#it's less the scene and more the way that

[ourautumn86]

two geniuses (don’t get along)

enemies to lovers;; spencer reid x fem reader!

note; in this fic lila’s episode happens after elle’s departure to make the story have more sense. (S1 E18). also there have been some changes :))

synopsis; spencer reid; doctor spencer reid. some of them (mostly of them), would say he’s a genius. but if he was, then so you were. maybe that’s why you hate each other. maybe that’s why you can’t stand him.

cw;; +18 content! minors dni!, reader and spencer’s competitive asses, talk of murder, graphic scenes, weapons, guns, blood, shots being fired, lila flirting, spencer kissing lila, lots of fighting, lots of tension, teasing, apologies, reader getting hurt (mentions of stitches), threats, murder of secondary characters, talk about kinks and trauma (spencer being a smartaas), mention of spencer’s childhood and her mom… ( i bet there’s so much more but i can’t remember rn) angst, fluff and smut in upcoming chapters!!!

“another coffee, pretty boy? you wanna die?” morgan inquired the puppy eyed profiler, whose right hand held a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

“actually, the caffeine in coffee has been found in animal and cell studies to protect cells in the brain that produce dopamine. in a large prospective cohort of more than 500,000 people followed for 10 years, an association was found between drinking higher amounts of coffee and lower rates of death from all causes.” he easily spat in less than a mere minute, making morgan scoff.

“it’s not considered coffee if a 99% of it is sugar, reid.” you barged into their conversation, taking a look at the files of new cases.

“sugar is one type of carbohydrate, as are fiber and starch. carbohydrates are essential macronutrients.” he defended himself, taking a sip of his coffee-sugar.

“wrong. although carbohydrates are essential macronutrients since the body uses them in large amounts, something wrong about your thesis is that sugar is not one of those macronutrients. the body doesn’t use it. in fact, the effects of added sugar intake which are higher blood pressure, inflammation, weight gain, diabetes, and fatty liver disease, are all linked to an increased risk for heart attack and stroke. so yeah. technically, morgan was right. you might die.” you nodded towards the man, who smiled at you, walking towards you and taking your face in between his hands.

“have i told you how much i love that brain of yours?” he inquired, leaving a kiss to your forehead. “brilliant.” he smiled, raising his hands in victory since for once he had won spencer and his extensive knowledge. the profiler simply rolled his eyes.

“thanks.” spencer spat at you, to what you smiled.

“you’re very welcome, agent.”

“it’s doctor.”

“yeah, yeah. whatever.”

spencer reid. with an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and the ability to read 20,000 words per minute, he was considered a real walking genius. maybe that’s why the two of you seemed to despise each other so much. people say geniuses actually like each other. well, you and spencer were the exception. it was easy to get on his nerves. he was not used to having someone smart enough to actually suppose a threat to his intelligence. yet there you were. you had been jumping your way up to college since you were twelve, and at the ripe age of 22, and numerous phds later, you had found yourself working at the BAU.

you had been hired after elle had left the team, and everyone had seemed happy greeting you. you had specially made quick friends of penelope and morgan. something reid didn’t seem to like. well… he didn’t exceptionally like you. something that seemed stupid ‘cause you two were the perfect pair. there was nothing the two of you didn’t know, nothing you wouldn’t catch or realize. maybe that’s why spencer despised you. ‘cause now they had you too, not only him.

it was actually a pity. you liked smart people. you liked to share opinions and learn new things you might not know with the help of others. but spencer was borderline narcissistic, and that made your body cringe in disgust. and worst of all, he was really attractive. curly caramel hair, hazel puppy eyes, full lips, small straight nose, tall stature, pretty hands… also his voice…

well, anyways. you were losing focus.

so you’d decided to match his energy. and that only seemed to make the situation worse. sure, you two worked together, but only because you had to, if you could you’d much prefer to do everything alone rather than have to share office with reid.

hotch caught your attention as he pushed a file on your table.

“and what’s this…?” you sung as you took it, inspecting it.

“training program in los angeles.” you looked at him. he was leaning against your table. “want you to go with gideon and reid.” you let out a single chuckle, tossing the paper on your table.

“no.” you simply said, watching the man sigh. “tell jj to go! or prentiss!” you offered.

“can’t. jj is helping penelope to trace an unsub and prentiss is new, need someone who has been on the ropes longer.”

“then what about morgan? he’s not doing anything.” you pointed at the man who played with a mini football.

hotch looked at you. “please? you are the only one who gets reid. you know how he can be…”

“a narcissistic, egocentric, babbling, childlike, fourteen looking mess? yeah, i know.” you smiled. “but what do i win in this situation? i mean i must gain something if i’m gonna spend more time than necessary with him.”

“a free weekend.”

“done.” you gave him your hand. “a pleasure doing business with you, sir.”

-

“spencer! spencer reid!” you hear someone call for your work-mate, a tall smiling man approaching him and shaking his hand just as the three of you entered an art exhibition. “look at you. you look just the same.” he chuckled as he gives him a quick hug. “nothing changed… spencer was the only 12-year-old in our graduating class. just the same.”

“thanks.” spencer awkwardly says, giving the man a tight smile. “these are special agents jason gideon and (y/n) (l/n). this is parker dunley. we went to high school together as you can probably gather.” he introduces all of you.

“hey. it’s a beautiful gallery.” jason gives him his hand in a shake.

“oh, thank you, thank you. parker smiles, later on turning towards you.

“contemporary art… right?” you inquire offering him your hand, to what he nods. “contemporary modern art includes a wide range of mediums and genres. it is often characterized by its use of new media, such as video and installation art, as well as its rejection of traditional art forms. contemporary modern artists often experiment with form and content, and their work can be highly conceptual.” you say, making the man chuckle.

“i see you brought your computers.” parker jokes with gideon about spencer and you. “another genius like spencer?”

“oh no, men are just smart. woman are the geniuses.” you smile, making him chuckle.

“and funny, huh? i see, i see.”

spencer coughs to grab the man’s attention. “jason’s a big contemporary art enthusiast.”

“well, we’re exhibiting four up-and-coming artists in this show. everything is for sale. and i could definitely swing a nice discount for a friend of…” he loses focus as a blonde beautiful woman enters the exhibition. “lila! hey. guys, come on.” he invites you three towards his friend, coming up to her to say hello.

“do i look 12-years-old to you?” spencer inquired gideon, to what you scoffed, thanking the waiter that offered and served you a glass of champagne.

“oh, totally.” you said as you took it, taking a sip as you heard spencer crack a fake laugh.

“real funny.”

you three made your way towards parker and… lila. she was a beautiful blue eyes-blonde young girl. the basic american beauty standard.

“spencer. you ever met a real movie star?” the man asks, to what the girl beside the blonde scoffs.

“movie star? please. she has a supporting role on a television series about beach volleyball. totally blue-collar.” your eyebrows slightly rise.

“what a friend…” you whisper to your glass, taking another sip of the champagne.

“i’m lila.” the girl gives a sweet smile to spencer, and you almost roll your eyes.

it’s only a matter of time.

“hi, im doctor spencer reid… i’m spencer. you don’t have to call me doctor.” he corrects himself.

lila chuckles. in 3… 2… 1… and tucks her hair behind her ear. there we go.

“cool.” you say, turning around without even introducing yourself, it’s not as if she’d pay attention to you. she’s too focused on spencer to care as you make your way through the gallery, taking the artwork in, trying to scape the probable flirting that was about to go down.

later on you found the two of them chatting in front of a picture in which the blue and green dominate.

“does it make you feel anything?” the blonde asked him, and you silently expect an answer from spencer.

“like what?” he asks. god he sucks.

“i can’t tell you how to feel.” lila chuckles at his frown.

“right now i feel pretty good.” he smiled and you roll your eyes.

“lila? can i talk to you for a moment?” parker interrupts their chatting and the girl nods, quickly glancing at spencer.

“excuse me.”

“sure!” he gently says, and you make your way towards him.

“feeling pretty good, huh?” you inquire him, teasingly, and he groans. “you totally suck.” you take a sip of your glass and he looks at you. “poor girl seems desperate.”

“desperate for what?” he inquires, frowning.

“oh come on, reid. and you call yourself a profiler? it’s obvious she likes you. she was trying to flirt with you.” you obviously state. “she was trying so hard and you were not catching on…” you laugh, and he sighs.

“you know ogling on other’s business is rude, right?” he questions you.

“we’re the fbi. we’re on everybody’s business. that’s our job, reid.” you ignore him, taking a look at the photograph lila and him were staring at. “calming, isn’t it?” you say and he looks at the photograph as well, taking it in.

“sometimes, the color blue is associated with loneliness and sadness. it usually happens when you combine it with specific elements, like rain.” he spits and you chuckle.

“i know that, genius. the thing is not how it’s supposed to make you feel, it’s how it really makes you feel.” he looks at you as you sip from your cup. “with lila, you might feel good, ‘cause you enjoy her company, with me on the other side, you might not even want to be here, staring at a photograph that you’ve probably seen before. that’s because you focus on everything too much. you need to see what the picture actually tells you, not focus on the person you’re staring at it with.”

spencer’s hazel eyes go back to the picture, trying to focus on it, not on your presence, or the amount of voices that surrounded him.

the exhibited photograph shows an empty gas station, lights of green engulfing it as the nightlight blue sky surrounds it. it takes spencer back to his childhood. to those days in which even if he loved his mother, he couldn’t spend another minute by her side and left his house late in the afternoon for a walk. it helped him get out of his head. he remembers watching the sun go down as the night took over the sky, studying and calling out the constellations above his head, trying to find a solution to his mother’s illness. the stars never worked, and he was always left…

“it makes me feel alone.”

-

“you know, we really can get ourselves to the airport.” gideon said, reid and you trailing behind him as the police officer guided you to his car.

“i didn’t invite the fbi here to let them make their own way around town.” he says, never minding gideon.

“we really appreciate it.” reid says and you whistle.

“so you have manners, huh?” to what he groans.

“oh, shut up.”

“hey, i can’t thank you guys enough for conducting the seminar.” kim smiles.

“well, don’t hesitate to call if there’s anything we can help with.” gideon offered, putting his bags on the trunk of the car.

you stretched your arms after having pushed in your own. “can’t wait for that free weekend.” you muster happily, to what spencer frowns.

“free weekend? what are you talking about?”

“a special thanks from hotch for coming all the way here and putting up with you.” his mouth falls open at your words.

“i didn’t get any free time and i had to put up with you!”

“that let’s you know who’s the problem in this equation.” you falsely smiled at him, patting her shoulder, and you relished on the way his jaw tightened.

your conversation ends as the three of you watch officer kim end a phone call with a not very enthusiastic ‘great’.

“everything alright?” jason asks.

“double murder at hollywood bungalow.” he informs. “a celebrity. a young movie star, natalie ryan, and her fiancé shot to death.”

“very romantic.” you mutter.

“it’s gonna be a major pain in the ass. hey, you guys care to take a quick look before i drive you to the airport? it’s on the way.” he asks, and gideon accepts the offer.

“absolutely.”

you sigh as you get on the back of the car along with spencer.

“seems like that weekend is gonna have to wait.” he happily and teasingly smiles and you send daggers in his direction.

“i’ll choke you with my bare hands.”

“did you get that kink by exposure or trauma?” your mouth falls and your eyes widen.

“what?” you almost yell, watching him ponder.

“maybe it’s because you like to have power and control. have you talked about this with a therapist?”

“you’re gonna have to see a therapist after the torture i’m gonna put you through if you don’t stop that fucking nonsense.” you warn him, and he raises his hands.

“i’m just saying, there’s nothing bad about seeking mental help-”

“spencer!”

-

“no sign of forced entry.” reid points out as the four of you enter the murder scene.

“same weapon.” gideon informs watching at the two bodies.

you stare at the female, getting closer. “the girl was shot execution style, once in the head. the male three times in the torso.”

“so you have two different MOs.” jason wonders before going back to officer kim, talking about the case. you crouch down to take a better look at the man’s corpse.

“what? you found anything?” spencer inquired from behind you, to what you shook your head.

“nah. just fantasizing.” he frowns.

“fantasizing. what the- what would you possibly be fantasizing about in a murder scene?”

“oh you know… you… in that position… you know? it’s really sexy, you should try it. here don’t move let me get my gun.” you offer while getting up, and he just rolls his eyes, leaving you behind.

“what do you think?” gideon asks the officer about the case, wanting his insight.

“i’ve had a couple other cases recently, past few months. same type of weapon, 22 caliber handgun, both shot in the head.” you look at the bodies. “the first was an established film producer, wally melman, and the second was chloe harris, another young actress. though not as well-known as natalie here.”

“any forensic evidence?” reid asks as you step away from them, taking in your surroundings.

“no, and the guys have been going through this place all morning and haven’t come up with anything.”

“so he clearly knows how to cover his tracks.”

“or hers.” you mutter to yourself.

“twenty-two’s are small but efficient. they bounce around inside a person like a pinball.” jason said.

“preferred weapon of the mafia.” spencer added. “you know, there’s no obvious sexual component to these crimes, which is usually the case with serial murders.”

“so you’re thinking this is a serial killer?” kim asks.

“well, it’s certainly a series of murders. we don’t know enough yet to call them serial.” you step into the conversation.

“would you consider hanging out in LA a little while? let me lean on your expertise until we do figure out what we’ve got?” the officer inquires and gideon nods.

“yeah, just cancel the flights. we’ll have the rest of pit team out here ASAP.”

-

the unsub seemed to follow his victims, since he knew their schedules. there was not a single witness, he knows how to blend in and hide in plain sight. he’s meticulous.

and everybody is watching.

just like everybody was watching spencer and lila.

after finding out that the unsub was actually stalking the blonde, and killing people to help her with her career, she had somehow scurried her way under spencer’s protection. it actually bothered you. ‘cause spencer seemed so distracted. and it was totally unprofessional to get involved with a target being their agent.

you were on her studio, studying everyone surrounding her. but it was one person that caught your attention.

“who’s that?” you question prentiss.

“that’s maggie, maggie lowe. for what i know she just works here.” she answers you. “why?”

“they seem pretty close, don’t you think?” you ponder, watching her physical language. “she also seems nervous, she avoids lila’s eyes.”

“maybe she’s just shy.” she shrugs, but knows what you’re pointing out.

“maybe…” then, jj appears.

“what are you guys talking about?”

“lila and possible unsubs.” emily fills her in, accepting the coffee she offers her, you take the one she handles you too with a thanks.

“talking about lila… look who’s approaching her.” she devilishly smiles. you almost groan at the sight of spencer talking to the blonde. “they seem to have hit it off.”

“ugh don’t start. he’s so focused on her when in reality he should be focused on his job…” you sip at your coffee, not realizing the shared look the other two girls send each other. “so unprofessional.” you shake your head.

“are you really mad because he’s distracted from his job or by the fact that a pretty girl is distracting him?” jj asked you, taking in your frown and confused expression.

“what?”

“oh come on, really? do you really not feel it?” emily pushes in too, and you look at them.

“feel what? i-i don’t understand.”

“there’s this weird tension in between the two of you.” the brunette explains, being backed up by the blonde.

“it’s like when two little kids like each other and they don’t know how to show it so they just mess with each other.” you scoff.

“you’re saying that spencer and i are attracted to each other?” you inquired them both and they looked at the other. “come on guys, have you seen him? have you actually worked with him? he’s a fucking narcissist, he makes my life impossible just because i’m as smart as him. i don’t like him. at all. i can’t even stand him!” you rant. “he does this thing when he’s focused, playing with his hands and pencils, it’s so distracting. and when i state a fact, he just has to find something to actually make it wrong. every single time. and let’s not talk about how fucking childish he is, if you guys had been here for the training program, i swear to god he said this stupid things about kinks and me having trauma, oh my god i wanted to fucking kill him. he diminishes me, and thinks he’s better than me. and it just makes me sick…” you take a deep breath when you notice how much you had actually talked and your friends’ looks. “what i mean to say is, no. i don’t like spencer reid. and if he wants to fuck his job up, i’d be more than happy.”

morgan suddenly appeared, hotch right behind him.

“guys. there’s something you have to know…” the first talked.

“michael ryer’s dead.” the second finished.

“oh shit.” emily cursed.

“does lila know?” jj asked.

they shook their head.

“she’s gonna be devastated.” jj said to what you sipped at your coffee.

“well at least she has spencer, right?”

“oh, yeah. can we talk about that real quick?!” morgan inquired, astonished.

“no, morgan!” the girls stop him and he raised his hands.

“okay… but the kid has game.”

-

“woah. i like your house.” spencer said as you two entered lila’s house.

how had you managed to end up with the two of them alone, you didn’t know, and you didn’t like.

“i rent it.” the girl smiled.

“nice.” he nodded.

“lila, you should probably change all your phone numbers.” you said, messaging your team, they’d found something concerning nude photos of the young artist.

“i’m unlisted.”

“anytime you call an 800 or an 888 number your phone number’s put into a data bank that’s then sold to telemarketers. if someone gets your phone number they can go online and research all your records.” you actually responded.

“woah, are you a genius like spencer too?” spencer.

“no. i’m actually smarter.” you gave her a small smile, making her chuckle.

“uh… you should probably carry a piece of paper and pen with you wherever you go in case you see any suspicious license plates that often reappear.” spencer tries to change the conversation as you two followed the blonde towards her kitchen. “and a security dog too.”

“allergic.” she simply answered. “do you guys want some tea?”

you shrugged. “yeah, sure. thanks.” spencer nodded as well. it was already getting late, the sun leaving the city’s sky.

“i’m gonna go change while the water boils, make yourselves comfortable.” she said while making her way upstairs.

you went back towards the salon, your eyes wandering towards a collage on lila’s wall. spencer got your left side, his white stripped button up shirt’s sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“feel anything yet?” you asked him.

“there is something definitely appealing about this one.” he said and you nodded.

“like lila?”

he looked at you, his mouth falling open to say something, but just as the words were to fall from his lips, the blonde returned in a a more comfortable outfit, making her way towards the patio of her house, beside the pool.

“what are you doing?” spencer inquired her.

“i just need some air. the tea is on the kitchen.” she responded.

“what? no, lila…” your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you watched him go after her.

you could hear them talk and spencer beg her to come inside since there was a psychotic killer aiming at her. you made your way back to the kitchen just as fast as you saw the blonde lean into him, one of her hands tugging at his tie to pull him down. great.

your hands took the cup of steaming tea that lila had prepared you, your eyes on spencer’s as you took a sip. but the warm liquid was poured all over the floor of the kitchen, your head spinning at the blunt trauma that stroke you. your hands went to the side of your forehead as you fell, taking in the sight of your blood. you groaned as someone took you from your hair, pulling you and dragging you across the floor, your hands getting cuts from the smashed cup of tea.

“come here.” the unsub said, taking away your gun, and… you knew that voice. your eyes met the blonde’s.

“maggie lowe?” you muttered to yourself. so you were right. she was the killer and stalker.

you got dragged all the way to the salon, where you could see lila and spencer kissing from the distance. but the kiss quickly broke when maggie fired a shot up into the ceiling, capturing their attentions. spencer quickly pulled out his weapon, pointing at maggie, whose gun’s barbell was right against your head.

“maggie?” lila inquired as they slowly made their way towards you two.

“why’d you have to bring these people here?” she asked lila. “put down the gun.” she ordered spencer, clocking the weapon that kissed your skin. he quickly lowered it, calling out for the killer. “don’t call me maggie! you don’t know me!” “come on lila, let’s go. we gotta go baby, let’s go.” she ordered the actress in a soft yet hurt voice.

“maggie don’t hurt her, you don’t need to hurt her.” you didn’t know if he was talking about lila or you. or maybe both.

“you don’t know anything. i would never do anything to hurt lila. i created her.”

“no, you didn’t.” lila said.

“yes, i did!” you closed your eyes when the barbell dug harsher against your temple. “i did everything for you! and you betray me by bringing these people here… to our house!!!”

“so ungrateful…” you say, loud enough for maggie to hear you. “look at you… you gave her everything and you saw what she did to you… she kissed him. she told him she loved him.” you lied, looking at spencer. he caught on.

“what?” maggie incredulously said.

“i heard them. i saw them kissing each other like animals!” you yelled. “he abandoned me… and now i’m here. about to be killed because of him!” you spat, meeting maggie’s eyes. “you don’t have to hurt me. they don’t deserve us. i’m on your side maggie… i know how you feel. i know how it feels to be betrayed like this…” you nodded, seeing her eyes change. “give me my gun… i’ll kill him for you. and then you can have lila back. i’ll let the two of you go.” you promised, slowly rising up to your feet, extending your hand.

and just as she pointed her gun down, you tackled her, taking the weapons from her and throwing them aside as she fought against your hold.

“reid!” you called out for your work mate, who quickly came to you and handcuffed maggie, who just started crying and begging for you to kill her.

“i gave her everything…”

you looked at spencer, wiping off the blood from your eyes.

“and that’s why we need to stay professional.”

-

“are you okay, pretty girl?” morgan came to you as the paramedics wiped clean your wound.

“yeah, they say i have a light concussion. a couple of stitches and i’ll be alright.” you gave him a small smile.

“what happened in there, huh? we only got what the paparazzi had on camera, which is…” you nodded.

“yeah. well, maggie got into the house with lila’s spare keys, and basically almost killed me. it was good luck that spencer kissed lila, or else i don’t know what i would’ve done.” the rest of the team had gathered around you.

“you did good. spencer told me how you got into her head.” gideon said.

“thanks.” you responded.

“make sure you’re on the clear before getting up. we’ll be right back, gotta fill in the other officers.” hotch informed you, to what you nodded.

they all left except spencer, who silently looked at you.

“i’m sorry.” spencer said, looking at his feet. “this shouldn’t have happened, if i hadn’t…”

“… played barbie?” you finished off for him, catching his attention. “look spencer. i don’t really care about it. it’s your life and you make your own decisions, just… make sure to not put any of us in danger while doing it. even lila. one of us three could have died tonight.” he nodded. you reached on your back pockets, pulling out the films of the paparazzi’s camera. “i guess this is yours.” he called out for you once again, probably to apologize one more time, but you were still pretty shaken up and you were still pretty mad at him. “would you mind? my head is killing me.” you asked of him and he nodded, silently turning around and walking its way towards morgan and emily. your mind went back to her words the moment the needle punctured your skin. oh ‘come on, really? do you really not feel it?’ ‘there’s this weird tension in between the two of you.’. and then back to jj’s. ‘it’s like when two little kids like each other and they don’t know how to show it so they just mess with each other’. you couldn’t help but chuckle.

you liking spencer? no way.

if there was anything you felt for spencer reid that was hate.

-

a/n; im so excited for this series!!!! so much angst and fluff and smut yet to come!🤭

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[egcdeath]

something old, something new

pairing: patrick zweig x f!reader

summary: when your childhood best friend asks you to get married, how are you supposed to say no?

word count: 7.2k

warnings: MATURE (mentions of sex but no explicit sex scenes), marriage of convenience, fluff, mentions of alcohol, patrick is a bad friend (but he improves), friends to spouses to lovers, fake dating, yearning and pining, everyone is bad at communicating, many feelings are being repressed, mentions of dieting in an athlete way, one singular creepy old man, no use of y/n

author’s note: i cannot get this tennis man out of my head!! i hope you all enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!

It wasn’t every day that you could count on hearing anything from your childhood best friend, but it seemed like whenever you did hear from Patrick Zweig, it was always an ask for something more shocking than the previous one. 

As kids, you spent many evenings doing the homework that Patrick didn’t want to do, despite the fact that you didn’t really want to do more homework either. At boarding school, you’d somehow become his personal designated driver, answering his calls no matter what time and groggily picking him up from whatever party he’d found himself at. In your adulthood, you found yourself becoming a go-to stand-in for him at events he didn’t feel like attending. The amount of times that you’d shaken hands at charity galas and introduced yourself as Patrick’s girlfriend, despite not having a single romantic encounter with him, was frankly astounding. 

It seemed like whenever Patrick needed something, you were the first person he reached out to. After his parents, of course. 

You dreaded knowing the reason behind the simple hey, text message you’d just received, but you were sure that you’d find the reason out sooner rather than later–and that whatever the reason was could not have been good. 

Like clockwork, only an hour after you’d received his message, Patrick appeared at the doorway of your apartment. He came to you equipped with his secret weapon, the kicked puppy look that he often used on you before he asked you for a ridiculous favor, like breaking up with his girlfriend for him or telling his mom that he still wasn’t joining the board of the family business. 

You sighed as you took his less-than-stellar appearance in. Downtrodden expression, wrinkled and sweat-stained shirt, as if he’d gone to the gym to sweat out his feelings before coming to you, and eyes so red-rimmed, you wondered if he’d been crying. 

If you had to guess, he’d either been arguing with his parents, who knew exactly how to get under his skin, or his tennis friends, who also knew exactly how to get under his skin, or his latest girlfriend, who probably confronted him about his own wrongdoings. Regardless of who had upset him, he had obviously come to you to lick his wounds. 

Like always, Patrick stalked inside without asking you for any further permission. The two of you had done this song and dance more times than either one of you would like to admit. 

“How are you?” he asked, stopping in your kitchen to steal an apple from your decorative bowl of fruit.

“I’m good,” you said with hesitation, eyeing him once more. He really looked like shit. If he hadn’t looked so sad, you would’ve told him exactly how much shit he looked like.  

“Aren’t you gonna ask me how I am?” he questioned, a little pathetically.

“No,” you walked off to your living room, fully expecting him to follow you. You were unsurprised when he did exactly that. “Let’s just get right to it. Why’d you come over here?” you asked as the two of you sat down on your couch. 

“My parents are cutting me off,” he explained, voice breaking as he spoke.

Surely, this couldn’t all be over an empty threat. They seemed to threaten Patrick with this every few days. In fact, you’d been in the room with him when his parents promised that he’d never see another dime from them–more than once. Every time, it ended with them coming to their senses and throwing more cash at him. 

“That’s what, the twentieth time?” you laughed. “They always threaten to cut you off. What’s different this time?”

“This time, they mean it.”

You laughed even harder in his face. If you had a quarter for every time you’d had this conversation, you’d be richer than the two of your families combined. 

“I’m serious,” he inched closer to you. “They’re tired of funding my ‘tennis habit’. They want me to get serious about life. To join the board and start a family. My dad showed me an edited draft of his will and everything”

“So?” you prompted, trying to figure out where you fell into the equation. Hopefully he wouldn’t try to put you up to something absurd, like seducing his father into convincing him to not threaten Patrick’s inheritance.

“So, tennis is the only thing I care about.”

“Okay…” you trailed off. “What would you like me to do about that?”

“I need you to help show my parents that I have a vision for the future.”

“Again, Patrick, what exactly are you asking me to do?”

“Marry me.”

You weren’t sure what you expected him to say, but it certainly was not that. Your mouth instantly dropped open and you were sure that you were gaping like a fish. Maybe if he had asked you ten years ago, you’d have instantly said yes, but you’d let that naive dream die after you’d come to realize the transactional subtext of your friendship.

“What?”

“I want you to marry me. I was thinking… you remember when we were younger and we made that pact, that if we weren’t married by the time we were adults, then we’d get hitched?”

You continued to stare at him, completely dumbfounded and not believing a single word coming from his mouth. “I… I…” you couldn’t even form the words. “We were kids!”

He gave you a halfhearted shrug, as if that didn’t matter at all, and as if he didn’t just ask you to be legally and romantically bound to him forever.

“You are fucking unbelievable! You haven't talked to me for anything other than asking me a favor in years, I barely know you’re alive apart from the random drunk texts you send me, and now you want me to marry you? Do you even hear yourself?”

You scoffed and stared at him in disbelief. “And that has to be the worst proposal in all of human history. First you tell me that tennis is the only thing you care about and then ask me to marry you? You’re a joke.”

He let you finish your rant, but after a beat he finally asked. “…Is that a no?”

———-

Stranger things had happened to you than marrying your childhood best friend just a month after he’d randomly popped back up in your life. At least, that’s what you told yourself as you walked down the aisle on a beautiful beach off of the Amalfi Coast.

The last few weeks had been an absolute whirlwind, with what felt like every second of your time consumed by making guest lists and invitations, booking hotel rooms, and finding a dress that you liked enough to get married in. Obviously, you knew this was more of an elaborate scheme than a celebration of love, but you wanted it to be nice anyway. For all you knew, you may never get married again.

You don’t know what possessed you to say yes to Patrick. Maybe the small, desperate part of you that had been begging him to truly see you since you were old enough to realize he didn’t, or maybe the desire to finally have that fairytale destination wedding you’d been dreaming about from the time you learned what a wedding was. Regardless of the reason, both of your families were overjoyed by the union. In one fell swoop, you’d been able to satisfy both of your parents’ desires for you to settle down, and you’d done it with someone both pairs approved of. 

You had to give props to Patrick, the ceremony was beautiful. Given the short timeline, the two of you decided to divide and conquer the planning of the event. You were sure that he’d outsourced the work, since he was still in the middle of his tennis season, but whoever he hired did an excellent job at giving you the wedding you’d always wanted. 

Despite the very short timeline everyone had been given, you were able to wrangle all of your close family and friends to Italy to watch you elope. Your parents had insisted on inviting second cousins and shareholders to your wedding, but you’d somehow convinced them that you and Patrick wanted a smaller, more intimate ceremony. It was probably better to have less people there, lest someone notices the artificial nature of your union. 

Part of you felt like you’d pulled off the greatest prank of all time as the two of you stood up in front of your small crowd, gazing as lovingly as you could manage into each others’ eyes while the officiant said his spiel, but the other, more logical part of you filled with dread as the reality of the situation began to set in. Patrick seemed to have a way of always dragging you into a shitty situation, and you hoped for both of your sakes, that that wouldn’t be the case for your marriage.

After what felt like a lifetime, Patrick began to recite his vows, claiming to have loved you since you were children, and promising to continue to love you ‘till death did you part. If you had been marrying literally anyone else, your knees would go weak with swooning. 

Unfortunately, you were cursed with the knowledge of the reality of your situation, one where your vows sounded more like: “We only have to stay married until I retire, which should be sooner rather than later. We don’t have to do anything together: no galas, no family dinners, no family vacations. Hell, you don’t even have to come to my games. And we don’t have to be exclusive either. This is basically just a title, so feel free to see anyone you want to. I can already see the worry in your face. Stop that. We can hire someone to make us prenups, so the divorce will be an easy, clean split of our assets. See? It’s not that bad.”

The dichotomy between the words he’d said to you a month ago and the bullshit he was spewing now almost made you laugh, but that was clearly not the reaction you were meant to be having when the love of your life was publicly declaring their feelings for you. 

Once he finished declaring his romantic, empty words, you began to read off your vows. They fell in a similar vein to his, a proclamation of a lifetime-spanning love that didn’t really exist in the first place. But when you glanced up at him from your slip of paper, he was really selling it. He stared at you like he adored you, like he wanted to study every inch of your face after running off with you into the sunset.

The ridiculousness of it all finally hit you like a freight train, and you managed to pivot the laugh that was creeping up into your throat into a weepy sounding crack of your voice. Surely people cried during their own weddings. 

You finished off your vows, doing your best to pretend like this whole ordeal wasn’t the most ridiculous scheme you’d ever been dragged into. You imagined a world where he was less selfish and you were less selfless, one where you were exchanging these vows with sincerity, and it helped you to get through the words that you knew were almost completely meaningless. 

The two of you then took turns placing the ring on each others’ fingers, with Patrick giving you a ring with the largest diamond you’d ever seen, and you giving him a band that had been passed throughout your family. He’d agreed to give you the heirloom back once you divorced, so you couldn’t complain too much about giving it away in the first place.

The announcement of being able to kiss the bride rang out in your ears, yet you still found yourself surprised when Patrick eagerly wrapped his arms around you and kissed you passionately. Cheers erupted around the two of you, and you pulled away as the officiant declared you Mr. and Mrs. Zweig.

You had successfully tricked your audience, and yet, you still had the strangest feeling. 

Your reception felt far more natural than your wedding ceremony. After a change of outfit, a huge bowl of pasta, and a few flutes of champagne, you were feeling substantially better about the arguably poor decision you’d just made. You chatted up your friends, who jumped at the opportunity to comment on how cute of a couple you two were, did some light matchmaking between single guests, and placated both of your parents with manufactured acts of affection. You even managed to get Patrick out on the dance floor, after he swore to you that he didn’t dance. 

By the time the two of you were stumbling back into your villa, the woes of the day had practically been forgotten. When you were having this much fun, who cared about a massive, potentially life altering decision? 

You immediately made a beeline to the bathroom, anxious to get into your comfortable pajamas and to wash your face after a long day of wearing tight, extravagant dresses and a heavy layer of makeup.  

“So what did you think of your big day, Mrs. Zweig?” Patrick called out from the other side of the bathroom door, where you were sure he was also preparing for bed. “Was it everything you wanted and more?”

“I think this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” you paused as you thought about something before confessing, “but it was everything I wanted and more.”

“Yes!” he celebrated from where you couldn’t see him, though you could perfectly envision the goofy look on his face. “I owe it to you after everything I’ve put you through. I just hope you weren’t too let down by the groom.”

“What?” you drew out before blowing a raspberry. “Of course not. You looked very handsome today,” you complimented in between splashes of your face. 

“You looked pretty beautiful, yourself,” he complimented you right back. 

“Aww, thank you, honey,” you emphasized the pet name. 

“Hmm, I don’t know if I like that,” you heard the squeak of the bed from behind the door as you assumed that he’d sat down.

“Hey, you’re the one who made me marry you,” you pointed out. “Am I more than you bargained for?”

“Of course not, babe,” he emphasized his own pet name, which sent you into a fit of laughter. “It’s just so weird to hear you refer to me as anything other than an asshole.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’re still an asshole,” you replied as you walked out of the bathroom, donning an old shirt with the logo of your boarding school and an equally old pair of shorts. “Just a married asshole.”

You took in the sight of your now-husband as you made your way to your side of the bed, surprised to find that you quite liked the sense of domestic bliss you were feeling. The bed dipped as you sat down and glanced back at Patrick with the slightest bit of hesitation. 

“Is this weird for you? I can go to the spare room, if you want me to,” he offered, surely in reference to the two of you sleeping in the same bed. 

“Don’t worry about it,” you assured him, setting a steady hand on his knee. “What kind of couple would we be if we didn’t spend our wedding night together?” you teased. 

“The kind of couple that marries for convenience?” he suggested.

“Hey, who’s to say that this isn’t love? I had the biggest crush on you when we were kids. Maybe some of it lingered, or some shit.”

“Oh yeah?” he looked at you with that sleazy smirk that you both loved and hated. “What happened?”

“Hmm… I think I realized that you’re a dick,” you matched his smirk with a challenging one of your own.

“Huh. Did you have this realization before or after you started seeing Dan Thompson?” he questioned.

You were surprised by the mention of your first boyfriend, particularly because you weren’t sure that Patrick remembered any detail about your personal life, let alone your love life. “I realized it after you started treating me like your workhorse.”

“Oh okay, so you had a crush on me while you were with your boyfriend. Good to know.”

“Shut up,” you groaned and turned away from him as you finally full laid down. 

“Would it make you feel better to know that I also had a crush on you?” you heard the bed sheets rustle as he scooted closer to you, and you turned back to face him. 

“You’re lying.” You couldn’t see any world where that would make sense to you. In your youth, it seemed like Patrick was always off somewhere with a new person, and none of those people were you. Not that you had an issue with it, but the thought that the two of you might’ve had crushes on each other at the same time without either of you pursuing each other felt kind of weird. 

“Nope. You’re the first person I ever jerked off to,” he said as casually as if he were telling you what he ate for breakfast, not breaking eye contact with you.

“Ew, you’re so gross,” you gently pushed him, but your hands lingered where they sat on his chest. “Was that supposed to be romantic or something?”

“That’s not romantic to you?” he asked with all the sincerity of someone who was fully committing to a bit. 

The two of you broke out into laughter. Once you finally caught your breath, you began once more. “This is gonna be a long marriage.”

“Hopefully,” he remarked in response. 

“If you keep talking to me like that, I will literally go get our marriage annulled, like right now.”

“Please don’t,” he whined, grabbing one of your hands from his chest and kissing your fingers. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Every time you promise to make something up to me, an inconsistent fairy gains its wings.”

“Hey,” his tone suddenly became very serious, completely catching you off guard. “I really am sorry that I’ve been a terrible friend. I don’t know that I’ve ever said it, but I am. You deserve so much better than me, and I don’t even know how I convinced you to do this for me.”

You almost started to laugh, unable to take the absurd situation seriously. You’d been waiting years to hear him genuinely apologize, and now hours after you’d married solely as a favor to him, he was finally telling you what you wanted to hear. 

“Please. I’m serious. I know you think I’m a piece of shit flaky ashhole, and I am, but I want to be a better husband to you than I ever was as a friend.”

You felt your heart stop beating for a second. The word husband sounded so foreign in his mouth. You couldn’t quite pin how you felt about it, but you knew you felt uncomfortable with the intimacy of his words. 

“Patrick, please shut up,” you squeezed your eyes shut, suddenly a little overwhelmed with the Patrick of it all. In fact, you couldn’t think of anything more encapsulating of your experience with him than the whiplash you got from that moment. He could be a complete asshat, but his occasional moments of earnestness kept you following him like a lost puppy, accepting his apologies and granting him ridiculous favors, despite your better judgment. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, moving closer to you to get a good look at you. You swore you felt your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. 

“I’m fine, I just-“ am overwhelmed by you being sweet? Can’t believe that I’m hearing you say this to me after so long? Also can’t believe that you and I are married?

None of the right words seemed to come to you, so you did the second best thing you could think of. 

You pecked his lips and pulled away as if you’d just touched a hot handle. You didn’t know what had come over you, and immediately began to apologize profusely. 

“Oh my god, I don’t know-“ you were cut off by his hands on your face, greedily and sloppily pulling you back in for another kiss, this one far more passionate and confident than the first. 

Your kiss was messy but fervent, years of pent up sexual frustration and non-sexual frustration behind your every movement. As you kissed, you moved to straddle him, feeling a little ridiculous in your ratty old clothes, but that didn’t stop him from groping you over your pajamas like you were the hottest thing on the planet. 

Maybe the strangest thing to happen to you that day wasn’t even your wedding.

——

That night was the first in a series of very strange events. You couldn’t even fully wrap your head around what was happening in your marriage. You just knew that the two of you had become closer friends than you’d ever been before, and that you slept together when either of you had the urge. It was basically a no strings attached situation, except, legally, all strings were attached. 

If you were confused by your arrangement, you were sure that your friends were even more lost, something they proved to you as they interrogated you over brunch. 

“So, just so we’re clear, you married him as a favor?!” your friend asked in complete disbelief. 

“Well… yeah, basically.”

“Shit. Can I ask you for a favor of a million dollars?” she joked, leading to the laughter of your other friends at the table.

“Well, that’s different. At least with our marriage, we both benefit. He gets his parents off his ass about being so focused on tennis that he doesn’t have any future prospects, and I get my parents to stop trying to marry me off to every single rich boy they find.”

“But you’re not like, actually married. Like you guys don’t have feelings for each other?” another friend questioned.

You sipped your mimosa before explaining your situation for what must’ve been the fifth time that day, “we’re basically friends with benefits.”

“But you’re legally married? Like, the wedding was official and stuff?”

“Legally? Yeah. But it’s literally just that,” you clarified. 

“Legal marriage and sex?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, hoping that they were finally catching on. 

“Then… are you guys seeing other people?”

“Oh yeah, what ever happened to that one model guy you were seeing?” another one of your friends pitched in. 

“It didn’t really work out,” you addressed that with an understatement. He rightfully flipped his shit when he found out you were going to be marrying someone else. “But neither of us are seeing other people. I don’t think either of us want to risk bringing anything back to one another.”

“That sounds pretty committed to me.”

“Not really,” you dismissed.

“Then why are you even together?”

“How many times do I have to explain how we both benefit from this?”

“No, not legally, or socially or whatever. Why are you hooking up with him? Aren’t you scared you’ll mess up your friendship or something?”

“Well, the sex is really, really good. But I’m really not worried. There's no romance between us. We’ve been friends for so long that it’s just… weird to look at him like anything other than my friend. It’s basically a loveless marriage of convenience.”

Your friend shot you a skeptical look. You just shrugged her off. 

———

The moment you found out your afternoon meeting had been canceled, you reached out to your assistant to make arrangements for you to go to Patrick’s tennis game. He’d been on a winning streak, and though he insisted that you didn’t need to come to his games, you knew that he secretly liked having you there. 

Over the past few months of your marriage, you’d grown to realize that he often didn’t say what he actually meant. Like the time he told you that he preferred to live alone, before breathily confessing in your ear that he slept better by your side. Or when he swore to you that he loved the pancakes you’d served him, despite the food being some of the worst you’d ever put in our mouth and him being on a diet. You almost found it sweet that he tried to prioritize your feelings over his own, which was surely a result of overcompensation from the way he had treated you for the majority of your lives. 

You arrived at his match just in time to watch him take a break, making your way into the stands and finding a seat where you’d have the best view of your friend as possible. You didn’t expect him to scan the audience and find you until much later on, but you were pleasantly surprised when the two of you made eye contact and he absolutely lit up. You waved, then gave him a thumbs up in hopes to communicate your support from far away. 

While you couldn’t always make it, you liked to play the role of supportive tennis wife. Getting dressed up and making an appearance not only publicly legitimized your sham of a marriage, but helped you to reconnect with some of your former boarding school classmates, who were often in the stands supporting a friend or a loved one. You also just liked to watch him play, as witnessing the passion and ferocity he had out on the court was extremely entertaining, and even at times, mildly arousing.  

With their break ending, Patrick went back out on the court and played just as well as you expected him to, crushing his competition, and looking up into the stands at you to celebrate once he’d scored the winning point. 

At first, it was surprising how proud his wins made you feel of him, a feeling that you explained to yourself by arguing that if he wasn’t giving his absolute all to tennis, then your marriage had basically been all for nothing. Although that did still ring slightly true, the truth was that you were simply proud of Patrick. Whether you liked it or not, the two of you were a unit now, which meant that his wins were your wins and vice versa. In some ways, it was kind of nice to be part of a team. Or at least his team.

You met Patrick down on the court, where he paused from packing his bag to immediately greet you with a kiss to the forehead, a small act of intimacy that was typically reserved for situations far different from the one you were currently in. 

“Hey! I didn’t know you were coming!” he exclaimed, pulling you in for a half-hug. 

“I didn’t know I was coming either,” you instinctually wrapped your arm around him in response to his half-hug. “Great job out there. You kinda demolished him!”

“I did, didn’t I,” he said just loud enough for you to hear, still wanting to appear like a good sport. “I have to go get ready for the press conference. Do you want to meet me at my hotel?”

“Of course. You don’t mind me staying for the night?” you probed, despite knowing the answer. He wouldn’t have asked you to go to his hotel in the first place if he’d minded.

“You know I never mind you staying for the night,” he gave you a cheeky wink.

“You’re so sleazy,” you commented with fake disgust.

“You started it,” he replied, reluctantly pulling away from you and reaching into his bag to grab his hotel keycard. “I’ll text you when I’m heading back.” 

The moment you received a message about him being on his way to the hotel, you made a very lengthy phone call and request to the restaurant in the building. Technically, he shouldn’t be eating any of what you ordered, on account of him being on a strict diet plan, but you figured that he deserved it after playing the way that he did. Besides, Patrick liked thoughtful acts of service, and you figured that this would count as one.

“You know me so well,” he practically gasped as he stepped into the room, taking in the platters of food you’d laid out for him.

“What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t?” you teased, though your sentiment was somewhat accurate, and it was clear that the two of you had grown to know each other far better over the past few months, you hoped that your friend wasn’t interpreting your words in too serious of a way. 

The two of you laid out on the pristine hotel bed, eating the feast that you’d ordered without much dialogue between you, other than a comment on how good something was, or a request to pass an item to one another. It felt oddly domestic, and oddly enough, you liked it. Maybe you liked it even more than you’d been willing to admit.

“I’m gonna go shower,” he announced after tossing his napkin onto a cleared off plate.

“Want some company?” you offered, raising your brows at him in a playfully suggestive manner.

“Is that what this is all about?” he feigned offense. 

“Maybe,” you trailed off. “Or maybe I just wanted to celebrate the greatest tennis player of all time,” you purred.

“Come on. You and I both know that is far from the truth.”

“Well you’re the greatest player in my heart,” you praised, much to his chagrin.

“Ugh. Shut up and come shower with me.” 

As you sleepily ran your fingers through his damp hair, you were surprised when he broke his silence with a comment seemingly out of the blue. It was more of a mumble than anything else, but you’d grown accustomed to his muffled words over the course of your marriage. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he randomly complimented you.

“You know you don’t have to compliment me to get into my pants, right?” you asked with a hint of laughter in your tone.

“I’m not trying to,” he pecked your arm–the limb he had the easiest access to at the moment–as if he was trying to emphasize his point, though all it did was bring heat to your cheeks at the reminder of the way he’d pressed slow and meaningful kisses along your calves and inner thighs while the two of you were in the shower. “You just looked so good today, I couldn’t not comment.”

“I don’t look good every day?” you asked facetiously, trying to deflect from the warm and fuzzy feeling his compliments and affection were making you feel. 

“Of course you always look good,” he reassured you rather than playing along with your game of joking instead of addressing your feelings. “I just don’t tell you that enough.”

You weren’t even sure how you could respond to that. Clearly, he wasn’t in the mood to mince words tonight, but you couldn’t bear to match his genuinity with cheap jokes. The only real, genuine thought to pop into your head were three ridiculous words that you immediately batted away. You couldn’t think of anything more embarrassing than randomly declaring your love to a husband who wasn’t really your husband in a marriage that wasn’t really a marriage. 

Out of ideas, you hit the lamp on your side of the bed. “I appreciate it. Goodnight.”

“Night,” he parroted back to you, remaining snug against your chest, despite the fact that your hands had stopped threading through his hair. 

Deep down, you knew that those three words had been on the tip of Patrick’s tongue, too.    

——

Being in the social circles of filthily rich people meant you often found yourself at random charity events, hosted by the nonprofits of families and business owners looking for a particularly large tax break for the year. Over the years, you’d felt that you’d seen and participated in it all: marathons raising awareness for a serious, but extremely rare disease, date auctions to raise money for a cause that certainly didn’t justify you having to go on a date with a man almost forty years your senior, or galas for nearly-extinct sea creatures that were essentially used as an excuse to stand around and network while drinking expensive alcohol and eating hor d'oeuvres.

You seemed to find yourself at a lot of events like the latter, including the one you were standing at now. The gala, which took place in the art exhibit it was raising money for, was a rather standard one, filled with the typical suspects who regularly attended those events. 

It was slightly ironic to be at the event with Patrick as your plus one, as this was the exact type of event he would’ve texted you about an hour before it began to ask if you would play his concerned partner for the night who told everyone a flimsy excuse about him being under the weather. 

It also served as somewhat of a reminder to you of the massive growth that your friend had undergone since the two of you became legally bound to one another. It finally felt like Patrick saw you as a true friend, instead of a reliable person who would do his dirty work. It finally felt like he cared. In some ways, your marriage was the best thing to happen to your friendship. 

Patrick returned to where you were standing, this time with two flutes of champagne and a delicious looking appetizer in his hand. 

“You’re too kind,” you said as he passed you your drink. 

“Anything for my wife,” he mockingly bowed in front of you and you chuckled and shook your head. Over the past year, the two of you slowly became slightly more comfortable with referencing each other as husband and wife, but only really as a joke. You guessed that in a lot of ways, that’s what your marriage was—a ridiculous inside joke.  

He was just about to feed you a hor d'oeuvre when you were approached by a wildly unwelcome figure: the man who had purchased a date with you a few years ago. Despite your one very awkward, stilted date, he never really seemed to get over you–which he made a point to prove at every event you both happened to be at. And unfortunately for you, his generous donations landed him on the guest list for the majority of these events. 

You were used to fighting him off on your own, as he seemed to come and flirt with you regardless of how inappropriate it was for the setting of the event, or even when he already had a beautiful young bombshell hanging on his arm. At this point, you’d learned to just tune his every word out and flee as soon as you possibly could. He was annoying, but he wasn’t dangerous.  

“Hey, honey,” he greeted you way too comfortably. You’d given up on asking him to call you by your name a very long time ago. 

“Hi, John,” you reached out to shake his hand and cringed internally when he kissed the back of your hand. 

“Oh honey, who is this?” Patrick immediately lept in, surprising you with his unsubtle passive aggressive tone and ridiculous use of a pet name. 

“You don’t remember me? I swear, we’ve met a few times.” John asked, trying to smile despite clearly being agitated by the presence of competition.

“Some people are more forgettable than others,” he said with a shrug. “How do you know my wife?” He emphasized the word and you pushed down the small inkling of pride you were feeling. Whether it was from watching Patrick try to scare this annoying man away from you, or being so proudly referred to as his wife, you couldn’t be sure.  

“Finally settling down, eh?” he directed at you, then directed his next statement to Patrick. “We went on a date back in the day.”

“It was for that one date auction thing,” you quickly added context, but paused when you took in John’s less than pleased look. He was a large donor at your own family’s nonprofit, and you were sure that your parents wouldn’t be too pleased with you if they found out he pulled out over you hurting his feelings. “We had a lot of fun, though.”

“We definitely did,” he chuckled and smirked. You wanted to punch him in the mouth. “We should definitely do it again sometime.”

It was clear that Patrick was not taking kindly to seeing you be flirted with so brazenly in front of him. Part of you wondered why he would be possessive, since part of your initial deal was that you could see whoever you wanted, even if that happened to be a creepy old man with a lot of money. The other part of you was enjoying seeing him so fired up. Particularly, seeing him fired up over you. 

“Our schedule is just so busy. Between work and us trying to start a family, I just don’t know when we’ll have time to see you again.”

Trying to start a family? That was definitely news to you. Although, the idea didn’t sound awful. Wasn’t it everyone’s dream to start a family with their closest, most dear friend? 

“Well, she knows where to find me, right, honey?”

“Mhm,” you mumbled, looking into your glass like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

“Now if you don’t mind, my wife and I are going to go check out the exhibit,” Patrick announced, grabbing your hand and taking a step away from John. 

“You two have fun,” he said before clapping Patrick’s shoulder and leaning in to begin a stage whisper. “Make sure you treat her right and cherish her. If you don’t, I might have to swoop in and do so myself.”

He winked at you and you bit back a gag. 

“Don't you worry your wrinkly little head. Nobody lov- cherishes her more than I do,” he theatrically patted his back much like he’d initially done to him. “See you around.”

Did he almost say what you think he almost said? Surely you misheard him, or he was just playing up your relationship to scare away that creepy man. It really wasn’t anything to think twice about. 

Once the two of you had walked away far enough to be out of earshot, you finally addressed what had just happened. “Thank you, bodyguard. You don’t even know how much I despise that man.”

“He seems like he’s the worst,” he agreed with you, looking back over his shoulder. 

“That’s because he is,” you emphasized. “This is so random, but did you mean what you said earlier?”

Patrick suddenly paused, his face going pale like he’d just seen a ghost. You were a little confused by this reaction, as he’d said nothing to warrant that level of fear. 

“Do you actually want to start a family? Obviously not now, while you’re still playing tennis, but maybe eventually? I know we don’t have the most traditional marriage, but, I don’t know. Neither of us are getting any younger, and it might be fun to co-parent with my best friend,” you were clearly rambling now, but luckily, Patrick came in to rescue you for the second time that night. He looked far less aghast now. 

“I would love that,” he said to you with a genuine smile. You matched his with one of your own. 

———

“Do you have any big plans for retirement?” a reporter asked for the final question of the press conference. 

“Mostly just eating a lot of burgers. And maybe learning how to play pickleball,” Patrick responded, never one to give a serious answer to questions that weren’t explicitly about tennis. 

It was a ridiculous note to end on, but it felt right. You’d found that to be the case with most things in your life that pertained to him–most notably your marriage, which ended up being far more than you ever expected it to be.

After the press conference had come to a close, Patrick met you outside by the car, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, then leaning down to peck your baby bump. 

“How does it feel to be retired?” you asked, ruffling his hair while he was still bending down.

“It feels like you might divorce me,” he joked. Obviously your marriage deal was only meant to cover the time that he was still playing tennis, but after years of a complicated marriage that suddenly became significantly less complicated once you finally confronted the fact that the two of you very obviously loved each other, it seemed unlikely that your union would end any time soon. 

You glanced down at your baby bump, then back up to him skeptically.  “I hope you’re not being serious.”

“Come on, I never know with you. You’re the one who friendzoned me the entire first year of our marriage!” he exclaimed.

“That was a lifetime ago,” you countered before taking his hands in yours. “If you’re really worried, I have zero intentions of ending our marriage.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” he grinned, stepping away from you. “Let’s get going. I don’t want us to miss our reservation.”

You nodded and obliged, passing him the keys before heading to the passenger side of the car.

Once you sat down, you were overcome with the urge to say something. You had spent so much time bottling up and pressing down your own feelings, that it was now hard to resist letting things out when they came to you. 

“I’m so proud of you,” you blurted. “And I love you. So much.”

Patrick smiled at you genuinely, before his look turned into a slightly more devious one. “I love you so much, too. One might even say I love you more.” 

“Don’t even start with that,” you laughed, not in the mood to have the kind of back and forth with him that you had at least once a week. Considering that you were carrying his child, you were pretty sure that you were the winner of the love competition.  

“Fine. We love each other equally,” he conceded.

“That’s more like it.”

You tried to think back to one specific moment where your marriage had crossed over from being one of convenience, into a union with genuine feelings attached, and realized that you weren’t exactly sure. It could’ve been the first night you spent together, when you’d finally allowed yourself to consider what your relationship might look like beyond a simple friendship, or maybe it was even earlier than that, when you gazed into Patrick’s eyes as you read off your vows. The look of pure adoration he gave you was one that you had grown familiar with throughout the course of your marriage, but you hadn’t realized at the time just how genuine he had been. Or maybe even the moment Patrick asked you in the living room of your apartment, when you’d been the first person he thought of to carry out his ridiculous scheme, and you’d said yes despite every logical part of your brain that screamed at you to say no. 

Whenever it began didn’t particularly matter. What mattered now was that the two of you fully intended to spend the rest of your lives together. 

#patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig #patrick zweig x you #patrick zweig fic #patrick zweig imagine #art donaldson x reader #challengers #challengers fanfic #challengers fic #josh o'connor x reader

[sunflowerdigs]

It's funny - the scene with Marisol and Eddie playing happy family over ice cream was less believable to me than Eddie meeting Shannon's twin and sleeping with her. He's just decided that they don't know each other well enough to live together - but he's letting her get close to Christopher? What? But it paralleled the flashback scene where Eddie and Shannon were in bed (sex having always been their escape from reality), romanticizing what putting their family back together was going to be like ("Santa says mommy can come home!" Is the Easter Bunny going to comfort Chris when she leaves again?).

In both cases, Eddie is pulling these women closer in order to pull this picture perfect family back together. And this becomes especially apparent when the flashback to Shannon cuts and Eddie and Marisol are left sitting alone in this small, dark space, the vibe wildly different without Christopher there. They still have nothing to say to each other- this fact of their relationship hasn't changed since 7x05. Marisol is Kim - Eddie is playing out his dead relationship with Shannon with both women and he's going to be in for a rude awakening when reality hits - twice!

Old dreams die hard, specifically dreams that you come up with when you're young and naive and the world is full of possibility, dreams that you carry to war and that keep you going in brutal circumstances. More than Shannon herself, Eddie can't give up on what they were supposed to have.

Which makes it SO painfully ironic that Eddie's dream family is actually RIGHT THERE in front of him if he just reaches for it. The warm family scene in Buck's loft was such a deliberate contrast to both the flashback scene with Shannon and the second scene with Marisol. Shannon is dead and Eddie is just wasting time with his current gf - that's the cold, hard truth he's going to have to face soon. But it's also true that Eddie and Chris know Buck well enough to have pizza on the way when Buck's experimenting in the kitchen. And maybe that's how Eddie's dreams might still come true.

#buddie #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 abc

[gotham-daydreams]

Chapter 3 'Sneak Peak'/Teaser 2

This is more of a teaser above all else, and the only real 'sneak peak' part of it is just a small scene that happens in the chapter, but from a different POV. Regardless, I hop you enjoy this little look, and just like the last teaser- this is all a glimpse that won't really be shown in the final chapter when I post both parts. Though more emphasis on the "you won't really see this outside of this teaser" part.

Nevertheless, enjoy :]

-----

The moment you went into the diner, he took a moment longer to watch you walk inside before quickly realizing his phone was blowing up. So, reluctantly, he turned his intercom back on, and was swiftly met with a tidal wave of voices - most of which were shouting at him. Even if he couldn't blame them too much, that didn't make the experience any less annoying or loud. So, so loud.

He tried to explain himself and calm them down like he usually did, and it did kind of work - even if a few jabs and venomous words were thrown his way in the process. Again, he couldn't really blame them, but that didn't make things better. Not really, anyway. Their words hurt, sure, but hey, on the bright side - he was still with you. No matter what they said could change that, with a little bonus being that, deep down, you were the reason why all of them kept away too, and haven't interrupted your little get-together — since there was an untold but very present fear that he himself still felt when it came to you, and that being the possibility that you hated them. That anything they did now, would only worsen whatever image you already have of them, and if it was bad already - well, they’d have to work extra hard to repair things, wouldn't they?

It's not the potential work ahead that frightened them per say – more so the thought that they had pushed you so far away that you couldn't help but despise them. That you'd refuse to come back home and have them back into your life – refuse their effort and how they were now trying, even if it may have been a month or so too late – that you'd put an end to whatever they were hoping to have now, and refuse them at every turn simply out of spite and anger. Even if it made sense, and you have all the right to be mad, the thought and possibility didn't hurt any less. They didn't want you to hate them – no matter how reasonable that reaction would be – and most of all, they don't want to know that they've hurt you to such a point. He didn't, anyway, but he didn't want a lot of things when it came to you.

It's not that he didn't want to hear you out or be made aware of his faults - for crying out loud, he basically missed out on your entire life! Of course he's bound to have hurt you, and you're bound to be mad about it, he knew that even if he still didn't like the idea. If anything, a part of him did want to know so he knew where he had to really shine. So he knew what he really needed to get done and work on when it came to you, but that wasn't the point.

He never wanted to hurt you, never. None of them really did, but he especially – in his mind – didn't mean to. So, in a way, he was almost afraid to have to face that outcome.

It wasn't the anger he was afraid of, but the pain coupled with it, since he didn't know how bad it was - none of them did. Each of them only saw pieces, some more than others, and even if he stood here knowing that, he dreaded seeing the full weight of it.

There was more, he could feel it, and he hated that more than anything. He hated not knowing, but also feared what he'd find – even if there wasn’t much he could do about that. Despite himself and the feelings he and the rest of the family seemed to share, he knew that whatever they got – they deserved it. He already knew that this wouldn't exactly go smoothly, and despite it only being a few minutes – he could already feel it. The rockiness, the edge that seemed to hang in the air whenever you spoke, the unease you felt, and the nervousness coming from you was beyond evident.

Even if there was clearly a long way to go, he still couldn't help but… hope. Sure, it was wishful thinking, and honestly not very realistic, but he couldn't help himself. As much as it hurt looking at you, it made him soft, and untangled the most messy parts of himself. He couldn't explain why even if he tried, especially because he was only beginning to feel this now, but all he knew was that it felt… good, and made him regret not trying harder sooner.

He had a lot of regrets since he saw those things in your room and learned what he did, but as time passed and the night continued on, he found those regrets growing and becoming bigger. Though this wasn’t about him – of course it wasn’t, why would it be? – it was about you, they all knew that despite themselves, and all they wanted to do to make up for lost time.

Speaking of, the shouts never truly stopped. Sure, some died down and tried to get some information out of him, and even if he did say a few things here and there to give the impression that he was paying attention, most of what he learned he sort of… kept to himself. He just couldn’t help it. There was something so… special, so good that came with knowing more about you than the others. That came with being able to pick up on these little, small things about yourself that the others didn’t have the luxury of knowing just yet.

Maybe they’d learn eventually if things go smoothly, he knew that much, but at the moment he was more than willing to take in this rare moment and opportunity. The fleetingness of it only making it more enticing, and worthy of taking.

Yet, when one of them mentions you again, and asks how you’re doing – he can’t help but look back at you through the glass of the diner, but what he sees isn’t what he expects and he pauses.

You both hold your stares for a moment, and he ends up being the first to break it as he looks away, unable to take the sight any longer. He didn’t like that look in your eyes, the look you gave him – the look of untold worries and concerns that he knew dealt with him or were about him in some way. Granted, he couldn’t read your mind, but for a moment he wished he could. For that moment, he wishes he could take even the smallest peak into your thoughts just so that he knew what made you give him such a look. So that he knew what he could do to take away that conflict in your eyes and ease whatever worries you had – so that he could try to make things better.

He doesn’t know what he did wrong, but suddenly, just from that alone, he finds himself growing antsy. Even as he talks to the others over the comm link, he finds himself becoming subconscious of everything he’s done up until this point, trying to figure out what he did to make you wear such an expression. Even if it was just a little thing, he can’t help but worry over it, especially considering what he’s here to do. The voices of the family fall into the background with automatic, lame responses leaving him as he falls deeper and deeper into his own thoughts. He’s usually so confident and sure, but with you he’s a mess and is suddenly worrying over all of the little things he didn’t think of before. Did he act too soon? Should he have tried to be more patient? Sure he was worried at the time, but if this was the consequence of those actions then they weren’t worth it at all. God, he knew he should’ve been more-

Then, suddenly, you step out of the diner, and all is right with the world. His head empties, and without even thinking about it, he turns his comm link off once again.

It’s just as he thought earlier. You made him soft, and undid even the worst parts of himself.

With you, it’s like nothing else mattered, and that the past was far behind him.

Yet, he failed to realize that it was only that. A feeling and nothing more.

#yandere batfam #platonic yandere batfam #gn reader #yandere dc #platonic yandere #yandere x gn reader #yandere batfam x reader #yandere dc x reader

[theamberfist]

One Blind Mouse | Uncle Alastor + Reader

Familial! Alastor is Reader's Uncle

Description: One day after an overlord meeting, Alastor stumbles upon a giant demonic mouse that he soon realizes is his relative from life.

(Notes: CW Alastor, death, violence) (gender neutral reader) (Reader is Alastor's niece/nephew/whatever term you prefer) (Reader is blind) (Reader is a mouse sinner) (Pretend Alastor had a sister for the sake of this oneshot)

Words: 2,940

Alastor's ears perked at the familiar sound of screams that always seemed to accompany the streets of hell. He'd just stepped out of a surprisingly entertaining overlord meeting and now his high spirits lead him to take a walk down the road. 

This part of the city, being Carmilla Carmine's territory, was significantly less of a disaster compared to most of hell, and although he didn't enjoy the area nearly as much as some others- such as Rosie's Cannibal Town- it was still a pleasurable enough experience. As he walked, he calmly held his microphone-cane behind his back and took in all the sights.

Most of it was nothing out of the ordinary; sinners running in fear at the mere sight of him, remnants of bloody fights and brawls, as well as a few trashed buildings and alleyways the overlord expected Carmilla to be very unhappy about. 

Alastor sighed. If there was one thing he both loved and hated about hell it was that every day tended to be just the same. Territory disputes, murders that were ultimately never permanent, and newly-killed human souls ending up fearful and disoriented as they randomly appeared throughout hell were all nothing he hadn't seen before. In his time living down here, he'd come to place great value on entertainment and breaks from normality. At the very least, they made afterlife in hell a little more fun.

It was because of this he considered summoning Husk or even Nifty to liven things up. That was what he normally did when he lacked any other form of entertainment, but before he could even decide which to rip from their normal lives, a new sound reached his ears that suddenly caught his attention.

It was almost akin to a roar; something he would have expected to hear from a lion or even a dinosaur if they were more common forms for sinners to take on. Glancing up, he now realized the sound had come from just a few blocks away, where a giant figure towered over some of the nearby buildings. 

It looked like a huge...rat? That was the best way Alastor could describe the entity; with glowing grey eyes, demonic markings, and surprisingly sharp claws and teeth. The rat was ripping apart the nearby buildings as sinners screamed and tried to run away, which made the Radio Demon's ever-present smile widen. It seemed he'd found some entertainment at last. 

So of course, he made his way towards where the rat was towering over buildings; realizing it was right on the edge of Carmilla's territory; approaching that of the V's. He hadn't even realized he'd been so close to their space but it hardly mattered now. While he'd at first assumed the rat's goal to be complete destruction simply for the sake of discussion, that didn't seem to be the case now that he observed them. 

They were ignoring most of the frightened sinners around them; aside from a few that happened to scream extra loud as they ran. Instead, their focus was more towards the nearest building; a TV store in which every single piece of merchandise had a different channel playing at once that made for quite an obnoxious display of sound. Even Alastor wanted to cover his ears, not stopping the giant rat sinner as they tore the place apart sloppily. 

He continued watching the scene for a few more moments until a car finally showed up nearby and a tech-related sinner stepped out with a frightened look on her face. Alastor recognized her as one of Vox's employees from back when they'd still been friends, though he was surprised the TV producer hadn't fired her yet with his poor track record of employees. 

Once out of the car, she approached the giant rat cautiously; as if unsure of how to handle the situation. 

"E-excuse me?" The sinner called, though the rat ignored her, "I demand you stop! This store is property of Vox Tech and you're going to have to pay for any damages you cause!" Alastor's smile only widened now, curious to see whether this seemingly out-of-control sinner would even acknowledge the tech demon or if they'd just continue to go about their destruction. If his employee couldn't handle things, perhaps Vox would even come all the way down here himself, and wouldn't that be a treat to watch? 

As expected, the rat ignored her as they crushed another giant flat-screen TV between their claws. The Vox Tech employee seemed almost offended as she came closer to them. 

"How dare you?!" She exclaimed louder now; taking on a more demonic form that was indicative of her anger, "Have you no respect for the art of television?!" This seemed to finally get the rat's attention because they paused, dropping the shattered TV and turning to face her as they gazed down.

"Art?" They repeated, their voice coated with that demonic tone one became accustomed to hearing while in hell. Alastor raised an eyebrow at the realization that this was not their regular form, wondering what they could have originally looked like but not saying anything just yet. "You call this art?!"

The rat grabbed another TV and threw it at the tech demon, nearly crushing her under its weight if she hadn't gotten out of the way in time. "This is pathetic!" 

Alastor had to agree there. Television had always been a lesser form of media to him, and it seemed this other sinner understood that too. Perhaps when they calmed down the two of them would get along.

Though, there was another part of him that took note of how familiar this particular was...

The rat grabbed two more TV screens and crushed them in either hand now; snarling. "Don't pretend to know anything about art if you support him!" Alastor knew without needing to ask that they were referring to Vox, which made his smile widen even more. It seemed he really would get along with this rat. Though, the more he listened to them speak, the more it felt like he should recognize that voice.

"Don't make me tell you again! Unhand our property!" The tech demon tried, though she was shaking as the giant rat stared her down. 

"No." The rat replied before tossing another TV at her. This time, it managed to hit her and she was knocked back into the nearby wall. It seemed the impact was enough to kill her, too, because her body finally went limp. Alastor knew she wouldn't be dead for long before regenerating but it had done the job for now, anyway. 

It seemed the only one that didn't realize that was the rat because they reached for another blaring TV and tossed it in the direction of the now-dead sinner again. Then they grabbed another and did the same before repeating the act again and again until every last screen had been destroyed. 

It was only then that the Radio Demon realized what was going on as he watched the giant rat feel around the destroyed store for any more Vox Tech Products; they were blind. 

They couldn't actually see the tech demon when she'd shown up; they'd only known where to throw the TV based on where they'd heard her voice. They'd been sloppily feeling around and grabbing TV's earlier because they could hear the obnoxious sounds coming from them, and they'd only killed the extra loud sinners because they could hear where they were.

How interesting, Alastor thought as he watched the rat's shoulders rise and fall as they caught their breath. They were far from the first blind person he'd met but they were the first one he'd run into in hell thus far. Based on the display he'd just witnessed though, they were doing just fine down here despite not having sight. He was about to step forward and introduce himself when a peculiar sight stopped him.

The rat, which had been giant just a moment ago, was now shrinking in size before his very eyes. They went from being taller than the nearby building to becoming so small he couldn't even see them from where he stood anymore. 

Curious, he stepped forward, realizing they'd shrunk to the size of a mouse. And, in fact, it seemed that that was exactly what they were; not a rat, like he'd presumed earlier. Like most sinners in hell, they still possessed human qualities, but the big mouse ears on their head and the tail made it apparent which animal they were meant to resemble. 

Amusement shined in the Radio Demon's eyes now as he continued observing the little creature. This tiny mouse had done all that damage just moments ago; leaving one of Vox's stores in complete ruin. He never would have expected them to possess that kind of strength based on how they looked, but it made him all the more curious of their motive as he now approached them.

"Well, hell there!" He called. Immediately, the mouse jumped in surprise and reached for their ears as if they were in pain. "My, that was quite a display!" He went on, ignoring their clear shock, "May I ask what might have prompted it?"

There was a long pause as the tiny sinner regarded him, now bent at the waist so that his face was a little closer to their eye level. For a second he wondered if they really were capable of speaking or if he'd simply imagined it earlier, but then they shouted.

"Uncle Al?!" Their voice, which had lost its demonic edge and returned to normal now, suddenly sounded so familiar that it felt as if the Radio Demon had been hit by a truck. How had he not recognized you before? What other little demon could have casually caused so much destruction to a TV store than his own niece/nephew/etc? 

"Why, is that you, my little mouse?" He asked with a grin so wide it nearly hurt. You nodded eagerly, immediately running up to hug him. You were so small, though, that you could really only latch onto his ankle. 

"It is, Uncle!" You replied, only now realizing how ironic his old nickname for you had turned out to be. You'd known the second you'd heard his voice that it was your favorite family member and finding him again like this couldn't have made you happier. Alastor chuckled, kneeling and placing a hand beside your little body on the ground. Once you felt it beside you, you immediately climbed on and then he carefully held you up so that you were closer to his eye-level. 

"And here I'd thought you ended up in heaven!" He told you, though his tone only held amusement. Your presence had always been enjoyable to him; ever since you were a baby. When he'd died, he'd been surprised to find he actually missed the nights when he used to have to come over and babysit you for his dear little sister's sake. 

"Nope," you told him, "But I'm pretty sure mama is there! I've been alone down here for years." The Radio Demon nodded at that. Like their mother, he'd had no doubt his sister had gone to heaven. Your presence in hell was a surprise, but with how mischievous you'd been as a child, it made some sense, even if he hadn't gotten to see how you turned out when you grew up. 

"It must have been quite lonely being by yourself." He replied as he brought you to his coat pocket now. You felt around the area before seemingly deciding it was acceptable and getting comfortable within the fabric. 

"And loud." You nodded. Alastor didn't doubt that; you'd had great hearing even when you were alive, so he imagined those big mouse ears made it even more amplified now. "I hate television."

"I agree with you there!" Alastor replied as he began walking back down the street with you safely tucked into his pocket now. "Especially since the whole point of it is to see the pictures, isn't it?" You nodded, crossing your arms in disdain. "At least radio is tasteful." In life, you'd always loved tuning into your uncle's nightly broadcasts. No matter what you and your mother had been doing at the time, you'd always made her take you home to hear them. Alastor nodded in amusement now. 

"Uncle Al, where are we going anyway?" You asked suddenly.

"Well, I do still have a broadcast to run!" The Radio Demon replied, "I'm sure the citizens of hell will want to hear about that giant mouse causing so much destruction earlier." You giggled and got a little more comfortable in the demon's pocket. "Now, while we talk, do tell me more about those demonic powers of yours?" The fact that you possessed the ability to grow and shrink between more and less terrifying forms just like he did was certainly not lost on him, and nor was the possibility of capitalizing on those powers with the potential of you two taking over hell as family. 

♡ After that you're almost always found in Alastor's pocket whenever he goes anywhere

♡ Sometimes you like to hide in his pocket and then pop up at random times, which he used to scare some of the hotel guests after the first found you

♡ You go into your demon form whenever you get angry, which usually happens when you're surrounded by way too many loud noises at once and get overwhelmed

♡ Alastor thought it was entertaining at first but after the third time you broke his coat pocket by transforming while he was literally carrying you around, he invested in some cute little earmuffs to prevent it

♡ Everybody at the hotel thought you were adorable once they got past the initial shock of A) Alastor having a niece/nephew/etc and B) the fact that you'd popped out of his pocket and startled them

♡ Vaggie lets you ride on her hair bow sometimes and Charlie absolutely loves to pet your mouse ears (she's very gentle but sometimes gets too excited and Alastor has to pull you away from her)

♡ You were terrified of Husk at first because he's a cat and Alastor, always looking for entertainment, did nothing to help with that fear

♡ So for a while every time you would be near Husk he would have to be super careful not to scare you and make you go into demon form

♡ That was until you realized who you really had to be afraid of; Nifty

♡ She associates mice with uncleanliness so she tried to stab you many times at first. Alastor never let her actually succeed but he did enjoy watching her chase you around the hotel for the first week

♡ That was how you got over your fear of Husk because he would sometimes let you hide behind the bar in between the bottles of wine. He even fed you a piece of cheese once and you were sold on him after that

♡ Eventually though, a solution was reached with Nifty when Charlie suggested they dress you in nice clothes (A red striped suit like Alastor's or a dress version of his outfit, fitted for your tiny self) in order to give the cyclops a visibly difference between you and the actual vermin she was supposed to kill 

♡ That worked well but you're still too scared to go near Nifty most of the time

♡ Sir Pentious dubbed you an honorary egg because you were close to them in size and he thought you were just so cute. He got you a little hat like the ones they wear and would even let you ride atop his hat (kind of like Alice with the Mad Hatter in the live action Alice in Wonderland)

 ♡ Angel Dust also loves you and one of the first things he did was introduce you to Fat Nuggets, whom you adored

♡ Sometimes you ride Nuggets around the hotel like a horse since you're the perfect size for it and Angel has many photos on his phone of the two of you being absolutely adorable

♡ Despite how he may seem, Alastor can be a very protective uncle. Since you've come to the hotel, he makes sure everyone keeps their volume down most of the time so as not to bother your sensitive ears. If anyone so much as raises their voice in your presence they're met with his sadistic expression and radio dial eyes as a warning

♡ No one is allowed to watch TV when you're around either; he doesn't care that English Descriptive Audio exists he just doesn't want you to feel sad that you can't have a normal experience like everyone else because that used to get to really you when you were a kid 

♡ Since you're always in his pocket, you've met most of the other overlords at meetings and things

♡ Rosie adores you and every time she meets with Alastor she brings along a new mouse-sized outfit she sewed for you as a gift. You have a whole wardrobe of tasteful clothes made by her now

♡ Zestial and Carmilla think you're cute but won't ever admit it. They just smile whenever you pop out of Alastor's pocket during a meeting; wanting to see what they're all talking about

♡ You did meet Vox once because Alastor ran into him on the street

♡ That went about as well as expected and you turned into your demon form due to his loudness and the fact that he insulted your uncle

♡ You and Alastor took turns beating Vox up that day 

#gender neutral reader #reader insert #gender neutral y/n #gender neutral #fanfic #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #platonic hazbin hotel #alastor x child readeer #alastor #platonic x reader #platonic relationships #platonic alastor x reader #alastor x child reader #child reader #niece reader #nephew reader #alastor x niece reader #alastor x nephew reader #dadastor #platonic reader

[hometoursandotherstuff]

This 1968 home in Rochester, NY has everything from stupid photoshopped decor to some "interesting" features. But, the 3bd, 3ba home is only $299,900. Take a look at it.

Well, I must say that the living room has lots of shelving options. Plus, a window to the kitchen.

I don't know why I hate those dated oak cabinets so much, but I do. I guess b/c you see them everywhere- they were surely the ultimate style at one time, and they're practically indestructible.

This is cool, though, a floating table. It really looks like it's levitating.

Bring all your tchotchkes, b/c this house has mad shelving. The family room.

A bar off the family room. Looks like it has new carpet, but it's so light, and this is an entertaining area. Shoes come off at the door.

Nice built-in office with shelving galore and a tilted window.

Bath even has a shelf for stuff.

Thru the wizardry of Photoshop, the agent staged the pit as a beach scene. I really don't know what this room is, either, but it's kind of nice.

Apparently, it's a rec room.

A lot going on here- exercise equipment, sauna, tanning bed, steps up to a sunken tub, and what looks like a small door, but it's probably a window w/a handle to hold onto. Either way, it's weird.

If you think that's weird, check out the design of the built-in bed.

Steps. This house is so funky, the more you look, the more you see. Don't you just love it? Looks like a built-in desk in that corner on the right.

Check out the walk-in closet.

This shower room is kinda tight, but there's room for some shelving.

Bd. #2 features a window seat and a niche.

Bd. #3 has built-in recessed shelving in lieu of a headboard.

Look at this attic room- more built-in shelving and a large trap door- more storage.

Is that a cooktop? This is cool.

Shaded .28 acre lot. At the end of the day, this house is fun and funky for less than $300K. But, the median price for a home in Rochester, NY is $179.9K.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/466-True-Hickory-Dr-Rochester-NY-14615/30950833_zpid/

#mid century modern homes #MCM architecture #houses #house tours #home tour #homes under $300K

[beomiracles]

「 CRIMINAL CONSCIENCE 」

SYNOPSIS moving rapidly through your career as one of the leading female investigators, you never once encountered a case you couldn't crack. though you never expected for your past mistakes to come back and haunt you in the form of an ex lover, accused of murder.

wc -> 4.2k

pairings criminal!beomgyu x investigator!reader warnings for tape 03 descriptions of crime scene, mentioned character death, a lot of blood, mentions of sexual themes.

GENERAL WARNINGS ─ this story contains dark themes, portraying unhealthy and toxic relationships as well as substance abuse. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.

✎ NOTE, this story is partly told in flashbacks. beware of time stamps as present and past is mixed throughout the story.

the tape recordings

tape 03 ─ call me please

April 9th 2022 

“So what’s been keeping you from me these past weeks?” Kayla questions as she takes a sip of her coffee. You kept your gaze downcast, focused on your own mug as you watched the warm liquid float around. Your friend had been persistent about meeting up and you had avoided every set date. 

You give her a small smile, “it’s just been a lot of coursework.” While your statement was true, it failed to mention how much of said coursework had involved Choi Beomgyu. Not wanting to admit that you had ditched your friend for weeks, only to meet up with a man you had known less than a month, if ‘know’ was even the right word to use.

When you and Beomgyu met up it would always lead to sex. Sometimes having sex was the only thing you did. No matter it would always happen the same way, Beomgyu would send you an address along with a set time. And for each occurrence he used a different number, and each time you were unable to send a message back, your job was simply to show up. 

It would usually be at a club but sometimes he would send a hotel address and a room number. When you got there it wouldn’t take long until Beomgyu’s hands had wandered down whatever skimpy dress you were wearing. Last night had been no different as he pulled out and flopped down on the bed next to you, the sounds of your heavy breaths filling the dark room. 

An arm around your waist pulls you closer and as you rest your head against his chest, feeling the way it rises and falls, you close your eyes. It’s eerily quiet and if it weren’t for the rhythmic pattern of Beomgyu’s fingers drew on your hip, you would have assumed him to be asleep already. You were usually one to pass out quickly after sex, but today was different. The underlying questions that had been prodding at your mind for the past weeks suddenly resurfaced. You had tried to push them away, to disregard them, mostly in fear of ruining whatever you had with Beomgyu. It felt fragile, as if one misstep would break it into a million pieces. 

Tonight, that seemed impossible. And after just orgasming, the aftermath of sex still lingering in the air, you found new confidence. “Why won’t you give me your number?” Suddenly your quiet words seem deafening as Beomgyu remains silent next to you. Had you really overstepped? But it was a reasonable question, you guys were seeing each other right? So it would only make sense for you to have his number. 

“Don’t got one”, Beomgyu’s voice echoes out, breaking the short silence that had erupted. “What do you mean ‘you don’t got one’?” you ask as you glance toward where his face would be, unable to make out his expression in the dark. “Means I don’t got one”, he shrugs. 

“How am I supposed to contact you then?” you frown and Beomgyu sighs, “you’re not.” Oh. Biting your lip, his words linger in the once lust-filled air. It was then you realized that your relationship with Beomgyu was nothing more than casual, a mutual exchange of pleasure. The realization left you feeling almost melancholic as you stared up at the ceiling of the hotel room. 

Beneath you, Beomgyu shifts as he climbs out of bed. He doesn’t turn on the light but you hear him pulling his clothes back on. He presses a kiss to your forehead, “I’ll text you”, and with that he was gone. That was the first time he left before you fell asleep. 

A few days went by and you didn’t hear from Beomgyu, at all. And as a week had passed, you were starting to think that perhaps you never would. Oh but you were dead wrong. You were halfway through your morning lecture when you got his notification, a new number, a new location, a new time. The relief that immediately filled your senses should have been concerning. It was almost like you had become addicted, everytime a new address flashed on your screen you knew that you would be getting your next fix. Yet you push the thought away, quickly shoving your phone in your back pocket and turning your attention back toward the board, anticipation flowing through your veins. 

After class you hurriedly gather your things, unable to contain yourself for the night ahead. Walking with long and determined strides, not bothering to stop and converse with your professor as you otherwise would’ve. Pushing your way past other students and out on the parking lot, it is not until you reach your car that a light tap on your shoulder rips you from your trance. Spinning around on the spot you’re met with your classmate, “shit, you walk fast”, he pants as he braces his hands on his thighs, catching his breath. 

“Sorry Won, I didn’t realize you wanted to talk to me”, you quickly apologize. Your classmate shakes his head, a grin spreading across his face. Won was perhaps the only friend you had made during your time spent studying criminal justice. The two of you would often partner up for group projects, this time around was no different. 

“I was wondering if you’re free tonight, for the project you know…”, Won scratches the back of his head as he shyly glances between the ground and you. Biting the inside of your cheek you recall why you had been in such a rush from the beginning. You were supposed to meet Beomgyu tonight. 

But was it such a good idea to put your own pleasure over your important studies. Beomgyu had seemingly little care for your own schedule and you should let him know that you can’t always come running when he calls. Besides, Won had actually asked you rather than sending a location and a time expecting you to oblige. Perhaps this was exactly what you needed, a little distraction. 

“If you’re not free that’s totally okay we can just resched–”, “how about 6.30?” you propose and your classmate’s face immediately brightens up as he nods. “My place?” he asks, “sure.” You would have to find a way to inform Beomgyu that you wouldn’t be meeting him, one way or another. 

Your afternoon was spent cleaning tables at work. The part time hours you did at the small family owned restaurant certainly didn’t pay a lot, but it was enough to cover any expenses as you studied. Having hit off with the owner’s son, you usually found yourself staying for dinner or even getting sent leftovers from the day with you home. You were incredibly grateful for their kindness and always made sure to work hard in order to repay them. 

It was nearing the end of your shift and as you cleared the last table, the doorbell chimed, announcing new customers. Instinctively you turn to greet them -– only to freeze in your tracks. Before you stood a small crowd of men, no more than five, all clad in darker shades, some even wearing sunglasses despite it being early spring. The man at the front caught your eye as you immediately recognized him. Heart leaping to your throat, you’re unable to form a single coherent thought. 

“You got any tables for five?” Duri asks, his voice a deep and booming one, nothing like the playful and almost flirtatious one he had held all those weeks ago. Nodding, you try your best to swallow the lump in your throat. “This way”, you manage to squeak out as you guide the men through the fairly empty restaurant. Your mind races with questions — and when you seat them by their table, you feel no closer to answering any of them. 

Upon handing them the menu, your gaze keeps finding its way back to Duri. He had yet to show any signs of recognition and you were starting to think that perhaps he hadn’t recognized you at all. Though as the group place their orders his eyes lock onto yours and you know that you’re done for. He remains quiet as you scramble to write down their requests, and when you meekly ask him what he would like he simply smirks, “surprise me”. 

It isn’t until the kitchen doors close behind you that you allow yourself to breathe out the tension building up in your lungs. What were the odds? Of all the restaurants, why did he have to pick the one you were working at. What kind of business did people like them even have here? Maybe you were being harsh, perhaps all they wanted was a warm meal. 

And if Duri recognized you — why didn’t he say something? He had undoubtedly stared at you for longer than what’s normally appropriate. Then an idea enters your mind. Perhaps there was a way to contact Beomgyu after all. 

When bringing their plates to the table, you make sure to place Duri’s last. Along with the plate you squeeze in a small folded note, going unnoticed by everyone except him. Pulling the note with his index and middle finger he gives you a questioning glance to which you subtly shake your head, you desperately hoped he would take the hint and open it in private. A small smirk tugs at his lips but the note gets stuffed in one of his pockets, you breathe out a sigh of relief. 

Giving a quick bow you mumble out a quiet “enjoy”, before turning on your heel as you scurry toward the kitchen once more. The same dark booming voice causes your steps to stutter, “thanks for the food, dollface”. You gulp. 

Takeout boxes and empty bottles of soju lay discarded on the small coffee table in Won’s living room. Perched up on the sofa, you and your classmate had been engrossed in your schoolwork for the past hours. Time seemed to have little concept when spent in the presence of Won and you found yourself having a lot more fun than you’d initially imagined. 

You had been assigned to try and solve one of the many unsolved cases of your city, only being able to use the little evidence found as well as a few tape recordings that Won had dug up. “Doesn’t the ex boyfriend sound suspicious here?” your classmate inquires as he increases the volume on his laptop. You lean forward as you listen to the piece of audio. 

“Dunno”, you shrug, “he sounds just like you”. Won snorts, “as if”, though he’s unable to refrain from grinning as he sees you giggle. “We haven’t played that one yet”, you point toward another file and your partner nods as he moves to play the recording, “promise you won’t get scared?” he teases to which you give his shoulder a push. 

Despite having a good time with your classmate, your subconscious kept wandering back to Beomgyu. He had occupied your mind for weeks now, holding your thoughts hostage and refraining you from focusing on what actually mattered in your life. After slipping Duri that note, you could only hope that he would receive the news of your changed plans. Would he be angry with you? Maybe he won’t continue to see you at all. 

Not being able to directly contact him gnawed at you — wanting nothing more than to dial a number and hear his voice on the other side of the line. In some ways it was perhaps a good thing, you don’t know if you would’ve been able to stop yourself from texting him, and then texting him again and again when he didn’t reply. Yet you felt completely powerless like this, as if he was holding all the strings and you simply danced along to them, just like he wanted to. 

Another part of you felt jealous. What if he had called someone else, surely you weren’t the only woman he saw, but you were still special. He never saw those other girls again, they were temporary, so you told yourself. But not you, you weren’t temporary, you weren’t just someone he would let go of, you were someone he would call for, over and over again, you were better than those girls. 

February 20th — PRESENT TIME 

The sounds of car doors slamming shut filled the small alleway. As you step out, the distinctive smell of sewage water invades your senses. Yeonjun’s nose scrunches up in disgust as he steps out beside you. “Fucking christ”, he mumbles as he pinches the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses further up in the process. 

The scene before you was nothing out of the ordinary, a small apartment complex that looked fairly rundown; in which you assumed the rents stayed on the cheaper end. You didn’t have to ask what kind of people lived here, you were all too familiar with the setting. Perhaps it was why you felt comfortable with taking the lead as you and Yeonjun made your way up the small stone-staircase. 

Had it not been for the bright yellow tape covering the door, reading out ‘CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS’ you probably would have missed it. Pushing said tape aside you unlock the old wooden door with the keys you had been provided. It made a squeaking noise as it revealed the small flat. 

The sewage smell had only been a foretaste of what was to come; and as the smell of dried up blood hit, you almost wanted to gag. It was dark inside the apartment, the windows had been covered up to prevent any unwanted attention to the scene. In turn the air had become humid due to how confined the flat had been, it only increased the sickly sweet odor of human blood.

Behind you, Yeonjun brings out a flashlight and you mimic his actions. Something about crime scenes made you feel melancholic, whatever scene you currently witnessed had been the last thing someone else ever had. This was the place where someone had taken their last breath, preserved and frozen in time. 

You make your way through the messy hallway in silence, it leads out to a living room. Chaos had spread through the apartment and instead of stumbling across a huge pool of blood, you find that it’s everywhere. On the coffee table, staining the couch, the floors, the walls, leading out to the kitchen and into the bedroom. 

“They fought”, Yeonjun comments as he squats down by the sofa. Multiple pillows had been torn and the couch itself had dents where a knife would have hit. “He seems to have put up a hell of a fight”, you mumble as you gaze along the bloody handprints across the lower walls. “Indeed”, your senior agrees as he gets up to stand next to you. 

“They started in the kitchen”, he then states and you follow him inside the small room. “How do you know?” you question and Yeonjun pulls out a piece of plastic from his bag. A bloody knife, and it’s… “a kitchen knife”, your colleague beats you to it. “Whoever killed Park Baekhyun tried to do it with this knife, which they got from here.” 

Yeonjun then motions toward the small kitchen, “besides, this room is a lot less blood stained than the living room; means the fight most likely erupted here and then progressed into the next room as the victim tried to flee.” As you take in the state of the kitchen you realize that he’s right. While it was certainly messy, the sink having a pile of unwashed dishes as well as old takeout boxes, the rest of the room showed no signs of direct trauma. 

Following Yeonjun back into the living room, he continues to piece together the events that most likely took place. “The victim used pillows to defend himself”, your colleague motions toward the ripped cotton. He then frowns, “he got hit, and badly”, your gaze follows the heavy trail of blood leading toward the bedroom. “It’s strange”, Yeonjun mutters under his breath and you glance toward him, “what is?”. 

He motions toward the handprints covering the lower walls, “he couldn’t walk”. You didn’t understand what significance it held, so what if he couldn’t walk? He was bound to die either way. But your senior could seemingly tell a lot more from the situation. You liked working with Yeonjun, there was still a lot you had to learn and he was good at giving examples. 

As you walk toward the bedroom he says, “the autopsy showed a wound on his right leg, presuming that was the reason he couldn’t walk he would have to have been crawling, using the walls to pull himself forward. In such a vulnerable position the offender would have a great view of his neck, yet he didn’t kill him here”. 

You frown as a puzzled look presents itself on your face, why not kill him if he had the opportunity to, why drag it out? Unless… “he enjoyed the hunt”, Yeonjun seems to have read your mind. He stops by the doorway before casting a glance toward the front door, “but why aim for the bedroom and not the way out?”. 

“Could there be something important in here?” you ask and your senior nods, “perhaps”. The bedroom remains untouched, almost neat if not for the unmade bed and dirty laundry. Though the struggle of Park Baekhyun remains evident on the floor, blood dragging around the bed and leading toward the joint bathroom. What was in the bathroom?

The smell of blood was probably the worst in the small tiled room. Once a pearly white, now covered in red. As soon as you stepped inside you knew, this was the room the victim had taken his last breath in. The mirror, broken into a million pieces which lay scattered across the floor like pieces of an unsolved puzzle. The sink had several cracks in it, possibly from banging someone’s head against it. 

Worst was the bathtub, filled to the brim with red water. The shower curtains were ripped off their hangers, likely a panicked response or one out of pure rage. Bloody hand and finger prints adorned the edge of the tub. Yeonjun sighs next to you, “victim’s cause of death was drowning”, he nods toward the bathtub and you feel your heart sink. Because it suddenly hits you, this could all be Beomgyu’s doing. 

At first it had felt surreal, seeing him after ten months, finding out that he was the prime suspect of this case. Yet you had somehow managed to play down the whole thing. A small part of you had denied, no refused to believe that the man you thought you loved could have done something like this. But as you see the blood, the way the victim had clung to life until the very end, the knife, the tub, Beomgyu. 

Beomgyu had actually killed someone. 

He had killed someone and he felt no remorse. You had watched the grin playing on his lips when you read the case files, you had heard the smugness in his voice. He was proud of what he had done. You felt sick, suddenly the smell of blood seemed to be almost burning, clasping a hand over your mouth, you stumble out of the bathroom. 

You hurriedly make your way through the bedroom, somewhere behind you you can hear Yeonjun calling for you. Aiming for the front door you push it open, it’s not until you’re outside, breathing in the filthy sewage air that you can finally see clearly again. Yeonjun is by your side in a matter of seconds as he grabs ahold of your shoulders. 

“Shit, you okay?” he asks and you shake your head. Bracing your hands on your knees, you keep your head down as you try and steady your breathing. “I… I don’t think I can do this.” 

April 17th 2022 

You ended up staying over at Won’s place that night, and as the next morning rolled around you carpooled to school. Thanks to his cheerful and charismatic personality Won easily got your mind off things as the two of you chatted all the way to class. Your studies itself also proved to be a great distraction whilst you listened to the professor talk. 9am quickly turned to 12pm and before you knew it you walked out the large lecture hall. 

Clutching your bag to your chest, your eyes scan for Kayla who was supposed to pick you up. In typical Kayla fashion she was probably running late. Deciding to just wait her out, you walk over to one of the many benches surrounding the parking lot. Sitting down, you pull up your phone to try and reach your friend when someone takes the seat next to you. You don’t have to turn your head to know who it is, for the ring clad hands that intertwine over his lap tells you everything you need to know. 

Beomgyu quietly hums next to you and you feel your blood go cold. He doesn’t say anything and you do not dare break the silence. How did he know what university you went to — and why was he here? Beomgyu never asked to meet unless he wanted something, and you had never seen him like this, outside, and in broad daylight. It terrified you. 

You sneak a glance in his direction. Dressed in all shades dark, so nothing out of the ordinary really, he gazes ahead as he watches your classmates pass. You’re unable to read the expression on his face, he doesn’t appear angry yet he looks far from content. Did he not get your message? Was that why he was here – or did he get it, and was that why he was here? 

Biting your bottom lip you glance down toward your bag. Five minutes had surely passed when he finally broke the silence, “criminal justice?” he asks and you give a meek nod. “I uh, I want to become an investigator..” you mumble, suddenly feeling shy over your dreams and aspirations. 

Beomgyu huffs next to you as he leans forward, “I’m sure you’ll make a great little detective, dollface”. You couldn’t tell if he was being genuine or not, you decided not to ask. Instead you fiddle with the charm on your keychain as you await his next words. A small part of you worried that Kayla would show up, she would be mortified if she saw you with the man she had made you promise to stay away from. 

“What made you busy yesterday?” he asks and you suddenly remember your last conversation, which had ended with him leaving earlier than usual. Letting go of your bottom lip, you give him a quick glance, “school project”, you murmur, choosing to leave Won out of it. 

“Studies are important”, Beomgyu hums. You look at him and with your heart in your throat you will yourself to ask the question that had been gnawing at you since yesterday afternoon. “Did you…get my message?” your voice is but a mere whisper and as soon as the words leave your lips you want to swallow them again. 

Beomgyu’s expression flashes with something you can’t place, fury? He sighs, “thought I told you not to acquaint yourself with Duri”. His voice is stern, you felt almost like a little kid getting scolded. Naturally your gaze returns to your bag and you gulp, “yes but I…I had no other way to contact you..” 

“And you shouldn’t”, he says. Suddenly your conversation begins to feel much like your previous one, and you didn’t like it. The fear of him walking off on you once more was too much to bear, perhaps it was said fear that made you turn completely in your seat to fully look at him, causing Beomgyu to turn his head in your direction. “But that’s unfair”, you say, despite your greatest efforts your words come out as a whine. 

“How am I supposed to just be available, what if something comes up, like yesterday, how would you know?” Beomgyu raises a brow as he looks at you, you can’t tell if he’s considering your words or not but he soon smirks. “If you’re not available then you’re not”, he shrugs and you frown, “but what about you? what if you wait for me and I don’t show up”. He shakes his head, “you worry ‘bout yourself, dollface”. 

Your lips part in objection but your words fall short as you realize what he’d probably meant. Oh. Worry about yourself? He probably didn’t have to wait long for another girl to come along if you were unavailable. How stupid of you not to realize that sooner. Now you just looked like an idiot for trying to tell him that you couldn't make it when he already had a line of others waiting on him. 

You bite your lip as you avoid his gaze, wanting to be anywhere but in front of him right now; wishing for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Beomgyu solves that problem for you as he gets up. This was it, he was leaving you again, and there was nothing you could do to stop him. 

He’s made it halfway across the parking lot when he turns to look at you, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, “you comin’ or not, dollface?” 

end of tape 03

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#txt #txt fanfic #txt post #choi beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomiracles ₊˚⊹ ᰔ #criminal conscience beomiracles #criminal au #beomgyu

[cowgirleddiediaz]

I honest to god don't know where the confidence that buddie is happening soon is coming from. (Soon is the key word)

Bc in all the scenes we had none of them was Eddie jealous or unhappy or even pausing for a sec to think about it.

Like the hospital scene, which I was expecting a hint or some kind of a realization after witnessing the evidence of buck kissing tommy, like eddie's brain had to go through the thought process of buck kissing tommy, a man, to make sense of what he was seeing, and STILL that didn't provoke any kind of reaction but happiness for his friend.

my thinking was that if there was some planned underlying b*ddie thread to this whole thing, we'd know by 7.06, there'd be some clear indication that eddie wasn't happy or was jealous of their relationship or having some kind of realisation.

also, in hindsight i think a lot of the b*ddie moments early on were less about foreshadowing some kind of love triangle and more about solidifying buck's place in the diaz family dynamic as a way to signal that tommy isn't a threat to that bond in its current (platonic) form.

feels like from now on anytime buck and eddie so much as express an emotion in front of each other that will be used as proof b*ddie canon is just around the corner. It's very telling that after each one of their theories is disproven rather than step back and question if they could be wrong, the goal post just gets moved.

#911 abc #bucktommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard #antibuddie #tevan #kinley #911 discourse #dia answers stuff

[entropyvoid]

So anyway my hot take about the bit where Sunday is taking you on a guided tour through a dramatic play about the history of Penacony is that the confusion of him narrating over the story so you can’t parse what’s goin on is that it’s actually an EXCELLENT creative choice in interactive storytelling actually, because that whole scene isn’t really about Penacony’s past, present, or future, it’s about cult programming. Sunday’s goal is not for you to witness a dramatization of Penacony’s history and form your own thoughts and opinions about it, his goal is a last ditch effort to get you to share HIS specific perspective.

He talks over the story to tell you what’s happening, giving his conclusions from the get-go and sometimes even saying things that seem to directly contradict what he’s speaking over, but by the time you can even parse it, it’s gone and you’re left with little to do but move on. It’s overwhelming and makes it very difficult to form a coherent thought about it, much less a proper refutation to his arguments. It is a tactic intended to melt your brain and repeatedly hit it with a hammer of his view - the only reasonable view. So reasonable that it doesn’t even seem to occur to him that someone might have an opposing interpretation that’s logical, (more on this later,) he’s not open to new ideas, he is so completely and utterly set in his philosophy that he takes a chance in trying to hold your hand through it and explain it to you because he believes that if he just talks you through it, you’ll see the light. He is trying to convert others into to accepting the Order. Inducing mental exhaustion combined with repeating a specific philosophy, backed with an narrative to make it feel credible over and over again until your brain is too fried to do anything but accept if is a pretty common brainwashing tactic. For the devs to actually manage to induce that direct feeling in the players within the safety of fiction is actually a really impressive feat.

And he probably isn’t even really taking the specific approach he does consciously, rather, he is likely repeating some of the tactics that Gopher Wood put him through. Gopher, probably the closest thing Sunday had to a parental figure after his mother’s death, is an entity with no physical form that’s practically nigh omniscient and omnipresent within the dreamscape, is able to take over the bodies of anyone within the Oak family (possibly without their knowledge or without them remembering it?) and has been looking after Sunday from a young age. Firstly, we see them employing very similar (conversational? Argumentative?) styles. From the scene about the rehabilitated bird, we see Gopher giving a very scientific but ultimately leading explanation of natural selection (and the inherent cruelty of nature that Sunday heavily internalizes and repeats further down the line,) then poses a question that seems very open: what do you want to do about it? What do you want to do with this fucked up little fledgling that can’t fly? In his inner world, Sunday presents you with this, and several other personal experiences intended to lead you to a particular answer, then calmly asks you what decision you would’ve made in his place, in a way very reminiscent of how Gopher himself spoke to Sunday and Robin.

Sunday’s answer, to build a cage for the bird so it could live”no matter what,” happens to have aligned pretty well with the philosophies of the Order, and the quick unfortunate end the bird met when it was later released solidified his desire to protect via control, and proved to be a very formative experience for him. I think it’s highly plausible that this an early illustration of Sunday’s cult grooming already taking root, or at the very least, of Gopher fishing for a kid who’s open and susceptible to it. Gopher, seemingly being Sunday’s sole direct conspirator, is almost certainly the one who guided him on the path of worshipping the Order, while also making Sunday feel like it was his idea.

We don’t see too much in the way of interactions between Gopher and Sunday beyond that, so we’ll have to fill in the gaps - but Gopher is shown to be constantly watching over the schemes Sunday is involved in via possession of birds long before we actually learn who he is. He is always there, always watching, he can instantly overtake the will of others (so long as they’re in the Oak family - but that’s abt 1/5th of Penacony’s population and the group Sunday is a part of and thus most surrounded by,) and despite seeming very calm and reasonable, he’s clearly not above shutting people down through direct metal suppression if their questions start to pose any kind of a threat. When Welt’s questions became too direct and poignant, leading to him and Robin realizing that Gopher and Sunday were followers of Ena rather than Xipe, Gopher quickly commands Sunday to use his own mental suppression powers on them (since they’re both outside of Gopher’s control,) and Sunday does not hesitate. I have to wonder - how many times has Gopher potentially used this on Sunday, or any of the people around Sunday who got a little too close to presenting him with ideas that challenged the Order’s philosophy? It would not only be extremely easy for him to isolate Sunday intellectually while retaining his status as the sole voice of reason, but also likely, given that protection through control and domination is kind of the whole theme of the Order. (Or at least - Gopher and Sunday’s interpretation of it.) We can thus extrapolate that Gopher may’ve likely used other tactics of manipulation and control on Sunday that we haven’t seen, but which Sunday may imitate, such as in the segment with him narrating over the play about Penacony’s history.

And Sunday, clearly, is extremely isolated, long before he tres to pull his little stunt that ends in him as the lone awake person in an eternal dreamworld. Aside from Gopher, who can’t really be called on and only shows up when he feels like it, the only person he has to confide in is his sister Robin, but Sunday has long since internalized his whole “the strong protect the weak, and they protect the weak through control” bit to the extent that he tries very hard to shelter her from the things he sees as dangerous and painful. He doesn’t tell her about what happened to the bird (though she figured it out on her own anyway,) he doesn’t tell her a damn thing about his lil Ena cult, and he most certainly does not tell her about his doubts, his troubles, or the emotional weight of hearing about the worst of humanity (like that guy who sold his kids for a ticket) through the confessional booth day in and day out with a script that just says “Xipe forgives you.”

And Robin is, frankly, way stronger and smarter than her brother seems to give her any damn credit for. She’s left Penacony to tour the universe, and she headed into a warzone to help in the process, got shot in the throat, and kept singing after recovery. She’s experienced so much more of the universe than Sunday has, she’s had actual conversations with people about their problems that were not one-sided and driven by some sort of ulterior motive. She’s been the first to pick apart his faulty logic or catch on to him hiding something every time, (whether she mentions it in the moment or not,) she was the first to realize something was wrong and wake up in the end, and she ultimately rallied everyone to save her brother from himself. Had Sunday confided in her, talked about deeper life philosophies with her, shared his thoughts and feelings with her, not been isolated or isolated himself from her, treated her like she was just as strong as he was, things may have turned out very different.

Who’s really more sheltered? Robin, or her brother who tried to protect her from it all?

#honkai star rail #sunday #robin #hsr sunday #hsr robin #ch.txt #Oops! I accidentally did a whole Sunday analysis #Anyway uhhhh Sunday is actually an extremely well written character #And that part of the story was good actually

[total-drama-takes-the-squeakquel]

tdpi isn't even that bad y'all are just mean. like it's flawed and all but some people act like it's an utterly abysmal godawful season with 0 redeeming features and that's just not true

like. 3 female villains who are all different and interesting, funny jokes, interesting concept of the mechanical island, cute romance AND trainwreck romance, and the characters may be "gimmicky" but they're MY gimmicky characters dammit!

max is hilarious, scarlett and dave are both nastier subversions of the "nerdy" characters in different ways which i really like, ella is an utter sweetheart who was too good for this game, sugar is iconic idc, topher is objectively hilarious and tbh a better version of the "in universe fan" character than sierra (i said what i said), sky is underrated af (no she's not 'just zoey again'), amy and sammy should have been more main characters tbh, even the season's haters seem to agree that jasmine and shawn are great, amd even the less important characters like leonard and beardo are memorable enough to have their fans. like me. i am a leonard fan. idc

also for all the talk of chris being "too mean", he's always been like that. like maybe he did get a little more unhinged but remember how he went to jail for a year? and it isn't that big of a difference imo, people love to point to that scene in tda where he gets scared that the contestants are going to die, but that's just because he'll lose his money if they do. chris has always been a bitch. he does get a bit much at some points in the later seasons but it's really not that bad.

anyway point is this season is better than people give it credit for, y'all should give it another chance

- 👽

-

#total drama #total drama pahkitew island #fandom takes #long post #alienon

[3eyesdivine]

Venenum

highly requested tama tonga fic.

warnings ; 18 +, smut, angst, toxicity, heavy and intimate scene, verbal arguments

"Lani! Lani! La- Ugh." The woman's friend called repeatedly in an attempt to grab the others attention as she traveled throughout the arena's backstage area.

This time around, WWE was held in New York, and the enormous auditorium was teeming with energy. The fans' cries were likely loud enough to be heard across the illuminated city, and the excitement that filled the arena could be felt all around.

"Lani, slow down! Shit." The female eventually comes to a halt and turns around, ripping an earbud out of her ear as she watches her friend sprint up to her, clearly out of breath and struggling to heave more than she did to breathe in general.

"Girl, what the fuck.." Nalani said, her expression perplexed. 

Nalani's friend held up a finger to indicate that she needed a minute before lowering her hands to her knees, taking long breaths to control her breathing, and slowly rising up straight and staring her best friend in the eyes. 

Nalani removed her earbuds entirely and stuffed them in her purse after noticing the gaze of her best friend, Yvonne.

"What is it?" She questions, her tone silvery but full of worry.

Yvonne sighs as she grabs Nalani's arm and leads her down the corridor to a less congested spot. "Tama, he starts at the company tonight."

Tama Tonga was someone Nalani once had a close ‘situationship’ with; the two were not dating nor were they anything else, nonetheless the two had a terrible fallout, which was one of the main reasons the woman decided to leave NPJW and join WWE, where she has been for at least two years. 

Yvonne expected her friend to be shattered by this news and was ready to console her in any way she could, but Nalani's expression was blank, emotionless. 

"Whatever." Nalani responds, shrugging her shoulders. "Him and I happened a long time ago, it is what it is, Yvonne but, thank you for telling me anyway."

With that, the woman walked away, leaving the other lingering there in shock. 

Later that night, the program had been running for at least an hour or two, and Nalani found herself practically hooked to the TV. Tama had made his debut in the ring, standing alongside Solo Sikoa. The woman tried to fool herself into believing she didn't care about the man's presence, but she did.

As the Tama and Solo segment concluded, it was time to proceed with the matches, and Nalani had yet to notice that she and Tama were in the same room along with their many other coworkers, watching the events on TV. However, Nalani felt holes being burnt into her back and rose up to leave the room as a result. 

As she got up from her seat, her eyes connected with his for barely a few seconds, yet even with such a brief period of time, the two could feel a strong surge of tension sweep over them both. A surge so overwhelming that it made Nalani's knees weak. So strong, Tama had to take a deep breath in and out, feeling as if the air between them was so thick he could hardly breathe.

Tama followed the woman as she fled the room. He accompanied her every step but lagged behind her, leaving enough distance between them so others assumed it was a coincidence that the two were on the same path.

"Nalani!" Tama whispered, more like a whisper shout. 

He increases his speed. 

"Nalani, stop please. Let's talk." He tries once more. 

The woman shook her head, hoping to drown out the man's voice as she searched for an empty space to hide in.

Finally. She had stumbled upon an empty office, pulling the door open and walking inside, but the man was right behind her, closing and locking the door behind him.

The two stood a few feet apart at first, with Nalani taking the lead and turning around to face the man directly. "Tama, I want nothing to do with you. You know that." She reminded him, watching as he made slow steps closer to her, with such caution. 

"Nalani, I don't care and you also know that. What about what we had? We need to talk about it.”

The woman scoffed and pressed her brows together, crossing her arms across her chest. 

"We had nothing, Tama. Just sex! It was all sex. Sex, sex, sex! What the fuck did we have?!" She raised her voice, tears threatening the brims of her eyes along with a stinging sensation like an intense burn. 

Tama tightened his jaw and dared to approach her close enough to tower over her.  "Nalani, sex was all you ever fucking came to me for! You loved me though, I know you did. I know you."

"No." She denied.

Tama stepped closer, his breath gently brushing against her face and vice versa. 

"Yes, Nalani. You did."

Shaking her head, tears streaming down her cheeks, she gazed up at him. 

"No, Tama. No, I did not."

The room fell silent as the intense and emotional dispute transformed into a moment of longing, as it usually does. His hands pushed Nalani's hair away from her face and cradled her cheeks. "Come on, ma. Please." He begged softly.

The woman's breath halted in her throat as his lips touched hers tenderly. That beautiful softness developed into a tongue war, with the two nearly engulfing one another's faces and their kisses becoming increasingly intense. 

Tama pushed Nalani against the desk and raised her to sit on top of it, moving his fingers up her bare thighs to the hem of her little shorts. 

"These need to come off. Now." He ordered, and the woman quickly pulled away from the kiss and slid out of the shorts, discarding them elsewhere in the office while remaining in her black, laced thong. 

The man's hand snaked its way into Nalani's panties, his fingers grazing her clit as the woman became wetter, her fluids covering his digits as he drove his hand farther down, inserting his fingers into her slippery hole. 

Nalani's breathing was erratic, and her hands trembled as she clutched the man's huge biceps. Her hips jolted against his hand, the woman trying her hardest not to emit vulgar sounds as she bit down on her bottom lip so hard that it could've drawn blood. 

She was dizzy for it, her head whirling as she tried to talk.

"Please.." was all she could manage to mumble as she sighed against his neck while he rocked his fingers in and out of her, his movements accompanied by the sounds of her liquids as they filled the room, along with her shy whimpers and his dirty words whispered against her lips like a tease.

Backing his hand away, Tama sucked and licked his fingers clean, gaze fixed on hers, while his free hand swiftly unbuckled the belt of his pants and zipper before slipping them down along with his underwear. When the man was freed from his pants' confinement, his large cock slapped against his stomach.

Nalani was near drooling at the sight, her legs extending like an open invitation, which Tama eagerly accepted. 

Advancing towards her, his right hand grabbed her jaw tightly, while his left moved the woman's panties to the side and positioned his tip just where Nalani desired it the most. "Tell me how bad you want it, mama." He talked in a gravelly tone that made the woman want to come right then and there.

"Please, Daddy. Fuck me. Fuck me, please." She pleaded, and the way her stunning, large brown eyes peered into his drove him wild, thus he wasted no time in driving his cock deep into her soaking pussy. 

"Mm. Mhm, this my pussy. Huh, baby?" He groaned, his hips grinding back and forth slowly to start. 

Nalani was already immersed in the pleasure, her thoughts foggy from the thrill of feeling the way he hammered his dick in and out of her, as he had done previously in a similar setting. They'd fuck any and everywhere, every chance they had. The man fucked her with such intensity that she could be deemed hooked. This was dick she'd gladly chase after, a man she'd give herself to without hesitation.

"Yours, baby. Yours.." She managed to let out, her body surrendering to his every touch and motion, understanding the work of sex as if he were the Greek god Himeros himself, reincarnated and living within the body of a fine, six-foot-tall Tongan man. 

His thrusts accelerated, Tama grasping her legs as he hooked his forearms beneath her knees in a successful attempt to strike deeper, nailing all the right spots as he usually did. 

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and all she could see was darkness, his groans and gruff grunts against her ear, pushing her over the edge. 

"We gotta be quick, ma. Lemme see you come all over daddy's dick." He pressed on, seeking for the sensation he couldn't even deny missing. The feeling of Nalani's pussy tightening around him, followed by her body jerking and shaking. 

The man's hip motions quickly shifted from a brisk tempo to a vicious rhythm, with cries of pleasure threatening to escape from between the woman's plump, glossy lips. 

"You gon' come? Hm?" Tama rasped, placing a hand around Nalani's neck, which only pushed the woman to her peak. 

Her body trembled uncontrollably, back arched as her chest pressed up against his. It felt like her brain had stopped functioning. She hadn't had such sex this good in a long time, and it amazed her. She came hard, creaming as it beautifully decorated the man's cock. 

Tama, on the other hand, succumbed to his orgasm just seconds later. His hips came to a standstill as he rammed into the woman one more time, emitting an audible grunt. "Oh, shit." He cursed, staying in that position for a couple seconds longer before gently pulling away from Nalani. 

Looking at the woman as she collected herself and returned to reality after coming down from her high, the man admired the little balls of sweat along her hairline and along her temples. 

She looked good, no matter what. 

"I love you, I do." She ultimately admits, resting her head on his chest, worn out. 

The man grinned, kissing the top of her head and resting his chin on it. 

"I know, ma." 

Not sure how I feel about it but I hope you all enjoy!

As always, don't be afraid to send requests and check out my other works while you're here!

#roman reigns #wwe roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns smut #jey uso #jey uso wwe #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso smut #jimmy uso #jimmy uso fanfiction #jimmy uso smut #jimmy uso wwe #solo sikoa #tama tonga #tama tonga wwe #tama tonga smut #tama tonga fanfiction #tama tonga x oc #tama tonga x reader #the bloodline wwe #the bloodline x reader #tonga loa

[meetinginsamarra]

mayprompts2024 #11, secret

Read parts 1-9 on AO3 here

++++++

The Perfect Place - Part Ten

They were riding in the backseat of a taxi to 221b Baker Street when Sherlock was struck by an unexpected and most unwelcome bout of nervousness.

Would John like the flat? Or would he decline like the previous nine potential flatmates? Sherlock gnawed his lower lip. Will I lose John as quickly as I have found him?

Sherlock remembered when one week ago, he had whined about this to Mike Stamford (Sherlock prefered to call it “complained”). As in being unable to find a suitable flatemate.

He told Mike that so far, every time a candidate had come to take a look at 221b, they had more or less quickly fled, using all kinds of excuses. Dumb ones like “sorry, gotta dash, I forgot to switch off the stove”, plausible ones like “bugger, it’s late, I need to be at work now” or ridiculous ones like the faked phone call that claimed “emergency at home, the neighbour’s run over my hamster with the lawn mower”. And so on and on.

Some of the disturbed looking candidates had kept their composure and simply went down the stairs whereas others had resembled headless chicken, about to run into a wall on their hurried way out.

Whichever way they ran, run they did. Why this always had happened every time remained a secret to Sherlock, one he could not solve. For all his observational and deductive skils, Sherlock stayed clueless about what scared them off.

(To everybody else it would be quite obvious.

The aspiring flatmates were greeted by a real human skull on the mantel and discovered a whole armoury of deadly weapons in the flat, reaching from a razor-sharp looking dagger over an antique Turkish scimitar to a literally bloody whaler’s harpoon. One peeked into the frigde and found himself face to foot with a human foot that was beginning to decompose. Another one was deeply troubled by the scrapbook with gory crime scene photos on the desk. A third one found the kitchen table strewn with the remnants of guinea pig embryos.

Sherlock found all of these circumstances perfectly normal, of course. Whereas these were deeply disturbing to the flatmates-to-be and triggered their instict of self-preservation. They presumed they would cohabitate with a murderous madman and left as long as they could.)

Anyway, after Sherlock’s complaining (whining) to Mike about his predicament, Mike had come up with a name (John Watson) claiming this man could be the pot to Sherlock’s kettle. Sherlock wanted to know more about this mystery man but Mike had simply smiled and said “Go and deduce him yourself, Sherlock.”

Sherlock’s interest had been piqued but it died a sudden death when he found out that the address Mike had given him was “Bernie’s Bed Shop”.

How could Mike assume that Sherlock would be interested in sharing his flat with a stupid salesman of boring beds? Sherlock had grumbled for three days about Mike’s proposal but then the next two other candidates had run from the flat and Sherlock had caved and had gone to the Bed Shop for a stake-out.

As soon as Sherlock had seen John limping to the shop and opening the front door with a trembling hand, he had deduced all about this fascinating doctor-soldier-salesman. Sherlock immediately fell in love.

In the present, Sherlock decided to be extra cautious and give John a heads-up about the state the flat was in.

“Erm, John, a warning concerning the flat, though. It’s a bit cluttered at the moment (a blatant understatement) with all my moving boxes and the things that have not yet found their final place (and most of them also never would). So please, don’t let this scare you away.”

(Let’s attest it to Sherlock’s current nervousness and distracted state of mind (palace) that he even considered such a warning might discomfort John when all it did was the exact opposite.)

“It won’t, I promise.” John said and became more curious by the minute. What possible dangers might lurk there in secret parts of the flat?

+++++

It's late and I`ve just finished this, so please don't mind possible any typos.

tagging some people @calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @lisbeth-kk @peanitbear @raina-at

#mayprompts2024 #calaisreno #number 11 secret #my sherlock fanfics #the perfect place #no beta we die like (wo)men

[kryptonitejelly]

Grease & Tequila - a Flyboy One-shot

Top Gun: Maverick - Jake Seresin x Reader - part of the Flyboy!Universe

Pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader

Genre: romance; fluff; angst; best friends to lovers

Warnings:  general hangman being hangman; sexual tension; general cursing; will contain mentions of a break up / previous relationship; general use of pet names; fem!reader; pining; general naval / flying inaccuracies; alcohol; being drunk.

Length: One-shot

Summary: Set 5 months pre the Flyboy!era. The one where Jake gets the call that you and Dan have broken up and he has to be on the next plane to New York, now.

Flyboy | Mini-Series Masterlist

(not fully updated as of today, but if you follow / search the tag “flyboy universe” / “flyboy” / “flyboy fic” / “flyboy!jake” on my tumblr you’ll find recent asks / headcannons / blurbs!)

A/N: It’s been a while, and this isn’t all that exciting, but I think it definitely (I hope) sets the scene for Flyboy and helps everything click into place.

DISCLAIMER: all work posted here is purely fanfiction; it does not in any way purport to be an accurate representation of real life or the general workings of any institution.

“Lieutenant,” Admiral Craig’s voice booms out as Jake opens the door to his office. The Admiral waits for Jake to shut the door completely before he starts up again, “I got your last minute absence request.”

“That is correct, Sir,” Jake nods, as he comes to a stand in front of the Admiral’s desk. He stands with his feet hip width apart, hands behind his back, eyes meeting the older man’s.

“Everything okay?” The Admiral asks, his gaze steady on Jake’s. It was rare for a last minute absence request to come across his desk, which meant that when they did - it was usually pressing.

“Just something I need to attend to, Sir.” Jake responds, his mask not slipping, but the Admiral hears the weight behind his words. There is a silence pause between the two men, before the Admiral picks up his pen, signing the bottom of the two sheets of paper before him with a flourish. He was never one to refuse these requests as long as he deemed them legitimate, but he made it a point of looking the requestor in the eye to make his own assessment of the situation before approving them. He didn’t need to know the why, unless it was volunteered by the requestor him/herself, but he needed to know that it wasn’t being abused and Jake Seresin, for all his ego and cockiness, was a dedicated solider. He wouldn’t ask, unless it was absolutely necessary.

“Approved,” the Admiral says simply before passing one of the sheets to Jake. Jake’s mask doesn’t crack, but the Admiral sees a twitch of relief as Jake remembers how to breathe, “Godspeed.”

“Thank you Sir.”

-

Jake shifts irritably in his seat as he waits for boarding to be complete. He had reached out to Grandma Doris’ personal assistant once he had gotten off the phone with you, even before he had submitted his flight request, his text to her was just one sentence, twelve words long - I need to be on the next flight to New York, please. He usually would not have bothered her, but this - this was a pressing situation, he just had to get on that plane. She had, the blessing that she was, gotten hold of two flight options for him, the next flight to New York, and the next next as a backup, both in first class no less, with a simple request to let her know when he needed a flight ticket back from New York.

“May I offer you a hot towel, Mr Seresin?” The stewardess stops beside his seat. Jake shakes his head, offering her a polite half smile.

“No thank you.”

“How about some nuts, or maybe a drink?” She tries again.

“How long more do you think it’ll be till take-off?” Jake’s question is abrupt and she is quiet for a second, slightly taken a back. He isn’t rude, but is, obviously antsy.

“I think another twenty minutes Mr Seresin,” she says as she follows his gaze out of the window.

“Thanks,” is all she gets from Jake as he continues to stare out of the window beside him as if willing take-off to come faster.

-

“Anything else?” The cashier of the fried chicken shop just around the corner from your apartment building asks Jake as he rings up the total on the till.

“That’s all, thanks.” Jake says as he slides his card out of his wallet before tapping it against the screen of the payment machine which is proffered to him.

“Here’s your receipt, please wait on the right.” Jake slides his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans before stepping towards the right. The tequila which he had picked up on his way out of the airport is in his backpack, the shape of the bottle pressed against his back, a reminder that he was just that much closer to what he came to New York for.

-

The ride up the elevators to your apartment is excruciatingly slow, and Jake taps his foot against the ground the whole way up. He hadn’t had to buzz you to let him up, managing instead to catch a couple on their way out and slip into the building - something which he made a mental note of in the back of his mind - perhaps it was time to convince you to move to somewhere with a doorman or concierge for increased safety.

The bottle of tequila is now in one of his hands, and the bag of greasy fried chicken and fries in his other - his remedy for your broken heart. Alcohol, fast food, and well, him. His eyes are fixed on the flashing red numbers as if willing the elevator to go faster. It stops with a ding, and Jake all but runs out.

-

He hears you before he sees you, hears faint noises and shuffling, the unlocking of a separate bolt and a lock before you pull open the door an inch to peer out past the safety chain. His eyes meet yours, and sees your eyes, glassy and red rimmed, no doubt from crying meet yours. The doors shuts fully for a second or two as you undo the safety chain before it is pulled open fully.

Jake takes you in the second the open door reveals you - the red tip of your noise, hair on top of your head in a loose, messy up do, body clad in an oversized t shirt and a pair of loose sweatpants and he feels a funny tug in his chest.

“I thought you might need this,” he says as he holds up the items in his hands. You hold his gaze for a second more, and then it happens, the glossiness in your eyes turn into tears which spill over onto your cheeks as you take a step forward, throwing your arms around Jake’s body, burying your face in his chest. Jake hears, but also feels the sobs that wrack your body against his front and he is quite sure that in that moment, the tug in his chest feels like a earth shattering crack.

“I got you,” he says gruffly, bringing both his hands down around you, while still holding onto both items. His words only intensify the sobs coming from you and all Jake can do is draw you closer.

-

“I’ve never liked him,” Jake snorts as he watches you down yet another shot of tequila. You are both sitting around the coffee table in the floor of your living room, greasy chicken and fries demolished, the open bottle of tequila three quarters gone - with more damage having been exacted on the bottle by you than by Jake. Jake isn’t drunk, but he definitely isn’t sober, which means that neither are you.

“He’s an asshole,” you half shout, your words slurring from the alcohol as you let your self sag backwards, leaning against the sofa before you let yourself droop sideways, your head coming to rest on Jake’s shoulder. Jake shifts, moving his arm around you. It allows you to scoot further into his side, your face turning slightly to rest against the side of his chest. You breathe in his scent, the faint smell of soap, laundry detergent and airplane along with his own natural musk, which wraps around you like home, and you feel Jake’s fingers running themselves soothingly along your arm..

“Say the word, I’ll beat him to a pulp,” Jake says, dropping the side of his cheek against the top of your head, his finger squeezing the top of your arm gently. His tone is light, joking almost - but yet not really. Nevertheless, the thought of Dan facing off against Jake makes you chuckle lowly. Dan was no slob himself, he maintained a decent level of fitness - occasional runs, regular visits to the gym, but he might as well have been one compared to Jake. Dan worked out for aesthetics, but next to Jake, who had worked out for functionality all his life, football, the Navy, Dan paled greatly in comparison.

“He’ll never stand a chance,” you say, amused as you close your eyes. Your head has started to get impossibly heavy, your tongue feels thick from the copious amounts of alcohol running through your system, and you let your head rest heavier on Jake’s chest.

“That’s the idea,” is what Jake says and it makes you giggle this time as you sink yourself further into Jake’s hold, seeking out a comforting, physical closeness. Jake can feel yourself pressing into him.

“C’mere,” he mutters, as the arm he has around you tightens. You feel movement, and Jake is reaching across your body, managing to slip an arm under your legs to pull you onto his lap.

“Jake,” your protest is weak because you don’t put up an ounce of a fight, opting instead to shift along with him so that you are comfortably nested on his lap, your ear against his shoulder, tip of your nose just about brushing the side of his neck, “I’m not a child.”

“Mmm,” Jake simply hums in agreement with your words, both his arms coming to form a loose, protective cocoon around you.

You both sit in a comfortable silence, a haze of alcohol enveloping you both. Truth to be told, the break up, the serial cheating - it all hadn’t come as a surprise to you. You had suspected on many occasions, but it had been easier to ignore and live in denial than to face the truth after 3 years of being with the same person. It had broken you for many reasons, and it still hurt like hell to lose a constant presence with which you had spent the past 3 years with, but you weren’t all that sure it had broken your heart, not when your relationship had been fizzling out for a while and you’ve suspected for months.

“He wasn’t good enough for you, you know,” Jake says as he turns his head slightly, managing to plant a half kiss on the side of your temple.

“You say that with every break up,” you laugh dismissively, “that’s what best friends are supposed to say.”

Your words make Jake frown and he moves himself to move you, making you sit up sideways on his lap so that he can look you in the eye. Your are slightly elevated from being seated on his thigh, and you find yourself staring down, holding his gaze. You slide the palms of your hands past his shoulders to steady yourself.

“They were all not good enough for you,” is what he says, unwavering as he holds your gaze. From your sideways position, you can feel one of Jake’s hands sliding around your back, and coming to rest on your waist, and the other coming to rest loosely across your lap.

“Or maybe I wasn’t good enough for them,” you say with a rueful quirk of your lips, letting yourself drown in alcohol induced post break-up self pity. Your words only make Jake’s brows furrow together, a flash of irritating passing through his eyes. It makes him move the arm hanging across your lap up to cup the side of your face, his thumb brushing the space just below your eye. You let yourself luxuriate in the warm against your cheek, leaning into his hold. You see Jake’s gaze dart from your eyes to your lips, but the fuzziness of your mind doesn’t let you overthink at just how intimate the moment between you both is.

“You are too good for all of them,” is what he says. You see a flash of something in Jake’s eyes, and perhaps if you were sober, it would have been something you could more accurately place, but you can’t.

“I want to go to bed,” you say, your exhaustion suddenly hitting you and you let your eyes close, weight of your head still balancing on Jake’s hand.

“Ok,” is all he says as his thumb continues to move gently across your skin.

“Come with me?” You say, your ask clear, you didn’t want to be alone - it was simple, nothing more, no innuendo and you knew that Jake would understand.

“Ok,” he repeats as he finally drops his arm from your cheek.

-

Jake has a hand behind his head, eyes fixed up on the ceiling of your bedroom. You had fallen asleep the moment your head hit the pillow, no doubt attributable to all the tequila you had ingested, but also a sure sign at just how exhausted you were. He had taken a quick shower, ridding himself of whatever traces of airplane he had left on him, before tugging on the pair of shirt and shorts he had brought along with him and, true to his word - gotten into bed with you. There was no way in hell was he allowing you to wake up alone.

He lets the soft hum of your snores wash over him, and Jake tilts his head down to watch the rise and fall of your body from where it is curled up beside him in a fetal position under the covers. You look at peace, finally - but he can see the sunken skin beneath your eyes, a tell tale sign that not all was well.

“Baby,” he sighs, murmuring to himself, the term of endearment slipping too naturally from his lips, as you shift, your body finding its way a few inches closer to him. He doesn’t hesitate, removing the arm from behind his head to caress the side of your cheek. Your snores stop, turning instead to an sleep exhale of content, and in that moment, it strengthens Jake’s resolve. He feels the gears shift in his brain and chest, feelings that he had kept at bay in the recesses of his mind and heart for months, years, coming to shore. He had spent the past 3 years watching you fumble your way around with Dan, and even more before that with different men that you had dated, but it was enough - fuck that. He was sick of watching them hurt you, breaking your heart when you deserved so, much, more. Jake wasn’t going to let that happen again. The next person you dated was going to be your last, the person you dated, was going to be him.

-

“Text me when you land,” you twist your fingers around, interlocking them with each other as you and Jake stand on the sidewalk outside your apartment, waiting for his car to pull up.

“I will,” he says while watching you twist your fingers together. You weren’t ready for him to leave, and neither was he - ready for himself to leave, but the days since his arrival on Thursday night had blown past, and Sunday had come too soon, “text me whenever you need,” he says as he extends an arm, pulling you sideways into him. His action makes you stumble slightly, and you reach out with a hand, to grab him around his waist.

“I will,” your response is a parrot of his. It had been a great past few days, once you had gotten over the hangover that hit you both, but you harder, on Friday morning. Jake had forced you out of the house for two whole days of everything and nothing - strolls around the city all while forcing you to thread your arm through his, making sure you filled your stomach with an assortment of food, watching bad television together in your apartment. He had filled your space with laughter, familiarity, and physical touch when you needed it most and you weren’t ready for him to leave.

“I’ll miss you,” he says, leaning sideways towards you to brush his lips against the top of your head. Jake lets his lips linger for a second or two, and you let your eyes close - letting yourself be vulnerable, enjoying the moment.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave,” you voice is soft, small almost, the truth of your words both a happy feeling for Jake, but also a stab to his heart.

“I wish I didn’t have to either,” he says gruffly, removing his lips from the top of your head to pull you into a bone crushing full frontal hug. He could see a car approaching from the end of the road, his time with you dwindling now to just mere seconds, “I’ll see you soon,” he says, a statement, not a question as you cling onto him in similar fashion.

“Soon,” you echo, a promise between you both.

-

“So how along you leaving your girlfriend for?” The driver asks his question conversationally as he pulls away form the sidewalk. Jake’s gaze lingers on you as he raises a hand to wave goodbye. He sees you offer a lopsided smile and a similar wave of your hand.

“I don’t know,” he admits to the driver without much thought, not bothering to correct him. Jake keeps his gaze trained on your until he is no longer able to.

“Hopefully you’ll see her again soon,” is what the driver continues with conversationally, “she looks crushed that you’re leaving.”

“Yeah, hopefully,” is all Jake can say as he settle back into the seat of the cab, his mind far away, his heart still with you.

#jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #flyboy #jake seresin imagine #hangman x you #Flyboy!universe #Flyboy fic #flyboy! #Flyboy universe #flyboy!jake #jake seresin fic #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin fanfic #hangman x reader #Jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman fic #jake hangman seresin fanfic #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction #not cm #top gun fanfic #hangman fic #hangman imagine #hangman #Jake hangman seresin x you #top gun fanfiction #top gun #top gun hangman

[tumblingxelian]

Chloe Bourgeois - Not a Typical Mean Girl

No, I am not going to sit here and talks about Chloe's family, or issues, or one writers seeming obsession with her. No!

I am here to discuss what I think is a very common misunderstanding about Chloe's character and the show in fandom that often crops up in discussion regarding her.

Namely that the thing Chloe needs most is to be chastised, rejected & punished for her mean behavior, that will sort her out!

As though that wasn't already a thing that happens?

Bear with me and I'll explain that claim first:

The school does not like punishing any students. The only reason Alya was punished for coordinating an effort to break into Chloe's locker is because Chloe threatened the principle. The only reason Marinette was almost expelled was because Lila framed her for cheating, theft & assault all in one day & she still needed to make a scene of the whole affair. There's one teacher that punishes students, but she does so unfairly, cruelly and haphazardly and in season 1, Chloe was not shown getting any special treatment from her. Special treatment from the faculty was not a thing unless we are counting later retcons.

So now that the faculty is out of the way, wat I mean is that Chloe is not a typical mean girl because she is not popular.

In stuff like Mean Girls, Heathers and so on, the usual standard is that the mean girls are mean, but they are also revered, beloved, popular in one way or another despite their horrible behavior.

This is not the case with Chloe.

Even in Season 1 where only Marinette & Nino seems to start the season disliking Chloe. (Her presence unpleasant but hardly traumatic given the Origins level bickering) Chloe was still not widely well liked by the class or school.

She had one friend in Sabrina and a second oh so briefly in Adrien, which did let her absorb some of his celebrity by proximity. But within 48 hours of having him she lost him; with Adrien becoming more distant to divorce himself from her behavior.

That's it and while one can say her haughty attitude and ego are the reason we know from season 2 she is aware everyone hates her & it upsets her.

S1-Chloe did get invited to some class events, but even then her presence was not largely welcomed with most far less prone to be patient with her than they were with others even if they exhibited similar behavior. Such as Kim bullying Ivan, or Nino expressing blatant frustration with Mylene, ETC.

By late season 2 she was pretty much entirely segregated from her peers, barring Sabrina, and her presence welcomed with shades of disinterest, disdain or outright hostility. Sometimes evoked on her part or just in general.

This is a big difference from the usual Mean Girls = Popular Girls trend but I often don't see it acknowledged in fandom discourse.

This especially feels to be the case given so often I see people arguing Chloe "needs" to be rejected, or told her behavior is bad, or that no one likes her... But she is, all the time, she is entirely aware people don't like her and unhappy about it.

The issue is not that her bad behavior is being rewarded in school. The issue is that bad behavior is what she was taught at home and what is encouraged there and what is shown to work for her parents. But it doesn't work for her and she doesn't know why, because no one really bothers to teach her why. hey just get angry and snap at her or ignore her.

& sure you can say its not her peers job to explain morality o empathy to someone who was explicitly taught by their father how to cheat at & win elections by intimidation. But the fact is no one at home is going to do so because they are modelling, encouraging & teaching the opposite up until it impacts 'them' personally.

Not sure if there's a greater point to this, but...

I often find people acting like the thing Chloe needs is for her bad behavior not to be 'rewarded' or 'indulged' by her class and to instead be 'rejected' and for her to face 'consequences'.

But she does! That's basically all she does; & When she doesn't usually an Akuma tries to murder her anyway!

So yeah, Chloe isn't a typical mean girl.

She's actually deeply unpopular among classmates and the school has a discipline issue all over, it didn't come from her.

More negativity is not going to magically make her "better".

#chloe bourgeois #Miraculous Ladybug #Meta #Analysis

[bentosandbox]

Ambience Synesthesia tutorial blog

rambled this out because I didn't have inflight wifi otw home and the turbulence was too crazy to draw

Buying the ticket

erm so they only dropped the tickets like slightly less than a month before lol kinda insane

The concert tickets were sold on Damai so you need a CN number or know/pay someone with one who'd buy it for you which is what I did by recommendation (A tier 1280 + 400 'service fee' [apparently it would have been cheaper if they only helped you half way or something but i wasnt gonna risk running into a payment hiccup so]) Iirc they sold it in two batches but I don't remember the ratio split between first and second wave…

I got a ticket for 5/5's afternoon show (so the second last performance), I DID meet an oomf who said they managed to snag a ticket for themselves on their own (without a Professional Ticket Snatcher) so its not too impossible to attain on your own I think??? (I didn't get a CN number until like 2 days before I flew back home soo)

Professional Ticket what?? Uhhh apparently there's a whole industry/scene for this you look for listings on xianyu/taobao etc for people to buy on your behalf, you have to give them your real name and identification number (so for foreigners it'd be your passport number) for verification purposes during entry so yknow yea

getting there

You could cab directly to the venue but my friend signed us up for the free shuttle bus (they had freebies last year but not this time) and before we boarded they gave us like free water and bread (apparently free raincoats too on rainy days) which was nice of them but also insane because. the venue doesn't allow you to bring food/drinks in so a lot of people were leaving A LOT of unopened bottles near the gate and I saw a venue staff just throwing them all into the bin (HOPEFULLY JUST TO CARRY THEM AWAY IN ONE GO AND NOT FOR STRAIGHT DISPOSAL….) They drop you off near the venue but you don't go in directly, there's a 'Doctor break room' where most people are seated waiting to be ushered in batches into the venue, but also a lot of people standing around on one side of the room swapping/offering merch

merch swap

ive been told this is a very concert culture thing but i feel like its kind of different because a lot of these are so high quality ike…you could sell them at Artist Alleys but here they are just distributing for free if you have a E2 60 blorbo lmao or whatever (there seems to be a tiny…? minority that prints official art but most of them seem to be handdrawn/made)

i was too unprepared for this lol i did exchange some of my old stickers (missed out on a collapsal plastic fan bc my brain lagged when the guy asked me and i went to my auto 'sorry i dont have any merch' response' :( regretted this bc the room got a little hot from the amount of people in there and i was wearing like 3 layers with that fan on my mind)

from people watching a lot of trades are arranged beforehand on weibo/other sites unless you're willing to yell WHO WANTS TO TRADEEE/anyone wants freebies (a lot of people were also wearing 'Feel Free to Swap Merch/Ask for Freebies' tags) which i was definitely not brave enough to do lol… met up with an oomf i got to know from last dec when i attended an arknights only and they gave me some birbs and charms (bottom of post), there was someone who got a free LGD zine and charm from me bc i posted on wb that id give a free copy to anyone with a Mod 3 swire/swummer LMFAO

I had 2 more people to meet but, uhhh so I bought an esim for mobile data and it would intermittently lose signal here and there which was a little annoying when getting coffee but it just died entirely when i reached the venue and it was kind of Dire because i was waiting for one more friend who was coming over from the fes and i couldn't contact them lmao. told the friend i came with to go in first because I thought if my food got confiscated at least my oomf could see it beforehand LOL

waited outside in a light drizzle for an hour trying to trouble shoot my data to no avail and ended up borrowing a staff's wifi hotspot to get my entry qr code (I actually bought a second data roaming plan on my local sim but i quite stupidly did not check the country coverage and only learned later that night that 'Asia' doesn't cover China kuxiao) she was so nice i was (bow emoji) so sorry to trouble you im a stupid gaijin and she was like no its ok enjoy shanghai!! pien

spent a good 30min next to this board praying for data to no avail

the show

erm anyway because of that clownery above i more or less missed the first piece (the one w the goated hoho) but at least i wasnt the guy next to me who went for a bathroom break right before starset came up

The live singing this year was definitely an improvement I think… I can't really remember the setlist off the top of my head but I'm sure someone else has already listed it out, there were a couple of new pieces that weren't related to the concert groups like a Babel/Kazdel?? one sung in Latin, a Victoria…? one (in victorian ofc) also an Amiya (? just remembering by the visuals they used lol) one in Japanese

ohh yeah so almost every track would start with like a faction logo transitioning in from 3d to 2d which was cool but also amusing because it was honestly bringing quite the 'I will Make Your Company Logo Into 3D Fiverr' vibes

Since I missed the first piece idk if any of The Dreamer(s) got 3D models but The Pilgrim(s why are they all singular) had Kaltsit playing on that piano (there was also a replica of that piano on stage the white one complete with 'Arknights' text on it lmao) and Siege being cool running around in 3D (and ofc Eureka during her denpa number) it was very cool but man... its a pity the other characters in the group just get their live2d png during the beginning and effectively get sidelined lool compared to say Phenomenal Agents idk if i like this tradeoff but that eureka bit was so good sheesh #NOVAFIVE⭐ULTRALIVESWEEP

The other stuff was really great too looking at you Lone Trail medley…!!!!! I might be wrong but I... assume... you're encouraged to karaoke bc they always show the lyrics on screen… I couldn't even hear myself anyway but it was very fun singing songs you can't get on joysound/etc with a whole crowd going at it too (even if most of them would only sing 1-2 lines of the chorus)

Mary Clare did Radiant (they had the lyrics scrolling on the sides very cool) and iirc the Throne group's song...? Radiant was so fun live

Starset did Monster > Telescope and when the latter ended they were like Bye! and we(?) started yelling ENCORE--awkwardly because idk how they do it here (I was half expecting it to be JP style 'an-call-roo' but a bunch of us just yelled en-core en-core here and there until they returned to perform Infected) speaking of yelling.. between every piece when they had to switch sets people would just yell memes or skill names (like Dage's) to pass the time or sth i barely caught half of whatever they were memeing about

did i forget to mention anything else uhhh originium rock turntable for Guide Ahead's boss theme/Dossoles Lobby and they had IS4 medley live throat singing very cool also the dancers they got for silbenherze's boss theme good stuff...

iirc after starset was like a behind the scenes video of how HG prepared for AS and a recorded lowlight video saying some stuff that i forgot LOL just some thank you message basically. 9.5/10 bc no missy/shu EP live

i just realised i forgot to display all the merch from the A tier ticket but w/e. light stick photo ft. merch swaps/gifts from friends and strangers 🥹 (the iffy lenticular card was literally dropped into my bag by an iffy coser (wearing the LT outfit..?!) while waiting for the cab LMAO)

#arknights #bentotexto #will blog about the festival in another post because i dont think theyll let me post that many photos #yeah i got the logos/theresa pillow but im giving it to a friend

[moldycantaloupe]

Mushy May Day 11

(Bonus prompt 8) first kiss

Pairing; Mountain/Dewdrop

note; this is during Era III

thanks as always to @forlorn-crows for the prompts!

Dew could not stop looking at that tall ass earth ghoul throughout the show, which was bad for the show.

He wanted to hate him, he wanted to hate that overly chilled out ghoul for so long, but it was so hard when he was just so loveable and caring. He made Dew’s coffee sometimes and it was always better than how he made it. At the ministry he would always do a double check on Dew right before Mass, sometimes he even found something to fuss over. He grew flowers for him, for hell’s sake. He was so caring, and it was so infuriating.

And oh, the passion that Mountain possessed. He treated his kit better than Dew ever treated his bass. He always did double, triple checks preshow to make sure he would be good to perform at his peak. And his peak was just… peak. He swung his sticks and kicked his legs and whatever else with so much enthusiasm, it was almost overwhelming to watch.

It was after bows, and Dew couldn’t get off of stage any faster to try and catch that lanky ghoul. Mountain was chatting with Ifrit about something, something that he honestly could care less about, because he needed to be with Mountain, needed to do something with him.

“Mount!” Dew called out. Mountain turned and stopped, his eyes striking against the chrome of the mask. He tilted his head in a question and Dew simply grabbed his forearm and began walking. Ifrit whistle “go get ‘em!” that he promptly ignored with a huff.

“What’s going on, droplet?” Mountain was ironically stumbling trying to keep up with the water ghoul. Dew gave him no answer and pushed the two of them to a small corner in the venue, somewhere away from prying eyes and any rush of people. He rangled his masks off and stared up at Mountain, breathing heavily. Mountain reluctantly did the same, carefully clicking the mask and balaclava off of his face. His brows were furrowed together and Dew could see his lips form a small frown.

“What’s going on?” Mountain asked again, his voice hushed. Dew shook his head and laughed, what a scene he accidentally created.

“Sorry, nothing, uh-” he took a deep breath and looked back into those eyes, the concern now turned confusion. He smiled slightly, baring his fangs. “You just… I just wanted to say good job. Tonight.”

Mountain blinked at him. “You’re hiding me away to… compliment me?” He chuckled. “Seems pretty excessive, yeah?”

“Yeah, well…” he worried his lip between his teeth, a habit he can already hear Aether lecture to him about again, and sighed. “Good job, man.”

Mountain smiled, bright and genuine. He reached a hand down and rested it against Dew’s cheek, a gesture he leaned into with a hum. Dew could see the cogs rotating in that head of his, something he did often. It was always a good way to get to actually look at him without the problem of being caught.

But those cogs seemed to be working tonight. Slowly, slow enough that Dew could back out at any point, Mountain leaned low and close. Dew met him halfway, hands unsure what to do but hung out in the air as their lips pressed together in a chaste kiss. A peck, really. They leaned their foreheads together, eyes locked in a fierce staring contest that was way too intimate to be anything challenging. Mountain kissed him one more time, smiling into it.

“Thanks.” He mumbled when he pulled away.

#lou writes #mushy may 2024 #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #mountain ghoul #mountain x dewdrop