#im being stubborn bc no i cant go yet i havent seen the lights yet or read my new books

[flintbian]

Man, life is just depressing right now

#the one thing that was keeping me sane has gone away #i would always say 'yeah every medical professional has given up and there's nothing they can do. but at least i have my PTs' well... #my current PT's are the only ones that ever treated me like a person and they always kept trying...but they've given up too #basically Clare was like we haven't made any gains in over a year and your state keeps getting worse. nothing we do helps #so it may be time to consider stopping bc throwing away money isnt helpful either #and i argued that it's damage control and improves my quality of life and i have a progressive disease i never was going to get better #not to mention mentally it helps to know there's people in my corner and at least they haven't given up on me #but now they have and im feeling so very very alone and hopeless #it's not like this is a surprise right? ive always been beyond help and it's an incurable degenerative disease #but still getting to this point fucking sucks #and i went to the new neurologist and he had nothing but crazy experiments bc ive tried fucking everything #and then to top it off the only doctor i trusted from when i was a teenager for one specific med issue had also said the same #literally this week she was like there's nothing more. i cant help find someone else. sorry kid. wishing you the best #and Xmas is a depressing and challenging time too #and i have 400 med problems while trying to find work #the past few weeks have pulverized me and i havent stopped crying in days #so yeah. terribly terribly alone #and im trying not to go down any spirals and havent. my therapist was out this week. but im seriously questioning the point #at this point maybe i should give up too #im being stubborn bc no i cant go yet i havent seen the lights yet or read my new books #but honestly i havent been able to read partially bc im afraid if i do im losing the last tethers to earth #there's not much or anything to live for #it's at times like these you truly realize how much you dont want to die. you just wish you could live #but im broke and freezing and in pain and alone. this story's ending fucking sucks #my dbt is coming in clutch but seriously. is there a point anymore? #never got to live. sick since a kid. hell was always here #sorry for the depressing state of things ill go back to being insane in a moment #p

[katrielles]

so more on that au where randall joins the layton team after the events of miracle mask

under the cut bc HOOO boii it got long.

so henry, angela, randall and hershel do some good ol’ Catching Up

hershel of course tells them all about the cool stuff he’s been doing (tho it’s mostly emmy and luke telling the stories. “and all along it was DESCOLE’S GIANT ROBOT” “oh and then the professor and descole had a sword fight on top of a giant robot (a different giant robot this time)”  they’re so dramatic and love talking about it. layton’s not the type to brag and they seem to have fun so he just lets them.)

all this time randall’s been away from archaeology and puzzles and everything and regaining his memories has left him feeling somewhat empty bc!! he’s been wasting so much time!! think of all the adventures he’s missed out on!! 

so randall’s all “!!!!!!!” and is immediately like “HERSHEL TAKE ME WITH YOU IM JOINING”

and everyone’s concerned because. randall. randall last time you left on an adventure it didn’t go that well, and don’t you miss angela and henry, and-

but randall lives for this stuff. he cant just stay still while his best friend goes on cool adventures involving the civilization he proved existed!

“i didnt die for this”

so they hesitantly agree to let him go (it’s not like they can stop him either way. hes so stubborn he’d probably follow them around even if they said no anyways).

just. all of azran legacy with randall???

it’s p much canon he’s a big fan of desmond. imagine all the desmond-randall interactions

he’s SO excited about this whole thing. a living mummy!!! azran stuff!! DESMOND. SYCAMORE!

he probably follows desmond around a lot and when he states opinions or guesses he looks to him for approval,, desmond is overwhelmed but he tries to be nice to him.

something about him seems weirdly familiar to him. he cant exactly tell what, but it bothers him. (it must be nothing?)

at phong gi, he’s terribly disappointed by desmond’s bad humor, and is probably like “hey chief i think i know why you cant laugh” “why is it” “because you have no updog”

everyone at phong gi proceeds to pretend they know what updog is, and they’re like “oh we know we just havent found any updog for him yet”

only luke and emmy get it

he’d think emmy is SO COOL and he’s like “teach me how to fight i’ll teach you fencing”

he probably spoils luke a lot. buys him candy and stuff. lets him jump on sofas.

hershel’s so tired

sympathizes a lot with umid because he understands the fear of losing everything or something. probably worries way too much at mossinia.

fits in a lot in san grio!! he’s very cheery and energetic and warm just like the people there! he’s very hesitant to take the popoño because it brings the people so much happiness.

he’d probably dislike hoogland like emmy did.

just wants to pet old red

he’s impressed by luke’s ability to speak with animals!!! he wants luke to teach him!! 

it doesnt work like that randall

he’s so happy to see hershel’s parents again! they’re both so nice. (they’re SO scared when they first see him. hershel may or may not have forgotten to tell them he’s actually alive).

he knows exactly what to say when aurora tries to kill herself. he knows what it’s like to blame yourself for everything and to feel like you don’t deserve redemption, like you only bring pain to the ones you care about.

he’s very, very hurt when it turns out sycamore is descole.

when descole saves luke, he feels guilty for not doing that himself. he feels like, if anyone had to get hurt, it should have been him (even if descole was an asshole, he’s hersh’s brother)

let’s just say there were 6 beams of light instead of 5 in the azran sanctuary in this au,, so randall gets to join in on the fun and dies + comes back too :^)

luke and layton find the people of st mystere odd, but randall doesn’t notice anything weird about them. they’re just very passionate about puzzles, layton, cut them some slack

“ok maybe seeing them dead and then being ok the next day is weird but who am i to judge?”

is OFFENDED when he notices layton planned on leaving flora behind. let her join!!!!

luke+randall+flora vs layton (just stop leaving flora behind, hershel)

probably has a small crush on anton

then anton ties them up and tries to kill them

but he’s still pretty

is probably suspicious of future luke from the very beginning. “no he’s too sassy to be our luke”

randall asks hershel about claire. it’s clear something happened, but he cant tell what, although he can sort guess based on what he’s seen others say about her and hershel’s reactions.

it’s the first time layton talks about claire. he cries.

randall’s really worried about him. hershel bottles up his feelings and keeps things to himself a lot.

with luke gone, it’s just randall, layton and flora.

hershel tells randall he’s taking a break, and maybe he should leave; after all, they must miss him back at monte d’or. (layton stop isolating yourself)

randall’s like “if im going you’re going too.” and he wants to show flora monte d’or too. she’d love it there!

they all still miss luke a lot though.

#pl #professor layton #randall ascot #azran legacy #ranlay #maayyybe? #i live for this au #technically theres a bit from all the games here but im too lazy to tag the other games