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liveontelevision · 2 months

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Okay, this started as a rant about Lucifer lore and turned into an argumentative essay on why Lucifer is a bottom. My b.

18+ Smut ahead, lots of angst

•••

Here's the thing about Lucifer. He was an awesome dreamer, fell in love with Lillith, and was banished to Hell. Literally forced to see what the gift of good will can do at its worse. Unless he's made some personal contact with a sinner to get like updates about what the gift of good will did right, he had to be stuck in a depression for centuries, at least until Charlie was born. And while that would've definitely given him a new passion, he'll never feel confident in dreaming again.

With how much he dislikes sinners and what they represent, i wonder if there had to be some strain on their relationship when it came to Lillith taking control? They never really talk about if they had a fallout or if she just disappeared, but i dont think they really got divorced either.

When Lucifer looks at that family picture and winces, does he feel bad about not contacting charlie? About something he did to make lillith leave? Or maybe he feels bad about being upset at lillith for leaving in the first place? There's so much to umpack there i live for the lore.

Love Interests:

But when that comes to potential love interests in the future, Lucifer hasnt had to court anyone before like ever. Not in the circumstances that they live in a big city like Hell. So when he finally ends up catching feelings, he has no idea. People around the hotel literally need to pick up on context clues for him and have an intervention to tell him he's in love again.

Even if he hasnt seen lillith in 7 years, their relationship had to be a drastic change compared to new love. I think that his love interest would also pick it up before he does, and you would let him work at his own pace. Fuck, it is so important that he goes through this process at his own pace.

With so much strain on his past relationships with loved ones, he fully gaslights himself into thinking he doesnt deserves and isnt allowed to feel affection anymore. I hate making characters i love suffer. But i feel like in his state of mind he'd go through depressive episodes and panic attacks, maybe some night terrors. Theyed be about his past and his subconscious would essentially tell him he has feelings again, and he shouldn't act them in case he scares you away and abandons you, like heaven. Or drives you away like lillith. Or purposely blocks you out like charlie. Mans is struggling i swear. He needs some comfort.

After finally coming to terms, hes a nervous wreck about every decision he makes. He'll constantly stare in the mirror in the mornings, making sure he looks his best, would plan mental scripts before even having a conversation with you, and would become a bumbling mess just trying to make jokes out of the situation, some base level actions, like how we saw in the show. He'll manage to finally ask you out, but all he really knows how to do is profess an undying love (i feel like his confession to lillith was hella dramatic) so it was a little awkward, but still cute. And of course you said yes.

So let's say its been 5+ years since he moved into the hotel, met you and finally managed to confess his feelings. When it comes to the actual relationship? You give him reassurance and support him through his mental episodes, and laugh at his jokes and praise him for everything he does. He has such intense imposture syndrome though, that even other demons have to reassure that theres no way you dont love him with all your being. Because it is literally obvious to everyone but him.

He's pretty good at doing the romantic fluff stuff in public, he loves to make a big show out of treating you like royalty and even trying to embarrass you when you become close enough. He's always more charasmatic in public, it seems easier than doing that alone.

Not in a negative way, but Lucifer is so never to be alone with you. You take the lead a bit more in those scenarios, suggesting ideas like movies or just coming up with small talk yourself. He needs someone who'll be patient with him. Being alive for millions of years AND being left or shamed by all your loved ones during that time is literally the definition of Truama.

Of course he's been bottling all that shit up, he has no one to confide with. There's no one who's been alive and witnessed it all the way he has. So bless you for loving and caring for him even without understanding all hes been through.

You'll have some rough patches, where this emotional side locks him away from you and everyone else. It might be a few days before you see him. He'll lock himself in his office, pumping out ducks by the dozen just to keep himself from sleeping, because he's scared he'll have night terrors if he feels asleep. He's in a constant loop;

"what if i fucked up?"

"what if i try to talk about it and then they realize how bad i fucked up?"

"what if that's enough of a reason for them to leave me?"

"what if i scare them away?"

"what if that fucks this up?"

"what if i fucked up.. Again..?"

After he leaves his office, youre excited to see him out and about, but you cant make a big deal out of it. You have to speak to him calmly, make sure he's physically okay before talking to him about his thought process. It might take awhile, but he'll eventually trust you enough to open up. And of course it'll never be bad enough for you to leave him, he's just struggling.

Physical Contact:

It takes him an even longer time to become physical with you. He hasnt been intimate for over a decade at this point, but as soon as he becomes comfortable with little affections like hand holding, cuddling, wrapping his arms around your waist, and kissing? Hoo boy, he melts after your first kiss. It couldve been even a small peck and he would still become a nervous wreck just trying to ask for more.

He'll ask for physical touch more than provide it at first. You'll give him a quick kiss and he'll look up at you super eager just like, "another?" He'll grow into tastful pda's, linking arms, quick hugs and smooches, holding hands all that.

He becomes putty in your hand when you're alone though. You'll nudge him to lean against your shoulder or even lay his head in your lap while youre lounging or watching movies. He becomes so relaxed in your presence, that you'll want to suddenly peck him just to see his suddenly flustered reaction.

You'd give him massages that he would always be hesistant over. He was always a little nervous that he wasnt giving enough to you, but you were quick to assure him that wasnt the case. You'd straddle his hips while giving him a slowww massage. It starts with light touches, tracing your fingers over his shoulder blades and spine. You'd trace your fingers over his chest when you would cuddle too, depending on the position. Or stroke his back sweetly. It was enough of a distraction to keep his mind occupied, away from any spiraling thoughts he might be having.

He purrs. Convince me that he doesnt purr. (You cant)

Being secluded for so long probably means that he doesnt fly as much as he used to. It was probably a passion of his, and he was especially delighted to share it with lillith and charlie.

So during those 7 years he barely flew, he also didnt take care of his wings. I feel like theyre something to be summoned, so they arent constantly tucked into his back. You'd basically scold him sometimes to just let you clean his wings.

You'd do it in like a spring-type bathhouse that Lucifer would have in his castle somehow. It was one of the first intimate moments he's experienced in years, so he was generally going insane. Feeling your hands and a little comb rake through the feathers on his giant wings? You'd have to tap his shoulder sometimes to keep him from falling asleep to the relaxation alone. After the first time, the water you used was pretty dirty and he had a lot of loose feathets that were combed out. Damn, he needed this.

Intimacy:

After awhile, you sit down and would have a discussion about being intimate in bed. Lucifer would be absolutely nervous about overstepping by asking this, (even though you've been together for about a year at this point). He would use his mental scripts and basically practice what he wanted to say.

It would mainly be him saying he wants to do this because he loves you and youve done so much for him that he wants to give back to you in this way. It would consist of him saying its okay if you dont want to, or if you ever want to stop to just say so. But of course you want to, how could you not?

It would start slow, he actually tries taking the lead in this specific situation. He would kiss you first, his lips trembling at the thought that this is actually happening. Feeling his nerves, you'd cup his face and stroke his cheeks with your thumbs lightly. That will help him ease up enough to start letting the passion take over more.

He'd become more confident in slipping his tongue into your mouth and placing his hands on your hips to pull you closer to him. Lucifer would get lost in the moment, pulling you to straddle his lap as he kissed and licked and bit his way across both your shoulders and down to the softeness of your breast. After leaning back to look at the damage his eyes would become increasingly wide, looking up at you with a flustered expression. Seeing you losing it as much as he was, gave him enough courage to keep up at it.

He would almost hesistantly take a hold of your breasts and would massage them softly, running his thumbs across your nipples and becoming absolutely delighted at the reaction you gave. The adrenaline from the pleasure would make you start grinding against his lap, which would make lucifer's hands on your hips pull away for a moment and make his breath stutter. Lucifer would look you up and down as if he didnt know what to do next, studying your body with darting eyes. You'd press a small kiss on his forehead before guiding his hands back onto your hips with yours, keeping your eyes on him the entire time.

"Are you okay, Luci?" He would gulp before nodding his head and turning ridiculously red across his face, maybe from the idea of what was to come, maybe just from your voice alone. You'd keep your hands ontop of his at your hips as you'd keep moving, letting out breathy moans. He would be holding his breath without realizing, an absolute nervous wreck just from the view.

He would already be hard just from the previous make out session, so this would cause him to lean his back against the bed, his strength giving out. You'd keep up at it, feeling his hips jolt up to meet yours at times.

He was a sweaty, twitching mess in front of you and you hated to admit how much that excited you.

His scripted plan was immediately forgotten, but he was quick to remember that he wanted to please you.

He'd snap out of his state of intense pleasure, to carefully switch positions, him looking over you with your back against the bed.

You both discuss it, of course, attempting to set boundaries before hand. Even just the tender discussion would get him riled up. So he'd lean foward and kiss you again, showing off his forked tongue before peppering kisses down your entire body, until he was close enough to let his hot breath heat up your folds.

You'd feel his nervous breath on you before delving in. He would be hesistant of course, but would be quick to get used to your entrance after running his tongue across your entirety multiple times. Lucifer loves providing pleasure this way, so his brain immediately knew what to do once the nerves past. He was quick to take a tight hold onto your thighs to keep you in place as he entered you with his demonic lengthy tongue. He would look up at you as he sort of aimlessly dug around at first, waiting for a reaction. Once he'd see you dip your head back with a muffled moan, he would close his eyes to focus all his attention to that one spot. He'd reach his thumb around to circle and massage your clit that he would find far too quickly. You'd arch your back and try to get more friction against his tongue, but it's easy to forget that he is quite literally the strongest being in Hell. You weren't going anywhere.

He'd love feeling your hands in his hair and would absolutely lose it feeling you pull hard when he'd hit just the right spot. As soon as he set a steady thythm and was hearing your voice become more unhinged, he'd speed up to an extent that you didn't realize was possible after going for so long. You discussed cumming before and he made it very clear that he was okay with you finishing on his face. Fuck, he wanted it. You still warned him, moaning out his name to get his attention, "I-I'm almost there- K-Keep doing that.. like that..! Luci-" you'd almost direct him though the whole process, but were quick to become a moaning mess unable to communicate with words. You'd reach your limit and he would let you buck up into his face this time, loosening his grip on your thighs. He'd pull away after licking you clean, sending overstimulated pleasure across your entire body, with a line of your juices following his tongue as he lifted his head. He would pant with his tongue still sticking out of his mouth, and even through hazy eyes you loved seeing his demonic tongue and thinking about how it just drove you to climax.

Things would switch up again, and you'd sit him against the back of the bedframe. you'd have another quick discussion before seating yourself slowly on his length, which had been throbbing for any contact since the night started. The first few times, he'd do his best not to cum immediately. He hadn't been touched like this in a while, after all. You'd only begin to move once you made sure he was okay since his struggle was written all over his face.

The moment you began to keep a steady space, he would jut his hips upwards, becoming needy to feel this sensation he hadn't felt in over a decade. The first time didn't last long. It was sweet, and he would constantly moan out your name and babble on about how much he loves you. The entire time, you'd be praising him through every move until he was going too fast for you to get a sentence out.

He'd cum inside of you, another previously discussed topic. You essentially had to beg to convince him it was okay. You'd collapse onto his chest, a position he didnt see often. While the two of you always cuddled, you were so focused on making sure he was comfortable, Lucifer realized you didnt often get the chance to just relax on top of him. So after realizing that? Aftercare was amazing.

He'd let you sit with him inside you for a while, before pulling you off and immediately cleaning you up. Some nights, when he felt especially dominant, he would lap up his own cum from your incredibly sensitive cunt. He would swallow some of it, but was mainly pushing anything that dripped out back into your entrance.

After cleaning you up, he would wiggle his way back underneath you and pull you onto his chest, enjoying taking care of you the way you took care of him.

After the first night, lucifer would be much more confident. He'd have that healthy glow, but would be more assertive during meetings, more communicative and wouldnt shut others out as often. It really helped him realize how much you gave to him, and he was determined to give all that and more back to you.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin hotel smut #lucifer hazbin #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar x you #lucifer x reader smut #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer

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sturniologals · 3 months

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Car ride-M.S

Reader x Matt

-; warnings Smut (obvi), Praise kink, Dom!Matt, Cursing.

1.8k Words

My childhood best friend matt is standing outside of his house waiting on his date to pick him up and I can’t help but to wish that he would just walk across the street and confess his love for me and it would be us going out.

A black range rover pulls to the sidewalk, the street lamp on his sidewalk corner is the only light illuminating his features-and my god does he look good. I can feel my arousal growing as i shift on my bay window seat to try and get some friction but it does nothing.

Suddenly, the car is pulling away and matt is standing there looking annoyed, not sad- but bothered. I watch him start to walk up to his door but he stops at his porch steps and rubs his hands over his face in a stressful motion.

His cargo pants are hanging low on his waist and when his hands go up, his shirt strides up a bit revealing the bottom of his stomach. His V- line is perfectly carved and his skin looks oh so soft.

After a second of him seemingly stressing over something- he starts to walk over to my house.

This is an almost daily occurrence for us since the 3rd grade when i moved into this house and i started at the same elementary school as him but still- I can’t help but to feel the pit in my stomach anytime he comes over. My parents are gone out on their weekly date night so i’m home alone. The thoughts of what he could do to me race through my mind but they quickly shut off when i hear the doorbell and I quickly jog down the stairs, stopping in the hallway to check in the mirror, my freshly applied cherry lipgloss shining on my plump lips, my hair tied back in a low ponytail.

I take a moment to think about how i’m wearing just sweats and a t shirt but remember- it’s just matt. No need to stress, he’s seen me worse than this before.

I open up the door and matt is standing at my doorstep, anxiously cracking his knuckles. When i open the door wide enough for him to come in- he quickly does so. He doesn’t say anything and just starts to jog up my stairs, headed straight on the path to my bedroom that he’s came to know so well over the last 8 years.

“Matthew!” I shout trying to catch up with him.

I make it to my room, where he’s already sitting on my bed, his back against the headboard. He’s already discarded his sneakers onto the floor and is now draping one of my fuzzy blankets over his legs.

“Cmere y/n” he says as he throws an arm up for me to cradle into. this isnt anything weird for us. we’ve always been this close but in the last year, matts started to look different. better. His hair grew out and he started to dress better. He hit puberty which came with him growing to a 5 foot, 11 inches. compared to my 5 foot, 2 inches.

I don’t question him and i just crawl into my bed next to him and rest my head on his chest as his arm falls down and starts to rub up and down my arm. After a moment or so of silence, I start to debate on whether to ask what happened with his date.

“Matt?” i say, slightly tilting my chin up so i can see his face.

“Yeah y/n?” he says looking down at me.

“What happened with your date?” i say after finally working up the courage.

“Uhm-“ he shifts his body uncomfortably but continues to speak. “Mackie thought it was just a friend thing, i guess. so when she showed up and she had a bunch of friends with her, I got kind of annoyed and just wasn’t feeling it anymore.” He says in an unbothered tone.

“Wasn’t you clear on the fact that you liked her?” i say in a quiet voice.

“Woah not a fact. I didn’t like her, i was just slightly attracted to her and i just needed to-“ He stops talking and clears his throat. I can feel my cheeks go red as my mind understands what he’s trying to say and I feel a bulge grow beside my leg. i decide this is my chance to tease him.

“Ma-“ i start to sit up but he shoots up quickly “wanna go get food?” he says quickly standing up and putting his sneakers on. I am kinda hungry.

“Uhm yeah sure” I say with an awkward smile as i grab a blue hoodie out of my closet to throw on over my black t shirt.

“Ready?” he says, standing in my doorway. I nod and we go downstairs, I grab my car keys off the table and we both walk out the door.

“You drive” I say, tossing him the keys over the roof of my dark purple jeep Cherokee. He smiles and slides into the drivers seat.

I get into the passenger side and he immediately reaches over to buckle my seat belt. He’s done this ever since I was able to drive. He says i forget to do it so he just does it for me. His long, slender fingers sliding the buckle in sends a shiver down my spine. He turns on the ignition and I make sure my body is angling toward him. I pull my cherry lipgloss out of my pocket and apply it, once i feel his eyes on me, I move extra slow and run my tongue across my lips, acting as if i’m not paying attention to him but i can see him staring at me out of the corner of his eyes. “fuck” he mutters extremely quietly.

“Hm?” I say, turning my head back to face him.

“uh” he shakes his head “matt, are you okay?” i roll his name off of my tongue as seductively as i can as i lean over the middle console. We stop at a red light and i take the opportunity. “matt, look at me” he does so.

“Your acting weird.” i say once his eyes meet mine.

“You know what your doing y/n” he says lowly before the light turns green and he adverts his attention back to the road.

“I don’t know what your talking about.” i say with a slight giggle as he continues the drive to central downtown. “You know the reason mackie thought it was a friend thing is because of you right? she thinks we’re together.” matt says harshly while pulling over by a dark, empty field. “you’re gonna cock block me and then have the audacity to rile me the fuck up like this?”

His eyes grow dark as he unbuckles his seat belt and puts the car in park. His hand starts traveling up my thigh.

“I cock blocked you? how is that my fault that she thinks we’re together?” i spit out, my breathing heavy at the feeling of his touch.

“I see you y/n, eye fucking me anytime we’re near each other. You’ve been having those thoughts for a while now yeah?” He says, leaning extremely close now, our faces inches apart.

“Matt-“ my breathing hitches when he unbuckles me and pulls me onto his lap so i’m now straddling him.

“Fuck y/n. that lipgloss.” he says in a shaky voice while bringing his thumb up to my lips.

“Matt- don’t touch me if you don’t have feelings for me because you know damn well that i-“ i start to rant but he quickly presses his mouth to mine. I pull away quickly.

“So you do-“ i try to speak but his mouth is on mine again. His lips as soft as i thought they would be. His hands traveling up my sides, his grip firm as i feel his dick harden underneath me. I groan against the feeling as his tongue swipes against my lip seeking for entry which I allow. Our tongues gliding across one another in a fight for dominance. “Please” i groan quietly into his ear.

“please what baby? use your words.”

“touch me” i say into his ear as i start to kiss down his neck. he wastes no time as his hands quickly start to slide my sweatpants off. I move with him to make it easier for him to glide my pants off.

“fuck your drenched” he says breathlessly as he starts to rub my clothed pussy.

“Matt” i moan out.

“hm?”

“more” i pant out.

“more of what baby? tell me what you need.” he says while kissing my neck. his lips tugging and nipping at my sensitive skin.

“you matt- i want-“ my face goes red not wanting to say it.

“Say it baby. use your words.”

“i want your dick” i muster up the courage to spat out. He shifts underneath me and lets out a whimper at my words. his erection must be painful by now. He quickly slides his pants down to his thighs and lets his member spring free from the confines of his boxers, the tip red and swollen, already leaking pre cum.

“It’s too big-“ i say starting to panic at his at least 8 inches.

“your gonna be a good girl and take it, yeah?” he says and i nod eagerly. He places his hands on my hips and i help guide him to my entrance, his tip gathering in my juices before sliding into me causing me to let out a loud moan. He gives me barely any time to adjust before he’s ramming into me at a steady pace.

“Your so tight” he grunts out before leaning his head back against the seat.

“Ma-“ my words are cut off by the involuntary noises that start stringing from me when he starts to fuck up into me. I can already feel my release building and by the way his legs are shaking i can tell he’s almost there too. “Such a good girl” he praises which makes me go faster chasing our highs.

“Fuck y/n-“ he grunts out as i release onto him with a yell and he shoots his load into me. His thrusts slow down, riding out our high as we both slow our breathing. He pulls out and i rest my head on his shoulder.

“you know i love you right?” he says quietly, almost as if he’s afraid i’ll actually hear.

“you’re not just saying that because of what just happened are you?” i say quickly out of fear.

“Fuck no. No y/n, I just never knew that you felt like that about me until tonight.” He says while petting the back of my hair soothingly.

“I love you too matt” i say, placing a quick kiss onto his lips.

#sturniolos #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo smut #dom!matt #praise k!nk

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yenqa · 3 months

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ADVANTAGES

in which…

on jay’s live, fans point out a stuffed animal on his bed, one that seems to be the other piece to your notorious missing pair. as imaginary pieces start to connect for fans, the viewers beg for some kind of interaction. and though you and jay have never met before, why not use this situation to your advantage?

warnings : crying, panic attacks, depression is depicted but isnt really said, lots of bad self talk, food/eating, having no appetite, just lots of bad mental health talk and depictions, hurt/comfort, god this chapter is PACKED

wc: 1829

i’m sorry that i couldnt be your teenage dream.

not proofread!

☆

It had been a week and a half since you had seen anyone.

Well other than the cashiers at the local grocery store but that made you look even more pathetic.

You haven’t been well, at all.

It was a horrible sight, honestly you couldn’t even look at yourself in the mirror without cringy. You had no productivity and had planned to do nothing for as long as possible.

You were surprised your body hasn't exploded yet, since all you had ate was instant ramen or the three meals you could cook total.

Today was one of the worse-r days. Three hours into the new day but your mind couldn’t seem to sleep one bit.

You had zero appetite, your room was a mess, it was worse that you couldn’t even sleep away the days even though you were so tired. Your eyes were glued shut at night but your body couldn’t stop fighting the feeling of sleep.

So here you were, eye bags almost able to give the color purple a run for its money, and so puffy it felt like a balloon was stuck in there. But your eyes hadn’t shed any tears, instead you felt like nothing. Like you were just floating around with no purpose or any feeling at all.

The empty feeling in your head made you unable to do anything but scroll on your phone, letting hours after hours pass by rewatching your favorite show at least a billion times. It seemed like the world had gone gray, like the world was ending and you were the only one feeling it.

A part of you screamed at yourself to get a grip, to stop being so dramatic and realize there are still good things in life.

You tried to get better, you really did. You had researched on how to get over this drought but you never could. So every night you would lay in your bed, trying to figure out what was wrong with you.

Mornings have always been your least favorite part of the day. But it seemed to get worse with every second that passed.

Realizing you still had a whole day ahead of you seemed utterly impossible to finish, but still you would reach your hand out to the finish line, only to miss every time.

You had six hours until it was the appropriate time to wake up. You couldn’t call anyone for help, you couldn’t text anyone in the middle of the night. It was your burden, so you had to keep it to yourself and hope and pray it washes away over time.

Your phone has been your only sense of livelihood during your dull days. If you had been wasting hours after hours at least you had been doing something.

Before you could think of the consequences, you had thought of searching yourself on the internet, just for fun. You clicked on the first source, hoping that someone would see your side of the story.

No it was not fun–you wish you could warn yourself because the title of the article read; “All you need to know about Y/niora and why she’s trending”

We’ve all seen the names “Y/n” or “Y/niora” trending on X, who is she? Some might wonder. In this article I’ll be going over everything she’s done wrong, and why fans hate her for it.

Y/n is a popular streamer on twitch, known for her funny commentary and her boyfriend Jay, but recently she’s shown a darker side to her.

Her boyfriend, Jay, is also a twitch streamer, a much more popular one at that. He’s known for his good looks and his random reactions that have us crying with laughter, but why would he date a nobody like her?

If you’ve seen Y/niora’s X account, you can see that she posts provocative photos of herself, things that only lead to temptations of male fans. Fans speculate this is the reason they met, saying that she seduced him and used him for money, fame, and views.

If you know anything about streaming, you know BlueJay and his friends. Who stole the internet's hearts with their looks and cute personalities. But things start picking up between Jay and Y/n when she posts their matching stuffed animals, officially presenting their relationship to the world.

This seems to be a bad move on Y/n’s part, as her facade starts slipping through and we get to see her for the calloused person she is.

She continuously shows her disinterest in anything he’s saying. Making him repeat everything he’s said to her. This strikes up the question, does she really care about him or her fans?

Arguments of this exact topic have been trending among fans, some saying

You closed your phone before you could read anything else. Flipping your body over you could feel tears start to form in your eyes, your vision goes blurry and your breath starts hiccuping.

Wiping your wet cheeks, you start to panic when you feel like your throat is closing up, placing your hand on your chest to try to calm yourself down.

That clearly doesn’t work. As you swear you can feel the walls closing in beside you. In a last effort to stop your ugly sobs, you open your phone once more, your breath quickens when you open the phone app, calling the person that you need the most right now.

The ringing on your phone shakes you more, “Please answer, please answer, please answer.” You croak out desperately, glancing at your window to realize it’s the middle of the night, and he’s probably getting the nice sleep he deserves.

Unlike you who only makes things worse, and can’t even get a wink of sleep at night.

You sob harder after the fifth ring, realizing that he’s not going to answer. And you have to do this on your own–

“Y/n? Are you okay?” His voice brings relief to your ears, that’s until you realize the state you’re in.

“Jay I’m so–so so sorry for calling you this late.” You rasp out, “I just don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can’t stop shaking and crying, I just–fuck” Bringing your hand up, you grab a fist of your hair, not knowing what to do or say.

“Are you at home?”

“Yeah, I am.” You choke through, words barely coherent.

“I’m coming. Stay there, okay?”

“Okay.”

His tone is so soft it scares you. How could he be talking to you so sweetly knowing the mess you made? How could he be talking to you so sweetly knowing that you are burdening him at such a late hour?

Your throat tries its best to keep your hammering heart inside your chest, but it closes up, your breath is so uneven you're not even sure you’re breathing at all.

That is until you let out a soft apology into your phone, but it’s covered by your staggered breathing, and the sound of you stuffing up your snot back into your nose.

The silence coming from him is apparently meant to drive you insane. Because the nausea of it all starts to get to you, your condition is crippling so you can’t even move from your curled up position on your bed.

You can hear your door slam open, eliciting a strong flinch from you.

Your heart seems to be racing too fast for your liking, almost like it’s fighting to get out of your chest. “Jay?” You mutter, as you can see his dark silhouette standing through the doorway.

Before you can actually decipher if the man is actually Jay or just some random burglar who found your spare key, you feel his arms wrap around your body, tucking your head into the space between his neck and shoulder.

You conclude that it’s Jay’s warmth you’re feeling right now.

For a second you feel safe, for a second you feel like he’s just hugging you, not because you are literally having a panic attack.

That snaps you back into reality. God were you really having a panic attack over an article? That you chose to read?

Feeling your chest tighten and your eyes water up, you tuck your head impossibly deeper, letting your tears and snot get all over his shirt.

It’s grossing you out how you can physically feel his shirt dampen with your tears, but you’re too focused on figuring out how to breathe rather than the mess you made on his shirt.

“You can let it out, or you can just cry, I don’t mind.”

You sob even harder than you were before.

He’s so warm. He’s so warm. And you have no idea why it’s the perfect descriptor for him.

“Jay,” You mutter, being muffled by his shoulder, “I’ve ruined everything.”

His arm rubs your back gently, “You haven’t ruined anything, pretty.” He whispers, talking like if he speaks any louder you’ll crack into hundreds of pieces (you actually might but that’s not the point).

“I have! You can’t even deny it without lying,” You hiccup, “I mean—I’m trying so hard, but I can’t do anything right.” You pull your head back to look up at him.

He stays silent, letting his hand cup your face, wiping away any tears that fall down.

“And I’m so tired. I’m so tired of doing everything I can but still being hated for not doing enough. I mean who wouldn’t? I can’t even cook a proper meal, it just goes to show how hopeless I am.”

“Y/n you can’t possibly think about yourself.”

“I can because it’s the truth.”

He tucks your head back into his shoulder, “Y/n, not being able to cook a proper meal is okay. Some people never learn how to cook an egg.”

Your breathing calms down slightly, you let out a small chuckle, trying to stay forever in his warmth.

“I’m sorry for calling you here so late, I know you’re tired from streaming or something.”

“I could never stay away from you for too long, even if it’s in the middle of the night.”

Letting out a breathy smile, you look back at his face, a small smile spreads through his face looking at you.

Your eyes were tired, for the first time in a week your body was tired. “I’m going to go to sleep. Thank you, Jay, seriously.”

He gets up from your position, you feel the absence of his warmth even though he just got up, he’s about to walk out the door when you build up the courage to ask, “Can you stay? Just for tonight?”

Looking back, there's a smile on his face as he replies “Always.”

Walking back to you, he lays himself under your blanket, tucking you in before wrapping his arm around you, he pulls you into his chest.

And for the first time in what felt like forever. You fall asleep, in Jay’s arms.

☆

back masterlist next

yenqa > um title is reference to teenage dream by olivia rodrigo! umm hope u enjoyed while i ripped my heart out and put it in my writing… thanks!

taglist (CLOSED): @yeokii @hanniluvi @euncsace @jongsiemain @mrchweeee @fakeuwus @ashy1um @rikisly @filmofhybe @nwjws @yizhoutv @soov @tocupid @tzke1ta @yannew @manooffline @mars101 @haechansbbg @enhaz1 @teddywonss @en-happiness @kim2005bomi @be0mlvr @luvswonyoung @flwoie @lilriswife4life @nicholasluvbot @ikeusol @lylovw @alwayswook @astrae4 @choi-beomgyulvr @aishigrey @infpistj @jiawji @planethyuka @mari-oclock @222brainrot @jakevascaino @rory-cant-sleep @hyehae @vixensss @hearts4hanni @kgneptun @tongtongie @www-jungwon @lovejunz @fluerz @jiyeons-closet @nyuzip @leehanist @heerinnie @eneiyri

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maplesyrupsainz · 1 month

Note

7 with mark webber BUT he's been in that r.s for a long time and realises its toxic and he's being groomed, so he finally leaves her for reader (yes im referring to his wife)

pairing: mark webber x fem y/n reader (she/her)

genre: blurb

warnings: mentions of drinking

prompt: seven you're in love with [driver] and they get a girlfriend

a/n: lowkey idk what im doing here i hope so much it isnt trash lol

my masterlist | 1k celebration

you’ve been in love with mark for as long as you could remember – you tried to deny it for the longest time, but it was no good. the feelings were there and would just not go away.

so, when his call at 3:37am wakes you up, of course you answer. and when he asks you to come pick him up, of course you do. the way you rationalise this: he would do the same for me. but really you’re not so sure.

the address you’re given is a night club, and as you pull up you spot him almost immediately, slumped against a wall. drunk.

“m’sorry, y/n/n.. i don’t usually get like this..” he slurs a bit, but to be honest you’ve seen him worse.

“don’t worry about it, mark, this is nothing.” you smile to yourself as you drive, tapping your fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of a song playing softly from the radio.

“i love you, you know?” he says, and you see him looking over at you in the corner of your eye. you don’t return his gaze.

“i know you do, me too.” you smile painfully, a sick feeling present in your tummy. “we’ve been friends for the longest time, so you have no choice.”

you see him shrug, “yea, i suppose.” he lays his head back against the seat and closes his eyes, and you feel relieved for the silence.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

it’s closer to 5am by the time you’re both inside your apartment, but mark doesn’t seem to care. he points and giggles at the pink crocs you’re wearing, before raiding your cupboards and forcing you to watch a movie with him on the couch.

you glance over at him for a second, realising he's been staring at you. “what is it? is there something on my face?”

“no, i just…” he trails off, “i feel like i’ve wasted so much time not being with the right girl.”

you stare at him, “is everything okay? like, at home?” he shrugs in reply, looking away from you and you mentally curse yourself for saying the wrong thing. mark has a wife, a woman you never hoped he’d marry. “it’s not to late to change your life, you know?”

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

eight days have passed in a blur since that night (or, y’know, morning). mark hasn’t answered your calls, you think maybe it’s a good thing, maybe you need to go cold turkey to get over him. you’ve turned off your phone; it feels unhealthy to check it every five seconds.

it’s on this eighth day, however, that mark is on your doorstep. literally.

you’re arriving home from the gym when you spot him, stood leaning against your front door. “urm, mark?” you call out tentatively, unsure of the situation.

“y/n, i’m so sorry for not picking up the phone, i-”

“mark,” you cut him off, brushing past him to unlock your door, “we can talk inside.” and you do. and your whole world changes.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

“…it’s just, this whole time i’ve had it wrong, i don’t know, maybe i’m crazy.” you’re sat on the coach, watching him pace in front of you, explaining his inner conflict, and you feel sick but at the same time, you feel relieved.

“hey, it’s ok,” you stand up and grab his wrist to stop him from pacing, “you’ll get through this. and the person you’re talking about, the person you think has been right for you all along, just talk to her.”

“i am!” he says, turning to face you abruptly.

“what–” your question is cut off by mark pulling you close and his lips finding yours in impossible fluidity. you are left almost reeling, head spinning, unable to think straight… what just happened?

#f1 #f1 smau #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 imagine #mark webber #mark webber fanfic #blurb #f1 blurb #mark webber blurb #mw2 #mw2 fanfic #mw2 blurb #mw2 fluff #f1 mw2 #jenson button #maddie's fanfics

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xlpoww · 7 months

Text

I wish you would - ZORO'S VER. PART ONE

anonymous asked: i’m a sucker for a opla sanji or zoro x jealous reader 🏃‍♀️ just the months long pining, banter and flirting, assumptions, miscommunication, the heartbreak upon realizing that what they had was just in their head, THE COLD SHOULDER i love it. give me it all. anything. THERE ISNT ENOUGH. BUT WITH A HAPPY ENDING. thanks pookie ily 😣

this is a different format than y'all are used to, but i find some requests more fun/easier to write this way! so i hope y'all don't mind :)

anytime your ship would dock on an island, without fail you and zoro could be found in the bar that night

the whole crew knew there was something between you two, something no one could ever have assumed zoro was capable of.

the longing stares brought on by your inebriated lack of filter. you never normally giggled that much? did you. the ghosts of smiles that your jokes brought to zoro’s lips. if you blinked you would miss the way the corners of his mouth quirked up, only slightly.

your friends were getting fed up honestly. how long would you two hide being the masquerade of being best friends? not everyone could bring down zoro’s walls without a second thought. no one had ever made you smile as bright as the green haired swordman. kiss already, jeez.

“oye zor, i could totally take you!” there’s a drunken flush over your cheeks, and as you lean towards the man in question, your drink sloshes around in your glass. he turns to you with a quirk of his eyebrow, placing his drink down on the table. there’s a ghost of blush dusting across his face, his brown eyes swimming with emotions your intoxicated mind is unable to decipher.

you swear there’s a twinkle in his eye as he speaks, “i don’t think you could handle me sweetheart.” the pet name lights a fire in your stomach, and paired with the raps in his voice? you can’t help the visible intake of breath. zoro’s eyes fall to your own lips, the air feels thick with want. as quickly as the moment begins, your pulled from it by the slam of a glass on the table.

“jesus guys! get a room.” usopp's voice grabs your attention, snapping you back to the reality where zoro doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.

most nights would end with you getting sad and leaving off to your room to go sulk and sober up. you knew your place, it was zoro’s closest friend. nothing more nothing less.

so when the girls would flirt with him, (how could they not. he was gorgeous.) you would bite your tongue and kick back more beer. you had no claims to his heart, no valid reason for your heart to sting so much when girls drape themselves over him. the only comfort being he never returned their affections.

until one night, he does? a girl flirts with him and he flirts back. the interaction feels like a personal attack, a sword right through the middle of you. the pain in your heart was worse than any wound you’d acquired in battle. you weren’t sure if it would ever go away.

you’re not even close enough to hear the interaction, (which was probably a good thing). zoro had walked off to sit at the bar alone while you’d stayed sitting at the table talking to nami. your eyes always followed him though, and the frown that falls onto your lips when a girl walks up to him is hard to miss.

“y/n?” nami follows your gaze to see a woman standing next to zoro, and he turns to look at her. his body language is nothing like anything she’d ever seen with anyone but you.

you’re left speechless, mouth open in shock. who was she? and why was she worthy of his gaze? why had he never looked at you like that. you feel a hand placed over yours, and turn to see nami looking at you. there’s a sadness in her eyes, a pity that took the knife in your heart and twisted it.

“what’s wrong mademoiselle?” sanji speaks up, looking at you with concern. you can’t meet his eyes, you know he means well of course. even so, the flirt was the last person you wanted pity from.

the rest of your drink is tossed back, the stinging feeling in your mouth nothing in comparison to the heavy weight on your shoulders. with an unhidden urgency, you left the table, your chair behind you making a loud noise as you make your quick exit. with a jealousy you didn't believe you had the right to possess, you stomp out of the bar. you didn't have the stomach to spare the sight another glance, but if you had, you would have seen zoro’s concerned eyes on you.

you didn't leave your room that night, or the next morning. sanji had brought food to your door, it went untouched. nami had come to check on you, but you waved her off.

even when your beloved captain came, you opened the door with a smile and told him you were just tired. the look in his eyes meant you knew he wouldn't accept that excuse for too long.

usopp came to bug you later in the afternoon, he would take the hint rather quickly.

the one person you wished had come to check on you, was the reason you were curled up in bed with a hole where your heart should be. how funny was that.

when the man finally came to knock on your door, you just turned over in bed. zoro was left there to wonder in silence, what had happened to his girl?

taglist: @shuujin @angeli-fucking-cat

#zoro x you #zoro x reader #one piece zoro #ronoroa zoro #roronoa zoro #opla zoro #opla zoro x reader #opla #one piece live action sanji #one piece x reader #requested #angst #hurt no comfort #part one

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