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namism · 2 years

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closer to you | trafalgar d. law

➳ category: modern doctors au · female reader · fluff

➳ warnings: none

➳ word count: 4.8k

➳ summary: There was a senior resident at the hospital you worked at and you didn’t expect to like him so much.

➳ note: assume that law is more “open” here compared to canon law since this is a modern au and it’s impossible for half of his backstory to be true (even though bepo is a character)

i’m also not a professional doctor of medicine y’all i’m literally still about to enter uni LMFAO

There was a senior resident at the hospital you worked at and his name was Law. He was under the cardiology department and had been working his way up the ranks of the Executive Board for the last three years, and apparently, he was always the main attraction for the new ICU residents.

You used to be one of the said residents because you decided a small crush on a colleague who you weren’t close to wouldn’t hurt. Working at a hospital was already hard enough on its own so you wanted to brighten up your workplace by sprinkling in a little bit of spice; and Law Trafalgar happened to be just that. So in your first 10 months of being a resident, the 36-hour shifts everyone feared didn’t seem all that bad anymore, because he would always be there.

You specialized in anesthesiology and had been the anesthesiologist in Law’s operations for as long as you could remember. Long surgical operations—through the disquietude and uneasiness of them all—were the only opportunities for interaction with Law because he was (reasonably) a busy man. And when the operation was easy enough, you would talk to each other over the music tinkling from the sound system and the beeps and whirs of the machinery.

To your disappointment, you only ever talked about simple things like the breaking news from the Daily Inquirer or mild rumors from your respective departments because the rest of the surgical team would hear everything. There was little to no opportunity for you to make a move (not like you were confident enough for it anyway) so you left your romantic endeavors with Law up to fate. But little did you know, Law liked having you around and rambling away with whatever you had in mind—although whether he found romance within his interest for you or not was still a mystery for him, like an enigmatic clot of emotions buried deep in his heart that he had yet to incise and examine, yet to diagnose.

Law was a busy man with no time for romantic exploits, but he did have time for department lunches after morning operations. Today, with you and the rest of his team, he was going to dine in a restaurant which he hadn’t done in a while.

You were seated next to Law at your table but you paid him no mind as an attempt to keep your excitement at bay. Law didn’t seem to care that you hadn’t talked to him the entire 15 minutes you were waiting for your crew, but he eventually itched to talk to you after Shachi excused himself to the restroom and he had no one to talk to.

When you weren’t speaking to anyone, he inched a little closer to you. “Have you eaten here before?”

Holding in a squeak, you looked up from your phone and let a smile pass instead. “Nope. I don’t eat out anymore but I know they have a lot of food options.”

“That’s great. I wouldn’t know what to choose.”

“You can always ask the waitress for recommendations,” you supplied.

“Yeah”—Law smiled—“I’ll go with that.”

A few moments later, Shachi had come back from the restroom and the rest of the team were piling in. Tables were full and the restaurant buzzed with activity. You had to move closer to Law because of the limited space, and this went on until he was at the very end of the table, sandwiched between you and the wall.

There was less than an inch of space between you and him and needless to say, it was overwhelming. But you kept yourself at ease by talking to Ikkaku beside you, until your nonchalance was shattered with a slight touch of your leg with Law’s under the table.

Your breath hitched and his lips parted, but neither of you noticed the other’s reaction and just played it off like normal. Neither of you moved. Your legs, covered only by the thin cloth of your scrubs stayed put, as if they never touched at all.

You only forgot about this moment when the food came, too busy eating to remember Law’s presence next to you.

But he eventually asked you to pass the condiments, and you obeyed. When you handed him the bottle, however, your hands touched and you gasped.

“Sorry, thank you,” Law said quietly, but even his ordinary calm voice didn’t sound calm at all. He opened the ketchup bottle and proceeded to eat, although unusually quieter than earlier.

Compared to you and Law, the rest of your table was full of life. Bepo was telling a ridiculous story while Ikkaku was rambling about the new residents she encountered. She then tapped your arm and gossiped about one of their engagements, painfully jealous over the couple.

The entire time you were there, Law would be dragged in the conversation and all eyes would be looking toward you. Thankfully, Law was abnormally tall and much more massive, so he didn’t have a problem with craning his head to see the rest of the crew. You decided to just ignore your feelings for the meantime and listen to him talk away for the rest of the meal.

When it was time to leave, your group piled out of the booth one by one after processing the bill. But before you could exit, a waitress hastily passed by you and caught you off guard.

You took a few steps back to avoid bumping into her but it was far enough to hit Law’s body. Your back hit his chest and he had to stop you from losing balance.

“I’m sorry ma’am!” the waitress apologized. She repeatedly asked if you were alright and you reassured her. When she had settled the matter and went back to her duties, you realized that Law had placed his hand on the small of your back. Heat crept to your cheeks and you stepped away from him.

Too shy to look at him carefully, you thanked him with a weary, “Thank you,” and awaited his response before catching up with your team by the exit. Law was stunned by what he did, so his brain could only come up with a meek, “Hm,” shortly before he followed you out the restaurant.

It was back to hospital duty by the time you arrived at the ambulatory, so you parted ways with your team.

Law would had been glad to be back at work, but it wasn’t so easy when you wouldn’t leave his mind for the rest of the day.

II.

Ikkaku was crying over (rambling about, actually) the new residents because she got closer with the bunch over the past few days. She learned that two of them, the engaged couple she was yapping about days ago during lunch, were having a beach wedding and had booked a two-week long vacation for their Honeymoon in the Bahamas. Ikkaku couldn’t contain her squeal when she told you this, and truth be told you were squealing as well.

Suddenly, you were called to one of your patients’ room for post anesthesia care, so you bid Ikkaku goodbye before going back to work. You arrived at the patient’s room, a sweet woman just a few years older than you, and monitored her condition before exiting quietly.

A sigh passed your lips as you sauntered back to your department building, glancing at your watch to check the time. It was 5 PM—just a little more and you could finally go home. The dinner menu was ringing in your ears, and you realized you hadn’t eaten since that morning.

You entered the skybridge and tiredly looked out the glass panes. The sun had already met the horizon and its orange hues painted the vicinity. It was calm. But footsteps echoed from the other end of the skybridge and you were immediately distracted.

It was Law. He was wearing his scrubs underneath his white coat. He caught your eye and you smiled shyly, but it didn’t take long for it to get awkward. With the bridge running about 30 meters from the South Tower to the North, it took a few seconds for Law to be in close proximity, which left enough time for awkward tension to settle in, after already meeting eyes.

When you were near enough, you greeted him a good evening and he nodded at you.

“Good evening,” he greeted back. Then he passed you and continued his way to the South Tower.

As cold as he was, your feelings for Law pursued.

And you didn’t know if it was a good thing or not.

A few days later, you were ordered to deliver documents to Law and a couple of other surgeons before the end of the day. You didn’t mind the job because work was calm then—you didn’t say the word out loud, of course—and because you hadn’t seen Law in a while.

You happened to meet him in the small hallway near the patient ward alone and you chatted for a bit. The conversation went smoothly, although it was mostly about work and the documents you delivered.

Halfway through, a disabled patient emerged from the ward and Law gently pulled you to the side. Your brain stopped functioning. Law kindly let the patient and his nurse pass through, then got back to where he left off in your convo.

Shock registered in you and you let out an uncontrolled chuckle, cutting Law short. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I made you uncomfortable.”

“No no no, I liked it,” you explained hotly. “Not-not like, in a creepy way.”

His lips parted open, as if he was shocked too. Then he made up his mind to just knowingly smile at you.

“I’ll see you some other time,” he said as he walked away.

III.

You were talking to Ikkaku over the phone hours before you went out with your brother. She helped you pick a dress to wear while nattering about the events at work.

“I learned something from the residents in my department today. It’s something that you might want to know,” she said with a light giggle. She watched you wear your jewelry and let a smirk morph onto her lips. “Where was It that you were eating out again?”

“Wolfgang,” you said. “For my brother’s early graduation. You’re really getting comfortable with the first-years, aren’t you?”

“They’re extremely nice and good at their job,” she replied. “They also have connections here and there, so y’know where I get my gossip from.”

“Of course, classic Kaku.”

“You’re the one to talk, girlypop. I know you’re getting into somebody’s pants at ours.”

Your eyes widened. “What?”

“A certain Mr. Trafalgar,” she said in sing-song.

You wanted to scream.

“Oh, don’t you dare give me that look (Y/N), it’s pretty obvious that you’re sneaking out together.”

“We aren’t sneaking out,” you defended. “We aren’t even together.”

“There are sparks though, right?” She pointed a teasing finger at you. “Hmm, whole ICU knows including the patients, so you shouldn’t be afraid. Workplace romance is very normal.”

“I don’t know where you’re coming from, but you’re totally wrong.” You huffed as you finished tending to your jewelry and hair. Suddenly, a call from your brother interrupted your flustered exchange, and you started packing your things at the notice. “I gotta go. Little brother’s here to pick me up.”

“Wait!” Ikkaku yelped. “Don’t you want to know what I was about to say earlier? From the residents?”

You frowned, upset that you had to decline. “I’m sorry. Can you text it to me?”

She sighed, but there was still a hint of tease in her voice. “Never mind, just find it out yourself. Have a fun night lovely.”

You dropped the call as you bid goodbye and all but ran outside your building and climbed into your brother’s car. As the vehicle sped off, Ikkaku’s words echoed at the back of your mind.

You arrived at Wolfgang 30 minutes later and were met with greetings from staff and assistance from valet. You and your brother were then led to your reserved seats for two and ordered your food once settled.

“Congrats on making it into the Honor Roll,” you said. “Higgs isn’t an easy school.”

“You know it was because of you and dad always telling me to work my ass off.” He rolled his eyes. “And he didn’t even make it here in the end.”

“He’ll be here in a few days,” you reassured, “and you did the work yourself, so at the end of the day you get the credit too. We were just there to help occasionally.”

He frowned, painfully visible in the candlelight. “I hope he gets here. It’s always just you, while mom is . . . doing whatever the hell she’s doing.”

“You have me,” you reassured again. He pursed his lips and shifted the conversation to your work life, and you shared a thing or two about your hospital experience and great bonding time with Ikkaku. You subtly mentioned Law as the cardiothoraccic surgeon who you liked to work for and it luckily didn’t bring enough questioning from your brother.

The food arrived and you dug in. You hadn’t dined like this in more than five years and the experience was overwhelming; steak was served well-done and chardonnay was poured into delicate champagne glasses. Headlights were dimmed and candles lit every table. Your dress matched the dinner ambience, the food was good, and you and your brother were happy.

“Their steak is juiced up,” your brother murmured as he took a bite. “Love the honey flavor.”

“I always had an inkling that you would go to a culinary arts school if it weren’t for your becoming in law,” you commented.

“No, you’re right,” he said, “but I’ll finish law school then enter culinary arts. I have time. I’ll make it there.”

You blinked. “You will?” You didn’t know about this goal, never heard of it before. “That’s . . . really cool.”

“I will. I’m sure you’ve met Sanji before. He got me into all that cooking stuff.” He shrugged.

“Oh yeah, that blond guy with curled eyebrows?” You laughed. “He was nice. He was really . . .” You trailed off, distracted.

“Yeah”—your brother rolled his eyes—“flirty.” You laughed nervously but you had stopped paying attention to what he was saying. Your eyes had flitted to a table of three, 4 tables away from you and had focused on a black-haired man dressed formally in a black dress shirt and slacks. He faced your direction but was engaged in conversation with two other guests. He looked down on his food, took a bite, then lifted his head back up and glanced at your table.

It startled him for a split second but Law regained his composure and went back to the conversation. Out of all places in the city, he didn’t expect to see you here on a Saturday evening in a beautiful dress and sparkling jewelry. You didn’t strike him as the type to eat out so it was pretty shocking to see you dolled up for a candlelit dinner with a . . .

Who’s that? Law thought to himself.

But never mind the guy. He had to worry about not looking obviously panicked when he met your eyes a few seconds ago, which he would hate if he ever failed to, because it was uncharacteristically him to be obvious.

“I’m glad we got to squeeze in this dinner today,” his cousin spoke, snapping Law out of his trance. “Duty has been peaceful recently. I think a big one is coming soon.”

His fiancée elbowed his side. “Don’t say that, you’re cursing the three of us.”

“We’re not at work,” her fiancé deadpanned.

“It’ll be fine. It’s only happened a few times,” Law said.

The couple across him laughed and continued to bicker about work. Law joined in. He felt that he needed to as the guest, and that he should give this one evening to his cousin and his fiancée who had both applied for an internship at the memorial hospital he worked at. Law didn’t know about it until recently because he had overheard Ikkaku talk about it with Bepo during break. Now that their wedding was fast approaching, it felt appropriate to treat them to an evening dinner as an early wedding gift.

The woman’s phone buzzed, and she shyly excused herself out. “Sorry, I have to take this.”

Her fiancé nodded in approval and she walked out to take the call. Law excused himself to the restroom while she was away, to both catch his breath and use the actual restroom.

You saw Law get up from his table and walk to the back of the restaurant where the restroom stalls were. You watched as he snuck into the comfort room and disappeared behind the door.

Would it be wrong if you met him outside?

Would he mind?

You could follow him and pretend to use the restroom even if you didn’t need to, pretend that you had to wash off a stain, or grease from your hands. But you weren’t sure if it would work, especially on a man like Law.

Well, even if it did work, you would still go back to ignoring your feelings anyway because of your job.

You told your brother about your business and strode to the comfort room, where a vanity stood behind the small partition from the dining area to the lavatories. You fixed your appearance—patting down your hair, smoothening out the folds of your dress, and retouching your makeup—until Law emerged from the men’s room and met your eyes in the mirror.

You flushed. Law was surprised.

“Hi, um,” you stuttered, “nice to see you here.”

“Hi.” You spun around and met him face-to-face. “You’re with—?”

“My brother,” you replied. “He’s graduating his undergraduate program for-for law school.”

“Law?” Law chuckled. Your cheeks grew hot. “Congratulations.”

You laughed nervously and thanked him, then Law explained that he was out with his cousin and his fiancée to celebrate their engagement. Law mentioned that they worked at your hospital, and it rang a bell in your head.

“By any chance, are they interns?” you asked.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “First-years.”

Your eyes widened, realizing what he just said.

So this was what Ikkaku wanted to tell you.

“If I remember correctly, Ikkaku is one of their friends. She must have told you.”

“She did, kinda. I’m-I’m just surprised to see you here.”

From the corner of his eye, Law could see his cousin regrouping with his fiancée who had gone back to their table. Looking back at you, he said, “It was unexpected,” then hesitantly added, “You look really good tonight.”

Law (uncharacteristically and internally) shoved his head into his palms as he let the words out, surprising both you and him. Your heart thumped loudly in your chest, and you couldn’t stop the genuine smile that formed on your lips. You laughed lightly.

“Thank you,” you said.

Law looked at you one more time until he had to excuse himself out and walk back to his table. You did the same after regaining your composure and fixing yourself again. Your brother met you at the table, confused on what took you so long.

“Just a girl thing,” you told him when he questioned it.

Meanwhile, at table six, Law was distracted for the remaining time he had left for dinner. He couldn’t fathom the encounter with you, couldn’t understand his unusual reaction and the strange feeling in his chest. Law thought he was going crazy when he couldn’t stop thinking about the first time you touched at the restaurant, or when you both awkwardly greeted each other in the hallways.

He couldn’t understand what was happening, or why he kept playing into it at all. But he rethought it all out and wondered deeply. Did he really not understand?

Or was he just afraid to admit that he was starting to?

He was probably lying to himself.

And the glimpse you took at his table, which he happened to catch just in time, confirmed that.

IV.

A month had passed since your encounter with Law and it had been a pretty fun four weeks.

Meetups were more frequent and conversation became less awkward. You had gotten comfortable with him when he began to approach you himself, sometimes due to work and sometimes just for fun. Neither of you acknowledged it, but it was clear that there was something going on between the both of you.

You and Law had finished an emergency operation together and were cooped up in the break room to get some rest.

He was exhausted, unsettlingly quiet with hooded eyes that screamed no sleep. He held a cup of water and periodically took small sips from it as he spaced out, thinking to himself deeply.

Your team went in and out of the break room until it was only you and him left. It was silent, with the only sound source coming from the air conditioner. It was nearly 1 AM and you were wondering how to get home.

Deciding between walking or being patient enough to wait for a cab, you stood up from your seat and disposed of your cup. Law looked up from the floor and watched your actions closely.

“Are you going home?” he asked softly. Tiredly, if you might.

You nodded. “You?”

“I’ll check out in a bit,” he said. “Are you commuting?”

“Um, yeah. I’ll probably find something.” You shrugged, evidently not caring about it much. You had gone through the trouble of commute a couple of times before and you were an expert at that point. The only problem was, commuting late at night took a lot of time and patience.

“You’re commuting home?” He furrowed his eyebrows unpleasantly, almost as if he was displeased that he had guessed correctly. “Let me help you. I’ll take you home.”

“Law,” you started, “I’ll-I’ll be fine. You need to go home too, you’re tired.”

“I will not allow that.” Law refused to let a woman go off on her own unattended at night especially if it was you. There was nothing in this world that could sway him to let you be in this situation. Law argued against your refusals until he was up and standing, properly trying to reason with your dilemma.

“I don’t want to bother you. It’s late, get some sleep and go home,” you whined when he didn’t budge even after a minute of convincing.

He sighed. Looking down at you with tired eyes, he said, “Please. Stay safe.”

You nodded in promise, glad that you had persuaded him despite his strong arguments. Law planned to leave, but he just gazed at you deeply.

You looked back at him.

Then, he glanced at the door and at the corners of the room for any signs of a camera. When he proved that it would be safe, he leaned into you.

He brushed your hair to the side and pulled himself close. Then he kissed you.

Your lips parted in surprise but you kept them open as Law kissed you a little harder. He moved his lips in sync with yours, remembering the pretty looks and touches you’ve given him the past month. Once you were comfortable, he started to guide you through the kiss until your lips were finally in motion with his.

You pulled back for air but continued. Law kept his hand on the side of your head still while you placed your hands on his chest. He was unbearably close and you swore your legs touched. When you ran out of air the second time, the both of you pulled back.

“Can I take you home?” he asked again, breathless.

You nodded.

Definitely.

Moments later, Law led you to your locker where you packed your things and checked out. He checked out along with you and offered to carry your bag as you both set foot for the parking lot.

In just a few minutes, you were in the passenger seat as Law drove out the lot and into the empty midnight streets of the city. A couple of cars zipped by when you reached the overpass while billboards showed themselves and littered the perimeter. Soft noise from the radio and the hum of tires on asphalt kept you awake.

Law cooed you to sleep during the ride but you refused to shut your eyes. Although tired, you knew better than to miss out on this one moment with Law where it was just you and him in private, with no work-related problem bugging your minds in the middle of the night. It was just you and him, alone together in secrecy; a dream you had always wished for ever since you took a liking to him.

It felt wonderful to be there with him.

When you neared your residence, Law was disappointed that he had to say goodbye sooner than expected, but one glance at you and he was convinced that you deserved to rest. He parked outside your lot and hopped off the vehicle, then went over to your side to pop the door open and help you dismount the car.

You and him stood at your front gate, faces barely visible in the moonlight but doe eyes blown enough to notice. You keyed the gate open and thanked Law for the night before telling him goodbye.

But courage pumped through your veins, and at the very last second you ran to him with delight and stood on your tiptoes to meet his lips again. Law was shocked but reacted quickly, and he kissed back the same way he did earlier at work.

When you both pulled away, you grinned at him. “Can you text me when you get home?”

He shyly smiled back, but you knew he reciprocated. “I will.”

Law drove off once he made sure that you had entered your home safely, and after 15 minutes, your phone lit up with a notification.

lawdtrafalgar: I’m home.

y/nl/n: You’re safe?

lawdtrafalgar: Just like you asked.

y/nl/n: Good :]

It was an exhausting day. But you were glad you spent it with him.

Three weeks passed and Law made it a habit to take you out to eat or stroll around the city whenever you were free. You didn’t mind it—in actuality, you liked every moment you spent with him because he made you feel safe.

Sweet gestures became frequent but would be kept subtle and at a minimum since Law wasn’t the showy type. Nonetheless, you appreciated all the effort he put.

You walked beside Law on the promenade, where the city met the sea and the sea met the sun. It was a calm Wednesday evening after work and you had time to spare so you pulled Law to a 10-minute walk to kill time. He followed you with no objections, and walked with you in comfortable silence.

You later stopped at a bench and took a seat, Law following your actions patiently.

You found it the perfect time.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you,” you said as you held your gaze at the open sea, “I like you.”

Law didn’t reply much. He was half-surprised and half not because he knew how you felt, but didn’t expect you to say it now. He hoped to initiate this type of thing so it wouldn’t come to him out of nowhere, but this was fine too.

He knew he liked you back, so it was fine too.

After a long pause, he said, “I like you too,” then formulated the proper follow-up in his head and added, “I want to be with you,” a few seconds later.

You smiled sweetly, finally looking at him as excitement built inside you. Your heart thumped wildly the same way it did over a month ago, at the restaurant where things first sparked, in the hallways where you shyly spoke, and during lunch breaks when work was calm enough for a quick interaction. Law rested an arm around your shoulders and you nestled in his warmth.

“You read my mind just right,” you said.

“Would that make us official?”

“I’d say it would.”

Law stroked a comforting thumb on your shoulder and pulled you closer to him. You laid your head on his chest and hummed in content.

As you both looked into the horizon, traffic noise toning down and your surroundings becoming vibrant with each passing second, your worries washed away. With Law closely seated next to you, everything in the world felt just right.

pls be the judge if i should continue writing in this length or if i should shorten/lengthen it a bit <3 i think the problem with this one was that it started off as a chaptered fic until i decided to ka-boom everything in just one post so it seemed rush. i haven’t written in over a year though so i’m really rusty. thank u lot for reading 😭🧡

#one piece #op anime #law one piece #law x y/n #law x you #law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw

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izzy-b-hands · 2 months

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15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @sherlockig, thank u Alexz!!

Under the cut bc I got wordy and rambly as per usual lol.

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Kind of? In that I more or less named myself after Izzy from our flag lol. Not that I'm going to tell everyone I meet that, but it is a big part of why I stuck with it after trying it out (that, and I've always wanted a name that had the letter zed in it, silly as that may seem.)

One of my middle names (that I had been using as a first name for a few years) is after my grandfather and aunt who also have that name as their middle name.

My deadname was after an actress famous in the 90s (tho tbh my mum apparently didn't choose it for that, she chose it bc she didn't find out my gender until I was Out and then was like 'aw fuck I don't have a name for this situation' and went with the first one she saw in a book of names a nurse gave her. It was only after that she remembered the actress when I was like. 4. that she changed and started telling ppl it was after that instead.)

And technically Holden is after the book character, but mum never actually read that book (and after I described it to her, said she has no interest in doing so lmao), she just liked how the name sounded and that was the one solitary name she for sure had on hand when I was born apparently. Could have saved us all time had she just used that one for me anyway!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Couple of nights ago. I'm doing better abt missing my cat Nisha, but my phone will toss up compilations of pics of her to mark the year/month/etc and sometimes those still get me. It popped up just before I went to bed that night and I was already so tired that I just. broke down. Bc I know she's v loved and looked after w/my mum, but I do miss her goofy lil self a lot. She was my first cat that was given to me and meant to be mine alone, and there's something abt that first pet bond I guess.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope, and it's not a likely thing for me. I've said before that that happening would be in a very specific situation, wherein I'm with someone who wants to dedicate the rest of our lives to raising a child, or god forbid more than one, tho I think I'd max out at two if I managed one at all tbh (and that's not even getting into the very complex for me thing of would I want to actually be pregnant ever (probably not, absolutely terrified of dying in childbirth and don't see myself getting over that easily), we have the funds to make that happen (and give the kid a good life, not just a decent one or 'could have been worse' like my own), and we feel stable mentally, emotionally, and physically (as much as one can outside of Life Happening of course) bc having a kid means putting allll of that first for them, ahead of yourself. Or at least I think it should mean that lol.

But that situation is incredibly unlikely considering my bigger goal in life is to wind up being a third for multiple couples while also fucking any of my friends who are down for it in a big poly ENM sort of thing for lack of better/more detailed definition (I know it sounds unrealistic and maybe it is to a degree, almost definitely is lol.)

I can admit I just. don't want to uproot the life I've been trying so hard to build for myself in so many ways, to have kids. I'll happily help babysit the kids of any friends tho and be the fun uncle that buys them junk food and lets them stay up late to watch movies. I think that's about the level of parenting of any kind that I can handle for now (also tbh I burned out on parenting bc my family admits they parentified the fuck outta me with my three younger cousins. It by far could have been worse, but I spent my teens spending most of my days after school helping look after them from the newborn years and on. Unless my above uber specific scenario happens, then I've probably had my fill of parenting for my lifetime.)

4. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I played volleyball for a few years in elementary school, and we were made to participate in a multi-school track and field thing for most of middle school every year, but I was never amazing at them. Housemate and I have figured out I likely have undiagnosed asthma tho (turns out running or going out in too cold or hot weather shouldn't instantly make you gasp, struggle to breathe, and make you taste iron in your mouth, who the fuck knew? Not me, genuinely) so I think that might have a lot to do with it.

I also enjoy tennis and badminton and would love to try rugby, but I've never played any of those beyond a hobby with family/friends.

5. DO YOU USE SARCASM?

I do! Probably too much and not always in the best situations, but I've been working for years to hone when and where it should be used so I think/hope I'm a lot better with it than I was when I was younger. Tho even then, I did get adults who found it funny when I was sarcastic bc of how adult I seemed to a lot of them (their words, not mine lmao.)

6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

I genuinely don't know. Usually I'm too busy running my script for meeting new ppl in my head and trying to maintain Common and Expected Etiquette to really notice much right away. I have found that after a bit of time/after the initial meeting has passed, I tend to notice colours ppl wear more often than others if I see them often enough, or hair colour. But I don't know if it counts towards this question at that point lol.

7. WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Kinda blueish grey? Some ppl say it's too grey to be blue, others that it's too blue to be grey. I had a lady at the ND DOT freak out abt not being sure if I should have blue or grey on my ID a few years back, and she finally just told me to put blue so 'she could stop feeling so confused.' Was a weird day and the first time I realised apparently they really do have a blend of both colours, enough for it to be upsetting lmao.

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

I can't choose between the two; I like both! I also like mixing them together when I write (a scary story with a happy ending, an ending that seems happy but is actually terrifying, so on and so forth.)

9. ANY TALENTS?

Writing? Maybe, I always list it bc it's something I know how to do and to (usually) do decently well. I can sort of draw? But not well enough that I think 'talented' would be accurate to describe how I draw lol. I'm not sure of anything else off the top of my head tbh.

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

In California, USA! We were there bc dad was in basic training for the Marines and then just got stuck at Camp Pendleton for years lmao (or that's how he always talks abt it anyway lmao.) Only was actually there until either: a. I was 3 months old, b. I was 6 months old or c. I was actually basically still a fresh newborn. Depends on whether you're talking to my dad, mum, or grandparents as to which answer you get, and at this point I'm genuinely uncertain as to exactly when mum left and took me to North Dakota but 6 months seems the most potentially accurate lmaooo.

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Writing, drawing, reading (not enough but I'm trying to remedy that), napping, watching movies/fave shows, and giffing.

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Kind of? My cat Nisha had to stay in North Dakota after I moved, so my mum and her bf are looking after her now (and got her a little sister, a kitten who is getting so big already!, named Bella.) I help Housemate look after aer two cats as well, and I'd like to think the boys consider me like their fun uncle lol (aka I bend over backwards for them and let them steal my spot on the couch all the time, and will break out the treats if needed to corral them now and then. In my defense: they are the cutest lil baby boy cats and they deserve the world, even when they're being little gremlins lmao.)

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Approximately somewhere between 5'3 and 5'4ish? I can't recall the last time I was actually measured, and most of the ppl I've been around were somewhere between those heights and I'm usually either slightly shorter or slightly taller than some of them, so??? I put 5'3 on my ID tho lol

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

English bc it was easy and I liked almost everything we did in that class. All my general and more specific history courses were a close second, and my foreign language classes a close third.

15. DREAM JOB?

Ideally, I'd love to not have to work. But who wouldn't, so that said, probably something in a library or museum. I'd love to be a library page again, or help work the front desk/docent duties of a museum. Working at someplace like Mystic Seaport would be amazing too; I'd be happy to learn how to help repair/repaint ships that come in or just help do tours or look after artifacts and stuff (tbh they could hire me just to type up any random data entry work they need done for any/all depts and I'd say yes to the job offer lol.) Unfortunately there's fairly significant roadblocks to me achieving any of these jobs rn, but I like to keep them in mind, just in case.

Also, if I can have one dream job that would be even more unlikely and is slightly TMI probably but: paid third for a rich couple. I show up, look nice, [redacted], make sure they're both good for the night, then go back home to Housemate (if it wouldn't be a night they'd want me to stay over, which I wouldn't be against but also. That would require some overtime pay lol.) The chances of this one are...so unlikely it's stupid funny, but a man's allowed to have dreams right lmao?

Tagging (if u guys wanna, no obligation if u don't wanna/have already been tagged/etc!!): @starmoonchildfromthebeamsabove, @freebooter4ever, @willowenigma, @turtleduck-tales, @mash1972, @mysteriouslybluepirate, @turtles-on-turts, @cononeillbreastingboobily, @treesofgreen, @dianetastesmetal, @arsenicflame, @gydima, @king-bussy, @p0ochy, @crvwly, and anyone else following me who wants to!

#text post #ask box things #or adjacent to that at least lol #long post #tagging w/that to be safe bc I am stoned and wordy rn #apolgoies for that and kudos if you read the whole thing lol #I admit im not sure who all has already been tagged so apologies if anyone i tagged has already done this recently fjlsadkfjsla #if u have or if ur just not feeling it pls don't feel obligated!#tbh this is one of the first times in awhile where I had more ppl i wanted to tag than the expected amount and i almost just tagged everyon #but then i was like. hm. ill do the expected fifteen and offer it up to anyone else too in case anyone else feels like doing this!#probably for the best since this post is already so long im so sorry u guys fjkalsfjdsklj

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sherbet-shark · 2 years

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Hello! Can I request for 🌸 15 "I will not ask you where you come from. I will not ask you, neither should you. Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips." by Hozier with Malleus? Hozier and Malleus both give bog prince vibes hahaha and I think it fits him nicely. Thank you!

Honeyed kisses

Author’s Note: This line matches with Malleus, I think, a lot! It’s beautifully eerily yet still has the subtexts of forlornness. I’m not sure what you mean by bog prince, but when I looked it up. It came up with the love interest of Love is Strange?? Please correct me if I’m sorely wrong xD.

It’s not a problem at all. I think Malleus is a fun character. He opens a lot of gateways for possible angst and lore building while still having a touch of inexperience. In this fic, I wanted to tackle his responsibility to his birthright, isolation, and that reader isn’t Mc/Yuu but a person that also summoned alongside Yuu.

╰┈➤ Also for the eng/new players, “Valley of Thorns” is Briar Valley. I liked the Japanese version of the country name a little more but I do like the reference to Sleeping Beauty for the ENG ver.

Trigger Warnings: Brief mentions of death, light angst, kissing, secret relationship, fae and human discrimination hints lore.

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: Malleus Draconia, mysterious heir apparent of the Valley of Thorns, once his studying has been completed, will claim the throne to be king. He never thought he’d even have a romantic partner at the esteemed magical school. The fae prince was content with learning all he could about the world outside his kingdom. But ever since you came into his life, things have taken an unexpected turn! But you must keep your union a secret due to his royal status. It leads you to this very moment, reveling in the company of stars and moon in the endless blanket of the night sky, twinkling at the lovers.

Sitting at your cluttered desk, full of papers and textbooks, you peer out your bedroom window, a soft cacophony of blush pink and honey colors stretching across the dappled skies. You marvel at how picturesque this fleeting moment of dusk is. The sight was something out of a painting, and the serenity and wonder made a smile appear on your face. The colors of the oncoming night were a beauty, but it was also a sign for you to get ready for your nightly meetup with someone dear to you.

Twisting your body in your chair, you could feel the muscles in your back strain, and cracks welcome your ears. You could already feel the soreness from being hunched over and scribbling on your math paper. Luckily, this packet wasn’t due till two days from now, so you could take a much-needed break from the never-ending equations. Scooting the chair back, you rose, walked to your closet, and retrieved your trusty jacket.

Malleus aimlessly wanders around his dorm as he through the dreary windows of the cobblestone castle to the skies above to see the vibrant colors fade in the darkness. Bright stars slowly start to flicker to life as he thoughtfully stares at the heavens. Despite his youth with fellow Fae countrymen, it was odd to remember that he’s been alive for a long time. Throughout his life, he met great rulers, people of unspeakable power and authority of their time.

His knowing eyes had seen and heard so many fleeting things, the tides of change ebbing at his beloved homeland. The country’s queen, his grandmother, was an excellent ruler, her words clad with eons of wisdom and love and welfare for her people in every action. He aspired to be a great ruler like his Grandmother. Soon, after his schooling ended at Night Raven College, he would assume the crown and become king but with new knowledge of the outside world and inklings of experience.

These years of his overseas learning wouldn’t only give him social experience with people from different walks of life and a way to understand the other governments of the world, to study how advanced the other nations were with technology and how the world spun now. It was a surprise for Malleus to see how much progress the humans had over his people, despite how short the human lifespan is compared to the Fae. A people grounded in deep-seated traditions and influential magic users populated his kingdom in stark contrast to the human’s contemporary and technological advances.

But after his enrollment, he had concluded that it would be impossible to say the feats and strides weren’t admirable. It still left the youthful prince in a state of amazement and alarm; he knew that the world was in relative peace, but he was taught to expect change. His people and himself needed to learn more about this alien world with the uncertainty of the future. The crown’s weight would sometimes be on his mind, but he never neglected his birthright. That would be unbecoming, and if he did, his court wouldn’t take kindly to that. No, he wasn’t blind to his court’s mixed with displeasure whispers and looks of approval when he announced his enrollment to the prestigious school for magic.

The raven-haired fae was adept and powerful in all sorts of magic but still made his advisors wary of their crown prince leaving their country for nine months for four years. But as he suggested to the Queen and the court, Lilia Vangrouge, the honored general, to accompany the Princeling. During the draconic-fae’s first year, Lilia had sworn to keep him safe, then, as a year passed, Silver enrolled to keep the heir safe, and now the enthusiastic Sebek soon joined the knights’ ranks to serve his highness. The years passed, but his objective still stayed the same. The distant prince intended to learn all he could for his benefit and his people.

But as the world had it, you appeared. It seemed out of thin air, but it was fortunate to meet a person who did not know how important he was, considering his royal status and who appeared to be fearless. Approaching the foreboding was either out of fearlessness or pigheadedness, and either of those options was a dangerous gambit.

You were putting yourself on a limb walking up to an unknown horned man. You were no fool to his suffocating and cold aura that this man emitting waves felt like, but something in the hands of the fates wrote in their sacred book that this odd pair were meant to be more than two fleeting strangers. He marveled at this human’s brazen demeanor as they spoke to him. The green-eyed man was left wondering if your brashness was out of fearlessness or ignorance.

Draconia was all the more intrigued by this magicless human before him. Malleus wasn’t dull in the slightest. He knew he ought to be respected and feared for the power he possessed, literal and figurative. The dragon Fae did not mind his peer’s hesitant and frightened gazes not anymore. He came to think that in the grand scheme of things, their whispers and stares did not matter much to him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t crave something more in his mind. Everything laid before him was temporary: the stars above, the seas below, the race’s life spans, and the beastmen’s paled in comparison to the proud Fae’s life. Humans are even more fleeting. All that mattered was the well-being of his kingdom and his people.

If that meant isolating himself even from even his trusted companions, then so be it. His responsibility to the crown and his birthright meant more to him than passing friendships with those around him, yet that does not mean the young heir couldn’t crave something more than the formalities of the court and those around him. Now, what exactly this ‘something’ was made the prince falter. What was it that he wanted? Was it the camaraderie? Was it to gain a confidante that understood his responsibility? He was still young. Lilia would remark at times while alone. Such youth, in the eyes of the olden general, cackled at the dorm leader’s peculiar naive queries. He still had much to learn, Lilia would fondly state as the vice dorm leader warmly smiled at Malleus.

The Diasomia leader folds his arms across his chest, one of his hands perches underneath his chin in thoughtful repose. The fading colors of the day disappear, and the night’s darkened reign slowly takes over from the window he looks out of, altogether forgoing something equally important. His mind wanders once more into his first meeting with you. The scent of magic didn’t waft from your person when you met. Usually, he’d be able to smell the aroma of magic from those gifted with the talent, no matter how faint. But you didn’t seem to have any traces of the coveted gift, which perturbed him. Only people with magic were enrolled at Night Raven College.

But as the months passed, with what seemed like a blink of an eye, your initial passing meetings became more frequent, and day by day, you got closer to the mysterious man. Malleus found you amusing, with your continuous questioning and carefree attitude you put on around the heir. Were you that oblivious to who he was, or did you try to get something for your gain by acting like you had no clue who he was? If it was the former, you did a good job keeping the future king fascinated, but once you showed your colors, he wouldn't hold back any of his spite.

But as the days flew by, the idea of your deception disappeared from his mind as you understood each other. You thought he was mysterious and intimidating, but all the same, it intrigued you to keep trying to befriend him and never answering any of his questions as to where you were from or how you came to be. The only thing quenching his curiosity was your vague answers, but eventually, something unexpected resulted in this coy game of cat and mouse. Or Lizard and mouse?

The dorm leader wistfully sighs, waking from his stupor of memories. The sky was now turning to a blanket of obsidian speckled white flickering dots greeting his focused gaze, the traces of the once colorful sky bid adieu. The pearl white moon glimmers and the moonlight outlines the crescent shape of the celestial body above. There was a mystique about this particular moon phase Malleus noted but never mind that. He let out another regretful grunt. Time once again slipped from his grasp. It wasn’t the first time either. It seemed that Fae’s internal clocks worked differently than humans no matter how hard he tried to best Father Time.

Even for a critical time such as this, the dorm leader glances sideways as he sees oddly alone in the comforts of the hall. Perfect time for a midnight stroll, and hopefully, you were still there at the agreed-upon area. Who knows how long you waited for him, and in the back of his mind, while it would pain him, it wouldn’t surprise him to be left alone in the company of the stars and moon. The crown prince retrieves his magical pen from his pocket and disappears into a cloud of soft green fireflies in his wake.

Draconia appears before a small forest. Malleus recalls talking with you about this and your private sessions together. He starts to stride through the dark woodlands, raven hair flowing behind him, sweeping away from his stoic face. His dorm uniform cascaded from his fast yet dominant pace. The crowded trees reveal a small field of wildflowers; moonlight guides his experienced movements and spots a figure quickly closing the distance. He instinctively tenses as he observes the figure close the distance between the two, yet a familiar yell-like whisper makes him relax, and a soft chuckle rolls from his lips.

“Do you have any idea how long I was waiting out here for you? An hour and twenty; you're lucky I have a jacket with me.” Squinting your eyes at the tall Fae, you scold him. You grip your arms and rub your hands up and down. While it wasn’t bone-chilling outside, it still had a touch of frost in the air.

“Yes, I sincerely apologize for keeping you so long, my rose. I got lost in my thoughts. I shall do my best next time to be more punctual.” The vibrato of his deep voice tries to soothe his love and apologizes with a forlorn expression painting his face; his haunting green eyes convey such a storm of emotions, both known and not.

You mutter half-heartedly and roll your eyes, arms unfolding as you move closer to the dorm leader. “It better be a good thought then. Do try to remember when we meet like this, though. But I’m happy you came.” The crescent moon peeks behind Malleus' form, perfectly sculpting the curves of his face and body. His lime green eyes stare into yours as you go to touch him. You marveled at how expressive his eyes were at times.

He had a deep loyalty to his people, and the responsibility weighed heavy on his shoulders. That’s why you offered him a simple yet thoughtful solution, to hide your union. Your suggestion miffed Malleus; while you defended your idea, he felt as if you were preparing for the worst or that you were ashamed of who had your heart. He certainly didn't feel any shame by your side, but at the same time, he had to commend your foresight, and as he graciously listened, the prince conceded.

It would be a massive deal to the people if they caught wind of their crown heir frivolously courting a person with no magic and who was not even a resident of Twisted Wonderland and no longer being with that person. That is also to say you would still feel the same as you do now. Nevertheless, the way Malleus’ would look at you at times, so unadulteratedly full of affection, made you feel a little more secure, but if that time came, you'd sweat those details when you got to that bridge.

“Oh yes, it was a good thought. I recalled the past. Now, how can I amend your time wasted on me? Perhaps a waltz in the moonlight? Or something more?” His voice etched with lighthearted teasing as he swept you into his warm reach, still peering beside him.

“Hmm, let me think.” A cheeky grin sets on your face as you lean into his familiar touch. The atmosphere between the two lovers was sweet and coveted, with only the twinkling stars and moon as their witnesses. You can sense the tall man patiently waiting to hear his lover’s request, and you pretend to think about what he could do for you. You already had your answer but weren't sure if he’d be comfortable with your jest.

Wriggling from his hand on your waist, turning to face him, you confidently state. You softly poke fun at Malleus’ in-depth thinking. You did want to kiss him but so that he’d feel happy. You gathered that his upbringing was old-fashioned, and in the back of your mind, you doubted he’d do so before marriage, but it was a nice thought, and you have something to tease him about. “I know, kiss me. Then I may find it in my heart to forgive, my forgetful prince.”

Malleus’ face flashes in bewilderment, almost making you want to take a picture of it as you hold back a laughing fit; you swore you would've seen him blush. Damnit lighting, you internally cursed as you snickered at his face. The person before Malleus had no problem being so bold, and it frankly made the prince glad to joke about with him; that, aside from what you wished for, made the dorm leader’s heart fastened and cheeks warmed. Lost in your laughing fit, you didn't see the equally playful coy smirk stretched across his face as he chuckled.

“If that is what you wish. Come to me then.” That one sentence left you a sputtering, embarrassing mess as you nervously gulped down your nerves. His authoritative command added more to your flustered mind, meekly approaching the Fae.

Hesitantly asked the dorm leader, “You’re not joking, right?” Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you tilted your head to his face to see if he meanly poked fun at your desire, but the way he met your gaze with a determined gleam in his eyes, he lightly shook his head, displeasing your worries.

“No, why would I lie to you, my rose? My heart is yours, and while we may be fleeting. I want to savor every moment with you as much as I can. In public or private. You're the only one I wish to love.” Malleus cups your cheeks in his gloved hands; despite how naive those words may be out of his long life, they make your heart swoon.

Accompanied by the celestial stars above you and Malleus, press your lips together sweetly. His lips were soft and tasted faintly of vanilla and honey, his comforting scent of pine trees and the smell of when the first rainfall fell upon the land. Breathing him in, you deepen your first hesitant kiss with your prince snaking your arms around his broad back and leaning into him. Slow and deliberate moves against your bodies, you both got used to kissing. Malleus had enough of playing coy as the raven-haired fae delved into your lips; he couldn't get enough of you. The gentle absent-minded circles you drew on his back to the moonlight graced your face.

Pulling away from Draconia in a breathless stupor, a dazed smile meets Malleus’ flushed expression, “My prince of honey.”

Tag list: @rrasado, @millybesippin, @hey-its-cweepy @luvielle

#twst x reader #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #twst malleus #disney twisted wonderland #twst #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland #sherbet writes #sherbet’s scenarios

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circa-specturgia · 1 year

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15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Since @tryingtimi @bloodlessheirbyjacques @the-void-writes @baroquesse, @awritingcaitlin and @agrimedena-drax all asked me (some twice, if you need any idea at how bad I am at answering asks), I’ve finally gotten around to writing it down…

I'll answer it for my main WIPs, Circa Specturgia's main character, Caspian. Answers being from him in the state he's in around the midpoint, or towards the end of the second arc of the story, if I were to guess!

Cas is sitting in front of a fire, a ways away from the camp where everyone else is staying, far enough away to be out of earshot when you sit beside him. He doesn't pay you much mind, though he doesn't brush you off, instead stoking the fire, which illuminates the bags under his eyes.

1. Are you named after anyone?

I am. We were able to know for sure that the A .in my name meant Alekos once we'd met V, though after meeting Mask the first time, we already suspected that it meant something to me. Though, I don't know if I can count it as being named after someone if I'm to be that persons incarnation...

Aside from that, Blackwood... It's where I'm supposedly from, but I'd like to think that I've made that my name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I’d rather not say. Or think about it.

3. Do you have kids?

Uh, no. Maybe I'd like to, in the future, though. If I can even really think about that right now. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if Mask can even... hmm. Maybe I should ask.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Never. Not once in my life have I ever used sarcasm for any reason.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Would you punch me if I said their ass?

He chuckles a bit once you do, before he straightens up, stoking the fire again.

Their eyes. You can usually tell a lot from the eyes.

6. What's your eye color?

Black. Or really dark grey? Like graphite, or obsidian. They apparently turn gold sometimes though. Whenever I do anything Antecendant. I’ve never looked in a mirror when it happens.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I'd like to hope for happy endings.

8. Any special talents?

I don't know if I can count my arsosteia as a talent? It's just something I can do, thought V said I have a knack for it. Kane would also– ...sorry.

He goes silent for a moment, having remembered something he'd rather have not, the fire dimming before he realizes it, and reignites the embers.

Uh, I guess Adira said once that I picked up fighting instincts quick.

9. Where were you born?

I… don’t really know. The Blackwood, I mentioned it earlier, was where I was apparently created, but I don’t know the details. If V knows, he didn't tell me. Cyril put down Layr Laiarta when sorting out my documents, so I guess that makes me a Vosiinæan on paper. I think that works for me. Maybe I'll settle down there. If I earn that happy ending.

10. What are your hobbies?

I liked reading, when I had time. The Royal University Library had a ton of books, and even if the ones on Matrixes gave me a headache I'd still take those over what we have to deal with these days.

Sparring is nice too. Both with or without specturgy. It lets everything sort of melt away, too.

11. Do you have any pets?

Do the runalongs count? I didn’t even know I could do it until recently but Mask taught me to summon them to me and they have my fire, so I guess that makes them my pets?

That said, Mask is enough of a creature themselves that I could call them my Pet…

12. What sports do you play/ have played?

Does sparring count? Adira and Cyril have us practicing nearly constantly. I don’t mind it, though. Like I said, helps me clear my head.

13. How tall are you?

6'5" or so? Cyril says I've gotten taller over the last year.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Gods, that feels forever ago... I think it would've been the the practice matches against Cyril. Or the control exercises, they were tough, but, finishing them felt good.

15. Dream Job?

He doesn't speak for a moment, looking into the fire.

I haven't let myself think that far ahead, yet.

I return the ask to @tryingtimi @bloodlessheirbyjacques @the-void-writes @baroquesse, @awritingcaitlin and @agrimedena-drax, and add on @magefaery @cherrybombfangirlwrites @verba-writing @ss-hawthorne @kainablue @wildswrites @jessica-writes22 @breath-of-eternity and @manuscriptsatmidnight!

Have fun!

#what he said about Cyril and Adira having him practice is a lie btw #he’ll just never admit it #he throws himself into practice and will work himself to the bone to distract himself from things #or to feel productive with work #to try and get better to protect those he loves #if anything his parents are more often than not trying to find ways to get him to stop running himself ragged #though they do encourage practice and varied exercises #writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writeblr community #fantasy writing #wip.circa specturgia #circa specturgia

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 1 year

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I posted 2,393 times in 2022

2,032 posts created (85%)

361 posts reblogged (15%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@therealvinelle

@theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin

@rankheresy

@franzias-cave

@odd-ysseus

I tagged 2,384 of my posts in 2022

#meta - 1,791 posts

#opinion - 1,730 posts

#twilight - 1,669 posts

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#therealvinelle - 563 posts

#bella swan - 496 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#and the twilight people just want want to know what happens if edward explodes in this particular scene with a burning curiosity

My Top Posts in 2022:

What if Bella and Aro swapped places, like Aro was magically put in Bella's body in Forks and Bella is in Aro's body in Volterra (and they keep their gifts)

Well, it'd be a strange day for both of them, that's for sure.

I assume this takes place in Twilight since you don't specify here.

The Swappening

Aro wakes up a... teenage girl and a human with no coordination. Naturally, he first thinks Volterra's under siege and he's facing off against a vampire that has him tripping balls. That or he found some gifted vampire that he's forgetting about who he tested on himself and it's--a very very very convincing illusion.

The first thing he does is try to snap out of it. He slaps his newly human face, gives himself a pep talk in the mirror, and eventually he gives up and starts investigating who he's supposed to be now.

Rooting through her room with very little decency, Aro discovers that he's a roughly 5'4" American seventeen-year-old girl by the name of Bella Swan with a drivers liscence from Phoenix, Arizona, who seems to be lower middle class, lives in a temperate climate with a very densely wooded area that looks like it might be the North American Pacific Northwest.

Going downstairs he meets Charlie Swan, who is apparently this Bella's father, and on touching his hand Aro realizes why Charlie isn't freaking out that his daughter isn't his daughter yet: he barely knows the girl, hasn't seen her in eight years, and Bella suddenly decided to come live with him for unknown reasons that are now lost because Aro is not Bella.

Aro suspects something nefarious with the divorced mother, Renee, and her new husband Phil.

He's not sure how he feels about that.

Regardless, he decides that for now he'll go to this school and when Charlie Swan is at work he'll use the telephone to make a long distance call to Volterra to try to sus out if he's a) under an illusion or b) has legitimately swapped bodies with this teenage girl.

(He also muses that if he is stuck like this... They're just going to have to turn this Bella Swan and make her disappear. Aro's not sure he likes being a teenage girl, but he supposes he'll just have to get used to it.)

At least he still has his gift.

Aro goes to school, pretends to be a human teenage girl who definitely had a human teenage past (luckily for him, the citizens of Forks are easy to please), and holy god there are vampires in the cafeteria with...

Golden eyes. And the last name Cullen. And their father is a Dr. Carlisle Cullen who works in the hospital.

FORGET SCHOOL!

Bellaro never makes it to Biology as he claims a sudden stomachache, sprints out of the school (nearly tripping seventeen times) and drives to the hospital.

"CARLISLE!" Aro shouts and... Carlisle sees teenage Bella Swan, bursting into his office with a grin on her face, like it's every Christmas all at once.

"Can I help you?" Carlisle asks, very very very confused.

Aro then remembers he's now Bella Swan.

He speeds through the explanation, "Carlisle, it's me, Aro, either I'm hallucinating or I appear to have become a teenage girl named Bella Swan. Not sure which yet, BUT I HEARD YOU WERE HERE! Also, can I use your phone?"

Bellaro then touches Carlisle's hand and... After Bella then starts gushing about what Carlisle's been up to for the past three hundred years and referencing a lot of shit that happened in Volterra that no one knows about... This is Aro.

In Bella Swan's body.

What the fuck.

Carlisle asks how this even happened.

Aro shrugs, he hasn't the foggiest, weirdest day of his life so far.

THEN WHO IS IN VOLTERRA, ARO?!

"Well, given my current circumstances, probably poor Bella Swan. I imagine she's dreadfully confused right about now."

Carlisle immediately takes Aro home to call Volterra. They're put through and.... after five attempts Caius finally answers. Aro's out and he's VERY VERY BUSY. Aro then buts in, "Is Aro by any chance actually in but acting very strange and claiming to be someone by the name of Bella Swan?"

Caius says nothing.

See the full post

195 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

What if bella, human, could read Edwards mind?

Well, she would have a wild time. I'm assuming that Edward can still read minds and that he can't read her mind, and that Bella can only read Edward's mind, for the sake of my sanity.

Alright, here we go.

Bella enters Forks high school, and the day goes as normal up until the Cullens enter the cafeteria. There, Bella is treated to a voice in her head (oddly melodic and pleasant sounding) rambling on about how he's in purgatory filled with mortal plebians and someone named Jasper is going to eat the entire fucking school.

Bella, needless to say, is very confused and very disturbed.

Her new lunchmates notice. Bella, what's wrong?

"Uh," Bella says as the voice in her head now seems to be dissecting her (and seems to find her overrated, mousey, and obnoxious).

Bella eventually says she has to go to the bathroom (the voice mocking her as she goes), where she huddles in a corner and wheezes into a paper bag. She calls home, telling Charlie she's sick, and spends the evening crying and hating herself for a) being a freak b) possibly going insane.

(Edward, meanwhile, doesn't share Biology with Bella Swan, has a grand old time, and thinks the new girl is highly overrated, an attention whore, and an invalid.)

The next morning Bella gathers her courage, alright, she can do this. No voices in her head today, thank you very much.

She gets to school.

There's a fucking voice in her head.

GODDAMMIT.

Bella nearly turns around right there but she's already the school freakjob who skipped her first day. If she has voices in her head--then she has voices in her head and this is just going to be the rest of her life. She endeavors not to let anyone ever know and go about her life as a normal person.

This turns out to be very hard.

First, it's very distracting having someone ramble sweet nonsense in your brain. Second, voice in the head says some seriously messed up shit.

The voice in her head appears to belong to a telepath who knows everyone else's thoughts (which means Bella gets everyone's thoughts through Edward), he seems to be a vampire? (he certainly wants to eat people and talks about 'control' a lot), and after half a day she's pretty sure voice in the head is Edward Cullen.

She looks at them in the cafeteria. She can't help but notice that even if she has a voice in her head--they don't look human. She could believe they're vampires. Of course, she might be hallucinating their appearance (she does have a voice in her head), she grills Jessica. Jessica admits they're insanely beautiful, weirdly pale, and also incestuous.

Bella--didn't know that last part. Huh. Well.

Bella's not sure she wants to attend class with man eating demons. But that would mean admitting she's a hallucinating freak. She goes to class.

She regrets everything immediately.

First, Edward stares at her like the shark in Jaws, second his thoughts have become terrifying. He's going on some weird inner monologue about his father? (the thoughts seem awfully... incestuous to be about his father) and is actively planning how to best murder the entire class to eat her while bemoaning that this is all stupid Bella's stupid delicious fault. Bella sits in her seat next to him in stark terror.

Bella somehow survives class (just barely as she now is witness to Edward's planning to lure her into the woods alone or break into her house so he can eat her). She wanders in a daze to her car and wonders if maybe, just maybe, she should go to Florida.

Well, it's a good day to die.

Bella tells Charlie that she has decided to camp out in the yard. Forever. Is it winter? Doesn't matter. She's camping out in the yard (this way, if Edward does decide to eat her, he's less likely to eat Charlie immediately after.) Charlie, who doesn't know how to deal with a daughter, throws his hands in the air and Bella now lives in a tent in the yard.

It's very cold.

Bella is shocked to learn that Edward did not kill her in her sleep that night.

She's even more shocked to learn that he's out sick the next day. (She doesn't think he's out sick). She hesitantly wonders if this means she's free.

A week later, she's not, Edward returns and per his thoughts he's decided he must reclaim his pride and face Bella Swan (his nemesis) head on. He also wants to learn what she knows in case he slipped and revealed his vampire nature in front of her (a bit late for that, Edward, Bella thinks to herself.)

Edward starts grilling her in biology. It's weird. Bella decides to give him as little information as possible (she does not need this guy knowing where her mother lives). For some reason, her answers intrigue Edward, Bella just dies inside. He still really really really wants to eat her.

See the full post

208 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

What if, for some reason, let's say Bella had a Quilute ancestor at some point, Bella shifted in New Moon? Would Edward still be with her, despite the wet dog smell, just leave Forks, or eat her? (Bella gets eaten a lot on this blog)

Pfffft, oh, anon, this would have been both hilarious and awful.

Okay, so Twilight remains the same as at that point Bella did not smell. Well, she smelled, but she smelled delicious. So, we're all good.

Edward nobly leaves, Bella becomes seriously depressed, yadda yadda yadda.

Then, Bella gets sick, extremely sick, and Charlie's life gets seriously weird. His daughter has turned into a giant dog, it's like Kafka's the Metamorphosis, but with dogs. Thanks to sudden telepathy, Sam finds out about this and Billy is able to come over and have the world's most awkward conversation with Charlie.

Bella now gets the joys of running around the woods eating vampires (who exist by the way), getting oogled by teenage boys whenever she turns back with no clothes, having to chop off all her hair, and oh she might do this thing called 'imprinting' that's... let's not talk about it.

Charlie is a champ but he's very very very pissed off at whoever's ancestor had sex with someone in the werewolf line.

Bella's devastated. She's had to chop off all her hair (which gets her shit at school) she has 0 agency anymore, Jacob is staring at her naked, and she's a freak (being one of two shapeshifting women). Leah, I imagine actually takes Bella under her wing because of this and they become very close. Female solidarity (Bella is also just so very sad).

Added on top of this, Bella and Edward are over and everyone knows it. Not only did he now leave but now she can never be turned and he will look and smell disgusting to her. Just like Laurent and Victoria now look and smell disgusting.

Bella tries to tell herself she can get over this for love but Leah points out that Bella doesn't actually like Edward. Everything she lists off that she loves is how vampires look to humans, not shapeshifters. On further reflection, Bella realizes she knows next to nothing about Edward much less if she likes these things about him.

This is a horrible, devastating, blow that makes her almost grateful Edward left. SHE'LL ALWAYS HAVE HER MEMORIES.

Well, eventually Alice shows up, as thanks to being a shapeshifter, Bella has completely disappeared. Bella is once again presumed dead and... Oh dear god, Alice did not see this coming. Alice and Bella stare at each other awkwardly (Bella wants to cry because Alice smells and looks like a demon, Alice wants to cry because Bella smells like a dog and this ruins everything.)

It gets worse, Edward has decided to kill himself. This time, thanks to Bella being a werewolf, Alice can't see any way to stop him. If Carlisle has his phone on him this time around, she likely calls him to stall Aro and head to Italy. If he doesn't... Edward successfully kills himself.

Bella is even more distraught as, indirectly, she has caused Edward's death.

If he survives I imagine he comes back in a panic (as everything's terrible now and his plan didn't work out) and... Bella smells awful. Her beautiful, wonderful, torturous scent is gone. Esme thinks this is great, now it won't hurt for them to be near each other anymore and true love can win through. Better, Bella can be immortal and human! Just like Edward wanted! Isn't this great Edward!

Edward tries to pretend it's great because if it's not great then he has to admit that what he loved about Bella was her delicious smell and feminine aesthetic (gone as Bella had to chop off her hair). Unfortunately for him, Bella has admitted their relationship was superficial garbage and keeps insisting they're over. He spends Eclipse trying to win her back and convince himself he loves her new smell with increasing desperation.

However, in the background of all of this is that Aro has probably personally come to Forks to ensure this Bella girl gets turned (as Bella herself was not in Volterra and he probably had to appease Caius with 'I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO IT') Now, on the one hand, Bella appears to be a new species that cannot be turned so there's nothing for him to do and the secret is intact he supposes, on the other hand it appears this Victoria woman has summoned an army and gone insane. The Volturi deal with the army while Aro is a fly on the wall for the Cullen melodrama that is "Will Edward and Bella Get Together or Not", which of course makes everything worse. Oddly entertaining for Aro, though, even as he finds himself having to give poor Bella Swan relationship advice.

Edward doesn't end up eating Bella (she smells terrible) but their relationship very likely doesn't work out either. Though Edward ever giving up on them is... unlikely. Bella may have to throw him off a cliff somewhere shouting "I LOVE YOU!" while sobbing.

265 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Why does Edward hate the Volturi so much? I mean pre-New Moon. He’s never met them, Carlisle has personally spent time with them and while he disapproves of their drinking human blood, he hasn’t painted them as warlords (that’s just Caius). He might have heard about Tanya’s mother, but after learning about the immortal child, that execution makes sense. Every point Edward has against them is either wildly exaggerated or false, and I don’t get the hate before NM especially.

A few reasons.

Carlisle Had a Life and Friends Before Edward

Carlisle lived several hundred years before he turned Edward. Yet, Edward, in his tale of Carlisle's life skips over nearly all of them. There's Carlisle finding the diet, he pursues and education, then suddenly we're in America and he's turning Edward.

Except, even Edward can't write off the Volturi.

There is a painting of them in his house, they are so important Edward relates them in the story to Bella. He downplays it as much as he can, Carlisle didn't stay long (twenty years), they were friends but the major ideological difference got in the way, etc. However, Edward can't leave them out.

This bothers him immensely.

He hates that painting, he hates the idea that the coven as it is didn't always exist, that there was a Carlisle he didn't know who had very close friends he lived with. Close friends who were not on the diet.

This profoundly disturbed and bothers Edward.

They're Not on the Diet and Edward Hates All Vampires

To Edward, vampires not on the diet are akin to Voldemort. They are inherently wicked beings who are driven by evil. While some are friends and Edward admits as much it's always with the feeling that they are lesser beings. They have no true ability to understand friendship, to form relationships with one another, and the Cullens and Denali are inherently better because of their diet.

The Volturi may be cultured patrons of the arts but they are not on the diet and have no intention of pursuing it. This in a way makes them worse as they pretend to be cultured, lovers of humanity when really they're just as soulless as all other vampires.

(And we'll skip over the portion where Edward left to eat people for years on his own telling Carlisle he wasn't the boss of him and doing it solely because he was curious what spectacular food he was missing out on.)

Does Edward Hate Them Pre-New Moon?

Not really.

I'd say he mildly respects them.

Oh, their existence bothers him and their law really bothers him when it means he'll have to either turn or murder Bella. However, he respects them.

Of the vampires who are Carlisle's friends he seems to view them as the most cultured, civilized, and dignified.

Again, he's not their biggest fan when it comes to what this means about Bella and when the law gets in his way, but he uses very mild language when explaining their role to Bella and he's relatively neutral when discussing them.

Remember that, when he wishes to kill himself, they are where he plans to go. He wants a noble, virtuous, death at the hands of these rulers.

The hatred comes in when they say no.

Edward hadn't planned on that.

Then, later, Bella is alive and suddenly they are A THREAT. They demand Bella be turned, the worst thing in the world, and suddenly Alice herself may be in danger.

I'd say Edward's hatred cements itself/comes into being in New Moon when suddenly the Volturi become far more than just a distant concept to Edward but instead the obstacle standing in the way of everything he wants.

If there were no Volturi then there would have been no need to turn Bella into a vampire, after all.

324 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Omfg!! Ffn is closing?? Where did you hear this? I don’t see anyone else talking about this!!

Okay, calm down people.

I didn't hear it from anybody. There's no official word. HOWEVER, I've seen the signs and the signs aren't good.

All Hints of Moderation Have Ceased

There used to be a pretty rigorous team of moderators who ran the site but it's noted (and not just by me) that for a while they haven't seemed as responsive if they've been responsive at all.

Fics that would have been pulled in a heartbeat stay up. Spam bots do seem to have taken over PMs.

Their Authentication Server's Been Wonky

The authentication server has sometimes been entirely non-functional for users. In my case, fanfiction has kept me logged in for an eeriely long time, far longer than it ever used to.

Their Email Server's Been Black Listed

Their email server has been black listed by a prominent email provider (i.e. mine). I'm not talking sent to junk, I'm talking it will not send to the inbox as in it has been straight up black listed. Their solution to this is to tell me, the user, to white list their email rather than improve their reputation.

This is a terrible solution and a sign that things are not good.

Rather Than Pay for More Servers They Use Cloud Flare

It's probably been noticed by everyone that they're employing DDOS protection via cloudflare. Well, that's nice and all, except that it's slow, clunky, and annoying. It's not a good user experience and the more expensive but good option would be to up the number of servers they have or use a more seamless DDOS protection solution.

This is a sign they're not willing to spend the money for the good stuff.

The Proliferation of Ads

Fanfiction is now riddled with ads when not using ad block. It's ads every few paragraphs, completely breaking up a story. It's utterl illegible. To me this reeks of trying to wring out every last cent out of viewership without putting in effort of attracting people.

They know people are leaving so they've stopped trying at all.

They Didn't Renew Their Cert

Now, this I heard from somebody else but this IS THE SIGN. They didn't renew the cert for their website. Now, it expires in several years, but when it does you will no longer be able to traverse safely to the site and it may not even exist.

What Does All This Mean?

Is fanfiction going down today or tomorrow?

No.

But it means that if the email server fails... they might not fix it. If the authentication server fails... they might not fix it. If one of their databases fails and they have no backup... those fics might be gone.

It means that access could be lost, certainly for me as an author, with no warning and I may not get it back.

2,304 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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storybounded · 4 months

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15 Questions For The Writer

1. Are you named after anyone? Off of tumblr, my family named me after a character from the soap opera, 'D.ays of our Lives'.

2. When was the last time you cried? Mmmm. Christmas eve? Not going to divulge in that though haha. Just out of frustration.

3. Do you have kids? No.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh yes, though I try not to use it against people who I don't know or who aren't keen with it. But if I hear someone use sarcasm, I'll do it right back.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Mainly what clothes they are wearing. Or if they have a cute bag. Or listening to them react to their environment, whether it's positive or negative.

I can't look into faces of strangers I don't know. I know in interviews with a stranger for a job, it's a lot different, but I still have to force myself to give eye contact. Otherwise, it makes me physically uncomfortable if I don't know a person. So my eyes are usually drawn by colors of apparel first, or the sounds going on around me.

6. What’s your eye colour? Hazel Green

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings rn. I cannot physically stomach scary movies (or even shows with 'everyday' scary themes currently, but I know I will get back to those eventually).

But I was ruined with scary movies in 4th /5th grade when one of my old friends forced me to watch em'. I never recovered and C.huckie still is the stuff of nightmares to me, I cannot look at a baby doll the same way again 😂

8. Any special talents? ...falling up the steps rather than falling down. I swear, the amount of times I do it. Even my dog does it from time to time ( though she is very fine, she just slips on one step up but never falls completely.)

9. Where were you born? USA, Georgia.

11. Have you any pets? I am on my second pupper! First one passed of old age after high school, and I got the second a year and a half later and she is still going strong 😊

12. What sport do you play/have played? Oh my god. I am a limp noodle when it comes to sports and I don't play anything currently. I would be 'THAT kid who would be the last one to be chosen' type of bad LMAO

When I was little, my parents tried to force me to do sports, which is probably why I hated them for so long (though I have grown to appreciate them a decade ago and will not say no to trying out new things).

I know I did gymnastics in like...early elementary school years...I have a few plastic participation trophies from them l m a o. But I honestly cannot remember anything about it but the big foam cube pool. Ballet, but that did not last long at all despite also having two or three participation trophies. Little me HATED it. I felt so embarrassed wearing those frilly tutus during recitals... I was not that kind of little girl. It even came up during Christmas recently, and my grandpa admitted to me that I NEVER looked like I was having fun during those show recitals, I always had this look of ' 'I have no clue what I am doing' and 'why am I here' while my mom and grandma always raved about how cute I look in that heavy makeup lmao. Because apparently I never looked out to the crowd, I always watched what the other kids were doing and tried to keep up. 😂 I think I must've been like. 5 at the time.

I think?? I did one lesson with horse riding, but even though I enjoyed it, I was never taken back to it. But I was so little and I realize now that costs are expensive l m a o.

I think I went to tennis practice two times in elementary and was done. They tried to put me in cheerleading classes, which was laughable, I did one class and said no. Karate...was more interesting in middle school since it was the first time I chose it, but I was frustrated that I could never remember what to do during performances and my parents were never supportive anyway since they wanted me to be in the "girly girl" sports.

All in all, all the personal sports memories I have are rather negative, which was unfortunate.

13. How tall are you? 5 foot 3 inches. s m o l l.

14. Favourite subject in school? Other than art, I loved when the football coaches in high school taught history because they made it fun.

15. Dream job? I would absolutely love to do something with my art. Currently, taking baby steps to make them feel achievable. Current SMALL dream is to open up an etsy to run on side while working a job. I got a heat press to make shirts, and I got a cricut to make all sorts of others things.

tagging: YOU tagged by: @yukikorogashi (thank you friendo!)

#&&. the author speaks ( ooc )#&&. memes ( answered )

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eemasu · 6 months

Note

do you have any recommendations for learning japanese? any handbooks, dictionaries, sites and such?

I will begin by saying that I am not the best person to ask this question. I am not fluent at Japanese and, barring some unfathomable miracle, I never will be. The time that I have for studying Japanese has become less and less in recent months, and it is not unlikely that I will be forced to give it up entirely in the near future. But I will answer this question to the best of my ability.

Of the four people who I knew of in person who were able to become fluent in Japanese extremely quickly, I partially learned of the tactics of two of them. One of them used an app named Yomiwa, which can be used on Japanese news websites to provide convenient English translations of the words that are used in the Japanese sentences. I have never used it much because it seems to be intended for people with more time on their hands, but this app is either free or easily affordable.

The other aforementioned person who became fluent I think used a website called Animelon, which has/had anime episodes with Japanese subtitles. I don't know whether it still exists. This person also recommended a light novel series that is titled "Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear", which apparently has Japanese sentences that are easy to read. This person, by memorising a minimum of 15 additional Japanese words a day, attained full Japanese fluency in ONE YEAR. A mind-blowing feat for someone who was in their late teens and didn't even live in Japan.

A free website for learning Japanese that was recommended to me years ago is named imabi dot org. I used it for learning kana, but not much after that. I felt that its explanation of how to write Kanji could have been better. I never made a serious attempt to learn grammar from it.

For another electronic option, try looking up Japanese apps for learning Kanji (漢字). These are mostly intended for Japanese children, but can be useful to any learners of the language. I don't think that any of these apps are free, but they should be affordable.

The following is all stuff that costs money.

The books that I was taught with were the "Genki" books and the textbook pictured below. The Genki textbooks and workbooks are for absolute beginners, and the workbooks also have an answer key book available. The pictured textbook does also have a workbook, but I don't think that that workbook has an answer key book for it.

This book series is top-of-the-line for learning Japanese grammar, so look no further. They are quite expensive, but are worth every cent. There is also one for beginners, which is yellow, although the Intermediate one isn't all that hard to use. As you might expect, the Advanced one uses long and complex Japanese sentences with a lot of technical terms, so it isn't for everyone.

I am not sure whether this book is still in print, but it is easily the most user-friendly large Kanji guide that I have found so far. Kanji are displayed in two columns on each page, and with plenty of compounds. Kodansha has other Kanji books as well, but this is the best one. It will be worth trying to find.

I have mixed feelings about this one. Although it contains plenty of Kanji, many of the English translations that are provided for the words that use these Kanji are extremely inadequate. Worse yet, the definitions of each Kanji's meaning are written in Japanese, which is of no help to people who are still learning. The example sentences for how to use the words that have Kanji are mostly good, though, so I will give it that.

Japanese children's books can also be helpful. This one has a huge number of useful Japanese nouns, and its lack of Kanji makes it a good option for beginners.

In any case, though this is hopefully obvious, remember not to literally judge a book by its cover. A Japanese textbook that has pretty photographs or patterns or anime characters on the front is not necessarily going to be good for studying from. The one shown below is not bad, but there are better resources out there.

I hope that this helped.

#long post

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purplesurveys · 7 months

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1749

How old were you 10 years ago? I was 15.

The last time you went out to eat, where did you go? I already talked about it in detail in a previous survey but my workmates and I went to a wine bar for Trina's despedida. We went to a nearby bar after for more filling bar chow cos all they had in the first place were light finger food meant to be paired with wine.

What did you order? For the wine bar, we got a few bottles of wine, clams, a cheese plate, and fries; for the bar, we had chips, sisig, and mac and cheese balls.

Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favourite character? I can't remember the last movie I saw because I rarely watch any anymore; but the last anything I watched was Prison Playbook. I'm only one episode in, but my favorite has been the sweet dude who was part of the same inmate batch as the main character. Least suspicious character so far, and it helps to know that his reason for getting incarcerated was merely because he didn't pay back the loan for his mom's surgery.

Do you use Twitter? How about Tumblr? I do use both, although I'm much more active on Twitter because all I do here is take surveys on weekends and the occasional weeknight.

What colour are the walls of the room you’re in? They're white.

What would you like to say to the last person that hurt you? I have not felt hurt by my loved ones for a very long time now. That feels pretty great to realize!

When was the last time you felt disappointed? Who/what cheered you up? I was soooo bummed last Friday – I had booked a visit to a museum, but I didn't expect the traffic to be absolutely awful (it was mid-afternoon, when roads would be relatively more relaxed) that I got to my destination 40 minutes after my reserved slot. It was also the last timeslot for the day, so it wasn't like I could just join the next batch of visitors.

I figured it'd be stupid of me to even show up lol, so I just went to the food hall next door, which also ended up sucking because there was no cell signal inside; I couldn't even use my data. At least I got a delicious spicy tuna poke from my visit.

Do you have a friend whose name starts with ‘L’? Describe him/her. There's Lea and Leigh. Lea is SUPER friendly, I love love love having conversations with her so it's a shame we see each other so rarely; I also see her as headstrong, ambitious, and intelligent. Leigh is creative, gentle, and a really talented singer.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? Holy shit I suck at waking up, I must have missed Jungkook's set at the Global Citizen Festival and I hate myself. Then I checked my Twitter (it was 7 AM by that point; they advertised the set as starting at 4 AM, Manila time) and apparently he was still in the middle of doing Seven LOL. Man did his set three hours late so I got to still hang out with him for a few minutes AND see the teaser for 3D!!!

Have you received any compliments today? Nah.

Describe one of your favourite items of clothing. Where did you get it? My brown sleeveless maxi dress - just Shopee, haha.

Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter A. Arancini.

Is there anyone from your past that you sometimes miss? Tell me about them. Only people I can think are Sofie and my grandpa. Sofie was my best friend in high school and we were each other's biggest confidantes. She was born overseas but since her parents were incapable of raising her and were separated, she was sent back here from childhood, and that's how she ended up in my school by around Grade 7. She had hair as thick as mine, loved makeup, and got me into Audrey Hepburn. We grew apart in college and saw each other a grand time of Once before she migrated to the UK this time last year. Our relationship post-drifting-apart has been wholesome and there's been absolutely no grudge or bad blood or whatever. I was raised around my grandpa routinely telling me random trivia and general knowledge, and I think I got my love from learning from him. He is a gifted writer and he apparently used to write my grandmother poems when they were younger, and is into history. If there is one thing he can't handle well, it's alcohol, and I have my fair share of trauma from what I've seen of him when he has had too much to drink. Nevertheless I think of him fondly, especially for the person he was without his brandy. He died in 2015 from a sudden heart attack when he was visiting family from our province.

How long have you known the last person you text messaged? Since 2020.

Do you know what the person you miss is doing at this moment? Probably on his lunch break.

Has anyone told you that they love you today? Yes.

In the last week, what’s the kindest thing that someone has done for you? My sister making me instant noodles when I asked her.

Is there a song that makes you cry every time you hear it? We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal has been a little rougher to listen to these days. So has Love Letters.

If someone read your mind right now, what would they hear? They would hear remnants of Le Sserafim's Fire In the Belly because I can't stop thinking about it lmao.

Do you have any favourite jewellery that you wear every day? Yes, my purple heart charm necklace that Reena gave me.

What colour are the eyes of the last male you talked to? Dark brown.

Are you wearing anything orange or red? Yes.

Who was the last person you said “hello” to? Idk, I think my sister.

I like to think there is always something to smile about…so, tell me, what’s your reason to smile right now? News about my potential resignation has apparently spread at work so I'm just happy that I'm not bearing it on my own anymore. They know I have plans to leave and they know I'm not too thrilled with my promotion, so at least I don't have to worry about violent reactions when the timing is finally right to step back and step out.

Also, Jungkook new single on Friday.

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bubbleslimesoda · 8 months

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Sharing My Story

Trigger Warning for mentions of: Eating disorders, abuse, emotional blackmail, self harm, threats of suicide, sexual assault, physical assault, racism, homophobia/bigotry ideals and manipulation

^Please only read if you have read the warning!^

I’ve been wanting to talk about this for some times as it has been so many years and yet I still get PTSD from this.

When I was 15-16 I was in a relationship with someone I’ll just call ‘that guy’/‘guy’ (I don’t even want to give him a creative name). I will also specify that he is the same age as me although when I started dating him I was told by a doctor that my mental age was apparently “half my actual age”.

Now I can’t even remember how this relationship started because to me it felt like “Oh we’ve been hanging out for a long time, I guess we’re going out now” also just to make it clear I had only been in one other relationship before this one and I’d felt the same way, I currently identify as grey aro/ace although I still question myself on it.

And a small detail about before this relationship, I had actually witnessed ‘that guy’ grab a half full bottle of water and hold a student while repeatedly hitting them really really hard with it, idk why at the time I didn’t see this as a red flag but then again I was about 14-15.

In this relationship at first I was told to be quiet about it unless I’d expressed how it made me feel sad as I was to feel like ‘that guy’ was ashamed of me for some reason.

I don’t want to go into full detail of every single thing that happened as it was very traumatic so the less I think about it the better. I’m going to make a list of things that happened instead.

• Kicked me in the head

• Hit me on my lower back

• Pulled my arm so hard my shoulder was in pain for a few weeks

• Bullied my ex and tried to convince me that my ex assaulted me

• Told me that I was “practically a boy” because I was bi (I wasn’t at the time) and that he was a girl because he was bi (Just pointing out how he seems to associate someone’s sexually with their gender identity)

• Would start an argument if I show little discomfort/felt upset by something he did or said

• Said he would kill my favourite tv show characters if he got the chance (I’m autistic and I think you can see why telling an autistic teen this is pretty fucked up)

• Made fun of and got angry at me for my autistic traits such as not liking loud sounds, bright lights and repetitive sounds and motion

• Referred to my eating disorder, ARFID as “being a picky eater” and when I expressed it upset me he showed no remorse and said he was “just joking”

• Putting words in my mouth. For example if he asked “Why would someone suddenly be acting different?” And I would reply “Idk. A big change in their life, loss of someone close, drugs, alcohol, into something new, money?” He would turn around say I was accusing him of doing drugs (I really don’t know how he would make those stretches)

• Manipulated me into acting in a way that was more sexual than what I was comfortable with

• Would then tell me off for said behaviour but then would make remarks or show disinterest in me when I stopped

• Touched me without permission or while I was asleep even though I had expressed discomfort or even said no (I would wake up from it or have noticeable signs of it when I woke up)

• Made jokes about Asian people’s eyes

• Isolated me from friends and made it so I could only be friends with his friends

• Threats of self harm and taking his own life when he wouldn’t get his way

I know that was long and thank you if you’ve read this far. This is very hard for me to write as I keep needing to take breaks to calm myself down.

When I was 15-16 I was very into Rick and Morty and I suggested it to ‘that guy’ since I genuinely thought he would like it. He said we’d watched it before but I pointed out that he was never paying attention to which he just seemed to flip out about. I told him it wasn’t going to work to which he threatened self harm and worse so I agreed to stay with him. The next day he then “broke up with me” as far as I was concerned it had already ended when I said it wasn’t going to work but we still tried to be friends.

After that I had so many nice and kind people come back into my life which I was a very emotional thing for me because it felt like I was asleep or cut off from reality before hand. It seemed that the rest of the school knew about ‘guy’s’ behaviour as no one wanted to talk to him or be friends with him after everything, we could just stand in this corner staring at me and my friends while texting as we spent our breaks talking and such.

A few days after it happened I was sat with my friends and suddenly got a call from my mum saying that ‘guy’s’ parents had called her saying that I had been bullying him to which I had to point out that no, I wasn’t bullying him. I was just sitting with my friends and talking while ‘that guy’ was staring at us in a corner.

After that I did my exams and went to college only to find out that ‘guy’ had copied me on what course I was taking, I had actual helped him get into a different course to me but he still decided to take the course I was taking.

Now I did try to be civil, I didn’t acknowledge him or talk about him/to him until he asked if we could be friends(I was 16 at the time btw, I’m the UK you go to college at about 16 and then uni after about 3 years). I foolishly said yes.

One day my friend who I’d met in that course who had ME was going to be late and was worried about being seated near someone who kept messaging them about drinking and made them uncomfortable. I had a different class before our one so I asked ‘that guy’ if he could save them a seat and he said no which I was fine with but then he went on to say that I was “bullying him by asking him to save them a seat” and after I told him that’s not how it worked he said “I wouldn’t let him be bi while we were dating”, I was actually very supportive and happy for him during that time. I told him repeatedly to leave me alone and blocked him.

Now for this last bit I’m going to go back about it. Before we started dating he was dating another girl who had left our school due to depression and I was actually close with her and I was very sad and worried when she left. Idk how they broke up but the girl was at my college and I was so relieved and happy that she was okay I went to say hello to her. She screamed at me and I went home that day because someone had told me that ‘guy’ had “told everyone I abused him”(I also found out that she started dating ‘guy’), this was so overwhelming and upsetting that it is actually what started my PTSD.

Despite what I had managed to survive, doing the right thing by not talking to him or about him (apart from to two close friends at the time) and worrying about someone for years who I had no contact with I was now being accused of this horrible horrible thing that I had to live through. I even struggled to stand properly that day because of how scared, breathless and distraught I felt. I had even become terrified of saying his name because that’s how much hearing or saying it would fill me with fear.

They were reported and felt with for what had happened but for the rest of the year ‘guy’ and his girlfriend harassed and bullied me and they even harassed my mother at certain points. It was the worst first year of college I think anyone could’ve had and I would never wish it on anyone.

After that I went into the next year being in a different group to him(it’s also where I met my current best friend)and then the following year the groups merged but it seemed he didn’t have any friends again and I had actually made friends with some of the people he told I was abusive. One even said while I was helping them at their house “I’m sorry that I believed him, you’re actually really sweet and nice” which felt amazing to hear after all that trauma.

Today I still suffer with really bad PTSD attacks related to what happened before and during that first year of college. I guess I get paranoid that maybe the same thing will happen again somehow in the future so making this post is my way of venting about this, and bringing awareness to it as I know I’m not the only one who has been abused only to have that person tell you “it’s your fault” or “you’re actually the abusive one” despite having had to deal with similar or even the same thing as me. And people like ‘that guy’ will always be around trying to snake their way back into your life just to hurt you or make themselves a victim just so they don’t have to feel bad about what they did to you.

To finish this off I want to sort of say what I would to my younger self, dealing with what happened.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect you and I’m sorry that you suffered. From the bottom of my heart and everything I am, I am sorry. You deserve better than what happened to you and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I know you put yourself down a lot but you are going to make some amazing things and meet amazing people who love you and care for you. Don’t let this hold you back, you are more than this horrible thing that happened to you so don’t let it consume you. You are loved and capable of so much. Don’t ever stop being your happy silly and imaginative self, I love that side of you and I will not stop loving you. Please take care of yourself.

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 1 year

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I posted 425 times in 2022

73 posts created (17%)

352 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas

@flowersbloomuntiltheyrot

@when-wax-wings-melt

@cant-think-of-anything

@i-think-i-can-speak-here

I tagged 224 of my posts in 2022

Only 47% of my posts had no tags

#ask - 18 posts

#alastair carstairs - 14 posts

#the last hours - 9 posts

#tlh - 9 posts

#self reblog - 6 posts

#thomas lightwood - 6 posts

#aly!! - 5 posts

#thomastair - 5 posts

#anonymous - 5 posts

#toh spoilers - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#this post is thanks to the 2 presentations we did in my 2 person class today &somehow we picked the same exact theme for both presentations

My Top Posts in 2022:

judging by how many wips I have where alastair is gravely injured, you would think I hate him or want him to get hurt. the opposite is true, in fact. I want him to be taken care of. doted on, even. my man needs a break. he does so much and is constantly taken for granted. if this is what it takes for people to realize that he might not always be there, well...

58 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

this is kind of a niche reference but I want a scene for cordelia like that scene in fhsy when adaine went into her sister's memories and saw all of the times that their parents were cruel to adaine and how her sister started to loathe herself for never saying anything. I want cordelia to look back on all of the times that elias treated her as a golden child, all of the times he berated alastair and praised her in the same breath, and feel guilty. I want her to regret never being able to protect him. I want her to feel angry that she was ever in that position in the first place. I want her to be able to accept that she was a child, and alastair was a child, and it's no one's fault except Elias'. I want her to realize that it was never her responsibility to protect Alastair and it was never Alastair's responsibility to protect her, but he did and she didn't and that's a guilt that she'll just need to learn to live with. I want her to realize that it's not too late and she can still repair her relationship with her brother. it might not be living in a bunk bed at the top of a wizard's tower but I need cordelia and alastair to be able to label what happened as abuse and heal from it together.

78 notes - Posted May 20, 2022

sometimes I remember how alastairs sole advice to his sister in her marriage was "being treated badly by someone doesn't make you love them more" ...and yet there are still people who defend ch*rles 😪

86 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

apparently it's now canon that the reason elias' death year is wrong on the family tree is because some bitch named esme hardcastle asked alastair when his father died and he was like "idk he's been dead to me since like 1894" and she said "okay bet"

93 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

the interaction between alastair and charles where charles tells him that barbara died and alastair asks if thomas is okay and charles goes "i thought you hated those fellows" and alastair simply says "no" despite saying to cordelia literally 15 minutes earlier "let's never talk to those terrible people ever again" is the alastair equivalent of lucie complaining that thomas wont let anyone see his tattoo and alastair saying "I'd like to see it" and thomas immediately rolling up his sleeve

309 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I'm once again alastair trash #I haven't been too active this year

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oblivioustoast · 2 years

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since i don't know any of your ocs i want to hear you explain your top three faves :-) (if you can even rank them)

ooh, lemme see. this might be long 😅

1. Aerin Maxwell - Aerin is probably my top fav, ride or die OC. I came up with her in middle school (i’m about to turn 31) (the relentless passage of time makes me 🤪). She was originally a sky pirate in a Firefly-esque world, but without space. Her original plot was a sky captain on the search for her brother who was maybe involved in some secret government project to access alternate timelines? Now she’s the OC i throw into almost every piece of media I wanna engage with.

Since I was a kid, a lot of her characteristics were borrowed from other stuff I liked back then. Her last name and long braid are taken from Duo Maxwell from Gundam Wing. She had/has a cool golden eye implant that was inspired by grown up Enzo from Reboot. (depending what universe she’s in, she has a golden eye under her eyepatch that can project maps, in other worlds it’s just a regular blind eye, sometimes she has both eyes)

She’s also morphed a little more into a pirate-cowboy hybrid over the years (mostly because i was into Brisco County Jr. in college). But her vibes have always been… cool lady with a shotgun 😂 Aerin is pretty much what I always wished I could be, self assured, competent, easily liked by others, good at running around and doing cool action stuff, passionate/compassionate, witty, Tall! Sigh.. she’s so dreamy. Her character colors are red and brown.

2. Adrian Edwards - ok I said Aerin was my ride or die, but i also have so so so much love in my heart for Adrian. He was initially created alongside my wife’s oc Liam Bardsley. Both regency boys - and I don’t remember this at all 😅 but apparently the idea was that Liam was made to reflect Romanticism, while Adrian was made to represent Gothic Literature. which makes sense! but i totally forgot haha

Now Adrian and Liam are part of an rpg podcast we do with our friends called Dandies in Danger! Adrian is a severely depressed poet, with the taste for the macabre and the unfortunate knack for picking up slightly cursed curios. As the eldest son, he’s supposed to take up a position at his family’s newspaper but he doeessnnnttt wwaaannntt ttooooo. This boy is super neurodivergent.

And in the way Aerin encapsulates a lot of traits I would like to have, Adrian is saddled with a bunch of my insecurities - depression, social anxiety, loneliness, too honest at times, self sabotaging. But he feels very deeply and cares a lot, even tho he doesn’t want people to think he does. His character colours are blue, black, silver (sometimes wine red).

3. Exile Redlink - it was hard picking a 3rd actually :0 but i’m gonna go with Exile. Also originally created way back in middle school - based entirely around scrambling my name and substituting some letters. At the time, she didn’t have a lot of substance, just kinda of an edgy goth look. But recently I felt like refurbishing her, while still embracing that middle school edgelord flavour.

So now she’s a teenager (like 15 i think?) cursed with being a demon!! 😱 Her story is set in a sort of fantasy sort of horror sort of sci-fi world. So she lives out in a pretty rural village, when bandits (or are they??) attack. Her mom hides her and when the coast is clear, she comes out to discover everyone has been killed 😱😱 in response to this, she goes to the village temple to fight god 🙂 Said god takes this poorly and curses her.

When I was a kid, I always drew her carrying a scythe - so I repurposed that into a big, evil cursed scythe that she has to carry around. The idea is that it builds up evil energy that she has to regularly disperse by killing stuff - or it’ll build up too much and like… explode. So she decides she’s gonna go around killing other demons. Exile has a lot of attitude and snark (it’s the trauma..) and is generally a rabble rousing little punk. My wife and I have a few characters in the story with her, so she eventually gets friends and a girlfriend. I can’t remember how her curse is supposed to be lifted or if we ever deconstruct the idea of demons and what it means for her to go around killing them instead of humans 😅 but that would be rly interesting to explore. Her characters colours are kind of undecided, but i associate her mostly with black and gold (as a demon she gets bleach blonde hair lol)

#feel like i need to make a note that i grew out of firefly #and truly hate joss whedon lolol #i might reblog this with images we’ll see!#ty for the ask!!

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cupcakereviews · 2 years

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Review: Halloween Ends (2022)

I have been a fan of the Halloween movies for as long as I can remember. Even after how bad Halloween Kill was, I was still pretty excited for this movie. After all, it was the final movie, surely they were going to have some kind of amazing fight, tons of kills, and a lot of screentime for Michael....at least that's what I thought going into this movie.

As you can't assume I was completely wrong. This movie had pretty much none of that. Halloween Kills had pretty no screen time for Laurie so this movie decided to do the same thing, but now to Michael, you know, the character this movie is about. Instead, we focus mainly on a character named Corey Cunningham. He's hated by the town because he accidentally killed a kid.

I guess I should mention this movie takes place 4 years after the last one and Michael had gone into hiding. Anyway, Corey just so happens to be the one that found him, completely by accident of course. Does Michael kill him? Almost, but he looks into his eyes and I guess sees that he's killed someone so he lets him live. The movie never really explains why Michael lets Corey live and it apparently doesn't really care.

The point is, Corey is then built up to be the next Haddonfield killer. He even works alongside Michael to kill two people. The only two people Michael kills in the entire movie I should add. Eventually, Corey decides he needs Michael's mask so he literally just goes and takes it. This new character just walks up to Michael, basically just pushes him over and takes the mask. That simple.

Michael Myers has been built up as this unkillable, unstoppable monster for two movies, three if you count the 1978 movie, and he's made into a literal pushover in this one. Either way, Corey then decides to dress like Michael and go killing people eventually making his way to Laurie where he then kills himself. No fight scene, no nothing. Just gets shot in the shoulder and then decides to stab himself in the throat.

Corey was introduced as if he was important to the story, as if they were going to do something with him, and then didn't. He was literally nobody. He wasn't related to anyone, he wasn't connected to anything. They just tried to make a new Michael, but then killed him making the entire story with him pointless. I genuinely have no idea why he was in the movie when it should have all been Michael.

As a stand-alone movie I think it works, I genuinely do think the story with Corey is pretty good. I do think that the story about a person accidentally killing someone and slowly turning into a killer just because of the constant hate they get was good. But because this is a Halloween movie, and the finale of a trilogy it just doesn't work. This isn't meant to be a movie about Corey, it's meant to be a movie about Michael and we really didn't get to see much of him until about 15-20 minutes until the end of the movie.

#Review #movie #Halloween Ends #David Gordon Green #Danny McBride #John Carpenter #Jamie Lee Curtis #Andi Matichak #James Jude Courtney #Will Patton #Rohan Campbell #Kyle Richards #Miramax #Blumhouse Productions #Universal Pictures #Michael Myers #Laurie Strode #6/10

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terras-diary · 4 months

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game review - star ocean the second story r

context: i played the original ps version back in highschool. i found it fun enough but i couldn't actually beat it, my brother had to do it. there were definitely areas that were a slog. and honestly i don't remember the finer details of the story, but i remember the general plotline.

i took the same party that i did in my original playthrough: rena, claude, celine, ashton, bowman, noel, chisato

story: it's actually a lot sillier than i remember. it's also pretty corny and it takes a while to get to the 'real' plot of the game. i didn't mind that, but i was really surprised at how much i had forgotten. and it's sci-fi near the end but you really do spend a lot of your time being a normal person on expel. energy nede really comes at you quick.

characters: for a playstation game, the characters are very memorable. in today's time, they are pretty one dimensional, or maybe just simple is a better way of putting it. but still enjoyable.

but claude was like such a dickhead in a way that i do not remember. it made me laugh actually. like you were not like that before.

also a lot of the dialogue near the end of the game was an npc explaining something then either rena or claude just repeating what the npc just said. it became kind of apparent near the end. and kind of annoying.

the villains - even if you do the extra real ending - are kind of a cop out i think. the wise men were just there to be evil. gabriel/indalecio i think is a good enough villain but in modern times it becomes evident that the others are just kind of there.

battling: every issue i had with the original battle mechanics and level progression has more or less been solved with this remaster. the ability to put spells on the back triggers, other characters in the reserves gain exp, separating the bp and sp, being able to summon your back members for an attack, different formations giving boosts, the ability to fast travel, the ability to see where p.a. and other non-story events took place, and the friendship meter is visible!!!! that was a mouthful but geez it made the game such a breeze. and it was still fun considering all the changes which you might think would make it less challenging.

other odds and ends: you know tri-ace didn't actually do this remake. it was a company called gemdrops. who the fuck is gemdrops? i honestly just bought this game because of the branding, i was fully expecting this to be trash. i could not have been more wrong, it's awesome. so who is gemdrops? the guy who founded the studio was the battle programmer at tri-ace for valkyrie profile and star ocean. suddenly it all makes sense. the people who made all those good games, they left the company. i always knew tri-ace wasn't what it used to be, but this really cements it. all the greats left. it's that simple. tri-ace may own those ips, but they are nothing without the employees who made them great.

the voice acting - which i learned for the english dub was just the psp voices from like 2006 reused - were really good. i was even more impressed to learn it wasn't a dub made today but rather 15 years ago. i wish they leaned into the more iconic, corny lines from the original dub. (burn!! oh it's hot!! and 10 seconds.... are sorely missed)

the difficulty settings. in the original, earth was the normal difficulty but on this version that was the easy version. well i played on earth because i thought they were going to pull a sneaky or something but not really. i wonder why they bothered to rename the difficulty settings, instead of just making a new name for the easy difficulty. because there was galaxy and universe - both difficult, so is there only one difficult now? dunno.

conclusion: this is the ideal way to play star ocean 2. i don't think i will ever start another playthrough using my playstation copy ever again. that is what makes a good remake - the original version is now obsolete in all ways. pretty much every issue was fixed because the people who worked on this game actually worked on the original version of it. they knew this game in and out to be able to fix all the issues with it. you could tell this was a labor of love and not something that just needed to be done and pushed out. star ocean is good again.

#game review

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nolantalks · 6 months

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So gotten a quite a few asks from accounts. Most of you were nice or just mature so I'll take the time to answer your asks without with publishing your blog names but publicly not privately. As for those obvious burner accounts that were vile, go touch grass.

Do you remember the groups you've been on?

Yes and no. I remember the groups that lasted more than a few weeks and the ones I was on for more than a few days. After Raven's now deleted callout there were a series of them I was on for anywhere between a few hours to a couple of days that I don't remember the names to at all. So I'll start that trail where I can.

Delta Prime

Now digging into this last night I noticed I was actually wrong about when I joined Tumblr all these years ago. I thought it was early 2014 (like January of that year) But now I know the exact date was December 15, 2013. I know this as looking into the first group (it was called Delta Prime) deleted the main a long time ago. However, I know character accounts still existed. Going through them I remember the face claim of the first account I ever got a reply from mostly because I had a thing for Matt Lanter for a few years around this time. So here it is the first ever post I made and the first ever reply. Can't view it from my blog's end since it was one of the few I revamped for my Griffin O'Callahan character. Because it only says '9 years ago' I went through the archive to find it and make it easier for you all to see its the same post and then see the date itself.

Anyway, there was in-character drama here but nothing out of it at least from me. The main mysteriously disappeared in mid-February and when I contacted everyone I regularly spoke to they told me that the admin was getting harassed by some of the members who complained aggressively to the admin every time they did an event and people didn't like how often they were or their character didn't have an immediate reason to care about it etc etc.

Randoms

After that, it was a series of Teen Wolf roleplays that were pretty great and fun. Don't have any screenshots of this as I can't even remember the account just that I used Charlie Carver and his character from the show and had a ship with a Jensen Ackles character. I say its a series of groups as it was the same group made by the same admin who was just moving it to a new blog. She did this because apparently, and I didn't learn this til years later when I learned there were tags and blogs for rpc topics like 'rpt' and such. She was known for being insanely toxic and obsessed with the character Derek Hale. They kept getting found and she would reopen and close them til she ultimately stopped.

After that, it was two RPs I can't quite remember the names of. I just remember one has something to do with a giant red tree called 'The Blood Tree' I was there for a couple of weeks before just bouncing out of boredom. I heard it reopened years later then shut down for drama and some members made a continuation group without the admin's permission I would join when it popped up. Then the other I think was called Wolves of War or War of Wolves. I used a Stephen Amell face claim and left when someone using the actress who played Felicity joined specifically to ship with whoever was using Stephen and went mad when they saw I was already in a ship.

A Legend Reborn

After this came the first pain in the ass also known as A Legend Reborn. Now, I admit this place impressed me with how in-depth its lore was. Some liberties were clearly taken when it came to staff's characters regarding the powers but their roleplay, their choice to make their characters specifically OP. I joined taking this skeleton character and talking to both staff and all those connected to him in the bio. It was my understanding through those talks that Julian was just some former druggie playboy who was the pretty face poster boy for the Original who would be the one that taught him how to use his ability of Memory. Think photographic memory with the ability to invade and perfectly recall the memories of others. He was to slowly start being a spy for the rebel organization using his charisma and memory ability to make connections and learn skills needed to be a good spy. The players of Zach and Rachel Teer also were interested in making Julian a close friend to both of them. Close almost besties with Zach and close in a different manner with Rachel which in the game, as we posted, moved to being close romantically. Julian's Original mentor was not in play so I was told just to pretend she was 'around' and just try to avoid bringing her up so anyone who took her wouldn't feel forced into going along with something, not in the bio. She was one of the Originals that had 'all the abilities' but they were at omega or 'just learning them' levels while Julian was at Alpha or 'the highest level' with his single power and technically would have been more powerful in a sense.

Everything was fine the first few weeks here. I had plots, a lot of threads, and was talking to quite a few people on Skype. Can't remember if it has an OOC space but I know I had like six players' contacts on Skype at the time. The first event hit and I didn't know in a three-way thread you only got the activity alert for the person who reblogged you not the one who reblogged them and you had to know when that person posted. So the group I was in basically went nowhere and I was screamed out for not posting in it. Then a few weeks later came my single drama on here. Zach Teer who again was supposed to be the BBF of Julian according to the pre-accepted plotting we did and the staff approved of; had a player that was given special treatment. Now I was never told directly why, I just got various stories. Admin Mary said that she lived in the Middle East and 'I know what that place is like' so we're lucky she has internet at all. The admin I normally spoke with said she was a student in NYC and sometimes focused on classes and Mary allowed her to pass all activity checks so long as she posted anything even if it was just a reblog of a photoset. Rachel's player told me they were friends with Mary and just allowed to be active for a day or two to pass every activity check and she was used to not posting her character with her brother for at least a month before the player decided to post again. I heard her activity got a lot better like seven months after I was long gone.

Anyways, as stated numerous times before. She wasn't posting in our thread which was one where Julian was supposed to take some skill knowledge from him. Sent three messages each 7 to 8 days apart asking if she was going to post, and she said yes and she was sorry, I said forget in the last one and that I wouldn't be posting with her anymore til I trusted the activity would go up. Within hours I was kicked out for sending three messages so far apart and being obsessed with the face claim trying to get my character with her's and not playing mine right. This is funny since he was all but in a relationship with the sister. It also explained why the character that was with Zach was hostile to Julian and why the player would respond to me in DMs passive-aggressively. They revamped Julian using everything I was doing as the character to make him a former pretty boy turned spy. Other than the starting 'thing' with Rachel, they basically made him exactly how I left him off but changed his original mentor.

War of the New Age

Once I was 'invited to leave' there, I did indie RPing with some of the people I had plots with there until they were threatened for doing it. I quickly found WOTNA, mostly do regret it, but also kind of don't since I got one of my best online buds from there. This one is even more epically long so I'll try to keep it short.

Basically, I met a guy I'll call G, don't need to hide his name he has no plans to ever return to roleplaying on tumblr but happy with indie Discord RPing. But I respect the guy and if he ever changes his mind I don't want him hounded like others are who don't have anything awful to post about me. He had a character that was extremely similar to a canon I made on Sequence back on Jcink. He admits to knowing of the character and he did forum RPs before. He then later adds this to the story. We thread and plot together and everything is great for a few weeks. Eventually, G begins to complain to the main admin about something but never tells me til years later. What was this thing? Well, I moved my character too much in a post. Literally, in the post that triggered this, his character knocks on the door to my character's home. I have my character answer the door, greet his character, and then move to sit back down and continue eating his breakfast. G felt I was 'power playing in a way' as even though I moved my character and my character alone, he felt he had to react to everything my character did and move the thread along based on my direction. So Admin M takes this to her staff and a handful of people in their friend group and tells them that G says I'm forcing him into things. G admits this never was said. On my end all G asks me is if I can edit a post here and there, he doesn't say why just if I can. I'm happy to but it gets annoying on the fourth time and not being told why so I can avoid it. This only gets G more and more mad that it keeps happening and he keeps feeling a loss of control, complaining to admin M and going from asking to demanding.

Now bare in mind that at this time G and I are both talking and posting regularly. When we're both online we're chatting and posting almost nonstop. We're pretty close as friends outside of the group even exchange pictures here and there. And in the group, we're both able to post 200-400 word replies to each other within like 4 to 5 minutes. When one of us is posting, the other is typing their replies to others but we are flooding the dash and even discover that there is a limit to how many posts you can make in one hour as we both hit it a few times. We both love this. At this time there was also another drama G apparently was in but that source is questionable at best. Admin M was also taking every time that G complained to their clique and twisting what G told her riling them up. Even G knew of the clique. Another person decides to insert themselves as a way of 'helping' G and suddenly she and I are both getting really hateful anon messages. I tell the admins but they ignore me, she tells them and claims she believes them to be from me. So members start being openly hostile, the admin team is hostile and even G is being hostile to me and I'm getting told I'm hated, worthless, suck at writing, no one likes me, I'm stupid etc etc. I grew up with a father who was very abusive, verbally, physically, emotionally, and mentally. As well as a mother who enabled it as she was raised to believe the man of the house was the be-all and end-all. With this treatment, my past, and my own mental health issues, I eventually left the group willingly and it was the first time I made an attempt on my own life.

None of this is even touching on the person who I mistakenly made a co-admin of Sequence who admitted to being the one sending the anon hate to everything. Had to say whatever I could get keep that confession going. Or the drama of a stolen character that place pulled on a former clique member. And for good measure I'll include a few of me talking to Admin M after some time of having aired things out. Now these are out of order and the conversation had multiple topic shifts. They were on a flash drive that got damaged during a move so only recovered a few and I put them in order via the time stamps. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Randoms

After that I joined Mount Prospect for a couple of weeks max before it closed down the second of like four times. No drama when I was on it but the admin did steal my characters after I asked they be deleted. Did go back to it before its last shutdown and played the second character I had made there since someone else had my Griffin and became friends with that player, think Jo forgot all about that though haha. Then I had Sequence for almost six months but really is was more like four. The last two it was open my friend was actually playing all my characters as I recovered from my second RPC-triggered S attempt. After that, it was like 20 or 30 groups I joined for like a day before someone ran that call-out post to the admins and I was kicked out either because they believed it or because they didn't or didn't care but were getting harassing anons about me so I had to go. A few stand out though from that time as I had been there a while. Project Guardian, Project Gaia, and Badlands were all ability RPs I was on til they closed. Crystal Cove, I was there maybe a month before its main dead. SALUTEM, for a few weeks, nice people, still talk to a couple of the gals I met there it was just boring after a few weeks. lykos which was a questionable choice I admit. Cursed Blood, that place was toxic, Mutates, oh and Astoria loved that place but ship drama where I didn't want to do a poly relationship. and with good ol' G I were on Lynx and academy abilities RP but he left it after they allowed uber strong powers. There was a second one but can't remember what it was called for the life of me. Oh and I was on Colony 22 for a long time.

Honorable mentions that I'm sure I'll be accused of not mentioning. Empire which I was on for like 4 days. Had a few plots then got messaged by a staff member that apparently was supposed to kick me out but they didn't. They spoke to me about the situation with Raven and apologized for how it affected me. But they did tell me the other staff members wanted me gone as one was friends with Raven so I thanked the admin and told them I would luckily by suing Raven soon then left after telling my plot partners bye. I guess the other admins spread that I threatened to sue them? I dunno. I did have my lawyer draw up a subpoena on Raven's blog but within hours they had put out a post asking everyone to stop posting, commenting, mentioning, and caring about our drama. Then either deleted or private their call-out posts and it kind of sunk the case unless I wanted to go after them for emotional damage and defamation which are much harder than just showing they were a liar. Hollow Grove. A disgustingly toxic group. I already have my Google doc out there showing all the DMs I got of staff telling me one thing, making stuff up, making drama with other members and being shut down. To this day I still hear how people either really liked it there or hated it and were traumatized by the staff. Then Corinth Bay where there was no actual drama other than staff not having clear lore, deciding to change bits of lore mid-game and claiming I was 'writing my own' as if you didn't know my character was conjuring fire as a witch since DAY ONE and only brought it up and added it to the lore witches couldn't conjure their element shortly before kicking me out for 'activity'. The two who ranted about me after that were later revealed to be psychopathic stalkers and their friends blocked them.

Since then it was just small groups and my own two groups. Its been pretty fun and peaceful thankfully.

#rpt

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lisacatara-actress · 1 year

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Almost Lisa: Pt 15, “Almost peed myself”

*I retain all rights to my photography and story, story details, biographical information, fashion designs, art work, and anything and everything I have posted which is my own creation*)

If the goal is the finish line, the miles don't matter.

Here's a happy story for those still hanging on for one this Blog:

When I'd first embarked on my cross-country endeavor into Hollywood, after living in NY, my goal was to land one of the industries most coveted daytime soaps. Like millions, I’d watched General Hospital as a kid and throughout my youth. I became familiar with and invested in the series regulars characters and enjoyed popping in from time to time to see where the story had taken them from it’s residency in upstate New York.

At one point in time, the story literally took some of the cast to Rochester, New York, where I was in attendance at The Eastman School of Music. Two people at the conservatory were excited by this: myself and our head of costuming, a gorgeous soul named Alice Volonino. Apparently we shared the dream of working on the show. And Alice actually did it! After approaching production, she wound up leaving Eastman to become a full time costumer for General Hospital, relocating to Hollywood, California. And life went on...

Flash to... I’d just landed in Atlanta, Georgia after relocating from my home of 19 years in Los Angeles when I got a very welcome phone call from an established stunt coordinator who worked on General Hospital, asking me to put an audition on tape for their legendary casting director. The irony of finally getting “The Call” in such a way, long after the start of my career, after I’d already moved, was laughable. Of course I did the audition and sent the tape off. AND I booked it, and hopped on a plane back to Los Angeles. By some random coincidence or fated planetary alignment, one of my friends happened to be selling her home in Burbank. The house was empty and she allowed me to stay while I worked in town. On top of this, I was able to use travel points to fly for free. Everything just seemed to line up, perfectly, to make things happen for me.

On set, the atmosphere was relaxed, professional, and enjoyable. My scenes/episodes were with none other than the Genie Francis (aka Laura, a total OG!!) and the incredible Michael E. Knight. Both talented and gracious humans. As we filmed, I felt right at Home. Finally. It had been years since I was bestowed with an actual character and dialogue, with the freedom to do what I do. And I owe that opportunity to Stunt Coordinator/ 2nd Unit Director Tim Davison, who recognized my theatrical background, and kept me in mind (for years) to find the right moment to include me.

But wait, there's more awesome...

At some point during filming, Tim remembered I’d graduated from Eastman and mentioned that “Alice, the costumer” was also from Rochester. “No way, I’ll have to say hello!” At wrap that day, I stopped in downstairs to ask whereabout I might find Alice. From the back of the room comes “That’s me”, and out walks a face that is familiar, though I cant place it. I say hello, explaining I had heard she was from Rochester, that I’d lived there a long while. Alice eyeballs me, curiously, stating “Wait. You look familiar”. Awkward anticipation. As she approached me, she adds “What school?”. “Eastman”, I say. Without a pause, she states: “I worked at Eastman”. By now we are a couple steps from one another and the rest of the department crew is silent, watching our exchange. I tell Alice that I had a different last name then, Tarantino. Her eyes opened wide, and in the same moment, we both realize that we know each other!

Now I’ve given some great hugs in my life, but the one between me and Alice Volonino from Eastman was unbelievably validating, welcome, and just dang wonderful! Look at us now! Both “making it” in Hollywood, living our dreams! I honestly felt Divine guidance had brought me here, to this place, at this moment. A sign that things are gonna be A-Okay. It reinstated hope within me for my acting career after so many losses, near misses, and sacrifices.

Needless to say, the rest of our shoot passed far too quickly. I received incredible support from the cast and crew while on set. But two particular, unexpected comments left me feeling “seen”. The first was from casting director Mark Teschner (who dialed in from home, where he'd been watching dailies) complimenting me / my work (*amen). The second was at wrap, when the producer told me I should “really think of pursuing (acting)”, I was apparently “good at it”. LOL, I wanted to scream I AM AN ACTOR! to let him know I'd been trying to claw, kick, and scream my way back into acting since the 2007 writers strike. Instead, I thanked him, grateful for the feedback, with the tiniest hope that I might be back (he did say “we have to have you back”). Alas, a year and a half later, that hasn't manifested, yet. They may have learned that I'd moved from CA. Dammit, this curse of ALMOST!

I can honestly say, after a nearly two years here in Georgia, I would return to Hollywood in a heartbeat for the right opportunity. But it would take a miracle to make that affordable now. I miss the food, the weather, and my medical team (in my brief but torturous experience, Atlanta has absolutely horrid medical care). I especially miss walking through the gates of the most iconic studios in the movie business. THAT is where I want to be. THAT is Home. THAT is where I belong.

For now, I must remain in the South and weather the storm of another pending (seemingly inevitable) Writers Strike and lingering lack of work as The BIZ continues to evolve and grow. Who knows how it will effect all of us journeymen. It never seems to be for the better. We just want to get back to work and begin recuperating loses of income due to pandemic shutdowns and studio mergers.

Anybody hiring?

(To be continued...)

*PS If you like what you're reading, I welcome contributions to the efforts via Venmo @LTarantinoDesigns)

#lisa catara #actress #entertainment #blog #writing #hollywood #movies #soap opera #acting #casting #life story

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