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#is everyone offended yet?
zestywaffles · 9 months
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perspective of the 16 types by a 9w1 that is done with their sh*t
the last post of my perspective of the types was when I was a 17-year-old ESFP, wearing rose-colored glasses.
but I'm done playing nice.
this is for people with zero self-awareness and the maturity of a fifteen-year-old. I'm just being honest for once, so feel free to get offended (∩^o^)⊃━☆
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ENTP - you drain me
ENFP - you drain me equally, and it boggles my mind how you can't read the room at all
ISFP - your inf. Te sucks and it makes me also not want to do stuff and just sit on the couch with you. fine, i'll watch three movies with you, but anyways, you suck.
ESFP - i don't wanna be around you unless you're 35+ years old
ESTP - stop complaining, we're all suffering here
INTP - you're overrated, and so is your nerdiness
ENTJ - i don't get why you want to be in charge so badly. let the idiots wreck themselves for once.
ISTJ - your rigid social laws ain't flying with me. I'll wear my red Converse whenever i like, thanks
INFJ - i don't care about your mystical vibe, it's probably just a side-effect of over-thinking and mental unhealth
ISFJ - you're too nice for your own good, and your social persona bothers me cuz it's not the real you.
ESFJ - you're even worse with this, and you talk too much. i get that you care but like... please be more genuine about how you feel
INTJ - do you enjoy that your mental illness and depression make me really sad? i think you do
ISTP - ... no comment
INFP - sorry that you're the only one with real feelings and deep thoughts, but anyways, thanks for all the music.
ESTJ - you're hustling, but are you living?
ENFJ - whatever story you're telling me, i stopped listening five minutes ago.
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mudpuddless · 11 months
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Knight Feemor and Padawan Kenobi in the shadow court
AU where qui-gon gives up on/is banned from training Obi-wan after melida-daan and Feemor becomes Obi-wans master.
[picture ID: it's a digital drawing of jedi knight feemor stahl, aged 37, a long haired blonde near-human with tan skin and forest green robes, sitting on the floor with his legs tucked in under him. He is levitating a bright yellow kyber crystal between his hands as a disassembled white-gold lightsaber is floating to his right. padawan obi-wan kenobi, aged 13, a ginger child with grown out hair and a padawan braid wearing white tunics is napping next to him on the floor using a sage green cloak as a blanket and knight stahl's knees as a pillow with his hands tucked under his cheeks. the wall behind them is tiled with diamond shaped star patterned tiles and to their right a large white blue and gold porcelain planter is holding a small gnarly tree with droopy green leaves. above them three identical complex lancet windows which let white gold sunlight into the room. the drawing is done largely in turquoise and yellow tones and the atmosphere is peaceful and serene. end ID]
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guideaus · 5 months
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why was this so funny to me 😭😭
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cattatoir · 9 months
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I mean honestly I love how Derek Jacobi portrayed metatron bc like it’s a master manipulation by Angel standards but by human standards (and probably Crowley’s) like he’s just really barely repressed menace and like…rage? disgust? Sure he waits til Aziraphale turns around to glare at Crowley but he’s not even looking or talking at Aziraphale with anything actually friendly
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ncutii-gatwa · 1 year
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🗑🗑
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sipsteainanxiety · 2 years
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ok but imagine telling bkg he's ugly to his face LMFAOOOO
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galvanizedfriend · 2 years
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it's so interesting how klaus handles his romances. taking the loyalty from stephan when he wouldn't give it willingly. and then when it came to caroline when he craved her loyalty as well instead this time he confessed he adored her and would wait until the end of time for her to give it to him. which is just a wild jump from one end to the other. this man truly only works in extremes.
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No but fr. I was watching more episodes and having thinky thoughts about this. Sorry took me a bit to get back to you, nonnie! I think when Klaus decided to pursue Caroline, he thought he might stick around for the long run. His mother was back, his whole family was there, Mikael was gone. They were all about starting over or whatever. I think in that very naive moment, he thought he might actually settle down in Mystic Falls for a bit and try to rebuild what he'd lost in New Orleans, so he tried a different approach with Caroline, seeing as things with Stefan had kinda gone all sorts of wrong.
You can see he loses his shit a few times, but then holds back just before he does something rash. It was pretty clear things wouldn't work with Caroline the way they did with Stefan before. She wasn't gonna fall for his bad attitude, wasn't gonna let his bs slide and was also not gonna join the dark side of the force with him. And I think he respected Caroline for that. He always saw how strong she was, how much character she had, and that was truly what drew him to her. Klaus may be whatever Klaus may be, but I don't think he would've ruined something he thought was beautiful (in every sense of the way). He *fancied* her, as he said. It was more than just physical attraction, he genuinely thought she was interesting. If he tried to compel her loyalty, he would kill everything he liked about her. So he didn't.
But I also think there might be a thing there to be said about honesty. He liked that Caroline was not just honest, but unafraid to speak her truth, which is something not a lot of people did in front of Klaus. Not even Stefan back in the 20s. Stefan was sly AF. He was there for a good time, not for any realness. And if you consider Klaus' whole fear of abandonment issues, the way he treated his family, how he wanted to build himself a hybrid army to surround himself with undestructible immortals, it implies he was a very lonely person, and in spite of his bravado and the face he put forward, how he wanted people to believe he was above all these things, it wasn't something he appreciated. Seeing the Scooby gang fighting for each other, seeing Rebekah and Elijah becoming tight again and hating on him, seeing how totally devoted to Elena Stefan was, and also how Caroline was just willing to fight for her friends, I think Klaus might have envied that. He probably wanted to have that too, people who would fight tooth and nail for him because they wanted, not because he compelled them to, or because they were sired to him. He valued family a lot, and that's what family was. So I also think there might have been a part of him that wished Caroline would come to feel that way for him, and knew that he would never have it if he tried to pry it from her by force.
For all his mistakes and flaws, Klaus was very generous towards Caroline, in a way. He saw her, understood her, knew there was a part of her that longed for more than the small town life, but also knew that she was a very young vampire who still had some human life to burn before she was truly free. And he was just willing to wait for her to be ready.
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alwithcolorfulhair · 1 year
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The amount of times I have said the words "I am so normal about this man" would suggest, that maybe, possibly, I might not be very normal about said man.
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hidingoutbackstage · 1 year
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Remember when Ned Try Guy cheated on his wife and everyone on the internet took it personally?
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mbat · 1 year
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having good graphics is literally the bare minimum btw. also the graphics look the same to me as the graphics in the polar express 2004 and i like those better than this actually
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danothan · 2 years
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i wanna do succession handcanons (bc ofc i do) but i also realized that i have never and will never get anywhere close to wealth to even guess the way rich ppl dress or keep up their appearances. would they all regularly get manicures
#succ#danbles#i would love to make this one a bit more collaborative since i feel like i dont understand succession as well as my usual hypfixes#too serious + i dont have a wealth consultant + im not at s3 yet#but i wouldve def made tom the most likely to get a manicure out of everyone#idk i dunno how rich ppl work so feel free to chime in#but he makes me think of those guys that come into a salon and dont know what to expect#so when i ask them if they want their nails polished they always think im joking (it’s not 2007 anymore guys 😭)#and then i explain we have clear polish if they’re apprehensive abt colors#and that always gets their attention bc theyre like hmmm… that Would be shiny#and im like hell yeah youre already here might as well treat yourself!#anyway i think thats what tom’s first salon experience was like and now he always goes clear polish#sorry this turned into like a tom self-insert concept is it so bad to wanna hold his hand 😒#as for greg… i can see them going to a salon together (forced by tom) and tom giving him this exact rundown ive just given you#and greg would ofc laugh in that uncomfortable way that he does bc he thinks tom is making a jab at his masculinity#and yk he’s younger and more Hip with the kids but he doesn’t know tom’s intentions by asking#which tbf are muddied as hell#bc yes it’s a jab but also grow up man it’s 2022 guys get their nails done all the time#it’d be in that way where tom does say AND mean it as a jest but get fully offended when greg interprets it as such#so i guess what im saying is that up-to-date greg might also have clear polish??#but not like tom’s bc greg’s is already chipping due to his fidgeting + forgetting they were even polished#im gonna go out on a limb and say kendall roman and maybe connor dont care#they prob get manis (unlike tom they wouldnt go to a salon they’d have their own personal nail techs) but not polish#bc you can also keep your nails shiny without polish by buffing them#ohhh my god but tom would still choose the polish. he would still choose. wait hold on i need a second#and greg would ask why he has to get them painted like can’t he just get them buffed instead#like theyre always chipping and it ends up just looking worse#and tom is like wth man i thought we were in this together. not my fault you can’t take care of your hands.#jfc that was a lot of tags ​i hope you guys enjoyed getting a glimpse of my handcanon-making process
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friendofthecrows · 2 years
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Hate hate hate how my wallet looks thick and muggable with cash basically falling out with how full it is but it's just because last time I went to the ATM it inexplicably gave me the entire amount in 5 lira bills???
(For context the average meal is around 50 lira, I was just grabbing an appropriate amount of cash for a few days. Previously that same ATM has given me the amount in a mix of 100 and 50 lira bills, so idk why it decided to make my life harder this time)
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yelloworangesoda · 26 days
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i hate the food situation at my house so much for the love of god. theres only so many times a man can eat ramen with nothing or tuna with nothing
#theres no fucking. ingredients. theres nothing to add. i used to walk around my kitchen trying to look up stuff to make with what we had but#it required like. an onion. an egg. a spice. a vegetable. and we dont have that#and something about me. idk what it is idk if its me or my dads fault but i cant ask for it. i cant. i think part of it is bc i need the#ingredient for my one thing and then. it goes bad and its my fault and i feel bad#i hate my food situation so much. my dad makes this food in the microwave that he knows i dont like or eat. but if i make something else he#gets offended like thats not fair#and i feel bad for complaining bc i should just get a job and buy my own food but im not gonna do that bc im not gonna get a job.#i have trust fund money. like a decent amount from when i was hit buy a car#i should move out of state like right now. and live off that and when it runs out. ill just lay in the street i guess. i hate my life so#much guys its not funny. idk what to do. theres no fixing this theres nothing i want to do and nobody can help me bc theres no solution#everyone ignores it bc theres no solution to my problem. im never gonna be happy. its never gonna be worth it#nobody wants to tell me thats life suck it up or die bc they know id rather die by a mile. im so embarrassed of my stupid life im such a#failure. i want to kill myself bc i dont want to work like how pathetic is that. thats so stupid. i dont really say it to my parents bc they#would just laugh at me. or yell at me. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to do. i find myself hoping i get in a car accident and die#anytime i go out. i hope i dont wake up in the morning. i hope something bad happens and its not my fault so i dont get the blame i just get#the benifit of not having to do this anymore#god thats so. dark. its how i feel.#its getting to the point where i dont feel like i should say im not gonna kill myself at the end of these. im still not yet. but it feels#like a yet situation. like its gonna get to the point where i start trying again.#im still not there yet though. please dont… well idk what happens so suicidal adults. call the police on me. my methods arent any more#refined than they were when i was 14 trying to drink. nail polish.#simons spouting#vent :(#suicide //
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echo-onsl4ught · 2 months
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logging onto spacehey dot com every day trying to figure out if the person whose username is "xXbl00dsp1ll1ng" and whose profile picture is a bleeding anime girl is a 14 year old girl with depression or someone about to post the most horrific images you've ever seen titled "CUTE DOG PHOTOS!!"
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fizzysound · 9 months
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was experiencing a bizarre mix of microagressions (directed at me) and general transphobia (not at me.. probably?) at work today. was not good :/
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yanderenightmare · 3 months
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TW: nsfw, noncon/dubcon, omega verse/hybrid au, size difference, pet-play, predator x prey, collaring, double-pen, gangbang kinda, tag-team
fem reader
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It’s been a month since your new owner brought you home, and despite expectations, you’ve yet to be eaten by the predators you share your den with. On the contrary, the six hybrids seem to have accepted you as their seventh pack member despite you being at the very bottom of the food chain.
You’ve come to trust that, despite the look of hunger in their eyes… food isn’t exactly what they have in mind. 
The hyena seems to be the only one your age. But he’s also a bit of a bully. Always goading you with ticklish poking until you stomp your feet and whine at him to stop. 
He never listens to you, though – he just cocks his head, finding it funny how you try giving him orders – only grinning as he pins you instead, chewing some on the lops of your ears while squeezing your cottontail – smirking and giggling at your pouty face getting all frustrated.
Your weak kicking is so cute, and so is how you try clawing at him despite having but blunt nails – he can’t help but laugh at the way it tickles him. 
It’s so painstakingly clear you’re not made to fight back, and it’s so adorable how you don’t even realize you already surrendered the moment you rolled over on your back with your belly up. 
It makes him go absolutely feral when you pull on his ears and mane, begging him to stop as he laves at your slit and clit, delving his long tongue deep within your walls until the tip prods your womb. It’s course against your skin and harsh on your insides and scratches your poor clit until it’s all swollen and throbbing for him – making you sob as his feral smile teases your chubby mound with a bite – only satisfied when you cum in his mouth.
But while the hyena enjoys play-fighting with you, the rest are more prone to fight each other…
The panther and leopard are good friends, whilst the fox and wolf seem to tolerate each other – and you don’t know whether it’s unfortunate or a blessing in disguise that both pairs only want you for themselves and often end up fighting over you.
You’d say the four are the most trigger-happy of the pack – always hissing and barking at each other. But everyone knows that cats and dogs don’t get along.
The canines are a little scarier, you think. They’re rougher with you.
The wolf especially. He’s older than you, a big heap of hulking muscles that bear down over you with the daunting superiority of a seasoned hunter. 
He doesn’t take lightly to you talking back to him – acting as though he’s actually offended when you so much as open your mouth if it’s not to swallow his tongue. Even if all you ask is for him to go a little slower, he’ll just growl at you – threatening your neck with fangs while chewing your collar – and otherwise ignore your cry completely. Calling you his bitch while telling you to quit your whimpering even though he’s been breeding you sore for the past hour, ramming your poor cunt so hard your muscles have all given out and left you to lie on the floor with only his paws keeping your hips upright.
He's always extra rough when you reek of cat – as though it’s your fault. Huffing and puffing as he now has to spend so much effort scenting you again.
It’s a never-ending war between them all. You go from camp to camp, getting marked again and again like territory, only for your owner to clean you up at the end of the day.
But the wolf is the worst. One time he’d gone so far as to piss on you… 
But he was later scolded by the owner – bonking his head with a rolled-up newspaper, telling him he had to learn to share or else he’d have to go sleep out in the doghouse. He’d also been told he had to stop breaking skin when biting you unless he wanted to be muzzled.
It only made him all the more grumpier. Growling in your ear that the one who ought to be muzzled is you and your snitch-mouth always crying wolf like some bitch who never learns her place – that next time you go talking to the owner, he’s going to eat you like the piece of meat you are.
You come to learn that he’s more bark than bite after a while. 
When you get used to him and his stamina, you stop crying and start holding onto him instead. And it’s when you’re burying your face in his neck and begging for his seed that he softens up for you.
He stops biting and starts sucking instead – laying hickeys all over your neck and chest, blushing with closed eyes when suckling your tits like a pup. You learn he’s a sucker for being called good boy and will wag his tail when you sit on his face. 
He’s also the one with the most owner-sickness of the pack, always clinging to you, growling when others get close, and never ever sharing when his turn.
He only begrudgingly allows the fox to eat his scraps afterward. 
You can only mew as he mounts you next. 
His tempo is always a bit of a shock – a bit juvenile, but who can blame him when he’s had to wait for so long? He’s a little younger than you – eager and desperate for it every single time.
Pounding you sharply – hard and fast with howls and heavy panting – even whimpering as you hold you tighter and tighter, squeezing you free of air as he savors the feel of your wet pussy clamping down around him.
He doesn’t growl too much when you whine. Instead, he laughs – elated and frenzied – eyes manic as he sticks his tongue as far down your throat as he can – drooling uncontrollably as he sinks his knot inside you and spills his worth inside your womb.
It’s a relief he doesn’t last as long as his bigger partner.
He’ll suck love-bites on the chubs of your cheeks as he unswells – lick all the sweat from your skin and come down by the sweet taste. Laying sloppy kisses all over your body and lapping over all bruises and soreness in gratitude – looking at you somewhat sheepishly with big puppy-dog eyes as though suddenly embarrassed that he’d been so feral.
The felines are less spastic. 
But they also like to lick you – with sand-textured tongues scraping at your fur and skin until they’ve made sure you’re coated with their scent. They seem to enjoy grooming more than anything, always snuggling with you.
But they get flirty, too… you’ll know when they start kneading your softer parts – blinking at you slow and expectantly until you return the favor.
They’re the same age and have known each other all their life, practically brothers, and do everything together as though they were a pair of Siamese – including when they mate with you. 
They’ll lay you down on one lean chest while the other is poised above you. Purring as they take turns with you – both so gently.
The panther always has a sly smile on his face when looking down at you – his claws retracted while he sticks his slender fingers inside your mouth to play with your tongue. He says it’s one of his favorite things about you – so soft and so silky, so different from theirs when you lick his skin.
It makes the leopard pout behind you, nuzzling you tight, his cheek to your cheek, asking the other if he doesn’t like it when he grooms him. 
The panther only smiles down at both of you, promising that he likes both your tongues until he proceeds to swap between which one of you he kisses.
When the leopard kisses you, he also admits he likes your tongue – whispering all depraved things that come to mind – loves how smooth it feels in his mouth and on his lips and neck and nipples and cock and balls.
Eventually, the heat gets to their heads, and their pointy ears start to droop, looking at you with such dark glossy eyes, opium-blown with pleasure and lust for more – kissing each side of your face, asking whether you won’t allow them both inside you at the same time – their pretty pleas making your head go silly, panting while nodding your head for them, bucking your hips stuck between the two while begging for both of them.
You feel their slim tails coil around each of your thighs as they sink inside your drooling heat together – their breaths deep and shuddering while they feel your tightness squeeze around them. 
They coo at you – telling you how perfect you look trapped between them like that – as their pretty little double-stuffed toy. And you’re too cock-drunk to do anything but agree.
After flooding you with cum, they go back to cuddling – sleeping – the both of them purring with lanky limbs all tangled on top of each other and you in the middle.
The bear is also a lazy fellow – a gentle giant. Something you’re grateful for – you don’t think you’d survive if he ever tried mounting and pounding you like the other boys.
He’s the eldest of the pack. Twice your age. You feel the seniority in his movements – all unhurried, savoring every second with a warm smile.
He’s satisfied with having you on his lap – cock-warmed by your tight bunny-cunt while you hand-feed him berries. You feel a little safer with him knowing you have the same appetite and that he isn’t thinking about eating you. 
He hums, a rusty sound that comes from his gut – telling you he likes seeing you eat – that it’s cute how you take such small bites – and the way your nose scrunches and your cheeks fill.
Sometimes he’ll tell you to hop on his lap – his massive warm paws placed on your haunches with large black claws gently denting the plush flesh found there, encouraging you as you ease up and down the great length that bulges from your belly. 
The size of it makes you pant.
You’re glad he’s happy having you at the end of the day – after you’ve been loosened up by the others. You fear he’d split you in two if otherwise.
The owner collects you before bedtime after everyone’s had their share – clips a leash onto your collar, and leads you to the bathroom – crawling on all four like an actual animal. You’ll often collapse halfway there, but he doesn’t mind scooping you up to carry you instead – always with a few patronizing words leaving him while mollycoddling you, almost speaking baby to you, telling you how proud he is of how domesticated you’ve become.
There’s always a bath waiting for you – a gift for being such a good little pet, he says. 
It reminds you of when you were first brought here, as he washes you with his own hands – rubbing the filth of spit, cum, and sweat from your sore limbs, messaging your flesh into nice limber softness again.
He’s always mumbling about human matters under his breath – money, business, estate – ruffling your hair when you give him a blank stare. Apologizing while saying he won’t trouble your pretty head with such complicated topics.
All you have to worry about is being his stress-relief – something clueless and dumb and dependent on him. You realize that without him needing to say it. It’s communicated through all the other things he says anyway.
He’s always whispering in your ear before bed – sweet nothings about what a good bunny you are – how you’re the cutest, softest, sweetest little thing in the entire world – telling you how much he loves you and how happy he is that you’re finally settling in – how you’ve become the most precious little housebroken pet for him.
It feels different when he touches you. The other hybrids make you feel small, but there’s a familiarity with them – something about being hunted fairly and squarely, like out in the wild. 
With the owner, you’re reminded you’re a pet eating out of his palm – something tame warming his bed at night with your leash tied to the bed frame.
He doesn’t fuck you with the same intent as the others do – there’s no rut behind his cold movements. It’s not mating or breeding. It’s something else you can’t put your finger on. Something human. Something alien to you.
Something in the way he has his hand fisting your leash as he sinks inside your heat – something in how he babies you, calls you cute when you shake and cum around his cock like you can’t control yourself.
It all makes you feel like some mindless animal.
Impulsive and primitive in comparison to him and his calculated thrusts and how he only cums inside you after you’ve all but begged him to breed you.
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part 1
Owner: BNHA - Aizawa, AFO JJK - Nanami, Kenjaku HQ - Ukai
Hyena: BNHA - Shigaraki JJK - Mahito HQ - Tendou
Wolf: BNHA - Bakugou, Dabi JJK - Sukuna, Noaya HQ - Sakusa
Fox: BNHA - Kirishima, Denki, Deku, Amajiki JJK - Yuji, Yuuta, Choso HQ - Hinata, Nishinoya
Leopard & Panther: BNHA - Denki & Shinso, Hawks & Dabi JJK - Gojo & Geto HQ - Miya twins, Oikawa & Kageyama, Kuro & Kenma
Bear: BNHA - Enji, Aizawa, All Might, Mirio JJK - Toji, Nanami, Higuruma HQ - Daichi, Ushijima
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