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cinnamontoastcrunch-15 · 4 months

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HI I'm so sorry I vanished, I've had an absolutely MAD few weeks and I'm still going to be insanely busy over the next few months, but now that I have a free moment, have this oneshot I wrote at 2am a few days ago! I'm wrapping up a few chapters of my wips that'll be out soon too!!

It's not the most descriptive thing, but I'm playing around with the concept of turning this into a six chapter thing, so this is more me testing the waters lol

For a while, it's just a cough.

Sirius has noticed the hacking cough developing over three weeks, but he doesn't think too much of it. Why would he? Remus downplays everything that happens to him, and anytime Sirius brings up getting it checked out, he's just waved off with a small, gentle smile.

It's only when he passes out that Sirius gets him to do something about it.

He's just gotten out of the bloody hospital wing after the full, and although it's not exactly normal for Remus to be this... shaky, they all just think it's that. As they walk, Sirius can't handle watching Remus struggling with his bag.

"Right, hand it over," Sirius says simply, stopping. Remus stops with him, James and Peter moving a little more before they turn back too.

"Hm? What?"

"Your bag. Hand it over."

"I'm fine, it's fine," He tries to dismiss it, coughing once, but Sirius isn't having it this time.

"Moony, you look like you're about to keel over. You don't get a say in it."

Remus rolls his eyes, but he's quite clearly biting back a smile as he pulls his bag off his back and hands it to Sirius, who slings it over his free shoulder without hesitation. They both go to keep walking, when Remus is hit with a coughing fit. He stops again, hands still jittering as he uses the back of it to try and stifle it.

"Hey, d'you need water?" Sirius asks, going to open and rifle through Remus' bag, but Remus just shakes his head.

"I- I can't- can't-"

Sirius doesn't need him to fill in the blanks. He can see the panic, the paling of his face.

Remus can't breathe.

"Shit, right, come on." Without thinking, he wraps an arm firmly around Remus' waist and pulls him as quickly as he can to the hospital wing. "Madame Pomfrey?!"

She appears in less than a second as Sirius sits Remus down onto the bed. Remus can't exactly complain, resting both forearms against his thighs and dropping his head down as he struggles for breath. Forcing himself not to panic, Sirius reaches out and claps Remus on the back a few times. It seems to work, dislodging something enough to give Remus a breath, but not to free it from his windpipe altogether.

Still, relief courses through him as Remus finally starts taking heaving breaths, and Sirius opts for moving his hand in a gentle circle over Remus' back. Madame Pomfrey crouches in front of Remus, taking hold of both of his shoulders and pushing him upright. Breathing seems to come a little easier for him then, as Madame Pomfrey watches him carefully.

"You're staying here overnight, at the very least."

"Why?" Remus asks with a frown. "I'm fine. S'just a cough."

"That isn't just a cough," Poppy says carefully, pointedly. "It sounds like there's either some kind of blockage, or another serious issue. Either way, you need monitoring. You're staying, you are not allowed to refuse that."

"I'll go and grab you come food," Sirius says, moving his hand to squeeze Remus' shoulder before standing.

"M'not really hungry..." Remus admits. "I haven't been for a while, really."

"Moony, why haven't you said anything?" James asks, stunned. Remus just shrugs, unsure.

"You're still eating. I'll be back in a few minutes."

With that, he makes a beeline for the kitchens, lets the elves gives him enough wrapped food for a small feast, then heads straight back to the hospital wing. James and Peter are still there, Remus having conceded to sitting in the bed, Madame Pomfrey having checked him over carefully and is now leaving him alone with his friends. Sirius drops down into a seat and starts pulling the food out of his bag.

As they all eat in silence, Remus clearly trying to stifle his own coughing every now and then, there's an unspoken knowledge that Remus is probably going to be in the wing for a while. Still, Sirius at least expects Madame Pomfrey to have it figured out by the next day.

Instead, Remus just seems to get worse.

Three days pass, and Remus has gone from bad to awful, having coughing fits at least once an hour, and Sirius is barely leaving the hospital wing at this point. Every day sends him spiralling slightly more into his own anxiety, waiting until Remus has fallen asleep every night to let himself feel.

It's takes another two days for Madame Pomfrey to figure it out, and they're all there when she does. She emerges from her office, making her way over to the bed.

"I know what's happening," she starts simply. "Did you want me to tell you alone, or...?"

"No, it's fine," Remus says, "they can stay."

"You have Hanahaki Disease," she starts, confusing all four of them. Obviously she's expecting this, as she keeps talking. "It's incredibly rare, very few known cases. I had to get in contact with St. Mungo's to get real information about it. Essentially, it is a disease that causes red roses to develop in the patient's lungs."

"Roses?" Sirius asks, stunned.

"Sorry, I- I didn't tell you. I didn't want to freak any of you out." Sirius doesn't even have time to think about that part before Poppy continues.

"It is actually caused by love. Romantic love that the patient believes to be unrequited."

"Oh." That even throws Remus, whose eyes flick to his hands as he starts fidgeting with them over the covers.

Remus is in love.

That almost crushes Sirius.

Mostly because of the word unrequited. It means that any hope he had of Remus ever liking him back flies down the drain.

He doesn't let himself process those emotions, quashing them to focus on Remus. There's no fucking time to wallow.

"There are actually two treatments for this," Poppy says, taking the book from under her arm, titled 'Mysterious Magical Ailments', pulled it open to a bookmarked page and started to read from it. "The patient should initially attempt to confess their emotions to said object of their affections, due to the possibility of the love not truly being unrequited. Reciprocated love is the simplest solution to Hanahaki Disease.

"If this is not successful, the base of the roses can be removed magically. However, this only has a seventy percent success rate. Also, the patient's romantic feelings for the object of their affection will go, and many patients are unlikely to feel romantic attraction again." She closes the book and watches Remus carefully. Remus glances up, eyes meeting Poppy's decisively.

"Remove it."

"Moony, wait. Don't you think you should at least try the other one first?" James pipes up quickly, carefully. "You never know, she could feel the same and, even if she doesn't, you'll get the feelings taken anyway, right? It's worth a shot."

"He doesn't. I'm sure he doesn't. He has no reason to," Remus snaps quickly, devolving into another coughing fit. Sirius doesn't hesitate in doing the same thing he has done every time since he first went to the hospital wing, as Remus leans forward and Sirius reaches out to tap his back, to dislodge the flower in his throat. Poppy pulls her wand put with her free hand, ready, but she doesn't need it. Nobody even has time to acknowledge Remus' revelation, but Poppy steps in the moment the coughing stops.

"I'll have to bring someone in, as it is a procedure I've never carried out before, and it has fairly high risks attached to it. I can get in contact with the same healer from St. Mungo's, she should be happy to perform it."

The healer agrees.

She offers to arrive in two days to resolve the problem. That gives Sirius a lot of time to think.

Firstly, Remus is gay. Sirius could actually have been in with a chance, if he wasn't in love with someone else. Also the fact that he's so adamant that the mystery guy doesn't love him back. Remus doesn't seem to understand just how incredible he is. How much he can brighten someone's day. He's doing everything in his power to avoid telling this person, and it's really bloody confusing to Sirius.

Even Remus starts to second guess it, that evening.

Poppy has accepted that Sirius isn't leaving, and he's nodding off in the chair beside the bed when Remus' quiet voice pipes up.

"Hey, Padfoot? You awake?"

Sirius opens his eyes and lifts his head, offering Remus a smile through the increasing darkness.

"You okay?"

"I was just... is James right?" He asks quickly, eyes meeting Sirius' anxiously. "Is it worth telling him, even if it's just so it's off my chest before I get the roses removed?" Sirius shrugs.

"Yeah, I think so," He says honestly. Remus asked for his opinion, so that's what he's getting, even if it's slightly upsetting Sirius to say. "If he doesn't feel the same way, surely it's worth him knowing. You never know, and it won't mean anything if it goes wrong." Remus nods to himself, glancing down and, for a moment, Sirius thinks he's done with the conversation.

"What if it ruins our friendship?" He asks in a rush. "What if he can never let go of the fact that I literally almost died because I'm in love with him?"

"Then he can go fuck himself," Sirius answers bluntly, clearly throwing Remus.

"Sirius!"

"No, I mean it!" He's bloody frustrated now. "If this mystery guy is uncomfortable because of your feelings and an illness that you can't control, then fuck him! I can't imagine anyone not wanting to spend time with you, so if he really does care about you then he'll get the fuck over himself-"

"It's you, Sirius." Remus' voice is low, almost inaudible, but Sirius catches it. It actually stops him in his tracks, turning to face Remus as shock ripples through him. Remus keeps his eyes fixed firmly down, forcing the rest of his words out. "I'm in love with you. Have been for a while, actually. I know there's no world where you'd ever feel the same way, but I'm getting it sorted, so-"

"You love me?" Sirius asks breathlessly. Nothing feels real, thousands of questions racing in his head.

Mostly the fact that Remus' feelings aren't unrequited.

Sirius has been in love with Remus for years. At this point, it feels as normal as breathing. So how the fuck has Remus got Hanahaki Disease?

As Remus nods, face flushing a deep red, Madame Pomfrey's words come flying back to him.

"Romantic love that the patient believes to be unrequited," he whispers to himself, everything finally clicking.

"I'm really sorry Sirius, I never meant for it to- to do this, I just- I don't know. I'm really sorry," Remus is rambling, and Sirius just can't take it anymore.

With a new resolve and years of unexpressed feelings, Sirius stands, leans in and connects their lips. Only for half a second, pulling away to gauge Remus' reaction. His expression seems to match what Sirius' own must have been a few seconds before. Nothing but shock sitting there.

"...Remus? You okay?" Sirius asks gently, watching him carefully.

"You don't... you can't..." Remus can't quite get through the sentence, stifling a cough as Sirius decides to fill in the blanks for him.

"I love you, Moony. Christ, it feels like I've loved you forever." Remus opens his mouth to protest, but Sirius isn't done yet. Remus needs to know just how important he is. "If you need me to tell you that every single day for the rest of your life then I will. You mean everything to me." Carefully, he sits on the side of the bed and waits with bated breath.

He watches as Remus' eyes dart across his face, seemingly searching for an ounce of truth. Then, before Sirius has a change to register what's going on, Remus has pulled him back in, lips meeting in a much more urgent kiss.

Still, Sirius isn't complaining.

He lets one hand rest across Remus' cheek, the other finding one of his. For someone who is essentially on his deathbed, he's a bloody fervent kisser. Something in the back of Sirius' mind is reminding him that the only thing separating the two of them from the outside world is a curtain that could be pulled back at any time, but it doesn't really matter to him. All that matters is Remus in front of him, real and there and his.

After what could be a few minutes, could be an hour, they both break away, Remus scarily out of breath. Yeah, he's still unwell, they both kind of forgot. Still, it doesn't stop a smile making its way onto Remus' face.

"Okay, yeah, I believe you."

"I think it's safe to say that you're free to go, Remus!" Madame Pomfrey says brightly, sending relief through Sirius. Remus has done nothing but improve, but it's still amazing to hear Madame Pomfrey confirm it.

He turns to Remus, whose hand is in his, and shoots him a gentle smile. A fucking gorgeous blush makes its way across Remus' face, sending a jolt through his stomach.

God, he loves Remus.

Thank fuck he didn't get the flowers removed.

#is it obvious i'm sleep deprived rn #i saw the words hanahaki disease and went *bangs gavel* wolfstar #wolfstar #sirius black #wolfstar oneshot #marauders #remus lupin #remus x sirius #young marauders #moony x padfoot #atyd marauders #marauders oneshot

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nomiyakazehaya · 2 months

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sorry, kh brainrot really got to me, y'all 😔 very eepy and tired, hand and wrist ache

#⋘ 『 ─ noms' art; 』 ⋙#wip #please ignore my chicken scratch and very obvious signs of indecisiveness 🥲#why tfa megs?#the twin swords......#she could easily be a dual keyblade wielder #and because i said so #dual wielding is always cool af #still need to work on the keyblade design tho #took a lot of obvious inspiration from ultima weapon #also needs to be more bigger and longer but.....#i ran out of canvas space‚ or rather‚ i did not feel like expanding it #i really cannot decide between drippy modern fashion trends or black coat...#i feel like megs could absolutely rock the black coat look #never mind that i'm unable to decide between soft body or robo in clothes too 💀#i'm so sleep deprived #let me take my ass to sleep 😩

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youarentamaybeyoureayes · 9 months

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I'll never understand why people act like the first season of HSMTMTS is or should be deemed the best?

Don't get me wrong, it's totally fine to have a sense of nostalgia because you might recall season 1 being the first time you fell in love with the show or you're reminiscing about what drew you into it in the first place, but most arguments about season 1 never involve talking about any aspects of the show other than the fact that it ended with the R*ni love confession, and it makes it difficult for me to believe that there's any other reasons why you deem the season so superior to the others.

When you remove the nostalgia blinders, season 1 only gives a semblance of justice to a tiny amount of characters. Ricky and Nini get the most attention devoted to them, but whether it's because of the writing or simply the fact that she's the best actress on the show who's also capable of elevating any material that's given to her, it's Gina personally that stands out to me this season. Yet while it was airing, she was getting harassment from R*nis who were ignoring the obvious issues in their relationship to take all of their anger out on Gina. This would go on to happen for two more seasons.

Everyone other than Ricky, Nini, Gina, and maybe EJ, gets abandoned or shoehorned into things that age in a horrific way. I would argue that Kourtney's character suffers the most this season, and it was actually jarring seeing someone as vocally talented as Dara Reneé play a character that wasn't initially a singer. She wasn't even supposed to have a role on the show that lasted beyond two episodes, and yet she has one of the strongest, if not the strongest voice in the entire cast. For a show that was meant to revolve around theater kids, that alone was unrealistic and as a black woman, I can't ignore how colorism played a role in that. No one with a voice like that would have been given a supporting position if they were nonblack. Somehow the likes of M*tt C*rnett were given more solos on the show, and he is easily the worst male "vocalist" of the cast.

I won't even get into the fact that other than Gina, EJ was one of the most hated characters that season singlehandedly for getting in the way of R*ni, yet once the chances of R*ni making it to endgame status were getting increasingly lower, everyone decided that he was their favorite person and became P*rtwells. Not because they saw potential in anything (we all know one of the biggest plot points of season 1 was Rina getting closer, no matter how many people want to ignore it) but because they hated the idea of any character involved in R*ni being happy with someone who wasn't a part of their ship. Because I'm saving that for a later conversation.

The point is, like every season, season 1 had more flaws than most of the fandom wants to acknowledge, especially in the characterization of the ensemble cast, which was never the right move for a show that would not be as strong without their ensemble. Nostalgia as well as the plague of real life shipping has made people believe that this season was somehow unbeatable, when I would even argue that at the show's absolute worst in season 2 we would already see the improvements and corrections that season 1 failed to expand on. Such as giving underutilized characters like Kourtney and Carlos more depth by introducing their storylines with dealing with self doubt and acceptance.

I've always said that the episode that really made me stick with the show was episode 5 of season 1, and it isn't just because I'm an avid Rina. One of my favorite parts of the episode will always be the Born to Be Brave group number. Seeing Carlos start off dancing by himself and then Ashlyn going up to join him was one of the first moments of the show where I noticed just how strong the ensemble was and just how much heart they all brought to the show.

One love confession that didn't even manage to end up being the best love confession on the show is not what made the show what it is now. Delusional nostalgia is trying to tell you that despite other seasons allowing characters who were overdue in getting their own storylines finally have their moments to shine, nothing will ever amount to season 1 because of what you shipped. Season 1 didn't even deal with their deepest subjects. In retrospect, the entire season was essentially like a trial run. Even the first 4 episodes were written by a different show runner. The entire thing was an experiment. And while it was a good start and while I do understand why it's a season that's so loved, I just wish more people would unpack the reasons why they loved it and stopped dismissing the fact that there were seasons that did things better, even if your nostalgia is trying to tell you otherwise.

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felinelun · 1 year

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Doctors and word "sexy", because why not, it's 3 a.m. and I have to wake up at 7

First Doctor: Looks like someone who'd make others wash their mouth with soap if he hears them using the word ("Young Man! Yes, yes, you, mr. Chesterfield, what was that just now? How old are you, hm?! Well, you are clearly too young to use the word!"), but actually he'd be the one to call something "very sexy, very sexy indeed" at the most unexpected of all moments and then just run away with no explanation, chuckling mischievously.

Second Doctor: Completely forgot meaning of the word. Still used it anyway cluelessly. Until Jamie explained it to him one day. The Doctor listened and called Jamie "rather sexy, than", blushing slightly. And then proceeded to torture his recorder, playing "Twinkle twinkle little star" on it.

Third Doctor: Only the Six Doctor uses word "sexy" more frequent than him. Brigadier thinks he has no subordination and gives bad example to the stuff. But once he secretly smiles when the Doctor uses the word right in front of some high government official to describe the idea of a new nature preservation law.

Fourth Doctor: Finds blowing stuff up and fighting giant mutant rats very sexy. An example:

Doctor: Look at that rocket over there, Sarah Jane! Isn't it sexy?

Sarah Jane: Oh, it's very sexy, Doctor!

Doctor: Shame, it's full of highly dangerous weapons that will be banned on every civilised planet very soon in this century... So, I'm afraid, we'll have to blow it up until some of those solders gets into it and delivers those weapons on some innocent world! *proceeds to smile insanely*

Do not finds falling from big heights sexy. At all.

Fifth Doctor: Looks like someone who wouldn't now the word. Or who'd pretend not to... One day Tegan decided to explain it to him, just for the fun of it, but just ended up with Nyssa getting rather confused about life, universe and everything. Seeing the situation the Doctor paled a bit, than blushed a little, than started rambling something about lifespan of a Venusian infusoria and than intercepted the Master's TARDIS trace all of a sudden.

He blushed a little again.

Six(y) Doctor: Ah, Pery, just look at this sexy young man! So dashing, so outstanding!

Pery: Doctor. That's a mirror.

The Doctor: Exactly! Now, take a step away, don't obstruct me from admiering the defiance of sexyness itself!

Seventh Doctor: Finds manipulation, fighting lovecraftian horrors and killing hundreds to save millions sexy. And no, when the Master does it, it is called tyranny, world domination and genocide.

Eighth Doctor: Thinks the Universe is sexy. The feeling is not mutual.

War Doctor: Has more important things to worry about.

Ninth Doctor: Is not sure in anything anymore, but if there's something he can tell you certainly it's that daleks and PTSD are Not sexy At all.

Tenth Doctor: Looks like somebody who'd use the word 24/7, but actually said "sexy" only two times in his life and just to impress a companion.

Eleventh Doctor: Looks like somebody who'd use the word to call his car without completely understanding it. And is exactly that person, except one day Amy explained the word to him. Well, he proceeded to call his car "sexy", because what else!

Twelfth Doctor: At first used his sonic sunglasses because he thought they looked sexy. Than lost any way to see if anything is sexy at all. The sunglasses kinda lost their appeal afterwards.

Thirteenth Doctor: Thinks the Universe and repressing PTSD is sexy. The feeling is not mutual.

#Doctor Who #DW #Classical Doctor Who #New Doctor Who #DW memes #By the way #Shalka Doctor thinks getting drunk with his roboMaster is sexy and is not ashamed of that #And Ruth!Doctor finds that guns are rather sexy and is not ashamed of it either #And what about the Master?#Well the answer is rather obvious #Because all the genocide world domination and tyranny are just boring without the Doctor nearby in bounds or on their knees #I just listened Forty part 2 where the Master got himself his own auton Doctor and said and I quote #Oh the delights I will have with it #and than called that auton Doctor his toy and his pet #perfectly knowing by the time there's the real Doctor's consciousness in the thing and the's talking with the original you might say #So I just cannot stop laughing myself #oh it is more than 3 a.m. i'm gonna be so sleep deprived so very soon

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samethstarr · 10 months

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Bonus.

#I'm so sleep deprived #I noticed a rather glaring error in my last art upload #I stared at it thinking “this is wrong I know it is wrong but how is it wrong?”#I seriously need sleep #It was kinda obvious #big sigh

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73ghosts · 2 years

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I'm sorry for my shitty posts. I will do it again

#I'm like pretty sleep deprived if the incomprehensibility and frequency of my posts don't make that obvious

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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this week's gna be so hellish

#🌙.rambles #my. cramps will eb so much worse bcs i will have si much stress #how am i gna work on all these assignments w all this painnnn #i'm actually so shit w dealing w this sort of physical pain #i'm so dramatic oh god #i want a kiss. give me a hug #sobbing i hate how when i'm physically unwell #goddamn i'm sorry if i'm grumpy or dramatic T_T #but oh no i get clingy as well oh nooooo #i shld sleep soon bcs i'll really need that for tomorrow but #AAAHAHAHHFHFJSJDGMDM #maybe i shld go odl tmrrw. i'll probably die w the cramps n the sleep-deprivation #i swear in class i can't tell if i have neurodivergent tendencies or if it's just my sleep-deprivation n the constant stress #tbf no even when i was a kid #not too obvious i think but idk at all bcs apollo n i are good at masking stuff #so am i normal or not???????#can i just cry #the physical pain n the stress is already enough n #there's smth so. no. i will never open up about it but #i feel like crying this is fucking bullshit #why are all these songs jn this playlist #yk what maybe i'll just cry. maybe that'll take away some of the physical mental n emotional pain #it's so hot i feel like i'm in fucking hell #i want to write abt smth but i shld deny that desire for now #theres sm to write #my private notes aren't even nearly filled with all the secrets of my mind #i can't stop writing until. until i have it all somewhere #so i can remember #i hate and love the fallacy of the mind so much #i'm sorry

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imsosocold · 2 years

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I SWEAR TO GOD IF ONE AND MURATA DON'T GIVE HIM BACK TO ME I'LL SPEND MY ESCAPE FUNDS TO GO TO JAPAN AND RAID THEIR HOUSES!!!! NOBODY FUCK ME WITH, ONE OF MY SISTERS KNOWS BASIC JAPANESE AND KRAV MAGA/j

#I'll actually make serious posts about my feelings eventually but for now I'm memein #as an bully and abuse victim I have many thoughts #most not nice #but my thoughts are never nice #I swear reading this manga is an experience #I always think it can't get worse and it does #story of my life tbh #still doubt if it's actually real tbh #what's up with the obvious pentagram #flashbacking back to the occult tbh #My stomach has felt weird all day and I’m not sure if it’s nerves or too much caffeine or it’s from sleep deprivation but if I die make sur #opm #one punch man #opm critical #one punch man critical #opm webcomic spoilers #one punch man webcomic spoilers

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smiletimeisrunningout · 5 months

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@gccdstories x Baghra

"Now, now, I know you are happy I'm here," Emma stated despite the feeling that someone like Baghra wasn't too happy to have anyone there even when they visited to train. Much less someone like her after training hours. But Emma was determined and never deterred by the possibility of being hit with a stick. "I even come carrying gifts! Specifically, gifts you can drink. More specifically, liquor. The good kind, perks of being an esteemed guest or whatever. Do you have glasses, or shall we do it the Mysthaven way?"

She had been warned by the other Grisha that she may get herself killed spending too much time with the lady, but it was no matter. Emma had felt horribly uncomfortable showing her powers to her, and the only way she knew she could beat that sort of emotion was forcing herself to face it. Other emotions she could run from, but this was a good opportunity to be a better Grisha even if she had arrived late to the game. Plus, she was closer in age to Baghra than she was to people training there and far closer to her in everything than she was to the insufferable king and queen, who else could she go bother to learn more about how things actually went at Little Palace, or at Os Alta as a whole?

#gccdstories #v. grishaverse #I'm way too psyched about this but also I take no responsibility for obvious mistakes made while sleep deprived lol #no but seriously if there is ANY ISSUE let me know and if you want Baghra to hit her with the stick go for it #grisha teacher

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primofate · 2 months

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Confessions Series - Part 2: Description [Genshin Impact Male Characters]

In a nutshell: He asks if you have your eyes set on someone. You start describing HIS features and watch for his reaction. (Hint: He likes you too)

Other works in this series: (Part 1 - Overheard)

Warnings: The usual, haven't written in a while, please forgive mistakes, bit of angst in Diluc (couldn't help it), I am a sleep deprived mother, some profanity, for some reason did not feel like writing Zhongli though he's one of my faves.

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gaming, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Wriothesley, Xiao, gn!reader

Personal Favourites: Diluc, Wriothesley

Aether

"Yeah, I do," you start. "He's very selfless...He's always running around helping other people,"

Aether nods, intense gaze in his eyes while listening.

"Hmm...He has...a partner. Like a companion he always travels with..."

Aether's brows start to furrow and his head tilts the slightest bit. Paimon flying next to him has no clue who it is whatsoever.

"He's not originally from Teyvat...He's on a journey, you see..." this is where you start getting nervous

You see it click in Aether's head slowly, and his eyes start to widen the slightest bit

"Hey, that sounds an awful lot like you, traveller! Why have we never met this person before, Y/N?" Paimon asks and you only smile.

"P-Paimon," Aether glances at her and then back to you. It's silent for a moment. Paimon is super confused.

But Aether being Aether didn't want to get the wrong idea and racks up the courage to ask you one last question. "He's on a journey...to look for his twin sister?"

You smile the brightest smile you've ever given him. "Correct!"

"Ah...Well..." Aether starts to feel the heat on his cheeks. "That's..." he doesn't say anything else for a few seconds. "Don't get me wrong, I'm just...I'm happy!"

Is basically flustered when he realizes you've technically just confessed to him.

Albedo

"Simply put, I think he's dedicated to his craft," You shrug and smile

"...An admirable trait," he responds.

"He's frequently in Dragonspine. He spends a bit of time in his lab there," you decide to just go straight for the obvious.

Albedo pauses. "I...see..." Turns to you with a small smile "I wasn't aware that you were that fond of me,"

"Now you know," you simply say and try to play it off with a wave of your hand.

He chuckles under his breath and strides over to you while saying. "Well then, I suppose it's my turn to talk about the person I've set my eyes on,"

Proceeds to describe you accurately, down to your likes and dislikes. In his eyes, you seem like something so precious and you can't help but feel a bit embarrassed.

Alhaitham

"Hmm... Sort of," you explain. "He's a little...hard to reach,"

Alhaitham "...and you still pursue him?"

You laugh a bit "I'm hardly pursuing him, I'm just...observing. I like watching him, even though he has the most unreadable face I've seen,"

Alhaitham goes quiet for a moment. He catches on fast, he already has an idea but is cautious about what he says. "...I see," he doesn't ask anything else, but you continue to offer information.

"He likes reading. Really smart guy...but kind of no nonsense type. Very straight to the point," You begin to feel a little nervous so you pretend to read your own book with a small shrug.

The silence is deafening.

"I suspect that type of person will be hard to put up with," he suddenly says aloud and you chuckle in response.

"Possibly, but he seems to be putting up with me too...I guess?"

He suddenly closes his book and leans forward to pry the one in your hands away. He locks his gaze with you. "...'Putting up' is hardly the word I would use." his lips twitch the slightest bit before continuing. "He has little to no patience for other people...so if he keeps you around...perhaps it signals something else,"

"Something else...As in, I'm special?"

Again he quiets for a moment, before he stands up, chair scraping the floor. "...Precisely," he turns to start walking out of the library, waving a hand behind him. "I'll pick you up in the morning tomorrow,"

Ayato

"I do, but he's a very busy sort of man,"

Ayato "Is that so?" he pours tea for you.

"Quite. He's also a very important person,"

He hums and watches the billowing steam from the tea. "It sounds as if I might know this person," but he genuinely doesn't know it's him, he just thinks its another noble.

"...You most definitely know him. He has a sister. Lovely girl." This is where you avert your gaze from him in fear of him instantly connecting the dots.

He talks in pauses "A...sister..." His mind is starting to make connections but he can't be quite sure yet. So he prods further. "...Does she happen to have a vision?"

"A cryo vision holder, yes," you're biting the inside of your lip at this point. There's a moment of silence before you hear Ayato laughing rather gleefully, like he was amused by a story.

"I see." he ends with a chuckle. "I apologize for being so busy, Y/N," he smiles at you "I promise I'll do my best to arrange my priorities in order to spend more time with you,"

Baizhu

"He takes his job too seriously and can be quite reckless...Sometimes he even puts himself in danger,"

Changsheng catches on immediately. The snake had already known for a while. Baizhu was just being dense. "Oh here we go," the snake half whines.

Baizhu gives it a weird look before turning his attention back to you. "That does sound reckless,"

"I've told him a couple of times to think about himself too...but I guess he's just really passionate about his job,"

Baizhu sort of shrugs, "What IS his job?"

"...Well for starters he owns a pharmacy around town,"

To Baizhu the realization hits all too slowly. It's not that he was slow or dense, but he was having a hard time believing that it was him you were talking about, specially when you hadn't said it outfront.

"...You do realize I'm the only one who owns a pharmacy around town?" he asks, eyes piercing through you and awaiting your answer.

Changsheng is the one who answers for you. "Yes you ridiculous doctor, Y/N's pertaining to you!"

It's the first time you've seen him blush and he turns his head away when he does so. "I-I see, well...that's rather, unexpected...but not unwelcome,"

Clears his throat "Just give me a moment"

Changsheng would roll its eyes if it could.

Bennett

"Has a lot of energy...Sometimes I wonder where he gets all of it. I really like him for that though."

Deflates as soon as you start talking about your "crush". What kind of answer was he expecting anyway? That you had eyes for him?

"He has a bit of a...problem when it comes to luck," you continue

Bennett stops, you look at him and you can practically see the gears in his head starting to turn a little faster.

"Y-Y/N? Are you talking about..." then the gears suddenly stop. "Oh what am I saying, it can't be. Ahahaha! Let's go!" starts walking again as if nothing happened

Your jaw drops and you're forced to just DIRECTLY tell him you're talking about him.

"...Oh...Oh! F-For real?! Oh...Sorry... I just thought... there's no way! B-But, I'm really glad! Really!"

Chongyun

"Hmm...He's a little shy...but he's very responsible,"

Chongyun stares at you intently and nods as if taking notes.

"He doesn't like spicy stuff,"

Chongyun nods twice, eagerly.

"He's very dedicated in learning about thaumaturgy,"

Chongyun blanks out, brows furrow but still nods. Slowly.

"He's really good with a claymore too!"

Chongyun stops and stares at you, you see a hint of red gracing his cheeks "Y/N...You can't possibly be...talking about... m-m-m-"

Can't seem to say it, so you outright say that it is, in fact, him.

Combusts into a tomato red

Cyno

"How do I say this...He's a pretty strict guy." The two of you are playing Invokation TCG during this convo.

"Mmhmm..." Cyno is focused on his cards, frankly he doesn't give a craps ass who you're into. He didn't even know why he asked, he just dug himself a hole.

"...but he really only takes his work seriously. It's his job to be serious, I guess. I think that's what Matras need to do," he finished his turn and its yours now, though he's still studying his cards intently. Until you get to the Matra part.

"He's a Matra?" You rarely see a surprised face on Cyno so you focus your gaze on him. "Which one?" He further asks. Honestly he looks about to murder someone.

You blank out a bit at how intense his stare was, "Well...You know. That one, the one who's really into Invokation TCG,"

He immediately follows up without missing a beat "I don't know anyone else who's into--" then it clicks.

It was so damn silent for a good 10 seconds. You clear your throat, tear your eyes off him "Um, it's your turn,"

STILL doesn't budge until he finally goes back to his cards with a whisper, you can't really tell but he looks slightly bashful and you can barely, BARELY hear him "...If I win then we go on a date,"

"Okay, and if you lose?"

Cyno "...I'm not gunna lose,"

"See, I told you he's a really serious guy,"

Dainsleif

"I think he's a very dedicated person," you get lost in thought a little, thinking about him. "Whenever I look at him...Sometimes I feel as if there's a certain sadness in him... Perhaps he blames himself for not being able to protect his nation,"

He IMMEDIATELY knows. And he knows that you hurt for him too. How could he not?

"He searches for answers... I don't know for how long, I suppose a long, long time," you close your eyes, imagining how long he must have been wandering Teyvat.

You only open your eyes when you feel a hand brush against yours. He's looking straight at you, neither happy nor sad. "...You don't have to feel that way, for my circumstances,"

The brush against your hand disappears and reappears next to your cheek, his fingers gently resting on it "...Knowing that you feel that way, has taken away some of the burden that I shoulder,"

His gaze suddenly hardens and his voice drops to a whisper, "But please, just don't end up in the same way as everyone else,"

Diluc (I don't know why I end up writing a whole novel for this guy. I guess he's my OG favourite)

You pause for a moment, wondering how to describe Diluc. "...Sometimes... I feel as if I know a lot about him and yet... he's still far off in the distance,"

Diluc, rifling through paperwork, doesn't even look at you. "...That tells me nothing about him," there's a bit of bite in his statement.

You sigh a little, "I mean, simply said he's a hardworking man. He always has Mondstadt's best interests in mind...but he prefers to work alone,"

He's silent, but you can still hear the paper shuffling.

"....but people love him. They care for him. I suppose I understand why he keeps a distance but..." at this point you don't even realize that you're just rambling and staring into space. Sort of in a daze of thinking out loud. "...isn't it lonely? ...I suppose I shouldn't assume how he feels. Maybe he's fine with it...I just wonder how long till he sees us..." there's silence, no ruffle of papers, you're still just staring at the bookshelf and you continue in a monotone voice. "...or sees me,"

You blink, and all of a sudden its as if a magic spell is cast on you and you wake up to the reality that you've been rambling about him. You sit up straight "Oh," then turn to him with a careful smile. You don't think he knows what or who you're talking about anyway. "I better get going," you stand, "Jean must be waiting for me."

You leave, and he doesn't stop you.

You don't really think anything of it, feeling as if your whole monologue was very vague...but to your surprise he knocks at your door in the evening, there's a bit of rain falling.

"Diluc? You're drenche--"

"I see you,"

The determination in his voice lulls you to keep quiet and only stare up at him, wondering if he had more to say, but instead of saying something, he leans in, wrapping his arms around you and resting his forehead on your shoulder, as if he had been defeated.

You only welcome his embrace, and, for the first time in a long time. Diluc finally feels like he's home.

Gaming

"Passion!" You nod your head as you say it. "He knows what he wants to do and is incredibly dedicated to it!"

Gaming looks surprised, has no idea you're talking about him. "Huh! That's really cool!" He thinks he's the total opposite. "Wish I could be as dedicated as him."

You kind of laugh out loud and he raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. "What?"

"Gosh you really sell yourself short," you shake your head "Anyway, this guy, right, he kinda works two jobs," you put out your hand to count one and two "One, for the Secure Transport Agency and two, he's in a Wushou Troupe,"

Gaming instantly straightens his back and looks at you wide-eyed. You figure you had to be direct when it came to him otherwise he'd never get it with how modest he was.

"...You're...talking about...me?" You smile at him sympathetically.

"You know, Gaming, I wish you saw yourself the way others saw you. You're a great person,"

Big smile, but legit looks like he's about to cry. "Between the two of us? I think you're greater Y/N,"

Heizou

"...Honestly he's kind of a flirt," you raise your eyebrows at the fact and kind of question yourself why you like this kind of person. "Makes me wonder if he does that to everyone, you know?"

Heizou hums and puts his hand under his chin in a "thinking position"

"That's not enough evidence to go by. Perhaps we can investigate this guy together to see if he's worthy,"

You look at him, pursing your lips while musing and giving him a suspicious look. You're not sure if he's figured it out.

He's got no idea. I mean, it was a pretty general description. "Any distinguishing features?" he asks.

You look at him in a deadpan manner. "Red hair, I guess. And moles under his eyes,"

He looks back at you with a matching blank face.

Then breaks into a wide, close eyed grin. "I see! From experience, that person is truly trustworthy,"

You sigh a little, "Is he though?"

He chuckles heartily. "I promise you he is," offers you his hand with a genuine smile. "Let me show you,"

Itto

"Ummm... big, tall, strong looking guy. Intimidating at first look but he's actually a dork," you explain.

Itto crosses his arms above his chest with an unamused face. "Tch! No way! Ain't no one taller than me in Inazuma!" Then he looks smug again. "Anyway, keep goin'. What else?" Only asked you because he wants to see what your "type" is.

"...Popular? Nah... Infamous is the word, I think. He kinda gets into a lot of trouble,"

Itto raises a brow "You serious? Whaddyou want with someone like that?" as if he wasn't a troublemaker himself.

"I mean... He also loves life and somehow always sees the good side of things."

Itto "Eh... guess that's a good thing..." folds his arms behind his head and huffs.

This guy is never gunna get it so you drop more obvious hints. "He's an oni who has his own gang."

For a split second he looked like he was going to get it, and then... "WHAT?! There's another oni who wants to challenge the Arataki Gang?"

"That's not what I--"

punches his fist onto his palm "Lead the way Y/N, let me at 'em!"

"I'm talking about you!"

"Huh?"

"Itto, there's no other oni around town!" leave it to him to make you exasperated.

He quiets for a few seconds. "...But Y/N..."

You expectantly stare at him, curious what he was going to say about your confession.

"...Did you just call me a dork?"

Of course that's what he picks up on.

When he finally processes it though, he's stoked and on an all time high.

Kaeya

"...good at talking to people, and he knows it... Exudes charisma like he breathes air," You're saying this with a glare.

He chuckles and rests his head on his fist. "Why, pray tell, do you look angry when saying that?"

"Not angry..." you mumble under your breath, eyes trailing away from him. "Just... probably a lot of people like him,"

"And you don't like that?" He smirks. He totally knows.

"...No...Well...I'm okay with it... It's just... I think he's so much more than what he shows to others,"

That, he wasn't expecting. He actually feels genuinely touched.

"Sure he jokes around a lot...Is good at making people feel comfortable...but he's also kind...and you can always count on him," there's a faraway gaze in your eyes now, a small smile on your face. "To me, he's...a safe space."

Kaeya's smile drops. It looks like he's unhappy and you think that maybe you've made a mistake. Still...there's no way he knows that it's him, right? It was kinda vague...

You're about to stand and excuse yourself but he catches your wrist easily. "...You know..." he starts, meeting you eye to eye. He looks at you as if he's looking into your soul, his eyes the gentlest you've seen them.

"You make it so hard, not to fall deeper in love with you,"

Lyney (I have no idea how this ended up so dramatic)

"He isn't exactly a trickster...but he has a lot of tricks up his sleeve,"

Lyney "Oh?" Raises an eyebrow. Something kind of clicks in him, but he shakes it off. "The good kind or the bad kind?"

You stall a little, thinking of the answer, knowing that he's Fatui. "The...good...kind,"

"You don't sound very sure," he gives you a lopsided smile.

"It's complicated," you admit. "Regardless of the circumstances though, I think he's a great magician,"

You watch his face turn into surprise quite quickly, but he still looks and feels unsure of himself. "Oh, perhaps...I can learn a thing or two from him?"

Your smile turns forced and hard. He can't be serious? He STILL doesn't know, or...what?

"I...Well..." You don't know what to say next, but he seems to get the idea.

"Sorry, have I put you in a hard place? Ahaha..." Scratches the back of his head. "My apologies, I was just curious,"

This, for some reason, really puts you off and you feel as if you've been rejected, even though you technically had not outright told him that you're talking about him.

It seems silly for you to get upset, but you are. So you stand, and make a request of him. "Can we... just pretend this conversation didn't happen?" and you give him some sort of excuse that you need to run an errand or something, and you're off, leaving him feeling...guilty. But he doesn't know why. Or does he?

Lyney would look like the type of person who would be confident about himself. But, really, as a magician, he had to be 1000% sure about something before he went ahead with it, and so...that's where his doubt stemmed from.

Lynnette is really the one who knocks some sense into him. "...and you...let Y/N leave?" after hearing the story from him.

"Oh, Lyney... Regardless of what Y/N feels... For you, next to Freminet and I, is there someone else that you love dearly?"

That's how he ends up at your doorstep. Though you've seen his disappearing rose trick hundreds of times, he was the most sincere at that moment, when he says sorry that he didn't get the hint and to give him a chance.

Neuvillette

"Serious person. He seems to put his work first, above all else," you say. "I respect him a lot for that,"

Neuvillette is interested in what you say, but doesn't know at all that it's him. "He does sound quite respectable," he says while looking through some files.

"A long time ago he said that he feels like he's an outsider...but really I feel like there isn't anyone who knows Fontaine the way that he does,"

Neuvillette, moves the file he was reading downwards, just to look at you questioningly. "He's from Fontaine?" this was surprising to him.

"Well...he currently resides in Fontaine, yes," you nod.

"Ah," he answered curtly. "And I have never met him?" he asks.

"...He's very busy." you bite your lip, about to say something and you know that the next sentence is the point of no return. "He's the Iudex...so it's hard to catch him,"

You swear you can hear your heart hammering in your chest.

You see him put his files down and just stare at you with a sort of...unsure look.

His shoulders relax, he wasn't even aware he had been tense that whole time. "That... must have taken a lot of consideration and courage to say," he clears his throat.

You only nod your head slowly, moving your gaze away from him with an awkward smile. Hand absentmindedly grabbing a book and flipping through the pages...you had no idea what you were doing out of nervousness.

"I apologize...I'm unfamiliar with what to do in these kinds of situations... However," he pauses and seems to think carefully about what he was going to say next. "Please don't take it as a rejection. I'd be honored to navigate this with you, if you would so graciously have me,"

Scaramouche

"He's an asshole," you bite back a laugh.

He instantly knows.

"Actually he acts all tough only to give in to his inner-kind-of-agreeable-personality,"

He snorts

"What? Am I wrong?" you challenge him. You KNOW that he knows. The two of you have been hovering around each other for a while, and there's a certain closeness between the two of you. Though that line was never crossed.

He doesn't answer you back but prods you more. "Is that all? You like that he's an asshole? Are you some type of masochist?"

You almost laugh. "No, you moron. I'm saying he has a weird way of showing he cares. He's always biting my head about not being careful enough. But if he really didn't care he wouldn't be screaming at me, you know what I mean?"

Scaramouche grumbles something under his breath and crosses his arms, turning away from you.

"Say that again?" You ask, not hearing what he said.

"...I said, you're not as stupid as I thought you were," shrugs his concealed embarrassment off and turns back to you all nonchalant again. "Anyway, stop yapping and get going, we got things to do,"

Snatches your hand and starts pulling you to walk with him.

Tartaglia (I feel like this is ridiculously short but I also feel like Tartaglia would have known a LONG time ago if the two of you had the feels for each other)

"Oh man...Probably the most reckless man I know,"

Also knows. Instantly. But shuts his mouth just so he can listen to you talk about him, but it gets deep real quick.

"In my opinion he's a handsome guy. Real charming," you smirk the tiniest bit. "but I don't know if I can keep up with him, honestly. It's a little hard not knowing when he's going to come back...or if he's even gunna come back at all,"

You weren't going to hide the fact that you were scared shitless he didn't return from Fontaine for ages. You legitimately thought he had died.

Tartaglia stops you there, by suddenly cradling your cheek. "Y/N," he's wearing a pained expression. "I'm sorry,"

"Don't be, it's your job, right?" You reassure him, and shrug.

He sighs "Yes, but I'll promise this to you as I've promised my family," he smiles, the most confident smile you've seen on him. Even more confident than when he wields his blades. "I'll come back to you, I always will,"

Wriothesley

"Er... How do I say this... He kind of has some... big boss energy?"

"Oh?" he sips at his tea, glancing at you while he looks at today's paper. "So he's a bigshot?" he asks curiously.

"Somewhat, yes. Intimidating at first look, but...he just has a great sense of responsibility," you pick at the selection of cakes and cookies he has.

"Huh," he lets out in a quick huff. In the deepest, DEEPEST parts of his mind there is a NANOSECOND that he thinks its him but it gets erased so quickly he's not even sure that he had thought about it.

"Sounds like a good person... Any interesting, weird quirks?" he grins as he says this, yet again glancing at your expression.

Your lips tremble a bit at what you're about to say, because you're SURE he was going to get it once you say it. You gulp and feel the hairs at the back of your neck stand before you say out loud "He likes tea. I kind of wonder if it's an addiction," you can't meet his eyes.

He's looking at the paper he's reading but nothing.registers.in.his.brain.its.like.it.stopped.working.

You shift in the uncomfortable silence but he calmly folds up the newspaper and places it on his table. "...I'm inclined to ask, because it would be embarrassing if I got the wrong idea,"

"Mmhmm," you pop a cookie in your mouth to distract yourself.

"By any chance, are you...talking about me?"

"Mm," you nod your head, still not looking at him and glue your eyes on the cookies instead, out of embarrassment.

Suddenly chuckles. You brave a peek at him, now covering his eyes with a single hand, head tipped back to rest on his chair.

You're not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

"Sorry, no, it's just... I didn't think it would happen this way." Visibly takes in a big breath and sighs it out slowly. Seems to have regained his composure and is back to his confident self, smiling at you. "Thanks Y/N, I... don't think it's much of a secret that I enjoy your company too. I'm just a little embarrassed that you beat me to it...some big boss energy huh?"

Xiao

"...He takes on everything by himself. I worry about him," You look at the stars as you say this. Xiao doesn't say anything.

"But I'm glad that he's opening up a lot more now. It's great to see him among friends,"

Xiao has a feeling at this point, that its him you're talking about, but he still doesn't say anything and keeps his gaze in front of him rather than on you.

"Yes, the road in front of him is long but...he's also already come a long way," you sigh a little "The time of Rex Lapis has long gone, but he still sticks to his principles. I think his dedication is part of what I like about him,"

This is when he turns to you, blank look on his face, contemplating on what to do. When you turn to meet his gaze, its then that he decides to bridge the gap between the two of you, shoulder to shoulder, leaning in sideways to catch your lips in a chaste and rather shy kiss.

"You should give a bit of credit to yourself, for putting up with me all these years, Y/N,"

End!

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#genshin impact #genshin fluff #neuvillette x reader #wriothesley x reader #diluc x reader #alhaitham x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #gaming x reader #scaramouche x reader #itto x reader #aether x reader #cyno x reader #albedo x reader #ayato x reader

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summerroseart · 10 months

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Okay I will say that I'm a bit disappointed that it looks like Netflix released Sonic Prime 1B before it was done...

Like, the entire time my siblings and I were watching it, we could SEE it was cutting back and forth between finished (or nearly finished) scenes to suddenly watching as the lighting changed mid-sentence, or, as someone else pointed out, to things as obvious as characters missing their hair. I saw seaspray that was still in early stages, my brother noticed PNG explosions, sometimes the lipsync was visibly off-time, among other things I'm sure I was less observant of.

The first New Yoke episode seemed like the most polished out of all of them before it dropped off again, and we were hoping that they'd just put their budget into the later episodes, but it was just... SO obvious that they just didn't give the animation studios enough time to finish it.

Tbh they probably ALSO didn't know it was gonna be released so soon, because I've heard streaming services/production companies will do that. Hopefully they'll be given more time to work on the next season, but who knows.

#i am in no way blaming the animators for this. it keeps coming out how bad industry conditions are and I'm firmly in the #'id rather wait longer for a better completed product than be given unfinished scraps'#it was good! it was funny and charming! i genuinely loved watching it!#but even being inexperienced in 3d animation and sleep deprived it was obvious to me it wasn't done. idk.#sonic prime #Netflix

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matousakuraistrans · 1 year

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Early (like early 1980s and older) horny manga is the best honestly. While western comics were dealing with the comic book code or whatever, shit like Cutie Honey and whatever the hell the Princess Knight author's name was was cooking was coming out in the 1970s and 1980s, and there's earlier stuff than that too.

#manga #can't tell how obvious it is that i'm typing this while sleep deprived

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railingsofsorrow · 14 days

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we'll be alright

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: the one where it's the team's night out after a few long weeks of work and you're finally relaxing... not really. because you have a secret that's brewing your insides out.

pairing: s.reid x f!reader

w.c: 2.4K

warnings/content: mentions of pregnancy symptoms; sleep deprivation; alcohol; jj being a good friend; discussion about choices; fearing one's reaction; yk spencer reid the best (only) man on earth.

A/N: I planned this to be a small drabble... anyways, enjoy this blurb while I finish up a few requests.

navi

masterpost

cm masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“what are you doing?”

“chill, jj. I'm not drinking.”

you roll your eyes at the blonde casting you a suspicious look when she walks over. you don't know why she did it, to be honest. everyone seemed to be having fun over at the table, you just felt too uncomfortable and had to take a breath of fresh air outside. when you came back, you sat down by the counter, the bartender placed a red drink in front of you claiming it was from a guy across the bar. you didn't look, you didn't care. you push it aside with an eye roll and stick to the glass of soda you had previously ordered.

“are you okay?” her sympathetic voice is too much for you to bear right now, so you inhale sharply, actually thinking about downing that whole red drink in a go but you're one hundred percent sure certain jj would knock it off before it reaches your mouth. “sorry. I won't ask.”

“i'm just... confused.” you shrug, playing with the hem of the glass, tongue traveling over your lips. they are pretty dry, you can't remember the last time you drank water. “you don't have to keep an eye on me, jj. seriously, I'll be back in a second. I'm just... thinking.”

“have you told him?”

“no.”

her brows pull together. and before she can offer you her unwanted advice, you cut her off.

“don't tell me he has the right to know or anything like that. I know, okay? I know what I have to do, I know what I need to do. but I have a right to process everything on my own as well and I'm doing just fine doing that. for now.” you don't mean to snap, acknowledging the fact that jj means well, but you're tired of hearing obvious things about the situation and none of them did anything to help easing your nerves.

seems like people cared more about spencer's opinion on the matter rather than your own, when it is, in fact, a matter that you are carrying.

“i was gonna say take your time. you don't need to have it all figured out right this second.” you glance up at her, doubtful. jj gives your shoulder a squeeze and casts you a reassuring smile that almost sends you to jump in her arms to be coddled. “you're not on your own. I know it can be overwhelming, trust me, but you can talk to me anytime you want, okay? when you're ready.”

you smile for what felt like the first time in the night. relief swallowing down a bit of the nervousness rumbling through your chest.

“thanks, jayge,” you say.

jj gives you a wink. she leaves you alone after that and you enjoy a few minutes on your own when a familiar and welcoming touch trails down your back.

“you're quiet.” spencer eyes something above your head with hard eyes and his gaze immediately melts when it falls upon you.

“marking territory, doctor reid?” you tease, noticing the jealousy by his tells. his tries at being inconspicuous are foolish, but you like it.

he flushes red, clearing his throat and mumbling I don't know what you're talking about under his breath.

you hum, resting your chin against your palm as you look up at him. “i'm always quiet.”

“not like that.” spencer points out, tilting his head as his lips stretch into a soft smile. his gaze says I know you. you can't fool me. and he's 100% right, you can't. “is everything okay?” he questions, fingers grazing your upper arm in a way that it almost causes you close your eyes and give in to sleep right there. the truth is that you haven't been sleeping for three whole days. tossing and turning and feeding the nightmare in your head that all would go to shit. your relationship, you mean. the most solid thing you have going on for you, you'd screw that up. personally, you're a fan of facing the problem right away so you could get rid of it quickly. but this is neither a problem — not for you — nor you could fix it.

“i have something to tell you.” you swallow with difficulty. “but I- I don't know how.”

“okay.” he caresses your arm, brows knitting together in slight concern. “do you want to go home? is that okay for you?”

you sigh, hand traveling cross your face. “i don't want you to stop having fun because—”

“i wasn't having fun.” spencer is quick to cut you off albeit gently like he always is. “i was basically begging for you to call it a night so we could leave.”

a surprise laugh escapes out of you. you believe that.

“okay.” you nod, convinced. and a little less anxious to be honest. it's not like you'd say what you want to say in the middle of a crowded bar filled with drunk people. “yeah, we can, we can go home.”

“great.” he kisses your temple and waits for you to accompany him to your friend's table so you can bid your goodbyes. the first indication that something is off was your withdraw nature throughout the entire day. not that you weren't doing your job perfectly fine, you were. but your mind seemed to be elsewhere from the moment you stepped into the FBI headquarters to this very moment now. the second indication was when you said you'd get a drink and never came back. he found you by the bar with, in deed, a drink before you. then, he knew he had to say something.

“where are your keys?” spencer asks, adjusting the leather strap on his shoulder as you stride out of the pub. you lift the car keys between your fingers and he outreaches a hand towards it to which your eyebrows pull together in confusion. “you drank, didn't you?”

your face smoothes out in understanding, “no.” he regards you with uncertainty. “i didn't,” you repeat with an eyeroll. “i can't. I ordered that one but I didn't touch it. if you wanna drive though, be my guest.” he takes the keys in the first chance and you just chuckle softly, walking to the opposite side and entering the car. when you finally adjust yourself in the seat, you let out a long breath in relief. your feet are killing you as well as your head. not to mention the dizziness coming back and forth.

you don't open you eyes when something presses against your torso, you know it's spencer buckling up your seatbelt that you had forgotten.

“what did you mean by you can't drink?” the peaceful silence is broken by spencer's gentle tone. he'd look over at you every few minutes, trying to point out if the cause for your pale cheeks is the faint light of the car or something else. your eyes are shut but he knows you are not sleeping by the constant shifting in your seat.

“what?” you stumble on an answer and that's the best you are able to come up with.

“you said I can't.”

“you're correcting my misspellings now?”

spencer's eyes widen slightly. when the traffic light turns red, he quickly turns to you ready to apologise. but he sees your smirk and backs down, letting out a sigh.

“no,” he says, rolling his eyes. there is still something unsettling about your behavior, he can't point out what. sometimes it just happened, that feeling. he knew something was off without a single glance your way. the red light turned green before he can carry on speaking.

he does it anyway, though his eyes are stuck to the avenue and not on you as he plans to.

“are you okay?”

silence. and then,

“why do you ask?” your voice is soft, almost uncertain. you are hesitant and holding back. something is definitely wrong.

“you're withdrawal. you look tired and you didn't sleep well last night. I'm fairly sure you're a bit pale since this morning.” you're groaning beside him and spencer frowns. you finally arrive at your apartment and he takes a while to park before he turns the engine off. “are you sick? do you have the flu? migraines? cause we could have gone straight home tonight, you know that right? do you have a fev—”

“stop, spencer.” you mumble before his hands reach your forehead to check your temperature. you hate that he notices so much so fast. even though he's quiet about it, spencer is always paying attention. always. “it's not— I'm not sick. don't worry.”

“i'm still worrying.” he replies matter-of-fact, earning a scowl from you. he isn't phased. “should we go to the hospital?”

you huff like a five year old. “i just told you I'm not sick.”

“and I don't believe you.”

somehow, you wish he noticed more so you didn't had to say the truth out loud.

“i'm not sick.” your tone was sharp though you avoid it, it was just how it came out. you were sick of that subject.

spencer frowns. he stops himself before he could ask if you were sure of that statement.

“but I might get sick.” you utter under your breath, unsure about saying it out loud but you already did it. spencer turns to you after he takes off his shoes, a pet peeve of yours is that you hate dirty shoes around the apartment. there's always a few pairs of flipflops by the doorstep in case you have visitors. or they can just walk around in their socks, you had no problem with that, which is what spencer did. “... once in a while.”

“what is going on?” spencer approaches you slowly, his concern starting to create a thousand of theories inside his head. “really, I'm worried—”

“i'm pregnant.” you let out and release the breath you've been holding for what felt like hours. there. it's done. when you open your eyes, you don't look at him but walk straight in the direction of your room. spencer is hot on your heels. you just wanted to shower.

“what— you're— what do you mean?” his frantic voice almost makes you laugh if you weren't so tired with a headache brewing.

“i really need to take a long shower, spencer.”

“I—” he blinks, studying you for a moment before he swallows all of his questions and he sees. he sees what's going on and why your behaviour has been off these days. spencer's very observant, but sometimes he can let one or two hints wander off his radar. “okay.” he wants to hold you but he stays in his spot. if you want space, that's what he will give you. “do you need me to prepare you a bath?” he prays you say yes but you shake your head, entering the bathroom and shutting the door.

he lowers himself down on the edge of bed and stares at nothing as his thoughts swirls around the signs being thrown at his face the whole week. the morning sickness. not being able to stand the smell of any perfume. a sudden dizziness... fuck. how could he have been so clueless?

spencer admits he's always beeng good at physics and chemistry and statistics and he's constantly praised for picking up certain behaviours in his line of work, but he sucks at social cues and most of the times he misses the joke in a room or your sarcasm — though he's infinitely better at detecting that.

he takes pride in knowing you. your little quirks such as the way you press your lips together when you're uncomfortable or when you pick at your cuticles when something is on your mind during a case. he doesn't know how he didn't notice that. really, you spent most of your time together, both at work and outside of work. hell, spencer knows your period cycle. he makes sure to fill his pantry with your favourites sweet and sour snacks for that time of the month. it truly makes no sense how be could be so oblivious.

he knocks twice on the bedroom door, apprehensive and extremely careful. he's afraid by your latest reaction that you don't want him around.

it's actually the opposite.

“come in.” you're finishing getting dressed for the night. one of his old Caltech shirts slipping through your frame as he walks in slowly. you raise a brow in his direction, eyeing his figure standing by the doorway.

“i made you some peppermint tea. it's good for, hm, nausea.”

letting out a sigh at his hesitation, you lift a hand, silently asking him to come closer. “i'm not mad at you.” you clarify, breathing into his neck as he gently pulls you into his arms. “i was frustrated and tired and sore and sleepy. 'm sorry I was rude.” then, you chuckle awkwardly. “and sorry I dropped that bomb on you without a notice.”

he squeezes you, running a hand through your back. “don't be sorry. I understand.”

“are you mad?”

he pulls back a little, stunned that you even asked that. “what? why would I be mad?”

you shrug, meddling with the collar of his work attire he still hasn't taken off. “we didn't plan it. it's not ideal.”

spencer shakes his head, lifting your chin slightly to meet his gaze. “i don't care. I'm here for whatever you decide to do. there's no such thing as ideal.”

your mouth quirks up in the corners and you brush a honey brown curl behind his ear, fingertips trailing down his jaw.

“what?” he nudges your nose with his.

“i love you.” his grin is contagious and you can't help the laugh that bubbles out of you. you love him so much.

“and i love you.” you let out a shriek as he pulled you up in his arms, your feet being suspended from the ground. “hey,” he cups your cheeks lovingly. “we'll figure it out. together. alright?”

you nod, warmth flooding through your chest as you close your eyes and lean into his touch. “yeah, yeah, we will.” you mumble in the croak of your boyfriend's neck. “I love you.” you repeat just because you felt like it.

spencer mutters the same three words softly into the crown of your head. and you know everything will be alright.

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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie ; @ninkieminjaj

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