#is he projecting all of his self hatred onto her?

[plenaurum]

i have a question about suit saeran: what the hell was wrong with him? like what is his deal?

#does he hate mc bc of the power she has over him? #is he projecting all of his self hatred onto her? #like the whole time he was doing all of that ‘you’re a weakling and u exist to be my toy’ spiel #I was just like: sure alright but what brought this on #suit saeran #mm saeran #mystic messenger #like I know it’s bc of trauma but mainly I’m just confused on what he thought he was gaining by doing that #and who is ray? was ray created out of trauma or was saeran? #what is going on #like the whole time he’s insulting mc I’m just sitting there like ???????? #u and I both know that what you’re saying is just not true #like babe I wasn’t abused as a child like you were I’m not very affected by your obviously self-directed insults #so like. what are u expecting to gain here

[thebadtimewolf]

@lesbiandiegohargreeves and @allkinds-oftrash:

you. i see ur tags. u r right...

yall opened the gates a little and i gave you water damage, im sorry for this

and his prev. hatred of donna is glaringly so... byherchoiceofhusbandtwice and how mickey is treated and how the dr is mimicking rose’s behavior in a boisterous way in his 10th self because thats how she acted towards princess gabe of the cheem and how she openly cheated on mickey and THEN giving martha the ONE SEVENTH DR ADAPTION WHERE HE IS UGH AND THEN THE MASTER (who quite frankly is mimicking the dr mimicking rose’s 2006 microaggresive racism but the master cranks it up to 3000) TAKES 80 FEET FORWARD PERSONALLY ENSLAVING MARTHA’S FAMILY (take note that martha’s blonde and yt step mother that her father was with is notably excluded?? martha’s brother and his fam escaped but. where is she? hm.) AS THE HELP (though jack is there its more like jack is very much implied to be ‘this is what i would do to u joneses too bad ur not immortal. jack will have to do.’ vibes).

#tv: doctor who #bw: out of ethos #{i can make a whole breakdown of all three writers in three words: antiblackness misogyny and copaganda ish (vigilantismish)} #{the way he described donna was very ... yikesarooney and ms. tate dropped kicked him via being the fave by performance} #{really turned his implied intention into a self drag} #{also the companion after donna was named penny who was also black but 10 fell for her but SHE wasnt interested} #{and then she got scrapped as soon as tate was available for s4 with a lil nod to it by the reporter with the same 1st name} #{yet personality wise was claire 'u be health ill be safety' pope. sidebar: i. a g a i n WE WERE ROBBED} #{not every day i get 2 anti [insert societal racial issue here] dt that are also very goodlooking with a gag over their mouths. hm?} #{oh good aint out yet. my bad still the one} #{I DO LIKE THE FACT THAT NOW CHIBNALL LOOKED AT TEN AND SAID: u were poc in abusive adoptive household} #{cont. of course u have internalized self hatred that you project onto others if not your self and this is about livin beyond it}

[cloudywriting05]

dollhouse — coriolanus snow

“torture me to sleep, have your way with me.”

» part two of one of the girls, can be read after or alone.

word count: 2,965 words

warnings: borderline physical and verbal abuse [DDDE], blindfolding, p in v, hardcore smut, bdsm, rough sex, slapping, mdni

tags: @urfavnoirette < even helped with the plot ugh 🫶

“What? She fucked him?” The blonde boy asked.

“Trust me, I get it. It’s fucked up. I mean, Sejanus? And not me? We didn’t even believe him until we saw them talking, he definitely fell in that pussy, man.” Festus remarked as he stared at Coriolanus, the blonde boy gazing into the distance at nothing as he soaked in the information he was just told. "Before me too, it's fucking diabolical, dude."

It was true, you had sex with Sejanus. Coriolanus stood there, enraged. Were you, his girlfriend? No, you weren’t. Did he feel betrayed? Cheated? Yes, absolutely. The revelation had his chest tight, his temper soaring, his breath shaking. His girl touched a man, not just any man, the one he hated the most, Sejanus goddamn Plinth. The root of all his problems, self-doubts, and hatred. The boy with the perfect ending, a Capitol success story comes to life, a district boy who rose to the top with his family. Just the mention of his name had Coriolanus completely enraged. There’s nothing Coriolanus wanted more than to kill Sejanus, more than usual right now.

“Are you sure she did? I don’t care, just curious," he questioned, his attention now glued to Festus's lips, making sure he didn't mishear the information.

"Didn't you see them at assembly? They were totally giggling and touching each other, they're definitely fucking, man– plus, Sejanus said it himself, he's one lucky mother fucker, I'll tell you that."

Coriolanus tried calculating when and why you fucked Plinth, or what possessed you to. He knew of your friendship, but nothing else. He always despised when Sejanus would team up with you for projects, the idea of you two alone would kill him every time because he knew something like this would happen; and it did. He was right. Was it because he fucked Livia last weekend? What could possibly be the reason? He couldn't find a reason, but he found a very serious problem. In the blonde boy’s head, he could sleep with half the school, and you still weren't allowed to touch another guy. You were his when you played with toys in the sandbox in pre-k, and you are still to this day. It’s never been said explicitly, because to him it never had to be, he just expected you to know.

“That’s fucking disappointing, isn’t it?” Coriolanus remarked, anger brewed within him.

“I guess…? By the way, are you going to Arachne’s birthday tonight? Everyone is going and I don’t know what the fuck to wear. Exams are fucking me up, man.” Festus whined, rubbing his temples.

“Wear whatever, it’s not like it matters. See you tonight.” Coriolanus replied, walking away to his last period.

Coriolanus knocked on the front door of the overly large mansion, loud electronic music evading through the walls, red and pink lights flashing through the window, eliminating the grass in the front yard. He stood there for a moment until one of his peers opened the door, Clemensia.

“Coriolanus…” she cooed, throwing herself towards the boy into his arms.

He held her as her drink spilled down his side, rolling his eyes in disgust. “Get yourself together, are you alright?” 

“No, but you look good… I like your shirt,” she remarked, her finger tracing over the patterns as she leaned against him. She’s fucking insufferable, he thought to himself.

“Thanks, now get up, pretty.” He stated, lifting her onto her feet and turning her around.

With a firm grip on her shoulders, he guided Clemensia through the entrance of the house, closing the door behind him. The volume of chatter grew even louder, an interesting scene in the apparent living room where people were lounging around, kissing and hugging. Releasing his hold on Clemensia, she joined her peers in the room. The blonde boy proceeded down a lengthy hallway, exchanging brief smiles with classmates lining the walls, their conversations blending with the music. Reaching the end, he pushed through holographic streamers dangling from the ceiling and stepped into what resembled a second living room, where vibrant lights flashed, fruity alcohol lingered in the air, and the heat hit him stronger than expected.

He stood there, observing the people he’d been in class with a few hours earlier, now dancing relentlessly against each other under the pulsating music. The bright flashing lights washed over their bodies, while pairs, trios, and groups gathered around, indulging in drinks and cigarettes. Amidst the vibrant chaos, Festus caught his attention with an unfamiliar girl. Navigating through the crowd, Coriolanus reached the center, where he firmly grabbed Festus's shoulder, prompting a swift turn in response.

“Dude! You scared me! You’re here pretty late!” he yelled as he leaned in towards Coriolanus.

“Yeah! I know! Have you seen Sejanus?” Coriolanus yelled back, his body being pushed by people jumping and dancing around him. 

“Dude! Yeah! He’s on the dance floor with your girl, man! Look!” Festus’s arm extended and pointed towards you, lost in the music as you danced with Sejanus.

Coriolanus watched your body pressed against his as you winded your hips, Sejanus’s hands resting on both sides of you, pushing up against your back. He let out a sigh as you whispered something into Sejanus’s ear and led yourself out of the crowd. Coriolanus took the opportunity to pursue you, pushing through everyone. He followed you closely behind, watching your hands struggle as you turned the doorknob and entered the dark bedroom. Keeping his footsteps light he entered behind you, closing the door. He stood silently as you threw yourself onto the bed, letting out a loud groan as your chest hit the mattress.

“Nice dancing back there, whore.” Coriolanus remarked, sending you into a panic.

“Fuck! What the hell are you doing in here, you fucking psycho? How long were you standing there?” you shrieked as you glared at the boy in the corner, your heart pounding inside your chest as it rapidly raised up and down.

Coriolanus let out a dry laugh and sighed, “I knew you could be dirty; I just never knew you could be so fucking cheap, and easy.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Snow?”

“You fucked Sejanus— now give me one reason why I shouldn’t strangle you and shoot him,” Coriolanus spoke calmly, stepping towards you as you sat on the bed.

“Holy shit, you’re insane, Snow. Does it matter who I fuck? You slept with Liv on the weekend and my entire friend group over the summer, so kiss my ass.” you exclaimed, keeping your stance.

“You’re too pretty to be acting like this, doll. So, get some fucking self-respect and never go near him again.” Coriolanus suggested, his finger running down your cheek. 

You slapped his hand from your face as he stood in front of you, looking up at him. “But, why? You’re not my boyfriend, and contrary to your personal belief, you don’t fucking own me, Coriolanus.” 

“You said I did when I fucked you so good that you came back for seconds and thirds.”

“I hate to break it to you but, your personality is not as likable as your dick, Coryo. Now get the fuck out.”

“No, not until you apologize for having sex with the biggest bitch of Panem.” he protested, causing you to erupt into laughter. 

“Fuck, you really are crazy, Coriolanus... If you won’t get out, I will myself. Move.” you shot up from the bed, your chest grazing his as you pushed past him.

You stalked towards the door, Coriolanus grabbed your arm and pushed you, slamming your back into the wall. You cried out in pain. The boy stood an inch from you, his hands pinning yours against the wall. Your body was engulfed in complete fear, you were horrified.

“If you think for a second, I’m gonna let you go out and grind against that fucking bastard, you’re wrong. You’re staying here, I don’t care when the party ends,” he declared, his face centimeters from yours, your wild eyes staring at his.

“Coriolanus, let me the fuck go,” you spoke calmly.

“Why? Why are you acting like you don’t want this? I know you’re probably getting off to it because this is the type of shit your sick brain likes.” he sneered, adorning a vicious smirk.

You hated him. You hated him because you knew he was right. The heat between your legs, his breath against your neck, his grip on your hands. You wanted him so badly, and you hated that he knew it. “Why the fuck would I want you to touch me?”

He raised your hands above your head, keeping them first against the wall. He let his free hand travel down your side, his other hand clasping at your wrists, holding them in place. His hand wandered to your bare stomach, his fingers then wandering under your skirt. Drawing circles against your clothed pussy, the same pussy that was begging for his touch. “I can already fucking feel it, you’re wet. Such a whore, now tell me what you did with Sejanus.”

He spun you around, your chest slammed against the cold wall. His hands still clasping at your wrists which were now behind you, resting on the lower curve of your back. With the side of your cheek pressed against the wall, you breathed out. “I fucked Sejanus.”

“Say it again.”

“I fucked Sejanus Plinth and let him cum all over my face,” you admitted, your voice shaking. 

“Good girl for being honest for once, hm.” he sighed. 

He freed your hands, but they still found a way to stay put behind your back. The blonde boy raised his hand and landed it against your ass as hard as he possibly could, conjuring up all his strength to do it a second time. You shrieked in agony, as you bit your lip.

“You know, sluts like you should get worse, but I’m so fucking nice to you. So, fucking nice. You’re just so pretty it hurts to hurt you,” his hand traveled up to your chin, caressing it, then gripping it firmly, forcing your head to turn in his direction, “but your mouth, my love. Your fucking mouth gets you in trouble.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t care, doll. Give me the ribbon,” he tapped his finger against the ribbon around your left thigh, and you untied it, handing it to him shamelessly. “Get on your knees.”

You dropped to your knees, shuffling around to face Coriolanus. His pelvis hovered in front of your face; you peered up at him as he glared down at you. You could still make out his features by the bright lights flashing through the edge of the door frame. Your last look at the boy’s pretty face. He caressed your hair before tying the ribbon around your eyes firmly, and your breath hitched.

“Feel how hard I am, doll. Do what you do best, whore.” he remarked, grabbing your hand, and placing it against his achingly hard cock. 

Your hands scrambled to unzip it as fast as you could without your vision. The rush consumed you as you successfully unzipped his pants, sliding your hand inside his boxers, earning a groan from the blonde boy. You pulled his pants down slightly, completely freeing his hard cock. Your hands flailed in front of you until you found it, gripping it firmly. You let the tip of his cock into your salivating mouth. You spat on it mercilessly, stroking it with both your hands. You placed his top against the flat of your tongue, running it against it in circles. Coriolanus choked back moans, refusing to feed your ego. 

Your lips puckered around his tip, sucking on it, the pre cum now on your tongue. You began to take his dick into your throat, deeper with every head movement. You felt his cock slide in and out of your mouth, moving graciously against your tongue. Your hands moved to massage the base of his cock, alternating between his massaging his balls, and flowing the movement of your mouth. Coriolanus’s chest heaved as he moaned shamelessly, not caring about your ego anymore. 

His hand moved to grab a chunk of your hair, forcing his cock deeper into your throat as you mercilessly sucked his dick. Your head moved vivaciously as his cock thrusted in and out of your mouth. Coriolanus pulled his cock out of your frantically, not wanting to cum inside your mouth. He rested his tip against your open mouth. You sat there, tongue out and eager. He slapped the tip of his cock against your tongue a few times before stepping away. 

“Get up, pretty.” he purred, helping you off the floor and onto your feet. He began removing your clothes piece by piece, throwing them to the side without struggle, he’d done this before. 

You stood completely bare, blindfolded, solely relying on the same boy who swore he was going to kill you. Coriolanus led you towards your bed as you followed him blindly, silently instructing you to position yourself in the center of the bed, which you did without saying. He pried your legs open, revealing your glistening pussy. 

“Did Sejanus get you this wet?” he asked, you shook your head frantically in reply. “I know, darling, what a shame.”

He traced a finger towards your heat and then started running it through your folds, causing soft moans to escape from your lifts. His finger traveled up and down your wet folds, pressing against your clit with each movement. Coriolanus watched your body react as you arched your back towards him, he sat beside you, his hand between your legs, studying every bit of you. He moved two digits towards your entrance and pushed inside slightly, he watched your lips open to let out a staggered moan, your hair caught under the blindfold. His fingers went deeper within you a second time, causing you to gasp, and then the boy didn’t wait to pick up a rhythm.

His fingers slid in and out of you, your wet vagina aching, as its own lube, you began to moan out for the boy with your sight still completely covered. “Fuck, Snow.” 

“You like this, don’t you?” he asked, lowering his mouth to your nipple, lapping at it before you could answer.

His fingers still pumped in and out of you, “I do, you’re so good.” 

He raised himself to look at your face again, he figured you weren’t in the state he wanted you to be in. His pace began to pick up, but instead, he used the flat of his palm to rub and press on your slit. The friction catches you off guard. His palm slid up and against both your folds and clit, sliding back to push his fingers further into you. His pace sped up, your back arched itself so your hips raised towards his hand. He watched your facial expression change as he mercilessly fucked your pussy with his hand. “Wait, Coriolanus!”

“No, I won’t. Now shut up and take it like you took Plinth’s dick, whore.” he snapped, breathing against your neck as his hand fucked you. He tapped on your side and without saying you flipped over, knowing what he meant without him having to say a word.

He snatched the thick ribbon from your chest and slid it around your neck, the two ends of the ribbon in his grip as it pressed against your neck. Pushing his cock into you, he smiled. “Does that feel good?"

You nodded through your moans as his cock slid in and out of you. He yanked on the ribbon suddenly, thrusting your head back towards him. You struggled as he restricted you from breathing while he fucked you. You didn’t know how you could be so helpless with him, how you let him do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted but he got you regardless. Coriolanus’s cock thrusted into you mercilessly, watching your ass bouncing against him. The door creaked open causing the boy to snap his head.

Plinth stood in horror, not being able to register the scene in front of him. Sejanus stood with his mouth open, Coriolanus briefly stopped thrusting and glared back at him. A smile crept up on the blonde boy’s face as he picked his pace up again you moaned beneath him completely oblivious, Coriolanus still glaring at Sejanus who began to close the door. You smiled to yourself as his cock filled you with every movement, completely satisfied, in complete bliss.

“Plinth could never fuck you like I do, okay?” he remarked through his moans, his cock still plowing into you.

“I know, I’m, I’m so sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry. You’re just so good,” you cried out, his hand pulling on the ribbon this time forcing you to look back at him, “Do what you want to me, I’m gonna cum, please!”

He watched your body retract against his cock, shaking. You fell onto your chest, the boy continued to fuck you.

“You’re so pretty but so stupid,” he stated, his pace not slowing down, “don’t know how to keep your legs closed.” 

His free hand landed against your ass. “Now, you’re gonna sit here and swallow Daddy’s cum, okay?”

“Yes, I will, please.” He pulled his cock out of you as you turned around to face him, not hesitating to place his cock on the flat of your tongue.

You stroked it slowly, watching his eyes roll, “Fuck, you’re so eager for me,”

“Always.” you breathed against his cock, his cum spilling against your tongue, cheeks, and forehead. 

He fell onto his back, your eyebrows cocked upwards. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Mrs Capitol, tell me,” he replied as you lowered yourself next to him.

“I never fucked Sejanus.”

#young coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow #the hunger games #coriolanus x reader #ballads of songbirds and snakes #smut #coriolanus smut #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x oc #coriolanus x sejanus #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus x you

[not-the-droid]

Keep You Alive

The Mandalorian (Din Djarin) x Reader

Synopsis: He would burn down the entire galaxy to have you back in his arms.

Warnings: some pretty graphic descriptions of violence and injuries, reference to torture but not described in detail, description of blood, this is angst to the max

Word Count: 1.7k

Request: Hi hi hi. I’ve been needing a heavy angst to happy fluffy ending so badly. Maybe with Din x Y/N ?? Maybe reader gets taken or kidnapped and badly injured and he thinks she’s dead , but of course our fav tin can saves her just in time?? Idk. I wanna cry but also need fluff lolol - anon

The Mandalorian didn’t think he was capable of feeling such pure panic.

When he returned to the Razor’s Crest after a brief pit stop on some outer rim planet, he fully expected to be greeted by you scolding him for being out much longer than he’d promised. Instead, he was met with the metallic smell of blood and the cockpit completely destroyed.

The supplies he held dropped onto the ground in an instant as he called out your name as he searched the ship, praying to the Maker that he was dreaming or hallucinating or anything that would make what he feared had occurred not true.

But you didn’t respond.

Mando returned to the destroyed cockpit after a few more frantic calls of your name. He winced as he noticed a patch of blood, its dark crimson taunting him against the light gray of the Crest’s wall. The front glass was cracked from what he quickly recognized as a blaster shot.

Then he remembered the surveillance footage. In his panic, he had completely forgotten that the Crest had footage being collected at all times, just in case they ended up on some particularly nasty planet where they needed to keep an eye on their surroundings.

He quickly booted up the system on his control panel, his breath catching as a projection of the Crest’s interior from hours before floated in front of him.

His heart tightened in his chest as he watched you walk into the cockpit, peering out the window in search of something.

You. Mando told himself, self-loathing tearing at his soul. She’s checking to see if you’re coming back.

The expression on your face changes, backing away from the window, placing yourself strategically out of view. Mando could hear the loud banging on the Crest’s entrance, watching helplessly as the invader flung it open with ease.

Mando cursed himself for not locking it properly, for being too distracted by wanting to quickly get the supplies and back on the ship.

The intruder stepped into the cockpit, pacing around the room with his blaster at the ready.

“Come out, Mandalorian!” The intruder called, his voice dripping with hatred.

Mando searched the footage for where you were, finally spotting you ducked under the control panel, a small knife gripped between your fingers.

The intruder pointed his blaster toward the window, just above where you were hidden.

The tang of blood filled Mando’s mouth as he bit down on his cheek harshly as the blaster went off, hearing your involuntary gasp at the sudden blast right above you.

Rage flooded Mando’s body as the intruder cocked his head to the side, walking over to where you hid.

“What do we have here?” The intruder asked, his dirty fingers wrapping around your arm to drag you up toward him. “Didn’t know the Mandalorian had himself a little friend.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You spat, hiding the knife behind your back with your free hand.

Mando ground his teeth as the intruder pressed his blaster to your temple. “Now there’s no need for us to get nasty with each other. I’m here for the Mandalorian.”

“He’s not here.” You replied, looking the intruder directly in the eyes, head held high despite the blaster pressed against it. “You’ll have to come back later if you want to talk to him.”

The intruder scoffed. “Oh no, I don’t think there’ll be much talking. No, I’m going to murder your Mandalorian just like he did to my friend.”

Mando watched as your fingers gripped the knife tightly. The intruder let his grip on your arm loosen a bit, allowing you to strike.

The intruder let out a sharp cry of pain as you sliced through the skin of his cheek, leaving a dripping red gash behind as you bolted toward the exit.

Your fingers brushed against the door for a half second before the intruder regained his composure, grabbing you from behind and sending you slamming into the opposite wall.

A mixture of rage and heartache tugged at Mando’s chest at the whimper of pain that escaped you, your fingers touching the wound on the back of your head. Blood covered your fingers as when you pulled them away from your injury.

“You’re gonna pay for that little trick.” The intruder said, pulling you up harshly. He pressed his blaster against your temple once more, his fingers hovering over the trigger. “Now, where is he?”

Mando felt helpless as he watched the projection, wanting desperately to reach out to you. To bash the intruder's head against the cold, hard metal of the Crest before wrapping you safely in his embrace.

The intruder's expression changed after a moment, a sick smile pulling at his lips as he watched you close your eyes, prepared to die before giving up Mando’s whereabouts.

“How about we play a little game with your Mandalorian? Let's see how good of a hunter he is.” The intruder taunted, running his fingers over the skin of your cheek.

Mando shut the protection off, unable to watch as the intruder gagged you with a dirty piece of cloth he ripped from your shirt before dragging you off of the Razor’s Crest.

His gloved fingers shook as he touched the patch of nearly dried blood against the wall. Mando felt his heart pound against his skull, slamming his fist into the cold metal, leaving a deep dent where your blood had stained. A constant reminder to himself that he was the cause of what had happened to you. That he hadn’t been there to stop it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took three days for him to track down where you were being kept.

Three days that the Mandalorian didn't sleep. Three days that he had to force himself to eat and drink for the sole purpose that he would need his strength to return you safely to his arms.

It was the uncertainty that destroyed him. Not knowing if you were alive almost drove him over the edge.

No, he had to believe you were alive. Any other thought made him want to scream until his throat bled. He had given up on crying. That wouldn't rescue you.

Besides, he didn't think he had any tears left.

When he finally arrived at where you were being held, he went into a frenzy the second he heard the heart-wrenching sound of your screams beyond the door. Mando doesn't remember the details. All he knows is that when he arrives at the source of the sound, he won't have to worry about taking anyone down on the way out.

You've gone silent by the time he kicks down the door, dropping to his knees in front of you.

Bruises littered your face and neck, your eyes closed tightly as a bit of blood fell from a seemingly fresh cut on your temple.

He whispered your name, gently wiping the gash with his thumb. Your eyes didn't open, his name falling from your lips sadly.

It finally clicked after a few moments why you weren't responding to him, his heart shattering as he undid your restraints.

You thought you were imagining him. He didn't want to wonder about how many times you had thought he had come to relieve you of your pain, only to realize he wasn't there at all.

“I’m here, (Y/N). I will get you out of here but I need you to open your eyes.” He pleaded, needing to know that you heard him. That you knew he was here.

After a few more pleas, you did as you were told, a tear falling down your cheek as you finally realized he was real.

“Din.” You mumbled, attempting to stand and latch onto him.

“No, I'll carry you. Just hold on.” He replied, gently lifting you securely into his arms.

The intruder stepped into the room, pulling out his blaster the moment he spotted Din.

Din turned his back toward the intruder, shielding you as the blaster fire bounced off the beskar covering his skin. He placed you gently on the ground, your back propped against the wall, before turning toward the intruder, his blaster at the ready.

Light filled the room as Din fired, hitting the intruder square in the chest.

Hatred filled Din’s expression as he walked toward the man, who had fallen to the ground with a loud thud. He watched the intruder’s chest heave up and down, the life draining from his eyes.

“Looks like you have to be a lot quicker than that,” Din said, venom dripping from every word.

The corner of the intruder’s lips cocked up slightly as he looked jst beyond the Mandalorian. The intruder managed to fire one final shot.

Din turned around.

Blood seeped from your side, your hand coming up to cover the wound.

A primal scream left the Mandalorian as he ran toward you, lifting you back up into his arms. He had to get you to a medic. He had to keep you alive.

The sprint to the Razor’s Crest was a blur, his hand pressed atop yours on your side as he carried you. There had to be medics on this planet. There had to be.

“You're gonna be ok.” He repeated as he hovered around the planet in search of a village. A city. Anything.

A small collection of buildings caught his eye, just ahead. He glanced behind him to where you lay, seemingly asleep as your chest rose and fell worryingly slow.

He had to keep you alive.

A few locals approached as he landed. He couldn't speak. All he could do was carry you to them, hoping they would understand as he showed them your still bleeding would.

You were carried off into one of the buildings, Din being blocked from entering. He didn't fight. If they could keep you alive, he would wait in a sandstorm.

It was dark when one of the medics emerged.

“We've managed to stop the bleeding. You're very lucky you arrived when you did.” They explained.

Din fell to his knees. It must have been confusing for the medic, seeing a Mandalorian with his helmet in his hands muttering a string of broken thanks. Din didn't care. You were alive.

He finally composes himself enough to go inside, sighing in relief as he saw you sleeping soundly. Din closed the door behind him, making sure it was locked securely before shedding his helmet and armor.

He slipped into the bed beside you, making sure to stay on the opposite side of your injury. He placed his hand on your chest, your heart beating steadily.

Alive. Din promised himself he was going to make sure you stayed that way. No matter what he had to do.

#the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #star wars fanfiction

[hauntdoesthings]

let's talk about: Husk

Husk is a character that I see a lot of love for, but not a lot of discussion about, at least not the same way we talk about Angel Dust or Alastor, so I'd like to start the conversation since I've noticed certain details about him during a rewatch.

How He Socializes

Husk puts it best himself; "Everybody likes to bitch to the bartender." He knows more about everyone than anyone else, whether they tell him or not. Not only is he the one people turn to vent to at their lowest, he has incredible skill at reading others. It's most likely something he picked up as a gambler, but we can see he still utilizes it to read the other residents, like knowing Angel shouldn't be getting drunk after his long shift and realizing when he's masking right afterwards.

On the other hand, reading people like this doesn't seem to fit with his character in earlier episodes. In the first episodes, Husk makes it very clear he doesn't want to at the hotel and by extension doesn't want to be around the residents. His first line is literally about how he's forced to be there and pretty much all of his screen time is spent being anywhere from unfriendly to outright aggressive towards the rest of the cast. He surely doesn't care enough to read people to get closer to them, so why does he? I believe it's either a subconscious behavior or possibly as a defensive measure. Like in a poker game, he reads his "opponents" to stay ahead of them while keeping his own cards close to his chest.

It's already clear Husk values his boundaries when watching his earlier interactions with Angel, but this combined with other behaviors makes me think he's a very defensive person in general. His body language is constantly closed off, often crossing his arms or physically being separated from others behind the bar. This could just be indicative of his surly personality, but there is a specific behavior makes me think more of it. During my rewatch for this post, I realized Husk has a tendency to hug himself during certain moments of discomfort, like the entire first trust exercise in episode 3(more on that later), and during his first argument with Angel in episode 4, he actually shields himself with his wings when AD insults him before leaving.

Speaking of, episode 4 is really a great example of how Husk view others, especially since this is when his mindset finally shifts.

It's easy to see how dismissive Husk is of AD during this episode, with his constant reiterations of how "fake" he is and even saying that he'll be fine after running out despite knowing that he's had a hard night. Looking a little closer at his mannerisms though, it's clear that he cares more than he wants to let on. He insults the scripts and setting of AD's video rather than his acting and even says that that's specifically what Angel tends to complain about. Even when Valentino sudden calls up AD, Husk's face is more upset than "I told ya so." He realizes that Angel is unhappy with his work, but at the same time, he doesn't think too deeply about it.

Husk assumes that because everyone tends to spills their guts to him while drinking, he knows all he needs to about them, and he's correct to a certain degree; however, despite everything he knows, he doesn't appear to think too deeply beyond what he can easily glean. Charlie wants to help others so she doesn't have to help herself, Vaggie projects her self-hatred and high standards onto those around her, and Angel bullshits his way through everything because he's an actor who doesn't know how to be real. Husk realizes these things easily, but not why the others are this way, and it especially shows during his confrontation with AD, as when Angel finally snaps and reveals his true motives, Husk is visually taken aback.

He's so used to knowing and analyzing people easily that this sudden, truly heartfelt moment from Angel makes him rethink how he's been going about their interactions, how he's been thinking of him this whole time. And this is the moment that makes him decide to open up about his own past. Whether it was seeing that common thread between himself and Angel or possibly a realization that he won't accept help from someone who doesn't offer any input of their own, this is the first time we really see him offer any of his private, personal life, and afterwards, there's an obvious shift in how he treats Angel and everyone else.

"Loser Baby" is the first time we see Husk willingly initiate physical contact onscreen when he's always be visibly tense and uncomfortable at even most mentions of it, though most of that was AD being suggestive so it could be an issue with sexual intimacy than physical. He's comfortable enough in episode 6 to go clubbing with the group and genuinely looks like he's enjoying himself, especially compared to when he went to keep an eye on Angel in episode 4, even helping look out for Niffty when needed and supporting Angel after standing up to Valentino. In the lead-up to the Extermination, there's not a single insinuation that he would've left the hotel, choice or not, and he is with the rest of the cast during all the important moments of the battle, from Sir Pentious' death to the ending number. Even when Alastor is presumed dead, even if he assumed Alastor wasn't really gone, Husk could've easily run off during his absence, but he sticks around to help rebuild, undeniably of his volition, wanting to help his friends and possible family.

That note also brings me to something I've really been wanting to talk about:

Husk and Alastor

Unless we see a shift or get new knowledge about Nifty, Alastor and Husk have a really unique relationship both in theory and as evidenced. Husk is a former Overlord, presumably from before Alastor's rise if he was willing to bet his soul in a game with him. This opens up a lot of questions for me, mainly about what their bet entailed, what led Husk to making it in the first place, and if there's a certain respect between them. Yes, Alastor refers to Husk as his "pet," but Husk also comes to him with his suspicions about Mimsy and it can almost be read as worry. Alastor even responds that "it's nothing [he] can't handle." There has to be a certain level of trust for someone to bring up "hey, that friend you've known for decades only ever comes to you when they need something" and have their concerns taken seriously, even if Alastor's care for others is negligible at best. This whole scene seems to be showing that despite their deal, their past as equals has not been totally forgotten by either of them, leading to a certain understanding of each other that neither, particularly Alastor, have had with anyone else up until now.

The biggest reason I bring their relationship up though is Alastor's deal. With all we've seen, I believe Husk is the one character besides Alastor himself and whoever the other party is that knows about the deal and its possible connection to Alastor's disappearance.

For one, Husk is the one that confirms Alastor is "on a leash" in the first place, and he shows no surprise that Husk knows. Alastor is definitely not the kind of person to let anyone know about something like that no matter how close they are, so this makes me think either Husk had to know or that he was possibly there during the deal.

It also stands out to me the specific phrasing that Husk and Alastor use during the scene.

"You've been gone a long time, and it's not like anybody knows why." "They don't need to know!"

This kind of phrasing makes it feel like Husk is specifically being excluded from that group by both himself and Alastor. If it's true that Alastor's deal is the reason he disappeared, then Husk knowing about both the deal and why Alastor's been gone lines up perfectly. Maybe Husk will be the one to reveal more about this to the audience or even the rest of the cast later on, but it's clear that he does know more than anyone not directly involved and at this moment is the most likely to talk about it, assuming Alastor doesn't immediately tear him a new one for it.

Little Details

Last section, I promise. This is just some little details I noticed while rewatching for this that didn't really fit in anywhere else and questions/speculation about them.

Remember how I mentioned Husk hugging himself earlier? The first time I noticed this was during episode 3 when, after seeing the stage, he declares "I'm not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps." Not sure how much of everyone's backstory is still canon, but it was stated that Husk was a magician during his life, so maybe this is hinting that he has some stage-related baggage?

Also during episode 3, we see Husk sneak down the stairs before Vaggie can toss him off the roof in the warzone, and since he didn't come back up with Angel and Pentious, he presumably left before they made it out. However, at the end of the episode, he's laughing with everyone over the events of it. He comments that SP can "take a beating like a champ" and "you did ok, new kid," so was he just pretending like he was there or did he just hang out on the sidelines and watch? Husk wtf?

Husk specifically says that AD's video is "not a very convincing interrogation scene." Does Husk have experience?

When the bartender pours drinks for the gangster getting Angel a refill, Husk immediately watches the drinks themselves, before the guy even reaches for that little bottle. He's a bartender, he's probably seen too many people have their drinks fucked with to the point it's just an instinct now.

He was ready to square tf up when Valentino hit Angel, but waited until Angel walked away instead of jumping in like in episode 4. He really does trust him to take care of himself and was ready to back up whatever he did.

During "The Show Must Go On," it's minor, but Husk actually tucks his wings around the group hug and it's aasfjkdsajfd

For those who've made it this far, thank you so much for listening to my overthinking and ramblings. Please feel free to ask about anything incoherent, add on to anything, or point out things I missed, I'd just really love to get the discussion started on some of these things!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #husker #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel analysis #hazbin hotel theory #also thinking about doing one of these for vox esp since he's supposed to be a major antagonist next season #but all that rewatching may lead to me getting very sick of my husband sooo(i say as tho i'm not fixated like he is on radio man) #holy shit haunt posts twice in one week(this is a rare occasion please do not expect things of me i will cry)/j

[dr-duckie]

soooo has anyone thought of a mdzs x svsss transmigration au with shen jiu and meng yao?

i’m not going into detail over their similarities but most people get the idea— brothels, yqy/lxc, spite, villainous antagonists that didn’t deserve what they were put through as a child, late start in cultivation, cunning personality, etc etc

yea.

let me start: shen jiu, one day, is gifted a high quality book set from one of his brothel jiejies when visiting them. at first, shen jiu had no plans to legitimately read them (mostly due to a lack of leisure time), but he eventually got to reading it when he was on a qian cao-mandated break after a qi deviation.

he gets hooked. when SJ is nearing the end of the novel, his thoughts are as followed: JGS deserved to get castrated and his limbs thrown to the endless abyss— WWX, although he was absolutely shameless, he was at least competent— LWJ was a fool for being so in love, but he was moral and loyal— and lan xichen…

an ache forms in shen jiu’s heart whenever he thinks about him. lxc, a man with a gentle, pacifistic, amiable personality who believed in what was right all the way until the end. he wholeheartedly supported and trusted his sworn brother, jin guangyao, until he couldn’t anymore.

shen jiu was touched. lan xichen, that man, had wasted all his efforts on an irredeemable monster. in a similar fashion, yue qingyuan was doing the same.

as for meng yao… shen jiu resented him. he had a loving mother, one who worked so hard for his happiness, only to squander all her efforts. meng yao… had what shen jiu envied the most in the newest disciple he just brought in. luo binghe. imo, it would be a clear sign of shen jiu’s self hatred projected onto meng yao. he sees the two of them as the hopeless scum of society, too broken to be loved. they were “charity cases” that couldn’t be fixed, no matter what.

soon after shen jiu finishes the novel, he falls into a qi deviation (the very same one that shen yuan transmigrated into) and dies. through some time space dimension jumping, shen jiu lands into the body of one 14 yo meng yao. and that’s just the beginning of his story.

shen jiu starts out by practicing cultivation in secret. meng yao’s body, although he is no prodigy, would definitely benefit from practicing from a younger age. then he gets to planning. with how shen jiu is, he would not step a foot in the karp tower, with a system or not. like, just no. i believe he’d set JGS on fire if he ever had to see the guy. the only plot point shen jiu intends on fulfilling is saving lan xichen, and then living a comfortable life away from the jianghu.

but within a year of living with meng shi in the brothel, shen jiu grows attached to her. he *wants* to make her proud, even if he wasn’t her real son. he was a total impostor. but even so, he didn’t want her legacy to be tainted by the actions of jin guangyao— who was now still meng yao, who is now shen jiu. but he doesn’t want to go to the jin sect. after an arduous process of actual communication with someone for a long time, meng shi realizes that the jin sect wouldn’t be good for her son, and jin guangshan wouldn’t help her *or* meng yao. the night before meng shi dies, she tells shen jiu that she loves him, regardless of whether he may fulfill her dreams.

aaaand, after that, shen jiu buries meng shi. he makes enough money as an artist (in secret, with his skillset from qing jing) to give her the proper burial rites. after that, he runs away. shen jiu finds a job as an assistant to an artist who sold fans and paintings in caiyi town. through his job, he meets NHS first, when he’s on his first year of being st the cloud recesses. surprisingly, shen jiu and nie huaisang have a friendship that… isn’t too bad. shen jiu is amiable, shows off the different fans he’s painted, and nie huaisang eagerly buys all of them. nie huaisang also buys out shen jiu’s other works, like his poetry and short stories. that day, with shen jiu’s qiankun pouch full, he treats himself to tanghulu.

the second encounter with nie huaisang brought along jiang cheng and wei wuxian. at that point in time, they were investigating the waterborne abyss problem. shen jiu, a year older now, shows nie huaisang his “new” invention: the war fan. wei wuxian is absolutely delighted at the new invention, and jiang cheng, although less excited that WWX, is considerably impressed as well. as for NHS, well, words can’t describe his happiness. shen jiu, on a whim, gifts it to him for free— mockingly thanking NHS for being such a generous patron. nie huaisang, unable to contain his excitement anymore, jumps on shen jiu and embraces him dramatically. this causes such a commotion, lan wangji comes over. with his brother.

(okay, i’m done writing for today.)

#mdzs #svsss #shen jiu #meng yao #shen qingqiu #jin guangyao #qijiu #xiyao #what if

[melonteee]

About Sanji being feral with men/older men, I remember reading once in a fanfic how an OC or SI (I can't remember which ^^; ) suggested that the reason why Sanji is nice to women and rude to men is because of his family. That at a young age he formed the mindset that women tended to be good people while men tend to be bad people because when he was young only women (his mom and to an extent his sister) were the only ones to treat him with kindness while the men in his life (his brothers and father) treated him like shit.

That kind of makes sense and I can no longer unsee it.

I'm so sorry this got so long because I have so much to say about Sanji and his perception of gender so read under the cut LMAO

Anon the SECOND his WCI story was revealed, that was the literal first thing I noticed. As always, Oda has an incredible show don't tell ability - and while it is implied (and maybe Oda didn't have the intention), there's certainly an idea that Sanji puts women on a pedestal due to how men abused him.

But considering Reiju helped Sanji, and how there were maids around Sanji who were also kind to him, along with his own mother, I'd say it's extremely intentional. Reiju also isn't exactly the nicest person either, like she's presented as a total grey area. It's not that Reiju was kind to Sanji just because she was a 'nurturing' big sister, but because she was the only one who didn't have her emotions literally programmed out of her. Reiju still gave Sanji a tough time, and still didn't help him unless it was behind Judge's back, but she still showed him more kindness than Sanji's father or brothers EVER did.

While there's an obvious misogyny in Sanji, and it IS undeniable, it certainly slides much further up on the misandry scale. When he was first brought into the world, the only people nice to him were women. His first memories and first acts of care and love came from women. He was allowed to cry around his mother, he was allowed to let his guard down around Reiju, and he was allowed to be his 'emotional' self with the women that surrounded him. It is undeniable Sanji has elevated women up to a being higher than men, and much higher than his OWN existence. This has all mixed and formed inside him due to his time with the Vinsmokes AND his time with Zeff.

After all, combine Sanji's first and only real acts of affection coming from JUST women, with Zeff's ideology that women are NOT to be harmed, of course you're going to create a boy who idolises women as this holy deity.

Not to go a bit off track, but it's why this idea that Sanji HATES himself, and why he has ZERO self worth, is ALSO something people tie to his gender. Does Sanji take pride in being a 'manly man', or does he think that's what he needs to be for women? Does Sanji compensate his hate for his own self by being this extremely overdone, heteronormative gentleman? By projecting his love onto beings he believes he can never be nor measure up to?

When of course, these 'beings' are just women. Just people, like himself.

The discussions surrounding Sanji and gender, combined with his abusive male environment and this clear confusion/hatred for men, is WHY there are many who have picked up this idea Sanji perhaps does not want to BE a man. It can be called a stretch, or wishful thinking, but it's something people within the queer community have seen nonetheless.

After all, we have SEEN Sanji's happiness upon being perceived as a woman - TWICE.

Sanji quite literally has a deadname he refuses to be referred to as.

And now, with his current mutation happening, he is becoming afraid of - and displaced IN - his own body.

Sanji is such a weird and complicated character to fathom, honestly. It could VERY well be these were all things Oda just accidentally tripped and banged head first into, but WCI as a whole had a pretty big focus on not JUST familial roles, but expectations and roles of GENDER as well.

Katakuri's need to be stern and emotionless as an older brother, Pudding's abuse due to the fact she wasn't 'pretty' enough, Big Mum's daughters being married off unless they proved they can serve some OTHER purpose, Sanji's brothers forcefully cold and emotionless, Reiju needing to bottle her own emotions with fear of being bullied, SANJI'S bullying due to being an emotional boy, Judge HIMSELF being made fun of for his crying.

Combined all with Reiju telling Sanji "You're a boy, don't cry!"

WCI was fucking RIDDLED with gender discussion and gender expectation that comes with blood family, but this idea is pushed to the side due to the themes of familial abuse being the most prominent. Yet a BASE of familial abuse IS expectations of gender roles that comes WITH a nuclear family.

As much as people don't want to see it or CAN'T see it, Sanji's character and arc includes areas of toxic gender norms JUST as much as it covers blood family abuse. It's just something that's taken to an extreme in this hyper fiction setting, and thus, it can become invisible beneath the surface. But I see it! And obviously, you see it too anon!

Sorry for the rant I am just VERY passionate about Sanji's complicated relationship with gender LMAO

#ask #melonask #Sanji #SORRY AGAIN LMAO

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Piece of Paper (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer and Reader discuss Autism evaluations.

Request: reader tells spencer "i think im autistic" and he’s like "wait you've never been evaluated/diagnosed??" and he helps her advocate for an evaluation or some other kind of support? A/N: I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted, Anon, but this is the experience I would like to share as a person who was diagnosed as a toddler 🫶 Couple: Spencer Reid/GN!Reader Category: Comfort/Fluff Content Warning: Autism assessment/Anti-Autistic mentions, implied abuse/gaslighting, minor self-hatred, internalized ableism Word Count: 1k

MASTERLIST

The bullpen was as quiet as it ever was. The bustling crowds had passed through and returned to the comfort of their home. All that remained were those with deadlines, no date life, or neurodivergent tendencies.

You peeked across the desk to notice how Spencer’s hyper-focus had finally faded, leaving him now spinning in his chair while he stared at the ceiling.

“Hey, Spencer?” you called, “Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”

His chair came to a halt.

“Sure, but I’m not sure if I’ll have a satisfying answer,” he chuckled.

You floundered for a moment, struggling to come up with an appropriate way to ask your question. Yet, when you did finally speak, you were anything but eloquent.

“What was it like when you were diagnosed with Autism?”

“Oh!” he said excitedly, “I’ve actually never been assessed.”

Immediately, your face began to burn, and your stomach churned with the realization you’d just made a number of possibly rude assumptions.

“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry—“

“I’m not offended,” he reassured you with a smile, “I agree with your assessment.”

You smiled at the wordplay, but the intensity of his gaze drove your eyes back to the mess of paperwork on your desk.

“Can I ask why?” you asked.

Spencer didn’t seem to mind at all that you stared at the desk instead of him. He offered his explanation with his normal enthusiasm.

“My mom wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of psychiatrists.”

Understandable. Neither were you.

“Plus,” he trailed off. You turned to find him staring at the ceiling again. He rocked the chair back and forth as he said somewhat solemnly, “the world isn’t particularly fond of Autistic people.”

The words felt like a blow to your chest. Like your heart had turned to stone or something unbearably cold.

“Ah,” you sigh. You brought a hand to your face to try to hide the disappointment.

Spencer, still looking above you both, didn’t even notice the shift in tone.

“Why do you ask?”

“Nothing,” you replied, “It’s nothing, it’s stupid.”

Even he couldn’t miss the sadness in your voice, though. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, you heard the realization hit him with a gasp.

“Were you planning on scheduling an assessment?”

“I was considering it, but… I don’t know if I should.”

There were a lot of reasons why that was the case — self doubt, fear of the unknown, chronic gaslighting — but you didn’t want to go into all of that. Instead, you chose to sympathize with the plight he’d already shared with you.

“Because you’re right, other people are… not very receptive to the diagnosis.”

Some more than the rest.

Spencer paused for a second, even though you knew he wanted to say something. For a moment, he wrestled with the right words and the right tone to prevent his anger from projecting onto the wrong person.

“Would you be doing it for them?” he asked, “The other people?”

It seemed like a silly question… one you’d never really stopped to ask yourself.

“What do you mean?”

That time, when Spencer started speaking, you couldn’t find it in you to stop him. You stayed silent because you knew he was offering you his unfiltered thoughts on something personal to him. 

“I mean… why do you want someone else to tell you? I don’t want to talk you out of something that would bring you peace of mind, but I would encourage you to ask yourself if that’s really the reason you’re doing it, because that piece of paper can make a lot of things much harder for you. Immigration, medical decision making, adoption, child rearing, hell, even your job… that target on your back will impact aspects of your life that you’ve probably never even considered it would.”

You sat there, soaking in the hopelessness of the moment. You begged your heart to slow down, but it continued racing along with your thoughts.

Ultimately, there was nothing left to be said but, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Did I upset you?”

There was a subtle regret in his voice, but you knew it had needed to be said. That bluntness, that unfiltered honesty had been exactly why you’d asked him.

So, you managed a smile as you thanked him the best way you knew how; by telling him the truth. 

“No, I appreciate your honesty.”

He responded with his own.

“Okay. I’m still sorry, though.”

“Thanks,” you said, although you’d meant ‘Me too.’ 

Spencer didn’t respond. Instead, he turned and scrambled to find a blank sheet among his notebooks. At first, you thought nothing of it. But once you heard him scribble something onto a piece of paper that was immediately ripped from its place, you turned to him.

His eyes remained fixed on the note he’d just written while he spoke.

“At the end of the day, no matter how badly we want to believe things will change… the people who don’t believe you now… they won’t believe a piece of paper, either,” he said.

Then, standing from his chair, Spencer closed the space between you, note in hand. He clutched it tightly between his fingers that were held against his chest.

“But if it helps, I believe you.”

Tears sprung from your eyes so quickly that you weren’t sure what to do with them. You decided to let them sit there, to soak in the saltwater reminder that you were not nearly as inhuman as the others made you seem. And when Spencer held out his hand to offer you the lifeline on lined paper, you took it.

He smiled.

“A doctor’s note, in case you ever need it.”

Spencer returned to his desk without another word. You set the piece of paper down and decided that, when you were ready, you would see what he’d had to say.

Then, when you were ready, you would find the handwritten message: 

“You are the only expert of your life. You already know the answer.”

(Tell me what you thought about this piece here!)

Please also consider reblogging and/or commenting on fics you enjoy to help keep the fandom alive!

Looking for more fics with an Autistic!Reader? Check out my Rec List here!

P.S. Did you know Tumblr might be hiding some of my posts from you? Learn how to change this setting here so you can enjoy my more scandalous works (if you want), including my most recent one, which can be found here.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid comfort #spencer reid fluff #dr spencer reid #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #autistic spencer reid #autistic reader #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid criminal minds #autistic fanfic #autistic fanfiction

[fuzziemutt]

On Miguel and Motivations Behind his Behaviors Towards Miles

An analysis point I haven't seen much around (<- says the man who never looks in the tag) is the idea that Miguel was trying to be the very thing Miles could blame when (in Mig's eyes) he's unable to save his father.

Miguel's main motivation for his actions across the board are in his most iconic line:

"I don’t always like what I have to do, but I know I'm going to have to be the one to do it."

This line is very defining for him because it's reflected on how Miguel shoulders the responsibilities of the Spiderverse and any unsavory actions it might have to take for whatever reason. He alone makes the decision, the action so "no one else will have to" feel that guilt*.

*which I should note. Comic book Miguel is very much noted to have severe guilt with being S-man ("No, with great responsibility, comes great guilt!") but constantly states "he has to do it because who will?". Being S-man isn't a freeing thing for him... It's an obligation, a way for him to "atone for his sins" (from the man with severe Catholic trauma).

However, his need to be the one to "make the hardline decisions" out of guilt isn't the only influencer in his actions towards Miles.

Because another important note about comic Miguel is his biggest trait in all his relationships: he is the scapegoat.

From his mother, to his father(s), to his ex-girlfriend, ex-fiance, and even his brother himself. Miguel is always a means for people to escape blame. He is always a means to place responsibility to "fix it" because only /Miguel/ can fix it* for them (wow his oldest sibling disorder is showing).

*Gabriel, his brother, is seen multiple times demanding Miguel to "fix" the situations he finds himself in such as getting his girlfriend out of jail as Miguel "owes it to him" for working with Alchemax.

--

Furthermore, Miguel is seen having /quiet/ anger responses towards how others treat him; i.e. when Dana, his then-fiance, comes to him after talking to Tyler Stone, (later known: his bio father) who is untrustworthy and whom also Dana is cheating on Mig with (this fact is unknown to Mig at the time too), Mig is notably upset yet never raises his voice, he keeps his anger to himself and quiet.

This allows others to easily project onto him- Dana then projects her own view of what Miguel must be feeling in the next panel (which- she is often severely incorrect in her assessments as stated by Miguel himself in several instances of self-reflection)

And thus, Miguel has every intention to allow himself to be the scapegoat for others as long as he lives. Especially one Miles Morales.

Because Miguel is not happy preventing Miles from saving his father, he almost cries about it, he /wants/ to comfort Miles the whole time. He doesn't like what he has to do.

But Miguel has come this far (ensuring everyone's safety) and he can't let Miles make the same mistakes he made. Because to Miguel, he tried to alter his story and tried to fight what he didn't even know what would become the canon theory.

Yes, there are circumstances, there could be exceptions*, there's a possibility everything will be alright but Miguel /does not/ know this. He didn't know about canon theory or what would happen to Gabby then. All he knows now is that he flew too close to the sun and killed billions of people, and now, he doesn't want to allow Miles to "play god" and find himself with no home. It's "better" to be safe than sorry as he'd say <- through gritted teeth and tears.

*Whether the canon theory is true or not is not really important in this reading. The theory is just meant as a metaphor for whole vs one, risk vs caution, and the suffocation of fear-

-

So Miguel does what he doesn't want the others to do. He plays the scapegoat, the guy you can put all your anger towards, the thing you can blame when it just doesn't work how you want it to, and focus all your hatred on instead of yourself.

He doesn't order any of the others to throw the containment field at Miles (they didn't even know he was going to), he doesn't order the others to talk about the canon theory (also because he's reminding himself about why he's asking a kid to let his father die and to remind everyone of Mig's own faults- takes the blame as the sole destroyer of worlds despite us knowing Gabby's dimension isn't the only one that's collapsed thus far and strictly by Miguel's hands), he even leads majority of the apprehension of Miles himself.

Hell, he even lets himself be the scapegoat for why Gwen and Peter B don't visit Miles. We don't know enough about that conversation to say how much Miguel said "no, don't see him" but he sure isn't trying to fight* any possible allegations of how that conversation went either via clarifying /what/ it was he said.

Lastly, Miguel's control issues really appear in these interactions even, in this choice. Because, Miguel is taking on the choice for others because he thinks he can control others' grief if he just "does it 'right' for them", and that's just not /possible/.

You can't choose the how and when for others, you can't "fix this" for them, you can't make sure no one ever gets hurt because you'd rather someone scream at you for stopping them or taking the choice from them, than for them to experience something that's an inherent part of life and mature and grow from it.

To receive that "just punishment" that you're always seemingly striving for because you care so deeply about everyone and everything yet can't comprehend that others might care for you as well.

You can't keep suffocating others in your own fear, Miguel.

"And all this time, /I've/ been the only one holding it all together."

Yeah, Miguel has severe issues, he's projecting onto this kid, he majorly fucked up this interaction, but I feel Miguel's insistence on placing any and /all/ blame onto himself is a very vital piece of his character that we shouldn't ignore especially in analysis.

+ Another note of Comic Miguel's character: Miguel is very prone to allowing anyone to say literally anything to him. He's called horrendous things and he /never/ denies these things. He never tries to make anyone believe otherwise because Miguel agrees with them-

-Yes, he's Gabriel's slimeball brother who's arrogant and egotistical and a jackass and impossible to work with and a terrible, no-good son. Because no one has ever said one nice thing to Miguel O'Hara. They've only praised Spider-man.

#i speak #spiderverse #atsv #miguel o'hara #spiderman: across the spiderverse #Miguel O'Hara analysis

[mizi-sua]

the latest comic has to be my favorite one yet. i was begging for ivansua crumbs and got a feast. they knew!! they knew of each other‘s dark sides!!!

ivan is obviously projecting onto sua HARD and it's not the first time we see him criticize her way of doing things.

the other time was when he told her that they both know the effort she puts in getting good grades is "meaningless" which already implied that he saw through her intentions all along, because why bother studying if she wanted to die for mizi to begin with?

I think the reason ivan is so cruel to sua specifically besides his self hatred/him seeing himself in her is envy. the major difference between him and sua is that what ivan and till have will never be on par with what mizi and sua have, so even if ivan were to sacrifice himself now, he'd be closer to ending up as "mere trauma" to till than sua to mizi. sua is mizi's universe, her god and vice versa so her "miserable" and "pitiful" actions will bear so much more meaning than his' since till doesn't see ivan as such. (i also think what ivan said to sua was only half correct cause while sua's death has been extremely traumatic for mizi i'm convinced it is that what will drive her to keep going and it'll be shown in the future.)

anyways to make matters worse, ivan has already risked it all for till and him to escape together once which didn't work out. it might explain why he absolutely detests the idea of sua's self sacrifice. it is selfish and leaves the other person scarred, you’re essentially dumping your burdens on them and running away from responsibility. ivan knows and says this but he's considered it before as well which makes him look hypocritical. so he vents his own frustrations out on sua who's- according to him- just as twisted. but he’s probably much more twisted than she is because at the end sua didn’t even grace him with an answer. as observant as she is, she has never once thought about being similar to him.

#their dynamic is everything #ivan was so mean tho #imagine minding ur business and some guy starts psychoanalyzing u out of nowhere. girl #also finally the direct confirmation that sua DID sacrifice herself im going insane #dumping all this here cause twt character limit is killing me #alien stage #alien stage sua #alien stage ivan #alnst

[artheresy]

No but I don’t think anyone understands how deeply I need to witness Blade identity crisis content like, the focus on identity usually with the HCQ and the struggles usually centers around Dan Heng because of course! We get the content in canon touched upon, expanding on it with your own view is so much fun and I want to do it myself at some point.

But the potential of Blade? And exploring his fucked relationship with his identity and with Yingxing? MWAH, delicious, and not done enough compared to something I do see a bit whenever the topic comes up which no hate to anyone for but I have my own opinions on it

Like, shit Blade has HUGE issues with dehumanizing himself as a result of Jingliu’s teaching in which she projected her own self dehumanization onto him and taught him to turn his body into a weapon and remember the feeling of death. He doesn’t view himself as being a person, he is nothing more than a sword for slaying, a weapon whose path is soaked in the blood of both his victims and himself. And UGH listen, I’ve already ranted about this so many times that y’all are probably tired of hearing me talk about it.. it truly is one of my favorite topics, the disconnection between Yingxing and Blade that does exist in canon to certain extent. Though he takes on the weight of his sin as his own and his duty to repay it (and make sure Dan Heng repays it too), the ways in which he doesn’t connect to Yingxing in other matters is used in such a tragic way when you peel back the layers upon layers that can relate to the simplest things. Like fucking hell, not to mention it again but the use of craftsmanship between the two of them is heartbreaking as crafting represents not only what he happened to do as apart of the HCQ and in the end his legacy, but how it is used as a representation of his passion that Blade does not share, how it represents the revenge that dominated his life as Yingxing built on the pain and trauma of losing his entire family and home while still such a young child which Blade probably doesn’t even fully remember anymore let alone connect with. I swear, that hurts, it hurts me every time I think about it.

I also just have a lot of my own headcanons that I firmly don’t think are canon, but are things I instead sprinkle in like finishing salt into my wounds to make myself even more sad. Like thinking about Blade in a way constantly being in mourning, not solely for Baiheng, but genuinely in mourning for Yingxing as well. Although he used to be Yingxing, that man is still dead and gone and never coming back, never in a way that will actually be Yingxing. So I like to imagine he mourns for him as well. Not just his death but mourns the severed connection between them. The passions he cannot submerge himself in, the pure dedication he cannot fathom, the love and happiness he cannot even begin to imagine the feeling of. Or at least not the warmth of them, he only feels the bitter shards of those feelings left within him, making his hatred all the more agonizing and deep set.

Hm… I wonder how we’re going to see Blade progress as the story keeps going on. I do truly hope we get more of an exploration of this. I need to see what happens to him. I need to see how his mindset ends up evolving or instead of evolving, the sheer amount of shit it ends up getting him into. God do I love this man, sorry that my love manifests in needing to see him suffering. It just comes with the territory

#maybe I’ll get more into my confusion about it one day #but not today! im tired and planning to finally finish a bigger post ive been taking ages on hopefully this weekend #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr blade #yingxing #ramble post #might delete later #idk #im tired

[lyranova]

hello !!

may i request nozel, fuegoleon, and yami with a plus size lover who’s insecure about her looks!! >\\\< aka me rjdjseksdn

(currently on anon but i’ll def interact with you later uwu)

Hiya anon! Of course you can, I hope you enjoy these! It’s only my second time writing for a Plus Size reader but I still hope you enjoy it 🥰! No worries no worries just take your time and feel free to interact with me on your account whenever you feel like it 🥺💕! I used to be an anon too so I totally get it, just take your time 🥰!

———

Fuegoleon:

• Fue would absolutely *love* your curves! They were just so perfect and pretty and were just…completely *you*! He would compliment you every day about how amazing and beautiful he thought you were.

• He would compliment you in anything and everything you wore, and would give his honest opinion when you’d ask for it. But he would always encourage you to wear whatever you wanted!

• If anyone were to cut you a look or make a rude remark to you about your weight or what you were wearing he would firmly put them in their place.

• He would remind them that they were speaking to the Captain’s lover and that whatever they said to you they were also saying to him. He would also ask that the reflect on themselves, and that they needed to look inward before they judged.

• If you were having a bad day or needed to get away he would gladly bring Salamander out and the two of you would fly to wherever you wanted. All he ever wanted in life was to make you happy.

Nozel:

• Would also love your curves! He would tell you how beautiful you were and that he never wants you to change, unless you wanted to. He is a very loving and supportive S/O!

• If you asked him about an outfit or piece of clothing he would give you his honest opinion. He prefers it if you wear more “fitted” clothes since he can show off and boast about how beautiful you and your body are, but if you were to prefer more oversized clothes he would definitely support it and tell you that you look beautiful in anything!

• If someone were to be mean/rude to you he wouldn’t let it go. Period. He would point out that only a few centuries ago plus sized people were thought and revered as the most beautiful people in the world, and that most nobles/royals were plus sized. So before being rude and making dumb remarks they needed to look at themselves in the mirror and see if they were only projecting their own self-hatred onto you.

• In order to cheer you up he would make an eagle out of his mercury and would take you wherever you wanted. He hated it when people upset you and threatened to have them jailed, but you talked him out of it.

• He would take you to your favorite place and just spoil you. He gets you the best food, clothing, whatever you want! You deserved to be treated well and with love! Why? Because you were a beautiful person inside and out!

Yami:

• Would, again, just love your curves! He was a guy who liked for his lover to have a little meat on their bones. It meant they ate enough and that there was more of you for him to love!

• If you ever asked him his opinion on clothes or outfits he would give his Yami opinion. Which just meant that he’d tell you honestly if an outfit looked good or bad on you. Like Nozel he loved it when you wore more fitted clothes, but if you were uncomfortable with that then he would prefer it if you wore something else. Your happiness and comfort was of the utmost importance to Yami!

• If someone were to say something rude or mean to you? Oof they’d better watch out! Yami would grab them by the top of their head and would use his intimidating presence to put fear into them. He would tell them that the really “ugly” person was them and that they needed to learn how to respect others if they wanted to be respected. He would just go off on them!

• In order to make you feel better Yami would let you buy whatever you wanted at the restaurant! He would use all his money to buy all the food, drinks, and desserts in the restaurant just to stick it to the rude guy!

• He would apologize for getting carried away and for not knocking some more sense into the rude guy. But you would tell him it was fine and that you appreciate him standing up for you. He would give you a big hug and kiss before taking you back home!

#asks #anon🌟 #black clover #black clover headcanons #black clover hcs #black clover x you #black clover x y/n #black clover x reader #yami sukehiro #sukehiro yami #fuegoleon vermillion #nozel silva

[my-hyperfixation-hell]

anyone else notice Jingliu was considerably gentle with Yanqing considering her training methods with Blade? (1.2 spoilers for late players)

first thing i need to say here is gentle is a very RELATIVE term. we're comparing her methods with Yanqing to literally (cw for canontypical violence here) fatally wounding Blade over and over again, knowing his immortality wouldn't let him actually die, just suffer, and taking into consideration the fact that she is Marastruck, hindering her ability to behave rationally. We're talking "gentle" for someone like that.

Her initial challenge to him is to kill more enemies, not to actually fight each other. when she DID fight him. her reasoning (or so she says) was because if she let him fight Blade, Blade would kill him, and there is a pretty big chance imo that would've happened if Kafka hadn't stepped in, and if he hadn't been preoccupied with Dan Heng, especially considering despite knowing he's outclassed, Yanqing refused to yield to either Jingliu or Dan Heng and Blade, Jingliu just disappeared on him and Kafka stepped in. Instead, she gives him the option to fight her instead, stating that she'll kill him with mercy, but it seems like she's giving him a choice, especially because she doesn't attack until Yanqing steps forward and accepts. She even praises his courage, and I may just not be detecting the tone properly, but it sounded like genuine approval to me.

Which leaves the question; would she have let Yanqing go if he backed down from fighting her, and stopped pursuing Blade?

In the end, she does get what she wants from him, some records. But she also leaves him alive, even saying her final move was "a token of her appreciation."

Yanqing himself seems surprised he was able to deflect it, and while I think there are a few reasons she left him alive, that was probably what earned her his respect and was the foremost reason why she decided to let him go; he proved himself to her.

I have a few thoughts on the other, perhaps more sentimental reasons. For starters, their shared connection to Jing Yuan. If any part of her still cares about him, which I believe she does, I think sparing Yanqing for him was a big factor in her mind.

On a similar note, I wonder if Yanqing reminds Jingliu of Jing Yuan when he was younger. Jing Yuan, in the trailer The Animated Flash, seems like he was just a little younger than Yanqing is now when Jingliu began training him.

Thirdly, while Yanqing clearly wasn't on her level, I believe he did impress her. If nothing else, killing him would be a waste of talent. I'm not just talking about the deflecting of her final move. I think his persistence and courage impressed her, too. I think she recognized Yanqing's decision to fight her didn't come from him arrogantly assuming he could win, but from his sense of duty (and, admittedly, his recklessness.)

Fourth, Jingliu nowadays seems to have considerable control over herself for someone Marastruck. I've already posted a theory on why that might be, but tl;dr without 1.3 spoilers, I think a certain someone might be helping her, similar to how Kafka helps Blade. That said, unlike our usual marastruck victims, Jingliu is able to somewhat rein herself in nowadays, whereas when she trained Blade, she might've had less self control. This may lend itself to the idea that enough of the person Jingliu was before the Mara was left to realize killing Yanqing would be senseless. After all, he poses no real threat to her. The worst he can do is let Jing Yuan know she's out there, considering she did give Yanqing her real name.

And fifth, Blade was someone Jingliu possibly projected her own feelings on being Marastruck onto. Whatever hatred she has for herself becoming an abomination, she may see in him, too, though this is largely speculation. I also think she went harder on him because unlike Yanqing, still under Jing Yuan's wing, Blade had no one else to protect him at that time. Blade had to be self sufficient, had to learn to endure pain and survive on his own. In her own, Marastruck way, I think there's a possibility that may have been Jingliu's attempt to take care of Blade.

This is a lot of rambling for someone who doesn't look at leaks or read a lot of the collectable books lying around, so I could have missed the mark entirely, but I wanted to brainstorm some reasons for fun, and they give me hope for Jingliu in the future.

She does mention at the end of their fight, after disappearing, that she suspects she'll see Yanqing again, so I hope we get to see that play out and get some more of the grand mentor and grand apprentice dynamic. It really fascinates me to see Jingliu interact with someone so much younger from the Xianzhou. Yanqing is brave and talented, but still young and in training. There's still a part of him in canon that's almost naive and still has a lot to learn, and his quest with Jingliu really highlights that. I think they make really good foils to each other because of that, and I like the idea that any mentorly (or dare my found family loving brain say maternal) affection Jingliu once had for Jing Yuan, in her own way, carries down to her treatment of Yanqing.

But who knows. As always I'd love to hear if anyone else has thoughts, but please avoid anything based on leaked content! I try to dodge that stuff like the plague.

#honkai star rail #yanqing #jingliu #speculation time

[funky-fairy]

Lily, Remus and Pandora Headcanons (ridiculously long list)

they're my blorbos i would give my life for them. i project a lot onto remus and lily, so if anything is wildly out of character it's probably that

Lily

very kindhearted but also sarcasm queen

burnt out

Academic validation > real sense of self worth

needs external validation (no this is not healthy she's working on it)

better at potions than snivellus and he hates it hehehe

average at „regular“ magic (spells etc) but exceptional at „scienc-y magic“ (potions, arithmancy, astronomy, herbology etc) bc she's just that cool

plant mom (also green plants > flowers)

actually a rulebreaker, she’s just too smart to get caught

struggles to feel like she belongs: witch in the muggle world, muggle in the wizard world

study buddies to best friends with Remus

fav colours sage green and lavender

sorting hat couldn’t decide between gryffindor and ravenclaw at first

never involved in any drama but knows all about it

everyone is very surprised whenever she swears but she actually swears a lot

tells Pandora about the greek pandora myth and thinks that that's flirting

lotssssss of freckles

curvy/chubby

she is so sleep deprived

sneaks into the library at night (oh wherever could the sleep deprivation come from i have no idea)

loves christmas season (decorating, baking, cheesy movies, music, buying gifts for friends etc., not the christian part)

stress-bakes but can't even cook spaghetti without burning down the kitchen (baking is just different than cooking for her)

constantly apologizes for everything

smokes occasionally and always swears it's the last time (it’s not)

actually not that short but looks very short next to remus and pandora

abba fan (unironically) and always tries to get sirius to dress up as abba with her, remus and pandora (she already coerced persuaded them) for halloween

soft but wouldn't hesitate to kill for the ppl she loves

would love penelope scott if she was a modern teen bc i say so

first one to notice remus has a crush on sirius and vice versa

last one to notice she has a crush on pandora and vice versa

reminds others to drink/eat/sleep/dress warm enough but often doesn't herself bc she feels like she 'doesn't deserve it' :((

kind of a people-pleaser but remus is helping her to stop

so afraid of failure she sometimes doesn’t even try

Remus

doesn't cry (not on purpose he just suppressed his emotions for so long he literally can't cry anymore unless he has a full on mental breakdown)

caffeine addiction

won’t drink anything that isn't hot (eg coffee and tea, but also just hot water)

covers up his intense self hatred with jokes (not self deprecating but like joking about being perfect and stuff, idk how to explain it it's mostly me projecting bc i do that lmao)

very sarcastic and can come off as harsh

actually very nice and non-judgmental

chocolate >>>>>

never involved in any drama but wants to know all about it (Lily is his main source of information)

swears a lot

teachers think he’s very responsible but he just doesn’t get caught being irresponsible

smokes too much

thought the sorting head made a mistake by sorting him into gryffindor at first and still feels insecure about it all through his hogwarts years

patronus is a big black dog(sdfghjk)

very very tall but like kind of lanky

lots of scars obv

Sirius had to ask him out (and later propose to him sdfghjdfs) bc he had too much self doubt/hatred and thought Sirius would never want to be with him :(( (He did. Sirius very much wanted to be with him. Very much.)

top tier insomniac (lily makes sleep droughts for him tho)

lily taught him how to bake and now he loves it and is getting quite good at it

corrects people's grammar

knows every single abba lyric bc of lily

david bowie fan

constantly third-wheeling pandora and lily

hits/breaks things when angry, sometimes hits himself but never others

so afraid of rejection he ends up pushing ppl away (they can’t leave you if you don’t let them close in the first place) (his only close friends still are James, Sirius, Peter and Lily, but it took so long for him to let especially Lily close. Pandora still isn’t quite there even tho they are def very good friends)

Pandora

very smart but only does anything at all if she likes the class/thinks it makes sense to have the class

only follows rules she thinks make sense and most teachers just gave up trying to do something about it

experiments with magic a lot

has scars from said experiments

also random bruises and scratches of unknown origin

wears large quantities of jewellery (piercings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, beads etc in her butterfly locs)

homemade jewellery >>>>>

cannot flirt to save her life

eyeliner.

absolutely in love with lily’s brain

doesn’t drink caffeine

her maiden name is lovegood and both lily and her become lovegood-evans later bc in my brain they marry

just wanders around sometimes (excuses it with saying she sleepwalks if she gets caught past curfew)

t a l l

the sorting head barely touched her head before sorting her into ravenclaw

patronus is an octopus bc it's very intelligent but often seen as 'weird'

fav flower is the lily of the valley (sfdghjk)

knits (she knits sweaters and scarfs for lily <3)

is like the only one in this trio that actually feels pretty good about herself

although she does realize ppl tend to see her as 'weird' she just kind of accepted it? like, yeah, other ppl can be close-minded but she knows that and doesn't let it define her; as long as she's happy and doesn't hurt ppl it's all good for her

exclusively drinks sparkling water and jasmine tea

hates the feeling of brushing her teeth and is always working on spells/potions(with lily sdfghjdfs) that clean her teeth for her

would definitely also love penelope scott if she was a modern teen

loves pastries and other little baked goods

literally doesn't get cold

#marauders #marauders era #the marauders #marauders fandom #marauders headcanon #marauder headcanons #headcanons #headcanon #remus lupin #remus #lily evans #pandora lovegood #pandalily #pandora x lily #lily x pandora #remus lupin headcanon #remus lupin hc #pandora #pandora lovegood headcanons #lily evans headcanons #lily evans hc #pandora rosier #pandora lestrange #lily evans potter

[nancydrewwouldnever]

The good thing about a long commute is that it leaves you with plenty of time to think, so you can really pick at those things in the corner of your brain.

I’m about to half-assed pop psychology all over this crap.

So, yesterday was really interesting from a picking apart Chris Evan’s subconscious kind of an angle. I don’t want to look at the still photos montage. I only want to think about the first and third posted video – the mouth video and the Mario Kart video.

We now know from the scare video dump in January and this dump yesterday that there’s a lot of material floating around out there on cell phones. (But, yeah, we already guessed that, didn’t we.) So, we have to really start finely parsing why a person would choose two videos as bizarrely uncomfortable as those he posted to try to sell a “serious love story” on the holiday for the serious love story. Because neither of those videos sold love or even affection – they sold the subtext of disdain.

When you both say in a video you post “you’re not going to like this” or write “she hates this, but I find it funny,” you are communicating an inherent lack of respect for the person you are showing as the subject of said videos. There’s no way you can look at either video and not see that in some way Alba is being portrayed, whether intentionally or not, as somehow inept or incompetent, hapless or helpless. She “doesn’t know what to say” or do in the first one; she is being put physically in a position which has inherent sexualized overtones from porn culture. He is physically holding her down, to a certain way of thinking. In the second video she struggles to play a video game originated before she was ever born(!), and he finds this ineptitude to be hilarious. From my way of viewing, as the audience, I don’t find either video to be indicative of cute couples’ behavior behind the scenes, but rather of an older dominant male putting a younger more inexperienced female into shaming/ridiculing situations. And then blasting those situations to the world via social media.

Why would you ever make those choices for those videos, knowing you probably have others to choose from that show situations far less riddled with open-ended interpretation. (Let’s be real, he could have shown them skiing at Okemo, not much subtext there.)

This is where we get into the pop psychology angle, which I’m probably just going to massacre, but oh well. We all started musing about that “I hate myself” quote the minute we read it in SMA. Now, I invite you to think about the psychology concept of projection.

I think that self-hatred and self-loathing he holds is far deeper and far more insidious than any of us can comprehend. I’ll give him some credit, he’s done a somewhat good job of covering it up and still having career success even while dragging it around.

But it’s bad, and I think he directs a lot of it into his interpersonal relationships with women.

That self-hatred and self-loathing is what keeps him from having true long-lasting and healthy romantic partnerships. He subconsciously detaches parts of it from himself, through his insecurities, and projects those insecurities onto his partner. Therefore, he’s already given himself an out for why the relationship will fail, but it’s not on him, because he’s projected it onto them. However, it is always on him, even if he can’t see that, because he’s never working on the actual root cause of why everything doesn’t work, doesn’t fit, doesn’t fulfill his intense emotional lacks: because he’s never acknowledged that there is some intense trauma there somewhere that set this self-hate and self-loathing into action, and that it needs to be brought into the light with therapy and worked on. Nothing will change until that happens.

Instead, the subconscious cycles and patterns are self-perpetuating, so he will continue to search out situations which feed the cycles. Ergo, always someone he can project onto, not someone self-realized enough to be the kind of person who could actually help him come to terms with his own trauma.

So, whatever this toxic situation with Alba is, it is even more toxic because it serves his subconscious need to project all his own insecurities onto her. And she’s in no way capable of stopping that, because she just doesn’t have the life or relationship experience to do so. So, I postulate that what you see in those two videos, that’s him projecting his own self-disdain, self-ridicule, and immaturity onto her in a situation he has perfectly created for it. If you’re watching those videos and you feel like Chris is viewing her through a lens of shaming or derision, know it’s not just her: he’s viewing himself the same way as well.

So, I’ll end by paraphrasing a great line from Hamlet: Get thee to a nunnery. (Apt, given Chris also has a really off-the-rails Madonna/Whore complex.)

Chris – get thee to a psychoanalyst’s couch.

(Freud's actual couch.)

#random musings #albagate