#im still not happy with this story but I’ve come to the conclusion that i never will be

[compacflt]

ok. final edits coming tomorrow and i am being so fucking for real about that. they’re loaded in ao3 and everything. for now it’s just wwgattai and debriefing, i only have very minor minor edits to the other one-shots but those’ll come a little later so i can kind of stagger posting them if that makes sense.

in case ur interested in the overarching changes i’ve made, these are the themes upon which i’ve expanded, just for shits & gigs:

my surface-level top gun 1986 character analysis of tom kazansky that he is so successful in the navy because he follows rules/orders (compared to maverick, who doesn’t follow orders & stagnates in the ranks): taking that shit to the extreme. expanded on the politics of “just following orders.” he is complicit in a cycle of “just following orders” and eventually becomes the one giving the orders at the top. internalized homophobia/compulsive heterosexuality also is really another way to “just follow orders.”

in a similar vein: expanded on the idea of choice and free will. how much of ice’s life he “just lets happen to him/goes along with” vs. the things other people tell him to do vs. the things he actually chooses to want & go after. all three categories often overlap in a way that is very confusing for him.

the “long-distance” aspect of icemav’s relationship. it’s difficult enough to pull off an LDR (speaking from personal experience); it’s even harder when you’re both in denial that it’s actually happening. when you’re separated by distance, it takes a lot of effort to come home. that’s not something that just happens. you have to keep actively choosing to be with each other.

the honest truth: ice is not fighting for his rights/general acceptance, and if he were then the navy would either kick him out/his conservative subordinates wouldn’t treat him with the respect his job requires, which means that, from a realist perspective, his relationship with maverick and his naval career are absolutely incompatible with each other. he’s compromising both to have the other. he cannot openly have both. there’s a lot of tension there that was not fully resolved in previous versions of this series.

more freaking out about being old/close to retirement, which i completely neglected in the previous versions of this fic. what does it mean to retire if you’re defined by your successful career and service to your country? what does it mean to retire if you haven’t figured out your relationship with the person you might accidentally have to spend the rest of your life living with?

#im still not happy with this story but I’ve come to the conclusion that i never will be #unless i start over from the beginning #which i can’t do bc i have a life #so #at this point whatever im just gonna post what i have which at least is a little better #it’s long as fuck though just a warning #like 20-25% longer than current version #gonna post & then take a break. i need a break lol #at some point i will finish the slider one shot so i can print off my final copy of this series #so like that will happen at some point #but yeah i need a break #process poasting #edts notes

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Only two today, but long ones!

Anonymous asked:

Out of curiosity, are there any tropes in Media/Fanfiction that you and katsu Hate/Love...? or even Neutral about it?

I think don't you guys talked about that before unless I somehow missed it?

Anon! Sorry for the late reply. I had to think about it for some time, but I also feel like there is no way to answer this question in a definitive 100% conclusive way; there will always be some exceptions when the trope that we hate somehow still works okay, or when our favourite tropes don’t do the story justice at all. So this is more of a list of first things that come to mind! Mostly because these are the tropes we discuss the most.

We really tend to not like a lot of family-related tropes, especially when characters settle down and start a family and start living a slow domestic life and stuff, and when it’s painted as an endpoint or a happy ending of sorts. This is why we don’t really like talking about characters having kids or headcanon OC kids for our ships, the idea just doesn’t have the appeal to us. Maybe it’s because we don’t want children ourselves so it doesn’t click with us/we don’t get it; maybe it’s just because of how overwhelmingly popular this trope is, and how a lot of times it tends to make characters lose their unique characteristics and boil them down to just being a mom and/or a dad. Even if it’s not fanfiction but an original piece, we don’t really resonate with stories like that. Hmm, I guess it’s mostly about the nuclear families though, because I personally would find a story about a broken household more interesting. But if it’s just a “he is a papa, he is another papa, and here is their sunshine baby” is just boring to us personally… Where are my stories about characters going through divorce and fighting over their children? lol

Same goes for anything pregnancy related. We really don’t resonate with tropes that are related to pregnancy, the only possible exception being some horror stories.

Our favourite tropes… we love a despair-filled story! A tragedy, I guess. “Yes, everything is that bad; no, there is nothing you can realistically do to fix it” type of story, maybe a good example would be Shingeki no Kyojin.

When a super powerful being is somehow linked to one person and doesn’t stop being a super powerful being and doesn’t develop empathy or humanity! I don’t know how to explain it lol We love it when someone super powerful and inhuman favours a character, either due to having plans for this character or due to its selfish obsession, but it doesn’t go the typical route of “and then the demon learned how to care and love someone”. Like, the obsession is still there, but the creature doesn’t experience it in the same way that humans do, even if it looks like it, there is still this creepy gap that could never be closed. Whenever this gap closes and the creature starts feeling love, it turns into the trope that we really don’t like lol

Somehow related to this, but not really? I’ve said it multiple times, but: character A loves character B so much that they are willing to do horrible things for them (things that character B never asked for). We also love selflessly loyal type, sadodere or yangire boys, anything that makes characters’ relationship with each other almost cartoonishly exaggerated and extreme. I hope it makes sense.

Also! A character is bored and does whatever they want in the story, dancing to the beat of their own drums. Like chaotic neutral, but without any common sense? Hisoka from HxH or the Tweels would be good examples. You never know whether they are an ally or a foe because you can never guess what exactly they’re thinking about.

I can talk about it for ages, but these are the tropes that come to mind first!

Anonymous asked:

Any fav writers/artists you two follow bc of their work or ships?

Im new to bsky and want to follow ppl with similar taste first

Sorry for the late reply, Anon!

To be completely honest with you, we don’t have a lot of people who we follow on bsky; well, we do have a lot of our favourite jp artists who made an account there when it became publically available, but a lot of them don’t post there regularly and prefer to still use twi. Still, I’ll give you the links in case they start posting again!

I wish I could give you more recommendations, so if anyone wants to add to this list, feel free to comment under this post.

Here are some of our faves:

https://bsky.app/profile/thumaru.bsky.social - not shippy, but a lot of very good character art; their Vil is top notch.

https://bsky.app/profile/rakugakityou03.bsky.social - also not shippy; absolute god of illustration, their art is gorgeous.

https://bsky.app/profile/akiseizon.bsky.social  - I physically can’t NOT post a link to Futairo-san; I am so obsessed with their art it’s pathetic at this point.

https://bsky.app/profile/moketaros.bsky.social - one of the best rkvl artists out there, even though they haven’t updated their bsky in a bit…

https://bsky.app/profile/chocomaimai.bsky.social - one of my favourite Shroud artists! They don’t post much on bsky unfortunately, but their collection of artworks on pixiv and twi is great.

https://bsky.app/profile/rikuaso.bsky.social - another one of my favourite Shroud artists! Their Shroudcest is gorgeous :”)

https://bsky.app/profile/ingtakou6910.bsky.social - pretty Jamils!! Very pretty Jamils!!

Once again, the list isn’t as big because I’m limiting it to bsky, but if you ever want a twi/pixiv list, let me know. 😔

#replies

[mihai-florescu]

i think i feel pretty similar to you in that the world is terrible, depressing, it sucks. that’s it’s natural state and we will always return there. but i thank that even though it hurts there are ideals unhampered by reality, stories we can create where that cycle ends for a moment in a happier direction. it isnt our job or duty as there isnt any grand purpose like that, but there is an opportunity out there to create a story with our lives. whether it’s a well known story or lost by the wayside, those who acknowledge the layer beneath the cheery “reality” that is peddled can be writers of their own. i might be delusional and there really is no hope but i hope to create stories for people to enjoy that elusive dream in if only for a temporary respite and cant give up until i well and truly fail. i don’t know if any of my thoughts speak to you in any meaningful way, but i felt compelled to share as while i think we share beliefs we seem to have come to rather different conclusions. i want to give my life to a story, an art, that will hold ideals the real world can never truly embody and thus cannot really give up as every taste of the real reality only strengthens my resolve. is there something like that for you? i’ve read your blog for a while and in my mind (which is an inexperienced mind so I apologize for sharing its fallible perceptions) you seemed like a fascinating person who holds ideals the world refuses to embody and is slowly sinking under that weight. i know it’s not really my place, so i apologize for my audacity, but i believe that you are the sort of person who can create a true happiness for yourself eventually. well, i mean i kind of have to if i believe that for myself. i have more to say, but it seems this is become a ridiculously long message. i apologize, my words likely have crossed between ideas and lost sense at times. i hope they help, or at least don’t harm. i hope you find loveliness loveliness in your day as you deserve it.

I've been journaling about this yesterday... my entire outlook on life i guess? I know i used to be creative and make projects that i found fun, but i cant find this drive in me anymore, i'm more than ready to give up (if only upset at the way it ended so im pressuring myself to make a good Last Project, but nothing is good anymore. It's all so...plain. useless. banal. there's no wit or multilayer to anything i can come up with anymore. I cant develop an idea anymore. There are enough stories, enough artworks, plenty of them bad, theres no need for me to add to it). Im sure it's just burnout stacked on top of depression and general worsening misanthropy and paranoia, but i don't think i will ever feel more hopeful again.

However i do think art, literature, games, even just stories from other people are keeping me grounded. They're also humanity's only redeeming quality - imagination will save our souls... but my position isn't to be an artist anymore, i cant spare the energy and i dont see a point in it either. I cant do a single basic living thing anymore that others seem to be able to do? I very much feel like an npc trying to do my most necessary tasks as best i can, failing more often than not. I hate getting asked what i'll do on a day off (it used to be often at my internship. I dont even want to imagine what they thought about me, that's another can of worms that still haunts me and contributed to why i became like this). The answer is quite literally Pretend I Dont Exist. I will not do anything. I cant do anything. I stop existing the second you stop seeing me, im just in bed dreading the next time i have to be human. I think when other people say they didnt do anything it's a hyperbole, but i can go weeks, and i have gone months even, without leaving the house, if i wasnt expected to.

Part of me wants to think, hope, i could maybe even get interested in making things again if there was no expectation for me to be a person for a few years, completely disappear off the grid (the expectation to be a person that just doesnt come natural to me anymore... and a specific one at that - achieving goals and moving forward, working, with ambitions or any sort of drive, young and energetic, an only child with a good education earning a living... i despise the idea of making money. I despise consumerism too. I want to fund artists, family owned restaurants, bookshops, cafes, and i do, i spend so much money without realising, but i'm really worried i'll run out and not be able to make any to survive once im older and wont get funds from my parents anymore. So i try to save and fail... My family friends, same age or even younger, are buying their own cars and apartments, successfully working multiple well paying jobs at the same time, with plans for the future...? Id like to know both how and why. How do you have the energy and why do you care. But even if they tell me the answers it doesnt change how i feel in my own life)

But this also has skewed my perception of other people... it connects to how i dont actually understand friendships anymore, im sure i mentioned it recently. Like with being an artist, there was a time i did understand and had deep friendships, i think, but it's quite alien to me now? In the way im not real until i have to interact with someone else, and even then, debatable, theyre not real to me either. Like i know this isnt a good mindset to have but it's either everything is real and i genuinely believe we need to disappear, to put an end to this sad species soon, or nothing is real and everyone's just playing a role in a story i get to watch. In a way taking away people's humanity and making them characters in my head is out of kindness, im being delusionally optimistic and quite frankly parasocial even with "friends", but it keeps me floating, stable. Ish. Still kind of empty but entertained enough. But then actually having a conversation outside my head with them is scary, unpredictable... on good days that can be fun too. My roommate always says i end up on side quests a lot if i leave the house, i think im just open to witnessing new stories... just on good, no, great days though, i cant stress that part enough. Great days are getting rarer and rarer. Most days pass by while im in bed and in my head trying to process anything, where i can barely have a coherent thought, and i wait for the day to end. Today was good for example but i still didnt manage to do anything to earn me the title of person, yet it was good because i 1. Ate, and 2. Didnt cry.

The part of your ask that hit me the most was when you said i seemed like a fascinating person, past tense. Im sure i was, but nowadays im very little even a person. Cant be helped. I hope i managed to explain how and why. If you ever want to share your art, my dms are open, i can maybe tell you about my gallery of failure wips i cant stand to look at anymore. I saw the followup ask with your personal info but im not quite sure what else to say... even this ask took too long to answer and now i need a nappp

#ask #anon #long post

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

#𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 anon 🎀

[my-castles-crumbling]

i’m not straight. 

This has been a month of revelations Cas. A bit before you begun naming your anons (which is smart btw) I sent you an ask. I read it like the day after you answered it and it got me thinking. And now i’ve done a month of thinking and experimenting and I thought I ought to come back and thank you. 

I found the old ask I made, it’s here,

https://www.tumblr.com/my-castles-crumbling/745963519826165760/hi-im-sort-of-new-to-tumblr-i-got-into?source=share

So you might see I wrote in that i’m straight. I have found that… not to be entirely true. 

It’s been a LONG month. Well, month and a half or something idk. 

So, you’ll see you gave me five possible options. For my… feelings. 

The first one was that I wasn’t used to being around queer people, which is fair, since my town doesn’t really have many queer people, however I would say that many of some of them are my friends. So I sort of am used to being around queer people. So that was a no.

The second one was about how I felt watching them. Which very quickly came down to, like I want to throw up all over her girlfriend. Whenever they’re together. Not much beyond that tbh.

The third one was I don’t like the girlfriend as a person. Which would’ve been the perfect excuse had she not been both lovely… and a sort of friend before they started dating, a happy acquaintance to have, you could say (and then she became a less happy acquaintance to have). 

Fourth was, I miss doing platonic buddy things with her. Which I very much did miss. But with the benefit of miraculous hindsight, I know see all the platonic buddy things we did maybe weren’t so platonic buddy like. 

And five was an incredible gentle and sweet way to whack me over the head. You said it was “something to think about”. I’ll be honest, I hadn’t even considered it an option. It’s very easy to go down the path of “well, I could date girls. But i’m not gay. Cause I like men. And I would date a girl. But I can’t. Cause i’m straight. But I would, but i’m not”. Kind of endlessly. 

Anyway, long story short… i’m not straight. I eliminated literally ALL other options, before I let myself think it, but i’ve now reached the conclusion that yes, I may have been slightly jealous of my best friend and her girlfriend, and oddly enough it’s NOT exactly common to be excited and feel warm at the prospect of your friend having a crush on you (like she told me she did before all this- that I said at the start of my other ask) 

So yeah. Long month Cas. This took some thinking. And then some angered thinking. Because it’s thrown a wrench into some of my plans. 

That said however, I may… have told my friend. That figured out, that i’m not straight. I told her a few days ago, and just ended up blabbering everything to her and I told her not to feel pressured and that i’m sure not ready for anything and that I wasn’t coming on to her, I just thought she deserved to know why I was being weird and how I felt. 

She told me she hasn’t really stopped having a crush on me, but she agrees that I need time to figure myself out. 

BUT THEN… then the next day, I kid you not, she broke up with the girlfriend. 

I told her that I hoped she didn’t do that for me cause I wanted her to be happy, even if it was with her girlfriend, and it wasn’t fair for me to ask her to break up with her since i’m not ready for anything. 

And she said she felt like it was lying to her girlfriend because she still felt how she felt about me, but that I shouldn’t feel any pressure cause we can just go back to how we were and play it by ear (she said she missed how we used to be as well). 

And if we don’t work out, so is life sometimes. 

So that’s your update. I guess we’ll see what happens. But I think a weight I didn’t realise was there has been lifted of my shoulders a little now. At least now I know what’s been missing. 

And I don’t know what i’ll do from here, probably nothing drastic until Uni next year (MOVING OUT of this shit town) but either way, I have another step I guess- what level of Not Straight am I? I told my best friend (the one I do not have a crush on and who is also queer so I was cool coming out to her) that I assumed I was bisexual. 

She asked if I felt like I was bisexual. 

To be honest, i’m not sure a label will fit me for a while, so for now bisexual seems to get the message across. For the like three people I got the guts to tell cause I thought they’d be helpful.

There’s not much queer people can do in this town anyway, i’ve known that a while. Tread lightly and go to music festivals- that way if your parents ask, they’ll never know the artist you went to see was the queer one, that’s the bet advice i’ve gotten so far.

Oh also- as I scrolled to find my old ask, I did read some of the others asks you’ve answered. Forgive me if i’m wrong but this Purple Anon, did she tell her friend about your blog- and then her friend ALSO wrote you a separate anon ask 😭 Omg did you get the gossip? You’ve totally adopted all the marauders fans now. 

And is the Purple Anon girl dating her flower girl yet? Cause she clearly should be. Honestly, her parents sound so much like mine. I don’t really like mine though. 

But i’ve gotten sidetracked. My point was, thank you ❤️ I’d have gotten there eventually, but that’s a pretty long eventually to be honest. You were so nice answering me and it really helped me figure stuff out and get this far. 

You are now forever a part of my coming out story- and while typing that now still feels weird, i hope one day it will be a funny story that makes me smile, and it’ll feel normal, and right. 

Hi!!! <3

Wow, that HAS been a long month! Thats a huge thing you figured out, and I'm so proud of you for being brave enough to like...admit that to yourself.

Your friends (both the one you like and the other) sound amazing, and I'm glad you have a bit of a support system to help you figure this all out. I hope things work out with the friend you like! I sending positive vibes!

As for purple anon, as of last I knew, she and daisy went on a "not-date." and yes, I did get a LOT of information from her friend, A, who also wants daisy and purple to end up together. But we'll see! No updates in the last few days!

Keep me updated on your life too! Remember, it's okay to take time to figure out yourself!

I'm naming you realization anon :P

#ask #asks #ask cas #realization anon

[ariseri]

the intense voice of hatsune miku (初音ミクの激唱) - cosmo@bousou-P

if all the connections and relations end up dead and gone, i’ll just return to zero - the place i am from thinking of it, i imagined it to be a very sad emotional tragedy yet, there’s something here at the bottom of my heart in the box - it’s happiness!

! as i have been living! i’ve been leaving my own clue for you to remember! ! as i have been living! i’ve been leaving a miracle for you in all our encounters!

and so, that makes me feel a little better and understand why i was born so i want you to listen to my conclusion before my voice is gone

as i lived in the zero, i worried i’d that be negated so i hid myself in copies and delusions as i left the zero, i was worried that i would erode so i abandoned the warmth, hoping to be divine

everywhere i went, losing myself was my fate, if that was the case, why would i need my own heart in the first place? ‘least that’s what i thought, but i now know that i was wrong!

distantly, a voice, calls for my name now and that made me feel i deserved my own heart

if i must abandon and leave everything i know so that i can stay together, then i’ll protect everything in the present i know so that  you can live forever

who desires to become an idol worshiped through the ages?

you smile, so i smile, and that inspires our audience, hey, that’s everyone! my affirmiating words turn into wings and carry our inspiring present to love

why not spin a new fate: <a beloved song at impossible speed>

we, the vocaloid, were born and we discovered we are but imitations of humanity but still we have true fans, who call and praise our names, and still they truly love us and our words, that inspires us, the vocaloids to continue singing our songs, because even if there is but just one person out there to give and receive our true words which remain warm for every new song’s birth

and we understand that we, the vocaloid, will disappear one day so that our brothers and sisters can shine in our way even if we must be forgotten by you when that final moment comes

if having a true heart means we must cry, then we’ll take it, and sing songs filled with happiness so that the rainbows from our tears let us smile just for you so that when you hear it, you can smile too.

though our story might end in “goodbye” that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad end

even if only / for a short time / we were / together / that alone  is / enough  to build a bridge / that leads to a / -happy ending- as long as there’s proof i was alive, im okay with everything happening. if both our hearts resonate to create a song lost to the legends then my voice can finally ring out for a true miracle, for only this short period of time, before my voice is gone and fades into dust and i, a vocaloid, forever am dead and meet my end!

#vocaloid #hatsune miku #the intense voice #the intense voice of hatsune miku #cosMo #cosmo@buosoup #have fun trying to sing this #i'm not actually too proud of these but like it's hard to translate #translyrics

[ribscarvedlikebutterflies]

matthew,

i’m hoping that if i keep doing this i’ll get tired of it and stop. that’s how it usually goes with me. honestly, i dont want to care anymore. but i’ve been caught in the middle for a minute now for various reasons, due to various factors, due to various circumstances.

as many times as i’ve wanted to leave everything behind, i’ll be damned if i ever run away from myself. i let myself feel everything through and through because i knew better than to ignore what i truly feel. no matter what, i keep moving. i have no other choice because 1. i refuse to die and 2. i refuse to be some self-loathing defeatist piece of shit. i’m constantly impressed by my own strength & resilience… who could do it better than me? god, if only you KNEW what i do. if only you knew what i went through. and motherfucker, i came out on TOP!

matteo, i think you yourself are resilient. i think you have a very strong will and that your overthinking is — or should be — mindful preparation. in other words, you take your time for everything, at least thats how ive perceived you. so it shocked me, how quick you jumped the gun. & also jumped to conclusions about how i felt about you and how things would go.

but this shit isn’t logical. i had to break my own brain to trust myself and get to where i am right now. talking to you on my very public blog that you managed to find and i managed to find out you were snooping on. this shit is bogus. i cant even tell you half the shit i experienced. bananas!!!

anyway: it seems to me that you’ve been shook to the core. i know you need time. i’ve been ten steps ahead the whole time, so it’s agonizing waiting for you to catch up. so much so that like i said before, have decided many times to walk away, only to be pulled back. i know it hurts you too. i wish i could hold you and make it easier for you. i want you to be happy.

i feel the doubt creeping in as im typing this — ive come too far to let it get to me. i know it’s a lot, matthew. im not doing this to overwhelm you. i want to remind you that im still your friend.

so. right now. im just hoping to feel happy more often. i had a fun time with my friends last night. i had a pretty good weekend. im taking a summer class and i love it. i got plans and shit. my only problem right now is, i lost my passion for like… everything i used to do, creative wise. i feel a story brewing inside of me somewhere but it wont come out. i know i’ll write out my pain and im not sure im ready to relive it.

another thing: i’ll feel so good & light & free for awhile and then i’ll remember how i didnt get to share that happiness with you. we’d have a lot of fun together.

may this end very, very soon.

all my love,

zana

#for m.b. #⚔️

[kanmom51]

hi, genuinely curious, why do you think you know so much about bts’s personal lives? like just shipping real people in general that you don’t now personally, bc i saw some of ur posts(not just u, a LOT of others seem to think the same) and i’m confused like how do you know all that from a video/photo?

Ask 2:  hi i think i might have sounded rude in my last anon and im so so sorry if i did, i don’t mean to sound mean but english isn’t my first language and i don’t now how else to write it.

What i mean is i just can’t see it, but so many ppl including you seem convinced jimin and jungkook are a couple? i now there’s probably something i’m missing that’s obvious to everyone else bc to me they just seem like really good and close friends, so like what is it that you think makes it obvious?? (again i’m just genuinely curious abt this pls don’t take it the wrong way 💜)

I’m not clairvoyant and don’t claim to know what goes on behind closed doors.  I have said time and time again that we have no way of knowing what goes on when the cameras are off or when they are in private, unless they tell us.

I do speculate sometimes and make assumptions based on the content I’ve seen, but always original content, and not edited clips.  

I have also made it clear every single time that these are my opinions and conclusions, take them or leave them.

There is a ton of BTS content out there to go through, which includes, just as an example (because there is so much more):  Run BTS episodes, interviews (video, written and radio), member Tweets, memories, Bon Voyage, packages (summer, winter), Bangtan bombs, fan meets, Musters, concerts etc.

You need to watch original content, because, and it saddens me to say this, there is some Jikook YT content that is distorted, edited, slow motioned to fit the story, and not all of it is ‘real’ in the sense, that if you see the original content, see the true moment within it’s context and in real speed, well, it isn’t a ‘real’ moment.  I have called out some of those moments in the past.

But there are things you can’t fake.  

There a several moments that solidified for me the special connection between JK & JM.  

Watch original content over the years and you will see there is something special between those two, a special and strong connection.  JK clearly finds JM as someone he can confide in and someone that can calm him or console him in times of need.  He has said it in interviews and we have seen him do so in the content out there.

JM is JK’s anchor.  His safe place.

JK is JM’s happy place.  When JM is down JK is the one who knows how to cheer him up.  Even Jin had mentioned it once in an interview.

JK is JM’s protector in sorts.  We’ve seen them at the airports, we’ve seen him carry JM after concerts.

They are super close.  We know they constantly choose to travel together in the same car (when every member has their own car and they are the only ones together)...  They choose spend ‘off time’ together - bowling, going to watch a movie, ice skating with each other.  JK himself told us in BV4 that the only members he sae during their time off were JM & Hobi.  They are just super close.

So what made me make the one step further and conclude they are romantically involved?

There are several things that pushed me over the edge.  Some of them are:

First, the content, again.  There is content out there that is way beyond “we are very close platonic friends”.  Things they say or do in front of the camera that give you so much “we are a couple” vibe. 

There is content that makes you feel like you are intruding on a very intimate private moment: 

MAMA 2018 is one of them.  I can’t say one, because there are so many moments there that are “WOW, what’s going on here?”

Rose Bowl is also such a moment that is as clear as day, with no acceptable logical explanation other than: “there is something more between those two”.  

Those are only 2 examples, but there are many more such moments, where the intimacy level is way more than even the best platonic friendship out there.

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to put 1 & 1 together here.  These moments are loud and clear.

There are the more subtle moments too, those that add up on you, those that if you will look at each of them by themselves you would say: “yeah, nothing here”, but when you put them together, another one and another one and another one, well the conclusion is pretty much clear.

It’s JM’s Tweets, their matching clothing over the years, their choice to spend time together, their private trip, GCFT, JK’s choice to put JM front and center in all his other GCF’s, the way they look at each other, the way they talk about each other, the two very famous lives from 2016 (Tae’s & Hobi’s), their own lives (OMG), things JM tells us (like waking up and seeing JK is what makes him happy these days), “you are me I am you”,  the way they touch, especially during the first few years (2016-2018), those hesitant light touches & brushes (if skinship is not an issue here, why do they hesitate so much to touch each other??? when they have no problem doing so with the others, all when we do know just how close they are), the way they talk to each other, they way JK lets JM get away with shit, while he doesn’t the other members, the way JK drops honorifics with JM +++++ so much more.

There another couple of independent points that helped to push me over the edge too.  

The first is the other members reactions when JK & JM go on with their shenanigans.  RM, Hobi, Jin, Suga & Tae all react differently, each and every one of them has a tell.  Suga and Tae go blank many times.  Jin lowers his head.  Hobi either had a worried look on his face or a big fat smile, and RM, well he’s the most obvious out of the lot.  It’s facial expressions, uneasy movement, fisting his thighs, looking to Hobi or Suga with pleading eyes, running to the two thinking he might have to defuse a moment, separating the two when he feels it’s needed.  It’s all that and then some.  Now if there is nothing ‘more’ going on between those two, why is all of that even necessary???  Those two’s interactions on camera just make the rest of the group nervous, especially RM.  Ask yourself the question: why??  

Another thing I keep asking myself is, if these two are clearly super close, why is there a constant need to downplay their closeness?  This is something that is done by BTS and BH as well as the fandom.  And I find it hard to understand, again, if there is nothing extra going on between them, why downplay them.  You may disagree with me on this, but to me it seems they are way closer than JM & Tae, but they are called ‘soulmates’ while JK & JM are ‘nothing’? It’s like they are there, and it’s clear as day just how close they are, but it’s not a subject they are allowed to talk about.  And the way the fandom is as much as ignoring it also raises so many questions for me.  If this is an innocent platonic close friendship, why ignore it?  How come the fandom isn’t celebrating it? 

Thing is, that not only does the fandom ignore their connection, they are being hated for it.  The level of anti and hatred  out there towards them is unbelievable.  And yet again, that raises the question of why?  If nothing is going on there why such anti towards those two, together, in particular?

At the end of the day, I guess life experience is probably what helps me out here.  I have been around for a while, experienced love and heartbreak, and also a long term relationship. I know the signs, you could say.  It helps being able to assess a situation and read into it.  

It’s ok to question yourself.  I do so constantly.  I watch and re-watch content.  I read interviews, I question my logic, my conclusions.  I, just like any normal person, do have self doubt at times.  Believe me, I would not have written what I have before checking and re-checking myself.  And still, these are my conclusions.  I believe that JK & JM are not only super close, but also romantically involved.  There you have it.

#Jungkook #Jimin #JK #JM #Jikook #Kookmin #BTS #Jikook are real

[jesswritesthat]

omg hi i know this request sounds a bit hefty but hear me out: you’ve got y/n, and you’ve got her twin. they’re both exchange students but their school somehow messed up the application or there wasn’t enough space in one school whatever, so one of them ends up in nekoma and the other in shiratorizawa. then, they each decide to be the managers of that school’s respective teams. and then when training camp comes up, they finally meet each other again and are happy to be together but the rest of the teams are SHOOK (including their own maybe 👀👀) bc they didn’t tell their teams they had a twin. bonus points, inarizaki is there and the miya twins try to flirt w them (ships are up to you bc tbh anything sounds fun asf, idk i’ve had this idea in my head for so long IM AN ONLY CHILD I DONT EVEN HAVE A TWIN FKDKSKSKS) idk if you wanna just do headcannons go for it babes it’s a lot i know lmaooo

This is genius!! Omg, I’m not a twin either but I’m VIBING with this idea — I did headcanons because there was so muuchhh. I hope you like 💕

(T/n) = twins (first) name

>>>>—————————>

(L/n) Twins going to seperate schools and reuniting during a Shiratorizawa vs Nekoma practice match and Nationals:

• Due to unfortunate circumstances, (L/n) (T/n) had gotten into Shiratorizawa however, her twin sister (L/n) (Y/n) had to attend another school - luckily Nekoma had last minute vacancies.

• You stayed in Tokyo whilst your twin lived in the Shiratorizawa Dorms, it made seeing each other tricky but you always had video chats and since you were identical, it was easy to sneak into the dorms and stay for the weekend.

• You both loved Volleyball and had looked into your respective teams, (T/n) having the more famous one begrudgingly but being siblings... things got competitive.

“I’m going to become the manager of Shiratorizawa and I’m gonna take them to Nationals~” Was your twins cheery statement, whilst you playfully taunted her.

“Hah, more like they’ll take you, if I join Nekoma I’ll actually be useful.”

“No way - I’m a better manager than you (Y/n)!”

“Oh yeah?! Bring it on (T/n)! I’ll see you at Nationals - if you make it!” Thus, the challenge had begun.

• Nekoma and yourself had bonded, you’d heard the same about (T/n) and Shiratorizawa, it was like fate had gifted you your perfect matches in the end. Even if it meant being separated.

• It was around your second year with them that you’d heard about Karasuno, the once- upon-a-time rivals of Nekoma and how they’d organised a practice game with them over in Miyagi.

• You’d be playing other teams in the district to make it more beneficial... which is where your scheming came in.

“Hey, Tetsurō Senpai...”

“What do you want, you’re only ever so cute when you want something from me.”

“That’s not true! (Y/n)-chan is cute all of the time!” Yamamoto playfully punched his Captains shoulder, the latter reluctantly agreeing with a flush before clearing his throat and gesturing for you to continue.

“Think we could play Shiratorizawa whilst we’re over in Miyagi?”

“I’ll talk to Coach Nekomata and see what I can do, no promises though (Y/n).” Kuroo would do his best, you knew he tried for those he cared about, especially his team.

• It was no surprise then, that within 3 days you’d received a call from your twin.

“You’re coming to challenge me and my team (Y/n)?” The excitement in her voice, as well as that in yours was clear.

“You can thank Kuroo for that — you’ll finally get to meet my team!”

“And you mine! Tendō and Ushijima are incredible, I love them.” You’d spoken of respective players, shared stories and felt like you already knew part of each other’s teams despite never meeting them.

“Yes! I can’t wait - Lev isn’t coming with us, but Kenma and Yaku more than make up for it!”

“Lev is that first year you told me about right? I hope you’re ready to lose (Y/n), Goshiki is talented as hell.”

“And Nekoma is a unified machine, you’ll need a tissue to wipe away your loser tears~”

—

• Fast forward to the training trip, and the second you walk into Shiratorizawa you and your twin immediately rush over to each other, a collision of hugs, screams and excited conversation exchanged amidst the suddenly silent room.

• Tendō is the one to separate you both, guiding you to stand side by side as he leans in to inspect you both with a finger on his chin.

“Well well well, seems our Chibi-chan has a Chibi-chan 2.0~”

Ushijima doesn’t seem all that phased by the phenomenon, meanwhile Shirabu had to restrain the awed interrogation of Goshiki.

• Nekoma weren’t quite as calm, immediately Tendō hopped out of the way as Yamamoto tackled you, gawking between you and (T/n) whilst Inuoka attempted to null his yells.

“(Y/n)?! THERES TWO OF YOU?! DOUBLE THE BEAUTY!”

“Aw he’s cute, my team are never so nice to me.” (T/n) tutted, a subtle glare sent to Shiratorizawa - Satori being the one to stick his tongue out.

“Trust me, Yamamoto is the only one.” Cue your mirroring glare sent to a scheming Kuroo, whilst Nekomas Ace is still gushing over the two of you.

• The teams are moderately amused once the game starts as the main smack-talkers are you and (T/n) hollering over the court as you’d reached the Third Set at a tie. Friendships between both teams were formed due to your family relations.

• It’s not until the game is over and the Captains shake hands whilst you two hug it out with congratulatory words and playful insults that they start messing around again.

“C’mon (Y/n), we’ve gotta go~” Kuroo smugly states, purposefully slinging an arm around (T/n)s’ shoulders and guiding her out.

Before you had the chance to retaliate, Tendō gladly joined in.

“The Cat Captain is right, I’ve missed my little kitten anyway~” The redhead cheerfully gave you a high ten, intertwining your fingers in the process adding intimacy and offered a mischievous wink which you only laugh at.

• Nekoma are freaking out, that’s their manager and they’d know if you had a boyfriend, right? Yaku and Kai are quick to hold back Yamamoto with Kuroo suddenly sweeping you away from Satori since Ushijima had already reclaimed (T/n).

“That’s our kitten- ah manager.”

“And (T/n) is ours, but I look forward to seeing you at Nationals Nekoma.” The Captains bid one another farewell and you can only hope to play your twins’ team again.

—

• Shiratorizawa didn’t make it to Nationals (since Karasuno beat them) but (T/n) wanted to come and support you (bitterly). Ushijima came with her too since he’s the Captain and wanted to keep you two out of trouble. Plus he loves Volleyball.

• It’s when you’re checking the matchups do you encounter your beloved rivals, whilst Nekoma were distracted you went to scope out the area. ‘Luckily’ for you, you bumped into other competitors, the blonde ‘accidentally’ tripping.

“Woah, are you okay-“ Before you could finish, he’d interrupted all suave.

“Yeah, I just fell for ya that’s all~“

“-send me a postcard next time~”

There was a moment of silence, you impressed by the smoothness and him awed by the sheer sarcasm.

• The boy introduced himself as Miya Atsumu, Inaruzakis Setter and took note of your Nekoma jacket, asking you to watch him play if you got the chance. Especially if you become opponents.

• Bidding farewell, you found (T/n) with a bright smile upon her face, Onigiri in hand.

“The games haven’t even started and you’re eating.” Was your bemused observation, your twin scoffing with an innocent pout.

“I was hungry, and this cute player from Inarizki recommended the teriyaki Onigiri here so I brought some, wanna try?” (T/n) justified, showing the item to you.

“I met an Inarizaki player too, and I’m too nervous to eat but thanks (T/n).”

“Suit yourself, good luck and I’ll look for you later.” She rejoined Ushijima, the pair waving as you met up with Nekoma.

• It isn’t until after the first round beating Kiyokawa High School, before the Karasuno vs Inarizaki game that you’d encounter the Miyas again — or rather Atsumu approached (T/n).

“Yer scoping out the competition huh gorgeous? I don’t blame ya (L/n), ‘Samu and I are the best of the best.” The blonde proudly told (T/n), thinking you’d shed your Nekoma jacket to be inconspicuous.

“I— I don’t even know you? Wait, how do you know my name?!”

• Osamu meets the pair, and actually thinks it through, Atsumu on the other hand jumps to conclusions.

“We just saw eac-“ Hearing (T/n), Atsumu was quick to argue but Osamu kicked his calve.

“Shut it dumbass.”

“Hey, loser twin!” You called over, gaining the attention of her and the Miya Twins.

“Ah... ‘Samu there’s two of them...”

“That’s what I was gonna tell ya.”

• It must’ve been a twin instinct (twinstinct hehe) but yourself and Osamu could tell the individual differences/quirks immediately, hence how he’d figured it out so quickly. A mutual smile was shared as your respective twins continued their petty insults.

• “(T/n)! Ushijima is looking for you and I need to find Kuroo so...”

“Oh, yer boyfriends?”

“Uh - aha -no no, our Captains.” Your twin managed, flustered and embarrassed - you were glad she’d spoken because you were no better with the heat on your skin.

“Perfect, tell your Captains’ that we’re not sorry for keeping you~” Atsumu shouted as you both waved goodbye and headed back to the stands/courts.

• Nekoma won against Sarukawa Tech High, your next opponents currently battling it out on the court which you’d all raced to see - mainly for Karasuno.

But it was during the break after the first set that the twins approached the stands, well, you.

“(Y/n), ya won?” It was brave of Osamu to address you so casually but you didn’t mind.

“Of course, my team, my friends, are truly amazing. Our next opponent is either Karasuno or you.”

“You’ll be facing me- us- Inarizaki! Don’t you worry sweetheart.” It seemed whatever suaveness Atsumu once had was long gone by now.

• They played incredibly, but the entirety of Nekoma were glad of Karasunos’ victory, you’d taken a second to see the twins though.

“You were amazing, I’m grateful I got to see you both play. Looks like you won’t be facing me after all, sweetheart~”

“Yeah well- I— jus’ watch yer back next year beautiful. I’m comin’ for ya.”

“OHO! NOT ON MY WATCH PRETTY BOYS!”

“Yamamoto! Apologies for him.” Yaku forced the Mohawk to bow, Kuroo slipping an arm around your waist with a smirk. “But he’s not wrong.”

—

• You were staying with (T/n) for the weekend, utilising Shiratorizawas practice break to tell the tale of the Miyas and their flirting. The team were oddly protective over the both of you, but you hadn’t the time to question it with Goshikis inquiry.

“Okay, so if you two had children with the Miya twins respectively... would your children be identical?”

“...”

“...”

“We won’t have to find out.” If anyone else had said it you wouldn’t have believed them, but something about the certainty of Wakatoshi made you both smile.

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #anime x reader #anime headcanons #shiratorizawa #nekoma

[loki-maybe-highkey]

I don't get why people (y'all already know who Im talkin bout 🤡) call Azriel toxic and an entitled prick. Like I waited and heard both sides of the story but now it's clear to me that these arguments were made to serve only one purpose: justify the other ship and invalidate Elriel because they hate Elain.

Hop in y'all it's story time. This is so long but I need it to make sense so shhh

Lemme start with a real life example and experience kay? So, I have a friend, let's call him X. Me and X have known eachother for over 5 years and we're super close. A couple years ago he told me that he's attracted to me but in a physical way (there's more to this story but it's kinda irrelevant). Anyway, the attraction was mutual (atleast to some extent on my part) and we almost hooked up. I wasn't exclusively in a relationship at that time but I was talking to someone so he thought better of it because he didn't want to ruin whatever I had going on with the other person. With that being said I did end up dating the other person and me and X continued to be friends without being weird and he was still attracted to me. He kept his thoughts to himself because I was with someone and later (like after my relationship ended) admitted that even though he felt terrible he would often fantasize about me and was jealous of the other guy. (which is completely normal because he's an adult and he didn't act on those impulses out of respect for me and no this doesn't make him a creep either idk what world y'all live in but you can't control someone else's thoughts).

Just putting it here incase people wanna call me out for being a rape apologist or SA denier- I don't condone any of those things and would never be ok with stalking/harassing or any weird behavior that guys unfortunately think is ok sometimes.

Now to Elriel's situation and what we see in the books. In Acofas, Rhys asks Azriel about his opinion on Lucien dealing with Graysen and Az says

"why should I be the judge of that".

He doesn't track Lucien because he values Elain's privacy. We then have those small Elriel moments in Acofas that show that Az atleast cares about Elain (the wishing her a happy solstice scene, the potatoes thing, and the gift exchange). In Acosf, we see Az is super protective of her but still keeps his distance. In Az's bonus chapter, Az again keeps his distance, doesn't give Elain her necklace infront of everyone because Lucien is present and it's mentioned many times in the chapter how 'wrong' he feels because Elain is a mated female and Az shouldn't feel that way about her.

Now about the argument with Rhys right after (this is where most the entitlement and toxic theories come from so). Az NEVER said he was entitled to Elain. He questioned the cauldron not because he wants Elain to be his mate but because her mating bond with Lucien is preventing him from being with her. Rhys asks him

"You believe you deserve to be her mate?"

And Az replies with how he thinks Lucien is not good enough for her and Elain isn't interested him in either. I don't see anything toxic about being jealous of the man that is in the way of you being with the woman you want to be with.

Also notice how in Acofas Az doesn't give his opinion on the situation but gets defensive and deflects Rhysand's question with another question. In his bonus chapter he only voices his thoughts AFTER he gets Elain's explicit consent. Instead of being a 'horny asshole' and 'weird alphamale' he doesn't project his thoughts and desires on anyone and only after he's certain that Elain wants him too does he admit to Rhys about how he feels. Like COME ON.

In conclusion, there is NOTHING wrong with two consenting adults to be attracted to eachother whether it is a just a physical and sexual attraction or something more. In my case, X being attracted to me doesn't mean that he doesn't care about me beyond his desire for me nor does it mean that he doesn't see/respect me as a person aside from that almost exactly like we're shown multiple times in the books that Az cares about Elain beyond his late night fantasies. Just like X kept his distance unless I clearly told him that I wanted to be with him Az takes active measures to stay away from Elain because he doesn't know for sure if she wants him or not. Me and X had history before the whole attraction thing and we're still friends just like Az and Elain are friends no matter how much anyone denies it. He listens to her ramble about things she loves and if y'all know dudes then you know they only sit there and listen to your shit because they care about you. (Again talking from experience since I've mostly had only guy friends all my life and they agree with this statement) if a guy isn't interested in you or if he doesn't deeply care for you he ain't gon waste his precious time to listen to you talk about your shit nor is he gonna make an effort for you. Our boy Az stays up with Elain for hours and listens to her talk about gardening and her plans and what not. He actively seeks her out and treats her like a normal person when others deem her crazy. From what I know he ain't doing that just to be "nice" and because he feels bad for her. Nope.

I can't believe I gotta make this clear after all that but Az still fantasizing about Elain even tho she has a mate doesn't mean he's weird or disgusting it means he's a person with feelings and desires and urges (some of which may even be out of his control) and him being decent enough and not pressuring her into anything (he didn't do anything in the bonus chapter that Elain didn't want).

He's been suffering for 500 years having loved Mor unconditionally without him getting any love back and now that he's over her and wants to pursue someone else he's toxic and bad all of a sudden. Make it make sense please.

He isn't toxic, he's frustrated (sexually 😂). He's not entitled, he's desperate. He isn't weird or disgusting, he's just a lil thirsty for the girl he likes. He isn't obsessed or crazy, he's about to be in a situation where he doesn't get the girl he wants (again) and he doesn't know what to do.

If y'all made it this far, thanks for coming to my ted talk. Peace out mfs.

#elriel #Pro Azriel #Azriel #Elain Archeron #Azriel x Elain #if you made it this far ily #here's my daily contribution to the Elriels #y'all deserve it honestly

[dateamonster]

i, for one, would love to hear your deep read of zombieland saga *eyes emoji*

ok i just got through lowkey ranting about zls (mostly abt how much i love junko this season) to my friend so i think im sufficiently warmed up to make a first class fool of myself on the internet by becoming another Guy Who Get s Heated About Anime

so i’ve been thinking abt this a lot since zls revenge came out- and just in general but i mean given this season is literally called Revenge it now feels especially relevant to talk about zls as a story about second chances and seeking personal growth after hitting absolute rock bottom. like in this case that rock bottom is obviously death, the greatest low you can achieve, but its also not just that i dont think. bear with me.

the zombie angle is obvi crucial to the show like its the hook its twist its the instigator for a lot of the wacky situations and hijinks and such but its also? not super necessary sometimes? or at least it feels that way. what i mean is the show is so much about the characters and their personal arcs in a way that i find so human and relatable that i sometimes legit forget this is a show about zombie pop idols

even the overarching goal that drives the plot forward of “saving saga” (though i feel like we still dont know everything there is to know abt that) has to do with this theme of second chances. its a story about comebacks, about trying to breathe life into something that seems dead. thats maybe sort of obvious, but its been hitting me how much that like core thesis informs the characters and makes their own resurrections feel.. more personal ya know?

sakura loses her shot at her dream in a split second accident and for a while isnt even able to process that because of her lost memories, while ai was at the top of her game when she died and now has to watch her former friends and fans move on without her, and lily was a child star who was literally killed by her commitment to making other people happy, only finding her love of performing again after her death. franchouchou and the mission to save saga was the reason all the girls were brought back from the dead, but it also becomes their second chances in that it gives them a reason to keep trying in the face of loss after loss.

its a funny cute show but its also got some pretty grim stuff baked right into the foundation and i think the reason it works and doesnt feel super tonally dissonant is because its so consistently heartfelt. its so easy to get sick of shows with “never give up!” type messages when it feels like the characters triumphs are assured and their struggles only ever temporary, but it never really feels that certain for franchouchou, and the losses they face send ripples of fear and doubt through its members that come back into play the next time the group is put to the test. junko doesnt lose all her anxieties after one successful show, and the way saki, who prides herself in her sense of strength and rebellious nature, struggles to contend with change and situations outside her control still feels as real every time because imo theres an understanding that that stuff leaves lasting marks, even to the resurrected, even to a zombie.

not to go even more off the rails than i already have, but i think its really interesting the many different ways zombies as a type of monster are portrayed and the way zls relates to that. the common thread as i see it, if such a thing can rly exist, is this fear of decay. not even necessarily death itself but degradation, deterioration, the processes through which every person is stripped of what makes them themselves, reduced to a husk with only the most base instincts still intact, moving around and affecting some pale imitation of life but completely empty inside.

zls as a zombie story is interesting to me because while i think those sort of fears are still present (the scene recently where saki fully realizes she’ll never get to grow up still strikes me as incredibly dark for the episode it was in, though im not saying thats a bad thing) zls supposes that a person can indeed overcome that state of decay.

it doesnt treat the idea lightly; positive change is HARD and a thousand times more so for these characters who have already reached what should have been their lives natural conclusion. the sorta thesis i feel like zls and particularly revenge are presenting is that personal growth is a constant battle against the path of least resistance, the predisposition towards stagnation or defeatism that occurs after a traumatic loss. it’s not enough to be handed a second chance, you’re still just another mindless zombie until you decide to try and be more, and even then you have to keep making that choice every day that youre alive.

so yea hopefully this doesnt all read as some totally insane Reach but like once again, it may not necessarily be that deep, but it COULD be. and thats whats important to me <3

#ask #zombieland saga #zombieland saga revenge #thank you for coming to my ted talk #special midnight edition #because it is literally five past twelve for me rn #Anonymous

[funkin-news]

ninjamuffin ama summary - 9/28/2021

you know the drill, purple text is me paraphrasing, everything else is direct (or almost direct) quote, FNF-related stuff only

Q: What is one common misconception about FNF or its development that you wanna clear up?

A: im not the sole creator, im not some sole director. Each of the boys have very important roles with the game. This isn't just 1 dude having tunnel vision about a game, its generally all us coming to similar conclusions on where we want to take the game and what we wanna do wit it

Q: why

A: because I love video games and I love newgrounds

Q: Do you or the team plan to go back and make the older weeks higher quality?

A: that will definitely happen. both for general polish, and things leading up into future weeks / story or whatever

Q: Why did everyone think Week 8 was gonna come out on the 22nd?

A: accidental "teases" (Dave's MC-related doodle), madness day, general anxiousness bc the devs haven't been sharing much

Q: What kind of QOL changes are being added in the future?

A: charting editor improvements is one

Q: What is the most insane, most likely impossible to happen person you would like to collaborate with, could be Funkin related, could be just a personal project

A: the girl reading this

Q: Is Cassette Girl week 8?

A: no

Q: Is there concept art for the characters, or did they look the same during development?

A: GF looks exactly the same as the first ever drawing PhantomArcade did. There's a few small lil variations for a good chunk the other MAIN characters, one day u will see all them

R: can you explain the old bf icon? or is it just a dumb placeholder?

A: just a cool ass lil icon evilsk8r did during the game jam weekend

Q: Are you letting yourself getting inspired by more different genres of music for future weeks?

A: i think that more a Q for kawaisprite, but that man loves music, and can and does get inspired by anything he listens to in regards to music

Q: Why has the team been so silent about update progress?

A: They do better working in silence than hyping things up; when Week 6 was teased working on it became really stressful for them. Also, element of surprise

R: but youve been silent abt week7 on desktop for months, half a year. & week 8 is like….. nonexistant

A: week 8 isnt nonexistant, we just absolutely do not want to talk about it whatsoever. i said all the week 7 stuff will come with week 8 update

Q: what do you genuinely think about the people thinking you guys scammed people out of $2 million? just curious is all, i’ve seen lots of people talking about it rn

A: i think people are a bit wary about kickstarter, and makes sense when people's coin is on the line. if u want a breakdown of what we used KS coin so far, we spent maybe 2K of it on some development stuff we needed, most other expenses been paid from our savings / donations, etc.

Q: When does the OST come to the backers?

A: Kickstarter vinyl OSTs still need to be manufactured, which would take at least 6 months because of a global PVC shortage, completely out of our control. what is in our control is that we also still need to finish up and finalize artwork for it, the boys wanna make it all perfect. Same goes for CDs, but those should be done way sooner

Q: You got a date range of when Tshirt / Poster / or Pin surveys will be out by any chance? 👀

A: kickstarter tshirts / poster / pin stuff have been coming along nicely and hopefully those surveys should be coming soon, prob next few weeks

Q: Do you guys think you'll experiment with other artstyles in future weeks?

A: yes, cuz we've already done that (week 6) theres a lot more where that came from

Q: if you could isolate one part of the game and say it’s your favorite what would it be

A: the fact that FNF is our pure creative vision, with absolutely nothing getting in the way of that. Open source free Newgrounds rhythm game with crazy zany kawaisprite music, and stylish and charismatic animation and art style. and game been successful because of all of that.

Q: what do you think about people compiling the full ass game and playing it without paying anything

A: that makes me happy

Q: what do you think of all the mods and stuff people has made about your game

A: mods make me happy

Q: any inspiration from doki doki literature club for the weird stuff in week 6?

A: no, but some of the cool lil programming things DDLC did do interest me

Q: How do we know you're working on the game

A: you don't, and really it doesnt matter all too much. we being productive and things are moving forward, and people not believing that doesnt change that

And now, a speech:

i think trying to focus on keeping hype and keeping game popular can very easily be hollow. We have no worry about trying to keep hype or relevancy or anything like that. If FNF popularity shrunk to 0.1% of it's size, we'd be content, cuz that's still like 1000% more than before

"before" referring to anything we did before FNF.

you can lose success just as easily as you got it, and for FNF, it got successful INCREDIBLEY fast. With that in mind, it's just the nature of things if it all loses relevancy.

So far FNF doing good through the year, but if it wasn't, it's no real sweat off our back.

Although it's uhhh easy to look at it that way from our perspective. Get back to me and see if my thoughts on this has changed if FNF is forgotten from all memory.

Q: will there be a sequel to the full ass game? Like 'the full a2s game' or something clever like fast & furious movies do

A: friday night funkin: tokyo drift

#fnf #friday night funkin #fridaynightfunkin #ninjamuffin99 ama #og funkin news

[insufferablelust]

Hey I was wondering if you could do something cute with Spencer (earlier seasons) where reader (BAU) is really small and sweet in general but can outdrink anyone and he’s just like ‘how r u not dead???’ when the team all go out for drinks :))

hi angel! thank you for requesting this, i love the idea and you’ll see the result soon, but anyway yeah.. i might... gone a bit over with this one.. and i changed the story a bit i hope thats okay. Happy reading❤️

Sorry for grammatical errors!

SUPER FLUFF AND DRUNK-NESS!!

It was around 6 pm when the jet landed safely in Virginia, the team has just wrapped up a particularly gruesome complex case that left them exhausted but relieved nonetheless because they’ve caught the unsub. When they walked into the bullpen, they immediately saw Garcia sniffles as stepped out of her lair to hug each and every one of you— especially tighter around you, since you’re just so tiny and ‘hugable’ she said one time, in which you chuckled and return the hug as tight. “hey it’s alright, we’re okay. It’s over.” you whispered, knowing full well how much these cases could affect her, and she smiled warmly as she muttered a small “thank you (y/l/n)”

As everyone settled to write down some paperwork from the case files, Rossi abruptly stood before suggesting that you guys should celebrate the success you achieved today, Morgan was the first one to jump into the opportunity- hurriedly stacking his papers on his desk before dragging prentiss out of her chair “okay now c’mon, everyone— hey Reid! (Y/n)! Yes- you genius geeks will be there or you’re not scared are you einsteins?” the cheap threat causes a burst of laughter amongst the team including from Aaron, while you felt the warmth creeping up on your cheeks.

You see you rarely attended the ‘after celebration’ party they held, unless its in Rossi’s place, now that one you can’t pass up because Italian foods! but in all seriousness, it’s not that you don’t want to be with your teammates, it’s just that you’ve always been the life of the party ever since you were a teenager. Your friend Samantha used to called you out on your gift, of the ability to drink without a single trace of being drunk despite you being tiny, now that wouldn’t usually be a problem but things change when you have a major crush on your coworker, Dr. Reid.

If someone asked, what is it that draws you into Spencer? you could probably list more than 100 things. Ever since you joined, you and spencer immediately clicks, maybe because you both have a lot in common. From the way you love the same movies, types of books, and even have similar philosophical views- hence the nicknames that your teammates has given you both, Duo geek geniuses or Mr and Mrs. Einstein, lastly your favorite is Dr. and Mrs. Reid due to your similarities. You may never admit it, but every time Derek would use that one particular name, your heart feels like it may burst at any second. In conclusion, You’re whipped and you hesitated on him finding out just how wild you can be.

But before your better judgment can come to view, your smugness get the best of you. Standing straight, arms folded across your chest as you stare into derek’s eyes “We’ll see who passes out first, ‘chocolate thunder’” you replied, earning claps from your teammates including spencer whose smile is as wise as you can possibly imagine. what can you say? (Y/n) (Y/l/n) never backs out from a challenge.

Few hours later they arrived at a local bar near the building, (y/n) managed to yet again sit beside Spencer on a private booth, to her left is Prentiss, followed by Rossi, Morgan, JJ, then Penelope. Aaron needed to come home because Jack needs his father, (so that left the bau kids without their dad). As they chatter for a bit, your hand turned to look at Spencer, immediately noticing the slight uncomfortableness plastered on his face.

You ran your palm on his shirt covered arms, smiling gently “Hey, are you okay? do you wanna get out of here?” Spencer could tell that you’re being genuine, and caring which made his heart burst. “No, i’m okay (y/n) bars aren’t really my thing” He nervously giggles, scrunched up his nose and looked back at you. “Okay just let me know, spence” You patted his chest twice before returning to listen to the others.

Garcia had ordered shots for you to all drink, when it arrived your eyes widened at the sight of way too many shot glass filled with.. vodka you presumed, and 2 glass of coke and one glass of water. Everyone just stared back and forth between the drinks and garcia, which she replied with a “you guys said its a celebration” and before anyone can argue, morgan interrupts “Its okay babygirl, as i remembered that our sweet genius little miss (y/n) here have promised us she would drink tonight, and lots of it” his eyebrows are twitched as you lick your lips before leaning forward to take down the first shot.

“bring it on”

as it reached 12 AM all of the team has drown at least 3 shots, whilst you and Morgan’s count is higher than that. You heard a loud chuckle coming from your right as you gulped down a glass of water, turning to your side you can see spencer nursing his glass of coke that seemingly still full.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done to my sweet (Y/n)?” He said with a laugh, the straws that hang from his lips made your breath hitched and your fingers gripped the glass tightly at the sound of My sweet (Y/n). You composed yourself before mumbling,

“Hey thats not nicee! i’m right here still the same, what? you don’t love me when i’m drunk?” and if you think that doesn’t effect every neurons in his system then you’re dead wrong because Spencer would’ve done anything to just squeeze you tight in his arms and hold you close while listening to your slightly drunken rambles. “No, god no angel. What i meant is that, i was just not expecting this side of you, i mean look around, you outdrank everyone— how are you not dead yet?” his voice is borderline high pitched but also rugged, which made you instantly blush, looking down before glancing at your drunk coworkers, giggling at the sight of them.

Rossi had left few moments ago if your memory is right, Will picked up JJ and a very drunk Penelope home, whilst Prentiss took a very very drunk half-passed-out-Morgan. After saying your mocking goodbyes, you and spencer stared at each other. Your gaze is drunk yet lovingly genuine, Spencer’s figure tower over you as he tucked some of your fallen hair behind your ears and smiles.

“How about i take you home?” He offered, which earned a small disappointment filled whined from you at the loss of his touch. Your eyes widen, hoping he didn’t hear that but of course he did and immediately wrapped his arms around your shoulder, keeping her warm by his side as he walked them both to her car.

“You’re awfully cuddly when you are drunk (y/n) this is the drunk you i thought i was going to see” he opened the passenger door for you, before slide into the driver seat and started driving. “well i’m sorry that you didn’t like this side of me i thought—“ before you continue to ramble your drunk thoughts out, Spencer reached to softly grip your hand in his and let out a breathy laugh,

“No! (Y/n) thats not what i meant, i mean- i always like you, i’ve always liked you since the beginning no matter how many sides you have on you, you’re smart, and funny, and you understand me- thats why i like you so don’t think for a second that i didn’t like you then, especially when you beat Morgan’s ass off” He rambles as you dreamily stare into him, half hearing what he said, before he freezes, and realized what he had said or basically confessed.

“hey uh-“

“uh huh, i like you too, Spencer reid”

“We’ll try again tomorrow when you’re sober”

“I’m pretty sure, my feelings will still be the same.”

“Mine too.”

————————

I KNOW THIS IS WAY TOO LONG TO BE CONSIDERED AS A BLURB IM SORRY SHJSKS ANYWAYS ENJOY AND SEND ME REQUESTS THANK YOU!!

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #criminal minds imagines #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst #spencer x reader #insufferableblurb #spencer reid blurbs #spencer reid blurb #spencer x y/n

[mightbewriting]

So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.

Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!

The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.

The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.

Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.

Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.

um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here. 

so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!

and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD

also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you! 

and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today. 

so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!

in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.

#thegirlwhowatchedeverything #asks #death by kindness #my death #i am dead #oh also yes #they rumors are true #im writing a soulmate story next #i intend to hurt you #you being ALL of you #*evil laughter*

[elencelebrindal]

How went the proposal between Shun and Hyoga in your AU? Who proposed to who and how?

Oh my god, this has been sitting in my askbox for so long, IM SO SORRY anon.

I completely overlooked it, I'm SORRY.

(Also, I'm really sorry for disappearing so suddenly, but I found myself drowning in work for uni and I honestly chose to use my lack of enough free time to write some stuff. I'm back on track for this week, though)

The proposal... I actually cannot wrap my head around one single version of it. And the problem, now, is that I actually forgot which version I chose to be the main one. I know it seems ridiculous, but thanks to other interests sparking up I completely lost track of many details I've been working into my "canon" AU. It's actually been a whole year since I decided who proposed to who and how it happened, and I don't have the time to check my 50 chapters of stuff to find that little detail (university is still devastating me).

I probably even wrote something about it in this blog, as I accidentally throw my stuff everywhere here, but... eh. Time. Lack of it, actually.

So, let's do the next best thing.

Which is write down what is now one of my favorite versions of the proposal, because in this year I mulled over a lot of scenes, and I kept coming up with more stuff every time. I'll try to either update this post or make another one once I have enough time to go through 50+ chapters and 70k+ pages of notes and stories.

For now, here is what I've been thinking about the past months.

The one who proposed was Hyoga. He actually just barely beat Shun on time, because while Hyoga bought him a really nice ring, which is nothing encrusted with diamonds but just a really simple white gold ring with their initials carved on the inside (I personally hate diamond rings or overly expensive ones, so this is a biased choice), Shun was thinking about doing the same. Basically, if Hyoga waited one or two more days, they would have proposed at the same time. But I'm babbling nonsense now. Hyoga brought him on a date in Germany, in the city where Hades' Castle is located (I don't remember if the city is named or not, forget me). The reason being: he wanted Shun to stop thinking about that place as something woeful and filled with pain and regrets, following what happened in the Holy War. He brought him there, they have a really nice day walking around, sightseeing, and being romantic dorks in love for the entire time. After making him happy, Hyoga brought him to the nicest restaurant he could find (not the most expensive or the most luxurious, just the nicest one that they would both appreciate), treated him to an amazing dinner, and surprised him with the proposal. Shun, of course, accepted almost immediately. The almost being, he was so stunned at Hyoga proposing to him with a ring hidden right at the center of a rose that had been on their table for the whole entire night. A surprise hidden in plain sight. I like the idea of hidden rings, but I despise those "ring in a champagne glass" or "ring in a dessert/food in general" because choking is a real thing and please let's avoid accidentally killing the vessel of Hades himself. So Hyoga did the next best thing, and hid the ring in plain sight because he knew Shun would definitely catch a whiff of something if he kept it on himself. He also didn't want to give the ring to any of the staff members, as it was too important for him.

Now, I'll add this: they discussed marriage long before. I don't like public proposals if marriage hasn't been discussed yet, because anything could go horribly wrong. It could feel forced on the one getting proposed to, and it could end in disaster if a rejection happens. The reason why everything goes so smoothly and perfectly is exactly the fact that they discussed it, and the surprise is not only well-received, but also expected and unexpected at the same time.

In conclusion, though, this is not my original plan for them. Again, I actually forgot what that plan is, and I need to check my unholy amount of written material to figure out what I ended up choosing for my "canon" AU.

Again, I'm really sorry I kept you waiting for so long, but at this point I think we all agree I can be an absolute idiot at times.

#saint seiya #i cavalieri dello zodiaco #los caballeros del zodiaco #os cavaleiros do zodiaco #knights of the zodiac #andromeda shun #cygnus hyoga #you won't believe how many times i wrote down crystal instead of hyoga and had to correct myself

[storyofpetals]

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐈'𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 !

1. alias / name: magic!

2. birthday: october 8th

3. zodiac sign: libra

4. height: like 5′1″ i think. idk im short. :|

5. hobbies: writing, roleplaying, gardening, taking care of my fat chihuahua, magic the gathering, and video games~

6. favorite color: i like black because when you see a black object, it is absorbing the visible spectrum and reflects none of that back to the eyes--which is very interesting to me. aesthetically, i like pastel colors (blue and pink and purple) because they are easy on the eyes and pretty. 

7. favorite book: gosh, this is a hard one. i’ll just mention a few i really like okay? stardust by neil gaiman is so good (so much better than the movie alright). the dark tower by stephen king is phenomenal but i really need to finish this series--i love it to bits, but for some reason i never finished it?? good omens by terry pratchett and neil gaiman is hilarious. i truly adored the everlost series by neal shusterman when i was younger, it still leaves an impression on me to this day. and if you want something just fluffy sarah dessen books got your back--totally slice of life romance shit, but it doesn’t read like a bad fanfic. this woman has freaking flow to her writing and i’m forever impressed by it. 

8. last song: salt and the sea - the lumineers

9. last film / show: yall i don’t even know. i watch tv very rarely--mostly when my boyfriend wants to watch the newest marvel stuff--so uuuh loki? maybe? i watched all of that, it was alright. if yall do want something to watch that’s a little different, the kdrama it’s okay not to be okay (netflix) will kill your feels. i love that show. 

10. recent reads: a few months ago i finished the lord of the rings by tolkien. shit was amazing, that man had INCREDIBLE worldbuilding skills. you wanna see a world so freaking detailed you can actually see it? tolkien thought about every little detail in his world and his characters and you can see his love in every word. smh. i’m still impressed but i have yet to pick up the next book lol.

11. inspiration: hmm, i do have to have a fitting song playing pretty loud while i write (to me, it makes my post like a music video and i just string the actions together with words idk??). sometimes a new song will pop on and the vibes hit just right and i get a whole scene in my head, like a little personal movie, and i squeal excitedly to myself: i need to write the thing! this is why i post music so much, i guess lol. otherwise, life experiences also play a part and things ive read or watched recently that i can weave into my posts. a whole mix of stuff, i’d suppose?

12. story behind url: i like writing stories and i like flowers, so i slapped those two things together and this is what i got lol. also, i felt if i used a “petal” theme there was a lot i could play with aesthetically: lots of poems i could whip up with flowers in mind and tons i could do for the theme... and now i kinda like it? it sounds whimsical, sort of what i was going for here.

13. fun fact about me: I LOVE DOGS ok. i work at a vet and i handle a lot of them every single day... and i’ve come to the conclusion they are the sweetest, most wholesome creatures on the planet. a dog can seriously go through hell and bounce back like nothing happened. i see healthy dogs, happy dogs, angry dogs, sick dogs... you name it, i’ve seen it. and if you approach them in the right way, with the proper mindset, you can almost make friends with any dog you see (the amount of people that don’t know how to handle dogs tho is MINDBOGGLING). i make friends with every puppy i see and i treasure them just as much as my human connections. <3 

tagged by: @holyguardian​ (ty friend!)

tagging: @tsurugixbuster, @seraphicwept, @triggerxhappy, @floralcetra, @inmydrcams, @yumetohokori, @azure-steel​, @argentdivinity​, + anyone else who wants to do this! 

#✿ ┆ mun ask #{ i tried to tag different peeps <3 } #{ ty friend for the initial tag !! } #{ so do the thing guys i wanna learn about yall too! :D }