#in the context of dream making a claim by giving his human a bunch of talismans

[mayhemspreadingguy]

Hob with longer hair and fancy accessories ❤️

If you wanna know where this brain rot came from check this post. I blame @magnusbae ☺️

#dreamling #because it's obvious even without explanation who's the one that keeps giving Hob these pretty things and who braids his hair :D #silly rabbit au #because of course it is #gasp not a digital art this time? yeah sometimes I feel like using a good old pencil. but then i remembered why i don't do it very often #taking photos of the sketches is such a pain! especially without a decent light source #and the weather was so gloomy today so no good daylight either TT_TT #and looking back on the sketches maybe i could have gone more wild with the jewellery. that would be probably more funny #in the context of dream making a claim by giving his human a bunch of talismans #which to anybody with supernatural background basically screams BELONGS to the DREAM of the endless!! do NOT approach!!! x'D #but i worried that I'll go overboard and make it look tacky ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ #hob gadling #ferdinand kingsley #mayhem art

[the-final-sif]

c!Dream has a very confusing day. So he makes it other people's problem. This is not a good long term plan.

Dream stared at the offending object, unsure of his own emotions about it. There was so many of them that they had all blended together into a soup.

He' been staring at it for nearly 15 minutes now. Trying to make sense of what it could possible mean.

Figuratively and literally.

Sam had brought the cake in 15 minutes prior, mumbled a bunch of stuff that Dream had no hope of making out (the man hadn't even bothered to remove his mask to let Dream have a chance at lip reading), and then left.

Dream had been so lost he hadn't managed to collect himself in time to say anything. So here he was, left staring at the cake on the nightstand.

The core question he was wrestling with at the moment felt like it should be so simple.

Was Sam a fucking idiot or was this cake intended as a threat?

....

15 minutes in and Dream had made no real progress on that question.

The main issue at hand was that the cake itself was chocolate, very obviously from the smell and color.

Now, Dream had a mostly human digestive tract, but he was still a hybrid.

Everyone knew that no animal hybrids should have chocolate, save for piglins.

Hell, Dream was pretty sure chocolate wasn't great for creeper hybrids. Sam must've known that chocolate would be poisonous for him.

On it's face, that felt like an obvious threat. Or maybe Sam was just hoping that he was fuckin' stupid and would just eat it and... end up sick? It was just frosting, so it wasn't going to be enough to kill him. It'd fucking suck and make him throw up, but that was about it.

That presented an issue though; Dream was already pretty sick. Sam already knew Dream couldn't walk on his own (although he was getting closer to that with each passing day). What more would he get out of poisoning him?

Not to mention Sam of all people knew Dream was careful with his food. He wasn't starving right now, he wasn't falling for this.

That brought back the second issue, the writing on top of the cake.

The cake had been topped with a blood red icing, but... Dream was struggling to tell if it was messy on purpose, or if Sam had just put the icing on without letting the cake cool properly and it was melted.

Giving that the frosting seemed to be in a similar state, Dream was leaning towards the later.

That added to the very unsteady, messy handwriting, meant that Dream could only pick out a few words.

Prison was one of them (or imprisonment, still, the same implication). He was pretty sure that the starting word was his own name. The last one was Sam's name for sure.

He thought one of the words might be hybrid, but it could also be 'highly' or 'hardly' or maybe hydras. There was little context to help understand.

That would lead to this being some sort of attempt at a threat. Maybe threatening to put him back in the prison?

Dream would like to accept that everything pointed to that but...

Okay. Listen.

Sam can write a fucking letter if he wanted to be threatening. He could just say something out loud or figure out some sign.

Who the fuck makes a cake to deliver a threatening message?

It just didn't add up.

Which lead Dream to wonder if maybe Sam was just a fucking moron and didn't think about the chocolate thing. Maybe this cake was some sort of sincere offering?

But then again, maybe there was the poison aspect? Or maybe Sam wanted plausible deniability? He could just claim to.... Ponk? Maybe? That it wasn't meant as a threat?

After fifteen (now nearly 20) minutes of turning these argument over in his head, Dream was fed up.

Still, he didn't have a great solution, until his communicator silently buzzed against his wrist.

Oh. right. Check-in time.

Punz was the one who messaged him this time.

'You good? Sam tried anything? Ranboo says sorry for nearly getting caught btw. Also he said you were a rabbit hybrid? Unclear where that's coming from. Are you lying to him or is he lying to me?'

Shoot.

Dream forgot that that would get back to Punz.

It wasn't really a big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal.

All the sudden Dream found himself frantically reviewing everything he knew about Punz, interrogating his memory for any indication that somehow, this would be what split Punz off. Not being strong enough, not being what Punz needed him to be. Dream forcible shut that part of his brain off.

Sure, Punz might not be happy about not knowing, but he'd understand. It wasn't even an intentional secret. At some point... Dream just forgot he wasn't born human.

Snapping back to the present, Dream moved to type out a reply before Punz got worried.

'I'm fine. One weird situation but it's probably okay. Neither Ranboo nor I are lying.'

There was a long, long pause.

'okay. i have. questions. is the weird situation urgent?'

For a moment, Dream considered if he could successfully distract from having this conversation using the cake.

Ehh, probably better to answer the basics then get into the cake to avoid deep questioning.

'Not really.'

Punz only took a moment this time.

'how long have you been a rabbit hybrid?'

That one was easy

'22 years, I think. I don't remember the date right now.'

'okay. so this isn't, new? are you like. 1/9th rabbit on your grandmother's side or something?'

In reality, Dream actually wasn't sure what the breakdown was. He went with the easier answer.

'Nope. Full rabbit. Ears and legs.'

There was another long pause. At this point, Dream was fucking with Punz a little bit, but in his defense, it was fun.

'am I just the most blind motherfucker in existence? i know you keep your hood up and like to wear socks but i feel like ive treated enough injuries on you that i woud've noticed that.'

Alright. He should probably be nice now.

'Nah. Mask keeps it all hidden. Wasn't ever really a secret, but I got so used to it that I never mention it. Once I'm healed up I can put the mask back on and be back to normal.'

The pause wasn't quite as long there.

'i dont wanna push, but is there... like, a reason? also im not a hybrid expert, but isnt that not great long term?'

Ugh. Dream didn't want to get into this. Time for the cake distraction.

'It's nothing bad. Lets me eat chocolate and stuff safely. Can't without it. Speaking of which, hypothetically if Sam brought me a chocolate cake with blood red writing on it that's mostly garbled, would you think that'd be a threat or just him being dumb?'

He held his breath, and...

'he fucking what??'

Hook, line, and sinker.

'I can send a photo? I can't figure it out. Wanted a second opinion.'

Who knows, maybe Punz could help make out Sam's terrible handwriting?

It was worth a shot.

#c!dream #c!sam #staged duo #dreblr #c!punz #c!awesamdude #sif speaks #dsmp #dream smp #apology cake AU #prison duo #long post #sif writes

[literallyjusttoa]

let me skip the pleasantries (and spelling probably) and ask the important questions

polldona headcanons

genuialy would love to see what your brain thinks about them because they seem to be in you mind a lot

I was about to pass out but I have decided to postpone that bc of this ask this is a very urgent question. Here are my thoughts.

DRAMATICS. These two are dramatic about anything and everything. This leads to situations that are very silly (“Apollo, where did my favorite calligraphy pen go?” “I stole it.” “*gasp* How DARE YOU-“)

Any fights between the two can be equally dramatic, but they tend to fight quick and cool down even quicker. Despite outward appearances, both Apollo and AoD are very introspective people, so it doesn’t take long for them to reflect on an argument and come to a compromise. The main issue is that they both have very sharp tongues, so if they want to insult they can cut deep.

Poetry is a love language and they both engage in it heavily.

Apollo and AoD can go from insulting each other to showering each other in praise and encouragement in like 0.5 seconds. They give the people around them whiplash.

Apollo has made it his life goal to broaden AoD’s theatre horizons. AoD insists that no play will ever beat the works of Shakespeare. (This is a lie, they fall in love with every piece of music Apollo sings for them, so many musicals have now topped Shakespeare’s works)

AoD is human everytime I draw them, but I figure they haven’t done a whole bunch of regular human activities. Apollo loves traveling with them. And AoD likes having context for the odd comments all of their tree siblings used to make about the outside world.

Side note: Human!AoD came from the Magical Girl Au, but I’m thinking outside of that AoD should just be a nymph? I like them being a dryad.

AoD still claims they never search any of their information up online. Apollo has yet to actually see them search something up on google, but he is determined to catch them in the act.

AoD has no idea how to act around Apollo’s children and it’s a bit hilarious.

Austin: hey, you’re dating my dad, right?

AoD: Yes. Hello … young child.

Austin: …

AoD: … How do you do?

Ok that’s all I’m actually passing out now, hope this fulfilled your wildest dreams!

#don’t call out how much I think about polldona it’s a genuine problem /j #trials of apollo #sunny speaks #toa apollo #lester papadopoulos #arrow of dodona #polldona #ask #they are just so them shaped and them sized ya know #headcanons

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #7: “Bloodcorn” | December 17, 2007 - 12:00AM | S01E07

Xavier sees an ad for a popular mass-produced cookie which is advertising cookie-tampon combos. Xavier takes the ad’s claim that there was a “mix-up” at the factory, at face value, and becomes overly concerned. He travels there and when he realizes how much pollution comes out of the plant he plugs up a drainage pipe. Toxic sludge backs up into the factory and causes the plant to close. 

Xavier decides to help one of the now jobless workers by going to his farm to perform various dances (a rain dance, which he forgets, a memory dance, which he also forgets, and an irony-neutralizing dance that only works if it’s raining). Fed up, the farmer shoots into the air at god. Blood pours from the sky, which invigorates his crops but turns them into monsters. Xavier saves the day by launching copious cookie tampons into the sky, plugging up the blood rain. 

This one is only hampered by the fact that two episodes ago we had blood Indians and blood cowboys fighting in a similar blood-meets-soil vein. It’s no big deal, really. Both episodes are very strong. It really only makes things confusing in conversation if you were trying to recall which episodes were which. It’s a shallow complaint. For my roommate and myself this was appointment television for us, and I still remember the parts where we laughed hardest. Xavier’s panic when the ad’s “mix-up” claim happens had us in hysterics. I’m not sure if the “mix-up at the factory” trope has aged any since this episode aired. Just in case it has: please know it was a thing. Um... look it up!!!!

There’s another moment that’s notable for perhaps requiring additional context: a sequence where Adult Swim style text supposedly replaces a dream sequence that is too mind-blowing to render. It looks a little bit like the Adult Swim bumpers of the era. The text looks rather large here, and I’m guessing that’s because I’m watching this on HBOMax. The show originally aired letterboxed in a 4:3 image, so I’m guessing the font size was effected by that in the conversion. NOTE: Nobody is allowed to make fun of me for typing the previous paragraph.

There is an early part where Xavier is watching “Darfur Doodles”, a presumably tasteless/wacky program starring malnourished war orphans. An announcer says “Darfur Doodle will be right black”, a joke that I love so much. It’s the kind of thing only a nihilistic POC could write and get away with. This is why we need more nihilistic POC writing comedy. 

Another incredible joke that I think often: I didn’t even really remember that it was in this episode or scene: During one of the cookie ads, they are showing a montage of people giving various testimonials about the new product, and among them is just some dude in a red convertible saying “what do I care?” and driving off while flipping the bird (some of you know what I mean!!!!). So fucking funny. This another joke I can remember bustin’ up laughin’ at. Lookin’ glorious.

More jokes I liked, only because I’m in a mood to remember about jokes: “she’s 14” “nice and legal”. Also the part where the evil blood cloud uses a smokestack to blow cigarette-style smoke onto a bunch of people, causing them to become soot-covered, immediately causing them to be beaten by police officers. Also one last last thing: there is a brief bit where they use a small bit of footage of a dog-faced humanoid looking anguished. This is from the 1981 Clash of the Titans, and this clip was repeatedly over the course of Wonder Showzen, so much so that I almost consider this to be a cross-over.

MAIL BAG

Your Katrina/Soda Pop joke would have cost you your job if you were the Aflac Duck.

If I were the aflac duck I would’ve contracted terminal angel wing from eating all the popcorn and euthanized by the haven humane society (the same people who forced us to kill our dog for being too noisy)

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #xavier: renegade angel

[twinklebitch]

i hate that dsmp has breached containment thanks to constant twitter trends, so now some people on tumblr think we’re all supporters of horridly racist trump supporters when, if you actually look into any of it, that is… blatantly not true at all.

in reality we’re fans of regular people who play minecraft and are, shockingly, human like the rest of us. human enough in fact that they make mistakes sometimes. and the nature of the parasocial relationships you find cultivated on twitter means those mistakes are often perceived as incredibly personal and malicious slights that get scrutinized, miscommunicated about, spread like a game of telephone, and overall blown up.

i don’t think people understand that parasocial relationships aren’t just toxic positivity. there’s also toxic negativity. you can scream about how “they’re not your friend so you don’t have to feel bad about calling them out.” till the cows come home, but don’t pretend there’s not another side to it. the side that is “they’re not your friend and you don’t know them, but they are a person, and you have no idea what a mass attack campaign is doing to them behind the scenes.”

the reality of it is a 17 year old boy was trending negatively for 2 days straight and it affected his mental health so badly that he had to leave twitter and get a therapist. and when he did a stream to explain what was happening, he got trended even more.

and i hate having to pull my fucking minority card to get people to listen to me on these topics, but if that’s what i have to do then fine. as a black person, calling someone a white supremacist for a racially insensitive twitter comment is supremely unhelpful to any black people you’re claiming you’re trying to support, considering there are actually white supremacists on the platform actively tweeting racist bullshit and getting away with it. pretending that the fandom is full of a bunch of white kids who just want to ignore a racist cc is actively ignoring all of the fans of color working to make the fandom safer for each other. most of the time, when a cc does something wrong, we aren’t trying to cancel them, but hold them accountable - not in the often seen twitter version of holding someone accountable, where you actually just yell a bunch and think that will do something - but genuinely. and 9 times out of 10 it gets co opted by white saviors who turn it into what i said above, and no one gets to learn anything of substance. and then i guess those leftovers get regurgitated on tumblr.

so seeing random white kids on tumblr reblog dream “call out” posts that’s just a google doc with a bunch of out of context screenshots (and some that are just faked entirely. whoever faked a screenshot of him saying the n word, fuck you entirely) and misinformation and then don’t bother to look into more than that? y’all make me fucking exhausted. i’m not asking you to like the guy or any other cc on the dsmp. i don’t give a shit what you enjoy. but you don’t have to justify your dislike of them by calling them racist and the ignoring and fans of color that tell you otherwise. he’s by no means perfect, but he and the other ccs on the server have shown time and time again that they want to be called out anytime they say/do something offensive so they can learn and better themselves. so many of them are donating everything they make from streaming this month to the trevor project! (and that was somehow twisted to be wrong and performative?)

you can dislike something without having to find a reason to justify it. so leave the fucking black fans you’re lumping with so called “racist supporters” out of it.

white people don’t clown in the notes

#dream smp #mcyt #discourse #racism #dreamwastaken #im actually so tired like i never thought i’d be a fan that gets into arguments over this shot #tho this is technically a post and not a twitter argument #but like regardless here i am #i just want to watch these motherfuckers play minecraft! god! y’all make everything a fucking battle

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S5 E13 (Coyote Ugly)- 5 Things I loved/ 3 Things to consider

I loved a LOT of things about this episode, so I might have to cheat on my loved-it count. Indulge me, please. 

Things I loved

1. I loved that Tabitha totally belongs and fits in with these crazy OG Riverdale people.  Tabitha asks Betty, the crazy girl, to not “do anything crazy,” while doing crazy things with Betty, herself.   Why Tabitha does this, we don’t know yet, but she absolutely belongs with these people.  For fancy-school-educated beautiful Tabitha, with her neat puff sleeves and delicate frame, to go all in with Betty Cooper, fake FBI agent, trying to hunt down a serial killer is insanity.  To agree to open up her business premises and offer up her own body as bait for this known serial killer is insanity. To be aware that Betty has caught someone who was acting violent, but to go alone, and also unarmed and apparently without having told anyone, is insanity.  Tabitha is very, very interesting.  Oh and she drives the most amazing car.

2. “Reggie, You’re A Genius!!” and Veronica is not being even a little bit sarcastic.  Reggie Mantle’s air punches every time either he or Veronica close a sale really just cheered me up no end. He’s just so exuberant and physical.  He’s already stated that he is good with numbers and he has a lot of ideas and he’s finally, at Pearls & Posh, getting a chance to let those parts of himself bloom. I loved the beautiful jewel tones that Reggie and Veronica wear throughout the episode, and the way they become ever more color coordinated.  I just love the two of them teaming up and dismantling Hiram’s scam one brick at a time.

3. All the Cheryl things, basically, I loved them. 

-“Compulsion Thy Name is Kevin of Finland” is a line that had me hooting.    And the fact that Kevin, in the right clothes, totally has the body and jawline to be a Tom of Finland illustration is just icing on the cake. Cheryl has been keeping a very close eye on Kevin his whole life, honestly, like a dangerous sort of fairy godmother. Cheryl in a checked version of her little red riding hood outfit walking out of the misty blue forest!  What a beautiful shot. 

- I did not love Tabitha having to say,  “Hot Ladies, dancing on the bar, fully clothed, of course,” but I *did* love Fang’s groaning in response, just so put upon. I did this simultaneously with the character, so I appreciated that.  I did love the glorious amount of cleavage that Cheryl the minister and cheerleading coach insists on putting on display while IN a high school.  Her sartorial choices felt like a vengeful commentary on the mores of American television.  I would much prefer to see tits on my TV than blood & violence, so the fact that an entire severed leg, a ghost of Christmas past with bullet wounds, and a man getting his face smashed in by a furious fit young man armed with brass knuckles can be shown in full but hot ladies dancing on a bar must be fully clothed irritated me. 

So yes - I said a whole bunch of words to fancy up the statement that I loved seeing Cheryl’s cleavage.

Sidebar: Also why does it gotta be only ladies?  I think Fangs was fishing for an invitation.

- “I caught them (Moose & Fangs) having wine & cheese” - “Ew that is diabolical.” OK so when you’re in that mindset where you want to ‘win’ the break up but you’ve lost, this sort of hyperbolic reaction is exactly what you want from your female friends, and Cheryl doubles down with, “You did nothing wrong.”   Why has Kevin never declared best friendship with Cheryl? 

4. I loved that  the show gives me permission to do what I’ve been doing already, which is that I absolutely despise Uncle Fucking Frank.  That asshole, who claims to understand battle trauma and love dogs, brings home a traumatized dog which deserves to have stable people look after it and be aware of its issues, and doesn’t tell his housemates who aren’t even getting basic mental healthcare, one of which is a nephew he is mooching from for room & board, about the dog’s potential problems.  Absolute failure garbage human, and I am elated to have this affirmed.  Everything Frank does makes Archie so much worse, and Archie does not trust Frank fully either.  Loved this too.  Archie lies to Uncle Fucking Frank about ‘Bingo.’ He was a dog, he says, and then says that Eric does not like to talk about the dog so Frank won’t go mentioning him to Eric.

5. I loved the musical numbers, each for a different reason.

- Coyote Ugly Bar Top Dance:  These terrifying, formerly terrorized children of Riverdale thrill me and break my heart.  Everyone just tosses themselves at danger.   Cheryl, Veronica, and Betty are all women who’ve had the experience of being hunted, terrorized, gaslit, stalked, sexually assaulted, having to fight for their lives while under attack from a much bigger assailant, etc  - just *all* the bad things, really - but with the promise of a good time (lyrics actually say: How Can I Resist?) they will make themselves live bait for a serial killer. 

- Everything Is All Right from Jesus Christ Superstar. I love Kevin’s singing, always.  I also adored Penelope Blossom hating the musical interlude, she’s great.  This song is also meant to be ironic, in the show, from my memory, because in context things are NOT all right. Mary Magdalene was wrong.  They’re showing Kevin and Fangs making up, they’re showing Veronica and Reggie making a sale, Jughead was not in this episode at all, so this was quite arresting from a show perspective.  The song is disquieting, with minor key elements, and so it’s a little uneasy, you know?  Things are not all right, at all. 

3 Things to Consider

a) “This award is a painful reminder of all that I haven’t accomplished.”  Kevin breaks my heart but not in a campy tingly way.  The feeling that I’m supposed to be somewhere better than this, doing something more than this - it’s so painful and real. I’m you, Kevin.  “This can’t be my life, it just can’t be.”  This seems to be the theme of the post time-jump Riverdale, but it feels more visceral because of what’s happening in the real world on the date of airing (Fall of 2021).

b) Bingo being a person, not a dog, puts an entirely different and devastating cast over the dream-dialogue between Eric and Archie.  According to Archie’s subconscious, Eric is basically saying, “Leave the other man for dead, and save me and only me.”  In the football field dream,  Eric was transformed into Jughead, who just needed a little help, and had to be fireman-carried to touchdown.  Eric insisting that he be prioritized over the unfortunate Bingo goes some ways to explaining the bond between Eric and Archie as well. 

c) Archie Andrews is terrifying, and this adult Archie is fascinating and arresting to me. “I don’t want this scumbag arrested! I want him hurt” is the most honest thing Archie has ever said on the show.  And when he says, “I’m trying to save this town, but it’s so corrupt,  broken, full of awful, despicable people.  I think there’s nothing worth saving here,”  Archie is very reminiscent of the Dark Hood/ Hal Cooper, actually.  Archie scares the worthless Uncle Fucking Frank so much that U.F. Frank can’t even say, “Nobody asked you to save the world, Archie, just save yourself.”

#riverdale s5 opinion #riverdale positivity #It's interesting to experience Riverdale's actual episodes a month later than the states-side viewers #all the stuff that comes up on tumblr is so entertaining but disjointed like reading telegrams sent via bottle all out of order #because I'm in a lighthouse in the middle of the sea #reggie Mantle #cheryl Blossom #Tabitha Tate

[ufonaut]

now that it’s finally over i gotta say i’m still thinking about how absolutely abysmal three jokers is but most of all how geoff johns, a man who’s been in the comic industry for more than a decade, isn’t simply a bad writer but fundamentally misunderstands everything that’s come before him. he, like scott snyder, writes a bruce wayne that is an absolute narcissistic asshole with very few redeeming qualities, instead of -- as better writers have managed again and again -- a traumatised man trying to prevent what happened to him from ever happening again, a man who cares deeply and genuinely and tries to help as much as he can. believe it or not, at this point in time, it’s more revolutionary to portray batman as an actual hero and a fundamentally good person rather than whatever antihero stance geoff unsuccessfully tries to go for

similarly, geoff’s writing is always annoyingly full of conflicting and nonsensical themes. giving the above motif to joe chill doesn’t do anything a random mugging wouldn’t do (a twist of fate! victims of circumstance! if you wanted to lean on the parallels between bruce & joker then the randomness of their respective tragedies is the way to go) except shift the blame for what we’ve been taught to read as One Of The Worst Things To Ever Happen on the shoulders of people experiencing genuine systematic oppression. batman’s existence is uncomfortable to justify when you get into those kind of discussion, i get it! i do! but this is the verifiably cold take of a person who watched joker 2019 and thought arthur was the bad guy, not the billionaires and people in power making his life hell

conceptually making something out of the wayne murders isn’t bad per se (telltale did it wonderfully with the mob hit thing, a personal fav) but the above looks like a very unfortunate pattern in the context of geoff’s villains often being activists supposedly taking it too far by wanting to ensure universal healthcare and stopping homophobia & racism etc (the stargirl ISA), people rightfully fighting against what’s basically a universe-wide attempt at a fascist regime (sinestro vs the guardians) or mentally ill gay characters who’d never never been antagonists until geoff got his hands on them (todd rice/obsidian in jsa 1999, who geoff goes as far as to say might’ve been “born bad”). like, what’re you trying to say here, geoff? do you see how This looks?

another one of geoff’s Worst Offences in three jokers is also definitely how deep his misunderstanding (or hey! maybe hatred) of tkj seems to run. tkj was envisioned as the final batman story precisely because alan moore could not see joker’s cruelty rising above what he did to barbara, that was the unthinkable and it had been reached. end of story. and i agree! pushing joker’s edginess with every present day comic has made him absolutely unbearable but most of all, in the immediately relevant sense, geoff johns has clearly heard tkj is one of the most critically acclaimed batman stories in history and his takeaway was “oh its because joker shot barbara” rather than the actual reason (humanising joker). portraying pre-joker as an abusive husband and would-be father when moore clearly & intentionally avoids that

(”i don’t see him as a violent man so his fists aren’t bunched up or anything like that”, tkj script)

(”the anger is obviously directed at himself rather than at his wife”, tkj script)

and having bruce say he’s known joker’s identity since the moment they met because he’s ‘batman’ but has chosen to protect jeannie ‘cause she’s in some sort of witness protection type deal is, quite frankly, absolute bullshit. the tragedy of tkj is that The Man From Before was a completely average person, maybe even a good person with dreams and aspirations but so insignificant and invisible that he leaves no trace behind when he disappears. he’s not an everyman, he’s a nobody in the most real sense! a person that’s become untraceable through the hand life’s dealt him! the complete opposite of bruce and yet ending up at the same crossroads! why would pre-joker even go through all the trouble of getting involved with the red hood gang in the hopes of him & jeannie never worrying about money again if he didn’t care about her?

on that subject, is it really so hard to understand that joker is doing his whole plan in tkj not because he is a monster (no such thing) but because he sees himself as one and is trying to prove that anyone exposed to as much trauma as him would react the same way? joker’s thing is never about dying with batman or senselessly destroying lives or what have you but about proving it’s not just him. it’s a very base human desire of wanting to know you’re not the only one who’s ever gone through this

that’s why the miracle of bruce saying “maybe i’ve been there too” hits so hard when it’s meant to

the killing joke remains one of the greatest batman stories precisely because it never once claims joker is more than a man, whereas three jokers is doomed to fade into obscurity or be remembered as yet another geoff johns catastrophe

#tkj #batman #joker #three jokers #oh yeah im tagging it i dont mind. i spent too long on this #u can reblog #long post / #long post

[mst3kproject]

She Freak

Oh, boy, this is going to be a fucking delight.  If the 1932 movie Freaks were Invasion of the Saucer Men, She Freak would be Attack of the The Eye Creatures.  Freaks is a very troubling movie, but it does go to great effort to present the denizens of the sideshow as human beings who can be loving, greedy, heartbroken, or naïve as much as anyone else, and who find family in each other when the rest of the world rejects them – and must be very careful who they let into that club.  The horror of the story is derived as much from their predicament as from the fate of Cleopatra.  She Freak is… not like that.

A woman named Jade Cochrane works at a little diner somewhere in the south, quietly (and sometimes not-so-quietly) enduring sexual harassment from both the customers and her married boss.  Wanting more out of life, she quits her job and goes looking for work at a passing carnival, which she figures will at least allow her to travel.  From there she sets her sights on marrying Steve St. John, the owner of the freak show and the richest man connected with this community. Unfortunately for everybody around her, even this very moderate form of power corrupts Jade to the core, and after too much of her mistreatment, the sideshow stars take a horrible revenge!

The opening sequence is a bunch of carnival footage in which everybody looks bored, worryingly reminiscent of both Carnival Magic and MUZ.  Even worse, quite a bit of it is shot by somebody sitting on a moving ferris wheel or other midway ride.  I’ve never been able to enjoy midway rides because I get motion sickness (I can’t see J. J. Abrams movies in theatres for the same reason), so this was not a fun experience for me, even on my tiny laptop screen.  It goes on way too long, and most of it doesn’t even have any credits over it.  Crow would have fled to go throw up in a corner.

The moment I knew She Freak belonged on MST3K, however, is this shot:

What the hell does that sign say?  YHJCY A+ FTJB?  What does it mean?  Is it an acronym?  A secret code?  An in-joke? A message to or from aliens?  That would have fascinated Mike and the ‘bots.  They’d have built a whole host sketch around that sign.

She Freak is tooth-rattlingly bad in many different ways.  I don’t know what any of the people in it think they’re doing but it sure isn’t acting.  It’s relentlessly padded, full of pointless footage of putting the midway up, taking the midway down, putting the midway back up again, and carnival-goers wandering around looking dazed.  At one point we have to watch a stripper do her act, to a chorus of background hooting and applause that sure isn’t coming from the bored-to-shit audience we see.  Most of the film feels like nothing is happening, and then what ought to have been the entire plot is crammed into the last fifteen minutes.

The one place where there is a glimmer of competence is in a couple of quite nice directing choices.  There’s a scene where Jade leaves her new husband with his buddies and sneaks off to bang the guy who runs the ferris wheel, Blackie (don’t worry, he’s white. She Freak has a little person called ‘Shorty’, but to my relief it wasn’t tasteless enough to cast a character named ‘Blackie’ as an African American) that makes a very good use of shadows to tell us what’s going on in two places at once.  Pity the film stock is so crappy it almost ruins it.  I also liked how Jade’s scenes with Blackie have proper dialogue, while Steve woos her in a series of montages.  Jade wants to spend time with Blackie, while her marriage to Steve is something she goes through the motions of and gets out of the way.

She Freak really has no right to tout itself as a remake of Freaks, for the simple reason that it isn’t even about the sideshow.  The older movie had characters like Hans the dwarf and Daisy and Violet the conjoined twins, who were people with relationships and roles in the plot.  In She Freak we never even see the sideshow that so upsets Jade in an early scene.  There’s Shorty, the little guy in a cowboy hat who works for the carnival, but when we see him he’s acting like he’s Steve’s friend and assistant rather than one of the exhibits.  An armless woman and a few people in funny makeup appear at the climax, but we’ve never seen them before and we have no idea who they are.  Where the hell is the ‘Alligator Girl’ the banners promised?

It’s probably all for the best.  If there had been any ‘unusual people’ with major roles in the movie it would doubtless have treated them in a disgusting and exploitative manner.  But what’s on screen shouldn’t even pretend to be a remake of Freaks.

As the owner of the sideshow, Steve insists that he cares about his employees and considers them ‘human beings, just like you and me’. He tells Jade that many of them came from abusive homes, and that in his show they’re able to earn a living and be around others who won’t judge them.  This is a reasonably noble sentiment, but what we are subsequently shown is somewhat at odds with it.  Steve says his employees are also his friends, but he hangs out and plays cards with the other carnies, not with them.  When Shorty tells him that Jade is cheating on him, Steve slaps him like he would a misbehaving child.  This is not how people treat friends and equals.

You may have guessed where this is heading: in one of my favourite running complaints, yep, we have nobody to root for in this movie.  We’re probably supposed to like Steve, but he’s bland and his actions don’t agree with his words insisting he’s a nice, compassionate guy. The character from whose point of view we see the events is of course Jade, but Jade is the villain of the movie and we’re watching it to see her hubris destroy her.  That means the protagonists ought to be the sideshow people themselves, but since we never actually meet them, their revenge is meaningless. In this context they are not human beings, they are not characters, they are merely what Jade has been calling them all along: monsters.

(Shorty, by the way, is played by Felix Silla, who is the closest thing this movie has to a star. He was Cousin Itt on the Addams Family TV show.)

She Freak presents us with several reasons why we ought to dislike Jade.  She’s introduced working at the greasy little diner, where she turns down a date first with a customer and then with her boss.  The customer accepts this gracefully but the boss does not.  The scene tries to show us Jade as an uppity bitch who thinks she’s too good for other people, but her boss is such a slimy toad that we have to take her side.  She tells us how her mother married too young and lost any chance at her own dreams, and while Claire Brennan is a terrible actress, the story is one that inspires sympathy.  When Jade seizes on the carnival as her chance for escape she becomes downright pathetic.  I mean, how awful is your life if a travelling midway and sideshow seems like a step up in the world?

Of course, as the movie continues we find that Jade really is just a snotty bitch whose idea of ‘getting more out of life’ is having a rich husband to carry her bags when she goes shopping. She sees others only as what they can provide to her – Steve for money, Blackie for sex.  This attitude blinds her to others’ true intentions.  She is entirely oblivious to the fact that Blackie is an abusive bastard or that Steve honestly loves her.  The lesson of the movie seems to be ‘beware of women who want more out of life.’  She should have known her place!

This is a pretty nasty attitude towards women but there are other female characters who are treated a bit better.  Pat the stripper tried marriage and domesticity and didn’t like it.  She seems to enjoy working at the carnival and is gregarious and kind-hearted.  We’re invited to leer at her performance but she’s presented as much less trashy than Jade, who considers herself above such things. Pat continues to try to be a friend to Jade for as long as she can, and keeps giving her second chances long after it should be obvious that Jade isn’t interested in reciprocating her kindness. There’s also Olga the fortune-teller, who needed to support herself after her husband died.  The three of them even manage to have conversations that pass the Bechdel test.  In a movie called She-Freak that’s almost impressive.

The ending of She Freak is the only place where it really even seems inspired by Freaks.  The sideshow employees take their revenge on Jade, and we see her on display in the sideshow, licking a snake and wearing some unconvincing Harvey Dent makeup.  This is supposed to feel like justice, in that she has become what she most hated, but it’s been so watered down by the movie’s refusal to humanize the sideshow, or even to show us Jade interacting with them at all, that it has no power to horrify.  It’s a big letdown after the opening scene that promised us a horrible freak that was once a human being.  Why does her burned side have an elf ear?

Invasion of the Saucer Men was not a good movie, at all, but it still deserved better than Attack of the The Eye Creatures.  It’s up for debate whether Freaks was technically ‘good’ but it was an ambitious film with much to say about how human beings treat one another and about the eugenics movement of the 1930s.  In fact, the US National Film Registry considers Freaks one of the most significant films ever made, and it currently boasts a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes.  The fact that writer David Friedman claimed She Freak was a remake of Freaks just proves that, like the audiences who booed that film in 1932, he never bothered to understand it.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #she freak #tw: abelism #all carnival no magic #60s

[atamascolily]

lily watches fma:b, eps. 37-40

I can only watch 2 episodes at a time because I keep having to pause and write angry screeds in a text document. I suppose this is what is called “engaging with the source material” in media studies.

Cut for extreme length and also me ranting about Hohenheim because FUCK THAT DUDE. Also, worldbuilding stuff I don’t understand.

Ed reciting the periodic table to get his mind off his boner for Winry is just perfect.

Meanwhile, Winry's nerding out over combat automail and Kimblee's just sippin' his coffee watching the whole thing

Kimblee got Winry to like him by saying he admired her parents, argghhh

Pride is revealed to be Selim Bradley and harasses Hawkeye because he's a little shit... also it conveniently allows Buccaneer's tunnel team to escape. Why is Pride simultaneously in Central AND Briggs? I guess we'll find out.

Hawkeye going home and seeing her shadow and realizing just how fucked they are is PERFECT.

Kimblee tells Ed he'll give him a Philosopher's stone if Ed helps him find Scar and Marcoh and finish the job at Briggs (i.e., kill everyone to make a stone). Ed asks--very reasonably, I might add--why Kimblee is going along with the homunculi and his answer is basically "for the lulz". (Oh, and they let him kill people instead of locking him up for war crimes.)

(although I'd argue the homunculi only let him do so when it's personally convenient; they have no qualms about keeping his ass in jail otherwise)

(also: please note kimblee ISN'T in jail for war crimes against Ishval, he's in jail because he murdered some Amestrisian guards so no one would know he has a Philosopher's Stone.)

Ed's like, "so Winry, you're a hostage for my good behvior and I might have to comnit mass murder, fyi" AT LEAST HE FINALLY FOUND A WAY TO TELL HER

love how winry forces her way into the convoy and kimblee just goes with it because he's too busy to argue.

(meanwhile, the end credits still have her at the atelier in Rush Valley, lol)

Yoki's flashback in the 1920s film style is HILARIOUS (if biased) account

Scar and Kimblee face off. I'm reminded of the 2003 anime where iirc Scar sacrifices himself to utterly destroy Kimblee halfway through. no such luck here.

I'm still not happy that Scar killed Winry's parents in this version. It was much more interesting when it was the Amestrisian military--specifically, Roy Mustang, one of the so-called good guys.

(It's not that it was morally okay for Scar to kill the doctors who saved his life--or anyone--just because of their race but it's a whole 'nother ballgame when the murder cover-up for a military dictatorship and the perpetrator is a character the audience has come to root for vs. misguided revenge)

What IS interesting here is Scar confronting Miles, asking him how he can serve in the same institution that killed his family. Miles says he's trying to change minds from the inside; Scar is highly skeptical but claims to be glad there are people like Miles in this world (who aren't so consumed by hatred and grief that they can do that kind of work, instead of becoming a vigilante).

one of Miles' troopers has a backpack that's a phone. Okay... WHAT? I guess if they have automail they can have extremely bulk cellphones, but... I don't understand the tech in this world.

brief detour for Al to lecture the chimera prisoners, okay

Yoki actually has a good idea for once!

I don't understand the chimeras saying they want their bodies back - it seems like they can shift from human to their other form and back (they do it a few minutes later) so... I get that they've been experimented upon and it's horrible, but they're not quite in the same desperate straits as Al, who doesn't have a body at all, or Nina Tucker *sob*. Or am I missing something obvious here??

...okay, I think they were moved to DIFFERENT human bodies than their original forms? It's kind of unclear from context.  

Just as I was admiring Winry's piercings for the bajillionth time, a random dude tells her they'll cause frostbite so she takes them out and gives them to Ed as a token. And probably also so Kimblee will suspect the ruse later if/when he notices that detail.

Scar's like, "man, why'd I have to kill the FAMOUS doctors, sigh"

Al has a vision of his body and it's SO FREAKING CREEPY, YO (I like the detail that his nails are really long)

Cut to Father playing with little mini versions of Ed and Al on a transmutation circle in his lair OH YEAH THAT'S CREEPY - he needs 5 people to complete the circle. Ed, Al, and Hohenheim are each little skull-people, Izumi is "a possibility," and that leaves one more... probably Roy.

I love Hawkeye and Roy's verbal codes, Roy hitting on Olivier, Olivier straight up admitting to Bradley she offed Raven, Roy's apparent shift into the flower business, etc, etc.

TIME FOR A FLASHBACK.FINALLY SOME EXPLANATORY BACKSTORY.

Okay, so we meet Slave 23 in an alchemy lab - his master used his blood to make a creepy blob in a flask that is talking to him and names said slave "Van Hohenheim" (because he didn't want to be "Theophrastus Bombastus", lol.) There's a time skip and Hohenheim becomes a skilled apprentice alchemist thanks to the blob's interference and education.

Note: I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT ALL OF THIS. Also, WHY.

(but let's be real, I am distracted by the fact that young!Hohenheim, like old!Hohenheim, is extremely hot.)

The King of Xerxes summons the blob to ask it about immortality. I can already tell this is going to end well.

The blob tells the King the secret - cut to laborers digging a giant circular "irrigation canal". also, people start dying in coordinated attacks at specific geographic points just like in amestris.

I still don't understand how this works, though. In the 03 version, you just need a bunch of people to die all at once aftermaking a few preparations. It was city-scale, not country-scale.

also apparently, there's been a time skip because Hohenheim is significantly older than before (his job is to carry the blob in its flask around, I guess?). He's so excited about the immortality thing yet seems to have NO IDEA what it entails.

The blob made the actual center of the circle where Hohenheim was standing so everyone else dies. I'm not sure how that works because it's only a few meters off--is it really that precise?--but okay, whatever, sure.

Also, the blob regards Hohenheim as "blood kin" because it was made from his blood and... it's not WRONG.

the gate opens, the flask is shattered, Hohenheim is now immortal, and everyone in Xerxes is dead, and... Hohenheim was totally an innocent bystander who just HAPPENED to be caught up in it all?

not gonna lie: I'm not thrilled about this development.

I preferred the 03 version where Hohenheim was actively a bodysnatching jackass who decided to DO BETTER BY NOT DOING THAT. somehow the fact that he ends up immortal without trying here just sticks in my craw.

oh, no, but this means that HE KNOWS EVERYONE IN HIS PHILOSOPHER'S STONE PERSONALLY, DOESN'T HE? AHHHHHH

Father takes on Hohenheim's human form because they have the same blood and it's convenient?(also:hot, though I doubt the blob is interested in sex appeal.)

Father: Isn't it great? immortality, amirite? Hohenheim: *through gritted teeth* Thanks, I hate it.

Father and Hohenheim each got half of Xerxes' population, aka half the power.

turns out this was all a dream-flashback and Hohenheim is actually asleep on a train in the present and Izumi wakes him up.

have they met before? signs point to no because Hohenheim doesn't seem to know her. I'd ask how Izumi recognized him, but Hoheheim looks JUST LIKE ED so it's not like it's *hard*.

most awkward parent-teacher conference ever? but actually izumi starts coughing up blood and Hohenheim realizes she's performed human transmutation and opened a gate and uses alchemy to help her.

he can't restore the lost organs (I'm not sure WHY not - he has a philosopher's stone, that's like the whole point) but it helps.

AND THEN HE JUST COMES OUT AND SAYS HE'S A PHILOSOPHER'S STONE IN HUMAN FORM, ARRGGHH, WHYYYYYY, I don't get why he can't just fix her!!

sig decks hohenheim and I'm so thrilled, even if it doesn't actually take. THANK YOU SIG, I LOVE U.

Also: if Hohenheim had stuck around, he could have healed Trisha and she probably wouldn't have died and his sons would never have lost their bodies trying to bring her back, so FUCK YOU HOHENHEIM, THIS IS LITERALLY ALL YOUR FAULT. (And apparently, the homunculi are too, at least indirectly). FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

#fullmetal alchemist #lily liveblogs

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 186

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 38 - “Precure 5′s Cinderella Story” Date watched: 15 May 2020 Original air date: 28 October 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/Sc5B6vA Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Glass slippers: not even once

This episode introduces an idea that will get explored a fair few times in series down the road: the fairy tale episode. Cinderella is a particularly popular one, because it’s a simple story that little girls can imagine themselves in and there’s a lot of room to play with the narrative. It’s hardly a revolutionary idea for fiction, but it’s still fun to see how Precure plays with it, and the spin in this episode is particularly unusual for manifesting in two different ways. Let’s explore!

The Plot

Milk decides to try copying down the story of Cinderella for writing practice, as she plans to write her own novel a la Komachi, and copying a book is apparently a good way to study story structure. However, she gets bored copying it verbatim, so she decides to put her own spin on the narrative, portraying the cures as the characters. Nozomi is Cinderella, Komachi is the evil mother, Rin and Karen are the evil sisters, and Urara is the witch (no fairy godmother here). Coco fills the role of the prince at the ball and Nuts is another nobleman. All of the characters are strangely self-aware, except for Nozomi. They know the story of Cinderella, they know they’re characters in it, they’re basically going through the motions as the story dictates. When Urara shows up to give Nozomi her magical makeover, she winds up transforming her into other fictional characters first before she gets it right.

this dress should look familiar

Once she’s at the ball, Nozomi trips and falls, getting the attention of Prince Coco, who in turn dances with her. Nuts also approaches Komachi and asks her to dance, commenting that it’s just the kind of story they’re in. Karen and Rin have an exchange where they ask who Coco is dancing with despite both of them knowing exactly who it is. Urara shows up in a gown, and everyone knows she was supposed to be the witch. Did I mention it was weird? And to reiterate, Milk is writing this, these aren’t the real Nozomi and co. transported into the story. Milk has written them to be self-aware. What a strange book. Anyway, she has Nozomi trip and fall and they all end up in a pile on the ground and that’s where her story leaves off when she’s interrupted by the real girls knocking on her door. She hides her writing from them and tries to find somewhere more private to write, but as soon as she steps outside, Bunbee confronts her and decides to suck everyone into the world of her story.

Darkness imprisoning me, all that I see - wait have I used that joke before?

The next thing they know, they’re inside Milk’s Cinderella! But they don’t bother acting out the story, they see Bunbee holding Milk hostage and he turns the chandelier into a Kowaina, so they transform as well.

The Kowaina is able to use reflected light as laser beams to attack the girls so the team scatters. Dream and Rouge focus on fighting Bunbee to try to rescue Milk, but the kowaina keeps getting in their way, so Lemonade, Mint, and Aqua manage to hold it off while the other two get the jump on Bunbee. They free Milk, and then get upset at collateral damage to the castle being caused by their fight. Bunbee taunts that he’ll destroy this world like he destroyed the Palmier Kingdom, but all the girls respond by kicking his ass and the kowaina’s ass and then Dream performs Crystal Shoot to defeat it, and Bunbee flees.

After they detransform, the clock strikes midnight and they realize they’re still in the story, so they all run to get “home”. On the way down the stairs, Nozomi trips and one of her glass slippers flies off, opening a portal back to Natts House.

Somehow the glass slipper came back with them, and they remember that whoever it fits is supposed to marry the prince. Nozomi and Coco share a glance but before she can put it on, Milk LEAPS into the air and lands inside the shoe, claiming it as a perfect fit. Nozomi starts to chase her, demanding her shoe back, while Karen, Komachi, and Rin pick up the scattered pages of Milk’s manuscript. They take umbrage with her portrayal of them in the story, and the episode closes on Nozomi, Karen, and Rin all chasing her up the stairs.

The Analysis

It’s certainly a fun episode, a nice uptick from the last few. The spins on Cinderella are clever and funny, and this cast really makes it work. I do find it weird just how self-aware they seem to be in Milk’s story. One time in high school (probably around the time this show aired actually) I did a creative writing assignment which completely shattered the fourth wall, but my jokes were more absurdist than this. The characters act as though they’re the real Nozomi, Rin, etc who have been transported into the story and know they have to act it out, rather than like they’re characters within the narrative watching as the events unfold. I don’t really understand why it was composed this way, it doesn’t make sense from Milk’s perspective to have them be self-aware and make comments on their knowledge of the story, that sort of gag is much more suited for the characters being sucked into the story, which they did in the second half of the episode anyway. Structurally it may have been better to have them absorbed into the story early in the episode, play out the tale of Cinderella until the mid-point, and then Bunbee reveals himself or something and the rest goes as normal.

Regardless of whether the gags make sense in context, though, they are hilarious. The wicked stepmother being played by the nicest girl of the bunch is peak irony, and Rin and Karen the frequent head-butters as the stepsisters makes me laugh, although they didn’t really play up their little rivalry. None of them take their roles very seriously, which adds to the comedy. The highlight for me has to be when Urara shows up and transforms Nozomi. She cycles through a couple different outfits before she gets it right:

The most notable ones are Momotaro and Princess Kaguya, who are the subjects of famous Japanese fairy tales.

She also gets turned into a bear, a clown, and even a monster! I enjoy the self-awareness as well. Urara showing up at the ball despite and being called out by the others as the witch, the frequent comments about this all being “how the story goes” or what have you. My favorite exchange is when Karen asks who’s dancing with the Prince and Rin tells her it’s Cinderella, the title character, and Karen responds that she knows but she has to stick to the script. I don’t know why but this is peak comedy to me, and my greatest wish is that it be the actual characters who are saying this and not just Milk writing.

The payoff to this, however, is the revelation at the end when Karen, Komachi, and Rin look at Milk’s manuscript and realize exactly how she’s cast them. Even if Karen and Milk have a good relationship, she doesn’t like being exploited in this way, and when Milk remarks that an angry Karen is scarier than an evil sister, she and Rin lose their minds and start to chase her. Komachi, in typical fashion, is upset but not angry. I have said it before but I love the character interactions in this show. They always manage to play off each other wonderfully, and they seamlessly and believably transition between comedy and seriousness.

Curiously, Milk doesn’t insert herself into the story for whatever reason. You would expect her to place herself in the role of Cinderella so she could get the handsome prince, but she seems more content to play god with her friends, and especially to make Nozomi suffer.... although the worst thing she actually does is have her trip and break things a lot. Considering she says she wants to be with Coco romantically, she doesn’t show it much. She fantasizes about it a little bit when she’s in his presence but on some level she seems to realize he’s a better match for Nozomi. I think it’s telling that she automatically pairs up Coco with Nozomi and Komachi with Nuts even in her fantasy.

The villain plot of this episode is rather lackluster. Sucking the girls into the world of Cinderella and then destroying it isn’t as effective as sucking them into Komachi’s novel, which was an actual dangerous setting that Arachnea enhanced in that instance. It doesn’t benefit Bunbee in any way to have them in this setting, and that’s disappointing. I wish they could have better justified it. It does allow for a pretty good fight, but it’s not any better than battles they’ve fought in the real world. My favorite part is when Cure Rouge mule kicks Bunbee, and then a sequence where everyone gets single or pair attacks in on him where their animation is really warped because it’s going fast.

It’s not bad, you can only see this if you freeze-frame, but boy is it weird. And there’s some other animation oddities in this episode. I’m not sure if I’ve brought up before their habit of drawing a shot from far away that has low detail, and either zooming in on it or starting up close and zooming out, but the point is, when they do this, it really enhances how low-quality the drawing is. And there’s a shot of Bunbee that’s drawn this way for some reason. It’s zoomed in on him as a person, he transforms, and THEN the camera zooms out. I can only assume they originally blocked this shot out as being zoomed out always, because otherwise there’s no reason that his human model should be as low-res as it is.

Here’s a fun little bit of continuity I picked up on that relates to Bunbee as well. If you remember way back in episode 14, he used a missile attack that broke Mint Reflection, and they had to team up to deflect it. Well he uses it again here, but this time, Komachi has Mint Shield at her disposal, which we know is stronger, and it’s able to block the missile completely without anyone else’s assistance.

Additionally, one little oddity I picked up on is, of all things, a reused piece of background music! During the scene where Urara-as-the-witch appears to Nozomi-Cinderella, they cue her in with the track “Strange Occurrence” from the FWPC soundtrack. I haven’t noticed any other instances of them using backing tracks from outside this season’s OST, so this sticks out to me.

I want to say a quick piece about these ball gowns that they’re all wearing and then I’ll wrap this up.

If you have a keen eye and a good memory, you might remember Nozomi’s dress and Coco’s suit as being first seen in her brief fantasy in episode 34:

The others are new.... sort of. Chronologically speaking this is their first appearance, but they also show up in the movie which premiered a week after this episode’s broadcast, and I’m reasonably certain, because of how long movies take to produce, they were designed for that first and then incorporated back into the show. Reusing costume designs isn’t a new phenomenon, I pointed out way back in FWPC that they reused the Romeo and Juliet costumes in the dream episode, I just wanted to point it out.

This was a fun episode with some great gags in it, but while they tried to put an original spin on the concept of placing your characters in another established fictional work, the execution fell short of its potential and keeps the episode from being as good as it could have been.

My next review will be the Yes! Precure 5 movie! I always allow myself to indulge on movies, and this one will be no exception, so in order to make it the best review possible, it’s going to take several days of work to get done. I hope to have it out within a week, and I’ll make progress announcements about it on PCD Status, so please be patient and look forward to that!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 kettei!

#Precure #Pretty Cure #Yes! Precure 5 #YPC538 #PCD186

[carolinesbookworld]

tagged by @kabeswaters and @swellwriting <3

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? 0

describe yourself in a hashtag? very similar to @fortisfiliae #stressedanddepressed

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? Harrison Osterfield

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? prepare for disaster

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? um...idk my boyfriend knows basically everything about me sooooooo

what’s your wake up ritual? wake up, turn off alarm (bc with this at-home learning stuff i’ve been waking up like literally 1 min before my alarm goes off???), text good morning to my bf, snapchat, discord bc moonlit fam talks allll night, tumblr, get out of bed, wash face, get dressed, coffee and breakfast it’s very specific

what’s your go to bed ritual? wash glasses and face bc my skin is soo oily by the end of the day so you best believe my glasses be needing washing everyday, shower, say goodnight to fam, text bf for like 15 mins or until he says goodnight, turn alarm on, plug in phone, go to sleep

what’s your favorite time of day? morning but specifically from 7:30 until 9  

your go to for having a good laugh? FRIENDS as in the show

dream country to visit? Australia bc my dad once got to hold a baby koala there and i wanna do that so bad

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? so my family moved before my sophomore year so me and my bff started trying to surprise each other whenever one of us came to visit and the weekend of my birthday, she skypes me as she’s walking around what i thought was her house and then i start hearing an echo and next thing i know she’s standing in the doorway of my room and that was pretty much the best surprise ever

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers converse

vintage or new? new but i love vintage aesthetic i just couldn’t live with it

who do you want to write your obituary? karli @swellwriting bc she is my brain twin and i would be mocking her horrible grammar and spelling from my grave and we would both get a good laugh about it in the afterlife

style icon? the mom i babysit for haha she’s like one of my best friends tho which sounds really weird but it’s true

what are three things you cannot live without? books, dogs, days that are exactly 65 degrees

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? um idk chocolate??

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Sarah J. Maas, Eddie Redmayne, my boyfriend bc i haven’t had dinner with him for 47 days

what’s your biggest fear in life? losing the people i love...and spiders

window or aisle seat? window bc aisle makes me anxious that i’m in people’s way

what’s your current tv obsession? the cw’s nancy drew it’s so good please go watch it

favorite app? instagram, discord, or tumblr, depends on my mood

secret talent? um idk i can draw very realistic portraits of people when i take the time to

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? okay so technically this wasn’t me who did it but i was part of the adventure. when me and my boyfriend were just “friends” ie. liked each other and knew we liked each other but were too scared to admit it. anyway, we had this elaborate plan to shave our youth group leader’s head if we were able to bring in a certain amount of food for the food drive during vbs week. so yeah we spent like three days planning the whole thing out and then decided to go price shopping at walmart with all of our younger siblings bc we needed supervision or something lol to see how many individual things of food we could buy with $20 each we ended up just getting like 20 huge boxes of ramen and then his sister ended up throwing up so we took her home and then went back to church where my car was parked but instead of turning to get to church my boyfriend decides to go straight through the stop light (it was green okay) and spontaneously drive up into the foothills. well we get to the top of the foothills and we’re at the lake and we all get out to look at the city and my boyfriend claims that we need to document this moment so he takes a selfie with all of us and we somehow ended up right next to each other in it and i only found this out like three months ago (this happened back in june) that he only took the picture because he wanted one of us together in case we didn’t start dating lol so sweet and yeah, that was a very long story but i needed context instead of just saying “yeah we drove up a mountain”

how would you define yourself in three words? loyal, anxious, passionate

favorite piece of clothing you own? this dark coral dress that makes my eyes and hair look really pretty

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a hoodie

a superpower you would want? i want to be able to project my thoughts into someone else’s mind bc i’m so bad at explaining stuff sometimes especially when it comes to how i feel

what’s inspiring you in life right now? ACOTAR series by Sarah J. Maas, highly recommend

best piece of advice you’ve received? opening up to more than one person is important because if you lose that person then you’ve lost all your support

best advice you’d give your teenage self? the friends who have stuck around this long are the ones you want to hang onto and the ones that you need are the ones you don’t always see

a book everyone should read? The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

what would you like to be remembered for? being a crazy dog mama

how do you define beauty? confidence in yourself and not caring what others think about you

what do you love most about your body? my metabolism

best way to take a rest/decompress? open a window to feel the breeze and listen to Islands by Hey Ocean! which is so calming to me

favorite place to view art? nature or tumblr

if your life was a song, what would the title be? we’re going with a fob/p!atd theme here and calling it “depression screwed me over so i screwed it back and ended up worse off”

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? probably on my forearm or by my left hip

dolphins or koalas? koalas did i mention that i want to hold a baby koala

what’s an animal that represents you? great dane puppy ie. very excitable but will also take a four hour nap when tired

best gift you’ve ever received? my best friend made this photo collage for me when i moved that is hanging in my room and it has a bunch of pictures of me and her over the years and i just love it

best gift you’ve given? for christmas i gave my boyfriend a hammock and the bookshelf addition of clue, two things he had no idea i would remember him mentioning and his face was priceless. also i made my mom a cake for her birthday this year and she was so happy and said it made her feel very special <3

what’s your favorite board game? clue or ticket to ride (specifically nordic countries)

what’s your favorite color? currently a pale turquoise

least favorite color? any shade of light brown

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore bc i don’t wear makeup enough to validate buying designer, also i don’t really care

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee cof-

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? palindrome is wild because it means a word spelled the same way forwards and backwards but it itself is not one such word

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk

stairs or elevators? stairs

summer or winter? summer but like, only june

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? panera mac n cheese

a dessert you don’t like? red velvet cake which btw is not red-colored chocolate cake as many would have you believe

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing

best thing to happen to you today? i got to put all of my new plants in my windowsill and i named one of them (its name is albert in case you were wondering)

worst thing to happen to you today? idk today’s been pretty good as far as quarantine goes

best compliment you’ve ever received? my boyfriend calls me beautiful all the time and he always reminds me that that is describing looks and personality

favorite smell? coffee or my boyfriend’s sweatshirt for the week after i steal it

hugs or kisses? can i choose both?? depends on my mood mostly but i guess hugs if i just had to pick one

if you made a documentary, would it be about? literally anything relating to the mcu

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? a court of wings and ruin by sjm

lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? literally any female in the teen wolf cast

how do you know you’re in love? hahahaha haha what's love

a song you can listen to on repeat? we fall apart by we as human or uma thurman by fob

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? idk my boyfriend probably, this is something we have discussed in depth

what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? for life to go back to normal

tagging @finnofamerica @woakiees @beskarjedi @outerlacy @swanimagines hahahahaha have funnnnn this took me an hour to answer

#about me #tag game

[elizabethrobertajones]

I've been thinking about Justin Smith and John-lives-Sam. At first I was laughing because I'm sure Jared had a blast playing these ridiculous dicks ^_^ But then I thought, what's the show saying about Sam? Pseudo Steve Jobs Sam was this incredibly repressed no-family pretentious prick, and J Smith, presumably a manifestation of Sam wanting a normal family to be happy, is a Stepford husband (also repressed). Two sides of the same coin, or of a 20-face die?

I’ve also been laughing since Lawboy Sam that “we keep each other human” doesn’t even have to be literal, it’s just like, without hunting with Dean, Sam is the Worst™

I definitely don’t think it’s casting shade on Sam because there’s obviously a LOT of trauma behind Lawboy, who was an extrapolation of Sam’s career path rejecting everything he’d grown up with. Including that he has a notorious serial killer brother. I think in the first draft of the pilot Sam literally did think Dean was a serial killer, or suspected it, and he’d never been in on the secret, so though that’s canon implausible I feel like that sort of emotional background was implied by where they ended up, that perhaps at least Lawboy was rejecting the violence he was raised in but in a really extreme way. And not even in a cool fighting for world peace lawyer friends with Tahani Al-Jamil thing, but just writing off family entirely. Which is a commentary on the absolute extremes of repression Sam can and will inflict on himself, since in 1x01 he was a fair bit of the way there, complaining about his family and throwing himself into his future career full denial ahead. 

I do think though that as much as Sam is superficially the worst, most of Dean’s worst traits especially in season 1 were smoothed out by their story pretty quickly and obviously all the good development Dean’s made out of his own repression and trauma never would have happened in that world so miserable solitary hunter Dean would have been the absolute worst. Especially if he is careless enough to stay on the most wanted list and honestly he’s probably been running around with Gordon for 13 years still trying to impress him and make him think he’s cool without ever realising he is into dudes or that Gordon is the worst :P But that’s all left to speculation, as this season has had a greater focus on exploring Sam so he is actually getting the kind of attention to single him out to play multiple character variants in a short space of time so we even have data to compare, which feels like a total novelty.

(I’m in no way a bitter Sam girl or anything but Carver era just naturally leaned into Dean over Sam and Dabb era has corrected that lean and it sort of feels like suddenly we have tons of Sam exploration and Dabb era Sam is rapidly turning into one of my favourite characters ever based on a whole bunch of stuff that was completely absent since like season 7… Just don’t use this comment to validate bitter Sam stanning of the carver era even as I admit they had something of a point :P)

Anyways. Justin Smith was brilliant because he’s not technically a Sam variant because he was a conjured personality but at the same time it put Sam in that position and made it clear that Sam crumpled into it because it was easy and Cas could totally see how he ended up there, like, almost to the point of forgetting that Sam had succumbed because he was human and Cas hadn’t not done so because he was more emotionally aware after treading this storyline years earlier but rather the more obvious that Chip’s powers didn’t work on him because he’s an angel. It’s a complete have cake and eat it moment about saying this isn’t who Sam is but wow does it say something about Sam anyway. 

I think the context that Lawboy lurks under Sam’s skin helps there because that version of Sam clearly still lost Jess one way or another, and we know that Sam can do stuff like run off with Amelia, which I think seems to be the more immediate emotional parallel - maybe making a point about the sort of denial of self that Sam put himself through by cutting off hunting and looking for Kevin… Whatever motives he had for it, and however justified his emotional breakdown at that point, they kept on bugging Sam for doing it by reminding him of the “hit a dog” comment for years until Robbie sat Dean down and made him apologise in 11x11. At which point Sam was moments from morphing into Dabb era Sam, who first appeared in 11x14 by my reckoning of “who is this guy because I love him!?!” I felt there.

Exploring that territory through the brainwashing and also showing us a Sam who was from the pilot but grown up and awful, and coupled with where Dean’s been at for a while but helpfully confirmed in 14x13 to John’s face, is that Sam needs to be hunting, and definitely seems to need a romantic endgame in a way that Dean ~weirdly~ does not (*cough because he already has it cough*) despite how season 13 for him had been 100% giving him Jack as a son in a main character arc way that neither Dean or Cas got as much focus on - like, even Cas. I’m bitter about Eileen forever, moved my hopes to Rowena, but Sam has still yet to have a girlfriend who is a hunter, and something about Justin Smith really firmly tells us that Sam can’t go back to wanting the white picket fence and ever accomplish it with any authenticity to himself. But also perhaps that he still struggles, even with finally calling the Bunker home, and having a family there of all the other parts except a wife, that either this is still his perception of what marriage and endgame should/has to be or that he can’t conceptualise marriage existing in his life in the Bunker, despite the example Dean n Cas are setting in front of his nose.

He also got to see Mary briefly have John around for that family dinner but then have to let him go, for perfectly valid other reasons, but comparing it to his dream in 13x21 of the family dinner, which included all 3 generations of their family, in their non traditional set up that Dean claimed to John was what he had instead of the white picket fence, we got a weird glimpse of the nuclear family unit that SPN spends the rest of its time rejecting in favour of family not ending in blood. That wasn’t particularly framed as for Sam’s eyes but it’s definitely another example of endgames and marriage in the hunting world that he got to glimpse and the surrealty of setting the library table for a fancy sit down meal for a nuclear family instead of them stuffing their faces with pizza at the war table, which had been Sam’s dream birthday party, definitely shows there’s still conflict going on there in how family is being presented. With Dean apparently fully chill and at peace with his family life, and these examples for Sam, it’s definitely all focused on him what he ends up wanting and what he can be happy with, and what ideas he has to let go. 

(I’m not sure this is going to go anywhere this season but it’s definitely a necessary bit of psychoanalysis for Sam, who was pretty much legally dead in the wants and desires department between like 8x10 > Dabb era)

#Asks #14x13 #14x15 #saaam #sam analysis #sam gets a dog #... that's just my general endgame tag #but you have to know how much it delighted me to see Sam and Rowena fake married with a puppy #even if there were... extenuating circumstances... to how they got that dog

[nadziejastar]

What’s the relationship with Disney like? Disney’s attitude to games has changed in recent years to become focused on mobile and social games. Have you noticed their attitude change much?

The relationship with Disney has [remained] the same. Actually the contact person at Disney is still the same person from Kingdom Hearts 1, and Disney has given us lots of requests in terms of the Kingdom Hearts franchise and they did mention some smaller titles for other platforms, but our common, most important goal was to [complete] Kingdom Hearts 3. So it’s the same.

Oh, for sure. I get sad when I see Nomura’s old interviews. The above quote is from June 2013. He was so much more upbeat. KH3 actually had a plot back then, too. Sora would look for the ‘Key to Return Hearts’.  

Disney has changed tremendously since 2006. Obviously Marvel, Star Wars, Pixar, totally different style of animation. How your relationship with Disney and its properties evolved over the past 10 years or so in the context of Kingdom Hearts? Tetsuya Nomura: I can say that it has actually been increasingly difficult to get approvals from Disney. That's mainly because in the past Kingdom Hearts titles, the creator wasn't around anymore or the team that used to create those titles wasn't there anymore. There was just this one person that we would just have to go to and they would approve it and we'd be fine and good to go. But because we've been featuring recent titles, they still have existing teams for existing creators that are still working in Disney and still working on a certain title. That feedback process just has been a little bit more difficult than before. And each team would have a different set of rules and guidelines and they would say different things, or they would look at different things. It's just been a little different that how it used to be because Kingdom Hearts is a bigger title than it was before. I think that whenever we would bring our previous titles, a lot of people at Disney, and this is my assumption, but I do assume that they probably didn't know what Kingdom Hearts was. They'd go, "What's Kingdom Hearts? I have no idea." But now that it's become a bigger title, a lot more people have been involved in than before. In that sense the relationship with Disney has changed quite a bit. Emotional changes I don't really know if there has been any changes emotionally for me. But at least physically I can say those were the changes that we had with Disney.

After Versus XIII got cancelled, he became a lot more negative in his interviews. This is from June 2018. Five years later. Around the same time as Versus XIII, BBSV2 got cancelled. And also his relationship with Disney changed. So in a way, even KH3 was kinda taken from him, like Versus XIII was. Nomura was trying to dodge the subject of his emotional changes toward the KH series, but there obviously were some.

You've grown up as a person and as a designer alongside the players and it's been so long since the last Kingdom Hearts was released. How has your perspective on making the game changed over time? Do you still have that passion for it? Or is it just like you feel more of a responsibility to people to make it and end it?

I'm getting older now, so my body really can't take all that difficulty anymore. When I was younger I was definitely more aggressive and I was the one pulling everyone forward, but now there's a lot more energetic staff around me who are more aggressive, so I feel like I'm more like a sage now. Like I'm in the sidelines just telling people what to do. The Kingdom Hearts series has become a huge title nowadays and back then it was more like I was making it secretively in the corner, but now that a lot more people are involved I do feel that it's not my title anymore, it's everyone's title. And just talking about all this … It actually kind of makes me really sad.

This is another interview from June 2018. He said that with all the people involved, KH3 wasn’t really his title anymore and it made him really sad. At this year’s E3, Kitase said that the FF7 Remake was the first game in a long time that Nomura has been really heavily involved with. So, it sounds like Nomura wasn’t as heavily involved with KH3 as he was with past KH games.

Kingdom Hearts means a lot of things to a lot of people. For some, it represents their childhood or it's a story about friendship. What does Kingdom Hearts mean for you?

It's probably the title that represents who I am. When I was a starting as a developer, like I wasn't an industry veteran yet, when I was creating Final Fantasy titles with Mr. Sakaguchi, the father of Final Fantasy, and at that time, he said that Final Fantasy is a game that has everything in it. I don't think that there are that many people left in Square Enix that have actually worked with him on Final Fantasy. Of course, Final Fantasy is still continuing on--they still are committing to push out titles. But when I started creating Kingdom Hearts, that was when I kind of had this time away from Final Fantasy. And of course, I am working on a Final Fantasy title right now, but it was at a time when I was not working on a Final Fantasy title, and I really wanted to realize what Sakaguchi-san said about Final Fantasy, that it is a game that incorporates everything, to Kingdom Hearts. So I brought that idea to Kingdom Hearts. Currently looking at the newer Final Fantasy titles, to be honest, I don't think it really incorporates that idea of having everything. So I think that Kingdom Hearts, to me, is a game that has everything in it.

Nomura actually said that Versus XIII was more of his preference than KH. He enjoyed working on it because it was a break from the super happy, always positive KH universe. 

Nomura: "Kingdom Hearts is not too realistic, but I do want my players to grasp a sense of reality from it as well. For example, I'm sure you had friends when you were young, a good group of friends, but as you grow older things change and it doesn't always stay the same." 

And I think that’s why Lea is (was?) my favorite KH character. Versus XIII was a “fantasy based on reality���. I got the sense that Nomura used Lea/Axel to inject a lot of himself and his preference for realism into KH, since he was so different from other KH characters. He was an adult with a dark backstory. He and his best friend were human lab rats. His best friend later became a sociopath and is possessed. But he longs for the times when they were innocent and happy. Axel was very complicated. I DID get that sense of realism Nomura wanted to convey in his character. That’s why I loved him so much. There was such genuineness in his dialogue.

But I think what Nomura was doing with him and Saïx was so subtle it went over most people’s heads and they couldn’t appreciate it. It sucks because the subtlety made it even better. He basically lived inside the world of his memories. But he hid all of that from everyone (even the player) by smiling. Because he knew happy-go-lucky kids like Roxas and Xion wouldn’t be able to understand him. He was the most realistic and human character for me. He had a dark backstory, but he was still charming, intelligent, and funny. He had many layers. It was devastating to see him get dumbed-down and turned into a caricature of himself in KH3. Flat comic relief whose dark backstory was totally stripped from him. Just like that...poof. Gone. Now it’s all about Retcon X.

October 2014

“If I had to pick, I am a person more on the dark side like Xehanort and co., I harness the burning anger in my heart into what I create,” “Kingdom Hearts 3 current development explodes very much in this sense.”

When I first saw this quote, I had no idea what Nomura meant by channeling his anger into KH3. After playing KH3, I finally understood. That’s why there was so much breaking the fourth wall. Axel was Nomura’s mouthpiece. He was basically acknowledging that the story was crap, like during the scene where he reunited with Ventus and was commenting about how stupid the whole situation was. That B.S. ending? The result of Nomura’s depression. Things aren’t the same anymore. They’ve changed. The whole game just felt like it was phoned in. Nobody who actually cared about the story would do what they did with Kairi and also Lea and Isa’s backstory. KH3 was just so depressing for me because of that. Reading Nomura’s interviews just made it sadder.

2018 Famitsu interview

Tetsuya Nomura's cats were included. He speaks of how his cats cheered him up when he was depressed and how they inspire his work on Kingdom Hearts 3. -The reason he got these cats: Our family really loved cats and dogs, so we always had them in the house. For this reason, when I got a little depressed I was recommended to get cats.

I was really looking forward to Versus XIII when it was announced. Everything about it just sounded so cool. The story was supposed to be the saddest FF, but it would still have fun and humor in it. It was going to be like a road-trip. Noctis’s family was involved in organized crime, like the Yakuza. I still remember the tagline that was a quote from Hamlet. “For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Nomura said Noctis wasn’t going to be super serious like Squall. He was shy and awkward. Somnus is still an awesome song. The Noctis in the above picture just felt totally different from the Noctis in FFXV. They give off a completely different vibe. 

After I beat KH3, I was so disappointed with it, I started looking for a bunch of info on Versus XIII, since that game’s cancellation obviously influenced KH3 so much. I have seen a lot of stuff from people who claim to have leaked info about Versus XIII. I find this particular leak to be credible since the person correctly leaked the plot of FFXV six months in advance:

The game centered about death, ghosts and hallucination/dreams. Noctis killed the female protagonist before the game started but he didn't remember. Ardyn was Noctis ancestor and he was responsible of the crystals disappearing over time (the only one left was Lucis crystal). Regis died in front of Noctis because his bodyguards betrayed him. The protagonists had to leave the capital because their nation lost the war.

The game didn't focus on summons that much (they still existed) and instead there were actual gods which didn't appear physically. One of the gods was the main antagonist of the first FF game. Each nation was inspired by a different capital of the world. The empire was using ghosts as weapons. Ravus wanted to kill Noctis for having killed her sister. The game ended in another dimension which was supposed to be their version of the after-life.

This sounds a lot like what Nomura would do with a story, and is consistent with the info and trailers about Versus. I think I remember one where people were being turned into ghosts/monsters. The goddess Etro was supposed to be worshiped in Lucis. And I remember one of the things that interested me most about Versus XIII was that Noctis was able to see some light in the sky that others couldn’t, and it was due to having had a near-death experience as a child. That sounded SO cool.

I can believe the whole Stella being a ghost thing, because Tabata said they had to create Luna because Stella just wouldn’t make sense in the new story. The dreams/hallucinations part sounds cool to me, but is probably thought of as being “too weird” for a mainstream game. Also, the fact that the game ended in the after-life stood out for me. KH3 already had something similar with the Realm of Sleep. But they tried to connect it more with the after-life, even though Nomura previously said there was “no concept of death” in KH. This made me think he was still hung up on Versus while making The Final World. 

I definitely think that the original Versus XIII would have been a much more interesting game, since Nomura was SO passionate about it. The script was finished, too. It was jsut scrapped. The voice actor of Noctis, Suzuki Tatsuhisa, mentioned during the release date live stream that he still has the Versus scripts at home that he reads on his days off. And he said he couldn’t figure out how to move from the Versus Noctis to XV Noctis and struggled to find middle ground. 

He said he had a hard time getting into the character towards the end of the game, so he had to re-do his lines from the middle of the story again a few times to get it right. The fact that he still reads the Versus scripts tells me that he was really disappointed when Versus became XV. It sounds like he enjoyed what Nomura/Nojima wrote a LOT more and had a hard time masking his displeasure.

I stand behind what Sakaguchi said about big budget games development: it’s not worth it anymore. But they are also very disorganized. The staff -200 souls- had to work when the story still wasn’t completely defined. In fact, this story kept changing every 3 months and the definitive delivery date for the game was for the end of 2014. ---Roberto Ferrari

Sadly, the big budget style of production seems to be at the root of why Square Enix’s console games have been so soulless. KH is not for everybody, but it was a series that was made with passion. I actually enjoyed the handheld KH games more than KH3 because they felt like Nomura was able to do what he wanted creatively, instead of feeling like it was made to appease a focus group. I would give up the super fancy graphics in a heartbeat to get KH0.5 and the original vision Nomura had for KH3.

[blessuswithblogs]

Katsura Hashino is a Big Fat Creep and Other Observations

(for the record all uses of the word “queer” in this post are meant in the academic sense as shorthand for a wide umbrella group of gender and sexual minorities and not as a slur i hope that is evident from my past history and status as Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls but let it never be said i don’t cover my ass)

A few weeks ago, Catherine: Full Body Edition or whatever gross subtitle it got was released. Catherine has had a very checkered history as one of those games that is just kind of slimy, though it has endured with a cult following and a surprisingly successful competitive community by way of the game's multiplayer mode where you compete to see who can climb The Dream Sex Tower the best. Honestly, I don't know that much about Catherine because it is difficult to think of a game that repulses me more on a visceral level, but I want to do my due diligence and not talk out my ass. One of Catherine's initial claims to fame was that it was by Atlus Japan, specifically the same people who made the much beloved Persona games. This is evident in the game's art, music, overall style of delivery, and being basically hate speech.

The original Catherine was a greasy, misogynistic mess with some really vile politics about trans people in particular. Deadnaming your own fictional character in the credits is some next level petty malice. Full Body returns with, stupendously, a double down on this ideology that is actually kind of comical in how convoluted it gets in trying to decry the Degenerate Queer Lifestyle. The game adds a scene with Rin, who is apparently a gay crossdresser from space(???????), getting slapped away and running away crying from their love interest after he learns The Terrible Truth. In another game, with a different writing team, this could have been a teachable moment about the destructive consequences of taking too narrow a view of human sexuality and gender expression, but as it stands it's just another tiresome example of Trans Panic with a sheepish admonishment from the other characters that gosh maybe slapping their hand away was a mean thing to do.

So we're already firing on all cylinders here, but the best is yet to come. The bulk of the outcry comes from the addition of a weird "true ending" cutscene where Catherine, who is also from space, goes back in time to make everybody's life better. Or something. This is already pretty stupid on the face of it because its Fucking Time Travel Out of Nowhere, but the scene then depicts a pre-transition Erica, the game's trans character who got deadnamed in the credits the last time. There has been a lot of exceptionally tedious discussion about exactly when this scene takes place in the game's chronology and what it means for Erica, and some brain geniuses have tied their thinkmeats into pretzel shapes to prove definitively that all this means is that she delayed her transition in this Better Timeline, that might not actually be better, because Catherine is weird and selfish, maybe. And. Fine. Sure. Okay. Let's accept that for now. Given the game's previous track record, and continuing insistence on using Erica's pretransition name in the credits even in the rerelease, it is meanspirited at best to show her before her transition at all (many real life trans people would be utterly mortified for such a thing to happen to them) and overall just in poor taste and pretty lousy writing at that because it's so unclear what any of this actually means. Since the game has not yet received an official english localization, the context of this scene is to begin with muddled by amateur translators on the internet all with slightly conflicting interpretations of the scene. It's a fucking mess, by and large.

So I would disagree that this is a fake controversy manufactured by those damnable essjaydubyas. Even with the most charitable interpretation possible, it's still just really sketchy and gross. Erica's english voice actress, who seems to be very fond of the character, has been vocal about her dissatisfaction with the new scenes on twitter and has recently come out to say that the localization team is going to try and take some steps to make things less blatantly hateful. Between this and Jennifer Hale's recent tweet about it being time to grab our pitchforks in response to Activision-Blizzard's mass layoffs, I'm starting to think that voice actresses are pretty cool. I mean honestly I always thought that but we're getting off topic. One of the top competitive Catherine players, who was by all accounts really hyped for the release of Full Body, just straight up said on twitter that he was quitting the game because he couldn't support something like that in good conscience. I don't know if he's remained consistent on this position since, but it was a bold statement, to say the least.

Now, whenever an incident like this happens, the inevitable string of More-Progressive-Than-Thou white boys who watched an anime once and thought the bouncing titties were a little much appears to start pontificating about the cause of such untoward elements in media. And it's basically all just a bunch of Orientalist bullshit. Every time. For whatever reason, people still really love to be racist towards Japanese people because it's still sort of socially acceptable when couched in the language of "oh japan!!! ecks dee" and so the neverending procession of softboi neckbeards declared with confidence that Atlus's continual inclusion of Actual Hate Speech towards LGBTQ+ people was the result of the inscrutable Japanese Mind and its Mysterious, Antiquated Culture. Many mentions of the philosophy of Wa, wherein the nail that stands out gets pounded down, and lots of very lovely psuedointellectual claptrap. Evidently, people just seem to think that queer people don't live in Japan, or that they don't fight just as hard as we do for equal rights and protections under the law. They do live there, and they do fight as hard as we do. Obviously. You fucking imbeciles.

In their quest to clearly illustrate their moral and intellectual superiority to the backward, collectivist Asiatic Peoples, these highly reasonable and enlightened manboys forsook a very important logical principle: Occam's Razor. Sure, you could blame jApAnEsE cUlTuRe for Atlus's impropieties and just conveniently ignore all of the fantastic queer media it has produced in recent years like My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, Horou Muskou, Nier Automata, etc. Or you could go for the simpler and more logically consistent option: Katsura Hashino is a big fat creep. Who is Hashino, you ask? He is the director of every Persona game since 3, as well as Catherine, and all of these games' gross shit and self-contradictory themes of self-acceptance and rebellion against an unust society (unless you're gay, ew) can probably be traced to him and his gaggle of accomplices. In addition to the fact that Atlus games not by Hashino's team tend to just. not have these problems to nearly as large a degree or even at all, Hashino himself has gone on record saying some really kind of hilariously backwards shit. Most infamously, when asked why in Persona 3 literally all of your social links with girls ended up with Hot Makeout Sessions regardless of like. Previously Committed to Relationships. Hashino simply said he couldn't imagine friendships between boys and girls. So that's where his brain is at. Since subsequent games in the series graciously allowed the player the option to not be a Huge Cheating Bastard, one can assume either his moral development has progressed past early puberty or somebody on the team convinced him this wasn't actually a normal thing to think. Given the man's output, I would say it's probably the latter.

It is because of this man's decisions and behavior that so many people are simply unwilling to give Full Body the benefit of the doubt. The game's director is, quite simply, a well known louse, and not in the endearing, Roger Smith way. Once again, it requires far fewer leaps in logic to assume that Hashino is just being a bigoted creep again than to go through some fuckin galaxy brain Kingdom Hearts-esque dot-connecting to justify it as just a LITTLE BIT bigoted not REALLY SUPER bigoted, or simply blaming the whole ordeal on some strange ineffable property of the Japanese Character. He's a gremlin! An overgrown manchild with a warped view of human interaction and society put in charge of games about exploring those concepts for.... reasons. My bet is that his dad knew somebody and then Persona 3 was successful enough for the rest of Atlus to just go "alright fine let him do it while we do mainline games". Unfortunately, Persona became so popular that the mainline games sort of switched places and became side-projects, at least in the eyes of the Western consumer base (which let's be real is the only perspective that any of these Serious Online Commentators even pretend to care about).

So I would once again caution everyone against just assuming that Japan is some sort of quaint anachronistic country of weird gameshows and backwards social mores. This is both a gross oversimplification of an entire culture and the struggles of their own subgroups and minorities and simply a grand display of lacking self-awareness. Like have you fucking seen the guys in the White House? The preposterous media that gets routinely greenlit on prime time TV, theaters, and digitally? Don't make me laugh. The West has no claim to any sort of progressive superiority to anybody else. The white cishet bubble of comfortable middle class affluence might distort what you see of the rest of the world, but believe me: we got problems too. Big ones. Even the presupposed bastions of Demsoc Virtue like Sweden have an awful track record of discrimination and eugenics. But Dazzlyn that's different, you cry! All of these groups and forces don't represent the entirety of Western culture! Yes. Exactly. Oppression is not culturally bound like cuisine or art. It is a nasty, universal thing that worms its way into everything, and it will use any excuse it can find to murder and exploit. It's against Christian values! It represents a genetic defect that must be purged! It's ostentatious and immature! The list goes on. And every time you giggle and go "oh those silly japanese" you're just being another expression of the same vile ideas.

I'm going to relate some of my own personal experiences, because as a noted Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls, I feel like maybe I have some authority on the matter? Just a little? Enough that if I make a well reasoned argument it can't be dismissed out of hand? Let's hope. So, what's the gayest game I've ever played? Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn. Look yeah I know I'm talking about it again but come back this is important. Final Fantasy is a series that has had a lot of LGBTQ+ undertones pretty much since forever, and while they have largely been in keeping with the times in terms of tact and representation (the Crossdressing Cloud debacle is a deeply bizarre, uncomfortable sequence in a lot of ways but there's also some genuine Good Gay Shit in 7 like Cloud's surprisingly cute and genuine date with Barret. I think. It's... it's been a while.), by God, it was at least there, and 13 had honest to god Lesbians, Harold in Fang and Vanille. I don't want to say it has pedigree, but the series has dabbled. XIV continues on the tradition with a vibrant world that's actually got a lot of characters and NPCs that are just incidentally there and kind of gay. The adventurer couple that befriended the Tonberries in Wanderer's Palace, a vendor that appeared in the Rising cosplaying as Minfilia at her wife's behest, a miqote lady bathing in the oasis that lets on she wouldn't mind having cute girls stare at her instead of grabby boys, every horny Elezen in Ishgard, Samson and Guydelot (shoutouts to Lulumi Lumi), and probably more that I've missed. More than that, though, is that because FFXIV is an MMO, it is by necessity a social space, and in my experience it has been one that has gone out of its way to be inclusive to everybody, from the GMs handling reports of abusive behavior right up to the top decision makers who made same sex player marriages a thing just immediately on its implementation and letting boys wear the gold saucer bunny costume too (albeit after quite a bit of pleading). The game's got a huge queer community of which I am kind of part of sort of. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to it. Hell, they've recently partnered with a pride group in Australia to have an FFXIV float in a parade. I usually turn my nose up at such things as meaningless corporate grandstanding, but it does seem to be more meaningful than two boy pastas getting married or rainbow colored oreos because like. Cheesy as it sounds, it's more than just a brand to a lot of people, it's a place, sometimes the only place, they can go to feel safe and accepted in a community. Having official, vocal support from the dev team means genuinely a lot, I think.

Now, there is one quality about this game of which I am speaking that might strike you as noteworthy: it is Japanese. It's made by Japanese people, in Japan, under a Japanese company. A middle aged Japanese man goes up on stage in Gunbreaker cosplay to speak in Japanese about the upcoming expansion, while a meme obsessed gremlin translates for him. It's not perfect, there are problems, etcetera, why do I even need to qualify that in 2019, when everything sucks, god. But it's better than most things. I hope that it serves as an example to people that even in the supposedly regressive countries of the world, queer communities are still living, fighting, and sometimes even being heard, and that the only thing you're enriching by dismissing them wholesale as socially backwards is your own internet penis. And nobody fucking cares about that you simpleton. I expect 5.0 to be gayer than ever before because they're taming up with Yoko Taro to do a Nier themed raid and by the 12 Warrior of Light Dazzyn Reed is going to kiss 2B or an equivalent model right on the robot lips.

#catherine #persona #ffxiv #lgbtq #final fantasy #nier #japan

[startofamoment]

I HAD THE CRAZIEST B99-TGP “CROSSOVER” DREAM THE OTHER NIGHT

Kevin and Shawn were the same person. For the most part, he was living a human life as Kevin Cozner – Professor and Head of the Classics Department at Columbia University, husband to Captain Raymond Holt. His identity as an Immortal Being was a complete secret that not even Holt knew about.

Somehow, despite being a true human with no idea of his own husband’s immortality, Holt knew about The Good and Bad Places and was trying to help Jake not end up in The Bad Place.

At some point (presumably after Jake did something terrible), Holt decided he was a lost cause. Kevin, not enjoying seeing his husband so miserable and hopeless, tried to tell him everything... except Holt refused to believe him and just kept thinking that Jake put him up to this. 

My alarm woke me up right before this crazy dream could progress further than that, but I created a bunch of additional headcanons with some help from @jokeperatla and @proofthatihaveaheart! (Be warned that this is gonna take a hella cliche turn, as human-demon love stories often do.) 

Kevin wanted to torture humans before they even reached The Bad Place, but he was more interested in causing mental/emotional torment than the typical physical suffering... thus the role of classics professor. 

Meeting and falling in love with Raymond Holt, a man most definitely destined for The Good Place, was the last thing Kevin expected and is possibly the highest form of torture for a demon. 

As head honcho of The Bad Place High Council, Kevin’s free to do whatever he wishes without his worldly actions being monitored. Since he works remotely and only communicates via video conference, none of the other Immortal Beings know much about his personal life. 

Kevin personally arranges the most special of tortures for everyone who mistreats his Raymond for when they reach The Bad Place.

Since he technically doesn’t need sleep, Kevin sneaks out of bed every so often to call up his subordinates and get work done. Holt, while mostly-asleep, overhears a few of these conversations and subconsciously picks up bits and pieces about The Good and Bad Places. This happens enough times that he’s eventually convinced some higher being is speaking to him about the afterlife. 

At some point, Kevin accidentally leaves a page or two of notes from his work binder somewhere around their house. When Holt stumbles upon this, all his suspicions about life after death are confirmed. 

Holt becomes obsessed with trying to get into The Good Place. Of course, if anything, his “good” actions only decrease his total point score because his motivations aren’t right. As much as Kevin would love for his husband to go to The Bad Place and for them to be together for all eternity, he doesn’t want him to have to go through any torture. Holt’s fake altruism streak comes to an end when Kevin, somewhat out of context, says: “You’re a good person, Raymond. This is why I love you.” 

When Holt transfers to the Nine-Nine, Kevin’s prepared to add more people to the long list of Raymond’s Homophobic and/or Racist Co-Workers, i.e. the list he’s passing on to only his most ruthless torturers. He’s surprised when they turn out to be genuinely nice people who love Holt almost as much as he does. Seeing this, he’s suddenly struck with the feeling that he doesn’t really want any of them to be tortured.

Holt knows Jake’s a good person, but there’s just some part of him that’s worried the detective’s done enough reckless, self-serving things to land him in The Bad Place. He takes it upon himself to try to guide Jake, but it quickly becomes obvious that this is a lot harder than training Cheddar to do a new trick. After Jake ignores his advice for the umpteenth time, Holt sits him down and tells him everything he knows about the afterlife.

Jake’s not entirely sure Holt is right about The Good and Bad Places, but he does respect him and appreciate all his help, so he at least tries to make better choices. This isn’t always easy because his robot of a captain has such a strict moral compass, and he sometimes can’t help but just go with his gut. 

Holt gives up after Jake goes against his direct orders and does something gravely wrong despite having the best intentions. This sends him on a spiral of disappointment and helplessness, ultimately leading him to question everything he believes in. Kevin gets home from work to find him in this state and decides it’s time to come clean about everything. It takes showing him his full binder of notes to convince him he’s telling the truth.

Kevin’s greatest fear, apart from inevitably getting separated from the love of his life after he dies, is him finding out about his true self and leaving him altogether. Still, he knows that he doesn't deserve this pure human being at all and only wants the best for him. “Raymond, if you want me to pack my bags and leave, I completely understand." To his surprise, all his husband does is kiss him and nod. “I suppose I always knew you were a demon in bed."

It’s impossible for Kevin to know exactly how Jake is doing in terms of the point system, but he does want to help him get into The Good Place especially if it makes his Raymond happy. He decides to orchestrate Jake and Amy getting together because she seems like the best person to whip his moral compass into shape. He’s floored when, even before he starts to intervene, the two detectives fall in love on their own. 

Kevin’s true identity remains a secret, but Gina once catches him making the snarkiest of comments about Margo and her trip to Scottsdale. Following this, they have weekly meetings specifically to roast people. He thinks that maybe she’d do well as a torturer or architect, if she ever did feel like leaving The Good Place. 

Kevin’s lost count of the number of times he’s tried to figure out how to stay with his husband in the afterlife. He’s considered creating a perfect neighborhood for the two of them, one that he’ll claim is an experiment of a new kind of torture to avoid questions from the High Council. He knows this wouldn’t work though because he really only has jurisdiction over people in The Bad Place; he wouldn’t be able to put his Raymond in any sort of neighborhood since he’ll be all the way in The Good Place. 

After deliberating for ages, Kevin decides that his only shot at maybe getting to be with his husband for all eternity is giving up his immortality. Even then, something like this has never been done before, and it’s hard to say whether the point system will take all his actions into account or only what he’s done on earth. The act of giving up his immortality and power for just one person holds such great value but could also be determined to be something done for his own happiness. As far as he can tell, it’s impossible to predict whether he could end up in The Good Place.

AAAAND... SCENE! Y’all, I honestly have no idea how this crossover AU would end. Does Kevin automatically get placed wherever Holt is because they’re soulmates and his utopia wouldn’t be complete without him? Does Kevin bargain with the higher ups at The Good Place and beg to work for them instead? Does Holt become the equivalent of an angel, and do they then proceed to have the most illicit romance of all time? Really, your guess is as good as mine. 

#b99 au #tgp au #b99 x tgp #raymond holt #kevin cozner #jake peralta #amy santiago #gina linetti #b99 #tgp #my stuff #IDEK WHAT THIS DREAM WAS Y'ALL #can we just appreciate the contrast in expressions between shawn and kevin #i mean i know it's just a photo but #you can clearly see the evil demon vs caring but snarky husband #i'm sorry this is so long but also i'm not sorry #i just love kevin so much

[neni-has-ascended]

The early Disney Princesses are more than You give Them Credit for

(Neni’s Advent Calendar, Day 16)

Older Disney Princesses get a bad rep. There’s absolutely nothing to dispute in that statement. As well-regarded and respected their movies are for their technical achievements and beautiful animation alone, whenever you hear people talk about the actual characters appearing in these movies, especially the protagonists, you will rarely find people lose a nice word about them. Accusations of Snow White, Cinderella and Aurora being anti-feminist characters, teaching little children, regardless of gender, harmful lessons and values, are easy to make and thus a dime a dozen. They’ve been parodied, ridiculed and done off as an archetypal relic of the past century’s culture, by everyone and their mothers, including Disney themselves.

Maybe that’s just the reason Disney have been trying so hard to “modernize” these characters, by rewriting their stories and personalities to the point of being non-recognizable in their recent slew of remakes. 2014′s “Maleficent” and the 2015 version of “Cinderella” come to mind. But do we really need remakes like that? Don’t get me wrong, the original films were clearly products of their time, but the way Disney advertises these reimaginings as “updated” and “feminist” makes it rather clear that the only reason they exist is to please the crowd who’s convinced the original versions of these characters are “harmful” or “badly written” by modern standards. And that’s just not a sentiment I can get behind at all. 

Let me make one thing clear before I continue: I did not grow up with the original three “Disney Princess” movies, and for most of my life, I only knew them from clips that would play in-between Disney Afternoon shows or hear-say. Well, I may have seen Cinderella once, when I was 7, but that was it. I just had no interest in watching those movies. As a child I found older Disney movies to be - as Cinderella would probably put it - “frightfully dull and boring”, and stuck to watching The Little Mermaid and Mulan on VHS.  

However, as my knowledge of aforementioned quote should probably tell you, by now I have actually watched and enjoyed all three of these movies. Quite recently, actually. A combination of a Christmassy need to watch old animated movies, as well as having an on-going Kingdom Hearts BbS fanfiction in the works that will eventually require me to write in-character versions of the three original princesses makes it possible. 

Now, due to how popular culture has indoctrinated me over the years to believe that classic Disney Princesses are flat, uninteresting characters, who only exist to get themselves into a pickle and be saved from it by equally flat, uninteresting princes, making the whole endeavor only worth the watch for the beauty of its animation, I didn’t expect much when I absentmindedly put on the original version of Cinderella on Netflix one night before going to bed. In the end, I was blown away. Cinderella... was nothing like what I was led to believe she would be. I’d been promised a barbie doll who spends her life doing nothing but enduring being bossed around by cartoonishly evil villains with a dumb smile and dreaming of being mother to a nuclear family until Prince Charming comes and sweeps her away with no effort at all. Instead, what I found was a snarky, spirited girl, who is quite aware of the abuse she’s being put through and holds a healthy amount of loathing and spite for her abusers (Stockholm syndrome clearly hasn’t gotten ahold of this one, it didn’t), yet endures it because she’s waiting for a good opportunity to free herself from this lousy situation without ending up homeless and starving on the streets. The term “prince” is only mentioned once by her, in passing, until long after she’s actually met the guy, and meeting him was never her goal when she tried to get to that ball. She just wanted to defy Lady Tremaine for once in her life by going out and partying, because she felt like it. No other reason. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

What I’m trying to get across here is: My first encounter with the actual movie Cinderella made me wonder, how much of what we take for granted about these old “Princess Movies” due to how they’re represented in popular culture is actually accurate, and how much of it is just flanderization and simplification, making an aggregation of smaller flaws in otherwise great movies appear much bigger and more damning than they actually are? Maybe these movies are a whole lot less regressive than we often give them credit for. I’m not necessarily saying they’re “progressive”, heaven’s no, but in some ways, I found the 1950 version of Cinderella’s character to be a lot more independent and strong than her 2015 version, which is claimed to be the “feminist” one, and the less said about what “Maleficent” does to... pretty much every single female character from the original movie, the better. 

So, here I am. I already had strong opinions on the three original princess movies after watching them this month, and watching “Maleficent” was the final straw. In honor of this season’s tendency to replay the corniest of fairy-tale movies ad-nauseum and my own love for corny fairy-tales, I’m gonna take a quick look at the three original Disney Princesses within the context of their movies and see how well they - in my honest opinion - still hold up by today’s standards. Where applicable, I’ll talk a little about the remakes as well. Well then, let’s go!

Snow White (1937)

This is the least defendable movie of the bunch, but for the probably most respectable reasons. 

I mean, let’s face it, this was Walt Disney’s - and actually, anyone’s, period - first go at a feature length animated movie, and despite how stunningly beautiful a film it still is, BOY, it shows. The whole film, from start to length, feels a lot like an overly long Silly Symphonies short with a monstrous budget, which is basically what it was. These people didn’t know how to make an animated feature film yet, so they used the next best experience they had as a model, and while it worked in their favor, its natural consequence is that Snow White’s character basically just feels like an extension of the female animation eye candy from their previous shorts, such as “The goddess of spring”. The fact that she’s constantly referred to as “beautiful” in a way that makes her sound sexually eligible, despite being 14 years old and acting like it is more than just questionable as well, to say the least. However, if there’s one good thing I can say about Snow White, it’s that she’s not quite as passive as she’s made out to be.

Now, her initial reaction to almost being assassinated, then asked to run and live in the forest is shock and trauma, as to be expected of a 14 years old girl who was just almost assassinated, then cast into the woods. People make fun of the “OMG THE TREEEES” scene, but fact is, if you were 14 and this shit happened to you, wouldn’t YOU act paranoid for the next couple of hours after? It’s “self-preservation instinct”. Nothing about how she broke down in that scene was wimpy or unrealistic. In fact, the way how she picked herself right back up after the initial scare had passed and cheered herself up without the help of another human being (animals to pet are another story) is quite impressive. As soon as Snow White has her bearings back in order, she gets up and, quite intelligently, decides to go and look for lodging. That’s right, she doesn’t just sit there and wait for someone to come and save her. She stands up and goes “Well, I guess stepmom’s lost it. Welp, time to go and get my own place.”

And what does she do once she finds a cottage that could possibly offer lodging to her, but sees that there’s nobody home? She immediately starts to plan on how to receive permission to stay, basically doing the math on how to pay the rent. She takes the initiative. Nobody invited her in, she decided for herself “I’m gonna make myself so useful around here, they’ll have no choice but to give me a room!” Again, impressive for such a very play-minded 14 years old. She clearly knows how to take care of herself. Now, when it comes to “stranger danger”, she clearly still has a couple of things to learn, but without a functioning set of parents to tell her to not accept candy from strange old people in a van, really, who can blame her?

Then there’s the issue of the prince. He’s clearly quite a bit older than her and the implied marriage between the two of them... Let’s just say I REALLY hope they waited at least three, four years with that. Then again, these were the middle ages, so... oh well. 

However, in general, the relationship between the two isn’t handled too badly. Sure, the prince is pretty much a prop, an item for Snow White to acquire at the end of her struggle to survive (a theme we’ll see repeated in Cinderella), but despite us only seeing one scene of her singing together with him in the start of the movie, the way she talks about him for the rest of the movie (and the way the narration goes) strongly implies the two of them met more often than that. For all we know, they’d been meeting up in the courtyard like that for a couple of weeks already by the time Snow White has to run off. Basically, it can be assumed, those two already knew each other well enough and even considered each other properly boyfriend and girlfriend by the time the Prince appears in the end to kiss her awake, which makes the fact that he kisses her awake in first place a lot less creepy, especially compared to the original fairy tale. This isn’t a stranger coming in to claim a pretty price; It’s a concerned boyfriend learning that his M.I.A. girlfriend might possibly have been murdered by her crazy mother and hurrying to her dying bed to see her one more time. Again, this doesn’t change anything about the obvious creepy age gap between the two of them, but if I’d seen this movie as a kid, I wouldn’t have taken “Awww, being kissed by a stranger and then taken away to be married by him is soooo romantic!” from it. I would have taken “Awww, it’s nice to know that there was a loved one out there who cared enough about her to come and save her even when it seemed too late.” from it. 

If Disney decides to remake this movie, I guess I’d wish for them to do three, and ONLY three things to change the story: 

A) Age up Snow White by at least two years, 

B) Put more emphasis on her already present resourcefulness and craftiness, and

B) Add more scenes in the beginning to make it 100% clear that she and the prince have been an item for a long time, eliminating the creepiness of a possible stranger kissing her entirely. 

I don’t think there’s really much else you can do, without ditching the source material. I mean, let’s be honest, you’re kinda confined in what you can do when working with Grim’s Fairy Tales, but for that this movie isn’t doing too badly.

Alternately, a movie about the Evil Queen could be done and would make a LOT more sense than a movie about “Maleficent”. More on that in the last section. 

Cinderella (1950)

This movie is the one I think is most unfairly judged as “anti-feminist”, because pretty much every single piece I read claiming that Cinderella is a passive, docile character waiting to be saved by a prince... Let’s just say I doubt these people have ever actually watched the movie in first place. That, or they’re mixing it up with the other two.

Snow White was waiting for her boyfriend prince to come and help her out.

Aurora laid asleep, waiting for her prince to come and help her out.

Cinderella? Cinderella isn’t waiting for anyone. Cinderella is constantly looking for her chance. 

As I’ve said before, if you actually watch the movie, you’ll quickly realize that “finding a prince” and getting married is never a concern of Cinderella’s. All she dreams of is leading a happy life. What kind of life that is isn’t specified, but it probably involves a whole lot less Lady Tremaine, Anastasia and Drisella, and a whole lot more me-time for Cinderella. Cinderella is far from docile and complacent in her situation. From the first scene we hear her speak, she’s snarling at the clock-tower dragging her out of bed when she’d rather avoid avoid it, snarking at Tremaine and her daughters behind their backs non-stop and defying their orders by keeping the mice they clearly want dead as her friends and pets. The very first thing she talks about is having a dream and wanting it to come true, and the movie let’s little doubt that said dream is all about escaping her abusers at the first realistic chance she gets. But she doesn’t just dream; she’s realistic. She has foresight. When Lady Tremaine insists she can’t go to the ball, she sets out to defy her stepmother  by playing the “Your orders are not above the king’s” card. She handles her chores in record time, only to prove to Tremaine that she can’t stop her from going, and when ultimately she lacks the time to finish her dress, Cinderella is rewarded for a previous act of defiance - saving the household mice and treating them kindly - by having them finish her dress for her. Basically: Everything Cinderella gets, she earned. She isn’t just sitting down, waiting around to be saved. She works hard and stays good to her friends, even in her shitty situation, and her friends stand by her in return, aiding her in her attempts to defy her abusers. The Fairy Godmother, too, isn’t just a random stroke of luck. She even says so herself: The aid she receives from the fairy is a reward for Cinderella’s unfaltering belief in a better future, which she held onto despite all of the abuse. It’s an empowering message, about how by not lowering yourself to the level of those who wrong you and staying true to your own ideals, you can ultimately succeed with the aid of those whose trust you earned. Cinderella gets to go to the ball not because she’s pretty and cute and we’re supposed to root for her, but because she deserved it. Ultimately, Hard work pays off.

Oh, but let’s not forget what the ball was really about: Cinderella wants to go out and party. That’s all there is to it. No prince involved. In fact, when she actually does get to go, and some guy asks her to dance with her, she doesn’t even realize that guy is the prince until way, waaaay later. To her, she’s just out at a dance after one hard day of work, having the time of her life, when suddenly a hot guy walks up to her and asks to hang out. They hang out, talk and, whoa, the hot guy is super nice, too! Totally her type! Talk about one awesome party! Now, I’m asexual myself, so I don’t know what it’s like to immediately crush on someone the first moment you see them, but I’d imagine that for many people, an experience like that at a party is quite relatable. The point of the scene isn’t that Prince Charming is saving Cinderella, the point is that she’s out, having fun, like she’s dreamed of doing for so long. All those years of hanging in there are finally paying off. She’s successfully defied Lady Tremaine and managed to have an awesome night. The fact that she developed a huge crush on the guy she danced with is more or less just a side effect.

Talking of the prince, again, if anyone is a flat character, it’s him. Again, he’s a prop, someone who exists as an ultimate reward for Cinderella’s hard work - and, most importantly, not the other way around! Cinderella isn’t the prize to be conquered here. The prince is. He is her reward for defying Lady Tremaine and managing to escape her abuse. In the climax of the movie, against all odds, it’s not the prince who saves Cinderella: Cinderella saves herself. She stands by the door, tries to pry it open with all her mind, and, finally, hatches a plan to free herself from the room she is locked in with the help of one of the friends she’s earned herself with her kindness. That’s all her. If she hadn’t acted that moment, thought about it and figured out what to do to save herself, she’d never have been able to leave the room in time. But she did. She saved herself, and the  help she received, she received from the people who’s trust she’s earned with honest effort.  My single complaint with the movie is that she ends up marrying the prince after their first, maybe second date, but, again, that comes with the source material. Let’s just give the guy the benefit of the doubt and hope the marriage doesn’t fall apart. Cindy definitely earned it.

When I was 1950′s Cinderella, I don’t see a helpless girl who is swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor. I see a resourceful, intelligent young woman, who waits for the perfect moment to escape her abusers, earns it, and then takes it, not allowing anything or anyone to stop her. I see nothing anti-feminist in this. Both, Cinderella and her abusers are female. The prince is a prop. She never interacts with any other male humans. The male mice help her because she’s saved them and kept them alive first. There are no male power-fantasies at play here, and even if Cinderella is a very traditionally feminine character, what’s so bad about that? I am a woman who loves BOTH traditional and non-traditional femininity. Cinderella has her well-deserved place in this world. This is a movie that I’d show to children without a second thought, right next to things like Steven Universe. Any kind of femininity that doesn’t rely on non-agency should be celebrated, me-thinks. 

That’s why I absolutely don’t understand why Disney felt the need to remake this movie. 

I’m... conflicted on the 2015 remake... Actually, I took notes while watching it today. Lemme share them with you as they are, alright?

The start is good, thanks for expanding on this.

CGI mice are cute, thanks for not cutting the mice

Slow progression into abuse which makes sense with the original movie and could easily be in-continuity with it, good

An actual motivation for Lady Tremaine which makes sense, yes, very good

the first act was awesome.

where is Cinderella's snark?

Seriously, why isn’t she snarking? That was the best thing about her.

Oh gosh, they made Drisella and Anastasia even MORE cartoonishly evil

Too much talking, 

too much prince, 

WHY CAST HELENA BONHAM CARTER AS THE FAIRY???

what are you smoking

The slapstick wasn’t needed. At all.

why is the grand duke evil, 

She's NOT more proactive

Too much prince angst. king didn’t need to die

Seriously, Why make the Grand Duke evil? SHE DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO FIGHT GOSH IN THE ORIGINAL SHE CAME UP WITH THE PLAN THAT SAVED HER HERSELF

SINGING???? REALLY???

In the original version, she saves herself with the help of the mice. Here, SHE'S SAVED BY THE FRIGGIN' PRINCE GOSH. FEMINISM??

All she is more angry at Lady Tremaine??

"I forgive you. Guards, banish the bitch."

Have courage, kindness and VINDICATION

THE FIRST ACT MADE SO MUCH SENSE AND WAS SO GOOD THO. THANKS FOR THE CGI MICE GOOD

...Ahem. 

So yeah, as you can read out of this, I would have much preferred this movie if it had just been a prequel short to the original film, as which it would have made a lot of sense and would have been beautiful. The moment Cinderella met the prince in the woods, everything kind of fell apart, since from that moment on, going to the ball became about the prince, totally undermining what made her decision to go there such a great show of self-agency in the original. Also, the chances to the climax were bullshit. She ended up having on part in her own rescue, nope, this time it really was the prince who saved her. I did not appreciate that at all. With that change they broke what didn’t need to be fixed. Was it so hard to just write the dog back in and have the climax go more similar to the original? *sigh*

Pro-tip Disney: When you try to make your properties my feminist, try to not go about that by breaking the feminism already present in them. Thank you very much.

But, oh well, at least this remake still had artistic merit to it and didn’t break the original completely. That’s more than I can say for the reimagining of...

Sleeping Beauty (1959)

Aurora is not this movie’s saving grace. Nope, not by a long shot. 

The fairies are. All of them. Especially Maleficent.

Let’s get right into it, this is the only of the three movies where it isn’t the prince who’s the prop, but the Princess. Aurora isn’t an interesting character at all, she’s basically a female version of the prince from Cinderella. She exists as a prize for not just the prince, but the entire Kingdom to celebrate the defeat of Maleficent, and while that may sound troubling, there’s a reason why this movie definitely does not simply have a bias against its female character, and that reason is every single female character not named Aurora. 

Yeah yeah. I can’t defend Aurora herself. Call this cheating. But really, neither Aurora, nor Phillip even get the majority of the screen time in the movie. They’re not the real protagonists here. Nope, the movie is REALLY about is the struggle of three brave fairies, Flora, Fauna and Merryweather, to put an end to the tyranny of the mighty, vindictive fairy Maleficent. Phillip’s story of reuniting with Aurora is a side-note compared to that.

The fairies are the reason this movie, THIS MOVIE, of all things, passes the Bechdel test. Let that sink in. Flora, Fauna and Merryweather make the movie. For the sake of defeating Maleficent’s curse, they have to give up their upper-class, immortal lives with the ability to magick up anything they want out of thin air, and learn to live as mortals instead, something they still are shown having trouble with sixteen years after the fact. It’s an interesting take on the traditional fairy godmother, and one I’m surprised hasn’t received more attention. It certainly helps that all three of them have such strong personalities and often clash. Especially the running gag of Flora and Merryweather  both wanting to dress Aurora in their signature colors kept bringing a smile to my face. Flora is level-headed and strict, Merryweather is a worrier who is blunt and doesn’t always think her actions through, Fauna is sweet and reliable, but also a little slow when it comes to some things. I really enjoyed every scene with those three on screen, especially Merryweather’s reactions to her friends’ antics were gold. I often found myself laughing out loud, something many modern movies don’t manage to make me do. I’m sure, if I’d seen this movie as a kid, I would have come away forgetting about Aurora pretty quickly, but the fairies would have won my heart. Especially Merryweather. God, she’s amazing. I want her to be my friend and talk trash about politics with her. Though, she’d probably find my love for the color pink disturbing... 

These three fairies are the true heroes of the movie, and their story isn’t about finding love and getting married. That’s never even remotely an issue. No, their story is about defeating one of their own, a fairy much stronger than them, first by outsmarting her, then by using the things she scoffs at against her. They’re pretty traditional heroes in that way, and I like it.Now, Phillip is a pretty cool hero too, but let’s face it. He’s basically the prince from Snow White again, except with more personality and more of a part in actually saving the girl. I’ll be honest, I probably liked this movie best out of the three, but it was definitely not because of Aurora and Phillip. It was all thanks to the fairies. 

You know who that also includes? That’s right, Maleficent!

Oh my god, Maleficent. She’s just... Just such a perfect villain. Everything about her just oozes power. She’s like a force of nature. Someone who’s enjoys and relishes her own spitefulness and vindictiveness to the utmost. You love to hate her, but you love her for how much you hate her. She’s animated beautifully, and evokes fear every time she’s on screen. Truly the Mistress of all evil. Of course, she’s not exactly a relatable character, but she really doesn’t need to be. Not every person in the world is relatable. Some are just insane, and Maleficent is that kind of person. Unlike the Evil Queen, her motivation isn’t even a traditionally “feminine” one. She’s not just vain or a woman scorned, heck, it’s not even the traditional male motivation of world-domination. Nope, she’s just a really, really vindictive person with a lot of power who enjoys causing suffering.Basically, she’s Vladimir Putin as a fairy, except somehow even scarrier. That’s just amazing. It’s enjoyable to see her scheme and act like a lunatic, and it’s just as enjoyable to watch her get taken down in the end. Fauna, Flora and Merryweather may make the movie, but Maleficent puts the cherry on its top. She completes the package. A delightfully magical package.

The fairies were the best part about the original movie. So why did Disney decide TO MAKE A TERRIBLE MOVIE ABOUT THEM THAT RUINS EVERYTHING THAT MADE THEM AWESOME?

Why.

WHy wOuld yoU do THAT!?

Not only did they manage to waste a perfectly good life action representation of Maleficent (the few scenes in which she’s actually allowed to BE the actual Maleficent, rather than the diet version the rest of the movie ran with, Angelina Jolie really nails the role. It makes the rest of the movie even more painful.), they also took pretty much every single character from the original and turned them into unlikable assholes, INCLUDING the fairies. 

Oh, Merryweather, what have they done to you, my dear. Please, forgive those foolish mortals, for they know not what they’re doing...

The first and immediate problem is that the entire movie is built on a fallacy: The idea that Maleficent was never given a motivation and thus needed one. That is, of course, bullshit. She already had a perfectly good motivation. Being a vindictive person. Believe it or not, there ARE people like that in the world. Denying that reality doesn’t make your movie any “darker”, it makes it more childish. Oh, but of course, the movie doesn’t deny that reality, it just makes OTHER characters evil and vindictive instead! How silly of me! Yeah, let’s rewrite the strong, powerful female villain who does what she does for no other reason than that she can into a poor, hurt puppy, who’s entire world-view was shaped by a man and an implied fantasy-rape, and also make her an all-loving mother-figure at it, the OLDEST female archetype in the book, then call that “progressive”! Ahahahahahahahaha. Meanwhile, they demonized the entirety of Aurora’s Kingdom by going with the old “Hoomans R evul” trope, which has been tired and overused since back in the 90s, then they rewrote some of the most interesting and fun female characters in early Disney film to become a trio of bumbling buffoons, incapable of tying their own shoes instead. OH AND THEY MADE MERRYWEATHER DUMB. THAT DESERVES SHOUTING. YOU CAN’T MAKE MY MERRYWEATHER DUMB, YOU MONSTERS.

The plot they came up with didn’t even make sense within itself. If Maleficent had a personal beef with Stephan because he was her ex, then why did she curse Aurora, and not him? Why do the three fairies listen to the king of they’re part of a different Kingdom? Why are the mores called a “Kingdom” if they’re outright stated to be a direct democracy? Why does Aurora become queen of the mores in the end when the mores are a direct democracy? Why did you go for the same friggin’ plot-twist as Frozen, when Maleficent is most definitely NOT the same character as Elsa? Why didn’t she go get her wings back much earlier if it was as easy as just sticking them on again? Why do the three fairies already consider Maleficent evil before the christening incident, if that was LITERALLY the first truly vindictive thing she’s done? WHY would you cut off the fairies’ gifts at the second one like the original movie, but then have Maleficent HERSELF weaken the curse, rendering the final fairy’s gift unnecessary?? Why were the three fairies still in the movie at all if you basically turned Maleficent into a composite character of herself AND THEM in the first place?? Why would you disgrace your own classic movie by having Aurora herself claim that the original movie is bullshit and THIS, lo and behold, is the true, canon story now? F**k this movie with all the forces of hell!

The worst thing about this whole fiasko is that a movie like that CAN work. It can work, with pretty much any female villain OTHER than Maleficent. This could have worked with the Evil Queen from Snow White. This could have worked with Lady Tremaine. Heck, this story would have worked A LOT with Mother Gothel from Tangled/Rapunzel. In fact, the whole thing was written like it was meant for Mother Gothel! For your information, in the original fairy tale, Gothel was a fairy who stole Rapunzel out of revenge for her parents stealing from her garden. She’s never described as ‘evil’ in the source material, she’s just a villain by virtue of her method of punishing the thieves. A plot-line like the one in “Maleficent” would have made a LOT more sense for Gothel, heck, even if you went with the Disney-version of Gothel a movie like this would still have made more sense for her than for Maleficent. So, why the hell did they do this movie with the one female villain with which it does NOT work?

Not everything can be turned into “Wicked”, Disney. Not everything is meant to be “Wicked”. You’ve had your go at “Wicked” with Frozen. Now, LET IT GO. 

This movie is terrible. It’s not progressive, not feminist, and least of all a respectful take on its source material. It’s everything that’s wrong with Hollywood remake culture.The original movie wasn’t a cornerstone of feminist media, but its female characters were sure a heck of a load better than the characters in this glorified fanfic. 

Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is: Disney. Stop hating your own Princess Movies. Some healthy self-awareness and a will to improve is good, but what you’ve been doing has been downright delusional. Your protrayal of female characters was never as incredibly terribad as you seem to believe it was. Take some pride in what you’ve done and strife to do even better in the future, without defiling your old work for the sake of being “progressshiiivvvvvv” (without actually being progressive.) If people want Disney Princess movies that feature the princesses (and queens) doing non-traditionally feminine things, there’s Tangled, Frozen and The Princess and the Frog, and the list is ever-expanding. We don’t need to go back and try to erase and rewrite the history that lead Disney to where it is now. That history is part of why they got to where they are now.

Don’t demonize the past. Look at it with the same critical eye you look at the present with, and then learn from it. Honor it and be thankful for what it can teach you. 

  (See the other entries into my Advent Calendar Series HERE. )

#Disney Princesses #Snow White #cinderella #maleficent #Sleeping Beauty #Neni Talks #Neni Essay #Neni's Advent Calendar 2017