#daniel every two episodes: i could make her worse

[crazykuroneko]

Rewind the Tape — IWTV S1E03 Rewatch

It's time to continue @iwtvfanevents Rewind the Tape with Episode 3. A disclaimer: this is my first time rewatching the show (excluding indirect watch through YouTube reactions), and it's purpose for me to refresh my mind and noticing things. So, I won't dwell on certain theories, but I'll take notes about it for myself. An extra disclaimer: I revoke my feminist card for Antoinette Brown.

Before that, this is my favorite shot of this episode:

• The music during the opening. It's a comedy show lol

• "I put you on this earth. Your purpose is to enjoy yourself." A bar. An extremely red flagging bar.

• "I know you don't believe that." This is entering a headcanon/personal theory zone, but I always suspect Lestat during this era has this "ideal life" he envisions for him and Louis. That vampires should be this or that, vampire family should be this or that etc. And he stubbornly holds to it which leads to him denying himself to be vulnerable and more communicative to Louis and Claudia. I wonder if we'll get some clue on this later. anyway, BACK TO THE MAIN PROGRAMMING

• "I desire *small voice* blood..." He is so cute

• ugh Louis' suit is Excellent. Carol Cutshall i worship you

• "Every one of them is capable of abomination, even the ones worthy of admiration" "Thrust them into circumstance,[...] and you'll see all kinds of depravity" Unfortunately, he is right.

• I, too, want to flirt with my spouse while talking about how to decide which human we'll kill.

• NOT THE CAT LOUIS 😭😭😭😭

• And with that, the theme of the episode is set: the consequence of Louis' eating disorder. Deeper exploration after establishing what he lost and not lost to vampirism in the previous episode.

• Antoinette is from Atlanta.

• "You're ashamed of what we are." Highlighting this for later.

• "Could you not use the word..." Louis 😂

• Louis has business in Clairborne. Google tells me it's dominated by Black population back then and has a lot of shops. (cmiiw ofc)

• "There it is". We're gonna back to this later.

• Not at Louis staring at Lestat staring at Antoinette. With Lestat already knew Morton will leave Louis soon, you know that his bad idea (he'd call it genius actually) of inciting Louis' jealousy and rage through Antoinette flashes in his little brain right there.

• Jolly Morton vs Lestat banter. what a moment 😂

• *Googles* Wolverine Blues was written in 1923.

• Okay, this is paraphrase, but Daniel said, "When you're still too close to it, the abused still loves the abuser. But you flipped it on its head" aka '70s Louis hated and trash talked Lestat, but now he romantisized him. Well, we'll definitely see the answer in S2. But I wonder if this raises a possibility of Louis meeting Lestat after the '70s interview? Or 2022 Louis believes Lestat is dead dead? You know, you could be forgiving after someone dies. Anyway, kind of fast forwarding here, but this and how Louis downplays Lestat's power in E01 and Louis' whole speech in E06 about "are we the sum of our worst moments?" establishes Louis' current POV actually softens Lestat. Beating that "Louis is lying to make Lestat look worse" allegations. (Unfortunately, he really loves that man guys 😞)

• It's so cute of Louis he really knows what page he has to read out loud when Daniel starting to question his story. Like, he's very aware there's accuracy problem to his memories.

• Louis looks so cute when he's happy (and what a good acting there from Jacob)

• I like that light blue vest on Lestat. Why do we only see it once (and with Antoinette on top of that)? 😭

• Lestat and Antoinette's gig is two weeks old by this time.

• "I understand the indulgence. I let it happen" Oh, Louis 😞

• Not at Lestat offering a threesome. And "I like burnished complexion". God, they should have killed this racist fake ass sooner. And woman even opens her dress herself 😭

• The editing during this scene is kinda jumpy though. But again, no male gaze on the naked woman body. I appreciate that.

• The laugh omg. I don't know, maybe i'm kinda sick in the head and could see how crazy Lestat's brain works, so since the beginning, even before knowing the "inappropriate laugh" explanation from the books, I saw it as like him going "are you really saying you're not enough? LOL" but that's still fucking rude from Louis' POV. That's like the closest Louis ever being vulnerable and saying "I love you" to Lestat, but alas. In E01, Louis himself says he doesn't like how his family judges him, and now he gets Lestat laughing at his sincerity, so OF COURSE he will become more closed-off.

• "There. I said this" And as I said, we're back to the beginning of this episode. This whole thing with Antoinette is Lestat's "clap back" to Louis' shame about their vampirism, which he sees as a personal slight to him because he's Louis' maker. He's deliberately doing this in away that it betrays his own words. So, Lestat is not being hypocritical here, he's being, "Look, how silly it is when we go along with your words of sparing them according to the standard that pleases us?" He's trying to make a point. This is not unlike when Lestat uses "my love" on Antoinette after Louis calling him "my love" while presenting him the poisoned blood that would kill him in E07. I mean, they're both so petty to each other, and unfortunately they're literally this Taylor Swift meme:

• And as we know, unfortunately Lestat will keep using Antoinette to push Louis' buttons until Louis is numb enough to feel hurt about it 😞

• "So, I can fuck whoever I want?" And since it's basically about making a point, Lestat of course has never considered a possibility of Louis fucking anyone else. Because he assumes Louis would be mad and drain Antoinette himself soon. He's that genius (sarcasm).

• "sanctioned infidelity" Louis really has a way with bis words 😂

• Ordinance 4118. Segregating Storyville.

• Lestat standing right in front of the stage while Antoinette is performing 🤮. They're so overtly public. Rubbing on something he can't do with Louis as a couple.

• Oh Jacob's acting during the game and talking to the Alderman. He looks hot as well 🧎‍♀️

• Ngl since I'm not American and I don't know much about American history, I opened Google for these lines.

• God, after the incident with Benny, there's definitely no contact between Louis and his family because he only knows it's the twins' birthday from Jonah.

• "Do you remember the old days?" Oh, Louis is giving that whole montage of their youth for Lestat. Something they don't have together as a couple. They're so nasty to each other woo!

• Oh Lestat takes umbridge because Louis is praising Jonah's uniform, later saying it's Louis' "type"

• I believe here Lestat is honest he stops the thing with Antoinette because he sees his "clap back" doesn't work like it should be. Tries to wave the white flag of surrender to Louis by offering a night out together the next day, but unfortunately Louis chooses to go to his family. Interesting though, 2022 Louis definitely notices Lestat's disappointment at that time, judging from that shot of Lestat freezing there. Again, this goes with my assumption that 2022 Louis tries to understand Lestat better.

• In hindsight, it's interesting Louis himself offers the opening for Daniel to question his recollection by saying the mud on Lestat's boots could come from anywhere, because later he knows for sure Lestat was there in the bayou watching. During my first watch, I thought Daniel catching his error, but maybe Louis deliberately wants Daniel to catch it? Which makes his words in S2 trailer "I want to remember" more sense. He's been prepping Daniel to see through his errors.

• The eye contact with Armand there. So brief, but what a clue. Is he lingering for Jonah's bit or for the testing memory bit?

• That transition to the girls calling him a ghost. So clever.

• Six months of no contact.

• And Lestat claps back to the Jonah thing by bringing those soldiers to their home. Again, he's genius like that.

• "I think Bricks is onto us". Ofc Bricks knows (because like Antoinette says, they talk gossips), but making Lestat notices this from her after weeks of Lestat and Antoinette being so public is interesting. Idk where I'm going with this, but interesting.

• I still really like with how they did Lestat's face during this big showing of power. Kudos for special effects team

• And I watch you drain the dog and eat rats" Yes yes, Lestat did this whole plan to drive Louis to kill in rage but it ends up with him so close to eat properly yet still draining animals. I believe he'd be less mad if Louis drinks from Jonah there. Anyway, first proof of anything Lestat has planned never ends well (except the Come to Me record in E06, but that's not a long game) and yet we have people saying he's like Hannibal 🤷‍♀️

• Louis really makes him speechless there. Kudos.

• I'm glad to see Lestat supporting Louis here in front of Fenwick and Anderson, and rejects Fenwick's suggestion to make him the face of Louis' business, because I was ready to slap him if he said yes during my first watch.

• And of course Lestat calls it a "hobby" because he never takes Louis' human business seriously and he is unable to understand why his bussiness is important to Louis. The scene where Louis' making the No Whites sign proves it.

• So, Louis' remaining business after this riot in Clairborne is hats and grocery stores. And like Louis says, the money isn't that much. That and the remaining Azalea money (if he saved them, exclusing the amount he's been giving to his family as deputy in charge of their trust) are what funding his life and Claudia during Lestat is away in E06 and their whole trip in Europe in S2. That, if those shops survives the Depression.

• The directing during the killing of Fenwick is so 🤌

• Hanging him at the St. Louis church is too on the nose, Louis, but like Lestat, I really appreciate the style. (I wonder how they got the permit to hang it there. I zoomed this shot a lot back then to identify the church, so I'm pretty sure that's the real church not a replica)

• That zoom in on Louis by the window 🤌

• I went to Google and apparently the Ordinance didn't get time to be applied because it's challanged immediately by a mixed raced Madam, and Storyville ended up being closed due to military pressure. Read here. In the show though, it's applied, so logically it makes the existing racial tension even worse, and there's a big possibility of a race riot to happen with or without Louis' action.

• He really says finding Claudia is a "before you and after you" type of moment 😭

• God, all the things Louis puts on the saving of Claudia. Azalea, Storyville, his people. *spoiler* It's no wonder unable to save Claudia in the end is very traumatic for him.

Summary:

So, we're here in episode 3 aka the essay of all consequences when Louis self-regulates too much. Side effects of his eating disorder we've seen in this episode: "barely energy to hold up a book", lacking libido, easier to become bitey when he is aroused (i mean, it took longer for Claudia in E04 but since she's way younger, she lost herself immediately unlike Louis), healing way later than it should be (a scar that should only take minutes to heal probably takes one good night sleep), unable to control rage hence he's prone to uncontrolled outburst.

If in the last episode, we see how bad Loustat handling a conflict, this time we see their ugly habit of "settling a score" when they're mad with each other instead of communicating like normal people. And when one of them let themselves vulnerable enough to communicate, the other doesn't respond well and instead worsen the other's insecurity (however, we can't blame Louis not noticing Lestat's moment vulnerability because unlike Louis who vocalize his insecurity and gets laughed at, Lestat conceals what he feels and why)

Anyway, can't wait to see this gets even worse 😂😭

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #rewind the tape #vampterview #moi.txt #iwtv spoilers #i guess? #oh i forgot #cw eating disorder

[janfraiser]

stay by your side every night

post-4x11, but in a fix-it 'verse where Elizabeth never got taken by the replicators. established john/elizabeth -- just a soft little hurt/comfort epilogue to that wonderfully whumpy episode. (assumes Elizabeth took Woolsey's place in the episode plot)

John finds Elizabeth in the makeshift control room as soon as he makes it off the Traveler ship. She’s leaning against the wall, listening to Zelenka’s account of the conditions aboard the cobbled together vessel. Even in the flickering emergency lighting, John can tell from the hand pressed to her forehead that she’s probably having a night even worse than his.

“Radek,” she sighs, “my czech is rusty on a good day, if you can’t get your point across in one language, can we switch to polish, maybe?”

“Tell her later, Radek,” John interrupts. “Elizabeth, Jen needs you in the infirmary.”

He takes her arm, but she goes willingly. “Are Rodney and Daniel okay?”

“They are, but you’re not,” John mutters. “I want you to get checked out.”

“We were never hurt, John,” she sighs, “only stunned. And besides, we both know I have the least to worry about in that regard.”

“Sure,” he agrees sarcastically, “so, you could walk in a straight line right now? If I let go of you?”

She shakes her head. “It’s just a headache. I guess a self-repairing system doesn’t make me immune to dehydration.”

John leans over and kisses her hair before guiding them down the hallway again. “Humor me, sweetheart. Let Jen stick you in a scanner real quick.”

“Only if Daniel and Rodney are out of the woods.”

“Deal.” He squeezes her hip where his hand has settled. 

Jen is on his side when he gets there. “Oh, Rodney’s fine, and with Doctor Jackson it’s just a waiting game,” she says. “Elizabeth, go ahead and lie down in the main scanner, will you? While that’s running I’d like to change your bandages, John.”

Elizabeth scowls as she turns to him. “Bandages?”

“Just a few shrapnel scrapes,” he mutters. “You get looked at, I get looked at, yeah?”

He takes off his jacket and shirt, wincing as the bandages and cuts pull with his movements. This is always the worst part of a mission, the coming down, when all of the pain and fear settles in and he has nothing to distract himself. And Keller isn’t super gentle un-taping the gauze, either.

She’s running a stinging rinse over his wounds when her tablet beeps. “Oh… well, no wonder you’re not feeling well, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth slips out of the scanner. “God. Do I even want to hear it?”

“It’s not a huge deal, all things considered,” Jen assures them. “Your nanites must’ve been affected by the wraith stunner-- makes sense, since they’re electric, even if you’re the source of their electricity. I’m sure when they do their thing and replenish themselves, you’ll feel much better. But I’m guessing that could take twelve to twenty-four hours.”

John reaches out to take Elizabeth’s hand. “I guess you’ll just have to sleep it off.” 

She nods, her eyes flicking over him in a distracted manner. “You’re one to talk… John, your back…” her fingers brush over his sensitive skin, but Jen clears her throat. 

“Doctor Weir, please don’t touch any of the area I’m disinfecting. None of his wounds are deep, but I’m worried about infection if I don’t clean them properly.”

“Sorry, Jen,” Elizabeth murmurs. John hisses as the doctor douses him again. Elizabeth’s frown deepens. “You got pretty roughed up, huh?”

Her worrying over him is exactly what he <i>doesn’t&lt;/i> want. “My ears are ringing a little and I won’t be sleeping on my back for a couple days. I got lucky, really.”

“Don’t forget the two broken ribs,” Jen interjects.

Elizabeth’s expression becomes vacant, but she comes back to herself enough to give him her ‘brave face’ smile. “Looks like we both need a little R&R.”

He leans forward to bury his face in her shoulder. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

Elizabeth’s fingers card through his hair, and just when the niceness of holding onto her is starting to overtake the pain from his back, Jennifer interrupts again. 

“Elizabeth, please,” the doctor sighs. “You two can hang on as tight as you want as soon as I get the clean bandages on.”

“Sorry, Jen.”

Before they escape the infirmary, John steals a few shelf-stable cold packs. In Elizabeth’s quarters, he finds his way through the dark in concession to her headache, looking for a washcloth or something in her bathroom. Returning to bed, he finds her in one of his old air force t-shirts, hugging a pillow with her eyes screwed shut. He leans down to press a kiss to her temple, laying the wrapped ice pack on her head when she whimpers slightly. “How’s that?”

She lets out a sigh of pleasure. “Really nice. Are you too sore for me to use you as a pillow?”

“Never,” he promises, slipping into her bed. “You scared me today, ‘Lizabeth.”

She pouts at him. “Me? You got blown up.”

He pets her hair absently. “You may be nearly invincible, but if the wraith had decided to feed on you, the nanites wouldn’t have done shit.”

“It was all just terrible timing,” Elizabeth sighs. “I’m just glad we’re back in our own bed.”

“Get some sleep, hon,” John mutters.

“You too.” She nuzzles into his neck. “I’ll still be here if the nightmares wake you up.”

He closes his eyes. “Which one of us d’you think will wake up screaming first?”

“Probably me,” she sighs, “but I’m expecting you to be restless tonight, with your back covered in bandages.”

He grimaces. “If I don’t move, it doesn’t hurt… just feels kinda hot and sore.”

“I’m jealous,” Elizabeth groans. “I swear my head is only getting worse, not better.”

“I can crack a fresh ice pack for you if you want,” he offers. They’re within reach on his nightstand.

“No, it’s cold enough.” She nestles against him even closer. “I just need to fall asleep. Should’ve asked for more sleeping pills.”

John knows she has to take a higher dosage thanks to the nanites processing the medicine out of her system. “I can rub your back until you fall asleep?”

It’s almost too dark to tell, but he thinks she smiles. “You’re too good to me.”

He begins tracing patterns up and down her spine. “I love you, Elizabeth.”

Her voice is already slow and sleepy. “I love you, too.”

#sga #stargate atlantis #sga fic #john sheppard #elizabeth weir #sheppard x weir #stargate atlantis fic #julie writes

[thestupidhelmet]

i know you must get this a lot of times but where was it said that jackie and hyde were meant to be endgame in s7 plans? this has always bothered me and news about that 90s show just makes it worse lol

Unfortunately, it would take me days I don't have to find the links to the specific threads on the That '70s Show message board at Fan Forum, threads that are buried by sixteen years andmore of other threads. That being said, i read every single thread on the message board once I became the co-moderator, and I found many fascinating links and interviews and discussions about the behind-the-scenes goings-on at the show.

(I posted a lot of this information on here as I found it. But those posts are also buried by many years of other posts. I should've made a tagging system to make finding those posts easier. Alas.)

In discussions that took place on the message board during seasons 7 and 8's production and airing, had by folks either connected to the show (one or two degrees of separation; several of whom an now long-defunct T7S fan websites), the original series finale screenplay -- which was the original season 7 finale -- was talked about. As were how the season 7 arcs and episodes were altered to accommodate the fact season 8 was greenlit halfway through season 7's production (episodes were already airing at the time).

In an interview with DM on TRL (Total Request Live on MTV) before season 7 aired, he was asked by Carson Daly if this was the last season, and DM confirmed it. The cast, the crew, the showrunners all believed season 7 was the last season because it was. That's how season 7's story arcs were planned. The scripts, including the finale, were written. Then halfway through production, they learn they have another season, and alterations must be made to the remaining scripts that hadn't yet been produced. Quickly.

The Office had an adjacent situation. Jim and Pam were not supposed to reconcile until the series finale. But John John Krasinski (like the rest of the show's actors) was tuned into the fandom. He was also a producer on the show. He went to Greg Daniels (showrunner of the last season) and told him that keeping Jim and Pam apart until the finale would put a bitter taste in fans' mouths. Long story short, scripts were rewritten. One episode was reedited in a frenzy -- the one where Jim and Pam reconcile -- with new footage shot.

Back to T7S. Jackie and Hyde's two breakups in season 7 is an example of a story arc alteration. They were not supposed to reconcile in season 7 until the end of the season / series, when Jackie gives Hyde the ultimatum -- she's leaving for Chicago but she still loves him, and if he loves her, he'll propose and she'll stay -- and he chooses to propose to her at the end.

Their reconciliation in "Down the Road Apiece" (7x17) was a scramble (as might be obvious by how badly that reconciliation is written) so that viewers would get a few more J/H episodes before the end of the newly-written cliffhanger in the lasst episode of season 7.

The Filgos (T7S's showrunners from season 5-7) were not returning for season 8 because they'd already taken another job for a new show. So new showrunners had to be found. The Filgos, understanding the show far better than the who eventually was hired for the job, set up a ready-made story arc for who would replace them.

They probably believed whoever was hired would understand the importance of Jackie and Hyde's relationship to the show's fans. The cliffhanger about that relationship's fate was obviously created at the end of season 7 to lead into season 8's first main arc: Jackie and Hyde's ultimate reconciliation and -- likely to the Filgos' mind -- a marriage proposal so that we'd have stories about Jackie and Hyde dealing with being engaged during season 8. That could have been the arc if ...

The people who were hired as showrunners for season 8, in their own words (albeit somewhat paraphrased, from an interview before season 8 aired), didn't understand Jackie and Hyde's [romantic] relationship and never liked it. So they were bringing Jackie and Hyde back to their season-1 roots as antagonists because, in their estimation, that was their proper dynamic.

They didn't pay that much attention to Jackie and Hyde's dynamic in season 1. They were oblivious to the major shift that occurs between Jackie and Hyde in "Prom Night" (1x19), not seeing what they wished not to see.

The season 8 showrunners did away with the Filgos gift to them, a ready-made story arc that could practically have written itself for season 8's first three or four episodes. Instead, they brought in Samantha as Hyde's wife. To be fair, however, they also to contend with WV's contractual demand that Fez end up with one of the principal female characters of T7S. Whoever negotiated that contract did a terrible job and should have offered WV another way to assuage his fears of being pigeonholed to playing characters post-T7S like the Fez of seasons 1-7.

Because the season 7 scripts were rewritten hastily, remnants of the original Jackie/Hyde ending (and original series finale) still exist within them. When Hyde says, "No, I've decided," peacefully to Eric about whether or not he would propose to Jackie, the original series finale is peeking through. Hyde doesn't say what he's decided, but the subtext isn't all that buried.

In the original scripts, Jackie may well have still left town before Hyde can propose. She might have, however, actually left. Not pretended to leave. That part seems tacked on for another conflict between Jackie and Hyde and to set up Kelso being in the motel room with Jackie a the end of the season.

More than likely, Jackie does go to Chicago in the original script (on her own, without Kelso). Hyde is miserable and furious about it. The scene among him, Eric, and Donna where Donna realizes Hyde was going to propose is probably in the original. The tension would have derived from if Hyde was willing to lose Jackie or not, if he could get over his anger at her ultimatum and her leaving before the deadline she set.

The answer, of course, was yes. In the original, from what I read on the message board, he would have gone to Chicago, knocked on the motel room door. Jackie would've been surprised and nervous to seem him because she didn't expect Hyde drive to Chicago after a) him taking so long to decide to propose and b) the fact she left before the midnight deadline.

The following is pure speculation, based on the characters and that Hyde proposes to Jackie in the original series finale.

After Jackie's surprised reaction, she might have said, "So, what, you drove all the way to Chicago to tell me you weren't gonna propose?" Hydes goes down on one knee.

Jackie: What are you doing?

Hyde: I'm gettin' ready for a football play. What's it look like I'm doing?

Hyde takes out a ring box from his denim jacket and opens it.

Jackie [covering her face]: Oh, my God.

Hyde: I was gonna let the Camino make this choice for me, but then I thought about what a future without you would look like. Turns out, not good. You can be annoying and frustrating as hell, but bein' without that -- and everything else you are -- the last few months has driven me nuts. Which is why I'm askin': wanna get hitched?

Jackie stares down at the ring. She's in shock, but she recovers.

Jackie: Steven, you can be so annoying and frustrating that is drives me crazy, but the last few months without have been miserable. Of course, I want to "get hitched"!

Hyde slides the ring onto Jackie's finger. She and Hyde kiss.

Later, we see the two of them together in the basement with their friends. It's the circle. Jackie is sitting on Hyde's lap with his ring on his finger. Their friends tease both of them about the fact they're engaged. Their friends also congratulate them.

END

#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #That '90s Show #Jackie x Hyde #Spoilers #Ask #Anon #My Meta #My Essay #Meta #Essay #Ficlet #Season 8 Sucks! #BTS #Behind the Scenes

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself-Story (18+)

⚠ CW: addiction, drugs, drug use, withdrawal, memory loss ⚠

After I visited my parents, I?......I  blew it! Really blew it!! 🤦‍♀️ 🤦‍♀️......

Two days ago, I stayed with my parents, when I was visiting them. 

Ana was not well. I told you a few weeks ago, that Ana was at a doctor. Because of all the party drugs she took during the summer. The worst was behind Ana, but she still suffered from anxiety and sometimes had quite severe depressive episodes. 

And.....all this totally devastated my parents. I caught my mom crying in the kitchen. When my parents were with Ana at this doctor, my mom also told him about my drug addiction & my situation. This doc warned my mom! She MUST stop running after me and helping me out with money. It was so hard for my mom! She was lost. She couldn’t help me anymore, so what should she do? Watch me die?... My dad realized, there might be no way out of this vicious circle for me. So he gave up. 😔 My parents were told, that with force, they will not achieve anything with me! They should only be there for me when I need them or decide to get clean. Knowing they can do nothing for me but wait and hope, that one day, I will make the right decision, has totally destroyed both. My mom even made the same suggestion like last time to me! If I can’t get clean without Daniel, she’ll help him, too!! I told my mom I’d agree to it, but I didn’t know about Daniel? 😟 I will try my best to get him to do it. That’s what I said to my mom when I left the next day. 

While Daniel was at work, I met Sofia as in the days before. I was so high that I slept through our therapy session that Daniel and I had together. 😢 🤦‍♀️ He was waiting for me in front of that building, where our therapy took place. He tried to call me several times, but I didn’t hear my phone. He was really worried about me, so he went home to see, if I was there? Meanwhile I called Daniel back, to pick me up from Sofia. Well! And because we were not at our therapy session, again, our doc stopped our prescription for a week as a warning! The next time we miss, we’re kicked out of that drug replacement therapy. Now Daniel & I had to do without our pills for a whole week! 😱 💩

I got the first withdrawal symptoms on the second day without pills and Daniel after just one day! I knew Daniel wouldn’t let me go, to get us drugs, so I called Dominick. Dominick was not home because of his job, so I decided to go and take care of this matter myself. Just before I left, Daniel, we had a fight about it. I can’t wait and watch us both get worse and worse. I was tired of waiting for someone to help me/us. I can call Mike and it’s done! Just because Daniel has a problem with me seeing Mike, we’re both supposed to torture ourselves to death and wait for Dominick? No! I just didn’t see the point! It’s not like I’ve never met a dealer before, yk.🤷‍♀️

M. met me in the same place as always. Sofia also bought drugs, so we went together. After we had our drugs, Sofia offered me a line. I wondered, where the hell did she get that money? Sofia enthusiastically told me about her new job in a bar, where men are not stingy with their tips. I listened to Sofia a bit, while she shared her drugs with me. And then it happened again! 😧 🤦‍♀️ Just like last time! My memories were gone! I was with Sofia a few hours on the road, but I have NO idea what we have done? The last thing I could remember is that we both cried and sat on the ground, in the same place where we met Mike. Crying, I just emptied my entire bag on the street to look for my phone & my fucking drugs. I didn’t care that all the people who passed by looked at us strangely. 

Sofia and I just acted like two totally broken, drugged freaks. I only remembered fragments. Sofia and I were in the subway and 4 young guys, maybe 18 years old, sat down next to us. Sof and I were fine? But we constantly dozed off!! Every few secs I woke up and I saw Sofia totally sleepy/high. She had her head leaning against the window. Confused I told Sofia, that a stranger was kissing her neck! 😦 But Sofia could hardly move and didn’t really react. She was sitting across from me and next to her, were two of these guys and the other two, were next to me! When Sofia woke up, she saw one of those guys sitting next to me, with his hands under my shirt, while the other guy had his hands somewhere else on my body. I swear, I didn’t noticed any of that!!! 🤦‍♀️ 😠 Suddenly Sofia got up! She grabbed my arm and dragged me behind her. We went to the doors and wanted to get off at the next stop. BUT...I was to slow, I lost Sofia! The subway door closed in front of me. I couldn’t exit the wagon and was now alone without Sofia. “Oh, fuck”, I said. Was the last clear thing I could remember. Sofia and I were apart for a while. What I did afterwards, I don’t know anymore! I only have in my mind, how I went around alone & totally high. 😔 Somehow, who knows HOW?? Sofia and I found each other again and I think, that we cried because we lost each other??

Anyway, when I found my phone, Sofia called Daniel for me, because I was way too high and needed forever for everything I did. While we were waiting for him, I noticed Sofia’s hickeys on her neck, so I also remembered this shit in the subway and told her. But why didn’t anyone help Sofia & me? Probably nobody wanted to help two drug addicted bitches, who just can’t get enough? And who knows? Maybe it looked like Sofia and I wanted or tolerated that? I just don’t know???? 😒 🤦‍♀️ We were so lucky that we were not robbed or much worse happened.

After a short while, Daniel came. He found me there, sitting on the ground, he was really shocked & sad. I could see that in his eyes.

I apologized to him. I felt so BAD! It was just because of me, that we had to do without pills. That’s why I couldn’t help it! I had to do something! But I should have gone home as soon as I had our fucking drugs and not doing lines with Sofia in that damn park.😠...Daniel wasn’t angry with me, he was more sad & tired. He said I don’t have to apologize to him. For anything! Besides, this strange guy, who watched Sofia and me last time in this place, was back! Mike asked me the other day, if I know the guy with the black Hoddie, who stared at me?....Honestly, I didn’t get any of that anyway. I was just clinging to Daniel. I could barely stand and almost fell asleep in his arms. I could only hear him asking Sofia, why this guy is looking at us so pissed? Daniel thought Sofia and I might got in a fight with that weirdo or something? Then I heard Sofia nervously telling Daniel that this guy was watching us a few days ago. She was kind of scared of him and just wanted to leave. Daniel got nervous too. The longer he looked at this stranger, the more uncomfortable he felt. So we went home....

Previous / Next

Start

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #18+ content #tw addiction #tw drugs #tw drug use #tw sex assault

[lafiametta]

I'm rewatching Episode 1 and I noticed a bunch of things I'd like to discuss, if you don't mind! (This will be long, hang in there!)

The one that intrigued me most is when they found the Prometheus. There was something off about how it looked from the start. Firstly, it didn't look like a ship that had been missing for only 4 months, but much longer. And secondly, and worse of all, is that it looked like it had been sunk, and then submerged. And when did we see a ship sink? In the last episode, where the vortex swallowed Kerberos, and it came out in that other "sea" with the other failed simulations. However, there's something about both ships that I don't get. At first, I thought the Prometheus acted as a bait, reeling in the Kerberos to its location over and over again to kickstart the simulations, especially because at some point its equipment sends those messages with only triangles, rather than the Morse code. So it was clearly a tool in the program. But then, in the show, when they started to toll the Prometheus back to Europe, it was Daniel that used that device that made the fog swallow the Kerberos and send it back to its original location. I can't tell how much Daniel did in this simulation (I don't believe he started The Calling, for example), but his impact on the Prometheus (his coming from there) and then the Kerberos (spiriting it away to somewhere else, letting it be engulfed by the fog) was definitely something he did. Where was the Prometheus before the Kerberos found her? Is it possible that its 'disappearance' is where the failed Kerberos ships go to? And if Daniel, if real, is not part of the simulation, did he get inside it by accessing it through the archive of failed simulations and went inside the 'test zone' with an empty ship, that turned out to be the Prometheus? Could this simulation have been the first one where they found the missing sister ship?

The storm still happened, though, so he couldn't control everything, as we obviously saw how he had to hack into the simulation to make changes in there, but now I'm wondering what is the purpose of these two ships - and, most interestingly, in 2099 they are travelling aboard the Prometheus, not the Kerberos. And it is called the Prometheus Project. So... Could the spaceship also not be reality???

And what about the third, mysterious ship that is part of this triangle? Eyk said the 'company bought three ships, and they spent three months docked while a new system was installed'... So???? Hello???? What does all this mean!!!

So I don't know if I have all the answers you're looking for — in fact, I know I don't! — but I'm going to do my best to walk through some of what I think is going on.

The simulation begins on the morning of the second day of the voyage, before the message comes from the Prometheus. It's unclear whether or not a message comes from the Prometheus during every simulation, but in this one, the message is coming from a specific sender: Daniel.

Daniel is trying to reach Maura, to tell her that she needs to wake up, to remember who she is (and their life together), which will somehow free her from being stuck in the simulation, which just seems to run again and again. In this, he also enlists the help of Elliot, who he knows will trigger Maura's natural protectiveness and her forgotten maternal instincts. Elliot's also meant to use access to Maura and her stateroom to look for the key. (The fact that they both can use the beetles/bugs to open doors or know what direction to follow is a clue that they're working together.)

For some reason, he can't bypass the programming and get the two of them directly on board the Kerberos. Instead, he gets them onto the Prometheus (which I suppose was just hanging out in the simulation graveyard; this one, I have to assume, must have sunk four months earlier, which explains why it looks so rusted and dilapidated), brings it through the whirlpool wormhole, and then secretly sends a signal to the Kerberos, hoping that it will be enough to send the Kerberos on a rescue mission. (The original message gives coordinates of longitude and latitude, not triangles, so the crew and the captain know where to go to find it.) While Eyk, Maura, and the rest of the lifeboat squad are searching through the Prometheus (and successfully discovering Elliot, who was left there to be found), Daniel is making his way over to the Kerberos. (I have to assume he rowed, but he's so soaked that maybe he swam??)

(By the way, Nina's hair ribbon, the one that so freaked out Eyk when he found it on the Prometheus? I suspect he left it there himself when he was there during a previous simulation, or maybe it was in his possession and it got lost ["what is lost will be found"?]; he just forgot that he had ever had it, much like he forgets everything from each simulation.)

Clearly, Daniel is hoping that Elliot's presence is enough to get Maura to start remembering things, even though the boy is kept from speaking (I suspect because doing to will bring him to the attention of either Henry Singleton or a different "Creator" — perhaps Ciaran? — who then will be clued into Daniel's plan). Elliot's role is also vital because he's got the pyramid (it's not entirely clear what his connection to it is; it's clearly important that it stays in his possession) and the pyramid holds the lock that can be opened to shut down the simulation. Eventually, it's clear to Daniel that Elliot on his own will not be enough to get her to remember, so he starts spending more time around her, hoping to trigger some long-lost feelings or memories. (Too bad for him that she seems to prefer hanging out with Eyk, either exploring each other's memories or the ruined engine room of the Prometheus!)

I'm still not entirely clear why Daniel killed ("killed") Ada. He's responsible for the mysterious collapse/death of many of the other passengers and crew, so it's possible he did it to sow confusion and panic among the remaining ones, enough so that Eyk will abandon his plan of towing the Prometheus back to Europe. (The only other person who has the capacity of "killing" the passengers is Sebastian, and he and Daniel seem to be working at odds for much of the series.) And perhaps Ada's death being first is meant to be symbolic; she acts as a prophet in the first episode, talking about the "ghost ship," so maybe she's meant to be the first sacrifice.

Daniel also summons the fog, meant to stymie the Kerberos and stop it from returning with the Prometheus back to Europe. It gives the plotters of the mutiny enough time to put their plan into action, taking weapons and arming the lower-class passengers, and it's at that moment that Daniel uses his sliding puzzle controller to turn the mainframe of the simulation on, which zaps the Kerberos back to its original position before it went in search of the Prometheus in Episode 1. He, like everyone else (with the exception, it seems of Eyk), wants to get the ship back on track and not run the risk that it could be shut down by Henry Singleton (who may or may not be the mysterious "Creator"). Essentially, he's buying more time with Maura, hoping that eventually she'll begin to remember and then recall where the key is, allowing her to wake up (and stop the simulations).

I agree with you that the Calling and the storm were not Daniel's doing; those, I think must have been externally created, I suspect by Henry Singleton, who is still trying to test out his theory about human behavior and whether we are still ruled by our emotions. At Singleton's behest, the simulation is also shut down in Episode 7, with the Kerberos going back through the whirlpool wormhole to the simulation graveyard, where it meets up with the Prometheus (although it might not be the same Prometheus from Episodes 1-3). It doesn't work entirely, though, because there are still a handful of passengers (Maura, Eyk, Ling Yi, Ramiro, Clémence, Tove, Virginia, and Jérôme) that are still existing within it. Daniel takes the opportunity to hack into the mainframe and change the structure of the simulation, one final attempt to save Maura and help her wake up. (He needs to keep her safe until Singleton uses the fake key in Elliot's pyramid and the final countdown ends, at which point, he hopes, she'll wake up again in her own memory, which is tied to Elliot's playroom — their first simulation. The new key — her wedding ring — can be used in the puzzle pyramid that's also been in Elliot's possession, but in his playroom, not his hands.)

Anyway, that was a long discussion, and I'm not sure it made much sense, but my best guess for the existence of two ships is that the Prometheus (through Daniel's intervention) saves the Kerberos. To take a clue from the mythology, Prometheus (who brings the light of fire) illuminates the darkness that the three-headed dog guarding hell is mired in. And the Prometheus Project is a rescue mission, much like the Prometheus ends up saving the Kerberos (even though it was the Kerberos that first deviated from its course to come to the aid of the Prometheus).

As for the third ship, hell if I know. My brain hurts just having gotten this far... :)

#1899 #1899 netflix #daniel solace #maura franklin #elliot #meta #ask and answer #inferubim

[mlobsters]

supernatural s6e13 unforgiven (w. andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

flashback soulless!sam is just beating the shit out of this cop. grandpa. really. just gonna let that go too huh

(looks like the black desktop background is here to stay)

he looks so young in his silly little suit and bright lighting with his new(er) hair. and yes the little joke about how tall sam was endearing

DEAN And how would you... characterize their relationship?

NICOLE'S ROOMMATE Relationship? No, they weren't having a --

DEAN just the -- the -- the tone or the nature of their conversation.

NICOLE'S ROOMMATE Well... loud. And... athletic.

he went on a little face journey there

here i thought i'd seen the last of the guys having problems with the law, that particular variety of conflict stresses me out. and this time, robosam really fucked up and now our sam has to deal with it? agh

i've been reading this fic that focuses a lot more on kind of lingering effects of trauma that the guys have been through and just now watching sam have this very impassioned conversation with the lady that leads to her unlocking the cell he's in, got me thinking about like. changing gears so quickly from robosam to regular sam, i'm watching him waiting for the con. and i wonder if dean would catch himself having similar thoughts

so soulless managed to bang 5 ladies in this little town on a job. that seems... logistically challenging

(robo)SAM Well, Samuel wasn't really around when I was a kid. We have more of a, uh, business relationship.

BRENNA Uh, do you have any other family?

(robo)SAM Family just slows you down.

he was sweating after that flashback. i mean, objectively terrifying having sudden intrusive memories of an event you don't remember and with yourself being so cold and cruel.

(wiki) Sam and Samuel use the aliases "Roark and Wynand." Sam's alias (H. Roark) is a reference to the main character—Howard Roark—in Ayn Rand's novel The Fountainhead which embodied the philosophy of objectivism, where individual self-interest was held as the purpose of one's life (and so it is interesting that this is associated with soulless Sam). Samuel's alias Wynand refers to Gail Wynand, another character in the book.

oh my god that's hilarious. it is ~interesting~ supernaturalwiki 😂

i adjusted the lighting on this because it was so dark and the quality is laughable but anyway again squatting in a place with power and a janky lampshade. i liked dean's plaid, in this shot it looks more like black and white plaid which is a little bold for him (but it's more of a subdued blue in better light)

DEAN We are not the only hunters on the planet, okay? We can call Bobby. He and Rufus could come and wrap up.

he makes a good point. give bobby and rufus some quality time together

DEAN Really? You get that every time you scratch that wall, that you are playing Russian roulette?

SAM Dean, I get you're worried, okay? And I know what you think is gonna happen. But you know what? It will or it won't.

i get where dean is coming from but also sam makes a good point that it's gonna happen or not.

DEAN Sam --

SAM --look, I'm starting to think that -- that I might have done some bad stuff here, Dean. And so I don't care if it's dangerous. I have to set things right, 'cause I got a frigging soul now, and -- and it won't let me just walk away. I'm staying here. And I need you to back me

DEAN All right. Why not? Well, let's "memento" this thing, shall we?

(two memento references in as many episodes)

oh the flashbacks got even worse. using this dude as bait for the monster, which clearly went above bait to just plain food. oh, and "mercy" killing them. right. GREAT.

giggling over these weird contacts. it wasn't until after i'd been staring at them entranced for this entire speech that i realized they're probably supposed to be like. another pupil? cuz he's a spider lol 🕷️🕷️🕷️

so he's upset she ignored his sorry and went inside but i was just thinking to myself, well you got her husband killed (again) and kind of killed him (again), it's unforgivable. and then i remembered the episode title. ha ha. queuing up the unforgiven by metallica (love that album, and they totally played this at a middle school dance i attended)

did you sleep on that gross ass bed, samuel winchester

DEAN Sam, you got to understand that all that crap last year -- all of it -- none of it was you.

SAM Let's be crystal clear, okay? It was me.

DEAN Well, can I get you anything?

SAM What are you now, my waitress?

DEAN I'm just trying to make you feel better. Don't be a bitch.

SAM Yeah, I'm fine.

DEAN Yeah, you look fine. All I'm saying is everything's gonna be okay.

SAM I don't know, Dean. If I did this here, then who knows how many oth-

didn't know he was gonna have hell creep in so soon. so i guess they were like well when dean went to hell it was 40 years and we had to make it even worse by breaking his will and him enjoying torturing people. so, how can we make this even worse for sam... hmmm. not only does he get the multiplied years of torture (from what i gleaned it was a lot longer too?) but a bonus year of being a monster topside where he can suffer for feeling guilty about getting people killed etc etc. sam is totally going to win the trauma olympics

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 6x13 #robosam #he just gets worse every time we see him! gone are the days of cute banter #ayn rand shade #love to see it #andrew dabb #daniel loflin

[afaims100arrowversefavs]

11.  A purposeful and logical Time Sickness Storyline (The Flash Season 7&8)

 Let’s be real, the only reason the writers ever came up with the whole Time Sickness thing was because they needed a reason for Iris to be absent for a couple of episodes in a row during Season 7, when Candice went back to the states after getting homesick in a none-pretty way. After holidays and being under the weather they turned it into a storyline instead, but one we never really saw anything from. Most of us spend Season 7 wondering what being time sick would actually look like (it would take til Season 8 for us to get an answer to this one).

By the end of Season 7 Iris was cured or so we were told, and the scene which would reveal that this wasn’t the case was cut. We were told the storyline was not over and were puzzled by that, but come „Armageddon“ we saw that Iris did take the risk of getting worse again in order to help Barry. But since the Timeline changed and that whole scene never really happened, no one inlcuding Iris and Deon did remember that. Until the Time Sickness came back.

And then we got …. I can’t even describe it. Now, the reason the whole thing even came back at all was not that the writers thought it would be a nice idea to actually have it not just be a cheap excuse for Iris not being there, but the fact that Candice only ever signed on for Season 8 after getting guaranteed a leave during Season 8 (by the time they were negotiating for Season 8 the quarantine for everyone coming to Canada was still in place, which means that she would have lost two weeks of filming by coming back from the US if she were to leave in the middle of the season). So they decided to use the same excuse for her absensce in Season 8  they used in Season 7 again but make a storyline out of it.

However the problem here is that that would mean that they knew Cancide would be gone for a certain part of the season, but if you look at this part of the season these are the episode in which Iris has vansihed but for some reason no one is worried about her and everyone just assumes that she will return healthy and happy and everything will be alright. Which, as everyone and their mother pointed out, does not make a lick of sense, because no sane person would react like that to a beloved person vanishing into thin air and staying vanished for weeks! And yes, they got two additional episodes they did not account for during that period, but that does still not explain that crappy writing or that one before, when Iris was vanishing from time to time and making people disappear by being near them but still went to work, met up with people, and went to a public funeral!

Additionally one could ask why they did not simple film material for these episodes, when Candice was still in Vancouver or later when she was back in Vancouver to show us what was happening to her and what the experience of being time sick and being lost in the Still Force was actually like for her. One short scene every second episode or so what have been possible, they managed to do it with Danielle before she went on Materniry Leave at the same time, so they could have done it for Candice too, but appearantly the rumours about everyone up there favouring Danielle over Candice are true after all. Eric Wallace surley does it, and he obviously does not like Iris West as a character, but this is no reason to make the show unwatchable by handling a storyline that is kind of important in such a bad way.

The whole point Barry and Iris being seperated again would be for it to be a tragey. But how can it be a tragedy if Barry is not worried and we don’t know what being time sick even does to Iris?

And then when she comes back and it turns out the situation actually is serious after all, the characters all look stupid because none of them did take it seriously before even though people disappeard into the Still Force and where never seen again!

And the worst part is, that the whole storyline was never about Iris, but part of strange Forces related plot, that made no sense, came out of nothing, and did not interest anyone. (Since what ever was wrong with Deon also did not trouble Barry and the others very much). So her getting time sick was only a plot-device to keep her out of action after all, which the writers used as an excuse for the underwhelming and not very logical reveal that there are Negative Forces of Nature as well and that they are played by the same actors as the other Forces even though those actually did posses previously existing people, who are only there once, so … like I said, that plot did not make sense at all.

In another world we would have had a writer’s room that would have made something out of the timesickness storyline. Forget the whole „Iris is actually from the Future“-Nonesense, because this was strange in the Comics and would made no sense in the Arrowverse, but there could have been so many reasons for this time sickness stuff that would have made sense. Speedster Pregnancy for once (which would have also been a good reason for Candice too miss a couple of episodes in a row), Nora and Bart needing Iris’s help in the future and her sensing that because of her connection the the Still Force, remenants of Iris’s Mirror Powers and or Speedster Powers acting up or an enemy of The Flash going after Iris in this way in order to hurt Barry. And those are only the obvious reasons for the sickness that come to mind. Hell, even her being from the Future would have been more pleasant to watch than what we got.

In any of this other universes we would have of course seen what was happening to her, while she vanished and we would haven even gotten – oh no a couple of male viewers just died in all those universes – a whole episode centered around Iris and whatever she was going through with no one else or only a little bit of maybe Barry in it, so that the other actors could have had an episode of. That is how a normal show would have handled that storyline.

But sadly „The Flash“ ceased being one when Eric Wallace become showrunner.

#Arrowverse #More Top 100 Storylines we never got to see #The Flash #The Flash Season 7 #The Flash Season 8 #Iris West-Allen

[h50europe]

Why the myth about Steve's PTSD doesn't add up and other inconsistencies

In the last few episodes of H50, PL tried to sell us a mentally broken Steve suffering from PTSD. Only the whole thing came a bit too late. The clip you see is from season 4 and ended up - no, not in the series - but somewhere on the floor of PL's editing room. And why? after Kurtzman and Orci departed, along with their writers, PL took the helm and started turning Steve into a super-soldier. He stylized him into something that wasn't meant to be. Instead of developing the characters, PL began to incorporate more and more hair-raising action sequences into the series and then let Steve fight on the front lines. There was no mention of Steve's mental state, and a lot was explained by PL with: it just happened "offscreen." Yeah, sure. PL can't create a decent character. He can only produce stereotypes and one-dimensional beings. Like Adam. What potential would that character have had had he been turned into Five-0's antagonist? But no. So his role remained diffuse and monotonous. Sometimes even tragicomical.

Back to Steve. When SEAL Team started on CBS, PL also lapsed into SEAL mania. If someone who writes fanfiction were to produce as much garbage as this man did, he would be chased away from every writers' platform in disgrace. PL's Super SEAL also had to rescue his team members from a blazing inferno. Not man by man, no, he flew a helicopter right into the danger zone and lifted a whole cabin out of the burning jungle. If lunacy had a name, it would be PL. While the action became more and more exaggerated and unrealistic, the same happened to the protagonists. After the departure of Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park, PL completely lost his mind. And please, don't blame the writers for the nonsense that was thrown at you. A series stands and falls with the showrunner. He dictates what he wants and passes it on to his staff.

And so, lovable Steve became a soulless robot who only showed feelings here and there. Danny diminished more and more into a sidekick. McDanno became a ship that drifted anchorless through a stormy sea and threatened to capsize again and again. From season 8, it became a reboot of the reboot. PL tried an ensemble show and failed more than miserably. Often the actors just stood around bored. At least that was the impression. The only highlight was episode 8.10. A feast for all McDanno fans. But even here, the outcome of "who shot Danny" was more than insubstantial.

Wait, there was something about SEALs... Oh, yes. Junior appeared on the scene and became Steve's lapdog. I really wondered when there was going to be an episode where he would fetch sticks for Steve. Luckily we had Eddie for that. And because he thought he was so clever, PL invented the episode speed dating. How many subplots can you squeeze into one episode at the same time? In some episodes, you couldn't even take a look at the bag of potato chips without losing the thread.

The case of the week became the yawn of the week. There were so many loose ends that PL then came up with something called retconning. That's what you do when you're no longer satisfied with what was once established in the series years ago, or it no longer fits. But PL went one step further and did the same with the characters. The more the series was dragged out, the more the characters deteriorated and became OOC. It means, often, they were not recognizable at all. And that's where we come to Steve. Because PL, in his desperation, didn't know what else he could do to Steve, and so he killed Joe White. He did it in such a cheesy way with a fake sunset that it made you sick.

Of course, one episode later, there had to be another gig of PL's favorite Barbie. He stuck a fake beard on poor Steve/Alex, so he couldn't even hug Danny/Scott properly. The episode also raised more questions than it answered any. And Steve? He still didn't suffer from PTSD, even though he had now lost Joe White and a fellow SEAL. Everyone is dropping like flies, except for Steve, who is standing like a rock. No matter what. He doesn't need in-depth talks with Danny, nor psychological care, nor any sleeping pills. No, he's doing great. He also opens a restaurant with Danny because apparently, the carguments are already getting on PL's nerves. Unfortunately, this plot device leads into nirvana. The idea was nice, but nobody thought it through to the end. And the merry-go-round continues. Until we get to season 10, where it gets even more absurd. Now PL is almost bombarding us with McDanno episodes, or at least it should seem that way. Oh well, he's already planning for season 11, so a new character has to come on board quickly. While in the beginning, Steve's mother, Doris, dies.

Alex was allowed to take on the subject. Of course, only under the strict eyes of PL. He then nullifies Alex's idea that Steve kills his mother. Because a good soldier and Super SEAL won't do that. Little does PL know. THAT could have been the opening of a PTSD scenario for Steve. However, apart from that, this episode would have had any potential for a multi-arc. Just imagine Steve chasing his mother across multiple episodes. Again, PL stepped in and butchered Alex's episode. You can really feel sorry for the guy. PL at his best or worse? He just can't help it. And then, on the very last meters of the series, he brings someone new, who is allowed to cruise around with Steve most of the time. Because Danny was kidnapped by Wo Fat's widow, PL also invented quite late to have some villain at his disposal. This wannabe mastermind must really have been living under a rock somewhere if she wasn't even mentioned by her husband or appeared earlier.

Because towards the end, PL obviously ran out not only of steam but also of ideas, everything culminated in a wildly illogical scenario. Steve has to live through a dramatic day with Eddie, who stands as a metaphor for Steve (as I said, PTSD was never a thing for Super SEAL), Danny bangs his brains out in a ladies' room with a complete stranger, who dies shortly after that in an accident with Danny's rental car. Apparently, there was no budget to turn the Camaro into scrap metal. Danny then also goes home alone, ignoring the incoming emergency vehicles. Everything remains open at the end of the episode. While Steve expresses his gratitude to Tani and Quinn and says, he would be just as lost as poor Eddie without the dog and all of them. The strange thing is that you never notice anything until that sentence. A few forced dialogues are supposed to make the drama visible, but they all happen way too late or are so poorly written that you miss them.

PL had decided early on to make Steve a Teflon hero. That also means he didn't need to put much substance into the character. Which you can clearly see if you compare the first three seasons to the rest of the series. But towards the end, PL wanted to turn the tide and forcefully rewrote Steve's past. There is a huge difference if you compare Steve from seasons 1 to 3 with Steve from season 10. It is only a sparse remnant of what made this character so great. This change in Steve's personality also affects his relationship with Danny. The witty, affectionate banter degenerates into a snappy, humorless bitch-fest that takes all the joy out of it.

The final two episodes could have been written for any other crime show. As mentioned, we have Cole, who even gets a book'em Cole from Steve, which can only be described as out of line. And it begs the question, was that what Lenkov originally had in mind? Danny out of the show and Cole in? Was the last episode, which mainly featured McCole, something of a test run? Did all the McDanno moments happen only to tear the two apart eventually? Was the real final scene the one where Steve and Catherine take Danny's coffin back to Jersey? Was Danny not supposed to survive? Was that the real reason Steve wanted to get out of Hawaii because he wanted to pay his respects to Danny? And would he really have returned to Hawaii later? Or would he have turned his back on Hawaii? To me, this ending is more plausible than what PL served us. Then, Steve handed over his credentials to Cole instead of Danny, his second in command. Honestly, you can't make the end of a series any more sloppy and dumber than that. And I won't even lose a word about the last 1:30 minutes because I think everything has already been said.

No PL, mission absolutely not accomplished. You created Teflon-Steve. You never wanted him to show any weakness. You turned him into a superhuman who can survive anything. Only to pull the rug out from under him on the last few meters to the finish line and spit on his legacy. How can you dismantle such a great series and its characters like you did? How much do you have to hate something to do that? In the final interviews, the showrunner didn't exactly cover himself in glory either. Everyone who grew up with the series from day one knows that its end was wrong on all the possible levels and that the showrunner is solely to blame for that. It takes a fair amount of egoism and carelessness to drive 10 years at full throttle against the wall. Not many people can do that. Whether you can be proud of that, however, I doubt.

My respect if you have made it this far. Each of you gets 10 extra brownie points for it.

#McDanno #steve mcgarrett #danny williams #scott caan #alex o'loughlin #H50 the final chapter #H50 series finale #Lenkov #Eddie #Junior #seal team

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in July

Once again I’m doing my monthly round-up of movies I’ve watched. This was a good month for the cinema getting back on track and seeing new releases including the new M. Night movie, Old and James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. Pretty sure Marvel put out a new movie also. I’m hoping that this list can help in guiding a decision about what to watch (or what to avoid) and introduce people to movies they may otherwise not have heard of or bothered to see. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie and maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. Here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of July.

Bridesmaids (2011) - 4/10

Off to a good start. I won’t say Bridesmaids is a terrible movie but I don’t think I’m exactly the target audience. As far as I know, this is a beloved comedy but I just can’t get on board with all the boring, juvenile humour; with Maya Rudolph shitting in the street, with Rose Byrne and Kristen Wiig trying to one-up each other at a toast that went on forever, with Melissa McCarthy shitting in a sink… the conflict is so done to death and makes the movie feel unspecial. I do understand the appeal of the film, especially for women in that before this movie the likelihood of seeing something like this, where women play up the more crass and gross side of comedy, was probably few and far between. But the story is very tired and while I did appreciate some moments, namely a couple of decent jokes and some of the more intimate scenes, for the most part it felt like they wanted to corner a more quiet type of line delivery in a way that was supposed to be understated but very funny so as to not rely on over the top body language or musical cues, and it ended up being super dull.

Spectre (2015) - 7/10

As far as I can tell, a lot of people don’t like this instalment of the James Bond franchise… but I really enjoyed it! I’ve really taken a shine to these Daniel Craig-era Bond movies and while I can’t say any of them are the most amazing thing, I have a lot of fun with them. The biggest problem I have with Spectre is the villain being utterly pointless and uninteresting in basically every way. The idea of every villain Bond has fought before being tied to this one organisation controlled by this one guy is ridiculous, and what makes it worse is that the villain is barely in it! There’s so much that doesn’t come together in this but as it goes, I still had a really good time. Daniel Craig holds the whole thing together; he is excellent as 007 and the main reason I’m up for each of these movies is because of him. Sam Mendes directs again after the previous instalment and for what it’s worth I do think he does a good job with some of the action set pieces and the locations. I’m so ready for No Time To Die.

Shazam (2019) - 7/10

Shazam is a genuinely fun superhero movie that doesn’t take itself seriously at all. I was having a great time throughout and while it could conform to some of the same tropes we’re used to with these kinds of movies, it still remained playful and used the character of Shazam to his fullest potential in a way that showed an understanding of just how silly the idea of a kid who can turn into an adult and shoot lightning out of his hands is.

High School Musical (2006) - 6/10

So as you may or may not know, I co-host a podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon. It’s a film podcast and every week I get together with my other co-hosts and watch movies. For episode 38, we watched the High School Musical trilogy. This first movie blew me away. I was really surprised with just how much fun I had, and if you want to hear more of my thoughts on the film, please listen to episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 2 (2007) - 4/10

We then jumped into the second and while it’s certainly not as good as its predecessor, there are still some brilliant songs that manage to top the last movie. Again, more of what I have to say can be heard on episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008) - 3/10

Senior Year was pretty hard to get through. I don’t remember it being as bad as it was, but then I didn’t really remember it anyway. It did however have one redeeming quality, which you can discover on episode 38 of the podcast.

The Piano Teacher (2001) - 9/10

What the fuuuckkkk. The Piano Teacher is horrendously affecting and I was so upset when it ended, maybe not because it’s not what I wanted but because it’s just so fucking dour and unrelenting. This is the second Haneke movie I’ve seen (after the original Funny Games) and I’m so impressed with how well executed it is. Following a woman who teaches piano, we get a glimpse into the life she lives, how sheltered she is from living with her mother at an age where you’d reasonably expect a person to be living alone or with a partner or friends (even going so far as to be sleeping in the same bed as her), and how repressed she is sexually. It’s clear she’s never experienced any kind of sexual interaction or romantic love with another person, so she goes out of her way to take control and make that happen. The upsetting nature of it comes from just what she does in pursuit of it or as a result of her repression, and what is done to her. It is by no means a movie to recommend to your parents but The Piano Teacher offers so much in terms of the ideas it presents (and I’ll admit there seems to be a lot more going on than I think I picked up on a first go round) about women in modern society, and about the portrayal of sex and expectations of people when it comes to how that is represented in a person’s character depending on their gender. I really enjoyed this movie but it is not for the faint of heart.

Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011) - 1/10

My podcast co-hosts decided it’d be a right laugh to add Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure to this episode and that might have been a fun idea for them because they got to watch it together, but I was just watching it alone. Just a 24-year-old man watching Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure alone and having a miserable time, I might add. But for a short and sweet ramble on what we all thought, please listen to episode 38 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Dr. No (1962) - 6/10

A lot of very iffy parts of this movie. A lot of discomfort arising from how black people are portrayed that really didn’t sit right with me. As far as a Bond movie goes, this first instalment in the series is one I’ve seen before and it’s not wholly engaging but it plants the seeds for the rest, with Sean Connery breathing life into the role and making an otherwise lacklustre plot bearable.

Black Widow (2021) - 6/10

I think probably the best part about Black Widow is the experience I had while watching it. It was great being back in the cinema with a couple of friends in a packed theatre. The energy was high and I’m sure for a lot of people, this is the first time they’d been to the cinema since Endgame. For what it’s worth, I did have a lot of fun with Black Widow and I’ve explained more of what I thought about the movie in episode 39 of the podcast.

The Climb (2020) - 10/10

The Climb was added to Now TV recently and I already knew I loved it, having seen it in an empty cinema theatre last year, which I had an absolute blast with. The Climb details the years of a rocky friendship told over scenes filmed as one-shots. Not only is the presentation something to gawk at, but the performances by the two leads playing these friends with a terrifically dysfunctional dynamic is truly captivating. They’re both trying to figure out their own lives and where one can come across as being rather selfish, the opposite is true in his counterpart, whom everyone loves. This is a truly funny and heartwarming movie with a lot to say about how we choose to live our lives and who we choose to be with. It’s a shame the distributors of The Climb didn’t do a very good job because if not for it being available on Now TV, it would be near impossible to watch without forking out more money than is necessary to purchase a film.

From Russia With Love (1963) - 5/10

The second Bond movie. I thought perhaps I’d change my mind on it with another watch, having seen it for the first time maybe a year ago. But no, it’s still largely boring and it treats women like absolute garbage. From Russia With Love is one of those movies I forget as I watch it, and I was trying very hard (in the middle of the day!) not to fall asleep.

The Good, The Bart, and The Loki (2021) - 1/10

I don't usually talk about the short films I watch but for this I'll make an exception. As we all should know, Disney owns The Simpsons now, through their acquisition of Fox, so, coupled with another of their properties, that being Marvel, they decided to make a six-minute animated film wherein Marvel’s Loki is stranded in Springfield. This felt as though it was a minute long due to the horrendously jarring pacing; it is a movie that feels adamant that it needs to exist, while trying as hard as it can to be over as soon as possible. It serves only to stare the audience directly in the face and say “look, characters from The Simpsons are dressed as Avengers”, shit out three credit scenes, then end before you’ve even processed the atrocity you just bore witness to.

Russian Ark (2002) - 8/10

For this next episode of the podcast, we watched a few Russian movies, starting with Russian Ark, a film shot completely in one take as the camera moves about a luxurious museum in a first-person perspective as this main character watches what is happening around him, seeing people moving about the place but unable to interact with them, guided only by another man who seems to be just slightly out of his own perception of reality. This is a tremendous feat in filmmaking and more can be heard about what I have to say in episode 39 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Ivan’s Childhood (1962) - 7/10

For my own pick of Russian movies to discuss on the podcast, I chose the debut feature from one of my favourite directors, Andrei Tarkovsky. It’s amazing that while this is not his best film by far, Ivan’s Childhood is still such a stellar debut, jumping around in its timeline as it details a child’s experience in the second world war. Again, I do go into more depth in episode 39 of the podcast, so be sure to check that out.

Outlaw (2019) - 1/10

The third movie chosen for this marathon is apparently the fourth Russian LGBTQ+ movie ever made. I’m unsure of the ultimate goal of this movie but what seems to be clear is that it hates the LGBTQ+ community. This is perhaps the worst film we’ve discussed on the podcast to date, so listen to episode 39 to understand exactly why it’s such trash.

Almost Famous (2000) - 7/10

I too love heavy music and also studied journalism so it stands to reason that a movie about a teenager who makes his way onto a band tour, following them through America and interviewing them as they hang out and play shows is going to be a premise that resonates with me. This certainly did. I enjoyed Almost Famous a lot; this kid is living the dream and I was so along for the ride, seeing a lot of myself in what was being portrayed. That said, the story itself is at times a bit by the numbers and I really would’ve been more on board if the visual component was more interesting. For what it is, technically it’s fine enough but nothing in that department ever jumped out at me.

Minari (2021) - 8/10

It’s crazy that this didn’t get a theatrical run where I live in the UK. It feels as though I complain about film distribution all the time but I really don’t understand the process by which a movie gets no cinematic release and yet, months later will pop up on the front shelf of hmv, taking pride of place. But of course I got the blu-ray straight away. Minari has a lot to say about the immigrant experience, specifically in America as a family comes over from Korea and tries to start a business and make something of themselves. You get to see a lot of what you might not think twice about when you think about immigration: the hardship of coming from a place where you know everyone to somewhere rural and sparsely populated, having to make friends with locals and integrate within the community; the strain it can put on a family and on a marriage where this idea is presented about the importance of making it on your own in order to live and not just survive, while also taking into account why you’re doing it in the first place and the value you place on being part of a family that you decided to make because that was more important than money, than economy, than proving you were good enough to make it in a place that gave you very little advantage from the offset. This concept of the promised land, of the American dream is a construct. There are times when it’s not pretty, when you have no running water, or you’re in debt, or a family member is dying and it just feels like you’ve been dealt as bad a hand as you can get. But it is better to know you’re not facing all that alone.

Roma (2018) - 10/10

This was my recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. Roma is as beautiful as it is heart-wrenching and I would recommend listening to episode 40 of the podcast to find out more about my thoughts.

An American Werewolf In London (1981) - 8/10

In all fairness, London is enough to make anyone a little crazy at the best of times. An American Werewolf in London showcases some fantastically grotesque effects, akin to something like Carpenter’s The Thing, in showing the dead brought back to life and a horrifically gory transformation scene. Although the film is from the perspective of an American protagonist, directed also by an American, the depiction of British culture and climate is something I’ve not seen many films pull off quite so well, and I was pleasantly surprised at the more comedic tone the film has overall, which is something that works more in its favour than straight horror would.

The Party’s Just Beginning (2018) - 6/10

Karen Gillan’s directorial debut is… pretty good! There are a lot of ideas I like in this movie: a woman living life and through convenient circumstances, is confronted with death in many ways. Gillan obviously knows her homeland as well as she can, imbuing the whole thing with an intensely Scottish vibe (though maybe not in the same vein as something like Trainspotting) that makes it a bit more unique than a more run of the mill movie of this ilk, backed up in no small part by her own main performance. The plot itself is no great diversion from the kind of story I’m used to with these smaller movies and for something that’s trying to include messaging about transgender issues and suicide, it probably could have been handled better or done in a different way.

Solaris (1972) - 9/10

Another Tarkovsky joint, one I thought I’d revisit to see if there was indeed more to get out of it a second time. Well, it’s no surprise that yes, there was certainly more to get out of it. Solaris is a crazy trip of a movie and I would liken it to Kubrick’s 2001 in terms of how grand the scale of it feels. Yet this is a film that comes across as deeply personal, choosing to focus on a specific character as he goes to a space station to help those on board who are experiencing some kind of emotional crises, only to feel the effects of the planet, Solaris invading his own mind as it has the crew. To many, I can see this lengthy Russian sci-fi being a tad slow but my personal experience is one of deep engagement. Solaris pulls its viewer in a lot of different directions and it is always doing something unexpected in terms of where its narrative goes. There’s a lot to think about with the movie and thankfully it’s no chore to watch again.

Y Tu Mamá También (2001) - 9/10

Another recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. This is a very relaxed experience, following three young people as they go on a road trip, visit different places and have sex. Listen to episode 40 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast for more of my thoughts.

Children of Men (2006) - 10/10

My favourite Cuarón movie, one that never stops being tense as its characters are constantly moving towards the end goal. Set in a future where humans are infertile, the oldest living person is 18, and London is the last city in the world that’s still keeping it together, somewhat. This is masterclass filmmaking. Listen to episode 40 of the podcast for more insights.

Minority Report (2002) - 5/10

I’m really not the biggest fan of Spielberg… Minority Report is an interesting movie in terms of its concept of stopping crimes before they happen by way of prediction, but I just didn’t connect with the heart of it. The colouring is way too overexposed in a way that’s supposed to be eliciting a futuristic vibe but instead feels so early-2000’s in the worst way. My biggest problem with Minority Report is just how long it is, clocking in at two hours and twenty-five minutes which allows for a lot of meandering, all while never quite developing characters enough for you to care about.

Caché (2005) - 9/10

Oh god! Another Michael Haneke movie! Here we see a couple periodically sent video tapes featuring hours of footage of the outside of their house. The anxiety ratchets up and the mystery gets deeper with every minute. There’s always at least one moment in any of his films that have so far made me realise just how out of my depth I am. Caché is no exception, and I won’t spoil anything here because I think it’s better just to watch the movie and see for yourself. He is a director that wants the audience to know something and that something is never what is explicitly shown at face value; it is pressed into the fabric of the film - plainly evident, yet hidden. Caché is so stupidly clever in displaying its themes and messaging - making reference to the Siene Massacre of 1961 as well as a deeper study of colonialism - and there’s no way to change a single detail of it without risking the Jenga tower crumbling to the ground. It all works in tandem. It is passion and fury and haunting.

Coco (2017) - 7/10

Pixar had a string of around seven forgettable movies before this point so thankfully Coco emerged to show the company still had something good in them. Coco deals a lot with themes of death and legacy, remembering those who are gone in order to preserve them and while its plotting is quite basic and there are certainly moments that either drag or cannot escape the same Pixar formula, most of what the movie has to offer is a lot of fun, with creative, colourful animation and emotional beats that resonate the way they’re supposed to.

Incredibles 2 (2018) - 5/10

Oh, they almost had it! There's a lot here that could have been explored in far more interesting ways. Setting Incredibles 2 directly after the events of the first movie was not a good idea. If it had taken place five or ten years after, the characters could have been in different places in life and it would feel as though they'd actually changed and developed. But instead of trying to be a film that actually cares about its characters and the journeys they go on, a lot of the film is wrestling with the idea that Bob isn't supportive of his wife and Jack-Jack has to fight a raccoon… They have to shoehorn in a villain that in no way compares to the genius of the original. The ending of the original introduces another antagonist that gets wrapped up within this film's first ten minutes, except they don't catch him and he's never mentioned again. It's a real shame because the animation is fantastic and the acting is superb and there are great ideas sprinkled throughout. It just doesn't come together.

Toy Story 4 (2019) - 6/10

I was rather reluctant to watch Toy Story 4 because from the get-go I’m not really here for sequels being made just for the sake of it. Everyone loves Toy Story and making another one is a sure fire way to make money. This is the first time I’ve seen Toy Story 4 and for what it’s worth, I did enjoy it. The animation is immaculate and that alone feels like a huge flex from Pixar who tend to step up the game when it comes to animation in film, despite not having the best track record for films generally at this point. While it was nice to see these characters again, I found a lot of them to be side-lined (namely Buzz) in favour of a story that focuses mainly or entirely on Woody, who I just don’t like as much as in the previous movies. Generally the movie is good and decent enough but there’s no real antagonist and the plot is quite loose… it doesn’t feel as though it needed to be made from a story point of view.

Onward (2020) - 6/10

And with that I have seen every Pixar movie. And Onward is a fine one to go out on. While I don’t think it compares to the likes of earlier Pixar it’s still pretty fun. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for a medieval setting filled with bright colours and magic! Speaking of which, the animation was super and the medieval quest element is something that hooked me with the film. Again, plot-wise it does feel very familiar and I don’t know, maybe I’m past the point now of expecting Pixar to mix it up where their formula for story-telling is concerned but the movie is quite predictable. Nonetheless, while I’m not rushing back to see Onward I would hardly turn it off or refuse if someone wanted to watch it.

Old (2021) - 3/10

Oh boy! New M. Night movie dropped and my word, was it fun! For more of my thoughts on this… masterpiece (?) of a movie, please direct your attention to episode 41 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

T2 Trainspotting (2017) - 5/10

Trainspotting is perhaps one of my favourite movies and I had never bothered with the sequel, 20 years on, because the ending of that first movie is so conclusive. T2 felt more an excuse for these guys to get together again and in that, I probably would have preferred a couple of pictures on Twitter of the main cast and director, Danny Boyle having dinner or something. This is a fine movie - very arty in its presentation but meandering and dull in its story that doesn’t offer much in the way of proof that it had to exist.

Taste of Cherry (1997) - 9/10

What makes life worth living? This is a central question and theme of Taste of Cherry, and one that leaves such interpretation not only up to its central character but to the viewer as well. This film got me thinking about times in my life when I truly have had no answer to hard questions. Because it’s hard to convince people of things they are so adamantly against and harder still to rationalise what you believe if you’re not even entirely sure why you believe it in the first place. We are all of us alive and in recognising that, does that make it precious? And if indeed living is not a happy thing, why then should we fight so hard to preserve it? I felt upset as I watched this movie because I’ve been asked these kinds of questions before and it makes me feel stupid when I’m unable to answer. But the only real answer I can give is, everything. And if you can’t see the point then you’re not looking hard enough. Taste of Cherry is beautiful in its exploration of these topics and in its overall presentation, offering some of the best visuals in any movie I’ve seen - fitting for a feature with so much to say about the beauty of life - and an ending that as much pulls the rug out from under you as it does pull you out of the dark and make you realise just how lonely you’ve felt.

Bones (2001) - 2/10

Snoop Dogg is Jimmy Bones! This film is super funny but I’m not sure it’s trying to be and I really didn’t love it overall. But I do talk more in depth about it in episode 41 of the podcast.

The Duchess (2008) - 5/10

Another recommendation for the podcast. The Duchess was pretty much exactly what I thought it was going to be and there’s a lot to like about it but generally it’s a bit sparse. For more chat on the movie, listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) - 1/10

This was another one for the podcast and man, was it awful. We had to watch it at 1.5x speed towards the end because it just wasn’t getting finished otherwise. To find out more, make sure to listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) - 7/10

Pull the lever, Kronk! Haha! Slays me. I do quite miss this era of Disney, where the animation was hand-drawn and the stories were actually compelling and funny. The Emperor’s New Groove is vibrant, it’s got great characters and memorable moments that will forever be ingrained in the memory of culture. All in all, it’s just a solid flick that doesn’t waste time, developing the standard fall from glory type of arc but smoothly and in an entertaining way.

The Suicide Squad (2021) - 8/10

Oh, bloody hell! They actually made a good one! The Suicide Squad is not only better than the ‘Suicide Squad’ of 2016 in every way, it’s a genuinely great film! This time, James Gunn (director of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies) is at the helm and it seems clear that Warner Bros. basically let him do what he wanted with the movie, as it doesn’t seem to bog itself down with the restrictions of a more family-friendly rating. The result of this is a far cleaner, colourful film with a clearer vision that takes from early Vietnam movies and uses that style to craft a superhero/villain movie that differentiates itself among the copious amount of existing films of the genre.      The Suicide Squad wastes very little time, introducing fun, crazy characters we’ve not seen on the big screen before and isn’t worried about killing a whole bunch of them, with standouts being Elba’s Bloodsport, Melchior’s Ratcatcher 2, Stallone’s King Shark (expertly rendered with fantastic visual effects), and Robbie’s returning interpretation of Harley Quinn.      A lot of Gunn’s trademark sense of humour is laced throughout and more often than not, it hits. The audience at the cinema were truly loving this movie and I’ll admit, I was right there with them. This mix of the gritty, gory and absurd is not something that should work as well as it does but the basic premise of the film is already so silly (and boy, do they know it) that it just works! Certainly one of the best DC movies since The Dark Knight and one I’d be more than happy to watch again. This is what the modern comic book movie should be: just balls to the wall fun!

#july #movies #wrap-up #film #follow for more #Twitter: @MHShukster #children of men #roma #the climb #the piano teacher #solaris #y tu mamá también #y tu mama tambien #taste of cherry #caché #cache #the suicide squad #an american werewolf in london #russian ark #minari #coco #spectre #shazam #ivan's childhood #almost famous #the emperor's new groove #high school musical #toy story 4 #black widow #onward

[juniaships]

My Issues With Sam Manson

Or, please stop simplifying legitimate criticisms we have with this girl.

Lately I've also been seeing these same points talking about how the phandom dislikes Sam for the crime of being a teenage girl. There are legitimate problems with her character and the harmful message she spread. Frankly put I'm so sick & tired of seeing our complaints be reduced to "you only hate her because she's a woman!!"

We don't dislike Sam because she's a teenage girl (anyone who do has serious issues to work out) but because the narrative excuses her flaws and bad attitude.

What I mean by that is, she has flaws, which is perfectly fine, but rarely faces detriments for them and even gets rewarded. She got no chances of growing, in fact with each season she got worse. The writers wanted to put her on a pedestal at the cost of other female characters. ESPECIALLY nonwhite girls.

The writers do not develop her beyond confirming her endgame with Danny. She never learned to open her mind or being respectful of other girls' interests. Despite some episodes that COULD have had her views challenged & she grows from them. She never learned to temper her hypocrisy. Sam never made up with her parents - we don't even see their side of the story - her character remained the same. She ended up rewarded with a guy she called selfish and boring because he gave up his powers - to protect her & his own family. The overfocus of such romantic subplot came at the cost of literally every other girl in the series. They were put down to reinforce "Sam is Right." Heck Danny himself was dumbed down a bit to make Sam a well of wisdom.

In Girls Night Out she talked down to Jazz as if implying the latter didn't know how to handle ghosts. In her very first episode she changed the school lunch menu to food only SHE would eat without any consultation or mindfulness of allergies for that matter. In Phantom Planet she barely contributed beyond screeching at Danny for being just another boring human which only gives weight to the sentiment that she only loved him for his powers (ergo uniqueness). She was never made to held the same level as the male characters. In Fact half the time she had to get involved is a problem she started first. Sam fell in love with a guy because he looked similar to Danny's Ghost Form (again only adding more weight to the "she only loved him for his powers" argument).

Especially at the cost of characters like Valerie and Paulina. Valerie's arc never got completed because at that point the writers wanted to get the cogs going for Amethyst Ocean as quickly as possible. The last we see of her is standing in the background clapping and cheering. No resolution for her and Danny. She didn't even contribute in her Huntress Form. Valerie was a crucial part in the first two season of the show. She was relatable and sympathetic, she had challenges to overcome. Her flaws weren't excused and she had to LEARN and grow from a stuck up brat to a vengeful hunter to an understanding anti heroine. We were so close to seeing her arc get closure. Heck Valerie even gave up Danny because she wanted to protect him for her own secret life as a ghost hunter. Her chemistry with Danielle was also would've done wonders with her arc. But in S3 it was forgotten, she was forgotten, all to push the Sam as endgame. Weird considering she spied on Danny & Valerie out of envy when they went on their date. Then she had the nerve to call out Danny for spying on her & Gregor when the only reason did so to protect her form being targeted by an evil ghost or the Guys in White. Sam didn't even feel compassion for Val when her dad lost his job and she ended uo living in horrible conditions abandoned by fake friends. And Sam's supposed to be the nice one??

Paulina at least got comeuppance for her crappy behavior but again she was demonized as worse than Sam because of her femininity. You could say she and Sam were foils (which they are) but Paulina was written to be worse than she actually was while Sam did truly selfish things and never truly addressed.

The Beauty Pageant episode....boy that was a DOOZY of a plot. She willingly joined a pageant to complain about high beauty standards and shallow girls, when literally NONE of the other models pressured her into joining or bullied her. She even WON yet had the audacity to throw the trophy on the ground in an extremely unsportsmanlike act. The narrative supports her action despite her clearly being in the wrong.

Her having flaws in of itself is not the problem but, the way the show HANDLES her flaws as if they're strengths to be emulated. Yes you could say that Sam herself was wasted potential. Then again she was Butch's intended pet character and the main love interest so of course she had to be Perfect! She should've had a meaningful arc but no. She's still that same obnoxious excuse for a Strong Female Character that the show forces us to sympathise with.

This isn't me saying you should start hating Sam. This is me saying please take the time to read our legitimate complaints before strawmanning us. Sam reinforces the tired Not Like Other Girls Trope, the two biggest victims being WOC, and the show treats this as a good thing. It is not a good thing, seeing interesting female characters esp. Woc be put down to put a very poorly written character on a pedestal.

#Anti Sam Manson #Danny Phantom #Bad Writing #Anti Butch Hartman #internalized misogyny #sexism in media

[justaswampdemon]

The Place You Need To Reach

Finally finished the first chapter of a Buck Begins fic I started...when the episode airs...Biggest of shoutouts to @marjansmarwani for the title help and also all the support and encouragement.  You’re the best!

Read it here on AO3

Bobby’s phone rings loud from the night table, waking him with a start. Looking at the clock he groans, 12:45am glaring at him. Whatever irritation he feels is quickly overridden by Captain Mode. He reaches for his phone, already concerned. It skyrockets to worry when he sees Buck’s name lighting up his screen. He’d been worried when they found out Buck’s parents were visiting. The few vague things he’s heard plus what he's been able to piece together did not paint a pretty picture. Then this morning Buck had been waling on the punching bags while Eddie watched with carefully hidden concern. Bobby had hoped that had gotten some of the overwhelming emotions out, helped the kid get back on solid ground, but a call any time after midnight is never a good sign.

“Buck?” He sits up, getting a grumble from where Athena had been tucked against his shoulder. There’s no answer, just shaky breaths barely audible. “Buck what’s wrong?”

Athena rubs her eyes and turns her laser focus on her husband as she wakes up fully.

Another stuttering breath, followed by a sniffle and all the parental warning bells in Bobby’s head are going haywire. “Buck, c’mon kiddo I need you to talk to me here.”

“Bobby…” Buck sounds wrecked, his voice trembling and small. He sounds young and scared and Bobby shares a nervous look with Athena.

“Where are you?” He starts simple, all his first responders training kicking in to get Buck somewhere safe.

“Um...I just kind of started driving…” The pause on the other end of the line is agonizing. “I’m by the pier.”

That sends all kinds of alarms off in his head again. Buck drove to the pier, completely without thinking, and Bobby changes tactics slightly. He doesn’t just need to get Buck somewhere safe, he needs to get Buck here. “Are you ok to get here or do you need me to pick you up?” He’d drive to the middle of nowhere to get Buck if that’s what the kid needed.

“I can drive.” There’s a hint of stubbornness back in his voice, but it does nothing to settle Bobby’s nerves.

“Ok.” Bobby slips into Captain mode, hoping it helps keep Buck focused and present. “I want you to stay on the phone with me, and come straight here. Can you do that?”

Buck takes a few breaths, gathering himself and when he answers he sounds at least a bit more like himself. Athena is already up, changing into lounge clothes and grabbing her phone. “Yeah Cap, I can do that.”

He nods, more to himself, “good job Buck. You stay with me alright? You don’t have to talk, just listen to my voice and focus on driving.” Grabbing a sweatshirt and his slippers, he tucks the phone against his ear. Buck is so quiet, it’s possibly the longest the kid has gone without talking, especially to Bobby. He always has an obscure fact to share, knowing his Captain was always interested. Sometimes they were ridiculous, or it was something Bobby already knew, but they had bonded over loving weird facts. The way Buck had lit up when he realized Bobby was actually interested had firmly placed him in Bobby’s heart.

Making his way into the kitchen he sees Athena putting the kettle on, kissing her cheek and getting a supportive one armed hug. “How we doin Buck?”

“Almost there.”

“Ok, you’re doing good.” There’s another shaky exhale, and something close to a sob breaking from Buck’s throat. “Hey did you know Einstein issued the patent for Toblerone chocolate?” He doesn’t wait for a response, knows the words don’t matter as much as just having Buck hear his voice. “He was working at the patent office as a way to occupy his brain while figuring out equations.” He keeps offering up facts as he opens the front door. As soon as a familiar jeep parks behind his truck he hangs up.

He meets Buck half way, taking in the hunch of his shoulders and the way he avoids meeting Bobby’s eyes. Wrapping an arm around him he guides the kid inside and gets him settled on the couch.

Athena presses a cup of tea into his hands, sitting next to him with a gentle hand on his arm. Buck deflates at the contact, still not meeting either of their eyes. “What happened Buckaroo?”

Buck’s quiet, mouth twisting and leg bouncing. They give him time, let him gather his thoughts. “I was doing so good...I was getting better and in two dinners they’ve just…undone it all.” He breaks off into a sob and Bobby is moving before he realizes it, sitting on Buck’s other side and pulling him into his arms as Athena takes his mug from shaking hands. Buck falls apart in front of their eyes, years of hurt finally breaking free. “They never...they never cared. When they’d look at me it was like they were staring right through me, they’d barely acknowledge I was there unless I was hurt or I fucked up…then they’d have to look at me…but I was never enough and I tried.” He sounds almost pleading as he chokes the words out through tears. “Bobby, I really tried to be good enough for them to love me and all they could say was how difficult I made it...how difficult we made it for them. I just wanted them to love me and instead they gave up on me.”

“Buck you listen to me right now. You do not have to earn your parents love.” Athena holds his face in her hands, trying to get him to look at her. “Kids are difficult. That’s just called being a kid. Our job as parents is to love our kids no matter what. We love you, no matter what, and we are so so proud of the man you are.”

His eyes meet Athena’s for a moment and then go blank again. A harsh laugh grates out of his chest, “they never even wanted another son...they never wanted me.”

“Buck, what do you mean another son?” Bobby tries to think back on what he knows about Buck’s family, but as far as he’s heard it’s just him and Maddie.

Bobby lets him free of the hug as he tries to get the words out. “I had a brother…he was older and he got sick. They needed bone marrow and no one else in our family was a match.” The pieces fall into place and Bobby wants to vomit. Buck was a savior baby, and like he could hear Bobby’s thoughts he closes his eyes against fresh tears. “They had me for parts. But it didn’t work and Daniel died…and they were stuck with me when I’d already failed to do the only thing I was made for.”

Over where Buck has hunched back over, hiding his face in his hands, Athena and Bobby share a shocked and horrified look. Without hesitating Athena wraps him in a protective hug, eyes fierce even as her voice murmurs comforting nonsense. On the table Bobby’s phone rings, a quick glance showing Eddie’s calling. Bobby places a steady hand on his back, “I’m guessing Eddie’s looking for you? Do you want me to tell him where you are?”

Without moving from the safety of Athena’s arms Buck nods and lets out another choking sob. “I was supposed to come over for movie night…After I left Maddie’s I just sort of, I don’t know I guess I checked out. I don’t even know what time it is.” Suddenly he sits straight up, eyes wide. “Shit! I missed movie night! And it’s probably the middle of the night and I woke you up and—”

Before he can work himself into a full panic Bobby squeezes his shoulder. “It’s ok Buck, we’re here for you whenever you need us. Don’t worry about what time it is.” Internally he’s trying not to let the terror of Buck so out of it he completely lost himself cloud his mind. He needs to keep a clear head, needs to be the steady rock Buck is searching for. “Now do you want me to tell Eddie you’re here?”

“He’s worried I bet…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry him.”

Grabbing his phone Bobby stands and sees multiple missed calls from Eddie and Chimney, “he’ll understand just like we do. We’re all here for you Buck, you’re not alone.” Athena hands Buck his tea, coaxing him to take a few sips while he calls Eddie back. After one ring it picks up and Eddie’s frantic voice fills his ear. “Cap, we can’t find Buck. I don’t know what happened when he went over to Chim and Maddie’s but she’s almost inconsolable and Chimney is flipping out. He won’t answer the phone and he was supposed to come over. Albert said he never went back to the loft either…”

Quickly he steps outside, not wanting Buck to hear how scared Eddie sounds, it would only make him feel worse. “Eddie, take a breath, Buck is here.” He’s about to say that Buck’s alright but there’s no way Eddie would buy it. “He’s here and he’s safe. We’ve got him.”

There’s a sigh of relief and no small amount of swearing in Spanish. “Ok…ok good. I’ll text Chim and let him know.” A pause and then a little quieter, “do you know what happened?”

“His entire world just got turned upside down, it’s not my place to say any more than that…but he’s going to need us, need you, more than ever.” Glancing inside he sees his wife pulling Buck to lean against her again, a strong arm around his shoulders.

“Whatever he needs.” Eddie says simply, a little bit of calm working through his voice now that he knows Buck is safe. “Can Christopher and I come over tomorrow?”

“Of course, I’ll make breakfast.” Thank god they’re off shift tomorrow, Bobby has no idea how they’d manage to convince Buck to take the day off. The kid would almost immediately take it as a sign he’d done something wrong. So much of his behavior, his actions, are suddenly making sense and Bobby would very much like to have strong words with Buck’s parents. “Get some rest Eddie, I’ll call you if anything changes but we’ll see you in the morning.”

“Right, thank you Bobby.”

“Of course Eddie, take care of yourself and get some sleep.” Bobby hangs up and walks back inside and immediately Buck’s eyes shoot to his. “He’s not mad Buck, he’s just worried about you. I told him to bring Christopher over for breakfast.”

Buck looks completely drained as he sags with relief. His eyes are red and puffy and exhaustion radiates from every line of his body. With a quick squeeze Athena stands, “I’ll get the guest room all set up for you.” Buck looks like he’s about to apologize and Bobby’s heart breaks. “Don’t you dare apologize,” Athena says firmly. “You’re not being any trouble and we want you here. I know I’ll feel better if I know you’re here safe and sound.”

“Thank you…” Buck smiles at her, still subdued but genuine. Athena pauses to kiss the top of his head before heading down the hallway. Bobby takes her place on the couch and can’t help wrapping an arm around Buck in another protective hug. “I think you and Athena have hugged me more tonight than my parents have in my whole life…” Buck admits and Bobby wants to smack some sense into these people.

Anyone who’s spent more than 15 minutes with Buck can tell he thrives on physical contact. He takes every opportunity to be close to the people he loves. It’s the most obvious with Eddie, who’s always accepted Buck into his personal space even before they started to slide from friends to more, but Buck is quick with his affection and gets this almost surprised glee when he gets some in return. He soaks up love like a sponge and now they know why.

Athena comes back a few minutes later, giving them a fond look. “What do you think kiddo? Wanna try and get some sleep?” Bobby asks, rubbing a hand over Buck’s back.

“Yeah…I’m pretty drained Pops.” Together they stand up from the couch and follow Athena through the hallway.

“I put a pair of Bobby’s sweat pants and a sweatshirt on the bed.” Athena hugs him again, managing to tuck him against her so Buck looks small in her arms. He sniffles a little and steps back with a twist to his mouth.

Giving him a supportive pat on the shoulder, Bobby smiles at him. “We’re at the end of the hall if you need us.” Buck surprises him by reaching out and wrapping his arms around Bobby, squeezing tight before stepping back with a nod. “Thanks again…Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Buckaroo.” Athena smiles and grabs Bobby’s hand as they head to their room. They hear the door shut just as they shut their own and Bobby’s shoulders sag. Athena on the other hand starts pacing, eyes stormed over. “No wonder he was like that when he first came here. It was probably the only way he thought he could get any attention…we see it all the time with neglected kids.” Suddenly she pauses, spinning to face Bobby. “And Maddie! They probably made her keep it a secret…that poor girl had to just ignore that her brother had died and become a parent to the other one.”

Bobby rubs his hands over his face. “Eddie said she’s beside herself…inconsolable is the word he used…”

“I’ll call her in the morning and check on her.” Athena decides, finally crawling back into bed. Joining her under the covers, Bobby pulls her into his arms and takes comfort in the way she grips him just as tight. It’s a long time before they manage to fall asleep.

~~

Buck leans against the door as it shuts. He feels…empty isn't the right word. More like he's been hollowed out and filled with cotton stuffing, nothing left in him but lumps and cheap fiber. Pulling his wallet and keys out of his pocket he tosses them on the night table, pausing as he pulls his phone out next. He turns it over in his hands as he sits on the bed, debating turning do not disturb off or ignoring the shitstorm that's probably growing in his notifications.

Taking a deep breath he sets it down and changes into his borrowed pjs. The sweatpants are a little big but actually long enough for once, and the sweatshirt is just loose enough it wraps him in comfort. Curling up under the blankets, Buck lets the feeling of safety wash over him. Snatching his phone from where he’d set it on the table he checks his battery life. It’s low but enough for him to pull up his recent calls and quickly select Eddie’s name.

It’s only two rings before the line picks up, “Buck?”

“Hey Eds…”

“Buck, baby are you ok?” Eddie goes from groggy to awake in a heartbeat and Buck closes his eyes against the worry staining his voice.

“Not really…no, but I’m better than I was.” He’s too tired to pretend right now, breath hitching, “I’m so sorry Eddie…I know Christopher is probably mad at me and I’m sure you are too 'cause I let him down and I didn’t mean to worry you…”

“Hey hey hey, it’s ok Buck.” Eddie cuts off the frantic apologies that seem to be forcing themselves from his throat. “Take a breath for me.”

There’s no way Buck can resist the softness in his words, following the gentle instructions until his breathing settles down. “I’m not mad Buck,” Eddie continues now that Buck’s not halfway to hyperventilating, “and neither is Christopher. We were worried about you, but you’re somewhere safe and that’s what matters.”

“Did you tell Maddie and Chim where I was?” Buck knows he probably did, he highly doubts they didn’t blow Eddie’s phone up when Buck went radio silent.

There’s a sigh on the other end of the phone, “yeah…They were terrified.” Buck feels a weird mix of guilt and anger flare up, and Eddie reads his mind as always. “I also told them to let you come to them, and to give you some space.” He hears the shifting of blankets before Eddie continues, “I know that whatever happened feels like your entire world just blew up…But remember that me and Christopher are here and we love you. Whatever it was, we'll be right here with you, ok?”

“Ok…I love you both too.” Buck wraps Eddie’s words around him, another layer of warmth under the borrowed sweatshirt. “Hey babe?” Eddie hums in questions. “Can you stay on the phone a little longer?”

“Yeah, I’m here Buck, for as long as you need me.”

It’s mostly quiet after that, a few murmured words of comfort and affection passed back and forth, but eventually Buck hears Eddie’s breathing even out and lets it soothe him enough to close his own eyes.

#swamp demon writes #my fic #buddie #firefam #I will always be weak for Bobby calling Buck kiddo

[variousqueerthings]

Tory Nichols Is Not Okay (and other predictable book-titles)

I’ve been trying to figure out some things around Tory that make me very protective of her as a character + hopeful for more in-depth writing of her character in upcoming seasons.

1. within the story she differs from literally every other main in that she’s the single character without a support network to fall back on. Even Robby, who’s having A Tough Fucking Time, could theoretically have a moment where he figures out that Kreese (and probably Silver once he’s in the picture) is the fucking worst and Daniel, Johnny, Shannon, and Amanda would want him to come back, hell I imagine that next season will have Daniel and Johnny thinking a lot about how exactly to convince Robby to give them a second chance - as of end season 3, Tory hasn’t got anyone fighting in her corner at all.

This isn’t in the sense of characters competing about trauma or who-has-it-worse or who’s more likely to become a villain or anything. It’s just something interesting I’ve noted, because there’s never been a character like her in the movies or the show, one who is going through stuff quite as bad as what she’s being presented as going through: No support, no money, no friends.

2. I find it interesting that she doesn’t (at the moment) have any direct connection to either Daniel or Johnny - the two cores of the show. Sure she was Johnny’s student for a hot second, but I don’t think they had a single meaningful interaction.

She interacted with Aisha first, which - when they wrote Aisha off the show (actually probably the thing I most disagree with in this story, because it left several question marks hanging in the air) - meant that the first grounding element she had in the story was lost.

Then she interacted with Sam and I think the core of their rivalry - that Sam represents everything Tory can’t have VS the complicated mix of privilege (which I’m hoping will be brought up) + the way Cobra Kai took her best friend and boyfriend from her + everything she’s internalised from Daniel - is really really cool and some of Tory’s strongest moments come from that, because the two play off each other so well and this show is all foils and nemeses. Hopefully the show won’t try to simplify this into “boyfriend troubles.”

Then there’s Miguel Which, obviously there’s some complicated stuff going on there, but in the end, beyond jilted lovers, I personally find her actual relationships with Aisha and Sam more interesting, although the general sense of “oh great, betrayed again, why did I think anything different would happen” + at the same time getting an insight into something inherently self-destructive, (in that she deliberately went for a guy she knew wasn’t over his ex) has some good elements to it.

(there’s Hawk as well, but that’s more casual-trauma-friendship-with-a-dose-of-egging-each-other-on, the two of them aren’t really close).

And lastly there’s Kreese. Who is. The only person who knows what she’s going through. We have one episode with a couple of scenes + a handful of comments that indicate where she’s at and where she’s at is not good. 

3. Tory is maybe a tough sell right off the bat, because of several factors: she’s mainly angry and violent, she’s (as stated above) not emotionally connected to the two leads and her only other relationships right now are antagonistic or written off the show or... Kreese. Robby is going to be there in season 4 which’ll offer some nice opportunities, but for the moment they’re pretty much strangers.

She was introduced later than anyone else we’ve got right now (characters from the movies notwithstanding, but we do already know those + they are connected to Daniel) and her first meaningful interaction was with Aisha, who, I will reiterate, I feel should not have been written off the darn show, but I digress. There was some really interesting interaction going on between her and Aisha and failing to make good on that kind of meant that there was a sense of floatiness to Tory’s first introduction - suddenly this relationship doesn’t matter, oh okay I guess? Reboot. 

That being said I think she’s a very bold addition to the show and I’m curious about where the story will go with Tory next, since imo her first two seasons were about building her character to a point where she could become an Antagonist with some hidden depths. 

I’m expecting based on the first three seasons of the show that those depths will be revisited and respected.

4. I think I’m hoping for Sam to realise what’s going on there, for Sam to try and help, for Sam to realise that, actually, Tory’s problems extend faaaar beyond her and she was more like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’d like this as well because while it might’ve been a weakness before that Tory wasn’t connected to Daniel or Johnny, now that can become a strength - the story can really start to move beyond them and into the ways that the younger characters interact with each other in a more forgiving + healing + understanding way (using their lessons, which... might? become more unified now? perchance? since they’re on the same side for the first time in... ever?)

I’d like for another adult to get involved there, but I’d absolutely love it if the first steps came from Sam and Tory, rather than Daniel or Johnny or any other adult noticing this kid needs some help. It’d be sad and hopeful all at once for them to have the realisation that sometimes kids just fall through the cracks, but then Tory can be supported by her peers first and foremost.

I wouldn’t necessarily say this needs to happen in season 4, but the sympathy extended to characters like Hawk, Robby, Johnny, Daniel, etc. in the writing needs to be extended to her as well. And for that to happen she needs to connect with someone other than Kreese.

Also, of course, Tory and Robby are going to be Sadness Bros next season, pretty sure they have horror stories to tell each other while they bond - I’m hoping this doesn’t become a romantic relationship, but it’s a show that likes its romantic relationships, so we’ll see. Fingers crossed. (also if Tory should be dating anyone it’s Aisha, right????) Point is, that’ll obviously give her more grounding with another main that isn’t I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

I think this is where the initial elements of those aforementioned depths can be explored more thoroughly. Robby wouldn’t just be willing to listen - he’d be the first character to really Get It. He’ll probably be the first person to understand her and so the first protagonist we’ll get to really relate to her through (again, to me Miguel doesn’t count, he didn’t know her at all). 

Anyway I want for Sam and Tory to become the ultimate remixed version of Daniel and Johnny, in that they fully cannot stand each other for X amount of the runtime, only to find common ground at the last moment and perchance do some gay, friendly karate matching. 

(Also Tory’s bi, right? Yeah, Tory’s bi. I see your flannel!)

Tory has the potential to be a great slow-burn character, so I’m excited!

#tory nichols #sam larusso #john kreese #aisha robinson #robby keene #cobra kai #meta #i just think her being so apart from other characters has the potential to really elevate her #on some level the majority of the women and girls on this show are really hindered by their *status* as wife/mother/daughter/gf #to the two main mains - tory doesn't have ANY of that which is cool and also makes her the only female lead not to #I really think/hope that'll pay off now that the more-establishing seasons have happened #my three things about this show that I'd love to see...: more girls/women doing stuff independently of their relationships to guys #esp those relationships with johnny and daniel #2. queers. not just two queers but like. more than that. you're teaching a bunch of teenagers who're outsiders #there*s more than one couple's worth of queers in this set-up #3. perchance... a trans person? look I'm not holding my breath... I'd just think it was neat... #my meta #cobra kai meta

[baldwinboy5ive]

My absolute aspirational, dream, reach scenario for Hawk in season 4 is not happening BUT that doesn’t seem to be stopping me from TALKING ABOUT IT A LOT ANYWAY! let’s gooooooooo

Warning: this is going to be a long walk to get to my point, I sure wasn’t kidding when I said “a lot.” SO much rambling about little bird over here. so much.

I would love to see Julie-san back, period, and I started to ramble to anyone who would listen about that, but then after I rewatched the episode where Miyagi-Do got trashed, I actually realized a few concrete reasons why I feel she’d be such a great addition to the show, if only for an episode or two! 

My heart was just so broken for Daniel-san when he saw what happened to the dojo. He doesn’t care about things, he only cared so much about the Medal of Honor and the car being graffitied because those things were from Mr. Miyagi, obviously. And that appeared to totally break him, and it just made me feel so sad because in that moment he seemed so alone. I don’t think anybody had the same kind of relationship with him that Daniel did, besides Julie-san. Of course, he was like a grandfather to Sam, and he knew the whole rest of Daniel’s family, but still that isn’t quite the same. I’m sure that all of Daniel’s family just loved him so much, because how could anyone not, but the father-son relationship Daniel had with him was so special and no one else in his family had that kind of relationship with him. But someone else did. 

I really wanted Julie-san to come and maybe bond with Daniel over how much they both loved Mr. Miyagi so much as a teacher and father figure after they had both lost their fathers - or in Julie’s case, both her parents. 

And then I realized that she would be so amazing as a mentor too. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched to think she comes to LA to check out all this karate drama she’s hearing about if it involves a dojo called “Miyagi-Do” - she has a huge connection to Mr. Miyagi, so maybe she wants to see what’s going on with her old mentor’s other student. 

It’d be kind of funny if Julie could share some stories with Daniel from her perspective of when she pissed off Mr. Miyagi so much, haha. In the same episode that Miyagi-Do got vandalized (this one episode seriously inspired so many thoughts in me), Daniel’s patience was wearing thin with Demetri. Daniel wants to emulate Mr. Miyagi so bad but what Daniel might not have realized is that once, even Mr. Miyagi came this close to losing it hahah. I didn’t even know he could get that mad, hahahaha.  When Julie-san was like “You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” and Mr. Miyagi was just like... “........” ahahaha oh man. It’s just... it would be so nice for Daniel to hear from her about all this, like reading the letters Mr. Miyagi had once written. 

Now, in addition to ALL of that... because I assume that Daniel would have heard and known of her from Mr. Miyagi, I do feel like it’d be amazing if, after meeting her and seeing how great she turned out, he said to her, “I know that you had to deal with a lot of anger when you were younger, and I was wondering if you might be willing to help me out with something about that. See, there’s this Hawk...” 

“I love hawks.” 

“not like that” and I swear to God this isn’t just that dumb hawk joke that I was dying to make, though, I promise ahahaha. 

I mean there definitely is room there for that joke but Hawk and Julie would fit together so well. Even if the source of their anger was very different, she still could relate to him because she had no way of channeling her anger until Mr. Miyagi came along and guided her, and she just found so much peace after.

And I see such a parallel to when she became more self-assured and had that “If I’m ever going to respect myself, I have to do this” moment - it’s clear that Hawk has VERY little respect for himself. There is a lot of denial and self-loathing going on with this poor guy and he needs to learn how to get past that and learn to love himself. 

I think the movie doesn’t go into it a whole lot but Julie definitely seemed to deal with that self-loathing a bit too with like, the expectation that her grandma would tell her “Oh you messed up, you made another mistake, you screwed up.” 

Hawk still has no one to help him do these things - yeah, he changed sides at the very last minute - dude had us in the 4th quarter with 5 seconds left on the clock and we got ball - but that of course in no way means all of his other anger issues are resolved, right? He needs someone. 

I actually got kind of infuriated at Amanda saying that if Robby doesn't want to come back, "You're going to have to let him go," like it's one of those "If you love something let it go" type of situations, and thank GOD Daniel pushed back on it! Thank God he did, and said "I can't just let him go," and then he said, "He has no one." Man, that part was gut-wrenching. I absolutely love Robby, I really do, but I'm actually less worried for him now. He does have someone now - I think Johnny really is going to try for Robby, and even if he does massively fuck up - which he might, or he might not - I think Daniel will still be there for Robby because he cares about him so much. Robby will, hopefully, be all right. But Hawk I truly do worry about, and Hawk I really do think actually does have no one right now. Except for Demetri, who I still hope after all this will be willing to throw down for him, but he’s his best friend, not a sensei or mentor. 

I hate so much how Johnny treats Hawk and hate how he's failed him, like in multiple ways, and legitimately get mad about it sometimes, hahaha - I will NEVER get over how harshly he treated Hawk and Miguel and made them clean mats, and then ONLY MIGUEL got that honest heart-to-heart after. And this was in response to the both of them calmly asking Johnny about something instead of being accusatory, angry, or anything really, they were simply trying to have a talk with him, and then he just told them to GTFO. (Man, my HEART hurts at the way Hawk still bows to his sensei even then, before he GTFOs.) But anyway - what I'm getting at here is, it really does seem to me that Johnny just does not like even interacting with Hawk. Every single time he interacts with him, save for the one time that he gave him his new name, it's always just so hostile. It's probably at least partially due to Hawk reminding him so much of his younger self, and Johnny likely does not want to deal with or face that self-reflection at all. So to me it feels like a really tall order to ask Johnny to have any sort of real talk with this one particular student who needs him so much. And if he were to even try - would it even be productive, or would it just be more yelling? 

It makes me think of how, in the beginning of The Next Karate Kid, when Mr. Miyagi sends Julie's grandma off to take a break, it's really to give Julie and her grandma some forced time apart. Everyone knew it was needed, it just couldn't happen until Mr. Miyagi could take care of Julie. Julie and her grandma were both dealing with too much - Julie lost her parents, Julie's grandma lost her child - and all they could ever do is get angry with each other. "Talking doesn't seem to help. It just makes things worse," Julie's grandma said.

And right before they part ways, Julie tearfully says to her grandma, "I've tried sometimes to just talk to you, and not get angry, but everything gets messed up and I don't know why." God, that just got to me so much. She's just a kid, and she had this moment of actually trying, and it's not her fault that she doesn't know how to fix things, and it’s okay that she doesn’t know why! Then her grandma admitted her own shortcoming by saying "Things get messed up for me, too." It was a good moment between them.

Hawk is still a good kid, I'm never going to not believe that, probably, hahaha. He was going to step up and confess to vandalizing the Miyagi-Do dojo until Kreese stopped him. (Speaking of that, Johnny had basically given all these students permission to view Kreese as a sensei just as much as they do him - and Kreese hadn't given any of them any reason yet to think he was actually Bad News. Maybe Hawk even thought that Kreese would talk to Johnny first and soften the blow, when he said he would "handle it." But, well - we saw how he handled it!!!)  So, I do not put it past him to be able to admit at least a little bit of fault, or admit to feeling lost, or reaching out for some kind of help. I don't see him doing it in any dramatic fashion or anything like that, or being sorrowfully apologetic and the like, but just... you know, the way Julie said it, I could see him doing something like that. But unfortunately for him, I don't know who is there to hear that from him and then give him that help.

I really don't see Johnny ever owning up to how his negligence and hostility and favoritism contributed to how violent Hawk became... which is sad, cause even just that one small admission of "Things get messed up for me, too" was probably the first step in repairing the damage between Julie and her grandma (even if we don't get to see them afterwards). And they likely would not have been able to get there, or they would have had a lot more trouble getting there, if not for Mr. Miyagi intervening. Julie needed to hear that.

Maybe Hawk just needs someone external to come and shake things up a little bit and be a mentor, someone who isn't so tied up in this karate soap opera already. I think Daniel genuinely does want to help these kids, but I don't know if I really see him having that much sympathy for Hawk, either, and I don't know if he would understand the depths of his anger. Sure, Daniel was absolutely bullied back when he was younger, and I'm not downplaying that at all, but it wasn't to the degree that Eli went through, which resulted in a shit ton more anger than it ever did in Daniel. And then, of course, Daniel had Mr. Miyagi step in early enough to make sure Daniel's anger and need for revenge never got so out of hand. Johnny's simply not going to be able to be that person for Hawk, at least not now. But maybe, maybe one day he could get there if someone came along to jump-start it, the way Ali had to come in and knock his head loose a little about his rivalry with Daniel, and I'd really love for that to be Julie-san. 

there’s definitely also room for several hawk jokes in there somewhere too

#cobra kai hawk #eli moskowitz #the next karate kid #julie pierce #cobra Kai

[coleyholts]

Here is the first time I had ever attempted a sphere.  Let’s all say “hiiii, little sphere,” as he feels a little self-conscious due to his lumps. 

When healing from a traumatic event, all of the professionals say to get back to “normal.”   

Trigger Warning: flashbacks, traumatic child injury.

Let’s talk about what that means. All humans have the same basic needs: food, water, shelter.  Those are the basic things we need to survive; the things we need to merely keep our hearts beating. Humans are intelligent creatures.  This fact comes with its share of additional work on our parts, as it truly adds to our list of boxes to check on the reg.  We need love, companionship, choices, a way to make money, the ability to properly execute tasks, affirmation, the feeling of being understood... the list goes on.

So here’s why I am bringing this up.  As we have already established, I am struggling with PTSD-and just to set the record straight as we dive into my sadness, I want you all that care about me to know that I am NOT a self-harm risk. I am medicated, in therapy and under the supervision of the most talented medical professionals I’ve ever met. I am able to trust my doctors and therapist and I feel so fortunate for that.

.I went back to work on July 19, 2021.  This was only 37 days since my sweet baby’s accident.  Childcare is provided solely by my mother who is an RN, so the idea of her getting hurt was not what was bothering me as I walked into work that day.  I was able to chat with Daniel that morning before he left, and I had purposely set myself up to have a great day.  I got myself an iced coffee and took some deep breaths.  I played my favorite music on the ride into town.

I clocked in at 10 am. I was so excited to see everyone.  Staying home the previous month really got lonely sometimes, and that’s when the pain was the freshest.  I get hugs, kind questions, and compassion. Being that I've had the same coworkers for years makes them feel like family and I appreciate that. They checked on me while I was gone, and a few visited.  I was so happy for the first half hour of greetings, then I sat down to work.

I sat and I talked about things casually, and I was okay as we weren’t discussing the super heavy moments I have shared with you all yet.  But when the conversation stopped, I had a rush of feelings and imagery.  I have been referring to these episodes as flashbacks, since I don’t really know what else to call them.

You know when there are certain smells, songs, places, photos and little reminders that brings you to a memory?  Have you ever experienced this in such detail that you feel like you are physically feeling, hearing, smelling and seeing everything in that exact moment?  It’s like when you smell your grandmother’s perfume and you are instantly transported to sitting next to her on the church pew and pushing your face into her scratchy, sequined blouse because you were fighting to stay awake during Mass.  It’s when you see a kid riding a bike so similar to the one you had, you are brought to your childhood neighborhood block where you are riding said bike.  But with all of the sensory going on, you really feel it-the pain and the fear-when you make a turn to fast and skin your knee.

This is what is happening to me-but presently I’m at the point where I don’t need something to trigger me to have an episode.

I am sitting at work.  I am looking at my list of projects.  I check my accounts and reset my passwords since they had expired over the month I was out, and when I was about to get down to it, I wasn’t there anymore. 

GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF MY “FLASHBACKS”: I was sitting in the Emergency Room with my baby in my arms, limp and eyes rolling as they poked her over and over again to find a vein that still had blood in it. They couldn’t and I screamed and cried. They perfectly executed every single stick, but there was no blood in any of her limbs.  They tell me they are going to have to put in a line using a power drill into my 8 month old’s shins.  She had no medication in her to keep her conscious, supply her with fluids, give her a transfusion, or to relieve pain.  I begged them to administer anything they could through injection or nasally.  

Hard to read? Worse to live it.

My post-accident mind takes me to this awful place while the world around me just keeps moving.  The anxiety, pain, guilt, confusion and profound sorrow that you are suddenly feeling at 100% are completely invisible to those around you.

So, I cried and cried.  I said. “I’m not ready to be here,” as I was comforted by my people.  I excused myself to the restroom and washed my face.  I took deep breaths and asked mom for a picture of my baby.  She was sleeping so perfectly, like a little doll.  After a short break, I went back to my computer and got to work. When it was time to clock out, I had no recollection of any of my projects.  All I remembered was my episode.

Getting back to normal is hard.

I think going back to work (three days/week) was the right move for me in my recovery journey.  It hurt so much, but before you say you can’t, give it a shot and see if the shitty times pass.

I truly believe that working, alone time, making art, cooking and cleaning, raising my baby, and spending time with my husband are my actual personal needs. After that realization, I have grown so much.  In two weeks, I can leave my baby without crying, provide solid feedback in conversations at home and at work, get my house clean, and I’m learning to follow my bliss.  That’s back to normal, the healthiest healing environment.

Taking these steps are so hard, but for the first time, I am really feeling the benefits and acceleration in my healing process.

[darkpoisonouslove]

I think Zelena's redemption was odd in Once upon a time. It happened in a believable way but because I binged it it seemed like she got a lot of hate for her crimes in pretty much every episode and constantly compared to a redeemed regina..which considering her being jealous of her sister and considering herself not good enough must have been a constant slap in the face when zelena was actually trying to change. She got her happy ending but I kinda think regina was too hard on her sometimes.

Oh, good. For a moment I was scared that this would be about her not deserving the redemption she god which is a constant issue I have with this fandom and something that the show does itself. To me a redemption arc is not about earning the forgiveness of others or making up for your mistakes because you can’t. First, forgiveness is for the person that gives it, not for the person that receives it. It could be about the receiver as well if they feel like they need it but you do not need forgiveness to redeem yourself. And you cannot fix any past hurt that you have caused. Even if you apologize for it a million times, it will not go away. The person would have still lived through the pain that you have caused them. The best apology is to be a better person so that you can give them a better future because you can never change the past. That’s what a redemption should be based on - a promise for the future that you keep even when the person you have made it to does not believe that you will keep it. You keep it for yourself first and foremost and then for others. So in that regard, you don’t need to be forgiven in order to become a better person. And sometimes it means that you have to forge on forward even when people don’t want to let you do that and keep slapping you in the face with the past. Which is exactly what Zelena was facing there but she did what was good for her and for her daughter and didn’t let that deter her.

That said, I do believe that she got a lot of shit from Regina specifically that was really annoying and hypocritical. Especially since Regina herself admitted that she was much worse than Zelena could have ever hoped to be. And that is true. Regina not only cast the Dark Curse but also killed entire villages of people just because. Zelena was never that level of evil. Her deeds were usually focused on people that she knew and had beef with for some reason or another (from what we have seen at the very least even if it was implied that the entire land of Oz feared her). Yet, her crimes seem to hit harder because of how personal they are against the people that she attacks. And because her actions are focused against the mains of the show, they get depicted in their full impact unlike with Regina who got a highlighted scene of murdering someone (the other girl Rumple was teaching magic in 2x05 or the groom in 4x20) but a lot of the times that wasn’t given the gravitas it needed. Even the curse was not shown to hit fully until 2x01 when the chaos from it breaking made the impact of it more tangible. Her own redemption sidelines the fact of how much she took from Snow and Emma and David in the later seasons and because they forgive her unlike the people that Zelena has to face (Rumple and in season 6 Regina who is basically pulling her blame-redirection bullshit from when Daniel died once again even though it wasn’t Zelena’s fault Robin was killed). Regina is definitely too harsh on Zelena sometimes because she is too wrapped up in losing Robin and puts that over the family she has left. Absolutely infuriating but it happens, unfortunately. The hypocrisy is unreal and it really got on my nerves but there is nothing you can do about it. The writers didn’t know what else to do with the two of them so we got this bullshit instead.

#once upon a time #ouat #zelena #regina mills #ask #supersonichero1

[world-of-ryan]

When COVID-19 shut down production last March, it especially hit hard for NBC’s New Amsterdam. The show not only films at several real-life hospitals, including Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan, Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn and Metropolitan Hospital in Harlem, but it also had a pandemic storyline planned. Of course, not the coronavirus specifically.

“There was so much fear and anxiety at that time around the pandemic, we didn’t want to air an episode where people were getting sick left and right and further scare people,” says series star Ryan Eggold, who plays medical director Dr. Max Goodwin, in this exclusive interview.

But New Amsterdam will touch on the COVID-19 pandemic in its Season 3 premiere. It will feature a very powerful montage showing the doctors and nurses at work trying to save lives, working until they are exhausted, showing people getting vaccinated, and then moving into post-pandemic stories.

“Working on a hospital show, post-pandemic, our first responsibility is to tell the stories of the nurses and doctors who have worked so tirelessly to try to keep people safe and healthy,” Eggold continues. “Peter Horton directed that episode. And I think his and [executive producer] David [Schulner]’s intention was to honor the healthcare workers and what they’ve been through and start in that place of, this has been Ground Zero of fighting the pandemic, and it has taken its toll on everybody.”

From there, the story continues with Dr. Vijay Kapour’s (Anupam Kher) life hanging in the balance due to COVID, Dr. Helen Sharpe (Freema Agyeman) unable to touch people as a result of lingering anxieties, Dr. Iggy Frome (Tyler Labine) facing his eating disorder/body issues and Dr. Lauren Bloom (Janet Montgomery) unable to give up her patients to their special-care physicians.

“It’s kind of like that wartime mentality with soldiers coming back and having trouble adjusting to civilian life,” Eggold says. “These doctors were so overwhelmed with patients, not enough beds and trying to keep up. What are the ramifications on their personal life and their psyche? And how do they get back to the new normal?”

Also, viewers will get a long-awaited moment between Max and Helen. Expect some resolution regarding their feelings for each other, despite the fact that Helen has moved on with new head trauma surgeon Dr. Cassian Shin (Daniel Dae Kim).

“I will say that I think Max and Helen have a unique relationship that they are forced to confront this season and figure out what it means for better or for worse, and finally name what has been unspoken for a while,” Eggold adds.

For more scoop on season 3 of New Amsterdam, read more of the interview with Eggold.

How did the New Amsterdam pandemic episode compare to what actually happened?

I haven’t seen that episode because it didn’t air, which is usually how I see them, so I would be curious to know myself. It’s pretty wild. It’s happened to the writers a few times where they’ve written something and then it happens later. But nobody could have predicted COVID was going to happen.

I saw the first two episodes and it feels like a sadder show this year. Will that continue?

No. There’s a lot of humor. I was saying to David, “Is Max getting too broad?” There has been a lot of humor on the show lately, which is nice. I think it’s important to find humor and joy amid a pandemic because we have to remind ourselves what we’re fighting for. The intention is not to make it super heavy and sad, but certainly in the beginning to discuss it; it is a heavy, overwhelming, larger-than-life situation that we’ve all been through.

Max also seems to have lost his “How can I help?” attitude–which is what inspired him to take the job and kept him going when he lost his wife. Will he get that back?

Yeah. I think it’s evolved from how can I help, or how can I fix the system and make it better, to how do we begin again? And how do we build from the ground up because we weren’t prepared for this and it changed a lot of things. I think his perspective has widened in a good way and he will see things differently this season.

What will be the new challenges for Max this season?

One thing is he’s a single dad who is trying to get his hospital through this pandemic. And he has left his daughter Luna with [late wife] Georgia’s parents in an effort to protect her and keep her safe as he is going to the hospital every day. But I think there’s a lot of guilt like, “Am I doing the right thing? Am I being a bad father by not being there? Am I neglecting her?” So, that’s something that he wrestles with.

Then the question of romance. Is there a partner for him to find and is he ready to start a relationship with someone after losing his wife? In the back of his mind, I think it’s something he wants, not only for himself but for his daughter.

(Photo by: Virginia Sherwood/NBC)

There’s a moment where Max realizes that some of his great, crazy ideas aren’t always the right way to do things. Is he growing?

Absolutely. He’s a character who’s full of ambition to change things and to make things better. And he’s very headstrong and optimistic. He’s certainly overly idealistic about how to make those changes happen. The show is about finding out the reality of how that change happens. You have these lofty ideas of, “I want to make everything better, I want to do X, Y and Z,” and you can’t do that overnight, so what does it look like on a daily basis? How does change occur on a systemic level, which is certainly bigger than the individual?

To your point about admitting fault, I think he’s learning that he can’t do this on his own and he can’t change the world overnight and that you need other people. You can’t be a one-man band, so I think he’s going through a lot of change and evolving a lot.

What was it like filming in the hospital in March 2020?

Our last day of filming we were at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, and it was weird. People were starting to get nervous, “Should we be filming in a hospital?” We didn’t know a lot about it. Is this real? Is this really growing the way people say it’s going to grow? And very quickly, the world changed overnight.

It’s the right decision not to film in the hospital right now, not for our show, but to get out of the way of the hospitals and to let them function to the best of their capacity when there are so many serious things that need to be addressed. And, then for the show, to keep everybody safe, of course. But I hope we can get back to that once this pandemic is behind us because there’s always this wonderful authenticity to be found when we can shoot in those places because you are near the reality of healthcare so it helps you reflect that story.

Did it take New Amsterdam longer to come back because you had to change your filming locations?

We had to build a lot of sets. We had to build a lot of the hospital locations that we use, and we had to add more sets and locations we could film in. Then everybody was just making sure it was safe and making sure we had the practices and protocols in place to do our job, be safe and not put anybody at risk. To everyone’s credit, it feels really safe. We’re tested every day and we have a lot of protocols in place that keep the set running efficiently and safely. It’s a good place to be.

How did you handle the pandemic?

I look back and that was so much time that we had. I feel like I should have written a novel, climbed a mountain, or something. But, no, I slowly went crazy and did all the usual, like slept. I did do a fair amount of writing. I wrote a screenplay, trying to put my brain to work a little bit. I was in denial like, “This will only last a month of weird whatever.” Then a month goes by and you’re like, “I guess it’s still going.” Seven months go by and it was crazy. It was nice to slow down and catch up with family and unplug for a minute. I wish it had been under better circumstances and people’s lives weren’t at risk, but, yeah, there were some positives.

#new amsterdam #ryan eggold #season 3 #press release