scans you with one eye, quiet concern and understanding as he slowly moves to tuck some hair behind your ear in a low tone, dimly you note the faint squeeze to your pulse, reassuring you both as you drop your dagger to the side, much preferring to take his calloused hand in yours instead than cold, unfeeling steel, "Nightmare?"
You take a moment, breathing, drinking him in turn, and the fact that you had both left the worst of Termina behind as you do your best to cut down the lingering memories away, a brittle smile comes to your lips as you scan the camp as you squeeze his hand back, "Mhm, same old, sorry. Did I wake anyone up?"
"No, I got to you before you could. You looked troubled and I couldn't have that." he shakes his head, gently he presses a kiss to the back of your hand. "You've no need to apologize."
He'd have done the same, has done the same but your positions were reversed, you have the same nightmares after all.
You smile, his devotion as always cutting through the night terrors than any blade or arrow, a welcome bit of reinforcements that you knew would never fail, you gently lift a hand to caress his cheek, just to reassure yourself that he is real, touching your foreheads together, "Thank you."
He closes his eyes, the soft rumble of his voice like the wind over leaves fully taking your worries away as surely as the tides in his eyes took the love you dared not voice aloud each passing day, "Always."
You both take a moment to stay like that, silent as you steady yourselves, still in disbelief you were both still here, before he gently places a hand atop yours, giving it a light squeeze, "Walk with me? I don't believe any of us will be able to get anymore sleep tonight."
Your smile, mischievous glee dyeing it as you kiss his free cheek, echoing his words back at him, "Always. Must you ask?"
He gives you a flat look, and you can't help but laugh. Gently he pulls you to your feet and, just to be a menace that you and Warriors knew he never ceased to be, rather than let you actually walk with him as he requested, he sweeps you from your feet and into a princess carry, making you have to bite down an outraged shriek and cackle as you ineffectively smack one of his shoulders with hissed, half hearted protests lest you both wake the entire camp. Affronted but amused as you catch the glimpse of a smirk, heart warm as you catch the slight shaking of his chest as he silently laughs too.
(If Wolfie sends you both an unimpressed look, having jerked awake from the sudden movement when you both return to camp, taking leaves and twigs from one another's hair from a 'daring' escape you've made that involved almost knocking you and Time both into a river, well, you'll just make it up to Twilight later in the morning and you're sure Time will help with Epona as well.)
It matters not that the pale moon attempted to remind you of the undead's eyes, and of the many horrors you've faced in that long distant journey that still had the tips of their claws in your souls, when you knew he'd keep you safe. And that you'd do your best to protect him now as you did back then.
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