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mangora · 2 months

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So I haven’t been fulfilling my obligations as resident Scike enjoyer recently and I finally have a night with no coursework due, so here’s a meta analysis post about my interpretations of Scott and Mike’s characters, primarily as told through their relationship with one another. This isn’t necessarily accurate, some of these are definitely reaches or headcanons with little basis in reality, it’s not like a serious essay; this is just for fun since I find their relationship (or I guess, my idea of their relationship) fascinating 👍

So, naturally we start with episode one, where we’re introduced to Scott and Mike as well as the other generation two characters. Scott, off the bat, is unfriendly and untrusting; even before Jo says anything, he eyes her with malcontent. Scott looks at Mike with a seemingly annoyed expression when he’s introduced next. Mike, in contrast to Scott, is smiling and taking in the view. Scott notices immediately when Zoey nudges him and stares at her arm; I don’t think this demonstrates any sort of feelings for Mike on Scott’s part, yet at least, but rather it seems to display his social awareness. He’s already trying to gauge both Mike and Zoey’s personalities and dynamic— he could also be judging them, or a mix of that and the aforementioned gauging. Regardless, Scott’s already shown to be suspicious of others.

Meanwhile, Mike’s shown to form an attachment right away, specifically to Zoey. Their very minor interaction causes him to smile and espouse that the view is beautiful, though he’s obviously regarding her. This causes him to let his guard down, along with Zoey, which leaves both susceptible to being shoved out of the way by Lightning. Take note of this, as Mike’s desire to form stable relationships becomes a hallmark of his character. The dichotomy between Scott being untrusting when he should be and Mike being trusting when he shouldn’t be will become a running theme as well.

The next time we see them both is after the intro, when Scott refuses to help Cameron and calls him a “spaz”. This is contrasted with Mike being too kind with Zoey when they should be helping Staci out of the water, which causes him to be pulled underwater by her and could have led to them both drowning. This not only aligns with our theme of trust vs lack thereof, but also Mike’s goodwill vs Scott’s lack thereof again. It seems that what Scott needs, Mike supplies to a harmful excess; however, as we will touch on later, both of these incidents with Mike only occurred when there was another person there (Zoey) who he sought to impress or bond with. Right now all of these exist in an unjoined microcosm, but once again, scenes like this repeat throughout the season.

Another scene worth noting is Mike’s confessional directly after. Mike’s already attached himself to Zoey, admiring her kindness and immediately jumping to the idea of a relationship with her. We’ve already established that Mike wants human connection, but here we also see the added element of insecurity; he already fears rejection for his “quirk”, which we will later discover is his DID (called “Multiple Personality Disorder” in the show; I am not fucking calling it that). He doesn’t state it to the audience yet, showing that maybe he’s not as trusting with people who he can’t directly connect with; even though he probably knows that he will inevitably be outed to them, for lack of a better term. Since he’s insecure about this, and because he says he hopes his “condition doesn’t ruin anything for [him] again”, we can draw the reasonable conclusion that Mike’s probably been rejected for his DID before, whether by potential romantic interests or by his peers more generally (with the added context of season five this could also be referring to how Mal got the system sent to jail, but honestly I’m not sure if the writers planned that far in advance so we’re not really gonna talk about it). It could also be possible that one of Mike’s motives for joining the show, besides the money, was to make friends or find a partner in a new group of people who didn’t know this detail of his life, and to do that by hiding his DID. Once again, this will seem like less of a reach as we continue to see this pattern unfold; it’s good to establish now the idea that Mike is heavily concerned with interpersonal relationships and self-image so we can continue compounding on that thesis as we go on.

Next time we see either Mike or Scott is on the beach. Staci is talking about her family and Mike is obviously ignoring her in favor of looking at Zoey. This shows that while Mike is nice, he might not view everyone as an equal opportunity for human connection; he gets attached to Zoey instantly and regards her above everyone else, quick to establish a clear-cut and intense relationship in his mind with someone he barely knows. When Zoey even implies that they could become friends, he appears overjoyed. He’s so excited, and for what? Put a pin in this.

Our focus shifts back to Scott briefly in the team formation scene before the first challenge. Scott and Lightning smile at each other (or maybe generally? It’s unclear if Scott’s looking at him) as they’re put on the same team. His smile fades when Brick shouts “Sir, yes sir!”, but rather than looking maybe annoyed or angry, he looks uncharacteristically concerned. His smile returns when B shoves Brick, then changes to annoyance when B’s put on his team. There are two major explanations for this. The first and most likely is that Scott’s scoping out his teammates and competition; he’s happy that Lightning’s on his team because he’s not very smart, then concerned and happy again when Brick’s put on the other team because he’s loyal and physically capable, and then he’s upset that B’s on his team because B’s intelligent and looks (is?) strong/fast. However, on the other hand, Scott’s expressions seem oddly earnest, especially considering how he behaves throughout the rest of the series. Maybe he’s secretly glad that Lightning’s here because he enjoys his company. Something that really caught my eye was Scott’s concern for Brick. Brick’s obviously military (likely due to family circumstances), and in season five, we learn that Scott’s dad is ex-military. Scott might be slightly worried because he knows what the military is like, or what military parents are like. We’ll talk more about Scott’s potential home situation later, but I dunno, something about him in this scene seems weirdly tame considering how he is normally; he seems oddly worried and not about the right people, like all things considered it would be best for his plan if his team was weak but he seems constantly annoyed by the additions of people like Dakota and Sam.

Skipping over more of Scott being annoyed at people and Mike being anxious, when the teams get their names, Mike is the first to ask about the references to chemical waste. Though he’s very likely one of many to notice this, the fact he asked first and without hesitation shows that he’s both worried and quick to observe things. He continues to appear concerned by the growling of the “monster”, but seems to hold back from showing this, staying still with a worried expression. He might be trying to keep it cool to protect his image; or, maybe he’s trying to keep others from worrying as well, considering that Cameron’s already freaking out. When it gets closer, he holds Zoey in his arms. He has an urge to protect those he cares about, even if he has little reason to care about them yet.

Later, during the actual challenge, while Jo and Anne Maria are outwardly annoyed by Brick, Mike tries to politely state that this isn’t working. This is the point at which Chester fronts; we learn later that Chester most commonly fronts to deal with frustrating situations. Mike himself cannot express frustration for whatever reason, likely because he’s afraid to. Meanwhile, Scott does his first confessional, where he states that he has a plan that’s sure to take down B (and implied to take down everyone else as well). Scott’s overly confident and expresses frustration with the gleeful notion that all will be handled eventually. Shortly after, Scott smiles as he and the other Toxic Rats overtake the Mutant Maggots; this is odd, as we will later find out that Scott wants his team to lose. This could be an example of him trying not to play his cards too early, but later it becomes apparent that Scott’s quick to snap when he’s upset. Was he perhaps earnestly excited to win as a team and had trouble masking that as well? Perchance (I can just say perchance, because it’s my meta post, and I do what I want).

It’s worth mentioning now that we’ve covered episode one that Mike and Scott have somewhat inconsistent characterizations; as the series goes on, Mike is more prone to show annoyance or outbursts of fear, while Scott rarely shows genuine happiness when his plans aren’t working out. This could be a result of changing writers, a lack of ideas for one or both of them, or simply them changing and adapting to the game. Make of that what you will; I’ll try to explain things to the best of my ability and puzzle them together in a cohesive analysis, but shit’s a bit wonky.

In episode two, we finally hear Scott’s plan: he’s intent on making his team lose the challenges to “lull the other team into a false sense of security, then pick them off one by one”. This is an interesting concept, considering how fucking stupid it is: if Scott loses most or all of his team and the Maggots continue working together, that security will become real, they will dominate him and any allies he might form (which he does not seem intent to do), and he will lose near immediately unless he’s already planning on how to split them up, assuming any of them would fall for his tricks. However, Scott himself is a little dumb, so this is fitting. He’s so unwilling to work with other people that he seems to have tricked himself into thinking that he can do anything by himself and manipulate people with no outside help. This is unrealistic, and gives the viewer a perfect insight into Scott’s antisocial and bleak worldview. He’s so unwilling to trust people that he hasn’t even figured out how to fake a relationship with any of them for his own benefit.

In the scene where the teams are walking to the Bay of Dismay, Zoey and Mike have their first proper conversation, and it is approximately thirteen seconds long. Zoey brings up Total Warriors Two, and Mike is pleased that she knows about it. He states that if she likes kickboxing as well, he might have to marry her. First of all, film-enjoyer and kickboxer Mike real as fuck; but more importantly, this is another example of Mike attaching himself to Zoey incredibly quickly and incredibly closely. He’s desperate to be liked by her, desperate to be inseparable from her even. Unlike Scott who’s pushing everyone away without a plan, he’s seemingly nudging closer to someone without a plan or a concern for her actual, well, personality. I don’t think this is manipulative or weird at all, to be clear; and Zoey was likely trying to relate to him because he also clearly enjoys his company. It’s just endlessly intriguing how he’s already endeared herself to her.

Once the game actually begins and the Maggots are asked which one of them wet their pants, Mike’s the one to pipe up with surprise, almost making fun of the person in question. Knowing that Mike’s afraid of his own secrets being revealed in this challenge, this clues us in that, while Mike might not have bad intentions, he does partake in judging (and depending on how you interpret his words, shaming) people for their own secrets. He might, to a degree, lack social knowledge (“this might make the person uncomfortable” etc.), empathy, or both. In this right, he’s somewhat selfish. Throughout the season, actually, he continues to show inklings of selfishness, even if they aren’t born out of malice.

After this, the Rats are dunked into the water. Scott’s bitten and dragged out of the stands by Fang, and his team does nothing to rescue him. This upsets Scott, who then refuses to do the rest of the challenge. While this might be part of his plan to lose, it seems that Scott was genuinely upset and offended; he expected his team to help him when he would never do the same for them. More selfishness. Anne Maria seconds Scott, and Mike’s quick to join her since he’s worried about his own secrets being discovered— something that he insists to them isn’t true. I don’t have to explain this, I don’t think; Mike and Scott are alike in their selfish desires for preservation. The thing is that Mike backs down after Jo becomes upset with him, while Scott carries on. So Mike does care about avoiding conflict and being invulnerable to his whole team, but with Zoey specifically, he needs to be liked; not just regarded with neutrality, which appears to be his goal with other people; and he is afraid of being judged, or seen in a negative light.

During the challenge, Scott attempts sabotage for the first time, which fails. He tries to keep the rat from B, and is outwardly antagonistic towards him, which could have easily been used against him. This is another action that Scott seems to take strategically, but barely considers the consequences of. He just needs to be mean, apparently; he can’t control the urge to sabotage or insult, even when it would hurt him.

In the same challenge, Cameron catches Svetlana fronting, and asks Mike about it, which he denies entirely. The Maggots win, which Scott, again, seems genuinely upset about. This is where I’m laying out my theory officially that Scott takes these losses personally but is convincing himself that they’re sacrifices, rather than him genuinely not caring because it’s part of his plan. Maybe he knows that he could be on the chopping block every time and is bracing himself; maybe he enjoys winning each individual challenge for a sense of glory but won’t admit it to himself because it doesn’t work with this bullshit Lone Wolf plan he has. Either way, this brings us to episode three.

In episode three, Sam flings his breakfast into Scott’s face. Instead of pretending it’s okay, Scott throws a spoon at Sam. He then calls him a wimp for complaining about his food. Aside from this being another example of Scott being unable to mask his feelings for the greater good, this leads into the point of Scott’s home life. Total Drama as a series is full of bits that are normal in its cartoon universe, but are disturbing or terrifying taken in a real-world context; look no further than the season’s baseline concept of “we put teenagers on a nuclear island”. Scott living on a dirt farm is one of these things; having to eat dirt is bad in a literal context, and worse when adding the idea of it being a metaphor for not having food to eat. Scott is, quite literally, dirt poor; we’ll talk more about his audition tape later, but in it, we also see that Scott’s house is infested with rats and in a state of complete disarray. In season five, we learn that his father is ex-military and his mother’s a waitress; and since they own a farm, they did or do have two jobs. Scott’s also generally a country boy stereotype, and country folk aren’t exactly known for being well-off. We can almost guarantee that he grew up in a rough economic situation, and has ways of coping with or appreciating it while still working fervently to escape it. Take that for what you will.

Following this scene, Mike admits to the audience that he has DID with a shameful tone. He rushes to explain that he tries to control his alters, as if he needs to or should, but that they don’t listen to him. Mike not only lacks control, but is also attempting to control genuine other people, all for them inconveniencing him and making him worry about being judged. This is another point at which we must acknowledge that Mike is selfish, but also selfish with a sympathetic purpose; he doesn’t want to be judged, and doesn’t want to be alone. When confronted by Jo about Svetlana, he lies and says she’s a character, but fails to actually mimic Svetlana. He’s either a bad actor, doesn’t know Svetlana that well, or both.

During the first half of the challenge, Scott shouts at Lightning to shut his mouth, once again showing how hard it is for him to hide his true feelings. Meanwhile, Mike helps Zoey up a ledge instead of helping himself, showing that he knows when to actually be selfless as long as it benefits someone he cares about. Once again, we go back to Scott as the Rats win the challenge; and Scott is visibly and audibly upset. He doesn’t bother hiding it now, so why would he before? Another point for the “Scott is genuinely excited to win/mad about losing” theory. When his team is mad at him for picking the bad snow fort, Scott acknowledges that this is bad, but rationalizes that it’s part of the plan. Dude, he has no fucking idea how this plan is going to work, does he?

Now we get to the point where Mike finally acknowledges Scott, and tells Zoey to watch out because Mike thinks he’s “psycho”. Mike is the first person to bring up how Scott’s acting irrationally or untrustworthy verbally; and considering they aren’t on the same team, that means Mike must have been, at some point, watching him. As we mentioned earlier, he’s observant, and will bring something up either if he feels it’ll be uncontroversial or if he’s very concerned. Before Scott’s other team caught onto him, Mike did, and before they became cautious or seriously concerned, Mike did. Why? Does Mike have experience picking out these types of people? Was Mike, for some reason, interested in Scott either out of fear or admiration, and therefore paid closer attention to him than anybody else? Mike’s not a very strategic person in the game, but he is a bit strategic and wary socially, especially if he’s afraid of the other person not liking him. Did Mike view Scott as a threat? Maybe something more? Why? Did he recognize Scott’s selfish or secretive behaviors, maybe in himself? These are all, certainly, questions. Perchance.

In his scene with Dawn in the snow fort, Scott argues with her about how he’s not going to listen to the snowball, and says he’s full of negative energy; this causes a snowball to explode in his face. Scott’s unwilling to listen to others, even if it spells his own downfall. After this, Dawn claims that Scott wasn’t held enough as a child, which he stops to think about and is shown to be greatly uncomfortable with in the confessional. Dawn has previously been accurate about the home lives of other players (Zoey and Dakota), so we can assume she’s right. In which case, this is “Scott has a bad home life: part two”. Scott’s parents, at some point, did not meet his emotional needs; whether this was just in early childhood or whether it stayed consistent is unclear, but it’s likely that some of his behavioral issues would have been addressed earlier if his parents were attentive following his most formative years. Because his parents didn’t show him enough affection, he likely turned to either methods of garnering attention elsewhere or through other means, diverted that attention towards desiring victory and/or control for his own self satisfaction divorced from the opinions of other people, and/or a mix of both. We can also reasonably assume that Scott’s poor home life could go beyond simply emotional unfulfillment, since Scott seems worried at the notion of her knowing that, and likely wouldn’t be as concerned if he had nothing else to hide.

Dawn later seems to compliment Scott, calling him a “beetle whisperer”. He turns up his nose and leaves. This could be because he finds the notion of beetle whispering ridiculous, but I just like to think that Scott’s not used to getting compliments and doesn’t know how to react. Just because that’s kinda more wholesome and Dott’s kinda baller.

At this point, B melts the Maggots’ fort, and Jo asks Mike to do the “Svetlana thing”. Under pressure, Mike begins to panic a bit, unsure of how to escape the lie he’s found himself in, almost confessing; Cameron helps Svetlana front, saving him from this situation, and Jo regards Svetlana positively. This is just important to me divorced from Scike because not enough of you talk about Jolana. Moving on, Scott notices B melting the Maggots’ fort and momentarily panics, before melting the Rats’ fort instead and blaming B; while Scott has committed sabotage and swayed the team vote before, this is the first time his sabotage has actively caused the team to lose. You’d figure he’d be celebrating, but we don’t see that. After the loss, Mike goes to the confessional and worries about Vito showing up; we can assume that Vito is the hardest to control and/or would lend the most to affecting Mike’s social life, hence why he states that the situation has gotten worse and seems so on-edge. Scott’s finally gaining control in the game, while Mike appears to be losing it. Scott convinces his team to vote for B, and lies without a problem; Scott, it seems, is good at lying through his words, but has a hard time controlling how he emotes physically. Mike is the same; when he lies or hides information, his voice and face/actions don’t seem to mirror the stories he puts together on the fly. Mike’s not a malicious liar, he in fact has every reason to lie about his condition, if you consider lies of omission to be lies at all; but if you do, he is, in fact, a liar, and it takes one to know one. My Mutual Understanding clownery is all coming together.

In episode four, we mostly see extra examples of previous behavior from Scott: annoyance at his teammates (mainly Sam), selfishness and a lack of consideration for others (not helping Sam up and not caring when his teammates go missing), and being oddly happy over success when he shouldn’t be (excited to find the key). At this point, I began considering the possibility that Scott only likes losing when he’s in control of the loss. To fail when he’s trying to succeed obviously frustrates him, but to fail when he’s trying to fail is a success at failing. In less words, it's the need for power and control, again. Maybe he likes to win sometimes for entertainment, or a sense of accomplishment; he might just do it because he can sometimes. In which case, Scott’s a bit more unpredictable than first thought; he does things largely with one goal in mind, but can push that goal off or come up with other shorter term objectives whenever he feels like it. He’s consistently driven, but the thing he’s driving towards is subject to fluctuate when he gets bored or competitive or wants to feel in control.

On the Maggot side, Mike and company are obviously unhappy with and wary of Jo, but none of them say anything. Mike does, however, tell Cameron that he did a good job. It’s possible that after the last episode, when the two worked together along with Zoey to get up the hill, Mike has started seeing Cameron as another potential friend, as he rarely interacted with Cameron before, and we know they will continue to interact more in future episodes. Zoey says he’s “always encouraging Cameron”, implying that he does this off-screen as well, since (correct me if I’m wrong) this is the first time Mike has directly encouraged Cameron specifically. Mike says that Zoey’s all he thinks about when he’s in control, then laughs nervously, as if he’s afraid this joke is too personal or unrelatable or odd. When Zoey goes missing, Mike notices immediately, and begins to panic; the person he’s most attached to here, his only real friend right now, has just left him alone, and the anxiety is all-consuming. He’s worried about her, and probably also scared of being left alone with the rest of the team, who he’s not as close to. I’m going to draw the line here and say that I think Mike might have social anxiety, just in my personal opinion as someone who also has social anxiety. He’s hyper-aware, afraid of what others think of him, and heavily attached with one or two people. He’s also, apparently, very loyal and protective. He abandons the rest of the group to find Zoey despite the challenge, and is relentless when looking for her in a way that no one else in the challenge has been or will be later.

When Brick goes missing, Mike is concerned for him, as are Cameron and Anne Maria; it’s unclear whether this is because they care for him, they’re scared of missing as well, or a mixture of the two. When Anne Maria stands up to Jo for having a bad attitude, Mike also finds the courage to join her. Having someone who’ll agree with him or make the first move once again gives him a sense of confidence to voice his opinion and, assuming he had Brick in mind like Anne Maria, defend the people he (possibly) cares about without as much fear. Shortly after, he injures himself looking for Zoey; once again, he puts those he cares about above himself, but himself over the layman.

After Vito fronts for a while, Mike suddenly takes over when he hears Zoey cry out for help and attempts to save her instead of winning. His care for others (Zoey specifically but he could generally be concerned for everyone considering the state of affairs [big spider]) triumphs his need for victory, which again lends credence to the theory that he’s on Total Drama for social reasons more so than monetary ones. In the meantime, Scott’s unabashedly upset about winning the challenge, but again, appears concerned for Brick when he begins crying. When Brick’s switched to the Toxic Rats, Mike, Cameron, and Anne Maria are visibly shocked and upset, showing that they probably did genuinely care for him, making it more possible that loyalty to Brick factored into him standing up to Jo earlier.

In episode five, we start with Scott having a nightmare about a shark (Fang). He’s soon woken up by Brick’s alarm clock, though he’s not grateful for this; in fact, he begins punching the alarm clock as a demonstration of what he’s going to do to Brick later. Is it possible, then, that Scott would rather live in a nightmare, a place of strife and fear, than in a reality where he’s experienced a harmless transgression? Per freaking chance. Shortly after, Scott begins stealing from other players to frame Brick. It’s unclear whether this is because he’s mad at Brick for the alarm clock incident, or whether he recognizes Brick as a weak link on the team. Either way, this is probably the most premeditation we’ve seen from Scott, as his plan continues to develop throughout the episode, versus how he normally takes an action right after coming up with it to immediate success or failure.

During the challenge, Scott tells Brick to prove his loyalty to the team. There are many reasons he might have done this. One is because it’s simply fun to him; he might like seeing Brick squirm. Another is to gauge his actual loyalty and scope out his strengths/weaknesses to exploit them later. Once again, this could be a combination of the two; Scott doesn’t think highly of Brick, but he seems amused by him being a “doofus”. And after this, we see another instance of Scott ragging on someone (Sam) for being bad at the game despite that working to his advantage. It’s probably another instance of hubris: something along the lines of “I could do better than that; I won’t, but I could”.

Back to Mike, we see an example of him outright lying. Once again, I don’t blame him or necessarily think this makes him a bad person, but he is outwardly dishonest with Zoey when he claims that he just “gets so deep into character that he [doesn’t] know what [he’s doing]”. He promises to stop playing characters if Zoey wants him to, even though he can’t do that, and tells her she’s the most amazing girl in the world. His love for Zoey triumphs over his logic and planning for the future. He’s so desperate to be loved by her that he doesn’t even consider how to make that happen. This is similar to how Scott’s hatred for people or situations trumps his ability to consider consequences, as seen in episode three especially but also throughout the series. Both of them, despite trying to remain calculated and in control, are often so blinded by their emotions that they act or speak on a whim.

It’s at this point that I must inform you that I forgot that Scott accused Brick of stealing while he was underwater, making that his motivation for sending Brick down there. However, I do stand by the point that Scott’s also a bit of a sadistic little freak and just likes being mean, because he is. Sailing along, I also find it interesting how Scott has to whittle when he starts getting bored; another addition to the point that he’s impulsive at times. And returning to Mike, Dawn claims that Mike “likes her a lot” and “it’s all over his aura”. And now it’s at this point that I am becoming increasingly aware that Mike’s kind of just Zoey’s plus-one in terms of characterization and this post is pointless in that right, but I’ll be damned if I don’t stretch his actions thin enough to give him an actual personality, and then do the same for Scott, and then make them yaoi out. Mike’s a person that cares so deeply for people that it permeates his aura, the very essence of his being; his priority is to love people (Zoey) and be loved by people (Zoey).

When Scott finds out that his team got the better boat, despite wanting to lose, he doesn’t miss the opportunity to call them “suckers”. Once again, Scott’s goal is glossed over in favor of being a huge bitch to others. This reminded me of how, similar to how Mike’s a lover and wants to be loved, Scott’s a hater, and I think he might want to be hated. When you think about it, Scott hasn’t done a single kind thing to anyone on the island. He’s never upset when people dislike him, and takes every opportunity to be mean or sarcastic. When he does display a positive emotion, he never tells anyone or joins them in expressing it. Scott seemingly detests having positive relationships, perhaps because he’s simply annoyed and inconvenienced by them, but also perhaps because he’s afraid of losing them or feeling like he’s at the whims of another person’s emotions and wills. And in the end, as we know, Scott’s negative relationships will be his downfall, just like how Mike’s unwillingness to break his positive relationships will be his (as well as, y’know, Scott meddling). While it’s probably unintentional, they’re pretty decent foils for one another.

We get another Scott lore drop when he says that he’s been shooting kitchen rats with his Pappy since he was six. I’m not sure what to make of this really, I just think it’s kind of fucked up to have your kid shoot rats but like I also didn’t grow up in a hunting area so maybe that’s normal and not psychologically damaging. Later, Dawn tells Scott not to fire anymore goals, and he does anyways, to her annoyance. Scott has to know Dawn is suspicious of him, but he can’t resist pissing her off. See, he needs to make people mad; maybe he does this often, maybe he just wants to be on someone’s mind even if it's negative. He eventually tries to get smart about it and he does get her voted off later, but like, hello. This fucking guy. Even though Scott dislikes Dawn, however, he stops Jo and Anne Maria from hurting her after he frames her for stealing. Either he revels in her misery, or he secretly cares about her a bit; this is supported by the fact that she was the only person he didn’t talk about voting off his team in episode four. Anyways, back to Scott being stupid, he openly brags about his knock-off idols as well, when that’s super suspicious; like he really needed to rub salt in the wound that badly. Dawn even refers to him as soulless and sociopathic, and she’s not wrong. He’s so unconcerned with the wellbeing of others, as well as himself. It seems that nothing truly matters to him in the long term, so long as he continues meeting his short term victories in pursuit of what I believe to be an excuse rather than an actual reason. I think that rather than calculating his actions beforehand, Scott acts and creates a justification later, or a justification he can routinely add to. It seems that Scott might’ve picked the Rats because they were close and therefore easy targets. It would make more sense than his actual “plan”. He hurts people and tries to convince himself that he knows why when he probably doesn’t, which is awful but also somewhat tragic. He might not have a real sense of priorities or identity, but tricks himself into thinking otherwise to, once again, give himself more control. Does this make sense? Whatever, we’re like 5763 words in, it doesn't matter anymore.

Back to party sciking, in episode six, we see the formation of Team Men with Scott, Brick, and Lightning (and later, Sam). Scott’s finally making allies, and he doesn’t seem too upset about it. I think this might clue us into the idea that Scott does want positive relationships, but maybe doesn’t consciously understand that. He doesn’t fight Brick or Lightning on this when he normally would. Later, before the challenge, Mike tries to compliment Zoey, and in the confessional, she tells him to pick a side. And I feel like if you twist that enough we can get into bisexual territory, but I digress. Mike’s upset at his alters for ruining his relationship with Zoey, and while that’s true, he totally forgets to take into account that his alters are also people who also deserve access to the body. It’s more important to Mike that he gets what he wants rather than his alters get what they want, and above all, it's important that he maintains a firm grasp on his life with little to no interference. But he doesn’t seem aware of the fact that his alters are people. It’s almost like the personhood of someone can be diminished in service of his goals, and that he can cognitively distance himself from his actions if they become too (for lack of a better word) scary for him. This might sound familiar because it’s kind of what Scott does as well. They both hurt people in order to get what they want, it’s just that Mike’s unaware that he hurts people but aware of what he wants while Scott’s aware that he hurts people but unaware of exactly what he wants.

Zoey talks to Mike again, excited to dress a model, and despite the fact that he’s never shown an interest in fashion, Mike smiles. This is because Zoey’s giving him positive attention again. Mf is a bit of a lapdog to be honest. Scott would probably like someone like that, who’s loyal to a fault. The vision is visioning. Anyways, Mike catches a frog, not much to add but he does do that. Fang tries to catch Scott, and Scott notices and catches him with his own trap. He’s observant. Like Mike. They observe each other. Gay style. Scott also grins when Brick proposes a plan and creates an explosive. While Scott’s probably excited to see it blow up in his face, I like to think Scott also admires him a bit, adding to the idea that he secretly likes some aspects of his peers and just won’t express it. Mike tells Anne Maria that the maggot looks bad, which is slightly uncharacteristic of him but okay. He and Anne Maria were friendly before; maybe he’s trying to pull back in service of making Zoey feel better. He’s kind of destroying this sort-of friendship because he likes Zoey so much. Adding to this, he appears excited when Zoey says she wants to dress the maggot. He appears nervous when Jo argues with Anne Maria as well; whether this is because he still cares about Anne Maria despite everything or because he’s afraid of conflict/Jo is unclear.

It’s at this point that Scott begins manipulating Zoey. Just put a pin in that. Scott and Mike stand next to each other, if that’s anything? They also move similarly, like they’re subconsciously mimicking each other. Do you understand how difficult it is to write about Scike when it's episode six and the most they’ve actually interacted is standing near each other and looking in the same direction? Scott’s impressed by Sam, which is nice; he actually admires something about someone. I think being around people who he subconsciously wants to be friends with is making him slightly more willing to play the game and be nice to people in his own way. He even looks concerned when the yeti throws Sam, and again when the Maggots lose, like he doesn’t want to vote anyone out.

IT’S FREAKING TEAM SWAP TIME BABY THEY’RE ON THE SAME TEAM WAHOO!! Mike is immediately concerned, the most concerned out of the maggots. This is in part due to him approaching Zoey, but don’t forget, Mike thinks Scott’s off, he notices the things that he does and the way he behaves. Oh BABY he needs to save his friends from this guy, I smell a hero complex brewing.

In episode seven, the teams go into the mines. About eight minutes in, Mike finds a hat and excitedly explains that he’s always wanted one, to which Scott makes fun of him for being a “hat loving loser”. This is an uncharacteristically lame insult, which makes me think that Scott already has a distaste for Mike and is looking for any reason to insult him; this is probably because he knows that Mike’s onto him, and he doesn’t enjoy the mortifying ideal of being known. And it’ll ruin his plan or whatever. Later in the challenge, when Manitoba and Cameron are separated from Anne Maria, Zoey, and Scott, Scott tries to pin the split on Mike to get him booted. We can assume that Scott sees Mike as the biggest threat on his new team.

Later, Mike carries Cameron on his back to safety, and says that he hopes Zoey’s okay, despite him also being exposed to radiation. He thanks Cameron for coming back from him and calls him a friend. He’s just, so loyal to them, I don’t think I can say that enough. His friends mean so much to him. And I think Scott could see that and relate to it a bit, because instead of continuing to badger him, he suggests they lose the packs and find Anne Maria. The two of them, along with Zoey and Cameron, all look annoyed at Chris for not helping them, and Scott follows Mike as he leads the team to Anne Maria. I think it’s interesting that Scott stays with them even as the situation becomes life-threatening, and he even shares their surprise when the other team grabs their statue. The two of them run together to grab the statue and they both look happy to find it, even though Scott supposedly wants to lose. Maybe in this life threatening situation, they found an odd sort of comfort in and appreciation for one another, just for a brief moment. And despite knowing what Scott’s like, Mike trusts him with the statue as he runs off to save Zoey and Cameron, putting his own life in danger. This was obviously a mistake, as Scott throws it out, but for a second, it seemed like Scott was happy for him, when it was just him and Mike.

So Mike starts literally fucking dying defending his friends. Away from Scike, back to Mike prime, he’s about to be killed by the moles, has every chance to run for himself, and his radiation poisoning is getting worse by the second. But he still stayed behind to defend them. The situation got so dangerous that he even tried to tell Zoey about his DID, before Brick saved them. And that’s just??? SO fucking bananas holy shit. He cares about them so much, I dunno what to say. That’s his defining character trait and his fatal flaw, defending others; and it works even better juxtaposed with Scott, who’s defining trait and fatal flaw is only caring about himself. Foaming at the freaking MOUTH dude. He’s got issues, sure, but man he’s so sweet, love him. After this he’s the first person to confront Chris about this not being about the statues, but rather the mine; he’s more than likely upset that Chris put his friends in danger, especially for these ulterior motives. He’s so upset on their behalf, not even his own, that he stands up to the man who almost got him killed.

After this ordeal, Cameron confronts Mike about having DID. In his fear, Mike’s quick to ask who told him that. He’s afraid, first and foremost, that other people know and are talking about him; afraid that this has made him somehow unlikable or unlovable. At the mention of being able to control it, he’s overjoyed, and immediately agrees to help get rid of Scott. Scott’s the first person outside of Mike’s system who he’s been willing to genuinely disadvantage for his own goals. So Mike does not like Scott. But I feel like it’s an oddly intimate dislike. He dislikes him so personally, understands him so thoroughly with such disdain, for such little personal transgressions, that he’s willing to throw him under the bus to regain control over his situation. That’s special in a way, Scott’s the only person Mike would do that to. And considering how Scott treats everyone with hate as a way to cover his actual wants for human connection, and he hates Mike more than anyone else on the team, I feel like it’s safe to say they have strong mutual negative feelings in a way neither of them have experienced before. In a weird way, right now, with Mike having a sway over the team, he’s kind of more in control than he’s ever been. I can’t explain it, but the way they hurt each other goes beyond average contempt to me. In real life, yes, you shouldn’t hate someone that you have romantic feelings for; but I think something like this in fiction blurs the lines with intensity in regard for one another. It’s a blending of concepts. Lois it insists upon itself, but in a fun and intriguing way. I love when characters hate each other with the intensity and obsession that other characters love each other with.

It’s 2:40 AM and I just hit my pen so I could really lock in for these last two episodes before Mike’s eliminated but idk if it’s going to work.

In episode eight, we start off with the teams on the rafts. Scott comes up looking anxious about getting eaten by a shark, and Mike returns the expression, and says that the shark will never find them. This could be Mike comforting himself or comforting Zoey and Cameron, but do you know what it could also be? Comforting Scott. The person he’s responding to. Mike and Scott don’t like each other, but Scott still came to Mike first, and Mike still had it in him not to shame or ignore him. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Absolutely.

At this point, Cameron explains to the audience what causes each of Mike’s alters to front: Vito fronts when the body is shirtless, Svetlana fronts when there’s a physical challenge, Chester fronts when frustrated, and Manitoba fronts when the body’s wearing a hat. I’m not sure what to make of Manitoba’s trigger(?), but the others make it apparent that Mike isn’t able to handle or is rarely able to handle physical challenges, frustration, or being shirtless by himself. And this is where I should talk about Mike’s trauma, probably. I’m not going to get too into things here because I’m not an expert on DID and also it could be mildly upsetting, but DID develops due to repeated early childhood trauma and different alters may be better equipped to handle certain feelings, tasks, relationships, or memories than others. Mike had to have experienced this repeated trauma and it likely had some sort of physical component, considering Vito’s triggered by the removal of the shirt and he mentions in his character bio that he doesn’t have any good childhood memories besides maybe riding his bike. This, as well as the rejection we discussed earlier, explains a lot about Mike’s personality unfortunately. He’s used to being hurt, and seeks control, stability, and love for that reason. He’s loyal and quick to form attachments because he probably didn’t/doesn’t have any at home. And he’s self-preserving and protective and aware of his surroundings because of this as well, because he has to be. We don’t know exactly what happened in Mike’s life, though there is an “Uncle Vinny” in his character bio (mentioned by Vito) and it is possible that Chester is an introject of an older relative. Regardless, it doesn’t matter. I would like to return to Scott for a moment, and renew the topic of his home life. We’ve discussed how Scott’s family probably isn’t well off, doesn’t show him enough affection, and likely never disciplined him in a way that stuck considering how he behaves. And his father encouraging him to kill rats for him doesn’t sound great either. Like Mike, it would make sense for Scott to have an unstable/unhealthy home life, and for that to translate in his characters. He also needs power over other people, he pushes away people and refuses to make friends, he has patterns of violence, and he’s fast to learn what makes people tick.

Back to the scene, Zoey starts by complimenting Mike, which he’s excited about (need for approval, ok). However, he becomes nervous when she says it feels like he’s hiding from her. Then when Dakota starts mutating, Mike is the first to diffuse the situation by stating that her hair is growing back. He also leads the charge in pulling the sign out of the raft. After Dakota throws out the sign, Mike also says that they have to get in the water instead. When Scott reminds him about the shark and tries to refuse, Mike shoves him into the water, annoyed. It’s sort of fascinating how much more dominating Mike is in this episode compared to others. Maybe almost dying (or rather, almost losing his friends) in the mine changed him. Or maybe he has more confidence now that he’s the strongest person in his friend group and he doesn’t care what Scott thinks of him, evident by him forcing Scott into the water when he never would’ve done that to someone else. Mike, again, tells the team to stay quiet to avoid provoking the kraken. Man is going off this episode. He’s instantly annoyed when Scott starts freaking out over the shark, he’s so done dealing with this man that he can’t handle it and Chester takes over. Dude they’re soooo in hate. <3 After this, Scott is irate over his team winning, more than he’s ever been before. His feelings are so strong that he’s focusing extra hard on this faux-goal to destroy his own team. Mike’s also upset because the challenge is dangerous, “even by [Chris’] standards”, probably because the last challenge was also ridiculously dangerous and he’s worried about a repeat.

While Mike and Cameron go ahead to win the challenge at Mike’s behest, Scott talks to Zoey. He knows that Mike has a secret just by watching them, and lets Zoey in on this to manipulate her. After this, Mike and Cameron tell Zoey that Scott’s bad news in return, and she claims that he still has a heart. Mike is saddened by the fact that Zoey trusts Scott more than him, and I just think that’s such a…thing to happen. In trying to keep Zoey close by hiding his DID, he just pushed her away more, towards someone who’s so similar to him yet so different as well. We find out from Cameron that Mike fronts when Zoey’s in danger, because he cares about her that much. Scott also steals the team’s compass from Mike and frames him for losing it, blaming him if they come in last, but he fails when Dakota clears the forest of thorns. Scott keeps losing to someone who should be so easy to beat and who represents everything that he hates: kindness, loyalty, and people who stand up to him. Meanwhile, Mike’s alters are becoming increasingly hard to control, and he’s still unwilling to admit to having DID, afraid this will dissolve the relationship that’s already crumbling due to him not revealing it; he’s stuck in an Ouroboros of fear. Scott, immediately after this, seems to be mocking Mike, loudly saying to Zoey, “Would I lie to you?” Scott just knows how to push this guy’s buttons in the perfect way to piss him off.

When Scott loses the challenge for them, Mike’s probably the most upset we’ve ever heard him, at least in my opinion. He doesn’t hesitate to let Scott know that he fucked up and that Mike thinks he’s full of shit. Mike tries to get Zoey to vote for Scott, done with this charade; Scott feels the same about playing around like this, and gets Cameron to admit that Mike has DID— but he doesn’t want Mike out yet, he wants to toy with him some more. You can see the horror in his face when Scott pulls out the idol. In order for Dakota to go home, it couldn’t have just been Zoey to vote for her, and Mike and Cameron voted for Scott, and Dakota probably didn’t vote for herself. Scott had to have either voted with her, or voted for himself for fun; but irregardless, he didn’t vote for Mike, even though he’s clearly Scott’s biggest target. He doesn’t just want Mike out, but wants to use him first, something we haven’t seen before. And yes, this is because Scott’s a bad person, and taking advantage of his weaknesses; but having his weaknesses known and used by someone would be a sort of ideal scenario for Mike, despite also being his literal nightmare. He doesn’t have to hide from Scott at all, Scott’s probably the only person that Mike can fully be mad at and confront about that anger. Which is very fucked up, but also oddly close, I guess. It’s a unique relationship, it’s interesting to me. The mortifying yet somewhat comforting ideal of being known going both ways. Toxic yaoi. Hate as an allegory for love. Y’know, the usual.

The toxic yaoi continues in episode nine baby, we freaking made it. The first line that catches my eye (or ear I guess) is “Multiple Mike thinks he’s a ladies man, what a loser”. First of all, reeks of gay thoughts and unaware jealousy; but second of all, notice how Scott and Mike continuously get more and more openly aggressive with one another. They’re falling into a routine with it, almost.

This is where Scott introduces the deal— AKA, starts blackmailing Mike to help him win the challenge. Mike’s incredibly upset, and even considers telling Zoey about his DID, but is ultimately still too afraid. He’d rather be used than be abandoned. During the challenge, Mike tries to quip back at Scott for telling him to look in the broom closet, but retracts it when Scott threatens to tell Zoey. He tries to look tough to Scott, but fails. And when Zoey’s in trouble, Scott refuses to let him help her, in favor of making him go through the trash. Like with everyone, Scott likes to see Mike squirm, but I think he’s best at it with Mike, and the most enthusiastic about it too.

I’d also like to mention here that Mike just kind of gives up and lets Scott pick him up and carry him. Just saying idk you know when you just pick up some guy who you hate instead of making him actually fight for you or run in front of you or whatever. Mike also snarks Scott when his car doesn’t work, which, ok, go off King. Mike finally stands up for himself to help Zoey, the desire to protect her stronger than his fear, but Scott remembers how to trigger Vito to front and uses this to his advantage.

So, at this point, Vito gets clobbered and Mike has the fight with his alters, and it’s soooo bad, it’s so bad dude. They’re all fighting for control as if the moral isn’t that they should work together, it’s ridiculous, but I guess it also makes sense for Mike to be pushed to this considering everything? Glossing over this, anyways, Mike finally comes clean to Zoey and explains that he didn’t want Zoey to think badly of him. And I know everyone hates this scene, I hate this scene, “multiples just means there’s more Mike to —” yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck off idc that’s not how it works. But at least I think it does help draw a final parallel between Mike’s relationships with Zoey and Scott along with Scott eliminating him. Mike’s able to pursue his loving relationship with Zoey through her finding out about his closest secret, and Mike and Scott similarly are able to freely insult each other and develop this toxic almost-codependent-but-Scott’s-way-worse relationship because they also know each other, they know they’re hiding something and they’re familiar with each other’s personalities because hate drives them to look so deeply into each other. Mike gains Zoey and loses his dynamic with Scott, and vice versa, back and forth. These relationships can’t coexist, both because they’re so polarizing but also so similar in their intensity.

I didn’t watch the entirety of episodes ten through thirteen because it’s 4 AM and this is a Scike post, a 9274 word Scike post. But I did scrub through them and I would like to throw out there the Icarus imagery in episode ten when Zoey burns Scott for what he did to Mike, like Scott got too close to the sun or too in over his head, and Mike was his ultimate downfall. I’m also just going to skitter on past the “Mike makes fun of Scott while he’s in the trauma chair” because what the fuck. What was that.

The relationship between Mike and Scott in canon is, admittedly, less significant in canon than it is in my head, and less well-written and intriguing than I pretend it is, and it’s not healthy, and no matter how I spin it they never actually made up or understood each other in a major tangible way. But I think they should have. I think having them be characters who begrudgingly understand each other and care for each other in a way they don’t acknowledge or even recognize would give them some much-needed depth and maybe consistency. Scott in canon has no close relationships, and the two that Mike has weren’t necessarily great throughout the season even though I like to think that they are. It would be good for them. Adding a few more layers to each of them would explain a lot about their goals, their mannerisms, the contradictions in their personalities; it would make them both more sympathetic and relatable, into some maladjusted teenagers looking for an outlet rather than just a good guy and a bad guy who hate each other.

In conclusion, this post didn’t make much sense, and it was kind of a waste of time. But it was fun to think about these guys, and I could fix them, and also they’re more toxic in canon than first thought but I’m not necessarily complaining, because what’s a character without conflict and what’s a story without a theme? I didn’t edit or organize it, this was more or less my notes from rewatching the first nine episodes of ROTI. I’m aware it was super repetitive and rambly but I don’t have the time or energy to clean it up so, make of them what you will. Maybe this gave you a new perspective on Mike and Scott, maybe it didn’t, I dunno, I’m indifferent now, perchance. Like and subscribe for more Party Sciking. I need them to hold hands and wear the get along shirt and go to therapy. This ended up being more or less 9,738 words. Hope everything’s right in this, let me know your thoughts but please don’t tell me if you hate it. Goodnight Miami.

#alex’s td rambles #total drama #td scike #throws this to you. i don't remember half of what i wrote here #take a shot every time i say control or trust or power or annoy or smile or love or #cw abuse mentions #just in case #also i hope i got the psych stuff right i promise i did research #cw toxic relationship

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waitmyturtles · 10 months

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: YYY, and When BL Talks About BL Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I examine the success -- or not? -- of Cheewin Thanamin’s YYY and what the show does by way of macro-level commentary on the BL genre.]

Alright, so YYY! It would be VERY EASY to write this show off. Maybe the old Turtles of the early OGMMTVC would have done just that (exhibit A: SOTUS, which I’m thinking about revisiting in a wrap-up piece after the OGMMTVC is done, thanks to Krist and his fantastic acting in Be My Favorite).

But I’ve learned my lesson. There’s a LOT going on with YYY that makes it absolutely worthy of inclusion on the OGMMTVC list. It was @absolutebl Sensei themself that made the case for YYY, especially in ABL Sensei noting my interest in Cheewin’s emotional filmmaking trajectory from Make It Right/MIR2, to Secret Crush On You, to Bed Friend. I thank you, ABL Sensei, for pointing me in this direction to see this *other* side of Cheewin!

So why do I think YYY is important on the OGMMTVC list? It’s a short, VERY CHAOTIC, VERY UNEXPECTED six-episode series that focuses on two roommates, Not (Yoon Phusanu) and Pun (Lay Talay), who fall for each other in short order in the midst of a wild and inexplicable living environment. They’re supported by their fellow apartment-mates, Ohm (Pee Peerawich, most recently of La Pluie) and Arm (Scott Satapong), and most importantly, are living under the VERY watchful eye of their probably-transgender building manager, Porpla, played by THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE actor in Poppy Ratchapong. OMFG. More on Poppy in a bit. (OMFG, Poppy. I’m in LUV.)

I’ll break down the importance of YYY in the following order:

1a) Who exactly is the writing team of Fluke Teerapat and Tanachot Prapasri, and why are they important (I’m actually going to try to figure this out along with the rest of y’all, and hopefully if folks have more info, they can chime in!), 1b) What did director Cheewin Thanamin bring by way of past vision to YYY to explain the show’s composition, 2) Why the show’s subject matter actually serves as critical commentary to what was happening with the BL genre vis à vis the association of BL and romance, 3) A quick deep-dive on the EXCELLENT acting we saw in YYY, and why that’s also important to the show as a whole,

and, as always, possibly more. Let’s do this.

So, Fluke Teerapat and Tanachot Prapasri. I’ve tried to find more information on these two dudes to some avail, but my quick analysis of their work really stems from MDL, Fluke’s past acting career, and analytical conjecture about why they wrote YYY and what they wrote after YYY.

As we know, the guys of these broad circles -- New Siwaj and his Studio Wabi Sabi, Cheewin and his Copy A Bangkok studio, Fluke and Tanachot as writers, and many, many others -- are, generally speaking, of a community of BL creators that are outside the usual GMMTV circles. (I’ve written about this before -- while my project is called the Old GMMTV Challenge, with the goal of digging into how we’ve ended up with GMMTV’s current standard of BLs, the list features quite a few non-GMMTV BLs, as I believe art is always speaking to art, no matter where it’s published.) (And, I am sure most of you are familiar with this, but if not, there are master lists of the history of Thai BL studios out there.)

I note the non-GMMTV affiliation of these guys, because -- some of these guys, like New and Tee Bundit, actually contract with GMMTV for specific shows, like A Boss and a Babe and Hidden Agenda, respectively. Fluke Teerapat himself was a pre-BL actor in the 2014 movie My Bromance with Fluke Natouch (so many cute Flukes, amirite), and also acted in GMMTV’s FIRST BL in SOTUS -- Fluke Teerapat played Wad, who was maybe? hopefully? kinda? indicated to be shipped with the older Prem (Gunsmile Chanagun).

I’ll add two more points to consider here as I continue to sit with the influence that Fluke, Tanachot, and Cheewin brought to YYY: Firstly, GMMTV BLs, up to YYY’s moment in 2020 generally asked for romance in their shows. Again, that’s a generalization. (I don’t think Theory of Love fits in this category.) But considering what had come out on GMMTV CLOSELY PREVIOUSLY to YYY’s airing -- 2gether and Still 2gether -- GMMTV was riding a romance high, and counting their massive BrightWin dollars.

Secondly, YYY is the first piece on the OGMMTVC list that features Cheewin Thanamin as a solo director. Going backwards, as we know, Cheewin’s previous work on BLs including co-writing, co-directing, and acting in Make It Right and Make It Right 2, and he was a writer on Love Sick, season 2, and was a guest actor on Love Sick, season 1.

Putting this all together: at least Fluke and Cheewin have utterly tremendous histories with the literal birth of the BL genre, Cheewin outside of the GMMTV circles with Love Sick and Make It Right/MIR2, and Fluke beginning his career as an actor in GMMTV’s first BL, AND first HUGE BL.

Cheewin and Fluke have had front-row seats to the development of the BL genre, seeing and understanding what fans, studios, producers, and major networks in GMMTV, Channel 9, Channel 3, and others, demand and expect out of the genre and the dramas by way of fan service, shipper culture, romantic storylines, tropes -- all of it. Cheewin and Fluke have been around for a MINUTE. They clearly HAVE critical viewpoints about BL, and are not afraid to scrutinize the genre in their works, which is what happened in YYY.

I’m going to get confusing for a second to jump to the closer present for my next analytical point: what else have Fluke Teerapat and Tanachot Prapasri written?

They’ve written My Ride (2022) and La Pluie (2023). I haven’t watched either of them yet, but I am damn glad that I’ll be watching them after the OGMMTVC is done, in their chronological order, and I already can’t wait to write about them. Because what I bet is that I’ll see what intelligence and scrutiny Fluke and Tanachot had leveraged in YYY, the cutting criticisms about BL they lined YYY with, and then took the sharpness of their writing and the critical viewpoints they have ABOUT the BL genre to My Ride and La Pluie, two beloved BLs that are lauded for their directness in structure and storytelling.

In Cheewin, Fluke, and Tanachot, we have a team of creators that’s not afraid to be critical about the genre in which they’re operating. Now -- this take, this perspective, can sometimes work well (I’m eagerly awaiting Tee Bundit’s Lovely Writer on the OGMMTVC list, as I understand he takes this macro approach in LW), and in other times, it does not work well at all (exhibit B: Tee Bundit’s Step By Step, rant linked).

YYY took a lot of risks. It was a weird show. It didn’t... quite make sense. But it was clearly designed to criticize what we, as fans, usually expect out of BLs, including clean and romantic storylines and happy endings.

Episodes 5 and 6 of YYY fully explained to me the show’s purpose. First off: BLs are jobs for the actors. The ships are not real. And YYY states as much. Pun is considering quitting his job as a shipped half of a boy-couple, and his acting partner isn’t having it.

In episode 6 -- before Not and Pun go to space? -- we get two screen quotes of the life of YYY itself.

The world that Porpla operated in the apartment building where Not, Pun, and their neighbors lived was chaotic precisely BECAUSE of Porpla, and what Porpla demanded out of the human behavior around them. Porpla could only be appeased, as an obsessed yaoi fan (LOL), with the confirmation that Not and Pun were together and dating. If that’s not a metaphor for fan and network demands out of BLs and ships, then I don’t know what is. AND: those demands CERTAINLY create chaos, especially for the individual creators and performers associated with BLs. (I didn’t take screenshots of Porpla’s INSANE outfits, but really, the chaos of YYY stemmed and centered around Porpla -- and Poppy Ratchapong’s ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE performance of Porpla).

While watching YYY -- Porpla, the Chinese brothers, the coffee and janitor couple, all the flashbacks, Not’s hilarious and nonsensical sign-offs (omg, I was gagging with laughter) -- I was reminded of Lukmo and Yok in Make It Right, especially in Make It Right 2. New and Cheewin did some crazy shit with Mo and Yok, especially their confusingly edited and strangely metaphorical sex scenes. Mo and Yok were chaotic right up until their open and tender moments about their emotionality to each other.

At the time of my watching Make It Right 2, I noted that it seemed to me like Mo and Yok suffered from editing fumbles, which I think is still accurate. But now that I’ve watched YYY, I also might want to theorize (I wonder what you think of this, @lurkingshan), that Mo and Yok might have been specifically written BY CHEEWIN himself, AND that the chaos and strangeness of their metaphorical intimacy (like, sexual food metaphors using mortars and pestles, it still scars me, ha) may have been specifically designed to serve as a mirror against the more straightfoward (but still chaotic) romantic ships in TeeFuse and FrameBook. I’m not ENTIRELY sure. But I think I can feel confident in theorizing that what New and Cheewin were doing in MIR was to add a gentle question about whether EVERY ship working in a BL is worth it. (I think New touches on this in Love By Chance vis à vis TinCan.) And I think Cheewin furthers that question in YYY vis à vis Not and Pun -- who, spoiler alert, do not end up together at the end of YYY. They end up in space. Yeah, totally.

(I just want to note here that a major reason why Cheewin in particular is such an important person to focus on for the OGMMTVC is that chaos is not his ONLY bag. As I noted in my MIR2 review and earlier above, Cheewin has a SEPARATE perspective that he’s explored in multiple shows — the journey of queer joy. We have seen marriage proposals from FrameBook in MIR2 and KingUea in Bed Friend. While chaos is…chaotic, I love that Cheewin has MULTIPLE THEMES that he explores in his works, and he’s not necessarily *beholden* to them in any one of his shows. Unlike Tee Bundit, Cheewin may not be held back by funding issues, and *can* dabble in non-romance structures. But from what I’ve seen of his art by way of romance — he does those structures beautifully as well, ending at least MIR2 and Bed Friend in glorious happiness. Again, I really appreciate @absolutebl Sensei recognizing these two different tracks in recommending YYY to me.)

Anyway, listen. YYY is home to micro- on macro-commentary about the BL genre and BL’s resulting questions and chaos, using chaos itself as a storytelling tool. Porpla is THE entity, the über-fan, the symbol of CULTURAL PRESSURE for BLs to WORK and PLAY in happy endings, when happy endings might not exactly be what filmmakers like Cheewin really want to achieve all the time (see above). I appreciated that time was actually taken to explain to Porpla that Not and Pun were not going to be together. I gotta say that I commend Cheewin, Fluke, and Tanachot for playing hardily in this sandbox, clearly having fun doing it, in such wild fashion.

AND: I MUST give Yoon, Lay, Pee, and especially Poppy their flowers. They acted the hell out of this show. Yoon had me DYING with laughter at his nonsense monologues at the end. Pee is clearly one well-rounded actor, handling comedy crazy well, and I can’t WAITTTTTTT to see him in La Pluie (cc @wen-kexing-apologist).

But this post and the performance of this show ultimately belongs to Poppy Ratchapong. When I first late-night liveblogged about YYY and I was like, POPPPPYYY, the HOMESLICE @dribs-and-drabbles came THRU with a post celebrating Poppy that had me SILENTLY DYING on a work Zoom call with them abs, DAMN! LOL. FAMILY: I MEAN, if you’re gonna watch YYY, you’re gonna watch it for Poppy as Porpla. His Porpla was SO wild, SO chaotic, SO emotionally (UN)balanced, SO insane, SO crisp, SO controlled in their manipulation, I mean. Porpla will definitely be in my top 10 list of favorite OGMMTV characters. Poppy did Porpla’s wild identity utterly solid.

(YET ANOTHER REASON to criticize Step By Step: an underutilized Poppy! I can’t wait to see Poppy in Lovely Writer, and I have GOT to watch Cutie Pie after this project is done.)

YYY was an experiment in macro-level commentary on BL. It was definitely fun, confounding, confusing AF, but I had a lot of fun with it. I’ve proven that I don’t have to like the shows for them to belong to the OGMMTVC syllabus, but I didn’t NOT like YYY. I enjoyed it a lot, and for the sake of seeing this wild side of Cheewin in definitive form -- and to also see the roots of Fluke and Tanachot’s writing before My Ride and La Pluie -- it is absolutely worthy of belonging on the OGMMTVC list.

[Okay! I’m ahead on my watchlist below, as I’ve already watched Manner of Death -- that review is dropping next week. And I am ALL kinds of nostalgic and warmly weepy for A Tale of Thousand Stars -- I am soooo glad I am spoiling myself for some awesome rewatches during this project.

Quick note: in my review of 2gether and Still 2gether, I noted that I wanted to pen another pain-related Big Meta on pain, trust, and separation in BLs. I was going to originally write it on Still 2gether, Bad Buddy, and Until We Meet Again, but of course -- ATOTS also has a classic example of separation. So I’m going to hold off on writing this at least until I’m done with ATOTS, and/or when my life calms down a bit in the fall.

Speaking of life calming down, my August is going to be IN.SANE., so I will do my best to keep up on the watching and the writing. Pour one out for me, y’all!

Status of the watchlist below. I made an addition, btw! I added Be My Favorite, which a lot of us are currently watching. GMMTV going so far as to make a show in part as über-commentary on half of its first HUGE BL ship in Krist? That is MAD worthy of inclusion. And, it’s a great fucking show. Any feedback on this, let a gal know!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 17) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 19) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) 20) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review coming) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (watching) 23) Lovely Writer (2021) 24) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 29) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 30) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 31) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 32) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 33) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 34) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 35) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 36) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 37) Bed Friend (2023) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) (tag here) 38) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) (watching)]

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thecelestialsyzygy · 1 year

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I feel like this needs to be said because of all the stuff happening lately. Apologies if this post is a mess.

I want to thank all of the Byler’s who post in the tag. Whether it be shit posts, memes, long analysis, random thoughts, or all of the above mixed in with posts about your life; Thank you for being here and making fandom fun! The tag has been a mess recently and I think we’re all aware of that because of all the recent deactivations. There’s always been a bit of toxicity in the Stranger Things fandom (as there is in just about all other fandoms), but I feel it's been amplified here due to the lack of content and long wait. Another reason it’s a lot more prominent in the Stranger Things fandom, to begin with, is because of its popularity. In the coming months, we should see some things regarding S5 come up for us to talk about, but if you’re not into leaks then you’re in for an even longer drought (and when it comes to said leaks, please take them with a grain of salt).

I originally came here from Twitter so I’ve seen a lot. Ppl leaving isn’t new to me, and it is a pretty common thing with fandoms in general. Sometimes it’s over something simple, like ppl losing their interest, and other times it’s because ppl don’t know how to use the block button and want to be rude, hateful, and harass others into leaving, or cause/insert themselves into drama for entertainment. It’s understandable to be bored during droughts and perhaps become irritable, but if you like creating/being in drama, please don’t put it in the main tag. Not everybody is going to agree and it is what it is. Some posts you may agree with, some posts you may not, some you may partly agree with, some you may partly disagree with. If you ever come across something that really bothers you, big or small, just use the block button or mute/filter things you don’t want to see. You can always make your own post sharing your thoughts about whatever the topic may have been. There are so many ways to control content you consume. It’s important to remember we’re all here for a good time, so let ppl have fun and learn to draw a line.

It’s OK to be opinionated, but I think some things that are important to note is the difference between head-canons and canon. Head-canons are personal interpretations about a character. It’s not ACTUALLY canon. Some head-canons can be based off of things that ARE canon, but it’s important to realize that it’s still NOT ACTUALLY canon. Canon is confirmed. It’s OK to not agree with somebody else’s head-canon, but it’s not a reason to be rude to them. You can share your own opinions with them in a respectful way or separately. However, I feel like some ppl want to make things problematic to further push their narrative or are genuinely just not educated enough. And of course there are exceptions to just about everything, like potentially problematic head-canons which I think is OK to have discussions about, but once again, that’s why we need to learn to draw a line.

I also know hate anons have been a problem lately. If you’re ever getting a lot of hate anons, please don’t be afraid to protect yourself and turn off the anon feature/not allow asks. If that doesn’t work don’t be afraid to block and report. If none of these are working, just know it’s OK if you feel like social media is becoming too much. Take a break if you need to, distance yourself if you need to, make a completely new account if you need to. You can always let the ppl who care about you know you need to go away for awhile.

Lastly, don’t feel pressure to post! That’s one way to add a lot of stress onto yourself and become tired of your interests. I promise everything is going to be fine and Byler’s/ the Stranger Things fandom will always be here if/when you come back.

#byler #byler s5 #stranger things 5 #will byers #mike wheeler #byler tumblr

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endingboyhansel · 8 months

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Welcome back to this whole analysis business. Today we’re talking about Alan Partridge and his repressed bisexuality. He’s definitely an interesting character to talk about when it comes to his attitudes with anyone queer!

I’ve probably missed out other stuff, or gotten things wrong, so if that’s the case, feel free to add on or correct me!

It is no surprise to anyone that has seen the Alan Partridge franchise that Alan in his early days is a bigot. He occasionally followed remarks with “and please don’t write in saying that is [discrimination], it’s not” and has a general very dislikable attitude towards those that are minorities. Later on in the franchise he does adopt a much more polite attitude, though keeps quite a bit of stereotypes when discussing minority groups.

His attitude towards queer people, however, is very interesting. Alan describes himself as a “homoskeptic” - thinly veiling homophobia - and acts negatively towards Glen Ponder when he finds out he’s gay. Alan has also shown transphobia, such as dismissing a trans woman on KMKYWAP - though in more recent shows he seems to have become more relaxed.

However despite this open attitude, Alan has a lot of telling facts about him that hint towards the fact he is heavily repressed in his own sexuality.

Let’s talk first about his attitude to trans people. In the I'm Alan Partridge episode Watership Alan, it is revealed Alan watched a short bit of a porno film titled “Bangkok Chickboys” to which he denies to the staff of the hotel. As the conversation goes on, it becomes more and more obvious that Alan watched this on purpose.

Now it’s important to understand the meaning of “chickboy”. Chickboy in this refers to the term kathoey. In English it has two meanings - trans women or effeminate gay men. In Thailand, the term can also mean being intersex.

Another thing of note is that the term is also named “ladyboy” and this is how they are referred to throughout the series. It is made very clear that the meaning of “ladyboy” to Alan is trans women. Alan seems to express some sexual interest, if the above example and his fascination suffice.

—

One of the biggest mysteries of I'm Alan Partridge is what is in the drawer of Alan’s desk.

Episode 1: Lynn: For example, in this drawer… (opens the drawer and pauses, shocked) You, er… you have, er, things, and um… sometimes, you have too many things. (Later in the conversation) Alan: They were there when I moved in.

While Armando Iannucci says that the contents of Alan’s drawer are of magazines of fat women on the toilet (in Dutch) this doesn’t really seem to make sense given Alan’s disgust of “water sports”.

Steve Coogan, Alan’s actor, says in contrast in the commentary for the show that the contents of the drawer is a plastic cock.

However it should be important to know that it was never decided what was really in the drawer. Honestly it’s completely up to interpretation of the viewer, though it very much leans towards something that implies Alan’s repressed sexuality.

Throughout season 1 of IAP, Alan has daydreams where he is acting as a stripper for someone important, most of the time Tony Hayers. Alan seems perfectly willing to let himself act this way in these daydreams, despite the fact that in the real world he has a clear hatred for these people.

Episode 1: Daydream Alan: Would you like me to lap dance for you? Daydream Hayers: (offers money) Daydream Alan: Nuh-uh. I want a second series.

Alan seems to also have some kind of celebrity crush on Roger Moore. He notes him in KMKYWAP as his favourite Bond actor and keeps a framed picture of him in his room at the Travel Tavern. It is also revealed that he keeps this portrait of Moore in his daydreams.

One thing that’s important to know regarding Alan’s sexuality is his relationship with Michael.

While Michael never refers to Alan other than “Mr Partridge” and Alan treats Michael with some disdain, the two have a notably strong bond, with Alan even calling him a friend.

In This Time, we look at Alan’s photo gallery. While his gallery contains photos of, among several things, pictures of Noel Edmonds and Alan posing with a car, one of the photos in Alan’s gallery is Michael, followed by a drawing of him.

The fact there’s a drawing of Michael is very telling. Michael tended to not have any real friends apart from Alan, so it can be implied this is Alan’s own drawing of Michael. But then, why did Alan draw Michael? It seems a tad odd.

When Alan and Michael finally reunite after the latter being missing for a decade in From the Oasthouse, Alan is clearly very happy to see him.

Alan: Oh my god. It’s ringing. I think I might have solved it. … nah, he’s absolutely going to hate- Hello? Michael: Hello? Alan: Michael? Michael: Aye. Alan: Oh my god, oh my god- Michael… it’s- it’s- it’s Alan. […] Michael: Oh hello Mr Partridge! Alan: Yeah, that’s me! Yeah! I knew you’d remember! Michael: Aye. Alan: I- oh my god, I can’t believe I’m talking to you. Michael: Aye. Alan: I can’t believe I’m actually speaking to you. […] Alan: It’s actually you. You didn’t drown then! Michael: Me? No. Alan: Are you alright? Michael: Aye. Alan: Oh I’m glad because we- we used to have fantastic chats didn’t we? […] Alan (after the call is over): Ah, that was amazing. I got goosebumps again now.

While Alan has had friendships (Simon) and rivalries (Simon & Clifton), Michael is the one friend he’s had permanently over his time in the franchise, and is one of the few main recurring characters - alongside Lynn.

—

Anyway thanks for reading my lil analysis on this silly little pathetic guy /aff. Hope you enjoyed reading, and I hope it gave you something to think about.

#alan partridge #hänsel analysis #sexuality analysis

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fire-of-the-sun · 1 year

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Vaxleth Speculation

Just wanted to share some thoughts and speculation about Vaxleth before the season ends.

I'm really hoping the lack of Vaxleth moments in episodes 7-9 (and basically the entire season) means we'll be getting some significant ones in the last three because, if not, I definitely did not expect to get less of them in S2 than S1 and I'd be really disappointed. However, there are other reasons for lack of content between them that isn’t due to negligence.

Right now, they both have reasons to be keeping each other at arm’s length. Vax is in a rough place after becoming the Matron’s champion but eventually speaking with her (as Keyleth encouraged) and fully accepting her should help boost his morale as well as reminding him even more how short life is.

So far, Keyleth’s story this season consists of her conquering some fears. Fire can only hurt her if she lets it and she’s become more confident in herself and her abilities. This achievement could in turn be applied in other ways such as finding the strength to face potential emotional pain. She also made a comment while gassed up that “we’re just prisoners of our own anxieties searching for connection”. Though this line took place in a moment of levity, perhaps her words here speak to a deeper thought that’s been brewing regarding overcoming anxiety in the pursuit of finding genuine connection and therefore open herself up to those connections.

As her fear as brought up by Osysa hasn’t been fully addressed yet, I imagine it will in an overdue conversation with Vax as Keyleth looked concerned about him after his vision and has probably been wanting to speak to him to see how he’s doing and this could finally lead to them voicing how they’re really feeling and showing progress both individually and together. This could result in yet another rejection scene however, only this time there might be more of an admission that, yes, she loves him too but that fear of growing too close to someone just to lose them is what is truly keeping her at bay beyond just saying they have responsibilities to focus on like last season. That way the relationship is still technically taking a step forward as we get more explicit confirmation that Keyleth does care about him in that way too while also not fully becoming canon yet and saving that for next season.

However, if they perhaps believe they won't be able to defeat Umbrasyl and they're going to die, she has nothing to lose and, mustering some newfound confidence (fire can only hurt if you let it) she parallels Vax's confession to her in S1 and finally just tells him how she feels too, fears and all. That being said, I don't want things to feel rushed at the end especially given how little screen time they've shared this season. Becoming fully canon will require multiple conversations and big moments still in my opinion.

Of course, the lack of screentime between them also allows more time to be devoted to the progression of other couples. 2x08 was a very heavy Perc'alia episode so it's just as possible for one of these last episodes to feature a lot of Vaxleth development too and perhaps their lack of content recently is due to the fact that their spotlight is coming later. I mean, at this point Vax has talked to Percy more this season than he has Keyleth.

Anyway, I’m just begging for more interaction in general too. Anything. I'd love to see a hug, some smiles or something and even a role reversal with Keyleth being the one to encourage him and remind him how amazing he is perhaps to cheer him up. To see her make him happy. To see some of his old self surface. Please, I'm dying here and I'd be pretty heartbroken if this season ended with nothing super significant transpiring between them and/or to end their arc on a negative, hopeless note. But who knows, a lot can happen in an episode, perhaps there will be plenty to come with three more to go and there’s nothing to worry about...

#vox machina #vaxleth #vax'ildan #keyleth #tlovm #the legend of vox machina

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littleragondin · 3 months

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Love in the Big City - A bite of rockfish, taste the universe

I am still enjoying this book a lot. I have some notes/comments about it I guess - not very organized but they have to go somewhere so here goes!

.｡.:*☆*:.｡.

It was there already in the first part, but somehow, I keep getting hit in the face by the way Young seems to dislike himself. There is little sympathy or compassion for his younger self when he tells us about this part of his life, in the way he keeps berating himself for making the “mistake” of falling for his hyung. in how he tells us “I had a mirror at home, I knew all too well that I wasn’t worth a whole cup of coffee”.

See, I don’t know much about going out and partying, about sex, or being in love, but I know about being lonely and I know about hating yourself, and that part of Young’s life has been the most relatable part for me so far (it's the point where the first person narration is getting to me the most tbh). I’m not the first one to say it, but when you don’t like yourself it’s so hard to accept that anyone could see anything worth loving in you. Young’s first instinct when his hyung gives him a compliment is to wonder about all the way this could, actually, be an insult or a lie (“What the hell is he saying, this guy, that I’m faggy? That I sound gay? Or is he just saying stuff for the hell of it? Am I being paranoid?”). Often, you tend to project yourself onto them, convinced that if you think about yourself like that, so do other people of course, even if they don’t. Especially if they don’t, it sometimes feels like, as if it was easier to accept that you’re being played than that you’re being loved. It’s unfair to everyone. There is an edge of awareness in Young’s voice, too, regarding the way he considers himself, but this is only the first of many steps toward, well. Not hating yourself so bad anymore, and I hope by the end of the book he gets to take a few more.

It’s also true of his hyung, who is so weighed down by his internalized homophobia and the general paranoia that comes from his past (@doyou000me has an excellent summary of the historical context of the story, which gives a better understanding of the character) that he, too, seems unable to properly invest himself in the relationship.

On top of that, they are always out of step with each other, it seems. Where Young keeps to himself and listen, Hyung opens himself and talks and talks and talks. Young is reluctant to share but Hyung never seems that intent to learn more about him either. Hyung will say romantic things to Young (“It’s like we’re the last two persons on Earth.”) that Young will dismiss (“Oh hyung, enough with that.”), but will barely accept to walk by Young’s side when Young wants to hold his hand, and run away when Young wants to introduce him to his mother. In this like in their respective views of the world, they never manage to match.

And yet, somehow, they still find something in each other, something that makes them cling to each other. Something that is enough to starve off some of the loneliness.

“[…] he was simply so lonely it was either talk to me or talk to the walls. I knew the temperature and the smell of such loneliness all too well. Because back then I was exactly the same kind of person.”

.｡.:*☆*:.｡.

There were a few quotes I really liked in this part that I just want to highlight here.

"I tasted something on his lips that I had never tasted before. The fishy, chewy taste of rockfish. Maybe the taste of the universe." because I am always, at heart, a huge romantic

"It gave me joy that food I had made with my own hands would become part of his body." I am not immune to the love that goes into cooking for someone.

"I think that's why I was so terrible to you. I was scared. I wanted to keep you in my tiny soy-sauce dish of a world forever."

And then what ended up being probably my favorite, closing the part and the last mirroring of Young's relationship to his mother and to his hyung.

"I used to feel that I'd been given the whole world when I held you."

"I used to feel like I'd been given the whole world when I held him. Like I was holding the whole universe."

I hope the end of this part is a first step for the narrator toward grieving those painful relationships properly and, maybe, healing from it. Even if I suspect it would only be the start of a long journey.

#I am extremely taken with the story and I am enjoying the prose a lot #I was not expecting to be that emotionally invested but I am #and I am bracing a little for whatever is coming #and also I am wondering how they're going to adapt it #even if the author is participating in the writing #Love in the Big City #litbc book club #words

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lunetual · 1 year

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♡ HAPPY CHANGKYUN DAY ♡ happy happy birthday to monsta x’s forever maknae, who despite turning 27 years old and fully being an adult, is still undoubtedly regarded by his hyungs as not-quite-grown-up yet. wishing him a lovely day and an even lovelier year as he so very much deserves!!

quick cc note: hehe here we goooo! buckle in we’re in for a long ride etc. you’re all used to this by now! changkyun is so very dear to me in such a specific way where i can’t think about him for too long or i’m at risk of crying. you know? he occupies such a particular place within the group and in my heart.

i definitely don’t claim to know what’s going on behind the scenes or pretend to exactly understand anyone’s state of mind except my own... but doesn’t changkyun seem lighter these days? i think in general changkyun loves the stage and loves music, and you can always tell that. he’s always been happy when he’s out there under the stage lights all mic’d up. but this past promotional period he has seemed so relaxed and happy and comfortable like he has been GLOWING!! that impossibly charming silliness that sometimes shows itself has been spilling out of him!!! and it makes me so so happy because he deserves that! like doesn’t it do your heart good to see him thriving!!

i have such a soft spot for him for a myriad of reasons but one of them is that it’s because i know that so much of this job kind of goes. against his instincts?? alkf;alsk. changkyun is by nature, so reserved a lot of the time and a lot of an idol’s job requires you to have your on switch flipped at all times. he himself has talked about it, how it doesn’t seem like a job suited for him and yet... it IS his job and it DOES suit him. and in a lot of ways, i think how introverted he is helps at his job, in that he is able to expend his energy when needed and ride that high, and then knows how to regroup and recover within himself. he’s talked about the come down from the rush of being on stage and how it’s a peculiar and acute loneliness, and how actually, he doesn’t mind it. that it’s something that you need to feel.

changkyun is just so thoughtful and introspective. i think he’d be such a good conversation partner. from now on when people ask that icebreaker question that’s like. which three people dead or alive would you want to have dinner with... i’m naming changkyun as one of the answers. i really admire the way that he can sit with his emotions and acknowledge them, and at the same time, the way that he’s like. fake it til you make it!!! like. so true king. me too. sometimes you just have to keep telling yourself that you’re fine and you just keep saying it and keep saying it until it’s true.

he’s a bundle of contradictions. he gives off this cool and fierce image while being so, so sweet to the bone, the group’s resident romantic. he quietly watches his groups antics from the side except for when his goofy sense of humor bursts out of him. he cares fiercely, so fiercely about what his people think of him — and nothing at all for his naysayers’ words. he’s incredibly introverted but loves standing in front of the crowd under the spotlight. :):

i think all the time about how changkyun really maintains a strong sense of self in an industry where it can be really hard, really brutal to do so. here are the things that stand out to me, especially: he is considerate of others, and endlessly patient with those he cares about. (thinking of: him sleeping in his studio for kihyun’s solo debut to make sure he didn’t disturb the sparse amount of sleep kihyun was getting. the way he always indulges hyungwon when hyungwon asks him to check his eyes.) he was raised with an appreciation for music and art and it shows so clearly in his identity as an artist. and along with that, growing up in a few different countries when he was younger gave him maybe a more international mindset than he would have had otherwise. he is honest in his music. he knows his worth and will make the decision that’s best for him, even when those decisions may not come easily.

i’m so excited for the future for him. like changkyun, i also believe that good times and bad times must both exist, and that one will naturally follow the other. but i hope that for him the good times always last longer than the bad ones, and that inner light that’s been shining from him keeps on dazzling us all.

im changkyun!!! i admire who you choose to be every day!! i’m really proud of you and the way you’ve had your cake and eaten it too, leaving the company and staying committed to the group and the members you love so much. i can’t wait for your solo ventures to come, i can’t wait for the group activities to come, i just can’t wait to see what comes next. this year i hope you stay happy, stay smiling. i hope you keep on betting on yourself, because you will never, never lose when you do. with all the love and support, always. rooting for you, cheering for you. with you every step of the way.

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tokuvivor · 6 months

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Thanks for the tag on this one, @shychick-52! (Update: And @writebackatya.)

how many fics do you have on ao3?

12.

what's your total ao3 word count?

69,172.

what are your top five fics by kudos?

The Power of Three

Bridging the Gap

We Could Bring You a Hamburger…

One Night Ultimate Duck (Or Hummingbird, or Parrot)

Duckverse June 2023 Prompts (yes, it’s a story collection, but it still counts)

what fandoms do you write for?

DuckTales 2017, mostly, a bit for Super Sentai, did one for the Netflix show Dash & Lily, and I have a couple ideas of fics relating to other shows.

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Yes! Someone took time out of their day to read my stuff and leave their input on it, and the least I could do is show my appreciation for it in return, and elaborate on any questions they may have.

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Shit, I’m really not good with ending stories on a down note; I try to make the endings as satisfying as possible. But I’d say the closest thing to that is for my 6th Webby Week story, Am I Good Enough? (An Internal Battle). It’s basically just Webby wrestling over being chosen by the Papyrus in her mind. Even though it doesn’t end on an outright fairy tale note, she does recognize that it’s okay to not have something that big figured out immediately, and that it’s good to talk about it with other people if you have trouble processing it.

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That’s a tough one. There are probably certain stories I’ll discuss in later answers, so for this one, I’ll go with We Could Bring You a Hamburger…. I mean, it’s just a sweet, simple story about something that absolutely should’ve been shown in canon (Webby getting her first hamburger). It’s just a good, satisfying, slice of life kinda thing.

do you get hate on your fics?

Well, on the second chapter of The Power of Three, I got somebody telling me that Huey shouldn’t be guilty over going against his general Woodchuck instinct and leaving Violet behind, and that he should be jealous and upset with Violet and Lena for insulting him and making him feel miserable. Jesus.

do you write smut?

No. I honestly don’t think I’d be good at it. Especially regarding a show like DuckTales. If I were to, it’d probably be wayyyyy down the road.

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've ever written?

Not actively; if I write something with multiple fandom tags on AO3, it’s mostly because minor elements of one thing are peppered into my DT story.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Thank god.

have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that’d be interesting.

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes; I started working with @sisiwritesfanfics on her Super Sentai Couples One-Shot Collection beginning with the second story. We’re currently trying to work on the third.

what's your all time favorite ship?

I don’t know, probably Fendra? But I generally prefer fanworks of them more, especially when stories go more in-depth regarding their relationship than we got in canon. There are others in DuckTales, and other pieces of media, that I really enjoy, though.

what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

At the moment, none. But there are a couple idea that I have that I don’t know if I’d ever start.

what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially between two characters, and being able to really get into characters’ minds.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Writing full-on angst. I can incorporate bits of angst into stories, especially when it’s introspective, but a full story of it just wouldn’t be my thing (so, way longer than Am I Good Enough?). Also, losing motivation at certain points in time.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’ve done bits of gratuitous Spanish or Latin in my stories before, but no full-on dialogue. But I did provide the translated Spanish dialogue between Fenton, Gosalyn, and Webby in @writebackatya’s story Let’s All Go to the Movies!.

first fandom you wrote for?

Technically speaking, I did a piece based on Wreck-It Ralph back in high school for my creative writing class. So that, I guess.

favorite fic you've ever written?

Massive toss-up for me here. The Power of Three is special because it was my first fic, and it focuses on the budding dynamic between Huey, Violet, and Boyd, which absolutely should have been explored in the show. But my other major early idea for a DuckTales story turned into Bridging the Gap. Gandra isn’t written nearly as often alongside Huey, and we only really got a resolution of her relationship with Fenton (amongst main and major recurring characters) in the show, so I wanted to build on the pieces we got between Gandra and Huey in her episodes, which culminated in what I still think is my absolute favorite scene I’ve written. I think the overall edge goes to Power, but Bridging isn’t far behind in my heart.

Tagging @godfrey-the-chaos-duck and @sparklingspidey

#ao3 ask game #ducktales #super sentai #dash and lily #am i good enough? (an internal battle)#we could bring you a hamburger…#a second chance to save a life #the power of three #bridging the gap #let’s all go to the movies!

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tammyhybrid21 · 4 months

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Dumb Headcanon thoughts PART 2. This time it’s the Slugcat Edition... Along with a few bonus things because goodness.

This time we’re starting off a bit more hot. Mostly because I actually have a lot of additional things to say in general regarding this one simple fact. It is canon. Pebbles refers to you multiple times throughout different campaigns as a rodent. And sure you could take that as him looking at the slugcat and been a bit of a SatAM Robotnik about it... but I more like to take it as a statement of fact because it can lead to so much fun theorizing... thus my top sheet.

Side note, seriously, go look up what animals are in the rodent family, there’s some WILD revelations of it. Anyway... point the first... Beaver Inspiration... this also explains Slugcat buoyancy... their fur traps air for insulation in the water... Thus they naturally kind of go UP-- On the other hand, they regularly need to groom that oil through for this layer to do its job properly...

WITNESS... MY CREATURE DESIGN.

Dsbvjhbfsjhbfjhds, no but seriously, I have a lot of thoughts regarding this. I also really love the way the fandom has come to the conclusion that Slugcats are descended from a simple pipe cleaning organism. I agree honestly, their diets are just too funky to not be from something like that... also the edible moulds throughout the game.

On top of that, I think that said organism was also a “template” one. Aka, lab rats. It would explain why the iterators seem to tend towards Slugcats more than anything else...

Oh side note. I have another personal reasoning for giving Scugs white blood aside it just been funky. But because of how Rain World canonically doesn’t have a full divide between plants and animals... I got inspired specifically by milkweed plants, and some... things people believe about them.

Basically there’s an old, old rumour about it having healing properties. Also that squish fact... it’s based again on real world information. This is directly inspired by how rats can squeeze into gaps(also raccoons but they’re not rodents). Also just some fun to explain pipe travel... this is how shortcuts work tbh.

Anycase, yeah... More of the biology and developments thing. I do think the iterators did some encouraging of the development. Not entirely their fault though. Not at all. Again, there’s a lot of environmental pressure. Different creatures responded to it differently... for the lantern mice it became a matter of getting up high and then... well... yeah. They didn’t find much pressure from then on.

For the slugcats though, they ended up in the further wilds. In the ruins, and nomadic.

At some point I’ll come back on Scavengers. But not anytime soon. For now, here’s my slugcats are sentient propaganda... Which I fully believe is because of how they function in community and seem to be nomadic. I mean sheesh, Gourmand’s whole implied campaign. The iterators using them as messengers, or even with slightly more complex tasks... Or majorly more complex tasks...

Pebbles just expecting Rivulet to somehow know and understand retrieving his Rarefaction cell... To deliver it to Moon... also on Moon’s side... Iggy’s whole... thing, which I’m certain is the overseer’s decision alone, but just pleading for the slugcats to go bring neurons now! Yeah. Go Iggy, if they were a slugcat or other creature they would so choose violence. Love that little overseer.

SURPRISE. YOU FELL INTO MY TRAP CARD. This isn’t just a post talking about Slugcats but I also wanted to talk about the Cycle. In which case, yes I am a dirty heathen who thinks that the respawn is real. But before you stone me for that, I do have some in game evidence. As well arguments for why it doesn’t work on everything. Beyond just mechanics...

I think that there’s a few necessary ingredients for it to work. And the core to them is ties to your identity and sense of self, attachments to form and body. Which solidifies as you grow up, different people and creatures at different ages(although most creatures aren’t that attached I don’t think... why you can lose tamed lizors and tamed slups who haven’t found that connection yet). ALSO YES, I do think that a human randomly in Rain World would just... reincarnate... the greater cycle it is...

Mostly because to have a sense of yourself and place you also need to be more aware of the world. A place not just in your body but the world around you... I have more comments but those can wait for when I get around to doing a proper talk of what it means to ascend and break the cycle...

From Dust to Dust and Ashes to Ashes all that’s left of you is others memories, nonexistence just returning to once cosmic dust.

Final last point bonus. Just some Spearmaster thoughts really. I love to imagine Spearmaster is just one really messed up creechur because Suns literally doesn’t understand as much as they think they do. Amazingly designed, but really horror creature in action.

#Rain World #Slugcats #THybrid Art #THybrid Iterates #headcanons #I WILL FIGHT YOU SCUGS ARE RODENTS #And also very much sentient #Early early culture but still sentient #Same level as Scavs #Also sorry I'm a respawn believer

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saltedsnails · 1 year

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I'm just worried as a result of Bumblebee becoming canon; fans of the ship are going to ignore the issues with Adam's portrayal, the complaints from queer critics regarding the build up and the very bigoted company using the ship to handwave all of its bigotry. I don't think BB fans aren't allowed to be happy, hell I was pretty pleased with the confession scene. I really just the fandom could have an open discussion about the ship without it the compalints being seen as homophobia

I’m not a fan of Bumblebee myself, in fact I don’t really ship any characters at all, because RWBY isn’t supposed to be about shipping at all! We’re supposed to be overlooking a journey about saving the world, damn it!

You really just have to love that certain fans disregard the treatment of real-life LGBT+ folks by RT in favor of their ship becoming canon.

At the end of the day, I find that pathetic.

I also didn’t like the confession execution, because they were forced to say their feelings under pressure rather than a true confession where the parties in question didn’t feel pressured. Sorry, but I don’t like when people are forced to do things when they aren’t ready to handle the outcome. Been there, done that, not a fan of it.

Also just because someone criticizes an LGBT+ ship for aspects of the writing, it’s not homophobia. Maybe the execution development sucked. Maybe the characters themselves sucked or didn’t fit well together. This isn’t just for BB by the way. It’s for every ship. Talking about elements of a ship you don’t like that has to do with an LGBT+ couple isn’t automatically homophobia. It’s just criticism, and people need to learn that.

Also a note for in general, and nothing to you specifically, more of an audience awareness PSA: Putting all of your self worth into a fictional relationship and going rabid-feral when people don’t agree isn’t a healthy thing. You desperately need to evaluate how abrasive your shipping mentality effects you and your relationship with others; both on and off the internet. If something exists on the internet, some people aren’t going to like it. And y’know what, big whoop!

Stop going after people not agreeing about a damn ship, because you’ll either a) force people out of the fandom/media-space you’re in because you’re a toxic collective which will —> provide less of an audience for the media you consume which will —> lead to a loss of revenue and eventually cancel the show production or b) make the fandom split apart into smaller sects that either don’t interact or when they do, become knuckle-dragging troglodytes spewing death threats and doxxing each other that makes even wanting to dip a singular cell of your big toes skin to experience the fandom not worth it.

To get back to the Adam and Blake thing, we missed out on so much context and development for both Blake and Adam that would’ve made their final confrontation more satisfying for the end of V5/6. Like yeah, sure it’s a “I’ve changed now and all I see is a monster”, but personally, this isn’t an emotional payoff. It’s a one-dimensional storytelling experience that’s been done a billion and a half times. The characters don’t even have much of a connection anymore because Adam and Blake interacted for like, 2 minutes at Beacon during the fall, and then the confrontation leading to Adam’s death? Like, where’s the payoff?

I don’t see it. Truly, I don’t. Both Adam and Blake had such disservices done to their characters by not providing neither context nor true attachment other than “because I said so”. While yes, it is implied, we never explore the emotional nuances of their relationship. It could’ve paid off so much more if RWBY truly cared about the connections the main girls had.

- 🐌

#snail speaks #rwde #‘nonie time 🕶️#adam taurus #**emotional nuance isn’t a bad thing everyone!

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squidkidnerd · 1 year

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Operation Atlantis Notes - “Brewing Up Friendship” (chapter 5)

chapter 5 chapter cHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5—Woo, it’s finally out! There are some big leaps forward in this chapter, as Three and Eight are finally starting to bond! Yay! We’ve also got a short scene with Lila in the beginning, (dad) Iso Padre, and more! But, mostly Three and Eight bonding lol. Let’s talk about it! (rest under cut).

Compared to chapter 4, this chapter was relatively easy to write. Writing Three and Eight interacting together is always very fun and very enjoyable, especially now when there’s a language barrier and a lot of awkwardness between them. Neither of them really know how to interact with people normally, nevermind when there’s a language barrier in the way. Because of that, this chapter is full of a lot of really awkward yet really sweet moments that I just love. I had so much fun writing them, and I hope you enjoyed reading them! Anyways, on with the notes.

Opening poem: Okay, I gotta admit—I don’t like this one as much as chapter 4′s. Even after I changed the last two lines during my revision process, it still feels a bit too generic for my tastes. That’s okay, though. These poems aren’t meant to be much other than a nice opener. The second and third lines in my original version were more focused on Three in general and not Eight sensing the connections between, which is the whole theme of the chapter so yeah, I changed it. It’s a little on the nose, but hey, I like it.

Lila: Oh, would you look at that, it’s everyone’s favorite character (sarcastic)! Yeah, this scene is more of a tease for later than anything that has to do with this chapter itself lol. After she didn’t appear at all in chapter 4 I thought I should at least give her a short scene as a brief update if you will. This is probably how she’s going to appear in the story for a while, with a short scene or two here and there but not much of a major focus. She may be a perspective character, but she’s not necessarily a protagonist like Three and Eight. We also get the tiniest of hints at her backstory here... what could her last job have possibly been?

Eight: I LOVED writing Eight this chapter. She’s just so sweet and clueless and ADORABLE I love her so much ASFKLASDJFAKLSDF! After I struggled with her in chapter 4 and earlier, it was nice. The issue with her chapter 4 and earlier, actually, is that she didn’t really want anything. Now, though, she wants to be friends with Three—so she has a reason to act. And act she does. Thanks to her amnesia, Eight really isn’t sure how to interact with people yet, never mind befriend them. The only people she’s really talked to are Iso Padre, Madame Katrina, and Miyo. Only one of those characters is her own age, and all of them are overtly friendly. Three, as we know, is not overtly friendly. She also seems like she doesn’t even want friends. But, as Iso Padre says, those who choose to be solitary often need companionship the most. It might be a challenge to be friends with Three, but it’s a challenge Eight’s willing to accept—after all, they might have more in common than they might think.

Eight’s 100 percent heterosexual activities: Fun fact—my plan for Eight’s feelings towards Three was to have them start out more platonic and have them become romantic later on. Right now, Eight isn’t supposed to have an overt crush like Three is, it’s supposed to be a more “This person is so cool I really wanna be friends with them!” kinda feeling, if you know what I mean. However... uh, Eight, staring at your coworker through a doorway like that is uh, a little gay. Just a little. A tiny bit. I’m okay with it though because gayness is the direction we’re heading and also the platonic/romantic binary is fake. So, yeah. Eight’s feelings regarding Three, and more importantly, what Eight knows about those feelings, will change and grow throughout the rest of Operation Atlantis. Look forward to it.

Iso Padre: My man!!! Iso Padre has officially become my underrated fave. He shows up so rarely in fics if at all and it’s such a shame because I think there’s a lot to do with him. Before this chapter, I struggled to really pin down what I wanted him to act and speak like, but after this chapter, I think I got it. Iso Padre is only middle-aged, but he has a sense of wisdom beyond his years that comes from his experiences. He cares a lot about Eight and the other test subjects who are/were under his care, but he’s also afraid of caring about them in case it hurts too much when he has to let go. This is why he agreed with Kamabo to have his memories taken away, so the pain can be erased too. We all know the real reason though. From what we know in canon, Iso Padre has memory loss but, like Eight, it’s unclear what the source of that memory loss actually is. I chose this interpretation because it’s interesting from a character standpoint and it shows how Kamabo subtly manipulates people into cooperating with them. Iso Padre, of course, is not the first person to be manipulated like this, and unfortunately, he’s far from the last.

The First Interactions: Three and Eight are interacting! Yay!!! The first one from Three’s POV was actually not in my outline, but I decided to add it after I wrote the first few sentences of an Azalea scene that I ended up cutting. Poor Eight is very nervous, as anyone would be, but hey, Miyo is right. Three doesn’t bite. The oven scene was one of my earliest ideas for this chapter, and it’s absolutely adorable. Not only do we get Eight trying to help and almost burning herself due to a lack of knowledge, but we also get Three teaching her how to use oven mitts! Don’t tell Three I said this, but, I think it was pretty cute of her to do that. To Three it’s just doing the right thing, but hey. Maybe there’s more than she thinks underneath her icy exterior ;)

Dork/Dumbass: Okay, okay, guys there is something about insults used affectionately that just sends me. I’m not sure if it’s the playful teasing or “Yeah, you’re an idiot, but I love you anyways” but AAAAAAAAAA. So yeah, when I came up with this idea for Three and Eight I immediately loved it. The best part, I think, is that while “dork” and dumbass are insults, they are kind of technically true. Three, stoicism and hero complex aside, really is kind of an awkward loser. Eight isn’t “dumb” so to speak, but she can be a bit of an airhead sometimes who doesn’t use common sense (see: not using oven mitts). Hence, why they call each other this. And, as you probably could’ve guessed from Three at the end there, it doesn’t end up being used entirely meanly. It becomes quite affectionate, actually.

Three’s Crisis: Three. Three my beloved, gay, absolute disaster of an inkling. We’ll see this a LOT throughout the entire rest of this fic, but, Three’s basically built a rigid set of standards for herself one could call a “hero complex.” This hero complex, among other things, forces her to be calm, stoic, and focused at all times, and it’s in overdrive now that they’re in Atlantis. It’s encouraged by Cuttlefish and it’s also the only way Three knows how to cope with everything. Is it a good way to cope? Hell no! It makes Three repress her emotions to hell and back. Don’t do that kids. And one of the emotions she’s been repressing is, well—Three is lonely. She’s convinced herself that two busy idols and a grandpa are the only people she needs in life because she can’t imagine anyone else taking an interest in her. She can’t imagine anyone else caring about her. But, then there’s have Eight, being nice and doing all these favors for her because... she wants Three to be friends with her? What? It goes against everything Three’s forced herself to believe. Hence, she’s stunned by it lol. But, Three’s on a mission, and she can accept Eight’s offer to be friends based on that. Besides, it’s not like it will last. It’s not like it will mean anything, right? Yeahhh good luck with that THREE.

Tendril ties and friendship: If there’s something I love about writing, it’s symbolism. It gets a reputation for being pretentious, but like— there’s just something unique and interesting about connecting an intangible theme to a tangible object. It doesn’t even have to be complicated. Like, with the tendril ties—it’s not about the tendril ties themselves, it’s about the friendship. Eight first sees them being exchanged between friends, so she immediately associates the two because she’s still learning what friendship is. Hence, her offering one to Three is offering friendship. Woo. For a slightly more complicated interpretation that I just thought of while writing this, I think you can say that the tendril ties represent shared experiences. That’s how friendship is made, after all. And then, Three and Eight tying their tendrils up could show how they’ve become similar as a result of those shared experiences. Just some food for thought. But yeah, I had this idea before I started writing this chapter (kinda like the oven scene), and it’s included here because why not. It also ties (haha, get it, ties) nicely into some stuff with Three and Eight much, MUCH later on. Like post-Operation Atlantis levels of late. So late that I can’t talk about it but hey, I think it’s cool.

So that’s that! I think I’m gonna do what I did for these notes in the future rather than going scene by scene like I did in chapter 4. Chapter 6 will be... a while most likely, I have exams coming up and unfortunately that takes precedence over funny gay cephalopods 😔. Late May/Early June maybe? I dunno. Hopefully progress on this fic will speed up in the summer. No promises though.

#ari's updates #writing notes #operation atlantis writing notes #chapter 5

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waitmyturtles · 9 months

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Manner of Death, and What is a BL Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I cover Manner of Death, a MaxTul crime show that leads us to wonder if we can call it a true BL.]

FINALLY! Yeeeeeeah! I’ve waited a while to get this one out, and I’m so excited to finally drop this review: this is going to be a fun one. Let’s pour one out for the retired homey, Tul Pakorn, as I dive into Manner of Death! (MaxTul after a weekend of PerthChimon and FirstKhao, huh? GIMME!)

So, first things first: I cannot remember who exactly recommended Manner of Death for inclusion on the OGMMTVC watchlist. I APOLOGIZE. I am going to GUESS that it was a combo of @manogirl and @miscellar (and if I’m wrong, friends, please forgive me, and whoever really suggested it, give yourselves flowers in the comments so I can give you a high-five!). In any case, though, as I’ve mentioned previously, @manogirl gets the OGMMTVC Trophy for Hyping a Homey To One of the Best Ships Ever, for real -- MG, your repping on MaxTul has paid DIVIDENDS in my life, DIVIDENDS! I LOVE MAXTUL. I love them, your honors! And they are important, historically, for reasons illuminated below.

Okay, ha, with that out of the way, Manner of Death as a show gets included on the OGMMTVC list because, as was discussed in the comments of my review of Together With Me, MoD may or may not be a BL by way of the “rules” of the genre. The majority commentary on MoD established that MoD was a show that had BL elements in a crime genre-based show that served as an influence for future genre shows in Not Me and KinnPorsche.

Now, I will note, during my MoD liveblogging, that @true-unicorn-queen came thru to say -- actually, it IS a BL (thank you, TUQ, for jumping in the comments!). I am really going to enjoy digging into this, and I think there are some good examples that serve as evidence on both sides of the argument. A little outline to help us out, maestro:

1) The frame of this piece is going to center on whether we call MoD a “genre” show of another kind that’s not TECHNICALLY a BL (like a crime story, or a workplace drama), vs. whether we call it a BL because there were quite a few BL tropes in it, and I’ll also talk about 2) Why I think this argument works by way of who worked on this show (and who may have influenced this show), 3) The general excellence of the acting of this show (...okay, we’ll gently poke Tul a bit, ha), and 4) Touching a bit on the conversation of whether or not MoD impacted future genre shows,

along with some other floating bits about MoD and its wild ending, ha.

Off the bat, I think this show worked because it played with successful elements of BOTH the crime genre AND the BL genre. It was like, fusion television. The actual twists and turns of the mystery (I will try to not give away too much if you haven’t seen it yet!) were FABULOUSLY done, and I love suspecting everyone during stories like this. Hell, I was suspecting Oat, for heaven’s sake!

So regarding the is-it-a-BL-or-not conversation: I’m not a person who dabbles in binaries and hardcore definitions. I really think art is best when it is dynamic and NOT definitively binary -- when art is influenced by many things, by many elements, by many tentacles. (You’ll notice that this is why I LOVE this OGMMTVC project.) I really felt that I enjoyed MoD, purely as a fan, in part because this show used the best elements of the crime and BL genres to construct a story that was exciting, that was SMART, that was driven and crisp -- and most importantly, that was not DRAGGED or HELD BACK by EXPECTATIONS of EITHER genre.

I myself would not call MoD a BL, in part because I don’t want to set up expectations that it needed to MEET certain elements of the genre in order to CALL IT a BL. BUT -- to @true-unicorn-queen‘s point -- maybe I GET to call it a BL, because it used BL tropes so well? I’m not going to quibble in this too much (and honestly, if folks have thoughts on this, jump into the comments, because I think the conversation around this will automatically be fascinating and interesting).

I want to also add that MoD shares many elements with another well-known crime show that is also not a BL, but arguably BL-adjacent -- Jojo Tichakorn’s 3 Will Be Free. 3 Will Be Free is ABSOLUTELY NOT a BL. But what 3WBF established -- on GMMTV! -- was a show that was not CENTERED in queerness or a queer romance story. It was, instead, INCLUSIVE of queerness as a GIVEN of the environment and community in which the show was set. I thought this was groundbreaking for the GMMTV network.

Like I wrote recently about YYY, and akin to 3WBF, Manner of Death, very importantly in its writing, did not hew to a NEED to CENTER the burgeoning queer romance between Bun and Tan -- which I think many would argue is a necessary element of a BL. Their relationship was an important ELEMENT to the show, but it wasn’t a CENTER of the show -- until the end, when we got a bunch of fan service flowers..... and fuckin’ gun whips with a proposal, but let’s leave that alone for another sec, HA.

I really liked YYY for its macro-level commentary about what BL creators and performers face, by way of pressure, of NEEDING to include and/or CENTER a relationship in a BL. The character of Porpla served as a symbol of that internal and external pressure on BL shows to be ABOUT the romance.

Manner of Death just... didn’t deal with that. The center of the story was: who killed Jane? That was it. It was a murder mystery, first and foremost, with two dudes falling in love as a side story.

I’m shaking my head in wonder at this, because Manner of Death did the love side story much differently than 3WBF, all while paying homage and respect to the inclusion of queerness within the show itself. How did the show do it?

As y’all know from my MoD liveblogging, I totally marveled at how WELL this show included some important BL tropes. We had tender gay uncles AND a side couple IN THE SAME SCENE! ThatSorn were a NATURAL side couple, great chemistry, GREAT comedy, and BunTan totally knew what was up with them. Utterly cute! And I cackled at some other tropes, including BunTan choosing to MAKE OUT instead of checking the LAPTOP THEY STOLE from BUSTING A CAR WINDOW, lol.

The inclusion of these tropes was done VERY well, VERY sophisticatedly. Unlike 3WBF, where I did not expect to see BL tropes -- because 3WBF’s crime story was clearly not a home for BL tropes, at all -- I LOVED SEEING THEM in Manner of Death. It was like seeing old friends again.

I wanted to know what was up with that. So to MDL I went, and found that Title Nirattisai is MoD’s screenwriter. I knew I knew that name, and I went a-clickin’, and went -- AHHHH.

Title is the screenwriter of He’s Coming To Me. THE SCREENWRITER OF *HE’S COMING TO ME!!!* And he, along with Au Kornprom, wrote Dark Blue Kiss. As we know -- they are both Aof Noppharnach shows of the highest order.

WELL, WELL, FUCKING WELL! That solves THAT mystery. Why is the writing of Manner of Death so great? Why does it balance a crime genre story so well with the very best of BL tropes?

It’s because we have a writer in Title who defied and/or played with BL tropes in HCTM and DBK. HCTM, as I’ve previously established, was WELL AHEAD OF ITS TIME by way of storytelling, mood, and BL genre subversion. DBK was the first GMMTV BL to focus on an ONGOING and ESTABLISHED relationship -- à la Still 2gether, later in GMMTV’s history, but a decision that goes against the grain of your usual BL assumptions in seeing a relationship BEGIN, complete with flirtation, with longing, with yearning, etc.

Title is a screenwriter who is CLEARLY comfortable with playing outside of the boundaries of BL expectations -- HCTM is DEFINITIVE of that position. Again, I wondered broadly why Manner of Death was just such a GOOD and watchable show. It’s because its writing was flowing, seamless, and SMART. And I think Title knew, that by centering the show in CRIME and MYSTERY, as opposed to romance, that he could actually play around with expectations of BL romance in a new and singular way.

This is some cool-ass shit. 3WBF established that you could lead a crime story and include queerness. Manner of Death took this a touch further, and brought BACK the very best of BL tropes within a crime frame. BRILLIANT. And, listen. I have He’s Coming To Me on the OGMMTVC list as a BL. If we continue to extrapolate this argument, then -- I might contradict myself, and agree with @true-unicorn-queen, and maybe call Manner of Death a BL. In the end, I’ll give this argument to whoever wants to pick it up, because for me -- MoD was just a good damn SHOW that used mystery, BL, and romance tremendously well in its composition. And that’s why I think it was so successful.

(One last tiny note on this: let me not forget to note the director of Manner of Death is Ma-Deaw Chookiat, the director and screenwriter of Dew the Movie. He, like Title, is certainly someone who plays on the very interesting fringes and intersections of the BL genre.)

For my pure simpy pleasure, I also thought MaxTul were way better in this than in Together With Me, Max especially. (As I’ve now established -- MoD was an excellent show itself, with the script of Together With Me being shaky at best, except for dear Yihwa.) I previously noted that there were some little fumbles in Tul’s acting in MoD, but nothing that kept me from enjoying the show. But Max was REALLY damn good. AND: listen. I mean, I love how jocky both of these guys were in the show, but Max REALLY did fighting and gun stuff and like, physical crime stuff VERY well. It was exciting -- he didn’t seem like he was doing it for the first time. If the show felt like it nailed CBS primetime shit like, I dunno, Hawaii Five-O or whatever, by way of its fight scenes, then I call that a win. I CLEARLY don’t normally watch those kinds of shows, HA, but I’ll watch a crime show if it has MaxTul in it, dammit!

Really quickly, on the point about whether or not MoD had an influence on future genre shows like Not Me and KinnPorsche: I will await my Not Me viewing, and my rewatch of KP, to make that final judgement, and I promise I’ll include MoD analyses in both those reviews. I think this is an important conversation to have continuing over the course of the OGMMTVC project, because aligned with this conversation is still a lingering awareness and analysis of the pressures that BL creators face and struggle with vis à vis romance, as I mentioned before. This is a struggle that continues to this day, as we most recently saw in Tee Bundit’s Step By Step, and whether or not that show was meant to be a romance, a workplace drama, and/or a macro-commentary on BL and BL expectations. I’ll be watching Not Me for the first time -- and I was not aware, at all, of any of these kinds of pressures when I first watched KinnPorsche. I’d like to go in fresh with both shows to be aware of what they WEREN’T doing by way of tropes to create very unique art, and to understand if and how Manner of Death opened that door.

One other floating point: à la A Tale of Thousand Stars that follows Manner of Death, MoD is centered in the rural town of Viang Phra Mork, showing off Thailand’s gorgeous northern scenery. I actually didn’t fully put this together until I had moved on to ATOTS on the OGMMTVC list, but as I was watching MoD, I loved that over the course of the show, many of the characters, especially Rungtiva, were shown wearing more ethnic Thai-inspired clothes, just like Khama and the villagers in ATOTS. I love that over the course of the OGMMTVC, we have gotten to see more and more deep dives into Thailand and Thai culture (Moonlight Chicken being another excellent example). Y’all who follow my blog know that I’m particularly interested in tracking Thai politics and Thai cuisine in our shows, and any bits of Thai culture that I can glom onto in our shows is so welcome. I loved it, and I’ll refer more to this in my ATOTS rewatch review.

Finally, oh finally: MoD’s ending, HA. FIRST OFF: I mean, THE WEDDING, GAH. COME ONNNN. What a lovely farewell to MaxTul. At that point, I think it was assumed that we’d see them one more time in Transplant, but alas. But I really loved that we got to see BunTan in full-circle commitment.

And that proposal. Y’all. Y’ALL. I. WAS. DYING. So not only did that proposal NOT NEED GUN WHIPS, LOL, but as @kattahj pointed out to me, the proposal included GIVING SORAWIT/SORN A GUN, which, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Listen. I didn’t get into the actual deep meat of the show itself, of the UTTER success of the mystery story, in part because I don’t want to give it away for folks who haven’t watched it yet. But -- if you haven’t watched it, please watch Manner of Death. It’s a wonderful break from the BL norm, done absolutely wonderfully by a stellar screenwriter in Title, acted very well by Max, acted very attractively by MaxTul, and the supporting cast was spot on. I know I’ll be checking out Triage at some point to say my final-final farewell to Tul Pakorn, and I wish him all the very best in his next career. We’ll see Max and Toptap next in The Outing, and while that show looks -- confusing? -- I’ll definitely be following it for Max, to see what’s next up in his career. (I hope his health is doing better.) MoD kicked ass, with that classic MaxTul heat, crime, intrigue, AND romance, and it was an utterly successful show that’s absolutely worth celebrating.

[We’re truckin’! I’m making process on my review queue: we have my A Tale of Thousand Stars rewatch review dropping next week, with Lovely Writer after that, and then a double-review of Last Twilight in Phuket and I Promised You The Moon. I’m also going to squeeze in a review of The Warp Effect on Thursday for that Only Friends-flava.

Not Me, 55:15 Never Too Late, and Bad Buddy/Our Skyy 2 rewatch on the horizon. Boom boom boom!

List below. As ever, feedback to ya gal is welcome!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (review coming) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review coming) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review coming) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review coming) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 39) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 40) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 41) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) 42) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 43) Only Friends (2023)]

#manner of death #manner of death meta #he's coming to me #max nattapol #tul pakorn #maxtul #bun x tan #tan x bun #buntan #bl tropes #thai bl tropes #the old gmmtv challenge #turtles catches up with old gmmtv #turtles catches up with thai BLs #turtles catches up with the essential BLs #ogmmtvc

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yoroshiu · 10 months

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Translating a Scene From Kingdom Hearts (Japanese to English) (Part 2)

NOTE: Part 1 has my general overall note. I have so many thoughts in regards to different scenes so I might post more often. High key, doing this was done out of impulse but I hope to make it a fun learning experience at least! Also, I should have said this on part 1 but I’m so thankful to The Wayfinder Project for making finding KH-related things so much easier. They’re the best v-v Additionally, this is by no means to make fun of the ENG localization. There will be criticisms but translating and localizing is very difficult and I respect what these teams do.

Scene: Darkness Is What I Am* (KH3 + Re:Mind)

Sora: That face is—

Vanitas: I am Ventus' missing piece/presence. You made up for [the missing part of] Ventus' heart. That's why my appearance came from you. I was shaped by you two—Ventus, Sora.* We're brothers who make up for each other's shortcomings.

S: if you think that, why be hostile? It would be good/nice if we cooperate (or "if we cooperate, it would be good/nice")

Van: That's what I was born for (or "that's the meaning for me being born"). Because I am darkness, you (both) can exist as light. Aren't I cooperating?*

S: That kind of thing—

Ventus: I didn't ask for that [kind of thing]. Which is light or which is darkness—there's no need to separate them. I am me, you're you. We can live freely (or “let's live freely”).

Van: Freedom...Aa, [I did] live freely.

Ven: Is being trapped in darkness freedom?

Van: That's the way I chose to live.

Ven: I see...

S: Is that (really) okay? Vanitas!

~~~

1* If someone knows, I’d like to know what this scene’s title is in JPN, I have an idea of what it is but I’m not sure how to find it.

2* (lit. I was, Ventus, Sora, shaped by you two [people]). I phrased it differently in my translation since it made a bit more sense in my head.

3* I recall being a bit confused by the phrase. From what I understood and searched, あえている means “to dare.” Another way I could translate it (and be more accurate/literal) is “Aren’t I daring to cooperate?” (I think I might be wrong on that tbh) I think what gave me the hardest time here is the grammar structure. I’m weak when it comes to grammar ToT

- Despite saying relatively the same things, the big difference with JPN here is that Ventus and Vanitas are talking about freedom here. I remember reading people criticizing/making fun of this conversation in ENG but saw a comment that said JPN handled this way better, hence why I had checked it out. ENG leans into the light and darkness parts a bit too hard, in my opinion, and it seems a lot of other people agree with that too.

- The line that translates to “If you think that...” is “Then why won't you stand by our side? Instead of with darkness?” in ENG. I think ENG didn’t want to just reiterate the first question so they added the darkness part. As a result though, it makes the rest of the scene focus on it when it didn’t in JPN. In a way, it almost makes Ven’s point about not being just light or darkness counterintuitive due to the execution. There’s less focus on ‘freedom’ which is a shame, because considering the theories surrounding those two, especially Vanitas, this is a very loaded conversation. (Now that I think about that aspect I might make a separate post about it)

Overthinking KH part 2 lol

#kingdom hearts #sora #ventus #vanitas #japanese to english #translation #for fun #kh3 #kh sora #i'm open to suggestions #yoroshiu translates

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willievermakeithome · 2 years

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EAW (Season 1) is Finished

My relevant notes, for whatever they’re worth, regarding my re-watch of the final episodes of EAW - I’m gonna avoid talking about moments that I feel were OOC for the most part (except the most glaringly obvious examples - YES I’M TALKING ABOUT MINWOO, WE’RE GOIONG THERE), because there’s enough debate about it and it’s all mostly open to personal interpretation anyways. But I’m gonna try to hit the big points, what improvements I hope to see in Season 2, and then I’m gonna share a little conspiracy theory that I’d love to get other’s opinions on. (this is a long post)

As an autistic that loves k dramas and romance, I was beyond excited - and also incredibly trepidatious - when this drama was first recommended to me on my Netflix home screen. The first 10ish episodes are by far the best in my estimation, and I can at least say for certain I will be re-watching those. The second half of the season ... gives me more mixed feelings.

- Hanbada is the big bad. I saw a post a while back (I’m sorry, I tried to find it but I like and reblog too many things! 😭) talking about how Hanbada is the big bad (bc social justice, fighting for the people, anti-capitalism, etc etc) and I think this is absolutely the direction they’re going. We’re not supposed to have rosy tinted glasses on about where Woo Youngwoo works - and perhaps this also kind of tied into Minwoo’s initial purpose in the show.

I’ve noticed more and more as each case comes about that I am less and less on Hanbada’s side; I think it’s partly why they talked early on in the series about the conundrum of morals & ethics so many times, exploring the grey area in many ways, and also pointed out that while Hanbada does take on a lot of public interest cases, at the end of the day - they’re a business and making money/winning cases comes first before anything else. The reveal that the CEO is pretty ruthless and has no issue using WYW as a chess piece against TSM, only heightens my distrust of the firm. Ultimately I see Season 2 digging even more into that (why the fuck are these two powerhouse women beefing anyway?) and I think it’s going to heavily tie in with Youngwoo’s growth as a lawyer and HOPEFULLY THIS WILL ALSO INCLUDE ATTORNEY JUNG ☺️✨

- The Tae Su Mi Dilemma. I don’t like that she’s portrayed negatively for not wanting to have a baby in the first place, but that’s generally where my defense of her ends. The minute she learned about WYW she tried to have her shipped off because of her own political desires and she can fuck right off with that. And then the plotting in the shadows with Minwoo that eventually fell apart ... But to be honest, I feel like the show didn’t have a clue what they were doing with TSM’s character; the show painted TSM as this badass powerhouse of a character but at the same time reduces her to the simple title of mother and I feel like that sends mixed messages to me as the viewer. I’m guessing that they were aiming for a morally grey vibe, but she ends up just kind of reading as ... muddy to me.

However, even though TSM stepped down from the Minister of Justice candidacy, do we really think she’s just gonna move on and let Hanbada’s CEO out-maneuver her??? I think not. More than anything TSM has been characterized as political and calculating so I think there will be more clashing between the two of them in Season 2.

- The Minwoo Redemption.

*I walk on the stage and check the mic, clears throat*

THAT. Was not a redemption arc. That was a guy who quite literally just suddenly stopped being a huge gigantic ass. Randomly. And then they threw in a love line for shits and giggles and were like “love and romance will fix him and his problems”.

No. Rejected. I fully rejected that and I think Minwoo’s storyline and the TSM vs CEO storyline are some of the most poorly done ones on the show. Minwoo out and out tried to frame Youngwoo and get her fired in episode 12 (I believe it was) and then in episode 14 he’s biting his tongue so he doesn’t spill her deep dark secret while he’s tipsy???? The math ain’t mathin’. Taking accountability for wrong you’ve done is a big part of being redeemed and Minwoo hasn’t had to take accountability for SHIT. I’m not saying he needs to prostrate himself before WYW and beg for forgiveness, but I am not happy about the 🤷‍♀️’guess he’s cool now’🤷‍♀️ narrative that’s being portrayed. The guy should be like “yeah, that thing I did was fucked up”, at the very least! The bar is so low y’all 😭

I hope they develop him more in Season 2 - a true redemption arc could be well done if some real work was put into his character development. For some reason I’m envisioning a scenario where Soo-yeon’s dad tries to bribe him; Idk enough about his background to know if that would make sense story-wise, but it would be interesting if he was put into the position of choosing between his crush and explicit money/power - which is what he’s always wanted. If they’re really gonna try to redeem him and make him a character I don’t wrinkle my nose at every-time he appears on my screen (no hate to the actor, he’s obviously done a fantastic job) - give me something meaty 🥩 give me grief and desire and conflict and none of this wamby pamby “well if this is what Soo-yeon wants, I guess I’ll do it” nonsense.

which, just as a side note, Minwoo and Soo-yeon having a ‘romantic moment’ while bonding over Youngwoo’s sPeCiAl TrEaTmEnT (literally right after she was KICKED OFF A CASE) is not, and never will be, the move. #sorrynotsorry 🤷‍♀️

- I love Attorney Jung, but he needs to slow the fuck down. You love him, I love him, we all agree he’s been a great mentor and teacher and that’s where his strength lies. I’m not even terribly mad about the Cancer storyline because he lived and it gave us that amazing found family scene with the noodles 🍜 😭 (I wanted to eat noodles so bad after that ep!) However, while the wink wink nudge nudge he gave us at the end was funny, boi better be taking a break! He doesn’t have to quit working entirely, but he does need to slow down - and I’d love to see him leave to start his own practice or go work with Attorney Ryu at hers. He can still do important and meaningful work without running himself ragged to do so, or working for large money hungry corporation that will make him sacrifice his integrity - and! He can take Attorney Woo with him. ✨ Their work dynamic was my favorite by the end of the show. Pre-episode 12-16, it would’ve been Youngwoo and Junho’s but we really didn’t see as much of that comradery from them during the second half.

sidenote: did anyone else notice that Jung would start waving his arm (almost in a time out gesture) whenever he saw people might be offended by something Youngwoo said? like *waves hand* “she doesn’t mean it like that” - I thought this was so cute and a great acting choice

- The love confession and the cat thing. I’ve tried to find this analogy charming but I just can’t. I read a post explaining the translation difference between ‘owner’ and ‘butler’ and while that does seem like a cute cultural reference I just might not be getting, I can’t get past what the comparison signifies for me, personally. It reminded me of a tiktok I watched, criticizing pop-culture and more main stream media for constantly portraying the neurodivergent and autistic characters as an “other”, as ‘not human’ - the list going on from robots, to aliens, to animals or monsters.

In Star Trek, its Spock (alien) and Data (android). In Marvel, it’s Groot (alien), Drax (alien), Mantis (alien), Rocket Raccoon (animal? Science lab experiment? 😬), and Vision (AI). And those are some cool characters - don’t get me wrong, but if you knock out every single one that is A) not human and/or B) a gigantic asshole, that leaves very few characters left for me to try to see myself in. Even in Woo Youngwoo’s analogy that she explains to TSM, everyone involved is a whale - she’s just a different species of whale. And in the opening credits of the show - they always show a blue duck among a bunch of yellow ducks. There are many ways to indicate someone being different without isolating them from the human experience. So yeah, it rubs me wrong seeing another show fall into that trap even in a teeny tiny way, but worse than that *for me* - a cat and its butler, or caretaker which seems to be the underlying message, are not equals. And that’s one thing I know a lot of us wanted for Woo Youngwoo. More than anything we wanted a romance for her where she was an equal partner, not someone who needed to be watched after. If I squint a little bit I can kinda understand what they were *trying* to convey but this just ... missed the mark for me. You are all more than welcome to feel differently, of course.

And ironically - almost in direct contrast to my discomfort with the cat analogy - immediately preceding the scene is when Youngwoo leaves the car to confront TSM but as she goes, she looks back at Junho. She leaves, off to discover her next moment of wonder - to do her job, but she looks back at him. She’s reminding him that she knows he’s there, that she cares. She’s showing Junho that even though her wonderful brilliant beautiful self is off on another quest, she hasn’t forgotten him - when so many times before in this show she’s run off without notice or concern (not saying that's a bad thing; just pointing out the change) and now she’s giving him a sweet acknowledgement of his presence in her life. And the way Junho teared up seeing her do that 😭 It was that part - more than anything else - that gave me warm fuzzies and made me think “yeah, they can do this.”

I’m happy that our whale couple made it back to each other but damn, does it feel bitter sweet in a lot of ways. It’s a strange headspace for me to be in with this show, for it to make me uncomfy but also happy at varying levels during different moments.

What I would like to see in Season 2:

- Little brother Sang Hyun and Woo Youngwoo: Youngwoo’s reaction to being called Noona 😭 (instantly she was like, “I must protecc!”) was heartfelt and relatable. I loved them. I want more of them. I want to see them interact and eat kimbap together.

sidenote: I defo think Sang Hyun and TSM are autistic and I’d love for the show to really lean into that more in S2

- Junho needs to meet her dad and be let in on the family secret cause I dislike that it was MINWOO of all people who recognized how heavy it was for Youngwoo to be working a case with her bio-mom and half brother, and then to have to be the one to interrogate him! It was so stressful.

- Woo Youngwoo’s independence: A big motivator for me to continue watching was because of Youngwoo’s personal development; I wanted to see her continue to grow, to become more independent and self sufficient as time went on. Wasn’t she at one point talking about moving out of her dad’s place and staying by herself? I guess that got thrown out because they weren’t sure if she could afford it but our girl is a fulltime attorney now so I really hope that’s on the agenda! She doesn’t have to live alone, she could even move in with Dong Geurami!!! Which I would personally love because we didn’t get nearly enough WYW and DGR scenes in the-episodes-that-shall-not-be-named.

- For the love of god stop cutting off the conclusions of formative discussions surrounding Youngwoo and Junho’s relationship! and please show them having more functional communication cause wow I’m still scarred from the-episodes-that-shall-not-be-named. And if the writers start out Season 2 with more writing like THAT ... then I will put on a party hat cause I will be the clowniest of clowns 🤡

My tinfoil hat theory: it literally feels like different writers were working on some unexpected storylines starting around episode 13. I don’t know much about filming schedules or anything but I do know that some things can be filmed beforehand and changed afterwards depending on where they want the show to go based on public response. I can’t help but wonder if after the praise they got, and they knew a second season was highly likely, that they changed some things around to drag it out more and leave something to delve into during S2. I keep thinking about what Soo-yeon said to Minwoo in Jeju; “I almost called the police and had you arrested for acting so out of character!” (or something along those lines). I could be way off but that feels very on the nose; and if Minwoo’s storyline ending up changing last minute, it would make sense to me.

In Conclusion: If this were a stand alone season, I don’t think I could be satisfied with how it ended.

But! They have been given a second season, and I hope they take the opportunity to improve the things they dropped the ball on. It’s not a chance a lot of dramas get, so I hope they grab it with both hands.

I may not necessarily be running to my Netflix when S2 drops. I’ll probably feel more inclined to wait it out a bit and gauge how it’s going based on other’s reactions but I’m surprised to say (given how painful some of these episodes were to re-watch - that lunch with Junho’s sister will live in infamy - eek!) I’m actually not opposed to checking in again to see what all these characters are up to in 2024.

Taking the good with the bad, is my stance for now I suppose.

#extraordinary attorney woo #eaw #Elle watches EAW #kdrama #k drama #korean drama #extraordinary attorney woo finale #long ass post #my post #my opinions #taking the sweet with the sour #the good with the bad

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voxxyboxxy · 1 year

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Masculine and Feminine | A Deeper Look into Gendered Binaries in Entities

Authors Note: I want to specify pretty early on that I fall towards the non-binary spectrum, falling into more gender apathy so the way I see gender as a whole is very “detached.” That is not a reflection on gender as a whole, as I don’t feel anything towards binary sides.

And while I will mention the mistranslation of masc and femme to have a decided gender association this isn’t really about actual gender, more so concepts regarding it in reference to divine entities and the divine femme and masc as concepts. This is a commentary post, which is my opinions and comments on the misuse of these terms in appropriation and misuse to attack and harm others.

I am not referring to the way I see a lot of us use these terms-which is typically based in self love. I’m referring to more mainstream media and toxic new-age ideals. This was also a post that was hard to keep organized due to the nature of it so… sorry about that.

Table of Contents

I.The Divine Binary

II.A Deeper Look

III.Why It Helps to Realize

The Divine Binary

The divine binary is something that has always confused me. Mainly because it feels to have an air of misogyny when applied to almost anything anymore. Often it seems like it boils down to “this is manly so this entity is a man.” Or “This is something WOMEN do, so a woman!” More so in that this is how people now treat it. When I was first on the scene Divine Feminine or Masculine simply meant “What makes you feel the most connected to (Feminine/Masculine)” and was very personal to each person and didn’t have any tie to gender or sex, more so just these balanced energies within us.

Men and women (as well as enbies-but for this post were mainly talking about entities in general so I will be primarily use masc and femme outside gender/sex) we’re seen to have both energies. Both were embraced and honored. Everyone has the divine energies, they just present in ways that make people feel more comfortable in themselves.

Now it seems a lot of times the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine do fall into more societal-based ideals for either sex. It’s a very binary scale of “men are leads, headstrong, and providers” and “women are soft, caring, patient caregivers.”

I do not believe it’s wrong to align yourself with one. I have no ties to either but gender apathy is just that. I am apathetic to the idea of masc or femme and just kinda do what I want in terms of dress or so. I do not comprehend things in terms of masc or femme. Others do and that’s okay, as long as it’s not based on transmisogyny, I think everyone has the freedom of where they feel most comfortable.

While I do want to be clear that I understand that men can be connected to the divine Feminine and vice versa, I want to provide commentary on how PEOPLE respond to those who do the “other perspective” mainly in the terms of entities.

Because I do feel that oftentimes we subconsciously assign things to either or based on what we’ve been taught is womanly or manly. I don’t see child care as a primarily “Womanly” trait or job. It’s child-rearing, they need to be cared for and realistically there should be at least two parents if not more people taking care of this child. Men, women, enbies, fluids, voids-child rearing should be done by those who are primarily watching said child. In some cultures that’s the whole family as it is. In others, it’s just the two people responsible for the child’s birth.

But I was raised and taught this. As the oldest grandchild and oldest child I was partly in charge of child rearing as well because I was much older than all my cousins and siblings. However, so I as the next born. Who was cis and AMAB because he was also the oldest for his family by a few years and capable of doing so. I was never taught that it was a “woman’s job” so never associated child care with women. This isn’t the same for all and I see this translate to entities when one seems to be gentle and caring that it’s immediately seen as motherly-but not fatherly. Typically I’ll see the use of fatherly when it’s more stern and strict-almost aloof and based in that air of discipline.

If we look at this article on Astrology.com it defines the two clearly; “The relationship between the two could sometimes be considered a battle between the head and the heart, with the Divine Masculine representing reason, logic, and analytical thinking, while the Divine Feminine is more attuned to intuition, subtlety, creativity, and emotional inner worlds.” Which, in my opinion, is a very fancy way to say “women are emotion lead and men are logic lead.”

While masculine and feminine themselves are not sex-based terms, more so descriptors, the way we as people use them oftentimes pulls them to be. This can affect the way we interact with others, ourselves, and our entities we interact with.

For example a lot of people lean towards a divine being in the form of masculine or feminine energies. In regards to divine entities specifically, I see this used a lot for things like “This deity is kind and polite and delicate so I see them as feminine energy!” And if it's a being that’s primarily pictured as male or so, some will even go as far as to say “they have to have a female epithet then!”

This typically isn’t a bother because I do believe any divine being will come to you in a way that will feel comfortable for you if they are coming to you. I also feel like as divine beings, our concepts of gender and sex matter very little to them so there’s not much to stop it. However I’ve always found it interesting that we have started separating them so much we just cannot picture a typically masc entity as just having femme qualities instead of needing to assign more too them in the regards of epithets.

But there are still levels of misogyny in some aspects of it. As well as appropriation in some cases. Lilith is a known demon, known primarily for her defiance of Adam and God, which cast her into the eternal damnation of being a demon in the first place. Lilith has become a large icon for feminists, and most Jewish practitioners just ask that if you wish to work with Lilith and say it’s Lilith to leave her in the context she exists in.

But I can’t help but see the irony in seeing a feminine figure display headstrong, clear, concise wants and be punished for it because women should never do that, and label it as masculine energy while also praising her as a feminist icon. We see her as this type of icon cause she essentially said “I am equal or I am not yours.” While simultaneously saying that this behavior is just masculine energy. And then turning to say “well divine femmes don’t act that way so she is also a man and divine masc” instead of “She wanted to be treated as an equal, and acted in a way that demanded respect.” I do view this, as do my jewish family members, as a form of appropriation. Her roots are a large part of who she is as a Demon and to erase this for the ease of misogyny is… ironic.

And, for me, I also question the actual motives behind it. Because usually, the feminine energy traits are one man “shouldn’t have” and vice versa. For example, a man who is willing to come into a room and order people is a strong leader. But if a woman were to come into the room she’s demanding and nagging, and sometimes even referred to in more unsavory terms. If a man cries from pain he’s often told to stop; where a woman would be comforted because she’s “supposed to be emotional.” This isn’t limited to the witchcraft community, but it is heavily apparent when we see “this entity was kind and soft to me so they must be a woman!” It’s not always wrong but not all women are kind and soft, not all men are rough and stern, and not all entities are men or women.

A Deeper Look

Now let me clarify here, I do not believe the terms are inherently sexist. I do think the way we as people use them often falls into a subconscious level of misogyny that we never actually address. Making something sound good doesn’t make it less harmful, especially because of the way we’ll start to frame it in our brains if we don’t sit back and add more nuance. Because truly that’s all that’s missing here.

Now It’s a thing that when we see a femme presenting person who’s loud, aggressive, commanding, or so on people say she’s hurt and in her masculine era, and we’ll know she’s healed once she reaches her feminine era and stops doing all of that stuff… And if a masc presenting person is overtly feminine it’s the same. They are broken and must heal to become “right.”

Which is just weird. And this is where we need to add some commentary and nuance even if it’s for ourselves.

Personally, and I know a lot of people here also see it this way, I believe that there is no right Divine to follow. I technically fall under the divine masculine to a t. I have no gender but was born AFAB. I'm not broken and need to heal because I am logic based and look at facts and not feelings. I do that because I have AuDHD (Autism and ADHD diagnosis). I can’t read social cues so when people talk about this stuff I am limited by what they said. It doesn’t make sense to me to beat around asking for something and hoping someone else will catch that you’re asking. However that doesn’t really make me masculine. It just makes me who I am-logic based because I struggle outside direct statements and facts.

But some people have told me that has nothing to do with anything in my brain outside I haven’t been able to “heal into my feminine era, and embrace the feminine divine within me.”

Well that’s because women can be headstrong. But when you see a woman act this way we’re conditioned to see a nag and a cruel woman because women should take up less space than men so when they take up the same amount we REALLY notice it.

The difference in sexism comes from the connotation. If it’s good when a man does it should be good when a woman does it. A strong leader should provide the same image in our minds whether or not we’re given a man or woman.

Telling people the way a deity acts doesn’t match the sex/gender we see them as, or even tell people they need to heal to “act appropriately” is… weird.

And going deeper into deities, I see a lot of people attribute genders to entities because of specific traits they associate with a specific gender. With deities, I do feel that there are no “right” or “wrong” ways to view them unless it steps into appropriation. That’s when we see issues. It is important to stay respectful of closed cultures and practices.

And while I don’t think entities care much about our gender norms, I do think they more than likely have reasons for what they do, when they do it, or how they do it. This is of course ignoring lore. Most people would second guess someone calling Aphrodite masculine but in a lot of her lore she does have properties that would align as “divine masculine.” But that doesn’t fit her lore. She’s a woman, read the stories she is!

But a lot of the behavior, like being head-strong and confident, loud and proud, etc is attributed to the Divine Masculine. But no one would ever suggest Aphrodite was anything but a woman-these are all just attributed to who she is.

Why It Helps to Realize

It helps to realize the language we use in these situations because often when things are grabbed in more mainstream media they become twisted and pushed to mean specific things and used to attack others. Similar to how I’m not broken and need to heal because I’m unable to read between the lines when people speak-I’m just autistic. I’m not in my masculine era because of that either-I’m just a more masc person in general by most standards. Divine feminine and Divine masculine have both sadly been twisted, and have stopped being about what makes someone feel connected and comfortable and started becoming about societal gender norms. And that becomes an issue when not even all societies have the same setup that we most often see.

And for some that is how they feel connected, it’s how they feel secure. But we do need to make sure we don’t push that belief onto others. That is where lines become blurred. When it stops being about personal and internal connections and starts becoming a push and shove to get people to behave a certain way. Femme and Masc and not solely gender-based terms. They are descriptors. Just descriptors that became bastardized over time.

And as long as we are being thoughtful in the way we uses these terms-and respectful to not only the cultures but also the people around us-there’s really no issue with them. I’ve just seen their more twisted nature becoming more apparent throughout media forms and wanted to comment on that.

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