#it was something I looked up like

[secondbeatsongs]

Tasting History is a fun channel and all; the videos are interesting and entertaining, but...my real love right now is Historical Italian Cooking

are their recipes accurate? I have no idea! I don't know anything about ancient roman cuisine! I'm just here to watch this man with sturdy hands cook food over a fire and delicately slice herbs!

(it's very calming)

and just...look. I lied just then. I do actually know a tiny bit about ancient roman cuisine, and that does come into play here.

garum was this ancient condiment that people made by putting fish and salt in a jar, setting it out in the sun for a few months, and letting the enzymes from the fish guts digest and ferment the fish into an apparently delicious sauce.

but almost every youtuber I've seen try to make it? they just boil some salted fish, strain it, and go, "haha, this tastes weird!"

but that's not what I want! sure maybe that's one variation of the recipe, but I want someone dedicated! I want someone who's willing to leave fish outside for three months and see what the fuck happens!

and that's where Historical Italian Cooking comes in:

yes. yes! this is exactly what I want!

the confidence with which they layer fish and salt in a jar! the dedication with which they place it outside and let it do its thing for months, while they stir it up every day! it's admirable.

I want desperately to do this. I need to do this.

there is no way, where I am currently living, it would be possible to do this.

at least, not yet...

I will think on this for a later date. I will make plans, ask questions, and think about the future.

someday, the mysterious fish sauce will be mine

and until then, I will listen to this person's wonderful accent and watch them make food, wishing that I could hang out with them in their kitchen ♥

#food #food crimes #garum #sbs rambles #I love that people are actually making garum #it was something I looked up like #years ago #and everyone was all #''no it's a lost recipe! we don't do this anymore as a society!'' #but like #we have the recipes #they're in books #they say what to do #salt fish sunlight and time #maybe herbs too depending on the recipe #we know how it was done #so let's do it! #why not? #also idk the pronouns of the channel owner(s) so I'm using they #also sort of to refer to the channel as a whole #just fyi #Youtube

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[stargirl230]

thanks for the light

I was just trying to figure out how procreate works but then the op brainworms got to me and 35 hours later here we are! can you tell I miss home-cooked meals :')

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)

#my art #artists on tumblr #fanart #one piece #opla #zosan #blackleg sanji #op sanji #roronoa zoro #nami #usopp #monkey d. luffy #i was like wow procreate is so cool for letting me check time spent on each canvas...35 HRS and 22 MINUTES???? #tbf it's spread out over 3 weeks BUT STILL #guys...the file name for this is nakama.png and im so emotional about it #something something comfort food and family and this is what love looks like and now im sobbing #im so predictable it's the found family that gets me every time #and the scene where they all announced their dreams with a foot on the barrel?? i swear i teared up a little #also this is lowkey the most complicated thing i've ever made im so proud #nothing but the best for these strawhats <3

[applestruda]

*redesigns my grian the night before the new hc season*

#i threw away my last one #tbh i think i hadnt really realized it but i dont know how much ive ever liiked my grian #i started drawing him like that bc when i joined the fandom i didnt know how to interpret his skin all that much #i just looked at what the fandom did #so uh #finally grabbing him and making him something i actually like #just a more subtle bird guy #headwings are cool but i like a little less creature on this guy #grian #grian fanart #my art #hes not tooooo different #but ive changed up a few features

[bulbagarden]

cool patrat facts:

#bulbalisia #lisiaposting for queue #i was on bulbapedia because i was looking something up for a fic i'm writing #and i saw this about patrat and was like hmmmmmm........ #why is patrat not in any of the games anymore!!? #bulbagarden #pokemon #gaming #pokememe #patrat #watchog

[heaveniowa]

keep a calendar, this way you will always know.

#fall out boy #fall out boy edit #fall out boy lyrics #fob lyrics #fobedit #folie a deux #joe trohman #patrick stump #andy hurley #pete wentz #headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet #sye did something #WAAAUGHH I FINALLY made a decent looking headfirst slide edit #the calendar starts with saturday because I fucked up the year and just realized after I finished itkjdhjd very fitting in fob world I gues #I know october is like a week something away but I have to upload this now because It's starting to look ugly #fun fact headfirst slide is my all time fav song if anyone cares #q

[petitelappin]

"For a moment or two I could see nothing, as the shadow of a cloud obscured St. Mary’s Church and all around it. Then as the cloud passed I could see the ruins of the abbey coming into view; and as the edge of a narrow band of light as sharp as a sword-cut moved along, the church and the churchyard became gradually visible. Whatever my expectation was, it was not disappointed, for there, on our favourite seat, the silver light of the moon struck a half-reclining figure, snowy white."

Mina and Lucy in the kirkyard at Whitby, August 11th.

#my art #dracula #mina murray #mina harker #lucy westenra #digital art #i realized as i was finishing this up that they look very much like how i draw donna and laura but yknow what? #thats not a bad thing! a lot of parallels! a lot of themes! a lot of trying to save the best friend you are incapable of saving #once again I spent too long looking at old clothing catalogues bc i love the little references mina and lucy make to idea of the new woman #and they def talk about it like an Other but also w a bit of awe and im sure theres a lot to unpack there #but it made me wanna put mina in something new-woman-adjacent #lets get her a little bit leyendecker yknow?

[junk-culture]

good ending

#i got some uhhh like. army style/cadet patrol boots and ik buying from military supplies shops is cringe but #im sick of shoes that dont last + i want something sturdy for walking thats also not as ugly as normal walking shoes. #some butch swag was gained today i think #i got them in brown because idk jgjgk i didnt want the black ones to look Too armycore .or too policecore(throwing up noise) #it's a swag shade of brown though

[ionomycin]

Welcome home

#artists on tumblr #cw blood #i really like drawing wings if it wasn't obvious #drawing has been rough lately though #all the A-I trash going around is so depressing to see #please pick up literally any tool in your hand and create #shape something with your own hands #breathe life into something #it doesn't need to look perfect and polished and photorealistic #literally anything any person has ever drawn with their own hands #has more value than every algorithm generated garbage put together #a vent doodle drawn in the math notebook of a 13 yo girl has infinitely more value #than any stolen blendered together soulless algorithm “creation” #we're humans we create #so just #create #with your own hands and your own ideas

[lieutenant-sarcastic]

#this will settle it! this will settle the private conversation between two people who barely cook !!!! #weve said stove so many times that it ceases to look and sound like a word #i grew up with electric stoves like #yeah they WORK differently but cooking on the stove is cooking on the stove #ur not special or better than me bc u have a gas stove 😌 #i hope ur gas leaks and morgan freeman has to shooy u thru a pint of milk 😌 /jk #up to something #polls #edit: *Mickey mouse voice* ha ha! I’ve made a mistake! #This post was not supposed to escape !!!!!! Fuck !! #my brother: lol is this about the political shit that happened a few months ago? me: THE WHAT??????

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

#911 #911edit #911 abc #911 show #911 spoilers #911 season 7 #tommy kinard #evan buckley #evan 'buck' buckley #kinley #bucktommy #kinkley #tevan #pick a ship name you guys and thanks for picking tevan the most correct name #anyway analysis time! #looking back with Modern Knowledge tm about why tommy acts the way he does in the past... babygirl you were so closeted I'm so proud #babygirl was back there getting into narnia #he was so resistant to letting go of the pseudo-family he'd found at the 118 in chimney begins #even tho it was a good old boys club that he knew he really didn't fit into he was making himself fit because at least it was something #but then he let chimney in and then hen came around and he saw a very queer person being openly queer and not giving a fuck what they think #and I think his behavior in that episode was trying to support hen as much as he could without outing himself #because like. how do you give up years of relative safety with people who do care about you they just won't like you anymore if you're *you #then he meets buck in s7 which is like 10-20 years later timeline is fake and he's like oh. this is what unconditional family is #and he's like oh. maybe I can come back. maybe I can be part of this again somehow. maybe we've both grown enough #or at the very least he'll be close to something he never believed would really happen for him #rant over tevan my beloved tim minear pillow cold both sides god bless #my edits

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[theloveinc]

mating press is so objectively ugly ... embarrassing

#why was i looking this up on images and ninja mutant turtle inc*st was like the fourth image??? ummmmm ok #anyway it's still happening i just dont like thinking abt what it looks like from far away #i prefer it when its not so......... x shaped? i guess #i like it better when it's more... ankles by ears man is kneeling #IM JUST SAYING #ive gravitated back to my weird toji + kids au lmaooo #cuz i made a cake today and it got me thinking abt it #when will i write something of substance please #caitie blabs

[latenightsundayblues]

Fucking love the final flashback montage in saw VI because the way they edited it makes it look like hoffman is pissing directly on an unconscious erickson's bald head

Ive been cry laugghing for five fucking minutes

#it fucks me up every time WHY DID THEY DO IT LIKE THAT #THE FUEL CAN BLENDS WITH THE RED BACKGROUND YOU CANT SEE IT IN TIME #theres NO WAY absolutely NOBODY in the editing team looked at this and went “um. maybe we should change the order of the clips around a bit #tbh maybe mark shoulve actually pissed on his head when he had the chance. guy really pissed me off #i just realized something about the last tag and came back running to tell you all that the pun was not intended #saw vi #saw #mark hoffman #dan erickson #tw blood

[ailithnight]

DPxDC Prompt #8

Danny was practicing shapeshifting with Amorpho when he felt the tug of a summoning and heard the distant words drifting into his mind.

Normally Danny would just ignore it. Or if it seems like this was a group that needed some sense scared into them, he'd shift into his Horror form and terrify them into never pulling this shit again. But then he heard them mention live sacrifices, and Danny just had to step in before that happened. So he let the summoning pull him on through, briefly forgetting he was shapeshifted into a... less than ideal form.

Danny lands in the circle right on top of one of the intended sacrifices, a group of people in weird outfits and, is that guy green? Irrelevant. Immediately Danny on knows something is very wrong. His powers feel muted and far away. His form suddenly feels, locked somehow.

He casts his gaze across the summoning circle and, to his horror, recognizes the binding ritual. These cultists wanted to bind and seal him in one of these mortal's bodies after they were sacrificed. But they fucked up the spell. Or maybe Danny fucked it up by coming in too soon? Irrelevant again.

What matters is the spell went sideways. Instead of locking Danny into one of the sacrifice's bodies, it locked him into his own form while pulling most of his abilities just out of reach. Now he's here. In the shape of- He's stuck as-

"Dude, is that a pigeon? Did the Ghost King, like, send you to voicemail?"

#DPxDC Prompt #DPxDC #technically #DPxTeen Titans #The tv show version #With Robin Starfire Cyborg Raven and Beast Boy #I've seen a lot of Danny shapeshifted as different animals prompts #Cat bat duck goose dragon raccoon seal #Don't think I've seen pigeon though #And I got the line 'Did the Ghost King send you to voicemail?' about Pigeon!Danny showing up in the Ghost King's summoning #And I just had to throw that out here #Also Danny is supposed to look like a normal pigeon here #Maybe some slightly odd coloration #But part of the shapeshifting practice was learning how to shift into something that would pass for normal in the Mortal Realms

[voiider]

I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)

Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes

And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day

The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)

And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip

#very remora fish with a shark #jason todd #danny fenton #danny phantom #dpxdc #dp x dc #this isnt super important but i imagine Danny's ghost form as young and unaged from his death so jason is used to this small whispy kid #who just hangs off him and talks literally all the time #so when something comes up and someone is like 'idk if we can bring danny looking like... that' (glowing and a literal ghost) #danny is like 'oh ok u need a human? ok :)' and transforms #its been WEEKS #jason didn't know he could do that #nobody did #and now theres this 20ish dude standing there #human form danny doesn't talk a lot (anxiety) ghost form danny can't stop talking (anxiety) #could be a ship fic and at this point jason goes from 'where is my little buddy :(' to 👀😳 #i imagine theres a sort of feedback loop with them both feeding off of each other's ecto energies and vibes idk #so when danny is human its not as strong #batman is convince this strange entity is like hypnoyizing his son and like hes not WRONG #but it goes both ways #idk #i just need more codependency fics :( #i should go on a bender #ignore my 500 open tabs and go to town