Tumgik
#im stressed nd tired
silenthillbunni · 2 months
Text
🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
12 notes · View notes
tianshiisdead · 5 months
Text
Forget school actually please send hate to distract me from no money I'm so hungry o(-( dunno how much longer I can go with the 1 food item per day money saving scheme to attempt to afford rent
11 notes · View notes
girlwithfish · 5 months
Text
if i dont look cute tomorrow i will kill myself
5 notes · View notes
vampyrluver · 6 months
Text
I am having, a day
6 notes · View notes
giverofempathy · 1 year
Text
not even 10am and im ready to end it all 😭
2 notes · View notes
pursuingsunshine · 1 year
Text
.
0 notes
afternines · 1 year
Text
I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH
#when i dropped out of school and started working somehow everything started being easier#my social anxiety got soooo much better . my depression got so much better and i wasnt stressed at any giving time and i thought#that maybe all my mental health problems were just a direct consequence of me being undiagnosed nd in an environment that expected too much#from me without offering accommodations for me to reach those goal#like work is still tiring and overstimulating at times but theres no deadlines!!! i dont have to bend n break my back to get certain tasks#done!!!!! like i have a package of tasks i just loop through and i can plan in my own days and weeks and decide what i will be doing when#and how and theres no wrong or right system of doing things as long as the result is just what my boss wishes for and im AUGDHDGFH im so#lucky to be here#To get back to the point im trying to make tho.#as i left an environment that just wasnt good for me and entered another environment that somehow did wonders to my mental health i rlly#thought i would find peace from now on. Like id still get upset and sad or whatever like non mentally ill people do too#but it wouldnt be to an extent anymore where i wanna hurt myself or disappear forever#and for a bit more than a year everything was good!!!!! started to think i made up all my mental problems tbh#but lately things have been so tuff . i havent been this depressed in years#and like i can still physically do things . i can still go to work and clean my room and take showers and whatnot#but im so exhausted. and i keep crying all the time and i feel like everyone hates me for being so . depressed and i cannot physically do#the one thing i love doing (drawing) like nothing i try comes out good enough which just makes me cry again lol#and i dont . i dont understand it#bc i removed all (most?) of the factors that were making me this mentally nauseous and i was supposed to feel better . i was supposed to fee#good now. but i feel like im back at uni sitting on my bed crying over my notebooks trying to cram all the paragraphs into my head not#understanding why i cant remember anything for my classes . why its easy for everyone but me#everything always seems easy for everyone but me#i really dont understand#is this really a part of me . will i really always be this miserable and insecure? will i always hate myself and not feel enough?#im still the same person i was before i just wear different clothes#my body grows but i just dont grow up
1 note · View note
uwooyoungs · 1 year
Text
is it a migraine? is it stress? is it a cold? or am i just fuckin depressed 🤔
0 notes
bluemoongoth · 1 year
Text
babygirl i have anxiety issues you would never have thought of
1 note · View note
silenthillbunni · 2 months
Text
🤧🐀🌧️🌊
#need to clear my head;#im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn#trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come#nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired#i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out.#like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u#also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my#eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm#bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna#be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk#idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not#sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow#nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just#dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to ://#i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool.#then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway..#im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀#im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks.#but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol#im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired#i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do#anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can
10 notes · View notes
qtboni · 10 months
Note
hai bonni <33 this is my first reqs 4u and im sry in advance if it's kinda of cringe 😭 (i came here from yr simon fic btw nd i luv ur writinggg) wht do u think abt simon being tired as hell coming back home from his mission and literally melts into reader's arms?
HELLO DEAR ANON ! thanks for requesting and no, it's not cringe dw i LOVE it. also ty for loving my writing that literally made my day sm >< enjoy this!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
PAIRING: Simon 'Ghost' Riley X Reader
OVERVIEW: Simon melting into your arms after a rough day at work <//3
C/W: Entirely fluff + kisses
Tumblr media
Simon had a long day at work and was feeling tired and stressed. He started his car and drove home, feeling the tension in his shoulders and back. As he pulled into his driveway, he saw you standing on the porch, waiting for him.
You smiled and walked towards him, your arms outstretched. Simon stumbled out of his car and into your arms, letting out a deep sigh of relief. He felt the tension in his body melt away as you held him close, your warmth and comfort surrounding him.
"Welcome home, Simon," you whispered, resting your head on his chest.
"Thanks." Simon replied, wrapping his arms around you and taking a deep breath.
The warmth of your body against his, your breathing against his ear, all of it was like a balm for his soul. He let go of the tension in his muscles and let himself melt into you. Your warmth and love surrounded him, making him feel safe and protected.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling you hug him tightly.
"I missed you," he breathed, his voice barely audible. "Missed you so much."
"I missed you too, Si'," you replied, your voice full of love.
For a moment, nothing else mattered but your embrace and the love that you shared. The weight of the world seemed to fade away, replaced by a sense of peace and contentment. And in that moment, he knew that everything was going to be alright.
"Hey," you said, leading him towards the house. "Let's go inside, okay?"
You helped him inside, guiding him to the couch, where you could hear him release another deep sigh.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" you asked, sitting beside him. "Food? Um, what about some tea? I think that will help you loosen u-"
Simon reached for your hand and gently squeezed it. "Just you being here is enough, love." he replied.
"I'm always here for you, Simon," you said, giving his hand a squeeze back.
You leaned into his embrace, pressing a soft kiss against his stubble-roughened cheek. The gesture was gentle, yet full of meaning. Simon felt a warmth spreading from his cheek to the rest of his body, your love surrounding him like a blanket.
He closed his eyes and savored the moment, letting himself be fully present in your embrace. He could hear your heartbeat against his chest, and the sensation was soothing and calming.
You reached out and pulled his balaclava up, revealing his mouth. A quick peck and his face lit up with a smile, his eyes sparkling with joy.
You watched as he became more and more beaming, his mouth turning into a grin as you removed the balaclava. "There he is," you said softly, your voice filled with affection. You giggled, teasing him as you added, "My little baby soldier."
Simon's eyes were fixed on you, filled with a sense of pure adoration and love. He was grateful to have someone who accepted him for who he was, especially coming home from a long and difficult mission.
"Baby soldier?" He asked.
"Yeah, well, aren't you one, my love?"
"I am so not a baby soldier."
"Oh, damn you're right." You replied with faux surprise. You leaned into him, cupping his cheeks and squeezing them together.
Then you added, whispering as you do so, "You're my little baby lieutenant, aren't you, Si'?"
You feel Simon inhale and see him averting his gaze. You giggled at him and kissed both of his cheeks.
Simon cannot bring himself to retort any longer as he completely melts into your kisses and embrace. If you said he's a little baby lieutenant, then for god's sake, he is.
It was a moment of pure serenity, of pure love. And Simon knew that he would always cherish it, a beacon of solace in the midst of the chaos of the world.
And then, as if driven by an instinctive need to express the depth of his emotions, he pulled you closer, holding you in his arms, his touch firm and passionate.
"I love you," he murmured, his voice low and hoarse. But there was no question about the sincerity of his words, the longing in his eyes as he looked at you. You could feel his heart pounding against your chest, could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin.
"I love you too," you replied, your own voice just as genuine. And with those words, Simon knew that everything was going to be alright.
Tumblr media
5K notes · View notes
ai404 · 2 years
Text
everything in my room/wardrobe is like one of 2 colors and were it not for the fact that i dont actually use any social media except this i would worry ppl think im tryin to aestheticize my life.
1 note · View note
cherry-shipping · 2 years
Text
i just feel like its been so long since i made any ACTUAL selfship stuff. like not just self insert refs and designs but actual interactions w my f/os…………. T___T i should do that before my family leaves on tuesday
0 notes
rafeysdoll · 20 days
Note
im the prev anon !! i recently had a stressful n overwhelming day, how do u think rafe would help u relax n feel better ?? (°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。
could be fluffy or spicy hehe also ur writing is sososo lovely i luv how u write ur dialogues !
oh :(( i’m so sorry i hope u feel better. and thank you so much for your support lovely!! makes me feel real happy. i hope u like this blurb <3 i would love to hear more of ur requests
Tumblr media
“it’s alright, just let it out.” rafe whispers in your ear, kissing your temple. “gonna be okay, ‘m right here baby.” he reassures, big hands wrapped around your waist. “just.. just can’t do it, i.. im stressed!” you cry, big globs of tears ruining your blush and mascara. “‘nd i’m tired, hate it so much.” you sniffle, watery snot wanting to drip down.
the pretty eyes he loved so much stare at him pitifully, seeking guidance. “i know baby, daddy knows. had such a hard day, didn’t you?” he sympathizes.
it was rare— but he really could be nice when he wanted to be.
you whimper, taking in a deep breath. “i don’t know what to do.” you mewl, bottom lip wobbling.
“and- and you don’t have to, alright? gonna take care of you, don’t gotta worry about anything. ‘m here for you.” he promises, locking both your lips together in a kiss.
and he does keep his promise ultimately, making sure your brain gets some ease from all the things that drain you— taking care of you the best way he knows how.
“feel better already don’t you baby?” he prompts through gritted teeth, your body practically melting underneath him. legs pryed open— each on either side of his waist, reaching all the spots he knows will relax you. once glossy eyes now rolling back as you moan and whine. “yes, so much better daddy.”
he makes sure that the only thing you remember about your stressful day is you creaming all over his cock.
371 notes · View notes
dykeasc · 2 years
Text
bbc dracula is so amusing bcs moffat and gatiss will take a book or story and write an adaptation of it like they're going to make the most original version of it, it HAS to be absolutely divergent from the canon, the most pretentious version of whatever franchise they choose, but they're so obviously influenced by coppola's dracula and every twist that was supposed to be groundbreaking felt predictable somehow.
#its so funny like i know they probably thought they were so sly and innovative but hell i grew up obsessed with coppola's dracula#- and while it wasn't canonical i; too; was blown away by the concept of everlasting love that transcends death and time#- SO IT WAS SO OBVIOUS WHERE THEY GOT THE WHOLE ROMANTIC SHIT INVOLVING DRACULA FROM#and they even copied the misogynist treatment to lucy from coppola too they really said yes yes include the misogyny it can't be left out!!#and the gay/bi coding for villains they CANT not make a villain gay or bi there HAS to be one in EVERYTHING THEY FUCKING MAKE#im in mark gatiss' walls tormenting him for being gay and homophobic LIKE WHATS WITH THAT TIRED TROPE BITCH?????#i won't even touch van helsing being turned into a woman to give her a romantic sublot with dracula bcs i have 13194583 thoughts about that#and so and so i could keep dragging their dracula adaptation through the mud bcs there's so much to bitch about??????#but even though ALL of this i didn't hate it like i thought i was going to hate it#i actually remember complaining about this adaptation when it was first announced. like 'oh moffat nd gatiss are going to ruin dracula now'#and it was whatever!#and nobody cared NDNCNNDNCNDNCMKDKFJ#and i didnt hate it. i absolutely dont recommend it though i really DONT it has moffat/gatiss plastered all over it#needed to write this out bcs in my endless stress these past two weeks i havent been able to sleep or concentrate in anything relevant#but SOMEHOW ended up rewatching this shit AGAIN for some reason and fluctuating between anger and amusement#and everyone is reading dracula now by some strange casualty and i no longer expect anyone to make a truly purist adaptation of dracula.#like nobody EVER will tbh and thats fine.
0 notes
madfantasy · 2 months
Text
Dear blogging
Wish you peace, always. Considering all, it been extra rough. My guardians were sick, and my fragile of a stability was about to break— but it okay now, and the pendulum of consciousness returned swaying in my head.
Somehow in the middle of everything, I was starting to feel okay and accept that this is the best it can get for this non verbal Mani. I honestly I stopped living as if there was tomorrow maybe the majority of 2023, zero drive or hopefulness, and lately started to accept that there's no denying that I'm not made to survive this life, and dropped all pretence that I'm able, set a 5 years counter. Because if mere looking at people's faces distress me so much that I blank out &/or go mute, since childhood, no amount of me forcing myself to watch videos/ pictures over and over can fix that. That's simply how I'm made and I know that now, and in a way it's bringing me peace.
Because I thought I'm bratting when I wore my headphones to cancel out noise that were literally going to drive me insane, or when I couldn't respond to messages knowing that I can articulate deeply in writing but ignoring all the endless times when I simply couldn't, and have forced myself to eat many things that set me days in nausea and abdominal pain while I only enjoy liquids more and get high off of fruits, I love them so much half my OCs are named after some.. and drew.. drew even before I spoke because it was my only outlit to express because how much I'm told I'm like a robot, I'm so expressionless and non reactive and disgustingly literal, even when they actively beat me black Nd blue to stop drawing, I couldn't.. where do you free those emotions when U can, i needed emotion displays and heartfelt trimmers, thrilling or killing, I needed to do them as if my life depended on it, and I haven't realised it back then, but my life was dependent on them, even when I had 'no talent ' , as I have always been told.
Tumblr media
(commissioned by precious Julia ♥️🖤)
And besides drawing my needs, I actually, physically, started to feel better when I didn't do what my body said it literally can't do, all my life:
-Walked away from my guardians arguments, my chest stabbing pains became less frequent.
Stopped "practicing" my voice &/or facial expressions, I talk for 2 minutes, immediately my whole face muscles hurt, voice is cracking and gone, I don't feel like my eyebrows hurt as much. I'm okay being the monotone no expresso train c:
-stopped eating what I "don't like" (I mean it's not like I have much choice, but stopped feeling guilty over refusing it cuz food be tight) Nd now I can actually drink more water, and my tummy aches are on lower levels now
-i stopped dealing with Discord, or group chats in general cuz I don't expect accommodation over things I can't deal with. Stopped stressing over doing engaging material that no body seems to care about, cuz I'm not a good judge of demand, or stressing over either I should be thanking everyone who spams me with likes or not, (while I appreciate it to the moon) 90% of the time they don't respond Nd Im forced to think like I've done something wrong. I'm now at more ease with posting — (literally I have to fight the urges to delete my socials daily) just with interacting with who addresses me (I lov U guys sm) and I've been more relaxed from it.
I returned to "speaking in riddles" cuz if I don't use the words my brain spews no matter how weird they R, a tire will pop somewhere on the other side of an AU- idk lo'
-i rock, hum and laugh OUT my maniacal laugh, hard and strong, continued loving and talking to my plushies as I used to do, the easiest thing I could do to feel calmer again. As everyone should do
.. I stopped saying the word sorry. It's a naughty Mani era.
Accepting these facts and many, even with having no will to live had me saner than I ever been, at least I hope so.
I just know that I have a few to be grateful of: that I'm still here somehow, even with my dwindling income, Nd my internet not worth costing 120$± I'm always grateful for the sudden one or two commissions that keeps me here and buys me coffee and pumpkins seeds..
I still struggle horrindously with sleep. But I'm grateful at least I'm at pure ease playing games. Games been my go to media for knowing basically all based on books they were made about, like Severus and Tintin, I still play their ps1 games! Tho I got stuck on this game & their sleep has given me so much ease lo
I'm at my happy place rn, heh.
Tumblr media
Bonus panel: ye they R hungry for that SHI- lo 🙈
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And an honorary appearance of my OC with Tintin hehe
Stay safe, don't feed the overconsumption machine, don't give up on your heartstrings's stringers, don't worry— there are people who think and feel like you always between the crowds, and I'm thankful that I share the same timeline with you♥️🖤
Sweet dreams 🌃 19.2.2024
30 notes · View notes