hi sorry to bother. i'm trying to find this one drawing that i'm like 99% certain you've done of like, the default appearance of every white queer person regardless of labels. like some short haired androgynous bespectacled person who you know at minimum 3 of. and everyone kept saying that 'that's literally me' because of course it is. did i just vividly make that up. i cannot find it with tumblr's notoriously bad search function. i wanted to make fun of my boss and like 5 separate other people i know.
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUP THAT WAS ME you are not crazy. this was the art
this is the post
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i do not want to dig a hole but i am too much of a laura bailey pc enjoyer to not make this post so:
selfishness ≠ a lack of kindness
selfishness is a theme that has come up with all of laura's main campaign pcs. that doesn't mean that her characters are always making selfish choices or that they don't care about the rest of the people they're with or that they're not good. it's just that, for the most part, the first thing they're thinking of when they take action or make choices is themselves.
in jester and vex both it is more typical and obvious selfishness. vex's developed because she needed it to keep herself and vax alive and as safe as possible and it grew into a behaviour that she had to actively work to avoid. it's evident in her greed, her theft of the broom, her reaction to her own death which relied heavily on i'm okay/i survived to which keyleth reminded her that she wasn't the only one who had to witness and reckon with her death. in jester's case, she grew up in an environment that literally trained her to make every decision based on two things - her mother's opinion and her own. so, when she's out in the world without marion for the first time, her choices are those that will benefit her and her actions are those that consider her own thoughts and not really many others' (aside from the traveler's).
it isn't a criticism of either vex or jester to say that they are characters who act selfishly. in fact, i'd argue that to claim otherwise does a great disservice to exactly how immense both of their character arcs are. because the nuance of both jester and vex is that they are selfish, and they also hold extreme room for self-sacrifice and empathy. vex is much more brash than jester is, and jester is much more trusting than vex, but both of them are characters who begin with selfish impulses who grow with them. neither ever truly shed those impulses, but they use them in new ways, typically transforming them into impulses towards things that are in the best interest of the party.
you may have noticed the lack of imogen in this post about laura bailey pcs and that's because of two reasons. one, we are an unknown amount of time into her story, i can't analyse her development the same way i can vex and jester's. two, imogen's selfishness isn't the blatant quasi-self-aware selfishness that we see in things like jester complaining about her lack of money to caleb or vex stealing a broom. instead, imogen's is very internal, like a lot of laura's character work with imogen. it is a bit similar to jester’s in the sense that it comes from a lack of awareness moreso than vex’s practiced behaviour, but imogen’s is a lot more tied to inherent beliefs she has about the world and the people in it.
as a consequence of her powers, imogen sees people's thoughts as their entirety, she holds it above their actions to be the truth of who they are - to act against what they think or to say something that doesn’t cohere with what they’ve thought is akin to lying, so for her to act empathetically is to act in tandem with what someone else’s thoughts are, not how they act, which is typically not all that wanted. the same as vex’s greed and jester’s naivety, this is a trait that makes narrative sense and it’s one i find quite compelling, especially when read in the vein of someone struggling through trauma that has made them assume that the world is against them. imogen’s cynicism is coherent cynicism, i can’t say that in a similar situation i wouldn’t have the same predisposition towards the world.
the part that is particularly self-interested comes in if you look at how imogen has actually been treated in the campaign (quite well) in comparison to the cynicism that she’s developed from her past (something that speaks to a world out to get her). certainly, a bunch of shitty things have happened to imogen in the time we’ve known her, but the same can be said for everyone in bell’s hells and pretty much everyone in exandria at this point in time. but, in a fight to save the aforementioned world, imogen’s focus was getting her mother back on her side. which, while very consistent with her character and a choice that i enjoy, is a very selfish one. the fun thing (to me, obviously) about imogen is that she has, more than most, an insight into the opinions of others and she also tends to seek others’ opinions out and genuinely engages with them and supports their choices. but she still very much acts towards what she thinks is best. it’s one reason i enjoy looking at the dynamic between her and orym as one between foils, as orym tends to be stalwart in his beliefs and doesn’t care too much for other’s opinions if he’s already sure of his own, but his actions tend to favour collaboration and protecting others.
as i mentioned earlier, imogen is a harder case to look at because she is still in the process of her story. however, the circlet is clearly influencing how she interacts with the world and in the wake of the solstice, the hostile reaction towards ruidusborn people has started to become more and more apparent and i’m interested to see what route that ends up leading imogen down and how it will influence her relationship with the rest of bell’s hells. (for better, i think, based on recent conversations, but if it's for worse i will be just as seated and excited).
all of this is just to say, please stop assuming that claiming a character has a trait you think is a bad one is criticism or a hate post. in light of the fact that i know that people who don’t believe this will continue to not believe this, i’ll encourage anyone confused about the ability of a character to be good and kind and selfish all at once to look to what the text itself says, specifically scanlan’s words to pelor when asked what vex means to him:
“Her name is Vex, and she is greedy and mean sometimes, and she can steal a lot. She’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything that is right about her, which is she does all these things to protect her friends and her family. She would give her life for any of us and for anyone who was truly in need. And she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.”
would you look at that... an ability to be a multitude of things, some in conflict with one another. i know that's hard for fandoms to believe, especially about female characters with agency, but i promise its true!
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Lou I'm so sorry for this random thought but I had to leave it out in the open: remember that ask whose premise was a role swap between L and the hunter?
Just, what would they have thought of the 'puppet corpse' the Vicar brought, of her words about a celestial seemingly taking the hunter as their spouse?
"They're what?" Leith's one brow raises in interrogation as they pin the vicar with their stare, dark as night.
"A concubine."
It starts as a mere twitch in Leith's eye, their body perfectly still, hunched as they are over the body of the hunter like a mother of dragons protecting her young. There's a hitch in their breath as their eyes flicker to the hunters dead gaze, and then they start to rumble from deep within their chest, something terrible prowling in there, begging to be let out. Their eyes slowly travel back to meet the vicars, wanting nothing but to wipe the smug smile off her face. Without thinking, Leith flings a knife that grazes her serpentine torso before lodging into a pew. There’s a beat of stunned silence even as the knife rattles and the guards stiffen into readiness.
And then she laughs. Like it's genuinely funny. If Leith had any less self preservation, they'd plunge another knife into the vicars throat and listen to her gurgle, and then they'd laugh, too. They'd laugh and laugh and laugh.
Instead Leith clenches their jaw and hefts the weight of the hunter into their arms silently, as if it's no matter at all; as if their knees aren't buckling and their chest isn't being torn in two. They turn on their heel, walking out. The vicar snickers, stopping her guards with a waggle of her fingers.
She won't hear the promise Leith whispers into the deaf ears of the hunter. But she knows. Leith will stop at nothing to find them again.
------
Leith buries the hunter beneath the tree they once climbed together as younglings, placing a palm against the trunk as if they could bleed it for memories. They kiss the earth where the hunter lay, and [whatever flower you associate with your hunter] begins to grow there the second they do. It breaks what little sanity Leith has left to see the first sprout break through the loose dirt, to then recognizing the bloom, and they rise then, slowly- like a new metamorphosis- they set their jaw and check their knives and then they walk into the forest, one simple goal in mind: to find what's theirs and take it back. Whatever it takes.
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