#it gives me a feeling of melancholy

[bethanydelleman]

The Great Gatsby & Mansfield Park

These two books, written by very different people in very different eras, give me the same feeling. The first time I read Mansfield Park, the similar feeling was from this line:

They were careless people, Tom and Daisy – they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.

Because the first time I saw the book as Fanny did, I saw the Crawfords as invaders who kind of ruined this family and then escaped without being harmed, but then I read it again and I realized that what really makes me sad in each book is the sadness of unachievable dreams.

Gatsby never gets Daisy, Edmund never gets Mary. Both of them couldn’t see the real woman. Edmund will not listen and sees what he wants to exist. Gatsby sees Daisy as a representation of wealth and success not as an actual human with a past and emotions.

Both family structures, Daisy & Tom and the Bertrams, are superficially beautiful and yet inwardly rotten (with the exception of Edmund, mostly)

Nick Caraway and Fanny Price both occupy a strange liminal space where they are within and outside of higher society.

Jordan Baker and Mary Crawford both kind of watch the action from the sidelines and don’t get involved in the morality. Both lose their love interest because of how they react to the climax of the story.

Nick and Fanny both do this strange thing where at first they don’t seem to really be participants in the story, but kind of strange narrator-observers but as time go on they take more of the stage

The hollow morality of the rich, disillusionment with society

Something between Gatsby and Fanny, where they are both raised up socially (Gatsby by his wealth and Fanny by her family), but they aren’t fully there and no one treats them as a equal. They are neither rich nor poor, they don’t fit anywhere. To oppose my point above a little, Nick knows how to fit, he isn’t fully in the club because he has a job and is poor. But Gatsby makes social errors and doesn’t seem to pick up cues, because he doesn’t have the education. Fanny has only a part of the education and no wealth. Her own conciousness of how poorly she merits a place in the society she lives in. But then she doesn’t fit in Portsmouth anymore either..

So anyway, despite being very different, these books occupy the same real estate in my head because I get a similar vibe from them. Someday I want to do a sort of crossover but I’m not totally sure how. Interestingly, while I have written varations to make Mansfield Park end happily, I don’t have the same compunction with The Great Gatsby. Maybe it’s because I literally don’t know how to fix it. Obviously you could send Gatsby home on time from WWI, but would Daisy really choose him? Would they actually be happy? If anything I want to write a nice happy ending for Jordan Baker.

#f scott fitzgerald #the great gatsby #mansfield park #jane austen #fanny price #edmund bertram #jordan baker #parallel vibes #it gives me a feeling of melancholy #there are no other books that give me the same vibe #I don't know #Someone told me I was crazy once for connecting these two #So here is my rationalization #This is how my brain works

[fuckthemforthis]

It took Bojan 20-ish minutes to write this, after seeing a Syrian girl with golden shoes in the news, walking around a destroyed town. He was 18 at the time

And my soul needs it in Joker Out's discography.

Same in iglis:

#bojan cvjeticanin #bojan cvjetićanin #joker out #omar naber #aleppo #the way it encompasses my sad feels #and gives me early novi val vibes #and has an absolutely heartbreaking verse in the slovenian version that doesn't translate so strong in english #might be regular monthly melancholy catching up with me but this is currently my greatest treasure

[yuckydraws]

(Click for better quality)

Oh, to be a lil pretty fairy in a magical secret forest. Taking a lil nap on a lil tree with twisted, wild branches. Just peacefully dreaming of what your next lil foraged meal will be. Perhaps you’ll catch a lil swim in the river, or pull a lil prank on some humans tomorrow. But right now? You’re gonna catch a lil sleep.

#feeling melancholy and forlorn #lookit me using big words #drew this to relax and instead dealt with csp and tumblr being a bitch when i went to upload this cause the file was too big #so now im annoyed #and this is a screenshot so it completely ruined the quality #grrrrrrrr #anyways #back to peacefulness lol #i know i gotta finish refs but lemme have my fairy yu moment #i think im gonna draw her some more #it was oddly comforting #couldn't decide if i should give her glasses or not #maybe in the next one #... okay ill shut up now #yucky draws #my art #my art shit #self insert #digital art

[soldier-poet-king]

Literally went to brush my teeth and was struck by overhwleming anxiety about a hypothetical situation that might not even come to pass (I get that new job that I want and I have to tell my current boss that I'm leaving in the middle of this big project that I partially initiated & am the only person in-office currently competent enough to do it. It's not impossible, I'm writing clear guides, but they'll have to hire someone else who probably won't be as thrilled about the finnicky bits or as patient and accommodating and people pleasing with all the nonsense that goes on)

And THEN I saw/noticed smthn on tumblr that made me feel REALLY bad about myself and it's just. 👉👈 Are you mad at me? What did I do wrong? Is absolutely NOT the appropriate or mature response here so I'm gonna keep my damn mouth shut but also. Consider. I am a desperate void with abandonment issues living with the knowledge that everyone eventually gets tired of me, if I don't manage to push them away with my badness first like

Who out here living with the foundational belief that they are a fundamentally un-likeable/unlovable person, a fundamentally bad person, and beneath it all not even really A Real Person but just a gross void and that's why you can't keep any friends & will always be lonely

I can't even blame the internet bc being offline is equally lonely given the limitations of my day to day life, and it's all just different flavours of the same isolation

#the duality of fran #this is just self pity ignore me im going to go curl up in bed and cry i think #at least my sheets are clean #idk. it's just. this unending grief #and i had been having a good time playing bg3 with rose and j #and then just??? #it feels like life is kinda just an endless cycle of this #and maybe its normal and happens to everyone and im just too sensitive to it #idk how to not feel it so deeply or personally. idk that i want to #i just. give up #went to mass tonight so tmrws goals. meal plan and grocery run. read atfots all day probably. maybe bake #but mostly just curl up woth atfots and hide. it isnt hitting the same as hote #but kips personal desires. his hidden want in it. the endlessness of it #its the same melancholy as Tolkien's elves. the sea longing and cry of the gulls #and i am full up of that empty longing #how can you be full of emptiness? which is by definition absence? idk. but thats what it is #also my skin is itchy

[hotelbitches]

i miss my friends tails

#* ooc: let's go lesbians! #negative cw #i'm going to bed bc the hashtag depression is getting to me today #but i miss all the people who i talked to for like a week straight all day and then never heard from again bc they moved on from hazbin #makes every new attempt at meeting someone and bonding with them feel. idk. feeble maybe? #and meanwhile i feel like i'm the one that's lacking bc i can't reply to threads as fast as i want to #and my drafts are just holding me down with guilt that i haven't answered them #mb i should go through and just get rid of all the answered asks i wanted to continue as threads but idk if it'll even make a difference #aaaaaaaaaaaaaa someone give me a lobotomy brain doing too much #not Really negative just. a bit sad. melancholy maybe. idk im going to bed irguejithk

[coldshrugs]

they live here now ☀

#ffxiv #io laithe #io/estinien #when you and your partner are being casual and chill but also must have weapons on you at almost all times #anyway me and the homies have been talking about places our wols would live if housing was available there #and while io does love her simple little place in more dhona thavnair is so close to her HOME #near enough to feel almost nostalgic but far enough not to cause melancholy #and post-enw msq has basically solidified that she's spending almost all her time there now T^T #okay but this was so fucking hard to pose with her in that tunic #the dagger. the hood #i give this a 7/10 for effort

[jankwritten]

I know it's not plausible nor does it make sense with canon, but I just WANT there to be more fics of PJO characters experiencing snow for the first time. Like maybe Jason and Percy are out on a quest and it starts snowing overnight and Jason doesn't know WHAT is going on because he can feel it in the way he can feel the rain, but it's different too, it makes him feel chillier, makes him want to lay down and stare up and up at it.

Or maybe it's Will, who lived in Texas his whole life and then at camp, never seeing snow because he's always back home in Texas by the time Chiron lets some snow in for the campers to mess around in. One day it's too dangerous to let any campers go home at their normal time, and after speaking with his mom Will decides he wants to stay with his friends in New York all year (he's probably just graduated from school so he's taking a gap year or something, and he wants to hang out with Nico and Piper and all his other friends) and Chiron announces one night near the very end of November that there is a forecast for snow the next day, and that the borders will be adjusted to let it in. Will is so excited he barely gets to sleep because he's never SEEN snow before. He wakes his cabin up early enough that they're all grumpy about it (there's only like 2 other Apollo kids there with him but still) but they all go out and throw snowballs at each other and Will isn't dressed right, his hands are so cold they hurt but he's having the TIME OF HIS LIFE.

Nico who has only ever had bad memories of the snow - he first met Percy in the snow which led to him losing Bianca, the snow nearly killed him when he was on the run all alone, so forth and so forth - wakes up to snow in Camp Half-Blood and he's instantly not in the mood. He doesn't have gloves or a hat or a scarf or anything, so he just tries to layer on his thickest shirt and sweater and trudges to the dining pavilion, ignoring all of the kids around him screaming and laughing and having fun. He's miserable about it, and is going to just spend the day in his cabin with the doors and windows locked shut. What he doesn't anticipate is Jason and Will running up to his cabin and, first, throwing snowballs at his windows like assholes, until he stomps over and yanks open the door to yell at them. Then he doesn't expect them handing him orange and purple gloves, hat, a sweater, and even socks, which apparently they had both been saving just for him. They don't let him make excuses, they just drag him out the second he's dressed. At first he's snappish and a dick about it, even though now he's not even cold with all his bundled up layers, but then as the day goes and Will stuffs a snowball DIRECTLY into Jason's face and Connor Stoll starts selling Styrofoam cups of hot chocolate, two for a drachma, and Annabeth makes snow angels with a group of the younger kids who couldn't go home this year, he, ironically, starts to melt a little bit. Will definitely doesn't expect the snowball he gets to the face, from Nico's glove.

Piper who's from the beach, from Malibu, who's seen snow, but not really the kind you can play in, just the thinnest little dusting that makes things a little prettier. She hated snow because of it, because it always felt fucking contrived, like it was just there to make the place more appealing to tourists, so when she hears that Chiron is going to let snow into CHB she just rolls her eyes and throws her hands up and wonders what's even the fucking point of it, why even bother making everything pretty here when there aren't even tourists to impress?? But then she gets up the next day and she's only got one sibling staying year round so they sort of silently agree to spend the day together, and there's fun breakfast being served at the dining pavilion and Chiron has let everybody get out of their classes for the day so they can mess around in the snow. There are already kids out ice skating on the lake even though Percy keeps telling them it's not totally safe yet. Camp, for once, is full of kids running around and screaming because they're having fun, and something clicks for her and she goes oh. Okay, maybe I do get it. She hangs out with her sibling all day, and Leo and Jason when she can catch up with them, but her favorite thing is catching those little snowflakes on the fuzzy parts of her gloves and watching them dissolve, examining each little individual structure until it disappears.

#pjo #percy jackson #i'm having a lot of thoughts and love for the snow okay dont judge me #jason grace #hoo #nico di angelo #leo valdez #annabeth chase #piper mclean #percy jackson and the olympians #pjato #camp half-blood looks SO pretty in the snow you can't tell me otherwise #the Apollo cabin doesn't get any snow on it because it's too warm so Will asks somebody to take pictures of the other cabins #so he can send them to his mom #Piper buys hot cocoa from connor even though she doesn't trust that it's not laced with something and gives the other one to Leo #who is feeling melancholy 'cause he misses his mom the most at this time of year #(she also mercilessly tries to set Leo up with her sibling because Leo keeps blushing every time he looks at them) #Nico and Will and Jason end up having to sit in the infirmary because they DID very nearly catch hypothermia #but it's okay because they're all three huddled together and they're still sort of giggling about getting to be kids again anyway #Percy and Annabeth share hot cocoa because of course they do and Percy invites Annabeth to come over to his place for the holidays #because 'if you think it's pretty here just wait until you see ma's backyard i'm so serious' #definitely not because he wants to run around with Annabeth and Estelle and his mom and Paul and Mrs. O'Leary and be a family for once #guys i'm so fucking unwell about this it's not even funny

[steelycunt]

starting 2 finish up research and move into trying to create some sort of plan and. this r is sooo. oh my. he is the loneliest girl in the world but like actually this time. he is so very. he needs a hug so terribly much he is such a sock in need of darning he needs a little kiss he needs. even just one single friend

#r in an au is often sooo crazy because it’s like imagine the guy that this friendless + melancholy boy would become if #instead of making friends 4 life at age eleven he simply continued to be friendless + melancholy for his entire adolescence #he needs. he soo desperately needs someone who is not his mother to grab him by the shoulders and go hello i like you i like spending time #with you i think the things you have to say are interesting and i would consider you my friend. or he might die......... #still need to give this thing a . fucking title huh. i have one in the works but i dont like it all that much. usually the title is the #first thing i come up with this is. crazy 4 me what even is this thing if it doesnt have a pretentious nonsense little titular phrase #anyway r he is so. he loves his home so fiercely he doesnt feel like its his he never wants to leave he thinks if he doesnt get out #he might die his home is everything 2 him he wants to turn his home into something that does not make him so unbearably sad and #lonely and like a stranger or he will not be able to stay here he. wants his dad to like him as well as loving him he wants the things he #loves to love him back he wants. a friend. well dont worry i am going to give him a pretty boy to. hold hands with justhold on babygirl... #pride au

[hometownangels]

thoughts on farewell neverland by txt?? <3

one of my favourite bsides!! i love the acoustic guitar and i love that it ends the album off nicely. the lyrics are really nice too!!

#i could talk about it for days #it gives me a really melancholy feeling #like im actually leaving something behind #anon #asks

[cicidraws]

music is a powerful tool to fuck up your mood, bring it down, and lift it up

be careful always

that being said i made a playlist-

#I only listen to it when i wanna draw the feeling it gives me #which can depress someone so im always careful too #yeah its called melancholy and unease if you wanna find it on spotify LMAO #some things Yes i know are common on tiktok but some arent but ive found most on my own outside of it #adding more eventually its kinda short #i couldnt figure out a better name for it

[lavender-femme]

someday i won’t have to cry myself to sleep. someday i’ll feel warm and loved and wanted and i’ll be wrapped up safely in my beloved’s arms and there won’t be anything worth worrying over. someday i’ll be loved. someday i’ll be seen.

#just not today I guess #god I’m tired and I’m sad and annoyed and idk I just wish holidays didn’t give me this awful melancholy mood #i miss magic… any level of it #but most of all I miss connection and having people to spend the day with #I’m working (in 5.5 hours 🙄) because it’s giving me something to do #otherwise what is there? #i’m no longer welcome at the place I used to spend the holidays #thanks to a former best friend who fucking ruined that four years ago now #this year I thought I’d be building my own new traditions with [redacted] in New Jersey #but here I am #working because I can’t stand to not do SOMETHING #guess I’ll take myself to a movie or something #maybe just embrace it all and sleep until evening when I get to finally see my friends #(sibling of that former best friend… bc again. not welcome there so we have to wait) #idk y’all #I’m just feeling incredibly unloved today #unloved unwanted etc etc #and I fucking hate it #also if you’ve gotten this far please just send love #and know I appreciate you so much #I’m talking #broken petals

[twilighthappiness]

I got this card while scouting in jp (was hearing the koisuru scramble lines for the first time) and then I got this card! HE'S SO SNUGGLY, HE LOOKS SO COMFY IN THAT GETUP, WHY IS HE SO ADORABLE.

#okay but like tsumugi makes me feel a whole spectrum of emotions that I only take the recommended 20ml per day #like albedo gives me that mix of romanticism(both artistically and just being romantic) with melancholy #(夢みたい) #enstars #enstars yume #tsumugi aoba #:: threads of time

[blackcatanna]

It's amazing how easy it is to feed half a kilogram of grapes into my ravenous maw.

#Meanwhile the steak I also ordered to satisfy my period craving sits neglected... #I think I will cook it now though... #Uber Eats gave me £20 off my first £30 grocery order so I decided to indulge... #They missed cheese and bread and panty liners off my order tho :( #I will likely not be ordering again unless they give me another fat ass discount #Luckily I still have some cheese and bread and panty liners in stock but STILL. FRUSTRATING! #They didn't charge me for the items missing but I like some reliability... Especially when THE CRIMSON FURY is upon me #Nothing worse than being disappointed on your period #Time to cook STEAK and feast on its juicy flesh 3:) #I like 'em RARE #I try to be considerate about how much meat I eat but when I eat meat I eat MEAT #PROTEIN #IRON #The iron tablets are not enough to stop me craving bloody rare meat it seems #Whenever I am feeling unwell I crave meat and blood #probably because I don't eat enough healthy food X_X #I also sometimes crave delicious fish :) #I still have a jar of herring in my fridge in case the melancholy strikes again!

[likedbyuarmyhope]

i’ve really been an army for over six years huh. i’ve been an army for almost a third of my life

#i was 15 when i discovered them. jk was fucking 19 and now i’m 21 and hes turning 26 like i’ve actually grown up with them #i’m so excited and impatient for the future with them but im also sad for all the experiences i had as a baby army that i can never get back #my first year as an army was almost entirely on tumblr and the community used to be so big and social and just. so much fun #even my first couple years on army twt feel so nostalgic now. there were bad things of course but also so many great things #i just feel so lucky to have lived through these last few years with them and i never want to lose those feelings #aeron.txt #it’s so cliche but there really are so many things that you just had to be there for #the struggle of joining their fancafe (i definitely gave up after the first few tries) #the first bangtan bomb they added closed captions to (and when they took them away as punishment for spreading an exclusive fancafe video) #(i still hold that video of the tannies taking turns kissing taehyung so very close to my heart) #their first ever bbma. their first performance at the amas #the creation of bt21 #the post-concert vlives during tours #bon voyage to look forward to every summer #jimin’s silent twitter videos #we’ve consistently gotten so much from them and i’m so happy for all that we’re continuing to get #i never want to seem like i think the old days were ‘better’ or like i’m not just as grateful for what they give us now #i just get so nostalgic and melancholy when i think of all the things that we don’t get to experience anymore #i was so young and going through some of my most formative years and it’s such a unique feeling to have grown up alongside bts #i’m still growing up with them. so much of what they taught me years ago is only now showing up in the decisions i make about my life #god i love them so much i love them so so so much

[singing-swan]

The conversation with Hermes in front of the Elpis flowers was beautiful, but for me it mostly confirm the thought I had earlier that the world unsundered is cruel in ways the world sundered can't be. Because an utopia relies on everything being perfect, and when you need everything to be perfect to work the slightest deviation will be rejected. Specimens in Elpis are destroyed if they don't fit in, and in the same way Hermes's feelings of grief and and sadness are immediately dismissed by everything and everyone around him. Because this world is perfect, and how can you not be happy with perfection?

I'm not really going anywhere with this I'm just... How out of place must you feel to be so relieved when you see someone else experience sadness, because you thought you were the only one?

#this gives me the same type of feelings i had a lot in shb #it's sad not in the “i'm gonna cry” kinda way #but in the “this gives me a profound feeling of melancholy” #idk if i'm making sense i'm a bit sick rn so i might just be out of it #anyway. #what a good game. making me feel lots of stuff. #mai plays ffxiv #endwalker spoilers #ffxiv spoilers

[babyvampgirl]

This song gives me feeeelings!

#synthpop #new wave #80s nostalgia #1980s #80s retro #tears for fears #everybody wants to rule the world #feelings #uplifting melancholy #Youtube #this song gives me life #this song gives me feelings #feeelings #good ass song