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arocrows42 · 21 days

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Ok so bobs burgers did it right

Cartoons. Sitcoms. Whatever you think I'm referring to, they did it right. (See read more for rant) (also I'm never gonna shut up so it's really long and I'm gonna add to it)

Bob's Burgers is an adult swim cartoon sitcom about a family in NJ who owns a burger restaurant. And that's it. That is the whole show. Regardless of what episode you're on, those are constants.

But of adult animation, Bob's Burgers stands out. Unlike most other shows of the genre, Bob's Burgers is about family and compassion. Every single other show in this genre achieves its comedic effect through cruel words or teasing actions. This, when used right, can be okay or even funny. However, the Simpsons, in its popularity, led this to be the industry standard. With the morals at the forefront of the theme, Bob's Burgers is doing something adult animation hasn't done in a long while.

In addition to this, the way Bob's handles topics like queerness, the class system/being poor in the modern era, divorce, sex, or family structures is honestly really interesting.

A family of 5 renting space for their burger place and house wouldn't have a ton of money, especially in today's world. The Belchers are poor, but the writers don't shy away from it. They show this struggle multiple times when Bob or Linda get second jobs (this happens in a couple episodes) to pay for something not typically included in monthly expenses, especially at Christmas.

As for queerness, Bob's Burgers takes a different approach than most. There are uniquely queer characters who are funny, but unlike some other shows, they haven't been the butt of the joke except for once in the first season(kinda). This instance used outdated language (transvestite) because it was 2011 and the writers didn't know any better. Despite that weird interaction, the rest of the episode is really good too and tbh it's one of my faves.

In addition to this(yes, there's more queerness), a lot of people (as far as I can tell and including me) operate under the assumption that bob himself is bisexual. A number of interactions hint at this trait, and while some of the more minute ones could be brushed off as silly goofum puns, the main two are, in my eyes and the eyes of many others, too big to brush off as puns. One such interaction (not in order bc I forgor) is at one Thanksgiving, when bob keeps waking up to a turkey in the toilet and keeps having to buy new ones. At the meat counter, there's a guy there who, at the 3rd (?) visit, says he thinks bob is flirting with him. Bob denies, because he is legitimately just losing turkeys, but the guy still writes his friends number on the receipt bc he "is into sloppy bears" such as bob. At the 4th visit, the guy behind the counter is fully convinced that bob likes him and is pretending to be bad at cooking, and offers to take his break right then and there to have sex with bob. Bob purchases his turkeys, seemingly considering the offer, if he were not married, but eventually shouting "you're out of my league anyway" as he left. The other episode most people use as evidence for Bob's bisexuality is about the time bob and his family get tricked into staying on a cruise boat, with bob being assigned as private chef for the captain who (spoiler alert) is kidnapping crew members. The other chef on the boat has been there forever and has sacrificed quality for speed and quantity. At some point, he locks bob in a freezer (I forgot why tbh) and offers bob freedom if he kisses him. Bob, as before, denies, but, after the chef starts to walk away and leave him in the freezer, he screams, "I'll kiss you!" in an act of desperation, and moments later, "we can do more than kiss!"

OK yeah, this all probably sounds dumb right now but i came here for a hot take not a good or well formed take. The creators/writers of bobs burgers did not shy away from the gay, making headcanons like trans/queer gene look really quite realistic for the future. As a show that has kid characters and mainly caters to middle aged audiences, it kinda is a necessary visibility ao that these middle aged people can take example from this well formed family and expose their kids to the world similarly. At Tina's 13th birthday party, half the guests were sex workers (not made clear in the show, but these perople were either trans or crossdressers or both).

I think, based on experience, that something like this could be a good introduction for these audiences or for them to bring to their own kids. Generally, people of that generation were brought up by more closed minded/less accepting (generally) parents, so visible and plainclothes representation can inform a lot for them. As a queer youth who watches Bob with my dad, I would say that it strikes a good balance for peak enjoyability for all audiences, regardless of age.

Ok so switching gears! The concert of family in animated shows is distorted (as mentioned earlier). However, Bob's Burgers did it right. That's like, the point of this post. Linda and Bob are a middle aged couple who have been married for a couple a decades, probably. However, love is not lost between the two! They're still two passionate, loving, and sexually active spouses! Very often, the belcher adults go out on date nights or spend time with each other at home while the kids are out. They care about each other and enjoy each other's company! This is in stark contrast to other relationships in TV today, as the belcher couple offers a hope for marriage and represents it as an interesting path in life rather than a necessity and burden!

As for the kids, the belchers are realistic yet again! Tina is a 13 year old girl who acts like it! She likes to look at teen boy's butts and she love horses and writing "erotic friend fiction" (short stories of her friends and her where she makes out with her crush)(usually with zombies, too). Tina is a young teen who, though not physically or academically talented, enjoys life through her writing and imagination! She can be jealous of her friends or siblings sometimes, but that's how you are when you're 13! She takes the appropriate older sister role and doesn't really act or look or understand any older than she actually is! Gene is an 11 year old who loves music and his Casio keyboard! He adores his mother and getting into hijinks with his younger sis or friends! While not a big fan of school or physical activity, Gene tries to make every boring task or activity fun and interesting! Gene is enthusiastic and supportive of his family, but develops a sense of responsibility and morality as he starts to mature into tweenhood and tell right from wrong. Lousie is a 9 year old girl, most characterized by her pink bunny ears and killer personality! She's a bit more aged than some of her 9 year old peers, but mainly as a reflexive way to fit in with her siblings'older friends(I assume), and at her core, Louise still has the soul of a child. She's curious and adventurous and wants to take on more responsibility like her siblings, though she tries to hide it. Louise's main conflicts are with the school guidance counselor, Mr frond, but mainly for her victimless pranks and unwillingness to participate in the school system that bores her. In the belcher kids, I look back and see myself as a kid! I was unathletic and bored and musically interested! I liked to write and be responsible like my older sister and make life more interesting! The Belcher family's interactions within their family, to friends, to extended family, and to strangers are reminiscent of real families and real people their age!

I'm gonna keep updating this like, a lot

#my posst #long post #bob's burgers #im also ignoring the fact that i only listen to the bob burger soundtrack ond only watch stuff related to it #im not obsessed i swear

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strangcbchavior · 10 months

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( michael cimino / 23 / cis man / he/him ) — did you see HOPE'S MERCER'S BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER, CHASEN KING-REYES, wandering around the mercer hollow today? i heard around town that the BIKE MECHANIC/STUDENT is QUICK-WITTED, and PERTINACIOUS, but also RASH, and CAGEY. people say that they remind them of THE SOFT FLUTTER OF TURNING PAGES, RUNNING RED LIGHTS, and BATTERED LEATHER JACKETS, but how well can you ever really know someone in mercer hollow? ( jay / 26 / mst / she/her)

✧*･ﾟ𝒃𝒊𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒚

up until he was eight, chasen was cj king. the only people that were ever allowed to call him that were his parents: marian and waylon king. his mom was a physics teacher at the high school two blocks away from their cute, little two-story house in the suburbs. his father owned a landscaping company and planted the azalea bushes underneath the tree house he built with chasen the summer he turned six. it was pretty close to perfect—and then his parents died in a car crash.

the only family he had left was his grandma with early-onset dementia and his uncle with a drinking problem, so he went into the oregeon foster care system. after bouncing around from home to home for a few years ( no family waned a sullen selective-mute who liked percy shelley and edgar allen poe for long ), chasen was dumped into the place for all the old and unwanted kids like him: a group home. he learned pretty quickly that you couldn’t be the kid with the extensive poetry collection in a group home—and you couldn’t cry, not even quietly into your pillow at night. chasen wasn’t interested in being anywhere in the food chain, but he wasn’t going to be the kid who got pushed around, so he laid a kid out with a punch to the gut on his third day there and kicked him until he stopped smirking. he lost his privileges for a month, but it was worth it to be left alone.

when he was fifteen, a strange lady showed up at the home with an even stranger man. apparently, his father wasn't his father. trippy. looking back, it was kind of obvious. people always asked the white couple where they adopted their brown son from. but his dad was his dad, and mr. reyes was just a rich guy who his uncle tried to extort. for a long time, chasen wished that mr. reyes would've just payed his uncle off and left him alone, but things got better slowly. his siblings were...weird, but his dad ended up being kind of cool.

chasen did very well in school, despite transferring so often as a kid. his only friends were books, and he liked it that way. he got a full-ride to liberty after graduating first in his class, and he never looked back.

thanks to his mom, chasen had an early relationship with science. he liked working with his hands and figuring out how to take things apart and put them back together again. it was only natural that he went into mechanical engineering. he started fixing bikes at the local garage for spare change while he worked on getting his masters.

✧*･ﾟ𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕

character inspo: ron swanson ( parks and rec ), oscar martinez ( the office ), jason todd ( dc comics ), jess mariano ( gilmore girls ), buttercup ( powerpuff girls ), bob belcher ( bob’s burgers ), louise belcher ( bob's burgers )

chasen likes to keep to himself. if you don’t bother him, he has no reason to bother you, but if you poke the bear...watch out.

he has a quick-temper, but he always tries to punch a wall instead of a person lmao. progress is progress, okay.

he’s usually pretty quiet, and he unfortunately ( or fortunately in his opinion ) has resting bitch face. when he does speak, he is usually being sarcastic or deadpan. def not a people-person, but he’s weirdly good with kids and great with animals bc they lack any pretense lmao.

is a little shit around people he knows well. classic baby of the family shit.

loves poetry and literature ( the romantic, victorian, and modern eras, specifically ), but he doesn’t talk about that lmao. he’s a lot more likely to talk about the cars he restores in his spare time or video games.

not a sports person, but he works out religiously for “health reasons.”

he hates being in charge, but he also hates being told what to do. his ideal work environment is being given a task and a deadline to complete it by without any instructions he needs to follow lmao. he’ll get it done, but he’ll do it his way.

he’s used to people having a certain perception about him, so he usually keeps the smart thing to himself. bc. no one expects anything from an idiot with anger management issues.

oh yeah. he has major anger management issues. in fact, he’s currently IN anger management rn for punching a douche at his dad's last gala

has a v ‘eat the rich’ attitude from growing up lower working class, but now he is rich, so. it's weird. he doesn't like it lmao.

he as a not-so secret soft side if you ever see him with kids or animals.

most of his bluster is a giant show for the people around him, and that’s why it’s so obnoxiously loud.

#mhintro

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magicalgirllove92 · 11 months

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The show called LA Brea. The synopsis was an sinkhole that swallow up Los Angeles sending strangers including an mother and son back in to prehistoric times. Left alone is an very scared teenage daughter who lost her leg due to scary accident is disabled with mechanical leg is in dire need of an assistance by her father who suffered from psychic hallucinations due to drinking and an troubled past who is unlikely to solve a mystery with his best friend. Unfortunately, after the family is reunited, the narcissistic wife Eve Harris played by FX's critical acclaimed hit neo-western action drama Justified actress Natalie Zea is sleeping with her former husband Gavin played by BBC's Merlin 2008 actor Eoin Mackin's best friend the evilish betrayer Captain Levi Delgado played by The Princess and the Barrio Boy actor Nicholas Gonzalez. Still unfortunately, the group includes 3 kids played by TikToker Jack Martin, disabled model Zyra Gorecki and young actress Veronica St. Clair who has an career downgraded era from Golden Globe-winning miniseries Unbelievable to terrible Jurassic Park saga ripoff struggles to go back to their own time because of arguing like immature teenagers, being slaves by The Others ripoff, Exiles led by the late Jason Momora wannabe Tamaart, getting run-in with disastrous situations including poorly rendered CGI prehistoric animals and dinosaurs and mysterious evil woman and James Harris played by Australia's longest running soap Neighbours actor Jonno Roberts' personal minion named Kiera played by the actual good actress Simone McAcully. In the worst twist during season 2, the sinkhole that sending The Harris Family, Levi, Riley, her dad Dr. Sam Medez played by Selena and Bad Boys 2 actor Jon Seda and their friends to prehistoric times were responsibled by the evil group The Lazarus Project from 2076 who are working to find the way to deal with their time period's depleted resources as well as how to master the de-extinction. The Lazarus Project is headed by James and Kiera with the assistance by Tamaart and "the liar" Aaron. Unfortunately, the ratings of season 1 was the best, even the best written comedies Abbott Elementary and Ghosts USA is getting clobbered by Twilight Saga and Riverdale meets Jurassic Park movies soap opera by the season's end. However, during last year's Halloween week, 2nd season of La Brea was brutally beaten by an much better written teen drama All American from The CW and The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XXXIII with 2 hit segments the Death Note anime parody Death Tome and WestWorld parody SimpsonsWorld with Jon Roberts as Linda Belcher from Bob's Burgers makes a cameo towards the end of the segment and the episode. This could send LA Brea fans to panic while its haters is satisfied, not even the show is safe from YouTube podcast video and the entertaintment reviews for "problematic, Jurassic Park and Days in Our Lives ripoff, an actual toxic "woke", sending a wrong messages to teenagers and sending Latino people and people dealing with anxiety issues into stereotypes." Thankfully, the show was delayed until next year, fell victim to current WGA writer's strike despite they're still filming "the final season" in Australia. If the the final season comes within the first weeks of January, don't watch or watch in case of curiosity or cringe. This is why NBC's infamously Jurassic World/Lost Mashup ripoff telenovela LA Brea is an very bad show. Next time, I'm tackle the hunks of Jurassic Park movies and it's called Jurassic Heartthrobs.

#labrea #nbc #infamous #jurassic world #jurassic park #countdown to month of Jurassic Park 30th anniversary

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eauderesistnce · 3 years

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back at it with idiot #2

:･ﾟ✧ * ˏˋ / ( zethpan smith-gneist, 24, male, he&him ) * hey, i’m looking for the office of theodore king. they’re the product engineer who’s known around the office as the isolato, if that helps? not to be a gossip, but i’ve heard that they’re clever but volatile, is that true? i also heard that he was the one who threw a computer threw his office window and is in court-mandated anger management therapy. anyways, here’s the coffee they ordered. (jacey, 24, she&her, mst)

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕡𝕠 !!

ron swanson (parks and rec), oscar martinez (the office), jason todd (dc comics), jess mariano (gilmore girls), buttercup (powerpuff girls), harry potter (hp), rosa diaz (b 99), bob belcher (bob’s burgers)

𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 !!

up until he was eight, theo was teddy king. the only one allowed to call him that were his parents: marian and waylon king. his mom was a physics teacher at the high school two blocks away from their cute, little two-story house in the suburbs. his father owned a landscaping company and planted the azalea bushes underneath the tree house he built with theo the summer he turned six. it was pretty close to perfect––and then his parents died in a car crash.

the only family he had was his grandma with early-onset dementia and his uncle with an alcohol problem, so he went into the california foster care system. after bouncing around from home to home for a few years (no family waned a sullen selective-mute who liked percy shelley and edgar allen poe for long), theo was dumped into the place for all the old and unwanted kids like him: a group home. he learned pretty quickly that you couldn’t be the kid with the extensive poetry collection in a group home–and you couldn’t cry, not even quietly into your pillow at night. kids who cried were at the bottom of the pack. theo wasn’t interested in being anywhere in the food chain, but he wasn’t going to be the kid who got pushed around, so he laid a kid out with a punch to the gut on his third day there and kicked him until he stopped smirking. he lost his privileges for a month, but it was worth it to be left alone.

he did very well in school, despite transferring so often as a kid. his only friends were books, and he liked it that way. he got a full-ride to mit after graduation first in his class, and he never looked back at the west coast.

thanks to his mom, theo had an early relationship with science. he liked working with his hands and figuring out how to take things apart and put them back together again. it was only natural that he went into mechanical engineering. after getting his degree from mit, he got a job as an engineer for the product development team at masters, and the rest is yet to come.

𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 !!

theo likes to keep to himself. if you don’t bother him, he has no reason to bother you, but if you poke the bear...watch out.

he has a quick-temper, but he always tries to punch a wall instead of a person lmao. progress is progress, okay.

he’s usually pretty quiet, and he unfortunately (( or fortunately in his opinion )) has resting bitch face. when he does speak, he is usually being sarcastic or deadpan. def not a people-person, but he’s weirdly good with kids and great with animals bc they lack any pretense lmao.

loves poetry and literature (( the romantic, victorian, and modern eras, specifically )), but he doesn’t talk about that lmao. he’s a lot more likely to talk about the cars he restores in his spare time or video games.

not a sports person, but he works out religiously for “health reasons.”

he has literally zero social media accounts other than a twitter account that’s barely used.

𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 !!

best friends: ( m, f, nb ), childhood friends: ( m, f, nb ), roommates: ( m, f, nb ), fwb: (m, f, nb), casual hookup ( m, f, nb), exes: ( m, f, nb )

all the connections tbh. hmu or like this and i’ll hit you up !!

#masters.intro

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Top 12 Christmas Episodes!

Merry Christmas Eve Everybody! We’ve reached the end of my christmas reivews and what not on this blog.

But as a wise barrel chested canadian man once said, I fucking love christmas, So if i’m finishing up the holiday on my blog I want to go big and stay home. So in honor of the holiday, my memories of it and just how GREAT it makes me feel i’m counting down my top 12 christmas specials! After last year’s worst of list I really wanted to do the oppsiite.. but it was naturally a lot harder. Shows usually put a LOT of effort into their christmas outings, even the ones who do so once a year, so the good FAR FAR OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. To show the contrast I could only find like.. 8 I was comfortable with putting on the worst list and even some of them aren’t that bad just not good. With the best of list? I had over 60 considered and even once I started narrowing down.. it was still around 30 or 40 REALLY GOOD specials I had to work down into this list. It took a lot of work and up to the last one it was really HARD to cut it down this far. But this is the best of the best of the best of the best of the.. you get the bit. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and this review was already supposed to come out on christmas eve, so, since I won’t be able to use this for another year...

Er. Top 12 Christmas Specials.

12. Merry Christmas Johnny Rose (Schitt’s Creek) So I finally watched all of Schitt’s Creek this year.. and i’m kicking myself for not powering through it’s terrible starting decent ending first season earlier because the show is easly one of the best comedies of the last decade and rightly earned it’s emmy sweep this year. Heartfelt, hilarious, and starring some of the best names old and new in comedy, the show is really great and I recommend checking it out.. just again be aware the first few episodes are not very good and if it wasn’t vital to the rest of the show story wise, i’d just recommend skippping season 1. While the characters minus patriach Johnny are insuferable at first... it’s their growing from self absorbed assholes to still self abosrbed but really good and decent people that is the beating heart of the show. And no where more is this heart on the show’s sleve than at christmas time as this episode is baked in just how far our cast have come.

The episode centers on Johnny Rose, played by Eugene Freaking Levy who co created the show with his equally talented son Dan who desrves the lion’s share of the credit for the show’s upturn in quality. Since the Roses used to have big lavish christmas parties once a year, Johnny decides to throw the equilvent of what they can do on a budget at the Motel they all live in. But his family all has other plans with daughter Alexis, now happily with Ted again, meeting his friends for the first time, son David, played by Dan Levy, busy at his store with his partner, in both senses, patrick and his wife Moira having a performance with her acapella group. At first it just comes off as something typical of johnny: Something well meaning and what not but ultimatley just not something his family is into or that he planend well for.

It’s only when Johnny finds himself alone at the local diner with Moira coming to see him we find out why he’s REALLY doing this: the old lavish parties, which we see one of at the start.. ultimately ended up with him alone, sad and everyone off to their own corners. WIth the family having actually come together over the past 4 seasons, Johny simply wanted to celebrate that and says such in one of the best moments in the entire show and with one hell of a line.

"I just thought, in spite of all the hardship, we found ourselves coming together, the kids, you and me, as a family. And it just seemed like the perfect day to celebrate that. The perfect day for a Rose Family Christmas Party." But Moira has already taken care of it and thus takes JOhnny home to find all their friends and the rest of the family gathered, wtih the Jazzagals serandading eveyrone with a beautiful rendition of silent night. It’s just a warm, well done character piece that really fits the holiday while also really cementing what the show had become: a show not afraid to make dirty jokes or humilatie it’s cast but one that has a true sweetness to it. It’s only that the first half’s jokes don’t quite pop all that well and feel a bit at johnny’s expense that holds it back. Otherwise this is one i’ll be coming back to every year.

11. Father of the Bob (Bob’s Burgers) Bob’s Burgers is a damn great show i’m season’s behind on. Warm, charming, weird and with an expansive side cast played by a whos who of whose in comedy today. It’s a damn fine show and i’m happy it seems to have manatained it’s quality long after the simpsons and family guy lost theirs. And the show really loves christmas.. and halloween.. and valentine’s day.. and thanksgiving. Oh god does it love thanksgiving. Point is, the shows good at holiday episodes and loves doin em and has produced some stellar ones and I had a lot to pick from here.. but I ended up going with my gut and my personal faviorite. It’s not the most christmasy despite the trappings, but the character work is just too good to leave it out in the cold. It’s Christmas Eve and the Belcher’s are visiting Bob’s Dad. As you can tell by the fact the most we’ve seen of him is a picture of his restraunt, big bob’s diner in the belcher’s living room and a flashback where he told bob to work instead of play as a kid that set off an episode’s plot, they don’t have the best relationship. Bob has a firm rule about not spending more than 15 minutes with his dad, as that’s the point they run out of things to talk about and his dad starts getting overcrytical and making jabs at bob’s life and restraunt. Linda, being Linda, decides to meddle and when she finds out Big Bob’s short order cook is missing, has our Bob fill in. But as we see in flash backs it’s not THAT easy to repair things, as there’s a long, bitter history between the two: When a youngbob made his first unique burger and served it to a customer, his dad threw it out without even letting anyone taste it. He then offered bob a partnership when bob was a young man but Bob snapped at Big Bob in front of his friends and left to make burgers his own way, leading to where we are now. And honestly i’ts the perfect origin story for Bob and adds a lot of shades to his character. He’s obessed with the restraunt not just because he genuinely loves cooking but because it’s HIS. His place, to create creative burgers, his family and his regulars. It’s his corner of the sky. It makes the restraunt’s existance and surivvial that much more heartwarming to know the meaning behind it.

Naturally things end up blowing up with Bob pointedly serving the burger to make a point and Big bob walking out angrily and sadly. It takes bob’s gift from the kids, who had their own neat subplot of making gifts for bob in the basement, a snowglobe wrapped in newspaper.. to find out hsi dad kept the newspaper with the review of his first restraunt and kept ALL reviews of Bob’s Burgers. Despite being a stone faced critical ass on the outside, Big BOb STILl cared.. and bob relizes he needs to make amends and actually make an effort instead of just avoiding his dad or gettin gback at him. And through the power of gay club next door line dancing, and nick offerman whose a wonderful guest star here, the two reconcile with Bob admitting he shouldn’t of humilatied his dad even if he had to go his own way, and Big Bob admitting he’s hard to work with, the loss of his wife hit him hard, and he was a bit too much. The two hug, and it’s genuinely just a good, well done story of father and son that somehow gives even more dimension to Bob, an already pretty damn fleshed out character. Just a really great episode whose holiday timing makes it better.. though not being AS much a holiday episode as a really good bob’s burgers that’s enhanced by it is why this one’s so low. Next!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (MST3K) I”m honestly surpised i’ts taken me THIS long to get to something MST3K related. I’ve loved the show since high school, first exposed to it thanks to a dvd from the library and continuing from there to present day. I love the show’s combination of riff’s on perfectly cheesy movie and fun skits with really good puppets especially for the budget. It’s just good comfort food in show form and no where is comfort food more welcome than christmas, and each era of MST3K, so far hopefully the show will come back again eventually, has had i’ts own damn good christmas special, with this being my faviorite out of the three.

The other two are good: ironically I have a poster for the santa claus over my computer, or rather crow and tom as santa and pitch aka satan respectively. Yes really, that’s the premise. IT is as awesome and batshit insane as it sounds. Point is I like that one and year without a santa claus, this one just has more personal warmth to me. I jus tlove the holiday feeling of joel and the bots readying for christmas in the host segments. It just feels like christmas and it’s wonderful to see the bots act like kids. That being said.. it’s still also fucking hilaroius, with the mad’s hilariously petty wish squisher, a device that turns good gifts into socks and other unwanted presents, the best Crow T Robot quote of all time as he gives joel his santa wish

And of course, one of the best and most patently insane christmas songs ever: Have Yourself a Patrick Swayze christmas, which has become oddly sweet after his death and got me to watch road house for the first time last year... and it’s as awesome and wonderfully rediclous as this song inspiried by it and even better once you get the refrences

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But while the host segments are what push this film into the list, the movie is still a delightful bit of 60′s cheese as, to restore their children to being children, a couple of martians kidnap santa to bring christmas to mars. Fights iwth robots, an asshole martian and an obnoxious sidekick named droppo, yes really, insue. IT’s just some fun cheese for the holiday and a staple of my holidays.

9. The Three Wise Men (Letterkenny) It’s no secret Letterkenny has quickly become one of my faviorite shows. After watching it last January, it’s become part of my being and one of my go too feel good shows, a funny as hell, uniquely weird slice of life show set in rural canada. While like it’s fellow recent legend of canadian television Schitt’s creek it’s first season CAN be a bit rough.. but it’s not as rough and getting through it is worht it as the show immiedatly picked up and became one of the funniest things to ever exist. It’s also uniquely tied to christmas as every year a season of the show has dropped on that day on it’s home streamer Crave TV in canada, and on boxing day here in the us. So it’s only fitting the show also has a REALLY great christmas special.

It’s Christmas eve and our heroes the hicks, are having a christmas party. For the uniniated the hick’s aren’t really all that “hick” ish just hardworking farmers who still accept everybody and work damn hard. Leading man, terse talker and certified badass Wayne is suprisingly really into christmas, as he spent pretty much every holiday spouting out inacuracies about it but this day? He genuienly enjoys, even insiting on awful holiday drinks only and a midnight toast, the titular three wiseman (Canadian, irish and American Whiskeys, one shot of each). “It’s tradition”. And thanks to tradition we get the main gag of the episode: most of the episode is wayne calling in various members of the town, most of whom he dosen’t like very much and some who deeply annoy him, to give them presents. And while i’ve admitted to being a guy who dosen’t like a plot that basically repeats itslef.. it works here.. mostly because while the setup is the same, each member provides something new and hilarious: while it starts innocently enough with Bonnie Mcmurray, local fanservice, nice lady and fangirl of wayne, getting a camera and offering to be an elf, an offer wayne is forced to take up, it soon becomes a parade of weirdness and bullshit Wayne really dosen’t want to put up with and that really makes me laugh hard: Local loveable sex maniac and bar owner Gail goes on for a good minute about her sexual antics with Wayne’s beloved departed uncle eddie after Wayne gives him a picture of the guy, Glenn, another of wayn’es unwanted admirers and local pastor, obsesses over a christmas themed digeredoo, local druggies and emos the skids intitally refuse to open their gift out of prinicpal until wayne simply asks “What if theres drugs in it” (It’s insted vitamin d), the local hockey coach sings a hilarious and gloriously cringe song about having sex with his wife when they were alive and the hockey players make wayne uncomfortable both by crying a bit. Also tanis gets an apron.

But even if the reactions horrify or piss off our hero into needing his elf’s help, the heart is in the fact that despite hating most of these people, he still got them a gift and one that’s hearfelt and well meaning. And naturally the sweetest is saved for his family of choice with the hicks: Squirrely Dan gets a pencil case for his oft talked about women’s studies class, Dary gets some clonge since he wears his barn clothes everywhere, and Katy gets an obscure korean christmas movie since her subplot that episode had been spent trying to get a christmas movie going, only for everyone to pick it apart: from the racisim of santa and co towards rudolph to pointing out how profoundly fucked up the premise of the santa claus is (including the fact various serial killers could’ve gotten the suit), which I agree with, it’s just a sweet gesture that shows how well he knows his friend. Overall it’s just a fun hangout of an episode that feels like a real christmas party and in these troubling times we could all use that. Now let’s all have a spit.

8. The Feast of Alvis (Sealab 2021) Another Christmas staple for me.. and a gloriously strange one at that. This time we’re checking under the sea with Sealab 2021, one of the earliest adult swim shows and the blueprint for the abriged series format, it took a dry hannah barbara show about an underwater research station and remixed it into the antics of a bunch of idiots and lunatatics throughuly unequipped for the task. Except Dr. Quinn, the only sane person aboard.. most of the time. It was comedy gold courtsey of Adam Reed, creator of the later Frisky Dingo, a throughly underated show, and Archer, which is like Frisky Dingo but refined into it’s truest and most sucessful form. It was magical and just talking about it makes me want to talk about it again at some point, probably in a best of list. So naturally this madcap energy was perfect for the holidays. Originally the crew planned to use ACTUAL religions for this, but were forced by network to change it.. which ended up being one of those cases where the network ended up actually making the right call as the creators instead created thinly veiled substute for the various religions... and centered it around Alavanism, which is christianity.. but if christ was instead born in the us at some point, and instead of being a pacifist, was a drunken beligernt gun loving redneck who shot a guy in the face, has “vengance is mine” as one of his quotes (from said face shooting) and still had pomp and circumstance as part of his holiday. Helping this though is our Alvian for the evening is Captain Murphy, the series best character and often the center of it’s best moments, played by the wonderful and sadly late Harry Goz, a half crazed half chidlish cloud cuckoolander who often comes off like a demanding child in an old man’s body. So naturally this holiday is for him and even more naturally he’s holding a massive alvis day cermeony that’s as batshit as he and his religion are in the main deck: he’s got buffalo, a buffet that’s deeply unsanitary, and a hallogen light mimickign the alvistide star that he wants to plop a baby under. Naturally no one else is happy about this. Well Stormy, local hilarious dumbass, is as the only other alvian on board for this, and a general sucker for dumb shenanigans but he’s so plastared he’s even less coherent than usual and can mostly muster the desire to kick something’s ass or a weak “shut up” Most of all Quinn and his girlfriend debbie, who point out religious tolerance is a part of the sealab charter and that this kind of grotesuqe celebration really isn’t in season. I’ts also a nice dig at “War on Christmas Assholes”, long before that was as big a problem with Muprhy very much being the asshole and his cleebration rapidly crumbling. He also attempts to fire Sparks for being a wiccan stand in so yeah he deserves it. It’s all capped in Muprhy getting visted by a drunken halucination of his lord. All in all easily one of the best and most insane christmas specials ever put to film. If you have HBO Max watch it today or tommorow you will NOT regret it.

7. Arnold’s Christmas (Hey Arnold) A classic of my childhood, Hey Arnold is one of the best animated shows period. It’s something i’m not shy about saying, I bleivie I said it in my thanksgiving list and i’ll say it quite a bit. It’s not PERFECT, it has it’s flaws.. but it’s still damn good and the golden standard for slice of life shows.

This episode naturally is one of it’s best and, while I didn’t catch as a kid the signifigance or what this was about, touches on of all things the vietnam war and the children who were helicoptered out. In a heart destroying story, Mr. Winn, one of Arnold’s boardinghousemates, reveals he has a daughter he has no idea where she is as to give her a better life, he made sure she got on one of those helicopters as an infant. While he was able to immigrate later, he never found her. Arnold being our own personal jesus, refuses to let this stand and goes out of his way to figure it out and goes on a quest that seemingly ends in failure. It falls on Helga to save the day as Helga actually gets what she wanted from her parents, a pair of nice boots, and gets the rare moment where they actually acknoledge her.. but loving arnold and seeing the noblility in his quest.. she gives it up. Just to make someone elses’ dream come true. He may never know who did it and tha’ts okay. An utterly heartwarming and heartbreaking episode. Nuff said.

6. Santa Claus is Comin To Town Speaking of classics this is how you do a santa origin story. Not the first or last i’d see, and we’ll get to one of those in a moment. While i’m not a huge fan of Rankin Bass’ other big hit with Rudolph, this one really hits the spot for me and is only this low because it’s pacing is really slow at points. Otherwise this special is near flawless, looks good and holds up today. As I said this is a good Year One for santa establishing how he became immortal, how he met the elves, he was raised by them, how he started giving out toys, how he met mrs claus you know all the stuff you’d ask about. To me what really sells it the best though is Mickey Rooney as Santa. While I had no idea who played him till literally writing this article in my mind his earnesness, kindness and genuine nature just.. fit the old elf to me even as a young man and everything from his humble beginings to his wanting to help children just out of kindness to his teaching an old man to dance to his romance just feels.. genuine and warm like christmas should. It just makes me feel good and like others on this list.. FEELS like christmas if that makes any sense. Not a lot else to say. Burger Meister Meisterburger isn’t the best vilian, but it was the early 70′s and we weren’t quite to diamond levels of complex interesting villians just yet so fair enough. Baiscally I don’t have a TON to say about this special in short, I may review it next year, we’ll see, but it’s really good, really fun and sometimes simple just works I guess? Speaking of stop motion..

5. Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas (Community) I love a good sitcom. I haven’t shared that love enough on here, I should try and change that at some point, but I do, as a fourth of this list should make crystal clear. So while sadly some of my faviorites like Brooklyn Nine Nine, Parks and Rec and Roseanne didn’t make the cut, Community thankfully did. Community is a show that’s really damn good and had THREE awesome Christmas episodes. All three, all winners and all in contention for some time. Regional Holiday music just barely didn’t make the cut. But ultimately I went with the best of the best, the most creative, most character driven, and most intresting. And the one that in Community’s traditional style, decided to take a spin on an old genre. In this case Abed, the study groups resident pop culture junkie, guy who thinks in tropes and future Huey Duck, is seeing everything in stop motion and may get thrown out of school as a result. With his friends deeply worried, they turn to Greendale’s local psychologist and british areshole Professor Duncan, played by my spirtual father John Oliver. ALL HAIL THIS MAN

Duncan takes the two into Abed’s fantasy and thus into a rankin bass special where Abed slowly weeds out his friends and tries to get rid of Duncan, whose naturally only intrested in proving a case. It’s a fun, chaotic ride including christmas pterodactyls, and the cast all in bizzare forms based on what Abed thinks of htem. it’s really damn creative and beauitfully animated at that. Naturally like most of these what clinches it is the heart and soul. We find out towards the end WHy this happened: Abed’s mom is spending christmas with her new family instead of him and it’s broken him to not be able to watch specials like they do> Thus the group rally behind their friend, beat duncan in a wonderful christmas number and watch specials with their buddy, as the weird ass family some of whom have or will make out, they are.

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas With my love of comic strips and sentiment, it should suprise absolutely no one this is on here. I love peanuts and have only grown to love it more over hte years for it’s mealancholy, finely constructed cast and weird bits people forget about like Snoopy’s disco phase, that really damn good arc where his house burned down, his brother stealing his fiance only to have her stolen from him, the fact Lucy threw Linus out once, that peppermint patty was once held back a grade and her snores took her place at her desk, the fact there was a character named 5, Charlie Brown and Linus’ friend roy who introduced peppermint patty to the cast, the fact a character named crybaby boobie exists, the fact there are specials devoted to a pastiche of call of the wild, a friend of linus’ getting cancer, and Flashbeagle. Just flashbeagle.

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It is glorious. And I really need to add that to my review queue.. maybe for late january. Seriously, tis glorious. And I OWN this one. So yeah. What were we talking about? Oh yes the special that made all the specials, especially flashbeagle, possible: A Charlie Brown Christmas This one has always been part of my life, but even beyond it’s signifigance to me, having grown up with it and grafted it to my soul, it’s just .. good. It has some good commentary on the consumrisim of the holiday with Charlie Brown rightly a bit upset about it and ending up roped into directing a christmas play. Great gags, and charlie brown trying to stick up for a scragly tree no one enlse likes insue. Oh and scripture as this is probably the only overtly religious special on the list. Not that ther’es anything wrong with not being religious and celebrating christmas: i’m not anymore but I still do and while I respect people who celebrate the holiday int he spirit of christ I have none for people who bash anyone who dosen’t just see it religiously and whose over zealous about it. Your just as bad as war on christmas people and you should feel bad. But yeah overal it’s just an inconic special whose clunkyness in production and audio just adds some charm to it. It shows it’s age.. but only in the animation and production values, which is just.. charming. It’s message is timeless, it’s characterization is perfect as you’d expect from peanuts in it’s prime, and i’ts ending is truly heartmelting. If you’ve never seen this one.. just go do that. I can wait.

3. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales) I”ll be brief on this one as, since it only aired a few weeks ago, i’ve already done a full review on it. But I will justify why such a recent special is this high up: because it’s just that good. It may of JUST been aired, but it’s as good as anything else here and age dosen’t matter. Quality does. There will likely be future specials worth this list i’m sure but for this moment in time this one earns it. It has Santa perfectly charactrized and tells an utterly heartrending story of friendship that ends up ending simply because the two are moving in opposite directions and of Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas. Not thorugh the ghosts, they already brilliantly messed with that one. It’s just really fantastic, gets the christmas spriit perfectly and uses the characters just as flawlessly. I will defintely be watching this one every year. Just a warm, creative, funny as hell special.

2. Comfort and Joy (Justice League) Speaking of reviews I held off reviews of my final two so I could save more thoughts here. I probably still will review them eventually, especially this one, I just felt i’d be repeating myself or have to be brief like the last one. But yeah this one slaps. The Justice League cartoon is easily one of the best superhero cartoons, if not superhero properties, period. Taking the base already built in from the previous three dcau cartoons, this one builds out the world and expands it , and introduced a young me to my lifelong loves of Martian Manhunter, The Flash and especailly the green lanterns with John Stewarts badass reciting of the oath easily etched in my brain. The only reason he isn’t my faviorite lantern is because mogo exists.. aka the lantern that is a living planet.

You can see why. But yeah Jon stuck in my mind. So it’s probably no suprise that the christmas special heavily featuring all three. It’s Christmas Time and after the league stops it’s usual disaster, they head off for their usual holiday activities. Batman and Wonder Woman are missing, but it’s fine. While I love both, especailly DCAU Batman, the episode is probably better off not trying to shove them in there just for the sake of it. One of the show’s greatest strength’s was character ballance, not forcing EVERY member of the big 7 into every episode and just using whose needed and shuffling them in and out FAR BETTER than say, Ducktales. Point is this, much like being loved by anyone, was not unusual and it makes the episode tighter. Even more so since this is the ONLY half hour episode in the first two seasons, the rest are basically hour long episodes split into two parters, though still paced for being two episodes so it’s good.. and three movie length three parters for the premire, and the season finales. Fun Fact: As a kid I missed starcrossed and thus had to find out second hand, and barely at that, why hawkgirl was gone at the start of unlimited. I still have not seen it. I will correct this eventually. It was a diffrent time.

So yeah this episode not only has a main character cast of 6, with 3 other major supporting characters, but is handily split into three amazing plot lines. The first has Green Lantern try to teach Hawkgirl how to have christmas fun by playing on a snowy world, while Hawkgirl takes him to a bar to show how she celebrates.. i.e. getting hammered and starting a fight. Nanananana, she’s gonna start a fight. It’s a fun really sweet segment, and some nice ship tease between the two. The other two though are what make this special.. not that the first one is bad these two are just really inspiried for the characters involved: For the Flash, who in this series is both Wally and a bit of a smug quipster.. we see beneath the ego and flirting he’s really a sweet, caring guy and spends his christmas finding a toy for the orphans in this case a rapping duck.

Not QUITE as embarassing btu close. He runs into the Ultra Humanite whose destroying the toys because he hates the comercialism and how it dumbs things down for the kids. Have I mentioned that I love the Ultra Humanite? Because I do.. the animated version. The comics version is REALLY fucking creepy but this version? He’s fucking great, an intellectual whose a formidable threat.. and honestly sympathetic. His motive here, while misguided, is well meaning and his price for selling out the injustice gang and going back to jail quitely? one of the best gags in human history. Getting PBS to say “This program was supported by viewers like you.. and the ultra humanite” He’s just awesome and i’ts a shame he never returned for unlimited. His comic version, while not BAD is just.. not NEARLY as intresting or deep and I wish the comics would have him take after this version. And that depth shows as once he learns what was going on, he willingly helps flash and simply reprograms the duck to recite the nutcracker. It’s a really nice gesture, that flash returns by giving his foe a christmas tree. Really good stuff. And I saved the best for last. Heading home for the holidays, Clark takes Jonn with him since otherwise he’d be stuck at the watchtower and batman was apparnetly “Begging” for duty. Granted one wonders what his surrogate dad and adopted sons think but odds are alfred would just drag them up there anyway no mater how much Dick protested. And of course Alfred has watchtower clearance, he’s alfred: he’s the only one besides Diana looking out for bruce.. and no I don’t buy the bullshit from the batman beyond comics that never happened. And Clark too, this is true... but it takes a village to get bruce to go the fuck to sleep and most of that villiage is alfred. And if your wondering “wait won’t he be in danger”... the only thing that can kill this man is apparently bane. He’s survivied earthquakes, poisonings, turning into a supervillian via radaition induced crazies, yes really, apparently dying leading to the supervillian thing, being stabbed, being shot at, having to help raise damien... my point is the guy’s been through a lot in comics, I doubt the dcau version is any less resilent and god damn I miss this old man. Salute alfred, salute. Where was I oh yeah, Clark insists on taking John home. And it’s stuff like this why I freaking love superman. Many dismiss him as corny, unrelaistic or boring.. all untrue. Sure he’s a boyscout, but he’s meant ot resprsent the best in mankind, what we can truly be powers or no, what we can achieve and the kind of moral, kind person we can be. He’s an inspiration for us all. And this kind of act is what shows that: his response to one of his friends having nowhere to go on christmas and not having been around the holiday? Take him to his house to share in the warmth and love. And Clark’s parents here show WHY he’s the hero he is and why I freaking love them in all flavors.. except Zack Snyder flavor and even then tha’ts only for Pa “Letting people die is the right thing to do now i’m going to throw myself into a tornado to prove that” kent. But it’s christmas so i’m not here to bitch about zack snyder and if you want that in full, you can pay for it. My point is they show, as they should how he became the moral paragon he is: they meet a man from mars, who they’ve never met and their son just invited.. and welcmoe him without a thought. While this isnt’ their first alien obviously, and they say so, it’s still really sweet they just warmly welcome the man in and give him their surrogate daughter/their sons’ biological cousin’s room while sh’es away. Oh Kara’s away conveniently skiing with barbra. Also she lives with them in this continuity. Also maybe that’s where dick is. I dunno, but I hope so. Dickbabs for life.. depending on the continuity. I”m still dick and star for life in the titans cartoon. Point is we get nice of sweet, and hilaroius, holiday stuff: Jonn is suprised to see this side of clark: while he’s always warm and inviting as Clark.. he can also be relaxed, enjoy the holiday and get real spirited. For one day he dosen’t have to be superman. He can just be clark. Evne superman can take a day off.. and he’s superman, he desrves one. Let Bruce and Diana take care of it after they finish marathon sex and Diana finshes with Cheetaah and Maxwell lord. But yeah as I was saying hilarious as we find out clark used to peak and they had to, and still do, line it with lead foil to make sure he can’t peak, and Martha gives John a sweater, saying his company is all they need for a gift and when it’s a bit big he charmingly grows into it. Jonn also walks among the humans a bit and we get a great little bit of him sneaking down a chimney after hearing the thorughts of a girl whose worried santa isn’t real. It’s just all great stuff that cumilates in Jonn joyfully singing a song in his native tounge while stroking Kara’s cat Streaky.. who sadly does not have a cape or super powers in this universe. Yet. Just a really good superhero story, a damn fine christmas story and one of the best episodes of a stellar show that thankfully is still remembered in this new age of heroes.

1. It’s Christmas You Dorks (Harvey Beaks) Yup not probably a lot of people’s first choice but fuck it. I’ve loved this one since i saw it a few years ago shorlty after the series ended, having grown far behind and caught up just as it was ending... and regretted it as Harvey Beaks is easily one of my faviorite shows from the wall to wall hit parade that was the 2010′s. It’s charming, hilaroius, heartfelt, and creative.. and really weird if not as weird as CH Greenblaht’s previous show chowder.. but still weird enough.Thankfully Big City Greens is carying the banner for this kind of show, as is Craig of the Creek, so the kind of gentle, slice of life stuff hasn’t gone away, but this show was still it’s own thing and i’m sad it’s gone. But while it was here it was spectacular and this is one of the best of em if not the best. And naturally for a show like this it has a neat approach: The episode is dialouge free, only having some singing in the last act and that’s diagetic, the characters singing a christmas song. We’ll get to that. This isn’t the FIRST silent christmas special i’ve seen, Courage the Cowardly dog did it’s own take on the nutcracker, but it’s still the best. And given Courage the Cowardly Dog is one of my faviorite shows, that’s high praise. Each segment is charming, unique, and well done.

As for what each are: The wraparound is a gorgeously animated bit of stop motion or something like it where the spirit of winter goes around and turns fall to winter or helps the kid with winter fun. It’s a bunch of really adorable stuff. The first proper one is the kids having a snowball fight when a bunch of asshole adults interupt, and hte kids end up getting even by hiding in some snowmen. Again just some really fun, really well done stuff. But the first one that really makes it follows Technobear, local wannabe ladies man in training who has a crush on Harvey’s mom and fantasies about giving her some lovely read shoes and skating with her. His hopes are dashed when instead her daughter michelle, the horrifing baby child pictured above, takes them instead. But not only is it heartwarming to see the stone faced future rule of the world crack a smile, Techno instnatly realizes whats’ improtant and takes the bby ice skating. The next segment is just some goofy googus with the squirrels, the local crooks who are also squirreels, but it’s still pretty good. We then get Jeremy trying to be santa which is both funny but genuinely heartwarming and finally the best bit as Dade, local killjoy, gets annoyed at everyone singing a popular new christmas song instead of the old standard he likes and being a dick about it before softening a bit when Harvey genuinely offers him camradere. It’s just.. good stuff that’s hard to put into words, and given putting it into words is my thing, it really speaks to just hwo good this special is. it just, makes me feel nice, and really gets the spirit of the holiday in all it’s forms. It’s gorgeously aniamted, well paced, and never stops being entertaining and that’s why it’s both my faviorite and why every year.. i’ll be coming back to little bark. And if nothing else.. it’ll keep this warm, great show alive in my heart. So with that I end this list. If you didn’t like it tha’ts fine, this is my opinon. But I wanted to share my faviorites with you and hope you’ll check them out this or next chirstmas. Until we meet again... Merry Christmas to all,and to all a good night.

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curious-minx · 3 years

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Bob’s Burgers most reliable holiday provides another lowkey enjoyable, but messy episode. Whereas the latest Simpsons strikes a really sore vocal node.

The second holiday episode of Bob’s Burgers’ 11th season, much like the previous Halloween episode, this one also fails to live up to the series’ even higher Thanksgiving standard

That’s not to say “Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid” is not a good episode, but it does fall into the category of Bob’s Burgers episode I typically respond to the least: Character-based storytelling vignettes. The writing on these segment driven episodes tend to be looser and playful bending the show’s reality, but much like every time the other Fox family leaves the Springfield plane of reality into a pastiche styled playground for the writers to plug the characters into.

The overall animation and visual-based gags on this episode offers some of the best moments of the season and series in general. Having the Belcher stories revolve around action movie pastiches of 90’s action movie schlock like Air Force Once, Armageddon, and late 80’s Predator are extremely punny and really grasping hard for satire. The walk to Louise’s Breadator is succinct and makes total sense for Louise’s character to tell this kind of story, whereas Tina drawing inspiration from Air Force One for her story sags the episode down. This episode also has the gall to bring in Gayle, a character that usually elevates all of her episodes nothing much to do until the third and best segment told by Bob. Teddie is also frustratingly nowhere to be seen and Teddie is one of those characters that really only needs a small scene explaining away his absence like in the episode “Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled,” which Variety and I consider to be among the best of Bob’s Thanksgiving episodes.

Nitpicks and reminiscing on past glories aside, what’s most impressive about an episode as conceptual and overstuffed as this one, an episode that’s also poopy and gross-out from the very beginning, still manages to pack undeniable heart. Seeing a character as relatable and sad sack-y as Bob Belcher be passionate about his one favorite holiday reminds me of the everlasting and evergreen Ray Bradbury remark about how everyone is capable of writing poetry as long as you ask them to talk about something they are truly passionate about. Seeing how this episode climax revolves around Gene and Bob’s love of food and proves a powerful sentimental moment. Bob’s Burgers sentimentality works because the show’s core is silly absurdism, light and fluffy gross out gags and quirky twee-ness. Introducing the action movie element feels like the series trying to branch out its audience and try to catch some eyeballs of viewers looking for something more like Archer, American Dad, Rick and Morty, or even Treehouse of Horror style genre exercises. Bob’s Burgers and action comedy feels like putting garlic pesto on cinnamon toast, but Ryan Reynolds doesn’t think so.

Yes, that’s right. The biggest news out of the Bob’s Burgers camp…probably ever…is that the Molyneux sisters, the writers of this very action packed episode, have been hand selected by Mr. Detective “VanWilder” Pickachu himself to be head writers on the upcoming third Deadpool movie. Seeing that we live in a post Russo brothers world and how Dan Harmon was conscripted to punch up Doctor Strange scripts none of this should really surprise me, but I am still very much surprised by this development. The Deadpool 3 creative team and Reynolds is still promising to deliver an R-Rated Comedy, a rating and promise that is very much why Deadpool is the sensation that it is.

In the current media landscape the only way a big budget R-Rated comedy can get made is if it’s attached to something like a mega superhero sized brand. At this point in time Deadpool is the closest thing kids have to a Mel or Al Brooks and it is what it is. If anything Ryan Reynolds personally choosing the Molyneux sisters for a project like this makes me like Ryan Reynolds a little bit more. And he’s a man I previously had no real feelings or opinions about. The only other thing about Deadpool I know about is that the franchise has developed a particularly shitty reputation in terms of its treatment of main female characters and literally freezing them out of the plot. The future of comedy is being driven by the significant increase of women gaining these kind of writing gigs and it’s a beautiful thing to finally see witness. Especially when a company like Netflix has been really shitty to both of its own female driven comedies: Glow and Tucca and Bertie.

Sigh. I am thankful for all the sad little boys and girls wearing too much or maybe the right amount of eye shadow that will inherit this flaming Earth.

Three and half pear shaped pals out of an Oedipus Rex Complex.

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Nerds! Nothing but a lousy rotten sniveling dweeb! You dorkus-rex! You body pillow huffing geek get over here and let the Simpsons set some things straight for you: A Comic Book Guy driven episode of the Simpsons is often where the show goes off the rails. The Comic Book Guy marriage episode is was one of those late day Simpsons that feel like a bad piece of dreamed up fan fiction that you found on the cutting room floor. Is the show interested at all with the fact that comics and being nerdy have become as mainstream as the Bible? No? They’re still treating geek culture as some sort of low hanging piñata fruit lousy with cheap references in place of actual jokes? Good! I don’t know why I would ever allow myself to think for a second that the Simpsons would challenge its own status quo 32 seasons in, but I keep coming back.

What I should really do is back up. The title of this episode is “Three Dreams Denied.” Ah, Dream Denial! That’s exactly what anyone watching an animated sitcom hopes for: dreams being crushed. This isn’t some kiddy Davy and Goliath feel good wholesome fable, this is the Simpsons where characters are given dreams, and those dreams get denied. The next part of the title I want to break down is the fact that there are specifically three dreams that being denied. Three! That’s a comedy number! As long as you have three of anything you’re doing comedy. Plain and simple.

During the Robert Zemeicks arc of the Blank Check podcast Griffin Newman, co-host and comedian extraordinaire and someone I generally admire a lot, has been bringing up the fact that he’s been spending a lot of his Quarantine rewatching the entirety of the Simpsons. By the episode of Used Cars Newman has already gotten past the Movie era and is in the 20th seasons. One observation he made about later day Simpsons is that these episodes have a tendency to end abruptly on a pile of unusable and reality bending plots still in the process of tying themselves up. And there’s no better/worse example of this than this episode.

Comic Book Guy goes to a comic book convention. Bart becomes a voice actor after befriending the comic book guy’s temporary replacement. Lisa feuds over her saxophone chair in the school orchestra with a new pretty boy voiced by the underwhelming Ben Platt. One of these plots is not like the other. This used to be the signature of a quality Simpsons episode that managed to tweak and divert expectations from the typical A & B sitcom storylines. This episode fundamentally fails to deliver on any of the three storylines and what makes it worse is that it’s an intentional choice.

Now I know I have spent this review harping on Comic Book Guy, but he’s not even why this episode for me is such an abomination. And it’s not because the cutesy, flimsy Lisa subplot either (although I do find it noxiously amusing that a week after an Yeardely Smith took issue with the Queer Interpretation of Lisa would feature her going moony eyed over a boy voiced by a defiantly queer actor), no, what tips this episode into the territory of the truly terrible for me is the Bart becomes a voice actor subplot.

The only defining quality of season 32 that I can discern is that the flagrant trolling on behalf of the writers. Can you believe we had three vignette driven episodes of the Simpsons in a row? Can you believe we would have meta reality breaking voice actor related moments back to back? When Lisa Simpson’s voice actor Yeardley Smith voiced the real world character of herself in the previous Podcast based episode it was clumsy and awkward as hell. Having Bart become a voice actor that ends up voicing a character of the opposite gender is the sort of kind of a funny thing that resembles a joke that the latter day Simpsons revel in. The characterization of voice acting work in this episode is downright insulting and explains exactly why this show suffers.

The character of Phil that serves as the Comic Book Guy’s replacement is a working voice actor. He let’s Bart know this by doing a series of completely basic, broad and unremarkable impersonations that Bart is seemingly impressed by. All you have to do to become a successful voice actor is do a silly voice and you’re golden. Maybe from the perspective of a series as lazy and indulgent as the Simpsons is when it comes to voice acting. The complete denial of Julie Kavner’s deteriorating voice that at this point sounds like gentle elder abuse. There are times when Kavner is downright incomprehensible at times. The other oldest member of the Simpsons voice talent, Harry Shearer was wrongheadedly trying to defend his right to voice Characters of Colors because in his words, “the job of the voice actor is to play someone who they’re not.” Obviously these words were not spoken by someone that thinks very highly of acting either. There is no one job an actor has to do, because the job of an actor is always changing from job to job. The character of Phil is not even attributed to anyone! I have spent over thirty minutes getting testy with IMDB search engines and reading another website’s recap and no one can tell me who did the voice of the Voice Acting Character on Simpsons. Lovely.

Much like the Comic Book Guy the Simpsons heart is in bad shape. This is a show whose entire existence seems to be made out of spite. Or to garner enough funds for Matt Groening to prevent him from ever having to serve any prison time for his exploits on the Lolita express. Great, see I’m bringing up the Lolita Express at the end of a Simpsons review. This episode really left me in a bad mood, but thankfully that’s what Bob’s Burgers is for.

SKIP. The only people that should watch this are people teaching a screenwriting class that need examples of what happens when you break your episode by haphazardly shoving three plots into one episode. If you can’t tie up one story in a satisfying manner then you really shouldn’t be telling a story at all. There’s also one really magnificent visual joke involving Homer and beer tea that is absolutely wasted on this episode.

#Bob's Burgers #Deadpool #MCU #2021 #TV series #TV review #TV #The Simpsons #voice artist #voice acting #rant

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notribs · 4 years

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hello hello ! it is may again and i... am still 20, using she/her, and in the eastern standard timezone. i can’t say that’s changed in the amount of time between intros. anyway, i do want to say that i like this gif because i feel like it.............. is an accurate representation of ribs at........... almost all times.

‹ TREVANTE RHODES, HE/HIM, CIS MAN, BISEXUAL. › DAVID “RIBS” SHAFFER is the TWENTY-EIGHT year old from EMERYVILLE, CA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said, ❝ IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEWHERE JAMIE LEE WOULD BE LURED INTO. ❞ they claim ANY HORROR MOVIE WITH JAMIE LEE CURTIS IN IT is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would EXPLAIN TO THE KILLER THAT THERE WAS NO WAY HE MET THE CRITERIA FOR THE ‘FINAL GIRL’… JUST TO BE KILLED IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS SPEECH. their fears include HALLUCINATING, PARALYZATION and FIREWORKS, and they don’t know we know, but… HE MADE MONEY AS A DEALER WHILE HE WAS STILL WAITING FOR THE BAND TO TAKE OFF. hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ MUSE B from STRESSED OUT. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: david “ribs” isaiah shaffer

date of birth: december 1, 1992

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three zodiac chart because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: sagittarius sun, capricorn moon, pisces rising

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: drummer + backup songwriter + history of drug dealing

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “make or break” - bugzy malone

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: violence, mentions of drug dealing, very very very brief mention of self-harm (not the product of a mental illness which is why i forgot to include this until i looked at it again this morning - the product of wanting to keep a lie), very very brief mention of guns and fire in the ‘fears’ section

born to a very loving family bc i need a sunnier background hasfkljwas

david was never EVER academically inclined. he’ll tell you it’s because he just wasn’t interested and was too involved in music and boxing, both of which will be gone over soon, but that wasn’t entirely true. he was also very busy working odd jobs days and nights as a kid and days and nights at successful businesses when he was 16+ (see: papa john’s)

his parents did own a music shop! they were clearly doing their part! but, in the digital era and the era of guitar center, they were only getting so much traction. they were also much too calm about it, at least outwardly, so david felt as though he needed to help.

but it is true that he spent a lot of time practicing music and boxing! as just mentioned, his parents owned a music store and were both very musically inclined. they taught him how to be, at the very least, INTERMEDIATE at as many instruments as possible. he can now confidently say that, if the band ever needed it, he could play the guitar, piano, bass, or saxophone.

that being said, his instrument of choice was the drums. he began using jazz drummers, as well as various hip-hop beats, as his inspiration. his original inspirations were buddy rich, gene krupa, chico hamilton, art blakey, and the beats of grime and 90s rap.

it shows.

when he ventured into other genres, however, he began taking inspiration from nick mason, john bonham, neil peart, keith moon, ginger baker, karen carpenter, and ringo starr

(i have a music theory + history lesson for you if you think ringo is a bad drummer ok - he was a “songwriter’s drummer,” which is much more important to being a drummer in a band than being technically skilled or being able to show off with complex patterns and, thus, overshadowing the song. that’s why the beatles continued asking ringo to play the drums on their songs, even after they broke up. john lennon never said “he’s not even the best drummer in the beatles” - a radio dj made that joke and people started taking it literally. love that.)

(also the same goes for nick mason but his drumming is rly only brought up when he’s brought up since pink floyd isn’t as talked about as the beatles)

ALSO!!! i have decided to be passionate about karen carpenter because girl won a 1975 poll that pit her against john bonham for best drummer and he got so mad and said she couldn’t last ten minutes with led zeppelin. the following is just alleged, but oh my god i hope it’s true: then she proceeded to compliment his drumming, say that she thinks it’s all very subjective, then got behind her set and played “babe i’m gonna leave you” while singing and not missing a single note. we have decided to stan forever.

he also took up boxing. as a kid, he was just practicing and taking any excess frustration out. when he turned 14, however, he found an opportunity in an underground circuit. he started fighting against other people, for real, and would be paid if he won the fight.

so: school from 8a-3p, drum practice from 3:30p-7:30p (i know), family from 8p-10p, boxing from 11p-2a.

his parents knew he boxed, but didn’t know it was as dangerous as it was. they assumed there were more safeguards in place..... but boy was bringing in a LOT of money for there to be a lot of safeguards in place. because of this, david NEVER let them see his matches.

when he was 16, he’d broken his ribs during one of the fights and refused to see a doctor over it. what did he say happened when his parents could TELL something was wrong? he said that he’d been mugged and beaten up. to support this theory, before he ‘showed’ it to them, he dug into himself with a knife to make it look like the muggers had a switchblade.

from there on out, he made everyone call him “ribs”

did his parents ever wonder where his excess income was coming from? DEFINITELY. he told them that, yes, his MINIATURE matches did bring in some money, but the rest of the money came from tips!! because people are clearly that generous!!

he also never showed them the full amount. he’d only give what was necessary, not out of selfishness, rather to keep his secret and save them from worrying about him. he put it in a savings account.

it should also be addressed that, during this time, he became friends with who would become the guitarist in his future band, joakim. he witnessed joakim fight a homophobic teenager and desperately wanted to join in... but his ribs were broken ahflskd

he continued boxing, even after being introduced to joakim’s college friend, gabe - the future singer of their band. that being said, they began jamming with each other and played in a few local circuits.

his parents were very encouraging of this and told him that he should go for this as a career opportunity.

can you tell they were idealists?

he wanted to... but it was very impractical. by now, however, he was out of school (and he never went to college). his parents let him continue living with them since they were under the belief they were short on cash and it’d be difficult for him to find an affordable apartment under the papa john’s salary.

he decided to take his parents up on this... but, while he was waiting for his band to find success, their music store was closed down. as they both began looking desperately for new jobs, he realized that papa john’s and the fighting payment wasn’t quite enough anymore... so he started selling drugs.

he doesn’t keep his fighting a secret anymore, but he does keep his drug dealing a secret. he fears that it’ll perpetuate stereotypes.

during one of his band’s gigs, he and the others met their future bassist - the missing piece - rory. she was marginally younger than they were, but she was an extremely talented bassist and songwriter, so the lineup was finally complete and devil’s wine was formed.

when they began skyrocketing, he quit drug dealing. he also stopped the dangerous boxing, although he continues to... box safely. he began sending money back home after they really started succeeding. his mother got a teacher licensure in music and his father got the opportunity to own..... a guitar center.

if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

VERY IMPORTANT: uses a pearl custom kit, istanbul cymbals, aquarian heads, and vic firth sticks.

that was very important.

PERSONALITY INFO:

literally obsessed with jamie lee curtis. watching her movies has also made him very genre-savvy.

would genuinely die for her.

is the epitome of bob belcher’s “oh my god.” in his band. they get off topic during practice/recording just ONCE?? queue “oh my god.” and the gif above.

isn’t necessarily ashamed of his past dealings (literally) - like, joakim knows - but is genuinely afraid of perpetuating the stereotype of the dirty black boy. he’s open about the rest of his life, but he’s convinced that if people learn he used to sell drugs, he would be setting people back. having a black drummer in a rock band that’s on the radio? he needs to keep up appearances!!

never wears shirts during concerts. has to show off his ribs and also drumming, with a bunch of lights directly on him, is an extreme exercise and guaranteed sweat machine. dresses like bugzy malone otherwise.

ahflskjd again,,, like adrian,,, look @ his chart ig alhkfjd

FEARS:

hallucinating: he hates not only the idea of losing his mind, but also the idea of having a skewed view of reality after he really... saw reality, you know? his uncle had schizophrenia and, while he rarely saw him, the thought of going through what his uncle had/has to go through terrifies him.

paralyzation: this was a constant worry of his during his boxing matches - he was terrified someone would wind up taking out a firearm and would shoot him into a state of paralysis. not to mention, all limbs are required for both drumming and boxing.... so.

fireworks: less deep than the others. the house next door to his was set on fire due to a firework display being too close. while no one died and most of the house was salvaged, the idea of losing anything he has is terrifying to him. also the sounds they make remind him of guns so?

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

ok,,, so unlike adrian,,, he lived in california,,, a state many other characters lived in. while some cities in california can be like,,,, seven hours away,,, IT’S STILL AN IMPROVEMENT, so i’ll list a few past connection ideas too!

fans

people who hate his music

people who’ve seen one of his matches

old friends

someone who was constantly in his parents’ music store

exes

fwb

ons

???? im bad at connections!!!!!! but im down for brainstorming and/or working off of urs!!!!!!

#manor:talk #will be updated when more is figured out w his subplot ofc!!

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sparkles-and-trash · 6 years

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All Trash Creations Masterpost

Bob’ Burgers

The Older!AU

Characters:

Tina Belcher

Gene Belcher

Louise Belcher

Jimmy Pesto Jr.

Andy Pesto

Ollie Pesto

Zeke

Rudy (regular sized) Stieblitz

Millie Frock

Courtney Wheeler

Jocelyn

Logan Berry Bush

Aesthetics

Gene & Louise

Tina & Louise

The Pesto Twins

Zeke x Tina

Louise & Rudy Friendship

Millie & Louise Friendship

Bisexual Louise

Tina Hobbies and Interests

Gene ft. yellow and green

Whatstagram posts

#1 by RegularSizedDork

Text conversations

Tina & Jimmy Jr, ft Zeke

Short Stories

When Gene Found Out Vine is Dead (like a year later than everyone else)

When Louise dyed her hair blue ft. whatstagram, snapchats and texts

When Louise keyed up Logans car

Other

List of Faceclaims

Other Bob’s Burgers Creations

The Belcher Kids as Vines

The Adults as Vines

Why I Love The Belcher Family, A Memoir By Trash, Part 1, Bob

Why I Love The Belcher Family, A Memoir By Trash, Part 2, Linda

Why I Love The Belcher Family, A Memoir By Trash, Part 3, Tina

Riverdale

Imagines:

Sweet Pea, Hotelroom

Sweet Pea, Dress by Taylor Swift, song based imagine

Sweet Pea, First time spending the night at his trailer

Fangs, The stolen shirt

Sweet Pea, Parents

Headcanons:

Being Fangs best friends falling in love with Sweet Pea

Basic Sweet Pea Headcanons

The Start of Jugpea, Sweet Pea x Jughead

Taking care of drunk Sweet Pea

Meeting at NYU, Sweet Pea

AU’s

Scooby-Doo/Supernatural/Ghostbusters inspired Serpents, AU

Runaway with the circus (1900′s) Serpents, AU

Drabbles:

Aliens, Sweet Pea

Protective, Sweet Pea

Serpents on Social Media

Thoughts and rants:

Bughead/Serena and Dan parallels

Sweet Pea and romantic interests

Jughead as the “Serpent King”

A way too long post about requests, imagines, and expectations

Harry Potter

Prompt writings:

Weasley twins prompts

Headcanons

Random Weasley twins opposites headcanons

What kind of girls the Weasley twins go for…

When the Weasley twins have a crush…

You’re first summer at the Burrow while dating Fred and George…

First dates with Fred and George…

Dating Fred and George at Hogwarts…

Random Weasley twins headcanons…

Being best friends with the Weasley Twins…

Being married to Fred Weasley…

Being married to George Weasley…

An Fred and George character analysis

Moodboards:

Fred/George Weasley x Gryffindor Girl

Fred/George Weasley x Hufflepuff Girl

Fred/George Weasley x Slytherin Girl

Fred Weasley x Ravenclaw Girl

First apartment with George Weasley

First apartment with Fred Weasley

Imagines:

Harry Potter

Golden Trio Era

Imagine #1, George Weasley

Imagine #2 Fred Weasley

Imagine #3 George Weasley

Imagine #4 Fred Weasley

Imagine #5, part 1, George Weasley

Imagine #5, part 2, George Weasley

Imagine #6 Fred Weasley

Imagine #7, part 1 Fred Weasley

Imagine #7, part 2 Fred Weasley

Imagine #8, Fred Weasley

Marauders Era

Imagine #1 Sirius Black

Brooklyn Nine Nine

Drabbles

My thoughts of Peraltiago

My thoughts on Peraltiago having kids

Girls I would love to see Rosa dating

“Give me back my phone” -Dianetti

“Jealous” - Dianetti

“Aliens” - Peraltiago

Fanfiction:

Unraveling Rosa Diaz

Recess

Fanfiction

What we started together, we’ll finish together

Senior Year, The End of The Beginning

Home for Christmas

A Playlist

#holy shit #I do more than i think lol #recess #b99 #bob’s burgers #Weasley twins #Harry potter #Trash writes

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bollywoodtota · 4 years

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New Bob’s Burgers Short Reveals What the Belchers are Doing in Quarantine

A humorous new short for Bob's Burgers shows how Bob and his family are coping with quarantining (and boredom) in the era of COVID-19. A new short for Bob's Burgers gives a glimpse of what the Belcher family has been up to during quarantine. The hit animated comedy featuring a quirky but lovable family just recently wrapped up season 10 in May, still going strong since its debut in 2011. Despite COVID-19 making production difficult for several major television shows, Fox has confirmed that the Belchers will return for even more misadventures this fall. While the show was not initially a huge success it managed to amass an impressive following over time, becoming one of the mainstays of Fox's Sunday Night lineup. Although viewers may have first been bemused by the show's bizarre plotlines and unique brand of weird humor, many came to appreciate Bob, his faithful wife Linda, and their ever-unusual children - wiseass Gene, outspoken Louise, and awkward Tina. Critics as well have come to praise the show for its writing and direction, with Bob's Burgers earning the Emmy Award nomination for Outstanding Animated Program every year since 2014, winning in 2014 and again in 2017.The new short posted to the show's YouTube, titled "Bored," offers a refreshing take on quarantine woes from the perspective of the Belchers. Read the full article

#animated #bob #burger #quarantine #reveals

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televisedbirdwatching · 4 years

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A Picnic against Harbor Drive: Neighborhood Associations and the Fight Against Freeways

In his book “Portland in Three Centuries,” historian and PSU professor Carl Abbott writes: “On a summer day when the mountains and coast beckoned many Portlanders, 250 adults and 100 children spread their blankets and opened their coolers and baskets on a barren strip between four lanes of busy traffic on Front Avenue and an even busier four lanes on Harbor Drive.”

This postcard shows Front Street to the left, a grassy median, and Harbor Drive plus offramps. Steel Bridge in the background. From here.

The picnic took place on August 19th, 1969, organized by a fresh group of political activists. From the 1950’s through the 1970’s, traffic planners got a little highway crazy: a 1955 report by the Oregon Department of Transportation recommended the construction of 14 new freeways in the Portland Metro area. Even after Interstate 5 was constructed on the east side of the river, city planners wanted to expand Harbor Drive on the west side of the river, completely cutting off pedestrian access to the Willamette downtown.

Harbor drive no longer exists- today, we know of it as Tom McCall Waterfront Park. Though the park bears Governor McCall’s name, we can thank the efforts of a few civic-minded Portland families hosting a picnic on a busy median on a summer day. They called their group Riverfront for People.

Here’s a photo from one of the picnics. From here.

The picnic was the first of a number of such demonstrations over the course of that summer. The protest was organized by Allison Belcher and her husband Bob. Allison said, “I was ironing clothes, as was the wont of females to do of that time and I heard on the radio that the Highway Commission was going to put this road right down through where the Oregon Journal property was along the river, so I called up Ira Keller [chairman of the Portland Development Commission—one of the city’s most powerful, mercurial figures] on the telephone and I said, ‘what are you doing, why are you doing this?’ He said, ‘You shouldn’t be bothered—you’re just a housewife.’” This quote and many of the other quotes from the RFP organizers come from an excellent interview conducted by Tim DuRoche, here).

Allison started making phone calls, reaching out to people she had met through a shared interest in the upcoming 1970 City Council election. In the meantime, her husband Bob got in touch with his architect coworkers- folks interested in the historical preservation of west-side waterfront buildings and folks with a vision for a more vibrant Portland than the east side riverfront’s maze of concrete represented.

This is an image from a 1932 planning report by Harland Bartholemew. Notice the riverfront green space on both sides of the river. During the war, the eastside riverfront would be lost to industrial uses and freeway I-5. Notice the “city beautiful” style buildings. City of Portland Archives.

This gif from this bikeportland article shows ODOT’s proposal to widen I-5 along the eastbank of the river even further, creating a ridiculous overhang over the eastbank multi-use path.

The picnic worked. The Riverfront for People organizers got the attention of Governor Tom McCall, who, even before the picnics, had spoken about his hope of creating a public greenspace along the waterfront. The alliance between the regular folks- the 350 people who showed up to have summer picnics on a highway median- and the political establishment built a powerful coalition able to resist the 1970’s hunger for more miles of concrete.

However, despite their new and powerful ally, Harbor Drive wouldn’t officially close until 1974. That’s five years of difficult political work to achieve their goal. This political work helped inspire a new generation of citizen leaders in Portland politics. Carl Abbott writes: “The process of neighborhood planning between 1957 and 1967 was as straightforward as its content. City Planning Commission reports make no reference to neighborhood groups or citizen involvement. They were prepared by city employees for their colleagues in city hall.”

However, as part of the Harbor Drive campaign, Belcher and others began showing up to city hall meetings, demanding to have their opinions considered in the decisions that shape their city. Belcher said, “It was something new for Portland to go down to City Hall and testify—everything had always been run by these people who’d been in power for a long time and they didn’t discuss it with anyone. There really hadn’t been much change or access up to that point.” PSU professor Ernie Bonner notes that 120 people attended the January 14th, 1970 meeting of the State Highway Commission, where a closure date for Harbor Drive was officially set.

Harbor Drive helped usher in a new era of citizen engagement in local issues. Allison and Bob Belcher protested alongside Vera Katz (namesake of the Eastside Riverfront Recreational path) and Gretchen and Steve Kafoury (Parents to commissioner Deborah, and longtime political officeholders themselves) to demand that the City Club of Portland allow women as members. Bob Belcher: “What began with Model Cities and then Neil Goldschmidt coming on to Council … was part of this something wonderful that was happening in Portland of that time. It was post-Kennedy—there was a huge energy in the air … there was a lot going on, all that turmoil in Vietnam, but there was an underlying current of all these things on a national level. …Our great virtue was the times energized us—it was a hopeful time. We were pretty outraged and we were young enough that we thought we could make a big noise about this.”

Their ‘young outrage,’ ability to build connections with establishment politicians like McCall, and savvy campaigns for councillors Anderson, McCready, and Goldschmidt would create the initial energy required to defeat the proposal for the Mt. Hood Freeway when it came up in 1975, and would then help to divert the funds necessary to create the first branch of the MAX light rail line in the metro region. Activists were also successful in defeating a plan to build a 12-story parking garage on the site that is now Pioneer Courthouse Square.

A picture from the early days of the Marquam Bridge. Photo here.

The west side of the city, with Harbor Drive. Look at all of that open space between the Standard Insurance Building on 5th and the riverfront! Photo Here.

In 1973, councilman Goldschmidt became Mayor Goldschmidt, and created the Office of Neighborhood Associations. This plan helped formalize a pathway for democratic engagement in city politics. However, the neighborhood associations could be an institution that’s beginning to show its age. In 2019, Commissioner Chloe Eudaly picked a fight with the neighborhood associations in Portland. Quoting from this article in the WW, she argues “Eudaly says neighborhood associations too often represent white homeowners and exclude renters, people of color and immigrants. And, she says, they serve as gatekeepers who stand in the way of denser development and the construction of more affordable housing.”

Eudaly proposed an ordinance that would help bring new voices and interest groups to official budget, land use, and development discussions; discussions currently limited to the formally-recognized and geographically-based neighborhood groups. The WW notes “currently, six identity-based groups—including the Urban League, the Latino Network, and the Immigrant & Refugee Community Organization—receive funding,” but are not currently invited to participate in those discussions. Eudaly’s ordinance hoped to change that.

2019’s Eudaly v. Neighborhood Association title fight portrayed the neighborhood associations as the white, home-owning, baby-boomer villains: a political vanguard keeping people with younger, fresher ideas out of the traditional channels of political access. These, of course, being the same villains who once organized to stop the expansion of two freeways, created a key downtown greenspace, forced the city to adopt a progressive view of transit planning, and helped establish systems for democratic engagement in city government.

The Portland west side waterfront today. Photo.

In his interview with the Belchers, DuRoche asked “if we were in danger of becoming complacent or resting too much on the laurels of past successes —and forgetting how to organize and coalesce around neighborhood, regional issues—I was greeted with a rousing, “Yes.”

“I would frame it this way,” Bob Belcher elaborates. “With this event of 40 years ago, this was kind of like our neighborhood—downtown. We lived in Irvington, but in a way, we worked downtown, we played down there, we just wanted it better. …These days we’re grappling with a regional project [the Columbia River Crossing] that has a misunderstood impact on this city and surrounding, adjacent neighborhoods and all kinds of ramifications that we can’t begin to understand. It’s ended up to be not just a simple neighborhood issue that a lot of us in the past could identify with and get rallied to, with an Allison Belcher haranguing us to get out and go to the picnic. It’s far more complex … how do we make the point these days?”

The Columbia River Crossing is no longer the Freeway Fight du jour: attention has now shifted to the I-5 freeway expansion through the Rose Quarter. It’s worth taking another look at Bob’s words above: are freeway projects today really more difficult to understand, ‘far more complex,’ and not just ‘simple neighborhood issues?’

In my last article, I wrote about the Seattle Labor Temple; at one point, a bustling center for labor activism; today, nearly empty. Less than a mile away, three glass domes built by Amazon serve as a new kind of temple to the American Worker. It’s clear from these features of the built environment that the nature of labor has changed. Perhaps labor activism needs to change as well. Considering Bob Belcher’s perspective, how have the fights against freeways changed? How does transportation activism need to change? How do the traditional methods of civic engagement need to change?

However, I think the other thing to consider is the effectiveness of Allison Belcher’s simple protest- a picnic in an unlikely place- and the spirit of activism it inspired in the Portland community. At the end of the day, said Belcher and fellow organizer Jim Howell, it was really about giving their kids a chance to get to the river. If we let the freeway take over the riverbank on both sides, they couldn’t have that chance. “It wasn’t political,” said Howell. “It was Civic.”

-----

I tend to get deep into research holes while writing these. This is part bibliography and part recommendations.

Carl Abbott’s book “Portland in Three Centuries.”

Carl Abbott’s book “Politics, Planning, and Growth in a Twentieth-Century City”

https://www.pdx.edu/usp/planpdxorg-riverfront-people

https://metroscape.imspdx.org/a-riverfront-park-runs-through-it?print=print

https://www.wweek.com/news/city/2019/09/11/chloe-eudalys-neighborhood-war-the-populist-commissioner-hits-back-against-critics-who-say-shes-strangling-portland-democracy/

https://www.portlandoregon.gov/archives/article/24741

http://rebelmetropolis.org/the-portland-riverfront-that-almost-was/

https://portlandtribune.com/but/239-news/463929-376278-learning-from-portlands-harbor-drive

https://www.cnu.org/what-we-do/build-great-places/harbor-drive

https://www.cnu.org/publicsquare/2019/04/12/chance-repeat-history

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