#im very VERY happy with it. as much as i wanted to do the whole song

[moonbaetarot]

Pick a pile

what your future spouse loves about your appearance

1. 2. 3.

Pile 1

Your future spouse loves your features So much that they can’t wait to see your beautiful features on your children. your future spouse loves that you don’t care what others think of you like you wear what you want and you feel happy doing it. someone here may work with animals. they love how you look so beautiful with little to none makeup your just a natural you may like to use non toxic or like natural beauty hacks. This person loves your curly or wavy hair. You have something unique to you and they love this they have never laid eyes on someone like you. They also love your height. Your future spouse loves the details in your face your face is just beautiful to them. There is something about a flower here idk if you have a flower tattoo or a piece of jewelry that’s a flower but they think this really cute. This person thinks you just glow you may look very pretty in nature or in the sunlight. You may dress modest or not show a lot of skin out in public and they like this. They also love the way you look in white. If you wear any type of jewelry or clothing relating to your religion or culture they think this is really beautiful as well.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 2

Your future spouse loves how cute and innocent you look they may take pictures of you and you hold up a thumps up or a peace sign and they think this is cute. They like your small facial features and your side profile is on point. They love your hair the way you style it or just even when you’re wearing it natural. someone here may have many ear piercings Or a belly piercing. This person really loves your “chest” if you’re a woman I’m hearing “perfect for my hands” They are making it known in this reading that they love your “chest” lol. This person really thinks your whole body is beautiful. This person thinks you look very nurturing and mothering. They love your soft features. They think you smell really good as well your sent may be very floral. Someone here may love cherry blossoms. You may wear your hair half up half down. I feel like this person thinks you’re just so perfect like they look at you and just think how did they get this way like they are so beautiful. They are very in wow when they look at you. This person is really going to love the way you look as a mom they are going to find you so attractive just doing mother things.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 3

They love your face when you smile or laugh you may even blush or get red but they think this is cute. I feel like they find your laugh very cute as well. This person likes the way you look in bright colors especially yellow or orange they think it fits your personality very well. This person sees you as happy and bright I feel like when you are happy so are they. You may be a lot smaller then your future spouse if your insecure about being short or skinner don’t be your future spouse thinks your beautiful like that. They love your tattoos if you have any. Im seeing a tattoo or birth mark on your back. You may look really innocent but your not like your an “angle in the street freak in the sheet” this person likes that they are the only ones that gets to see this side of you. You may love reading as well but the books you read aren’t about unicorns and rainbows lol. I feel like your face and eyes are very telling as well like they can tell what you’re thinking just by your face. this person finds you very juicy you just looks so good to them they just wanna take a bite out of you lol. You may dye your hair a lot like one day your hair is brown the next your blonde.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

#pick a card #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick an image #tarot cards #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a reading #pick a deck #pick a crystal #pick a number #free tarot #daily tarot #tarot

[mipexch]

you WILL watch my ultrakill animation

#ultrakill #this thang been in the works for at least a year #im very VERY happy with it. as much as i wanted to do the whole song #but that wouldve taken. agugh. AGHHH. god knows how long #maybe one day! #gabriel #v1 #swordsmachine #id love to tag all of the guys that are in this video but i shant. #that post was right. it IS fun to gif your own animations #gen art #animations

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without- #distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just- #super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i- #read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :( #SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!! #but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little- #break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for- #designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much... #WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags. #new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

[mishapen-dear]

look at them having a completely normal non-manipulative friendship what good friends they all are. look at those happy smiles and ignore the red lines im sure the red has no symbolism at all hahaha

#mishapen draws #qsmp #jaiden fanart #took a few days to figure out exactly what i wanted to do with this and im really happy with where it turned out :] #i normally dont put so much effort into a piece but i wanted a cool new banner #my fave detail is absolutely the little bits of red though #if you look very closely there's a little bit of red in the cucus smiles and eyes #(and a little bit of red on the arm behind cucurucho's back- hiding evidence) #and the red that emphasizes jaiden's smile is extra bright red #enjoy the island etc etc #i dont normally use texture backgrounds or leaf brushes but i totally get why people do holy crap they're SICK #the perfect lil bit of background noise hehe #i had a lot of trouble with the colours until i put a greyscale filter on everything and realized that jaiden's values blended her into #the bg. it got a whole lot easier when i paused to figure out the values and then added the colour #overall i think im happiest with jaiden's face though she just. she looks so happy #but that fucking red..... #okay tag ramble over godspeed nerds remember that if your colours look fucked up you may just need to experiment with the values

[sc3n3kitt3h]

IM LIKE IF A BOY WAS A MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL WAS A SCENE FAG

#SCENE ART #FUNKY COOL ART #T SLUR TW #F SLUR TW #CONTEXT: MY MOM CALLED ME A TRANNY AND A FAGGOT DURING AN ARGUEMENT WITH ME AND HER AND MY DAD #IT DOESNT REALLY BOTHER ME ANYMORE THEYRE DUMB AND CONFUSED AND THEY ONLY LISTEN TO FOX NEWS ABOUT ANYTHING EVER #AND THEY THINK MY BABY FOOD MADE ME AUTISTIC #SO THEIR OPINION ON MY IDENTITY IS STUPID AND WRONG #ANYWAYS I WAS KINDA PISSY ABOUT IT SO I MADE SOMETHING KINDA EZ TO FEEL BETTER AND GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF DOING DIGITAL ART #CUZ IM STILL GETTING USED 2 MY NEW TABLET!!!!!!!!! SIMILAR MODEL SO ITS NO BIGGIE BUT STILL #ANYWAYS IF U COULDNT TELL IM IN A BIG CAPSLOCK MOOD TODAY 4 WHATEVR REASON LAWLZ #ANYWAYS ANYWAYS YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POSITIVE VENT THING IF U WANNA CALL IT THAT #IM NOT SAD ANYMORE CUZ I HAVE FRIENDS AND THEY THINK IM COOL!!!!!!!! AND I THINK IM COOL TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AND ITS SO POGGERS IT WAS SO WORTH IT #AS IN EVERYTHING WAS!!!!!! #AND THIS IS VERY VAGUE BUT THATS FINE CUZ I DONT REALLY WANT ANYONE ON HERE 2 UNDERSTAND LOLZ. OR AT LEAST ALL THE RANDOS FOLLOWING ME #ILY ALL IDK WHO U R THO XD AND U DONT HAVE 2 KNOW MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE STORY #BUT I DO WANT IT TO BE KNOWN SOMEWHERE THAT IM VERY HAPPY AND EXCITED TO BE ALIVE DESPITE EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENED #AS IN EVERYTHING YOU ALL DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT #AND I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AS MUCH AS I LOVE EVERYONE ELSE EVER EVEN MY DUMBFUCK PARENTS!!!!!!!!! #IM SO HAPPY IM ALIVE IM SO HAPPY UR ALIVE TOO :) EVEN IF I DONT KNOW WHO U R (IDK WHO IS AND ISNT READING THIS) #SO I HOPE UR ALL HAPPY WITH URSELVES 2 AND IF UR NOT I HOPE U CAN BE ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #AND SPEAKING OF DAYS (AS IN 12AM FOR ME AS OF TYPING THIS) I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD 1 TODAY >:D <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dailynakaharachuuya]

(just some thoughts about things, I think its rather long so you don't have to read ❤️❤️)

#(sorry for the sudden post but hmmm) #(I cant tell if I am just not into bsd as much as other people) #(or if its simply bc Im just not as opinionated) #(the current story arc has gotten so far and like woah that I don't feel like super excited or shocked whenever there's a new update) #(either that or seeing everyones complaints about everything kinda dampens the excitement) #(tbh I really enjoyed up to like the guild arc but once it got into the whole like fyodor business my brain stopped) #(its interesting but maybe I just like happy endings too much haha) #(I dont talk to anyone in the fandom but I feel like it is very negative( #(hence the reason why I dont really interact outside of posting these drawings every once in a while) #(I like slice of life stuff I suppose and all this is too much haha I much prefer bsd wan honestly) #(itd probably be easier to just ignore the fandom or so) #(but its a bit difficult to do when I wanna see cool art and cool ideas too) #(I dont know) #(maybe bc I dont remember much from the manga but I dont feel as negative as others) #(sorry this was really long hahaha) #(I think I just dont want to feel alone again) #(though I dont have any mutuals so I guess I kinda already am haha) #(🌟🌟 it makes me happy if even one person likes my drawings or ideas) #(makes me feel like I can do it) #(and not feel so negative about something I quite enjoy!)

[luxsea]

i heard karlachs monologue was rlly good but holy shit i genuinely dont think i'll be the same after that

#olive.txt #bg3 spoilers #spoilers in tags !! #samantha seriously deserves an award that was soul wrenching #i think back in interviews where they talked abt karlachs trauma and how she reverts into a scared child #the whole encounter w gortash was very much that #and he speaks down to her and calls her a brat #imagine saying ''what do you know about the greater good'' TO THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF GOOD #he doesnt care what he did to her at all but she does care!! he betrayed her and stole her future and there is no closure! #well i felt pretty satisfied i casted a dancing scroll on him and let karlach go to town *youre gonna go far kid plays in the distance* #her pain and anger is so understandable no one deserves this especially not her #the delivery of ''my heart. it was mine. and they took it'' is so incredibly natural and heartbreaking. this scene gave me actual heartburn #shes seemed pretty confident abt dying but i guess in her own words courage isnt fearlessness :( #ugh the part where she just wants you to tell her everything will be alright and that you can save her!!! so cruel larian! #for a character that lost their heart she sure as hell didnt lose her soul </3 #''THANKS FOR LISTENING. FOR EXISTING. LOVE YOU.'' #yeah was not prepared for what im guessing is the romantic version of her scene back at camp #idk why i thought they wouldnt address it but wow when she asks if youll stay w her when its her time to go. im in shambles #might take back some of my opinions abt her endings. its still cruel she doesnt get a Happy ending but its being handled rlly well so far

[gifti3]

happy bday to me! 🎂🥳🎉

for this very special day i wanted to list and compare the presents and interactions i got in the mobile games ive been playing consistently lmao

under cut cause the pics are big

Time Princess A letter with 10 golden tickets, 100 stamina, and 10000 coins

Obey Me! Nightbringer 1 UR+, UR, and SSR Joker each 3 Demon Vouchers 30 Karma Points 200 AP 30000 Grim 50 Devil Points Along with a bday video, birthday calls from the characters throughout the day and a UR guarantee for a 10 pull There's half-off on Devil Tree unlocks There's also special birthday dialogue in the Surprise Guests: -- the first Surprise Guest I did gave me 30 more Devil Points -- and you can press anywhere on the boys and get max hearts :]

What in HELL is Bad They haven't implemented bday stuff yet so nothing (´。＿。｀)

Twisted Wonderland A Happy Birthday from the character you have set as your favorite card and a Tenfold Key Set (for rolls)

and last but not least.....*drum roll* 🥁🥁🥁 Love and Deepsace! Special Happy Birthdays from each guy which include them singing happy birthday to you :3 Birthday Dialogue on the home screen Presents from each one (items you can use to decorate their desks) 500 Diamonds 5 Empyrean Wishes 1 Bottle of Wishes: SSR 1 Energy Capsule: Powerful And 2 birthday stickers

#so whb is technically in last place but since its a newer game ill let it pass this year #so time princess is next in line for last place #its a fine gift but since they dont have any characters saying happy birthday it doesnt do much for me #nightbringer kinda surprised me! #i was expecting a call and some devil points #but this is a lot more then i expected :3c #also i go crazy for free UR+ Jokers #i was thinking of adding regular obey me but decided to skip it since i only really just log in for dailies for the most part #(and i dont even do that everyday if im not feeling it) #also theyre practically the same minus the calls (but i have the old ones that i havent listened to yet still) #twst was cute nothing too crazy #(thank you for ur presence lilia) #i liked love and deepspaces happy bdays from the characters a lot because they sang lmao 😭 #also i feel very special from them saying all this nice stuff about hoping that i get what i want and that i stay healthy and stuff dwsiiws #it feels like obey me has more in character interactions BUT when i think it about it more #deepspace has the models actually hand you gifts #also the moment you have with the characters feels more personal #but tbf theres more obey me characters and you do get those calls throughout the whole day! (also they give more stuff imo) #so i cant really pick which one i liked more :d #dutp #obey me nightbringer #twisted wonderland #love and deepspace #im now 26.... #oh jeez #long post #still doing the same shit i was doing in middle school uashusha (i mean playing dating games) #my personality has refined over the years tho #anyways im gonna celebrate tomorrow with my family :] #this is the end of my post tho ill probably post about the asmo phone call later

[burymeinwillow]

Everytime I draw Joe Cartwright I get overwhelmed with the desire to only ever draw Joe

#you dont understand #my hyperfixation with Bonanza started around 2014-2015 but I didn't start to draw fanart of Joe or Bonanza until like... 2018. #It's hard to explain but back then I was TERRIFIED of drawing Joe cause I was afraid I would draw him wrong and get discouraged by- #not being a talented enough artist #and OH I wanted to draw fanart so badly - But I didn't dare to do it. I was afraid to be self-indulgent #Going YEARS and wanting so badly to draw my favorite character but being scared to do it... compared to know #I'm way more self-indulgent than I was- and now I'm drawing Bonanza Fanart and being indulgent in it and it makes me beyond happy #It makes me so happy I'm actually crying #I draw Joe Cartwright and it just makes me so unbelieveably happy... happy that I CAN do it. Happy that I am talented enough. #Being talented doesn't even really matter - Happy that I learned to be self-indulgent and HAVE FUN. and most of that is thanks to Juni. #I could write a whole damn essay on how much it means to me #so yes drawing Joe makes me so very happy #im not crying - not at all

[bumpscosity]

star tours update officially adding peridia ahsoka cassian and mando + grogu. if you even care.

#they only mentioned these 4 things which is making me 🤨 #like i hope this isn't it i want and ezra transmission i want more planets come onnnnn #i want a new opener with the emperor or thrawn or elsbeth pleeeeease #sassy speaks #dl #sw #idk why i didn't think abt cassian that rocks im rly happy he's gonna be in it #trying to figure out where they're gonna put him tho bc like. he was very much Not Alive during the og trilogy like that's the whole point #but you can't put him in the prequel trilogy obv like timeline wise where is he going #then again star tours doesn't adhere to timelines as much as other star wars stuff bc she's a bad bitch and get to do what she wants #but with disney getting stricter and stricter with non canon content by the day ig i figured they wouldn't let star tours break it #more than it already has #anyways i have to dig up my predictions list #bc i'm still holding out hope that there's more they aren't telling us abt

[be-good-to-bugs]

2023 / oh to be such a lesbian that your crush turns into a god and changes the laws of the universe itself in order to change your fate. meduka meguka you truly are like no other.

#madoka magica #pmmm #madoka kaname #magical girl #puella magi madoka magica #fanart #orbs art #anyway. these were quick lazy stuff but im very happy with them. trying very hard to change how i draw #i need to be more chill and silly about it. feeling to stiff and bleh about drawing lately. this was v good for me #i had wanted to shade this but itd take so much effort to shade the lineless and the lined its not really worth it #i think it looks good as is and ik id just get bored and then never finish this drawing ever if i tried to shade it #anyway. just rewatched this show and. its so good. it like. changed something in me when i first watched it 6 years ago #and not exaggerating. i have though about this show almost every single day since then. my brain ran with the whole concept #thats good though. its been 1 of 2 main focuses since i was 11. it means a whole lot to me. when i finally learned of and watched rebellion #my little brain was ecstatic. i hadnt felt joy love and inspiration like that in such a long time and i havent since. #idk. its my only main special interest that wasnt tainted by others thinking it was stupid. hell even my mo watched the show and loved it #anyway ill stop talking now uh. its 6am and im rambling. not that i wouldnt do that at 6pm too

[bonesrbleaching]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!' #'i wouldnt lie to you!' #okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time. #its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!' #yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up. #i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up. #and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense. #shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else. #im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that. #and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares. #and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look? #then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness. #SORRY RANT OVER. #im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric. #tw homophobia #tw transphobes

[piplupod]

head in my hands. i promise i am not a scary unhinged person fdsgjkl, and none of my silly happy posting is fake, i am just very good at repressing and partitioning things. i can be having the worst day of my life and still enjoy jokes and be genuinely having a good time with my silly little characters and stories i come up with. this brain LOVES to section off shit that is genuinely unbearable (because how else do you live with that? if not putting it in a place where you cannot feel it?) so that i can cope and find joy in life still fsdjkl i simply love having a good time too much to ever make it up

#pippen needs 2nd breakfast #i want to make friends and be a pleasant person to be around so badly but fhdsjkl then . this household hurts me as it is wont to do #and i have a small breakdown here bc it all feels so awful and i feel like if i keep it locked inside and hidden i will actually CrackTM #and then i feel like that is . well. understandably! a lot! for other ppl to see #and it is very upsetting and scary and awful to read. i know. im so well aware fjdskl #but also augh. augh augh augh. i try very hard to not post abt things as much as i humanly can avoid doing so #but i am very silly and fuck up my own rules for myself when i have a particularly bad experience w mother o' mine #i am worried that if i say anything to the effect of ''life is terrible and i am straight up not having a good time'' #then it makes all my other posting look disingenuous or smth. i am literally just posting what is on my brain currently when i post stuff #and oftentimes my brain is like... a silly little swirl-patterned rubber bouncy ball with a happy face on it HDSGJKL #that is like... a lot of my whole deal as a part of the brain fsdfjkl #even with all the grief and upset i can still have a good time bc we stay silly !!!! by god we stay silly through it all !!! #i will shrug my shoulders and say ''ah well what can ya do!'' after getting screamed at or told i'm a disappointment to the family lmfao #because honestly... what can you do dsfkl it is what it is and theres rly nothing i can do about this all #anyways i am talking toooooo much sorry fdsjgkl once again i will delete all this later so i dont upset ppl too much dsjkl augh augh sorry

[todayisafridaynight]

i solemnly swear not to write a fic with a similar premise as one ive done in the past but also i like it when people slow dance.....

#snap chats #im thinking of those geezers again.... forgive me father..... #im making my fanfic in the tags fuck it. no one read these im being cringe but i need to be free #anwyay.... i want yokoyama to show me the tally chart for how many nights arakawa and jo stay late at the office alone #just_the_two_of_us.mp3 right and i hope arakawa has a lil radio playing music #maybe some songs they'd play in the background of his stageplays... maybe even a lil miyamo haruki... #we call that a callback heh.... cause i ref'd her b4..... moving on.... #i hope arakawa gets that Boss Sense and knows jo's done with his work for the night and invites him in his office #and i hope when he walks in a new song starts and then arakawa gets A Look right #just a small aside a small laugh like Oh Akane Never Liked This One but then goes on how she was still happy to dance with him to it.. #and jo just. 🧍‍♂️ . like how does he respond to that. just smile and nod boys smile and nod. except jo doesnt smile he just nods #AND OF COURSE THE LEGALLY REQUIRED QUESTION 'do you dance jo' and no ! he does not. never has most likely never will #until that night anyway <3 one 'it's easy' later and they're just squished in that space between arakawa's desk and the couches #and it just nice bro... maybe arakawa talks a bit bout the song/s that are playin and the genre as a whole #jo wont say much.. he's very much a listener and thats ok hes always happy to lend an ear to arakawa #yk.. just regular things to do with your co workers haha... #i hope jo opens up about his music preferences... of which i dont know what they'd be sincerely #the comedy bit of my brain only imagines metal/rock but i truly wouldnt know... #if he likes art then he might like the same kind of music arakawa enjoys.. my fave bit they can be art enjoyers together.... #lmao bye arakawa thinkin to himself What A Nice Moment and jo's just trying his best not to literally step on his toes #or just fuck up in some way like my man RELAX this is supposed to be RELAXING #would arakawa notice how tense he is omg. making myself insane the more i type I WILL NOT OPEN A GOOGLE DOC I REFUSE #the visions will just have to torment me... i must make more arasawa asap... #i have another dorky vision in mind that's a sequel to that comic i shat out a couple nights ago... its short but its cute i think.. #maybe tomorrow as a warm up or after i do a lil of comm stuff... for now gn.... i love old people....

[marcmorrigan]

im not gonna make this rebloggable bc its just two unrelated drawings slapped together in layout but like. i put them next to each other to play compare & contrast and ended up HURTING MY OWN FEELINGS... beyond looks even more in love when hes next to L ouch ouch ouch

#my art #death note #beyond birthday #l lawliet #another note #also im SOOO happy with the way they like... dont LOOK like each other in the face but do give off similar energies #goal achieved i lov them both sm #also the level of connection and interaction between these two when i didnt draw them w Intent For That To Be There #is making me so excited about how good KatH is gonna look whenever i actually draw it #like if i can do this on accident imagine how hard its gonna hit when i do it on purpose #ANYWAY im trying to post more frequently on here and more casually bc i just want to like! #make art and post art and talk about art #so posting little edits and stuff like this with commentary is something i might start doing more often! its fun i love to talk #also its v funny to me that you can see very clearly that i switched my sketching brush in the time between these two sketches lol #cool that they still match so nice tho!!! #oh i wanna add in the tags. was listening to my B.B. playlist while working on him obvs. and the MAIN song i had on repeat from it #was 'adams ribs' by jensen mcrae #'this love letter begins: to adam‚ from your ribs' and 'adam‚ will you claim me as your own' hit especially hard for them #but the whole song is just devastating in general for me... its SO much. it eviscerates me

[roachemoji]

#bo posting #talky #ive been writing so much the last few days and as great as it iss #i miss drawing so much #i enjoy being creative and im so happy i get to do this for someone i love dearly #but DAMN i wish i could just draw #and im also stressed out because i decided i wanna keep this project private... #like im gonna delete links n posts n stuff to it i dont wanna post about it anymore #this is a gift to someone i love and i wanna keep it between us #and i aughahdkashd #i feel SHITTY like im keeping a secret #but this is special and important #Im scared that im making people jealous because i havent been very present since the whole fiasco with my medication #and the fact that my sleep schedule is far more consistent because im trying to time it be awake when my friends in later timezones #are actually online? #Which makes it harder to stay up late #like i get ready for bed at 11pm lmao #im trying so hard to spend time with everyone equally #or plan a head so i try to have movie nights or eat dinner or talk with friends before other plans if i can spare the energy #because i DONT want them to feel left out or like im prioritizing other people #but i still worry that they might feel that way and im too scared to talk about it #because theres a mountain of other fucking issues #and ive dug myself into a hole of things i havent beenable to talk about #because ive been drugged out of my mind and am only just now in this very moment realizing how present i am mentally #AHHHHHHHAJHKFSHJASKDHKJ #maintaining friendships is so fucking hard for me and i hate it so much #it shouldnt be this hard but it is!!!!!!!!!!! #i shouldnt struggle with balancing my time between people but it feels like such a task and i feel so shitty saying that #i love my friends but i feel like a bad friend