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joequiinn · 2 months

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The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | pt. 1

[chap two] | [all chapters here]

summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, super minor revenge plot, not-quite-enemies-to-lovers

a/n: Was I the only one who turned 18 a month into their senior year and then proceeded to spiral and become The Worst version of themself possible?? Well, this fic is semi-inspired by that shitty part of my life lmao. Reader figure skates though. I can’t figure skate, hurts my feet lol. I never expected to write a fake dating story, but Eddie Munson has had me bewitched for nearly 2 years now, so here we go.

(if you'd like to be added to a tag list, pls let me know!)

wc: 3.9k

Chapter One

The idea came to you during a student council meeting as the class president was droning on about the ‘85 homecoming preparations: you needed to do something crazy, something completely and utterly out of character.

Maybe it was because of your ex breaking up with you just weeks before school started. Maybe it was that senior year itch. Maybe it was the realization that you were turning 18 next week. Hell, maybe you just woke up that morning with a strong sense that the things in your life were no longer satisfying you.

Whatever the cause, since the start of your senior year, you’ve just felt so off.

Your ex, Duncan, breaking up with you right before school started was a low blow, and an absolutely shitty feeling - you didn’t date much, but when you did, it was never the guy that ended things. It wasn’t shitty because you were in love and oh so heartbreak, it wasn’t shitty because you saw a future with him. It was shitty because of how goddamn embarrassing it was.

To your peers, you were a couple that made sense, and in fact people had been urging you to go out for a while. And, obviously, you had grown to like him, considering that you were in a relationship for six months - you never would have put up with him for that long if you didn’t actually like him. But the fact that he broke up with you, and not the other way around, left a sour, spiteful taste in your mouth.

So, perhaps it was that break-up that made you feel different this entire month. Or maybe it was your impending 18th birthday, which made you realize just how close you were to legal adulthood. Whatever the cause, every single aspect of your life up to this point suddenly came under your deep scrutiny. You just weren’t… happy?

That made it sound bad, but what were you enjoying right now? What got you excited every day? As you sat in the student council meeting, zoning out since the very start, you came to think that maybe you had nothing going on right now that you genuinely wanted in your life.

Hell, you weren’t even on the student council because you enjoyed it, Janet just dragged you into it back in your sophomore year. You figured she loved the sense of importance it gave her. She and everyone else in the council probably got off on how important they felt, the dictators of Hawkins High School.

You always ran in this crowd, and before you never questioned it. The popular kids, the rich kids, the successful kids. You don’t remember ever choosing these friends and acquaintances - if anything, it seemed that these peers were all a constant, as if they’d always been there from the very start. You figured it was the natural state of the world - as the daughter of one of the richest men in town, you were predestined to end up here. Not here as in the student council, surrounded by other spoiled rich kids debating the difference between turquoise and cyan. But here in an even broader sense - in a finely curated life, in all the “right” circles, on the path to either greatness or becoming the trophy wife of greatness.

Up until now, you’d never questioned it. Yes, mom and dad, you were a popular kid whose free time was fully booked between college prep, figure skating, student council, dates with a cookie-cutter boyfriend, and everything else under the sun. Yes, mom and dad, you were doing everything they all told you too because it would look great on your college applications, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, because that’s how things have always been done.

It started to dawn on you maybe a week or so into the school year just how mundane you were - you never questioned your time spent skating or on extracurriculars, you never went against the order of things as dictated by only the most popular of your peers. That’s just what was done, what was always done. But after your ex dared to break up with you, you came to realize recently that maybe all of this wasn’t what you wanted - maybe it was time to start making some choices for yourself instead of worrying what your parents told you or what your peers thought or what to do to keep your boyfriend semi-happy.

So, you started to consider what exactly it was that you wanted. And that proved to be more challenging than you anticipated, which probably would have sounded extremely pathetic if you had said it to any of the people sitting next to you.

Did you like figure skating? Of course, it was your idea after all. What you didn’t like was the pressure from your mother to train and become an Olympian, a feat that was never your intention when you took up the sport at six years old. Besides, you told her, you were way past the age for trials, you’d never get in (or, at least, that’s what you told her, because how the hell would you know whether or not there was a cut off age).

Did you like your friends? You thought so - you’d known them virtually your entire life, so you never questioned your relationship with them. But proximity didn’t necessarily go hand-in-hand with likeability. Maybe some of them you actually liked, but the rest? No, they were just around because they always had been.

Did you like your relationship before Duncan broke up with you? No, probably not. Of course, your opinion of him and that entire relationship was soured now, but even at the time, you were probably just going through the motions, doing things that couples do without any real heart in it.

So… What did you want? What did you actually like?

It was jarring to realize that your entire life had been dictated and finely tuned for you from the moment you were born, that even the things you wanted had been molded into new shapes by your parents or your peers or your teachers.

Once you realized how little of your life was in your own hands, you couldn’t get it out of your head. You always saw yourself as someone who was in control, as someone who couldn’t be told shit. And yet, you came to realize that that was far from the truth. It was as if suddenly everything about your life was something you hated. You hated your classes, you hated your friends, you hated running in the same circle as your ex, you hated all your obligations. Through the first few weeks of senior year, all you felt was frustration, disinterest, and absolute boredom with everything around you. Something had to change. And during the bullshit student council meeting, you became determined to make it happen.

So, over the course of that boring as all hell meeting, you tried to figure out what you wanted, and how you were going to get it. You set a goal for yourself, silly but helpful considering the structure you were so accustomed to: you’d set your plan in motion on your birthday. New year, new you, right?

Once you gave yourself that deadline, you then had to think about what exactly you were trying to accomplish - yes, you wanted to make some major changes, you wanted to, in a way, become a new person, but how were you going to do that?

You settled on four key things to keep in mind:

You wanted to piss off your parents big time - your dad barely acknowledged your existence and your mom coddled you, so actually upsetting them would be a feat unto itself. You had to become so awful that even your mother would stop making excuses for you.

You needed to drop your friends - the more you thought about all the people you grew up alongside, the more you realized that you weren’t particularly interested in relationships with any of them. Whether you made new friends or not wasn’t a priority, in fact you kind of liked the idea of just being left alone.

You had to figure out what you actually enjoyed - outside of skating, you had no idea what really interested you, what you would like to do with your life and your free time. You figured it was time to do some self reflection and focus on finding things that you’d actually enjoy.

And, most importantly, you had to get back at your ex. Yeah, it was stupid to be motivated by a boy, but nothing would make you happier than seeing him worked up and frustrated. Your focus wasn’t on trying to win him back or anything like that - you wanted to piss him off, to exact some kind of revenge for making you look like an idiot when he broke up with you at a party that all your friends had attended.

How you were going to accomplish these, however, was yet to be determined. But they were a damn good starting point, and they got you motivated to become an absolute nuisance to everyone around.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

The Friday following the student council meeting, you decided to first experiment with a little something, satiate a mild curiosity. To anyone else, it was probably the most mundane thing in the world, but to a high schooler who thought graduation was life or death, doing anything out of the ordinary felt nail-biting.

You were going to sit at a new lunch table.

You had just two days left until your birthday, until you’d officially set your plan in motion, so you still had a little more time to come up with something. So far, you couldn’t think of shit. You were already someone who was blunt and commanding and mean, whose thoughts and feelings were always on your face, so people were used to you being bossy and a little miserable - you couldn’t start being meaner or blunter, you just knew that wouldn’t be enough. Maybe you could start skipping class, maybe you could start flaking on friends, but somehow none of that felt like enough, like it wouldn’t make a statement. You had to really make an impression, to really set yourself up for a total ruination of your social status, you just hadn’t figured out how.

But a new lunch table was as good a starting point as any, right?

You chose a table at the far end of the lunchroom; customarily your group of friends, acquaintances, and ex sat centrally, surrounded by the jocks on one side and the academics on the other. The new table you chose was only occupied by two other people, a dorky little couple who looked at you funny when you sat as far from them as possible. In turn, you gave them an icy cold glare, prompting them to look away quickly, like you were a Medusa who could turn them to stone.

Your stupid little lunchroom plan was a bust, though. Five minutes into your peaceful lunch, your two closest friends, Amelia and Janet found you, each looking perplexed and put-off by your seat of choice. They looked around before lowering into the seats around you, their expression full of something akin to disgust, as if sitting at a different table was that offensive.

“What are we doing over here?” Amelia asked judgmentally, eyeing the couple at the opposite end of the table. Across the lunchroom, a few people (including Duncan) from your usual lunch table looked at you funny, “It’s like we’re exiled or something.”

So dramatic, you thought while staring harshly at her.

“Change of scenery.” You answered plainly, stabbing at the food in front of you. Amelia hummed in acknowledgement, but still made it quite clear that she didn’t agree with the decision.

“What, does this have something to do with Duncan?” She jabbed, receiving another nasty look from you, “So, he’s a jerk? Get over it.”

You should’ve known this idea was too simple to work. Of course they’d just follow you like the lemmings that they were, just as unable to make their own decisions as you were. Yeah, you definitely needed to try something bigger to scare them off.

Briefly, you thought that you could maybe tell them, just say point blank, “Amelia, Janet, I hate being around you and this friendship is done.” But, again, you figured that wouldn’t be good enough, that they’d laugh at your mean sense of humor even if you reiterated yourself. In this crowd, being mean was never enough to make your point, because all of you were nasty, not only to each other but to virtually everyone you met.

And despite your well-known attitude problem, you still cared about Amelia and Janet, flaws and all. These were the girls that you’d known since you were five years old, of course you worried about their feelings at least a little bit - nearly 13 years of friendship would do that to anyone. Guess you had more of a heart than you gave yourself credit for.

You definitely needed a foolproof plan to get out of this friendship, this social circle, this popular bubble that you’d always been trapped in. The friendship had to end without you saying so. You had to push them out until they finally gave up on you. Make it seem like it was their idea, that would definitely work on them.

As you schemed, Amelia and Janet chatted around you. Various acquaintances stopped by the table, all with the same question: what the hell were you guys doing sitting all the way out here? Even Duncan was amongst those that asked, trying to ignore the way you glared daggers at him. Amelia and Janet gave various responses, all of which put blame on you as if this simple little decision meant their utter ruination.

As Duncan was preparing to walk back to your usual lunch table, a commotion rose out in the hallway, the echo of rapid footfall drifting in through the doors. Multiple heads turned to face the cafeteria doors with curiosity, some people peeked out into the hall to check what the yelling was about, scurrying back to their friends to report what they’d seen. You, Amelia, Janet, and Duncan all waited silently, sharing raised brows and curious looks.

Not even a minute later, Eddie freaking Munson came crashing into the lunchroom, a look of total glee on his face as he cackled, not even remotely fazed by all the eyes on him. As he tumbled through the cafeteria doors, you jumped a little at the burst of sound. Eddie’s disruption turned everyone’s heads now, the lunchroom silent in shock and loathing as the resident outcast ran between tables, heading for the set of doors at the opposite end of the room. Your gaze was locked on the shit disturber as he blew past your table, carelessly running into Duncan in the process, but even that collision didn’t slow him down. Duncan yelled at him, but Eddie was focused on one goal, and if this were a cartoon you definitely would have seen dust kick up behind him from how quickly he was moving.

Not too far behind was Coach Miller, a look of absolute rage marring his puffy red face as he pursued Eddie. It didn’t even seem to cross his mind that he was making a fool of himself in front of the entire student body - his only focus was stopping the offender of whatever shenanigans currently pissed him off.

Your gaze turned back to the excited Eddie, an undeniable curiosity rising in you - what the hell did he do to piss off Coach Miller this bad? Sure, the coach was always pretty damn temperamental, but you couldn’t recall ever seeing him look quite this upset before.

Eddie paused at the cafeteria doors to turn and pull a mocking face at the coach before darting from the room, as if nothing in the world could touch him and he was unstoppable.

As Coach Miller disappeared after Eddie and students returned to their usual conversations, albeit with an air of awkwardness, you stared at the cafeteria doors thoughtfully.

That’s when an idea began to form.

You needed to take a page out of Eddie Munson’s book. If anyone in this school knew how to be a thorn in everyone’s side, it was him. So, you spent the remainder of your lunch brainstorming, trying to figure out how to channel even a sliver of Eddie’s energy; you only chimed into the conversation when someone spoke to you directly.

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In the middle of fifth period, you still weren’t quite sure what your game plan was, but you at least had a vague starting point. While your history teacher rambled on about some significant European war that you couldn’t begin to care about, you tapped your pencil as you thought about Eddie Munson (a sentence that very nearly grossed you out).

You’ve known about him since your freshman year - at the time, he was a year ahead of you, but since then he’d been held back. People always sneered when talking about him, as if Eddie was the most offensive thing they’d ever encountered, as if he was some kind of plague. He went against all social norms you’d learned up to that point, he was contradictory to everything you’d ever been taught about social conduct and likeability - he wore ratty clothes, listened to scary music, acted out in the most theatrical ways possible, and never seemed to give a shit what anyone thought.

You had never spoken to Eddie personally. Through the years you’d had a few classes together, including your math class this year, so you’ve witnessed some of his antics. But really, you knew nothing about the guy. Just the things that everyone else told you, and those things were nothing good. Whether or not Eddie was as bad as people said didn’t matter to you. His reputation was shit, and in this instance that’s exactly what you needed.

So, how were you going to ruin your senior year with the help of Eddie Munson? Well, at the very least, maybe you first had to have a conversation with him. It would be pretty stupid to walk up to him and go “hey, Munson, I know everyone here hates you, how about we chat and you make them hate me, too!”

Maybe you needed to find a way to hang out with him? Pretend to be friends long enough that the rest of the student body begins to ostracize you? With a little amused huff, an even worse thought crossed you: maybe you needed to pretend you were interested in Eddie Munson for a while, that was sure to piss just about everyone off. Especially Duncan.

But then the idea gave you pause.

You could not pretend to flirt with, or even date, Eddie fucking Munson. No chance in hell that would work. No way he would go for it, and no way you’d be able to tolerate him long enough to convince anyone that you were even remotely into him.

But… maybe?

Shit, what a stupid idea.

Or maybe it was a brilliant one.

You mulled it over a few minutes longer - if you were going to, somehow, convince Eddie Munson to pretend to date you, you needed to offer him something in exchange, that was obvious. You needed to give him a good reason to help you out, or this plan was never going to work. Its chances of success already seemed slim to none.

You had one idea, though you weren’t entirely certain if he’d go for it.

Your Uncle Tom was a cop, had been with the force your entire life - and you’d bet he’s probably had at least one run-in with Eddie. Maybe you’d tell Eddie that you could get cops to leave him alone, to stop watching him wearily whenever they were around. You couldn’t promise him too much, of course, but you knew at the very least that you could get your uncle to leave him alone. Or you could even take the fall here and there for whatever trouble Eddie inevitably lands himself in - what cop was stupid enough to arrest the niece of a cop and the daughter of a man who owned half of Hawkins?

It wasn’t foolproof, and you knew there were flaws to be found, but it just might work.

So, with your mind made up, you rip a scrap of paper from your notebook and scribble out a quick message:

Let’s make a deal. Sunday. You pick the time and place. Locker #436

You’d hoped that Eddie would be smart enough to realize that you wanted him to write you back, to drop his own stupid note in your locker so you could meet up and tell him your stupid, crazy idea. God, this better work.

You swiftly raise your hand in the air, giving a small impatient wave when your teacher didn’t acknowledge you right away, instead trying to focus on his lecture.

He rolled his eyes when he spotted your hand in the air, pointing at you and saying in an annoyed monotone, “What’s so important that you’re interrupting?”

Without any hesitation, you state bluntly, “Lady troubles.”

The teacher looks shocked by how plainly you stated it. But because it was you that said it and not someone else, your peers didn’t dare laugh, although a couple boys seemed to choke in surprise or amusement.

“Go, go…” Your teacher waved you off before continuing his lecture, wanting to forget the small interaction entirely.

You exited the room and roamed the halls confidently. Eddie’s locker wasn’t hard to miss - he was one of the students that decorated the metal with crude permanent marker sketches, and the school was too cheap to care about replacing or painting over it. As you approached Eddie’s locker, you checked around to make sure no one spotted you; it wasn’t as if you were committing a crime, but you didn’t need anyone wondering what you were up to in case this plan didn’t work.

So, you slipped the note into his locker, returned to class, and waited impatiently for the final bell of the day to ring, hoping that Eddie would actually stop by his locker and not just leave school without ever seeing your note.

When the end of the day came, it took everything in your power not to rush back to your own locker - just in case, you didn’t want him spotting you there. Why all the secrecy, you sure as hell didn’t know, but you nonetheless continued it.

So, you waited, stopping into the bathroom to check your makeup, walking with Amelia and Janet as they stopped at their own lockers. As the three of you exited the building and walked into the parking lot, you pretended to remember something, telling them that you needed to run back inside. You said your quick goodbyes and went back to wandering the halls, finally opening up your own locker.

It was stupid that your heart leapt when you saw a crudely torn piece of paper resting on top of some of your belongings.

You opened it quickly, eagerly reading the metalhead’s response:

Picnic table behind the football field, 4.

God, what were you getting yourself into.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #em #dos and donts

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astraariel · 9 months

Text

scarlett love

pairing: sanji x fem!reader

summary: you forgot him, chose to let Sanji go, but was that enough? would the universe leave you alone and let you live in peace?

word count: 4.1K

warnings: cursing; spoilers (?) just mention of a character from the whole cake island arc, it’s a modern!au so I don't mention anything about the actual arc!

tags: angst; fluff; hanahaki disease; modern!au; reconciliation; second chances; unrequited turned requited; slight self-hate; happy endings

author’s note: okkkkay here it is. so many of you guys asked for it so here’s pt 2 to eternal snow! I initially wanted to post the mihawk fic first that i'm working on but I can’t finish writing it for the life of me so I decided to work on this one instead lol.

like I mentioned before, this is part 2 to this fic so obvi read that before you read this one!

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

They say people who have the surgery are doomed for life.

How could they choose to never love again; how could they deliberately go through with the surgery knowing they would never have those emotions again?

But in actuality, it was the choice of forgetting about that love.

People don’t know the grievances and the strength it takes to choose to forget the love of your life. They don’t know the despair of being in love with someone wholeheartedly knowing they don’t love you back.

That you would never remember those emotions for whom you loved.

You saw it as this: if you couldn’t live to love your person, you wouldn’t bear to love at all.

So in that way, you won.

You gained the power to no longer grieve for your love because you simply couldn’t remember him.

Since hanahaki disease was rare, there weren’t too many recovery patients to base knowledge on since many of the victims chose to die rather than to be saved.

So you were honestly going in blind.

Nami would sometimes ask you if you could remember anything, a nervous look on her face, you knew she remembered your past love, but the doctor had told her to not mention anything to you in your recovery period. You think she asked out of curiosity.

Or maybe fear?

But every time you’d just tell her that you couldn’t, your head would hurt if you thought too hard and too long about who you had lost.

If you could remember specific memories, they weren't fully visualized, they were static, like when an old TV was out of range from the signal and would struggle to picture the channel.

All you could remember was his silhouette, his figure blurry and his name was always on the tip of your tongue but you could never place your finger on it.

You remember during your first check-up, the doctor had asked you if you could describe your past love,

“I'm not sure.”

Your voice had been wobbly like you were on the verge of crying. Tears had pricked your eyes, along with the feeling of not being able to breathe even though those damn flowers were gone.

Not being able to understand why?

That feeling went away a week later.

You laugh at yourself now, chiding yourself for being ridiculous back then.

At what point could you have allowed yourself to be so deeply in love with someone that it was killing you? You could never understand.

It was an absurd, abysmal idea that you had ever gotten to that point.

While the doctor said the following months would be difficult getting used to your new life of having one less emotion, you were fine.

It had helped that Nami had stayed by your side, and when she couldn’t Sanji would.

Sanji was an angel.

He tended to your every need, always made sure you didn’t lift a finger even after you told him multiple times you could do it yourself.

But he always reassured you he didn’t mind.

You were sad to hear that he stopped seeing Pudding. It was honestly too bad because she was good for him, he deserves someone who can love and care for him just as much as he cares for others.

Nevertheless, you were glad he was here for you.

The sound of music playing softly in the background comforts you as you shuffle through your kitchen making dinner.

You and Sanji have recently started having weekly dinners with each other, an idea he came up with.

“We can update each other about our lives, good ole fashion face-to-face interaction.”

“I don’t think my life is going to change too much in the week we don’t see each other, Sanji”

The sound of the door ringing pulls you from your thoughts, drying your hands with a towel, you walk over to the front door.

The cool November breeze greets you as soon as you open the door, Sanji’s figure fills your view.

The coat he’s wearing to protect himself from the wind encapsulates him in a way that makes you smile instinctively, you can see his red ears peeking from under his blond hair.

“Come in, come in, I was just finishing up dinner.”

“Oh, can I help you with anything else?” he offers while shrugging off his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack beside the front door. “Or are you not allowing me into your kitchen again?” he smirks toward you.

You roll your eyes and scoff, “It’s my turn to make dinner, you cook for a living, it's my time to shine now, dude.” He chuckles and begins to set the table for the two of you.

The warm food fills the plate in your hand, placing it on the counter, you grab another plate. “So, how’s work?”

Sanji grabs both of the plates and brings them to the table, setting them down, he looks back at you. “Ah, the old man’s got me working late most days.”

You smile softly at the scene; since you can remember you and Sanji have been able to work in tandem. Back when Nami first introduced you, it was like a pull connecting the two of you, also guiding and leading the two of you in perfect harmony.

It was nice.

Finishing your dinner, Sanji grabs his cup, “That was delicious, thank you.”

“Well I did have a decent teacher,” you say into the glass smiling, gulping down the liquid you set it back down and look at Sanji.

He goes to say something before he’s interrupted by a cough.

Sanji turns his head and coughs into a handkerchief he pulled from his pocket, he quickly wipes his mouth before looking back at you, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

Shaking your head in acknowledgement you begin cleaning up the dinner table.

“Oh I forgot, I bought flowers, they’re in the living room let me grab them real quick.” Sanji stands quickly.

Turning, you watch him walk away, not catching the lone petal falling out of his pocket.

♡‧₊˚

Vinsmoke Sanji has done a lot of things.

Some of which he regrets, but others he stands by, but there was one that met both criteria.

And that was you.

He was glad he met you, that he was able to spend time being with you, loving you, and knowing that you loved him back.

But he regrets hurting you. He regrets letting himself be temporarily infatuated with Pudding. Sanji had laughed in the face of fate, and in return, he got what he deserved.

His impending end.

The petals had shown up the day you went into the hospital.

While you were given a second chance at life, Sanji had just signed his away.

He remembers the memory of Nami telling him what had happened. He had it permanently seared into his brain, never allowing himself to forget the moment.

Her eyes were red, face hot with anger when she pulled up to his house.

“You absolute idiot.” He hadn’t even fully opened the door before she was swearing at him, cursing him to the ends of the earth over what he had done. “You did this. You caused that pain…if I hadn't found her…,” her hands had started punching his chest.

“She would have been gone, all because of you.”

A part of Sanji died that day.

So when he got the same disease you had, he knew he deserved it.

Wasn’t it only right that he got the same death sentence that almost took you away?

It was slow at first, from what Nami had told him about your situation, Sanji knew this was how it started.

The first few weeks were bearable, he could go about his daily life without causing any suspicion. No one would ask if he was okay or anything, just simply being able to cough into a tissue and discard it quickly.

Then the blossoms came.

After one terrible night of constantly coughing up blood and flower blossoms, Sanji did some research. He knew the full blooms were next along with the finishing blow of the roots. It had only been a month since you had your surgery, and yet his hanahaki was a lot more accelerated in comparison to yours.

A month since he had realized he was deathly in love with you.

But he could bear this burden. Who was he to complain about his death trickling closer than it normally should?

Sanji remembered the moment he realized his disease would finish him more swiftly, that he was faster along than he typically should be; whether it was because the universe knew you could never love him back or it was simply his punishment for what he did.

Probably both.

Even though he knew he could easily fix the problem, he didn't have the right to get a second chance.

How could he?

How long did you spend hiding your condition away, not even when he had broken things off, before then? How long were you hurting because you knew he was lying when he said he loved you?

The gall he would have to have to go through with the surgery?

Absolutely not.

But deep in his heart, he also couldn’t bring himself to forget you. He’d rather be a coward and a liar than choose a life undeserving of him.

He would rather die than forget you, to never be able to love you again would be death itself.

He hated himself for what he did to you. The insolence he had to hurt someone as caring as you, why did he take advantage of that?

He himself every day.

If he had to live with constantly coughing up blood and bending over the toilet puking up flower petals just for you to live your life? Yeah, he could do that. He could live with the pain of knowing that you would never love him back.

That you could never love him back.

It quite literally was in human nature that he would never be saved unless he did the surgery, since you couldn’t even love anyone anymore.

Sanji’s hand lifts his handkerchief up to his mouth, his body heaving with a hard cough of petals.

He sighs.

♡‧₊˚

The TV light shines on both you and Sanji’s forms as the movie comes to an end, the ending credits miniaturizing as the screen recommends a shitty Christmas movie that has the both of you turning to the other.

“That was an unnecessarily long movie.” Sanji’s comment makes you laugh.

“Right? God, it was dragging on for a really long time.” Shaking his head he stands up to place the popcorn bucket on the kitchen counter.

You follow him holding the cups that held lemonade two hours ago. “It’s getting late, I should probably go.”

“Yeah, probably, oh wait-I bought something for you, meant to give it to you when we had dinner at your place but I forgot.” Sanji’s voice trails as he goes off to his bedroom.

You stand there for a couple of minutes before checking the time, “Yo, Sanji, did’ya get lost?” laughing to yourself, you walk over into the bedroom. Your eyes immediately meet Sanji’s form hunched over on the ground.

A gasp falls from your lips as you rush over to him. “Sanji, oh god, are you okay what’s wrong-”

You cut yourself off when you bend down to look at him, there you see a pool of blood on the hardwood floor, petals scattered around the scene with a full flower bloom sitting in his hands.

“What?” you can’t breathe.

Sanji says your name but you don’t hear him, your brows knit together as you look up at him. “I don’t understand why are you coughing up petals?”

No? This couldn’t be happening.

Your heart breaks.

Who did Sanji love so dearly that he was cursed with the same disease that had you in its chokehold not long ago?

You would never wish this on anyone, no one deserved to live through the hurt of having unrequited love.

“You weren’t,” he wipes his mouth, “you weren’t supposed to find out.”

“I don’t-why wouldn't you want to tell me? If anything, I’d be the only person able to understand. Sanji, who is it?” your eyes scan his face.

Sanji’s ragged breathing fills the air between the two of you. “I can’t.”

You furrow your brows even more, shaking your head. “Please just tell me so I can help-”

“You can’t.”

“What do you mean, I can’t? You’re not making sense.”

Sanji closes his eyes. “It’s you.”

You stop breathing, the figure in your memory rushes to the forefront of your brain like a tsunami.

In the past the figure was always blurry, never in frame in your mind, only being able to trace his silhouette, but now it was different.

It was like he was right in front of you like you could smell him, feel his hands in yours, his warmth. Feel his lips against your lips when he-

“It was you.” your voice was quiet, “You were the one I loved.”

His eyes snap at yours, a gasp falling from his lips.

“The person I loved so deeply… that it caused me so much pain.”

And there it was, the fog had been lifted.

“How could I have forgotten?” How ironic the entire thing was.

“Why would I ever forget about my love for you, Sanji?” you look at him, “What grief did you cause me?”

A tidal wave of emotions, affections, all poured out of your soul and into your memories. The months of coughing up petal after petal till they turned to full flower blooms. The fear that a root would pop up once you pulled your tissue from your face.

The pain and the hurt that Sanji had caused you.

The pain of knowing that he didn't love you anymore.

It all came rushing back.

“Why would you keep this from me?” you were getting angry, but was it for the right reason?

Hadn’t you done the same with him? Hadn’t you kept it from all the people you loved as well?

“You know why I went through with the surgery? It wasn’t Nami who made me, well not partially, but why I allowed myself to let her drive me to the hospital was because I didn't want you to suffer.” your eyes were burning, the tears threatening to fall.

“I don't understand?” Of course, he wouldn’t.

“You were obviously unhappy, Sanji. If I removed myself from the equation, it would solve everything and at…at first I thought dying was the solution I really did.” your eyes drop, “And maybe Nami finding me was a saving grace but, I originally wasn't gonna do anything.”

“Week after week, Sanji, I was drowning. I wanted to yell at anyone who would listen and ask why I couldn't have anything, why couldn’t I be happy? That the universe had some sort of fucking vendetta against me.”

“So I decided to let you go, to choose to live a life of unknown heartache, and when I finally thought I had accomplished that. The universe just spits in my face by cursing you.”

“Don’t you see it? We don’t belong together, Sanji.” The anger was gone now, all that was left was emptiness.“We have the signs, we need to heed them and move on.”

Sanji says your name with a plea, but you ignore him. “Just get the surgery, stop hurting the both of us.”

“It does us no good if you're dead.” And with that, you walk out of the bedroom and out the front door.

♡‧₊˚

The quiet murmurs of the newscaster talking about the weather for the week could barely be heard from the running water you were using to wash the dishes.

You haven't seen Sanji in a couple of weeks, not since he announced that you were the one whom he was in love with.

And definitely not since you remembered he was the one whom you had loved before.

And while at first, you were angry. Angry at him for lying and keeping such vital information from you.

It later turned to guilt.

Guilt for getting angry at him. Guilt for causing him pain.

But it wasn’t your fault, it’s not like you chose not to love him, you physically couldn’t anymore. You signed that ability off months ago.

But you also missed him. Since you weren’t talking to him, you weren’t having your weekly dinners or your impromptu movie nights anymore.

You missed just talking to him. You missed the lame jokes he’d tell in hopes of hearing your laugh, that smile he’d get whenever he spoke about a new recipe.

You missed him.

But you were also confused.

After he had revealed that he loved you and you had remembered that your past love was him, it became too much for you to handle.

Glancing at the moon, you dry your hands on a towel and walk into the living room. The weatherman was currently informing you of a chance of rain tomorrow during the already cold late January weather.

Sighing you go to sit down before something catches your eyes. A picture frame that hangs on your wall glints as you walk toward it.

It was a photo of you and Sanji looking at the camera with wide smiles on display from Sanji’s birthday two years prior. On top of your heads sat a birthday hat colored blue for the sea theme your friends had thrown together as a joke for the blonde that year.

You remember how you felt that day, the anxiety of wanting to get Sanji the perfect gift and when he finally opened it, he had hugged you which had you blushing like crazy while you swatted his “thank yous” away.

God, where did this deja vu come from?

It was weird, you weren't sure what it was.

It felt like your entire being was full. Full of intense and overwhelming emotions, an emotion you shouldn't feel. An emotion that was eradicated from your life when you stepped out of that hospital.

But here it was, rearing its big ugly face once again.

For Sanji.

You stumble back as if you had been shocked with electricity.

Looking around your apartment you close your eyes.

How could this happen? Why were you still being punished again?

You had endured the pain, chose to get rid of it and now you’ve been having to live with knowing that Sanji also was experiencing the exact same pain.

Sanji.

How could you have been so cold? Telling him to do the surgery? What was wrong with you?

You missed him. You missed your love for him. The feelings you’d get when he’d look your way. Sanji was your ambrosia and you needed him to survive.

But you didn’t miss how you felt when he chose another over you. Those feelings you wished you hadn’t remembered.

You weren't sure how you were still able to feel Sanji's love. But here you were.

An anomaly that you were.

Guess that shows how deep your love truly was rooted.

How could you have allowed yourself to forget?

The drive to Sanji’s apartment was quiet, opting to not play music or turn the radio on so that you could think clearly with your new (re) developed emotions.

Pulling up to the driveway, you step out of your car. The jacket you have on trapping your heat from the cold winds of the night.

The few steps to the front door felt like a lifetime. The moonlight provided a little comfort to your restless self.

Exhaling, you bring your hand to knock at the door, a small part of you hoping Sanji wasn’t home so you could go home and pretend like nothing happened.

The door swings open revealing Sanji. His eyes were wide like he couldn’t believe you were standing in front of him.

“Hey…can I come in?” you look up at him expectantly.

“Yeah, yeah come in.” Sending him a quick smile you walk past him and into the living room.

He shuts the door and faces you, you turn and finally get a good look at him in the light.

He looked worse for wear, his eyes had bags under them, a sign he hadn’t been sleeping if at all. Whether that was because of your argument or his condition, you didn't know. One hand was in his pocket and the other was fiddling with his handkerchief.

“How are you…” signaling your hand at him, “I mean physically, how are you? What stage?”

He looks away, “well…I’m still living,” he chuckles quietly.

You sigh.

God the two of you were truly messed up.

“It all came back.”

“What?” he questions.

Your eyes begin to glaze over, “My memories, everything.” you wet your lips, “All of it, Sanji.”

“It just-all came back…on top of our argument, of you telling me you loved me.” Tears fell down your cheeks. “Of how I felt when you were-when you were with Pudding.”

He says your name.

“And I hated it, I hated remembering how I felt, Sanji. I remember pitying myself, wondering what I had done wrong, why you hadn’t loved me anymore,” he says your name again, “but I also remembered how I felt loving you.” you look up at him with your tear-streaked face.

“And I will never regret loving you, not then, definitely not now. I also don’t regret forgetting, because I understand why I did it. I loved you enough to be able to let you go. To be able to know you’ll live your life happily, whether that’s with me or someone else. I didn’t care. Just that you were happy.”

“But I wasn’t-”

You cut him off, “I knew you didn't love me how I loved you, but I still knew you cared. So if I had died, even from death, I would have hated myself for hurting you. So I chose to forget.” you wipe your cheek, “I just wish you had never gotten that godforsaken thing as well.”

“Sanji I…I love you wholeheartedly. You encompass my entire existence. I live for you. Even now, when I didn't remember how I felt for you. It was there. My love for you was still inside. And it always will be. I think even if you hadn’t told me you loved me now, I would have remembered anyway. Simply because that’s who I am, I am my love for you, you consume my entire soul.” You probably looked like a mess.

“You look beautiful.” Did you say that out loud?

You smile softly, “So when you admitted that you loved me, that I was inadvertently hurting you, I couldn’t take it. I had been the monster I sought to eliminate. So I pushed you away.” you sigh, “I pushed you away because I didn't want to go through the same pain again. I was selfish if you had just done the surgery, I'd be able to forget about this again and you wouldn't even remember.” you walk toward Sanji. “I’ve learned that I can’t run away from you anymore. And I’ve realized that I don’t want to lose you again.”

“So let me save you.”

Sanji’s face was red, his eyes were blurry with tears, his fist clenching his handkerchief filled with petals and blooms.

“I’m so sorry.” Sanji’s voice trembles, “I am so sorry, I caused you so much pain, if I could take it back I would. And I don’t even deserve you, I’m not worthy of your love, but if you allow me, let me make it up.”

You close the gap between the two of you and pull his lips toward your own. They’re slightly chapped and both of your guy’s faces are wet but you don’t care. You feel his fingers carding through your hair, pulling you deeper.

This kiss was different from any others before, this one was filled with desire and want but it was also filled with joy and love.

You were finally happy.

You pull away first, breathing heavily and your face flushed, “You already are.”

“I love you so much, please never forget.” you wipe a stray tear, cradling his face.

You want to commit this memory in your brain. No more forgetting, no more letting go. To make sure that for the night, no cough was to be heard, no petal was to be hidden,

just two lovers finally with one another, forever.

#astraariel♡#one piece #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #sanji x y/n #sanji x you #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x y/n

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bonny-kookoo · 1 year

Text

Jungkook: Restless 🔞

In which Jungkook is simply restless, especially when making love to you.

Tags/Warnings: WAY MORE ANGST WHY IS IT SO ANGSTY, Idol!Jungkook, ADHD sex position challenge I guess?, Roma made me do it, obviously smut, multiple positions duh, primal feel?, angsty sex, denial is a river in egypt, protected sex (reader has an IUD), cum, body fluids oops, sweat?, he cums inside and outside lol, biting, manhandling, oops my hand slipped and now I wrote porn with feels again

Length: 1.6k baby, look at that

-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶--⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶

In the time of knowing him, Jungkook had always been restless.

He can't sit still for long, can't concentrate on one thing only, has to do something at all times it seems. Only sometimes, rarely, does he become lazy or tired, it seems. You cherish those moments just as much as the rest of the time you spend with him.

Now, you and Jungkook aren't necessarily.. a thing, at least not traditionally. He worries a lot; about his job, about you, about what could happen to the both of you if anything ever went public. But there's also this sinful feeling of doing something you're not supposed to, like a kid sneaking candy behind their parents backs. There's no denial even for you that you can't help but go back every single time. The feeling of longing sometimes just.. overwhelming.

You know this is gonna hurt you at some point. Maybe it won't hurt him as much, but it will hurt you, most definitely. He's sacrificed a lot and often throughout his lifetime already- who says he won't sacrifice you as well?

He's an Idol, a performer, singer, entertainer. He's made for the stage, made to be loved by millions, and you'd never force him to forget about that and leave this life behind. No. He's got it all, and he deserves it all. It's going to be fine. You'll just enjoy the times you have with him, the memories you're making.

It's not just sex, after all. You both often simply spend time with each other as friends as well. And you believe that that's what he actually sees you as- a friend, who's just a bit more intimate than a friend should be. And while his love might just be a daydream made up by your head to make your heart hurt less, his lust for you is most definitely real.

You don't know why he finds you so attractive, and you'll probably never fully understand it. Maybe it's because you're.. there. You're available. You're all he gets in this life, without fearing the consequences.

Jungkook is an old-school romantic with a twist here and there. He holds doors for you, helps you sit down at the dinner table whenever he cooks, opens tightly closed jars for you. He's a horribly cruel man in that department- because he always gives you attention, and something that might feel like it could potentially be love- but it's not. It's just a plastic rose that's going to catch dust at some point, never to bloom and never to rot either.

It'll just be thrown away, polluting the environment. Just like him leaving you one day will pollute your heart with feelings heavy and burning like molten lava, merciless.

"I- fuck." He gasps out as he halters his hips for a second, grip on them loosening as he kisses down your spine, your back arching downwards as you fall into the pillows below, entire bed already a mess. He's out of breath, and so are you- but you know he's not done with you yet. He's never just a hit-and-run kind of guy. He works his body until it literally gives in, never satisfied with just a one-time-high with you.

And he's also a carnal lover, raw and untamed.

He bites your skin, marks it up for you to remember, but also for himself to admire. Unbeknownst to you, he's hopelessly in love with you, no matter how hard he tries to distract himself, or scold his own emotions for acting out like that. You're just going to get hurt, and he knows this. He wants to end it every single time, but he also crawls back to you every night it seems, desperate to feel your skin beneath his fingertips, taste you on his tongue. He's starving, even though he's currently taking his fill.

Maybe that's why he feels so desperate every time he's with you like this. Maybe that's why he feels as if nothing is ever enough. As if he can't get close enough.

It scares him, admittedly.

With his hands on your hips, he slips out of your heat, obscene sounds accompanying every movement as he maneuvers you onto your back, hands pushing your knees apart in an impatient manner, before he slips back inside. With his knees digging into the mattress below, he holds your wrists close, pulls you into every thrust like that, jaw clenched and eyes unmoving, focused on you and the way you look.

Divine. Enchanting. Absolutely beautiful.

He wants to cry at how your skin seems like it's made of glass with the slight layer of sweat. He used to hate it on himself, used to hate it on others as well, but in a weird way, when it comes to intimacy with you, nothing seems to bother him at all. Not your slick coating his thighs. Not your spit drooling down his length whenever you give him head. Not the cum he covers you with at the end of every round.

He wants it all. He wants you.

His knees seem to ache after just a few moments, muscles itching to move in other ways as he pulls out yet again, making you whine. "I can't-" He stammers, unsure what he wants to say. He doesn't know why he's especially restless this time. It's like nothing feels quite right.

Until you climb onto his lap, pushing back his chest to get into a proper position to ride him. It's moments like these that simply hurt him, because you're always so attentive to his needs. You don't seem to need any verbal communication with him at all to know what he needs, what he wants.

And yet, you're oblivious of his feelings, or so he thinks.

He wants to keep you safe, hold you close, show you off and hide you at the same time. He just wants you, nothing else, and that's not just his lust speaking for him.

No, he's not like that. He knows what's right and what's wrong. He knows when to listen to his heart, and when to ignore it. But with you, he can't. It's all so loud, his thoughts, his feelings, his brain won't shut up about you it feels like.

He sits up with you again, pushes you closer by the small of your back, crosses his legs and finally kisses you again.

He keeps kissing to a minimum most of the time, hates how good it feels, how comfortable it is, how much it affects him. Your lips are so soft, moving in perfect sync, and when you tease his piercing or bite his lip, he just can't help but growl out because you just have to be sent from hell by the devil himself with the mission to drive him mad.

There's no way a person can fill his mind and body up like this simply by existing.

He's desperate by now. His cum already sticks to your tits, has already made its way down to your belly, some of it even rubbed off on his own chest, but he still isn't satisfied. He's close, so close, and his muscles are yelling at him to stop and rest, but he can't stop now.

"You close?" He murmurs between his open mouthed kisses, lips traveling along your jawline now before his head falls into the crook of your neck, teeth gripping any flesh he can as he marks you up. You just whine, and nod. You stopped trying to count your highs with him. It's surely never just one, however, that much you're sure of.

You know by now how to tell when he's close as well. His actual end, that is.

The muscles in his thighs tremble visibly under the stress he's forcing them under. The veins along his arms and hands are prominent, sweat dripping along his neck and chest. He will become more vocal, start to whine, even growl, hips becoming erratic as he collects every little last drop of strength to make sure you'll finish alongside him. "Hold it." He demands, teeth clenched together as he suddenly becomes more forceful, the sound of skin against skin loud and obscene echoing off his bedroom walls, as you whimper beneath him. "Fucking hold it.!" He growls out, palms grabbing your thighs before they slip beneath the small of your back, lifting you up a little for that very specific angle he knows will send him off the edge. "Cum baby, fuck!" He finally tells you, before your hips start to move erratically, no longer under your control as your orgasm hits you full force.

You don't notice the way his cum stays inside, this time. Because he doesn't pull out, keeps you close, falls to his side with you in his arms.

He doesn't know why he feels so incredibly emotional this time. As if he just cant hold himself together anymore, if he doesn't have his arms around you. The room smells like sex, air stuffy, bodies awfully slick from your entire endeavor. Usually, it ends like this. Usually, he will part from you, shower by himself to give you time to get your strength back up enough to clean yourself up after him. He hates leaving you on your own like that, wants to care for you before and after the act because that's how you're supposed to be treated, but he knows, the longer he keeps you close in a headspace like that, the more he will end up hurting.

But tonight, he can't bring himself to leave you.

Tonight, he holds you tenderly, kisses fluttering against your bare shoulder, as he feels your breath start to even out.

Tonight, he will clean you up first, before he will change the sheets and shower himself.

Tonight, he will let you sleep in his bed together with him while he airs out the room, cold chills forcing you both under the covers that smell like fresh laundry and unfulfilled dreams.

Tonight, he will let you have his heart.

Tonight, he will break.

And so will you.

-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶--⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶-⊶

#bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook imagine

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xenocorner · 5 months

Text

Here's some little christmas gifts for some amazing mutuals that have made this year a whole lot more bearable with their amazing content and their amazing interactions and just being amazing in general :']

Long post ahead so divider here to spare your scrolling. (I am also probably gonna get a bit sappy so if that makes you cringe: you've been warned lol)

@lilbitofmac Thank you for being my introduction to the fandom here on tumblr :'''D I really think I wouldn't have stuck around if it weren't for your initial warmth and encouragement. Your Tony remains my fave Tony I go feral over your art orz I may or may not have the clingy ironstrange drawing as a phone wallpaper-

Hope next year is kinder on you man! I know we don't really talk outside of tags/replies, but if you ever need smthn I can help with my inbox is always there.

@strxngetimes I'm just tagging this one blog because I don't want to spam all your other blogs lmao. Thank you for sharing your interpretations of the characters with us, not only the rps with other muses but also the headcanons and brainrot. It's always such a pleasure both to see you on the timeline writing with other muses and on the inbox with the disaster man.

I specially like how you include his Cloak in the mix and give it a personality- I absolutely adore the Cloak :'') So here's it being all clingy to the disaster man. Hope to see more of you having fun with all ur muses in the coming year :D

@starkkawajiri Pretty art!! Hilarious and heart wrenching character interactions!!! I love your designs and lore building so much. Fanboying over the same disaster man and making him suffer always brings a smile to my face. I've wanted to draw your Strange for a while now, so this was also the perfect excuse, I love him so much you have no idea-

Can't wait to see more of your amazing designs and lore stuff for this AU! (and anything else you create next year :])

@nekojetto I think your Strange is the purest Strange there is and the fact that it's based off Supreme makes that so much more impressive. Your animatics are simply breath taking, and whenever I go back to check your concepts and sketches for character interactions I always get a smile on my face :D

I'm sorry I haven't gotten to the collab just yet :'') Plz know I still have it in mind, haven't forgotten about it and am still just as excited to finally get to it as I was the first day!

@infiniteeight8 Your words make me cry and laugh so much all the time :'') You write the disaster men so beautifully both in serious, fluffy, angsty and funny situations. Reading ur stuff keeps the creative juices flowing!

I remember you liked the vampire Stephen prompt you were sent, so here's some of that, even if it's more halloween-y than christmas-y.

#mac I wasn't entirely sure on how to draw you but I saw u using Liam Hemsworth and Jensen Ackles so I went with them for refs #hope that's alright :']#Archer I wanted to draw more of ur muses but time got the best of me :''') plz know I adore how you write all of them #you really make their characters justice hhhh

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flyingfabio · 5 days

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Why have you had Pecco tag blocked? Did he pull the same media shit with Fabio? I am new just 2 months here

hello anon and welcome! ok so this is gonna be long because i want to explain and avoid people taking it the wrong way. first i have to admit it's been a long time and i don't remember exactly what event promoted me to block pecco's tag but it was probably not long after his dui in 2022. believe it or not, it had nothing to do with what pecco could have said about fabio, because i think pecco appreciates and respects him a lot and i don't remember pecco saying anything bad about fabio (in the media at least lol).

so. i think i already spoke about it but pecco has a habit of saying things that come out as ignorant or as things a '''spoiled brat''' would say. like him and jack miller moaning about not being 'test riders' to ducati, while as a factory rider you know you have to lead developmental work and while ducati was already delegating a lot of the work to the satellite teams anyway (pramac mostly). his reponse after his dui that was half-assed and that he deleted from his socials two days after. often not taking full responsibility for his many crashes etc.

pecco is also guilty (and it's not his fault tbf) of being ducati's number one rider and by this point i think y'all know my griefs with ducati. i don't want to go into details, but it's how they manage riders and the whole way they operate that piss me off. as an example, the way they dealt with pecco's dui really rubbed me off the wrong way. basically they tried with their life to brush it off under the rug, they sent threats to a journalist on whatsapp and eventually blacklisted him from ducati events for a year after he asked about this incident in the press conference because yaknow... why should a championship contender in one of the most famous motorsports being convicted for dui be a big deal right?? also in 2022 when fabio was fighting for his life alone on his shitty yamaha, ducati sending half-veiled orders to his satellite teams to basically not race pecco didn't go well with me obviously. and it's not like it's only assumptions, zarco admitted it on tv and the way some of the ducati management looked at enea who didn't give a shit about orders and raced pecco anyway made it obvious. can you believe people were discussing the possibility of ducati riders letting pecco pass if he was lower than 7th or something and fabio was leading in the gp of the title decider to prevent fabio from winning the championship? people nowadays might not find ducati having 8 bikes that bad because they're all fighting each other but not so long ago the fight included another manufacturer and you might wonder if this situation isn't an open door for manipulations we don't want to see ever in our sport...

AND it was a period around here (the tumblrina palace) when SOME pecco fans were mmh... extreme and unsufferable to say the least. and like i know i'm a fabio extremist and i know i can piss people off (sometimes i'm annoying myself lol), but i don't go and publish fucking tumblr polls about '''whom from my most behated motorsports men should be guillotined''' with marc and fabio (obviously) listed as choices... you could understand how i didn't want to ever see this on my dash (never felt better than after blocking that person). also generally their attitude of 'pecco never does anything wrong' when he DOES do wrong is tiring at some point...

#like i'm sorry but throwing your citroen c4 in a ditch because you're drunk IS wrong 😭#anyways #throwing my two cents as an aspiring veteran of motogpblr.....#motogp #yeah i'm putting this in the tag because there are a lot of new people here and a bit of context doesn't hurt #*ask #anon

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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WIBTA if I posted my art from a zine early?

I (23nb) joined a zine for a semi obscure 2000s manga/anime as a page artist with two of my friends. I enjoy this media but I don't really consider myself in the fandom, I only joined because one of my aforementioned friends is a huge fan of it and the other friend is also a casual enjoyer and we thought it would be fun if we all did a zine together.

However.

Most zines have a timeline of around 9-10 months from beginning to publishing but this one's been in production for almost 2 years. I've been in a few zines and this one has the worst organization I've ever seen in any project. The timeline on the discord only covered the first 5 months and had no estimate for how long the production would be, but a year and a half for publishing is pretty unheard of. The only check-in for progress that I remember didn't even require sending in your piece, you just had to say if you were finished or not and only a handful of the 30ish people on the discord responded lmao. Both of my friends ghosted at this point and the Singular mod (there might be two mods. I can't really tell) didn't dm them to see if they still wanted to participate or anything. Since there is only one person doing everything me and a few others have asked if they need any help and every time the mod(s) say that they're fine. every month or two someone will ask how the production is going and the mod will answer, and then another month goes by and the cycle repeats. I think the zine has finally gone into its “preorder interest check” stage (so not the actual preorder) but judging by how long everything takes i estimate that it'll be another 2 months at least before it actually goes into preorder. Its also never been clear if this is a free zine or if the sales will be donated to charity or distributed among the contributors. Since there's Allegedly going to be a physical copy it's gotta at least use the sales money to pay for production and shipping costs, but I have no idea if I'll be compensated with a physical copy or any money, especially if I do the thing that I might be TA for.

So here's my actual question. WIBTA if I posted the art I made for the zine before the mod says it's ok to do so? A big part of zine etiquette is that you do not post the final piece until the zine is finished, and the repercussions for someone who does range from a mod dming them to take it down or being kicked out of the zine entirely or in the absolute worst case, called out and blacklisted in the fandom and zine circles (I don't think anything that serious will happen to me but I have anxiety so I'm always imagining the worst thing) Most of the people on Tumblr in this fandom are kind of annoying fandom mom millennial types so I don't really want to deal with any possible backlash from them lol. If I just posted my art on Instagram idk if any of them would see it, but they Definitely would if I posted on Tumblr since the zine originated on there and it's such a small tag. I'm also so frustrated with the experience I kind of want to write something cunty in the description about how it's a zine piece for a zine that probably will never come out but I know that's just being petty and would probably invite drama. Also since I drew this thing a year and a half ago it's a little busted looking so I might redraw parts of it, so posting it would still be kinda shitty but it would technically be a different piece from the original one I submitted to the zine.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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gleedyke · 5 months

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Here comes my two cents on anti-Neil Gaiman posting that I hope comes across civilly and that if you choose to interact with you are also polite about.

Everyone has the right to like/dislike a creator and to separately like/dislike their work. I happen to like this particular creator quite a bit, and I do notice that not everyone GOmens posting does, which again, of course, is fine. Disagree with choices made, that's healthy, but the way I keep seeing "us (fandom) vs him" mentality on any type of post feels bad. This isn't a defense of him; I don't fucking know him, nor does he need that. I'm actually quite happy when I hear folks say they simply don't follow/interact with him if they dislike him. That's great energy, but the rest of us seeing it all over is less great. Thought some reminders posted into the void would help lighten up the energy around here, or at least get it off my chest lol.

1. I've been properly queerbaited by media. This is not fucking that. Take a deep breath and heal with me.

2. A lot of vitriol towards Neil, and frankly Michael and David too, seems to be about being straight men creating this. Have we still not learned to mind our business on this front. You don't know them, we don't know them, but everything we've ever seen from them proves they're on our side. You wanna be mad at a straight man for actually fumbling the bag Steven Moffat is right th- sorry I forgot this isn't about him I tried not to bring up Sherlock in point 1 I really did. ANYWAY. I'm not implying anything, but I have learned to mind your business a little when telling someone why they can't create something queer. That's all.

3. This is his story, and it's not over. It took so long for him to get an adaptation made that he actually wanted to do, and he's doing it. I point y'all to Percy Jackson (I know there's some overlap in demographics here) and how much better the new series is just because Rick Riordan is more involved in adapting it. Having an author of the original work handling the adaptation this thoroughly is a gift regardless of how you feel about him. Additionally, he's writing the rest of the story that he and Terry Pratchett didn't tell. In Terry's honor. For himself. For all the people with beat up original copies. For all the people who have just joined because they realized there is something magical here. But above all it's still his. Take a deep breath and remember this is a love story, and if you still are not content in the end there's always AO3 my friends.

TL;DR vent away on your Tumblr if you don't like Neil Gaiman, nobody is gonna like everyone and certainly nobody's perfect. But before spreading negativity against him on every corner of the GOmens tags, I encourage you to remember how essential he is to the work regardless of your opinion. And remember that those who do like him and his work are also doing so with the best of intentions. Aren't we all. Peace and love this new year. Wait and see. Etc.

#good omens #gomens #neil gaiman #i almost didn't tag this bc i don't actually feel comfortable up on this soapbox but i would like at least somebody to find comfort in it

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jamietarttsnorthernattitude · 2 months

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Tagged by the amazingly talented @lady-of-the-spirit <3 <3 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

44 :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

337,201

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ted Lasso

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

somebody you touch, but never hold

no thing's so sure that i can't learn to doubt it

i don't want to look at anything else now that i saw you

in the morning i'm bulletproof

but the joy was worth the pain

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love them so much if someone took the time to leave a comment I want to thank them because it gives me life. So I try to respond at least with an emoji or a thank you.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

My immediate first thought was the honesty of pain but then I remembered I hit Jamie with a car and then just ended the fic soooo probably the loudest silence.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

It's hard to choose because most of my fics I do end on an upbeat note, even if things aren't better I leave it as things are going to be okay. But maybe in the morning I'm bulletproof? It skips forward probably the most amount of time.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Back on my first ever fic on fanfiction.net I did, but not necessarily hate, but "wtf is this?" which was fair lmao I only have gotten one comment and one ask (and to be fair to the ask it might've been hate or it might've been just taking the piss which I get but it was anon and I couldn't tell the tone so who knows). I am very grateful people have been so nice to me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've attempted a few sex scenes more to try it but I don't think I was very good at it so I probably won't try it again.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

LOL no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet but maybe with the wonderful @fanficfanattic someday lol

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Jamie Tartt/whump

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I haven't even been writing very long and only really started developing more WIPs in the fall. I have not yet given up hope on them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I write a lot of whump :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Rereading my works I find a lot of my sentences too simple. There's not always a clear flow and things can be clunky. I wish I was better at describing how things make people feel (I can't even do it here lmao). I see so many writers who are basically writing poetry to describe a scene and I wish I could do that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I am definitely not opposed, I think I've only made a few in French. I'm too nervous to get it wrong (google translate can only do so much) so I tend to stay away from it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I wrote a truly horrible LOTR story my freshman year in HS.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

This is very hard, but I'l go with my favorite one with the least amount of kudos, ...and I'll be there.

tagging: @fanficfanattic @jamiesfootball @nativestarwrites with zero pressure and also anyone that wants to play :)

#tag game #writing things

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fazedlight · 2 months

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Fandom creators tag game

Thank you @waytooinvested and @fabulousglitch for the tag!

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of?

Proudest fic - There are a few I tend to choose from, but right now it's Even Though You're Kryptonian

Fanvid - My Rise vid

2. What fandom(s) do you create for?

Supercorp. (And a very tiny amount of Dansen and soon Rojarias.)

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it?

Supercorp!! I don't think it's a controversial ship, lol.

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon?

They are to me 😌

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you?

My first obsession (and still greatest love) was Xena. I started watching the show a few episodes into season 1, when I was 6 years old. It was very formative.

That said, I didn't really get involved in any fandom communities until Supercorp (in early 2022).

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date?

I don't think I get super unhinged, but as a pilot I did like creating this dumb incorrect quote.

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it?

I was getting frustrated at not being able to find certain types of fics, and it struck me that... I was allowed to write my own.

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations?

Yup! My partner read my first two fics in support, and several of my IRL friends have read at least one of my fics because I didn't have the good sense to keep that information to myself when I was getting started. It's mortifying lol. But my friends are very cool people.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made?

Fanworks of fanworks are amazing!!! I've been incredibly lucky to have that happen three times (post), and gotten asked for permission for a different continuation and a podfic that may eventually happen.

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations?

Angst. Longing. Bits of compassion too.

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it?

I love each and every one of my commenters ❤️

Honestly, the compliments that stick with me most are "I came back to reread this" or "this idea is still living rent-free in my head" type comments. I think that's what all writers and artists want - to feel that their art lasted in someone's mind beyond the first time seeing it.

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!)

Technically it was more than 24hrs ago but this art by @awaitingrain is so fucking cute!!

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share)

I have a ficlet (that's getting out of control), here's a snippet:

Lena was cozying into the warmth of Kara’s body, when Lena spoke. “I’m thinking of visiting my mother’s house soon,” she said shyly. “I want to find out more about her. Where I came from.”

“That sounds lovely,” Kara said softly.

“Do you want to come with me?” Lena asked.

Kara hesitated.

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several)

Both of them are on my reading list 👀

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style?

Some of my comments are very simple, some of my comments are very long. I've tried to get more consistent about commenting ever since starting to write, because I know how important it is. Unfortunately, I also read a lot less now that I'm writing more.

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all?

I have 5 WIPs! I'm very confident I'll finish them all.

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?

I guess my worldkiller Kara fic took a bit over 3 months, though part of that was spacing with the Supercorp Big Bang.

I tend to write fast. One of the things I'm actually trying to do is slow down to fill out the story a bit more.

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published!

Lena has a bad day in the lab (Clockwork).

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it?

I totally engage in fanart from other fandoms that cross my dashboard, particularly korrasami. I don't tend to read fanfic of stuff I haven't engaged in, though.

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers

This fanvid is probably my favorite in the entire fandom.

Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.

A mutual you have never actually spoken to but think seems cool - oh there are so many of these!! I am tagging @mssirey who I don't think I've had a proper convo with yet

The most recent person whose content you engaged with (eg read a fic, reblogged art, whatever form you feel best fits) - @thealieninhiding (though by the time I finish this very long post it might be someone else lol)

Someone whose content you saw via tags/reblogs and you followed them because of it - @jadedloverart!

Someone in your fandom that you think makes cool things - @ekingston

Someone in a different fandom that you think makes cool things - tagging @thatonebirdwrites who makes korrasami stuff too

Someone you always tag on things like this - I'm not sure there's someone I always tag but I'll pick @nottawriter as one of the people I frequently tag when I do these things

Someone you have never tagged before - @rebellionbear have I tagged you before?? you are cool so I am tagging you!

Someone you would like to get to know better - @femslashhistorian

Someone who makes art you like - @awaitingrain along with others above!

Someone who writes fics you like - @luthordamnvers along with others above!

#ask game #mel stuff

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arashi-no-saxlphone · 4 hours

Note

I see you post about Axl's Strive gameplay a lot. I did learn a little bit of him and found him pretty fun, but definitely felt that he wasn't the strongest character, but I was wondering what you would do to fix him?

Personally I'd give him back his XRD DP or would give him even better long range pressure other than Rensen > Explosion, like XRD's sickle rekka move that I can't remember the name of. And yeah his DP was annoying, sure, all DP's kinda are, but if Bridget can have one Axl should too. And given that his kit revolves around keeping you at long range, giving him something better at long range than just "kaboom now I'm -3" would be nice I think.

Also this is just a pet peeve from when I played him but I'd also make explosion not go farther than the wall because whiffing it was annoying :(

I didn't play him for very long, though (and wasn't very good at him,) so I'd love to hear your opinion on how to buff him.

LOL I am so sorry you have beared witness to my whining lately but the meta ever since wild assault dropped has just been slowly gutting him (and zoners in general) and I've hit critical mass of what I'm willing to take on the chin.

You kinda hit most of what I think on the matter currently, but I'll add in my two cents where I can:

Overall, Axl feels like he's just been succesively powercrept by each DLC character that's zoner like or has big normals. Every time I'm like "Well, Axl shouldn't be able to do X because he has big normals and that'd be crazy if he could mix you up/ convert/do damage" and then you have bridget, who has big normals and can mix you into hell, or Johnny, who can tag you once and wallbreak you or guard crush you forever. Or Chaos who is guard crushing you from full screen (Please do not tell me it's fine because it costs a resource - he reloads that gun in 2 seconds). After a while it's like "The niche isn't even really a niche, and it doesn't even work really well."

To buff him is a great question - I used to think giving him a DP would be too much but then, and you hit the nail on the head here again for me, they gave Bridget one. Furthermore Axl has low health - you bait one DP and he's probably dead. It doesn't even have to be a good DP, just give him his silly old grounded one back.

I'm glad you brought up Xrd Axl stuff too because he's considered pretty low tier in that game, but he WORKS! He actually does decent damage and his zoning is really solid! This is where the core of my problems with Axl lie in this game: they couldn't decide if they wanted him to zone or run weird diet strike throw, so they let him do half of both, which in this game means you're actually doing neither well enough to answer the crazy hyper offense that the majority of the cast is doing. I wish they'd decide one way or the other what they wanna do. I'm not gonna pretend I know everything or how to fix it but there are a couple things that I'd like that might help at least in one way or another:

1.) Hey. Why is my close slash still -1 after 3 years? Testament's is +1 HAPPY CHAOS' is +1 what is the reasoning or justification? It is +1 in pretty much every other appearance. Make it +1. I shouldn't even have to ask for that. Axl's pressure isn't amazing and you have to really give up the ghost if you don't have bar, which is fine, but there's no reason for it to be this dire if we're letting basically the rest of the cast run basic pressure regardless of kit (Faust's is also still -1 for reasons I also do not understand).

2.) Make 6H do actually anything. I'm begging you. Like the above, this normal was consistently +1 in other appearances! Make it plus. Make it guard crush. Anything. Why is this the only slow command overhead that does nothing. May and Chipp's are +2. Why? The most actual use you will see from this button is in corner wallbounce combos off of 5P and even then it's not usually optimal routing (That being said it does at least give you a HKD on air hit, that's something)

3.) Fix Rensen 8 on block. Why is it not consistent or clear what the advantage/disadvantage is. Stop making me guess on my own pull in what I should do next. All my RPS feels weighted in the opponent's favor which is an insane weakness to have in this game. The frame advantage varies based on where they were, how high, whether they FD'd or not, where they landed, if mercury was in retrograde - STOP!! STOP IT!!! I don't even care if you make it consistently minus, but please, just make it clear (Don't make it air unblockable it gives a HKD I recognize that'd be insufferable)

4.) Make 2H stagger if you hit it at max range. This is a suggestion I heard from an Axl I met at CB and I agree with it. It's minus on hit. Why. You are too far to cancel into snail, so you have to react with wind, but they can just jump and land and smack you through the wind because it ignores extended hurtboxes (Yes you read that correctly).

5.) Make Rainwater an actual reset. Why is my fastest button to hit after my pressure reset losing to 6Ps and backdash? That's not even a pressure reset anymore that's just hitting 214S and going "Gee whiz I sure hope my opponent respects 3 plus frames before I'm minus again" you put this in to give Axl an answer to dashblocking and yet to make it effective I have to condition my opponent by giving up my own turn and losing advantage - WHICH IS WHAT DASHBLOCKING WAS DOING TO AXL ALREADY! You can't true blockstring from this - it loses to DP! I wouldn't take issue with that but you essentially take a risk every time you do this even outside of DPs and I just wish the situatuon was a SMIDGE better - just a smidge!

6.) Make delay cherry guard crush on block. This one is a little out there, but if you wanted to go all in on zoning I'd say you could reasonably get away with this and just make it not too plus (it's not fun for me either if I start just getting winter mantises for free I'm not a lunatic) But the delay explosion on block currently doesn't really reset the situation at all - people can still slowly inch out for free. If you're gonna make a glass canon zoner, their zoning should be VERY good - I have no DP and die in 2 interactions, I should have an easier time keeping people out. I realize this seems crazy but I figured I'd throw out a crazier ask seeing the shit some of these characters are getting away with, and I think actually forcing more consistent fullscreen RPS would make Axl a lot better.

I'm not a fighting game genius or anything but that's some of the stuff I'd consider. I'd ask for a whole rework if that was possible and just go all in on zoning but I realize that that's totally unrealistic so here's what I've got. The way Strive is geared toward hyper offense, it just sucks to be a zoner in this game, so if this is how it's gonna be he either needs some form of better actual offense or better zoning - there are too many neutral skips in this game for him to thrive as he is now (White Wild Assault is crime against humanity) so he needs something. More attention SOMEWHERE. He's in a super weird place right now and I hope it gets better.

Thank you for the ask! Also big fan of your Slayer posts I learned a lot reading your first huge one when he dropped.

#sairambles #ask #ggst #axl low #I wish I knew what would actually help him but Axl is weird in this game #he's just kinda in the wrong game at this point #like in Xrd he actually zoned really well and was pretty cool #but damage in that game all around made more sense #I would play Xrd more but I really don't like that game's system mechanics I'm sorry lol #super cool to watch though

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emily-prentits · 2 months

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tagged by @crime-wives <33

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

59! (one of which is actually not mine, but it's been passed off to me so i can write the ending. its a long story)

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

170,144 (I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT 😭)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

at the moment i'm a little all over! i have wips for grey's anatomy, silk comics, and the 2019 carmen sandiego reboot.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Dance With Me - 326 kudos (Carmen Sandiego)

lately she's undressing for revenge - 298 kudos (Grey's Anatomy)

used to think loving meant a painful chase (but you're right here now, and I think you'll stay) - 250 kudos (Grey's Anatomy)

all the cuddles are for you - 222 kudos (Carmen Sandiego)

kissing you (again and again and again) - 199 kudos (Killing Eve)

5. do you respond to comments?

i try to! and i always get around to it eventually, unless it's a comment asking me to update etc otherwise it's not worth my time or energy.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

you're gone (and I'm all alone) for sure. the first and only time i've written main character death (so far).

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhh. i don't do a lot of that. but if i had to pick from my sparse collection, i'd say You Are In Love :) short and sweet and ridiculously fluffy. my love letter to meddison <3

8. do you get hate on fics?

i don't think so! i don't write for gigantic fandoms, so the people that read my fics are usually too glad to have a new fic to nitpick my writing lmaoo. and honestly if i did i don't remember, so it clearly wasn't that important to me. shrug emoji

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yep! as for what kind... well. i'll write anything if i have a strong enough vision and motivation lol. even in my one multi, there's a vast range of stuff. i'm always open to explore!

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

i don't write crossovers, personally i don't care for them, unless aus count.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope :) and if someone tries it i will make their online life a living hell :)

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah! i've co-written twice so far: burning (this is not a love story) with @which-star and it was intentional with @jackie-shitposts :))

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

thats a tough one 😭 but i'd have to go with silkcat from marvel comics. literally who is doing every dynamic so well like they do (no one is)

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh so many. SO many. including but not limited to: meddison season 18/19 neighbor au, meddison bloomington au, and are you mine? (i'm not quite yours). its exhausting having all these ideas and no motivation to write them :(

16. what are your writing strengths?

i'm told that i write complex/angsty feelings really well! and i'm glad i do lol because why is my brain like this if not to be a storyteller

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

little movements. i love them and need them. they kill me.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i'm open to it! i'm not fluent in any languages other than english, but i could probably string together some sentences in spanish if i tried (don't ask me about my latin abilities, pls and ty.)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

the 2019 carmen sandiego reboot on netflix! that show got me into writing and is also how i met my partners :)

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh boy you're making me choose 😭 i'll say that revenge is my top 1 SO FAR. second and third is tied between intrigue (hold your breath). and already yours. these three are some of the only fics i've written that i like enough to reread.

no pressure tagging: @walshies @which-star @lisascumslut78 @itsdappleagain @peridotglimmer @sucker-for-emily-prentiss and any other writers that want to! i always forget which of my mutuals write when im tagged in stuff like this. whoops

#tagged #thea talks #jo writes #???#carmen sandiego #grey's anatomy #silk #the important ones anyway

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foliejpg · 1 month

Note

oh yippie more asks:D

i have a lot :3

🍓🌵🥑🥤🌻🧃🧸🪐🍬🦷❄️🌿🏜️🍦🌸🎨🧩

you dont have to answer all of them but here you gooo

oh hell yes this is gonna be so fun <3

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

i don't remember specifically how, but i know i first interacted with shipping on youtube in like 2007-08 back when you could comment on people's profiles and message other users, so i think i must have commented on some like.. pokeshipping amv and just struck up a convo before i followed some friends i made to ff.net and deviantart, and started writing on ff.net lol

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

so i don't use spotify, i'm an apple music girlie and i really only listen to my own playlist i made that is composed of all of my top 100 songs of the year going back to 2015 LMAO

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@actuallyalaska she got me

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

every writer i tagged yesterday!! all of whom take part of the @bandomthememonths go read all these great fics by these awesome writers<333

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@judasisgayriot your gifs are a godsend and i always love getting a comment from them <3

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

my name is short for guinevere lol

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

so i'm sort of picky abt my dash lol i try to stick to foblr so if you post mostly fob then i'll prob follow! i do a good scroll through to get the vibe, but if they post a lot of non fob stuff, i usually skip bc its just not for me but no hard feelings ever<3

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

well i just bought a new (refurbished) computer for the first time in a few years, so that's exciting! i've recently started making embroidery patches and that's been a lot of fun lol idk i've just been having a good time<3 i'm doing a lot of home renovation projects so i'm excited to have a brand new kitchen soon lmao

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

not a fandom character but as far as bandom goes, i don't really care for mcr and maybe that just has everything to do with that i'm really not familiar with lore/band mbrs etc., but danger days is the only mcr album i really connected with especially when i was 16-17 and its still one of my favorite albums, but i'm good on their other albums lol

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

just be kind<3 ik that's super cheesy but i think its easy to forget that other ppl have feelings too and maybe just being nice to someone will make their day. also don't ever pay full price for anything if you can avoid it. generic brands are just as good as name brands

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

i have.. no idea honestly lmao

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

listen when i figure it out, i'll let you know lol when i'm stuck i eat an edible and stare at the wall until something comes to me

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ANY AND ALL!!!! especially when they tell me a specific part they liked - even if its just a line makes my heart go bu-bump<3

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

genuinely i can't think of a character i hate, i really don't watch anything but like. seinfeld and its always sunny in philadelphia lmfao

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

this is my cat bear<3 she's ten years old and sleeps in a drawer in my desk while i work

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

here and here and here and this nsfw fanart from my bubbline au these are all my absolute favorites <3

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

i answered this here but its super long so<3

#ask #anon #tag game

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cloud-ya · 5 months

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As a fellow hi3rd turned hsr player, how are we feeling about Star Rail now that some time has passed? I remember disliking it because new ppl wouldn't use Honkai Star Rail as the tag and would flood the HI3rd tag with a lot of "x reader" fics with the Star Rail men.

I dropped playing it after Seele's banner and haven't really felt a huge desire to progress past the Ice Planet. Idk, I worry that it'll go the Genshin route and become aimless and boring.

I do enjoy the designs a lot more than genshin's but still not as much as HI3rd. I like that we have an MC who doesn't feel completely unrelated to the story like how it feels in genshin, and Stelle actually talks instead of having a small flying companion speak everything for us.

Gameplay wise I think it is more fun than any of the previous games, but visually lacking a little. (Kind of biased here since I adore turn based combat) I guess I'm just waiting for the "WOW‼️" moment with this game.

Honkai Impact 3rd really won me over with the main cast of characters as well as the reveal with Sirin. I might not have loved every decision made along the journey of Part 1, but I never really felt bored or distanced from the story like I do with the other two games.

I've been playing Star Rail ever since its release, the only long breaks being between events and new patches because I didn't feel the need to grind constantly and I've been pretty burnt out for a while.

geez I surely do hate people who mess up the tags. it still happens, but on way lower frequency now I think. it's even more annoying when you wanna find one hi3 character with their very own tag but end up seeing just their HSR counterpart with messed up tags - big issue as a Murata Himeko enjoyer, smh.

the game is as if Honkai Impact and Genshin had a child. it's somewhere in-between in quality I guess, though it leans more towards HI3 (because it's a Honkai game, duh). the maps really be giving you this feeling of not-so-open open worlds from HI3. I guess the story is fine, though I've seen people saying it's rushed; ngl I was kinda surprised to see Jarilo-VI part being already concluded in just one version lol. I don't mind anything in the trailblazer, only that the trend of more and more gacha games deciding on the either full or partial self-insert with dialogue choice doesn't sit well with me.

while I'm not repulsed by the turn based combat I think I prefer the hack and slash combat of HI3, or just the types of combat that let you move freely. personally I try to have a taste of every combat type.

I love the most of HI3's part 1 too and while I lost interest in the story after HoV disappeared for good, the only thing that really bothered me besides the hov death bias was the finale which was soo damn rushed just to end before Star Rail's premiere, and other dumb things in it like the whole Ai-chan self-insert bullshit

#cloud has been asked

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lenny-rambles · 2 months

Text

About "When All the Embers Die"

Title: When All the Embers Die

Author: MelodramaticCoffeeAddict

Update 21: Chapter Twenty (Then)

Relevant tags: ZoLu, angst, modern au, acesan, ongoing, the swords are dogs, happy ending (allegedly)

A modern au ZoLu fic in which the crew were friends once, and now Zoro's not; and about why is that.

IT UPDATED! IT UPDATED! IT UPDATED!!! Thank you so much author for updating!!! I adore this story and it's been a blast. Truly, the angst and hurt/comfort are so well managed that I can't help but get really into it. Everyone should read this fanfic because it's effin fantastic.

All right, first of all, I am a big fan of MelodramaticCoffeeAddict's works. I've read a lot of them, and the ones I haven't is because I'm scared of the feelings they'll give me. Most of them are very angsty and Zoro-centric, which means I'm very drawn to her works. But I'm digressing.

All right, spoilers for the fic and OP Marineford arc, (though that last one is kinda a stretch but whatever) BEWARE!!

We start basically where we left the "then" part of the story, which is great because I can't get enough of Zoro and Luffy's reaction to the reveal. Like, Zoro, my man is Destroyed, he is basically in hell right now, his only lifelines are Wado, Luffy and Ace. (Which is so sad now given what we know about "now") (OHHHH I HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!!)

I want to talk about Ace's role in the story before I continue. Or at least, a little thing that popped up when this beautiful fic was invading my consciousness and not letting me study: Zoro doesn't get to keep his older siblings for long. An that's so sad!!!!! Like, the foreshadowing for Ace's death being to save Zoro, who could very well be trying to save Luffy from anything (or at least the way I understood it) Is So Tragic. This would be the second Older Sibling that sacrifices themselves for Zoro, I think that would break him. That's what gives him the permanent stutter in the "now" portion of the story.

This last part actually relates to the author's comment about a hc where Zoro just, buries his emotions instead of dealing with them, because then he would break. If Ace's death is Zoro's "fault" that will be what finally breaks the dam. He will not come back from that. And we know so!!! Because he didn't!!!

All right, back to the scenes in the fic

Sanji's been giving them food but Zoro doesn't want any, I understand this so much, this is so sad :c. Luffy eats it (haha), and Ace very much acts as the ultimate support for everyone. Let's go AceSan, I just really like how Ace doesn't neglects his role as everyone's support in favor of someone else. Even Usopp got some support! I love you Ace <333

Luffy reminding Zoro it was not his fault got me by surprise!! I sometimes forget this is a ZoLu fic ('cause of the plot) lol. This is such a nice way of giving a sweet scene that doesn't shift terribly the tone of the chapter, I really liked it.

More Zoro angst!!! He's blaming himself for the short trip :c Even though Luffy already told him nothing is his fault and he doesn't own anyone anything (some chapters ago), he still thinks he's the worst because he's ruined his friends fun!!! I WANNA CRY

Some more situational fluff: Luffy gives Zoro a ride home, and only Zoro!!!! I know this has Plot Reasons, it also has Ship Implications and I'm here for both. I really like Zoro and Luffy's relationship here! I don't remember getting a Luffy POV in this fic so far, I'll have to re-read, but I'd like to see their relationship through Luffy's pov.

The moment I've been waiting for ever since the birthday chapter is finally here!! Zoro calls Mihawk dad!!!!!! I was expecting this but it still made me feeeeel for them. I'd say I really like their relationship in the fic, but I say that about everything relationship in the fic. I just really like this fic and the way the author handles the characters in a very unusual setting, but makes it make sense for the canon counterparts!!!

Mihawk comforting Zoro part 1, thank you Mihawk for giving it your best to be a good dad, even if it doesn't always work out as intended. Your efforts have not been in vain because it's Your House where Zoro feels safest, not his, not Luffy's, not Ace's, Yours!!!

A short rambling about the dogs!!! They know what to do, I really love the dogs in this fic. They are *in character* for like, 2-3 lines of dialogue we've from canon, but in all honesty, I eat up any anthropomorphization of Zoro's swords (even Oda's, but we don't talk about Oda's take on that) but this is one of my favorites!

Oh yeah, the post dissociation clarity is weird. Like, as someone who also has the bad habit of "keeping big emotions under the rug" I have now added "to ACTUALLY check on them later" to the strategy, because it suck feeling a stranger to your own trauma. Hopefully Zoro learns this, but the way the story is headed, I don't see it happening in the "then" chapters...

On this, I haven't been through something similar to what's on the story, but both God and my psychiatrist know that the line between hyper rationalizing your feelings and just ignoring them blurs terribly quicky. So Zoro being like "I have to BE FINE, because if I AM NOT FINE then this would be terrible, the most horrible thing to ever happen, and that can't be true, because I don't think I could survive that" is very close to home for me, I just wish he went to therapy.

More angst (thanks) Zoro's issues with self worth and him being a waste unless he is excellent and strong and how I relate to that because of Internalized Family Expectations that were Not Met. Not much to develop on that, I just think about this take on Zoro's character and wonder what it means to myself.

Not wanting to eat because of anxiety for something totally unrelated to food is also very personal to me. The moment when eating stops being the Joie de Vivre to become A Chore is when it's known something's wrong, so seeing it in action for Zoro is great.

Mihawk comforting Zoro part 2, thank you Mihawk for loving your son. Perona also loves Zoro but she's a bit (a lot) lost right now. I think Mihawk wants to give Zoro a sense of normalcy through his panic attacks and all, so he keeps calm. And Perona knows that being dramatic is almost always more fun than being stoic, so she is. But my poor Zoro ends up confused about how to properly react to stressful situations thanks to these two, and by stating that on the fic we now know why he is Like That. I hope he gets to calm down more soon.

Ussop!!! I love it when we get his POV, I really like Usopp's POV in general for Fics, but this one serves also for an "antagonistic" narrative in the story. My man is too wrapped up in his own insecurities that he can't see that the way he and Zoro protect themselves from trauma is basically the same. They both create and project an image of themselves that has it more together than they actually do, the only difference is that now Usopp can't call Zoro's bluff and viceversa. They are both too into their own heads to even think that someone has issues as bad a they do. (Because why would they? Everyone else is so very much incredible! They are just the lesser friend, the one that's disposable, the useless one) They are all liars trying to get the best of themselves out, so that none of their wonderful friends ever finds out about what they've got within.

But they did!!! And it's Usopp's fault for not respecting Zoro's boundaries!!! Zoro's exposed everytime that happens and Usopp Can't Get Enough of it, because now he is not the weak one. He can call the bluff and regain some sort of validation towards him and his way of projecting out. What good it does to him though, because his bluff's also been called by everyone but Zoro. It makes sense for him to finally stop and think about what he's done for a change. Ding dong mtherfcker, it's consequences of your actions!

Side note, I really like Luffy paying for Usopp's phone but still too mad at him to actually talk to him directly, that's Luffy if I ever read him.

Usopp apologizing because he fears his friends stopping from being his friends and not because of him actually being sorry (even though he knows he's in the wrong) is peak Usopp behavior. In fact, it is very much canon, since that's basically how the end of the Water 7 saga goes. (until Zoro makes Luffy understand and so Usopp understand that half-assed apologies won't do). Let's hope he doesn't have to get punched anymore to be all right with the crew again.

Ah, Usopp being petty because Zoro apologized is funny, and very interesting for things previously mentioned.

And then the fic ends. It was a very good update! I'm So Glad the author is still updating! even though it' stated to be somewhat more of a bore now (than it was at the start :c) I await the next update expectantly because I can't get enough of this, and sincerely hope the fic gets to be done, because this is such a good story it'd make me sad if it were to just, stop. So once again, thank you so much author for all the work you put through and take your time!!!

Oh well, this is a great piece (haha), I think the fic is very non shippers accesible, because most of the moment can be interpreted as platonic (but why would you?) or plainly Not In English (I love that, I really like those but where they flirt in other languages, they are such dorks omg). So I believe any Zoro fans should read it, if you like modern aus, because it is a really good Zoro fic, and fic in general. I'm biased but I'm right!!!

#zolu #zolu fanfic #txt #rambles

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