#it’s amazing how my brain just. can’t fantasize about anyone actually loving me

[pussy-ache]

the concept/thought of love makes me incredibly sad, suicidal sad. i don’t even want to be looked at

#i don’t listen to love songs and i don’t watch love movies #i don’t fantasize about love or being in love #love makes me sad #personally i don’t think it’s in the cards for me #i try not to think about it and i stay away from things that remind me of it #i try to work through it when i can. a lot of the posts i read on here help but not that much #i have a whole tag dedicated to deconstructing it specifically for this reason #i think if i don’t try to figure it out soon i’ll just alienate everyone in my life #it’s amazing how my brain just. can’t fantasize about anyone actually loving me #my brain tries and every time i barely get a minute into any fantasy before my brain completely shuts it down #even fantasy me cannot conceptualize truly being loved — even fantasy me can’t enjoy it #i’m actually not able to fantasize about anyone. period. i cannot fantasize about another person touching me #like my brain just invents ways to be mean to me lmao. if i fantasize about climbing on someones lap my brain will make them push me off #when i masturbate i don’t think of anyone. or anything. #i think i was in high school the last time i truly actually fantasized about anything or anyone #it’s amazing to me that my brain can’t conceptualize any situation in which any aspect of me is wanted at all #sexually or platonically

[waitineedaname]

6 for some roommates??

6. Accidentally ending a phone call with your roommate with a casual ‘I love you’ seems like a very good reason to move out.

“I’m so sorry I can’t make it! It’s just- The flight got delayed, and now I’m going to miss my connecting flight, so I’m stuck in Chicago overnight, which means there’s no way I’ll be there in time, and-”

“Tommy!” Darnold could hear Tommy’s anxiety building through the phone and tried to cut it off before he could work himself up further. “It’s okay, really! It’s just a conference, nothin’ special.”

“Yeah, but-” Tommy’s voice took on a whine, “You’re presenting.”

“Anything I say at this presentation is guaranteed to be something you’ve heard before.” Darnold couldn’t help but smile fondly. “You let me infodump about this experiment to you every evening for the past several months, I’m surprised you wanted to come to the conference at all.”

Tommy’s huff was barely audible through Darnold’s phone speakers, but it was clear he was no longer on the brink of tears. “It’s not every day I get the chance to see my roommate present his- present the world’s first evil flavored drink!”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that.” Darnold covered his mouth, as if there was anyone in the hotel lobby who cared enough to listen. “Don’t tell anyone, Dr. Coolatta, but this is only the first in a long line of flavors I have planned!” Tommy obligingly let out a loud, fake gasp on the other end, as if he hadn’t been involved in the planning process from the beginning. “I know, it’s shocking. I understand if you want to sit down. But yeah, this sure as hell won’t be the last time I’ll be presenting, I’ll tell you that. Maybe next time, you’ll even be presenting alongside me!”

“I’d like that,” Tommy said with a slight laugh. “Alright. But! I’ll- I’ll be cheering you on the whole time! Just… from the plane! And, um, I’ll take you out for celebratory drinks when I get there.”

“You don’t gotta do that,” Darnold said, Southern politeness keeping him from taking the offer without protest.

“I’m going to,” Tommy’s retort came immediately, more than used to that polite instinct. “Okay, I- The plane seems to be boarding? So, I gotta- I should probably get going. Good luck, Darnold! See you soon!”

“Safe flight, Tommy. Love you, bye.” Darnold tapped the end call button, then stared at his reflection in his phone screen. Did… Did he just say that?

Okay. Calm down Dr. Pepper, he thought to himself. Think this through rationally. Freudian slips were something everyone did. It’s only logical that the level of intimacy and domesticity created by living with someone who was probably his best friend would result in some crossed wires, resulting in him accidentally saying “I love you.” No reason to think about it too much.

But… he couldn’t help but think about it too much. Because that wasn’t the whole story. The thing was, Tommy was a handsome guy. No shame in admitting that. He also understood Darnold in a way very few others had. Both of them being neurodivergent ace-spec scientists in their mid-thirties meant they got each other a lot better than most. Not only that, but also Tommy was just… a great person. He made Darnold laugh on a regular basis, and he was more kind and compassionate than Darnold thought possible, though that didn’t mean he couldn’t be sarcastic and snappish when he wanted to be. Darnold appreciated that complexity in him. Darnold appreciated a lot of things about Tommy, if he was being honest. He’d been avoiding thinking about it, but once he started, he couldn’t stop. There was no denying it at this point: over the course of their friendship and cohabitation, Darnold had been slowly but steadily falling deeply in love with Tommy Coolatta.

For Christ’s sake, he could not be dealing with this right now. Not when he would be presenting one of the biggest accomplishments of his career in an hour. He would just have to shove the past minute into a box in the corner of his brain and unpack it later.

Yeah, that didn’t work. His thoughts were buzzing the whole time he walked around the conference until his presentation, and he was jittery with nerves for a reason wholly unrelated to stage fright. It was a marvel he made it to the presentation at all. He avoided his phone like it was cursed, unable to bring himself to check and see if Tommy had texted him at all. For a single, unhinged second he fantasized about moving across the country, changing his name, and starting anew so he wouldn’t have to deal with his feelings, but he spent the next second internally smacking himself for that idea. No need for melodramatics.

His hands shook the whole time he presented his evil flavor, though he was proud to say his voice remained steady. It was a little easier to avoid thinking about anything else when he was presenting something he was so proud of. The audience was suitably impressed by his work, and every bout of dignified applause felt like the most raucous of cheers to Darnold. He couldn’t stop the smile on his face as he stepped off the presentation stage to allow them to set up for the next presenter. He was shaking hands with one of the scientists from the audience who was congratulating him on his work when he glanced to the back of the room and spotted Tommy.

Tommy, somehow immediately knowing Darnold had seen him, waved and grinned. Darnold bit back a laugh at how much he towered over everyone else around him. He excused himself and rushed to the back of the room.

“Tommy!” Darnold exclaimed. “I thought you weren’t gonna get in till tomorrow afternoon at the latest?”

“I, uh, I got in contact with my dad! He gave me a hand,” Tommy responded evasively. Knowing Tommy’s father, that could either mean he hired a private jet for him or he literally teleported him across the country. Darnold couldn’t bring himself to care about the details right now. “I’m glad I could catch your presentation! You did- You were amazing.”

“Well, gosh, it ain’t anything,” Darnold said, as if he wasn’t preening under the praise.

“Can I still take you out for those drinks?” Tommy asked, reaching for Darnold’s hand. Darnold’s heart warmed as he squeezed Tommy’s hand. Tommy wasn’t big on physical affection unless he initiated it, so Darnold cherished it whenever it happened.

“If you insist,” Darnold teased lightly.

“I do! And, uh, also…” Tommy trailed off, rubbing his thumb over Darnold’s hand, “I… was thinking about making it a date? If you like?”

Darnold’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? Like, an actual date?”

“Yeah! Is- Would that be okay?” Something vulnerable flickered through Tommy’s eyes, and Darnold was quick to brush it away.

“That would be more than okay.”

Tommy had this way of literally lighting up the room when he got happy, and this was no exception. Darnold pitied any of the scientists around them that weren’t used to it. “Great!” He said, already tugging Darnold towards the hall.

As they exchanged potion ideas over cocktails that evening, Darnold found himself feeling the happiest he’d been in a long time. Maybe an accidental love confession over the phone wasn’t that bad.

#hlvrai #sodashipping #darnold #tommy coolatta #my writing #okay to reblog #I did this two bc I did gordon and benny with the same request so I thought I'd do someone different! #I've never written from darnold's perspective before so I hope it works! #these two are v cute. underrated ship.

[recurring-polynya]

i’m gonna try out my luck for the renji bday thing😭

- renji being a mediator between rukia and ichika(idk why i feel like rukia and ichika would get into rly dumb arguments and just fight like they’re the same age)

- renji and ichika get a tattoo

- jealous rukia(of course)

- anything that takes place in inuzuri, i loved your ‘dumb teens stealing kisses’ snippet so much 😭

- more of the tattoo artist renji falls for a client AU

I hope you’ll forgive me for cheating a bit, but when I saw this, I said, “what if I just gave you more of the dumb teens stealing kisses” fic? because honestly, it’s just sitting here.

For people who don’t obsessively follow my incoherent ramblings about my own WIPs, this is an excerpt for i can’t believe i found you in that town, a story that takes place during Renji and Rukia’s last year in Inuzuri. Two out of their three friends have passed away, their powers are growing steadily stronger, and they are starting to face the fact that they aren’t children anymore. I have two more parts of Heart is a Muscle to get through first, so I never work on it, but it is very close to my heart.

PS: This is not going on ao3 at this time, because I really do intend to finish it eventually, so consider this a Tumblr exclusive.

❄    ❄     ❄

In a strange confluence, all three of them have found gainful employment at the same time.

Renji is guarding crates. He does not ask what is in the crates. He does not want to know what is in the crates. He stands next to the crates and his size deters most people. Occasionally, he is called upon to punch someone in the face. It’s good work.

Fujimaru got him this gig, actually. Mameji was good with numbers and he taught Fujimaru a lot, and now Fujimaru has a gig keeping the books for the guys who own the crates. That seems like pretty good work to Renji, too. Fujimaru says he wishes it involved more punching people. Renji wishes his job involved punching fewer people. Everyone’s got complaints.

Rukia has found work in a shop. This is charming and hilarious to both boys. It’s a pawn shop that paradoxically seems to buy about three times as much junk as it sells. It’s obvious that the only reason the owner hired Rukia is because the clientele likes to come in and look at her, but the fact is, she’s an amazing bargainer, and she’s making him a ton of change.

Renji stops in one late afternoon when his own shift is over, and watches her sell a man a knife that looks like it will break if he looks at it funny. She offers to throw in a shitty ball of twine and the man agrees to pay what is easily four times what the knife is worth, and leaves smiling. Amazing.

The shop owner eyes Renji warily. Renji never starts trouble, and he’s even stopped it once or twice, but at the same time, his presence is cramping the appeal of the pretty shopgirl.

“I’m off,” Rukia tells her boss.

“See y’tomorrow,” the seedy man grumbles.

“You don’t get paid every day?” Renji asks Rukia loudly. “I get paid at the end of every shift.”

“She gets paid at the end of the week,” the shopkeeper grouses.

Renji flexes one arm experimentally, admiring his own bicep. “It’s nice getting paid every day. Makes you want to come back the next day, y’know.”

“She comes back every day so she can get paid at the end of the week.”

Rukia’s eyes dart between them.

“Ah, you must be a great boss, very trustworthy,” Renji comments, stretching his back. “Although gettin’ paid every day is a nice way to show trust, too. Hey, Ru, you wanna stop at Takahashi’s on the way home? I heard they got in some dried mackerel and I,” he winks at Rukia’s boss, “got paid today.”

“Pfft,” Rukia huffs, wrapping her shawl around her shoulders. “I’m sure it’s a scam. We need rice, though, and more water.”

“Hey, girl,” Rukia’s boss spits out. “You had a good shift! Here’s your pay for today, as a reward for doing so well. Come back tomorrow, okay?”

“Of course,” Rukia agrees, taking the coins with a sly smile.

As they head out of town, she jabs him in the ribs with her elbows. “You’re so obvious.”

“Got you paid, didn’t I?”

“You did, thank you. He hates you, you know.”

Renji sighs dramatically. “How can I live with myself?”

Rukia snorts. “He’s gross, I hate him. I hate that whole job. Smiling at people. Acting kind to horrible people. It’s so fake. I don’t know why you like working so much, I’d rather just steal.”

“I’ve seen you working, what you do is not much different from stealing.” Renji rubs his hands together. It’s getting cold, especially with the sun setting. “I appreciate the effort, though. I mean, we do. Me and Fujimaru. I like this. Having money, that is. It’s nice.”

Rukia regards him out of the corner of her eye.

“Do you? Do you appreciate it?”

Renji frowns. “Yeah, of course I do. I know you don’t like it.”

Rukia stops walking and turns to him. “C’mere.” She gestures toward herself and makes the pointing motion she does when she wants him to bend down to her level. Even though this results in a cuff to the back of his head more often than not, Renji obeys. “If you really appreciate it, I think you should do something nice for me.”

Renji should know by now to be wary of such an ominous statement, but he falls for it anyway. “Sure. Name it.”

“I want to kiss you again.”

Renji tugs at his ponytail. “Again? Really?”

It was probably six years between the first and second time she had wanted to kiss him, but the second time had only been a few months ago, last spring, after he broke his arm saving her from a large, angry man she had attempted to pickpocket.

“You said you were open to the idea,” Rukia scowled.

“I...did,” Renji stammered. To be fair, he had been in immense pain at the time and probably would have agreed to just about anything. He could have used that as an excuse. It seemed like Rukia was thinking the same, he could tell she was already getting herself wound up to be hurt at his rejection. That stung a little, the idea that she expected so little of him. “No problem. Anything for you. Go for it.” He bent his knees a little deeper and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for impact.

“You gotta relax a little, man, it’s not a punch in the nards,” Rukia scolded, grabbing ahold of his ears and laying one on him.

Renji didn’t fantasize about kissing girls. He liked girls well enough, but he liked guys more. There was one exception to that rule, and that was Rukia. He liked her more than anyone. It wasn’t right to fantasize about Rukia, though, in his opinion, because he lived with her and it wasn’t respectful and also… also, if he spent too much time thinking about things like kissing her, he might want to do it. So, he avoided the slippery slope of girls in general, and restricted his spicy kissing fantasies to the lean, knife-eyed Rukongai punks that hung out on street corners and had really sexy ways of saying “heeeeeey.” Renji was perpetually working on his “heeeeeeys.”

But Rukia was kissing him now, and it seemed equally disrespectful to pretend she wasn’t. Her lips were soft against his, and curious. Her fingers relaxed their painful grip on his ears and snuck around to rest on the back of his neck. She must have been keeping her hands in her sleeves, because they were warm, and they felt so good and this was good, this was so, so good and it occurred to Renji that maybe he was meant to kiss her back, she had never mentioned anything about--

“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it, Abarai?” Rukia was saying.

It was over.

Renji blew air out his cheeks. “Naw, it was fine. Ah, did you, uh… was it everything you hoped and dreamed?”

“It was okay,” she shrugged, but her eyes twinkled. She started walking again and Renji had to do a little skip and a jump to catch up. “Fujimaru’s probably home already. How come he didn’t come with you to pick me up?”

“Oh, there were extra crates today, so he’s working late. But we can have the rice ready and surprise him!”

“Mm, yes, that sounds nice,” Rukia agreed. She hummed a little as she walked. “Hey, Renji?”

“Yeah?”

“Back at the shop-- did you call me Ru? What was that?”

Renji made a face. “I dunno. I thought it was cute.” You’re cute, his brain added, and suddenly, he couldn’t unsee it. She was unbearably cute, wrapped up in her shawl, that little piece of hair hanging between her eyes, those beautiful eyes. “If you don’t like it, I’ll--”

“You’ve known me for nine years and you decide, just now, to give me a nickname?”

He shrugged. “Things can change, right? Even out here in the ass end of Rukongai?”

She regarded him for a moment. “It is cute. I will allow it, but only from you, and don’t do it around gross people like my greasy boss.”

“Yeah, no prob,” he agreed, squeezing his hands under his armpits. He had a bad feeling that they were in for a brutal winter this year.

“Hey!” Rukia said, and he realized she was holding out his hand to him. Gingerly, he took it, hoping she wouldn’t mind his own cold fingers. She didn’t seem to.

#renji's birthday 2k21 #my writing #i was strongly tempted to do another chapter of the tattoo artist au on top of this #except that the next chapter doesn't even have renji in it #it has rukia and orihime TALKING ABOUT renji if that counts for anything #and then i ran out of time #i know i have posted an excerpt of this excerpt before i am sorry i just love it TOO MUCH

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

hey!congratulations on 50!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ SO! if possible - can i get a request for Aone? I don't know if people even really write for him but i love him so much (◕‿◕✿) (it's okay if you don't wanna write for him! I know some ppl don't like him). Maybe with that soulmate prompt where there's a telepathic link but like Aone doesn't really speak much cause he's pretty quiet in general and reader is worried that he just hates her already? thank you!! Maybe angst with happy ending !♥‿♥ thxxxxxxxx

Ahhh, thank you so much you angel anon. This one was hard (even though I mostly write angst) But! I also viciously love Aone, so I would be happy to write more because my heart will explode. I hope this does what you wanted justice

----

There was a different kind of pain you feel when you know you have a soulmate and they just seem to disappear. It wasn’t like he didn’t exist, you knew that he at least did exist. Whether that was still the case had you worried. You didn’t know his name, or where he was right now in the world, so it’s nice to be hopeful that he could be there.

Of course, there was always the worry that he hated you - your parents had always told you that you never shut up. Maybe that upset him. Maybe he didn’t like girls who were chatterboxes. You’d heard the rumors that some soulmates just decide to choose someone else, and maybe he’d just chosen to do that.

You couldn’t help but feel jealous when your friends would brag about the nice things their soulmates would say; so you did what anyone would do, and you lied. You told them how he’d say your voice was beautiful (even though he didn’t) and that he’d talk with you for hours (again, he didn’t). Because it was easier to fantasize about the what-if’s rather than focus on your grim reality.

Your soulmate hated you, and that was okay.

Nobody needed to know the amount of times you’d cried yourself to sleep, or the anxious thoughts that wracked your brain for so long and so harshly you were worried he might hear them. They didn’t need to know the way you’d wish for someone else, someone that would love you.

Not even your parents know. How would you even tell them? They’d be devastated. And how do you even go about finding someone to replace your perfect half? You don’t, you could never. It felt like such a betrayal.

You still managed to make friends, put on a brave face and pretend you were okay. In fact, your closest friend is a boy called Aone Takanobu, he doesn’t speak very often - when he does, it’s barely one word answers - but you could talk for hours and he would listen with the smallest smile on his lips.

“Does your soulmate talk a lot?” You asked him one day, more so just curious than anything. He grunted, nodding and you sighed before sending him a big smile, “so does mine! Honestly, sometimes he just can’t stop, but he says the sweetest things.” The words feel wrong coming out of your mouth and you know it; something in his eyes changes, but he turns his head away before you can look deeper into it.

That night you’re hit with another wave of emotional pain; it’s your parents anniversary, and all they can do is talk on and on about how amazing it is to be so close to someone. You bite back your tears and smile at them. A storm outside brews. How the universe has the perfect way of matching your mood, you’ll never know.

You curl up under the cover and don’t fight the tears, because what’s the point?

Are you there? You call out to him, desperate. Maybe he could hear how badly you needed him. Are you alive? Nothing. This isn't fair. Where did you go? What happened? It hurts. Does he not know how badly it hurts? You were supposed to be mine, if you found someone else, then at least tell me. Nothing. Fine, then at least answer this: do you hate me? You’re crying so hard, because even after all that, there is still silence. Does he not even care? What had you done wrong to deser-

No.

You freeze, even your tears pause, because he just replied. For the first time in years, he responded. How are you meant to respond? You can’t exactly scream for joy, even if that’s what you feel like doing.

What’s your name? That seemed like a reasonable enough question.

There was a pause that felt like an eternity. And then it came again.

A-Aone…

Your heart exploded and more tears forced their way through your eyes as you ran around your room, throwing on clothes like your life depended on it. Because nothing else matters right now. You have to see him, to hear him say it, to look him in the face and know that this isn't just some prank. That Aone is your soulmate and you aren’t insane. That this isn’t just some fantasy you’d made up in your mind to satisfy your need for love.

Before you can think, you run out of the door to your house, ignoring the cries of your parents to at least put on a coat because there isn’t any time. It feels like everything will be over now if you don’t go, so what’s the point in wasting time?

There isn’t any point.

You know the way to his house, you’ve only been there a hundred times. It’s like second nature to you.

The rain is weighing you down, your legs are aching and almost numb, you’re freezing. But you’re there frantically knocking like your life depends on it. When he opens the door, your lungs hurt too much to say anything. He looks shocked - definitely not disappointed - but shocked. Because here you are. Right in front of him. Soaked from head to toe.

You don’t move. Not when he tries to usher you inside from the rain. Not when he looks worried beyond relief. Not when the warmth coaxes your body.

It takes you so long to catch your breath, but when you do, you all but yell, “is it real? I’m not crazy. That was you, right?” Frantic and hopeful.

He grunts and nods but it isn’t enough, you have every right to be selfish after all this time. You do, don’t you?

“Say it. If it’s you, and this isn’t some sick joke, then say it.” Panic. Fear. God, your mind is a mess but you just need to know.

Silence, again. You were done with the silence. You couldn’t stand it anymore.

Your eyes are pleading him for something, anything.

And he gives you just. “It’s me.”

Even though it’s only two words, it’s enough.

You throw your arms around his neck and kiss him, because he’s here. And he’s yours. And he doesn’t actually hate you. In fact, he’s your best friend. With him you’d never felt more alive. Even when he doesn't use a lot of words, you can’t help but feel so connected to him. Because he listens and loves your voice, and you relish in the few ones he gives you. Because his actions will always speak a thousand words. Because you are his voice when he needs it; and he is the calm to your raging storm.

----

Taglist: @pies-writes-and-more​ @satan-ruler-of-hells​ @realcube​

If you want to be added to the taglist, send me a DM or an ask!

#hq aone #aone x reader #aone takanobu #haikyuu!! #soulmate

[bts-hyperfixation]

Window Pain

It was late. Well passed the time you should’ve gone to bed. Your parents had said good night hours ago. It’s not that you hadn’t tried going to sleep, but there was a lot running through your mind. You were heading off to college in the next few days and memories of this summer were keeping you awake. The most cliched, amazing summer of your life.

Every moment that wasn’t spent saving money for college was spent with friends doing things they do in the movies. BBQ’s, bonfires, beach trips, all of it. Unfortunately, some of your friends had already had to move on to the next chapter in their lives, Taehyung being the next to go.

He was due to leave first thing in the morning, you’d already said your goodbyes earlier that day. It didn’t feel like enough. He had been your best friend for most of high school, glued together. You’d taken all the same electives, a lot of the same extra curriculars, even the same part time jobs. Now he might as well be moving a million miles away. It was going to be beyond weird to have to branch out and make new friends, he was always better at it than you were.

After trying and failing to fall asleep for another twenty minutes, you hear a soft tapping on your window. Attributing it to a bird or a branch, you roll to face away and pull a pillow over your ears. When the noise doesn’t stop, you start to get a little concerned. You contemplate fetching your dad from the other room to investigate, but soon realise how silly you will seem if you wake him just to shoo a harmless animal.

Taking a deep breath you wrap your duvet around your shoulders and shuffle towards you window. Tentatively you pull back the curtains, shocked to find someone else staring back. The sudden scare made you trip on the corner or your blanket landing you in a heap on the floor, staring up at a laughing Taehyung. Recovering quickly, you unlatch the window, and he pushes passed you inside.

“Are you insane?!” Your voice hushed to make sure your parents stay asleep.

“No.”

“You’re an actual idiot, could you not have text me? I thought I was going to die.”

“Do murderers usually knock?” he says the question with such a straight face anyone else might’ve thought he was serious.

“What do you want Tae?” you ask, moving back to your bed and curling into your blanket.

“I couldn’t leave tomorrow without seeing you again Y/N.” he sits cautiously on the edge of the mattress. “Not after four years of this will they/won’t they feeling.” Too overtired to take in the full weight of his words, you just stare back clueless.

“Tae being your best friend, I can usually follow any train of thought you are on, but this time you’ve really lost me.” Your brows knit together in confusion as you watch him try to think of a way to better way to voice his problem. It’s so endearing to watch him think. His lips go pouty, and you can see every cog turning in his brain. He meets your eyes, and you can see the exact moment he figures out what he wants to say.

“It’s like that.” He is just pointing at you now, leaving you even more in the dark than before. You relinquish the warmth of your covers and shuffle to sit next to him.

“Tae, I don’t get…”

“You can’t not get it! You keep saying stuff like ‘You’re my best friend.’ or when people see us together you say, ‘He is just a friend’!”

“Did you climb in through my window just to yell about us being friends?” genuinely concerned for his mental stability now, you raise you hand to play with his hair like you always have done to calm him down.

“No, I just…. You just… you keep saying we are friends but then you look at me like that.” This time instead of just gesturing at your face, he places his hand on your cheek and forces you to meet his eyes properly.

“Look at you like what?” it’s barely above a whisper. You know what he is talking about. Of course you do. It has been blatantly obvious to everyone in your grade that you have been in love with Taehyung from the moment you met. You just never thought he had noticed.

“Look at me like… like you might feel exactly the same way I do.” His eyes are so full of hope. It would be hard to break eye contact even if he weren’t holding you there.

“I’m scared Tae.”

“Don’t think about it, just kiss me.” He presses his lips against yours. Its everything you ever thought it could be. Explosive fireworks and soft contentment all rolled into one. The kind of kiss that would make a girl’s foot *pop* if they were stood. The kind of kiss that shattered friendships. You back out of the kiss when the realisation hits. There’s no way to go back from here.

“I can’t lose you because of this.” It’s a genuine fear. The main one that’s held you back all this time. Why you never told him when you met, when you went on the school trip to Paris in junior year, earlier today when all you wanted to do was scream for him not to leave you. It took all you had to supress these emotions. If you were to go any further than this there would be no way to shut them away again. It’s either him forever, or never.

“You won’t lose me; you can’t lose me. And I can’t go to college without telling the girl I love that I love her.” The anxious twist in the bottom of your stomach explodes into butterflies. Every word you’d ever fantasized him saying to you was coming directly from him. Unless you weren’t having as much trouble sleeping as you thought. Before you get a chance to pinch yourself and wake up, he is kissing you again. Pushing you back onto the mattress and entwining your hands above your head. You’re not sure you could protest if you wanted to. He is far stronger, and your vocal cords have long since left the building. Luckily, you are exactly where you want to be. Content with anywhere as long as its in his arms.

His mouth moves from yours and trails along your jaw line, little whimpers falling from your lips in response. Something this simple should not be this sexy, and yet….

Each warm press of his lips against your skin sets you on fire. You long to touch him, run your fingers through his hair, drag your nails along his arms, anything, but he keeps your hands out of his way for now. It’s no secret that Taehyung has more experience than you. There had been the odd boy in your attempts to keep your feelings at bay, none of them ever made it passed second base though. Taehyung, on the other hand, had his fair share of cheerleaders and music girls hanging around him. its not something you guys had ever talked about in too much detail, but you were certain he had lost his virginity a long time ago. Like you said, Taehyung made friends very easily.

He finally releases your hands when he gets to the collar of your pj’s. you use your new-found freedom to bury into his thick curls, tugging lightly as he pushes your top upwards. You let go just long enough for him to take the shirt over your head. You don’t see where he throws it, too preoccupied with the fact his face was once again parallel with yours. Using the fabric of his shirt you pull his lips back to yours, using the momentum to flip yourself on top. He hits the bed with a small oof, caught off guard by your sudden assertiveness. You tear yourself away from him to take in the new view; his dumb boxy smile shining up at you.

His hands trail up your bare sides, cupping your breasts as he reaches them. His thumbs play with your nipples. Unconsciously, you grind down onto his hips. You feel his cock stir against your bum and can’t help but giggle at the sensation. You wiggle your hips again in hopes of receiving the same reaction. This time you are rewarded by a small escaping his lips. His hands leave their resting place on your chest and tangle into the mess that is your hair. He tugs you back down to meet him, shoving his face into your neck so he can bite on the sensitive skin there, marking you as his. With each rock of your hips, you feel him start to rock back. The friction added to the slight pain in your neck was amazing. You reach a hand down to play with the fly on his jeans. Before you get a chance to slide the zip down and explore further, he stops you.

“Y/N? have you done this before?” he brushes the hair back out of your face, the softest expression on his face, completely juxtaposed to the position you are in.

“No.” you admit sheepishly, suddenly feeling very insecure.

“Me either.” His admission surprises you, and apparently, it’s obvious as he laughs. “I could never get over the thought that it should be you. All of my first should have been you, but at least we still have this.” You nod and move to continue from where you left off, but he stops you again. “but not now.” You can’t stop the noise of protest as it escapes your throat making him laugh again.

“But you’re leaving tomorrow, and I don’t want to go to college without showing the boy I love that I love him.” you echo his words from earlier, hoping to gain brownie points at the same time as expressing how you feel for him. you’ve never been good at talking properly about serious feelings.

“I’m not going anywhere yet, I told my parents I needed a few more days here, I leave the same day you do. I want to take you out, on proper date before we go any further than this.”

“Fine but you are going to pay for the blue balls at a later date.” You kiss him once more before clambering off of his lap and settling into his side. He pulls the duvet over the two of you, shielding your topless form from the world and you find yourself drifting straight off in to the best sleep you’ve ever had.

A/N: sorry for the blueballs this was getting a little long

Feb request prompts - still open

Masterlist

#bts fic #bts smut #taehyung #taehyung smut #v smut #v x reader #taehyung reader #bts fluff #kpop fic #kpop smut #feb

[cupofteaguk]

come over here and make me

FROM THE PETALS COLLECTION

[pairing] :: yoongi x fem!reader

[genre] :: best friend au + fluff

[word count] :: 2.1k 

[note] :: taken from my old nct blog. i don’t write for nct anything + i don’t see myself ever posting this fic under nct anymore but i have a soft spot for this story and still wanted to post it. 

.

It’s horrible. Disgusting, even. Dreadful and shameful and shocking and ghastly all at once. Seriously, the boy could not come up with enough terrible words to describe his feelings and the unpleasant sensation coursing through his body and hitting upon every nerve underneath his skin—the feeling of responsibility. The feeling of having to take care of someone just to avoid the guilt that usually accompanies leaving someone behind, not that he sees you as unnecessary baggage or weight or an obligation or a problem, it’s just that now you are completely and utterly—!

“Shitfaced,” Yoongi hisses, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you upright and grounded—okay maybe grounded was too generous of a world to describe you and your current state of mind, because you’re lopsided and rocky and he’s sure that if he left you on your own you would tip over and that would be a new problem in it of itself. “Absolutely shitfaced. How could you be so fucking stupid?” 

“I’m not stupid,” You manage weakly, stumbling on one of the steps and he has half a mind to just leave you at the base of the stairs and spend the potential two and a half hours it would take you to sober up from this mess. However, the thought of the alcohol poisoning your liver or sending bile upwards keeps him at bay, keeps him rooted to your side. Besides, he would never leave you to fend for yourself. Min Yoongi may be the star of the basketball team, easy on the eyes and the words and a certain disarming gummy smile, who fucked around and definitely did not do the whole emotions and feelings thing, but like most seemingly perfect systems, this one had a kink, a flaw. A weakness, one that takes the form of bright eyes, soft hair he loves to curl his finger around, cheerful smile, nerdy and unique habits that make his heart spike: you. 

He likes to think that he’s not soft without a purpose, likes to rationalize with himself that there must be some reason as to why you of all people continue to get under his skin time and time again, why he naturally gravitated back towards you. It might be time, how you probably knew him better than anyone else, how comfortable he felt under your presence. It might be reassurance, how being with you and talking to you and sitting with you are all just as easy as breathing. Most of all, it might be because he’s a tad bit too in love with you, but you’d have to get him very drunk to get him to admit that (which explains why a certain Jung Hoseok knows one of his deepest and darkest secrets). 

But the debate (or the discussion) regarding Min Yoongi being in love with you is far from the point of tonight, because the tables have turned and a dare has switched the roles and he’s been reduced to dragging your drunk ass up the flight of stairs to his apartment and god, you were so fucking heavy with all that dead weight. 

“Remind me to never let you get near Jimin again,” He sneers under his breath, mentally cursing out the boy who had offered the shot of vodka to you in the first place. “I swear to god, I leave you alone for two fucking seconds—!” 

“M’not my fault!” You whine, at least having the conscious decency to stay leaning against the wall that Yoongi has propped you against in order to dig around his pockets for his keys. “It was good…” 

“You’re stupid,” He repeats with a shake of his head, unlocking the door and kicking it open long enough to help you inside. You’re no stranger to his apartment, practically living in it on the nights you spend studying with him or playing video games or, once again, just being in each other’s presence. It’s one of his favorite ways to pass the time, but you’d have to get him drunk to admit that one as well. He distracts himself by dragging you towards the couch, easing you down onto the cushion. “You stay here, lemme grab you a sweater.” 

You hum, falling back against the surface. “I love it when you give orders.” 

Min Yoongi has only gotten you drunk out of your mind a grand total of three times within the long period of time the pair of you have spent growing up together, so how could he have forgotten that you’re the type of affectionate, say-whatever-the-fuck-is-on-your-mind type of drunk and it has a tendency to drive him crazy. Not bad crazy, but the kind of crazy that almost makes him want to kiss you and confirm the fact that your lips are even softer than he’s spent way too long fantasizing about. 

He swallows thickly to dispel himself of those thoughts. “Shut up,” He manages long enough to make his escape, disappearing into the hallway and reappearing a few moments later with a sweater from his closet. “Here,” He says, reappearing just to toss you the garment. 

He’s about to turn and go back to grab some blankets for you before your whining interrupts the thought process. He sighs, turning on his heel again to find you desperately trying to find the zipper of your dress, twisting your body uselessly and arms unable to bend back far enough to reach it. You make a face, scrunching your face up, nose wrinkling and in spite of his exhaustion and the alcohol overpowering the previous adrenaline, he can’t help but quirk up the corner of his lips. Cute. 

He approaches you, sitting next to you on the couch and turning your body to the side, making quick haste to unzip your dress—not that the gesture makes him uncomfortable and not that he’s never done it before, but the action seems so private and intimate and romantic, which would normally make him want to fling himself off a cliff but with you it’s different. With you, it’s clammy hands and racing hearts and shaky breaths and just so beyond the typical Min Yoongi image that he desperately longs to separate himself from it at every possible moment. Weak, that’s what he was. With you, he’s just weak and pliable and easy to manipulate and an idiot. 

Yoongi practically tears the zipper down, flinging himself off the couch as soon as he catches sight of the skin of your back, shutting his eyes as he throws his body down on the floor. “D-Did I get it?” He inquires shakily, actually super glad that you’re drunk and likely won’t remember any of the stupid shit he could potentially say or do during a duration of the night. Finally, he wills himself to look up at you. “Do you need help with—oh my god, Y/N!” He exclaims, throwing his hands over his eyes, the image of you stripping your dress off still very clear and very vivid in his mind. “A little warning next time, will you?” 

“Yoongi, I need help,” You manage, your voice muffled by what sounds like a pillow. “I can’t put your sweater on… Yoongi!” 

He grits his teeth together, repeating the affirmation of your current state of mind and how you didn’t know any better, and how you couldn’t have known about his own personal feelings for you when no one else knows—except him and Hoseok, but besides the point. 

“Fine, fine, you big baby,” He scolds, throwing his hands down at his side and gazing down at your figure collapsed on the couch. From the light of his apartment, it’s hard to miss the black undergarments you’ve slipped yourself into, the hemline where fabric meets skin, so he works hard on distracting himself by grabbing his sweater on the other end of the couch. “Sit up for me.” 

You groan, but follow his order by arising on the cushion, watching him with wide, glassy eyes. “Yoongi,” You start, continuing to gaze up at him as he busies with straightening out the sweater in order to make it easy to slip onto you. “You’re really pretty—did you know that?” 

He stiffens slightly, heart ramming as he swallows, pinning you with a confused stare that completely goes over your head. 

The corner of your lips turn up into a smile. “Like, really pretty. Your hair always looks soft, and so does your face. Your eyes get this little sparkle when you smile, and your jawline…” 

“Y/N,” He interrupts, approaching you and raising the sweater up, watching as you raise your own arms up to help him slip the material over your head. “Shut up.” 

“I thought you liked it when people complicated you!” You retort, your statement muffled by the sweater. “I know you pretend not to, but I see that little smile you get when you think no one is watching. You always try to look really cold and calculating in front of everyone, you try to look like nothing bothers you, but you’re just a dork.” Your head pops through the top of the sweater. “You smell really good too.” 

In spite of the words you say having an effect on his mind, his heart, his nerves, he can’t help the smile that spreads itself across his lips at your scattered mess of a brain. He reaches over, running his fingers through your hair. “Go to sleep,” He says instead, turning around to go into the kitchen, probably to get some medicine and some water for you for the morning after. 

“You smell amazing Yoongi,” You continue as if you hadn’t heard him at all. “Like, really good. Like a boy. Girls smell too soft and sweet most of the time, too floral, you know? But you smell sturdy. Sturdy and a little bit of pine. Outdoorsy. I didn’t know you went outside so much.” 

“Y/N, I say this for both my sanity and your own—but go to sleep,” He interjects just as he’s approaching you again to place the medicine and water on the coffee table. “Waking up might hurt like a bitch, you gotta just rest this off.” 

You laugh. “We should go outside more, like hiking or something. Or rock climbing. It could be a date!” You sit up, eyes widening. “We should go on a date, Yoongi.” 

“No, we shouldn’t.” The words, however, feel pathetic leaving his lips. It’s a very light-hearted retort on the subject matter. 

“Why? You don’t want to go on a date with me?” 

Yoongi rolls his eyes without contempt. “Shut up Y/N.” He turns to make his way down the hallway towards his bedroom, his mind set on adjusting his alarm to early morning so he could make you breakfast before you could wake up. 

You moan, still trapped in your spot on the couch. “Come over here and make me.” 

Yoongi freezes from his place in the hallway. Your voice seems to have lost its original innocent, light-hearted quality to it and is replaced with something darker, lower in pitch, husky along the edges, and his swallows. 

He turns around just in time to see you stagger your way back to your feet. Despite the swaying of your body, you look less drunk than you had been a few moments ago. Yoongi’s eyes roam quickly along your frame, taking in everything from the way you wear his sweater to the dark glint in your eyes, the red of your lips and the flush of your cheeks—you look so vulnerable and welcoming and warm and Yoongi would be lying to himself if he told himself he didn’t just want to take you and have you right there on the couch.

But the bigger part of him, the bigger part that loves you and is protective over you, who promises to himself that he would never let anything happen to you—wins. Of course it wins. Like he said, weak. You make him weak. 

He does manage a few steps towards you, reaching forward to grip your shoulders and setting you back on the couch. He kneels before you, leaning forward to kiss your temple, lips hovering your ear: “If you can say that to me while sober, we’ll talk.” 

You let out a sigh, leaning into him, and he can physically feel the air of liquid courage fading away from your body and being replaced with complete and utter exhaustion—at your ropes end, you are a sleepy drunk. 

He smiles against your skin, pulling away and readjusting you so that you laid horizontal on the couch. “Sweet dreams.” 

#yoongi scenarios #yoongi fluff #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fluff #yoongi imagine #yoongi x you #yoongi scenario #idk how to tag anymore i'm sorry #collection:petals #traci writes

[p-artsypants]

I Do...I Guess? (Part  One)

The Proposal

FF.net | Ao3.com

I got a craving to replay FFX again for the first time in like ten years. To be honest, I forgot a bunch of stuff (not to mention that I never finished it in the first place.) 

I’m recently engaged, and as I was playing this game, my brain kept saying ‘how would this scene be different if Yuna and Tidus were married?’

So I decided to write it. 

I didn’t want to rehash the whole story completely, so it diverts a bit and I skipped some scenes that I felt would have been the same in canon. Hope you enjoy! 

--

It felt good to laugh. Right. Like they weren’t on a mission to save the world. Like they weren’t trying to stop a hellish reincarnation of his father. 

Like they were a bunch of friends, having fun on a road trip. 

Yuna looked at him, eyes filled with tears from their laughter. Most of her smiles so far had been strained, or just an act. But this was joy. Pure, real joy. 

His fake, psychotic laugh had echoed over Luca, and at first she couldn’t stand the absurdity of it. 

But only a few minutes later, when they both frantically tried to catch their breaths, Yuna realized what she was missing. 

Someone who wasn’t afraid to be a little silly. Someone who wasn’t afraid to be a little rude or wild, even in the face of propriety of Yevon. 

It was a good feeling. 

She smiled at him. “I like you, Tidus.” 

The blunt phrase hit him like a bullet, straight to his heart. “I uh uh...like you too?” And he did. Maybe a little too much for the comfort of his fellow guardians. But getting Yuna’s approval felt good at least. It was nice to know she liked him, and she wasn’t just tolerating him as Wakka’s lost duckling. 

Well, she had agreed to make him a guardian, hadn’t she? That had to count for something. 

She nodded once, a determined look on her face. “Wait here a second, okay?” 

“Oooookay?” 

She walked over to where the others were standing, watching with faces of confusion and mild horror. 

“What?” Called Tidus. 

“We were just wondering if you two had finally lost it!” Wakka called back. 

Tidus didn’t get a chance to reply as Yuna beckoned Wakka into a huddle with the others. 

She talked too softly for him to hear, back to him, and hands held tightly to her chest. No indication of what this was all about. 

But they all gasped together, obviously shocked at something she had to say. 

Something about him? What? Did she want to make him super guardian or something? Did he get promoted already? 

Each and every guardian took a second to look at him, eyes narrowed in a glare of scrutiny. 

Aw crap. What did he do wrong this time?

They all seemed to come to an agreement, as they nodded solemnly. 

When Yuna returned, her face was red, and her eyes wouldn’t meet his. 

“Yuna?” 

“I would...like to ask you something.” 

“Shoot.” 

“It may be sudden, and a little strange...” 

“As has my whole journey been so far. Nothing new for me.” 

“Well...if it’s not too much...I’d like to ask you...to marry me.” 

“M-m-marry?!” He stuttered, taking a full step back. “Wh-what? How? Why?!” 

“You can say no!” She insisted. “It’s just that...summoners typically have a family, or a next of kin. My parents are gone, and I have no siblings. Lulu, Wakka, and Kimahri feel like siblings to me, but in the eyes of Yevon, they’re only friends. I’d like to...take you as my husband. Officially.” 

“That...makes sense...but why me?” 

Her face turned redder. “I told you I liked you...” 

“I didn’t know you meant it that way.” 

Yuna looked ready to cry. “You can still say no. And nothing will change! You can still be my guardian. It’s just that...the temples get really touchy about guardians of the opposite sex staying in the same room with the summoner if they aren’t related or married. Lulu thinks it would be safer...” she covered her mouth. “I’m sorry! I don’t want to pressure you! This is up to you, and I don’t want to twist your arm!” 

Tidus laughed. Not at her, of course, just the situation in general. It was a hollow laugh, one that betrayed how he felt. 

She blushed again, this time in embarrassment. “It’s not a joke...” 

Tidus took a deep breath. “No, it’s not. I’m sorry, I was just...a little shocked. Are you sure? I mean, I’m trying to get back to Zanarkand. If you don’t think I will ever get there, and so you’re taking a chance on me...” 

She shook her head. “I don’t know if you’ll go back. If you do, I’d like to go with you.” She bit her lip and looked away from him. “Truth is...I haven’t ever felt this way about someone before. I felt it the day we met, too. And it’s only grown stronger every time you made me laugh.” She bravely met his eyes. “I don’t know what the future holds for us. But this is something I can control. Something that I can choose. And I choose you. If you’ll have me.” 

Tidus scratched his head, torn. Yuna was amazing. Wonderful, beautiful, sweet, and kind. Not to mention wickedly talented as a summoner. 

But Sin. His father. Zanarkand. Would she still pick him if she knew? 

“This is your decision,” said Auron. “It doesn’t need to be rushed.”

“The next temple is Djose,” added Wakka. “It’s a ways away. But you have until then to decide. That’s the soonest we can get someone to perform the ceremony.” 

Yuna looked small. Smaller than he had ever seen her before. And it was his fault. “Hey,” he said, grasping her shoulder. “My hesitation isn’t because of you.” 

She looked at him, hope in her eyes. 

“I do like you. Kind of like you said you liked me. I noticed it a while ago, but didn’t think it was...wise to entertain it. Any man would be lucky to take you as a...wife.” He struggled with the word. “But, I just need a little time to think. I want to do what’s right. I don’t want to be a hindrance on your pilgrimage.” 

“Oh you won’t be!” Yuna insisted. 

“Yuna,” Auron stepped in. “What if...you beat Sin, and he goes back home? Would your marriage matter?” 

Yuna was quiet a moment. “I always wanted to be a summoner. Ever since I was a child. Just like my father. Marriage was a pipe dream. I know I won’t get that domestic life that everyone dreams about. But if I could entertain it, for a little while, I think it would be worth it.” 

“Who said you can’t have domestic bliss?” Asked Tidus. “Say I agree. You defeat Sin. I don’t go home. Then what? We bask in the glory of your success and return to Besaid. Or wherever you want to settle.” 

Everyone was silent, not making eye contact. 

“I mean, I have faith that we can beat Sin. I’m just saying that fantasizing about the future could be fun.” 

Lulu spoke up. “Perhaps it’s best if you thought things over. We understand where Yuna is coming from. If you want to talk things through a little more, just ask.” 

Auron nodded. “But we can talk on the road. We should get going.” 

All talk of betrothal behind them for now, the group ascended the stairs and stepped onto the plains. 

Everyone moved on, the air a mixture of tense silence and feigned normalcy. 

Tidus hung in the back, away from Yuna, feeling like the scum of the earth. 

Auron walked beside him, that mysterious quiet following him. 

“I messed up, didn’t I?” 

“She sprung that proposal on all of us. Your reaction was normal.” 

“What am I supposed to do? You know what’s going on better than anyone else. What with...Jecht and Sin. You told me not to tell her. So what’s the right thing to do?” 

“Yuna cares deeply for you. I knew it the moment I saw you together.” 

“Oh, like you’re some sort of love expert?” 

“Not a bit. But Yuna is easy to read.” 

“Yeah...she is.” 

“And you didn’t notice?” 

“It’s different when it’s you, you know?” 

“You’re just oblivious.” 

“Am not!” 

“And immature. Definitely not marriage material.” 

“Now you’re just being mean.” 

“You’re just being sensitive.” 

“Rude.” 

They fell into silence then, just following Wakka and Lulu’s lead. 

“Tidus.” He spoke softly.

“Hm?”

“Yuna is Lord Braska’s daughter.” 

“Correct.” 

“The honor of defeating Sin would make her a legend. That honor is something she’s willing to share with you.” 

“I mean, I was planning on helping her anyway. I don’t need the glory.” 

“Then I anticipate you’re a lot less selfish then some other men in this world.” 

“I...don’t follow.” 

Auron exhaled, patiently rewording his explanation. “If you don’t wed her, there’s a chance someone else would try to do so. And they might not be in it for the right reasons.” 

“...so, you’re saying I should say yes?” 

“You wanted guidance. Isn’t that why you’re walking so far back?” 

“I do want guidance. I’ve only been in Spira for a week, and I’ve already been proposed to. How’s a guy supposed to handle that?” 

He sighed. “I don’t want to screw things up for Yuna. I want to help, but if everything that I am...if what he is makes everything wrong...and it’s too late to back out, I would feel awful.” 

“Sin’s identity won’t matter. None of this will matter in the end.” 

“In the end?” 

“Once she calls the Final Aeon. Her pilgrimage is over, and it won’t matter. Being married to you, whether you stay on Spira or not, is irrelevant.” 

“If I do go back in the end, will Yuna be able to marry again? Is that legal here? Dumb question, I know...” 

“It’s legal. But she probably won’t.” 

“And she’s okay with that?” 

“Yuna knows all the consequences of her decisions. She may be naïve and hopeful, but she isn’t ignorant.” 

Before the conversation could progress, there was a growl from the tall grass before a wolf fiend leapt from its hiding place, and the guardians fell into battle. 

—

Next on the chopping block was Wakka. 

Or rather, he was the chopper, and Tidus the choppee.

He grabbed Tidus by the head, forcing his face into his armpit and nooging his head. “I told you not to go getting any ideas!” 

Tidus nearly puked, but broke out of the grapple before he could die. “And I told you no promises!” He wiped his face with his sleeve. “It’s not my fault I’m ridiculously charming.” 

Wakka huffed, “‘Ridiculously charming’ yeah right. I saw you talking on the boat. You were flirting with her!” 

“If being nice and talking to her is flirting here, then I don’t want to know what my actual flirting game looks like in your eyes.” 

Wakka rubbed the back of his head. “I should have seen this coming. Yuna doesn’t know a lot of boys her age. It was only a matter of time before she got a crush on you.”

“So because I’m her age, and around, she was bound to like me? Is that what you’re saying? Really?” 

“...you’re right. That makes Yuna sound shallow. Still...I wish it hadn’t been you.” 

“Wow, thanks a lot man. Didn’t know you had such a poor opinion of me.” 

Wakka groaned loudly, catching the attention of everyone else. He waved them on, and pulled Tidus back a little further. “You’re cool, dude. Honest. I just...do you remember the story of Lady Yunalesca and Lord Zaon?” 

“No.” 

“Well, Lady Yunalesca is the first summoner to ever defeat Sin. And she did it with her guardian, her lover and husband Lord Zaon at her side. It’s a love story that everyone fantasizes about having one day. Yuna has the capabilities to be just like Lady Yunalesca. But you...you’re no Lord Zaon.” 

“So? Maybe a Lord Zaon isn’t what she needs.” 

“What she needs is someone to support her. Someone who knows what’s going on, who doesn’t need her to hold their hand and explain everything to. I’m really not trying to be mean, brother, but that Sin toxin messing with your head is a major point against you.” 

Tidus understood exactly what he was talking about. He had gotten in plenty of hot water with people when he flubbed up some religious practice. Even simple questions were treated like heresy. 

If you couldn’t ask questions about your faith, and you just followed what everyone said, was it even your own belief? Or just blind obedience? That was something that was nagging him about Yevon. And maybe that was an indication that he would just be trouble for Yuna. 

“Yuna needs a strong, smart, level headed pillar…not a doofus.” 

“I’m not that big of a doofus.” Tidus scuffed his boot against the ground. “But I get it. My ignorance is a boo-boo.” 

“Other than that, I’ve got no complaints!” Wakka protested. “You’re nice, make some really great jokes, you’re a decent fighter and only getting better…”

“What, you put me down only so you can butter me up? Pick a mood, man!” 

“Sorry, sorry, I just…was surprised. When she proposed. I understand why, I’m just…” 

“I get it. And now I know your opinion on the matter.” 

“What did Sir Auron say?”

Tidus shrugged. “Danced around the topic. Made some good points, but ultimately decided it didn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter?”

“Probably as long as Yuna continues her pilgrimage, he doesn’t care about her love life. I’m definitely not going to try to stop her. She has an amazing goal ahead of her.”

“Yeah…” Wakka shrugged. “It’s a little terrifying too. Exciting to be a part of it, but...” 

“Daunting.” He finished for him. 

“Yeah. That’s a good word for it.” He rubbed his shoulders. “Anyways, if you do decide to take Yuna up on her offer, there won’t be any hard feelings, okay? Yuna makes her decisions, and she’s put this one in your hands. I can’t stop her or you.” 

“But if you could?” 

“I already told her what I told you.” 

“You told her I was a doofus?” 

“More or less.” 

“Thanks.” 

“She still proposed. My guess is she already knew.” 

“She’s at least kind enough not to say it to my face.” 

Wakka chuckled. “She’s too nice for her own good.” 

“Can I say something and you not get mad at me?” 

“No guarantees.” 

Tidus chuckled. “Remember when we were in Kilika and Dona was there, and saying all that crap, and Yuna very politely but firmly told her to move on?” 

“Yeah?” 

“It was extremely hot.” 

Wakka barked a laugh. “Glad to know you like a woman being stern with you.” 

Tidus shrugged. “Maybe. Back in Zanarkand, I had a lot of girls doing whatever they could to get with me. It got really annoying after a while.” 

“Oh, Mr. Hotshot blitzball player, star of the Zanarkand Abes! Player and most beloved bachelor, ya? Sounds like a real delusion. You must have inhaled a lot of that toxin.” 

“Yeah,” Tidus scoffed. “About a thousand years worth. I thought you were starting to believe me?” 

“I was, but then you started talking about your groupies and now I’m not so sure.” 

“Look, if you’re not going to be helpful, then I might as well go talk to someone else.” He spotted the next closest guardian and spoke a little louder. “Hey Kimahri!” 

The Ronso glanced at him, eyes narrowed in that stoic way he always was. 

“I was wondering, what’s your opinion on Yuna’s proposal? Should I say yes?” 

Kimahri lowered his head in thought, but only for a moment, before raising a large paw and whacking Tidus on the back, like you would a friend. 

Then he walked away. 

“What was that supposed to mean?” 

Wakka chuckled. “I think it’s free for interpretation.” 

—

They came across many people on the Mi'ihen Highroad. An old scholar with the dustiest voice he’d ever heard, an acolyte of Yevon named Sholanda—Shinda? Shish Kabob—Tidus could never keep these people’s names straight. A thousand years is plenty of time for words to evolve. 

And then there was Belgemine. A summoner, and a nice one, for once. A breath of fresh air compared to Dona. 

Yuna accepted the friendly spar, grateful for the chance to learn and grow. The guardians stepped back, and offered plenty of room for the magic storm that was to unfold. 

Belgemine had a new aeon to Tidus. A werewolf on fire, with nasty horns and claws. 

This must be the aeon from Kilika, though he didn’t hear what name Yuna gave hers. 

‘Hot Dog’ would have to do. 

Yuna raised her staff, and drew it back like the bow on a cello. The glyph appeared, and the summoning began. 

It was just as awe inspiring as the first time he had seen ‘Big Bird’ in Besaid, and every time after. Each direction she gave her aeon was lethal to any man or fiend, but Belgemine’s aeon took hit after hit. 

He wanted to cheer, if he hadn’t been too entranced by all the sparking lights. 

“Your mouth is open,” commented Lulu, dryly. 

He snapped it shut. “Oh. Yeah...I just can’t get over how cool these summons are. Yuna’s so talented.” 

“Her prayers are strong. The Fayth hears them, and the aeon reflects that strength. The more resolve, the more powerful the aeon.” 

“So Yuna is really determined to fight Sin, huh?” 

“Personally, I believe that she thinks she has no other option. She is her father’s daughter. What would anyone else expect of her?” 

“Kinda crappy on their part. Yuna has more merit than just who her dad is.” 

“To you and I, of course. But to the rest of Spira, a bunch of strangers, she’s a beacon of hope.” 

Tidus considered that a moment, hearing the phrase repeated time and time again. He wondered who they were trying to convince. 

“Would Yuna taking a husband blot out that beacon?”

It was Lulu’s turn to be silent, as Yuna’s aeon created a burst of light and Belgemine’s dog turned into pyreflies. 

“Yuna’s journey will not be easy. Yevon demands their summoners to never show sorrow or worry, but she is still young. She could use someone to share the burden with.” 

“So...is that a yes? I should take Yuna up on the proposal?” 

“I’m still trying to rationalize it out.” She said honestly. But the coldness in which she usually answered his dumb questions with was absent. “As a woman, who had loved and lost, there is something so simple and innocent as wanting to find your Prince Charming and live happily ever after. Not many do. The uncertainty of life on Spira doesn’t allow much for waiting and hoping.”

“So this is pretty normal? Knowing someone for a week and then proposing?” 

“For some. For Chappu and I, we thought we had plenty of time. We were both accomplished fighters, and we were sensible. There was no reason to rush. I don’t like having regrets, or wondering what things would have been different if I had made another choice. The past is the past. But, other people might have the right idea in rushing.” 

“So...yes?” 

“Are you that eager?” She smirked. 

“I don’t know! I never thought about getting married. I thought, hey, someday, if I meet the right girl...I didn’t exactly have a great example of domestic bliss in my own life. But it was something to think about when I was older. Now was for partying, flirting with the cute fans, getting my game right!” He sighed. “At least it was, until I came here. Now it’s surviving, and being prepared to take the hit for her. I...don’t even want to play blitzball anymore.” 

“So you’ve talked to the others?” 

“Yeah. Got a hard no, a vague back pat, and a ‘it doesn’t matter.’” 

She scoffed. “Men. Well? What do you want? Yuna gave you the choice.” 

“But do I choose what I want, or what’s right?” 

“They aren’t the same answer?” 

“I...honestly don’t know.”

—

They arrived at the Al Bhed inn in the evening when the sun was still high. Tidus found it greatly satisfying to see Auron not putting up with the blatant racism from Wakka, and they took out rooms for the night. One cramped room for the guys, and one for the girls. 

How would that work if he and Yuna got married? Would Lulu still stay in the room? Would she get one of her own?

It was crazy that he was even thinking about it. This wasn’t the kind of person he was. How many marriage proposals did he get daily from random girls back in Zanarkand? Dozens. 

And how often did he entertain the idea of agreeing? Not once. Sure, he soaked in the thrill and flattery of it all, but not one of those girls had made him consider taking a vow. 

So what was it with Yuna? He’d known her a little over a week, and most of that week was met with hostile glances from the other guardians. 

But she was so easy to want to protect, to want to talk to, and to be around. 

And maybe, even easy to lo—

Mm, maybe he wasn’t there yet. He definitely liked her though. But marriage!?

Sleep didn’t come easy. He was certainly physically tired, after saving Yuna from being kidnapped that morning, playing a game of Blitz, and the fight with all the fiends after��

But his mind was a wreck. For a little bit, he thought he might have had a dream—or rather, a nightmare. His old man, huge and bloated and horrible, writhing like the monster he had seen as Sin. Yuna stood near, her blue eye filled with ice, her green with fire. And she stared right at him, face unreadable with the neutral, emotionless summoner facade she always had to wear. 

“You would have your wife kill your father? How could you be so cruel?”

And then he woke up. 

Auron was gone, though Wakka and Kimahri were asleep on the other side of the room. After that disturbing vision, he doubted he would be getting any sort of sleep for a while. So he rose, and went outside to see if he could find Auron. 

The sun was setting. Auron stood just outside the Inn, watching Yuna who sat in the grass, cliff side. 

They hadn’t talked since the proposal. Things were too awkward, and he still didn’t have an answer for her. 

It seemed like Auron didn’t care, as he shoved him forward. 

Tidus pinwheeled before he could fall on his face, though the sound caught Yuna’s attention and she turned to look at him. 

“Uh--howdy?”

She smiled at him. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

“Nah, not really. Can I join you?”

She patted the grass beside her, and he sat carefully, keeping a little distance between them. 

Several moments passed in silence as Yuna stared out at the sunset. “It’s so pretty.” 

“Yeah. Real peaceful.” 

“I’d love to live in a place like this…someday. Someplace where everything seems calm and beautiful.” 

“It’s much different from back home.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…my Zanarkand never sleeps…or slept. People coming and going all night long, businesses open all the time, lights replacing the moon and stars. It was a different kind of beauty.”

“I’d like to see it. At least once.” 

“Maybe you will. Who knows?”

“Yeah…who knows?”

They sat in silence, that was not unpleasant, for a few minutes, before Tidus began, awkwardly. “I’ve been thinking about your proposal. I don’t have an answer for you yet. And for that, I’m really sorry.” 

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I sprung it on you. Feel free to think things through.”

“Thank you. I was telling Lulu…back home, marriage wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. It was all partying and Blitzball. Since coming here, I’ve had to reframe my mind.” 

She suddenly gasped. “I didn’t even think to ask you! You don’t have a girl waiting for you back in Zanarkand, do you?”

He groaned, but then laughed. “I mean, I guess I did. But I probably would have broken up with her when I got back anyway.” 

“I’m so sorry! Did you love her?”

He shook his head. “Janni was…a girl I was in school with. She asked me out. Or, she declared that we were now dating. This was before I went pro with Blitzball, when I was just playing with my school. I was shy and nervous, and when she asked me out, I was like, ‘yeah sure! I’ll date a pretty girl!’” He huffed. “She was a whirlwind of dysfunction. Not that I come from a wholesome family, but…she would always play these mind games with me. When I first went pro, she was excited for me, but then quickly turned around and said I wasn’t paying enough attention to her. Then when I would try to do nice things for her, she would claim I was being too clingy.” 

“She sounds fickle,” Yuna said, with her mouth scrunched up. 

“There was a phrase where I come from, that goes: ‘don’t stick your dick in crazy’.” 

Yuna blushed. “They speak about sex so openly in Zanarkand?” 

“Depending on the company you keep. Anyways, I never slept with her, even though I know she wanted to, just because I got this sinking feeling that something bad would happen if I did. So, she would often break up with me, and go see another man. Then when that didn’t work out, she came back and demanded that we were together again.” 

“And you just went with it?” 

“Yeah. It’s pretty dumb...we were both immature, and I made plenty of mistakes too, but I just felt like I had invested so much time with her already, that refusing her would have made all of that a waste.” 

Yuna sniffed slightly as her lip trembled. “That’s so awful.” 

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought her up! I know you said you liked me...” 

She shook her head. “That’s not it. I’m heartbroken that someone would take advantage of you like that. That she just...assumed you’d be waiting for her, so she could fool around! That’s cruel!” 

He sighed. “I don’t know why, but hearing you say that makes me feel a lot better.” 

“Tidus, you deserve to be loved and cherished.” She said it so seriously, he felt it in his chest. It made it hard to swallow. 

“Thank you, Yuna. You do too, you know?” 

She just gave him a soft smile and returned her gaze to the rapidly disappearing sun.

#Final Fantasy X #FFX #tidus x yuna #final fantasy tidus #tidus #yuna #Final Fantasy #fanfiction #I Do I guess

[deanwanddamons]

The Best Weekend Of Your Life - Chapter 1

Summary: You are obsessed with Supernatural and go to a convention with your best friend. You are 100% a Dean girl while your friend is a Sam girl. Both Jensen and Jared are single in this. You both catch the guys attention and things go from there.

Pairing: Jensen x reader, Jared x readers best friend

Word Count: 2774

Warning: Romance, fluff 

Song for chapter: https://youtu.be/xDeyXWyM4Oo - Thunder - Loved Walked In

It was finally here. You and F/N have been waiting months for the Supernatural convention and have managed to book a room in the same hotel it’s being held in for the whole weekend. You are both obsessed with the show. You have lost count of the amount of times you have fantasized about Jensen Ackles. The way his hands would feel on your skin, how he would smell and how your name would sound coming from those perfect lips. This was going to be a weekend to remember.

It had taken you a long time and many outfit changes to decide what you were going to wear. Finally you made your mind up and went for your trusty tight fitting Levi’s, a black bodysuit with lace sleeves, black knee high boots with 4 inch stiletto heels and cropped leather biker jacket. You had your hair dyed the deep shade of red you knew suited you and your 80’s rock chick makeup was down to a fine art.

Waiting at the train station with F/N, you can’t contain your excitement. You feel like a child on Christmas morning.

‘Fuck F/N! I can’t believe we are really going to see them in the flesh! I just know I’m gonna do something stupid in front of Jensen though. You know what I’m like!’

‘Yep Y/N, you are pretty clumsy but I’m pretty sure they are going to be way too busy to take any notice of us anyway. Can you imagine how many other people are going to be there?’ said F/N.

Your heart sinks when you realise all the effort you put into your outfit and make up will no doubt be for nothing, but you can’t let the boys see you without at least trying to look good.

The train pulls up and you and F/N board. It’s only a 20 minute journey and you could have easily come home rather than fork out £120 for a room, but you didn’t want to miss any part of the convention and the last train was at 10.20pm.

You arrive at the hotel and check into your room. Glancing at your watch you see it’s 11.30am, and the Q&A with the cast starts at 12pm so you and F/N just have time to unpack your cases, touch up your makeup, and spray some perfume. You take one last glance at your reflection ‘You're going to knock them dead Y/N’ you whisper.

Leaving the room you make your way to the lifts. Following the signs through reception, you enter a huge function room with what must be 1,000 chairs and the same amount of people milling about. There is a stage at the front of the room, with stools, microphones and a guitar setup. Your heart is beating a tattoo in your chest and you feel like you’re finding it hard to breath you’re that excited.

‘Quick Y/N,’ says F/N ‘There are two chairs right at the front!’ She grabs your hand and with a determined shove, pushes through the crowd. You reach the chairs just as two other girls get to them. Being her usual feisty self F/N dives in front of them glaring up at them, ‘I don’t think so!’ she hisses and plonks herself down, pulling you onto the other chair giggling as the girls slink away.

Getting yourself comfortable you pull out the itenary for the weekend. Other cast members are going to be answering questions, but you are only really interested in the boys. You have your ticket ready for the photo opportunity with them, and can’t wait for the moment you finally get to interact with Jensen. The talk from others who have met him is that he is much taller in real life than he seems on TV. That's why you wore heels in case it's true. You stand at 5ft without them, so that you don't want to look like a proper short arse beside him. And with Jared being 6ft 4 you would look even more ridiculous without heels. Luckily F/N is 5ft 8 with a body like a supermodel so she is going to look amazing next to Jared.

F/N grabs your hand and squeezes it, smiling broadly at you as the lights go down. Richard Speight Jr and Rob Benedict, the MC’s walk onto the stage.

One by one they introduce a few of the Supernatural cast. With thunderous applause, Jim Beaver, Ruth Connell, Mark Sheppard and Samantha Smith take to the stage, and entertain the crowd, answering questions and telling stories about each other. Finally, even though you have really enjoyed hearing them speak, it is time for the main attraction.

Your heart starts thumping and you feel your palms getting clammy when Richard announces ‘And now for the moment you have all been waiting for! Please welcome Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki!’

F/N starts squealing ‘Oh My God’ over and over again grabbing your arm. This is it! You’re finally going to see him!

And there he is. All 6ft 1 of him. Broad chest and shoulders, dressed in tight blue jeans, plaid shirt and cowboy boots. You have never seen anyone so beautiful in your entire life. Your heart literally stops and your breath catches in your throat.

Jensen looks around the room smiling and waving, and his eyes glance past you. His head swings back. Amazing green eyes meet yours. He grins straight at you and your stomach falls into your feet. Wait...did that really just happen? Did he pick you out from the crowd or was it just wishful thinking? You look behind you, thinking he must have been distracted by someone or something else, but when you turn back towards the stage those eyes are still staring at you. With a shy, almost coy smile, he lowers his eyes and turns away.

You spin around to look at F/N but she is mesmerised, staring at Jared. Her mouth hangs open, eyes shining. You have to admit, he is a very good looking guy, but nothing compared to Jensen. You’re still not sure what just happened with him. Could he really have been looking at you?

‘Don’t be stupid,’ you tell yourself, ‘there are hundreds of people in this room, why would he be looking at you!?’

You realise you’re not actually taking in anything that’s going on on the stage as you are so caught up in your own little fantasy, so you snap yourself out of it, and get your head back in the room. The boys are sitting on the stools, microphones in hand poised for questions. A plethora of shouts come from the crowd, so Jensen raises his hand, causing the room to fall silent.

‘Good evening Manchester!’ he says and bows followed by Jared. ‘Let’s crack on with the questions’

As you are at the front of the auditorium you have the best view of the boys. Questions come from people all around you, about Supernatural, their relationship with each other, other casts members and their personal lives.

‘Yes we are both single,’ Jared answers which raises a woop from the crowd.

F/N nudges you and winks ‘I swear Jensen is looking at you!’ nodding her head towards him. You glance up, and sure enough, those mesmerising eyes meet yours. You hold his gaze, smiling slightly, and tilt your head to the side. You can feel your cheeks start to redden but are determined not to be the first one to look away.

Just then, Jared starts nudging him, ‘Hey buddy! Cat got your tongue?!’

He turns away, smirking, but not before slowly licking those incredible plump lips. F/N almost loses it, gripping your hand whispering, ‘He is totally flirting with you I’m telling you!’

‘Don’t be mental!’ you tell her, laughing, but inside your shaking. Is he? No, he can’t be?

The questions keep on coming until Jensen picks up the guitar. There is an audible hush around the room when he starts to play. His fingers move quickly and deftly over the strings and you recognise the song. It’s ‘Love Walked In’ by Thunder. He slowly raises his head to the microphone, looks you straight in the eye and starts to sing.

‘So tired of waiting I walked an empty land

I was looking for something to help me understand But bad luck kept turning my dreams into sand I didn't want pity, I had my share of friends I wanted somebody more special than the rest I was aching inside like I was approaching the end Just about that moment the timing was so right You appeared like a vision sent down to my life I thought I was dreaming when I saw you that night

That's when love walked in through my door That familiar feeling I had once before love walked in through my door And it felt so strange’

You stare intently at him the whole time he is singing. The look on his face and the sparkle in his eyes makes you realise that you haven’t been imagining it. It’s as though you are the only two people in the room. You are certain that time has stopped and your lungs fail to take in deep breaths.

All too soon the song ends to huge applause. Jensen finally averts his gaze from yours and puts the guitar back on its stand.

‘Thank you so much!’ he says bowing ‘hopefully see you at the photo opportunity!’ The boys leave the stage, both of them glancing over their shoulders straight at you and F/N.

‘What the fuck just happened then!’ F/N yells throwing her arms around you in tight hug. ‘That man wants you Y/N. He didn’t stop staring at you the whole time he was singing! It’s as though he was undressing you with his eyes!’

Could she be right? All sorts of thoughts are flying around your brain. He probably does this all the time. Chooses someone in the crowd to make feel good for those few moments, then moves on to the next girl.

F/N looks at her watch,‘Come on Y/N. The photo opp with the boys is starting now. I can’t wait to get my hands on Jared!’

You and F/N rush through the throng of people to a side room where quite a crowd has gathered. You sigh, knowing it’s going to be a long wait for you to see Jensen again. The queue seems to go on forever and you can feel yourself getting more and more impatient. After what feels like an eternity, you can finally see them. Laughing and smiling with fans, camera flashes going off all around. F/N sequels, clapping her hands together. ‘Almost there Y/N!’

It’s your turn. Jensen has his back to you, a glass of water in his hand. He turns, and spots you waiting. His beautiful face lights up, lips turning into the biggest smile and he beckons you over. You can hardly move your legs they are shaking so much, but you manage to put one foot in front of the other and walk over to him.

‘Hey!’ He says, his 6ft 1 frame huge compared to yours. You catch a faint whiff of his aftershave and he smells incredible.

“H-hi." you stutter, closing your eyes tightly as you silently curse yourself for your nerves.

‘What’s your name?’ he asks beaming at you.

‘I’m Y/N and this is F/N.’ Gesturing to your friend, but she is completely distracted by Jared who is already engaged in a full blown conversation with her.

‘Y/N,’ he says quietly in his deep, sexy voice. Wow! It sounded even better than you ever imagined when you had fantasised about this moment. ‘I saw you in the crowd, you were sat at the front right?’ He asks.

‘Yes,’ you reply, ‘And you sang one of my favorite songs!’

‘I could tell by looking at you that you would be a rock chick,’ he responds, eyes travelling down your body, back up to your face, ‘girl after my own heart.’

You swallow hard, not quite believing you are having this conversation with him. ‘Look’ he says, putting his arm around you and pulling you towards him. He looks around conspiratorially, ‘I hate the fact we only get a few minutes to chat to everyone, and this is really not something I would normally do, but I can’t leave this town not having gotten to know you a little bit better.’

Your heart stops then quickly picks up its beat again. ‘Well, we are here for the weekend so if you have any down time....’ you say confidently, although inside you have turned to jelly.

Jensen turns away, reaches for a piece of paper and a pen, ‘Write your number down, quickly, before they move you long,’ he chuckles, handing them to you. You do as he asks. The photographer is growing impatient, so Jensen whispers 'How about photo of us?’ and slides his arm around your waist. You reach behind him and silently slip the paper with your number on into the back pocket of his jeans. You feel the swell of his fantastic ass under your hand as you do so and are amazed at how wonderful it feels.

He looks at you and winks, understanding what you have just done, and places his hand on your face, turning you to look at him just as the camera goes off. You smirk up at him, staring into his eyes, hoping this moment could last forever.

‘Can I text you later?’ he husks. All you can do is nod. He gives you a quick hug and steps away from you. You feel F/N grab your arm,shouting ‘Thanks guys you are amazing!’ as she pulls you away.

‘You are not going to believe what just happened!’ F/N squeals, jumping up and down on the spot.

‘Jared asked for your number?’ you ask.

‘How did you know?’

‘Because Jensen asked for mine too!’ You grin as you say it, still not believing it just happened ‘Don’t get too excited though,’ you warn F/N, ‘it doesn’t mean to say they will contact us.’

‘Come on,’ you say to F/N, ‘Let’s check out the expedition hall. I’m starving and there are food and drink stands there. Let’s grab something to eat.’

You're not really that hungry, but need to do something to occupy yourself and after that encounter with Jensen, you need some sugar. You make your way towards the hall, and wander around trying to decide what to get. There’s plenty on offer, and decide on a pancake with maple syrup, and a Diet Coke, hoping it will calm the butterflies that are zooming around in your stomach. F/N heads off to find somewhere to sit as you go to the stand to place your orders.

Tray in hand, you make your way through the crowd to the table she has found. Dropping down into the seat opposite F/N, you take a small bite of your food. It’s delicious, but your mouth is so dry you find it hard to swallow. You take a sip of the Diet Coke, and try to relax.

The first few bars of ‘Back in Black’ alerts you that you have a text, so you pull your phone from your back pocket.

‘Fucking hell!’ You almost drop it when you see the message. Jensen has actually texted you! What the fuck!? How are you going to respond?

‘Nnnooooo,’ F/N yells snatching the phone off you, almost choking on her pancake. ‘Oh my God Y/N. Answer him!’

You take the phone back off her and hand shaking, type a message back. The responses come thick and fast.

CHAPTER TWO

#dean winchester #jensen x reader #jensen ackles smut #supernatural smut #supernatural fanfiction #multi chapter

[dirtysupernaturalimagines]

The Best Weekend Of Your Life - Chapter 1

Summary: You are obsessed with Supernatural and go to a convention with your best friend. You are 100% a Dean girl while your friend is a Sam girl. Both Jensen and Jared are single in this. You both catch the guys attention and things go from there.

Pairing: Jensen x reader, Jared x readers best friend

Word Count: 2774

Warning: Romance, fluff

This is my first attempt at fan fic so if it sucks I apologise! All comments gratefully received

It was finally here. You and F/N have been waiting months for the Supernatural convention and have managed to book a room in the same hotel it’s being held in for the whole weekend. You are both obsessed with the show. You have lost count of the amount of times you have fantasized about Jensen Ackles. The way his hands would feel on your skin, how he would smell and how your name would sound coming from those perfect lips. This was going to be a weekend to remember.

It had taken you a long time and many outfit changes to decide what you were going to wear. Finally you made your mind up and went for your trusty tight fitting Levi’s, a black bodysuit with lace sleeves, black knee high boots with 4 inch stiletto heels and cropped leather biker jacket. You had your hair dyed the deep shade of red you knew suited you and your 80’s rock chick makeup was down to a fine art.

Waiting at the train station with F/N, you can’t contain your excitement. You feel like a child on Christmas morning.

‘Fuck F/N! I can’t believe we are really going to see them in the flesh! I just know I’m gonna do something stupid in front of Jensen though. You know what I’m like!’

‘Yep Y/N, you are pretty clumsy but I’m pretty sure they are going to be way too busy to take any notice of us anyway. Can you imagine how many other people are going to be there?’ said F/N.

Your heart sinks when you realise all the effort you put into your outfit and make up will no doubt be for nothing, but you can’t let the boys see you without at least trying to look good.

The train pulls up and you and F/N board. It’s only a 20 minute journey and you could have easily come home rather than fork out £120 for a room, but you didn’t want to miss any part of the convention and the last train was at 10.20pm.

You arrive at the hotel and check into your room. Glancing at your watch you see it’s 11.30am, and the Q&A with the cast starts at 12pm so you and F/N just have time to unpack your cases, touch up your makeup, and spray some perfume. You take one last glance at your reflection ‘You're going to knock them dead Y/N’ you whisper.

Leaving the room you make your way to the lifts. Following the signs through reception, you enter a huge function room with what must be 1,000 chairs and the same amount of people milling about. There is a stage at the front of the room, with stools, microphones and a guitar setup. Your heart is beating a tattoo in your chest and you feel like you’re finding it hard to breath you’re that excited.

‘Quick Y/N,’ says F/N ‘There are two chairs right at the front!’ She grabs your hand and with a determined shove, pushes through the crowd. You reach the chairs just as two other girls get to them. Being her usual feisty self F/N dives in front of them glaring up at them, ‘I don’t think so!’ she hisses and plonks herself down, pulling you onto the other chair giggling as the girls slink away.

Getting yourself comfortable you pull out the itenary for the weekend. Other cast members are going to be answering questions, but you are only really interested in the boys. You have your ticket ready for the photo opportunity with them, and can’t wait for the moment you finally get to interact with Jensen. The talk from others who have met him is that he is much taller in real life than he seems on TV. That's why you wore heels in case it's true. You stand at 5ft without them, so that you don't want to look like a proper short arse beside him. And with Jared being 6ft 4 you would look even more ridiculous without heels. Luckily F/N is 5ft 8 with a body like a supermodel so she is going to look amazing next to Jared.

F/N grabs your hand and squeezes it, smiling broadly at you as the lights go down. Richard Speight Jr and Rob Benedict, the MC’s walk onto the stage.

One by one they introduce a few of the Supernatural cast. With thunderous applause, Jim Beaver, Ruth Connell, Mark Sheppard and Samantha Smith take to the stage, and entertain the crowd, answering questions and telling stories about each other. Finally, even though you have really enjoyed hearing them speak, it is time for the main attraction.

Your heart starts thumping and you feel your palms getting clammy when Richard announces ‘And now for the moment you have all been waiting for! Please welcome Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki!’

F/N starts squealing ‘Oh My God’ over and over again grabbing your arm. This is it! You’re finally going to see him!

And there he is. All 6ft 1 of him. Broad chest and shoulders, dressed in tight blue jeans, plaid shirt and cowboy boots. You have never seen anyone so beautiful in your entire life. Your heart literally stops and your breath catches in your throat.

Jensen looks around the room smiling and waving, and his eyes glance past you. His head swings back. Amazing green eyes meet yours. He grins straight at you and your stomach falls into your feet. Wait...did that really just happen? Did he pick you out from the crowd or was it just wishful thinking? You look behind you, thinking he must have been distracted by someone or something else, but when you turn back towards the stage those eyes are still staring at you. With a shy, almost coy smile, he lowers his eyes and turns away.

You spin around to look at F/N but she is mesmerised, staring at Jared. Her mouth hangs open, eyes shining. You have to admit, he is a very good looking guy, but nothing compared to Jensen. You’re still not sure what just happened with him. Could he really have been looking at you?

‘Don’t be stupid,’ you tell yourself, ‘there are hundreds of people in this room, why would he be looking at you!?’

You realise you’re not actually taking in anything that’s going on on the stage as you are so caught up in your own little fantasy, so you snap yourself out of it, and get your head back in the room. The boys are sitting on the stools, microphones in hand poised for questions. A plethora of shouts come from the crowd, so Jensen raises his hand, causing the room to fall silent.

‘Good evening Manchester!’ he says and bows followed by Jared. ‘Let’s crack on with the questions’

As you are at the front of the auditorium you have the best view of the boys. Questions come from people all around you, about Supernatural, their relationship with each other, other casts members and their personal lives.

‘Yes we are both single,’ Jared answers which raises a woop from the crowd.

F/N nudges you and winks ‘I swear Jensen is looking at you!’ nodding her head towards him. You glance up, and sure enough, those mesmerising eyes meet yours. You hold his gaze, smiling slightly, and tilt your head to the side. You can feel your cheeks start to redden but are determined not to be the first one to look away.

Just then, Jared starts nudging him, ‘Hey buddy! Cat got your tongue?!’

He turns away, smirking, but not before slowly licking those incredible plump lips. F/N almost loses it, gripping your hand whispering, ‘He is totally flirting with you I’m telling you!’

‘Don’t be mental!’ you tell her, laughing, but inside your shaking. Is he? No, he can’t be?

The questions keep on coming until Jensen picks up the guitar. There is an audible hush around the room when he starts to play. His fingers move quickly and deftly over the strings and you recognise the song. It’s ‘Love Walked In’ by Thunder. He slowly raises his head to the microphone, looks you straight in the eye and starts to sing.

‘So tired of waiting I walked an empty land

I was looking for something to help me understand

But bad luck kept turning my dreams into sand

I didn't want pity, I had my share of friends

I wanted somebody more special than the rest

I was aching inside like I was approaching the end

Just about that moment the timing was so right

You appeared like a vision sent down to my life

I thought I was dreaming when I saw you that night

That's when love walked in through my door

That familiar feeling I had once before

love walked in through my door

And it felt so strange’

You stare intently at him the whole time he is singing. The look on his face and the sparkle in his eyes makes you realise that you haven’t been imagining it. It’s as though you are the only two people in the room. You are certain that time has stopped and your lungs fail to take in deep breaths.

All too soon the song ends to huge applause. Jensen finally averts his gaze from yours and puts the guitar back on its stand.

‘Thank you so much!’ he says bowing ‘hopefully see you at the photo opportunity!’ The boys leave the stage, both of them glancing over their shoulders straight at you and F/N.

‘What the fuck just happened then!’ F/N yells throwing her arms around you in tight hug. ‘That man wants you Y/N. He didn’t stop staring at you the whole time he was singing! It’s as though he was undressing you with his eyes!’

Could she be right? All sorts of thoughts are flying around your brain. He probably does this all the time. Chooses someone in the crowd to make feel good for those few moments, then moves on to the next girl.

F/N looks at her watch,‘Come on Y/N. The photo opp with the boys is starting now. I can’t wait to get my hands on Jared!’

You and F/N rush through the throng of people to a side room where quite a crowd has gathered. You sigh, knowing it’s going to be a long wait for you to see Jensen again. The queue seems to go on forever and you can feel yourself getting more and more impatient. After what feels like an eternity, you can finally see them. Laughing and smiling with fans, camera flashes going off all around. F/N sequels, clapping her hands together. ‘Almost there Y/N!’

It’s your turn. Jensen has his back to you, a glass of water in his hand. He turns, and spots you waiting. His beautiful face lights up, lips turning into the biggest smile and he beckons you over. You can hardly move your legs they are shaking so much, but you manage to put one foot in front of the other and walk over to him.

‘Hey!’ He says, his 6ft 1 frame huge compared to yours. You catch a faint whiff of his aftershave and he smells incredible.

“H-hi." you stutter, closing your eyes tightly as you silently curse yourself for your nerves.

‘What’s your name?’ he asks beaming at you.

‘I’m Y/N and this is F/N.’ Gesturing to your friend, but she is completely distracted by Jared who is already engaged in a full blown conversation with her.

‘Y/N,’ he says quietly in his deep, sexy voice. Wow! It sounded even better than you ever imagined when you had fantasised about this moment. ‘I saw you in the crowd, you were sat at the front right?’ He asks.

‘Yes,’ you reply, ‘And you sang one of my favorite songs!’

‘I could tell by looking at you that you would be a rock chick,’ he responds, eyes travelling down your body, back up to your face, ‘girl after my own heart.’

You swallow hard, not quite believing you are having this conversation with him. ‘Look’ he says, putting his arm around you and pulling you towards him. He looks around conspiratorially, ‘I hate the fact we only get a few minutes to chat to everyone, and this is really not something I would normally do, but I can’t leave this town not having gotten to know you a little bit better.’

Your heart stops then quickly picks up its beat again. ‘Well, we are here for the weekend so if you have any down time....’ you say confidently, although inside you have turned to jelly.

Jensen turns away, reaches for a piece of paper and a pen, ‘Write your number down, quickly, before they move you long,’ he chuckles, handing them to you. You do as he asks. The photographer is growing impatient, so Jensen whispers 'How about photo of us?’ and slides his arm around your waist. You reach behind him and silently slip the paper with your number on into the back pocket of his jeans. You feel the swell of his fantastic ass under your hand as you do so and are amazed at how wonderful it feels.

He looks at you and winks, understanding what you have just done, and places his hand on your face, turning you to look at him just as the camera goes off. You smirk up at him, staring into his eyes, hoping this moment could last forever.

‘Can I text you later?’ he husks. All you can do is nod. He gives you a quick hug and steps away from you. You feel F/N grab your arm,shouting ‘Thanks guys you are amazing!’ as she pulls you away.

‘You are not going to believe what just happened!’ F/N squeals, jumping up and down on the spot.

‘Jared asked for your number?’ you ask.

‘How did you know?’

‘Because Jensen asked for mine too!’ You grin as you say it, still not believing it just happened ‘Don’t get too excited though,’ you warn F/N, ‘it doesn’t mean to say they will contact us.’

‘Come on,’ you say to F/N, ‘Let’s check out the expedition hall. I’m starving and there are food and drink stands there. Let’s grab something to eat.’

You're not really that hungry, but need to do something to occupy yourself and after that encounter with Jensen, you need some sugar. You make your way towards the hall, and wander around trying to decide what to get. There’s plenty on offer, and decide on a pancake with maple syrup, and a Diet Coke, hoping it will calm the butterflies that are zooming around in your stomach. F/N heads off to find somewhere to sit as you go to the stand to place your orders.

Tray in hand, you make your way through the crowd to the table she has found. Dropping down into the seat opposite F/N, you take a small bite of your food. It’s delicious, but your mouth is so dry you find it hard to swallow. You take a sip of the Diet Coke, and try to relax.

The first few bars of ‘Back in Black’ alerts you that you have a text, so you pull your phone from your back pocket.

‘Fucking hell!’ You almost drop it when you see the message. Jensen has actually texted you! What the fuck!? How are you going to respond?

‘Nnnooooo,’ F/N yells snatching the phone off you, almost choking on her pancake. ‘Oh my God Y/N. Answer him!’

You take the phone back off her and hand shaking, type a message back. The responses come thick and fast.

#dean winchester #supernatural #multi chapter #interactive reader fiction #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles #supernatural smut #supernatural fanfiction #submission

[starting-now]

Small (Barry x Reader)

Summary: You write a song about Barry, but you never intended for him to hear it.

Word Count: 1967

Warnings: none?

------------

You sat at your desk, humming to yourself trying to perfect the melody. You stopped for a moment to scratch out a chord and replace it with another, strumming your ukulele to make sure it fit well. You smiled to yourself as the melody flowed out more naturally and smoothly. You knew no one would probably ever hear this song, especially not the guy that it was about, but you still loved writing music and were particularly happy with this one.

Because You

Because You

You finished the new song and let the last chord ring out. Putting your ukulele down you glanced over at the clock. ‘Oh shit’  you thought. You were gonna be late for class. You hastily shoved the paper into the side pocket of your bag and slung it over your shoulder, grabbing your keys and rushing out the door.

-

You got to class with only a couple minutes to spare. You parked and got out of your car, speed-walking to the theater door. Walking into the theater, you glanced around for your usual seat as you crossed the floor in front of the stage, but when you turned back forward you ran directly into someone. You fell backwards, hitting the floor. You looked up to see Barry with a shocked and concerned expression.

“Oh my god, (Y/N) I’m so sorry are you okay?” he asked, extending a hand for you. You blushed furiously, taking his hand and clumsily getting to your feet.

“Oh, um yeah. I’m so sorry. That was so stupid.” you responded tripping over your words.

Barry smiled shyly and let go of your hand. He wanted to say something more but he couldn’t get any words to come out. You looked so beautiful, as usual, and he felt a disconnect between his brain and his mouth.

“So, you, uh ready for class?” he asked.

‘Really? Ready for class? That’s what you ask her?’ he thought and mentally kicked himself for being so awkward.

You smiled and nodded, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“Yeah, are you?” you returned the question.

He only had time to nod before Gene walked out onstage. You two quickly found seats in the theater as the class clapped for Mr.Cousineau. He started class, explaining what you would be doing that day, guiding you through scenes, but all you could think about was how close Barry was sitting next to you, his knee almost brushing yours. Or how you couldn’t keep your eyes from trailing down his form when he was on stage performing a scene.

You didn’t know what it was about him or why you were always so happy yet so nervous to be around him. You were distracted for almost all of class, feeling childish but smiling nonetheless.

Towards the end of class you were able to shake the thoughts from your head so you could focus on what Gene was saying as he sat down on the edge of the stage.

“So, what I’m gonna need from you all for next class is- wait a minute what is this?” he interrupted himself and stepped off the stage. He bent down and picked up a piece of paper, unfolding it.

Your eyes widened and you inhaled sharply. You grabbed your bag and felt in the side pocket where you put your song lyrics. It wasn’t there. Barry glanced at you and furrowed his brow, wondering what was wrong.

“Well, well, well,” Gene started, looking over the paper, “Seems we have a songwriter in our midst. Who’s is it?” he asked and you swallowed harshly.

“Come on now, don’t be shy.” he prompted again. You kept your mouth shut, praying he would move on.

“Alright, guess I’m just gonna have to read it for the class.” he said and you stood up reflexively.

“No! Um, sorry, i-it’s mine.” you admitted and Gene smiled.

“Now was that so hard?” he shrugged and you smiled sheepishly.

“Alright,” he started again and you breathed a sigh of relief that he was finally moving on. “Well, let’s hear it!” he finished.

What? He couldn’t be serious.

“I’m sorry what?” you asked

“I said let’s hear it! I find out that one of my students is a songwriter and I’m not supposed to support that? Come on, what kind of teacher would I be?” he asked. You shook your head.

“I mean, I don’t even have my ukulele with me so I guess I can’t.” you smiled, hoping he would finally drop the subject. He clapped his hands together.

“You know what? I think I have one backstage from when I auditioned for a part on New Girl. Thought it might impress Zooey Deschanel.” he said and walked backstage for minute, reappearing with a ukulele in hand.

You were pretty sure you were gonna throw up as Gene ushered you onstage. You wondered if there was any way to fake your own death at this exact moment and never come to class again. You arrived on stage and Gene handed you the ukulele and your song lyrics. Your song, that you never intended anyone to hear. Your song that you especially never intended for Barry to hear. You had never felt more stage fright in your life. Gene took a seat in the audience and you looked everywhere except at Barry.

“Go ahead, whenever you’re ready.” Gene said with a smile.

You took a deep breath and with shaky hands, you began strumming.

(small - chloe moriondo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH_ARnYS0EU )

Something about you escapes me

I’ve lost my charm

Something about me is see-through

I can’t do no more harm

Anymore

You sang and heard your voice and instrument fill the room. You kept your eyes shut for the first verse, but you could still feel the eyes of everyone in class on you. Especially one particular set of eyes.

I can take the dizzy daydreams, I think they are fine

But I’m not used to dealing with feeling like I’m wasting your time

Oh

Barry was mesmerized. He didn’t listen to a lot of music but he was sure your voice was the most beautiful he’d ever heard. He couldn’t get enough of it, soaking in each note.

And suddenly I'm not interested in whatever the rest of the world has to offer so

I drown face-down in my head and feel my state start to alter 'cause you

Because you

You finally opened your eyes, scanning the faces of your classmates, before finally landing on Barry. You felt your breath hitch between lyrics, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of him even if you wanted to.

I can try to shake off the stupid

'Cause it shouldn’t be that hard

But when I start movin'

I begin to think about your stars

Oh

And it's not like I’m not familiar with dullin' myself to tepid

But I’ve never cared so much about avoiding overstepping

And when I think about you I forget about my hands

And all I hear are dancing girls and snapping rubber bands

And you don’t know what that means

You were singing directly to Barry now. You simply couldn’t help it. Your gaze would stray every now and then but it always made its way back and settled on him. The song was made for him after all. You had fantasized often about telling him how you felt, but this was never one of the scenarios that filled your brain.

But I'm suddenly not interested in whatever the rest of the world has to offer so

Despite my ticks and buzzes

I'll listen to you whenever you're feeling low

Promise I won't interrupt 'cause

My breath ends up catching whenever I hear you speak

Endlessly try to make you smile 'cause

Whenever I see it my knees always get so

Weak

Barry felt his face heat up under your gaze. He knew you were a talented actor, but this, this was on another level entirely. Were you staring at him on purpose? He shook the thought from his head because of course you weren’t. You couldn’t be.

Mmm

Mmm

Mmm

Mmm

Because you

Because you

You finished the song and let the final chord ring out, the nervousness returning to your stomach making you feel queasy. There was a short silence before the class erupted into applause. You smiled shyly at them and Gene got up from his seat, walking towards you.

“Well I think I speak for myself and the entire class when I say: wow, now that is a hidden talent!” he said and clapped once again.

“Alright everyone, I think that’s a great place to end class for the day. I will see you all next time.” he announced. You handed him the ukulele you had borrowed and he walked off stage towards his office. You stayed, sitting on the edge of the stage, as your fellow actors left the room.

“Great job!” Natalie said, shooting you a smile.

“That was awesome!” Sally added, giving a thumbs up.

You thanked them both, and the few other classmates who praised you. Everyone filtered out of the room until you and Barry were the only ones left. He got up from his seat and nervously approached you.

“That was, I mean, wow.” he said. You blushed.

“Um, thanks.” you responded, a soft smile tugging your lips.

“I mean it. That was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sing before.” he said, looking down at his shoes.

“No one really has I guess.” you said and he shook his head.

“That’s a shame, you’re really good. Like, really, really good.” he said.

“Thank you, Barry. That’s really sweet of you to say.” you responded and Barry felt the heat rise to his cheeks again.

There was an awkward silence.

“Who, um, who’s it about?” he asked, flinching at the awkward question and wishing he could take it back or, at the very least, disappear completely.

You were taken aback by his question. You were pretty sure you were gonna throw up again. You twisted your fingers together nervously, staring down at your lap.

“...You, actually.” you admitted. Barry looked up at you with a shocked expression.

“What?” he asked incredulously.

You blinked harshly and shook your head.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t wanna make things awkward and now I’ve made them literally as awkward as-” you began but Barry interrupted.

“What you just sang up here, just now, that was a song that you wrote... for me?” he asked. Your cheeks burned. Was he trying to humiliate you?

“Yep.” you said quietly. Another awkward silence. You continued staring down at your lap and fidgeting.

Against his better judgement, Barry closed the space between you, placing a hand underneath your chin and gently lifting your head up so his lips could connect to yours. You gasped at the contact, then melted into the kiss completely. His hand moved to your cheek before finding its way into your hair. You tilted your head to deepen the kiss, your arms snaking over his broad shoulders. His lips sent a tingling sensation throughout your entire body, and your soft lips against his sent shivers down his spine. The kiss was finally broken, but your hands stayed on each other.

“No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.” Barry almost whispered, his eyes searching yours desperately.

“Yea, well they should have.” you responded, a blush gracing your cheeks.

“You really feel those things...about me?” he asked and you nodded sheepishly. A gentle smile grew on his face.

“Yeah. Do you, um, feel the same?” you asked hesitantly. Barry responded by pressing another gentle kiss to your lips.

“Exactly.”

------

Taglist: @moon-390

#barry x reader #barry hbo #Barry Berkman #barry block #barry berkman x reader #barry block x reader #barry berkman fanfiction #barry block fanfiction #bill hader #im sorry bill hader

[ksj-com]

The Purge Night-

Gunpoint

- Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

- Genre: ThePurge!AU, Hitman!AU, violence, smut, gore

- Warnings/Tags: pre-meditated murder, dark web hitman mention, (kind of?) slow burn, killing, fantasizing about ripping out someones diaphragm, soft Hoseok, crying reader, eventual smut, fucking over a kitchen counter, light spanking, marking hickeys 

- Word Count: 3649 words

- Summary: There are a lot of black market jobs that really come to life during the purge— including hiring a hitman. When Hoseok sees his target for tonight, will he pull the trigger or make an exception for you?

|| Masterlist ||

A/N: Thank you to my bestfriend Jasmin (aka @pjm-com) for writing out my idea for this story for me because my mentality to do ANYTHING today was not having it. If you like this story, check out her writings because they are amazing 

     Hoseok was excited for tonight, something he could feel in his veins weeks before the actual day came. He spent the prior hours preparing his weapons for that night to keep him alive, and that thought alone made him laugh. He was untouchable. He wasn’t marked by anyone else, but he was known to be dangerous in every way possible which meant work would be heavy in the towns over. The towns who had never seen his face, who hadn’t experienced him standing over someone about to blow out their brains.

     On purge night, there were two types of services that people could order. A protection service, in which someone would be posted outside your house to keep the crazy killers outside. There was another service as well, but it was highly illegal and fortunately for Hoseok, it was his full time job. Even sitting at his computer now, he’s searching through his e-mails on targets he has to kill before the week is up and oddly enough there is only one scheduled for tonight. A sick twisted smile forms on his face as he realizes that, he can take his time with you tonight. He could make it as quick as he wanted, or watch them die painfully tonight. 

     “This poor mother fucker,” he says as he leans back in his chair as he sipped on some alcohol. He’s already thought of five ways he can obliterate the body, man or women, he didn’t care. He could cut the sternum right under the chest plate and flip the diaphragm back, watching them struggle to breath without the main supporting muscle. But he’d save his sick fantasies for later before he gets too excited, and opens the e-mail. No specific information, no specific way to kill, just an address and a photo was all he needed to get the job done. Turning off his computer, he gets up and goes down into a secret room and is flicking the lights on to reveal an armory that he keeps just for his job. It paid in heaps of cash, which was why he had the best weapons known to man, some he’s been saving for special occasions.

     He moves towards the room with familiarity, knowing where everything is as he pulls out a bag that he’s had ready for weeks now. Unrolling the small bundle, Hoseok spreads it out on the table to show two of his favorite weapons. The Ruger SR40c which had its own silencer. It was one of the most dangerous handguns out there and he was honored to have it in his possession, right next to a needle that he can inject into her jugular vein to paralyze her. With confidence, he brings the gun into his view before putting it in his stomach holster that keeps the gun strapped to his back, before pocketing the needle. He’s leaving the room quickly to walk into the main portion of his house and shut it down for the night. He lived in a penthouse on the seventh floor of a large building in the city so he was not worried at all about someone waiting for him to get home. 

     In no time he’s pulling the work address up on maps and making his way down to his car in the parking garage, a black Cadillac that has aided him through many drive-by shootings. He gets into the car and immediately locks the doors out of habit before setting his phone on a mount and pulling out of there. Lucky for him, the house was one in the suburbs not even five minutes from here and given the timestamp in the information file, as he pulls up to the office building and spots his target getting into her car. 

     You hadn’t even seen him following you, and he’s already suspected you’re an idiot— case in point. He’s following you a few cars back to the house that looks nicer than he expected. He wasn’t usually supposed to ask questions on the job, but why would someone want you dead? Pushing the thoughts out of his head, he decides to turn off the main road and find a spot to park in the woods near your house. He could climb in the window when it was safe and slit your throat, or do something else if his mind thought it up. He watches you walk into your house, eyes over your shoulder every few minutes and the clock on his wrist tells him that it’s five minutes till the alarm is supposed to sound. He gets out of his car and starts treading through the thistle and branches to arrive at the edge of the forest right in front of your house. 

     His instincts kick in as he drops to his knees, another figure dressed in a suit and tie just like him, walking up to your house. Hoseok felt anger bubble in his chest. This was his kill, his money, and before he can plan on torturing the other hitman, a thought racks his mind. You fucking idiot, he thinks. That’s not a hitman, but a protection agent and it was like the devil had put this glorious opportunity right into his hands. He takes his gun out of the holster, glad that the agent had chosen to park far away, so it would make it easier for Hoseok to drag his body away. He’s lifting up the Ruger, aiming straight at his head, and he’s thanking the heavens for his silencer because within a split second the man is collapsing to the ground with a hole in his head. 

     Scanning the area, he doesn’t see a soul so Hoseok decides to move quickly since you’re already inside your house. He drags the agent back to his car after searching his body for any documents of concrete evidence that he was assigned to her house. After finding nothing, he shuts the car door and turns to her house before walking the same path the agent had moments ago. His knuckles knock on your door formally, a smile on his features as you open the door with wide eyes. “Miss Y/N?” He calls, extending his hand. You take it cautiously before nodding. 

     “Yes, that’s me. Are you my agent?” Hoseok nods and she’s ready to open the door to let him in before her eyes are fixed on something behind his shoulder. He turns around ready to whip out his pistol before he sees a toddler running from a girl’s car, whom he could only assume to be his nanny, up the stairs and to his mother. She coos at him happily, swinging him up in her arms and planting kisses all over his face. Hoseok can’t help but crack a smile at how happy you both looked together. A happiness he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

     “Hey sport, how was day camp?” He decides to do an outside perimeter check right as the alarm sounds, the boring speech filling his ears. Before rounding himself back inside to meet you guys eating at the dinner table. It must’ve been leftovers since he’d only been outside for all of six minutes, but your kid was chowing down either way. She turns to Hoseok, a soft smile on her face and he can tell she’s tired and worn out, and a little hint of fear lies in her eyes. He’s upset for a second, that he’d be leaving this kid without a mother since the contract only instructed you. He mentally slaps himself in the face. He’s here to kill you, not feel sorry for you. “Would you like any?”

     He shakes his head, putting his hands up. “No thank you, Miss. I already ate. Sit there and enjoy it, I’ll protect you.” She nods and continues to eat, making small talk with her kid about his day. Hoseok tunes it out, because he knows if he pays too much attention to it, he’ll start freaking out. It took him years to get over the death of his wife and kid. Five long years and he’s still scrambling to put his heart back into his chest. 

     He decides to watch the front door while they eat, and she’s getting him ready for bed. He’s doing a check of the halls and the bedrooms trying to find a place that he could hide in plain sight for later. While he’s in her bedroom, looking out her window to make sure no one was haunting the streets before he hears a soft hiccup behind him. You shut your door after tucking in your son, sobbing into your hands before your eyes are wide open at his figure in your room. 

     “Hey, I was just looking out your window to make sure no one’s waiting to ambush you… everything okay?” He asks in the softest voice possible. You look like you’re about to break apart right in his view and before he can ask again, you’re pressed into his chest crying. He short circuits with you in his arms, and he does the first thing he can think of which is holding you closer and sit on the bed. “Hey, it’s okay to let it out.. what’s wrong?” You’re gasping for air in his chest, hiccuping every so often as he rubs your back in rhythmic circles. 

     “It’s just.. my son.. He’s my everything and I’m barely s-scraping by to take care of him,” you sob and he sits there listening. “My fiancé was killed in the purge three years ago and it’s just been so hard without him.” Hoseok feels a jab of pain in his heart at your words. It’s something he knows very well, a pain he felt every night for the past five years.

     “That must be hard.. My wife and kid died in the purge as well, five years ago and that’s why I do what I do today.” He lies a little. The real reason he kills is because he has revenge for the world, cause he’s mad at the world. He screams at the stars every chance he gets, tears in his eyes asking God why he took the only thing keeping him going. They never respond back. Maybe they never will. “I want to protect people to make sure no more loved ones get killed in these sadistic games.” She offers a small hum as an answer, pulling away to wipe her tears before quietly apologizing. 

     “It’s just. I can’t protect him, not like you could. Please, keep him safe.” She’s begging him, tears in her eyes and streaming down her face. Maybe Hoseok breaks in that moment, a small piece of the wall he’s built is crumbling right now. He nods, thumb reaching up to push the tears away. “Even if you have to sacrifice my life over his, please make sure he’s safe.” Hoseok makes a promise to not touch a hair on that child’s head, no matter what happens tonight. He lets you lay in his chest as your breathing slows, and to his surprise you’re asleep within minutes. 

     Setting you straight on your bed, he makes sure you’re warm and cozy before shutting the door and sighing. It kills him on the inside but he walks into your boy’s room, and watches him for a while. He babbles in his sleep, a few words that Hoseok can’t understand. One does tear him a new one, your son mumbling ‘dad’ in his sleep. Hoseok can’t stay any longer but he vows to protect this kid his life if it’s the last thing he does. Pushing the thoughts out of his head, he goes downstairs to check all the doors and windows but the street stays surprisingly empty. That didn’t matter, because the killer was on the inside. 

     Now, as he sits and watches TV comfortably in your home, he wonders if he’ll be able to do it. Kill you in your sleep after you just cried in his arms. After he realizes you guys share the same pain, he won’t know if he has the heart. If he declines the job, he’ll be fired but maybe it’s worth it. A couple hours pass and it’s nighttime now, and Hoseok decides to go up to your room, to watch you for a while. You twist and turn in your sleep and as he inches closer, he’s afraid to wake you up. He kneels at your bedside, needle in his hand but he hasn’t removed it from his pocket. Your face is soft and free of stress lines as it rests against your pillow, hair fanned out against the sheets. The stains of your tears are evident on your face and it takes everything in his power to not wipe the remaining residue away. 

     Before he gets too far, your eyes open lazily before fixating on his figure. You don’t flinch cause you have great faith in how well he would be able to protect you, and you end up offering him a small smile. “Is everything alright?”  As if on cue, her kid starts crying and you’re suddenly on high alert.

     “He’s fine, he’s fine,” Hoseok calms you down instantly since he’s sure no ones in the house. He watches the look in your eyes return to normal and he fights internally with himself. “I’m sure a bad dream or something. Go check on him, I’m going to use the bathroom, okay?” You nod and he steps aside to let you tend to your kid while he slinks into the nearest restroom. He’s honestly nervous right now as he splashes water onto his face. He’s killed people without any mercy, and he’s wondering why the hell he can’t do it. Why he wants to stay outside your door and protect you every night. He opens the window once he decides that he can’t do it, and chucks the needle as far as he can away from the house. After slamming it shut, he pulls out his phone and deletes any trace of himself on the profile as much as he can in that time amount. He texts one of his close friends, asking him to wipe all his accounts clean before he steps into the hall. 

     After seeing your son asleep and your bed empty, he decides to trail downstairs and he spots you in the kitchen with your arms crossed as you wait for the coffee to be done brewing. He joins you in the kitchen and you guys sit in silence for a little bit. “Would you like a cup?” Hoseok nods and you pour him one, pushing the creamer and sugar towards him before making one of your own. 

     “You’re not going back to bed?” He exhales, and you shake your head. 

     “I wanna stay up with you. I can never sleep on nights like these, and I want to be awake should anything happen.. if that’s okay.” Hoseok nods and mixes the cream and sugar together before taking a drink. You sit at the island with your coffee in hand, as you sip from it momentarily. “Sorry for dumping all of that on you.. That’s not professional.” Hoseok shakes his head, leaning against the counter that you were sitting at. 

     “Don’t be. It’s good to know at least someone shares my grief.”

     You laugh softly at that before you exhale, shrugging. “I don’t know.. It’s just been so long since I’ve had a man in my house, or even someone to talk to. To hold me. It’s different, it’s not something I’ve had in a while.” Hoseok nods, looking at you, hyper aware of everything you do from flickering your eyes back and forth from his own and his lips, to your fingertips idly playing with each other on the table. Something in Hoseok snaps and he pushes his face forward to kiss you, something that almost makes him laugh. He was planning on killing you tonight, and here he is kissing you over your counter.

     He’s surprised as you kiss him back with fire, the same amount he had given you. He pulls away, your foreheads together as he laughs into your mouth, kissing you again before pulling away entirely. “I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I shouldn’t have done that.” You shrug as you get up, rounding the corner of the island before running your hands up his chest. He’s watching you with lust and fire as you shake your head.

     “It’s okay..” You were feeling some sort of way with him, and maybe it was desperation or lust but you wanted him. “This is the first attention I’ve had in three years.” His hands are on your hips as he pulls you closer into his chest, no restraint as he kisses you again. Your hands are around his neck in an instant, pulling your faces closer as you kissed him hungrily, wanting to diminish all space between your chests. “Just touch me,” you mumble and his last rope of control snaps as he grabs your thighs and sets you on the counter, pushing his dick into your core. You moan against his lips at how fast this was happening but you couldn’t care less as his hands are pushing your shirt up and over your head. He’s feeling your hips and your back while you’re undoing his tie, throwing it to the floor before working on his buttons. 

     Hoseok’s mind is spinning as he’s unhooking your bra and discarding that to the floor as well with his shirt too. Your tongue is licking up into his mouth which he takes the opportunity to lightly suck on it, making your legs tremble as you feel yourself getting more wet. “God, you’re just perfect,” he groans as he picks you up again and sets you down on the ground, one last hungry kiss to your lips before turning you around. “Gonna fuck you real good over the counter.” You whine in approval and push your pajama pants and underwear down in one go, kicking them around your feet while Hoseok’s working on his buttons. 

     “Hurry,” you breathe, and within seconds you feel the head pushing into you making your head drop into your arms. He doesn’t start out slow, and you thank god for the stamina he has gifted this man because he’s pounding into your pussy hard. “Holy shit,” you moan, your voice bouncing with each thrust into you while his hands grabbing handfuls of your ass. You’ve been so touched starved that you could cum right now if you think about it, but you wanted this to last as long as you could keep it. Hoseok’s bent over your figure, hips shoving you against the counter tops as he’s kissing your spine and marking your shoulders by biting and sucking wherever he could. 

     “You’re really fucking tight,” he growls giving your ass a playful smack and you moan into your own hand, careful not to wake your son. He’s not giving up, if anything he’s moaning louder into your ear as he picks up the pace, thrusting harder into you reaching spots that are making your toes curl into the floor. 

     “O-oh fuck.” You whine, eyes screwing shut as you slam back into his cock so he’d reach farther in you. That earns louder groans from the both of you, and his thrusts are getting sloppier by the second while your stomach is convulsing in pleasure. “I think I’m gonna come soon..”

     Hoseok hums in agreement, growling loudly as he starts to speed up, getting louder. “F-fuck me too.. I wanted to last longer but holy hell,” he whines. With one more slap to your ass, you’re cumming on his cock, clenching around him with a loud cry. Soon enough he fucks you through your high, and he’s cumming inside you, filling you up as he’s moaning into your ear. “Fuuuuck.” He drags it out, chest heaving as he pulls out of you and watches his cum drip from your pussy. He doesn’t hesitate to turn you around, pulling you into a kiss that was filled with passion. One you could feel when his lips first touched yours. 

     You both laugh embarrassed as you pull away, Hoseok cleaning you guys both up as you pull your clothes back on a little awkwardly. Hoseok wanted to stay here. Fuck his penthouse, fuck his job. He had enough money to support you and your boy if he’d give you a chance. He kisses your lips again, holding you close as you’re smiling into his lips. You guys make your way to the living room so he can keep an eye on you, a movie on the TV. No one really says anything for awhile until you speak up, voice wavering.

     “Maybe you’d want to protect me next year too? And the year after that?” Your voice is uncertain, and Hoseok’s eyes are wide as he looks down at you. He presses his lips against yours again, softly before he’s nodding against your forehead. 

     “Of course I will.. for however many years you’ll have me, I’ll stay.” 

     Hoseok found the last pieces of his heart he was scrambling for, something to fill the void. His heart was overflowing in competition now that he had you, and had a little boy that he could protect too. As you lay there in his arms asleep while he watches the windows, he plays with your hair gently as he thinks. Now he can stop screaming at the stars, because the motivation to keep going lies in his lap.

#bangtan seonyeondan #bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts imagines #Jung HoSeok #hoseok #jhope #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jung hoseok x reader #hoseok x reader #jhope x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader

[onestowatch]

Gia Woods on Finding Her Identity Through Music [Q&A]

Gia Woods is taking the LGBTQ community by storm. Through her music, she’s inspiring many from the community to embrace their own identity. Growing up in a strict Persian household, Woods struggled to find herself. But through music, she was able to express herself in ways she never thought were possible. She released her debut single, “Only a Girl”, in 2016. The song served as her coming out song. Since then, Woods has been a voice to many going through the trial and tribulations of finding their true identity. 

 We were fortunate enough to get to know Gia Woods a little better with the release of her brand new single, “Naive”. From what she’s been up to during quarantine, to her experience with The Calvin Klein Pride campaign, she let us into her amazing life.

 Ones To Watch: First off, how are you doing during all of this craziness?

Gia Woods: I just spent the past 30 minutes cracking an egg on my forehead for TikTok content, so you tell me. Jokes aside, I’m actually doing okay though. I’ve been writing a lot. It feels very familiar because it reminds me of when I was younger and would lock myself in my room and write songs on my guitar all day. I was a loner!

What have you been doing to pass the time during quarantine? 

I haven’t been watching too much Netflix, but I did rewatch Madonna’s Truth or Dare documentary the other day. It actually pulled me out of a creative funk, watching this strong badass in one of the biggest moments of her career. Other than that, I’ve definitely been going on more walks. This pandemic has really made me appreciate the smaller things.

Who has been putting out some of your favorite music during quarantine? What have been your jams?

There’s been so much good music to come out these past couple months, but I’ve actually found myself revisiting my old CD collection. I’ve been listening to Nelly Furtado’s Loose, Green Day’s Dookie and Queen’s Night at the Opera a lot.

Have you been doing a lot of writing during your time inside?

Of course! I’m a writer, so that’s one of the best ways for me to keep my brain busy. By the time we’re out of quarantine, I’m going to have like five full albums written!

What are some of your hopes that everyone can take away from our time of social distancing, staying home, being with family, etc.? (i.e keeping the planet cleaner, appreciating family more, etc.)

There’s definitely been more of an appreciation of the smaller things in life that we take for granted, whether it’s phone calls with friends or getting out and appreciating nature. I also think this time has forced people to be more creative! I’m so inspired seeing the way people are creating some really cool stuff while they're alone.

 Can you tell us a bit about The Calvin Klein Pride campaign and it meant for you to be a part of it? 

So, I actually have a crazy story… A year ago, I released a music video for my song “New Girlfriend,” and when we were brainstorming, we were really inspired by the casual feel and black and white aesthetic of Calvin Klein ads. It’s crazy that a year later, I’m in my own campaign...I feel like I manifested that in a weird way? It’s also so cool to be in a campaign with so many badass trailblazers. Like Pabllo Vittar, are you kidding me? He’s a drag queen in the most dangerous country to be openly gay, and here he is thriving and playing huge festivals. That’s so inspiring. I still can’t believe I’m part of this campaign. I’m waiting for someone to pinch me and wake up from this dream.

How has your heavy involvement and influence within the LGBTQ community influenced your music?

I’m so lucky to be a part of such a supportive community, and I’m honored to be able to provide representation for queer and questioning Persian youth that I craved so much growing up. Sonically, I’m not sure being lesbian really influences my music -- but being Persian definitely has. Actually, some of the songs I’ve been writing lately have a strong Middle Eastern vibe to them.

Tell us a little about this new release! What steps did you take in the making of it?

I was getting out of a toxic relationship that felt like a never ending cycle of back and forth, but this time I knew it was really over. I remember going to the studio that day emotionally drained from this breakup. I kind of lost my identity, but writing this song really helped me remember who I was and made me fall in love with making music all over again. This is the kind of song I had been wanting to make for years.

What’s your writing/recording process look like?

Usually I come up with the chords when I’m at home and I’ll bring them to a studio session. This song was a little different. I worked with a producer duo called The Orphanage. I told them I had wanted to do something that had a Radiohead vibe to it and they nailed it almost immediately. As soon as I heard their riffs, me and my co-writer Barkley wrote the lyrics in an hour.

What was the inspiration behind the production?

I was really inspired by late ‘90s alt rock, like Radiohead and No Doubt. I think a lot of what we’re hearing on the radio these days feels very clean and commercial, so I wanted to embrace a bit of a rough, raw sound.

Why the name ‘Naive’?

I had two different ex girlfriends tell me that they never felt like I was as invested in the relationship as they were. During this studio session, I brought this up and we thought it was crazy that they both said that. I did care about them so much, but I wasn’t naive… it felt like they had such high expectations of what our relationship should be and I thought it was naive to be that invested so quickly. The first verse really sums it up: “All my exes said the same thing / maybe they’re right / I’m the high they’re always chasing / but they’re never mine.”

 Can you give us a little background on the lyrics? 

My favorite line is in the pre-chorus, where I sing, “I’ll love you, but let me do it recklessly.” It’s kind of saying that I’m going to love you with all that I can, but I didn’t want my girlfriend to have expectations of what our relationship looked like. I think romance movies are so cheesy… I think it’s healthy to have fights from time to time? Without it, what’s the point? Where’s the passion? That just feels boring to me. I feel like a lot of people fantasize about the ideal relationship, but I’m the opposite of that. I don’t expect anyone to be perfect. Actually, I’d prefer that they’re not.

 What are you really trying to get across with this release? What mark do you hope to leave for everyone listening?

This goes back to how I feel about pop music… I think a lot of the stuff we hear these days sounds so sterile and reductive. I think a lot of current artists are just copying their peers and that doesn’t make sense to me. I wanted to reference the music that I grew up with. And with that, I hope my music has the same effect that Madonna and Green Day and Radiohead had on me when I was younger in that it was an escape for me. I hope my music can also be an escape.

 Lastly, what more can we expect from the great Gia Woods?

Well, I was supposed to release my debut EP, Cut Season, in June and then go on tour to support that, but coronavirus had a different plan for just about everyone on the planet. So we’re reworking our release plan to figure out what makes sense. But if you like “Naive,” you’re going to love Cut Season...I promise that!

Stream “Naive” below:

#Gia Woods #Naive #Pop #Q&A

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

FFT: sweet cherry pie, adam page

Notes: 

This was originally a fake fic title ask that I got from @adampage​. I’ve decided to copy/paste it to it’s own post so that I can remove all these from snarkandsarcasmwrites to make it my personal blog. 

Pairing: 

Adam Hangman Page x OFC, Audrey.

Summary: 

Audrey not only has a secret crush on her best friend / co-worker Adam Page, but she’s also a virgin. In this two part series, both her secrets will be revealed. Part 1 of 2.

Warnings: 

none, really.

Adam chuckled almost the second he felt her press against him from behind and Audrey’s hands went over his eyes. The tension he’d been feeling slowly started to disappear, then again it always did whenever he was around her. He turned to face her, smiling.

“There you are, darlin.” Adam found himself doing it again, having to reign himself in so he didn’t push himself on her. If he didn’t reign himself in, he’d constantly be touching her.

… And I wouldn’t be able to stop with just that, either. And then if she doesn’t feel the same, I’ll lose her… his mind chimed in and just the thought of even possibly losing her as a friend or doing something that made her uncomfortable and skittish like she was around pretty much the rest of the males on the roster didn’t sit well with him at all.

“Yeah, I got stuck trying to keep Leva from killing Britt.” Audrey bit her lip, eyes easily getting lost in the baby blue of Adam’s eyes. She must have been staring too hard again, because Adam was chuckling and shaking his head, his hand at her hip. He pulled her closer and her breath caught in her throat at the contact. She had to fight the urge to clench her thighs and that lazy slow burning heat was flowing through her veins all over again.

…If he had any clue what he does to me and just how huge of a deal it truly is… the thought swam lazily through Audrey’s brain, quick to disappear and she was thankful for it. Lately it was getting harder to hide the way she felt about him and that was not a good thing. They had a good and solid friendship. She couldn’t even begin to fathom risking it. Just the thought of losing him in her life altogether was definitely more than enough to keep her from doing any more than she managed on occasion, the lingering touches, the hugs, the way they always seemed to find one another in a crowd and just kind of migrate together.

“How’d that work out for ya?” Adam asked the question playfully, a smile forming at the thought of her, trying to step between the two taller women and stop them from coming to blows a second time this week.

“I gave up. Wanted to come find you before your big match tonight. I… I thought you’d want someone around.”

Adam smiled at her softly, leaning in a little to brush her bangs out of her eyes as he did so. “I appreciate that, darlin.”

… oh god, when he talks like that… Before she could stop herself, Audrey’s imagination was doing it again, that thing where she went overboard, her mind filling in all these little details she longed so desperately for.

Like Adam, pulling her in closer. That large and rough and warm hand resting against her lower back firmly to keep her in place. His lips on her lips. In her mind, he substituted darlin for baby girl or any number of other pet names she longed to have him call her, if he was that kind of man.

Adam eyed her, a brow raised. She seemed to be lost in thought. Whatever she was thinking about had her biting her lip and blushing all over. Not that it wasn’t hot as hell, but it gave him all these thoughts.

Thoughts that lately, he’d been trying to keep control of. But it was getting harder and harder to do that. And he couldn’t stay away from her, either. He’d actually tried a time or two. And failed miserably.

He was drawn to her like a magnet.

Being around her felt good. He felt happier and more comfortable with her than he did anywhere else or with anyone else lately. Nothing else mattered. None of the crap he was dealing with all by himself, none of the frustration he felt almost 80 percent of the time lately.

… maybe frustration of a different kind. A better kind… the thought lingered as he cleared his throat and repeated his question because he’d asked her if she was okay and she’d yet to answer.

Audrey wanted to melt into the hallway floor because once again, she’d done it. She’d stepped closer without realizing it, their bodies almost brushing softly. She was staring up at him and lost in all her thoughts and apparently while she’d been lost in those, Adam had asked her a time or two if she was okay. She gave a soft laugh and nodded -probably a little too quick, god I hope he doesn’t figure out I’m standing here fantasizing about him yet again, answering quickly, “Yeah. I’m fine, I was just… Thinking.”

“Oh you were, huh?”

“Mhm.”

Adam’s music hit and Audrey was about to just let him walk down to the ring, but Adam surprised her by pulling her into a tight hug. His nose buried in the top of her head and he inhaled deeply. “Welp, gonna go do some cowboy shit.”

“You’re gonna do amazing, I know it. Just focus on yourself. Forget about the other three. And be careful out there, please?” Audrey’s hand rested palm down against his bare chest, right over his heart. Adam smiled and swallowed hard, exhaling deeply as he stared down the curtain separating the backstage from the ring and the arena.

Audrey took his face in her hands and repeated herself. “I mean it, Adam. You’re an amazing wrestler. If anyone else can’t see that, just know that you are.”

Before Adam could say anything else -or hug her again like he desperately craved, Audrey was hurrying away down the hall. He stood there watching her catch up to Leva until Kenny cleared his throat from the curtain.

Adam stepped past Kenny wordlessly and made his way down to the ring for their title defense match against the Bucks. Everything she said kept playing over and over in his mind for the duration.

He needed to do something.. At least consider trying to clue her in because this was driving him insane.He couldn’t keep it to himself much longer.

– ( A FEW HOURS LATER )

“You and Adam are awfully cozy lately.” Leva smirked to herself when she saw Audrey tense ever so slightly and glance around before meeting her gaze with a deer in headlights look. Audrey took a deep breath and after a few seconds of Leva staring her down intently as if waiting on an answer, Audrey finally managed to pull herself together enough that maybe it would sound legit when she did answer.

“He’s my best friend, duh.” Audrey’s tone was flat and Leva shook her head, sighing. “You’re in love with him… aren’t you?”

Audrey nearly choked on her bottled water as she glanced around almost as if she expected anyone to step out and hear their conversation. And when she opened her mouth, she honestly meant to deny,deny,deny, but instead, she found herself unable to do it any longer.

“Yeah and it’s driving me insane because every single time I think about trying to tell him somehow I just… I can’t. I freak out and it makes things weird. But if I don’t do something soon I’m gonna..” Audrey trailed off because she thought she heard footsteps.

Leva, however, was not in the mood to let Audrey keep this in any longer. And she knew full well that Adam was standing just out of sight, she’d seen him come out of the backstage exit and into the parking garage.

And if Audrey wasn’t going to say anything on her own… Maybe just doing a little gentle probing.. With Adam in earshot.

Maybe that would help these two finally get on the same page in their little ‘love story’.

Something had to give because everyone backstage was starting to take notice and quite a few were saying that the tension and magnetism between the two of them was so thick that it almost took all the air out of the room.

“You’re gonna go crazy… Right?”

Audrey sighed. She hadn’t seen anyone come past, so she assumed it was safe. She was just venting to her best friend, nothing would ever come of it. Venting to Leva was far better than keeping it all locked inside.

“Oh god yes. I’m going to lose my fucking mind.”

“Language…” Leva cautioned, Audrey poking her tongue out and taking a deep breath. “I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s like… There’s so much I wanna say to him. Every single time I try I guess I get overwhelmed and panic because if I just outright say that I love him and I want him, oh god… Then that leaves an opening for him to hurt me? I know he wouldn’t, he’d probably let me down gently…” Audrey leaned against the side of Leva’s SUV and sighed, gazing up at the concrete above their heads, lightly beating the back of her head against the vehicle.

“But what if you’re wrong?”

“Leva, that man is worlds above me. Galaxies.”

“No, Audrey, he’s not. He’s just a man. And maybe he feels the same way. People are already assuming you two are a thing.”

“I know and the reason I don’t correct anybody when asked is because I really wish it were true.” Audrey took an even deeper breath and pinched the bridge of her nose as she cringed and shook her head.

From the other side of the SUV, Adam nearly choked on his tongue. His heart started to race and he took as quiet a deep breath as possible. It was taking everything in him not to make himself known, not to just come out and tell her.

… Not like this, if I’m gonna say it, I’m gonna say it when it’s just me n’ her… But knowing what I know, maybe… Adam’s mind started to race, filling with the thoughts and possibilities that he didn’t even realize he had. He focused himself, hoping to hear more of the conversation between Audrey and Leva.

“Why don’t you just tell him?”

“ I’m afraid…” Audrey admitted it reluctantly, adding quickly, “You know why. You can’t tell me that the second he figures out I don’t know what the hell I’m doing in bed or in a relationship he’s not gonna just give up.” as she met her friend’s gaze, a convinced and firm look in her eyes.

Adam nearly choked again when he heard her say that. He took a deep breath, shifting his feet just to try and move a little, to keep himself from bursting out there and revealing himself. He got the distinct impression that what she and Leva were talking about was not something she wanted him to be aware of.

Leva gave a soft laugh because she’d seen Adam out of the corner of her eye. If Audrey really looked up and around, whoo boy, Leva thought to herself, careful to keep from appearing smug. She definitely knew what she was doing right now.

Something that apparently, neither one of them were brave enough to do for themselves. Something that had to be done, in her own mind for the name of true love. Because she was 1000000 percent certain that’s what they had.

They’d been through good, bad and not so ugly but still ugly together as friends.

Audrey sighed and took a deep breath. “I either need to find a better way to control myself around him or I need to keep my distance. Earlier tonight, before his match, God… I wanted to just take his face in my hands and kiss him. He looked unhappy. Tense.”

“Do you really think Adam Page is the kind of man who’s going to just ditch you because you happen to be a little… Inexperienced? And why are you putting the cart way before the horse anyway, hm?”

“Because he’s the only man I’d even think about… Giving myself to like that. Since I met him I… I’ve never really clicked with anyone like that? And you know me, Leva, I’ve never really wanted to, either.” Audrey paused and fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater. “But you are right. I’m putting the cart way before the horse but maybe that’s because I can’t stop thinking about him.. Imagining… you know. And it’s not just that, either. This isn’t just a case of strong physical attraction. Adam is… he’s it for me.”

“And now you turning down all the other guys you’ve met since you signed makes sense. You made up your mind a long time ago, huh?”

Audrey smiled softly and nodded. “I did. Only now, I can’t find the words to tell him I love him, much less… all the other stuff and it’s driving me insane. What the hell do I do? I can’t just stop being his friend. I can’t avoid him, I tried, remember? It drove me crazy and he just found me anyway and called me out on it and I barely kept it together enough to come up with a decent excuse. Fuck… I’m so damn awkward.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just picky as hell. But it’s never been a good thing and I think that maybe you need to go with your gut… At least try to hint how you feel? Could you do that?”

“I am. But I swear, it’s like Adam’s oblivious.”

“I don’t think he is. I think he’s just trying not to force himself on you. We both know what he’s going through right now with his other friends.” Leva’s mouth turned to a frown at the mention of the Bucks and Kenny Omega. Audrey nodded in agreement, scowling and shaking her head. “Yeah, those aren’t friends lately, not with the way they’ve been treating him. They don’t take him into any kind of consideration and it hurts my heart to watch him keep going through it.”

From his spot on the other side of the SUV, Adam was standing there, trying to quietly process everything he was hearing, his mind going a million miles an hour as he tried to come up with some way to bring this all to light.

Because if they both felt this way, it needed to come out.

Leva eyed her friend and nodded. “I still say you’re wrong. If you just tell him how you feel, you might be surprised.”

Audrey sighed and gave a soft laugh as she shrugged. “If only I could. I can’t find the words. And showing him, I… I’ve never done anything more than make out with a guy… I wasn’t even really all that affectionate until I met him, Leva. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m thinking… Maybe you could write it down?”

“Leva…” Audrey trailed off, going silent when she saw Adam walking towards them. For a split second, she panicked and thought that he might well have heard it all.

When he flashed her that grin and nodded to the belt then held out his hand for their usual high five, she felt a wave of relief wash over her and she was able to pull herself together enough to high five him back and pull him into a lingering hug that lasted both longer than it should have just to be a friendly one and yet, didn’t last long enough at all.

“I told you!” Audrey beamed up at Adam and Adam bit his lip, taking a deep breath. Now that he was standing face to face with her, with everything he’d overheard replaying in his brain, he was still trying to let the shock of it wear off.

He found himself almost painfully aware of just how close and tight he was holding her right now. The way the hug lingered on both sides of it. Not just his own like he’d previously thought. Then some of the things she’d confessed to Leva chose that exact second to creep back into his stream of conscious and he felt his cheeks heating up.

She wanted everything he did. She felt the same way he felt.

Maybe that’s the thought that finally spurred Adam to action. He nodded to Leva and smiled and Leva smiled back, winking as if she knew fully well that he’d heard every single thing Audrey admitted to and a second later, she cleared her throat. “Hey, Audrey?”

“Yeah, L?”

“I think I’m gonna catch a ride with Peter.” Leva shoved the keys to the SUV into Audrey’s hands and winked at her friend.

“Are you sure?” Audrey gulped, every single word she’d just confessed to her best friend rushing right back to her and setting her on edge. Leva was known for playing cupid and Leva knew she’d be on edge. And yet, Audrey thought to herself, she’s still going to just ditch me knowing I’m never gonna keep myself together right now.

“Positive. I wanted to talk to him about something anyway. It’s time we cleared the air.” Leva eyed Adam and then gave Audrey a teasing grin. “You two have fun. Go on! I’ll text you later, okay?”

Audrey could only nod. Her heart was beating so loud right now that she heard it. Just before she turned her gaze back to Adam, she caught Leva mouthing to her “At least try to tell him.. Or show him.”

And then Leva vanished, catching up to Peter and getting into his vehicle, taking off for the hotel 2 hours away in the next town.

Audrey gave a sheepish laugh as she made herself hold eye contact with Adam. Her whole body felt like it was on fire right now and she didn’t need a mirror to tell her that she was probably blushing bright red and that was why.

Adam chuckled quietly. She was fidgeting and blushing and twice now she’d tried to say something, her mouth opening only to close again. It was probably the first time since they’d met that he’d seen her have this much trouble saying something.

“Everything okay, darlin?” he stepped just a little closer because the wind picked up and he saw her shiver a little. Audrey swallowed hard and nodded quickly. “Everything is fine. I’m so happy for you. And proud. You were on fire tonight!” she beamed up at him, trying like hell to push all the thoughts and all the things she wanted to say but didn’t dare say out of her mind for the moment.

“So.. Since Leva left you with the SUV and there’s no way in hell I’m ridin with Kenny…” Adam mentioned it mildly as a loose plan started to form in his mind.

He’d start small… But one way or another, everything was going to come out in the open.

And tonight seemed like a good place to start.

… Flirting more… Being more affectionate. That couldn’t hurt either… Adam thought to himself as he took the key from Audrey and unlocked the SUV, opening her door up for her. Audrey went to get in and for a few seconds, they were pressed right against each other, her staring up at him.

Adam’s hand found her lower back and he bit his lip, staring down at her mouth as intently as her own gaze was fixed on his mouth at the moment. He leaned in close, his free hand raising, raking through her hair to push it out of her eyes as he chuckled. “Are you sure everything’s okay, darlin? Because you know you can tell me anything… Right?”

… Except this, unfortunately, because I’ve been trying… Audrey thought to herself as she took a deep breath and nodded, gave the lame excuse that tonight had just been a weird night for her. Adam didn’t press, but somehow, she got the distinct feeling that he didn’t entirely believe that either and she felt herself starting to panic and tense up, going into overthink everything mode on her end.

She finally got settled into the passenger seat after a few seconds stare down that felt like it lasted for years and she leaned her head back against the headrest of her seat as Adam made his way around and got into the driver seat.

For about twenty minutes of the drive, the air was thick and heavy and they were both sort of lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, Adam couldn’t take it anymore. The growling of his stomach and hearing her stomach growl as well prompted him to clear his throat just as they were getting to an exit on the interstate.

“You wanna stop and get somethin to eat, darlin?”

“I’m starving, actually.” -and eating would take my mind off of everything I wanna say and do right now because you got me all sorts of wound up tonight… Like always… the thought went unsaid, but it had Audrey squirming a little, shifting around in her seat as her stomach fluttered. “I can look for somewhere to stop.”

“Found somewhere.” Adam gave a teasing wink after putting his phone back down in the console.Audrey smiled and nodded, biting her lip and acting again as if she wanted to say something. When their hands brushed because she put her arm on the arm rest between them, Adam took a deep breath and a big chance, grabbing hold of her hand lightly, his fingers twining with her fingers.

Audrey’s breath caught again and before she could stop herself, she was giving his hand a gentle squeeze. She thought that one little gesture would pacify her, but it didn’t and it lead to her, trailing one of her fingertips lazily over the palm of his hand. Adam bit his lip and glanced over at her out of the corner of his eye.

“You’re awful quiet tonight, darlin.”

“Just a lot on my mind, I guess.” Audrey managed to get the words out after a second or two. She made herself look at him, hoping to God that he couldn’t tell she was actually blushing bright red right now by the dim glow of the dashboard lighting and she took a deep breath.

If she thought it was hard to resist telling him exactly how she felt about him before, it was twice as hard now, because every single time she went to say something or start another conversation, she’d remember the conversation she had with Leva and she’d almost blurt it all out to Adam.

Adam cleared his throat. “Same here.”

All he could think about was her… Confessing everything she had to Leva earlier. And what he hoped to do with everything he knew now.

“Are you alright, Adam?”

Her question caught him off guard and he chuckled, smiling as he gave her hand a squeeze. “Actually, yeah.”

… So, when are you going to mention that this kind of feels like a first date scenario, man?… the thought crept it’s way in and Adam cleared his throat, coughing a little. It caused Audrey to eye him in concern and he quickly muttered something about taking a breath and it going down the wrong way. It was a weak and lame excuse, but it was better than just blurting out what he desperately wanted to.

The diner he’d found came into view and he pulled into the parking lot. Neither of them still really hadn’t said much by the time Adam was putting the car into park. The tension between them was thick and Adam found himself wondering if Audrey noticed it.

He got out, going around to her door and opening it. Audrey hopped out of the passenger seat and Adam slipped his arm around her, pulling her a little closer than he usually would. Audrey glanced at the little brick building and up at Adam, biting her lip, looking as if she wanted to say something, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“What’s the matter, darlin?”

“I figured you’d found like… a Wendy’s or something.”

Adam furrowed his brow and then chuckled, because for the split second he panicked, he actually did happen to look at her and realize that no, she wasn’t disappointed, but she was very surprised.

The place he’d chosen was one of those proper go in and sit down establishments. Like the kind you’d take your special someone on date night. It was also somewhere she’d mentioned wanting to stop at on their way to the hotel to Leva earlier.

“I mean, if you want, we can go find one. I just wanted to go in and sit. Talk to ya.” Adam stopped in front of the door, gazing down at her. If he hadn’t overheard everything back in the parking garage at the arena, he’d be thinking that she wasn’t comfortable right now.

The thought wasn’t entirely wrong, but it was only because she was confused. It hadn’t clicked quite yet.

“Talk to me? About what?” Audrey’s breath caught and she eyed him. Her heart was racing a little because there was just something… Different about tonight.

Different about the way he acted, different about the stopping for actual food in an actual restaurant as opposed to just going the fast food route. Different about the way he looked at her and the little touches that normally before - at least as far as she was aware, never really lingered quite like they had on his part so far tonight.

… Can’t say the same for me because I can’t keep my hands off him… the thought surfaced and Audrey felt her cheeks heating because with that thought came all the  different ways she longed for Adam to touch her. To grab her and pin her against a wall and kiss her until she felt dizzy and wanted to faint.

“Just talk. About anything.” Adam stepped out of the way for a couple to walk in past them and this put him right against her. Normally, he wouldn’t have dared but tonight with everything he’d overheard her saying out of her own mouth… He felt braver. More free to go for it, really step up and at least try to hint at how he felt too. His hand drifted down, gently squeezing her hip as he stared down at her.

Audrey seemed to relax, he felt it the second her body seemed to unclench itself. He smiled and leaned in a little bit closer, brushing some hair out of her eyes again, daring to rest his hand against her cheek. “If you’re okay with that, darlin…”

“Oh yeah, yeah. I’m totally okay with that.” Audrey’s words tumbled out one right on top of the other when she spoke and she found herself migrating closer to Adam, staring up at him. She went to raise her hand, maybe to touch his cheek but she quickly caught herself and lowered it to her side again, hoping he hadn’t seen her about to do it.

But Adam had definitely seen her do it. The hand on her hip lowered, catching hold of the hand she’d just lowered to her side and he twined his fingers through her own. Audrey could feel her heart start to race a little and she stared up at him for a second or two.

…. no, he couldn’t have heard me back at the arena…

… but you did think that someone came out and nobody ever walked past…

… but if he’d heard me… this wouldn’t be happening… right?…

… what exactly is happening, though?….

… it feels like he’s flirting with me… like I’ve been trying to do with him for a while now, albeit clumsily…

“You wanna go in, darlin?” Adam was holding the door open. Audrey got herself focused and nodded, smiling as she walked into the little diner. Adam stopped behind her in line, pressing against her a little, his hands at her hips. It was enough to make Audrey gulp and suck in a breath. Her eyes fluttered open and shut and she did her level best at not making an ass out of herself, trying to appear calm and chill like always, but… She kept imagining all the places those hands had been in all her wildest dreams.

Adam happened to catch sight of the way her eyes fluttered open and closed at the touch and he smiled to himself, pressing even closer and muttering quietly next to her ear, “You shivered. Everything okay?”

“Mhm.” Audrey managed to squeak the word out quietly and she turned to face him, staring up at him. Everything about tonight felt so much… Different.

Special. Maybe even a little romantic.

“This ain’t where I wanted to take ya on our first date, but it’ll work for now. You were talkin about it earlier with Leva, so I thought maybe I’d surprise ya…” Adam took a huge chance in just letting it slip out so casually like he did. When it registered to Audrey what he’d just said, he chuckled quietly, gazing down at her as they moved forward in the small line waiting to be seated.

…. Did he just… Okay, I must have fallen and hit my head…. This has to be a dream…

Audrey tried to respond but all she could do was open and close her mouth repeatedly as it sank in for her what he was trying to do. She’d actually mentioned this particular diner to Leva earlier.

It hit her then, just how well Adam always seemed to be at remembering these minute details. And it only made her fall even harder. It also made it harder for her not to just pour it all out. The only thing keeping her from that was the fact that she was so afraid that if she did everything might go terribly wrong.

Adam watched her processing what was going on, sort of smiling to himself.

“You definitely did that.” Audrey admitted, giving a soft giggle. Surprise wasn’t exactly the word for it, Audrey found herself thinking, she was actually stunned. In a good way. The shock was starting to wear off a little and she was really starting to wonder just how much of this was Adama being intuitive and charming -and possibly hinting at his own feelings,hopefully; or how much of it was him having overheard her talk with Leva back at the arena.

The hostess led them to a table towards the back and Adam pulled out her chair before taking a seat across the table from her. There was a single rose in the vase between them on the table and Adam glanced around, a jovial grin as he reached out and took the rose, holding it out to her. Audrey took the rose from him and smiled, passing it under her nose.

“Outside… you were saying that this isn’t where you’d have taken me on our first date, Adam…” Audrey paused, taking a deep breath, trying to collect herself. “Does this mean that tonight is a… Nevermind, it’s stupid.” she fell silent, wanting to kick herself for being awkward once again.

Adam chuckled quietly, reaching over the tabletop towards her, lightly cupping her chin and making her look at him and not the tabletop like she was currently. “It’s not stupid. C’mon… Ask whatever it is you were about to ask.”

“I was going to ask if that meant that you think tonight is a date?” Audrey stammered it out after a second or two of just sitting there trying like hell to get it to come out. Adam grinned lazily, shrugging and for a second, Audrey almost retracted her question because she felt skittish.

“Depends.” Adam answered after a second or two, “Do you want it to be a date, darlin? Because this ain’t just up to me. You know that, right?  You do have a say…” and after he went quiet, he waited. Internal panic was just starting to set in when she finally answered.

“I do, actually.” Audrey finally managed to get her brain and her mouth to work at the same time to answer him, reaching for his hand when she saw him look like he was sitting there kind of quietly freaking out. Adam’s fingers laced between her own and Audrey gave him a reassuring smile. “I really do. I mean that.”

Adam grinned and nodded, shifting around in his seat a little, leaning in over the tabletop. “Good. Kinda worried I went overboard… I know I didn’t really ask ya…” he trailed off, shaking his head, laughing about it almost sheepishly.

He’d gotten caught up in the moment if he had to be honest about it.

Audrey gave a quiet laugh, nodding. “For the record, if you had, I would have definitely said yes.”

Adam gazed at her, a smile playing at his lips. “You would’ve, hmm? That’s good to know. Makes me feel better about doin’ this.”

“Good. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t want you to do this, I mean, it’s a really sweet surprise. I was just telling Leva earlier I wanted to stop here on our way back to the hotel.” Audrey trailed her fingertip over the palm of his hand and Adam bit back a quiet groan at the touch, swallowing hard as he smiled at her, relieved that she wasn’t uncomfortable or upset by him taking things into his own hands.

Audrey could feel it all slowly sort of bubbling to the surface. Any second now, she found herself thinking, I’m going to open my mouth and I’m going to wind up telling him everything. “You did, huh?” she smiled at Adam, her eyes darting from his eyes and settling on his lips. A waitress came to their table and after Adam ordered, Audrey scanned the menu, placing her own order, her fingertip ghosting over Adam’s palm when it dawned on her that they were still holding hands, just because it gave her something to focus on other than her overwhelming desire to spill it all to him.

Every.Single.Feeling.

Adam barely restrained a quiet groan at the soft trailing of her fingertips over the surface of his palm. It was kind of this thing she always did, and yet now that he knew what he knew about her feelings, it took on this whole other meaning. It felt totally different.

Better.

He squeezed her hand a little and Audrey looked up at him. The waitress had just left their table to take their order to the back so it was going to be a little while to wait. And normally, Audrey would be able to talk his ears off. But tonight, every single time she thought about opening her mouth, all she wanted to do was tell him everything and she didn’t even know where to begin.

… at least say something… Audrey tried to mentally coax herself to at least initiate conversation.

She sighed quietly and then cleared her throat, preparing to speak up. “Adam?”

Adam had been sort of just sitting there lost in thought when he felt her squeeze his hand. It was weighing on him, knowing what she’d told Leva and knowing that she most likely wasn’t going to bring it up for whatever reason.

“Yeah?” Adam questioned, meeting her gaze.

“ There’s something I… Nevermind, go ahead.” they both said it at the exact same time, giving a quiet laugh after they managed to do it. Adam nodded, taking a few deep breaths.

“Fuck it.” he muttered mostly to himself. He had to do something, say something.

Audrey’s breath caught in her throat and she braced herself. By now she was starting to really wonder if maybe he had overheard her little confession to Leva in the parking garage. “What’s wrong?” she made herself ask the question just to at least buy her a little time to get herself under control.

“Earlier tonight… I walked out into the parking garage to find you after the show… And I…” Adam stopped to take a sip of the drink he’d ordered and then, after searching her eyes and seeing her panicked look, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, he decided to continue.

This had to come out.

He didn’t want to start things off with her by hiding the fact that he’d overheard her earlier tonight, even though it wasn’t really that big of a deal.

He just wasn’t that kind of guy.

“Yeah?” Audrey breathed out the word, her heart really starting to kick into overdrive as she took a long sip of the drink in front of her and tried not to fidget or look away.

“Well, shit.. I.. I overheard what you were talkin’ to Leva about… The way you feel about me. And some other stuff.” Adam took another drink. A quick glance at her revealed that she was probably panicking and he chuckled softly, leaning over the tabletop between them. Audrey sighed and her shoulders dropped slightly, “You… If you don’t feel the..” but the side of Adam’s finger pressed into her lips, stopping the flow of her words midsentence, and he chuckled quietly.

“Let me finish, darlin?”

The soft huskiness in his voice had Audrey biting her lip, managing to nod but that was about it. Adam tilted her chin so that she had to look directly at him and he took a deep breath. “I wish you woulda said somethin’ to me sooner, Audrey. Because it has been torture keepin the fact that I feel the same way you said you felt about me to myself.”

“Wait… huh?” Audrey let out the breath she’d been holding and the words tumbled out as the anxiety started to ease away, replaced with shock at his own admission. “You… feel that way too?”

“It wasn’t obvious, darlin?”

“N-no.. I mean.. I used to catch myself hoping you were flirting and being affectionate but I didn’t know.” Audrey gave a soft laugh.

The waitress made her way over with their food and as soon as it was settled between them, Audrey surprised Adam by standing and moving around the table to the seat right beside him. As she sat, she flashed him this cute little shy grin… and promptly tried to steal about five french fries off of his plate, making him chuckle quietly and lean in a little, press his lips against her forehead. “I see that’s not gonna change.”

“I mean, unless you want it to…” Audrey bit her lip, locking eyes with him when she looked up.

“Not at all, darlin.” Adam grinned at her as he leaned in and muttered quietly, “I think it’s kinda cute, actually. Nothin has to really change, darlin… Unless you want it to?” he swallowed hard, breathing catching in his throat while he waited for her to respond.

Audrey took a deep breath and speared a chunk of beef, popping it into her mouth, trying to decide what to say.

He’d been honest.

It was her turn to be honest now.

And knowing he felt the same way made it a little easier for her to just let it all out.

“I do, actually. I don’t… I don’t wanna be just your best friend, Adam.”

Adam nearly choked on the bite of the burger he’d taken and he gave a bright smile, shocked by what she was saying. Or what he hoped she was saying. “Wait… Are you.. Are you sayin you wanna be my girl? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like right now, Audrey.”

His heart was racing. When she gave a soft laugh and nodded her head yes, leaning against his side just a little, he let out the breath he’d been holding, feeling relieved.

“That’s exactly what I meant.” Audrey muttered quietly, reaching out to take a few more fries from his plate, making him laugh quietly.

“Exactly how much did you hear earlier.” Audrey had to know. Parts of her hoped that he’d heard everything. Parts of her weren’t so sure how she felt about her obvious lack of experience both in relationships overall and in bed were still her little secret.

“Everything.” Adam answered, gazing at her intently, trying to gauge her reaction by the expression on her face. Audrey swallowed hard and took a big sip of the drink in front of her and then sighed. “So you know about… you know.”

Adam nodded, trying to give her a reassuring smile. “I know you’re over there over-thinking right now, Audrey. None of it’s a big deal, darlin.”

“Thank God.” Audrey could still feel her cheeks burning, but she took a deep breath and another bite of the chili she’d ordered. Adam spoke up again. “What? Did you think it was gonna bother me?”

“Well, I figured at the very least, you’d think it was… ya know, weird.”

“Hon, no. There is nothing wrong with waitin.”

Audrey locked eyes with him, nodding as she swallowed hard and thought about her other little confession to Leva… About how Adam was the only man she’d ever really even… Thought about going all the way with.

Knowing he heard that had her curious. She wanted so badly to just ask him about that particular part of it all but she didn’t dare.

Tonight was already one of the best nights of her life, there was no sense or need in making it completely awkward by pushing her wants and desires on him, especially not this soon, even though they’d known each other for months now and they’d gotten extremely close and she knew she could trust him and he’d definitely proven that beyond a doubt just now by not being weirded out by what he’d overheard her telling Leva, in detail.

They finished their meal and after a playful argument over why Adam felt like he should pay and why Audrey felt like they should split the bill, they were on the road again and it was almost midnight by the time they were pulling to a stop at the hotel.

Adam killed the engine and chuckled quietly to himself when he realized that apparently Audrey had fallen asleep during the remainder of the drive, her head resting against his shoulder. He leaned down, brushing his lips against her forehead. “Hey, darlin.. C’mon, wake up. We’re at the hotel.”

“Don’t wanna move. Warm and snuggly.” Audrey yawned out the words, barely opening her eyes as she giggled softly and leaned against Adam even more. Adam chuckled. “I’m gonna come around and get ya out, okay?”

“Mhm.”

Adam got out of the driver’s seat, going around to the passenger side, opening the door and reaching over her to unfasten her seatbelt. Scooping her into his arms, he shut the door with his side and started to walk towards the hotel lobby as she started to wake up, her arms wrapping lazily around his neck.

“I had a nice time tonight. You might not agree, but for me, this was the perfect first date, Adam.” Audrey muttered the words sleepily against his neck as she yawned.

Adam could only smile and respond “I do agree, darlin. You don’t know how happy this is makin me.” softly as he approached  the desk to let them both get checked into their respective rooms….

TO BE CONTINUED.

#adam hangman page fanfiction #adam hangman page fanfic #adam hangman page fic #adam hangman page imagine #adam hangman page one-shot #wrestling fanfiction blog #part 1 of 2

[warpedless]

Until You / e.d.

Summary: Shelly and Ethan go to a wedding. Shelly wants to smash cake in Ethan’s face and Ethan wants their wedding to be a rager.

Warnings: just a little stranger things spoiler

 A/N: this concept came to me when i saw this picture so of course at three am i had to write this dumb thing. i wasn’t sure about whether to use a name or y/n, but i really like how this turned out. i hope this isn’t garbage!!

Wordcount: 5649

It’s the perfect day for a wedding. There’s not a cloud in the sky, the breeze is cool and refreshing, and Shelly’s always been fond of the idea of a summer wedding. It’s the end of August, meaning the air is warm without being suffocating and the nights are perfect for grabbing an extra blanket and snuggling on the couch. 

Shelly’s never been huge on weddings. She’s never been the kind of girl to plan her wedding in journals, cut out pictures of dresses, or fantasize about cake tastings and flower arrangements. For the longest time, she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to get married. 

But, things changed when Ethan came into the picture.

No, Shelly’s not looking at bridesmaid dresses or wedding venues. But, give or take ten years, it’s not something she would be opposed to. Especially with Ethan by her side. 

When her mom called her over a year ago to let her know that her cousin Sabrina had gotten engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Shelly was in Ethan’s dorm room. They had just started dating, using the term dating loosely. Neither of them were interested in seeing other people, both too consumed with each other to even look at anyone else, but neither of them had made the move to define the relationship.

“Was that your mom?” Ethan asked when Shelly hung up the phone, pausing his videogame to look over his shoulder. “Everything okay?”

Shelly nodded. “Everything’s fine. Great, actually. My cousin just got engaged, I guess.”

Ethan only raised his brows and smiled. He didn’t know about cousin Sabrina, had never met Shelly’s parents, and had only heard about Shelly’s sister and said hi to her on Facetime once or twice when she called Shelly. “Cool.”

*

A year later, about four months before the wedding, Shelly received Sabrina’s wedding invitation in her dorm mailbox. Shelly hadn’t thought much about her cousin’s wedding since the date was announced. She hadn’t even thought about what she was going to wear. The last wedding she had been to was her aunt’s when she was eleven, so she wasn’t even sure where to start when it came to outfit preparation. 

She didn’t bring up the wedding to Ethan. He saw the invitation on her desk one night while they were studying for their art history final. “Hey, I forgot about this.” He had said, holding the invitation in front of his face as Shelly looked up from her notes. “Sabrina, right?”

“Yeah, the wedding’s in August,” Shelly replied before looking back at her notes. “I haven’t even figured out what I’m gonna wear.”

“Isn’t there supposed to be like, a color theme? Or something?” Ethan asked as he looked over the invitation.

Shelly laughed and shook her head. “Kind of. But, I’m pretty sure the theme or whatever only applies to like, the bridesmaids and groomsmen. I’ll probably just wear the dress I wore at my high school graduation.”

In the middle of studying, Shelly took a detour and started looking for wedding outfits online. She had found a few promising ones, but what really caught her eye was a pretty yellow dress with a flowy skirt and off the shoulder sleeves. She imagined herself wearing it as she made sure they had her size and added it to her cart. As she envisioned herself in the dress, she imagined Ethan by her side. Her sweet, handsome Ethan. If there was anyone she wanted to be with while in that dress, it was Ethan.

“What’re you doing September twenty-second?” she asked, breaking the silence that had fallen around them.

Ethan smiled knowingly, his eyes not leaving his textbook. “Not sure, I’ll have to check my schedule.” Finally, he looks over at Shelly. “Why? Have something in mind?”

*

Four months later, on September twenty second, Shelly’s sitting in her mom’s room letting her mom do her hair. The pretty yellow dress - which fits perfectly, by the way - is laid out across Shelly’s bed across the hallway, not a wrinkle or stain in sight. 

“He should be here any minute now, right?” Shelly’s mom asks, looking at her daughter in the mirror. “I want to iron his shirt beforehand. If he’s anything like the rest of the men I know, he’s probably blind to wrinkles.”

Shelly rolls her eyes and laughs. “He’s less than five minutes away. You’ll have more than enough time to iron his shirt. Maybe even his underwear too, if you feel the need.”

Her mom cringes and shakes her head. “I’ll leave that to you.”

Sure enough, not even three minutes later, Shelly’s getting a text saying that Ethan’s in the driveway. Her mom sends Erica downstairs to let him in so she can finish Shelly’s hair.

“Knock, knock.”

Even after a year, Shelly’s stomach still does somersaults when she hears the boy’s voice. She’s had feelings for other boys. Cared for other boys. But, none of those boys can even compare to Ethan. When he peeks his head around the door, his eyes meeting Shelly’s instantly, her heart starts beating rapidly in her chest.

“You look so beautiful,” he says before greeting Shelly’s mom with a polite smile and gentle hug. He lifts up the white button down and black blazer he has on a hanger. “I remembered my clothes.”

Erica laughs and looks at her sister. “Where you worried he’d forget them?”

“You never know,” Shelly explains as she accepts the kiss Ethan plants on her warm cheek. “You look handsome,” Shelly whispers to Ethan, knowing her mom and sister won’t appreciate any excessive PDA.

“Hardly,” Ethan chuckles. He’s already wearing his fitted black slacks and one of his university hoodies until Shelly’s mom is pleased with the appearance of his button down. Summer looks amazing on Ethan, giving him tanned skin and soft hair. Even with the hair gel and product that he insists on using, Shelly still has to resist the urge to run her fingers through the deep brown strands. “Wait until I’m all suited up. I’m gonna be like Bruce Wayne.” He hesitates. “Or Men in Black. Or another other hot guy in a suit.”

“You’re much more than another other hot guy in a suit,” Shelly retorts with a laugh, only for her mother and Erica to pretend to puke.

They don’t get any alone time until Shelly’s hair is done and Erica is reminding their mother that she needs to get on her way. They would all be driving separately; Erica with their mom and Shelly with Ethan. Their mom was supposed to be helping the planner with the flowers and making sure that everything was in its place, meaning that she would be arriving at the venue a little earlier than everyone else. 

Once Erica and her mom are backing out of the driveway, Shelly gives them one last wave before she’s turning around and jogging up the stairs. She hasn’t seen Ethan in nearly three weeks and she’s been craving alone time with him since she laid eyes on him. They haven’t even kissed properly for Christ’s sake.

“You decent?” she asks as she opens her bedroom door. Shelly hopes the answer’s no.

“Somewhat.”

On the other side of the door is an image Shelly wishes she could keep permanently in her brain. Ethan has his white button down tucked into his slacks, displaying his slender hips, and the buttons revealing his tan, smooth chest and sparse hair leading down to his navel. He’s looking at himself in Shelly’s mirror on her bureau, applying her deodorant to his underarms. It’s the most mundane thing; Ethan putting on deodorant. But, it’s a view that Shelly wants to see for the rest of her life.

When she doesn’t say anything or move from her place in her doorway, Ethan lifts his head and looks over at her. “What? Do I not look like Bruce Wayne?”

Shelly shakes her and walks forward, running a hand from Ethan’s shoulder to his elbow. “I love you.”

Ethan grins, the same grin that was on his face the first time those words left Shelly’s lips months ago. He leans forward and presses a small, warm kiss to her lips. “I love you more. So, do I look good? Are all of your aunts and cousins gonna want to jump my bones?” He looks back at himself in the mirror and sets her deodorant back on the bureau.

The kiss was far too quick and simple for Shelly’s liking. Not when she’s gone weeks without Ethan’s mouth and now he’s standing in her childhood bedroom looking like this. Instead of answering, she takes his chin and turns his face back to her. “Everyone already wants to jump your bones.” 

“I only care about one person jumping my bones,” Ethan says with a smirk. He welcomes Shelly’s lips against his own, instinctually wrapping an arm around her waist. She’s still wearing one of her oversized sleep shirts, one that Ethan is pretty sure belongs to him. He fists the back of her shirt and presses Shelly against him, loving how she feels right here in his arms. It’s all he’s wanted since they last saw each other what feels like a lifetime ago. Call Ethan dramatic, but it’s been hard going from seeing his girl every single day to only everything other weekend or less. “I can’t believe your mom didn’t care about leaving us alone.”

Shelly shrugs and presses another short, yet lingering kiss to Ethan’s pink mouth. “We’re nineteen and spent the entire school year together without parental supervision. She’s not dumb, E.”

Ethan cringes. “Ugh, our parents know we fuck.”

“Okay, we don’t have to verbalize it,” Shelly laughs, cringing as well. “Way to ruin the mood. Now, all I’m going to think about is my mom.”

“It’s probably a good thing,” Ethan sighs as he looks at his watch. “We have to leave soon anyways, and I don’t want to be late and have everyone hate me. You’re not even dressed yet.”

“It’s been three weeks,” Shelly whines, trailing her fingertips down the exposed skin of Ethan’s chest until they land at his belt buckle. She doesn’t make a move to undo it or reach beneath it; she knows when Ethan’s just feigning maturity and when he’s being real. And Shelly doesn’t think he’s going to budge.

“I know, Shell, but this is important,” Ethan explains. He wraps his hands around Shelly’s wrists and brings her hands to his lips. “This is like, your entire family. If you’re late, or there’s a hair out of place on your head, that’s on me. I don’t want to mess anything up.”

On any other occasion, Shelly would persist until Ethan at least let her go down on him. But, she can see how serious he is. When it comes to family, regardless of who’s side, Ethan is always serious. Family is important to him and Shelly knows that, she respects that. So, instead of trying to get Ethan to let loose and undo his pants, she just nods and starts buttoning his shirt. 

“I’ll get dressed if you start the car with the AC on high.”

Ethan smiles and kisses Shelly’s forehead. “Sounds like a plan. Be downstairs in five.”

*

The venue is what Shelly would equate to the country club where High School Musical 2 takes place, sans the desert, early 2000’s fashion, or Zac Efron. After an hour and a half of fighting with Ethan for control of the aux cord, they’re driving onto the grounds. They’re instantly greeted by white and yellow balloons until people begin coming into view.

“Jeez, this place is huge,” Ethan says with a low whistle as they drive further down the dirt road. As the building that Shelly assumes to be the lobby comes into view, Ethan turns the music down. “Where do I park? Is there like, a specific place for me to park?”

Shelly can feel the anxiety radiating off of Ethan like steam off of hot pavement. She reaches over and wraps her fingers around his own, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Look, baby. There’s a sign over there for family parking.”

“Oh, true,” Ethan mumbles before following the signs to where he can see Shelly’s mom’s car already parked.

Just as Ethan had planned, they were on time. If anything, Shelly would even say they were early. As soon as they entire the wedding hall, Shelly’s hand wrapped tightly around Ethan’s, it’s all polite smiles and ‘long time no see!’ or ‘haven’t seen you in so long!’. There are a few more distant relatives that Ethan is introduced to, but for the most part, it’s small talk and light kisses on the cheek until Shelly spots her mom.

The actual wedding is fairly monotonous. One of Sabrina’s best friends is officiating the wedding. She keeps things very light and fun, making sure to not drone on. But, for the most part, all Shelly can think about is the man beside her. His arm is strewn across her lap, his fingers tucked between where her legs are crossed. Shelly loops her arm through Ethan’s and rests her head against his shoulder. She feels him turn his head and press a kiss to her forehead. He’s soft and gentle, as if he’s trying not to catch attention from the people seated behind them.

The vows are beautiful. Shelly’s not surprised; Sabrina’s always had a way with words. She wouldn’t even be surprised if Sabrina had helped her fiance with his vows. Finally, the couple says ‘I do’, and everyone is standing and clapping. 

Ethan laughs as everyone starts clapping, like one does at a graduation ceremony or when their favorite team makes a touchdown. “Is this normal at weddings?” he whispered in Shelly’s ear as Sabrina’s dad starts hollering ‘that’s my girl!’

Shelly shrugs and watches her cousin walk down the aisle hand in hand with her new husband. “I have no clue. Probably not.”

The reception hall is much more Shelly and Ethan’s speed. It’s large and open, with glass doors and windows overlooking the large pond behind the building and the trees surrounding the property. Towards the back of the room behind the large dance floor is the open bar that Shelly can already assume Ethan will be frequenting and sneaking drinks from for Erica. 

They’re seated at a table with Shelly’s mom, Erica, Shelly’s mom’s sisters and their husbands, and a few relatives that Shelly isn’t particularly close with. As soon as they’re seated, Ethan is picking up the menu in front of him and pursuing it as if he hasn’t eaten in days. 

“Are you starving or something?” Erica asks as she picks up her own menu from Shelly’s other side.

Ethan doesn’t even look up from the menu as he says, “Yeah, I haven’t eaten all day!”

Shelly lightly smacks him in the chest with the back of her hand. “Why didn’t you eat breakfast? You knew we wouldn’t be eating until later.”

The boy just shrugs. “I wanted to make sure I was actually hungry. I feel like food at weddings is like, supposed to be really good. What’re you getting? They have chicken and salmon. Which one do you think I would like more? What’s a chimichurri sauce?”

In those brief few seconds, Shelly couldn’t feel more at peace. She’s missed Ethan. For the entire year that they’ve been together, aside from their first summer together, they’ve only been a dorm building away. Shelly wouldn’t say that they’re codependent - they’re capable of surviving without each other for periods of time - but three weeks is a long time. It’s not even about the sex. Yes, sex with Ethan is some of the best sex that Shelly’s ever had. But, there’s so much more to Ethan than his dick. Sex is just a small percentage of what Shelly loves about this boy. 

Ethan notices Shelly’s silence and starring. “What? Did you get makeup on my shirt? Please tell me you didn’t.”

Shelly laughs and shakes her head. “No, you’re shirts clean. I just missed you.”

“I missed you more,” Ethan says before pressing their lips together lightly. “Now quit staring at me and help me decide on what to eat. You can tell me how sexy I look when I’m not hungry.”

*

It’s not long before Shelly finds herself at the bar ordering drinks for her and Ethan. She’s relieved when the bartender accepts her lousy fake ID. Back at the table, Ethan, Erica, and their cousin Jackson are busy arguing over the ending of the latest season of Stranger Things. She figured it was time for her boyfriend to have a drink when the conversation began to get heated.

“Shelly, honey, how are you?”

Shelly turns to see her Nana coming towards her with open arms. “I’m good.” She lets the older woman squeeze her tight, the way she has since Shell was a little girl. The familiar scent of orange blossom and sugar cookies makes Shelly smile. “How are you? I’m sorry I didn’t come see you earlier. I didn’t want to take you away from Sabrina.”

“Sweetie, don’t apologize. I knew I’d eventually run into you.” Nana turns to the bartender. “I’ll have a glass of white zin, please.” She turns back to Shelly with a knowing look, spotting Ethan just over her shoulder. “So, how are things going with him? You’ve been together for a long time now.”

Instantly, Shelly knows exactly where this is going. But, it’s her Nana. It’s not her mom or her sister just trying to push her buttons. So, Shelly entertains her. “Yeah, over a year. We’re really happy.”

“You have, what only a year of college left?” Shelly nods and takes the two drinks being handed to her. She takes a sip of her gin and tonic. “What are you two doing after college? Are you going to live together?”

It’s in this moment that Shelly wishes she had just cut the conversation at its root before it could grow. Over the last semester, long before summer break, Ethan, Shelly, and their parents had all discussed the couple renting out a house on campus instead of paying for housing for another year. In fact, the last time Shelly and Ethan saw each other, they had met with their new landlord and signed the lease with both of their moms as cosigners.

As if sensing her daughter’s distress, Shelly’s mom is ringing an arm around her shoulders. “What’re you two doing over here? Hogging all the booze?” She orders herself a gin martini with dirty ice and squeezes Shelly’s arm.

“Just asking your eldest about her plans after graduation,” Nana says innocently before taking her glass of wine from the bartender. “Is that a crime?”

“Mom, didn’t I tell you? Shelly and Ethan are renting a house for their senior year. That way we don’t have to pay for housing.”

The look on Nana’s face is almost comical. On one hand, she looks incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of her grandchild living with a man, even if that man is Ethan, who Shelly’s been with for over a year. But, on the other hand, it is Ethan, who’s incredibly respectful, kind, and always makes it a point to compliment her cooking whenever he goes with Shelly for a visit. Nana likes Ethan and she likes Ethan with her granddaughter. She also loves the sound of saving money.

“Well. That’s nice. I must’ve forgotten.” Nana takes a sip of her white zin. “You’ll have to show me pictures.”

“Thank God I didn’t have to be the one to break the news,” Shelly whispers as her mom leads her back to the table.

Her mom chuckles. “Ethan and Erica noticed you and said that you might need some assistance.”

The looks on Ethan and her sister’s faces only confirm her mom’s words. Shelly sits back in her seat and sets Ethan’s drink down in front of him. His hand finds her knee as she sits beside him. “Everything okay? You looked a little ambushed.”

Shelly nods and drinks from her g&t. “I’m fine. Just the usual kind of questioning one gets at a wedding.” Ethan raises a brow. He doesn’t follow. Shelly rolls her eyes fondly. “She was asking about. Like, if we’re getting married after graduation. The usual grandma inquisition.”

Ethan just stares at her. If. If they’re getting married. He can’t help but laugh. “When, you mean.”

“Huh?”

“You mean, when we get married,” Ethan explains.

Now, they just stare at each other. This isn’t a conversation Shelly was expecting to have. At least not today. She can feel her cheeks getting warm and hopes her face isn’t giving away her emotions. Before she can reply, Erica is pulling Ethan back into their previous debate. “Remind me again why you think Hopper isn’t dead?”

Just like that, Ethan is heated in discussion, only pausing to take sips of his drink. But, his hand never leaves Shelly’s knee, not even when the food comes. Ethan had decided on the grilled chicken after much deliberation and Shelly opted for the salmon. She had only chosen the salmon because she knows that Ethan will end up eating half of it and leave half of his chicken for her.

After everyone’s eaten and gotten at least two drinks into their systems, the music gets louder and Sabrina appears on the dance floor with her husband. It’s sweet, watching them dance to a cheesy song that every girl wants as their wedding song. Eventually, more people join them on the dance floor, and it’s only a matter of time before Ethan is squeezing Shelly’s knee and smiling the way he does when he wants something.

“Dance with me?” he asks sweetly. “Pretty please? I want to twirl you around in that dress so bad.”

“Only if I get to twirl you around first.” Shelly laughs and lets Ethan lead her to the edge of the dancefloor towards the back where there are less people. Shelly rests her head against Ethan’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around her waist. The song playing is slow and sweet - not exactly the kind of song that one is twirled to. “Are you having a good time?”

Ethan nods and presses his lips to Shelly’s forehead. “Of course. I love your family. And I love you.”

Shelly presses her lips lightly to the side of Ethan’s neck, just below his ear. It’s so light that he hardly feels it. “I love you too.” She hesitates before she speaks again. “Should we talk about what you said before or should I just let is slide?”

“What? About wedding food being bomb? Because it was. I have to find out how they cooked that salmon and make Grayson make it for me.” He smirks. He knows exactly what Shelly’s talking about. He also knows that, the second the words left his lips, Shelly wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about them. 

“Oh, shut up,” Shelly mumbles. She tries not to found amused by her boyfriend’s teasing. “Nevermind, forget it.”

“No, no, not ‘forget it’,” Ethan replies and a squeeze to Shelly’s waist. “I know what you’re talking about. We can talk about it. If you want. I meant it, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”

“Meant it? Meant what?” Shelly looks up at Ethan.

“‘When we get married’,” Ethan says, repeating his earlier statement. “I wasn’t joking. I meant it. We’re getting married someday.”

Again, Shelly feels all of her blood and emotions fill up in her cheeks. She presses her face into Ethan’s neck. “Straight to the point, huh?”

Ethan instantly feels the warmth of Shelly’s skin and the tension in her muscles. He just wraps his arms tighter around her, so tight that he almost lifts her off of her feet. “We’ll talk about it later, okay? Don’t get all-”

“All what?”

“All Shelly and shut down,” Ethan states with a knowing smile as Shelly pulls herself away from where she was hiding in Ethan’s neck. He presses a long, warm kiss to her forehead. “Everything’s fine. We’re having fun, right?” Shelly nods. “Don’t let a small, simple conversation ruin your night.”

“E, marriage isn’t a small and simple-”

He interrupts her as the sound of clapping fills the room. “C’mon, they’re cutting the cake.” He looks down at her and kisses the frown off her face. “I love you, Shelly Bell.”

As frustrated as she may be, it’s impossible for her to not absolutely melt at the way he looks at her. Or when he uses that dumb nickname that she used to hate, but has learned to love. There are so many thoughts swimming through her head, but when she looks at Ethan, and when he looks at her, all she can think about is how much he means to her. 

The cutting of the cake is just as cheesy as Shelly imagined it would be. Cake gets everywhere, everyone laughs, and all Shelly can think about is her and Ethan in Sabrina’s place. It would be so fun to shove cake in Ethan’s face. To have him laugh and press his frosting covered face against hers. Everyone around them would be laughing, taking pictures, talking about how beautiful of a couple they are. When she looks to Ethan, only to see him looking back at her, she knows that he’s thinking the same thing. 

*

After hours of dancing and laughing, Shelly’s legs and abs feel the equivalent to the days when she would let Grayson lead her through one of his and Ethan’s workouts. Her feet ache and all she wants is to get naked, have Ethan beside her, and to sleep in until noon. She voices this to Ethan as they walk up her driveway. Erica gags behind them.

“I had to hear enough sappy shit on the ride home,” she complains as they wait for Shelly to unlock the door. “Please, please keep it down tonight. Save it for when you actually live together.”

Ethan and Shelly laugh as they all walk through the front door. They give Erica a quick goodnight before they’re making their way up the stairs to Shelly’s room. She’s quick to kick her shoes off as Ethan shuts the door behind them.

“God, I can’t wait to get out of these pants,” Ethan practically moans as he undoes his belt. “I can hardly feel my balls.”

“Want to unzip my dress?” Shelly asks, turning around to give Ethan access to the zipper. She can feel his fingers against the center of her upper back as he fumbles with the zipper. While it’s a gorgeous dress and she felt gorgeous wearing it, it feels even better falling town her waist and collecting at her sore feet. She groans as Ethan goes that extra mile and unclasps her bra as well. “You’re an angel.”

Ethan snorts as he begins to unbutton his shirt. “Says you.” He carelessly looks Shelly up and down, admiring the curves of her hips and the soft skin of her stomach. But, nothing beats the sight of her face. Her beautiful face that he can’t wake up to in the morning. Soon, every morning. The thought makes his smile spread wider across his face. He tosses his shirt onto the chair that Shelly uses in place of her laundry basket that’s always notably empty. “Can you take my pants off?”

He asks in the way that one asks ‘do you want waffles or pancakes?’ Shelly nods and watches as Ethan lays back on her bed, his head cushioned by the dozens of pillows. She yanks off his shoes, one by one, before yanking him down the bed by his ankles. It’s easier said than done, what with the boy weighing nearly two hundred pounds, but she manages to get him close enough so that she can reach his fly. 

“Damn, babe, was today arm day?” Ethan asks with a laugh as Shelly unzips his fly and starts tugging his pants down his legs. “I have to say, that was somewhat impressive.”

“It’s all your brother,” Shelly jokes as she manages to pull his pants over his feet. She tosses them in the same direction as his shirt and her dress. “He was teaching me how to like, bench or lift or whatever.”

“You’re cute.” Ethan yawns and crawls back up the bed. He curls his arm around one of Shelly’s pillows. As he gets comfortable, he reaches behind his back and shakes his hand in order to get his girlfriend’s attention. “C’mere. I’m cold.”

That’s a lie; Ethan’s always warm. It’s one of Shelly’s favorite things about him, especially come winter. In Ethan-speak, ‘I’m cold’ means ‘hold me’. So, Shelly does just that. She comes up behind him, knees tucking right behind Ethan’s, with her cheek against his rounded shoulder blade. Shelly takes a deep breath as she wraps her arms around Ethan’s torso.

“So, about what I said earlier,” Ethan mumbles. He’s so close to sleep; Shelly can practically hear it in his voice. She’s surprised that he’s bringing this up considering how tired he is. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I was just like, putting it out there.”

“You didn’t freak me out,” Shelly mutters stubbornly. “You just, I don’t know, caught me off guard.” 

Ethan snorts. “You lowkey got freaked out.” He gently takes Shelly’s hand and presses the back of it to his lips.

“I didn’t freak out,” Shelly demands. “We’ve never really talked about our future like that, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting it. It’s not like I’m against marrying you. Obviously I’m not against it.”

“I’d hope not,” Ethan replies before pressing another kiss to the back of Shelly’s hand. “We don’t even have to get married. I just want to be with you forever. If marriage isn’t your thing, I mean.”

“It’s not not my thing,” Shelly starts slowly. “I’ve just never met someone that made me want to get married. I’ve never been with someone that I could see myself marrying.”

After a few moments of heavy silence, Ethan turns over, careful not to crush or bend Shelly’s arms the wrong way. He stares at her for a moment before he gently runs his thumb under her eye, across her cheekbone. “Are you about to get all cheesy? Should I get some crackers? Some wine?”

Shelly rolls her eyes and smacks her boyfriend on the arm. “I won’t say anything, then. No cheese for your wine and crackers.”

“That’s fine, I’m dairy free,” Ethan teases, earning himself another smack on the arm. This sets him off. In a flash, he has Shelly trapped in his grasp as he tickles her sides. It’s her tickle spot, her sides. She regrets ever telling him about her tickle spot.

“Stop, E, please,” Shelly begs. She’s laughing so hard that tears are streaming down her cheeks and into her hair. If her abs didn’t ache before, they certainly do now. “Please, please, please. White flag, enough.”

“Okay, okay.” Ethan surrenders. He’s laughing nearly as hard, despite him not being the one getting tickled. “But, only because Erica’s going to think we’re fucking.”

For a moment, Shelly wants to point out that fucking wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world. But, then she remembers her sore abs and the feeling of sleep quietly calling her name. Instead, she pokes Ethan in forehead. “You’re so annoying. I’m never talking about feelings with you ever again.”

“Just admit that you want to marry me and you never have to talk about your feelings ever again.” Ethan grins from where he’s still planked on top of his girl. When she doesn’t budge, he lies down, letting all of his weight fall on her. “C’mon, just admit it, Shelly Bell.” 

Shelly grunts as her body is squeezed between her heavy boyfriend and her mattress. “You’re so obnoxious sometimes.” Her hands instinctually run up and down Ethan’s sides, feeling goosebumps grow beneath her fingertips.

“You love me even when I’m obnoxious,” Ethan points out. Shelly won’t admit it, but he’s not wrong. “You love me and you want to marry me. I already know it, so just say it and I’ll let you sleep.”

“If you know it, why do I have to say it?” 

Ethan raises a brow. “So, I’m right? You want to marry me? We’re gonna get married someday?”

Finally, Shelly gives in. With a sigh and a sleepy smile, she says, “Yes, okay, obviously I want to marry you. You and your stupid cute face. Now get off of me and let me breathe.” As Ethan rolls over onto his back, his face looking up at the ceiling, Shelly can’t help but start laughing. “I can’t believe I’m going to be stuck with your obnoxious ass for the rest of my life.”

“You’re stuck with me.” Ethan grins. “God, I can’t wait to marry you. Our wedding is gonna be so sick. A fucking rager.”

“Let’s try furnishing our apartment before we start planning a wedding, baby,” Shelly says as she pulls her duvet up her and Ethan’s bodies. “Want to be little spoon or big spoon?”

“Mm, can I just lay like this?” Ethan moves closer to Shelly, resting his head on her chest, throwing his arm across her stomach, and throwing his leg across her thighs. “I like when you’re my pillow.”

“I’ll be your pillow for the rest of your life, baby.” Shelly smiles and wraps her arms around broadness of the man’s shoulders. Ethan lifts his head and puckers his lips with his eyes still closed. Without speaking a word, Shelly ducks down and kisses the man that she’s somehow gotten herself stuck with. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

#m #so sorry if this is bad #its probably bad #ethan dolan #dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins fanfiction #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan fic #dolan twins oneshot #ethan dolan oneshot #my writing

[dimeforhispocket]

As if it’s Our Last (Part 1/2)

Nafla x fem!reader

Rating: Mature

Genre: some angst but a ton of fluff 

Word count: 12k

Summary: lifetime opportunities only come once, don’t they? 

Notes: situationship, implied sexual content, you can also read on my AO3

Situationship (as defined by our good friend, urban dictionary): a relationship that has no label on it, like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship

You can’t believe your ass. If God himself came to you in a vision and told you that your dream man of all your hip hop fantasies would find you and ask you to dance, you’d have laughed and said, “Thank you, I gotta write this down when I wake up.”

So when the man himself — the man whose voice is always echoing through your earphones, whose face is taped to your bedroom wall, whose albums have their own special decorated shelf — appears behind you in the darkness of the night club sending appreciative smiles at the way your body moves, you do a double take. A triple, even.

The first time because you wanted to make sure you weren’t so drunk that you started to hallucinate your favorite rapper’s face amidst the warm bodies up in the club, the second to check to see if he was sending the smile to anyone else. And when you blink back the surprise, you chance a smile back. You really don’t know what to expect at this point, or what to even think, but you’re floored by the steps he takes to dance closer to you.

With the way that he’s dancing, there’s no mistaking the flirtiness in his movements. You would read it as so if any other guy at the club tonight approached you in the same way. And as much as you want to relish the fact that the man beyond your dreams is actually hitting on you right now, you can’t hold back the excitement.

So without anymore restraint, you lean in to shout, “Wow, are you really Nafla?!”

You can just barely hear his soft laugh at your question before he smiles and nods, which is admittedly easier than shouting back his answer. You dramatize your responding “oh my god, I love you” as you continue to dance beside him.

He smiles back like he knows, and you can see his lips move around the words ‘thank you.’ You really need a good ten minutes to just take all of him in; his face, his aura, his clothes, his height, his skin, his body, how comfortable he is just dancing in this surprisingly respectful crowd. You suppose it makes sense since this is one of the more high-end clubs in the city, so the clientele is a little more mature than all the ones frequented by the college and fresh graduate crowd.

You need those minutes, but one of your favorite songs comes on and it is physically impossible for you not to enjoy it and pull out all your best dance moves. So you cry happily at the song transition and let your body roll and pop and bounce to every bass boost, hand clap, and drum that bumps the room with energy. As you dance, you steal glances back at Nafla every so often to see if his attention is still on you, and to your delight, he seems like he hasn’t looked away.

God, are you really not dreaming right now? Are you really dancing with Nafla from MKIT RAIN after he just showed up beside you like any other regular dude trying to pick up a girl at the club? Is he really just trying to pick you up right now? Here of all places? Out of all these people? Really, truly, what are the odds?

You dance together for a couple more songs and just enjoy the vibe together because this DJ’s set just keeps getting better and better. It’s like he based the entire thing off of playlist in your own music library — which is something you were hoping for when you came in tonight, since you researched him online before coming to this club in hopes that he’d play something similar. But it all feels too good to be true; you’re dancing with your favorite K-hiphop rapper to some of the best music in this amazing club, and no one is bothering you two. It’s as if no one recognizes him or just doesn’t care that Nafla is here, dancing like a regular attendee.

So to roll with the motions of dancing with a guy who’s interested in you, you let him dance closer and closer to you until he’s got his hands on you. And wow, he’s not the biggest guy, but he’s got some of the firmest hands you’ve ever felt on your hips right now. He’s keeping a respectful couple of inches between you, so you bring your arms to wrap around his neck to show him you’re fine with closing the distance.

He’s kind of a tease, because even when you try to inch closer, rub your hips towards him, dancing a little more sensually to the music playing, he kind of just lets you. And when he doesn’t make a move to touch you further, you start to lose your courage. Maybe he isn’t trying to pick you up after all?

However, in a last ditch effort, your courage spikes again with the start of another one of your favorite jams and you move your hands down his shoulders and arms and twirl sensually in his grip until your back is to his chest. When the chorus peaks, you arch your back and move your ass across his hips like you’re trying to smear him in your pheromones.

To your delight — and relief — he grinds back, and it’s like a switch has been flipped in him. While he had cautious hands before, now they’re rolling all over the length of your body. He’s touching at your sides, your thighs, your stomach, your arms, and you feel your skin tingling with excitement as he gets closer to your crotch. “I like watching you dance.” He surprises you with the surprise murmur by your ear.

“I like you dancing on me.” You say back, hoping he heard you through the music. You’re inclined to believe that he did, with the way that he responds by pushing your thighs back to bring your ass harder against his hips.

And suddenly, your brain sounds louder than the entire club, because you’re internally screaming to yourself that you have Nafla’s bulge pressed into your behind. Nafla is grinding against you like he’s trying to take it further. Oh god, what are you to do? Will your dreams of becoming one of Nafla’s bedroom groupies come true??

It’s not long before he turns you back around in his arms to hug you closer, ask you for your name, exchange a few more flirty words lip-to-ear, and then exchange spit lip-to-lip. He tastes amazing. The different mixed alcohols and sodas mask it, but he’s got a manly and robust taste about him. You can’t even begin to describe it, so you just taste. You move your lips in tandem with his and let his tongue peek into your mouth every so often.

He’s a better kisser than the average guy at the club, which gives you reason to believe that he’ll be even more talented in other ways. The way he holds you makes you feel enveloped in him, like his arms and scent and presence just pull you in to completely surround you. Your own hands trail up his back and hold onto his shoulders as he kisses you further, making you dizzy in a way that the alcohol never could.

Your heart is jumping in your chest not only because freaking Nafla is kissing you, but also because he’s kissing you so good. Is this what it feels like to make out with someone you’ve only been able to fantasize about? Is it truly possible for dream men to fall right into your lap and give themselves to you? God, no one will believe you if you retell this to someone. You’re still not 100% sure that this is really Nafla and that this is really happening to you right now.

But when he pulls away with the most satisfying smacking sound, you blink at that unmistakable face and listen to that irreplicable voice when he leans back in to say, “You taste so good.”

If he wasn’t practically holding you up as he pulled you in to kiss you again, you might’ve actually fainted on him. Fuck, how can he say that to you?? This feels so, so dangerous and comparable to a high that can only be achieved by drug intake. Because you’re absolutely hooked onto him right now.

You kiss for who knows how long, and you don’t even know if the music is good anymore. Nafla eventually pulls away though, only to lean in to ask, “Wanna get outta here with me?”

Yes!!!!!

Absolutely yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God, a fucking million times yes. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, when are you ever going to get a chance like this again?? Fuck!!!

But— “I can’t.” You squeeze your eyes together like you’re in pain, “I can’t leave my friend tonight. I promised.”

“Ah.” Nafla sounds and looks disappointed, though maybe not as much as you are.

Before you can stop yourself, you lean in to say, “But if you wanna come back tomorrow night… I can meet you here.” You hope to God that that didn’t sound desperate.

He smiles at you like an adult does at a kid when they propose something silly, but leans in anyway, “I can’t make it.”

You dramatically tilt your head to the side with a pout before leaning in again, “That’s a shame.” Then a quick glance over to the door between the table area and the bathrooms has your mouth running again before you can think, “How about a quick trip to the back then?”

You tilt your head again in a way that you hope looks cute and alluring, and Nafla stares at you for a moment before breaking into a small chuckle again and nodding, “Sure.”

When you pull his hand across the back of your waist into your hand, you swear you feel sparks. Enough to make the fire in your core light up. You giggle and turn around towards the door you spotted earlier. On the way, you spot your friend at the bar talking to someone, so you quickly talk in her ear, “I’ll be right back” and send her wink before leading Nafla to the back.

Now, you’ve never actually been behind this door, so you don’t know what to expect. But you are somewhat relieved when you open it to find a small, dim hallway rather than a dusty, tight supply closet. The door on the other side probably leads to the parking lot out back or possibly more storage.

But you figure this is private enough, so you put rest your back against the wall and Nafla follows to close the door and press his chest into yours. “You’re a wild one, huh?”

“You followed me here, didn’t you?” You shrug, putting your arms around his neck again, waiting for him to come in for another kiss.

“True,” he agrees, coming in to gently caress your nose with his, “I’m curious.” And he’s kissing you again, in that absolutely perfect way that he does. You already knew that the guy has some talented lips, what with the music he puts out, but this is a whole ‘nother art form. He kisses you like he’s known you for ages, like he loves you or something, and you are so far gone into him that you can’t do anything else but fall.

Can all of your hopes and dreams really come true like this? Nafla is already here and interested in you and he’s good at this?? You want so badly to find out more, more about him and how amazing he is in all kinds of ways. This unbelievable proximity just drives your insatiable hunger to learn more about him in ways that you won’t be able to find online. You’re so excited that you can feel your knees buckling beneath you.

And when he puts his hands on you, fuck , he’s as good with those as he is with his mouth. He puts the perfect amount of pressure on your breasts as he rolls them in his fingers and palms. When he starts moving down to kiss at your neck, you wonder if it’s becoming too much. This is all becoming too unreal. Like— Nafla’s hand is trailing up your dress.

He teases you for a good couple of minutes until you start to beg him, which he seems to find amusing. When you’re both finally worked up enough on each other’s touches and heavy breaths, Nafla pulls his pants down and approaches you until—

“Wait.” You stop him by the shoulder, “Don’t you have a condom?”

“No, I don’t.” He says, “I wasn’t planning on doing anything here, but I… had a change of heart.” He locks you in with his bedroom eyes. Fuck. “But I’ll be careful.” He starts to lean back in.

“Stop… Stop.” You have to say it twice because your voice barely came out the first time. You’ve lost a lot of strength just being with him for a few minutes like this. But you have to make yourself clear, so you clear out your throat before continuing, “Look, I think you’re so cool and so fine, and I can’t even believe I’m here with you right now. But I don’t care who you are, I’m not letting you in here unless you have one on.”

You’re breaking your own heart by saying this, but no matter whose dick it is, you still have to take care of yourself. You’ve followed this man for years, but you still don’t really know much about him. Who knows how many people he’s slept with? Or if he’s clean? Or if he’ll be there for you should something happen? You love him, but… you still have to be careful.

Nafla takes a moment but backs away with a sigh, “I get that.”

But before he can zip up his pants again, you say, “I can give you a little suck though.” And to prove it, you drop to your knees on this somewhat gross floor and look up at him with the soft, fluttery eyes that you’ve practiced over the years to put men under your control.

Much to your satisfaction, Nafla is no different to the effect, and he lets out a shaky breath before combing his fingers through your hair. “Fine,” he says.

So you flash him the most sultry smile in your artillery — also one you’ve been honing for a good amount of time — and by the time he’s in your mouth, he might as well have been pleading with the desperation you see in his eyes. Needless to say, you give him the time of his life, and you know that you’re going to be replaying these noises he makes in your head for weeks to come. You’re making Nafla feel good and he’s totally about to come apart in your hands.

When he finishes and you come back up with the most cheeky smile on your lips, Nafla groans as he pulls you in for another kiss, “God, I wanna fuck you so bad right now.”

Fuck, so do you. So bad. Hearing him say that right to your face, you really wish you had prepared a few condoms of your own. But this dress doesn’t have the storage capacity for that and it’s not like you were planning to get freaky tonight anyway. How the fuck were you supposed to know Nafla was going to come right up to you and practically beg to get in your pants tonight?? Of all nights.

“Mm, I know the feeling.” You manage to say between more kisses.

“You’re so good with your mouth.” He grunts, “I bet you sound real cute when you scream too.”

A shudder rolls down your back, and you have to catch your breath in a few dizzy chuckles, “Yeah, if you can make me.”

“Oh, believe me, I want to.” His voice is gravelly as he traces his lips up your neck back to your ear, “You sure you don’t wanna come back with me tonight?”

You whine, letting your head fall back against the wall, “I do. So bad. But I can’t leave my friend on her own. Not tonight.” You regrettably shake your head, then comb your fingertips through his hair that’s faded with color. “Too bad, I could’ve been the best lay of your life.”

Nafla breaks out in laughter at your nonchalant confidence and comes in to kiss you again. This time, you can feel a shift in his mood, like his kiss is full of newfound conviction, “Fuck it,” he breathes, taking out his phone from his pocket, “Come meet me tomorrow night.”

“What?” You’re confused and dumbfounded, because it sounds like your dreams may still come true.

“You better prove to me that you deserve that title,” he leans in to press his forehead to yours, and you both laugh.

You feel like you should expect to wake up from your dream soon, since the best part is clearly coming up — that’s when you’re usually rudely awakened during a fantastic dream. But Nafla’s touch just feels too real, too sweet, too feasible to be imagined. You’ve never felt like this when touched by someone before.

And when he lets you go for the night to return to your friend, you still can’t believe what just happened to you. You dance with her for the rest of the night like nothing out of the ordinary happened to you and when you go home, you check your phone again to confirm it. Yes, Nafla’s contact info is actually there, and the MKIT RAIN rapper actually did send you a private message and a location on where to meet him tomorrow night.

It’s unreal. Completely unbelievable.

*

He sent a follow up text earlier in the day to bring a swimsuit (with a winky face) so obviously you spent the entire day swimsuit shopping after you woke up from your night out. There’s technically nothing wrong with your plain two-piece — it looks rather good on you — but if Nafla was going to see you in it, you’d like to know if there are better options for you.

After several hours going all over the city in search of something impressive, yet still you, you found a simple, but stylish bikini set. The design made it a little provocative, but it otherwise covered everything it needed to cover, and stably at that. You were quite happy with your choice and you honestly couldn’t stop staring at yourself in the mirror for a good half hour before you finally started getting ready to leave.

And now you’ve shown up to the address in a little black dress since you realized you knew nothing else about what to expect and you can’t go wrong with a universal look. Though now that you’ve shown up to this grand hotel building, you’re starting to get nervous. When you reach the 35th floor like Nafla said in his text, you follow the signs that point to the rooftop bar and pool lounge. And you’re stopped by an usher.

Or receptionist? Or guard?? He didn’t tell you this was an invitation exclusive event!! You are clearly not part of any important lists!!!

When the usher asks for your name, you nervously tell them you were invited by Nafla and show them the text messages he sent you as reference or evidence. Whichever works. “Okay, I’ll just write you down as part of MKIT RAIN’s party then. They’re not here yet, but you can come in first.”

“Thanks…” you say as you slowly trudge into the enormous rooftop space.

The place is bumping . There’s a DJ, drinks and food platters everywhere, people dressed in party casual or provocative swimwear, and what’s tripping you up the most is that… there are famous people everywhere . You know almost all of these guests!! Not personally, but through your computer screen, your music library, your social media, everything that connects you to your favorite artists in Korea… and for some reason, they’ve all congregated here tonight… in one place…

And you were invited…

So when that receptionist said she’d add you under MKIT RAIN’s party, that must’ve meant everyone from all the other labels are here too?? Fucking unbelievable. Suran and Hoody are talking over drinks by the pool, at least three of the MBA guys are crowding the bar, DJ Pumkin is joining the current DJ in prep to transition to his set — and you now realize that the current DJ was actually Primary. All of these amazing people are here, and there’s a number of other individuals you don’t recognize or know but are all intimidatingly attractive, and you’re beginning to feel less and less like you’re supposed to be here.

So obviously the first thing you do is make straight for the bar and order a double shot of vodka and orange. You offer up your card but the bartender says all the drinks are paid for tonight. “Oh. Thank you.”

“The bar’s always free during an event like this. You new or something?” A voice chuckles beside you, and you almost spit out your vodka when you turn to see Jay Park speaking to you.

“Holy fucking shit.” You curse, wiping at the droplet that escaped the corner of your mouth. “Jay Park?”

“Yeah.” He gives you a weird smile, like it’s obvious, “So you are new?”

“Clearly.” You take another gulp of your drink, “I was uh… invited by someone. But I didn’t realize it was gonna be such a big event. I’m starting to wonder if I’m actually allowed to be here.”

“Oh, well if you’re here with a friend, then you’re clearly welcome. Who you here with?” Jay Park is asking you questions and trying to make you feel welcome. Are the gods giving you a little too much right now? Is there a catch?

“N-Nafla…” you don’t know if you should be name-dropping like that, but what else are you supposed to do? You’re not affiliated with anyone else — that is, if you can even consider what you assumed was a booty call an affiliation with the guy.

“Nice! I don’t think those guys are here yet, but feel free to hang around and mingle. You don’t gotta be too nervous.” Jay reassures you and raises his glass for you to clink with him.

You smile appreciatively and tap your drink against his before taking another swig. In a normal situation, if the Jay Park appeared before you, you would attack him with a slew of questions and professions of love as a fan, but you can’t really do that here on a rooftop full of celebrities and their friends. It would take the whole night and you’d look idiotic, maybe to the point of getting kicked out.

That is the last thing you want, especially when you haven’t even seen Nafla yet tonight. This has really turned into a lot more than a lucky lay with your favorite rapper. Jay’s chatter with his other friends fades into background noise as you continue to scope the area for a head of a faded red hair, and simultaneously wonder how you’re supposed to approach anyone here when you don’t know a single soul personally.

However, the answer comes to you suddenly when one of your favorite mainstream hip hop songs starts playing — you’ll just do it like you do at the club, by dancing. “I like this song.” You announce to no one in particular. Quickly, you finish your drink and set it back on the counter before swinging around in your chair to approach the small dance floor area surrounding the DJ booth with a beat to your step.

The crowd is rather small compared to the club even on a slow night, but it’s enough to let you blend in as you start moving your hips and limbs in casual tandem with the song Primary is playing. You don’t know a lot of the faces in this crowd, so you’re guessing a lot of the girls here may be dates or close friends or staff also invited to join the party. They all seem perfectly capable of having a good time, at least.

Pretty soon, you’re starting to feel the groove mix in with the starting waves of the vodka, and you dance with slightly less inhibitions than you started with. Some of the other dancers are even encouraging you and letting you join in. They even start a little dance circle in the middle of the floor to let everyone show off a bit, and obviously you can’t disappoint, so you throw out a few of your better moves to get some loud encouragement. It works, and you’re dancing along like it’s just another night out — only with a super higher end crowd.

As it turns out, it’s as easy to attract famous guys as it is to attract regular guys at the club when you know how to dance a little and dress up nicely. They just come to you, trying to dance with you, offering you drinks, asking your name, the works. You’re friendly to them all — and the girls too — though you do your best to keep to yourself when guys look like they’re seriously trying to approach you.

Which is fucking hard, because hello?? Some of these guys you actually listen to on the daily on your commutes to work and for your workout playlists!!! Temptation is everywhere tonight, especially when it’s just coming right up to you, but you’re here for one man and one man only. No amount of liquor is going to make you forget that tonight.

Though you are caught by surprise when someone’s drink ends up splashing across the entire front of your dress. There was some sort of accident that sent the drink owner tumbling back and spilling his sangria all over you. Now there’s a commotion over you and the guy who spilled the drink on you is apologizing profusely. However, you’re far gone enough to reply with a calm laugh, which seems to surprise the people around you a bit. “It’s cool, I’m fine. But uh…” You look around, wondering what the hell you’re gonna do now in a wet dress.

Until your eyes land on the pool. “I’m just gonna…” You point your thumb over to the pool that overlooks the edge of the hotel roof, “wash it off, I guess.”

“Uh, yeah. For sure…” The guy replies. He’s in the middle of offering to have your dress replaced but stops mid-sentence when you start unzipping the garment by a lounge chair.

When you pull the whole thing off of your shoulders and drag it down to step out of it to lay on the back of the lounge chair, you hear a few cheers and whistles. “Guess you were prepared, at least.” Someone comments. Was that a fucking producer whose beats you hear on the regular??

You just laugh with a shrug before stepping towards the pool. Looking down at your now bikini-clad body, you see some of the red wine still trailing down your skin as you take the few steps up to get into the long, somewhat narrow pool. Some of it ended up in your hair too, it seems.

There is a small number of people in the pool too, but it looks like they’re all chatting with each other in their groups of friends, so you kind of just wade around and let the pool water wash away the remnants of the sangria from your skin. You also take a few moments to relish in the absolutely gorgeous view of the city from here. The question keeps coming back to attack you: are you really here right now?

Is any of this real? How did you end up in a place where all these incredible artists are just here to chill with their own friends? Was Nafla right in his head last night when he invited you to come here? Gosh, you can’t even begin to wonder how you’ll get through the rest of this night.

While you’re sinking into your thoughts, you kind of just let your head submerge under the water too. Might as well get the wine out of your hair as well, and your makeup is waterproofed enough to withstand a short submersion. Right when you come up for air though, you hear a voice nearby that you’ve been listening for all night.

Turning around, you spot him, right by the other lounge chairs near the dance floor, “Nafla!” The brightest, dopiest smile stretches across your face. You must look way too eager. And that’s when you remember you must also look like a wet seal or something right now since you just popped out of the pool.

He calls your name back in response, obviously surprised to see where you came from. “Hey,” you try to dial down the smile a few watts as you approach the edge of the pool. There’s a marble step used as a seat in the way though, so you just stand on it with your knees and let your upper torso emerge from the pool as well as you lean your hands and forearms on the edge. Arching forward as if it’ll get you closer to hear him when it’s really just your own eagerness jumping out, you take a breath to calm yourself, “I uh… I’ve been looking for you.”

“Oh, this is the guy you’ve been waiting for all night?” One of the guys who was on the dance floor with you earlier and was probably having a conversation with Nafla and his friends at first (you try to ignore the fact that several of the MKIT RAIN members are standing right here in front of you too, on top of all the other excitement), pats him on the back. “Lucky you, dude. She really knows how to dance.” He praises.

“Ah…” You shyly chuckle back, running a hand down your wet hair.

“Yeah, I know.” Nafla agrees with a playful, yet somewhat secretive smile. “But you decided to take a dip instead of kicking it on the dance floor?”

“Oh, uh, my dress… it got wet. So I just came in to clean the wine off.”

“Oh my god, yeah dude. You should’ve seen it! Junho was trying to pull that move, you know that one? And then—“ The guy from the dance floor explains the encounter for you, so at least you have a witness instead of sounding stupid that you now no longer have clean clothes for the evening.

“Ah, that sucks. Well, you can use one of the hotel robes or something later, it’s probably not a big deal.” Nafla suggests, “Unless you wanted to keep swimming?”

“No, no. It’s cool. I— I want to join you.” You wonder if it’s too bold of a statement to make, but what else can you say when you mainly came here on the pretense of fucking him tonight?

He doesn’t seem to take any offense to it though as you step out of the pool. You try to wring out as much water as you can from your hair and skin before dance floor guy comes up and offers you a towel. “Thank you.” You smile gratefully at him as you carefully dab at your face as not to smear the makeup.

“No problem.” He smiles back.

“Hey, so you wanna go grab another drink first?” Nafla pipes up and takes back your attention.

“Yeah, definitely.” You nod, wrapping the towel around yourself before following Nafla back to the bar. You let him order something for you, and he grabs both drinks before leading you to the cushioned lounge chair area again. You both sit on the same side of the same chair in view of the dance floor and the pool and a lot of the rest of the party, but it’s not too loud here so you can talk without problems.

“Looks like you’re popular wherever you go.” He comments jokingly as he hands you your drink.

“You think so?” You smile behind your cup as you take a sip. It’s sweet, but strong. A nice choice.

“Yeah, maybe I should've gotten here earlier.” He leans back on his hands but keeps his eyes on you, “Then I could’ve kept you to myself. Now everyone’s interested in you.”

“As if, I’ve been here for like, half an hour.” You roll your eyes and set down your drink between you two on the chair.

“Half an hour? On the dance floor?” Nafla says with an incredulous smile, “It’s a wonder you haven’t already run off with some other dude.”

“You know what, that wouldn’t even be a problem if you didn’t just throw me to the wolves like this.” You joke, “What did you expect me to do at this huge ass party full of chart toppers and girls who look like they belong in hip hop music videos? I’m so out of place!”

“Yeah right, you could be in any music video and outshine anyone there.” Nafla’s flirty tone is back, which you kind of love but still can’t believe. “You were doing just fine before I got here.”

“Shut up.” You hide behind another sip of your drink, “And it’s about time you came. I didn’t come here for just anybody.”

“Oh yeah?” He cocks his eyebrows at you with a smirk, “Who is it that you came for?”

You almost roll your eyes again at that one, but before you can come up with a witty answer, you’re joined by a few guests. All of whom happen to be amazingly talented and have you frozen in your seat from being star struck.

“What’s up, Fla~”

“Yooo.”

“Wassuuupp y’all.”

Nafla groans beside you, but he welcomes his friends to the lounge chairs beside you guys anyway. You’re trying to keep your breathing under control and your giant smile bitten down in your jaw. That is fucking Loopy, Kid Milli, and Young West sitting across from you. And mother fucking Bloo took up the last bit of space on your lounge chair beside Nafla.

For a minute or so, the boys all talk amongst each other as if you’re not there, and you don’t even realize it because you’re staring at them in awe, just listening to all these famous artists having a regular conversation like some sort of miracle unfolding before you. Until someone brings you up, that is. So Nafla introduces you by name, “We just met yesterday.”

“Hi.” You wave awkwardly.

Some of them say hi back, but they don’t really pry into the specifics of why Nafla invited you here despite only having met you yesterday. They instead decide to ask you questions about yourself, which is relatively painless. “Do you go to school or work in Seoul or something?”

“No, actually I’m just here on vacation.” You go on to explain that you have a full time job in your home country, and that you’re leaving in a couple of days. “But I have a few friends who live here, so I’m visiting them and going out and having fun with them. Never would I have imagined I’d get to meet freaking Nafla and everyone else here.”

A few laughs and other topics go by and then Bloo asks, “So is dancing part of your job too? Because I saw you at first and you really know how to move.”

“Actually,” you laugh, “I do have a part time job as a dance instructor at the gym. I used to dance a bit in college so the gym’s a good way to help me keep up with it. Though the club helps too.”

“Wow, it’s no wonder you’re so good.” A few boys coo in awe of you, though it honestly sounds a lot cooler than it actually is to live your day-to-day life.

As the conversation goes on, the strong need to blurt out your love as a fan to each and every one of them dies down with how naturally the talking and laughing flows. But you kind of break the nice pace for yourself when you let out a sharp gasp at the sight of someone.

“What is it?” Nafla asks, and in your rush of excitement, you end up slapping your hand on his thigh in order to get a hold of his hand.

“Is that freaking Beenzino over there??”

“Oh, yeah, it is. Fresh out of the army.” Loopy turns around to confirm that it is indeed the man who took over your mind during your college years.

“Okay, I think I might actually die in a minute.” You stare Nafla in the eye with a serious expression, “I’m sorry, I’ve been trying really hard to keep cool while I’m around you guys and not creep you out, but my facade is crumbling now because I have liked that guy since I was in high school.”

You turn away from them to take a deep gulp of your drink and attempt to suppress your excitement further, but it’s getting real hard now. Beenzino is here, and he’s fucking tall. And more handsome than pictures can even try to portray.

“Wow, looks like Fla’s got some competition now.” Loopy chuckles before he takes a sip of his own drink.

“Oh my god, no. I love him and Stephanie together. They’re the cutest.” You wave off that comment, “But still, I’ve only ever seen him in concert. This is fucking unreal. This whole thing is unreal. The fact that I’m talking to you guys right now is unreal. I’m surprised I haven’t puked.”

You’re babbling. All of the nerves and excitement are slowly starting to trickle out and you need to find a way to cap it before Nafla and the others get too put off. “Do you wanna talk to him?” Nafla offers.

“No.” You scoff as if it’s obvious, “Do you think I’m capable of talking without freaking out right now?”

“Hey, hyung! Beenzino-hyung!” Bloo calls out and waves his hand to get the rapper’s attention.

“Oh my god.” You breathe.

“Hyung, come here for a minute.” Bloo waves him over, and dear lord, he’s actually approaching. Fuck.

“Bloo, you turd ball!” You don’t know why you said that, but anything else would’ve been too serious. “I’m not ready for this.”

“It’s cool,” Nafla laughs, “Just say hi and that you’re a fan. Like whatever you’d say if you met him on the street.” He shrugs.

“Hey, guys.” Beenzino comes over and greets everyone with a catch of the hand and chest bump in the way he does. “What’s up?”

“So, our friend here,” Bloo introduces you, “really likes you, and she really wanted us to ask you to come here so she could talk to you.”

Oh. My. God.

That is mortifying. You give Bloo an incredulous and offended look, but he just smiles and waves at you to greet your idol of young adulthood. You look to Nafla for a last desperate call for help, but he just smiles at you. Guess you have no choice.

Taking a deep breath, you turn and stand to greet the Beenzino himself, “Hi, I’m such a big fan.” You give him your name, your hometown and country, and tell him how long you’ve been following him for.

“Wow, thanks for all the love. I’ve actually been to your country before, it’s a really beautiful place.” He says.

“Oh, thank you.” You laugh nervously, “Well, we’re always excited to see you perform, so… Yeah, I can’t wait to go to another concert of yours. They’re always so fun.”

He asks you to elaborate and you go on to mention the concerts and festivals you’ve been to see him in the past several years, and he’s thoroughly impressed and/or creeped out. You can’t tell because you’re worrying about talking too much or quickly now. When he thanks you again, you decide to go out on a limb and ask, “Can I… Can I have a hug?”

“Yeah, sure, of course.” He holds his arms out for you and you accidentally let out a small squeal before falling into his strong embrace. Wow, you are really hugging the man of all your college dreams right now. While on a night call with the man of you current dreams. Funny how life works out.

“Thank you,” you say breathlessly as you pull away.

“No problem, always grateful for the love and support. Here, why don’t we take a picture together?”

“Really??” Your eyes must be sparkling right now, and you snap your head back to look at the other guys who have just been watching your little exchange if they weren’t preoccupied with their phones or something.

“Here, I’ll take it.” Bloo offers, standing up and holding his phone up to snap the picture.

“Oh, okay. Thank you.” You move in to get closer to Beenzino to take the photo, before realizing you’re still wearing a towel around your body. “Wait, hold on.” You pull the towel off and throw it onto the back of the lounge chair before scooting in to wrap your arm around the rapper’s waist while he puts his arm around your shoulders.

“One, two, three.” Bloo counts. My god, your smile might take over your whole face in this photo. You want to curse and thank him for calling him over for you.

When the picture is taken and Beenzino takes his leave, you take your seat again next to Nafla and without thinking, bury your face into his neck as you take a calming breath. “Oh my god, I can’t even breathe…”

“Wow, your face is really warm.” Nafla mentions, bringing a hand up to stroke at your cheek.

“Hey, congrats though!” Bloo announces, “You got a pic with Beenzino-hyung. I’ll send this to Fla to send to you later.”

“I can’t believe you just did that to me.” You raise your head to strike Bloo with an accusing glare, “But thank you.” You relent with a sigh and take another gulp of your drink.

“You’re welcome.” He says proudly.

“Oh my god,” you close your eyes briefly before turning to Nafla again, “There’s too many amazing people here, I’m not cut out for this. I’m gonna start screaming any minute now.”

“Save it, I’ll take care of that later.” Nafla says with a hand on your thigh, which is suddenly a lot warmer on your skin now that the towel is off. It slips out of his mouth so casually that you can’t do anything but stare at him, in complete awe. And something else. Something else that stirs in your body and between your legs. How did that smooth and curt comment suddenly flip a switch in you?

The other guys seem as dumbstruck as you are, but it only takes them a second to bounce back and start shouting at Nafla about being a dog or being vulgar or whatever. You, however, are still staring until his playful little chuckle breaks you, and you burst into giggles in his neck.

After a few chuckles, you lean up to whisper into his ear, “Can I kiss you right now?”

You don’t expect to feel so relieved when he replies with a casual but throaty, “Yeah,” before leaning in kiss you first. It’s a long one, tangled with teasing nips and pressure play, and you didn’t realize how much you needed this. Amidst all this excitement, and worrying about keeping your cool, trying to keep a conversation going with all these celebrities you admire but don’t actually know, you had almost forgotten why you were really here.

“Okay, guess that’s our cue.”

“Yeah. Later, guys.”

“You have fun now, kids.”

You pull away from Nafla when you hear the guys leaving, but you don’t come apart without a puckered smacking sound. It’s embarrassing, but you do feel obligated to at least say goodbye to his friends who were nice enough to talk to you. “Oh, okay. Bye! It was nice meeting you.”

Nafla exchanges a few other words with the guys about who knows what, but when they step away his attention right back on you. He watches you stare at him, letting your eyes roam all over his face with a curious pucker in your lips. But eventually he breaks into a gentle laugh again, calling you cute before leaning in to kiss you once more.

This time, the kiss lasts for quite a while. You have no idea how much time passes, but you know it’s been awhile because when you finally pull away and open your eyes again, they’re a bit sensitive to the lights outside. Or maybe it was just Nafla making you dizzy with his mouth. You’re impressed that the kissing managed to stay rather chaste — or chaste as you could keep it in public.

Both your hair and his are a bit mussed from having each other’s hands in it, your faces are flushed, and obviously both your lips have a visible swell to them. Nafla shows an impressive self-restraint similar to what he had at the club last night; he didn’t put his hands anywhere scandalous, but he did pull your thighs onto his lap. If you just adjusted your sitting position a bit, you would be sitting right on him. And god, you kind of really want to. Would that be too much?

“Do you have to stay long?” You ask in a rather weak voice.

“Mm, no. Not really.” He kisses you again, “It’s just a party for a Korean holiday, but I’m just surprised that so many people were able to make it.”

“Do you want to stay and talk to your friends?” You offer, “It must be rare to have everyone together like this. You should catch up with people.”

“And what? Leave you alone to get swept up by all these other guys?” He says playfully, hugging you closer by your waist.

You giggle at the slight possessiveness, absolutely loving it, “I’ll just go dance. Or swim. Or eat. Whatever, there’s a ton of things for me to do here. I’ll be fine. You should enjoy yourself too. Talk to your friends.”

“You sure?” He lowers his chin as he continues looking at you.

“Yeah, and tell you what; if you wanna check on me, just bring me over for a drink.”

“Well, alright. If you’re cool with it.” He sets you down on your feet and escorts you back to the bar first since you said you wanted more liquor. But he doesn’t leave without making a show of covering your shoulders with his jacket and whispering into your ear in front of the others, “Just come find me if you need anything.”

“Will do.” You thank him and he’s off before he can catch you taking a subtle whiff at his collar. It smells good.

You make light conversation with the bartender and get his story as you nurse your drink, but eventually, others begin to start up a conversation with you as well. You must be a topic of interest since you’ve been prancing around on Nafla’s arm and unabashedly making out with him by the poolside so far. So for the next hour, you introduce yourself however many times to so many different people; some of whom you know of, and some of whom you don’t.

By the time you’re down to your third drink since you got to the bar, you’re kind of high on liquor and clout. You have talked to more famous people in the past hour than you’ve ever encountered in your entire life, including the ones you’ve paid to see live. The mixed drinks in your body are making you giggly and the excitement of getting to talk to your favorite singers and rappers and producers is making you light-headed. So you turn down the next drink and conversation in favor of returning to the dance floor.

Slipping your arms into the sleeves of Nafla’s jacket, you relish how cool it must make you look — even though you’re wearing nothing by a bikini underneath. But there are other people dancing in swimwear and without shoes, so you probably don’t have to care. And you feel less and less obligated to when a great song comes up and you just ebb into the rest of the crowd.

You recognize some people here, or at least you think you do, because they sure recognize you. A few of them are welcoming you with shouts and gestures to dance with them, so you somehow manage to seamlessly join in with their group. Though if anyone asked you what their names were, you cannot for the life of you list even one of them. Which is freaking ridiculous because you know their voices and faces from your playlists and their music videos.

But then again, you’re here to dance, not think. So that is exactly what you do in an attempt to sober up even a little bit. People come and go to drink, smoke, eat, go to the bathroom, or whatever it is they go to do, but the atmosphere remains lively. This is probably going to be the party of your lifetime, the one you’ll remember forever and talk about over and over until your friends hate you for it.

You almost don’t want Nafla to pull you aside and take you back to his room and fuck you all night. Almost.

When he does pull you to the side to rest, you realize this is your first break in what must be… hours? Who knows. “Wow, you really know how to go off on that floor.”

“You think so?” You giggle, accepting the water he hands you and gulping it down without stopping for air.

“Do you not get tired? I’ve been watching you for a little while now.”

“When I go out, I go out all night.” You sweep your hand through the air as if to seal your proclamation. “But don’t worry, I still have energy to play around with you.” You lean in to tease.

“Well good,” he chuckles, “Why don’t we go then?”

“Okay!” You chime, taking his hand and letting him lead you back towards the lounge entrance.

However.

“Wait! Wait.” You tug on Nafla’s hand to stop him in his tracks and drag him back towards the dance floor when you hear your absolute favorite song start up. “After this song. Just this one.”

Nafla feigns an exasperated sigh but follows you with a smile. You don’t bother dragging him into the heart of the crowd, so you just linger on the side of the dance floor. But you’re still revved up on celebrity meetings, countless drinks, Nafla’s affection, and now your motherfucking favorite song in your whole music library.

You bust out your best moves and flirt with your body instead of your words this time. Nafla’s loose, unbuttoned jacket definitely helps you with the playfulness of it all when you let it slide down your shoulders to show off your skin and bikini before letting it slide back onto your arm with another big movement. Come the last chorus of the song, you’re dancing up to him and rolling your body right up into his, front and back, like you’re his own personal stripper or something.

All good things must come to an end, and you’re loathe for your best song to end, but Nafla is giving you a look like he’s ready to throw you onto the floor and have you right here and now. Guess that means you’ve teased him a bit too much, but you can’t help giggling when you readjust his jacket on your shoulders again. He barely lets you get it on right before slinking his arm around your waist and practically pushing you out of the lounge. There are some cheers and whistles behind you, but you’re still high off the evening and your own laughter.

Nafla keeps you hugged to his waist through the duration of the elevator ride and the walk to his hotel room. Your laughter settles along the way and you find yourself calming with every whiff of his cologne when you bring your nose close to his neck.

When the door closes behind you, Nafla chuckles, “Finally got you all to myself.”

“Give me one sec,” you say, making straight for the bed and flopping on to one side of it. You yank the duvet towards your body and roll over twice until you’re completely wrapped up in the blankets like a burrito on the other end of the bed.

Then you scream.

You let out a good, long cry and muffle it into the covers until you let all the excitement of the entire evening meeting all those stars and holding in your utter joy and amazement. You scream and even thrash around on the bed for a good thirty seconds or so before you roll back out of your blanket burrito and sit up.

Tossing your hair out of your face, you give Nafla a neutral look because he is definitely staring at you, “Alright, I’m good. I’m ready to see if you can actually make me scream all on your own.” You tease with a smile as you position yourself cutely on the bed.

Nafla stares for another few seconds before breaking out into laughter, “What the heck was that?”

“I had to get all that excitement out from this evening first!” You sigh as you collapse on your back, “I couldn’t just keep it all bottled up. Besides, it’d have given you a false start and I wouldn’t want that to get to your head.”

“Trust me,” he says as he climbs onto the bed to hover over you. His face is only a couple centimeters from yours, but it feels even closer than it was last night at the club. “I don’t need a head start.”

You can’t help it, you smile. After all that has happened to you tonight, you’re still exactly where you want to be. “Prove it.”

*

Thankfully, there were enough condoms available to you guys to use the entire time. You are impressed with both of you for going at it as long as you did. And you fucked around in the morning too. God, it was beautiful. It you could have one night never end, it would hands down be this night.

Nafla was quite the cuddler too. You woke up to the warm, inviting sensation of his arms around your waist and the sexy, sleepy groan of his morning voice when you tried to stretch your limbs while in his hold. When he had pulled you in and taken a deep whiff of your neck before rolling his body to lie on top of yours, you had to wonder again if maybe you hadn’t actually woken up yet. And if this would just be the best perpetual dream you’ve ever had.

But it was real. His morning wood was especially real, but you took care of it and thoroughly enjoyed sleepy Nafla for as long as possible before you both got up to shower. And soon, you come across a dilemma.

“Shit, I left all my stuff upstairs last night.” You realize. Your dress, your purse, your phone, your keys, your extra underwear, all of it. All you had to your name right now was the damp bikini from last night. You’re guessing that Nafla would want his jacket back.

“It’s cool, we can go back up and get it. I’m sure they kept it somewhere safe.” Nafla offers, coming up to hug you from behind and place a sleepy kiss on your shoulder. He is playing so unfair right now. How are you not supposed to completely fall in love with him?

He lets you get dressed up in one of the hotel robes before taking you back up to the rooftop lounge receptionist to ask about your forgotten belongings. There’s a bit of back and forth with you having to retrieve them from some other department of the hotel, but you do eventually get it all back; sangria stain and all. Luckily it’s not too visible through the black fabric, but you’ll still need to go through some trouble to get that cleaned later.

Nafla whistles when you slip it back on back in his room, “Wish I coulda seen you walk in with that last night.”

“What? Me popping out of the water half naked wasn’t sexy enough for you?” You chuckle, adjusting the straps and tossing your hair around with your hands in an attempt to make yourself resemble something tidy.

“It’s a tough choice to make.” Nafla says in low, sandy voice you had gotten to know quite well last night. It shakes you up even now, while you’re sore enough to stay in bed for another day.

As reluctant as you are to leave, you know that all great things must come to an end. You do, however, let him walk you downstairs to wait for your cab. Once in the lobby, you both hold off on any more physical contact, in the case that there are any onlookers. Not that it’d be hard to guess what happened between you two anyway, but still better not to fan the flames.

He waits with you outside of the hotel entrance for the taxi to come around, and you’re grateful to spend these last minutes with the boy of your dreams. “Thanks again, for letting me see you again.” You say while you can. “It was undoubtedly the best night of my life.”

“Well, it was a pretty great night for me too.” Nafla smiles back at you, “So I’m glad you came.”

“So am I. You’re the best.” You risk a quick squeeze of his hand as your taxi rolls around, “See you around.”

“Yeah, see you.” He lets your touch linger when you let go to step into the car and even closes the door for you!!

It’s only when the hotel is out of sight that you start squealing behind your purse. Your cab driver gives you a look but you don’t care. You literally just spent an entire night with your favorite Korean rapper of all time and he seemed like he had fun!!!! You can’t believe you got to fulfill your dream of being Nafla’s bedwarmer groupie.

Needless to say, you’re on a high for the next week, and you squeal to all of your friends about it, barely sparing a detail. “Has he texted you since then??”

“Well, I texted him telling him I got home safe, and he responded to that but that’s it.” You answer.

“Why didn’t you keep the conversation going??” One of your other friends demands, practically spilling her drink all over the table.

“Come on! He’s famous and he’s busy, and I was obviously just a night of fun.” You roll your eyes, “We said everything we needed to say while I was still there. If he wanted to continue talking, he would have!”

“Yeah, but—“

All kinds of arguments and discussions ensue about how you should go about it since you have his contact information. But you shut down all the opportunities they suggest because when it comes down to it, “I live and work somewhere totally different. What would we even talk about afterwards anyway? There’s no point trying to force it after the fact. It’d just make me look desperate, and I’d like to stay a good memory, thank you very much.”

Of course it didn’t stop at that, but it was the reality of the situation. And you wouldn’t dare to try changing any of it when you were already so grateful for the experience. You won’t ever forget him, or how much fun you had, or how well he treated you, and you’re glad that it came to an end as sweetly as it did.

*

Or how it was supposed to, at least.

You’ve just finished teaching your weekend dance sessions at the gym when you check your phone to see you’ve gotten some messages from the man you thought you left back in Seoul.

‘Hey. I forgot to send these to you a while back.’

The message is followed by several pictures of you standing beside Beenzino looking like a star struck sewer rat under the horrid lighting of the evening lamps in your bikini and damp hair. But the memories of the entire evening wash over you with a giddy electric current.

‘Omg i look like a wet dog but thanks!! I totally forgot about these’ you text back.

You hesitate with sending a follow up text, wondering if you should ask how he’s doing or mention an update about yourself or something. But eventually, you decide against it and stuff your phone in your pocket before grabbing your stuff to head out to your car.

Once you’re settled in your seat and about to start the car, however, you see that you’ve gotten another reply. You try to settle your trembling heart when you pick up the phone to read the messages.

‘I think they’re cute haha’

‘How’ve you been?’

“Oh my god!!” You squeal to yourself. You’re texting Nafla . Holy fucking shit, how is this even real right now?? Your fingers quickly fly over the screen to type your reply.

You gasp when he responds almost right away, and you follow up with your own response. And it just continues back and forth before you realize you’ve been sitting in your car in the gym parking lot for almost an hour. Your stomach is starting to protest so you order some food delivery, start the car, and make the drive home. You don’t think you’ll be able to focus on cooking tonight.

Somehow, you’re still texting Nafla when your pizza arrives, and when you get out of the shower and get ready for bed, and while you’re lying in bed when you know that you should be asleep already since you have work early tomorrow. But you don’t want the conversation to end. He’s so cute, and funny, and he makes it so easy to talk to him.

Eventually, you do fall asleep and have to follow up with his text in the morning. But luckily, since you didn’t end your conversation with ‘I have to go to bed,’ you’re able to continue talking to him throughout the next day. And the next. And the next. Honestly, you’re surprised that you’re both able to talk to each other for so long without running out of too much to say.

However, he does get busier as the week goes on, and so do you. Your replies become more spaced out while you’re both busy working or doing whatever, and the time difference makes the timing hard too. Until eventually, the conversation comes to a comfortable stop. It’s kind of convenient for you because you suddenly have a new project that you have to put a little more focus on, which you probably wouldn’t be able to if you were shaking in your seat waiting for Nafla — or Nick, as he said you could start addressing him — to reply.

You both kind of leave it at that for a while. You recall he mentioned he had some shows to do, and the schedule lineup on the MKIT RAIN website does make him and his friends look busy. Especially since he’s doing a lot more magazine shoots now, which you also plan to order and add to your collection. It was nice while it lasted, catching up with him. He’s starting to feel more like a friend you met in Korea rather than a rap star who has millions of fans across the world.

Still, you have to remember that he is someone who has many fans in his life. And many people in his life, including girls. You can’t hold your heart out for him just because he’s being friendly after your greatest one night stand in history.

You know this, but you still find it hard to stop thinking about him. And talking about him to your friends. They were excited to hear about your initial encounter, but they’re now on the more practical side and telling you to let him go, since there isn’t a high chance that you’ll get to see him again without going back to South Korea. So you settle into the reality of it, and do your best to let him go and out of your head.

*

And of course, just when you’re starting to get used to it, that’s when he texts you again. Out of the blue, after weeks of not speaking a word to each other. He sends a picture of a husky that’s hanging out at one of his recent work places.

‘I can’t look at huskies anymore without thinking about you lol’  

You chuckle aloud. You had gone on and on about how adorable you found huskies and bombarded him with facts about them and how much you wanted one of your own someday. And now, it seems it’s become a reminder of you for him.

‘How do you think i feel whenever i see anything that has to do with Coca Cola?’ You write back.

And just like that, it starts all over again. You guys talk into the night and the next few days about everything there is to talk about. You update each other on your lives and you start to miss him all over again. The more you talk to him, the more you want to switch gears and get a little flirty, send him a dirty picture or something. But you can’t interrupt this nice flow you two have going. You’re talking like you’re old friends and you won’t ruin this possible budding relationship — whatever it may be — between you because of your libido.

However, the conversation eventually fades out like it did last time, after over a week of texting each other regularly. And you’re back to square one.

Obviously, you rant to your friends about how you feel like you’re being strung along and don’t know what this even is that’s happening between you. “Do you think he’s just keeping in touch with me occasionally so that he’ll have a booty call ready if he ever comes here or something?” You wonder.

“It’s possible. You never know with famous dudes.” Your friend shrugs, taking a sip of her drink.

You reach over to steal one of her fries before continuing, “Should I keep talking to him? I really like him, but I doubt that anything practical or serious will come out of this.”

“Well, if you’re trying to look for something serious, then I’d say yeah, stop talking to him. But if you’re willing to keep messing around for a while, then just keep talking to him. See where it goes — if it ever goes anywhere, that is.”

You groan, tempted to drown into your own salad, “We haven’t talked in almost two months. Should I text first this time?”

“If you want to.” She shrugs.

“Thanks, so helpful.” You deadpan.

Your friend smiles back cheekily, popping another fry into her mouth, “You’re welcome.”

*

You text him first. Not out of desperation, but simply because you could use another opinion from someone who’s probably attended way more formal events than you have. A company banquet is coming up, and you’re helping host the event, so you can’t just show up in a regular old closet gown.

So you send Nafla three mirror selfies of the different dresses and ask him which one is most appropriate for a company holiday party. Your heart is pounding as you wait for the response, but luckily you’re not left to tremble for too long, because he responds within the hour.

And just like that, conversation picks up as usual, for days. This time, it almost lasts for three weeks, even with the laggy responses. By that time, your holiday party has happened and the new year is coming up. Unfortunately, you don’t get to share your happy new year texts with him because your conversation dies out just a little after Christmas, when Nafla is getting busy with all the holiday hip hop concerts. A shame.

So you sulk a little throughout the beginning of the year, until Nafla texts you again some time after Valentine’s Day. It’s the usual pattern again, but this time, about a week into the new conversation, he says the wildest thing you’ve ever heard.

‘I’ve got a couple of free days coming up. I was thinking of coming to visit your city’

Your heart stops when you read that text. You stare at it in complete shock, unable to move your fingers in a response before a follow up message appears:

‘Wanna be my guide?’

You scream into your living room, jumping around the room like you’ve just won the lottery. You’re probably bothering or worrying the neighbors, but who the fuck cares?? Nafla might be coming to visit you!!!!! You may get to see him again!!!!! Holy fucking shit!!!!!!!

Doing your best to tone down the exclamation points in your response, you answer that you would absolutely love to act as his guide and welcome him to your city. And for the next couple weeks, you busy yourself with organizing an itinerary on what to do and where to go with your favorite rapper, who’s flying into your country, your city, to see you .

Okay, there’s no guarantee that he’s actually only here to see you. Maybe he actually just wanted some time to travel on his own and explore a new place, and he wanted to go somewhere that he would have a trusted guide to bring him around. But come on, what other reason would he choose here of all places to go if not for you?

You try not to let it get to your head, but you are way too fucking excited to see him. Your friends are starting to get concerned for you.

“I can’t believe a famous Korean rapper is coming here to see you. If he’s not into you, then I’m gonna start drinking goat milk instead of water.” One friend says.

“Oh my god, are you going to stay with him while he’s here??” Another asks.

“And are you gonna let him in your pants again?” Another chuckles.

“Oh my god!” You shout, “Shut up. I’m playing it cool for now. I’ll take him to whatever hotel he wants to stay at, but I can’t assume that I’m gonna be with him the entire time.” You say logically.

They stare at you, waiting for you to follow up. So you break, “But I really do hope that he slams my guts again.”

All of you scream together and you just continue drown in your own excitement to see him again. You hope you can get it together by the time he actually arrives.

#nafla x reader #nicholas choi x reader #nafla #nicholas choi #mkit rain #khiphop scenario #yes i am aware that i have already used the meeting at the club premise but i like it #it's hard to write him in character tho which is why i made it so reader-centric #nutfla #mine #nafla scenario

[blanddcheadcanons]

I hope that you’re okay, and know hat whatever happens we’ll support you!💜

Can I be brutally honest? I'm really happy you're concerned and again I'm safe I'm just upset and sort of fluctuating. What I am is I'm functioning. I go to work where my coworkers love me and laugh at my jokes and I do what I think is meaningful work in a community of library patrons that are mostly nice. But I just don't have any peers that I can do anything recreational with. And I used to and it was so fun and I took it for granted.

Church was great and really helped me recover from being institutionalized. Plus I learned to feel that thing in your brain that makes you feel connected to god. Now I don't believe in god and lost that feeling. I miss that feeling but I don't miss the doctrine that doesn't make sense or the bigotry that was instilled in us.

College was mostly amazing for me. I'm so proud of my degree. And compared to my friends I'm not in that much debt. God bless the Federal Pell Grant. (you won't hear my father complain about that government handout) I met some amazing people and grew and learned so much. Like when I was a kid I used the campus as a place to socialize and now that's gone. School's over. I'm supposed to socialize and party like an adult. Does that mean I have to drink? I hate alcohol.

I've always been a believer that you don't need to be popular to be happy. You just need a few good friends and that's really enough. Better in some ways. But if you stop texting them and ignore them like me it's understandable if you haven't seen them in a while.

I was never even upset at them. No drama. Nothing like that. Even though I know they like me and I have fond memories with them. I would just feel anxious about communicating with them. And after getting used to texting them late that soon turned to just not responding. And that was easier. The longer I waited the easier it was to forget about reaching out to these friends that mean a lot to me.

I thought it was justified. It made sense. I'm starting a career I really love. But now after learning more about my long diagnosed illness. I realize why I shut down when I should reach out to my friends. Weirdly enough it's the same reason I am such a people pleaser at work. It even explains my love of making people laugh. I suffer from a symptom called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. As I understand it when I perceive I've disappointed someone I feel this intense mental anguish. Like I see tiny innocuous criticisms as these big giants flaws in my worth as a person. It's like very sudden too.

Like for instance when I first started my job I made a lot of mistakes and didn't know what I was doing. My boss would correct me and sometimes she'd get annoyed but all in all she understood I was learning and now I don't make those mistakes. The woman who hired me was strict but it meant a lot that before she moved away she told me she made a good decision hiring me and I'll fit in here. But basically she'd approach and inform me of what I did wrong and tell me what I should have done and why I should do it that way. Pretty standard stuff right? No punishment or anything just an instruction. But in my head I'd just feel this intense and sudden self-loathing. There's also this physical sickly warm feeling that just makes me feel like I'm in danger or something. (and I don't mean to shock anyone but I'm just being honest) I'd rashly turn to suicidal ideation where I'm not planning to actually do it but I like fantasize about doing it. And I don't like feeling that way. So I'd just sort of scream in my head to try to think of something else and just do my job until I did enough things right and made enough people happy to just forget it. And it honestly fades away fast. In a couple minutes really.

What that does to a guy like me, is right now in my life is I love making people happy. I love making them laugh or saying things that shock amaze and surprise them. But you can't please everyone all the time. Someone's always gonna be upset or seem upset. And I consistently take it too personally. But yeah that's how I act at work where I go to be professional and get paid. But I've slowly been training myself to just let my personal life atrophy. You can't disappoint people if you don't talk to them. And the thing is I know that's bullshit. I've been social I've had fun. I've left friends' houses feeling better than I arrived. Glad to get out of the dent on my mattress.

But I did a good thing today. There's one guy I still talk to regularly. Mike at my local comic shop. He's an older gay man who I think of as a father figure. He's a joy to talk to. He has that same serving spirit I do. After talking about comics bullshit I decided to open up about how I've been struggling socially and mentally. He was so kind and understanding that when I got in my car I had to just start crying. It was a good cry. Not a suffering cry. Honestly the same way I'm crying now. I see that the walls between me and my friends were constructed by me and I plan to tear them down.

I realize I sound unstable now but I'm just emotional. I promise to make appointments with my therapist and my doctor. I already planned to go to attend my college friend's wedding. That will be good for me. Later I'm running a book club that will be stressful to plan but fun to do. So far two of my coworkers promised to attend because it's scheduled when they're off. I still can't believe I will be paid to do that. But right now I'm just gonna clean my room and watch tv. So things will get better. I love you. I love myself. I deserve to have fun with my friends.