#in reality you need to fucking get a life

[confessioncassette]

The Belly of a Black Heart - Alastor x Reader

18+. minors do not interact.

thank you @lustylita for the inspiration of this fic. your mind is a beautiful place. everyone check out her art and her concept to this story here. all credits to her, this was not my idea.

part 2

summary : After an unsuspecting death, you end up in hell and at the Hazbin Hotel. You become dead set on redemption. Alastor's feelings towards you are confusing and it pisses him off more than he can handle. In result, unknowingly to him, his feelings manifest through his shadow.

tw : no smut this chapter. angst. alastor being a jerk. mild gore/wound

words : 5.3k

notes : i hope you enjoy this chapter <3

When you wake the next morning, your head is a blur. Sitting up in your bed you take a minute to look around your new living situation. It takes a second to understand that this isn’t the room you usually wake up in but, despite all of that, you feel good. 

The reality of being in hell was hard on you yesterday. You’ve had your little breakdown and denial fest.. you won’t let that bother you today. Pushing past things is how you manage. Always one step at a time. Plus, you’re in a place that offers redemption now. What’s done is done and now you can focus on how to get into heaven and maybe sort out a plan there. With God or something, right? 

He’s literally God, maybe he could help your situation on earth. You doubt anyone here could help you… or even want to help you. 

No headaches, your body doesn’t burn… today feels like you can start fresh. Rolling to get out of bed, your eyes catch a bundle of red in the corner of your eye.  

Three red peonies tied together in a bow lay delicately over your unoccupied pillow.

You examine the vibrant flowers and thumb around the stems. You wonder who was thoughtful enough to give a simple yet welcoming gift. 

Alastor’s fleeting expression and charming smile snatches your memory from last night. Your face almost burns, remembering how close he was to you, his face grazing against your cheek, breath fanning over you as it does. 

Smiling to yourself, you think today would be a good day to get back on track. Charlie is willing to help you, and you might learn more about the gentleman from last night. You can even thank him for the lovely flowers. 

The hotel buzzes with life when you walk to the formal dining room. Delicious breakfast foods waft through the air. The warm smell of coffee buzzes through your body. 

“C’mon Husky, don’t chya wanna try it? I’ve been slavin’ over this all mornin’ for ya!” A tall, fluffy man leans over the dining room table, sliding a plate of food to a grumpy cat. 

“Fuck no! Satan knows what you put in there and I don’t wanna risk dying twice.” Taking a swig from a browned bottle, the cat pushes away the plate. 

The tall man’s shoulder slump as he lets out a groan. “Fine, but one day you’re gunna try my cookin’ and you’ll love it. You might even beg for moore.” He teases, taking the plate for himself as Husk rolls his eyes. 

“Oh, good morning! How was your first night?” Charlie beams from the head of the table and everyone’s heads swivel to you. Suddenly, you’re on the spot. 

“It was great, thank you. I actually had the best sleep I’ve had in a while,” you smile, “I needed it.” 

“Everyone welcome our new guest! She arrived late last night.” 

It was a small creature with a giant eye who lunged herself toward you first. Her little legs patting the floor and up your body before you could react. 

“I’m Nifty, I clean.” A sinister giggle erupts from her lips before the tall man who offered.. Husk is it?.. a plate gently and removes her from you. 

“Hey doll, I’m Angel.”

Alastor watches from the hallway as the group introduces themselves to you. Hidden in the shadows, he watches you closely. The way you smile fondly towards people you barely know, how you embrace each one with a greeting. Clearly, you lighten the room. But you’re a mystery, and one he doesn’t want to get involved with. 

Does he? 

Your sweet doe eyes are burned in a memory. He couldn’t help but get close enough to smell you, and fuck, did your saccerine smell burn through his nostrils as well. He could see your panic, the reality of your new eternal life smacking you in the face… the frustration it caused you last night. 

But were you really keen on redemption? He could see the light beam behind your eyes once you stood at the center of your room. You belong here, you’re here for a reason. It’s hell afterall. Every sinner who comes here belongs to this wretched place to burn forever. Surely Charlie’s delusions didn’t persuade you in one night? 

Surely you’re not that…simple? 

“Will Alastor be joining us for breakfast? He’s the only one I haven’t seen this morning.” Alastor ears perk up at your voice from afar. 

“Ehh, smiles doesn’t usually eat with us. Probably up in his room going to town on some animal he caught this mornin’.” Angel grimaces. 

Watching your reaction closely, the slight fall of your face doesn’t go unnoticed. But you’re quick to recover with a smile and dig in with everyone else. 

“Okay everyone! Gather around! Today we will be learning about each other.” Charlie’s hand gestures to you on the couch as everyone else filters into the common room. 

Angel plops himself over the couch’s armchair next to you, stretching his long legs over your thighs. Husk mopes in the room, bottle in hand and leans against the fireplace. Nifty props herself over the table happily swinging her legs and Vaggie stands beside her partner, eyeing everyone down. 

Your eyes carefully glance around the room, trying not to bring attention that you’re looking for Alastor. From your comment at breakfast before, you don’t want to keep bringing the man up to avoid conversations you don’t want to have. 

But it fails. 

“Looking for tall dark and creepy?” Angel shimmies his chest and throws you a wink. 

Rolling your eyes you push playfully at Angel’s leg. “No, just making sure everyone is here.” Giving him a side eye you whisper, “nosey.”

Angel laughs and gives you a nudge, “Well looks like you’re in luck toots, looks who’s comin’.” 

Perking up, you watch Alastor’s tall form stride in the room and take a seat in an armchair directly across from you. His smile is wide, but it seems strained? Folding one leg over the other, he relaxes back into his seat. His eyes scan the room, probably checking for roll-call, before landing directly over you. 

You give a smile but he doesn’t react. 

“Okay! Now that everyone is here, we will be telling 2 truths and a lie. Everyone will say two truths about themselves and one lie. The group will have to guess which one is a lie. So fun!” Charlie claps. 

“I don’t want to put our new guest on the spot, so let’s start with Husk.”

A low groan emits from the fireplace where Husk stands. He really looks like he doesn’t want to be here, but maybe he’s been here long enough to know that he has to participate. 

“Alright, uh, I can down a whole bottle of whiskey with no reaction, I suck at dice games, and I hate water.”

“I’ll give you something to down, Husky~” Angel tosses his head back and blows him a kiss. 

“For fuckssake,” Husk rolls his eyes.

“Oh oh! I know, the lie is he hates water! I’ve seen him take bubble baths at night.” Nifty giggles sinisterly. 

“Okay good job, Nifty.” Vaggie cringes and turns her attention to you, “Would you like to give it a try next?” 

Glancing between her and Alastor’s heavy stare, has he been looking at you this whole time? You shrug. “Sure, I'll give it a shot. Let me think…” You hum. 

“I’ve been in hell for a long time, I love to dance and I’m pretty good at it, and I stole drugs when I was alive.” You’re not that great with coming up with things on the spot, but you gave it your best shot. First things that came to your mind and all without being too personal. 

Angel drags out a hum, “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you can dance. Not sure if I would paint you as someone who would steal. You act like Miss-goodie-two-shoes’s-distant relative over there. I’m gunna go with that one.”

You couldn’t help but contain your smile, you could have sworn that your appearance gave you away that you literally died just yesterday. 

“Nope! I died yesterday and found this place last night. Thank god I saw your commercial, I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t.” 

Angel’s mouth drops open and leans forward. “Hold on, you’re like, super fresh? No kiddin’. So… you stole drugs?” He looks you up and down, “can you do it again?” 

“Matter of fact, we don’t know much about you. Anything at all really. I’ll take it you’re here because you stole, but there’s gotta be more than that.” Husk examines his bottle. 

You shift in your seat uncomfortably. “Yeah, I stole but- I don’t know.” Memories of stealing drugs, scamming people for money flood your mind. That stuff was bad, but did it really land you here in hell? I’m sure it’s a part of the 10 commandments or sins or whatever… 

The man. Your knife. 

You killed someone right before dying. 

“What drugs do you like? I got some good connections. We could totally-”

“No! Nonono, no one is going to do that. Say no to drugs! Remember we are trying to get redeemed?” Charlie’s arms wave frantically as she lets out a nervous laugh. 

It was all for protection. You never wanted to hurt anyone like that before, it’s not like you wake up blood thirty for killing. It was self defense. 

Guilt bubbles within your gut, and it’s getting hard to breathe. Would they even care if you killed? You’re sure almost everyone in hell has killed, even in the afterlife. 

“C’mon, toots, tell us a little about yourself. This is about sharing after-all,” Angel teases. “I wanna know all the shit you did when you were alive! You sound like a good time, Y’know my girl buddy would love you-”

“I think that’s enough for today.” A staticy voice interrupts the conversation. Your head swivels to meet the demon who carries a strained smile. The hair on his ears stick up in a frenzy while his claws grip over the top of his microphone cane. 

“But Alastor we barely got star-”

“I think,” Alastors voice grows with static, every word pronounced precisely, “that is enough for today.”

Angel's legs slide off you as he stands to stretch, “Aww what a buzzkill.”

Before you have the chance to leave the room, your face is met with Alastor’s chest. 

He lifts his chin, but his eyes bore down at yours. Your eyes shoot wide with the proximity, and something within his chest spurs as wait for him to speak. 

“I would like to speak with you privately, my dear.”

Following him up the stairs and into his radio tower, you tread lightly in new territory. Papers over his desk are neatly stacked next to a forgotten cup of coffee. The walls are floor to ceiling windows overlooking Pride, you’ve come to know. Dusk stretches the horizon and little dots of light twinkle in the distance over the city. On the other side of the room, old equipment lined the wall. Hundreds of knobs and switches cover the machines and you wonder how he’s able to work such equipment. Speakers, extra microphones sat upon a bookshelf along with books, magazines and other nic-nacs you’re sure he has collected through the years. 

You’re not sure how old the demon is, and you’re not sure how you haven’t thought about it since meeting him, especially when he has taken up most of your mind these past 24 hours. 

You guess he’s from the roaring 20’s? 30’s? He’s dressed sophisticatedly with not a hair out of place. His posture paints him a perfect gentleman in a society where it mattered. His transatlantic accent was smooth and you long to hear it more than you should, or do. And guessing by this set up, the ON AIR sign that hangs directly over his desk, you could be right. 

But what of this demon? What is his story? You’ll put a pin in it and ask angel later-

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I brought you here so I’ll cut to the chase.” Alastor’s arms are neatly behind his back as he looks over Pride. Without turning to you, he continues. 

“I’m looking for more help around the hotel. Husk’s job is primarily tending to the bar, Nifty cleans and Charlie is over her head with trying to recruit sinners. I’d like to say that I have everything handled with paperwork and trying to keep this pace afloat, but I don’t.”

Your brows furrow in confusion. He.. can’t handle it all? He definitely gives the calm, cool collected attitude of one who would never need help. 

“So, you need my help? I thought I was just a sinner trying to get redemption?” 

Alastor stiffens for a moment before turning to you. “I thought you should know that Charlie and I had a discussion earlier. We think that you fit into the family seamlessly. We both thought you would be great at helping us with our little project.” He tilts his head, scanning you over, “Unless you don’t want to?” 

You shake your head. This might not be a bad idea. This could actually help you in more ways than one. This could help you more with gaining redemption and be a part of a bigger picture. 

“No, that all sounds great actually. What exactly do you have in mind for me to help you with?” 

“More of the mundane things like checking over the hotel to make sure everything is in order, placing orders for food, toilet paper - the essentials.”

“So the mundane things you don’t want to do?” You laugh lightheartedly. “Sure, Alastor, I can do that for you. Do you have a check list for me?”

In one snap, Alastor conjures up a daily ‘to-do” list for you. Your eyes widen at his magic.

“If you can do that, why can’t you make food and toilet paper appear instead of ordering it?” 

His smile is smug, “It’s a lot more complicated than that, little doe” 

Turning on your heel, you say over your shoulder, “One day, I’d like to properly thank you for the flowers you left me.”

He watches you disappear through the doorway, confusion carved over his face. Flowers? 

What an interesting thing to say… An odd woman. 

Woman. Your presence had been the first in his studio.

Charlie and the guests know that no one is allowed in this room, for it’s locked 24/7. This room is his pride, his sanctuary and the one thing he’s carried on since dying. Besides killing and torturing innocent people, he supposes. 

Clawing at the staff of his cane he shakes the thought of your company being… comforting. 

His ear twitches in frustration. This foreign feeling- this odd hunger for catching your eye in a sea of others, to smell you near has become a twisted form of entertainment. He has to ignore the way his lower belly heats and aches when you're near…Is it entertainment? He stares at the door where you just stood. 

Is his curiosity growing in the little moments you spend together or is it something he can’t pinpoint? His facade will fail to hold if he continues like this. 

A predator assessing his pray like it’s a game. Except, it doesn’t feel like that kind of a hunt. 

-

Stepping out from the bathroom after your nighttime routine, a darkness catches the corner of your eye. 

“Hello?” you call out. 

The darkness in the corner slithers across the floor and manifests itself in the center of your room. 

You curse under your breath, while it’s not the craziest thing you’ve seen, it’s definitely unexpected. 

“Um, hello there…” You stay standing in the doorway of your bathroom. Looking the creature over as it stands tall. 

The creature, no, shadow, is dark, but you can make out that its body is made up of swirling smoke. It’s face gives a chiseled smile, imitating teeth through the smoke, and resting on top of it’s head were a pair of outgrown antlers that stretch wide. 

You tilt your head at the creature, curious on why it hasn’t responded to you. 

It tilts his head back, mimicking your movement. 

“Cute,” you giggle, “what are you?” 

The shadows' eyes glow green in response and gives you a bigger grin. 

“Are you here at the hotel too? I just got here yesterday…” you shift on the balls of your feet. “Do you have a name?” 

The shadow dissipates into the ground and for a moment, you’re spooked. Backing up into your bathroom, a coldness caresses your neck from behind. 

Spinning around fast, you’re met with it again. The creature folds forward to meet your face. 

Oh fuck no. 

You fumble backwards a little too fast but the creature is quick to catch you by an arm. It steadies you easily. 

“You’re.. Good, right? Friend?” The words fall stupidly out of your mouth. You feel like you’re talking to a child in simple words and a sweet voice. God knows that this creature is probably thousands of years old but you’re speaking to it like it lacks some form of intelligence. 

The creature smiles and nods, backing away from you before wisping itself around your body in a cloud of smoke. 

Warmth surrounds your body, unlike the coldness around your neck from before. 

“Friend, okay…good.” You smile and embrace the dance it gives you.

The creature manifests itself over in front of your nightstand and the bundle of shadows steps aside to reveal the red peonies from this morning. Your eyebrows raise and realization hits you.

“That was you? What a lovely gift to give.. To me.” Surprise followed by stupidity hits you in the last bit of that sentence. 

How could you be so stupid to think Alastor would give you those flowers? He hasn’t even spent much time around you, let alone want to speak to you. Every time you’re in the vicinity of him, he pretends you don’t exist. 

Foolish. 

Foolish to think that he would even take a liking to you. 

And you mentioned it to him hours ago… God, he’s probably so confused and you look like a fucking idiot. 

The shadow slumps at your reaction. Its swirls grow faster over its body, like the wheels in its head are thinking of a way to cheer you up. 

Warmth caresses around your hips and playfully drags you to your bed. You let it happen because, for some ungodly reason, you trust this shadow. 

It’s gentle hand lingers over your face, brushing over the skin of your cheek. A familiar feeling. Almost like the feeling of last night when Alastor’s-

No. 

The creature lifts your chin to look at him as he takes a seat by you on the bed and you mentally brush away the cringe.

You both stare at each other for a moment. You're entranced by its odd behavior. Although, its presence feels familiar, a kind of nostalgia you cannot place. His warmth feels like a gentle hug, a friend in the darkness when you're alone. 

The faint smell of whiskey, a bar of soap and lemongrass. 

A warm song that dances inside your nostrils. 

Your room is quiet, as you let the shadow tickle your face and neck. 

Soft music begins to play when your eyes fight sleep. But you give into the lull of the shadows lullaby. 

-

From that first night of meeting the creature, you’re woken up gently by it patting your head and urging you to get dressed. Funny enough, the creature disappears while you get ready, giving you privacy. But ultimately, you wouldn’t mind it at all if it stayed. 

One night, after a particularly hard day working under Alastor, you named the being. 

Umbra.

Not the most creative, but it was the first thing that popped in your head… and he, you’ve come to find out, was quite happy with the new nickname. 

You weren’t sure where he came from, what he is, or what manifested himself to you that night, but you’re thankful for the company. 

Umbra was quiet. He never spoke, but damn is he funny. Every night, he meets you in your room practically bouncing off the walls, or more so sliding everywhere in a mist of shadows and patiently listens when you talk about your day. 

Every morning you wake up with new little flowers over your unoccupied pillow. Each of them a bundle of red, for some reason. But lovely all the same. 

It became a nightly routine to where he’ll lull you to sleep with gentle caresses and soft old-timey music. 

And it’s given you the best sleep of your life. 

Alastor however, has been more distant than before. When asking for new lists everyday, he’ll stare down at you through lowered eyelids and hand you a list bigger than the last. 

He never questioned your flowers comment, but you’re sure he hasn’t forgotten. 

Though, through his aloof attitude, he still invades your personal space when talking to you - and he only talks to you when it’s absolutely needed. His stare burns new holes through you everyday before he locks himself up in his radio tower until dinner or Charlie's group exercises. 

“Smiles has been such a fucking jerk lately, what did you do to’m?” Angel slumps over the armchair, preoccupied with texting. 

“Me? He hardly talks to me! Everyday he’ll just hand me a list to do and disappears.”

“That’s exactly the problem, ever since he’s offered you a job here he’s been acting like there's a stick up his ass more than normal. You must being doin’ shit at your job.” He nudges you and you both laugh. 

“Yeah, no idea. I try to talk to him. He’s the one person in this whole place I don’t even know about… but he ignores me.”

“I don’t think he completely ignores you, doll face. Do you notice how you’re the only thing he can look at when you’re around? Hard to get him to help Charlie lately, too.”

You blush and drag your gaze to the floor. “No, I didn’t notice that. What’s his deal anyways?” 

Angel went into detail about how Alastor wa/is one of the most powerful overlords in the Pride ring. 7 years ago he disappeared or some shit but 7 months ago he came back and randomly ended up here. Some bullshit about wanting to help Charlie with her ridiculous delusions about saving a sinner. He’s just here for the ‘entertainment’, but he’s been a big help honestly. Especially in his battle during the extermination - before he got wounded. 

Wounded? He could get hurt? A powerful overlord who has thousands of contracted souls could get… hurt? But there airs another question…

He doesn’t believe in redemption? 

Your thoughts were cut short by a shadow carrying a mischievous grin lurking in the hallway. Umbra swirls in a mist of shadows as his eyes glow green and gestures for you to follow him. 

Raising from the couch you head his way. 

“Maybe he just needs some good head!” Angel calls out to you.

You follow Umbra as he slithers over the carpet, manifests himself over the walls and guides you upstairs. His cute grin makes you laugh, and you're excited to see what he has in store for you today. 

Not noticing that you pass your own room, your eyes only watching Umbra flee with excitement, he leads you to a door at the end of a hallway. He turns to you, looking you once over and dissipates through the door. 

Knowing you want him to follow, and without a second thought, your hand turns the knob and you fly inside Alastor’s radio room. 

There, hunched over his desk wearing only his long sleeve undershirt and pants, Alastor’s back is turned to you. 

“Who the fuck,” Alastor’s head turns over his shoulder, black eyes blown wide as his red pupils snap to you. 

“Alastor- shit, I’m,” you back away, accidentally shutting the door behind you. 

“Has anyone taught you proper manners? Don’t you know that walking in on someone is-” Every word cuts through you like a knife, the static in his voice grows louder in every syllable. The lights flicker around you as Alastor’s body grows larger in scale, his antlers growing wide. 

“I didn’t know!” You yell honestly, you didn't know. Or, you weren’t paying attention. 

“The door was locked, how did you get in here?” Red liquid oozes out of his mouth as his empty black eyes stare you down. But you’re not looking at the anger on his face, or the way his body engulfs the room. No, you're looking at how his arm covers a wound on his side. Your eyes scan to the side, where ointments and bandages lay askew over his desk. 

“You’re hurt, Alastor.” 

The radio demon stops, and for a moment, you catch surprise painted in his features. 

“Let me help?” You offer, taking a step forward. 

He doesn’t move. 

“Get out.” 

You step forward, unafraid of his form. He's hurt, and you can see the blood squelching against his hand, dripping to the floor. 

You reach out, covering your hand over his bloodied one and your eyes flicker upwards to the beast before you. 

A silent plea to let him help. If he’s been doing this on his own since the extermination, he hasn’t been doing a great job at mending it. 

He gives a frustrated sigh, and shrinks back down to his normal self. Internally rolling your eyes at how easy that was to do… an all powerful overlord listening to you was a confidence booster to say the least. 

You look down to assess the wound. His red undershirt wet and stained with blood on the right side of his torso. 

You flash him a look for silent permission, and he nods ever so slightly, his eyes fixated on your face. You begin to unbutton his shirt from the top down. You scan your fingers delicately over his chest and down towards the wound. Alastor lets out a shaky sigh that goes unnoticed by you. 

You expose his torso more by opening up his shirt to get a better look. Alastor leans back in his chair and curves his hips upwards ever so faintly. You swallow, fighting the demons in your head to take a closer look at his exposed body. 

“Looks… bad.” You manage to say, focusing only on the wound before gentle fingers slide under your chin and angle your face upwards so he can see you fully. 

And you swear, that for a moment, something swirls deep within his gaze. Something more than he lets on. A flash of hope? Eagerness?

Now’s not the time.

You clear your throat before grabbing supplies and getting to work. 

Alastor was silent as you mended him. His eyes never left your face as you cleaned the wound and bandaged it neatly. 

“All better!” You chime, doing your best to ignore the buzz on your chin from his touch, “Next time you try to do this yourself, try to find me? I don’t think it’s healed right for at least a couple weeks. You’re lucky it hasn’t gotten infected.” 

“We’re in hell, dear, I’m sure there’s worse things to worry about than an infected wound.”

He didn’t even bother to say thank you. 

Is this the sophisticated and well-mannered demon Charlie raved about? The helpful demon that made this hotel?

You let out a breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding and your shoulders shrug downward. 

“Is there a reason why you’ve been so avoidant since I arrived? Everyone has been talking about how you’ve been acting differently since I showed up. Why is that? Did I do anything to you?” You avoid his eye contact by putting away the medical supplies inside a metal box. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, dear. I’ve always been the same.” He leans back in his chair. 

Something doesn’t add up. 

“Everyone talks about how you’re this powerful overlord, yet you lock yourself up in this tower all day and night. They all talk about how you were always around and ever since me you’re nowhere to be found.”

“I’d watch your mouth, little doe.” He snarls, but doesn’t move from his chair.

You stand, and for once you’re just taller than him even when he’s sitting down. Stories you’ve heard, the things the other residents say about him - nothing is adding up. Angel even went out of his way to ask what the fuck you did to him to act like this. 

“I can’t help but think that you’re trying to avoid me. Are you scared of me or something? Or do you just like to see me do all of your bitch work so you don’t have to look at me?” 

“And why,” Alastor stands, towering over you. You never realized how much taller and broader he is compared to you. His entire frame engulfs your size. “Would I be scared of a pathetic, weak sinner who died so easily doing something so reckless and ended up here?”

A beat, “I’d go far as to say you’re forgettable in this cesspool. Why would I go out of my way to avoid that?” He hums, lowering to your level at the waist. You want to punch that smug smile on his face. 

You ball your fists and keep his eye contact. You scrunch up your nose and grind out every word with anger, “That’s hilarious coming from someone who did the same. Not so different, you and I.”

You didn’t care enough to see his expression before turning on your heel and head straight to your room.

Sinking onto your bed, you throw your head between your hands with a groan. 

Asshole. Fucking asshole. 

It doesn't take long before a presence in front of you lingers, and a warm caress slithers over your cheek. 

“Not now, Umrba. I’m not in the mood.” 

Umbra’s smokey hand tugs gently at your arm, pulling it forward and causing your head to droop. You allow him to pull you up and into an embrace. 

Scents of whiskey, soap and lemongrass once again fill your head. A lovely haze that you’ve come to cherish. A friend. 

A comfort. 

A beautiful melody fills the air, and swallows you whole. Umbra’s body shakes with a staticy old tune. 

“I’ll never smile again, until I smile at you”  The voices sing a beautiful sorrowful melody, filling the air. Umbra’s arms skate over you and places his hands in yours. 

The stance of a dance. 

Umbra guides your one arm over his back, there he rests the other around your waist. A close embrace that you happily welcome.

“For tears would fill my eyes, my heart would realize…” 

Guiding your hips in a gentle sway, you rest your cheek on his torso. The both of you sway to the melody slowly in your dimly lit room. 

And, like always, the shadow doesn’t say a word. And maybe you like it that way. With all the chaos pounding loudly in your head, Umbra can always grant you the safe space you need. No judgment, no games. 

No words. 

Umbra pulls you around in a dizzying spin on your toes, earning a giggle from you. The music crescendos softly.

“I’ll never love again, I’m so in love with you…”

Guiding you around your room, you follow his lead. Wisps of smoke trail after him and curl at the bottom of your feet. Warmth is all you can feel. 

You’re picked up swiftly and spun like a child before being placed softly in your bed. Umbra continues to play the melody until you are cast away in blissful sleep. 

“Within my heart, I know I will never start to smile again, until I smile at you.”

taglist : @hazbinsimp777 @rapturenyx @kaytemchugh

#alastor x reader #alastor smut #alastor #alastor x reader smut #alastor hazbin hotel

[rainba]

So… what happens if their darling isn’t attracted to men but… WOMEN?! 😳🫣

Just a thought I had for a while! I love all of your posts and your OCs are ADORABLE!!!!!!

-🇰🇷 anon

Luka and Kairos literally crying and shaking….. 

What do you mean you’re attracted to women… And not men!!?!?

｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡

In all honesty, I don’t think either one of them would be able to get over it.

For Kairos, when he first learns that his darling is only attracted to women, he wouldn’t believe it at first. For weeks on end, he tries to delude himself into thinking that you’re lying, only to be hit with the cold hard reality that you’ll just… Never be attracted to him. (T_T)

So– what does he do in response?

Well, he dresses up as a woman, of course! His plan is this: he masquerades as a woman, finds a way to make you fall in love with him, and the moment that you agree to be with him is when he’ll reveal that he’s actually a guy..!

…He hopes that if you fall in love with him first, you’ll be able to ignore the fact that he’s not actually a woman and can make an exception for him! Right..? Right?

If you don’t, he’d end up flying into a panic and would have a total mental breakdown.

“I– I’m sorry I’m not a woman! I… Please, please, w-we’re soulmates! Y-you can’t do this to me!” 

Kairos would be clinging to your legs and begging for you to accept his love. He'll do whatever it takes to have you- even if that results in guilt tripping and blackmail. (つω`｡) Even if you're not attracted to men, could you at least, you know... Pretend? Just for him?

He'll settle for you just playing pretend- so long as it's believable.

As for Luka, he’d be… A little more accepting of the fact that you only like women. Of course he’s absolutely devastated on the inside, but it’s not like he can do anything. He can’t change your sexuality, and he’s not trans, so…

All he can do is accept it. That’s what he tries to tell himself.

…But his obsession runs deep. It refuses to die. Even after you tell him you only like women, he’ll still find himself longing for you– and honestly, it all feels much more intense, now that he knows he truly just can’t have you.

Luka knows it's petty, but he finds himself sabotaging your relationships anyways. He stalks you, fantasizes about you, monopolizes your attention, tries to manipulate you into hating all of your other friends… It’s almost like he just can’t help himself. He feels pathetic, not being able to just handle the hard rejection and move on with his life. He needs you so badly.

This will keep happening until you fully cut Luka out of your life– where instead, he’ll be forced to forever linger on thoughts of you while keeping his distance. Even after you push him away, he still remains madly in love. (╯︵╰,)

Every relationship he tries to have afterwards, he would only be able to think of you, and what could’ve been. He would be the type to accidentally moan your name while he’s fucking somebody else… ^^;;; Sigh.

…If only you had liked men, too. .｡･ﾟﾟ･(＞_＜)･ﾟﾟ･

Thank you for sending the ask 🇰🇷 anon!!! And TYYYY for liking my stuff + OCs!

(っ˘ω˘ς )

Here's a pic of Kairos dressing up as a woman, hehe.

#ask #kairos posting #luka posting #yandere oc #yandere x reader

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

Moar Buddy Dawn Shit in relation to this post

Buddy was dead for about 10 to 15-maybe-20 minutes. Kristen and Gorgug at the top of Freshman Year were only dead about 3 to 5 minutes and they still got some form of time in the afterlife, (side note: Gorgug not knowing what Orc Heaven looks like and being Deeply Fucking Terrified and shellshocked by the entire experience is So Juicy To Me, like. Something that should by all rights be familiar to him being foreign. Of deep spiritual significance, but not in the way it was 'supposed to be'; he didn't even know how it was 'supposed to be' at the time or after he learned it, he's still not really sure if it was ever a 'supposed to'.) so I'm quite sure Buddy experienced Something beyond the grave and chose to leave it for this nameless aspect of Ankarna. The version of her which exists as a result of her complete death and incomplete resurrection/preservation.

In that 10 to 15 minutes, Buddy passed into the place he was going. Perhaps some cornfield out on the edge of Helio's domain where Helio figured 'I'll get to him or he'll find me sometime, there's literally infinite time here'. Perhaps as a petitioner on the Astral Sea- wait, no, I'm thinking about Rolling With Difficulty cosmology, the Astral Realm is not a sea in Fantasy High. (also go listen to Rolling With Difficulty) Regardless of if he went to the afterlife the adults all told him he'd go to if he'd been a good boy or to some more limbo-like place, he had just enough minutes for the reality to sink in that he's Dead. He's dead and the feeling of a hand gripping his shoulder as if to hoist his assailant high enough to slit his throat presses like a cold weight on his skin. As if this body has skin, no, he's just a solid soul given form in this place.

So jarring. Resting dead in some corner of the cosmos like finding the one empty room at a big loud party where you've mostly been taking things in, sticking close to people you know, not doing anything you're not supposed to. Sitting down on the unfamiliar furniture or swaying idly in place as you listen to the murmur of this foreign world around you. Only it's not like that, not truly at all. You're not at the party anymore, the echoes of your life aren't some thing you're taking a break from to rejoin or building up the nerve to excuse yourself from to get a proper change of scene. There is no going back or moving forward.

He's dead. Buddy Dawn is dead.

How many minutes did it take him to lose composure? Did he even? When the ultimatum was posed to him, did he harden his heart to any regrets about abandoning his original faith, or did he relax into knowing he could live again, in service of something that reached for him and he reached back towards?

Why was he so chipper saying 'Dang, y'all, I worship a nameless god of rage.'? He didn't sound horrified by his decision in much the same way he didn't sound in touch with reality when he said 'Sometimes I raise my hand and magic that burns folks to a crisp comes out, but that's just the lord Helio working through me.' His death didn't change him so much as it fixed his gaze onto something new.

He is still a Cleric. Through and through. His soul needs a divinity to latch onto. And this is the first time he has latched onto a divinity wholly and completely for himself. He was not taught how to live for himself. He was taught how to live and die for a cause. For Helio. He earns a nice afterlife via sacrificing his autonomy to whatever the church tells him is good and right.

But he doesn't want a nice afterlife.

He wants another life.

And he no longer has faith that Helio will deliver him from any hardship, because even after he's just barely grasped how dead he is and has been for the past 11 minutes, his soul is wrent into an ultimatum by a different power. Go back to his body and continue living under a new banner, or be trapped in a dark, solitary purgatory which his soul may never be free from.

It's an easy decision, really. Barely requires any thought, only following a feeling. He no longer wants to stand by the god who allowed him to die so unceremoniously and so unfairly. He honestly feels more betrayed by Helio than he does by Kipperlily. Kipperlily hardly made any promises to him, just asked for him to be the party's cleric. He never expected her to do that, sure, but... His whole life he was promised that every bad emotion he ever felt in response to every wrongness in his life would (should, must, has to) simply evaporate away in the golden light of the corn god. And it's been an eternal 12 minutes, but he only feels worse and worse.

And if all Helio could promise him was a flat expanse of farmland overseen by someone who didn't even properly greet him when he walked in (if the celestial bureaucracy were even doing their jobs and funneled the soul of Helio's cleric to Helio instead of some cosmic waiting room or other), but this nameless deity can promise him a life for himself? Then by god he's taking that ultimatum, come back to life, sit up with a slightly surprised little smile and announce to the world (as he has been taught is right to do when you are devoted to a god) 'I worship a nameless god of rage!'

And he'll be happy with this choice-that-is-not-a-choice which he was betrayed and coerced into. Because it truly feels self indulgent to choose anything. To choose ragefully living for himself instead of obediently dying for an unfulfilling promise. He'll choose the intensity and the darkness because the gentle constant pressure cooker of walking in the light gave him nothing but sunburns and a slit throat.

#fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #i love him #buddy dawn #kristen applebees #gorgug thistlespring #fhjy #dimension 20

[munv]

𝗜𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗦𝗬

𝗜𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝘁𝗼𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗲𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂? 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼?

I MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH MWAH MWAH MWAHH

P8

It was a wednesday, and the day was going perfectly fine, before you were called over into the principals office.

"Itoshi [name], please report to the office. Itoshi [name]" hushed whispers spread out throughout the classroom and in the midst of it your best friend leaned over from her seat to whisper in your ear. "psstt..did you piss someone off?" you turned around to face the girl before letting out  a sigh, "not that I know of..see you at lunch?'

"right!

Quickly, you made a beeline to the main office. The last thing you wanted to be was late, and then find out that you really did something wrong. The urge to crawl into a hole was all consuming not to mention, you mean, why the hell do these kids stare so much? They are such certified gossipers..

By the time you reach the office door you take a deep breath, this could either be your demise or your biggest accomplishment on the planet yet. There is no in between, only gratitude and pain. Raising a hand, you make a move to knock on the door. "Hello?". From within you could hear a voice call out in response, "come in!!" she yells out. 

Sounds like she's busy you guess. Might as well make this one quick.

Opening the door, you walked into the room to face the woman in front of you. She was pretty, sure, but she was mainly soft whenever she didn't need to be. It was unnecessary considering how unruly most of the kids in this school were. "Itoshi-san! there you are,." "yes, is there something you need from me ms?" it was better to get to the point rather than some small talk right?. "Right right, i've gotten a call from your parents and it seems like an emergency of some sort popped up. They want you home immediately."

An emergency?..Did the house burn down or something? But either way if this is an "emergency" then they must've already picked up Sae to go home. "thank you for having me ms, I'll go pack my bag now." You bowed your head a little before walking out the door. Making sure to close it behind you. 

What a pain..

First of all. What the fuck. 

There were some thoughts here and there as to what the so called emergency could be. With Sae tightly hanging on to you, basically squeezing the bloodstream out your hand in the process, there was no way to say that this wasn't reality. Your mother was pregnant, yes, it was very obvious from one glance. But to think that she would be having the baby TODAY? your own father was ready to pass out. 

The only thing that kept you grounded from running into that room was Sae. You weren't there for his birth now that you think about it, but what if someone bad happened? What if something happened to the baby? There have been some sorry instances that mothers made it but the baby didn't. If something happens to her, will your father really be able to take care of all three of you by himself? 

what happens if this turns out like your past life?

Everything feels like everything is spiralling down on you, and it takes common sense to realize that this isn't just a game, this is real. The life you are living right now is real, the people beside you are real, and so are you. This isn't just some fantasy you've had after death, this isn't paradise. Everything around you is living and breathing, and this might be your last shot at having a proper life. So no matter what happens you have to take care of your family. 

"nee-san."

A voice calls out to you. That's right. You have Sae, and he takes priority. You squeezed back his hand once again for the day. "I'm here, Sae." You assure him. "I know you are." he squeezes back with more force. 

"But does nee-san know that I'm here to?" This takes you by surprise and you can only turn to look at Sae with shock plastered on your face. "stop taking on everything yourself.." he mumbles. But you're still able to catch it. It feels nice to not be alone, you realize. Usually you would take on everything on your own and shoulder everyone, but even sometimes you need to take a break for yourself too.

"so..you DO know how to be kind?" you teased. "I was just comforting you, you rude bum!" "who taught you that?!" "YOU" "TO HELL I DIDN'T" "THEN TO HELL YOU GO"

From a distance your father watched with a small chuckle. "they never really change..do they?" he said shaking his head.

It was three hours before they sent a nurse into the waiting room to inform your family that your mother and baby were completely stable. They let your father into the room first before anything. It made you a little nervous now that you were really thinking about it, but to have siblings, and a real family above all else made you happy.

It was a while before the doctors let you and sae in but it was worth the wait. On your way to the room he made small talk with you. "How does it feel to be an older sister kid?" 

"It's a bit troublesome, but I think I can handle two of them." He then started to question Sae as well. "And how does it feel to have another boy in your family?" "lukewarm." 

The doctor sweatdropped in response. "alright.." You walked a bit more before arriving to the room your mother is in. "alright, we're here" he took the courtesey to open the door. Inside laid your mother in a hospital gown on the bed, and to behold, was something wrapped in cloth in her arms. 

Your father sat on the chair right to her bedside and waved you two over after watching the doctor leave. 

"the family seems to be complete huh?" he laughed out. 

  ITOSHI OMAKE

"why is it looking at me like that?" currently sae was looking at his newborn baby brother. "did I look like that okaasan?" 

Your mother let out a giggle at sae's cluelessness. "of course you did! you were the cutest baby!" she pulled on his cheeks a bit. "eugh..it looks weird."

"It's a bit odd how [name] never cried as a baby. Gave us a whole lot less work than expected." You sat on the bed directly next to your mother holding the baby. He didn't really open his eyes but you could tell it would be the trademark teal eyes. The eyelashes were already there anyways.

"Does he have a name yet?" you questioned. "Sadly no." your father sighed. "Your mother was out cold for a while so we're yet to name him anything." 

your mother hummed while playing with your hair, soon starting to braid it before someone spoke up. 

"Rin." 

all eyes turned to the second youngest Itoshi in question. "his name will be Rin." he said poking a finger at the baby. Rin looked at sae before holding onto his finger, a smile then broke out on both the Itoshi's faces. Your smile followed after. 

"alright then! its settled."

"welcome to the family little rin!" your mother announced. Laughter broke out into the room and you looked at your two younger brothers. "yeah..welcome rin."

#{-muxis writes #x reader #x y/n #headcanons #headcanon #oneshots #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock #sae itoshi #rin itoshi #itoshi siblings #itoshi brothers #itoshi reader #itoshi sae x reader #sae x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock sae #blue lock rin #blue lock x sibling reader #older sister reader #blue lock series

[beskarandblasters]

Fantasy Turned Reality

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x F!Reader

Part two for A Twisted Fantasy

Main Masterlist | Cooper Howard Masterlist

Summary: The Ghoul finds you in the woods and punishes you for not running far enough.

Word count: 831

Warnings: reader is able-bodied, uneven power dynamic, oral sex (M receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, irradiated creampie, spanking, pet names (sweetheart), praising, no use of y/n

You were so tired from all the running you did that you fell asleep in the same position; with your hand down your pants. But you didn’t even realize it until a stern voice shook you awake.

“Thought I told you to get the fuck away from here.”

You startle awake and lock eyes with the Ghoul, gulping as he cocks his head to the side, smirking at you menacingly. His eyes leave your face and trail down to the hand in your pants, chuckling as he asks, “What do we have here?”

“Nothing,” you quickly sputter, hastily trying to pull your hand away. But he stops you, his hand enclosing around your wrist.

“Not so fast. There’s three dangerous men after you and you’re worried about playing with yourself in the fuckin’ forest.”

Shamefully, you nod, looking away from him.

His other hand grabs your chin, directing your gaze back to him. “Eyes on me, sweetheart.”

A shiver runs down your spine and the wetness in your cunt grows. Your fantasy may finally be coming to life.

“What were you thinking about?”

“…You.”

“Figures,” he tuts. “I can help you out regarding your little… situation. But first I think you need to be punished.”

“For what?!”

“For not running far enough away, sweetheart.”

He lets go of you, sitting on a large rock a few feet away. His thighs are spread wide in an inviting stance, leaving you aching to sit on his lap. He palms the bulge in his pants.

You sit up, jaw going slack at the sight of him sitting there. Your mind still can’t comprehend that this is actually happening.

“You know what to do,” he says, motioning for you to come closer.

You scramble to your feet, walking over to him and dropping to your knees. You’re face to face with his bulge, salivating at the thought of taking him in your mouth. He reaches out and caresses your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

“Be a good girl for me.”

You nod and reach for the fly of his pants, letting his cock spring free. You take him in your mouth and wrap your hand around the base of his shaft. He curses under his breath, moving the hand on your face to the back of your neck. You look up at him, locking eyes with him as you bob your head up and down. His salty pre-cum leaks in your mouth, mixing with your saliva and making this blowjob wetter and sloppier by the second.

“Fuck, that mouth of yours, sweetheart. It’s perfect.”

You hum in response, sending a vibration down his cock and a shiver up his spine. He curses again and his grip on the back of your neck tightens. You feel him grow harder in your mouth and feel pride in how much you’re pleasing him. You know you can escalate it further so you take your other hand and reach for his balls, cupping them slightly as you work him to the edge. Your eyes remain locked with his, putting on a show for him like such a good girl.

His balls tense up in your hand and you sense he’s at the edge of orgasm. But before you can take him there he cups your face and pulls his cock out of your mouth.

“Wanna come inside that sweet pussy of yours,” he says.

You eagerly stand up, shedding your clothes and waiting for further instructions. He remains where he is and pats on his lap, telling you, “Take your throne, sweetheart.”

You straddle him on the rock and lower yourself onto his cock, feeling it expand your walks. One of his hands holds your waist while the other gravitates to your ass. He gives you a firm spank and says, “Better get to work,” coaxing you to rock your hips back and forth.

You grind yourself against him, placing your hands on his shoulders. His cock hits the deepest, most perfect angles inside you. And he watches with pleasure as you fuck yourself on his cock.

With one last movement of your hips you come undone around his cock, moaning out into the nighttime air. He spanks your ass again as you cum until the sensation draws his own orgasm from him.

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he praises.

His cum paints your walls and finishes his orgasm with a grunt until his cock eventually goes soft inside you. Reluctantly, you pull yourself off of him and sit beside him. He turns to look at you with a grin and says, “Don’t worry, you won’t get pregnant. But I bet you knew that already.”

You nod, still breathless from your high. He returns his cock to his pants and stands up. With a hand on his hip he says, “Now, don’t let me catch you around these parts again.”

And with that, he leaves you naked and alone in the forest, with his cum dripping down your thigh.

Fic notifs: @beskarandblastersfics

Dividers: @saradika-graphics

#the ghoul x reader #cooper howard x reader #the ghoul smut #the ghoul x f!reader #the ghoul fanfiction #cooper howard x f!reader #fallout #fallout fanfiction #cooper howard smut #cooper howard #the ghoul

[sunkissed-zegras]

more nika headcannons please☹️

AAAA YES NIKA !!!!

─ warnings | okay so this is kinda short, pls lmk if yall want more!!!!!!

i don’t feel like nika’s thing is pda, like the most she will do is like a kiss on the cheek MAYBE

but girl trust as soon as you guys are alone she is ALL over you, like she can’t keep her hands off

and nika is like a generally aggressive player and seems very like stand offish

but with her girl SHE WILL LITERALLY BEFOME A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON

she’s so soft and like babyyyyyyy idk how else to explain it

she just wants to be taken care of 🥹 like she acts all tough and stuff but in reality she’s just a SOFTIE

and honestly you’re so whipped for her, but nika is like.. DOWN down bad

she’s usually very level-headed but when it comes to you, it is all thrown out the window

and this in ALL aspects — like if you ever need anything, at any time of day, nika will be there for you and do anything you need

also, she loses her shit when anyone hurts you even slightly

you think paige is insane when it comes to their person, you have NOT seen nika

it’s a totally different level of protective

maybe even over protective at times

when it comes to weirdo strangers at parties, yeah she’s cussing them out!!! and she isn’t afraid to put her hands on them too if they get too close!!!

like paige, she will get mad at anyone who hurts your feelings because who the fuck are they to hurt her precious girlfriend??!?!?

oh don’t even get me started if she sees tears, it’s over for them

doesn’t matter if you tell her not to get involved, she will defend you with her life

and it doesn’t matter who either, she’s so fiercely loyal!

speaking of loyalty, she literally only has eyes for you

even before you’d started dating, she’s loyal and will not even think about people

it takes her a while to catch feelings so that means it takes a LOT for her to lose feelings, therefore you’re stuck with her for life

but who would mind she’s the BEST

oh my gosh her accent makes you feral (it makes everyone go feral who can blame em?)

and she uses that to her advantage FOR SUREEEEE

she makes you wear her jerseys to games ALWAYS!

like if you show up to a game without her number on you, she’s gonna be pissed

idk why i get the vibe she’s lowkey petty too😭

she would pick stupid fights with you just so and you’ll get really annoyed with her sometimes because it’s like

babe… is it really that serious?

but it’s never too serious so you guys make up by the end of day

but if it is serious, nika WILL take it seriously and do everything in her power to either make it right or talk to you

because she knows communication is KEY!

#wcbb x reader #wcbb #uconn women’s basketball #uconn #uconn huskies #uconn wbb #nika muhl x reader #nika muhl imagine #nika mühl #nika muhl #ncaa women’s basketball #women's college basketball #wnba basketball #ncaaw

[muxshwriting]

arsonist's lullabye

Kaz Brekker x reader

summary: when Kaz Brekker is poisoned by a hallucinogen, it’s not Jordie he sees, it’s you || warnings: poisoning, death, revenge, pekka rollins || word count: 698 || masterlist

Kaz could feel himself falling backwards but can’t stop it. He closes his eyes and lets the darkness consume him.

The warmth around him takes him by surprise and he opens his eyes to find himself on the floor of a merchants shop. You’re standing behind the counter. You, who used to be friends with Kaz before everything and grew up with him and Jordie. Even after everything happened, you kept in touch, always offering a helping hand when you could.

"What brings Kaz Brekker into my shop at this time of day?"

One last thing, you were also dead. You had died at sixteen when the Dime Lions had raided your store and taken everything you’d worked so hard to get. Kaz had been the one to find you that morning. He had sat opposite your body, unable to touch you but unable to look away. He had done everything he could to make sure you were buried nicely and left in peace for the rest of time.

You hadn’t deserved the hand you’d been dealt and to see you standing in front of him now was jarring, to say the least. The woman in front of him now wasn’t the sixteen year old that had died, you were the same age as Kaz, all grown up like you should’ve been.

"Kaz?"

Kaz took a breath. "You’re dead."

"Everyone dies at some point Kaz. I know I’m dead because I’m not actually here. This is all in your mind Kaz, so enjoy yourself."

"What?"

You lift yourself onto the counter. "Your mind showed you me for a reason, what are you searching for?"

Kaz stayed silent, pulling himself to his feet. It was then that he realised, he wasn’t wearing his gloves, his hands were bare.

"What do you want Brekker?"

"I want revenge." Kaz’s expression hardened. "I want Pekka Rollins dead, for me, for Jordie and for you."

"Kaz, he doesn’t even know who you are."

Kaz sneered, "He knows Kaz Brekker."

"And I’ve known you since before Kaz Brekker was even born." You say to him. "Don’t lecture me about the past."

"If you have all the answers, what are you here for?" Kaz angrily asked, getting more annoyed at your mirage.

"There are never many options in this world Kaz, especially in Ketterdam, you need to learn to use what you have."

"Stop speaking in riddles."

"We all have demons Kaz Brekker. You don't forget about them and they don't go away."

"What the fuck does that even mean?"

You laugh at his misery and confusion. "You need to wake the fuck up. You're living in the past, letting your ghosts dictate your future and letting yourself be led by them instead of by yourself."

"Says the ghost."

"I'm telling you to move on Kaz. Wake up and do something for you, not me or Jordie." Your voice was getting louder and louder, trying to get Kaz to listen to you.

"Do something for me!? I've only been doing things for me my whole life. If I didn't, I'd me dead. My hands are covered in blood I've spilt, for me!"

"Look at your hands Kaz Brekker."

He does look down at his ungloved hands. They're absolutely impeccable and spotless, if a little pale.

"If you are the infamous ‘Dirtyhands’, get your hands dirty Kaz Brekker. Get your hands fucking dirty!" You yell. "Stop being a coward and stand up."

Kaz snapped his eyes opened, pushing someone's hand away from him as he took his first real breath in minutes. The harsh reality of your words was starting to sink in, except they weren't really your words.

How was he supposed to move on the way you wanted him to? He had to make your death worth something, make your life worth something even more. How was he supposed to forget everything that had happened?

But you had also said that demons are always there. So he should use his demons however he wants because they're his demons. They do what he wants and the whole world is at his fingertips...

All you have is your fire and the place you need to reach.

taglist: @aoi-targaryen

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #shadow and bone #six of crows #muxshwriting #muxsh #arsonist's lullabye

[aloesarchives]

Head empty with no thoughts other than thinking about in my “Toji Lives” AU, Reader/you has only imagined a life with Toji and ONLY Toji. It’s to a point that you never seen a future without him or have one with anyone else that wasn’t him. Because if not, your life wouldn’t be like what it is now…which meant you wouldn’t have Megumi nor Tsumiki if you haven’t met Toji.

Anyway, someone randomly mentions how there’s a possibility that in an alternate universe/timeline you and Toji wouldn’t be in love, married, and have a family. Stabbing the knife in your heart even further by mentioning Toji might have another family with another woman with Megumi as their only child. Furthermore, not only isn’t Toji not your husband in another universe/time but he would have another life without you in it.

The thought of in another reality Toji isn’t with you, has another family which also means Megumi and Tsumiki are not your children…Fuck, it hurts you so much to think about such a concept.

What makes it worse is that reality IS POSSIBLE and CAN HAPPEN(referring to the canon timeline).

So now, you’ve become high-key depressed and heartbroken because you are now overthinking about the idea your little family isn’t yours. The more you imagine that prospect, the more your overthinking thoughts make your heart throb with pain as an icy chill washes over you. Numbing you to your current reality that THEY are your FAMILY in this universe/timeline. But your head was too focused and wrapped up that it’s slowly kills your happiness.

Literally everybody is worried about you because this is the most devastated they’ve seen you at all. Satoru and Suguru hunted down the idiot who thought it was a good idea to even say something or gave that idea to you. Everyone else is trying to cheer you up but you brush it and tell them not to worry, which makes them even more worried about you.

Tsumiki and Megumi were the most concerned because that’s their mama who’s so heartbroken and it hurts them to see you so down in the dumps like that. And knowing their mama, the only other person that could get to you that either of them is their one and only papa, Toji. So the kiddos tell Toji your heartbroken state and how worried they are even after trying to make you feel better.

Toji is literally the last resort hope. He goes and finds you, having a pre-occupied stare and looking extremely out of it. He doesn’t want to startle you so he comes up behind you with a gruff but soft “Hey Doll”. Placing his hands on your shoulder and back so you can face him. Rubbing them in a comforting manner.

“Hey, heard you weren’t feeling yourself today? You think you could tell me what’s got you so down?”

You don’t say anything, but the way your eyes start to water and your bottom lip trembling gave it away. Toji would have gently coaxed you on so he can understand what’s got you like this. Then suddenly, you wrapped your arms around Toji’s neck, pulling him into a tight hug. The man doesn’t questioned it and holds you tightly, knowing you need it because he can tell you weren’t ready to tell what’s wrong yet. For some time, Toji lets you hold him tightly because he knows it brings you comfort and eases your stress.

“Anata…Do you think in another life…We would still be together…?”

The way your voice tetered of uncertainty and softness, and that nickname used you for him… Now he has a general idea of what made you so heartbroken because “Anata” is a nickname only reserved for Toji when it’s only you and him alone and either both of you are vulnerable.

“I don’t know for certain, Hon. I’d hope so everytime…But I do know is in this lifetime, I will always find you and love ya to the end of my days. An’ remember, Tsumiki and Megumi are here with us too. Your family is here with you, (Y/N). We love you, don’t forget that, please…”

And that was enough to break the spell that held your mind captive. You ease up, calming down, pulling away slightly from your dear, loving, handsome husband. Looking at him so fondly and with much love.

Toji SMILES back at you, cupping your face gently with his callous hand. Using his thumb to softly wipe away the stray tear that fell from your pretty eyes. Leaning into his hand, holding it with both your own. You relish in Toji’s strong but gentle hold, his warmth always brought you great solace in ways no one else can.

Everyone sighs in relief, knowing you’re in a better mood and returning back to your regular self. Especially Megumi and Tsumiki, there’s something about seeing you genuinely smile and looking at their dad with such tenderness they know is only reserved for Toji and him alone that makes them smile to themselves and sigh in relief. The two of them walk up to you and Toji to which you opened your arms out to your children. Tsumiki and Megumi will never deny a hug from you so they go in and you hugged them both tightly against you, kissing their foreheads while saying loving affirmations to your children.

Toji smiles at his family before joining in on the hug, wrapping his huge muscular strong arms around you three. Basking in your husband and kids warmth, you didn’t know why you hyper-focused on the ‘what ifs’ of possible realities when this one you were living in, with your husband and kids, is YOUR current reality. So why fuss over the others when you have this one which is the one you wanted.

If there’s a possibility for them to not be your family in other realities, wouldn’t that mean there are possibilities where they’ll be your family too in other realities/timelines/universes too?

Bonus: Toji asks Satoru and Suguru if he can join them in ganging up on the person who did this to you. Man wasn’t letting anything slide if you were put into a distressed and/or heartbroken state.

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Tags w/ links:

@luqueam @ploylulla @tqd4455 @wolywolymoley @captainbabybear @ravenswife

Tags w/o links:

@szillx @SleppyAnn @g0th1xac1d @kneelarhmstrung

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I literally wrote this on my phone late at night because it was keeping me wide awake lol. Sorry for the sloppy rushed formatting!

#x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujustu kaisen x reader #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro tsumiki #toji fluff #toji fushiguro x reader #dad!toji x reader #wife!reader #mama!reader #jjk fluff #jjk toji #Toji Lives AU #fem reader #dad!toji #x fem!reader

[kel-lance]

Team Bonding: JJK students x reader x sukuna Part 3

- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more.

- Premise: Characters are (18+) (Reader is 21) Jujutsu College au where things are the same but they found yuuji/He ate the finger at 18/+ the start of college.

- Yuuji “came back” after two months of “being dead” and you’re in charge of the training for today for the kyoto sister event.

- Sukuna switches with yuuji in this and chaos ensues :/

After was the worst fucking thing in the world. As much as you wished you could have blacked out the reality of it, or at least the hour after but you were wide awake, laying there. Yuuji was the one knocked out, Sukuna had switched back to gave you some time to clean yourself up. (Slapping you awake, reminding you to stay awake bc of your head injuries.)

His deal was that Yuuji doesn’t find out, that whenever he came around, they would show him your homework, and if he wasn’t satisfied with it he would show them what he wanted to see. After what they witnessed, they really couldn’t let that happen again, bc they knew it would be worse if he were to touch you rather than them. 

Whenever he did want to get a rise out of you, he’d start eyeing Maki and Nobara, where you roar back to life and have more fight in you. You knew first hand how awful he was, you weren’t going to let him hurt more people. 

Yuuji, if he ever finds out, would probably off himself, and we know it’s not his fault so we can’t let that happen either. “You won’t know when I’ll be back, so do your best.” He was fucking sick.

Everyone decided to stay with you, in trios. At night you were with the girls as that didn’t raise suspicion from the RT’s. Sometimes though, the other pairs would volunteer and watch you in your room while you slept during the day, if you ever needed it.

Nobara helps you more often, and tries to help you ground yourself by holding your hand. Her thing now was to lightly apply pressure to the joints of your hands to ground you, until you leaned into her for a hug or pulled away, signaling what was going on in your head.

Maki would always keep a look out. “That was fucking horrific to watch.” She could remember how the Zenin clan were so gross with trying to sell her and her sister off. The older men would look but they didn’t want responsibility for them, let alone chance that they couldn’t chance their own being born without cursed energy. It was more of an insult to be presented Maki, as Mai does have some. 

Her own personal feelings weren’t really what was fueling it, the threat of and forced witnessing of mistreatment without being able to do anything… She’ll play his game but never let him touch you again. After speaking with Nobara, you asked to smoke to knock yourself out. 

Medicine is the best rn, your body’s healed, but your mental, it was sure something you couldn’t heal. It was a lot in the moment and you’d just want to revert back to your old ways of coping and you knew they’d understand, but they wouldn’t let you.

So just a hit or two, as much as you could hold in, until your lungs burned, that it spread up to your throat and seared your nostrils. It was a really dry cough, and you were a mess, your eyes tearing and spit was caught in your sleeve, and you tried to wipe your running nose too. These hits were the ones where you didn’t look, somehow that helped you take in more air. Maybe it was better concentration, in this case you just wanted to be unconscious. 

After they put the piece away, and asked if you wanted help in the bath. You could feel the tension as your confident, abrasive and loud self was unblinking, staring out to nothing. You had just gotten back to your rooms as Gojo came back a little bit too late, where he found you were sitting with a thousand yard stare. 

The others were so quiet, and Yuuji knocked out on the floor, he could only come to the conclusion, “Did I miss out on a really crazy fight or something?” No one responded. “Wow,” He places a hand behind his head, looking at the dim crowd. “Okay… Well, class is dismissed for today. Can someone help me bring Yuuji to Shoko? Megumi? Thanks.”

Megumi broke out of his shell shock and looked down at his friend. That look told Gojo something, but the Honored One wasn’t interested in his students’ relationships (when they’re all seemingly fresh into the drama). He’ll wait or bug it out of his somewhat son. Megs got Yuuji on his back, acting like his friend was more hurt than let on. You knew Megs was in a tough spot, and he was acting his BEST, in front of Gojo no less. He couldn’t lie unless it was jokingly, and even that was rare.  

________________________________________________________

Maki helps you stand in the shower, she’s in her underwear to help you make it more comfortable. She knew to keep testing out the water before realizing you were getting lost in your dizzy spur as Nobara comes in with her phone. 

“Nobara.” Your friend held you up and pulls you into her. “What are you doing?”

“It sounds heartless,” She started. “But I thought if we took pictures now, it’d give (y/n) more time away from Sukuna.” Maki’s hold on you loosened a bit, going back to grab at the loofa and pumping body soap onto it. Nobara continued. “I was going over our options and honestly, who knows what he’ll do next. I don’t even-“

Maki sighs loudly, asking her to stop talking. There was a pause, letting Maki think further into this. “It’s up to (y/n).” 

“It’s really not.” You thought. This whole situation wouldn’t be happening if you could even let it. “Nothing after this is going to be mine. Everything was given away in front of everyone, your entire being bare, your most vulnerable just out in daylight. You couldn’t even be glad it was just in front of your friends, what if strangers saw, or your professors, and what if they couldn’t help you too?

Maki held you and had you lean your weight on her. Nobara grit her teeth, she wanted to ask you what you wanted but obviously this was the best solution. It wasn’t to save herself, it wasn’t to save just you either. Everyone’s lives were at risk because of this horny demon.

But really, blackmail? That’s what it’s come to. That’s really the only thing that could get your people to turn on you. You thought they knew you better, that you’d rather choose to die than let the humiliation continue. Maybe it was because you missed your chance to voice your opinion, of your own body, of the situation you staggered in not so long ago.  

The shock though, the over exertion of using your reversed curse technique really was a challenge, You usually hold off the healing until after, showing off once again. The pain would make you feel alive, and let them know they were landing their punches and hits. You eye at the shower handle, to make the water temperature hotter. 

Burning, you wanted to feel clean. You wanted to have your skin melt off like a layer of wax. The places on the outside where he’s touched, honestly chop them off. You would rather have a meat cleaver cut them clean off than have any more blood pulsate under your violated skin. And the pit in your stomach, it wasn’t even a pit anymore you were sick, he left sick in you and it was spreading. Your head hurt, your vulva and the actual cylinder that makes up your core, you wanted to cut it out, or shove a hot metal rod inside to cauterize the wound, or to clean the area with fire.

Or maybe even you’d eat the rod, have it melt through your neck as you have a few seconds of searing bliss. But instead you’ll have to be okay with the hot water of the shower. Nobara notices your eyes and tells Maki that you’re cold, and to get started so they could help you to bed faster. 

The water that hit your chest was at a steady pressure, the temp rising an your skin started to blotch and turn pinker. Your body was tingling and the hot water was almost getting you to feel your body again. it was almost comforting but it just wasn’t engulfing you like you needed. You needed a feeling to wash this all away. And sure the weed was helping but at the same time, it was still so soon. 

“(Y/n), I’m going to start now okay?” Maki said behind you. Her left arm was keeping you up and letting you lean onto her leg, her right hand is on your right side, making its way down your waist and she lightly places her hand on your butt. You don’t really mind this, until her fingers came close to your entrance. Your legs lightly moved closing together. “Hey,” You look up at Nobara, who was recording. “Please (y/n), let us help you.” 

You lower your gaze, looking away defeated, you slightly open your knees, letting Maki in but not wanting to. Her finger made itself known around your core, before she tapped you twice to let you know that she was going in. Her finger plunged into you slowly, just in and out. Your body shook with the sudden movement. “Sorry.” You both say. 

She digs in deep again but keeps her finger in, it was really weird honestly. This was your friend? And your other was also “helping”? But they seem so disgusted. You didn’t like this. You wanted them to praise you, you wanted them to think you were awesome and the best and super cool. Why was this so awful? Why was this so awkward and cruel? 

They switch, Nobara is taking her fingers out of you and you can feel it come out, while maki takes her now wet clothes off and positions the camera to help clean up your face. Nobara’s holding you up in the shower, digging her fingers as deeply as she could, but as gently too to not hurt you, or make you more uncomfortable than you already are. Maki comes back in, placing her hands on your hips, moving your wet hair from the nape of your neck. 

They know you don’t like small talk, and they had nothing to say. There was nothing to joke about, nothing to bring up or gossip about, no silly joke or new grand idea to tackle in the future. For once you all were stunned into the present, facing something that they can’t control the progress of. Nobara lifts her head up to look at you; If you did look back at her, then there was something worth saving, something she knew would still be a part of you is just waiting there, for this to all go away, and she was right. If you hadn’t looked, you were worse than dead’ according to your old beliefs. 

Nobara finishes feeling around inside, cleaning out her friend’s cum from your hole. The hot water was enough to wash most of it away, the slimy feeling was just something you almost couldn’t bring yourself to just scoop out.  Maki’s lightly circling the loofa around your back, avoiding the bruised spots until she can help it. Her touch was so nice you thought, but this was getting too much for you. 

She had her fingers spreading you open while the bubbles from your shoulders come down and create a soapy sight. 

The shorter girls eyes looked at you with despair, her older classman who would do anything by themselves is needing two of their closest friends to wash them after an assault. She thought she would see one of y’all die before a man could lay their hands on either of you. She pulls her hand away, wiping the slime onto her leg to get washed off. She just wanted to get you out of this haze, and didn’t know what else to do but lean forward, and gently start to kiss you.

You don’t know if it was from guilt of not being able to help, and this was her way of healing, maybe she liked you for a while and this is her chance or her feelings are overflowing after seeing such an event, but either way, Nobara Kugisaki, your underclassman of a year was semi naked and wet, kissing you in the shower. 

Maki on the other hand, was trying to keep you both up. She noticed Nobara trying to soothe you since they had to invade your space, and she let her hand go back down. Using two fingers to search for any remains of Yuuji/Sukuna in you, she wipes away the last bits she found and let it run. She was about to stop when Nobara’s hand shot out and grabbed Maki. Her eyes told her to go back to what she was doing before, saying how you were gasping while kissing Nobi. 

She wants you to actually feel good, and have your last orgasm be less traumatic, so they were gong to help you with that before bed. They weren’t going to let your rapist be the last person to touch you, much less be the last person you think about. They’re here for you, and they were going to help you cum.

Maki’s long fingers graced the line on your back before tracing the sides of your hips. Your lips were still locked with Nobara’s your hands finding energy enough to cup at her face gingerly. You could feel her silently speaking to Maki and you didn’t care what was going on now. The weed was hitting, the steam from the shower was creating an even dizzier environment and your anxieties were washed away with the cum that stained you. 

Her steady pumping brought a blush to your face, not that your body was already red from the scorching hot water. You were honestly glad women were helping you as it would probably end u into a second panic if you were to have “woken up” in a scene like this. Her fingers were more than enough, and having to kiss your mutual friend altogether, semi to fully naked, all cramped up in this shower stall? The realization had you cum around maki’s fingers and groaning into Nobara’s mouth, they had to hold you up as your orgasm knocked out your knees from under you.

Maki wiggles her fingers, pressing on your sweet spot, drawing your orgasm to a crescendo as she soothes you by kissing the back of your neck. Nobi’s lightly kissing at your chest and collarbone, keeping u balanced and letting you ride out the feeling as long as they could keep it. As you shook in their arms, you panted out as the feeling started to fade, now being able to stand on your own. It’s been a few hours since you’ve found your head again, and it pained you to see your girls were crying. 

You con’t know if it was the whole time, but their eyes were red and pleading for your forgiveness. “I’m sorry.” They sob. “I’m so sorry.” 

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x you #x reader #dark jjk #tw #tw dark content #taaotjjk #taaottw #tw dark content jjk #maki zenin x reader #maki zenin #nobara kugisaki #jjk nobara #jujutsu kaisen nobara #nobamaki #jjk maki #maki x reader #maki x you #maki x nobara #nobara x reader #nobara x you #nobara x maki

[mysteriosuke]

actually it’s not okay to “warn” people of users who are ultimately just making content and not explicitly harassing people in the form of a completely public post. talk about it amongst your close friends or just block them instead.

whether you mean to or not, the result of this will be an influx of death threats among other things to the person you’re “just warning” about. especially when you have a large following of people who genuinely think it’s okay to harass others. even if you tell people not to harass them. it will happen. you’re not as mature as you think you are by calling a callout post a “warning post”.

the actual thing you should do, is block them, and move on with your life.

there are a lot of things i see on this site that disgust me to no end, but i am mature, and i block them. what’s your special little excuse?

and buddy, let me tell you. the warnings and death threats to people who aren’t actually hurting anyone… are NOT “protecting” as many people as you think they are. i would know. i speak from experience.

#renegade rambles #sick and tired of people labeling themselves as things so they can have this supposed moral superiority #in reality you need to fucking get a life #you’re not saving lives you’re just being pathetic. #go the fuck outside. get a better hobby. #renegade rants #fandom bullshit #fandom #fun fact this was about a user in the kirblr community #it’s insane watching this break containment

[notbecauseofvictories]

I never want to read about people having healthy, loving relationships in fiction. Not for any particularly noble or logical reason, I just hate it.

#I have to make friends in reality! I have to date and have emotionally honest conversations with my mother in reality! #I have to fucking self-actualize with my goddamn stupid self #IN FICTION I NEED YOU TO NEVER SPEAK OF YOUR EMOTIONS AND BLOW SOMETHING UP TO AVOID DEALING WITH THEM #have terribly ill-advised sex with someone who you feel complicated feelings for! and then #and this is key ABSOLUTELY DO NOT ADDRESS IT #no one ever gets therapy. everyone represses the hell out of everything they're feeling and then they die. #......maybe MAYBE you get a dramatic deathbed confessional but that's only if you've been viciously repressed enough to earn it. #anyway I need these characters to live the life I cannot because apparently I want to be ''fulfilled'' #and not ''viciously repressed and an unknown cipher to the people I love'' #......................................................I'm drunk and annoyed. #from the bookshelf

[dramarants]

Wanting more homoeroticism in the tension between the show’s leads as the narrative introduces greater intimacy and higher stakes between them, especially in a landscape that lacks queer representation who isn’t a villain or dies within one or two episodes, but also recognizing that core values/motivation for these characters lie in their relationships with one of two major female characters in an on screen sausage fest where the only other woman is a morally reprehensible femme fatale and erasing and/or vilifying female leads in favor of conventionally attractive males is a common practice observed in fandoms that’s rooted in misogyny and justified under the guise of rejecting heteronormativity, thinly veiled double standards, or claiming the woman is simply not interesting enough and not wanting to bolster that mindset

#the worst of evil #you know who’s not interesting enough? haeryeon!! bibi’s acting the hell out of her and slaying while doing it #but idk anything besides she’s willing to subvert her dad for dick and values money over everything else #and also she’s hot which is great for me!! but also the male gaze #and I also get it - we don’t know much about euijeong in her limited screen time besides her relationships to junmo/kicheol #but she is given so many traits that are silently conveyed like compassion and bravery and sacrifice #she brought a fucking gun to her date with kicheol like the conflicts and motivations here are SO JUICY #her exasperation guilt and despair with the investigation; esp after listening to the voicemails #what’s the self respecting thing to do; do I still love my husband if he loses himself; can I continue a game I never wanted to play #at the cost of my life or my family’s life? #even though a lot of her choices are for her marriage she’s using whatever agency she has in her own terms #kicheol works to be an honest man and make a difference partly bc of her #not trying to place the burden of fixing men on her but ignoring her impact in the boys’ lives is wild #ship whoever you want hate whoever you want but don’t deride a woman just cuz ‘she’s in the way’ ya know #all this being said; kicheol bringing junmo home after he RAMPAGED seemingly on his behalf - literally who else is doing it like them #the yearning all around - I get it now; we need gangster mob!throuple to get any shit done around here (and for all 3 to stay alive 🫣🙏) #but the reality next week is gonna be so so bitter

[zerodaryls]

i often find myself questioning reality and i'm thinking that maybe people shouldn't let their 8 year olds watch The Truman Show (1998) because it might actually create lasting psychological damage

#anyone else see The Truman Show as a kid and still catch themselves wondering if the entire world is a Set Up or nah?? 👀 #like i know it's a pretty narcissistic concept to believe the entire world revolves around you lmao but i mean. the paranoia sometimes... #i genuinely 100% blame that movie for this #like i actually think that if i'd never seen that movie then i would just dilly dally on my way through life #never questioning the very fabric of my existence #...i mean realizing that christianity was bullshit might've still ended up doing a number on me #but like. HELL what if watching that movie opened my brain up to be ABLE to consider that my concept of reality (in which YAHWEH is real) #was actually bullshit. and i needed that movie in order to be able to eventually break free from the bullshit. #who knows lmao #but dear god... the other day i was driving #and i noticed that most of the cars would like. ease off the brakes jUST BEFORE the light turned green. like they KNEW. #and logically i'm like. 'that is because they are watching the cross traffic slow down and anticipating their turn.' #but Truman Syndrome Brain was like 'THEY HAVE CUES. THE DIRECTOR IS TELLING THEM TO GET READY TO GO.' #which is dumb bc if i were running a large scale program and had actors driving around i'd just tell them to follow the basic traffic rules #but ya know. the 'Truman Syndrome' or 'Truman Show Delusion' is a legit thing. there's a Wikipedia article on it. lmao #that shit done fucked some of us up :| #unreality #unreality tw #my posts #ramblings #my life is not nearly interesting enough to warrant a tv show #...but then again neither was Truman's. which was the point.

[tiger-balm]

seeing comments under posts about players getting hurt and its like can I get some empathy can I PLEASE get some empathy

#jesus chirst some people need a reality check #a guy goes down bc his had smashed into the ice after a hit #and the comments are all “good clean hit nothing wrong with that he should have kept his head up” #like genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you #these are real people theyre not actors or animated characters getting a serious injury could literally ruin their life #i dont get it man #whatever #talking to myself

[benbamboozled]

“Shipping Batcest is harmful for real-life adopted families”

First of all, no, no it’s not. “Fictional people fans think should kiss” could not be more abstracted from real life. Get some fuckin perspective, mate.

Second of all, let’s be real here. You just don’t like it. It’s okay to just not like things, or to even be squicked by them. You don’t have to make up reasons why it’s actually bAaAaAaD. You can just go “it squicks me. Next!”

Thirdly, if your issue really is “I believe the very concept to be disrespectful to adopted families” there’s an easy fix for this.

The obvious solution?

Make them all blood related.

Boom. No more issues with “adopted vs. blood related family” anymore!

You’re welcome.

#clearly the only currently ethical Batcest ship is BruDami *nods sagely* #i don’t *need* people to ship Batcest. #it’s totally okay to NOT ship things! #i would just prefer it if people dropped the morality façade and were just open with the fact that they don’t like that people like things. #‘I think the way you play with your paper dolls on your own time is harmful in some vague way with literally no supportive evidence’ #fucking LISTEN TO YOURSELVES. #you could be sparking joy for others! #this also conveniently ignores that canon is CONSTANTLY bouncing around #what the batkids think of each other/how Bruce categorized them in his life. #like the entire EXISTENCE of Damian is based on the idea that a blood son is ‘more real’— #AND THAT IS CANON ITSELF. #so…do you renounce all Batcanon? cut ties to it entirely? if not—why not? #oh…so it turns out that it’s only ‘terrible and bad and disrespectful’ and blah blah if it’s done— #—​within a sphere wherein you believe yourself to have some amount of power! #you can’t ‘fiction = reality’ fandom while finding a million and one excuses for why ‘fiction != reality’ for motherfuckin CANON. #CANON—which has SO MUCH MORE reach and impact than goddamn…the niche hobby space that is fandom! #i will probably delete this because I try not to get this salty on main… #…unless it’s about Jim Starlin lol. #BUT THIS KINDA SHIT GETS MY BACK UP? #don’t pretend like having a squick is some moral stance with actual meaning besides ‘it ew to me.’

[hawnks]

one thing about this story is that im struggling to find the edge of how deeply fucked up a character can be before a reader starts to hate them

#the male lead is like….. DESPERATE for people to need him #his whole m.o. is to give people their deepest darkest desire #which he can do because he’s like rich and famous so he has the resources to do so #but that means he ends up enabling a bunch of really awful stuff #and doing things that are… morally dubious (at best) #right now one of his establishing chapters is about him meeting a woman at the airport on his way to where the book takes place #and she tells him about how /shes/ on her way to move in with her fiancé but she’s getting cold feet becuase she feels like she’s wasting #her life. so he’s like… well what would you be doing otherwise? let’s do it now. and she tells him that she’s always wanted to go swimming #even though she’s never done it before. she has a feeling that once she gets in the water she’ll just /know/. so they go to a hotel and #they go to the pool (it’s night so no one is there) and the woman hesitates at the deep end becuase thinking about it and being faced with #reality are two different things. and he. pushes her in. and he saves her but first he shoves her in #because that’s what she WANTED from him and he HAS to give people what they want otherwise who will care about him who will want him? #ahshdjdjdjkd he’s like….. very deeply fucked up #boat book