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#b99 au
spideyanakin · 10 months
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Jokes on you
Peter Parker x Reader B99 Au
Au where MCU lives in the same universe as the 99
Synopsis - Jake is the only cop who’s ever managed to capture Spider-man.
Masterlist 🧚🏻‍♀️
Peter Parker Masterlist 🌻
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Peter landed on your fire escape with an inaudible thud, hand gripping the worn-out metal bar to reach for your window. Before his fist could collide with the glass, he noticed the rainbow maker sticker he had bought for you at the MOMA's gift shop on your last school field trip.
He noticed only after spotting the trinket, that you were nowhere to be seen. He could see the mess on your desk, mountains of papers and colored pencils littered the space. The small blue desk light was on, shining across the squiggles on your paper. Peter couldn't see what it was about but he was ready to bet on his superpowers that you were trying to work a case. Either one Peter had told you about or one that had recently caught your attention on the news.
Or maybe even better--a case you had found this afternoon on your internship.
There you were. Peter's sense caught up with your light footsteps towards your bedroom door. Your hand catching the silver handle of your wooden before swinging it open.
Your face lit up when you saw Peter waiting at your window. You jumped on your feet, socked feet bouncing on the blue carpet as you made the few steps toward him.
Your fingers hooked with the handled of your window before pushing it open.
"How long have you been waiting here?" You greeted, soft smile dancing on your lips at his sight.
"A few minutes, barely," Peter swiftly slid into your room, removing his mask and throwing it on your bed before turning back to you.
You took him in, biting your lip. His hair was messy from his spider-man mask, his eyes bright as he stared back at you. He looked happy and you couldn't help but copy his contagious smile.
"That's good," you blurted out, lost in trying to figure out what made him so happy--but he was always happy, it was Peter.
“How was your internship?” He jumped a bit on his heels, pointing to the brand-new NYPD jacket you forgot you were still wearing.
“Fun, actually.” You chuckled. “I got to help fight crime today, a bit like you, I guess," you joked. "I'm assisting a detective, we're working on a case, it's pretty cool."
"Explains this?" He walked towards your desk to get a better look at what had previously caught his attention. You had drawn over a map of New York with different colors and shapes--scribbles only you knew the answers to.
"No, that's a whole different thing," you chuckled, meeting Peter by your desk and leaning closer to him.
“How was your "internship"?” You tilted your head to get a closer look at him. The air quotes getting a small laugh out of him. "Anything on that case you were telling me about?"
“Nope, nothing," he shrugged his shoulders. "Not much but the usual. Stolen bike, helping an old woman cross the road, always that same guy trying to steal a redbull from Delmar's. "
"Every day!"
"Every day! You'd thought he get the hint by now. Delmar threatened to call the police today though."
"As he should."
"Talking about the police, did you know that every cop in the state of New York is trying to catch you? They have this giant bet on which precinct will catch you first. It’s pretty funny actually," you laughed to yourself, thinking back on today's briefing when they taught you all about it. Jake had even shown you his folder with a collection of every single little detail he had collected, including old police reports from other precincts about failed attempts to catch him, to witness interviews.
“Oh well, I'm impossible to catch, darling,” Peter gave you his best grin.
"Confident much?"
"Always," he kissed your cheek.
“Well, be careful. They all think you’re the bad guy," you fixed a few strands of hair on his forehead.
“I always am, princess.” 
"So tell me, what's up with that guy you were telling me about. Because I think they have a similar case going on at the precinct.”
“Well, the guy I'm currently searching for is called Todd Willis. Known for selling drugs around Queens and Brooklyn, but now we think he’s selling Alien substances. Alien drug if you want. Tony asked me to keep an eye on him until they know more. What did you hear today?"
"I don't think that's the same guy, but one of the detectives was going on about how this guy was found with an ungodly amount of drugs and wouldn't tell them who he bought it from."
"Well, please tell me if you have anything on Todd Willis. I think it's bothering Tony more than he's letting on. Be nice to have some more clues."
"Promise."
The next morning you got dressed in the NYPD uniform the nine-nine gave you, stuffing your name badge in your bag before scurrying off to grab breakfast at your closest Starbucks. You never went to Starbucks but you were in a rush and you forgot where you had placed your go-cup. Only when you were waiting for your coffee did you realize Peter had borrowed it two weeks ago and never gave it back.
You basically flew down the steps of the subway, thanking whatever gods were with you that morning because the train was just arriving as you swiped your card.
You finally allowed yourself to breathe correctly once you were sat on the uncomfortable blue bench and the silver doors closed, the train harshly starting again, and leaving behind the platform, heading in a straight line towards your destination.
You checked your watch before taking a new comforting sip of your drink, warm and sweet and everything you felt like you needed to survive today. Your shoulders slacked when you realized you had managed to catch up with the lost minutes, you were going to arrive right on time.
You decided to take your one-month mandatory work experience/ internship Midtown High required, with the NYPD. Unfortunately, you made your decision a little late, so the nine-nine was the only district available. It was a little far from your home, but at least it was still on the same side of the river. A few subway stops weren't going to scare you away.
You didn't mind as much as you thought you would. You loved Brooklyn, and the nine-nine had been much more welcoming than you'd imagine. In the little hours you had already spent with them, they had broken every stereotype that you built about working at a precinct. The images you had made yourself about the calm, serious, and strict detectives were quickly replaced by the chaotic staff that had greeted you days before.
“Morning intern!” Jake bounced on his chair as he saw you walk in.
“She’s not your personal intern, you know,” Amy raised an eyebrow, looking up from her computer as she took a new sip of her coffee.
“She’s technically Captain Holt’s intern,” Rosa entered the conversation, her sharp eyes keeping their focus on her screen. 
“Yeah, but he assigned her to work with me,” he pointed his finger at you and back to him. 
“Two days ago! She worked with me yesterday,” Amy raised her hands, almost offended by Jake’s comment.
“No, she didn’t! She worked with the two of us!”
“That’s because you wouldn’t leave us and forced Captain Holt to put you on the case,” she looked at him with the whites of her eyes.
“Alright, alright. But I’m sure we’re going to work together again.” Jake pointed the pink eraser of his pencil at you and winked. 
You bit your lip, trying to not laugh. 
“Morning Precinct," Captain Holt walked out of his office, head down on a pile of papers in his hands. "I have a new case for you Peralta,” he lifted his gaze to meet Jake's bright eyes. He walked the few steps to his desk, blue sneakers squeaking on the clean white floor before dropping everything that was in his hands on the messy desk, in between the scattered cups of coffee and the old-looking banana peel Jake promised had only been there two days. “So you can let Amy and her intern work on their case,” he nodded, "and clean your desk Peralta" he added, raising a disgusted eyebrow as he scanned the wooden surface. He looked back at Jake before turning on his heels, making large steps back towards his office.
“HA! My intern-” Captain Holt, turned around, and raised an eyebrow for the second time that morning, Amy gave him a small, apologetic smile before awkwardly turning back to you.
You took this as your cue to grab a chair and sit at Amy's desk.
Jake smirked at Amy's awkward interaction before looking down at the files Holt had dropped on his desk. He eyed the white paper who was staring back at him as if this was the greatest puzzle in history.
“Todd Willis?" He blinked, trying to reread the words as if there had been some kind of mistake, hoping he wasn't losing his mind. "Didn’t we close his case a while ago?" Jake turned to Holt who was still standing at the border between the room and the safe heven that was his office.
"Yes, but it was just reopened. He’s been apparently selling some... new, stronger drug.” 
Your face fell when you heard the name. Peter was going after that guy too. Was he that dangerous that he had also caught the eye of the police?
You'd figure Jake was going to ramble about him as he worked the case, maybe you could remember some information and tell everything to Peter. Help him beat the nine-nine and crack the case before they did.
But wait. What if you cracked the case before Peter?
You loved Peter with everything in you but he was always smug about his Spider-man powers making him more useful than any detective around town.
What if you helped Jake and the nine-nine break the case before your boyfriend? Now that would be fun. 
“Captain?” You politely raised your voice, making Holt's attention drift to you. He nodded, expectantly looking at you--you took it as your cue, “may I work with Jake on the case? I was fascinated by this case when it was ongoing,” you gave him your best smile, hoping he would let you in on.
The challenge of helping the nine-nine beat Peter was way too thrilling. A race you were ready to win. A way to grab on to feeling like a super hero in your own way.
Holt raised his eyebrows, taking a second to process your request. Jake was talented but he was the personification of ADHD and could be a pain to work with. Holt truly thought that you had experienced that firsthand the other day. Nevertheless, he saw your attitude towards the Todd Willis case and knew that if you had indeed been fascinated with it, then you might indeed be some great help to his craziest recruit.
“I don’t see why not. Y/n you can work with Peralta on the case. Sorry Santiago, you can partner up with Boyle," he nodded before finally disappearing back into his office.
Amy’s mouth fell open, and Jake abruptly stood up, making a happy dance around his table.
"I'm sorry?" You offered Amy who looked at you with betrayal written all over her features. You stood up and moved your chair to sit next to Peralta.
“She’s my intern now! In ya face! Suckers!” 
“So, what you got so far?” You grounded Jake back to reality. He smiled before sitting in his chair, dramatically straightening his back and licking his finger to better flip the first page, ready to reveal all the information laid out on the files before him.
“Let’s see…”
-
Four hours had passed since you and Jake started working, your help being way more precious than he ever thought it would be. You had relocated to one of the workrooms. A large pinboard on the wall with the potential clues and locations. A table was in the middle of the room, with just even more papers splayed across it; an Agatha Christie book you thought held a potential clue, a random yellow kitchen glove neatly placed in a ziplock that had been found on a goose chase to catch Todd. You hadn't been allowed to pull it out of the bag, but you thought having it around might still be important.
The last blueberry muffin of a box Terry had kindly given you after your first hour of research stood proudly in between the mess you had created, and empty glasses previously holding peach syrup sat on the edges.
You looked at the map pinned to the wall.
“We're missing a step. It’s impossible he carried the drugs from LA to here without anyone noticing," Jake's fingers danced across the map, stopping on the picture of the drug cargo that you had pinned to the Hudson River hours prior. "He must have a base somewhere in New York,” he continued.
You sighed. You knew you needed some information that you could only get in the field, and it bothered you that you couldn't be as free and sneaky as Spider-man. You understood why Peter and the avengers cracked cases so fast and easily. They were able to get information fast and spying came easy. For the police, going on the field meant a whole lot of equipment and prep. They had to be sure, use the clues they already had before they could act on their suspicions.
Your familiar ringtone broke you out of your thoughts.
Of course, it was Peter. As if he knew you were thinking about him. “It’s my boyfriend. Can I take that?”
“Yeah, don’t worry,” he shook his hand as if to show you it was more than ok, "we should take a break anyways."
You nodded before exiting the room and making a beeline to the terrace where the staff would take their private calls or the occasional cigarette.
“Hey babe,” you smiled over the phone. 
“Hi” 
“What's up?” 
“Nothing much,” he chuckled over the phone. “Just wanted to hear your voice, see how work was going. I got some more info on Todd, Im about to leave the compound."
"Oh neat," you bit your lip. That easy to get information out of Peter?
"I discovered he has a base in Brooklyn,” Peter replied making the last part of his sentence a little mysterious.
“Brooklyn?” Your eyes lit up. “Where in Brooklyn?”
“Clinton Hill, Myrtle av. Plus it’s not far from you." You could hear some shuffling and a door closing behind him. The familiar sound of webs and suddenly, a lot of wind over the phone. "Why?” his voice came out as muffled.
"Peter, are you calling and swinging again?"
"Maybe?" You could barely hear him, making you huff.
"Peter-- we talked about this, please be careful. Call me back after your mission, kay?"
“Yep. That works, bye, love you.”
“Love you too," you hung up, and pocketed your phone. "Unbelievable," you shook your head in disbelief. After the number of times, Peter almost crashed into a building by being on the phone with you or Ned or even Tony--and he had to do it again.
You sighed before walking back into the building, at least he gave you a lead. A very good lead.
“Jake, I think I got something,” you approached the table, eyes dancing across the accumulation of papers before you found your pick. It was a small yellow Post-it note with Jake's sloppy handwriting; ‘Moaning M Ry 2' written in blue ink. You and Jake had spent the whole afternoon wondering what it meant, and your conversation with Peter had struck the answer right out of you.
“Are there any streets around Myrtle av that starts with Ry?” 
“I don’t know so let me check,” Jake turned from the pinboard to his laptop, fingers dancing across the keyboard as he searched the map of Brooklyn.
“Yeah, Ryerson St. Why?”
“Well is there an N2 to this street?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you check the building?”
Jake fidgeted with the keys of his computer before getting the picture of an old grey building.
“Hey! We searched the building ages ago!” Jake pointed to it. “It’s totally possible their base is here!” He approached the board. “Hey this actually makes a lot of makes. But how did you-” he pointed, shock evident in his eyes.
“Well, these guys aren’t the only Harry Potter fans out there,” a small smirk rose on your lips as you handed the paper to Jake. He looked at you with quizzical eyes and then down to the note in his hand. 
“Oh my god!" His eyes grew wide as he read his lopsided letters "Moaning M is Moaning Myrtle I'm so dumb! Harry Potter is just the best right?” He gave you a bright smile.
“Yeah!” You chuckled. “I think you should get a team there as quickly as possible, you don’t know what their next move will be.” You added, wanting more than ever to win this one-way race with your boyfriend.
“Yes. And thank you for your help… Detective.”
You sighed, watching the bottom of your coffee cup, fingers mindlessly tapping on the wooden surface of Jake's desk--while Gina talked about some random life facts about her, instead of giving you the lists of tasks that Captain Holt had asked her to hand you about an hour ago.
"Any news of Jake and Amy?" you turned to Terry who jumped at your voice, quickly closing the flappy golf page--fear of getting caught playing a video game by an intern during work hours quickly rising in his chest.
In all truths, he was bored. While Amy, Jake, and Boyle had run off to the location you had found, he had to work on what was probably the most boring case Holt had assigned him to this year.
He checked his phone, sighing when there was no message, simply his daughters' faces and big bright white numbers staring back.
"No," you melted a little more in your chair at his words.
You wished that you could have gone with them, but security was what mattered most, and of course, interns were not allowed on fieldwork.
You had no news of Peter either, making you think this had actually been a really good lead, and they were all busy trying to figure out what the heck was in this abandoned building.
In the meantime, Jake parked the disguise van and started his lookout. The big grey building sat quiet, as of yet no signs of life revealed to them. Everything was quiet until a light thump rang through the van. 
“What was that,” Amy grabbed the nearest car handle, whispering in panic. 
“Oh my god, I bet it’s Spider-man!” Jake whispered back like a fan girl whose celebrity crush had just breathed the same air. 
“You really think Spider-man is on top of our van?“ Amy tilted her head thinking his idea was absurd.
"That would be amazing,” Boyle said over the intercom. Until now he stayed quiet in the back area of the van accompanied by all the spying equipment. 
“You think we should try and catch him?” Jake whispered even lower. 
“How do you want us to catc-” Amy raised her voice, attempting to speak normally but Jake slapped his hand on her mouth. 
“Shhh. He has special hearing,” Jake whispered as low as he possibly could.
“How do you even know that?” Amy asked, trying her best to match Jake's whispers.
“I have a plan,” Jake carefully looked at Amy. “Alright, Boyle, can you look at the van’s door camera.”
“On it,” Boyle excitedly pressed on the camera buttons. 
“Alright, if he gets down, hit him with a tranquilizer, and quickly grab him. Put him in the van and come in the front with us. Make sure you double-lock the door. Make sure you do it quickly.”
“Why so quick if he’s tranquilized?” Amy didn't see the logic.
“Don’t you know anything about him!? He heals super fast which means we have like two minutes until he wakes up and gets back on his feet,” Jake huffed as if this was common knowledge, almost offended that Amy knew nothing.
“How do you know so much?” Amy whispered scream. 
“He’s like my favorite hero!”
“Yeah, Amy. He’s like Jake’s favorite hero," Boyle added through the intercom.
“And every cop knows that the sixty-seven tried to but he woke up before they could get him,” Jake added like it was obvious. 
And as if on cue, Spider-Man jumped down the van he thought was empty and slowly walked towards the building, careful not to make any startling noise for the potential bad guys who took cover inside.
"JAKE JAKE!" Boyle whispered and screamed as he saw the red silhouette appear on his computer. "He's there!"
Jake let out an excited squeak, and Boyle grabbed the tranquilizer gun that was stored on the side of the computer desk. Boyle took a breath before opening the door in a flash, perfectly shooting a tranquilizer right into Spider-man.
"Jake! Amy!" Boyle screamed and Amy and Jake rushed out of the van--making Jake scream when he saw his hero laying face flat on the floor.
"Oh my god, this is the best day of my life!" He jumped like a kid high on sugar. "Amy we caught Spider-man! We caught Spider-man!"
Amy stared at him in shock, trying to register what was even happening. She blinked when Jake and Boyle high-fived.
"Well, what are you waiting for get him in the van!"
You were washing your hands in the bathroom when Jake and Boyle came back in the precinct in a hurry. Jake's hair looked at mess and his eyes were as big as they could possibly get over the excitement,
“Guys, guys! we caught Spider-Man!” 
“You caught The Spider-Man? You sure this isn’t just some guy in a costume?” Holt fixed his glasses, giving skeptical eyes to Jake.
“Hundred percent sure, Sir. No look five!” Jack blindly threw his right hand behind him, just to collide with Boyle's hand who took the cue faster than his mind could comprehend.
“Is it that guy dressed as Spider-man that lives in your building again?” Rosa interrupted. 
“Rosa, if the real Spider-man lived in my building I would have a tattoo on my forehead that says ‘Spider-man lives in my building’” Jake pointed to his forehead and chuckled. 
A small silence fell in the room, Captain Holt crossed his arms, eyes boring into Jake's as he tried to pull answers. 
“We should still check, I really want to know if I should add the 15th bar to my ‘Jake caught a random guy dressed as Spider-man’ board.” Rosa stood up from her chair. 
The whole of the team didn't bother with the thought of Jake's latest potential find, making only Captain Holt, Terry, and Rosa who came only for mere entertainment purposes, followed the team of three to the parking lot where the van had been parked.
"Brace yourselves!" Jake fed into the suspense, slowly placing his hands around the handles before ripping the door open "Ta Da-"
Before the five cops that stood around the van could register, the one and only hero flew out of the confined place, throwing as many webs as he possibly could in an attempt to escape the clutches of the police. Captain Holt was thrown to the floor as a web hit his leg and glued him to the floor.
Without a word, and almost a sigh of total annoyance, Rosa grabbed the taser on her belt and hit Spider-man that was standing right in front of her with it. The poor hero fell to the floor, unconscious.
"Well, you were right. This is The Spider-Man. Now I would really appreciate it if you would get me out of these… Webs.”
“Soz, Sir don’t think I can. You have to wait two hours. Got caught in them once, good luck going to the bathroom Sir.” Jake sheepishly replied, his tone cheery. He bounced on his heels in excitement as he spotted Terry and Rosa already starting to pick up Spider-man.
-
“Thought he would be heavier,” Terry said as he slowly draped the unconscious hero on the chair of the interrogation room.
“Y/n!” Jake called out, out of breath from sprinting up the stairs.
“Hey, how was the mission?”
“It is what we thought it was but that’s not important! Come!” Jake waved his hands for you to come, you raised an eyebrow watching him grab his guitar before making you follow him down to the interrogation rooms. 
“Bab–aaspider Man?” Your eyes went wide. You saw Peter, still fully dressed in his Spider-man suit, face down on the table-- cuffed hands twitching as he was slowly starting to wake up.
“Babpider man? I like that” Peralta added not realizing your almost mistake to call the hero in front of you, babe.
“I hate when you make up words Peralta,” Captain Holt deadpanned.
“We’re about to reveal who he truly is.” Jake bounced excitedly next to you. “Couldn’t let you miss it!” He turned to you, and your mind went through every possible way that you could stop this from happening--but no idea came to mind. “You guys ready?" Jake sat on the table. “I want to wake him up first.” Jake looked at you before unzipping the guitar bag, just to reveal and light brown guitar. You watched as he carefully placed it on his legs, clearing his throat.
“Oh boy,” Amy exclaimed before covering her ears, signing you to do the same.
“SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER-MAN!” Jakes screamed while doing notes on his guitar you were sure not to be the right notes to this song. "DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN!"
Spider-Man shot up, the eyes of his mask opening wide. He looked around at the unfamiliar faces, right until he saw yours. You gave him the most apologetic smile you possibly could, and you could see from the way the eyes of his suit twitched that he was silently asking for your help.
Jake got closer, hand reaching to peel his mask off.
“What but- You can’t just do that!” You tried.
“What do you mean? Its Spider-Man we’re talking about!” Jake almost whined, not understanding your reasoning. 
“But what if his identity remains a secret for a reason? Maybe he wants to stay quiet?”
“Hey hey hey, please don’t remove my mask sir.” Spider-Man shifted in his spot, attempting to move his hands but he was trapped.
“Oh C’mon! This is like my life’s dream. Relax a little, guys! Be cool,” Jake tried to ease the tension.
“But-” 
“You guys can be so stupid sometimes,” Gina lost her focus on her freshly manicured hands, ready to take the matter into her own hands. She planted herself right behind Spider-man before ripping his mask off in one swift motion--a moment straight out of a Scooby-Doo episode, you thought.
“Oh damn your pretty,” she exclaimed before examining his face. “Oh hey, Y/n it’s your boyfriend! Damn girl,” she looked at you and then back to Peter.
Your face burned in embarrassment as the whole of the precinct now stared at you. 
“You know him?" Terry pointed to Peter.
"Kind of?”
"Kind of?" Gina interrupted you. "Queen, you're literally together, kissing on your lock screen."
“Y/n’s boyfriend is Spider-Man,” Jake shrieked.
“Yeah?” You offered him.  
“Y/n’s. Boyfriend. Is. The. Real. Spider. Man,” he looked at everyone in the group. 
“You ok, Jake?” 
“Im cool. Everything is Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.” 
Jake walked out of the room. Silence fell before a loud scream coming from the main room was heard.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” 
“He’s gonna be alright”
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be added to my taglist
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quasarsansserif · 2 years
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Voltron babes but make it Brooklyn 99/cops AU 🕺
Silly sketches, I hope you will like them.
Maybe I will continue sketching for this au, it was fun ! Imagine Pidge and Matt being insufferable like snort snort all the time, Coran as Gina, Allura would be captain, Shiro would be lieutenant/detective squad commander (like Terry does).
I think it would funny to have Lotor as Madeline Wuntch, rival to Allura?
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popularisland · 1 year
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Hear me out-
The b99 squad doing bake off
• Charles and Kevin would be the hosts/Judges
• Amy would just have Charles stationed with her through most of it so she doesn’t burn down the tent.
• Jake: ‘Started baking, had a breakdown. Bonappetit!’
• Terry would make amazing looking bakes but they would have too much extract in them ect
• Raymond would be the star baker EZ
-Add on him getting really competitive especially with Amy and Rosa
———————————————————————————————————
Raymond: ‘I will crush you like a walnut’
Amy: ‘oh yeah? Well I’ll split you like a Sunday with grandpa’ >:((
Rosa: ‘when this is over, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to break those little fingers’
Terry: ‘………I’m just happy to be here!’
———————————————————————
• Just think about the potential commentary we would get from Charles and Kevin
• Gina would be checking in on everyone by herself since, she don’t need another host to match her energy
I could keep going on
• Rosa would accidentally throw her mix on the floor whilst chatting to Jake
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kanerallels · 2 years
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also a B99 scene but Kanera?
Okay, admittedly what I wrote for this is... not really what you asked for. It is in my B99 au, and it's semi inspired by episode 11 (I think?) of season one! And it has Kanera so you'll like it anyways, I hope!
Taglist: @laughingphoenixleader @accidental-spice @heckin-music-dork @day-to-day-thots @auroramagpie @firefoxtessa @opalknight (let me know if you want to be added or removed!)
“We’ll split up— we’ll be able to cover more ground that way,” Commander Fox said briskly. “Bly, you’ll come with me. D’ukal, with Kestis. Sierra, why are you here?”
“Entertainment value for my SpaceTube channel.”
“Stay out of the way, then. Jarrus, you’re with Syndulla.”
“Ooooh,” Cal said mischievously, sending Kanan and Hera a grin. He received an eye roll from Hera, and a glare from Kanan. “I mean, we’d better get going.”
“You should,” Fox said. “The first person to spot Pryce calls the others. Remember, she has hostages so do not engage without backup. Understood?”
There was a series of confirmations, and then they spread out, heading down the various paths throughout the storage facility. Kanan moved with Hera, keeping his blaster at the ready. The flickering lights overhead cast strange shadows over his companion’s face, making her thoughtful frown seem deeper. Her eyes flicked from doorway to doorway ahead, then paused on Kanan, and Hera raised an eyebrow at him.
Oh, I’m staring, Kanan realized with a stab of embarrassment. Sorry, he mouthed at her apologetically, and she gave a nod before moving forward. He followed, biting back a curse of annoyance.
He wasn’t supposed to be this transparent. It wasn’t supposed to be obvious that after their mission two months back, things had started to feel… different. Like she wasn’t just someone he enjoyed getting a rise out of, but she was a friend. Someone he trusted, cared about. Maybe more than he should have.
Kanan glanced at Hera again as she stopped by one of the doors. Definitely more than he should have.
“I think there might be someone in here,” Hera whispered, startling him out of his thoughts. “But I don’t think it’s Pryce.”
“Do we call the others?” Kanan asked in a low voice. “Because I’m on board with handling it ourselves.”
Hera pursed her lips thoughtfully, and Kanan hastily pulled his gaze away from the gesture. “Commander said not to, but—”
Before she could speak another word, there was a muffled cry from inside. A child’s cry of pain. Kanan’s eyes widened, and he met Hera’s gaze.
Her expression was steely with cold anger as she said, “Are you with me?”
“I got your back,” Kanan said, checking his blaster. “Let’s do this.”
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foul-z-fowl · 2 years
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Voltron B99 AU Pt????
Keith:I'm sorry about tonight. Lance: Good news everyone! We found the name of Keith's followup sex tape!
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ruleofexception · 2 years
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Ch 3: A thorn in the sky
Ch 1 | Ch 2
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“I’m sorry, Chief-” like he’s just taken a steel pipe to the gut, or a skateboard to the nuts, Obi leans forward and spills halfway out of the chair with a gasp, “b-but I’m not sure I’m clear on what you’re-”
“Hah.” Izana snorts with no hint of amusement, and runs a long and pale finger down the folder in front of him. Knowing, icy blue bore into him as one silver brow arches, challenging. “While you may be free to act the idiot in your spare time, I suggest you refrain from doing so here, detective.” 
“Y-Yes sir.” Like a dog with his tail tucked, Obi settles back into the chair and desperately tries to keep his leg from bouncing. The edges of his badge cut into his palm. “Understood, sir.”
“Relax, will you?” Flicking the edge of the folder so it skitters and slides halfway across the desk towards Obi, Izana settles back in his chair as a king might a throne. “Although your drooling all over the Raxd case file leaves much to be desired, I’ve not called you in here to fire you.”
“You’re sure?” To his horror, runaway words are heard before he’s even realized that he’s spoken and-
And they earn him a raised silver brow and slight smirk. “It would be of no benefit to fire one of my best detectives.”
Slammed with the weight of such rare and high praise from the Chief, Obi breathes out a tight chuckle, forcing his fingers to loosen their grip on his badge. “Thank you, s-”
“Even if he is involved in some activities that-” icy blue do not leave gold as Izana licks at his teeth and cocks his head knowingly, “Skate dangerously close to illegal.”
All the air is sucked from the room. A cold sweat breaks out across his forehead, while his lungs spasm and starve in the cavern of his chest. 
He always figured that there was a good chance he’d be found out eventually. That he’d follow in the footsteps of his father, and his Something would one day lead to ruin. Still, he tries to stop the dirt from falling on his grave. Tries to keep his head above water, even as weights drag him towards the silty depths. 
“I-I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand what it is you’re implying, Chief.”
“I warned you once already not to act an idiot in my presence, I’ll not do it again.” Casual - like he’s not just laced a threat between the spaces of his words - he nods his head towards the folder on the desk. “Now, I’ve a new assignment for you.”
Tongue dry, imagining that the contents within the folder before him contain nothing more than a single sheet of paper with a giant ‘Permanently reassigned to filing’ printed across the top, Obi eyes Izana warily. “What of the Raxd case? Kiki and I were going to check out The Serpent's Claw later today to see if-” 
“Kiki will be taking the lead on the Raxd investigation.” He speaks slow, leaving no room for misinterpretation. “And I’ve asked Zen to step in as her partner, for the time being.” 
Although clear in his words, Obi’s certain he’s heard wrong. He must have. “I’m sorry, did you say Zen?”
Surely, he’s just imagined Izana being stupid enough to reinstate- 
“Is there a problem, Detective?”
“A problem?” He laughs without humour. “With all due respect sir-” nausea makes a solid stone of his stomach. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?”
What he thought would earn him an icy scowl and thin words, is met instead with a genuine chuckle and steepled fingers beneath his chin. “You have concerns, I take it?”
“Yeah, I have concerns.” Obi huffs, still doing his absolute best not to run his mouth and find himself a way to get fired, regardless of Izana thinking he’s a good cop. “He’s not fit for active duty.”
“Untrue.” Fingertips press a little tighter together. Skin going bone-white under the pressure. Izana supplies, “He was given the all-clear on Monday.”
His jaw falls and drags on the floor as he struggles to keep himself from shooting up out of his chair to slam his hands down on Izana’s desk with a shout. “T-That was yesterday!” 
Careful, Izana licks at his teeth. Stares at Obi from across the vast desk between them, then says in a tone that is uncharacteristically soft - betraying the fondness and fears he has for his younger brother, “Obi, he received the green-light from both the psychiatrist and the board-”
“Yesterday.” He growls.
Izana shifts in his chair. Sighs, “Regardless of when, he’s officially-”
“It’s not even been a year since he-” at the warning flickering through Izana’s sharp gaze, Obi grits his teeth. “Since his partner was shot, sir. The psychiatrist and board members are morons if they think he’s-”
“What happened to Officer Atri was an unfortunate… accident.” Izana says in a way that makes it seem like he’s only being genuine for the sake of his brother. Like he has to believe it was an accident, so as not to pile more guilt onto Zen’s conscience. So he doesn’t damn his own brother, for making a stupid decision that resulted in the death of his partner. “Atri was a good man and a good cop. But he’s been long-buried and gone; and Zen wants to come back and be a part of the squad again.”
“And you’re going to let him.” He grinds out.
“You know as well as I, that all of our other detectives who are even remotely qualified to be anywhere near this case, are otherwise occupied.” 
“Hah. He’s been sitting in some dusty old filing room for a year, I hardly think he can be considered qualified for-”
“Kiki believes he is.” Knowing - challenging - Izana raises a brow at him. Leans forward slightly. “But, if you disagree and would rather your partner be left to walk into The Serpent’s Claw without backup…”
Izana doesn’t finish his thought, but he doesn’t have to.  
Any further complaints over Zen being reinstated and taking over his case dry up on his tongue at the thought of Kiki wandering into that snake’s bar. Alone. Without someone there to help her, should the situation go sideways and Umihebi tries to run, like he expects she might.
“As I thought.” Smug, pale lips turn up into the slightest smile. 
Defeat sags his shoulders. The fight leaves him as a hushed plea, “Give me your word, that you - as his Chief, not his brother - truly believe him to be capable of handling a case like this. That he’s mentally prepared and ready to be back in the field, so soon.” 
“Speaking as his superior officer, I do truly believe he’s ready and capable of taking on the Raxd case, with Kiki as the lead.” Smug grows somber. He nods once, sharp blue eyes not leaving gold. “And as his brother, I’m confident he’ll give his life for her, should he need to.”
“Fine.” It’s not fine. Not really. 
Izana must sense that it’s not as fine as Obi’s pretending, because he reassures, soft as a whisper, “Kiki is not Atri, detective.”
While he’d like to argue that that’s not his concern, but feeling more and more like he’s not got much of a choice, nor say in the matter, he grunts, wanting to get back to the real reason he’s been pulled in here, accused of participating in illegal activities - which he is, sort of; but it’s alarming that his boss is somehow aware of it - and told he’s no longer on the case he’s been working for four months. “What’s this new assignment you’d like me on, sir?”
Izana goes back to looking pleased with himself. Eases back into his chair in what’s as close to a slouch as Obi’s ever seen him wear, and lets slender hands come to rest as a fist just above his navel. Chin nudges towards the folder, still sitting cockeyed on the desk in front of Obi. “I assume you recall the group Zen and Atri were investigating when the… incident happened?”
“You mean the group of vigilantes?” 
“I do.”
“Yeah, I remember them.” He fingers the edge of the folder, dragging it closer like he might a snake that’s apt to turn around and bite him. There’s a sinking feeling in his gut. “If memory serves-” which he and Izana both know it almost always does, “They called themselves The Lions and claimed that they were working with us, not against us.” Absent-mindedly, he pulls the folder into his lap. Rolls it and starts to slap it against his thigh. “Said that their leader, Mukaze, has been helping us behind the scenes for decades. That he’s helped put more assholes behind bars than the entire WCPD combined. They told us we were making a mistake.” 
Izana breathes a soft, impressed snort. “Your memory never fails to astound me.” 
The smile Obi wears is brittle and razor thin as he teases, “I assure you, sir, it’s both a blessing and a curse.” 
Without waiting for Obi to continue reciting the case file they both know front to back, Izana takes a deep breath and looks him dead in the eye. Speaks, like what he says isn’t a giant fucking bomb dropped in the middle of the conversation. “Late last week, he escaped.”
“I’m sorry-” Obi chokes, “What?”
“Evidence suggests that one of the guards - a man by the name of Itoya - aided him.” Silver brows knit together. The corner of his mouth tugs down. “And although I cannot prove anything as of yet, I’m confident he wasn’t working alone.” 
His head starts to spin. The case folder in his fingers starts to crumple. “Why am I just hearing about this now?”
“We’ve been able to keep the media on a short leash and prevent the news from spreading like wildfire; however,” his lips fold into a tight grimace, “earlier this morning I received a note from one of the board members, warning that we’re very quickly losing ground. The media is hungry and our resources are all but exhausted.” 
“Fuck.” The word rattles about in his lungs like a stone tumbles around in a dryer. “How long do we have?”
“At a guess, it’s only a matter of days - if not hours - before the story breaks wide open.”
Based on the gravity of the situation, Obi doesn’t think that Izana’s really reacting in a way that’s befitting the absolute shit-storm they’re about to wind up in. But, hey. He’s not the Chief of Police, so what does he know?
“And when it does-”
Fuck. God. Damnit. He hates when Izana uses ‘when’. At least ‘if’ sounds like there’s a chance it won’t happen; but, ‘when’? 
‘When’ means it’s happening and there’s sweet fuck all he can do about it.
“Mukaze’s face is going to be painted across every paper, tabloid and news channel.” Izana’s jaw clenches. The first real sign he’s shown that confirms they’re so far up shit’s creek, not even a paddle would help. 
Obi, already having a pretty good idea as to where this is going, ventures. “And anyone who’s ever wanted him dead or sworn revenge, suddenly knows what he looks like and that he’s probably hiding somewhere in the city.”
Izana nods, solemn.
“So, you want me to find him?”
“Based on some of our numbers over the past year, it would seem that his little Lions were telling the truth. He’s been helping the WCPD put dangerous people behind bars for decades, without our ever knowing or expecting to be paid or thanked for his assistance.” Picking at a hangnail a moment, icy blue eyes fixate on the folder still clutched in Obi’s hands. “And while I don’t exactly approve of, or condone, his methods, we’ve failed him once already. I don’t wish to do so again.”
Always one to play devil’s advocate, Obi hums, not believing a word that comes out of his mouth. “Case file says he’s the one who shot Atri.” 
“Yes, it does.” Knowing the file word for word as Obi does, Izana meets his stare head-on and says calmly, “With a standard, police issued Glock 22.” 
It’s as close to admitting to Zen’s fuck-up as he’s ever heard coming from Izana’s lips; and it almost makes him come up short. Almost makes him hold his tongue and start flicking through the file in his hands. Still, Obi pushes one last time, for good measure, “Mukaze never bothered to deny the accusations or charges placed against him. It was a pretty cut and dry case.”
“The man has spent a lifetime working in the shadows to save and protect the citizens of this city.” Hushed words dance off the tip of his tongue, like he believes what he says is some big secret and not common knowledge for anyone with half a brain cell who’s willing to pay attention to the details. “You don’t think he’d be willing to trade his freedom, for the sake of protecting a young, frightened cop, who’s just made the biggest mistake of his career?”
“So,” oddly proud and grateful to Izana for what he’s said - what he’s finally admitted, in fewer words - Obi sort-of manages to keep his smile to himself as he sighs, “you want me to track him down, before anyone else can get to him, correct?”
Izana hums, “As we are, in a way, directly responsible for the situation he now finds himself in, that would be ideal, yes.” 
Obi flicks the folder open in his lap. Skims the first page. “What do we know?”
“Unfortunately, not much of anything.” An annoyed huff, like a child who’s grown frustrated after having been told ‘no’. “The guard - Itoya - hasn’t returned to work since the night Mukaze escaped and, from what we’ve been able to find, hasn’t resurfaced anywhere else.”
“Great.” This is already one of the thinnest case folders he’s ever seen in his life and it’s not comforting that even Izana’s coming up empty-handed in his initial search for intel. Obi flips the page over and has to keep himself from inhaling sharply. “Who’s this?”
The photo is grainy. Pulled from a security camera and blown up to show focus on the woman’s face. Even washed in gray and pixelated, it’s easy to see that she’s beautiful. Someone you’d notice, walking down the street. A face not easily forgotten.
His chest grows tight. Heart throbs.
Beautiful as she may be though, it’s not her face, nor the worried frown she wears as she checks over her shoulder, like she’s looking to see if she’s been followed, that catches and holds his attention.
It’s the jacket. 
The jacket with thorned vines crawling up the arms. Black, denim, and distressed enough that it looks like it’s about to fall apart.
And while it could just be a coincidence, there’s something in his gut whispering it’s not.
“We don’t know.” Izana shrugs. Swivels his chair back and forth and brings his fist up to rest his chin atop as he offers, “She visited him a few days before the breakout. Signed herself in as ‘S.T.’, only stayed a handful of minutes, and then disappeared, just like the guard.”
Obi licks his lips. Taps the image. “I may know where to find her.”
Izana’s brow quirks. Eyes widen slightly in a way that suggests Obi could have just confirmed the existence of aliens, and he’d have been less surprised than he is now. Still, calm and level as ever, he asks, “You know her?”
“No.” Gaze drops back down to the image in his lap and he runs a finger across the vines painted halfway up her back. “But, I know this jacket.” 
“Oh?”
How Izana’s able to ask a full question with only a single sound is beyond him. A trick he’d like to learn, one day. 
And a trick he loathes today.
Obi takes a deep breath. Right hand crawls up his chest to latch onto his shoulder. Fingers dig deep. The truth bubbles up like bile.
He always sorta figured that he’d be found out one day. That he might find himself among those arrested when the cops are called in to investigate a padlocked gate blown wide open, or a noise complaint from the homes surrounding the old abandoned factory out on the west side. 
He even thought that, when it did eventually happen, one of his own squad members would throw him in the back of a cruiser with an incredulous, ‘are you fucking kidding me, Obi’ muttered under their breath; but he never thought he’d be the one to turn himself in. To confess to his boss - to the Chief of Police - that he spends a good chunk of his free time breaking into and trespassing on private property. Or admit that he’s regularly surrounded by people with roots so deep into the underground, they’re almost untouchable.
“Ah.” Izana says, knowing. Unsurprised and unfazed. “This is in relation to your extracurriculars?” 
“It is.” Obi nods, tense. Waiting for Izana to break out the handcuffs, and not in a fun way. 
Seeming almost intrigued, he just hums and leans in ever so slightly. “How recently was this?”
“Last night.” Obi swallows hard. Glances back down at the photo. 
A memory loops in his mind and he watches as slender, gloved fingers shoot out of the crowd at the announcer's call for Thorn to step forward. A child - or, perhaps in this case, a young woman barely clearing five feet - is pushed towards the launch point. Thorns and vines slither their way up the arms of the jacket. A bleeding rose is painted on the bottom of the board. 
And he stupidly thinks this’ll be the easiest money he’s ever made.
“But you’re unable to say for certain whether it was her?”
“Unfortunately, all I’m able to tell you with complete confidence is that this jacket was there last night.” Tossing the image up onto the desk so Izana can get a better look, he clears his throat, “If she was the one wearing it, then she definitely didn’t want anyone knowing she was there.”
In boney, graceful fingers, the photo bends and flops backwards as Izana stares at him over it and questions, “What makes you say that?”
“She was wearing a blacked-out motorcycle helmet and, best as I can figure, didn’t say a word to anyone.” Obi slumps back into his chair. Leg starting to bounce as he nibbles at the edge of his thumb. Grumbles, “She just showed up, kicked my ass, and left.”
“Hold on, she beat you?” He snorts, “Oh my, she must be incredibly talented.” With every word, Izana looks more and more like a man about ready to choke; as in, if he doesn’t shut up soon, Obi’ll be the one choking him. “That, or the rumours I’ve heard of you are incredibly misleading.”
“If it was her, I may have just-” souring a little more, his knee starts to ache for how violently his leg is shaking. Arms cross over his chest. “Underestimated her a little. That’s all.” 
It’s one thing for Suzu to tease him, as Suzu’s been there almost every race he’s had, since they were kids; but for Izana - his boss, who’s not even meant to know he skates - to be openly laughing at him, like it’s the funniest fucking thing he’s ever heard in his life-
That’s a bit of a kick in the pants.
“Clearly.” Having himself a good little chuckle, thinking it hilarious that there’s a very good chance Obi got his ass handed to him by the very same woman he’s now gotta try to track down and ask for help, Izana makes a show of wiping at his eyes. He hums, a final hiccup of a chuckle escaping. “What was the bet, if I might ask?”
Still a bit sore over it, Obi avoids meeting Izana’s gaze as he mumbles, ashamed. “Almost a month’s wages.”
Izana whistles. Rocks back in his chair and holds the photo up again. “Well, if she is connected to all of this, you’ve just provided her funds enough to lay low for a while.” 
Maybe it’s not meant as one, but it sure feels like a dig at him. Like Izana’s somehow trying to blame him for not being briefed on this sooner. For - as he so kindly put it - acting the idiot in his free time.
“When’s the next event?”
“Dunno yet.” Obi shrugs, “This weekend, maybe?”
Not the answer he’d been hoping for, based on the way the corner of his lips twitch in the slightest frown. “Given the amount of cash she walked away with last night, what do you think the odds are of her returning so soon?”
“Depends.” He rubs at his shoulder. Bites his tongue and swallows down his words to keep himself from admitting he hopes she’ll show up again. That, if it really and truly was her who kicked his ass last night, he’d like to talk to her; and not just about this case or Mukaze’s whereabouts.
“On?”
“Her.” At Izana’s confusion, Obi sighs. Relaxes back into the chair until he fills it completely and drags a hand down his face. “Look at it this way, Chief... I skate, because I love to skate. It’s my something. The winnings are just a nice… perk.” Even without looking at him, it’s clear that Izana has dangerous questions about just how often and how much extra revenue he’s bringing in from these events - all of it untaxed and under the table; and before he can get a word in edgewise, Obi continues, “But what’s a perk for me, might be the only reason she showed up in the first place.”
Fresh understanding makes him nod. Thoughtful and slow. “I don’t imagine it’s cheap to harbour fugitives.”
“Exactly. Entering herself in these events gives her a chance to make some quick cash. All under the table, and no questions asked.” His knee starts to bounce again.  “All she has to do is win and it’s hers.” Mind already trying to think on ways he might approach her, if she shows up again. “And after having beat me last night, there’s likely to be a lineup of skaters wanting to take her on and see how they stack up… the bets placed against her next event will make what she won from me last night look like petty cash.”
Izana sits in silence a moment, staring intently at the photo of the woman still clutched in his hands; one finger sliding along the edge, like he means to give himself one hell of a nasty papercut, his jaw works tightly. 
After years of being on the force - of reporting to Izana and trusting the leads and advice he gives - Obi knows it’s best to let him think this one through. Not to interrupt with questions on how they should be approaching this, or if he’ll be working the case solo. Given enough time to sit and think through their next steps - puzzle it through like they’re all just pawns on a chessboard - Izana will- 
“Alright.” 
Well, that’s sooner than he’d expected. Obi blinks a bit stupidly at Izana. 
“I need you to listen to me, detective, and listen well.” He leans forward, casually pushing the photo back across the desk towards Obi. An icy blue gaze cuts into him as he lowers his voice to a warning sort of growl. “I’m going to ask you to do something and I would like to make it very clear that this is the only opportunity you’ll ever get to do this.”
“Oh?” Intrigued by what this something is, Obi pulls himself halfway out of the chair. Leans his elbows against the desk and searches Izana’s perfect features; like one might when admiring a marble statue.
“I also suggest that you make it convincing.”
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voidsentient · 1 year
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did someone say b99 AU
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ck2k18 · 1 year
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work! fed! develop! sear!
“The Captain won’t fire you just because you messed up his shirt.” It was a perfectly good and reassuring thing to say, but then Kagami continued, “He might fire you if you keep wasting time and don't do your work, though,” to which Marinette groaned and pressed her forehead on the desk. 
from b99 AU chapter 2 hehe
Thanks for the ask!
Send me a word and ill go through my WIP and respond with a sentence or wtv (im too lazy to look up the exact wording of the ask game)
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Crossover AUs are so interesting, mostly because it’s putting together two unlikely fandoms and seeing what happens. And this is another AU exactly like that!
I give to everyone a Brooklyn Nine Nine x Lego Monkie Kid AU where MK is McClane “Mac” Peralta, Jake and Amy’s son!
How does that work? Well, a toddler Mac was stolen away from his parents and wound up in China. He was taken to an orphanage but because nobody knew his name, he was named Xiaotian by the orphanage staff.
Years later, Xiaotian, who started going by Monkie Kid or MK for short after becoming enamored with the legend of Monkey King, has been bounced around different foster homes. He never stayed long for various reasons. He eventually got placed with Pigsy and Tang. Wanting to not feel like a burden on his foster dads no matter that they tried reassuring him he wasn’t, MK started working at Pigsy’s.
On the other side of things, back in Brooklyn, the Nine Nine has never lost hope in finding Mac, though as years passed with no word about him, hope waned that they’d find him alive. When Jake and Amy get a tip though that their son is possibly alive and in China, they decide to take a chance and go see for themselves.
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applecherry108 · 1 year
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This is why Casey had to be the one to go back.
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ivycorp · 1 year
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@paraxodicalundressing I could not resist
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raiisakitsune · 1 year
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Canon? Who is she?? Never heard of her. I only know my best friend, the best of them all, imaginary world of my maladaptive daydreaming.
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harringroveera · 1 year
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Max: So, meeting Steve’s dad for the first time, huh? You nervous?
Dustin: Yeah, a little
Max: I was talking to Billy
Billy: No, Max, I am not nervous. I'm confident that I'll make a great first impression on Mr. Harrington
Will: My advice is don't be overconfident. The first time Mike introduced me to his parents as his boyfriend, I said Ted’s favorite music is mediocre. They haven't spoken to me since
Billy: Really? Just for that?
Will: Yes...also because they're huge homophobes who think that I made Mike gay with my magic genitalia
Billy: That's super sad, but you saying "genitalia” is hilarious
Billy: And I am ready for this. I pulled a full Nancy and researched the fuck out of him. Made this sweet binder. Just a couple of factoids about Steve’s dad: He's a businessman, 65 years old, married for 36 years. I know everything about him, therefore I know exactly the type of person I need to be in order for him to think I'm good enough for Steve
Eleven: Billy, you're fine. Just flash him your baby blues, he'll love it. Just be yourself
Billy: Be myself? El, I have one day to win over Steve’s dad
Billy: How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Robin: Couple weeks
Lucas: Six months
Mike: Jury's still out
Billy: See, El? "Be myself," what kind of garbage advice is that?
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ilayathenu · 12 days
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buck: thanks, pops.
buck: why is everyone staring at me?
ravi: you just called bobby dad. you said ‘thanks, pops.’
buck: what? no, i didn’t. i said ‘thanks, cap.’
bobby: do you see me as a father figure, buck?
buck: no. if anything, i see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me!
chimney: hey! show your father some respect!
buck, whining: i didn’t call him dad!
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lvckyuh · 1 year
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Cowboy AU
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AU Info :)
This is not a flushed out idea but here are some details I like to note
Raymond’s a cowboy but he still wears impeccable dark blue. His clothing also has gold stitching where his nypd cuffs and links would be. He has a lieutenant patch on his arm. And his gun is the same one he’s used in the show.
He comes from county 18, like how Holt’s old precinct was 18.
Raymond’s horse is named Peanut-butter like Sargent PB
Kevin’s outfit design is heavily inspired by a character his actor voices called Sparks Nevada. Also I made Kevin say Sparks catchphrase “I’m… from earth”, mostly because it makes him look flustered.
Second panel is more of a one off with no context but my context is Raymond see’s his boss taking a nap with a book he recommended him, he says “I’m in love”
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foul-z-fowl · 2 years
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Voltron B99 AU Pt.????
Allura: *holding up two pictures of trash* One of these is a garbage dump in the Philippines. The other is the inside of your locker. Can you tell which is which?
Lance: ... That's the dump
Allura: They're BOTH YOUR LOCKER!
Lance: Aw, I should've guessed that. She's good.
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