#im tired of having the same convos over and over

[garlicowboy]

had a brief convo w new manager today that told me he’s an #Ally but i still cannot find it in me to correct him on his incorrect pronoun usage… there’s just something so humiliating abt having that conversation in the workplace

#plus the amount of times i already Have had that convo & it’s been acknowledged & also not taken on board #i don’t have the energy… #and im so embarrassed to utter the words My Pronouns Are in public. please god #like im too tired of it im sick of hearing myself repeat the same things over & over i no longer wish to think abt gender #i just Am. i simply happen to exist. i am in a state of Being for sure. #anything else… (waves hand vaguely) #it isnt my business anymore. i am opting out #mine #txt

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

.

#i get that theyre scared but im so tired of family members saying they want more guns n more shooters sent to prison n see how they like it #every time i hear anybody close to me speak up about this i get geniunely so drained. no boundaries to speak of rn. and still i want to #pipe up and mention that maybeee consider not that. but i realize even that one intervention of a 1sided convo will not get them to wake up #it takes a process. it takes slow and long. #and i know i have a responsibility to intervene when possible. but like rn? im exhausted and miserable and not resourced enough to take care #of myself and these other people at the same time. they really are out here hushing each other whenever they talk ''political'' in fear ill #keen over and die from the additional mental strain as if i dont think about these things on the daily #idk the ppl surrounding me are so intolerable to me rn. at least a function of that is how much im intolerable to myself and how shaken i am #mentally spiritually emotionally intellectually. whatever #im so tired of being a women like how they think a woman or a man should be. im so tired that im just sucking it all up and unable to #turn it into direction towards more useful ends. now it just sinks to the pit of me and stays congealed and im stuck. im stuck. im stuck! #i miss being in a place where i could see all this and move forward anyways without getting knocked out of alignment. #it rly feels like rn im crushed into either a fetal position spiritually or on my hands trying to howl toothlessly and w/o clarity #i have so much trouble trying to stay in my body and letting myself talk shit. any kinda shit. im starting debates im getting run down im #getting mired in the pointlessness of being right or being better or being more correct than ever. im starting shit i dont have to in the #name of glory or betterment. and directly tied to this is getting so mired up in the guild and dread and panic of proving and being a talksp #erson #i get threatened much more easily and i get intimidated much more easily. i try to take up as little space as possible. as if doing so will #actually do something to help me breathe. what a joke! #what a default state return to patterned meanness. sorry. im trying to collect myself and step down without hurting myself. #it doesnt feel like im moving at all from where im at but im probably crawling. im probably inching myself along. #keep making room for being watched though. i feel like im being watched. i keep thinking im letting down all the people ive talked to b4 abt #such things. i wonder if they would sneer at me? i keep looking towards how i was few months ago when i had more energy/presence/okayness #and i miss having fun. i miss the knowing that we would be okay we would figure it out as we figure it out #i miss not falling into the trap of proving myself to ppl and if i did to climb back out. #rn if its not flattened and a distant dissociated state im generally embarassed to exist. to speak. to know its never now/never. #i miss knowing and believing concretely that there are people many people doing this work who are thinking hard and doing hard things #and offering contempt to myself is like condemning myself to burn out farther and farther and the best i can do rn to counter that is #acknowledging i have indeed done the bare minimum; which is wise. #acknowledging i have indeed thought ill and i can follow that up w a bringing back to an acknowledgement of my efforts.

[plumberrypudding]

how do you be supportive of your bestie’s crush while also being an autistic aroace who doesn’t understand or really care about the theatrics and everything that goes with having crush and getting closer to them

#genuine question #bc im kind of tired of having basically the same convo over and over but i don’t want to #make her feel bad for talking to me or feel like she can’t share this kind of thing with me #but how do i engage when i just really don’t have anything to say ab it

[anton-luvr]

hiiiiii!! if you don’t mind could you write about ex boyfriend!anton who gets jealous of wonbin because he keeps making fem!reader laugh (they are having a staycation tgt after finishing finals). wonbin and her are currently cooking dinner at the kitchen while anton just sits on the sofa with the other friends (could be anyone tho). they look very close and comfortable with each other so anton chooses to go out to get some fresh air. he eventually decided to swim as it might help him to calm down a bit. not long after that, she comes to him to tell him that the dinner is ready but it turns out differently (anton drags her into pool with him lol and they have a long overdue convo there.)

thank youuuu no pressure tho ❤️❤️❤️

# ALWAYS WAIT FOR YOU.

𖦹 ex bf!anton x fem!reader | fluff & angst 𖦹 note ; im so sorry anon i felt like this could be better but my brain is just not.. braining. IM SORRY I HOPE YOU LIKE IT + reqs closing soon!!

"Here comes the choo choo train!" Wonbin coos, steering a spoon full of mashed potatoes towards you.

"Stop it!" you shriek, laughing as you whack his arm away from you. "I hate potatoes!"

Wonbin giggles, setting the spoon back into the pot.

"You didn't seem to hate potatoes when we were at the dining hall the other day," he jokes, poking you in the shoulder playfully.

You click your tongue, stepping away to look for parsley. "It was free food, 'Bin," you reason. "Who doesn't like free food?"

The glass jar of green herbs catches your attention, resting on the top shelf of the cupboard.

"Can you help me get the parsley? It's up there." you ask, tugging at his jacket.

"What would you do without me?" Wonbin laughs, ruffling your hair before easily reaching up for the jar.

Anton wonders the same thing as he watches the entire thing from the living room, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa.

The wound of your breakup from several weeks ago was still fresh, even though he was the one who called it quits.

Just because of one stupid misunderstanding over you coming home late, everything had blown out of proportion.

Amongst the tired shouting, confusing accusations, and tears shed, Anton had called it off in the heat of the moment.

He was really regretting it as he continued eyeing the both of you.

Did you really need to be so affectionate while making dinner?

Were mashed potatoes even that funny?

Why did you seem so much happier with Wonbin than you had been with him?

He feels his head spin from the jealousy and anger bubbling in his chest, and he stands up abruptly.

"I'm going out," the Boston-born boy mumbles. "Gonna get some fresh air."

Your other friends, Eunseok and Sohee, hum in response; they were too busy playing the PS4 to notice the discomfort in Anton's voice.

Frustrated, Anton ran his hands through his hair as he sat down by the pool.

How could he mess up so badly?

His mind mapped out a million different scenarios if he hadn't broken up with you, plagiarizing the poor boy's mind. If only he had just communicated with you.

"God, I hate this." he mumbles to himself.

Shaking his head, Anton yanks his tank top off and tosses it aside. Maybe a quick swim would help him clear his mind.

The serenity of the water calmed the thoughts in his head, and Anton tried to logically think of a way to solve the issue.

Maybe he could just talk to you? But if so, when and where? What was he even going to say?

Anton barely got to think of anything else when he heard someone calling for him.

"Hey, dinner's gonna be ready soon," you say, standing close by the pool. "Do you wanna go take a shower first?"

He grips on to the end of the pool, supporting his body as he caught his breath and stared at you.

"Are you okay?" you asked slowly, feeling flustered by his all-too-familiar stare.

Without another word, Anton pulls you right into the water with him.

"What are you doing?" you spluttered when you resurfaced, wiping the water off your face.

"I need to talk to you about something," Anton pleaded, his hands holding onto your waist.

"But here? Right before dinner?" you questioned, dumbfounded.

He nods, praying that you'd stay.

"Okay, fine. But make it quick." you mumble.

Anton feels his hands clam up as he clears his throat. He can't mess this up.

"Well, I'm... sorry." he mumbles, voice closing up.

A tense moment of silence passes by, only interrupted by the sound of water sloshing around as you treaded in the pool.

"That's all you have to say?" you ask. "Because if that's all, then I'm gonna head back inside."

"N-No, there's more." he hurriedly assures you.

Staring at him as if to say 'go on', Anton gulps.

"This is all my fault. I didn't mean to shout at you and accuse you of those things that night, I was just... I was worried. And jealous. And scared. I know it makes me sound like a shit person, and I kind of am a shit person, but I really didn't mean it." he starts.

"I didn't mean to break up with you, I was just so stupidly scared that you were out with someone else. I should've listened to you and given you a chance to explain your side of the story, and I'm just.. I'm just so sorry, Y/N. This is all my fault."

Tears start rolling down his cheeks, but he doesn't let that stop him.

"If you've already moved on and you're interested in... someone else, then I won't interfere," he sniffles. "But if you're not, then can we get back together?" he asks, so quiet that you can barely hear him.

Anton's hands slip into yours, and he holds on to them tightly. "I promise I'll change. I'll be the best boyfriend that you deserve."

His eyes gaze into yours sincerely, sparkly with tears and vulnerability.

"Anton, I don't know." you sigh.

"I'm not interested in anyone else right now, but you really hurt me that night." you whisper, voice laced with pain.

"Like, why would you even think I was out cheating on you? Don't you know that I love you too much to even think of doing that?"

Anton feels his heart shatter into a million pieces at your words, guilt crashing down even heavier on him.

"I know, I'm so sorry." he mumbles, hiding his face in his hands. "But can you give me another chance?"

If this was with any of your other ex-boyfriends, you'd say no immediately and shove them away, but Anton was different.

He was the only one who actually treated you right; giving you his jacket when you're cold, trying his best to cook your favorite meals for you even if it's two in the morning, and helping you study when you couldn't understand a single question.

But of course, he wasn't perfect. He was still human after all.

And deep down, a part of you really wanted to stay and love him more, working together through his flaws to make the best out of your relationship.

So you sigh, gently cupping his face.

"Okay, I'll give you another chance." you whisper, smiling softly. Anton bursts into tears as he throws himself around you, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

"Thank you," he repeats over and over again, pressing kisses all over your face.

You laugh at his sudden outburst of affection, gently pushing him away. "Okay, now let's go eat dinner first before we starve in this pool."

Anton nods, and with lightning speed, he's out of the pool and helping you out too. He grabs the tank top he had tossed aside earlier and drapes it around you as a towel. Then with one easy lift, he picks you up in bridal style.

"Thank you so much," he sighs, pressing another kiss to your cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." you giggle.

With that, Anton carries the both of you inside, ignoring the surprised shouts coming from your friends as he rushes you into his room, both of you laughing and squealing.

You grunt when he drops you onto the bed, still laughing.

Anton beams, loving the sound of your laughter and swearing to himself to never make you unhappy again.

"Alright, I'll go shower and then you can shower, and we'll go eat dinner." you chirp, getting up.

A mischievous light sparks in Anton's eyes. "Why not we shower together? We can save time and water that way, you know." he suggests, smirking.

You scoff at the boy, chuckling. "Since when were you so concerned about the environment?" you teased, knowing what his true intentions were.

"You just stay out here and wait, I'll be done real quick." you scolded lightly.

Anton smiles, nodding readily.

He'll always wait for you.

© anton-luvr, 2023.

#riize #riize anton #riize fics #riize fluff #riize icons #riize angst #kpop fics #kpop fluff #riize eunseok #riize seunghan #riize sohee #riize sungchan #riize shotaro #riize wonbin

[luffyvace]

hiii can i request hairo x male reader romantic texts?

sure love!! The romantics texts are pretty fun to do since it’s all in quotation marks 😋

I’m happy to be writing more hcs for him tbh bc i have more ideas for him

🔥🙏

。。。。。。<3 。。。。。

“Do you wanna come play tennis with me?”

”are you gonna watch me play tennis after school?”

”are you gonna be able to make it to the tennis tournament?? I hope so! It would fuel me to see your support from the crowd!! 🔥🔥”

”would you like to come over for dinner? My mom wants to know”

“When your done with your homework do you wanna go for a jog? Our goal could be the dog park so we’ll feel motivated to go pet the dogs!!”

”im going to go to the gym this weekend 💪💪 can I have your support?”

”im gonna move up in weights again :) it will not be easy but the gain will be worth it! 💪☝️“

”Nendo is a formidable opponent! I challenged him to a tennis game, are you gonna be there?”

”how big do you think the gap is between me and nendo when it comes to physical prowess?”

”I’ve noticed your muscles have gotten bigger lately! Keep up the good work m/n! It’s paying off!! 🔥💪🙏”

”do you wanna go out with me, Saiki, kaido and nendo? They invited me out for noodles so I was wondering if you wanted to join!”

convos :P

”how about we start off tomorrow with some laps around the school? We could both get up at 5 and meet up”

”uhh I’ll meet you there at 7”

”your only gonna do an hour? Come in m/n I know you can go longer than that!”

”ive seen you run longer when getting chased by a vicious dog! 😁🙏”

”uhh yeah thanks for that reminder….I’ll be there by 6:30”

”that’s the spirit! Push your limit always!! 🔥🔥”

convo 2

”hey hairo I found an online tennis game do you wanna play?”

”even when playing video games your still playing a sport! How admirable! Of course I would! What’s the name of it?”

”I knew you’d like it :) it’s called tennis clash!”

”downloaded now! What’s your user?”

convo 3

“My aunt is moving and she needs help, do you think you could help carry the heavy stuff?”

”of course! I would more than love to both help you and work out at the same time!! 💪💓”

”thanks hairo!”

”you can always count on me m/n!”

convo 4

“My mom would like you to come over for dinner once again :)”

”sure her cooking is great!”

”she also wants you to invite your parents”

”alright I will! We’ll all come over!”

”okay! Can you come over now so we can play that tennis game you found?”

”ya! I’ll be there in 10!”

”sounds good!”

convo 5

“awww man this homework is so hard! Do you get it??”

”come over I’ve got an idea!”

“What is it?”

”for every question you get wrong we’ll both do an exercise for 5 minutes! That’ll motivate you to get the questions right, relieve stress and build muscle simultaneously!”

”that’s a well thought out plan but with all the questions I’m getting wrong idk If I can do it 😭”

”we’ll be excerising all night and I know you can’t stay up past 8”

”besides you ranked fourth in exams! Can’t you help me? 😭”

”yes you can! you can do it m/n!”

”I’ll stay up as long as it takes! 😼”

”of course I’ll help! But we still have to do an excerise for every one you get wrong!”

”look on the bright side we’ll be doing it together!”

”alright fine 😭😭”

convo 6

”hey hairo I know something that’ll motivate you to stay up past 8!”

”what is it? 😄”

”let’s have a competition! Whoever falls asleep first has to carry the other on they’re back on the way to school then do 5 laps around campus when we get there! 😼”

”wow!! That’s a great idea! Even if I loose it’s still a win because I’ll be getting exercise!”

”yeah! Ya see? Come over for a sleepover tomorrow and we’ll do the challenge”

”you bet!”

convo 7

”my mom wants me to go grocery shopping for her will you come?”

”yeah sure :) which store?”

“Street goods, but not the one near the gas station”

”let’s jog all the way to the far out one!”

”come on I know we can do it!”

”promise me we get to walk back and if I get tired your carrying me and the groceries“

”challenge accepted!! 💪☝️“

Convo 8

”how much weight can your father lift?”

”huh why?”

”because today my new goal is to lift more than a grown man can!! 😆”

”😭”

”okay well I’ll ask em”

”right!”

”now that I think about it how come you didn’t ask your dad?”

”oh I would have but he’s at work so I didn’t want to disturb his grind!”

”he works on Saturdays?”

”it’s voluntary but still admirable!”

”ohhh”

”well he says he can lift around 280 last he checked”

”wow!! A worthy goal! Thank you! And tell your father thank you as well!”

”of course hairo :)”

”tell him I said we should work out together some time! 280 isn’t a weight just any man can lift overnight!”

”you should join us as well!”

”I’ll let em know :) but idk if I’ll be able to lift 280 😅😂😂”

“Of course you can m/n! With enough dedication any weight is able to be lifted! Whether that’s by 100,000 people helping or one man who is very strong!”

”thanks, I’ll do my best‼️“

”Always! And glad to hear it!”

“Is he available Sunday?”

”he says yes”

”great! Hope to see you there too!”

”depends! 😋”

convo 9

”I’m going to make a low carb sandwich for lunch tomorrow at school, would you like me to make you one?”

”sure! I appreciate it!”

”no problem!!”

Convo 10

”I’ve found a 100% healthy restaurant where they’re target audience are those who want to eat healthy and build muscle! Isn’t this great!?”

”if your free can we meet at *distant location* tomorrow??”

”wow that’s a very diverse restaurant! I’d love to go!”

”the walking distance tho..😭”

”yep! It’s a great way to build muscle on the way there! 💪”

”cardio is great when paired with a healthy diet!”

”it’ll be like working for you food”

”well I’m sure it’ll be worth it by the time we’re there so why not! :)”

”happy to hear your on board! It’s a date then :)”

convo 11

“I'm going to hit the gym! Will you be there to hold down my feet on sit-ups?”

”as always 🙏”

”thank you!”

”don’t mention it 👍”

convo 12

”your mother’s cooking from last night was very fufilling and nutritional! May I ask if you could send me her recipe?”

”sure I’ll ask her!”

”can’t wait!”

” *recipe* ”

”thank you! And tell her I said thank her as well! The meal was delicious and bursting with flavor and I felt extra energized to do my before bed push-ups!”

”and for the recipe!”

”LOL np, and she said the same”

dude idk how or why but my ideas for hairo pop out like poop, like it’s just infinite!

I have another 2 requests to do, then some stuff I wanna write for fun then I’m back to my list of characters I wanna write for…man I haven’t worked on that thing in a while

#anime #anime and manga #luffyvace #anime headcanons #fluff headcanons #fluff #hairo kineshi #saiki kusuo #saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k #saiki k headcanons #saiki x reader #saiki k x reader #tdlosk #saiki k fandom #saiki headcanons #saiki #relationship headcanons #fluff prompts #fluffy #x male reader #male reader #masc aligned

[danceyreagan]

Sometimes I wanna read smut without degradation, daddy kink, and Dom!Sub dynamics. Its ok to write two equals having sex. Its not something I find sexy but these tropes are everywhere!

Lets have a convo, tell me what types of tropes you are tired of reading. Smut, fluff, angst? What do you like? What do you dislike?

I’ll go first

Likes:

A snarky reader. The snarkier the better.

@btsqualityy has some of my favorite work. Her readers have so much personality. None of them are the same.

@black-mcu-imagines her Peter Parker x black OC series! Is fire.

@blinder-secrets has great Peaky Blinders work.

@sceawere (I dont think they write anymore. But their masterlist is still up) for some more Peaky Blinders goodness.

Established relationship fics. (I love slowburn to but I dont have the patience always)

Social Media AU’s

@kimnjss she’s got tons. Black writer too. Currently on hiatus.

Action and fighting

@bubblyani’s batman series. Some of the most perfect writing I have ever come across. (POC writers stand up!)

@laketaj24 I love her work too for Vikings and Peaky Blinder.

@the-last-targaryens and @ashleyfanfic collaborated on the best Game of Thrones AU called Legends of Winters Peak.

I’ll read some flithy wild ass smut if the dirty talk is right. Praise Kink is a plus though.

Werewolf Au’s

@btsqualityy Assuage Series (she’s tagged twice cause she’s my ultimate fave and my friend)

@gamerwoo Seventeen series Imprinted. Yo, I dont even know what to say, they have a Stray Kids Series too if you arent into Seventeen.

Dislikes:

Polyamory it just isnt my jam.

Humiliation/degradation kink. Again, Im not like, judging people. Ive read it enough to know why its appealing it just is everywhere now I’m over it.

Daddy kink. (I was molested by my father. Daddy kink horrifies me. I cannot, I just cannot) its in like everything. Its hard to get away from it.

Angel/Demon xHuman!reader.

Soft readers. Again, I read it. But then I get mad at the reader for not defending themselves. (I said it before Im confrontational)

Bad boy/Good Girl dynamics. Lets flip that. Why not have a female Burnout fall in love with a nerd or shy male character?

I dont hate all Dom/sub dynamics. I guess again this comes from it being everywhere that its a little worn out. But its a hard no for bondage/sex slaves type of thing.

Share your likes/Dislikes with me. Boost up your faves and share them with the people.

#my peaky boo #peaky blinders #tomorrow by together #tommorow x together #bts reactions #bangtan sonyeondan #BTS fem reader #stray kids #Black run blog #kpop fandom #vikings #black reader #black!reader #kpop fanfic #game of thrones #my faves #black creators

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

#bpd #bpd awareness #personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #mental illness #mental health #mental instability

[lunicho]

Saw this on another blog and wanted to send it to you too ☺️

Pick any 5 moots and describe them using 3 words! <3

ooh this is so cute, i love when ppl ask me to talk abt my moots cuz i love bragging about them!! the hard part is picking 5 moots to do this with hmm

@adoresol - passionate, honest, and devoted. i have actually been good friends with her for a good like four years now i think omg so there's many words to describe her but i think these are the best ones for now. she feels deeply and is very genuine in her emotions which is something i admire about her. she's also extremely honest, i love this about her because if i ask her something she'll be straight up with me. she's also very devoted bc like why is she still my friend LMAOOO she's so loyal and just like!?!?!?!?!?!??! my pookie wookie bear fr, i've told her so much cheesy corny shit abt how i feel abt our friendship so i'll spare y'all

@kissohee - its so hard to describe her with just three words! but i would say chaotic, lovable, and genuine. i never feel stress when talking to her and we've grown comfortable with one another quite quickly. i think we just have had this connection from the beginning and she just made me so so comfortable. she's also so loveable like im gonna hold her hand fr she's so cute. and she's so genuine, i always feel that she means everything that she says and it makes me even more comfy with her. she's also just like me we're both so random and we both talk a lot so its the perfect pace for me. the convos are always so fast like idk if ppl would be able to keep up with us and how much we switch topics LMAO but yeah! i hope that we just get closer and closer in the future and that she's always happy <3 (also open-minded would be a rlly good one for her but only her and i know why and that's the way its gonna stay LMAO)

@sminiac - saiii!!! i never include her in my moots posts so i wanted to this time :3! i'm gonna say kind, inviting, and adorable. she's literally so so kind, everytime i send smth or interact with her she's like "my dearest bunny!" AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY SO SO HAPPY!! she's always so sweet to me and like idk smth abt her is just so adorable. plus her blog rn is so adorable i love the layout. i do still get anxious to send too much stuff and things like that but ur so so welcoming and inviting that ik im always welcome but im scared to be annoying LMAOGDJ. i hope we can yap more and more abt 8turn tgt and just chat some more!!

@bubblegyu00 - energetic, humorous, and chatty,, our convos are extremely fast paced and go on for the entire day. i'm always laughing at smth or we're always losing it over smth someone did (usually a zb1 member or nicho tbh). she's energetic and keeps up with my pace and i do the same with hers. she also makes me laugh which is why i said she's humorous. we're always going on and on abt the same 3 things yet we never get tired of it like its gonna eat every single time PLS. BUT YEAH she's super fun, her nonnie to friend storyline is very very iconic and i love that for her. can't wait to keep screaming about kyungmin over and over <33

@xhdream - we've started to talk in the dms now and dinna's such a sweet girlie :(. i would describe her as easy-going, charming, and friendly. dinna's sooo so cute and always so sweet to me and she has been since the beginning. talking to her has been so fun so far cuz she's very approachable and she engages in the conversation so so much. our time difference is very big so we have to catch each other at a specific time but it's worth it everytime. there's just something about her that's so fun and so kind and that's why i said she's charming. her and her blog just have this good and sweet energy that i really really enjoy <3

#⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ bunny chats <3 #ILY GUYS SOOOOOOO MUCH

[nishipostitz]

haikyuu men as brothers best friend

scenario: them finding out they had feelings for you

gn!reader x multicharacter

prev | part 3 | tba

tw! suggestive in first part, not too much, older reader in third part. fluff world

goes by the saying of “the one who breaks my dick is the right one 🙏” and well. it happened literally. youve grown close to him because your parents take him in like their own. but he spends more time with you than your brother. at first, you were like a little sister to him. but now, the feelings have actually started developing. so you guys were on the couch together. your feet on his lap as youre scrolling your phone. your eyes started getting droopy, so you took a nap. a few minutes in, you accidentally put your heel against his balls, and he started screaming and groaning. oh poor guy 🙏. so you woke up. and realized what you did. and for some weird reason, this made him like you more. bc whatever situation he was in, you still cared for him. but OBVI you had to care for him then, you literally were the reason he’s screaming? but hey, love makes you dumb ig.

kuroo. hands down. tsuki(in it for the pain), tanaka(yall cant tell me he isnt like that), noya(literally is going to end up in a position like this 😭 ), ukai…., LMAO NOT ME PUTTING LITERALLY THE WHOLE KARASUNO TEAM—, oikawa, terushima

he was sick. he caught a cold for not wearing a sweater right after sweating. so during your free time, you would come over and take care of him. and just like that, he was revived not too long after. and as he was still not thinking straight, he really asked “so how do you feel about marriage?”

oikawa, hinata, noya, futakuchi, tendou, bokuto, suga, goshiki

coming back with the older reader trope! so he was a clumsy little guy. and you’d be the one tending to his wounds bc your brother knew absolutely nothing! and as he grew up, he always appreciated your kindness. you would also treat your brother. so when he joined the volleyball club, he was surprised to see you. you had already signed up as the manager. but sadly for him, he only gets to see you as a manager for a few years 😔 but, he still finds time to spend with you during practice. like sitting out from getting tired and helping with labor work.

kenma, akaashi, aone, ushi(man its the VIBE), ukai, kunimi, yams, suna(faking it)

man idk what to say. he literally fell in love with you at first sight. youre a year older. and he never really paid attention to ppl in school. so he didnt recognize you 💀 he saw you on his morning jog, jogging the same direction as him. so he was intrigued. it was impressive to see many ppl jogging this early in the morning. yet, you were also a beauty to the eyes as well(thats so cringy). and to his luck, you struck a convo while jogging. “so what brings you jogging this early?” “i could say the same” “well, im doing this to prepare for school. i must outrun creepos on campus” you said while chuckling nervously. “and i suppose you arent one as well?” he blushed embarrassingly. “nope. and i mean it” you laughed. “well, i was a bit skeptical” you say teasingly. now, youre really second guessing his response. bc he’s literally going the same direction as you to get home??? so you hurriedly ran to your house before he asked “is that your boyfriend’s house?” you gave him a look. “that idiot isnt my boyfriend, he’s my brother” and he was embarrassed AGAIN. “well, that brother of yours is someone id call a great friend. just dont tell him that” you smiled and waved bye. “i need to start kissing up to him later on”. he thought

ushi…, iwai, kageyama, kindaichi, daichi, tsukki, yaku, asahi, issei, osamu, aran

nah. man fell for you the moment your brother introduced you. he was mesmerized by you and didnt pay attention to anything else until “and theyre off limits you germ” he was offended. so, he would live on trying to impress you. his best friend wasnt impressed, but you were. it was funny seeing his efforts to win you over.

tanaka, oikawa, lev, shirabu, atsumu

your brother would give you to him as an offering 💀

kita.

this was worse than the last. i can’t live like this anymore.

#kuroo fanfic #tanaka fluff #ukai drabble #oikawa fic #nishinoya x you #tsukishima x y/n #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! #haikyuu comedy #terushima headcanons #ushijima fic #tendou fluff #iwaizumi fanfic #shirabu fluff #lev fluff #kenma fanfic #akaashi fic #aone hcs #kageyama headcanons #hinata fluff #suna scenarios #atsumu fic #osamu fanfiction #aran fluff #daichi imagine #sugawara fluff #asahi fluff #mattsukawa x reader #kita fluff

[spotsupstuff]

rambling bout the mandarin dub of s3 special (part 2)

before i do skedaddle onto more mandarin, i do actually wanna say- grollow has said a few times that they find Porty's sudden appearance very random which i do kinda agree with, but it also makes me think a tad. my three thoughts as to why He poked his head out are so far this: 1. shameless fanservice, as Porty is prolly the most liked Xiaotian clone 2. the crew needed a hype man more than anything to go thru their plan, so Xiaotian summoned Porty cuz das basically all that the clone does, did while he stayed and literally self-destructed the moment danger showed up instead of helpin 3. as per ar-blackshaw's and sketching-shark's theory convo, Porty has been alikened to Six Ear in the theory that Six is a clone of Sun Wukong's. Six is on the team now! Why not bring in the new generation of version of him in as well, yanno! sounds like a fun lore poke for the fandom ✨

Him Mouth... BUT ALSO he doesn't say "C'MOOOON" in the mandarin one which means he just Makes Noises n those are always fuckin PEAK up in this bitch, shit's fuckin hilarious

someone else pointed this out on twitter before i did a "try to understand now" rewatch actually, but SWK here calls Xiaotian "my little hero" which like fuck my heart, i guess

there's this tiny little quick inhale n exhale from Six Ear here and it fuckin Kills me

still not over Six Ear pullin THAT shit outta him chest n still not over Sun Wukong just BLASTIN that shit outta his hand like that, everytime i hear the fuckin sound effect of him shootin the energy i just go "Jaysus Fuck" like its so strong compared to Six Ear's wimpy ass weak sauce bullshit of a shadow emo energy stream it takes me out without fail, that thing could be aliken to a damb Spaceship Take Off

two things: 1. instead of "monkey" she only calls Xiaotian "little hero", for those wondering 2. her mandarin "no. it's pain/suffering." actually sounds so Tired and Pained- the no especially makes me think that at this point she's as far as struggling to get any words out

THIS MANS SAYS SHIIIIIIFU SO FUCKIN SMUGLY N BITCHY IM GON BITE HIS MINERAL ASS GO OFF KING

so mandarin Six Ear is known especially to me to have a VERY steady voice. he's incredibly calm almost thru fuckin Everything, including this special. his voice never rises up- it's almost as if he was stuck in a suave manipulative threat mode constantly

Except This One Fucking Time.

THIS interaction is what BREAKS his calm demeanor after ALL the seasons- he did NOT go squeaky in his debut episode (not countin the trainin sesh cuz that was more like choked up/running out of breath), he did NOT go squeaky upon recounting the events that build him up into what he is, he did NOT go squeaky over bein abducted by the not-mayor, basically enslaved by the White Bone Spirit and later on INFUSED with the bone demon's powers, no.

what fuckin breaks him is bein compared to the one person he was presumably created from. (very tempted to say sib culture wins here)

i was quite a tad worried at first that the mandarin dub would end up not giving SWK the emotional weak moments because the voice acting when he breaks out of WBS's control n thanks Xiaotian did not have the same shaky hit to it like the og english version had

i was... pleasantly surprised at the same time as distraught over how small and... Weak and lost THE Great Sage sounds when he gives his apology to his kid, though

he is So genuinely sorry. it hurts him that he hurt his little hero

after Xiaotian makes his joke with the noodles, he sounds close to tears. first he panics over being misunderstood, he stumbles thru his words and then he curls up, voice stretched out in a way that makes me think of my own before i cry. and then his words fade out in a raspy sigh

and it is still Weak and Raspy and charmingly Imperfect in the last sentences we hear from Sun Wukong

#Spot says stuff #lmk #man... swk's apology scene actually made me tear up n smile at the same time- made my heart warm and made me feel comforted #i fuckin love this dub so much #its kinda funny too i was worryin lately bout me fuckin up six ears characterization in ft n now this came out n im like -dabs- Sick- #-Im Still In My Lane

[kyoryu]

do you have any headcanons about sashanne high school breakup? i know it sucks thinking about the canon end timeline but that little mention in your demi anne comic was intriguing 👀

HEH...you know how anne says we can deal with our emotional baggage later and then never do. sorry for more amphibia criticism but the way they handled sashannes second reunion was so shitty and undramatic it pisses me off how they sweep everything under the rug and just make characters be happy and makeup like nothing.

so... heh. they get together i like to think at 15/16 bc they like each other ofc and have been stuck in this cutesy flirty banter ever since commanding together the rebellion, but there is also all these bottled up emotions that they never brought up and it goes like this:

when they get together as teens they like the version of each other they believe they know. sasha likes anne but when anne is now the emotionally distant one she's unfulfilled. sure anne is affectionate and shes great to her but whenever sasha tries to get the convo onto a more serious ground of Hey i Really REALLY Like You anne tends to play stupid and desperately makes her way out of the situation. heh. turns out dying and getting ripped from you the chance of ever being a child again because you know whats after death and specifically after YOUR death, leaving u with a nihilistic view of life where u just smile through it no matter what, isnt good for a highschool relationship with a newly reformed, takes everything seriously and wants to talk about everything, sasha waybright! thank u amphibia writers anne is 1000% okay after all this and she leads a completely normal happy life doesnt she!

and on annes end. she's deep down, waiting for sasha to betray her at one point. its kind of like, anne is not as committed to the rs as sasha is bc anne's emotionally disconnected. she refuses to think of herself and her own feelings which drives her to never face the fact she has trust issues, which in return means she never truly processed everything sasha did in amphibia and how thats deeply changed their relationship forever

and that all blows up in their faces eventually. sasha snaps at anne for acting like theyre still just friends, anne snaps at sasha for acting like nothing ever happened, sasha snaps at anne, SAD, bc how dare u bring that up, not only was it YEARS ago but i apologized and u forgave me, i thought we were pass that, and anne snaps back at sasha surprised and upset with HERSELF because sasha is right, but also this situations making anne think of things she doesnt want to think and its too difficult. and they break up.

and yknow... bonus points for prom. one or two years after breakup. they decide to go together because somehow it feels weird to go with anyone else. by that point theyre barely talking at all so its surprising when sasha approaches anne to ask her but annes like yknow what. wouldnt have it any other way.

so they go to prom together and theyre cutesy and have Moments and dance together and have almost kiss moment and YOU KNOW WHAT. THEY FIGHT AGAIN. for the DAMN SAME STUFF its like a speedrun of that dating period they have but in 1 night and its the prom and god i love these vibes of shitty prom. it also adds, popular hc of marcy wanting to go to prom with sasha and anne so bad but shes away so she cant fulfill this dream. i see ur "marcy travels to la for prom and sashannarcy all go together" and i bring you "sashanne go together and fight, marcy is away and alone, no one gets what they fucking want" why? bc it is more interesting to think about and im tired of making these characters act like nothing fucking happened

amphibia was not just an adventure that is over with. shit happened and it affects them in the long run. anyways. what was the question

#new ask tag

[sassysaturnian]

omg i literally wrote 34 pages about this boy in 3 nights about the 7 encounters we’ve had since we’ve met… i definitely underestimated 8H synastry 😭 mind you, we only met last week like WOAH and on the first night i stayed up writing until 3am about him and the next day he tells me that he was so tired because he didnt go to sleep until 3am on that same night like honestly my mind is blown like i really shoulda listened to the astro gworls see how i dont listen🤣

this shit is intense like he made eye contact with me for over 5 seconds and dropped his voice and said “yeah” and it felt like he was stripping me with his eyes, I HAD TO LOOK AWAY IT WAS TEW MUCH… he tryna seduce me yall🙄

he’s the Sun, im the 8H; rn, im noticing that the feeling of a “tension” is growing quicker everyday and everyday we feel more comfortable sharing more about ourselves. and we haven’t even gotten a chance to really even stand next to each other let alone have any physical contact (bc we’re at work lol), but our presence definitely affects one another. like ive heard him be loud around his friend (the only person he’s always around), but when i walk in the room, he gets quiet and im like “😵‍💫”

also, his friend will not stop bringing him up in our one-on-one convos like he’ll be like “im gonna tell ____ that you said that” and it’s like … I was not talking about him at all until you brought him up so ik he HAS TO BE TALKING about me to his friend and his friend is being so obvious about it haahaa

#8H synastry #sun in 8H overlay #synastry

[luckyqueenreign]

Honestly, it took me a min to process this weeks episodes.

I have been reading people thoughts about the episodes, and i miss when the Islanders had their own personal opinion on MC.

I'm also getting tired of FB desperately trying to make LI so shady in this case, Lewie, for me.

Like pls make up your mind. Is Lewie a sweet guy, or is he a red flag. Is Jamal the chilled cool guy, or is he a snake. Like i get there has to be drama but why is everything surrounding MC at least season 2 and 4 we had Priya/Noah/Hope drama Lottie or mc/Rocco/Marisol drama and 4, the whole Lexi/Kobi/Valentina.

If this is an attempt to bring back the story line of MC and Bruno, they are failing horribly.

At this point, i just feel like Ozzy is obviously the main character, I like him, but i really wanted to pursue and look into the other routes before his slow burn.

I did like that we finally got to interact abit with amelia and she wasnt mixed in the drama, but Pls for the love of god just get over what you have to say because i promise you i dont care if its anything Zeph involved.

I liked Lewie getting jealous, and im not gonna lie. i liked the whole (Suresh/Arlo) moment looking at each other through the dates, i wish we could have flirted like we did then, but i was a Suresh Girlie. But definitely, last season gave me whiplash, and i was hoping for a cleaner route the first time around.

The whole recoupling was so rushed like i was literally just coupled up with Lewie the night before????

Also once again FB WHY ARE YOU MAKING HIM GO TO TALK TO CHLOE BEFORE US, then coming to me to sneak away with you at the day beds???

I'm calling it now, FB IF I SNEAK OUT AND I FIND THIS MAN WITH CHLOE IN A COMPROMISING POSITION IM RESTARTING MY ROUTE AND STICKING IT OUT WITH OZZY.

Like i love Lewie but i hate how they are doing his route filled with sneakiness.

Something bugging me is that we can't seem to talk to other ppl unless it's LI related. In Season 2 my MC was hooping around in my noah route. Right now, i feel like i barely spoke to Jamal or Roberto. it's either flirt with your first LI or Ozzy. Maybe they change it later. Sorry for venting!

no bestie dont be sorry because I feel the same right now!!

Every single season since s2 we've all been like bring back s2. give us what we had back then. and I know when s2 was out people complained that MC was constantly in someone else's drama and it was too centered around the villa and not us. but why didnt they tweak that just a tiny bit instead of giving us the most boring season of life with s3. s4 I think is the closest we ever got to s2 because we actually had routes that season but we also had one of the ugliest MCs of all time. no need to drudge up the past on s5...I was a suresh girlie too and man they put literally everyone in hell every single week. I have some ptsd after that season and still havent been able to replay it. I know we said we wanted recouplings back after having zero last season but we actually wanted some control over them!! we didnt want fb to just dictate them all over again. fb lowkey has ruined the LJR route for me. one I hate that those THREE guys all have the exact same route. and then if you aren't romancing the other two u literally never see them or talk to them. S2 I never romanced Ibrahim or Gary and was never coupled with them but I actually got to know them and even though we were just friends I knew so much about them. We know nothing about the other guys. Some people have sent me asks about head canons for Roberto and I havent been able to answer them bc I literally dont know that man. the only people I know are Ozzy and Lewie and even then the convos have been kind of surface.

ps you can vent anytime!! 💖

#litg double trouble #litg s6 #love island the game

[ocean-anchored]

Continued still.. December 3, 2023

Monday night I went to the Knights & flames game with Shane, he got really great tickets & I got to wear my jersey. It was a nice evening, he was good & I had asked him before not to ask me if Im ok at any point to trigger my emotional mess. Chrystal was gone the week so I was going into okotoks everyday to cover. Tuesday I originally didn't have plans but then Connor asked to hang out after work. Went for Taco tuesday which was nice then back to his place. I ended up staying the night, I felt like he wanted me to stay but idk, I still can't get a read on him. Part of me just thinks we're kind of doing the same thing to each other. I mean I know i'm not really going out of my way to ask him or make plans but his texting just sucks that I can't read if he wants to or not. Like its hard to keep any convo up over text & maybe he's just like that, I understand his work is a lot so keeping that up is tough, but then after we talked about how I might not be doing a roadtrip in January it died off & he didn't reply so whatever. I mean he has asked to hang out so I assume, & he does ask me to stay so maybe? But to what benefit? Idk. I do enjoy his company though. Wednesday I went for dinner with Ed & Mariana a founder of ours from Mexico city. Ill have to write another time on how I had planned to do a road trip down to the states or mexico for a few weeks but I dont think it's going to work out in January so I'll talk about it later for now. Went to Charbar which was really great, nice environment & cool, really great food. Thursday I finally had a night to myself, I was pretty tired from the week & had a lot this weekend so I chilled & gamed for a bit, took it easy. Friday had lunch with Ed, again I might talk about that later but I'm still really blessed to be working with him. Friday night was my ugly christmas sweater games night which I think turned out really well! 9 people including me, jeremiah brought his friend Dan, steven, amanda, shane who came 2 hours late... that was another whole other story of annoyance & triggering for me, Kamber, amber & naythan. It was fun, started around 6/6:30 & everyone stayed till like midnight so it was a lot of fun. Saturday I chilled for day, Marc forgot about our facetime which sucks but whatever. Was supposed to go to anneriekes to decorate the tree but didn't want to be around that environment again which I think I forgot to mention anyways that I went for dinner two weeks ago & it was just a lot to take in & I'm tired of talking about Steve. Anyway I went to amber & naythans instead with nova, nova did so good with Rue, it was honestly so sweet watching nova play again & be so gentle with her, made me so happy. We played catan & had a really great night. Amber also got me the exit game advent calendar that were all in a challenge together, like 4 of us couples minus mine of course & that's super fun so far, proud that I've solved the first two alone with no hints! Anyways, love those people so much. Today, sunday, went to 8:30am service which was so good again. I really love this church I think & want to stay in it. Its so lively & actually makes me want to lean into God when I leave & "sets my heart on fire" again feeling. Went to brunch with Daniel at Diner Deluxe which was great again, he's a good guy. Hes really smart & very... aware. Its a breath of fresh air & its really nice to be able to talk to someone emotionally on the same page especially about relationships & the struggles. Then mom surprised me at being at my house after so we could go for a walk & we had some good conversation. Then went to a movie with steven & amanda which was good so im finally relaxing now winding down for bed. This week will be busy again & the weekend but then it get's quiet which I think Im finally looking forward too.

#personal #dear future self #life update #dearfutureself #monthly update

[commander-spaceboy]

*arrives at your acc* I'm here to ask about any DinahWrench headcanons? :D

Omg heyyyyyy

I have SO many!!!!! But i think im gonna focus on how they met and a bit of them developing feelings 4 each other

(Btw you should definitely go ask @1010neveragain about their headcanons for them too, They write Wrench rly well while im more of a dinah person u know?)

- Dinah and Wrench meet for the first time when Dinah goes and races with electra.

-Wrenchs impression of her at first isn’t great per-say, shes sees Dinah as just another Pretty face that Electra’s racing with to keep up appearances.

-Dinah only really meets Wrench in passing before the race. They exchange hellos but she doesn’t really think anything of her from that other than that she’s a bit stoic.

-Dinah and Electra race and it gets called off by Control cause Rusty gets hurt (u know the drill at this point.) But Electra kinda spends the whole time flouting that he’s racing with Dinah.

-Dinah’s isn’t a big fan of the fact that she’s being used as leverage instead of an actual racing partner

-So shes like I’m fed up with all this racing!! I’m done!! By Electra!

-That’s what really piques Wrench’s interest. The fact that she wasn’t okay with just being seen as a pretty face that can be used as revenge.

-Electra’s like whatever!!!! Im gonna go find myself a new sick™️ racing partner that’s deff not gonna crash me (he will but its funny so its okay.)

-Dinahs just kinda left with the components like Well!!

-She doesn’t want to go talk to her girl besties atm cause she’s dealing with a lot and she doesn’t really want to be lectured or told to be a girl boss, she just wants someone to sit and talk to

-And that’s where Wrench comes in.

-Dinah’s left by herself and Wrench approaches her just to have a conversation as like acquaintances

-Wrench learns just by having a normal convo with Dinah that GB recently dumped her, and shes was just tired of being used.

-Dinah finds comfort in being able to just talk to Wrench without anything being expected of her.

-They talk a couple more times between than and the end of the races.

-Electra after the race and his crash deciding that hes going to leave for a while “We are leaving this yard for another, idk how long we are going to be gone for!!” He puts it 2 wrench

-Shes just kinda clicks her tongue at him like sure……..

-She's not going to leave with him. He can go off an be a whiny bitch baby and sulk with the other components for a while but shes got someone she really cares about here in this yard

-Ohhh n cause Electra and his girl squad r gone it forces wrench to rely on people other than the components… aka Electra’s boyfriend Caboose.

-Wrench has never been the biggest fan of him but hes the only one here that she knows and can talk to other than Dinah.

-Bonus points CB is Dinahs bff 5eva

-Wrench is the first one to develop feelings. They spend a lot of time together since Electra and the components aren’t around, and the way that Dinah treats her, the way she talks, the little habits she has that Wrench notices, all of it makes Wrench fall head over heels 4 her.

-Dinah’s pretty and smart and she overthinks things a lot and just needs someone to keep her from going over the edge, and Wrench is that someone.

-Dinah’s still somewhat getting over her last relationship, and will need a bit more time before she would even think about dating. But Wrench is very important to her.

-When she’s ready to finally move on and kinda live her life, she realizes just how important Wrench is to her.

-They don’t get together for a while though cause mutual pining is really funny.

-When they do confess to each other Dinah is a mess, Wrench means a whole lot too her and to find out that she feels like same way about her and has for MONTHS???? Girl.

-They get to have their first kiss after so many pent up emotions, n its soft.

-uhg. You know???? Im so

About them.

#stex #starlight express #dinah stex #wrench stex #dinah the dining car #wrench the repair truck #dinahwrench #sb’s hcs #stex hcs #stex posting

[driderwife]

Recently I kind of unofficially stopped talking to my therapist of like , 5 years and I’m feeling like weird and bad about it rn. The thing that happened was like, idk I just got so frustrated and didn’t wanna talk anymore. She’s a really nice person and We have a rapport bc of how long I’ve been seeing her, but at the same time there have been several things that have just been compounding over time and I couldn’t rlly take it anymore:

Last year when I brought up to her that I think I’m autistic, her response was that I couldn’t be because I have an excessive amount of a empathy. And I did explain to her that lack of empathy is not an autistic trait & that it’s a classic ableist mischaracterization, which she SEEMED to be open-minded about at the time. But consistently whenever my BF comes up in convo (he’s diagnosed with autism) she makes it a point to remind me that because he’s autistic he lacks empathy. That’s one thing that really REALLY started to grate on my nerves. It wasn’t relevant and it was factually incorrect. And I guess it hammered in that I will never be able to discuss with her the possibility of me experiencing undiagnosed autism.

Another problem is that still to this day, despite NEVER knowing me when I identified as a girl, she continues to accidentally misgender me or call me “ma’am” instead of sir. She corrects herself but like, idk why I let it go for so long? I’m VERY bad about correcting people IRL so I just let it go time and time again. I was never going by she/her pronouns when we started talking. Clearly she’s just another cis person who hears my “girl” voice and decides internally that I’m a girl.

And on a less serious note I just didn’t feel like I’ve improved at all in the 5+ years we’ve been seeing each other. It wasn’t a waste of time; I’ve learned valuable coping skills and made some important life decisions with her help. But like, I have a litany of mental illnesses that feel untreated at their core and I never feel comfortable enough to open up about them to her on a deeper level. I don’t feel like we’re dealing with anything except little IRL problems I encounter, and my general anxiety. I feel like I’m far worse off mentally than I was years ago and it makes me really unbelievably sad.

I guess all this is to say that I know I NEED a new therapist but Im terrified of the process I have to go through to get one, and get to know them. And I feel like I lost a friend in my old therapist and I’m having trouble not seeing myself as a failure for that.

The only thing I KNOW is what I need, but I have no idea where to find it: I need remote therapy available because I travel across the country several times a year and it’s just a much easier format for me because when I deal with people in person I get way too focused on masking my awkwardness and social anxiety. I also need a queer / LGBTQIA therapist because I’m genuinely tired of babystepping around cis ppls surface-level understanding of my trans experience. Having an ally as a therapist is truly not enough, I don’t want to have to explain the intricate details of what it’s like to be queer.

Sorry for rambling, I don’t wanna put too much of my private life online but it’s something I’ve been wrestling with for a couple months and I needed to write down what I was feeling. If you have any advice, a similar experience, etc, it’s very much appreciated.

#diary shit #tw therapy talk #personal