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hermannsthumb · 3 years

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Maria. *Grabs your face* MARIA. I would LOVE to see 15 bobbing for apples from the autumn fic meme written by you. Nothing would delight me more!

Anonymous asked: Halloween prompt #15 please!!... "Bobbing for apples but we meet accidentally underwater lady and the tramp style." OR "I thought we'd have fun bobbing for apples but you actually hate it and are really mad now"

15. Bobbing For Apples

from autumn fic prompts here

KATE ❤️__ ❤️for you id write anything... and anon the lady and the tramp scenario is so fucking funny/good

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It’s a really good thing that Hermann has Newt, because if Newt’s being honest, he has no damn clue what the poor dude would do without him. Work himself to death, probably. Or spend every Saturday night alone in his bunk. So depressing. Newt considers it his big charitable act of—well, of all time—to force Hermann into social functions, whether it's fun nights out at the bar (with Newt!), or down the hall a few feet for awesome movie marathons in Newt’s quarters (with Newt!), or something like tonight, which is a super awesome and fun Halloween party that, like, everyone on the base was invited to (including Newt!).

Hermann was all set to spend another night alone (probably changing the batteries in all his calculators or rearranging the hangers in his closet) when Newt dragged him out, more or less by the collar of his argyle sweater, with multiple threats to make his life a living hell the following week in the lab if he didn't comply immediately. "Seriously, dude," Newt had said, ominously, while Hermann looked at him like a furious cat ready to take a swipe, "you're gonna put in those vampire fangs and get drunk with me, or you're gonna regret it. I mean it." Newt was not opposed to blasting the shittiest depths of his Spotify account over his bluetooth speakers or using Hermann's favorite coffee mug to hold his dissection tools. Luckily for both of them, Hermann decided the risk wasn't worth it.

Newt knows Hermann is bound to recognize how selfless Newt is being and thank him for it eventually. Probably. Maybe a few years from now. For now, Newt is enjoying the warm and fuzzy feeling of having done a good deed, and also of drinking a considerable amount of spiked punch.

Hermann is not enjoying either.

"I did, in fact, have plans for tonight," he tells Newt, sipping his ginger ale and observing Newt with a fierce scowl. He flat-out refused the booze Newt tried to push on him. It's fine, whatever—it's enough for Newt, right now anyway, that he actually came. They'll work up to bigger stuff like that later.

"Like what?" Newt says. "Doing a crossword puzzle and watching the second half of that boring-ass documentary you put on last weekend?"

Newt considers it an affront to the very concept of movie nights that Hermann used his pick on a documentary, and one about the jaeger program that didn't even bother interviewing him, no less. Newt loves a good documentary, don't get him wrong, but movie nights are for escapist shit. You don't see him switching on Godzilla. Plus, having to watch stock footage of Dr. Gottlieb Sr. blabbing his mouth about how smart he was while you were debating making a move on his son (who was currently in you bed, looking super cute in your sweatpants, because he'd forgotten to pack pj's) was kind of a mood-killer. "It wasn't boring," Hermann sniffs, which tells Newt that his guess was dead-on. "It was...interesting. And anyway, just because they aren't your idea of plans..."

"Okay, whatever," Newt says. "Let's just have fun. That's the point of a party."

He throws an arm around Hermann's shoulder and drags him closer, until their heads knock together painfully. He hears Hermann growl low in his throat. Newt doesn't say, soon, we won't have the time to do stupid shit like this anymore, so we should enjoy it while we can, even though he wants to. It's better to not make fun stuff depressing. Plus, Hermann might decide to take that as an invitation to bail and put on his documentary. Instead he reaches up across Hermann and flicks his chin. Hermann's whole body stiffens. "I can't believe I got you into this super awesome party and you're not even pretending to be thankful," Newt says.

With no great deal of difficulty, Hermann pushes Newt off of him. Newt lands heavily back in his chair, making the whole thing wobble, and he laughs as he just manages to catch himself from falling off the other side. "You got me in?" Hermann says. "Newton, I was invited three weeks ago."

Newt stops laughing. "You were?"

"Yes," Hermann says. The corner of his lip twitches up, with a smugness so powerful Newt can feel it radiating off of him in waves. Bastard. "I took it upon myself to ask if you might be permitted to come, too." He adds, sarcastically, "Out of the kindness of my heart. I know how terribly put out you get when you aren't included in these sorts of things."

Newt considers this new information, and then discards it, because it really doesn't fit the image of himself he's been cultivating as the cool, hip friend to Hermann's uncool, unhip nerd. Like, come on, between the two of them, Newt is obviously the one you'd want at your party. Hermann's gotta be kidding. Probably. Maybe. "It's a lame party anyway," Newt mumbles.

He tries to put his arm around Hermann's shoulder again, remembers that Hermann really didn't like that the first time, and then drops it back down at his side instead. "Totally lame," he continues. Newt recalls the Halloween parties of his youth with a warm, fond glow: elaborate costumes, tacky decorations, passing around bowls of peeled grapes in the dark, carving jack-o-lanterns while his dad hovered protectively over him to make sure he didn't take a finger off with the knife. This is none of that. Barely anyone even dressed up! The lack of Halloween spirit is tragic. "There aren't even any party games."

"Yes there are," Hermann says, mildly.

He points across the room at a large metal tub that Newt somehow missed before. It looks like it's filled with water, and...

"Dude," Newt says.

He doesn't wait to ask before he's hopping to his feet and dragging Hermann along after him by his blazer cuff. Hermann swats at his heels a few times with his cane, but eventually—like he does with most of Newt's ideas—gives in. "I'm a fuckin' champ at bobbing for apples," Newt boasts. "I used to—oops, excuse me," (he runs into two guys who are, like, twice his height, upsetting their drinks, and he hears Hermann groan as something purple spills on his sweater), "I used to always win it at the fall fest when my dad would take me." And then when he went back as an adult by himself, but it was less impressive a win when you were up against a bunch of ten-year-olds.

"You do have an exceptionally large mouth," Hermann says, rubbing at his stained shoulder. "I suppose that helps." As Newt bends to investigate the iron tub, he says, "Oh, Newton, don't, it's been out all night. Who knows what sorts of germs are in there?"

Newt gets to his knees and rolls up the sleeves of his PPDC-issued labcoat. He's a mad scientist to Hermann's vampire (vampire librarian?) tonight. Yeah, it's kind of a lazy costume, but it was free—he already had everything he needed in the lab. "I can get it in five seconds, max," he declares. His record is one second, but he's the first to admit he's a little rusty, and he'd rather impress Hermann by beating his estimate. "Will you hold my headlamp?"

Grumbling, Hermann takes it. Newt sets his glasses on the ground. "You're going to get yourself bloody soaking," Hermann says, and then he complains about something else, too, but Newt is screwing his eyes shut and ducking his head into the tub, which makes it difficult to hear him. One second—two seconds—two and a half—Newt emerges victorious from the tub, teeth clenched down firmly on an apple, and accidentally splatters a large amount of water on Hermann's shoes. He pulls the apple out of his mouth with a grin and waves it at Hermann. "See. I'm a fucking pro."

He tucks his glasses back on his face to discover that Hermann is staring at him with a very strange expression on his face. Newt can't decide if it's the blacklight bulbs overhead that are washing him out and making him look so flushed, or something else entirely. Then, in a second, he's grumpy and scowling and tsking over his wet shoes. "A pro," he echoes. "Hardly. It can't be that complicated."

Newt gestures grandly at the tub and takes a bite out of his apple. Hermann can always be relied upon to never turn down a challenge, especially when it means making Newt look—potentially—stupid. Newt uses it to his advantage often. Whatever it takes to help the guy have a good time. "It's all yours, dude."

Hermann grumbles something again about Newt being too arrogant for his own good, and something else about showing Newt how to do it without making a mess of everything, then gets down to his knees with a quiet hiss of discomfort. He shoves his cane, and Newt's headlamp, at Newt, though bewilderingly leaves his blazer on. "I'll be just a moment," he says, and dunks his head into the tub.

He splashes back up no more than five seconds later. Apple-less. "Bugger," he coughs, and then coughs some more. The entire front of his sweater is soaked. "I didn't—I didn't start out right. Let me—"

Newt watches Hermann try to drown himself a few more times in mild interest before he finally intercedes. "Need a hand?" he says, getting to his knees next to Hermann.

"No," Hermann splutters.

Newt takes his glasses off again. "Yeah, you do. Okay, now watch me—"

He emerges with another apple in seconds.

Hermann grits his teeth. "Newton—"

"One more?" Newt says, his grin widening.

Back under. Another apple. He winks at Hermann when he goes in for a fourth time, and this time, he feels the water of the tank being upset as Hermann (refusing to be outdone once again) splashes in alongside him. God, Newt loves riling Hermann up like this—he gets so funny, and kinda cute, when he's mad about something. Red in the face, and scowling, and sometimes (when he's real mad) speaking in a dangerously low and rough sort of voice with his r's rolling that makes Newt shiver, just a little. Like, Newton, you worthless, pathetic little man, cease this immediately, or else I'll... He actually said that to Newt once. It made Newt feel a little warm under his collar. Hermann's probably going to say something similar to him this time, and Newt can't wait.

Ten seconds in. Newt has been cutting Hermann a little slack at first, just to see if he can catch up, but finally decides to just go for the apple that's been bobbing steadily against his mouth this whole time. (He loves beating Hermann at stuff.)

And, well, apparently Hermann goes for it too.

They both miss the apple. Newt's mouth is up against Hermann's for another five seconds before he realizes what's happening (that that is definitely not an apple, that that is definitely a mouth, that that mouth is wide and weird another to belong to only one person Newt knows, that that mouth is parting in surprise, oh my God) and then he pulls away so quickly that he breathes in what feels like half the tub of water. He falls back on his ass, coughing furiously, and it's not until he shoves his glasses back on with a shaking hand that he realizes that Hermann has done the same. "I," Hermann says. His eyes are wide. "I'm sor—"

"It's fine," Newt squeaks.

"It was—"

"I know!"

Newt and Hermann's mouths were touching for five whole seconds. Underwater, while apples bobbed against their foreheads, but their mouths still touched. Oh my God. In elementary school, Newt thinks dizzily, that would be enough to catch cooties. This was so not how he wanted his awesome eventual seduction of Hermann to go down. For one thing, it wasn't even a seduction.

"I'm gonna get a towel," Newt says.

Hermann nods. He looks strangely adorable with water droplets on his nose and his hair plastered to his head like that. Newt has to get out of here before he does something stupid, like take Hermann's pointy cheeks between his hands and put their mouths together on purpose. He doesn't think Hermann would respond to that very well right now.

"I'll get you one too," Newt says, and it takes a lot of effort to force himself to his feet.

Hermann nods again.

"Okay," Newt says, and stumbles away. Out of the corner of his eye, he just catches Hermann raising a hand to his mouth.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #hermann's pov in that one bit was just 'mouth............'

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cordonianqueenie · 4 years

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My LoveLink Matches Ranked (so far!)

1. Stefan Silver

I know, I know. And as previously stated this makes me feel very basic but the heart wants what the heart wants. And the heart apparently wants a pixilated man with severe family trauma and an inability to trust people who gave me the hands down hottest date that lasted ALL NIGHT 🔥.

2. Austin Russo

So damn sweet. He takes time to warm up to you but when he does he is the loveliest. Also this storyline brings the Drama which I love. Only downfall is the lack of a proper date. I wanna wistfully lock eyes with my man through the bulletproof glass as we talk through those little phone things. 😆 🤣

3. William Crome

I never thought that single handedly tearing apart a pack of vampires to protect our love and then delaying our date so he could dispose of the bodies and clean up was what did it for me but it seems it is. I was initially worried we were getting Twilight vibes but no definitely more of a All Souls Trilogy vibe going on. And you know that picture where he's wearing the shirt with the lace up front and giving a little half smile? Love.It.

4. Albert Bishop

Albert is really nice, maybe too nice? I like him best when he's being flirty. I think the only thing holding him back on this list is my personal awful experience if military guys. Sorry Albert 😘.

5. Jamie Grant

Cute hacker who said he loves how I get flirty in dangerous situation. Which is good because its literally my only move. Hes a bit a a dummy for not realising who OZO was cos I felt it was pretty obvious but I will let him get away with it cos I do have a weakness for computer nerds.

6 Daniel Anderson

Love the slow build zombie storyline. Love that he names his lab rats after famous scientists. Love the hot chat about wearing labcoats and nothing underneath. I'm sad that when we went on our date I didnt want to spend any gems so I let him down with a rubbish date about cooking eggs. And he sent me this picture when our relationship status went up and I kinda wish my 'never leaves the lab' virologist didn't have quite just chiselled abs.

7. Jaden Bower

When he abandoned me in a pool after forgetting to mention we were breaking and entering i went for all the negative interaction options. I got so angry with him and like I still think the sad little rich boy who turns to petty crime is not the most attractive thing but he won me over with his passion for engineering and whats turning into a pretty interesting storyline. So definitely midtable.

8. Capt. Muffin

Also midtable because we haven't got very far into the story but I do like the idea of the guy with social anxiety so bad that he talks to his matches through his cat rather than just be himself until he feels comfortable with them. That is just all kinds of adorable.

9. Dominic Wright

He's super cute but his story is so dry and dull. Like dude crazy ex girlfriend? That's what we are going with here? Are you aware that other people on this app are fighting for their lives on death row or turning me into a vampire? Step your game up!!

10. Hugo Hornsby

Oh Hugo. I feel like they wanted it both ways. They wanted you to be a nice guy but they also wanted a forbidden love element. The result is just really messy where you come across as weak and ineffectual but also a guy willingly carry on an emotional affair behind the back of your fiancée of seven years. Pick a lane you can't be the nice guy and be creeping.

11. Rafael Becker

Rafael was actually my first match and I really got into the sci-fi cultist village stuff but it just started to fall a little flat for me after a while and I lost the romance. And the dream date was just too weird.

12. Noah Cruz

Cute dog really not much else of note in this story so far for me. I feel like we might be getting into it now I'm in Alaska but yet to be seen. Also not choosing diamond options turned me into this weak willed loser who couldn't commit to boarding a plane. Which pissed me right off.

13. Zayn Kassab

OK so this is going to make me sound awful but he is just way too nice. I literally walked off his set after agreeing to be the tree spirit and he didn't even get mad about it. So I frequently find myself forgetting about him.

14. Sam Knight

Too young and I feel like he's coming across as a bit of a narcissist and I'm really not here for that.

So that's my list. Sorry I've only been matching with guys so Ive got no opinions on the girl matches.

#Lovelink

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grelleswife · 5 years

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Wink or help for grell othello. It doesn't need to be ship, I like to see them interact. 😊

Hi, nonny! I hope you don’t mind if I went ahead and made it shippy-- these two are so cute together that I just couldn’t resist. I’ve included the AO3 link below in addition to the full text. Hope you enjoy!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20004703

Grelle sipped contentedly at her coffee, enjoying the Saturday morning sunshine that flooded through the windows of her first-floor apartment. She was clad in nothing but a scarlet bathrobe with fur trim at the sleeves (she preferred to sleep au naturel, usually throwing on the robe once she got out of bed), and her hair was still tousled from last night’s slumber.

She gave a start when she heard an unexpected knock at the door. Was she imagining things? No, there it was again, a light rat-tat-tat. Who could be calling on her during the weekend? She felt a twinge of anxiety. If one of those dweebs from management had slunk over to disrupt her Saturday with another request to work overtime, she’d give them an earful, and then some!

“COMING!” she called, shoving her feet into fuzzy red slippers and hurrying to the door. Upon opening it, she was pleasantly surprised to see none other than her little Othello standing at the threshold, wearing a nondescript white shirt and black trousers in place of his usual labcoat. His mouth dropped open when he took in Grelle’s attire, and she observed with a surge of pride that his face turned bright red. Good to know that she wasn’t completely frightful without makeup. “Is this a bad time? I-I can come back later…” he squeaked, but Grelle bent down and bestowed two kisses, one on each cheek, which only made him blush all the more.

“Do come in, darling,” she cooed, ushering him inside. “Besides,” she drawled, winking and allowing the robe to slip off her right shoulder, revealing more of her chest, “we know each other verrrry well by now, hmm?” To the dispatch’s shock (and William’s immense relief), Grelle and Othello had started dating not too long ago, and the red reaper had been thrilled to death when Othello proved himself to be quite the naughty little thing in bed. Othello scuffed the floor and rubbed the back of his head, though he couldn’t hide the boyish grin that she found so endearing. “I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

“Oh?”

“Um…This tree limb fell in my back yard during last night’s storm, and I…I don’t think I’m strong enough to move it myself.” He bashfully looked down, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Grelle laughed, though not unkindly. “And so you need the help of your doughty lover to move the pesky thing?”

“Well, I normally don’t lift stuff much heavier than a pipette. You’re the one who runs around fighting demons and swinging that ridiculous death scythe of yours.”

“Says the nerd who kept his uncool training version!” she huffed. “But I shan’t leave my man hanging. Just give me a minute to put on my face.”

“You already have a face,” Othello countered, crossing his arms. “And it suits me just fine as is.”

“You know what I mean, ‘thello! A lady should never appear in public without her makeup; she’d be hideous. What would people think?”

“But the tree doesn’t care!” Othello protested, rolling his eyes.

“It’ll just take a minute, darling.”

Othello’s eyebrows arched upwards in disbelief.

“Two minutes.”

His eyebrows ascended still further.

“I’ll hurry, I promise.”

“You always say that,” he scoffed, though there was a twinkle in his eye.

About an hour later (applying a full face of makeup and preparing her hair did tend to be time-consuming), Grelle finally set out with Othello to tackle the tree limb. He hadn’t been exaggerating. The branch was massive, far too heavy for the diminutive scientist to grapple with. After about five minutes of straining, sweating (ugh! How unladylike), and profuse swearing, she hoisted it over the fence. She broke out in a broad, sharp-toothed grin as it landed with a supremely satisfying thud.

“Damn, that was amazing!” Othello cheered with an enthusiasm he’d normally reserve for an exciting dissection or successful experiment. “You’re so strong!”

Grelle was often self-conscious about her upper arms and shoulders. In her eyes, they were too brawny and muscular, not delicate and feminine like they ought to have been. However, seeing Othello’s open admiration helped her feel a little more comfortable in her skin.

“You’re a dear, ‘thello,” she smiled. Seized by a playful impulse, she added, “Care to see just how strong a lady can be?”

“Wha—”

Before Othello had time to complete his sentence, she scooped him up and threw him over her back, slinging the scientist’s legs over her shoulders.

“Woah!” Othello laughed breathlessly, gripping her hair for support. Giggling, Grelle leapt across the yard, carrying her nerd with ease. We both lift each other up, she thought as she ran through the grass. In Grelle’s experience, men came and went like the tide, but she was starting to think that Othello was a keeper.

#thanks for the ask!#fic prompts #my fic #my writing #othello #grelle sutcliff #grellthello #the lady and the geek

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smollandtoll · 6 years

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HC: Science TA Geno History Student Sid

The second these photos came out we were like IT’S TIME. So HERE. WE. GO:

Imagine a universe in which Sid and Geno are separated by a few more years but not enough for it to be weird and Sid is a history major/gym addict (we just can’t picture him without the lower body) who has put off his science requirements for his degree until the very last possible time to do them. So there he is, 21/22 with a bunch of 18y/o freshmen in first year chem, looking mildly confused three times a week in lecture with his biceps threatening to burst through his intramural hockey tees, carefully seated 2/3 of the way up the lecture hall for maximum anonymity.

Sid does not like science very much. At least, not advanced science; he has no need for it beyond understanding the theory and the basics. He has no burning need to know the world’s innermost workings, and he thinks stoichiometry should go die in a fire.

But he’s also not going to let his GPA suffer because of this stupid class. He has a hard time focusing because he has so many other MORE IMPORTANT things he could be doing with his time so he gets lost easily and feels like he’s floundering and it’s ridiculous and embarrassing.

So, like a good and diligent student he goes to the TA office hours with his last quiz, bracing himself for an hour with some bored grad-school chem major to try and get a handle on the last module before it’s too far into the semester to catch up, and immediately has to squint at the name Evgeni Malkin on the door. He’s not even sure how to pronounce that. Eff-Jenny? Eve Genie? Veg-inni? He knows enough to parse out that it’s Russian and he immediately flashes to a nerdy Russian stereotype playing chess in his office behind thick glasses and a really tragic knit sweater. Sid is prepared to have the WORST time with a hardcore nerd who probably thinks a BA jock like Sid shouldn’t even be in his class - LET ALONE the fact Sid doesn’t want to be there and doesn’t get it and really doesn’t care.

Geno doesn’t make much better of a first impression. BUT to be fair:

The smell in his shared office is vinegary from the eco-friendly cleaning solution that he used to clean up an unfortunate sour cream incident in his small ancient TA office microwave. And it’s also a little like BO because...well because he smells like BO because he hasn’t been home for more than 20 minutes in weeks working on a breakthrough in his thesis. And let’s be fair, all the tiny shitty basements TAs get shoved into smell a little funky. He can’t be blamed!

Re: the point of hasn’t been home in weeks, his clothes are thoroughly dirty, we’re talking food stains, ink stains, lab stains of who knows what that soaked through his labcoat and smeared on his shirt cuffs. Also the clothes he’s wearing are his warmest and most comfortable. Oversized university sweatshirt (he’s so cold always), beanie (covering up greasy hair), his glasses because he hasn’t had time to order new contacts, extra cardigan over the back of his chair for when it gets particularly drafty after dark.

There are a LOT of mugs, and cups, and takeout containers where there aren’t stacks of papers upon papers upon textbooks. Listen, office hours are boring and any time he can get for his thesis is welcome. Cleaning isn’t high on his list of things to do currently.

So anyway, imagine Geno highly sleep deprived (who needs sleep when you have CHEMISTRY), and probably lacking a nutritionally balanced meal and hopped up on caffeine looking up at the knock to his door and seeing the most beautiful man possibly EVER standing in the doorway. He looks wary and faintly disgusted, but he also looks like he smells good, and his hair is a little damp, like he’d just come from the gym or something.

Geno legitimately thinks he's starting to hallucinate beautiful men. But then Sid opens his mouth and Geno recoils because no cute angels actually sound like that, so he must be a student.

And then Sid's asking about his quiz and he's so DETERMINED AND BRIGHT but clearly hating chem and just trying to like STRONG-ARM IT INTO OBEYING HIM. And you know what, this Geno legitimately loves chemistry; the way it underpins all of nature and all of biology, the way you can add one thing to another and get something totally surprising seemingly out of nowhere, the way equations balance out so beautifully when you get them right - the way it’s a whole language that makes perfect and total sense, unlike the confusing jumble of English he’s been putting up with since he moved here for school. He DOES want to help students learn to understand it - to love it like he does, ideally.

Geno probably pulls the test closer for a look and faintly remembers Sid seeing him up close. In class he’d never looked like much, usually wearing a ball cap that kept his beautiful face in shadow and from 40ft away in an auditorium he looked like every other university freshman, not this stacked slice of yum (on second thought, judging by the quality of his internal monologue, Geno is starting to think maybe he really does need to get some sleep).

Looking at the quiz is a little painful in some places though. Geno points out that Sid’s not dumb, but he’s careless with his work.

"This inattentiveness kill you in lab."

"I don't like science, I don't particularly want to be here, but I need this requirement and I'm not going to fly by with a C and let it tank my GPA. SO. we're going over every single one of these quiz questions."

"...You got most right though."

"Still, I could hear a repeat of the concepts, cramming doesn’t help anyone.”

So Sid sits gingerly in the moth-eaten chair in the cramped office while Geno (greasy, owlish with lack of sleep, a little too enthusiastic) tries to impress upon him the BEAUTY of Chemistry and Sid tries to dedicate himself to remembering anything at all while his brain keeps reflexively blanking out every time Geno mentions equilibriums. He’s doing better one on one, but he knew that, he always did better with a focused point for his attention.

Anyway so Sid walks out thinking the TA is like kind of a Russian Science Gremlin Nerd who chats on forums and has never eaten anything other than cheetos (judging by the contents of the wastebasket by the door). And Geno watches the door close probably thinking someone who wears as much athleisure wear and is as jacked as Sid, not to mention was only 70% successful in hiding his general disdain for THE GLORY OF STOICH, is kind of a meathead.

But Sid learned some things and Geno’s a patient if slightly judgy teacher, and Geno knows not everyone can truly understand his love of chem, so they both come out with not...100% accurate impressions of each other, but with a kind of alliance? An understanding? The usual academic relationship you might have with a TA. They're both students, the difference being one gives a shit about the topic and grades the other one’s work. Sid checks in a couple more times with questions and Geno clears up some desk space to help out if he can.

SO THEN. The semester ends, Sid passes chem, Geno gives him a high five when he hands back his final exam, which has a sticker of a cat with pom-poms saying PURR-FECT on it. Geno loves weird animal stickers (Geno is the weirdest person Sid has ever met maybe).

The next time Geno sees Sid is in the library of all places. Geno would have never thought Sid would be caught dead in a uni library. Like that doesn’t actually make sense the more he thinks about it, but it’s true, he thought maybe Sid’s intensity about his GPA was sport-team related. But here he is stationed at a carrel that is just covered in organized stacks of books, meticulous notes, colour coded even! Sid is hyper-focused on what he’s doing, flipping through a book with one hand and jotting down notes with the other.

Geno: Oh shit I'm getting a competence boner, SID IS REALLY SMART OH NO, HE’S SO ORGANIZED AND DEDICATED. LOOK AT ALL THE TABS IN THAT TEXTBOOK.

He’s beautiful and brilliant RIP G. So then Geno kind of low-key follows Sid's academic career - sees/stalks/stares in the library if he has occasion to be there (SID IS THERE SO OFTEN OH NO), immediately ducking between a couple of shelves whenever Sid looks up or stretches. He finds too many reasons to hang out in the Russian history section, probably bothering Ovi who is actually taking history courses and has a reason to be there and actually knows Sid, much to his disgust with Zhenya when he finds out what’s happening (why not a good Russian history undergrad Zhenya??). Geno has studying to do too! The library is an ideal place to study! What’s that you say, the whole catalogue is even easier to navigate digitally? Shush, you.

The next time Sid sees Geno after the semester ends is in the biggest campus gym. One time he was running on the track for a cool-down and saw Geno swimming in the lane pool below through the windows.

Initially Sid was like "good for him, he doesn't go outside enough, lil russian potted plant/cheeto gremlin."

And then Geno grabs hold of the side of the pool and lifts himself out and Sid almost runs off the track, stumbling hard. Geno doesn't have the soft and furry pale body that Sid was expecting - he's all clean angles with an even tan and the shoulder-to-waist ratio OF A DORITO. He looks insanely long and lean, just legs for days. Sid tries to recollect if he’d ever seen Geno standing before and honestly can’t remember. But watching him wiping the water out of his eyes and walk over to joke and laugh with the lifeguard on her stand, he has to be over six feet, EASILY. He just looked so small hunched in his little office in his sweaters! His face is so angular without the glasses!

So then Sid kind of gets just as creepy as G is in the library and figures out when Geno frequents the gym and starts attending at the same time to creep. The track is raised! It overlooks the pool and he’s a frequent runner! It goes on like that for some time, some mutual creeping in the way you do when you’re on a campus with 20,000 (or w/e) people and you see a familiar face but it would be weird to say hi and so you just keep going about your day/occasionally creeping as one does.

It all comes to a head fortunately one Friday night in late January. Sid gets knocked on his ass yet again at the campus pub one night when he finds out that G doesn't always dress like a soviet grandpa or a mostly-nude glistening adonis. He’s all legs a mile long in jeans laughing with his Russian TA bros, gold chains and a bright graphic tee. He looks so at ease in his clothing the way that Sid never does, because Sid is so sold, blocky, muscular - he always looks like he's 5 seconds from hulking out in his clothing or like he's swimming in his dad's suit, there's no medium. The best he can usually manage is looking like he works in a sporting goods store with an unflattering polo shirt and some track pants. And here’s Geno all handsome and tall and easy confidence with his friends, and Sid KNOWS he’s brilliant too, like this is a disaster.

Meanwhile Geno is IN LOVE with how Sid always looks like he’s going to bust out of whatever he’s wearing but this is just because Sid is still young and hasn't grown into his face/lost some childhood fat and like learned how sleek he can look in well-tailored clothing.

(Brief moment of silent thanks for his current tailor)

G probably sees Sid at the bar as well, looking flushed pink from his drink and giggling atrociously/attractively with his friends. His lips are bright pink and the flush looks so good on those cheekbones and someone’s obviously convinced him to ditch the athleisure and dress like a normal guy for the night. And if Sid is old enough to get into the bar that's not creepy right? They're no longer teacher/student and Sid looks so so so pretty. Geno might be a little drunk and narrating all of this to a very unimpressed Gonch.

(Gonch is a PHD student who is like taking 800 years to do his work because like he's also working a day job because he has a wife and kids)

There are some glances back and forth for a bit, and eventually they can both tell the other is looking looking. Geno is just tipsy enough he plucks up the courage to go over to Sid. And Sid, seeing him approaching, catching his eye, distances himself from his history nerd friends (WE’RE LOOKING AT YOU JACK JOHNSON).

So they meet up in a little nook along the bar, and exchange smiles/greetings (Sid looking up, up, up at him and feeling his flush getting DEEPER). And then the awkwardness sets in HARD. The problem being it's kind of loud in the bar, because they always are, and Sid has trouble with accents most of the time and so does Geno, plus they've both had a few beers.

They end up 100% not understanding anything the other is saying and doing that weird smile-and-nod but not-knowing-what-to-say thing that keeps your convos stilted and awkward with a few “SORRY?”s thrown in for good measure.

They’re still both a little blushy and a little mortified about not understanding. Geno feels like he understood more the first day he came to America he's like "How have I regressed to literally zero English. I don’t remember ANY ENGLISH WORDS."

Meanwhile Sid has realized they can’t really understand each other and the beer has loosened his lips enough that he’s taking advantage of the situation and blurting a lot of awkward stuff he’s way too embarrassed to actually say.

Unfortunately there’s one of those LULLS in the bar where everyone stops talking and the music is between songs and Sid just yells "I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE HOT AT FIRST."

Cue an few cackles from the wings and Sid’s instant mortification. Geno’s face is doing something between fighting a smirk of amusement and being confused/concerned.

Mostly Geno realizes that this is going to spiral out of control very quickly and tugs Sid’s elbow until they’re stepping outside together in the freezing night where their shouts will actually reach each other’s ears.

Basically they end up in a Denny’s at 2 am blushing at each other. Geno getting his flirt on, because once he feels like Sid’s into him he is all confident body language and jokes, getting into Sid’s personal space with his impossibly long limbs. Sid relaxes into being kinda snarky and snide, but so quick-witted and kind, the side of him that Geno had only briefly glimpsed during their office hour conversations. And that’s all it really takes, because they both are the type to go for what they want, and the interest is clearly mutual, and it turns out they already know a bit too much about each other’s schedules and they just make it work in the best ways.

They quickly turn into THAT COUPLE that makes all their friends roll their eyes, and Geno never stops chirping Sid for “I didn’t think you were hot at first.” both in front of other people and while Sid is trying desperately to wrestle G’s jeans off (“oh, I’m hot enough now, Sid?” “shut UP Geno and lift up your hips!!”).

Of course being the academic doorknobs they are, neither of them realize that this is an everlasting permanent kind of love, a LEGIT COLLEGE SWEETHEART KIND OF LOVE until like Sid meal preps Geno's entire week without asking whenever he knows that there's a big assignment coming up and he's never gonna get out of the lab, so he like keeps eating vegetables and not just cheetos and potato-based dishes.

Geno adopts all Sid's weird little rituals in his spaces because he respects that Sid has a system and is serious about his studies and has witnessed the meltdowns that can occur when too big a wrench gets thrown into Sid’s day. He never bothers Sid while he’s studying, but working out a system to ask unobtrusively if he wants a snack.

Geno willingly gets pranked by Flower because there’s HAZING when it comes to roommate’s significant others showering in their bathroom.

Sid has an intimidating family dinner with the Gonchars he was in no way prepared for, but gamely shows up with a bottle of wine and a button down shirt that is still creased from the packaging.

By the time Geno is cheering in the crowd at Sid’s graduation they’re maybe getting an inkling what their future looks like, full of too many bookshelves, messy stacks of papers and notebooks, missed anniversaries for papers and research but made up with good sex and take out, lumpy knit sweaters over the backs of chairs and ugly but charming antique furniture. Full of each other.

#sid/geno #sidgeno #hockey RPF #headcanons from the icy void #disclaimer: smollandtoll are unaware of the status of geno's relationship to cheetos

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thisroadleadstoheaven-blog · 6 years

Text

Ode to a kid who is screwed, as told by another who is

I figure as good a place as any to start this blog out would be in the past. Christmas was enough to get me back in the room I grew up in, and among adolescent trash and pins I made out of bottlecaps I found a lot of old writing. This in particular I still found compelling, though lord knows exactly why.

Flowerboys

“Out from a cluttered den on wheels I emerge into the scene of childhood: family scattered about a park in the daytime, wrinkled flesh next to new.

But it isn't my childhood any longer.

No, the honor of this place has passed onto another, a little girl whose hair is a third the height of her body. Her cheeks plump around that unbelievably optimistic child's smile with all the newness of life, with all the substance by way of fat and mirth given of a loving mother.

Granted, her mother standing above her and holding her round little hamsteak hand is also plump in the face, but with even less of the newness of life.

Well, as of today life is less new for this young thing as well. It's a 7 year engagement now. It loses its value with every passing mile. But damn if the novelty isn't wearing off for her yet at all, as she chirps greetings in only slightly less highpitched tones and plays with all these people she wouldn't know very well yet even with the aid of an older memory.

Gathered about her are more than a few people. The usual suspects are here: the mostly mute child of the trucker-and-fat-townie-wife couple who will start melting down over nothing and acting out in 20 minutes, the lone young pretty girl who has already had as many years of spoiling as she has years of life, and...In the place of my young mousy cousin, there appears this 16 year old, thin ravenette of a girl with long dark hair, pale skin, and a thin waist. And then there's some guy with facial hair, who cares.

I spend a minute or two in disbelief, sidle up to my sister.My first words to the birthday girl's mother:

"Since when is that cousin so cute?"

"Oh, it had to happen sometime, I suppose. You do know she has her boyfriend here, right?"

I pretend not to.

Finally I approach her.

"Hey uh...."

"Chris, you've met me before."

She's wrong, but best not to explain how.

And now that my goddess has spurned me for my insolence, I'll get back to the Highly Important Happenings.

After all, I said something about an honor to this place.

What is the honor?

Good time to ask.

It's only as I tread out on the woodchips you get stuck in your sock from blasting off the swing, only when I see the same sets of cousins and friends-of-coworkers my sister has dragged here for her progeny (they may be different friends and cousins, but aside from that slight difference, it's all the same) as they dig between my toes that it quite registers.

Allow me to explain this to you, as I do to myself. If you've ever been around someone who likes to pretend to read more than they have (you have, and if you haven't that's because you ARE that person), you're bound to have heard that we only use 10% of our brain at any given time.

Obvious enough, right?

The implication usually is that we just suppress the parts that are really SMART and DEEP normally, and that's why people glide along like zombies so often.

But let me remind you that humans are also neurotic monkeys. And so while some people might really really HAVE a stealthily camouflaged physics department that just refuses to register as well as the parts that tell them how juicy that steak or that ass looks, more likely they have a mental ward in their head.

Luckily, sometimes it's both.

The mark of the noncrazy, I think, is to be able to keep most all the raving, incoherent, lusty and violent denizens of the ripples in your being suppressed, buried in the trenches as up above some mundane, stoic-faced asshole dressed in a labcoat and smug satisfaction strides on, only pays them dues when inspecting them, listening to their bitching every so often.

Going mad is having those wretches so long denied and ignored that they revolt, torch the place.

When you take the loonies on a bus (or well, a minivan in this case) and bring them round where they spent their childhood, though, it's hard to ignore them.

'Neath my skull I feel a troubled child travel guide coming on, myself. And he says this is the place where you sit and you're shown off by your parents to people you don't know, and in turn they show you their kids, who you will get to know for the space of an hour, until next year, when you do it all again. In the meanwhile: presents.

So, within 12 years of birthdays like this, you ALMOST get to know these people. Except the moment before they let you know anything deep about themselves, you jump a year in the future, they grow 3 inches and gain testicles, and you have to start all over again. But you don't bother because now instead of blocks you have a toy helicoptor to contend with.

They're the speed-dating relatives.

Yet there the girl of the hour is, hugging them and squealing at their very presence, young blonde hair showing seethrough in the summer sun swaying round as she gitters around excited at all that is happening.

She is either susceptible to bribes or having a collective 7 meet and greets has actually left her acquainted with the other kids, and her perpetual babyfat face shines to all, even as the pretty girl steals turns during their game. Young Buddha, if only not for the fact she certainly is enjoying her cheap presents.

And cheap they are. Watercolors vis a vie Walmart passes a sketchpad passes a plastic mutant Stawberry Shortcake doll, all into eyes that light up with a degree of gratitude and excitement that I no longer remember feeling over literally anything. The privilege of youth.

Suddenly a boy I don't recognize pops out, hands her something. Put next to the fat children of fat townies he's striking, a waify thin 10 year old who was just sitting silent, gives her his present equally silent, leans back behind others hiding once more.

She rips it open less silently. It's some book, but the packaging is more interesting: a brown paper package, wrapped old-fashioned with cord and patterned with..

"Are those dinosaurs printed on in ink? Did you get that somewhere? It's really nice."

"Uh, thanks... Actually we ripped apart grocery bags, used that paper and.."

His mother leans over him, a willowy girl about 35 that you could spot as a librarian a mile away even if it weren't for the fact she's my sister's coworker.

"We printed it on, just cut out foam and made stamps."

"Huh, it worked fairly well."

Meanwhile the slow child of my mother's townie friends begins wailing incoherent because people aren't paying attention to him, the pretty girl pouts, and my goddess runs off with some rinkadink highshool boy.

And in the background here sit two mousy, unassuming people I don't know, not making noise, aloof. The roundfaced star of the day is left alone with a stack of plastic and MADE IN CHINA. And a single tastefully executed present, wrapped in DIY...

Who the fuck are these people?

I ask my sister that, in slightly different words, and I learn the obvious: she's a coworker.

"Her son's name is Zander. You've seen him before."

"Maybe..?"

Then for something else obvious:"

Anyway, she's good people. She homeschools him, they tend to keep to themselves."

"I can tell."

Zander is a 12 year old boy. From the front. From the back meanwhile he's thin as a rod and has a long ponytail trailing down the back of his neck, held in clips in one or two places. He speaks when spoken to, and has noticable anxiety being among the wails of the simple, and among their rituals, is lost behind the wailing, jiggling crowd and perfectly alright with that....

Yeah, I can tell both those things alright.

I mentioned taking the loose wires and the erratic sparks they make strewn about your head on a field trip into memory, yeah? Well this I do again over the next few minutes.

As the trucker's wife waddles her wailing spawn away out of earshot, as the remaining kids play games, I stare at the boy.

And I feel genuinely bad for him.

Because I know what he is.

At no point did I have to ask whether he had a father around anywhere. He can barely react to an illiterate potato of a 7 year old crying over him by doing anything other than edging away. And if you animated him, some nerd would probably find him attractive.

Not that any of this is unusual or significant. Not that what he is is rare or significant: a boy raised by erratic, anxious, neurotic estrogen.

Really, he's simply a future contestant in an increasingly popular gameshow: Let's Raise Boys Like Flowers and Laugh when they get Stomped.

I'm transported, looking at his wandering eyes and conveniently obscured face, back to my own childhood. Back to realizing in my first classroom that I had no clue what to do around people. Nor did I know how to write the letter to my parents explaining I had no idea what to do around people.

I remember hating myself for not knowing what to do around people. I remember resenting the lack of masculine figures around..

And I'm not a willow bowled over like wheat to any healthy breeze.

He gets up, wanders behind a tree, and I follow. The mantra of pain that he's sure to expect becomes desire to let him in on his fate.

But then I'm there, looking down on something utterly innocent and frail and sweet. And my mission is to tell it how hard it'll get the shit kicked out of it come the time it has anything other than it's mother to turn to for guidance. A unque kind of burden.

And as I wonder to myself how he'll react (would he interpret a warning of bullying as bullying? Whose place is it to do this?), his mother swoops, eager to let it all remain a mystery awhile longer.

So it is. Let cute be cute, and the mental issues that accompany it develop on their own time.

#goddamn19yearoldme #writing #childhood

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redsdesktop · 7 years

Text

Namelessshipping: What If...

Chapter 2

Pairings: Red x Green Oak

Warnings: None

AU: Canon Divergence.

The past week with Green's eevee had been great, it was like having a piece of his childhood friend there with him. A glimpse into the private life of the superstar. Eevee was definitely spoiled, having her meals at a certain time, to having multiple groomings and then demanding she sleep on Red's pillow with him. It was nice, Red had often wondered if Green still treated his Pokemon the same as they had in their youth, but seeing how well taken care of eevee was, his concerns were soothed over. He didn't know how or why Green had changed, maybe that was just a part of growing up. His pikachu was equally thrilled to have eevee around, though he had learned quickly that eevee wasn't the rough-housing type and would bite pikachu if he was too out of control for her.

As Red observed her, he noticed she acted quite similar to how he remembered Green, on the surface, she held herself like she was better than everyone else but in fact, she hated to be alone. Whenever his pikachu was around, she would groom him as long as he stayed still, otherwise she would swat and bite until he behaved. It was cute and amusing, something he never wanted to forget. Which lead him to start taking pictures of them with his phone, he knew eevee would eventually go back to Green, so he wanted something to remember her by. However, he felt the desire to show these pictures off, for if they made him smile then maybe it would make someone else smile.

Pokemon had always cheered him up when he felt down, especially after he and Green had gone their separate ways. Loneliness had set in, his life seemed all too quite without Green's loud voice calling out for him to come outside and play. Pikachu was a great companion, keeping him on track and moving forward when all he wanted to do was go back into the past, when things were much more simple and fun. Red hadn't been one for social media, his co-workers at the lab continued to hound him to get something like facebook or twitter, but Red hadn't been interested in it at the time. Now though, he wanted to share pictures, to share what made him happy. However, he didn't want anyone to know it was him, he didn't want any attention on him, so he signed up to Twitter under an alias.

The Silent Photographer.

He stopped there, he felt a little nervous as he looked down at eevee and pikachu curled up asleep on his lap, would people even really care? There had to be tons of images of Pokemon online, would people even manage to find his? Were the pictures even that great? His expression shifted to one of stress as his brows furrowed, red eyes staring at the screen as if it would give him the answers. Instead, eevee's trill brought him from his doubts, she was giving him an annoyed glare, sensing the tension within him. Red gave a breathy little laugh at that look, this was definitely Green's eevee. How many times had his childhood friend given him that look whenever Red thought he couldn't do something? He switched over to his camera feature so he could capture that look, which afterwards he received a small bite from the eevee for laughing at her.

Her glare was the first picture he uploaded to his Twitter account.

Once the first picture was uploaded, he couldn't really stop himself as he began to upload more pictures. He made sure only to pick the best ones and he didn't put any description. This was about the Pokemon, not about what he thought. Eevee, satisfied with her job well done, settled back down to snuggle up against the sleeping pikachu who hadn't been in the slightest bit disturbed. Red set his phone on the table beside his couch and picked the two up into his arms, it was time to clean them both up, then himself, and then it would time to fall asleep in bed. It was a routine now and he was glad to have the company, too bad he couldn't sleep in since he had to head in to work early tomorrow.

The next day, Red's phone went off, the alarm waking him up with a groan and he reached over to grab his phone and shut the alarm off. He sat up in bed, scratching at his bed hair as he looked blearily down at his phone to check the time. The clock was correct but he noticed he had over a hundred notifications from twitter. Startled, he quickly unlocked his phone and tapped on the Twitter app to check what was going on. A lot of people liked his photos, some even retweeted them, he even received a few comments proclaiming how adorable these two Pokemon were. It made him nervous and panicked and he quickly shut off his phone as if that would make it all go away. He hadn't expected that much attention, so he decided to ignore it and get ready for work instead.

After doing his morning rituals of cleaning, getting dressed and grabbing breakfast, he headed out towards the lab with eevee and pikachu perched on his shoulders. It was a bit heavy, but he was used to it by now, it was definitely a workout, not that he really needed it. As he entered the lab, he was lucky enough to not be greeted by chaos this time, no flock of pidgey flying around wildly, no upset eevee tearing up his lab reports.He could only hope it stayed like this. Eevee and his pikachu hopped off his shoulders to go play around the lab and the pasture in the back of the lab that kept the larger Pokemon. Red sighed out, wishing he could join them, but first he had to handle the paperwork that stacked up overnight.

He sat down at his desk, booting up his computer, it was quiet this morning and the other assistants wouldn't be in for another hour or so. Red worked best when he was alone anyways, the silence allowed him to think and not worry about interacting with other people. The other lab assistants had grown to understand that Red didn't like conversation much, so they tended to leave him be unless it was important and they needed his help. He was just about to open his work email when the door slammed open, making Red jump a little in surprise. No one opened the door that fast and that loudly around here, it was supposed to be a calm paradise for Pokemon who were stuck in a trainer's PC or a wild Pokemon in need of healing. Whoever it was, he did not really want to confront them.

"Where is she?!"

Frowning at the familiar voice, Red turned around as he needed to see it to believe it and no doubt Green oak was standing in the open door, looking hellbent on something. Red felt his heart beat pick up, suddenly panicking. He hadn't seen green in over a decade, hadn't even talked to him. Green had never tried to reach out to him, to find where he was so he assumed his childhood friend had moved on and Red didn't want to bother him with the past. They weren't children any more, things had changed and Green had left this little town in the dust along with everyone who lived in it. He could understand Green not talking to his grandfather, he'd seen how Professor Oak had treated his grandson. It was just another reason Red never had the heart to beat Green at the Indigo Plateau, Green needed an escape.

With no one else but Red here at the lab, he couldn't send them to deal with Green, making him wonder if he still had time to hide. The bookshelf behind him partially obscured Green's line of sight, so it was a possibility.He turned back and slowly began to try to ease himself down, hiding under the desk didn't sound like a bad idea. Running away was a cowardly move but how could he face Green? He had no idea how to interact with him now that they were adults, would Green even remember him? He was afraid to know the answer, afraid it wouldn't be the one he hoped for and couldn't allow himself to feel crushed like that. However, before he could disappear, Green spotted him and began to storm his way over to Red.

"Yo', nerd in a labcoat! Don't think you can hide from me! Where's eevee!"

Arceus, he was too late, he reached up and rubbed his cheek, good thing he decided to shave this morning, he didn't want to look like an exhausted washed up Pokemon trainer. Before Red could try to sign anything, Eevee came running up, trilling happily at the sight of Green, Pikachu was running after her and carrying a flower in his mouth. However, when Pikachu noticed Green, his look soured, making Red want to groan. Pikachu had never really got along with Green, it was mostly Red's fault though. He had confided in his remaining friend how much he missed Green during their League adventure, making Pikachu pissed off at the other trainer for ignoring Red and his feelings. Luckily Green hadn't understood Pikachu, or was just too caught up in obtaining his dreams, he didn't stop and consider it.

Green opened his arms, catching Eevee as she lept into his arms, delivering tiny licks as kisses all over her trainer's face. Red watched in a bit of admiration, hearing Green laugh and smile like that, truly in a state of happiness. It was a sight to behold. Red glanced over at his phone, yearning to take a picture but he didn't want to risk ruining the moment. A moment he might not ever see again, so he wanted it to last as long as it could. Until Pikachu growled and the snap of sparks from his cheeks drew Green out of his reunion, amber eyes looking down in surprise to see Pikachu there. The yellow rodent was braced on all fours, his fur bristled and the flower he'd been holding was forgotten on the ground as he stared at Green with anger Red had never seen before.

"Pika-punk?" Green managed to say before an electric shock bolted from Pikachu's body and clashed straight against Green. Eevee had been smart enough to leap away from Green, abandoning her trainer to land on Red's lap. All hope of a decent greeting towards Green went out the window thanks to his defensive Pokemon.

So much for a peaceful day.

#namelessshipping #originalshipping #what if #trainer red #trainer green #trainer blue #green oak #blue oak #alternate universe #au #canon divergence #fanfic #fanfiction

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ol-razzle-dazazzle · 7 years

Text

For Elise

I’d just like to preface this saying that THIS RELATIONSHIP IS NOT MEANT TO BE ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL. ANY MENTIONS OF SHIPPING AND PEDOPHILIA WILL BE BLOCKED. I DO NOT CONDONE SHIPPING WITH MINORS

Also tw for physical child abuse (between mori and his dad), murder, graphic depictions of violence, that kinda thing so please don’t read this if you will be discomforted by these.

This is meant to be an exploration into Mori’s backstory and Elise’s relationship, autonomy and how they both develop. The two are not shown in a romantic way, and the things Mori does are meant to be wrong. Critiquing this work is totally fine, and additions onto your thoughts are welcome, but anything resembling a minor adult relationship will be blocked immediately.

When I was younger I had an imaginary friend, as most children do.

I myself, was an imaginary fairy tale child never meant to be. A glorious fling at some long forgotten golden day ballroom. The only memory I have of her is seen only through her porcelain beauty in dolls. Father was a doll maker. I based my imaginary friend off her.

There is nothing stranger when you’re a child then being able to configure a person. I remember when I was the ripe age of 8 that I saw no longer the invisible then a mannequin, untouched girl my age lying down. Flat, soulless eyes. Fair blonde hair like spun gold. Her eyes made no attempt to stare. Is this her? “Rinny?” I had never been called that name.

“That’s not my name.” I wave a hand and she gets up. “I like it! It’s cute.” She looks around, seeing the surrounding dolls. “Well?” She turns to me, and the childish mythical light returns to her. “Well what?” “Aren’t you going to make me wear one of these?”

I look around at the dolls, as she follows around me. “What’s you’re name?”

She giggles, “Elise, you know that already, Rinny.” Out of the corner of my eye I find a nice pink dress with frills and before I know it she’s already dashed towards it. “It’s lovely!” “It is…but…” It doesn’t fit, it doesn’t feel right. “Oh, at least make me try it!” How could I go against the emerald sparkle in her eyes?

“Okay…how do I do that?” “Just configure me like you did to make me move.” “Right, so I move my hand onto-” “You can’t just watch me change, jeez!” She sticks her tongue out, despite the fact that she’s just dashed around normally. “R-Right…” I turn around, and do some strange orchestration with my fingers, and… “Don’t I look adorable?” “Yes, you do.” I smile. “You’re not even looking!” She huffs, walking over to me, the soft clack of wooden clogs that almost slip off on her. “Haven’t you heard of fastening?” She chuckles. “What do you think?”

“…I don’t like it.” The words spill, it’s surprisingly easy to be honest with her. “Ah I know right! I hate it!” She grabs the dress, her eyes look different…pale, thin, reptilian almost. She grabs the frock, nails ripping into the expensive fabric and tearing it into pieces.

“E-Elise, what are you, stupid?!” I run towards the fabric, but to no avail- it’s merely a pile of rags.

Father would kill me.

“No…” She raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t like it, so I destroyed it.”

I groan, “Just because I hate it doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve to exist.”

“Well you like me, and I deserve to exist, don’t I?”

“…” I can barely stare at her.

“See?” And with that laugh, I can’t stay mad- not that I was in the first place.

*****

Until he comes home. Father usually worked in other rooms, but when he needed to get lace…he noticed one of the dresses was missing.

Father usually drank. Drank to forget, forget ‘her’ and to forget me. As if my existence was some fairy tale like dream, just born from imagination.

However, the blows he struck upon me were reality.

I had always been a mouse. Quiet. I never made a sound. I cleaned, I helped Father when he was sick, it was if I was the one playing house. With my imaginary friends.

Where is she? I yelp as he throws me into the wall. If Mother was here, would she allow this? Is there any reason for my existence, aside from being spit at that I’m just a “Bastard.”

There’s a chuckle. As if the cherubs in heaven are laughing at my bruises. I look up, and am rewarded with another punch.

I stare at Father. I hate him. I want to kill him. But I could never, I’m not an idealized hero or whatever bullshit, I’m a scared little child.

He stopped moving, as if I willed it.

Father fell down, and I see her there.

“E-Elise?” She’s covered in blood, she clawed his organs as easily as fabric.

“Rinny.” She smiles, and she lets out a hand. “You control the world around you now.”

This was my first time my hands became covered in blood.

*****

School wasn’t particularly better. I had sold most of the dresses and dolls (much to Elise’s dismay), but I left all the red ones alone, she liked those best, and they suited her.

There was one problem though, as schoolchildren grew up, and nattered on about love and whatever else, I found no such thing. Despite the fact that we played house together, and she did my school tie in the mornings, I felt no need to set my lips upon anyone, let alone all that other…insanitary matters.

As time went on, she needed a bigger chair as she insisted fixing my collar.

Elise had stuck through everything with me, except one thing.

She never aged.

“Elise…can you come here for a moment?” I call out to her, wincing at my legs. It was to be expected, a bastard orphan with an imaginary friend, and a weakling at that. I was always frail. I never felt the need to run away.

“Of course!” She skipped over to me, but halfway through her smile dissolved, but continued nonetheless.

“Can I hug you?” It was rare that my voice shook, but I had realized that I haven’t felt human affection in…decades, at least. Even the batterings were somewhat bearable to simply feel skin.

She laughed. A long time, a strained time.

I stepped closer, she stepped back.

“…You know the answer to that. I’m not going to give you a false hope.”

She’s not real. She’s not real. She’s not real.

“Can I pretend?”

I felt plastic-like arms around me. “As long as you know you are.”

***** Another problem that came with school, is what would come after. I was smart enough; excelling at most things, be it writing or science. In true ‘nerd’ fashion, my only lacking subject was Physical Education.

I liked the feel of wearing a labcoat. It was like my very own ballgown, where I would twirl. Sometimes, if I could conjure her, Elise would appear, and (as she had learnt to float by now) we would dance and laugh until the world seemed to dull.

“You know, Rintarou- you could always give them some nice chemicals.” She peers over an experiment, poking at a beaker. “This one’s really pretty! It’s such a lovely shade of purple, anyone would want to drink it!”

“You know that would shut down your internal organs, right?” I can’t help but chuckle, but I would never do such a thing.

“Even soooo…lemme have it!” She smiles gleefully, and I flick her away.

I hear a set of footsteps. It’s not the same clack as Elise’s shoes.

“What’s he even doing here? Does he want to burn the place down?” “I hear that’s what happened with his dad.” “Really? Nah, such a pathetic idiot couldn’t even fight back.” “Let’s make him drink it!”

My mouth was clasped open, and my eyes widened at the poison, before flickering shut.

Ah, so this is how it ends. At least I’m wearing my borrowed labcoat. On second thought, maybe burning this school would be better…I want them to suffer. I want them to die.

Glass shattered on the floor.

And when I opened my eyes, they were dead.

I looked over at the cut open corpses, and Elise smiling innocently with a scalpel in her hand, eyes thin and dimples showing.

“Thank you.” The words came out of me breathlessly, but were said…nonchalantly. I was amazed at myself, for not crying or screaming. Before me are three dead bodies.

I controlled the world around me.

I smiled.

“Elise, hand me the scalpel.” She did, and I could swear her skin almost had some flesh to it.

The human body is such a fascinating thing, isn’t it? There’s so many complex things to it, so much filth, so many cells… and yet, Elise was merely…a thing. Not human, but even devoid of such things as guilt, she cared about me.

Maybe she was more human than I could ever be.

Three months later after the deaths of students were forgotten, I got asked what I wanted to do.

“I want to become a doctor.”

*****

And so I worked. Elise was upset, but managed to satisfy her imagination with designs of cute doctor attire. During all nighters where she held crayons cradled in her arms, I set a blanket over her, and reminded myself I needed sleep.

She was just as determined as I was to study, and with the help of all nighters and comically shaped flash cards, I managed to get into a med school.

It was then everything…ah, got better as much as it got worse.

*****

I met someone very strange there. For you see, I’d never met someone that had something like I did. An ability.

A woman who was probably the closest person befitting of a title such as 'friend’.

The next two years passed without a hitch. I noticed that Yosano’s patients during our internship were at 100% success rate, and she was taken into emergency.

As someone who was relatively calm myself, and had experienced death, I was alongside her, though sadly my patients died due to internal bleeding.

Yosano was an empathic doctor, as she grieved for the patients I lost more than I did. It was her only weakness, and soon she started to adopt some sadistic state to deal with it. Our patients were probably too scared to die ahahaha~

But there was one.

It was at 3 in the morning, Yosano had treated most of them, or they were sent into other sectors. 'You really shouldn’t let her do everything, you have to be the best doctor Rinny…’ Elise pouted, she finally stole away some medical equipment and wore a nurses’ garb with glee (even the initially 'tacky surgery stuff’)

But I wouldn’t be so cruel, and Elise knew that, as she flopped on the bed with a sigh. 'This is taking too long! Why do you want to be a doctor anyway?’ She kicked the sheets up.

Then he came in. A man of about sixty stepped shakily through the door. I could see the problem already in his leg, and it was my shift and Yosano’s to try and sleep.

“Shit…I think…yes, I found you.”

A strange thing to say to a doctor, as I didn’t recognize the man himself, and it was dark besides. I switched on the lights, and ushered him to the bed.

“Sir, you have a blood clot. In around 5 minutes we can treat it, though you’ll have to be careful to not put pressure on your leg.” It was a simple diagnosis, it wasn’t that bad. The man’s break was laboured and shook, even despite no further injury. He must’ve been running.

“Thank you…Doctor Rintarou.”

I glanced down at my name tag. How would he know my first name?

“I’m afraid I don’t recognize you, sir.”

He grabbed my coat to lean closer. “Don’t these eyes look familiar, Rintarou?”

“Like the eyes of my son, who was cut open in his final year.”

The grip tightened. He was choking me, but his feeble hands broke away as I wrenched free.

I’m not weak.

“Sir, I have a duty of care to save your life. The clot could prove harmful if left unchecked.” I smiled, despite sweat dripping down my collar.

“I’d rather be burned alive. I’m here because you killed him. I know you did.”

“But sir, you do know the official archives depicted a knife fight? Your son was taken in by the wrong group, it’s only natural…”

“You’re a fucking liar. I know it was you. Little Rintarou didn’t cry after that.”

“Your son was a miserable excuse of a human being.”

“I saw. Because when I was picking him up…”

“What a kind, lovely father you are. I wish I had one so respectable.”

“I saw your face was stained with purple. You were there with a child. Were you going to kill her too?”

I sigh, getting a scalpel. “Her name, sir, is Elise.”

“You didn’t even know his name. You don’t even know who he was.”

“His name?! His name means nothing! I know what he was. If it wasn’t for work reasons I could strip down and I could show you every little scratch your son wrote on me. His name! That’s what you’re here for, I’m here to make something of myself-”

“Everyone will know.” He smiles. He does share a smile with his son. Deplorable.

“I’ll tell them all.”

“The dead have no mouths.” I sneer, and plunge the scalpel into his throat.

“…What are you doing.” I turn, and I see her there. Yosano, eyes weary and gasping in horror.

“What have you done?!”

“You don’t know? Why, now how did you even pass the exam then, dear?” I feel a smile. I can’t stop, this is what it must be like when Elise finds a new ribbon.

She shoves me aside, and plunges the scalpel into his heart. “Come on… come on.”

“Yosano, why are you hurting our patient further?”

“Please…bring him back. Please, please. You shall not die.”

“Oh my.” The realization dawns on me. “You have an ability.”

She turns toward me, eyes wide. “What do you-”

“That’s why they all live.”

“That’s not true…”

“You can’t save him, he had too many internal injuries.” I smile, “He’s already dead.”

“You’re a monster.”

“I’m a doctor. And I will continue to be such…” I retrieve another knife, and stab her in the back.

“No you won’t. Get out.” She reaches for the knife behind her back, she’s fine.

For the first time, I ran.

*****

“Rinny, you should’ve been more careful.” Elise calls out. We’re in an alley, I clutch at my coat and it’s red.

“Now everything’s gone away. All that hard work.” She floats up to me.

“It’s fine. It’ll be fine.” I murmur to myself.

“He was a nice father… I’ve never seen someone defend family so much before.” Her words cut through me, but I know it’s what I think.

It’s tiring. Everything I had built up…two decades of work, and what for?

“The boss has been shot!”

Hmmm, perhaps my choice in alleyways was a bit /too/ dingy. “He needs to see a doc, right away!”

“Are you stupid? What, and just tell them, oh yeah, the port mafia boss wants a little patching up.”

Elise is tugging me. She knows where we’re going.

There’s a man bleeding out. Well, there are lots of men bleeding out, or dead. He’s murmuring, “Kill them, all of them, kill them all! ”

“They’re already dead, boss.” I see a man twice my age, smoking a cigarette as if he wasn’t standing in a field of death.

Well that’s a little hypocritical, considering…

“I know a doctor!” Shock courses through me, as Elise tugs on the man’s coat. “Rinny’s a doc! He can patch the boss up real good!”

They all stare up at me, as if judging whether I was fit to live.

“This scrawny guy?”

Elise kicks his shins, “Yeah! If anyone can, he can!” She stares up at me.

Do I really think that of myself?

“I’ll see what I can do.”

It was a bullet stuck in his shoulder. I still had some blades on me, so I managed to make short work.

However, I would like to add that it’s probably painful when you’re hearing, “Fuck it hurts! I swear, I’ll kill you! I’ll kill your whole family!”

I decided I didn’t like this man. As I was working on saving him I thought to myself 'I feel as if one day I will kill him’.

“We need something to stop the blood flow…Elise?”

She pouts, “Fine…” As she cuts at the sleeves on her dress, wrapping him up.

“Wait a sec… he’s got one.”

“What are you talking about?” Elise looks up.

“An ability? We’ve never even seen him before…”

“Let alone one that makes…this.” A man rustled Elise’s hair.

“She’s mine.”

“Yeah! He’s mine!” Elise quickly grips him away, sticking her tongue out. “He’s my ability.”

“Eh really?”

“Nope!”

“Elise…” Mori sighs softly, before smiling.

“So, you’re a doctor huh?”

“Of sorts…”

Elise smiled, “He’s going to get kicked out of med school because he killed people.”

Despite Elise’s slip, the people seem nervous, there’s an exchange of nods. The boss has passed out.

“So…how would you like to be a vet, uh…Rinny was it?”

“Ougai, its Mori Ougai.” I take extra measure to make the city light glint on my scalpel. “And I’m a doctor.”

“Well how about you take care of some ol’ dogs like us?”

***** “Hey Rinny, how come if you can 'configure me’, you never let me age for all those years?”

“Hm?” I turn towards Elise, who’s busy drawing the Mafia, in crayon. “Well…I’m not sure.”

“You said I looked like Mother, when you first made me up.” She muses, “But you never saw her aside from pictures, right?”

“Right…” I scoop her up, adjusting her ribbons. “Well, Elise was always there, and so I’ll leave you as you always are.”

“The perfect Elise.” She snickers.

“I wouldn’t change her any other way.”

Yes, she was the one constant in my life. Even as the world around me changed, as I changed from a meek worthless bastard to a much more confident and murderous bastard…she was always there.

'You can control the world around you now’.

And she finishes my thought, “But I’m your whole world, right?”

#Elise #mori #bsd #my writing #headcanons ahoy!!!#mori cares about Elise a lot #what is their relationship? daughter? servant? imaginary friend? sister? murder accomplice??? who knows #mori ougai //#if you want me to tag anything please do not hesitate to ask

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wilwywaylan · 7 years

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52 questions : Pavelko :D :D :D

Big steps in the relationship !

0. But, how did they meet ? One glorious day, Kiyoshi summoned her son in the cafeteria and announced : “Son of mine, I found you something, you’re going to be happy !”. She gave him a pic of Inuko and announced loudly “this is your new job AND your new girlfriend ! Aren’t you happy ?” He almost strangled her here and then (and threw his coffee cup on Sakae to stop his snickering). Finally, he went to the labs to meet Inuko. It wasn’t easy at first, because Inuko doesn’t have any social skills thanks to Ilya, but their common hate for him ended up smoothing things down, and Inuko let Pavel make xem sociable and be xir friend.

1. Who made the first move / who kissed who first ? …. probably Scarlett. Or at least she has a lot of responsibility in what happens. She knows that Pavel is a furry and likes cute monster girls, and he certainly has a crush on Inuko. But as interested as he is, he’s a nerd, and he’s not going to do anything. So she takes upon herself to help them, like a benevolant and overly made-up fairy godmother. She starts to explain everything about feelings and sex to Inuko. At first, xe doesn’t want to hear about anything from her, but since Pavel doesn’t seem to want to tell xem (or maybe he can’t, he changes color when xe asks), Scarlett is xir only source of information, and xe ends up listening to her (and then double-checks the informations with Ruud and Sakae, because Scarlett is a scientist, and Inuko doesn’t trust scientists). There’s no really initiative from either side. They are watching a movie as usual, where they snark about the usual dispensable love story. They look at each other, at the screen, at each other. They avert their eyes, play with the plaid, watch the movie with an unusual intensity…. They don’t know who moves first, but suddenly, they are kissing. It’s weird at first, because they aren’t used to it and well, Pavel is kissing a cute monster girl, but it feels good. So they do it again. And again.

2. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first ? Pavel doesn’t really need, because of the way Kiyoshi presented that new job. When she discovers both of them sprawled on the bed, watching cartoons and eating sushis, he just gets a nice “I told you so” look.

3. What do their family/friends think of their relationship ? Kiyoshi, Ruud and Sakae are nothing but enthusiastic and supportive. Because weird child has weird parents. But Pavel is happy, Inuko is taken care of, they are kinda cute together, and everybody is happy. Even if the familly photos are kinda weird. Pavel’s friends are happy too that their captain nerd has found someone. He’s, like, super happy all the time and gushing and talks about The Person. There’s a weird moment of silence when he finally shares the pics, but after all, they kinda knew that he was a furry, and after all, well, tastes and all… Besides, Inuko is cool, so they let it go.

4. Which couple/family are they closest to ? Mommy, daddy and daddy, of course ! They are a close-knit familly AND they live close to each other, so of course, it helps. But Kiyoshi masters the art of not meddling too much in her son’s business and to leave them some space, so it works out.

5. When do they move together ? Where and how ? Almost as soon as they start getting along enough. It’s easier for Pavel to have Inuko at hand for all the activities he usually plans for the day. Kiyoshi just gives him the Mom Knowing Glance. It’s very fast since Inuko doesn’t have many things to move, just a box of plushies and a few other things. It means it’s quite fast to make some space for xer stuff, and soon they are comfortably settled.

6. Who proposes and how ? They would probably never get married, because of all the legal hussle that surrounds Inuko’s existence. And even if there wasn’t, it’s a human ceremony that doesn’t hold any significance for Inuko, and Pavel just doesn’t care. And even even, Inuko would never, ever wear a wedding dress, so it would mean Pavel would have to, and that’s too difficult for everyone to endure.

7. Where do they go on their honeymoon ?They would probably offer themselves some holidays, just Pavel and Inuko, no one else. They would go in a remote location, where they don’t risk seeing people and people freaking out when seeing Inuko. Lots of walks, good wifi, a comfortable little cottage, and coffee and snacks. It would be perfect.

Let’s talk about sex~

8. Who has the biggest kink (and what is it) ? For a human, Pavel has a really strong kink with his interest in cute monster girls. But Inuko is half-dog, half-human, full-monster-girl, and she has a strong interest in scruffy humans, so it’s a draw.

9. Who initiates sex more often ? On this point, they are evenly matched. For a nerd whose only exercize is getting up to go a pick a cup of coffee, Pavel is quite interested in physical exertion~ And Inuko doesn’t mind “playing” with xir human.

10. What kink/kinks turn(s) one (or both) of them off ? Anything that looks even remotely like scientific stuff is a huge turn off for Inuko because of bad memories. So no labcoat play for them ! And totally forget about needle play.

11. What’s the craziest place they’d have sex ? Pavel’s flat. They aren’t adventurous, and it’s better to be comfortable.

12. Who is more aggressive in bed ? Totally Inuko. Must come with the personnality and animal nature. Not that Pavel minds, really~

13. How does the other person react when their partner wears something special (boots, lingerie, etc.) ? Pavel gets the full-body blush in an interesting shade of crimson. Inuko just borks, but it’s a special bork~

14. Lights on or off ? They don’t care either way, really. Besides, Inuko has night vision.

Quirks and habits

15. What are their quirks while sleeping ? Inuko sleeps on a pile of cushions, with a few blankets thrown here and there that xe doesn’t use, and xir whole collection of plushies (it takes a lot of space). Most of the time, xe sleeps like a dog, curled up on xemselves, head on hands/paws. Now Pavel sleeps with Inuko, because it’s better like that and he can check on xem whenever he wants. He’s the one using the blankets most of the time. He moves a lot while sleeping, because of the caffeine and because half the time, he’s lying on a plush that’s poking him uncomfortably. Inuko is very happy to have someone to cuddle up with, especially on cold night, even if that someone moves and growls. Besides, xe moves and growls as much as him, so…

16. Who is the morning person/night person ? Pavel is both the morning and night person because of ongoing insomnia. No one knows why. Maybe it’s the coffee, maybe it’s genetic. But he only sleeps an average of 4 hours per night. He tends to keep books and tablets near his bed to keep himself busy.Inuko is quite a morning person. After all, xe’s a dog. Xe takes several naps during the day, and most of the time, goes to bed when Pavel does. When they start sleeping in Inuko’s bed-slash-basket, Pavel has to take great care of not waking Inuko up with his reading light. It doesn’t always work.

17. Who wakes the other one up with kisses ? Inuko, if by “kiss”, you mean “laying on top of Pavel like the dog xe is”.

18. Who is the romantic one (Valentine’s Day or other) ? They are as romantic as BRICKS. Inuko doesn’t understand the concept of romantism and gestures, because Pavel is not xir mate (yet), and besides, what’s the point of having music and flowers around a meal, when there is A MEAL ? Pavel doesn’t see why he should teach xem otherwise, because it’s easier that way and he likes it better too (I mean, meal. Important. And then, play pokemon and throw plushies at each other). Somewhere, Scarlett is crying. When Pavel becomes Inuko’s mate, it… doesn’t change, because let’s face it, flowers and such don’t ring Inuko’s interests at all. Bringing food, cheering him up, punching someone in the face, yes. The rest ? Not so much. Pavel agrees.

19. Who would lead in ballroom dancing ? No one ! Pavel doesn’t like to dance. He doesn’t have two left feet, but it’s really not his cup of coffee. Inuko doesn’t see the point at all.

20. Who is the one to most likely pick the movie they watch ? Pavel, of course. Well, first step is explaining what a movie is. Then that it’s not real. Then, the different sorts of movies they have. Finally, what makes the difference between a good movie and a bad one. It’s easier to decide on his own, in fact, and put Inuko in front of it.

21. Who is the one who would pay for dates ? Pavel does, since he’s the one who gets money. But as Inuko doesn’t leave the facility, he’s the one paying for delivery food (because there are foods Ruud doesn’t know how to cook or refuses to. Like hamburgers).

22. Who takes over the beauty/style department ? If you can call Pavel’s collection of baggy jeans and novelty shirts “style”. Inuko loves stealing his clothes because they are large and comfortable and fit over xir body. Pavel has to buy MORE geeky clothes for the two of them. He happily complies (mommy is footing the bill anyway).

23. What would they get each other for gifts ? Pavel always buys Inuko plushies. Lots and lots of plushies. Dogs (especially Shiba Inu), kittens, pokemons… A few other toys, maybe, but, like, 90% of his gifts are plushies.Inuko doesn’t earn money, so xe can’t buy Pavel anything. With Ruud’s help, xe cooks him something. Mainly meat, because meat is good. And an electronic cigarette (Kiyoshi bought it, but it was Inuko who had the revelation).

24. Who cusses more ? Inuko. Xe has a whole range of words, sounds and growls to quailfy Ilya. Pavel takes great delight in noting all of them, but he hasn’t heard them all yet, it seems.

25. Who remembers things ? And who forgets the birthdays and anniversaries (and has to be forgiven) ? Gods bless the automatic calendar on Pavel’s computer. He never forgets anything, and even added different chimes and bells to hisdifferent categories of events (Inuko has the cutest little bork). Inuko doesn’t remember lots of dates, because xe often don’t really understand the signification of anniversaries. Pavel tries to explain, but it escapes xem. Except when it means celebratory sushis.

26. Who is the bigger cuddler ? Inuko. Xe’s half-dog, and sometimes, it shows, especially when xe wants attention. Pavel is very happy to give scratches and hugs.

27. Nicknames for each other ? Inuko calls Pavel by a very special bork. Pavel calls Inuko “puppy”.

28. Who decorates the apartment ? Since it’s Pavel’s apartment, he decorated it himself, with posters, pics, toys, etc… he likes. Inuko didn’t change many things, but xir plushie collection is nicely displayed, including the giant shiba plush. Now xe gives xir advice on what Pavel buys to decorate, and even proposes a few shows or games.

29. Who initiates duets ? No one. Inuko doesn’t have the vocal chords to sing, it’s too straining for xem. And Pavel couldn’t hold a note to save his life. They are very happy to sit back watch Sakae and Ruud perform.

30. What do they do to cheer each other up ? Pavel distracts Inuko with games, treats, or a new plushie if he has a new one at hand. Other times, he lets xem rant and growl at what bothers xem, and adds a few colorful words of his own. It works most of the time because Ilya is the main annoyance in Inuko’s life, after all. When Pavel is upset, Inuko brings him plushies. The more upset he is, the more plushies he gets, until his desk and chair are covered in toys. And then, it it’s not enough, Inuko lays xir head on his lap and let him pet xir fur.

Daily life

31. Who is more tech-savvy ? Pavel because of his job, nerd-ness and young age, is really on point with everything technologic. But Inuko isn’t left behind. Xe didn’t take long to be familiar with tablets and the like, and uses them so easily that even Pavel is impressed (and let’s not talk about video games, especially Pokemon…).

32. Who drinks all of the coffee ? Pavel, Pavel, Pavel. Sakae once offered him a coffee IV, and it’s only because Kiyoshi promised to put some vodka in it if he dared using it that he stuck with the mugs. Inuko doesn’t drink coffee, the smell and taste are too strong for xem.

33. Who does what chores ? Ah, the luck of working with your family, who cooks and makes coffee all day for you and everyone here ! No need to cook, you just stroll into the meal room, pick up something to eat and go back. Cleaning is another problem. Pavel doesn’t have a cleaning bone in his body, and the human concept of order escapes Inuko. So the flat is always a mess. Pavel did learn how to do laundry, and he takes care of that. Inuko just puts the plushies and the bedding away so they don’t get dirty.

34. Who kills the bugs ? Inuko. Damn those canine reflexes. The only bugs Pavel kills are the ones in his computer.

35. Who makes the bed in the mornings ? What is this “make bed” that you speak of ? The bed always looks like a pile of pillows and comfy things, covered in blankets, other pillows and plushies. Sometimes, Pavel and Inuko jump in the pile just for fun.

36. Who starts getting into holidays way before they should ? Of course it’s Pavel, since holidays are human creations which don’t really mean things for Inuko. He explains, of course, but it’s hard to make xem understand that there are days to give gifts or celebrate certain people or even stuff, because they don’t see it as important, or don’t always understand all the implications. But once xe get that it means a special feast, xe start tracking the days and getting excited for the food. Xe even tried to make their own, but Pavel had to remind xem that Kiyoshi wouldn’t really find “Kick Ilya day” productive. Interesting, yes. Productive, no.

37. Who initiates the couple selfies ? Pavel. At first, Inuko was surprised, and nipped his arm. Pavel had to explain that it was a Weird Human Thing, and that humans liked to capture other people’s images with their phones. Now Inuko likes selfies, but for the longest time, xe was just “yeah, okay. Do your weird thing and laugh, human”.

38. Who always ends up with too much junk food after grocery shopping ? Both of them because junk food is GOOD !! It’s a bit difficult not to just pile everything in the cart, and check the ingredients to be sure there’s nothing bad for dogs, but they make do. And bring back piles of chips, nibbles, biscuits and the like.

39. Who asks to keep the abandoned kitten/puppy they find in the rain ? Inuko. Pavel argues that they can’t keep every animal they find, they are not pokemons, and they already have many dinosaurs and others in the facility. Inuko then decides to keep them anyway, then give them away in town. Pavel can only surrender.

40. So how many pets, and who rememebers to feed them ? Just a little cat, named Pixel. Who wasn’t really happy at first to share his living quarters with another person, especially one who smells so much of dog. But Inuko is nice, doesn’t try to steal the precious pillows, and gives him small snacks. So he tolerates xem in his space.

41. Who gets babied when they’re sick ? Inuko doesn’t know how to take care of xir mate, or any human for that matter, but it doesn’t mean xe won’t try. Xe will bring xem some Ruud-cooked soup and keep them warm by laying on the bed like a dog-shaped comforter.When Inuko is sick, Pavel doesn’t baby them as much as he holds the scientific hords away from xem. Of course, the soup-bringing, pillow-fluffing part is still present, and Ilya is kept at bay. Perfect.

42. Who brings breakfast to bed ? Pavel. It mostly consists of coffee, though, so Inuko has to go and pick xem own breakfast.

43. Who has sole posession of the T.V. remote ? It’s a huge fight, that can only be resolved by plushies fights.

44. Who comes home drunk at 3am ? Pavel does, sometimes, especially when there are things to celebrate. But to be honest, 3am is his midnight, so it’s not too late for him. Inuko just watches him and wonders why humans are so strange.

45. What do they do when they’re away from each other ? Most of the time, they geek. Inuko plays Pokemon and with xir toys, and Pavel watches videos (but not the ones Scarlett sends him), codes, and roams the internet, looking for hilarious conspiration theories and idiotic, pseudo-scientific articles about Konohana Laboratories. But they spend almost all their time together.

46. What are they afraid of ? Inuko is afraid of everyone wearing a labcoat, and twice as afraid of Ilya. Trauma and bad memories will do that to you. Pavel is mostly afraid of something happening to his computers, and losing huge amounts of data and a lifetime of work. And of course, a mad scientist getting their dirty paws on Inuko.

47. How often do they fight ? Less than you could expect from a cat-loving geek and a dog-person, but more than they would like. Pavel can totally miss the signals that Inuko sends, and not understand when xe is overwhelmed or just in nope mode. And Inuko…. just doesn’t understand sometimes, and since xe has a… very strong personnality, it can lead to a lot of clashes.

48. What would they do if the other one was hurt ? Gods help the one who dared hurting Pavel. They would face the wrath and fangs of Inuko, and no one would live to tell the tale. Then xe would come back, to lay down on the bed, and keep Pavel warm.Pavel wouldn’t fight the person who dared to hurt Inuko, because let’s face it, he’s build like an inflatable ring. But he would sic Klaus on them, and then destroy all their informatic systems. Then he would sit with Inuko and take good care of xem (with mommy’s help of course).

And once they have kids…

49. How many kids ? Only one, one boy. Hanjiro, Han, to be short and geeks. Pavel and Inuko are happy nerd parents. Kiyoshi, Ruud and Sakae are very happy grandparents (Ilya is not admitted, not even as Inuko’s creator). The child is very smart and active, and he’s surrounded by a very loving family (totally doting on him).

50. Who is the stricter parent ? Inuko would be. Something about a pack having to be organized. Pavel doesn’t really have a model of a strict parent. Kiyoshi was pretty indulgent with him (but still had some discipline), and Sakae and Ruud don’t try to raise him (especially not now).

51. Who stays up late helping with homework ? Probably Pavel, because he knows more about homework than Inuko, and maybe he’s a little bit more patient than xem.

52. Who likes to take the family out and for what ? Pavel drags them to science shows, museums, movies… He always opts for slow hours, because he knows people tend to stare at Inuko and it can make xem uncomfortable. Inuko drags them to long walks in the wild. Pavel complains all the way.

#lumeha #pavel konohana #inuko #pavelko #look at what you make me write !#:D #they are weirdly cute #and weird #weirdly weird

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pretendimanauthor · 7 years

Text

Onew/Minho, Promposal, PG

(series)

its.......... PROM SEASON!!! and u kno what that means.............................. (っゝω・)っ～☆onew recruits half the student body 2 prompose 2 minho☆

warnings: food, cursing

“Are you gonna finish those tater tots, or are you gonna just sit there looking sad all lunch period?” Key asks, poking Minho with his pencil. Minho heaves out a sigh, reluctantly stuffing a lukewarm tater tot into his mouth.

“Where could he be? He said we’d eat lunch together today...” Minho grumbles and glances around the cafeteria for any sign of his boyfriend, or his douchey jock friends.

“Maybe he had some sport thing to do,” Key sips his juice box, eyeing Minho condescendingly, before returning to his biology textbook. Minho pokes around at the remainder of his shitty lunch before speaking again.

“Do you think he’s avoiding me?”

“Onew? Avoiding you?,” Key snorts, “The boy can barely keep his hands off you when you’re together, and can barely shut up about you when you’re apart. Honestly, I’m a little relieved that I don’t have to sit through your Lunchtime PDA Fest today.”

“Don’t be a dick, Key. This is serious!” Minho reaches across the table to swat the pencil out of Key’s hand.

“Hey! I’m trying to study here. Just because your boyfriend is missing doesn’t mean I have to fail biology,” Key hisses, but his expression immediately softens once he sees how hopeless Minho looks, “Alright. Fine. If you give me your tater tots, and explain transduction to me, I’ll help you search for Onew for the rest of the lunch period.”

“Deal!” Minho immediately brightens. He deposits his pile of tater tots onto Key’s tray, and is just about to dive into cellular communication when the cafeteria doors slam open. The entire football team, decked out in sweater vests and taped glasses and other Nerd Clothing™, begins to march down the center aisle, passing row upon row of tables filled with confused students, straight towards Minho and Key’s lonely table.

“Please stand up,” the first pair of players to reach them look at Minho expectantly, holding what appears to be a rolled up banner.

“Why- what is this?” Minho gulps, slowly getting to his feet. Key shrugs and furrows his brow at his friend before the football guys unfurl the bright blue paper. Minho giggles, despite how incredibly nervous he feels, as he reads “Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you’re CuTe!”

“Um... thanks?”

The players wordlessly step back, the unrolled banner now on full display for the other students who are craning their necks to catch a glimpse of the scene, allowing more players to approach Minho. His encounters with the rest of the football team occur in a similar fashion; everyone reveals messages like “You’re hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!” and “Do you have 11 protons? Cuz you’re sodium fine!”, all without saying a word. Once everyone is standing at attention, holding their signs, staring at Minho, an awkward silence ensues.

Minho shifts from foot to foot, unsure if he should say something, unsure if he’s allowed to sit back down. He clears his throat, prepared to address the entire student body with some uncomfortable, poorly planned words, when the Bill Nye the Science Guy theme song blares over the loudspeaker, remixed to include Onew’s name.

“What...” Minho throws his hands up in defeat, exasperated by so much confusion in just one lunch period. The entire auditorium erupts, and Minho and Key scramble to stand on their cafeteria benches to see what everyone is freaking out about.

“Is that Onew?” Key snorts.

“I think that’s Onew!” Minho’s jaw drops. His boyfriend has entered the room seated on a chair, raised high above the heads of a crowd of students, decked out in scientist gear, including a mad scientist wig and oversized lab coat, grinning.

The group deposits Onew right in front of Minho, who stands up with a flourish of his labcoat and grabs a bouquet of roses from Taemin beside him.

“There’s no denying that we’ve got great chemistry,” Onew winks, “So, will you go to prom with me?” He extends the bouquet to Minho, and the cafeteria falls silent.

“You’re so ridiculous,” he laughs, blushing under the expectant eyes of the entire student body, “Of course I will.”

“YES!” Onew shouts, smothering Minho with kisses as the rest of the students scream and clap, overjoyed at having the privilege to witness ultra popular, legendary quarterback, Lee Jinki prompose to former nobody, mathlete extraordinaire Choi Minho.

“You guys are so gross,” Key shakes his head, smiling despite himself.

“Oh, we’re just getting started. How do you expect us to campaign for prom kings without showing a little PDA?” Onew smirks, Key gags, and Minho gulps.

“Prom kings?” he furrows his brow, imagining standing on a stage, wearing an uncomfortable tie, forced to make some kind of grand romantic gesture in front of everyone.

“That’s right, babe.”

“Alright, but only because you’ll be wearing a suit,” Minho sighs, “The things I do for you...”

“Great, then there’s no time to lose,” he says, getting that evil glint in his eyes that Minho’s become so accustomed to, and pulls him into a heated kiss. Minho tries to preserve his dignity as a Straight-A, goody-two-shoes student, he really tries, but suddenly his hands are snaking underneath the lab coat and Onew’s tongue is down his throat and the cafeteria explodes once again.

“We’re a shoo-in for sure,” Onew whispers against Minho’s lips, and he hums happily in response. Becoming royalty with this stunning, athletic, attention-whore of a boyfriend doesn’t sound so bad, and besides, prom king might look good on his college application.

#onho #onew #minho #onho fic #shinee fic #pg #high school au #funny #it takes like a week 4 onew 2 get min on board with Operation Prom Kings 2k17 #the operation is mostly like a lot of public makeout sessions #evry1 luvs them but key is jus gagging #p sure my prom was in march so i Think its prom season ?#if not jus pretend

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