#im sorry pals you’ll just get content when you get it

[astroph1les]

hitting all the bases [h.c]

summary: after coming back for good from college, you catch up with your old school friends. hazel, your old crush and good friend, informs you that she’s a professional baseball player now. old feelings return and this time, you’ll be scoring. you’re sure of it.

pairing: hazel callahan x fem!reader

contains: mature language and content, smut — oral (hazel receiving), fingering (r!receiving), light choking (r!receiving), praise, locker room sex, baseball player!hazel, fwb trope, isabel & josie being readers parents.

word count: 4.3K

a/n: im so sorry for posting this so late at night but i just had to share it. i sincerely apolgize if anything is wrong because i’m not a baseball fanatic. i hope you all enjoy. thank you <3

You had been across states at university for the past nine months. You didn’t expect all of your friends from high school to be so excited to see you. It warmed your heart to know that they had set up and planned a ‘welcome home’ party.

Isabel, PJ, Josie, Brittany, Stella-Rebbeca, and Hazel had talked to your parents a week before your arrival day to decorate your house full of banners, balloons, snacks, and alcohol for you. You were elated with the overwhelming sound of fanfare and party poppers as you walked through the front door.

Of course, you hugged everyone in a tight and kind hug. You quickly ran to your room to change as you were in sweatpants and a plain shirt from the flight back. You didn’t want to socialize in clothes that had been clinging to your body for hours on end.

After you had gotten changed into a much more fitting outfit, you began to socialize with everyone.

Isabel and Josie were going on three years of being together, very happily which warmed your heart. Brittany gushed about how her jewelry business had been skyrocketing since your past leaving and offered to show you some pictures of her latest designs later. Stella was now hosting a self-defense class for women due to her stalker situation and PJ was working with Stella.

As you conversed with Hazel, you realized how she had only been getting more and more attractive as the years had gone by. Her hair was still that same mullet-rocker length and her sharp features only reignited that childhood crush you had on her in middle school.

When she had told you that she was in the National Baseball League, you swear you felt your panties dampen. Very briefly did you remember her interest in the sport in high school but didn’t think much of it then.

Everyone was already either tipsy or drunk, you and Hazel included. The two of you had made your way into your kitchen to grab some more of the margarita mix. The rest of the girls were blasting songs through your speakers on the TV.

“You know, I have a game this Sunday. You should come.” Hazel tilted her head as she held the solo cup in her ring-cladded fingers, taking a sip without her eyes leaving yours.

You sensed a flirty tone in her voice, cheeks heating up as you didn’t want to read too into it. You blamed it on the amount of alcohol for both your horniness and flushed cheeks.

“Of course, I’ll be there, Haze. I wouldn’t miss it.” You reach forward to place a gentle hand on her free one, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Guys, we’re doing shots!” Isabel stumbles in between you both to interrupt your conversation, the hold on both of your hands tightening. “Welcome back, babe!”

Isabel screeched at you over the sound of the blasting music to grab onto your free arm, giggling to herself. You send Hazel a soft smile before tugging her hand in yours.

“C’mon. It’s shot time.” You bite your lip as she chugs down whatever is in her cup to set it down on your kitchen counter.

Hazel followed you and Isabel, keeping her hand in yours. Anyone in your friend group would’ve seen that and brushed it aside as you and Hazel simply being the best ‘gal pals’. They had no idea how horny you were for her at that very moment.

Everyone gathered around the living room coffee table, an assortment of different colored clear shot plastic glasses. Hazel turned to you and wrapped your arms around each other, downing each other’s shots. A new intense form of eye contact that had never been exchanged between the two of you before.

Something enticing. Something you had to explore.

You didn’t see Hazel again the rest of the week. There was this yearning in your stomach at the thought of her. You would be a lying son of a bitch too if you hadn’t gotten off to her every night since then. Something in your heart and soul told you that you needed more than anything than to just fuck her.

You knew you had to fuck her brains out.

When Josie and Isabel had picked you up from your house on the way to Hazel’s game, you got wide eyes and stares from the couple.

“What?” You huffed out a laugh as you tugged open the backseat door, sticking your head into the car.

“Nothing. You look good.” Isabel grinned, eyes looking you up and down.

Maybe you wore the least amount of clothing possible to seduce Hazel before the game. You sported a cami and a pair of shorts that matched with her team's color. Yes, it was the lowest you could ever tug down a cami and yes, you weren’t wearing a bra. Your hair was styled into two French braids tied with ribbons of her team's colors at the end to keep the weight off of your neck.

“Oh, thanks, Bel.” You return the smile, reaching into your small purse that was tossed over your shoulder and applying a small amount of gloss to your lips.

There’s an unspoken tension in the air when they begin to drive off to the stadium. The soft sound of Livin’ On A Prayer hummed through the speakers of Josie’s car, you repeatedly checking your reflection.

There was a small part of you that was a bit nervous to initiate this. You had hooked up with a few girls in college but you were never going to see them again. You tried to not overthink as Josie started up a conversation between you and Isabel.

“So, you’ve never been to one of Hazel’s games?” Josie questioned, eyes flickering to the rearview mirror.

“Nope. Is she any good?” You ask them both, raising your eyebrows.

“Oh, she’s the best pitcher on the team,” Isabel adds, motioning to nothing in particular. “You should see how many girls absolutely drool over her during the game. Since she got recruited, she has become a gay awakening for so many women across the state.”

This made sense in your head, in all honesty. You are one of those women that Hazel had made a mentally permanent imprint on.

“Oh, yeah,” Josie added, nodding her head along with her girlfriend's words. “A lot of flashing too. PJ has to be physically restrained.”

You snort at her words, not doubting that whatsoever.

“Hazel hasn’t, like, been seeing anyone, right?” You slowly question as Josie makes her way to exit the highway to the stadium.

Isabel glanced at Josie before turning her head completely to look at you from the passenger's seat.

“Not that I know of. Babe?” Isabel turned to Josie who just shrugged in response.

You nod to yourself, checking your reflection one last time. Josie was finally pulling into the stadium’s parking lot entrance, paying for the entrance fee before going into a section that was reserved for certain guests: aka you and your friends as you were Hazel’s special guests.

Walking into the stadium, you were immediately met with what Josie and Isabel were talking about. You spotted many women — with a few select men — with Callahan jerseys and tops with her number plastered onto the back.

“C’mon. We get to sit near the dugout.” Josie motioned for you to follow her and Isabel.

Their hands were locked as followed behind the pair, glancing around. It had been quite the turnout for the game. You weren’t really that much of a ‘sports’ person. It’s not that you hated sports or anything like that. You were just never able to find the excitement behind it.

You were however much of a Hazel person.

“Did you want anything to eat before we go and sit?” Isabel turned her head to ask you as they were passing the array of small shops of food.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” You nod as your eyes spot the nachos on the bright light-up menu.

So, Isabel and Josie, after you had repeatedly insisted that you could pay, bought you your nachos and a large water bottle because of the heat. You rushed after them once you three heard the crowd start to go wild. You noticed on the multitude of screens that it was the teams getting into formation.

You make sure to keep a good grip on your plastic tray as you make your way past sweat-glistened fans. Isabel had grabbed onto your free hand to make sure you were right behind her as you made your way down the stairs to the area right behind the dugout.

There sat Brittany, Stella, and PJ all in the same sort of attire. Either Hazel’s jersey or colors to match the teams with a pair of jean shorts or pants.

“Hey guys!” You shout over the blasting music, waving at everyone.

They all reply back with smiles and holding their own snacks and beverages. You lean down to each of your friends to kiss them on the cheek, muttering ‘hello’ and ‘hi’. PJ stared directly at your chest, her ‘hi’ being distracted.

“In a totally respectful and non-dehumanizing and non-sexual way, you look hot as fuck.” You hear PJ tell you as you scoot over to say ‘hi’ to Stella.

You chuckle and shake your head. “Thanks, PJ.”

“Yeah, you look so good.” Stella gasps as she reaches to touch at the ribbons in your hair. “These are so cute.”

“Thanks, Stell.” You blush at the attention before making your way to Brittany.

Her hair was up in a ponytail, sunglasses rested on her nose and an ICEE in hand. She kissed your cheek as well, patting your back with a sigh.

“Britt, you okay?” You ask, releasing Isabel’s hand.

“Yeah, I just… hate the heat.” She groans and tilts her head up to expose her glistening neck.

You frown at her words before rummaging through your purse. You pull out a mini fan with a small spritz container that you had bought ages ago. Brittany tilts her sunglasses down to look at the device in your palms and groans even louder out of relief.

“Girl, thank you. I am actually sweating bullets and it’s not even cute glowing at this point.” Brittany kisses your cheek once more before grabbing the travel-sized fan.

“You’re welcome. Don’t overuse it or it’ll die quickly.” You pat her overheating shoulder once before making your way to sit right next to Josie.

Your eyes were darting from player to player, trying to spot Hazel. There, on the pitchers’ mound, she stood with a mitt covering one hand and a baseball in the other. She had eye black sitting underneath her deep blue glare, looking straight ahead at the batter that was at home plate.

Her jaw was moving slightly and you assumed it was chewing gum. You were focused more on her sharp jawline than the actual game. You watch her change her form to get ready to pitch, raising one leg before releasing the red-stitched ball right at the batter to maneuver right into the umpire's mitt.

The crowd cheers at that alone, the girls and you included. Hazel had an incredibly strong arm and aim from what you could tell. Everyone there was obsessed with her. You kind of felt bad for the other players on the team.

You were pretty zoned out which you know was not the best thing to do but again, you weren’t interested in the sports. You wanted how Hazel’s veins were practically popping from the back of her hands, her mean stare at whatever batter from the opposing team was up next.

It shouldn’t have made you as aroused as it did.

The score had been neck in neck before Hazel hit and ran the winning home run. The stadium erupted into cheers as you watched her run into her teammates’ arms, shouting and cheering herself. You stood up and screamed along with the rest of the girls, Josie turning to you and grasping onto your hands and squeezing them.

“Hell fucking yeah!” Josie shouted, causing you to laugh but match her enthusiasm.

After you watched as both teams went underneath the bleachers to what you assume were the locker rooms. You stood up carefully, smoothing down your top and grabbing your now empty tray of nachos.

“Where are you going?” Isabel questioned as you began to walk away.

Oh right. Other people can see you.

“I’m going to throw this away and go to the bathroom. I’ll be quick.” You reassure her, smiling kindly and nodding at everyone.

They all glanced at each other before all asking if you wanted them to come with you. On any other normal day, you would’ve happily said yes but these were different circumstances.

You were trying to fuck Hazel.

“No, no, no, guys. I-I’ll be okay. Text me if you guys need anything or you’re leaving.” You tell them and wave with a big smile.

You practically ran to the ‘bathroom’, maneuvering between the crowds of people to the security that was blocking the entryway to the backstage and locker room area. The bald man held a hand out as you approached with determination, a hand on his belt with his walkie-talkie and gun holster.

“Ma’am, this is a restricted area.” He shakes his head.

“No, I know. Hazel Callahan is a close friend of mine and she asked me to see her.”

His brows furrowed as he grabbed his walkie-talkie to tune into the feed.

“Hey, Brian. You got the list for Callahan's VIP guest list?” He asked through the mini speaker.

You sigh as you wait for the ‘okay’, looking at him impatiently. Without fail, he was given your name and unhooked the barrier to let you through. You make your way down the narrow hallways, following the signs to the locker rooms.

Your eyes found the women’s sign and gradually pushed the door open. You peeked your head into the locker room, glancing around to see if you could find Hazel between the bright blue metal.

You carefully walk into the room, shutting the door behind you. You hear a shower faucet shut off, followed by feet pattering.

“Hazel? Are you decent?” You called out into the space, your voice echoing slightly.

A second passes before you hear your name followed by; “yeah. Just follow my voice.”

You eventually find her about fifteen locker rows down and god, you could cum right there and then.

“Hey Haze,” you grin as you spot her in a wife-pleaser with a pair of boxer briefs in the locker room.

Hazel had a towel around her neck, rubbing at the back of her head to try her freshly washed hair. Your mind was running wild at the sight of her nipples peeking through the thin fabric. You were leaning against the dark blue lockers just a few feet away from her.

“Oh, hey,” she copied your grin, eyes following to the entrance of the locker room right behind you. “Is it just you?”

You hum with a nod, hands clasped behind your back as you slowly approach her.

“Yeah, I, uh, said I was going to the bathroom but I just wanted to see you,” you admit carefully.

You weren’t entirely sure if her sexual feelings matched yours. You were fighting every filthy urge to grab her and kiss her until you couldn’t breathe.

“Little ol’ me?” Hazel replied as she, too, began to walk over to you with a cheeky smile.

That fucking smile that drove you insane.

“Yeah, you.” You leaned in closer to her, now nearly face-to-face with the blue-eyed beauty.

“Ah, well,” she smacked her lips, crossing her arms over her chest. “So, did you enjoy the game?”

“Yeah, you were really good, Haze. I see why your fan base is so crazy about you.” You tease as you are now resting your back against the cold lockers.

Hazel’s brows rose at the word ‘fan base’ which causes you to let out a chuckle mixed with a scoff.

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know how the majority of women here are dropping their panties and flashing the entire stadium for you.” You quip, mimicking her eyebrow raise.

Hazel looked down as she pursed her lips and she held back a smug smirk. If you held your breath, you could hear the pattering of feet coming from above from the hundreds of feet leaving the stadium.

“Would you be in that majority, honey?”

Hazel’s words take a minute to process in your head before a blush floods from the tips of your ears to the depths of your stomach. Your eyes widened slightly at her question, deciding on how you should answer.

You were now 100% sure that she wanted you too.

“Oh, sorry. You missed it but I did flash homeplate earlier.” You shrugged your shoulders but a teasing smile was left lingering on your lips.

“Oh, so, I guess you wouldn’t mind giving me a more private show,” Hazel quipped back, now centimeters from your face.

Your eyes flicker down to Hazel’s cupid's bow then back to her eyes that seemed to be drinking you in from head to toe. Growing impatient as ever, you hooked two fingers into her chain before tugging her into you. Your lips found hers with ease, her gasping at the pressure from the metal digging into the back of her neck.

Her hands greedily gripped onto your hips as you released her chain to rest your forearms onto her shoulders. You suck in a deep breath against her lips as her hands practically shoved your aching hips into the cold metal behind you.

“You know how long I’ve wanted you, pretty girl?” Hazel pulled away to whisper against your lips.

“You have me now, Haze.” Your hands brush against the hairs resting at the nape of her neck, a slight whimper in your words.

Hazel leans her head into the crook of your neck, kissing at the pulse point of your skin. You arch your back off the heavy lockers as you grip her slightly damp shoulders. Her lips suck and nibble at the skin before trailing back up to your slick lips.

“These are cute,” she cockily grins as she takes one hand from your hip to twirl her finger at the end of one of your pigtails.

You flush when she gives it a gentle tug, her smug grin growing. Did you let out a moan when she did that? You had assumed you did as Hazel muttered, ‘kinky’, before kissing you once again.

“Hey, hey, Haze?” You rushed out your words.

Hazel only hummed back placing a multitude of kisses across your flushed cheeks all the down to your heaving chest. Her hands reached underneath your top to grip your bare breasts.

“Haze, we really gotta hurry,” you heaved out as her lips were grazing right above your tits as she swiped her thumbs over your nipple.

“I hear you, honey.”

Her hands began to tug down your annoyingly sexy skirt, looking at you for confirmation as her fingers traced the waistband of your soft blue cotton panties. You nod eagerly, whimpering a desperate ‘please’.

Your skirt was now at your ankles which you stepped out of. You kicked it off to the side mindlessly as you watched Hazel dig her fingers into the waistband of your panties.

“Open your mouth for me, baby,” Hazel instructs, her free hand creeping up to your mouth.

You obey greedily and allow her middle ring finger to slip into your mouth. She groans softly as you suck at her digits, locking eyes with her seductively.

“Fuck me,” she mutters at the sight of you.

It was obscene how gorgeous you looked like this.

She suddenly removed her fingers from your mouth causing you to whimper at the loss. Her hand that had been in your mouth was now teasing through your already wet and puffy folds. You roll down onto her fingers, feeling desperate for her touch.

You both were still face to face but your gaze was nowhere on hers. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly as she teased your entrance with her middle finger, eyes focused on your reactions.

“There we go, honey.” She praised your hips rocking, kissing at your jaw.

“Fuck, Haze,” you moan softly, jerking your head back so hard that it thumped against the lockers.

You couldn’t believe how amazing her fingers were. You daydreamed and late-night wet dreamed about it but nothing could compare to the feeling of her fingers curling and hitting your g-spot repeatedly.

Your whines were growing higher in pitch as you were already reaching orgasm. You had felt like you were edging yourself all day so this very moment was extremely overwhelming. With her lips nipping at your neck and jaw and her praises filling your ears, you were bound to cum soon.

“You really are fucking perfect, baby. These hips, this pretty pussy, god.” Hazel’s free hand was gripping onto your lower jaw.

Something deep within you caused you to reach for her wrist and slide it more down onto your throat. She instantly caught on and very lightly squeezed the sides of your windpipe, watching your eyes roll before shutting completely.

“I didn't think you’d be into choking,” Hazel teased as she gave your throat one more squeeze.

“Me neither.” You pant with a loud moan when Hazel begins to pick up her pace.

Your walls clench down onto her rapid fingers, aching for a release. You were surprised no one had been coming to check on either of you but you were entirely grateful.

“Is my pretty girl gonna come for me?” Hazel whines back, almost mocking your desperation for her.

You shouldn’t have been as turned on as you were by that.

You grab at her shoulders and rut your hips down onto her fingers. The pressure was building, running up your spine to the tip of your head that was now turning into mush.

“Please, please, Haze. I wanna cum all over your fingers.” You ramble out, feeling like you weren’t in control of your mouth.

Hazel’s lips graze over your own, panting heavily into your mouth. Sweat was forming at the crevice between your hips and your thighs as you continued to chase after her fingers, begging to cum.

“That’s it. That’s it, baby,” Hazel coos as your whines grow in volume.

Your orgasm arrived quickly, pressing your lips onto hers to try and conceal how loud your moans were. Your head was so clouded with lust and post-orgasm haze that you had completely forgotten the point of this.

You wanted to make Hazel cum.

“Haze,” your hands fly to her wrist to pause her movements. She does as she’s told and removes her touch from you. “I wanna make you feel good.”

Hazel followed your command and raised a hand to trace your reddening lip. You take her fingers that were covered in your arousal, sucking them off eagerly. Your chest was heaving rapidly as you eagerly reached for her hips, eyes locking with the bench that was only a few inches from the two of you.

“Let’s switch, c'mon.” You pressed yourself off the lockers to grab at her hips.

You shove her gently against the cool metal, eyes raking up and down her frame hungrily. Your eyes never leave hers as you begin to lower yourself down onto your knees. Hazel’s chest was panting, muttering curses as your fingers hooked onto her briefs to tug them down her toned thighs.

“How much longer do you think we have?” You questioned softly, placing feather-like kisses onto the skin.

“I really couldn’t care less.” Hazel huffed with a chuckle.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be quick,” you reassure her before locking your eyes on her exposed cunt.

You dive in without any hesitation, lapping your tongue through her folds. Hazel responds by gasping softly and resting both of her palms on either side of your head. You shut your eyes as you take in this moment that you’ve wanted for so long.

“Jesus, baby,” Hazel gasps as your tongue slips into her entrance.

Your motions pick up and slow down to tease her, a cocky smile creeping onto your lips. You continued to eat her out like you were a starved woman, your hands caressing up and down from her outer thigh to her upper torso.

You sucked on her clit, eyes locked on her dropped jaw and panting figure. Hazel wasn’t as vocal as you were but her groans and soft ‘fucks’ were enough to keep your pace.

“Keep doing that, baby. I’m so— fuck!— close.”

You eagerly obeyed her words, humming softly as you felt her grip on your hair tighten. Her hips roll down onto your tongue, faint curses leaving her puffy pink lips. They begin to stutter as her orgasm flows over her body, her cum dripping onto your tongue and lips.

Yes, your jaw was aching and your knees were on fire from the porcelain tile digging into your skin but seeing Hazel cum was more than worth it.

It was beautifully erotic.

Her damp hair framed her sharp and flushed features as she arched her back off of the lockers as she came all over your tongue. You slow your tongue as she rides out her orgasm, carefully removing your lips from her pulsating core.

You rose to your feet shakily. Hazel helped as her hands found her naked waist to keep you steady. You giggle to yourself as you press your lips to hers, wrapping your arms around her neck.

“So, how was the private show?” You hum as you lean back slightly to allow her to respond.

“I think I could get used to getting some more private shows from you, pretty girl,” Hazel pressed a few pecks onto your cheeks before capturing your lips onto hers.

Boy, were you grateful for locker rooms.

tag list: @intotitties @rubygtb @dropsofs4turn @beabeebrie @maroonkisses @toritea @that-one-little-soybean @cherryflavoured7777 @vster0769

#hazel callahan #bottoms movie #hazel callahan x reader #bottoms 2023 #wlw #sapphic #hazel callahan x you #ruby cruz #hazel callahan fic #baseball player hazel

[akutcu]

PRE-EST WISHLIST :

below the cut is a compilation of potential ideas for relationships with all the current muses. It is INCOMPLETE (some of them really have almost nothing sorry ill work on it more soon) and will be updated periodically. please COMMENT / IM any numbers in particular that you are interested in. If none of these interest you, here is the normal plot call LINK.

OHTA WISHLIST :

first off always actively attempting to surround himself with skaters and gamers and artists and motorcyclists and athletes and just people with generally cool pastimes too in every situation he will rage quit and fail horribly but he just wants to be a part of the crew 

also any thugs wanna hang? he’ll be a meat shield lacky idiot errand boy it’s fine

anybody up to be pranked mercilessly for decades?

if you want to do some charity work you can teach him to love poor defenseless creatures instead of being a bully too  

 oblivious crush things i mean ohta crushing and your muse being oblivious to his crazy attention seeking behavior hey maybe even he’s oblivious to how he feels too wouldn’t surprise me but itd sure be fun to watch him trip over himself and go to the moon trying

workplace threads hiring him/him working at the same place as y/m constantly causing them trouble constant shenanigans 

also smart people maybe try tutoring him his grades need help he can’t a p p l y himself inspire him i beg you 

party threads are always a possibility and will 100% start begin and end in chaos but that’s fine 

craigslist shenanigan threads too hes always buying or trying to buy weird shit

 or maybe some soul searching detective work finding his roots or maybe making new ones y’know found families and all that stuff he’s just a little lonely 

but also on a darker note themes maybe a little attempted arson or some house robberies solo (y/ms house the target) or duos (y/m in on it)

cyberbullying just a pinch smidge  

 always supernatural Ohta threads are also always desired never before seen content

CHO WISHLIST :

friend who notices something off about her when she starts to turn- could either be a direct witness to it or the one that stops it from happening completely??

just gal pal threads let her paint your nails and shopping to buy matching scarves and shit and let her seep off your identity a little bit a small suck 

book club knitting club trade secrets gossip circles wholesome goodness pals things 

also exes is great if you wanna hop on the negative vibes train very bad vibes vibes be fucked but its fine

RUI-LIN WISHLIST : 

HELP him with the temple please he needs minions for upkeep maybe on a good day you’ll get to see some demons too??

also accepting large monetary transactions from large corporations and generous individuals the potential business benefits are bountiful but to keep this short ill say we can discuss the contracts later 

will also offer his very niche skillset for things of value if you're superstitious and unlucky he'll bless you and your house and family but you also gotta pay him up upfront

push pull oriented things are very suited to him he doesn’t think that he’s playing the game but he absolutely is both the push and pull at the same time 

if you have supernaturals please throw them at him in any and all conditions he might try to exorcise you or lock you in the basement but its fine

speaking of supernaturals somebody should feel free to discover that he is not in fact a humble temple man but a nasty gremlin

also he is accepting applications for new gods (or mortals) to worship its a fairly simple process 

rivals stretching over centuries would also be SICK any relationship from the ancient past that he can't escape from would be great though Watching each other grow and change and shit

despite how much he tries to act like a wise old man he has much to learn about modern culture please teach him he doesn’t even know how to use a rotary phone or a flip 

IRA WISHLIST : 

someone take in the old man watch your misfortune either skyrocket or seriously clear up or probably both at different times but also very funny mundane shenanigans

but if you don’t want to allow a guest i hope you’ll allow a squatter to be caught that’s also a great viable option

#i never reuploaded n added but finally #i still feel like death but were here 4 plotting n things #hopefully ill b well again soon :pensive:

[artbymintcookies]

Okay I've been massively busy with work and I'm just gonna have to trust that I'm not popular enough for y'all to care if like, creative plans fall through lmao I'm sorryyyy I get tired and pass out at 9:30 nowadays

#i work at a vaccine clinic and as more people become eligible we become busier and busier #im sorry pals you’ll just get content when you get it #but also as a person on the internet im gonna try to maintain a healthy relationship with my audience #and remember that y'all dont pay me and i dont owe you shit #also i have less than 300 followers so im just gonna... fly under the radar

[taelme]

Enemies-to-lovers!Changbin

request: Hiiiii I read you bangchan enemies to lovers au and I swear if I could like a post more than once I'd like that one a MILLION TIMES I'm wondering if maybe you could write an enemies to lovers au for changbin pretty please? 🥺🥰 genre: enemies-to-lovers!au (again, not Super extreme, low-key clash bc they’re both stubborn), film club president!Changbin, childhood penpal!au (fluff, very mild angst, they bicker a lot, kind of cheesy bc changbin’s a sap and we know that) pairing/s: Changbin / Reader (ft some skz members)  word count: 17k+ tw: mild coarse language (they say shit a lot LOL)  a/n: THE ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS...IM PRETTY SURE you waited months for this so thank you for being so so so patient!! I decided to try something a little different from my usual style but idk if it’s That Obvious, but its more structure wise I guess, but nonetheless, I'll be getting a little busier soon so I’m not sure If I'll be able to put out Full one shots for the next few months but I'll try my best w those little shorter ones maybe! (I'll have to see how Tired I am) also p.s I love this gif thank u to whoever made it but changbin is blonde in this fic bc of Personal Reasons 

To: my penpal Y/N

How are you?

I had a good day today. Sorry if the paper is crunchy I am writing this on my bed because my mom thinks I am already asleep. Today I went out with my mom and we went to the park and ate some sandwiches at the park. We had a picnic but with no juice because my sister finished everything. And then we went to the toy shop after lunch. I saw a keychain of a camera and bought it for you because you like acting and cameras can take a video of you acting.

This is a picture of me next to the wishing well at the park, you cannot see it but i’m making a peace sign. I threw a coin in the well and made a wish that your audition will be good. I know you will do very well because you practiced a lot for it. That’s all. I’m a bit tired now. Goodnight, or good morning if you are reading this in the morning. Or afternoon.

I hope i’ll be hearing from you soon, Binnie.  

“So, do you wanna keep them? If not I can chuck them together with the rest of your old things,” your mom began, already reaching over to take the letter from you.

Your eyes widened just as quickly, shaking your head quickly as you gripped the envelope and its contents behind your back away from her reach.

“No, no. Don’t throw them away,” you said sternly, softening your gaze when you noticed the way her eyebrows had raised in amusement, embarrassment washing over your features.

“I’ll keep them. Gimme the box.”

Your mom set the beaten looking converse shoebox down onto the table, shaking her head at you as a small chuckle escaped her. Mental note to transfer the letters to a smaller (and more durable) box. 

“Alright, alright,” she waved her hands at you in dismissal, “hurry up or you’ll be late for school.”

She shut the door behind her with a light thud, leaving you to stare at the grainy polaroid your childhood penpal had sent you when you both were only eight and still exchanging letters every week.

Inhaling deeply, you shoved the polaroid picture back into the envelope, slipping it into the box of envelopes before getting up. You figured that was a box you wouldn’t have the time to delve into when you were already keeping Jisung waiting.

Driving as fast as you could (or as fast as you dared to) within the speed limit, you’d reached your campus soon enough. It wasn’t that long of a drive and it would be even shorter (walking distance to be specific), when you move into your apartment nearer to campus in a few days. But that didn’t change the fact that you were running late now, spotting Jisung standing by the fountain with a sour look on his face that had only deepened once he’d spotted you.

Before an utterance of apology could leave you, Jisung had pursed his lips, stretching out his hand that held your cup of drink, a small hint of a smile playing at his lips.

“I’m starting to wonder which one of us has worse time management,” he sighed deeply, shaking his head with feigned disappointment as he glanced at his nonexistent watch on his wrist.

Jisung was one to talk, for sure. His crumpled looking shirt over baggy cargo pants and a hat to cover his head of messy hair told you his journey to school wasn’t exactly ‘leisurely’ either.

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your drink and sighing at the taste, “it’s definitely you. I was only late today ‘cause my mom was showing me my old stuff she found in the storeroom.”

Jisung waved you off, “fine, whatever,” he fished his phone out of his pocket as you started walking towards the auditorium for a class you were both dreading.

“Oh, shit, Hyunjin says the professor’s already in class, we should hurry up.”

Quickening your pace, you were glad to have reached before your professor had started, Jisung directing you towards where Hyunjin was seated at the side of the auditorium, giving him a small nod as you sat down.

Not that Hyunjin noticed anyway, the said boy busy with messaging someone on his phone with a frown on his face.

“What are you doing?”

Jisung peered over Hyunjin’s shoulder, frankly not wanting to focus on the lesson as the professor played a video on boring business things he figured he could just ask you for later.

Hyunjin sighed, setting his phone down onto the table and pushing his laptop open further, going to his email with quick clicks on his trackpad, “gotta send the scene for the auditions later to Changbin.”

“Oh, for that film thing?” Jisung asked, earning a nod from Hyunjin, whose eyebrows furrowed as they remembered your presence.

“Y/N should audition,” Hyunjin nodded his head towards you, his mention of your name distracting you momentarily, but you’d brushed it off quickly as you tried to take down whatever your professor was rambling on about.

At your lack of response, Jisung nudged your shoulder with more force, “hey, did you hear what Hyunjin said?”

You tore your gaze reluctantly from your professor as your fingers finished typing whatever you had left in your memory, the confused look on your face prompting Hyunjin to take over.

“We’re having auditions later for the movie the film club’s gonna be making,” he started, nodding slowly as his eyebrows raised, “I was saying you should join, you’d be good for the role.”

You narrowed your eyes at Hyunjin, “what’s it about?”

Jisung huffed, “some cheesy penpal shit, the last I heard.”

Your quirked an eyebrow at that, Hyunjin rolling his eyes.

“Something like that, but it’s not super romantic. They’re childhood penpals who meet again in the future but they don’t end up together, I don’t know how to explain it to you as well as Changbin can, but will you come anyway?”

You scrunch your nose as you consider his offer.

Was there anything you needed to prepare? You didn’t even know exactly what you were signing up for. Or much less anyone in the film club. Well, other than Hyunjin, of course.  

“Is there any script I'm supposed to prepare with?” you asked, making Hyunjin’s eyebrows raise, his lips parting in realisation.

“I’m pretty sure it depends on what role you want…” he trailed off, making you scoff.

Not being able to help the laugh from escaping you, you narrowed your eyes at him, “you sound like you’re not even in the club.”

Hyunjin flashed you a sweet smile, “you know what? I’ll just send you what I sent Changbin. You can just prepare with that! Penny’s role!”

Jisung snorted, his hand coming up in a poor attempt to stifle his giggles.

“Penny? Is it because...she’s a pen pal?”

You pressed your lips into a firm line, finding it awfully amusing as well.

Hyunjin frowned, scrunching his nose up in distaste, “we couldn’t think of anything better, okay?”

You huffed, lower lip jutting out in a small pensive pout. You didn’t have much going on in terms of school productions as of now, anyway, you guessed there would be no harm in showing some support for Hyunjin.

“What time are the auditions?”

“They start from lunchtime until like five,” Hyunjin tried his best to recall, looking at you with his best pleading gaze.

Sighing again, you nodded, “this is my only class for today.”

Hyunjin was practically beaming now.

“Perfect.”

===

“I don’t like it.”

Hyunjin sputtered over his sip of coffee, an incredulous expression on his face, attracting looks from the other film club members in the dance studio. Excusing himself, he’d made his way outside, oblivious to the squeals and stares the girls waiting to audition were directing towards him, settling himself in the middle of the field outside the dance studio.  

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t like it’?” he asked you again, his eyebrows furrowed as curiosity took over him.

You sighed, rolling your shoulders back as you nodded at one of your teachers you were walking past, your grip relaxing on your phone as your arm had started to get tired.

“I mean, I read through the script, and something about Penny’s character just doesn’t sit right with me,” you told him, “it just… doesn’t make sense for her to come to that conclusion when she’d been having a perfectly good time with the guy before that, you know?”

Pausing, you’d waited for him to respond, his silence prompting you to continue with your elaboration.

“Okay, I’ll put it this way,” you started, adjusting your grip on your laptop in your arm, “If I were a reader, or like, a viewer in this case, I would wanna be able to pick up on these small moments or signs that Penny is actually thinking about her relationship, do you know what I mean? Because now the way it looks is that she’s just a plot device meant to hurt him, and that there’s no exploration of the development of their relationship at all.”

Hyunjin let out a deep sigh, “Okay, I know, I know, but the thing is… this was Changbin’s idea, and I don’t know if you’ve heard—I mean, you probably have, but… nobody really questions him.”

You hummed, following Hyunjin into the school building and tugging your coat tighter around yourself, the cold air in the building shocking you as you entered.

“Yeah, I get that, but you’re forgetting that I don’t have the same relationship with this Changbin guy that you guys do. I don’t mind telling him that I have a problem with it. I don’t wanna be acting out some two-dimensional love interest character if I can help it.”

Hyunjin grimaced, not seeming to be too keen on your insistence, “I really think it might be a little late for him to change the script.”

“It’s never too late.”

“Well to Changbin it could be!” Hyunjin insisted, making you roll your eyes, a small chuckle leaving you.

You huffed, “I still think the audience deserves a better film with better crafted characters.”

Hyunjin let out a sound in between a sigh and a groan, “Okay fine, you just have to make sure you get the role, and then you’re free to argue with Changbin all you want. Deal?”

“Deal,” You turned the corner and spotted Hyunjin standing in the middle of the field, already making his way back to the dance studio.

“Okay,” he spoke before you could end the call, “I gotta go, see you later.”

You didn’t expect there to be so many people at the auditions, mostly girls and just a handful of guys. Though you seemed to piece the uneven ratio together when you saw the not-so-furtive stares the girls would cast in Hyunjin’s direction whenever he’d peek his head out from the crack in the door to call the next person in.

You recognized one of the guys who’d come in later than you, one of Jisung’s upperclassmen friends whose name was Minho.

“Didn’t think i’d see you here,” he gave you a small smile as he took a seat next to you.

Shrugging in response, you let out an awkward huff of laughter, not used to talking to him about anything other than his cats and Jisung’s whereabouts.

“Yeah… well, Hyunjin asked me to come, so I figured I might as well,” you fiddled with the slip of paper with the scene printed on it, “not like I had anything better to do, anyway.”

Minho nodded slowly, leaning closer to you and dropping his voice to a murmur, “I’ve never seen any of these girls before.”

You huffed, “I’m pretty sure most of them are here for Hyunjin.”

“Oh yeah, makes sense,” Minho hummed, a small lilt of amusement to his tone, “where is he, anyway? He told me he would be here—”

Minho’s question was answered when the girls beside the both of you had erupted into harsh whispers and murmurs, tapping each other excitedly as Hyunjin could be seen through the window panel in the door, looking on seriously as one of the girls inside the room was auditioning.

You huffed, gesturing to the window.

“Found him.”

Inside the room, Changbin was distracted.

He knew he had a certain image in his head about what he wanted ‘Penny’ to be. But whatever the girls that had auditioned so far had been showing, that dramatic ‘i never loved you!’ emotion, that wasn’t exactly it. And it didn’t help either that they struggled letting go of the dramatics when Chan would prompt them to try a different angle.

Hyunjin cast a (mildly concerned) look at Changbin, trying to gauge his expression, figuring the pointed look Changbin had sent his way was enough to say he didn’t think this girl would be shortlisted.

“Who’s next?” Chan leaned over in his seat to peek at the clipboard of names of signups, Changbin leaning back in his seat and pushing the clipboard towards him, not finding it in him to be able to be more hopeful about the next person.

“Oh, Y/N,” Chan hummed, nodding with an impressed expression on his face, the name catching Changbin’s attention, “that’s cool, didn’t think they’d audition.”

“Y/N?” Changbin echoed, something about the name awfully familiar to him, yet not being able to make the connection in his memories yet.

So for now, he’d simply gestured to Hyunjin to signal that he could send the next girl in, Chan sweetly thanking the girl that had just auditioned as she left the room.

Making your way into the room, you scanned the ‘panel’ of judges.

You recognized Chan, the said pale-faced boy looking even more tired when he’d yawned as you made your way to the centre of the room. He came to your school productions often since he and Felix were friends, and Felix was always involved in some way or another. The other boy, though, you didn’t think you’d seen before.

The two of them seemed to exude completely different auras, with Chan smiling warmly at you and gesturing for you to come closer while the other boy sat with his arms folded across his chest, frowning at you as though you were a code to decipher.

“Hey, didn’t expect to see you here,” Chan broke the silence first, giggling.

You shook your head, “honestly didn’t think i’d sign-up either.”

You pressed your lips together in a tight-lipped smile, rocking back on your heels as you glanced at the boy next to him again, “I actually only heard about it from Hyunjin this morning,” you admitted, Hyunjin flashing Chan a grin from behind you as if to say ‘you’re welcome’.

Changbin cleared his throat, making Chan perk up.

“Right, sorry. So, we’ve obviously met but this is our club’s president Changbin,” he gestured to the boy sitting next to him.

Changbin nodded curtly, bringing his hand up to run it through his bleached hair and shoving his cap back on his head with habitual movements.

Now you were starting to understand why Hyunjin was so intimidated by Changbin, always having heard stories about him but only now being able to put a face to the name.

Nodding slowly, you gave him a smile, “nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.”

Changbin had to stop himself from faltering, his breath hitching when he realised why your name was so familiar.

After all, it had been the first candidate before they’d decided to go with ‘penny’. He wondered how cruel fate was to have brought you, someone with the same name as the person he’d practically based this story on, to be auditioning for the very role.

You tried not to be offended by the way Changbin had simply nodded at you, straightening up in his seat, “and you’ll be auditioning for the role of…?”

Would it hurt him to smile?

You inhaled deeply, trying to hide your amusement as you answered him, “Penny.”

Changbin nodded, Chan humming as he looked up from his copy of the script to give you another reassuring smile.

“Alright, whenever you’re ready. I’ll be taking the lines of the male lead,” Chan told you.

You understood that the scene was some sort of scene where the two romantic leads have some sort of confrontation, and you did your best to get into what you imagined Penny would be feeling, Chan reading the line asking if ‘penny’ had even loved him at all. Dramatic was the word to describe it, really.  

You softened your gaze, unintentionally letting it rest on Changbin but deciding to let it stay there, executing your lines all the while trying to ignore the way Changbin’s stare was unnerving you, making you want to prove to him that you were a good actor even though he hadn’t questioned your acting skills.

Hyunjin had been watching the exchange closely, Changbin’s grip on his pencil loosening as he’d let the pencil fall softly against the table.

Changbin wondered if it was some sort of coincidence, because whatever ‘it’ was that he’d been looking for in Penny’s character, you’d managed to convey almost perfectly.

And it was clear that Chan had felt the same way as well, since once your audition was over, the smile on Chan’s face was nothing but beaming.

Once you’d left the room, Hyunjin telling you that they would contact you by the next morning, Chan had turned to Changbin, the same stupid smile on his face.

“That was great!” he nudged Changbin, the younger boy still recovering from the shock of the coincidence of it all, managing to muster a small huff in response.

“Yeah,” Changbin reached over to grab his water bottle, prolonging his silence as he took a long sip, “I don’t think we’d even need to see the rest.”

Chris scrunched his nose up, grinning, “but you know we still will, of course. Just in case.”

Changbin sighed, glancing at the clock, agreeing with Chan even though he knew he’d already had his mind made up.

“Yeah, just in case,” Changbin mumbled, looking out the window and seeing you talk to Minho, tearing his gaze away and rolling his shoulders back.

“Okay, send the next one in.”

===

To: Binnie

How are you?

I’m okay. I like the picture you sent me of you using your scooter. My mom says you look nice. I think so too.

Today I went to the museum and I ate an ice cream for lunch. I don’t have a picture of it but it was a Strawberry ice cream.

I just finished reading your letter. Sorry to say it using a bad word, but i think what your sister did was stupid. I think you should still tell her to ask for permission to use your scooter. But if she still does not listen, maybe you should tell her again. Because my mom always tells me that if I want something, I have to ask for it. So you should do that. Maybe she does not know you don’t like it when she plays with your scooter. Or, you could buy a new scooter. Here is some money so you can buy a scooter. I drew you $50 because that is a lot of money. I hope you have a good day when you read this.

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N.

You weren’t the world’s kindest human alive, you had your petty moments. I mean, there were so many songs and literature and movies that highlighted that idea that no human was perfect, right? But you tried your best, surely.

So, you’d gladly complied when Hyunjin asked you to grab extra cups of coffee for Chan and Changbin (as reluctant as you were. You were strapped for cash as it was).

You figured that was the least you could do before the trouble you were about to cause the both of them. But hopefully, if office etiquette was anything to go by, the simple gesture would show that you were kind, and someone who appreciated the offer given to you, as much as you hated the superficiality of your character.

However, when you showed up at the room, you were reminded that Changbin wasn’t just anyone. And while Chan made his appreciation known, Changbin… was the same as ever. Intimidating, and very hard to read. The sight of it almost made you want to take back his coffee.

He wasn’t wearing a hat today. Instead, he’d let his blonde hair (which looked darker since the last time you saw him, or maybe it was just his dyed-black undercut) fall messily over his forehead in a slight side part.

His black shirt did nothing to hide his physique, every movement of his coming across as a subtle flex, making you have to remind yourself time and time again that you weren’t exactly here to fawn over him.

He would lean back in his seat, scrolling through whatever he was looking at in his phone with one hand, his other hand draped over his stomach and propped underneath his elbow to support it. The way he would look made it seem as if he was almost oblivious to the world around him, only paying attention to what was on his phone until he would laugh at something Chan said, Chan being the only person you’ve seen that managed to elicit seemingly uncharacteristic giggles from him.

Though it wasn’t as if you were given much time to get used to it. The moment Chan had murmured something in his ear, his expression had switched back to ‘strictly business’.

Chan straightened up, looking around the room with his eyebrows slightly raised in question, one hand adjusting the braided leather bracelet around his wrist

“So, shall we get started then?” Chan asked, gesturing to Changbin before typing away at his laptop.

Changbin took his cue, getting up from his seat and making his way around the table to the front of the room, pulling the overhanging screen up to reveal the whiteboard.

“So, first of all, we’ve finalised the actors playing the characters,” he gestured towards you and Minho, “Minho as Soobin and Y/N as Penny. So, we can start shooting about next week. I would say we’re working with a pretty loose deadline because we don’t have to submit it until a few months from now.”

Changbin rolled his shoulders back, his body language seeming fairly relaxed although his expression remained serious nonetheless, “but that doesn’t mean we should slack, obviously.”

His statement elicited a small groan from Hyunjin, who muttered a ‘figures’ under his breath, making you stifle your giggles for Changbin’s sake.

“But we will start with maybe going over the script once through, go over the technical stuff after we get any issues with the flow out of the way.”

He looked as though he were going through a mental list of things to cover, his gaze flickering momentarily to Hyunjin, as if his face would give him answers to the invisible question in his head.

“The people in charge of the props, have you started preparing the letters?” Chan stepped in, earning a shake of the head from the two girls sitting next to Hyunjin, making Changbin wave a hand dismissively in their direction.

“They could start on that after we confirm the script,” Changbin leaned over the table to grab his cup of coffee, proceeding to take a long sip from it.

“Alright, let’s start then.”

Changbin took the empty seat he was standing next to, pulling his laptop closer to him to pull up the script.

Throughout the reading, you tried to keep your comments to yourself, you really did. It just fascinated you how fearful the team was of Changbin (well, aside from Chan), the way everyone seemed to bite their tongues or withhold their comments caused a permanent frown to be etched on your face.

It didn’t make it any better that Minho seemed to have no problems with the script, not even when you’d occasionally leant over to whisper to him and ask if he found that part a little weird or a little abrupt. But you held your tongue for now, (and also because of the side glance Hyunjin would cast your way whenever you would let out a small sigh),  you wanted to give Changbin the benefit of the doubt, figuring maybe if he read through his script again he’d realise how one-sided it was.

But thankfully, when you were reading out the lines where the two main characters had ended their date, and on a particularly high note for that matter, it seemed the opportunity to voice your concerns about the script was presented to you when Changbin had spoken up.

“Okay, since the next scene onwards will be where their relationship breaks down, any questions so far?” He asked, though his tone didn’t sound like he was really asking for feedback. But, hey, an opportunity as an opportunity, wasn’t it?

You cleared your throat a little too harshly, raising up your hand as you leaned against the table to be seen better, “uh, actually, me? I mean, I have some feedback actually.”

Changbin looked at you curiously, his gaze landing on you with slight surprise, as if he hadn’t expected it to be you of all people. There was a slight hesitancy evident in the way he paused before giving you a short nod, prompting you to go ahead.

You smiled, ignoring the way Hyunjin had sighed deeply a few seats away from you, dreading the chaos that could have come with people like you and Changbin bumping heads.

“Well, it’s not really specific to this scene. It’s kind of about the whole flow of the plot in general…” you fiddled with the corner of the page you were on, “but I was thinking it would be better to show more of Penny’s point of view? You know, because when I was reading it it just felt a little… weird for them to suddenly break up if everything seemed to be going fine.”

Changbin narrowed his eyes at you, looking back down at his computer with a simple dismissive shake of the head, “That’s not necessary, they’re going to break up anyway.”

The room had fallen silent, everybody seeming to have taken that as a ‘end of the conversation’ kind of line, already beginning to bring their attention to the next scene.

You frowned, unable to control your expression as you made your dismay obvious, casting a desperate look to Hyunjin who honestly looked as though he would pay you not to pursue this.

“But that’s not the point,” you spoke, getting Chan’s attention as he looked at you, silently urging you to continue, “you wanted to show their relationship, right? So, shouldn’t you show… both their parts in the relationship? Since it’s not like this is told in Soobin’s point of view.”

Changbin pursed his lips, “the point is,” he brought his cup of coffee to his lips, taking a small sip before continuing, “their relationship was superficial so it doesn’t matter.”

You mirrored his expression. The way it sounded was that he was just trying to convince himself that it didn’t matter.

Your frown deepened, quick to respond to him.

“That’s the thing, if you’re so insistent on them breaking up, why don’t you just make their relationship lead up to that? The way they’re interacting up to this scene makes viewers think they’re just going to end up together,” you tried to reason, hoping Changbin would understand where you were coming from.

Minho took that opportunity to excuse himself to the bathroom, and as you gave the rest of the film club members a once-over, you hated the way they were all looking at you as if you were cussing Changbin out instead of just giving him constructive feedback, or just voicing your thoughts for that matter.

“Well, not everyone gets a happy ending, I guess.”

He was practically avoiding your message at this point, making you grow more frustrated.

“Okay, look, what’s your intention behind making this film?” you asked, watching carefully as Changbin huffed, looking fairly amused at your insistence, which only served to irk you more.

“Simple,” he shrugged, “to show people like you that not everything that seems so perfect ends up perfect in the end.”

Your lips parted, scoffing, resisting the urge to get up from your seat as you heard Minho re-enter the room.

“People like me?” you echoed spitefully, “okay, fine, whatever. But as you said, if that’s the point of your discourse, shouldn’t your message be to tell people that they can work through things like this instead of just giving up and leaving like Penny did?”

Changbin was annoyed now. To him, you seemed too idealistic to understand his reasoning behind the story. He wondered why it had to be you that was telling him this, you were the only one that was trying to find problems with his story, that he’d based on his own life for that matter.

“Well what if she did, huh? What if Penny did just up and leave with no warning?”

You rolled your eyes, hearing Chan struggle to stifle his laugh, your exchange with Changbin being just about the most excitement he had in the whole school year.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “which is why I'm saying that your job as a storyteller is to shed some light on the reason behind that. Then your story wouldn’t be about showing how things don’t turn out the way they seem, it would just be telling you, but not showing you. You could just ask literally anybody to hurt Minho—”

“Soobin,” you heard Minho correct from beside you, making you huff, scrunching your eyes shut tightly before opening them harshly.

“—Yes, Soobin’s character, and it would be the same? The story wouldn’t show me anything other than the fact that it was Soobin’s fault he ended up that way. He didn’t question anything that happened, he just let it happen to him,” you sighed again, clenching your jaw, “Penny isn’t anything other than some 2-dimensional plot device designed as an excuse for Soobin to sulk about how cruel love is.”

Changbin scrunched his nose up, his brows knitting in annoyance as he stared at you, a silence falling again in the room. Changbin was about to interject when Chan had decided that would be a good time to step in.

“C’mon guys, let’s… calm down a little. We’re talking about penpals here, not the king’s lover betraying him.”

You cast Chan a questioning look at his example, making him shrug, continuing, “we’re running a little overtime anyway, we can just continue discussing this another time.”

Just like that, the rest of the film club members seemed eager to leave, either rushing for their next class or just not wanting to be in the same environment as an irritable Changbin.

Chan directed his gaze towards you as you were getting up from your seat, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“I’m sure Changbin will keep your points in mind, don’t worry,” he reassured you just as Changbin chimed in with a ‘no, I won’t’ behind him, leaving the room promptly afterwards, leaving you free to let out the frustrated groan you had been withholding.

“Thanks, Chan. Sorry I kind of made you guys overrun your time,” you sighed, watching Hyunjin making his way to you with wide eyes.

Chan shook his head, holding his laptop securely in one arm as he let out a burst of giggles.

“No, don’t apologize! I should be thanking you, I didn’t think about your point until you mentioned it just now,” he murmured, “but again, sorry about Changbin. He’s just a little… protective of his work.”

Hyunjin let out a low whistle from next to you, “Extremely.”

You nodded, shrugging, “It’s alright, I get it.”

Chan flashed you a smile, his hand reaching out to give your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “Thanks, again. See you around.”

Leaving the room with Hyunjin, you ignored the way he’d begun to chuckle to himself, “honestly, in this whole time i’ve been in the film club, i’ve never seen Changbin actually… argue with someone.”

You rolled your eyes, kicking at the stray pebble “well if he continues like this, you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of it.”

“You sure seemed like you were having fun, though, weren’t you?” Hyunjin was being sarcastic, knowing he was just doing this to dissuade you, his tone eliciting a scoff from you.  

You shook your head.

“You know for a fact I wasn’t. But it wouldn’t sit right with me if I just kept my mouth shut like you and the rest of your film club goons,” you shot him a pointed glare.

Hyunjin pressed his lips into a firm line, holding his hands up beside his head in surrender, prompting you to continue.

“If I want something done, I’m gonna ask for it. It’s as simple as that.”

===

To: my penpal Y/N

How are you?

Was your audition good? Thank you for the money. But $50 is a lot of money so I don’t think I should spend everything, my mom says I need to save money. Thank you for telling me what I should do, but in the end I didn’t buy another scooter. I did this because we were learning about needs vs wants in school and I think the scooter is a want. My teacher says this means I don’t really need it. But needs are things like colour pencils and pens and paper so I can write letters to send you. Maybe your mom tells you you cannot buy so many stickers because the stickers are a want and not a need.

Anyway, I think I can just let my sister take my scooter. Maybe I will just get another scooter for myself when I am older and I have more money.

I hope I will be hearing from you soon, Binnie.

As you said before, you weren’t perfect, but you surely did your best. But days like this you wondered if people like Changbin even tried.

After your interaction with said stubborn being during your meeting with the film club had put you in a bad mood, you were currently seated with Jisung in a booth at a popular burger outlet outside school, thankfully having managed to get a place in the midst of the anxious afternoon crowd. And even more thankful that you could eat your lunch in peace where you were very much away from Changbin.

“What did you say to him, again?” Jisung hadn’t bothered trying to hold in his laughter as he was almost shouting over the noise of the crowd, making you huff as you bit into your burger.

“I said it’s funny that he was talking so much shit about the main couple when he’s dedicating his entire movie to them,” you drawled, your annoyance returning as you recounted the spat you had with him during the small meeting you had with the film club just before lunch.

Jisung’s shoulders shook as he laughed, fumbling with his drink as his eyes shut tightly, giggles leaving him and seeming as though they would never end, “and that’s what you said word for word?”

You nodded, reaching over to press the lid of Jisung’s drink down firmer before he could spill it all over himself.

“I know you’re friends with him but I really don’t know how you work with this guy, he’s as stubborn as stubborn goes,” you huffed, taking another bite into your burger as Jisung’s laughter had died down, though his smile had only lingered.

“You’re worse,” he snickered, earning a glare from you.

Jisung remained unaffected, “Look, he’s honestly fine once you get to know him,” he tried to reason, sounding as though he were trying to convince a child to make friends, “I mean, we’re all still kind of wary around him when he’s in a mood but honestly, if not for the way you guys met, I’m pretty sure you two would get along well. He seems like he’s your type.”

Your eyes widened, scandalised at Jisung’s implication.  

“The only thing he has in common with my exes is being annoying, okay?” you rushed to push away the curiosity of what Changbin would be like as a boyfriend. Curse Jisung and his stupid implication.

“And plus,” you continued, hearing the doorbell chime for what sounded like the thousandth time to signal yet another entry into the diner that was now overflowing with people asking for take-out, “it’s not like he’s been very nice to me since I got involved with his stupid short film.”

Jisung sighed, his gaze momentarily distracted by something behind you, making you wave your hand in front of his face to keep his attention. He’d glanced back at you, an almost dazed look in his eyes before he’d given you a small smile, taking a bite out of his burger and not waiting to finish chewing before he answered you.

“I honestly think that he just needs a little more persuasion. Like, take this for example, something similar happened with him and Chan when they were composing something in the past, and trust me, if you don’t give up now, i’m pretty sure he’d agree to come to a compromise or something,” he gave you a shrug, his gaze returning to whatever was behind you (probably someone cute, you figured). You couldn’t say you blamed him; almost all your conversations revolved around you and Changbin’s squabbles these days.

You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes at him, “you really think he’d be willing to rewrite his script?”

Your tone was skeptical, already imagining how Changbin would simply tell you to keep dreaming if you’d brought up the proposal to him.

At Jisung’s lack of response, you’d frowned slightly, seeing him turn back to you calmly as his smile widened, giving you yet another shrug.

“Maybe you can ask him yourself.”

If there was any feeling one would get just before something bad was about to happen, that was definitely what you were feeling now.

You didn’t dare to tear your gaze away from Jisung as you watched him turn his body, his hand coming up in a wave that had only turned into a hi-five, his behaviour only adequately described as boisterous as he welcomed the people you were hoping you wouldn’t have to see for another week until the next film club meeting.

Well, Chan was fine, you were simply referring to Changbin.

“Oh, hey, Y/N! Didn’t know you and Jisung were friends,” Chan gave you a sweet smile, gesturing between you and Jisung as he spoke.

Jisung chimed in with a nonchalant “Best friends, actually,” which had only made you shoot him a glare.

“Might have to re-evaluate that,” you muttered, turning back to Chan and Changbin to give them as warm a smile as you could muster.

“Are you guys eating here too?” you asked.

You were oblivious to the way Changbin’s gaze flickered from your face to the food in your hand, and then back to Jisung, looking perfectly unaffected as he joked with Jisung about something you didn’t quite catch.

“Well, we wanted to, but, you know, with the crowd and all we probably won’t be able to get a seat,” Chan’s gaze was pitiful, to say the least, making Jisung raise his eyebrows, and that sinking feeling within you had only intensified as his next sentence left his lips.

Jisung had barely glanced at you as he held onto Changbin’s hand.

“Well, our booth’s actually meant to seat four people, so you guys could squeeze in if you want,” he offered.

Changbin quirked his eyebrow, skepticism written all over his features, though mostly directed towards you, “you guys really won’t mind?”

You glared at your burger, scrunching your nose up as you avoided Changbin’s pointed gaze.

Jisung scoffed, giving Changbin a loud smack on the arm, “of course we won’t, right Y/N?”

He turned to you, giving you a smile you could only describe to be devious (and fairly amused).

“Yeah,” your voice took a pitch higher unintentionally, “go ahead,” you murmured, scooting into the booth to make space for them.

You took another bite from your burger, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin took a seat next to Jisung, Chan excusing himself to retrieve both their orders.

“Funny that you showed up, actually. Y/N and I were just talking about your short film,” Jisung spoke, earning a pointed glare for you, as if daring him to continue (and you should’ve known that wasn’t going to faze him at all).

“Oh, were you?” Changbin drawled, his eyebrows raised and a slight smile playing at his lips, “I’m sure Y/N had a lot to say about that.”

As you were about to speak, Jisung had interjected with a little giggle, “she did.”

Changbin didn’t seem to take Jisung’s comment as an answer, simply keeping his gaze fixed on you, prompting you to produce an answer of your own. You ignored the knowing look Jisung gave you.

You sighed, “maybe I wouldn’t, if someone just took my suggestions.”

Changbin had let out a small huff at that, leaning back in his seat with his arms folded over his chest as Chan returned to the table with his and Changbin’s food, casting curious glances between the three of you seated at the table.

“Hope you guys didn’t fight while I was gone,” he joked, making you sigh, and you missed the pointed look he cast Changbin’s way when the boy had scoffed, “what were you guys talking about before I came?”

You shrugged.

“We were talking about the short film,” you told him, “kind of.”

Chan had perked up at that, turning to you as he handed Changbin his food, “oh yeah, I wanted to ask if you had more feedback about the scenes.”

You nodded, “I do, actually.”

Changbin’s gaze lifted from his burger to look at you as he sighed, “what is it now?”

You huffed, “It’s not that bad. I was just wondering if the content of the letters were gonna be read out during the scene? ‘Cause if it is, then maybe we could kind of make it a little more relevant to their personalities or something.”

“Will that be hard? What do kids even talk about in their letters?” Jisung laughed.

Changbin’s lips parted slightly before pressing them into a firm line.

“Well, they’ll be like 9 when they’re exchanging letters, I suppose, so I guess they’d at least know how to have a conversation… ” He sounded almost hesitant, making you wonder why he made talking about childhood penpals seem like such a complex thing.

You thought about your own penpal, Binnie. You were about that age when you were exchanging letters with him too, figuring you could give some insight on that until Jisung had intercepted.

“At that age all I did was talk about hot wheels, to be honest. Much less talk to girls,” he snorted, making you scoff, using your shoe to nudge his leg under the table.

Chan, who had been silently thinking, had straightened up abruptly.

“Wait,” Chan’s eyebrows lowered, frowning slightly as his lower lip jut out in a slight pout. He directed his attention to Changbin, pointing his index finger towards him, “didn’t you used to have a penpal?”

You had to stop yourself from making your shock too obvious, your eyes widening as your gaze became nothing but accusatory. How badly did his penpal experience go for him to be so cynical about it now?

Whatever it was, the newfound information made you curious as to exactly how much of the story he’d changed, more importantly, how much he’d retained.

“You?” you couldn’t help yourself from blurting, though Changbin remained unamused.

“Yeah, I did,” he bypassed your incredulous stare, answering Chan simply.

Jisung hummed, bringing one hand up to fiddle with his ear piercing, not having expected Changbin’s response.

“Oh, well, what was it like, then?”

Changbin shrugged, resting one of his forearms on the table to support himself, his other hand reaching down to pick up a fry, “was nice. We would exchange letters every week. Talked about a lot of things, sent each other pictures, you know, all that stuff.”

“Do you still keep in contact with them?” Chan asked, genuine curiosity in his voice, not having heard much from Changbin about this penpal in the entire duration of their friendship.

Changbin shook his head, “nope,” he popped the p, picking up his cup to swirl it around noisily, the ice rumbling as it got tossed around in the paper cup, proceeding to take a sip from it as the rest of you looked on curiously at him.

“Well, why not?” you dared to ask, a million different possible reasons running through your mind.

Maybe they did something to piss Changbin off, or maybe they got into a big fight (which also made you wonder how heated fights could get over snail mail), or maybe one of their parents disapproved of the other. The possibilities were endless as you anticipated just why 8 year old Changbin would’ve cut ties with his penpal. And maybe, you were enjoying the dramatic aspect of it a little more than you should’ve been.

But something about the way he replied felt restrained. Maybe you were reading into it too much, but he almost sounded evasive. But, of course, you chose to ignore (suppress) it for now, watching intently as Changbin had once again shrugged, an air of nonchalance to his gestures as he met your gaze.

“Just… grew out of it, I guess.”

You huffed, memories of your own penpal making his response sting.

You don’t think you ever ‘grew out’ of talking to binnie. You remembered how frustrated you were when you’d stopped hearing from him after he moved, and every letter you’d sent to his new address had only been returned back to you. Maybe he grew out of it, but you wouldn’t have left it like that if you had a choice.

You rolled your eyes at his response, something in your response seeming to have irked Changbin.

“What?” he snapped, making you hesitate just the slightest bit, deciding to bite your tongue and shake your head.

“Nothing.”  

Chan let out a huff of laughter through his nose next to you, shaking his head at you goodnaturedly.

“Forgive us, you always seem like you have something more to say,” Chan spoke, apparent ‘damage control’ for Changbin’s abrasiveness.

“Wait, so, you’re really not gonna have a happy ending?” Jisung frowned.

“Well, Changbin and I were talking about it after the meeting that day, we figured since we have time we could afford to change the script a little,” he hummed, turning to you, “you know, since it could be a chance to kind of send a more hopeful message like you were talking about.”

Your eyes widened, your hand almost reaching out to touch Chan’s arm but realising you were still holding your burger, “really? You’re open to changing it?”

Changbin’s gaze flickered momentarily to you, observing your posture, noticing how open and comfortable you seemed with Chan, the sight alone enough to make him scoff. Call him a cynic, but he couldn’t tell if this was you acting or not just to get your way.

“There could be another meeting for you to discuss and work on the script together, but yeah, we’re alright with changing it.”

You turned to Changbin, a hint of distrust in your stare, making him huff again, putting down his drink on the table with a little too much force.

“He said it, not me,” he told you, pressing his lips firmly into a tight line, “you wanna change my script so badly? Fine. But your ideas better be worth changing it for.”

Jisung scrunched up his nose as you turned back to Chan, not wishing to look at Changbin’s face any longer, leaning over to whisper to Changbin, “you two don’t like each other very much, do you?”

If he was caught off guard by Jisung’s statement, he didn’t show it.

Changbin shrugged, picking his drink back up, “they started it.”

At the sound of his accusation, your eyes narrowed, turning to glare at Changbin, thankful for Jisung nudging you under the table before you could retaliate with a comment of your own. Chan simply casting you an amused look, his eyebrows raised in a silent question of what you were about to do.

You shook your head.

Whatever, you pushed your annoyance away in your head, as long as Chan was there during the rewrite meeting, you’d hopefully still be able to maintain your sanity.

Or at least, that was the hope that you were holding on to until that night when you’d gotten a text from Chan.

Chan 11:17pm - hey, i gave changbin your number if you don't mind... you know, since you guys have to discuss to rewrite the script and all -

You’d almost sat up from your bed in shock, frowning against the harsh light coming from your phone and the contents of the text, the latter obviously making you more disgruntled.

11:17pm - won’t you be discussing with us?? Why not just make a group chat??? -

Your heart was pumping with anxiousness as you awaited his reply, something about the sound of the clock ticking putting you in an even more anxious state, your heart almost sinking as texts from him and Changbin had come in at the same time.

You looked at Chan’s first.

Chan 11:18pm - oh i didn’t tell you? All script writing is done by Changbin. I’m just in charge of the other elements like props and directing and whatnot -

You shut your eyes, suddenly wishing you could travel back a few seconds back in time and not have checked your phone when Chan had texted you. Bringing your fingers across your screen reluctantly as you typed a reply to him.

11:18pm - ohhh hahaha right i forgot, thanks chan -

Now for the bigger menace at hand. You swiped over to Changbin’s message, your finger lingering on his chat as you decided to stop being petty and just open it.

seo changbin 11:18pm - just so you know, i’m doing this only because Chan asked me to. we can go over the changes at my house. is saturday okay with you? -

You pulled your notifications bar down. Tomorrow was Friday, and from what you knew you were pretty much free on Saturday. Fortunately or unfortunately for you.

You took another deep breath as you typed out your reply to him. For your own sanity, you tried to ignore the way he felt the need to clarify that he wasn’t doing it for your sake.

11:18pm - saturday’s fine. What time?-

Resisting the urge to go offline when you saw him come online, you felt as though you were in some sort of staring contest through your phone as you watched him type, his message coming in quickly.

seo changbin 11:18pm -1? We could order in and discuss -

You sighed, it wasn’t enough that he had to take away one peaceful lunch from you today, but yet another one on Saturday.

11:19pm -okay text me your address-

Another sigh left you when you read that the address he’d sent you was just a few blocks away from your apartment. Maybe he lived alone too; most of the apartments here were occupied by college students looking for affordable rent and shorter travel time.

seo changbin 11:19pm - don't be late -

You scoffed, shoving your phone back onto your bedside table as you slumped back against your pillow, burying your head into your pillow and kicking at your blanket that covered your feet uncomfortably.

Fine, if he wanted to be that way, that was fine by you. You would just do this for the sake of the short film. Yeah. That’s all it would be.

===

“Let’s make this quick and painless for the both of us,” you blurted the moment Changbin had opened his door to let you in, glad to see he was donning an outfit similar to yours (sweatpants and a t-shirt), your previous worries of being underdressed dissipating instantly.

He let out a sigh, his hand coming up to run it through his hair, his hair messy and sticking up at one place awkwardly, looking as though he’d slept on that side for too long.

“Hello to you too,” he grumbled, shutting the door behind you as he gestured to the living room.

You glanced around his rather plain apartment as he led you to the living room, his laptop resting on one of the cushions of the sofa, soft music verberating from the device.

“What food do you want?” he asked, earning a thoughtful frown from you as you set your things down on the floor next to the sofa, taking a seat on the other side of it.

“Fastest delivery would be if we order from that Chinese food place nearby, right?”

Changbin’s eyebrows quirked up in intrigue, “I was thinking of that place too,” he handed you his phone, letting you order what you wanted before handing it back to him.

It was otherwise silent between the both of you as you waited for the food to arrive, neither of you quite knowing how to break the silence. The tension slowly made you grow increasingly fidgety as time passed.

Changbin had sat down on the floor next to the coffee table, resting one hand on his soft rug as he pushed a stack of papers towards you, drawing your attention away from your soft copy of the script on your phone as you realised it was a hard copy of the script.

“Just use this, i’ve got a copy on my laptop,” he mumbled, making you nod, accepting it from him as you flipped to where you left off.

Changbin glanced at the clock, in disbelief that only 10 minutes had passed and yet he found himself feeling jittery at your silence. Turning his gaze towards you, he let out a small sigh.

He had expected you to say something by now, or let out some snarky comment about something he wrote. Your silence was unnerving him, it was almost as if he wanted you to say something, especially with the way you were scribbling notes beside the pages with a mechanical pencil he didn’t even recall seeing you take out.

“Which scene are you at?” he blurted, his anxiousness getting the better of him, making your head shoot up abruptly, surprised at his sudden outburst.

“Uh,” you glanced back down at the page, “I’m at the part where they find out they used to be penpals,” you told him.

“Okay,” Changbin murmured, thinking about where to go from there, momentarily distracted when he’d heard the doorbell ring. Pausing, he’d stepped out momentarily to retrieve your food, the rustling of bags getting louder as he neared the table.

Setting the food down on the table, surprising you when he’d pushed the food towards you, your surprise hadn’t gone unnoticed by Changbin.

“What?” he scoffed.

You shrugged, “nothing, just didn’t know you were capable of doing nice things,” you told him, a sarcastic lilt to your tone.

Changbin inhaled deeply, shooting you a patronizing smile as he broke his chopsticks, “anyway, I think we could start from there, since that’s kind of the turning point of their relationship.”

You nodded, pulling your food towards you as you began to eat.

“I was thinking,” you spoke, pausing to chew on your food, “this part has a lot of unanswered questions, like… I wouldn’t just let it go so easily if I found out someone was my penpal that I grew apart from. I felt like they should’ve had a bit more of a confrontation there.”

Changbin hummed, shocking you when he’d leant closer to you to look at the script, making you push it towards him, a small huff leaving him at your action.

“What questions do you think Penny would ask, then?” he asked you.

“I don’t know, maybe why they stopped talking in the first place?” there was a hint of sarcasm in your tone, making Changbin look at you over his mouthful of noodles.

“I told you already, Soobin grew out of it—”

You grimaced at his answer, your chopsticks halting before your mouth momentarily before you shovelled your noodles in with annoyance, “I don’t believe that.”

“I used to have a penpal, and I can guarantee you, the reason why we stopped talking wasn’t because we ‘grew out of it’,” you told him pointedly, having to stop yourself from growing too riled up about it, Changbin tensing up at your revelation.

Bringing his glass of water to his lips, he let his gaze wander around everything but you as he thought, curious as to what your penpal experience was like. Finally meeting your gaze, he almost sputtered over his water with how much he wasn’t paying attention to his actions, the only thing on his mind being to get his words out.

“You did?” It was pathetic, really, that that was all he’d come up with after such a long pause.

You nodded.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, the story isn’t based on my penpal, it’s based on yours,” you attempted to draw the attention away from you, unsettling feelings of sourness building within you at the thought of how you left things.

“So, think. What would you be curious about?” you prompted him, seeing him purse his lips, a certain dazed look tinting his gaze.

Swallowing his mouthful of food, he looked at you as he thought. He would want to know if they were still passionate about acting, he would want to know how their family was doing, he would want to know if their personality had changed, if they were still the assertive ‘go after what you want’ character that had encouraged him so much. Or maybe, just how they are.

Changbin’s lips parted, shaking his head slowly, “... so many things,” he murmured.

An unexpected tension fell between the both of you, Changbin’s eyes meeting yours with a sort of unspeakable thoughtfulness, as if he was still thinking about your question.

You broke eye contact first, “write that, then. Who knows? Maybe they’re both as curious as the other.”

“You’re one of those glass half full people, aren’t you?” he huffed, making you click your tongue in annoyance.

“And what? You have no glass at all?” you retorted.

“Would you still be… curious too? Even If it didn’t end well?” he asked suddenly, a stupid question, Changbin thought, but still something he felt compelled to ask in the moment, as if he wanted the confirmation that you, someone with a penpal experience as well had shared the same sentiments as him.

You nodded, “of course I’d be. I could hate you and still be curious about you,” you shrugged.

“Me?” Changbin asked, making your eyes widen, the tension dissipating slightly as you shook your head vigorously, your hands coming up to wave at him dismissively.

“No no, not you. I meant-” you stopped yourself, glaring at him, “I just meant it as an example.”

And for what you were sure was the first time, Changbin had laughed, beginning to feel a bit more comfortable around you, his eyes forming narrow slits and the apples of his cheeks rounding slightly as he grinned, soft breathy giggles leaving him.

“Alright, I get it. It’s not a secret that you don’t like me.”

You huffed, not being able to help but feel the need to reassure him, “you’re not… that bad I guess. Jisung talks you up all the time.” you said, unsure why you felt the need to reassure him that you didn’t have a burning hatred for him, “you’re just stubborn as hell.”

He scoffed, “I could say the same about you.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him, reaching over to flip the page, “glad to know we’re on the same page, then.”

“Now that you said it,” Changbin began, moving on quickly from your bickering as he shoved his empty food packaging aside, “I do think Soobin would be curious about the things they talked about in their letters.”

You perked up at that, eyebrows raising, “That reminded me, I actually still have some of the letters from my penpal when we were younger, if you want I can loan them to you for some inspiration or something.”

Changbin nodded, flipping over to another page before pausing to type something on his computer, “yeah, actually that would be useful.”

You continued to look at the script for what had become hours, the both of you deciding it would be easier if you each assumed one of the character’s voices, speaking on behalf of the characters as you discussed. Coming up with a ‘what would soobin/penny do?’ process.

All the while during this discussion, Changbin had been scribbling down in his beaten up journal, the sides of the spine of the book peeling off when he’d set it down on the table, making you grimace.

“Do you think Pe—”

“Why don’t you just get a new journal? This one’s making such a mess,” you blurted out, frowning at the way the little brittle pieces of God knows what material covered his notebook had fallen onto the coffee table, making him tear his gaze away from what he was writing, looking at the mess on the coffee table you were gesturing at and letting out an amused huff.

“Oh, didn’t notice,” he smiled, “but that won’t be necessary, this journal’s been serving me fine.”

“It’s literally falling apart,” you pointed out.

“And you’re literally exaggerating.”

You scoffed.

“I mean, look at it, it’s such a hassle to use, since you have to keep cleaning up whenever you do so much as touch it,” you reasoned, seeing him shake his head.

“I don’t need a new journal, I’m perfectly fine using this one,” he told you, making you scrunch your nose up in distaste, Changbin looking at you with amusement heavily laden in his smile.

It seemed that there was something about the hours of bouncing off ideas and bickering that warmed the both of you up more, not feeling as wound up or hostile towards each other as you did a few hours ago, bonding over a shared want for the short film to be good.

“What?” he asked, leaning back against the sofa and resting his arm on one of the cushions, his other hand grasping his fingers as he awaited your response.

“You sound exactly like my mom,” you had a sour look on your face, continuing, “I bet you’re one of those needs versus wants people.” You huffed in amusement, shifting in your seat as you flipped through the scene you were about to discuss.

Changbin’s lips parted in shock, a breathy huff leaving him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?”

You shrugged, “You know, those people that decide on buying things through the concept of needing it or not.”

Changbin rolled his eyes, “yeah, like any other normal person.”

“It’s so boring! Ever heard of the concept of treating yourself?” you huffed, gesturing wildly. You were clearly very passionate about this.

Changbin shook his head, the smile lingering on his face, “I’m starting to understand why you’re Jisung’s friend. Sure, a treat once in a while is understandable, but i’d rather not waste my money on things I could do without.”

You huffed, a deep sigh leaving you, recalling a conversation you had with Binnie about his scooter.

“What’s up with boys and this need versus want thing? My penpal said the same thing even though he was only eight,” you mumbled, a small breath of laughter leaving your lips, leaving Changbin frowning at your statement.

Maybe other kids just talked about the same things he did with Y/N? He brushed the thought aside.

“He did?”

Changbin’s voice came out more hoarse than he’d intended, the intent in his stare making you falter momentarily, forgetting what you were doing just for a second.

Thankfully, you’d snapped out of whatever trance you were in, shaking your head dismissively, “nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

Changbin tilted his head at you, narrowing his eyes as he contemplated whether to pursue it or not, watching closely as you busied yourself with flipping pages just to look busy, even though the inside of your mind was spinning with an indescribable feeling that came with convincing yourself that the drift between you and your penpal was merely circumstantial.

You chewed on your lip, hating the way it felt as though your stomach was churning as you remembered the disappointment you felt when your letters had stopped getting sent through.

You were young, surely you shouldn’t blame yourself, you believed that. Your finger fiddled with the corner of the page, staring at Soobin’s dialogue.

‘Did our conversations even mean anything to you?’ the dialogue read, and you inhaled deeply as your head lifted to look at Changbin, your abrupt movement almost making him flinch in surprise.

“Why did you really stop talking to your penpal?” you sighed, curiosity getting the better of you. Though at this point you weren’t sure if it was curiosity or simply reassurance. Maybe even closure. All of which you needed to satisfy.

Changbin knew you weren’t going to accept his ‘grew out of it’ statement for an answer, deciding to be honest with you, you know, for the sake of the short film.

“I just… stopped hearing from them,” he began, heaving a sigh of his own as he shifted in his seat, picking at the imaginary dust on his sweatpants, “guess they had nothing to say.”

You couldn’t lie about it, you felt relieved. A part of you began to understand why he’d painted Penny’s character out to be like that, or furthermore why Soobin had seemed so affected by the revelation.

“Nothing to say…” you echoed, as if trying to wrap your head around his reasoning as well.

A small huff of amusement left him, though there was a hint of bitterness in his smile.

“I wouldn’t have minded, you know.”

He took his lower lip between his teeth, letting it go and you watched as the blood rushed back into his lips, looking redder than before.

Your eyebrows knit into a frown, “Wouldn’t have minded what?”

Changbin met your gaze, giving you a resigned shrug, “hearing it,” he continued, “nothing, everything.”

You could almost feel your heartbeat slowing down, the tense silence returning in the room and making you feel like you couldn’t breathe. Now that was some dialogue.

“Oh,” you broke the silence, your blank expression reading pure shock, your reaction catching Changbin off guard, “write that down, that’s such a Soobin thing to say.”

Changbin couldn’t do anything but laugh, shaking his head at you, “how opportunistic of you,” he teased, though he wrote it down nonetheless.

Maybe you being here was good, Changbin thought, it reminded him not to take himself too seriously sometimes.

===

To: Binnie

How are you?

I hope you are not still sad about your friends. I would tell you not to listen to them but i know that’s difficult sometimes because you can hear everything they say. But they were being very mean so they are not nice people. I don’t agree with what they said, because i think you are very nice and you have a nice smile. I don’t think you are scary. Sometimes my mom tells me i should smile more so people think i’m happy but I think you should just smile if you are happy. If you are sad then you can be sad. It is not a bad thing. I’m your friend because you’re nice to me and I like talking to you. If they’re going to be mean to you then they’re not your friends. If they do that to you again you can tell me their address and I will go and tell them myself!

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N

You’d shown up on the filming set on the first day absolutely buzzing from head to toe and ready to go (though, when you told Jisung about how you felt he’d insisted it was because of the lack of substantial sleep and the cans of energy drink you’d both drank the night before while he was helping you prepare your lines), but it seemed that everyone on the set was more tense than ever.

You found Hyunjin huddled with a few of them next to the sound cart, deciding to approach them to ask where Changbin was, having bought a coffee for him along the way.

“Hey,” you called, Hyunjin jumping in shock as he turned, his hand over his heart as he winced at you.

“Why do you move so quietly!” he groaned, making you dismiss him with a wave. 

“Did something happen? You guys look stressed,” you took a step towards them, possible reasons fluttering around in your mind but none seeming quite appropriate for the context you were in. Maybe the semester’s GPA results were out?

“Whatever, do you guys know where I can find Changbin?” The boy next to Hyunjin, a freshman by the name of Jeongin had sucked in a sharp breath at your question, making you grow even more confused.

“He’s… a little tense these days, so I’d suggest being a more careful around him,” Chan explained, earning nods of agreement from the film club members.

Your eyebrows raised, confusion showing in a slight pout on your lips. You didn’t remember him behaving out of the ordinary when you’d seen him the day before.

“Where’d he go?”

“He’s over there,” Chan pointed towards where the camera was set up and true enough, you saw Changbin seated at a bench there busying himself with his phone.

Nodding, you’d made your way over to Changbin, discomfort growing within you at the stares you were getting from the club members (some of which you didn’t even know the names of) as you made your way towards the blonde haired boy. It was a wonder why they all avoided him like the plague.

Changbin seemed to have sensed your presence, looking up from his phone and giving you a small wave as you reached the bench, sitting down next to him and holding out his cup of coffee.

Accepting it gratefully, he’d given you a nod.

“Thanks,” he glanced at your hands, “you didn’t get one for yourself?”

You let out a small burst of chuckles, “nope, figured it wasn’t the most logical thing to do since i’m already pretty alert from last night’s energy drinks.”

Changbin sucked in a sharp breath, clicking his tongue in teasing disapproval, “I figured as much, Jisung was way too hyper when I met him at the studio.”

Your expression was sheepish, “I’d say I was sorry but it was... important.”

Changbin huffed, “It’s alright, as long as you’re taking care of yourself.”

Before you could react to his statement, Changbin had acted as though he hadn’t said anything, an amused smile playing at his lips as he tore his gaze away from you, looking forward as he took a sip from his cup, “ready to film today?”

You nodded, regaining your bearings, trying not to think too much of his words.

“Pretty much, you?”

Changbin nodded, “yeah, even though we still have a little bit of the script left, I would say i’m pretty confident.”

You glanced behind Changbin, spotting Hyunjin looking at the both of you with sheer disbelief, making you roll your eyes, turning back to Changbin, angling your body on the bench so you could hug your knees to your chest, looking at him curiously.

“Are you feeling okay?”

He nodded, looking at you with confusion written in his features, clasping his hands around his coffee cup as he rested his hands on his lap, “yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”  

Maybe it was just his resting bitch face.

“Smile,” you commanded, nodding your head when he’d looked even more confused.

You watched in amusement as Changbin had laughed, shaking his head before looking at you with an all too sarcastic smile, his hand coming up in a peace sign next to his cheek, a smile unknowingly making its way onto your face at the sight.

“Okay now, don’t smile,” you continued.

Changbin had let his smile fall, looking just the same as he did when you’d shown up, making you press your lips into a firm line, a slight knit in your brows as your eyes narrowed.

Turning his head, he straightened up.

“Cool, Minho’s here,” he said, getting up and holding a hand out to help you up.

“Thanks,” you muttered, not expecting him to turn around and give you a smile.

“Let’s go, Penny.”

It was strange to you that there was something that felt so familiar about his smile, it reminded you of something that made you feel nostalgic. You liked seeing him smile. Changbin had a nice smile.

You brushed the thought away, nodding as you took his hand, letting him help you out.

“What, so you guys don’t hate each other anymore?” Jisung groaned later on that same week when you’d told him about the exchange you had.

He lifted his head from where he lay on your bed, “God, with you guys it’s like everyday’s something different.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement, “well… that’s because it is, isn’t it?”

You spotted the box of letters from your childhood penpal hidden beneath a stack of novels you had yet to unpack, your eyes glistening with triumph as you reached into your storage closet, fishing it out with a grunt.

“Come to think of it, Changbin hasn’t said anything about you since that day you met him to rewrite the script,” he murmured thoughtfully.

Heaving a sigh as you got up from your squat, you closed your closet, “which day? We met up a few times for the script.”

Jisung perked up at that, sitting up slightly and supporting his weight with his elbows.

“You did? Why am I only finding out about this now?” he scoffed.

You rolled your eyes, walking over to your desk to set the box onto it, “I told you about it, you just forgot.”

Making your way over to the bed, you flopped down onto your belly next to Jisung, looking at him curiously as he frowned at you. His mention of Changbin had made you curious.

“He… really hasn’t said anything about me?” you dared to ask, regretting it almost immediately when Jisung had taken the opportunity to twist your words.

Jisung’s expression had changed to one that you were all too used to, how his eyes would give away that he was thinking of saying something to tease you, his lips curving into a slight smirk.

“Why? Do you want him to be talking about you?”

You wrinkled your nose, a small panicked scoff leaving you, “yeah, right. Don’t get too carried away there.”

Jisung prodded further, leaning closer to you as he drawled, “well, why not? I mean, you said it yourself, you guys are on pretty good terms now, aren’t you?”

You purse your lips. The film club had been nice enough to give you a month longer to work on the script, you and Changbin ending up getting carried away and doing the whole thing over. And of course, within that month, you interacted with Changbin in some way or another almost everyday.

It could be meetings at his or your apartment, or spontaneous phone calls when one of you thought of an idea and you’d felt inspired to discuss it (even if you were on your bed tucked into your sheets when it happened most of the time), sometimes it was even just simple texts checking up on each other and asking what the other thought about the updates.

Nonetheless, you’d grown used to Changbin’s presence, finding that after that meeting at his house, it was like it had softened the both of you up to each other, especially when you realised your perception of Changbin was all wrong and that really, he was as soft as softies go.

You gave Jisung a shrug, tugging the neckline of your shirt down, feeling as though the room had gotten hotter, “I mean, yeah, I guess. He doesn’t annoy me as much as he used to.”

Jisung let out a chuckle, the laugh bubbling out louder as he continued.

“You know if you tell me you like him now,  I won’t make fun of you.”

“You’re lying.”

“So, you do like him?” His grin widened, making you sputter for a better response, figuring you’d dug your own grave with that one.

“Don’t stir shit,” you narrowed your eyes at him.

Your reaction had only tickled him even more, clutching his belly as he sighed, “I knew it. Remember? I told you he was your type!” his tone was triumphant, making you regret fuelling his suspicions.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re very happy about that,” you huffed, turning away from him and burying your face in your soft sheets, your hand coming up next to your head to smooth over the fabric.

You felt Jisung’s hand on your arm, his expression grim.

“Wait, so am I really right? You like him?”

You shrugged his hand away, though he hadn’t budged, giving up soon after.

“I mean,” you enjoyed your last moment of peace before you decided to reply to him, “he’s cute, I won’t deny that. And he’s become a lot nicer to me… he’s fun to talk to? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little attracted to him.”

Jisung snickered, “that’s cute, but gross. I can’t believe you like Changbin.”

Trust him to only get that out of whatever you’d just told him.

You turned to give him a wide-eyed look of disbelief, “oh, please, you were the one that kept fluffing him up to me!”

Jisung had simply shrugged, unfazed by your outburst, a small sound of hesitation leaving him.

“I would say I did a minimal amount of fluffing. I just called it before the both of you realised.”

You grit your teeth, “fine, enjoy your moment. But one word about it to Changbin and you’re dead. Got it?”

Jisung’s eyes widened, his hand coming up to mimic zipping up his lips.

“Got it.”

===

“Cut!”

You turned to cast a desperate look to Chan, the said boy looking apologetic as he called for a stop again. You watched as he leant down for Changbin to murmur something in his ear, Chan nodding before making his way over to you and Minho.

“We’re thinking maybe you could try that scene again but maybe with just a little more… in the moment? Maybe try not to rush through it,” Chan suggested to Minho, making the said boy groan.

“Sorry, it’s my fault. It’s just- we’ve been filming for hours, if I wasn’t so scared of Changbin I would’ve—”

“I know,” Chan reassured Minho, giving the both of you a small smile, “hopefully we can get this scene done quickly and then we’ll all be free to go, hmm?”

You nodded, letting Chan make his way back to where the monitor was as you got back into position with Minho.

Changbin watched intently as you and Minho acted out the scene again, something about the way Minho was delivering his lines seeming so unaligned with the picture Changbin had in his head. Was it the lines that weren't doing it for him? Was it because Changbin couldn’t quite tap into the emotions of the character in this scene?

He wasn’t sure what exactly it would look or sound like to be in love, but whatever ‘Soobin’ was showing, sure wasn’t what Changbin wanted it to be.

After you’d finished the scene, the film club members had waited anxiously for Changbin’s greenlight on whether they were free to go, all of them anxiously looking on as Chan went to talk to a few of them at props.

You taken the liberty of making your way over to where Changbin was, seeing him intently monitoring the scene that you’d just shot, the reason behind why he’d made you and Minho run through the same scene 15 times starting to become clear to you.

“That’s not gonna help you make it better, you know?” you spoke, shoving your hands into your pocket and scrunching your eyes shut as you braced against the cool wind that was blowing your way, the trees rustling loudly as Changbin’s head shot up, the frown remaining on his face.

“What?” Changbin figured he came off as a little too annoyed, but he stayed unwavering nonetheless, wanting to know just what you thought you knew about him.

“You know, I watched an interview once, and this actor said something that was so true,” you began, taking a seat next to him, feeling his gaze on you before you continued, your gaze falling on the image of you and Minho on the monitor, “he said that playback makes scenes seem a lot more dissatisfactory.”

Changbin’s frown deepened, “I don’t get it, just spit it out.”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but smile, “I’m trying to give you advice here, okay? As I was saying, be in the moment. Not everything’s gonna turn out like how it is in your head.”

You inhaled deeply, a slight shiver running down your spine at how cold you felt, taking a hand out of your pocket to tap him on the arm.

“Now can you wrap it up and call it a day? The rest of them have been dying to go home but they’re too scared to tell you.”

Changbin hummed, “They are? Why?”

You nodded, seeing Changbin already making to stand up and call for the rest’s attention, with you taking the opportunity to lean over to him and mutter, “Dunno, maybe they just haven’t figured out what a softie you are yet.”

Changbin attempted to press his lips together firmly to contain his smile, though eventually giving up and letting the soft smile be shown on his face as he dismissed the club members, the rest of them already having started shifting their equipment back.

You’d decided to help them shift the equipment while Changbin talked to Chan about something, trying your best to ignore the way the weather seemed to be getting chillier as all the equipment had started feeling cold to the touch. Mental note to start wearing warmer clothes out after today.

“Thanks for convincing Changbin to free us,” Hyunjin sighed when you were coming down the stairs after locking the club room, making you huff.

“He’s not some dictator, you know. You guys could just ask him next time,” you reasoned.

Hyunjin scoffed, “I’d much rather keep my life, thank you very much.”

Rolling your eyes, you pulled out your phone as you thought whether to text Jisung if he’d wanted to meet for dinner.

“You’re so dramatic,” you told Hyunjin, “I told him and I got to keep my life.”

Hyunjin scoffed, “that’s cause he—”

He stopped himself abruptly, eyes widening for a split second before he shrugged, “that’s cause you fight with him all the time, it’s different.”

You saw a text come in.

Changbin 8:14pm - do u wanna go get dinner? I’m done talking to Chan -

“Speak of the devil,” you murmured, erasing your drafted text to Jisung and replying to Changbin to say that you would wait at the quad.

Changbin 8:14pm - i was thinking of eating some cold noodles -

You grimaced at the thought, Hyunjin pulling you out of your thoughts, “are you waiting for Changbin?”

You nodded, sensing his hesitancy to let you wait there alone, “you go ahead, I’ll be fine, he’s already on his way.”

Hyunjin frowned, turning to see Changbin from afar already making his way over, Changbin having spotted the both of you and given Hyunjin a wave.

Waving back, Hyunjin nodded, “alright, I’ll see you.”

Tugging your jacket tighter around yourself, you folded your arms, hoping Changbin would hurry up so you could finally go somewhere with heating.

Though once he’d met up with you, you were a little confused when he’d gone a completely different direction than you’d expected, leading you to a traditional restaurant that served mainly soups and broths instead.

Don’t get me wrong, you were thankful for the warmth of the restaurant, of course, but just a little confused about why he changed his mind.

You let him order for the both of you, looking curiously from where you were seated facing him, leaning back in the wooden chairs as Changbin ordered from the older lady running the shop.

“I thought you wanted to eat cold noodles?” you scanned the menu in search of the item, confusion increasing when you found nothing of the sort.

Changbin shook his head, “figured you might wanna eat something warmer,” he admitted, making your lips part in surprise.

“How’d you know?”

Changbin didn’t know how to explain that it was because he’d kept looking at you during shooting and he didn’t miss the way your hands would clench and unclench the fabric of your clothes, or how you’d fold your arms more and shake them out in between takes when you thought no one was looking.

“…  just a wild guess.”

You brushed his comment aside, the both of you talking about your upcoming classes or complaining about readings that had yet to be read, the sheer boiling temperature of the stone pot making heat rush to your cheeks and spread through your body, thankful for Changbin’s wild guess.

Leaning back in your seat with your hands over your stomach, you sighed at how full you were feeling, already anticipating your food coma as you let yourself zone out staring at the label of Changbin’s bottle of soju.

“Are they really scared of me?”

You’d dragged yourself out of your daze (reluctantly), your lips pursing, “sorry, what did you say?”

Changbin averted his gaze, fiddling with his fingers under the table. Smoothing his thumb over the soft skin at his palm, his tongue poking at his canines before he looked back at you, meeting your gaze with a certain determination.

“The film club people,” he repeated, “are they really scared of me?”

You shrugged, “yeah, I guess. Like, they talked about it before… I guess it’s because you have that serious expression on a lot so they might take it the wrong way.”

Observing his expression, his lips had parted, a blank expression on his face, “I have a serious expression?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, tilting your head at him, “I think It’s just your resting face. They’re kind of wary of how they act around you during meetings, you know, which is why they had that kind of reaction when I first spoke up about the script.”

Changbin let his grip around his spoon relax, whatever rice he’d scooped into it dispersing into the soup.

“Then why aren’t you scared?”  

You almost snorted with how immediate your laughter had bubbled out of you, a bout of chuckles leaving you as your shoulders shook lightly.

“Because,” you waved your spoon slightly, “there’s nothing to be scared of.”

Changbin’s blank expression had prompted you to continue.

“I have no problem with you being assertive about what you want,” you explained, “I mean, if it were my script, i’d probably be equally, if not more, assertive about how I want it. But that’s a good thing about you. You don’t just… shut up if something doesn’t sit right with you. That’s something I’ve always thought was really important.”

Call him crazy, but Changbin couldn’t adequately describe how your words had done more in spreading a giddy warmth in his chest than the food ever could.

He wasn’t always like this. If anything, he’d wanted to say that he’d pushed himself to be more assertive after countless conversations with his penpal about not being afraid to speak up for what you want.

Though he’d always been scared of whether he’d be doing a disservice to the people he worked with if he chose not to speak up, he was glad that you reminded him just why he started doing it in the first place.

Penny’s character in his head had started to look more and more like you. And he was glad.

“You wanna hear something crazy?” You blurted.

You didn’t know where you were going with this. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, really. You just knew that saying what you said to him had triggered a sense of what you could only describe as love within you. If you knew anything about it.

“What?” he asked, the smile on his face making you stop in your tracks. How could he remind you so much of someone, yet seem so much like a mature, upgraded version of them at the same time?

You couldn’t possibly tell him that you were starting to be kind of glad that you didn’t meet Binnie, because you felt like you were looking at him right now. And childhood penpal or not, you were so much more smitten with the one sitting before you.

“Nothing,” you breathed, “nothing, sorry, forget I said anything.”

Your revelation reminded you that you’d brought your old letters from Binnie for Changbin to tap on for inspiration to write the last scene, shutting your mouth and turning to fish the box out of your bag.

“I just remembered, you asked for these right?” you pushed the box towards him, seeing him pick up the box gingerly (as though it were that brittle old notebook he uses), placing it into his bag.

“I’m assuming they’re the letters from your old penpal?”

You nodded, “but don’t laugh when you read them, okay? He was really nice to me.”

Changbin huffed, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, “yeah, yeah, no promises.”

After you were done with your dinner (Changbin paying for it as a supposed ‘thank you’ for being patient during filming), you’d prepared yourself to fight against the cold night breeze as you stepped out of the restaurant before Changbin, not having expected to feel a warm weight being draped over your shoulders.

“I don’t know why you decided to come out without a coat when you know now’s usually when the weather gets colder,” he tutted his tongue, feigning disapproval, not giving you any time to be shocked at his gesture.

He stood in front of you, tugging the coat tighter around you as he met your gaze, giving you a tired smile.

“I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”

You bit down on your lip, your racing heart and panic making the best reply you could come up with to be a mere, “didn’t peg you to be so gentlemanly.”

To which Changbin shrugged, a small smirk playing at his lips.

“I can be pretty romantic if I want.”

You were gonna get whiplash at this rate.

That same night (or day, 3am was a fine line), you’d received an email from Changbin of the last scene for the film, reading through it and having to stop in between for breaths and water breaks because you had no idea Changbin was capable of encompassing such romantic sentiments in a scene.

Looking at what he wrote, you would never have thought he was the same person that kept arguing with you about happy endings going to shit.

Changbin had written the scene in a burst of inspiration, having felt an almost uncomfortably foreign giddiness within him after returning home from your dinner, feeling even more motivated when he’d watched the film footage they’d shot earlier that day (unconsciously rewinding more than once to watch you act) deciding to just go with whatever he was feeling and write down the scene he had in mind.

And if anyone was asking, no, he totally didn’t picture you as Penny and himself as Soobin the entire time while doing so.

By the time you were done, it was almost an hour later, the aftermath of reading his scene making you pick your phone up and send him a text.

4:02am - did something happen? What’s with the lovey dovey script? Did someone finally change their mind about Penny? -

Not long after, Changbin’s reply came in, feeling thankful that he’d only decided to open your box of letters, or more accurately his letters, after he was done with the scene, something about what he found putting him in an all too thoughtful mood.

Changbin 4:04am -let’s just say... i took your advice-

===

“What do you think, Changbin?” Chan’s voice had snapped Changbin out of his daze, the latter looking at Jisung with a shrug.

“I would say you’re just short changing yourself if you didn’t talk to her. I mean, you said you liked her, right? So what are you waiting for?” Changbin sounded almost impatient, his tone eliciting a grunt from Jisung.

“Yeah, you say it like you’re not the one hiding your hopeless crush on Y/N.”

Chan’s eyes widened, not having expected Jisung to say it so blatantly.

Changbin sputtered, looking at Chan for help only to be met with giggles.

“I’m sorry, dude, it was really quite easy to tell.”

Changbin wanted the cushioned booth to swallow him whole, scrunching his eyes tightly shut in a wince.

“Whatever, that’s not the point,” he waved Jisung off dismissively, “we’re talking about your love life here.”

Jisung pursed his lips, shaking his head, “it’s not fun anymore, I wanna talk about yours.”

Changbin glared at Jisung, “i’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Good, ‘cause you should be having it with Y/N.”

Chan raised an eyebrow at the younger boy, humming in suspicion.

“Why do you sound like you know things...”

Jisung shrugged, raising his hands to give a dramatic shrug, “Do I? I guess we’ll never find out since Changbin ‘isn’t gonna have this conversation with me’.”

Chan turned to Changbin, who currently looked as though he would rather die than be here right now, “actually, what are you waiting for?”

Changbin brought a hand up to massage his fingers on his temples, a resigned sigh leaving him.

“I don’t know, I’ll probably not do anything until the showcase. I still don’t know how exactly I wanna go about it.”

Jisung snickered, “you’ll be fine, seriously.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’ll just enjoy whatever time I have left to think about it till the showcase. Now back to your issue… ”

But obviously, Changbin didn’t use his 3 days of buffer time very well.

He was lucky the atmosphere of the showcase and the unexpected crowd of people had prolonged the time until he’d be in a situation where he’d feel compelled to talk to you about it. Whatever it was.

You hadn’t noticed, obviously, the way Changbin had been keeping himself busy talking to guests and teachers that had shown up, people from the media and publications club. You were too busy being whisked away by your own friends and a already slightly tipsy Minho who thought it was a good idea to pregame drinks before the afterparty later on.

It’d only been when things started calming down and people were actually watching the film that you’d been put in a position where you had no choice other than to think about the boy seated in front of you tapping his foot incessantly on the carpeted floor of the auditorium.

Once the show was over, you’d leant forward, about to congratulate him when you’d both been whisked up by one of the teachers-in-charge, pulling you together with Minho onto the stage to answer questions from the audience.

The questions were fairly simple, most of them from the media and publications club trying to get technical details for their article, allowing you to zone out from where you stood on the stage, letting Changbin smoothly answer all the questions they could possibly throw at him. It wasn’t like Minho was in any position to answer them, tipsy and zoned out of his mind.

It was only when you’d heard him fumbling around with his words that you looked up from the spot on the wall you were staring at, turning to look at Changbin with an embarrassing amount of concern on your features.

“I’m sorry can you repeat the question?” you’d spoken into the microphone, hearing someone that sounded almost identical to Jisung asking how he got inspiration from the story.

You looked at Changbin curiously, as if silently asking if he needed you to step in, only to have him look at you with a blank expression, his mouth opening and closing as he fumbled for an answer.

“Oh, well, I’m sure I can answer this on behalf of Changbin,” you began, “we’d worked on the script together, and it was inspired by a lot of things, like our experiences with pen pals as well as movies like ‘you’ve got mail’.”

Changbin’s shoulders slumped with relief, nodding towards you as a silent thanks, the moment cut short when you were once again whisked away into different crowds to take pictures or to carpool to the afterparty.

Though you were bored 10 minutes into the party, Minho having gotten drunk before you could even get past your second drink, you’d let Changbin have his fun. You figured it was a good thing that he was being recognized for his efforts, even if he didn’t look like he was enjoying the attention very much. He needed it, you supposed, to be forced to see how much people enjoyed the work he made.

But you didn’t stay to see it too long, adjourning to the porch of whoever’s house you were in to enjoy an environment away from the loud music and too many people you didn’t know.

“Already bored?”

You’d jumped at the sound of Changbin’s voice, his footsteps loud against the wooden porch as he took a seat next to you on the swing, holding out his bottle of soda to you, “do you want some?”

You shook your head, seeing him shrug, “suit yourself, then.” He took a long sip of his soda, sighing afterwards.  

A tired smile on your face, you let out a deep sigh, “didn’t expect you to find me here so quickly.”

“How could I not?” he laughed, shaking his head, “In case you didn’t notice, I was suffocating in there, figured I deserve a break.”

“Good job, though, I’d say you handled everything well…” you started, your smile growing, “... though there is one thing…  I didn’t think you were the type to struggle with public speaking.”

Changbin’s lips parted in shock, scoffing, “shut up, I don’t usually.”

“Sure, you don’t,” you teased, bringing your hands to your sides to support your weight, letting your legs lift off the ground as Changbin used his feet to move the swing gently.

You leant back in your seat, enjoying the silence you were able to get out here as compared to the chaos going on within the house, noticing how tense Changbin seemed, his posture anything but relaxed as he’d let out sigh after sigh, tapping his rings against the seat of the bench absently.

“Relax,” you chuckled, “it’s already over.”

Doing the opposite of relaxing, Changbin simply stopped moving the swing, angling his body to face you more as he fished in his blazer pocket for something, pulling out an envelope from his jacket, “I have uh… something for you.”

Holding it out for you to take, your gaze fell on the colourful envelope, the little strawberry stickers you remembered using your savings to buy as you frowned at the address written on the envelope in your old messy ‘princess handwriting’.

Your gaze darted from the envelope back to him, “how did you… how do you have this?”

“I have it,” he began, letting out yet another sigh, “because you sent it to me.”

If it could, your heart would’ve stopped in that exact moment.

“Read it,” he prompted when you’d stayed silent, your hands moving urgently to open the envelope, your heart feeling warm when you pulled the paper out, already being able to see the ‘To: Binnie’ written with your favourite scented marker.

To: Binnie

How are you? I’m fine. I am writing this very late in the night because I finished my rehearsal for my school play in the evening and I just finished taking a bath. I have to be quick or my mom is gonna scold me for not sleeping yet. I wanted to tell you that you should sign up for the competition. Which is why I have to mail this to you A.S.A.P as possible because you said the sign up closes in a few days. I think that you should just try it out, even if you don’t do well. Because then at least you can say that you gave it a try and you had fun. I saw this on a tv show, and they said if you don’t try, you will never know if it will turn out well, because you didn’t try.

So I’m telling you to try!!!!! Just try your best and have fun. I think you will do well.

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N.

“So this is me… trying… it. Whatever it is,” he sounded out of breath, almost, and your heart had begun to pick up speed at how it seemed as though this would be the time where he would confess his feelings to you (if Soobin and Penny were any guide to go by).

You should’ve known Changbin better by now, though.

“Thank you… for helping me with the film. You know, for giving me crap about it because I know that that wasn’t really what I felt. I was just… bitter, but for some reason, you giving me shit about it kind of reminded me why I liked being friends with my penpal- or, I guess, liked being friends with you, so much in the first place.” he was looking at you more confidently now, straightening up as he continued.

“It wasn’t because you gave me fake money to buy a scooter, or anything,” he laughed, “it was more because you were someone that was friends with me for who I was? You were kind, and you were honest.”

Changbin fiddled with the envelope in his hands as you tried your best to contain your smile.

“And you were especially supportive, you know, in your own argumentative way.”

You let out a huff of breathy laughter at that, your hand coming up to touch your necklace, finding something else to fiddle with to contain your anxiousness.

“I’m glad, though, that I didn’t know you were that Y/N,” he told you, “because I already grew to like this Y/N so much, that… finding out was just… a pleasant surprise.”

For the first time since you saw the letter, you’d spoken, a breathy, “me too,” leaving you, embarrassing you to no end.

“I’m glad it was you,” you murmured, averting your gaze, not having expected Changbin to have reached out a hand towards yours, hovering just momentarily before making the decisive action of grasping it gently.

“Me too.”

“So are you gonna explain why my letters—”

“Shh,” he shut his eyes, the smile on his face making you give in almost instantly, “don’t ruin it.”

===

“I didn’t know people even still sent letters these days,” Jisung snorted, sipping on his coffee that he’d just gone downstairs to buy, “here, you have one, but there's no name.”

You frowned, picking it up and finding the handwriting of your address awfully familiar, feeling as though you’d definitely seen it scribbled on a specific brittle old notebook before.

You flopped onto your bed, opening the letter as Jisung resumed playing whatever game he was busy with on your desktop computer.

Thankful for the distraction, you’d quickly unfolded it, scrunching your nose at his choice of pen name.

To: my penpal Y/N

This letter may just be over a decade overdue, but I wanted to firstly say I’m sorry for making you wait so long. That letter about my film competition, that was the last one I received from you, and one of my favourites. I figured it out, by the way, I gave you the wrong address. Phonics was a very tricky thing for my eight year old stubborn self that refused to cross check with my mom.

I figured sending you a letter was best, you know, since you know I'm not the very best at public speaking, or just speaking in general sometimes, I doubt I'd be able to say as eloquently what I wanted to say to you in this letter.

I wanted to give you a few updates. Firstly, I met someone in my film club. Well, technically I auditioned them for my short film so there’s no one to blame for the trouble they caused other than me. I didn’t like them that much at the beginning. I thought they were just trying to impose their stupid happily ever after beliefs on me, someone who thought I was a big bad cynical bitter man that didn’t believe in love stories.

As you probably guessed, they challenged me (a lot), and waiting to see them started to feel like the days where I would wait to hear my mom tell me that a letter came in for me, even better actually. They reminded me of the qualities in myself that I was always afraid of showing, and they reminded me what was so good about being unapologetic for who I was sometimes, because they accepted all of that, (but not without giving me an shit about it first, of course).

But i’m thankful, I’m thankful because I really grew to like them a lot. I liked how I could be comfortable being myself around her, and I liked how they would support me when I needed it, but also to correct me when I need to be corrected.

They were real, and I liked that, a lot.

So, the point of this was that if they ever happen to receive this, you know, (because I totally didn’t know your current address, obviously), I hope they know that I’ve grown to like them very much, to like the personality that i’ve come to know, and that i’m very excited to grow to know (and like) even more.

I’ll be seeing you, Binnie.

#changbin #seo changbin #seo changbin au #changbin au #changbin fluff #skz changbin #skz au #skz #stray kids scenarios #stray kids #stray kids au #stray kids fluff #enemies-to-lovers!changbin #on track #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #I love changbin

[reachfolk]

hi sorry to circumvent your anons off setting but im really shy. i was wondering if you have any tips on starting a tesblr? i wanna like interact and make friends and talk about ocs and stuff but i dont know where to start at all 😭

it's no problem at all!! honestly, there's no wrong way to do things lol, just run your blog however you feel comfortable! but i got like mad social anxiety so ik how you feel

when i started mine, i just threw together a little post explaining my characters and pinned a post with all the relevant info i want ppl to know. that's all totally optional, but i think it can give ppl a jump off point if they know who your ocs are, what games you've played, what your main is (if you're using a sideblog), your ao3 link, things like that. it's the first thing i look for when i go on other ppl's blogs at least. also don't fuss over it like i did lol, it doesn't have to be neat or pretty and u can make edits whenever you want.

and tbh the main thing is to interact with people !! send them asks, dm them, comment on their posts, esp their fics and art. i've made memes about other people's ocs or tagged them in posts that remind me of their characters. literally everyone's just here to make pals and rave about their characters, so i promise u almost everyone will be super friendly. this site isn't like insta or whatever where people let follower count get to their head lol, we're all just a bunch of Dudes hanging out.

tbh i'm super shy with starting conversations myself so what i did is i made some ask games to get people to start conversations with me instead LMAO, i played everyone. and it worked, most of my pals and mutuals are people who i got to know from sending each other asks back and forth about our ocs, usually from ask games and prompt lists. fandom is all about sharing content and being excited about the same things, so give people the chance to talk about what excites them and you'll likely be on good terms.

and u can always dm me !! consider me ur first tesblr pal. i try to be as friendly as i can so pls don't hesitate lol <3

#i actually didn't realize i had anon off LMAO sorry u had to go through that trouble for it #i rambled a lot but like i'm still pretty new to being this level of active in fandom?? #i usually lurk on the sidelines lol so i was super shy when i first started reaching out to talk to people about it #and so ik how u feel!! i had to work up a lot of courage to push thru my social anxiety #cozy answers

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

A @batfam-christmas-stocking fic written for @lurkinglurkerwholurks!! happy holidays <3

----

“You guys really don’t have to do all this for me,” Duke says as he and Alfred step out of the suit fitting place. His words are part uncomfortable and part resigned. Jason and Steph have both already talked to him about what it’s like to be a Wayne kid—to have all that money at his disposal, and adults around who will spend it on him without a second thought—but actually living it is different.

There’s some Wayne Foundation event happening soon, and Duke is expected to go. He’s also expected to have a suit, and since he hasn’t had to wear one since his aunt’s funeral way back when he was a little kid, Alfred made plans for him to get one. Several ones, actually, but today he only tried on the one meant for the upcoming party.

Alfred slips the cuff links they brought along back into their box. “It’s no matter, Master Duke,” he says, casually handing the box over like it doesn’t hold very expensive cuff links that Thomas Wayne once wore. “All young men need a well-fitting suit.”

Staring down at the box in his hands, he asks, “But one so… much?”

After a brief moment, Alfred closes Duke’s fingers over the box and guides him gently by the wrist to slip it into his jacket pocket. They start walking, and Alfred pats his shoulder once. “So much, sir? If you mean the cost, I assure you, this is hardly a drop in the bucket. Master Dick in particular has gone through a great many suits in his lifetime, and there have been no repercussions.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about, though.” Feeling like he can confide some in the older man, Duke says, “I don’t know, it’s just…. That thing cost so much money, and I’m only going to wear it once? It just seems like a waste.”

“If you’d like, you may certainly wear it more than once. People will talk, of course, if you do so more than once every few months, but the opinions of others should have no consequence on how you live your life, Master Duke.”

“I guess. Hey, where are we going? The car’s that way.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I’m afraid I forgot to tell you. There’s another stop that needs to be made at Trader Joe’s.”

Duke makes a face. That sounds boring, and he’s ready to go home. “How long do you think you’ll be?”

“Not long at all.”

“Can I like, do some window shopping then? I won’t go too far, I just haven’t seen much of this part of Gotham, you know? I figure some exploring will help me with my, uh, job.”

Knowingly, Alfred agrees. Soon enough, they get there, and Alfred promises to not dilly-dally. Shrugging, Duke waits until he’s inside to wander off, glancing at the shop windows. One is a toy store, and though Duke is sixteen, much too old to play with toys, he finds himself standing there for a while, staring at all the colorful and expensive items.

It’s weird, knowing that if he asked for something inside, he could get it easily. His life has never been like that—even before the orphanages and group homes, his parents’ jobs weren’t well paying enough that he could ever get something from this place. They did their best, and he can’t think of a holiday that went by where he wasn’t happy. The memories of his parents’ smiles, exhausted but content, are never far from his mind. But the facts are that this store would’ve probably always been out of their reach. And now, if he wanted, he could go and ask Alfred for some money, enough to get something from here, and Alfred wouldn’t say no. Maybe he’d say Duke needs to follow a certain rule, like only get what he can hold, but that would be it. He can’t imagine Alfred would say anything about only spending so much.

It’s different and kind of overwhelming, but he’s getting used to it, he thinks.

If Steph is to be believed, he might never be fully used to it, though. Honestly, Duke isn’t sure that’s a bad thing. He doesn’t want to lose sight of what it’s like to struggle, but at the same time, it’s nice not having to worry about it anymore.

Seeing two men hustling it down the street, he’s thrown from his thoughts. Relatively well dressed, though not anything like the suits Duke was just trying on, they seem mean and like the thugs he’s come into contact with through his day job as the Signal. Not the ones he’s really used to, the ones who he used to see when he was a kid, who rob people because they’re starving and there’s no other way to get money quick enough.

It’s somehow still surprising when they see him, standing there in a nice outfit and with a visibly expensive watch, and decide that he’s the one they’re going to target. Not that surprising, granted, but for some reason, he had thought crime wouldn’t be so bad here. The rich parts of Gotham always tout themselves as being “safer”, after all. He should know better by now.

They descend on him so fast it’s kind of impressive, honestly, or at least it would be if it weren’t extremely annoying. The taller of the two speaks first, his voice gravely and deep. “This is a mugging,” he says, pulling a gun from his pocket and aiming it at Duke’s chest. “You gonna make it easy on us, kid? ‘Cause me and my pal here got no issue doing this the hard way.”

The thing is, Duke is a civilian right now. Any other day, any other circumstances, he’d be suited up as The Signal, and he could deal with these losers easy as pie. He can easily envision how he could take them down—the shorter guy has a weapon, too, but he’s anxiously gripping it in his pocket. It’s probably not a gun, or he’d have brought it out when his friend did. Maybe a knife, or some other kind of blunt object. Which means that Duke could allow the tall guy to get close so Duke can disarm him, and punch him hard enough to knock him out before moving on to Shorty. No real threat of being shot, and whatever Shorty’s got, it shouldn’t be too hard to disarm him too. Duke is getting really good at these petty fights, enough that he doesn’t really feel threatened.

Except Duke can’t do anything. Duke Thomas, the civilian, is someone who isn’t supposed to know how to fight, just another rich wimp.

Raising his hands, he tries to seem weak. Like he’s scared and playing it off like he’s amused. There are layers to this shit, and he’s not about to fail at one of the easier parts of the job—acting. “W-what do you want? Money?”

“Your watch,” Shorty says. “And your jacket.”

“You got any weapons on you?” Tall Guy shifts his aim up and down, trying to be threatening.

“No,” Duke says honestly, but they don’t believe him. Pulling him roughly to a nearby alleyway, they pat his pockets, and when they find the box, Shorty slips it out and carefully examines it. It’s a nice box, old but hardly worn at all.

“Thought you said you don’t got any weapons,” Shorty growls, slowly opening the box while Tall Guy keeps the gun aimed at Duke. When Shorty sees the cuff links, he snorts, puts the lid back on, and slips it into his own pocket. Then he steps forward and keeps patting until he finds Duke’s wallet. “You richie-riches. Pah,” he says as he opens it up.

Duke can tell the moment he recognizes the name he sees on Duke’s driver’s license.

Duke Thomas is a name that’s becoming well known, same as all the other Wayne kids. He’s the only one who’s consistently been in the papers lately, though, since everyone is curious about the newest foster child.

“You one of them Waynes?” Shorty demands, tone harsher than the grin widening on his face would suggest. To Tall Guy, he says, “We should kidnap ‘im, man. Get a ransom offa Wayne. I hear he don’t mess around when it comes to the children.”

“You’re right,” a new voice, a familiar voice, interjects. “He doesn’t. And neither do I.”

As Tall Guy and Shorty turn their attentions to Alfred, Duke… doesn’t relax like he thought he might. Instead, he tenses, because how likely is it that Alfred is distracting him, blocking out the mouth of the alley, so Duke can have a chance to fight these losers? He knows Alfred isn’t helpless, but of the two of them, Duke is the one with more experience dealing with losers like these two.

With their backs to him, he drops his hands and starts to crouch into a fighting position.

Except…it turns out, Alfred doesn’t really need him to do anything. Tall Guy steps forward with the gun aimed high, his finger on the trigger. “Who’re you?” He demands, standing straight and tense as Alfred approaches. “The nanny?”

“The butler, actually. In any case, that is my grandson you’re threatening, and really, sir, simply so you can steal his watch?”

Tall Guy and Shorty don’t seem to know what to say. Shorty pulls out a knife.

Alfred disarms and knocks both of them out within a few minutes, and Duke hardly even has to help, just punches Shorty when he comes staggering over, dazed and in pain. A few punches is all it takes before Duke’s knocking the guy out. Before they leave the scene, he makes sure to retrieve the cuff links, not wanting to lose them.

They hurry back to the car, and once they’re both settled in their seats, on the road back to the Manor, Duke can’t keep quiet anymore. “Why did you do that? I could’ve handled it.”

“Yes, I have every faith you could have, Master Duke,” Alfred says. “But your identity must be protected. If this gets out, no one will be much surprised to hear that I fought them off. No suspicion will be slung at you. And even if that were not the case, you are family.”

“I’m only Bruce’s foster kid,” Duke refutes. It’s easy to think of the Waynes as family. It’s not as easy to think about his real parents, and what they would think about all this, what they would want for him. They would want him to be happy, he knows that, and he’s happy with Bruce. But he can’t ignore that his parents could still be out there somewhere, that for all everyone knows, this could be temporary. It doesn’t feel great to put distance between himself and the others, but right now, he kind of needs it.

“Yes, but still, you are family. You always will be, my boy. And while you are part of us, I will defend you. Unfortunately, you’ll just have to get used to it.” Alfred smiles, then, and though Duke is feeling a big mess of emotions, he can’t help but smile back. It felt really nice to be defended. He hasn’t always had someone who would do that, and even if in the past few years his friends have filled that role, he remembers being a young kid, no one in his corner once his parents were gone.

It’s a good, good feeling.

#bcs19 #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #batfam #batfamily #batfam fic #fanfic #my writing #lurkinglurkerwholurks

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Beer Pong

Fandom: Marvel (College AU)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

As requested by anonymous:  Hi, so that frat boy chris gif set is giving me so many feelings and I was wondering if I could request some frat boy! Steve smut? Like reader has a class with him and he seems so quiet and out of place for a stereotypical frat house, but then they see him at a party and hes just as drunk and wild as the rest of them, so they decide to talk to him and kachow! They're doing the do.

warning: smut

A/N: yeeeaaah we don’t condone drunk sex here. so i tweaked the request a bit. also, THIS IS REALLY LONG. I’M SORRY GUYS! I GOT TOO INTO IT! 4.5K WORDS! I’M SO, SO SORRY! I HOPE YOU DON’T HATE ME!

“Hilly, I really didn’t wanna come here!” you tried to pull against the tight grip your best friend, Brunnhilde aka Hilly, had on your wrist.

Hilly rolled her eyes, “No, Y/N. You’ve been holed up in our apartment for too long! You need to go out and let loose!”

“No! I-Hilly!! Stop it!” due to her strength, your best friend was able to pull you into the frat house that was bumping with loud music and people yelling and cheering. 

You winced at how loud the music was playing. People all had the stereotypical red cups in their hand, filled to the brim with booze. People were grinding on each other to the music, couples were making out in the dark corners of the house. The entire place smelled of sweat and alcohol. You didn’t like this at all.

Hilly continued to drag you through the house and out the back to the backyard where there were even more people. Her grip on you didn’t ease until she ran into Thor, a guy you had European history with.

“There you are, you big oaf!” Hilly punched Thor in the arm and he chuckled.

“I told you I’d be in the backyard!” he looked behind Hilly and waved at you with a smile, “Hello, Y/N!”

You waved, “Hey Thor.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here. As I recall these aren’t your thing.” he gave Hilly a pointed look, who then shrugged and grabbed the cup from his hand, drinking all of its contents.

You snorted, “Yeah, well, my wonderful best friend thought it’d be good to bring me, despite my rejection.”

Thor nodded, “I see, well, now that you’re here, come play with us! Steve needs a partner because Barnes went off with someone.”

Your ear perked at the familiar name, “Steve? As in Steve Rogers?”

Thor smirked at your sudden interest, “The very same,” he offered his arm to you, “Come along.” Hilly had already went over to the beer pong table where several people were gathered around. When you drew closer, Thor yelled, “Steve! I found you a partner!”

Steve turned towards Thor, his eyes brightening and smile widening at the sight of you, “Y/N! Hi!” he rushed over to you, crushing you in his arms with a hug, “I didn’t think I’d see you here!”

You nervously laughed, “Yeah, uh, same here. You’re a frat boy?”

He shrugged, “Yeah. Surprised?”

“A little. I mean in class you’re so shy and quiet unlike-”

“YEEEAAAH! THAT’S MY BOY!” you heard Luis, another classmate of yours, yell to his friend, Scott who managed to win their round of beer pong.

“-them,” you chuckled at the sight.

“I’m a business major like the rest of ‘em.”

You slowly nodded, “Wow. I’ve sat next to you for half a semester and I’m just finding this out.”

He shrugged, “Well, we hardly get time to chat. Fury is always on people who even asks the person next to them for a pencil.”

You laughed, “That’s true!”

Steve looked down and took note of your empty hands, “You wanna drink?”

You shook your head, “I don’t drink alcohol.”

“That’s fine. We have water, soda, orange juice too, unless Nat and her friends used it all for the mimosas.”

“Water’s fine.” 

He shot you a smile and then excused himself to head back inside the house. Once out of sight, Hilly practically ran into your side, “I saw you talking to him! What’d he say? Did he ask you out yet?”

You snorted, “No, Hilly. We just talked about school. And he’ll definitely not want to ask me out. I’m not his type!”

She arched a brow at you, “You know his type?”

“He’s like any frat boy here. Some tall, skinny chick in a sorority who likes to party and drink. I’m not like that.”

“But Steve isn’t like all these other frat boys,” Hilly pointed out before heading back to the beer pong table. It was her and Thor against Sam and Scott’s girlfriend, Hope. 

Steve startled you when he appeared back at your side, “Sorry,” he gave you a sheepish look.

You took the water bottle from his hands, “Thanks and it’s alright.” you twisted the cap open and gulped nearly half the bottle down, which made Steve snicker.

“Thirsty much?” 

You giggled, “You have no idea. Anyway, Thor said you needed a partner for the game?” you asked, nodding towards the pong table.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to play if you don’t want to.”

You shrugged, “It’s fine. Might as well, right?”

“I suppose. I’ll drink your drinks too since you said you don’t drink.”

You graciously smiled at him, “Thanks, Steve.”

“No problem, Y/N.”

___________________________

Three rounds of beer pong and you and Steve have been undefeated. Steve, because he took on the responsibility of drinking your drinks, was now soooooo drunk. Every time the ball landed in the other team’s cup, he’d do this adorable dance that always made you laugh. And you noticed whenever you laughed, a big smile would appear on his face and he’d get this look in his eyes. It brought butterflies to your tummy, but it also made you nervous. You’re not Steve’s type. You’ll never be Steve’s type. You needed to get that into your head now before you started to fall harder for him.

It was your turn and the opposing team, Tony and Clint, had one more cup to go. You rolled the ping pong ball in your hand, trying to concentrate. Steve stood right behind you, his front pressed up against your back. 

He leaned over and whispered into your ear, “You got this, Y/N. This is for the win. I believe in you.” You could feel your face heating up from not only his closeness but the fact that he had both hands on your hips. 

“Okay. Here it goes!” you tossed the ball across the table and...SPLOOSH.

“YEEEAAH! WE WON! YOU DID IT, BABY!” Steve picked you up into his arms and kissed you on the mouth. 

Realizing what was happening, you pulled away, staring at Steve wide-eyed, who, in return, stared back at you just the same.

“Fuck,” he stepped away from you, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, “Shit. I-I’m sorry. I’m drunk! But that’s not an excuse! I just-” his body sagged, “You can leave, if I made you uncomfortable. I-I understand.”

You stared at Steve and without hesitation, you pulled him in for another kiss. Cheers and applause erupted around the two of you which made you break the kiss in laughter. 

Steve’s hands remained on your hips, his forehead resting against yours. He groaned, “I really want you, Y/N.” he’s grinding his crotch into yours and you whimper, which causes him to moan again, “God, I could make you feel so good, baby. Lemme make you feel good.” he’s practically dry humping you in front of everyone, which makes you push him away.

“Steve, stop. You’re-You’re drunk. This-This can’t happen. You don’t want me. Not really.”

“Y/N-”

“I’m gonna go.” You turned your back to him and ran out of the backyard. His cries for you falling deaf upon your ears.

___________________________

You woke up the next morning with a groan. The events of last night replaying through your head and you dug your face into your pillow. You kissed Steve Rogers. Twice. He wanted you, but he was drunk, and that’s what probably hurt the most. Knowing he wouldn’t want you sober.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you grabbed your phone and looked at your notifications. You hadn’t even looked at it when you got back to your dorm and went straight to sleep.

Hilly: where’d you go??

Hilly: thor said you just left after kissing steve?? 

Hilly: seriously, Y/N, where did you go?!

Hilly: YOU BETTER LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU ARE OR I’M CALLING CAMPUS POLICE TO LOOK FOR YOU!

You glanced towards Hilly’s bed to see that she was completely passed out. Thor probably brought her back. She always went too hard with her alcohol. 

You checked your other messages. One was from Thor:

Thor: brought Hilly back. She was freaking out about not knowing where you were. But she was happy to see you in bed when I brought her back. Also, you and Steve huh? ;)

The last batch of messages were from Steve. Some were from last night and the others from early this morning:

Steve: Y/N, im sorry! plasse coe back!

Steve: I wan talk!

Steve: I know I mseed up! 

Steve: at least teell me you got bcak safe!

He was still clearly drunk when he texted you those. Then you read the ones from early this morning:

Steve: Y/N, I’m really sorry I made you uncomfortable last night. I don’t know what I was doing. 

Steve: I know that’s a poor excuse, but this is me trying to make up for it. Can we talk?

Steve: well, i’ll be at the house nursing my hangover the entire day, so if you’re willing to talk. you can come by? or I can come to you? Whatever makes you comfortable.

And that was that. 

You tossed your phone onto your bed and sat up. You can do one of two things: 1) be completely immature and pretend all of last night didn’t happen or 2) be a responsible adult and talk things out with Steve. 

As much as you wanted to do number 1, the logical part of your brain told you to do number 2. So number 2 it is. 

__________________________

Steve stared at his phone, specifically the messages he had sent you last night and this morning. You read them, but hadn’t responded to him at all. He tossed the phone onto the couch in the living room of the frat house cursing. 

Bucky walked over and plopped down next to Steve, “You okay, pal?”

“I think I ruined my chances with Y/N,” he mumbled regretfully. 

“Ah yes. You kissed her. She kissed you. You started dry humping her and then she ditched. Way to go. You really do know how to deal with the ladies, pal.”

Steve punched his best friend in the arm, “This isn’t funny, Buck! I really like Y/N and I fucking blew it! Why the hell did I have to get plastered last night?!”

Sam groaned as he trudged over to the couch, “Too loud. No yelling,” he grumbled as he fell into one of the bean bags on the floor, “Why’re you yellin’ anyway?”

“He fucked up his chance with Y/N,” Bucky said with a smirk.

Sam snorted, “Was it the kiss or the dry humping?”

I WASN’T DRY HUMPING HER!” Steve yelled which made Sam whine. He pushed off the couch and marched towards the stairs, “I was gonna ask you two for help with apologizing to her and telling her how I feel but fuck you guys! You’re no help at all!” he purposefully stomped up every step of the way just to irritate Sam. 

The doorbell rang and Bucky got up with a grunt, and went over to open the door. An immediate smile appeared on his face, “Hey, Y/N.”

You shyly smiled at him, “Hey, Bucky. Um, is Steve here?”

“Yeah. Hold on.” Bucky faced the inside of the house, cupped his hands around his mouth, “Hey, Steve! Y/N’s here!”

Steve hollered back from downstairs, “THAT’S NOT FUNNY, BUCKY!”

“I’m serious, man! She’s here!” 

“YEAH RIGHT!”

“SHE’S REALLY HERE YOU DUMBASS! NOW GET DOWN HERE SO EVERYONE CAN STOP FUCKING YELLING!” Sam yelled from his seat in the bean bag. You couldn’t help but giggle at the hole affair. 

You heard hurried stomping upstairs and then Steve came bolting down the stairs towards you and Bucky, “Y/N!” he slid to a halt before you. 

“Um, hi, Steve.”

With small pants, he said, “Hi,” back.

Bucky pat his friend on the shoulder, “Weeeeell, I’ll leave you guys alone. Sam, you want a hangover special?”

“God, yes!”

Sam followed Bucky to the kitchen and you awkwardly chuckled, “So, uh, you wanted to talk?”

“Right, um, is it okay if we can do this in my room? I’d prefer the privacy.”

You nodded, “Sure,” you walked back into the house, surprised that it didn’t look completely trashed. 

“I cleaned up as soon as I woke up,” Steve stated as he walked up the stairs. 

“You seem fine for someone who claims to have a hangover,” you noted.

“It was bad when I woke up earlier. The headache and sound sensitivity has died down now. So I’m pretty much good. Can’t say the same for Sam or some of the others though.” 

He held the door to his room open for you and you walked in, immediately sitting down at his desk chair. After closing the door behind him, he walked over to his bed, sitting at the edge. He looked down at his lap, nervously twiddling his thumbs around, “So, uh, I’m sorry about last night. I was drunk and I kissed you and it was uncalled for. And, well, the grinding thing. Everyone is saying I was dry humping you, but I don’t think I was. Was I?”

You awkwardly scrunched your face up, “You kinda were, Steve.”

He groaned and put his head in his hands, “God fucking-I’m so sorry, Y/N! I really-I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so gone and I guess my feelings for you plus the amount of alcohol I had brought that out in me and-”

“You have feelings for me?”

“Well, yeah. I mean you’re so smart and funny and beautiful. The conversations we’ve had before and after class, they always make my days so much better. But I just had to fuck it up.” Steve fell back against his bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

He heard the screech of his chair against the wooden floor and the padding of your feet towards him. He thought you were going to sit beside him, but no, you crawled on top of him, straddling his lap, which made him sit up.

“Y/N, wha-” you cupped Steve’s face and pressed your lips against his. This kiss was different from the last two. The last two was desperate and rushed. This one was soft and meaningful.

Steve wrapped his arms around you and rolled you over so that now he was on top and you were on the bed. Your hands pulled at the hem of his shirt and he broke the kiss, “Wait. Wait. So this,” he gestures between the two of you, “it’s mutual? You really like me too?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “Of course, I like you, Steve! I kissed you, didn’t I?”

“Well yeah, but-actually. I don’t know where I was going with this. I like you and you like me and now-now I wanna get naked with you.”

You laughed again, “Get naked with me? You sound like a child.” he gave you a shrug and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the ground. 

You sat up doing the same while Steve hopped off the bed, tugging off his sweats. He fell onto the floor whilst doing so which made you laugh. Hard. 

You curled up into a ball on his bed, clutching your stomach, “Y-You just-and you were-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Steve rolled his eyes and proceeded to kick off his pants, his boxers joining them. Then there he stood before you, naked as the day he was born, pouting, “This is not how our first time together is supposed to go!”

“I-I’m-I’m sorry! You-You just-AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Steve growled and he pounced on you, throwing his entire weight on top of you causing you to yelp. You tried pushing him off, but he took your wrists pinning them to the bed. His usual bright blue eyes were now a darker blue, “Baby girl, you better stop laughing. Right now.”

You pulled your lips in, trying not to laugh some more. You found this side of Steve incredibly sexy, but the fact that he fell on his ass a minute ago was just too funny. 

You found yourself giggling again and Steve pushed his bare hips down on your clothed ones, “Sweetheart, I ain’t gonna fuck ya if you keep laughing at me.”

You visibly gulped, swallowing down your laughter as you mustered out a “Sorry, Steve.”

His eyes softened then, “You good now?” when you nodded, Steve let go of you, “Good. Now let’s even out the playing field, shall we?” and he was back to your soft Steve again. Looks like you’ll have to explore that darker side of him later. 

With your pants somewhere on the floor, and your bra and underwear joining it, you were bare before Steve. Laying in his bed and looking like an angel. 

“Goddamn. I think I’m dreaming.” his hand went down to his hard cock, slowly stroking it. 

You bent your fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion and he proceeded to crawl closer to you, body hovering over yours as he bent down for a searing kiss. One hand ran down your body, while the other kept him up right. He kneaded at your breasts, pinching and pulling at your hardened nubs makin you moan into his lips. 

“I love those sounds of yours. Lemme hear them again,” he breathed against your lips as his hand traveled further down to your pussy, his fingers rubbing down onto your clit before moving further to your slick, “This okay?” he asked before going any further. 

You nodded, “More, Steve. Please.” 

Without a second thought, his middle finger dipped into your core. You were wet but not wet enough yet. He wanted to change that, “Can I taste you, sweetheart? Hm? Can I taste that sweet pussy of yours?”

“Oh fuck yes,” you breathed out. You could already feel yourself getting wetter just by Steve’s dirty talk. You didn’t expect this out of him at all. 

Steve spread your legs further before laying onto his stomach in-between them. His fingers began to tease you, running along your slit, rubbing slow, circles around your clit. It was nice, bu not what you wanted. 

“Steeeeve!” you whined, causing him to chuckle.

“It’s alright, Y/N. I hear ya.” he leaned him, licking a stripe up your slit, which resulted you letting out a sigh of relief. Finally getting to the good stuff. 

His fingers spread your pussy lips open and he delved in. His tongue licking up your sweet juices, the tip teasing your hole, and then going up to flick at your nub. 

Your hands went to his hair, gripping the blonde tresses in pleasure, tugging at them, causing Steve to moan into your heat. And it was a very sexy, animalistic moan. So...Steve’s got a hair pulling kink. Gotta add that to the list of surprising things you’re finding out about him. 

“God, Steve. You’re so good at that,” you moaned, eyes glancing down at the oh so wonderful sight before you. 

If someone told you that Steve Rogers, your semester long crush, would be naked and going down on you, two days ago, you’d call them crazy. The thought only seemed like a dream and now your dream has come true. And holy fuck is this so much better than you ever thought it would be. 

Your nails scraped against Steve’s scalp as his tongue occupied your clit, while a finger slipped into your hole. You pushed your head back against the mattress mumbling, “Holy fucking shit, Steve.”

You heard him chuckle as he continued to pleasure you with his tongue, “You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted, Y/N.” he gave you a wink and it made you whimper. 

“Steve, no more. I want you inside of me. Please.” you batted your eyes at him, hoping they’d give him the right affect. They did. 

He sat up, wiping your juices off his mouth, “You want it, huh?” he gripped his rock hard cock in his hand, “You want me to fuck you?”

You nodded, “Yes, please, Stevie,” you looked your legs around him, pulling him in, “so, so much.”

He smirked as he placed a hand by your head, holding him up. His other, still wrapped around his dick, “I can’t say no to you, Y/N.” he leaned in, teasing your clit with his tip. The precum spreading all over you. Steve’s hand on the mattress moved up more and reached for something under the pillow you were laying on. When he pulled away, he had a condom in hand. 

You gave him a questioning look and he simply shrugged, “Always gotta keep ‘em near.” he ripped the small package opening and then pulled the rubber out. He rolled it over his tip and then down his shaft. He tossed the wrapper somewhere and went back to business.

“Alright. You still wanna do this?” Still ever the considerate one, Steve.

“Fuck yes. Now come oooonn! I’ve been waiting for this since I saw you on the first day of class!”

Steve laughed as he bent over you, “Same here.” he pressed his lips to yours and at the same time, sheathed himself inside you. You gasped against his lips. This wasn’t the first time you’ve had sex, but Steve’s width was a lot different that the few previous people you’ve slept with. 

“You okay?” he murmured against your lips.

You nodded, “Mhm. Just been a while is all.”

“I’ll start slow,” he said before carefully pulling his hips back and then pushing them towards you, “Just tell me if you want me to go faster.” you nodded again, and his lips was on yours once more. 

He continued to give slow and careful thrusts. With every one, you became more used to the feeling of him and it became pleasurable. The feeling of his cock dragging against your pussy walls. His pubic bone pressing just enough pressure onto your clit to provide pleasure. But you wanted more now. You needed more now.

“Faster, Steve. Now. Want more now.”

“I got ya, baby. I got ya.” Steve took your legs and propped them over his shoulders, allowing him to go deeper inside you. 

You let out a loud moan as his thrusts became deeper and harder, “Fuck, Steve! Like that! Just like that!” the springs of the mattress creaked beneath you as Steve went hard. This was a feeling you never thought you’d experience with a guy like Steve. He was so smart, funny, considerate, but also handsome and sexy as hell. This has to be a dream. This has to be.

“Not a dream, baby. I’m all real.”

Your eyes widened, “Did I say that out loud?”

He chuckled, “Yeah. But it’s okay. You’re adorable.” 

“You’re adorable-r.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” you said with a giggle and he groaned.

“That giggle drives me crazy. God, the times in class I’d hear it. Just made me wanna take you right there in front of everyone.”

You playfully scrunched your nose up in distaste, “Don’t think Fury would’ve appreciated it.”

“Yeah, probably not.” his hand snaked around to your clit, thumb brushing against it, rubbing it down, pinching it, “Wanna cum, Y/N? I wanna feel you cum.”

His pace quickened in tandem with the pace of his fingers. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the air in his room as Steve fucked you hard. 

“Oh God, Steve!” you cried out, feeling pleasure you’ve never felt before. You could feel the tightening in your lower stomach. A coil ready to be released. 

“Come on, Y/N. Cum for me. Cum on my cock, beautiful. Lemme feel ya.”

You gripped at the sheets on his bed, your hold on them so tight that you felt like you’d rip a hole through them, “Fuck! I’m-Steve-I’m gonna cum!” You cried out his name, as your walls clenched down on him. That familiar wave of pleasure washing over you and taking over your body.

“Shit! God, Y/N! That’s it! Keep going! Good girl!” he cried out through gritted teeth. He was coming to his climax. Just a little more to go. He went as hard as he could now, helping you ride through your orgasm while chasing after his own. He wanted this. Needed this. 

“Hnnng, fuck! Y/N!” he gave two more thrusts and he stilled as his seed spilled into the condom, “Oh God!” he cried out, feeling the pleasure run through his body. He let himself have a few more thrusts before practically collapsing on top of you. 

His entire weight on you caused you to giggle, “Stevie, c’mon. Get off. I can barely breathe!” 

He groaned as he pulled out of you and rolled to the other side of you. He then took off the condom, tying it, and tossing it into the trash can next to his bed. 

You continued to lay there, limp and staring at the ceiling, “So...what now?”

“Well, two options. One, we cuddle and nap then when we wake up, we go for more rounds. Or two, we cuddle and nap and then when we wake up, I take you out on a date like I planned on doing months ago.”

You gigged as you rolled onto your side, facing him, “Number one sounds tempting, but I think I’m gonna have to go with number two.” 

Steve pulled you closer to him, arm wrapping around you, “Number two it is.”

_______________________________

Two hours later, you and Steve emerge from his room dressed to go out. As you walked down the stairs, Bucky, Sam, and a bunch of other guys in the frat were cheering and giving you two a round of applause. 

You hid your face into Steve’s chest, completely embarrassed at the fact that the entire house most likely heard you and Steve. 

Steve put a protective arm around you as he pushed his brothers away, “Hey! Knock it off, will ya?!”

Bucky appeared, clapping his hand onto his best friend’s shoulder, a proud smile on his face, “Congrats, Steve. You didn’t manage to fuck it up even more.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Thanks, Buck.”

“So you really humped her this time instead of going dry right?” Sam asked with a mischievous smirk.

“I DIDN’T,” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “You know what? Fuck all you guys! I’m gonna go take my girlfriend out on a date!” he continued to push past his friends and walk out the door.

“So...I’m your girlfriend now?”

Steve scoffed, “After all we just did? Fuck yeah you’re my girlfriend! Now c’mon, girlfriend. I’m taking you out on the town!” he moved his arm to slip his hand in yours, smiling at you.

You smiled back, squeezing his hand, “Lead the way, boyfriend.”

Funny how a few games of beer pong led to this.

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #marvel #au #college au #smut

[fictionalboysarejustbetter]

Friendships from Afar

Distance creates a barrier of trust. There are no worries. There is always a safety net to fall back on that protects from hurt or pain. Beginning in second grade, my personal goal had always been to find a singular, perfect friend who lives far away. We could talk openly with each other, and I would have the ability to be myself. The plan is that years later, I would meet this person in the weirdest of circumstances, and we would be best friends forever. It’s even better if this friend is a guy, so then we can both fall in love and get married to live happily ever after.

In second grade, the entire class received school pen pals, and while my fourth-grade pen pal was not ideal, I knew I loved this “secret” letter writing system where I am just Rebecca, nothing more or less. Moving into fifth grade, Mrs. Smith found me a pen pal from China. Through our teachers, we would send each other letters back and forth until the school year was over. From this moment onward, I was hooked; pen pals didn’t care what I looked like or how shy I was or how involved my mother was with the school, I could just be me, and they only knew the information I told them. Without asking for help, I scavenged through the internet, trying to collect pen pals as if they were Webkinz. I was convinced this perfect friend could only be found on pen pal websites that look like they were made by my fellow fifth graders.

Starting in sixth grade, I would spend night after night stalking the profiles of random teenagers on Students of the World, a supposedly “safe” pen pal website for kids. Gender? Who cares. Age? About 10-16. Likes? Reading, of course. Language? English please. I would then press search and sift through hundreds of profiles, finding the perfect candidates to be my best friend. This process was extremely predictable, including:

The teenage boys “looking” for a relationship:

Nathaniel, Age 14, UK

HOBBIES:

Photo

Trips

Cinema, Television

Sports

Reading

Painting, Drawing, Art

Hi! Are you looking for a cool guy to write to? Send me a nice message otherwise you’ll miss something priceless. 

I can speak:

English, French

The liars that claimed they like everything and speak every language:

Janhvi, Age 16, USA

HOBBIES:

Photo

Trips

Clothes

Cinema, Television

Sports

Sciences

Music

Reading

Animals, Nature

Cooking

Collections

Painting, Drawing, Art

Hello !!👩I'm Janhvi .I like to travel.I have traveled in to many countries .Such as india , sri lanka, china, france and more.I like make new friends.message me soon guys.👭👫OUR LIFE IS CHANGE , BUT FRIENDSHIP NEVER BE CHANGE.

I can speak:

English French German Italian Spanish Arabic Chinese Japanese Korean

The students making a profile for class:

Chaya, Age 13, USA

HOBBIES:

Clothes

Cinema, Television

Music

Reading

Animals, Nature

I am looking for a penpal for our school project. I would like to find some in Atlanta, Georgia.

I can speak:

English

I would scroll through these profiles so constantly that I rarely found new profiles. I was judging every profile based off of the person’s name, biography, age, likes, languages, everything. Most people without a profile picture wouldn’t receive an email from me. I tried to avoid messaging anyone from the United States unless they sounded like a major fangirl or fanboy over the books I liked. I automatically favored anyone from Europe, especially if they had an interesting name. But regardless if anyone from anywhere sent me a message first, I would respond back at least once.

Shortly after the search began, I received a message from a girl named Julia from Australia. She and I were the same age, we both needed a friend, and we both liked reading, animals, music, and clothes. Quickly, my life began to revolve around the fourteen hours that always stood between Australia and the United States. Throughout sixth and seventh grade, we would be constantly messaging on the messaging app “kik,” confiding everything deep and useless to each other like best friends do:

Becca says:

Hey, how are you?

Julia says:

Everyones well... Mum and dad start the long drive to melbourne this weekend so everythings kinda topsy turvy :p

How is your family and pets? Im sorry for my rudeness that i didnt ask earlier

Nearlytime for school?

Becca says:

Lol that is fine! I get to school around 8, so normally ill drop off right before, lol i try to remember to tell you but i tend to forget. Theyre good though. Willie and Apricot are happy my grandma left :-P mom and dad are helping me with my ancestry project and exploding of happiness because I got a position in that volleyball club and my sister has been working and spending money :-P her favorite thing to do

Julia says:

Ahh the christmas spirit... Lol is there anyone in the house who loves your grandmother?

Becca says:

Lol we love her because shes family, but no one loves her when shes here if you know what i mean.

What’s up?

For two years, the conversations would continue for hours, as we both wait anxiously for the “ding” on our tablets, indicating a new message. Julia’s father was a firefighter who fought the nasty bushfires that haunted their country. I interviewed him as my hero for my final paper and presentation in my eighth grade English class. I interviewed him through email after our initial plans to Skype were sidetracked by the active wildfires, and I so proudly presented the information about him that you would have thought he was my father.

One day, Julia told me about her divorced parents. Then, she told me about the twins her mom just gave birth to. Then, she explained that she actually has a twin brother and no younger siblings at all. Then, she became an aunt to twin nephews. Then, her house burned down, and she had to move across the country. Then, her parents just moved across town. The stories continued and continued only within months of each other, not adding up in any way, shape, or form. With hope still in my heart, I sent her all three books of The Hunger Games trilogy since she really wanted to read them, but two months later, the books came back in the mail as undeliverable. The address did not exist.

Unable to admit defeat or accept the idea that my best friend might not be real despite all of the evidence, I started to panic. What if she is catfishing me? I’ve seen that show before, and I even gave “her” my address. Whoever this person is could easily come to my house and kidnap me...maybe I should tell my mom and warn the police. But maybe, she just has a really hard life, and she compulsively lies to make herself feel better? Maybe, she just really wants attention, and that’s why none of her stories are adding up. Besides it could still be her, she may just be scared. She could have just lied and is younger than she said and is trying to sound cool to impress me.

With these panicked thoughts raging through my body like wildfire, I blocked her from kik and began to ignore her emails. I forced myself to just disappear, so then I would have nothing to worry about. I cannot trust that Julia is really Julia, so I will just watch “her” occasional emails come in, analyzing from afar who “she” may be. I’ll search for her on Google and Facebook and Instagram and Students of the World and anywhere else I can look. The emails would keep coming for years and years, but they never held much content to them, and I’m still left to question who “Julia” is.

My Julia investigation was stalled for now, and the void of not having a constant penpal to talk to quickly came back. Therefore, my search to find the perfect best friend needed to be expedited since Julia was certainly not cut out for the position. I continued to search Students of the World with my new smartphone every chance I had. In between games at volleyball competitions, Hope and I could be found by the nearest outlet on my phone, scouring the website for the perfect answers within someone’s profile. We would send out messages together to the nerdy fangirls and fanboys around our age. Every day during the bus ride home from school, Jenna and I looked through the website on our phones, judging everyone’s biographies and pictures. Jenna created a profile too, and we would have three-way Skype sessions with Sylvia from France until the two of them became too close and stopped inviting me to Skype with them.

Finally in April of ninth grade, I received a promising email from a 16-year-old boy from France:

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

My name is Kristopher and Im from France !

I watched a few days ago Divergent and it made me want to read the books !

I see you like tv shows and video games as I do !

I am not fluent in English but I can talk to you !

If you want I can learn you French ! :)

Typically, I would spend about twenty minutes every day responding to emails from random penpals on my way home from school, but within the first three or so emails to a person, one of us would just stop responding. In regard to Kris, I generally liked video games, but I wasn’t obsessed with them, and I had a weird taste in TV, so we probably couldn’t talk about that much. But Divergent by Veronica Roth was my all-time favorite book. As soon as I read that word in the email, I knew I would be responding until he stopped responding to me. It had always been my goal to fall in love with a fanboy, especially one with the same taste in books and movies as me, so I immediately responded with:

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Hi Kristopher!

What part of France are you from? I live near Pittsburgh, PA, USA.

Yes, definitely read the books! They are amazing! I find myself gravitating towards video games and shows more than sports! :P

I don't know much of French as I take Spanish in school, but I'd love to learn some and help you with English as well!

Rebecca

He emailed me back within minutes, and we emailed for most of the evening, talking about books and food and the differences between the United States and France. That night though, my phone battery had died, and it was only for a few hours. After plugging it in, I found five unread messages from him, making sure I was okay.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Lol it works ! :) Good courage to go back to school ! :)

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Hey sweetie 😆

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

How are you Miss ?

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Do You use words like ain't or gonna ? 😆

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Are you OK ?

As soon as I read these messages, my heart fluttered a little. This was just the beginning of our constant messaging and talking. I happily responded to him, and within days, Kris was my perfect, new best friend. The random space he left between the last word and the punctuation of a sentence would drive me insane, but I didn’t have the heart to explain the process to him. We talked so consistently that it would probably be considered unhealthy, discussing pets, family, being the youngest child, aspirations, atheism, languages, food, books, video games, and everything else under the sun. I was stuck to my phone all day, and every time I picked it up, I waited in anticipation for a notification with his name and the random spaces between his words and the punctuation.

The six-hour time difference between the two of us meant nothing, with him staying up late and me getting up early. Between classes, we would sneak each other messages about how our days were going. My week-long field trip to San Antonio, Texas was spent either messaging him or scouting out an outlet to plug my phone into so that I could talk to him. The more access I had to Kris, the further I distanced myself from my friends and family. When my phone would die or I wouldn’t have reception, I would look around, annoyed by whoever the people around me were. Kris was the perfect friend I always wanted; he was my best friend, and I was his. Neither of us needed anyone else, and hopefully, all of our talking and flirting would lead to love which would lead to marriage.

The summer before tenth grade came, and Kris seemed to be growing distant. Supposedly, he was travelling all summer, and he would rarely have access to wifi. I counted down the days until he would be back home, and after one measly conversation, he disappeared again. I sent message after message, finally receiving a response about his brother pushing him in the pool and his phone being in his pocket at the time, so it was destroyed. The summer seemed to be surrounded by disappointment, but hopefully when we went back to school, our relationship would continue to be as strong as it was before.

Tenth grade began, and Kris was still busy all the time. Apparently if he kept up his hard work, he would be valedictorian. Since I couldn’t spend lunch chatting with him anymore, I bragged that I was basically dating this amazing French guy who is valedictorian at his school. Until October hit, and then I would receive the dreadful message that he has a girlfriend. Ironically, this only made our conversation stronger than it had ever been, and he even picked out my new haircut, sending me endless compliments on it. The next day, he sent another message, explaining that his girlfriend didn’t want us talking anymore so it would probably be best if we just stopped. I was bad at listening to these directions, following this conversation up with many, many new messages in attempts to strike a conversation with him again. These messages earned me a nice block from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat.

My only method of contact would now be email, so night after night instead of stalking Students of the World for new pen pals, I would send Kris emails. I now began to understand that feeling that I caused upon Julia, who may or may not have been Julia. Throughout October and November, I received a few responses that sounded like an automatic email reply, but one email in mid-November stood out, as it was one of the last ones I would receive from him.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected]

Hello Becca,

I did act stupid and didn’t answer your messages at all. When I emailed you first, I never thought our friendship would get that strong !

Guess what, there used to be a time I was really in love with you, but I haven’t dared say so … The one biggest reason was the 6000 km that stand between us ! You were the one I loved talking to ! So I talked to you and you never waited to answer and neither did I.

I don’t know, something went wrong, time changed, I’m sorry I haven’t answered you for long, this is all my bad. I wish I could go back to past to fix this.

This message will never ever be able to patch things up, but it (I hope ) will tell you that I never forgot you .

My mother would tell me time and time again that any type of relationship separated by physical distance would never work. I had never believed her, but after receiving this email, I understood. Why had I ever believed that the perfect friendship would be through time differences of at least five hours? These relationships do not automatically create a barrier of trust, often making it even harder to trust. There are always going to be worries about who that person is and what their intentions are. There is no safety net to keep you from being hurt or feeling pain. Once there is a roadblock within your barrier of communication, you cannot simply get it back after running into each other at Walmart or flashing them a fake smile as you pass them in the hallway at school. As soon as one person blocks the other or the number of unread emails increases substantially over months, that person is gone forever.

#penpals #love #lost love #memoir #longdistance #oops I fell in love with my penpal #those French boys

[avicebro]

Hello Pollux! Can you explain your OTP tags?

This is something people want? Lol okay:

This includes League of Legends and Fate.

Fate:

otp: be my queen | richard/ayaka

reference to the fact that richard is continuously trying to get ayaka to be his master. since they are master/servant and i like them romantically it turns from “be my master” to “be my queen”. a good otp 10/10 narita when will you ever.

otp: avenger and ruler | edmond dantes/amakusa shirou 

i hope this is obvious. it’s an avenger and a ruler. demonstrates the fact that they’re polar opposites but still good as a ship.

otp: dragon slayers | siegfried/saint george

reference to how they work really well together in defeating wyverns in fate/grand order. may include kojiro if i find some siegfried/kojiro art i like.

otp: thief and executioner | robin hood/charles henri sanson

i like these two, especially in the salem chapter. the ship name is reference to their roles: one is a thief, one is an executioner. i was also thinking of giving them a title like “the new fruk” cause that’s basically what they are lol.

otp: im a self insert | guda/fgo character

any art of a guda and a fate grand order character. mainly avicebron and dantes because that’s who i ship myself with. more characters may join eventually but im very gay.

otp: casters of opposing factions | avicebron/william shakespeare

in apocrypha they’re the casters for the opposing factions. in fate grand order they seem to keep this dislike for each other.

otp: a new isolde | tristan/melt

ok i haven’t seen the full ccc event yet but basically tristan compares melt to isolde so yeah she’s a new isolde for him. i don’t like how fate writes her name (isseult?) so we’re going with this spelling.

otp: i’ll make you tsar | kadoc/anastasia

this is kadoc’s plan in lostbelt, to make her tsar of the lostbelt. that doesn’t really happen though but they’re in love okay?????

otp: hate at first sight | kirei/kiritsugu

i was tempted to call them “beautiful ties” as a pun on their names but decided against it. hate at first sight because that’s what happened. get along you two.

otp: president and princess | rin/issei

their roles at school. proud captain of the rissei ship. i will love this ship by myself if i have to.

otp: like cats and dogs | gilgamesh/cu chulainn

this is because of ip. go through her gilcu tag. i swear you’ll come out a different person. gilcu is a good ship. they’re a cat and a dog.

otp: i hate everything you stand for | hansa/jester

hansa and jester both hate each other because of who they are. jester despises those from the church, hansa hates dead apostles. they’re fun.

otp: l’auteur malfaisant | edmond dantes/dumas

this is just what dantes calls him, “the wicked author” but in french. love these two so fucking much. if you want me to be happy just mention eddumas.

otp: beast like me | caren/angra mainyu

in hollow ataraxia, it’s stated that they are both beasts: caren for being born “out of wedlock” and angra mainyu because he’s all the evils of the world. they are both beasts by birth, and must deal with the sins from being called a beast. also a big otp.

otp: sad a lot | tristan/lancelot

i was originally calling this ship “tristalot” which sounds like “triste a lot” which is french for “sad a lot”.

otp: up until this moment my wish was being granted | medea/souichirou

OTP TO RULE ALL OTPS. god i love these two. it’s a reference to what medea says in UBW when she dies. man i love these two so much.

otp: the jewel resting near my heart | rin/shirou

reference to the pendent rin gives shirou. may include rin/archer i’m not sure yet.

otp: let’s destroy the world! | kirei/gilgamesh

wow this is late on the list lol. the ship name is what they wanna do. kirei route when nasu.

otp: on the defense | hector/alter cu chulainn

both of them are known for being defensive characters, both in playstyle and in personality. they’re old, tired men let them nap.

otp: i may not always be by your side | issei/shirou

this is a line issei tells shirou in prillya. love these guys a lot. especially with rin.

otp: sword and sheath | saber/shirou

that’s what they are. saber is the sword and shirou is the sheath. no sexual jokes please. like them romantically and as friends.

otp: my wish is for her to live | medusa/sakura

purple girlfriends. love them. love heaven’s feel. reference to a line medusa tells shirou.

otp: my superman | sakura/shirou

OTP TO RULE ALL OTPS. the best ship in stay night with kuzucaster. i love heaven’s feel so much. they were what got me into drawing. i love them so much. reference to the superman scene in HF.

otp: two too pretty boys | diarmuid/gilgamesh

this is 100% because they are attractive guys. that is it. the ship name shows this.

otp: you cursed me | emiya alter/kiara

don’t @ me i like these two. emiya alter an alter because of kiara, hence the ship name.

otp: you were literally made for me | gilgamesh/enkidu

I DON’T HATE THIS SHIP WHY WOULD I TAG AND REBLOG IT SO MUCH IF I HATED THIS SHIP? I simply stated that I am tired of seeing it so much in the f/sf tags. I do like these two shhh. name is a reference to the fact that kidu was made for gil.

otp: lance to the heart and you’re to blame | kirei/cu chulainn

hello i love kotoyari. reference to the UBW ending. feb 14 isn’t valentines day it’s kotoyari day.

otp: your dream is mine | kiritsugu/irisviel

i can’t talk about this ship without crying just know i love them. iri wishes for his dream to come true.

otp: i wanted a saber anyways | rin/saber

just gals being pals you know . and originally rin wanted a saber.

otp: the woman was a saint | kirei/claudia

im not crying you’re crying. a line in the VN.

otp: you remind me of someone | paracelsus/phantom

no this isn’t just because they’re pretty boys lol. like the idea of them being good friends who help each other when the other goes berserk. 

otp: dancing with the devil | mephistopheles/paracelsus

there’s a lot of cool/interesting ship art between these two that’s really cool and i love. love the idea of them adopting jack. 

otp: fist of the north star to the heart | saint martha/sasaki kojiro

just wait until the summer event. love how koji has joined the dragon slayer’s group. hope he enjoys his new friends. you have to fight her at one point for koji’s development. it’s a joke about how her np is a fist of the north star joke.

otp: calm desert nights | nitocris/scheherazade 

reference to lalalack’s ‘desert beauty’ piece. they spend those nights in the desert exchanging stories, calming each other down. 

otp: how about we put it to the test? | li shuwen/beowulf

what beowulf says to li shuwen before they start their fight. they like to beat each other up and it’s great. 

otp: beat up a pretty face | beowulf/fionn mac cumhaill

who has the pretty face is up to you. reference to how fionn looks ephemeral in the beofionn art.

otp: a king and his knight | diarmuid/fionn

it’s their roles. yeah i know fionn “killed” him it’s fun. 

my chivalrous knight | diarmuid/saber

who is the knight and who is chivalrous? up to you!

otp: blue knights | cu chulainn/saber

only two people ship this there’s only two posts i wanna die

a queen and her knight | saber/irisviel

based on when saber acts as her knight (aka all of fate/zero) in f/z. doesn’t have otp cause i’m lazy. 

ot3: church trio | gilgamesh/kirei/cu chulainn

they live in the church lol.

ot3: we could have had it alllllll | sieg/jeanne d’arc/astolfo

based on the fact that apocrypha could have easily juggled the three of these into an ot3 but nope.

ot3: my two friends | gilgamesh/enkidu/kirei

there is only 1 piece of fanart in this tag but it’s a very good piece of fanart

ot3: this could have worked really well tbqh | kirei/gilgamesh/tokiomi

team archer could have been good if kirei didn’t get his dick sucked by gilgamesh.

ot3: princess president and prince | rin/issei/shirou

their roles - i think shirou should be a prince. i just really love rissei and shissei so why not combine them into an ot3 y/y?

group tag: aesthetic of death | gilles de rais, uryuu ryuunosuke, jeanne alter, prelati

i love these guys a lot okay? a lot of gilles/ryu because canon otp. was supposed to be art of death because of ryuunosuke's CE but it was mistranslated and i'm too lazy to change it!

group tag: equipe francaise | d’eon, marie, mozart, sanson 

they are cute but this tag is pushed by my thirst for mozart. the tag means “french team” which is basically what they are right?

brotp: my retainer | waver velvet/alexander the great

im sorry i can’t ship this romantically but they are cute together!

brotp: troy's defense | penthesilea, hektor

these two are good bros who break pots together and will rip achilles' open

League of Legends:

otp: spin to win | katarina/garen

this is about gameplay. garen is known for his e, which is a spin. the joke “spin to win” comes from that ability. since katarina also has a spin, spin to win works for these two.

otp: drasona | draven/sona

it’s just their ship name lol.

otp: takes two to tango | evelynn/twisted fate

reference to the twisted fate and evelynn shared tango skins. such a good ship. i love them and twisted fate/graves. league of legends please do something with these two i stg.

otp: partners in crime | twisted fate/graves

man this is the best lol ship man i wish lol would do anything with this ship that would be great i love my gay men. and they’re working together again! nice!

otp: the sun shines for you | leona/pantheon

i don’t know what lol is doing with these two if if they’re actually gonna be together and i love diana/leona too but i’ve always had a soft spot for these two. also? a great bot lane if you can stomp early. 

otp: it’s called art | jinx/jhin

to be honest i just think these two would be hilarious. let them just do whatever they want in piltover. 

otp: collecting souls | thresh/kalista

aesthetic and also a great botlane. i just love kalista tbh. ghost wife. 

otp: trying to keep the balance | shen/zed

wow the first otp for league of legends. good shit guys hope you guys get more content soon. 

If a ship you know I like is not on this list it’s probably just tagged as the ship name! I’m probably going to go through and create tags for each ship like these as I think of them. If you have suggestions for ship names let me know! 

#ship tags

[stevebabey]

Hi babes! For the 800 follows celebration. My name s Bee (You know that) I love reading, writing, musicals, art, and Star Wars. I love Cold brew coffee with a little bit of honey and cream. I have brown hair, and green hazel eyes with a yellow/gold ring around my pupil. I have a shit ton of freckles (you've seen). I love all types of music. Thank you my love!

bee my beautiful wife i larb u 

blog compliment: um bee your blog is full of so much quality™ content like shit i can’t even keep up, seriously i have NO idea how you constantly seem to pull beautiful and creative ideas outta ur beautiful ass like fuck! me! up! i love my wife

headcanons under the cut! this celebration is closed sorry pals i was just supa fucking slow at doing them 

okay first off my boy peter loves your name

he most definitely makes bad puns and nicknames off it

“you’re my bumblebee! wait, does that make me a flower? oh no, i don’t think that work–”

/disappointed stare because wtf peter seriously bumblebee/

“okay, listen, what about just bumble? no? okAY IM TRYING MY BEST”

peter just loves giving nicknames and he wants to give one to his girl like leave him, he’s doing his best

peter’s not so great at the reading & writing side of things so he makes sure to come to you

i mean he can but he also loves bugging you

cause peter’s a little shit

“beEeeeEeEe? can you come help me??”

with this little shit-eating grin that means i-don’t-really-need-help-i-just-want-your-attention

frantic calling when you just stand to leave

“nO i’m kidding coME BACK BEE IM SORRY”

he l o v e s that he can nerd out over geeky stuff with you

like let me tell you, there are some intense movie marathons with the two of you

there is definitely lots of detailed debates as well

the snape: is he good or bad? is frequent debate

but in the end, peter usually lets you win because he doesn’t like conflict between you guys

he’ll definitely grumble about it for a bit

but all you have to do is kiss him on the cheek and???

all problems solved

while he doesn’t drink the same kinda coffee as you

he tried it for you though & bleh

because peter’s not a coffee drinker, he prefers hot chocolates with lots & lots of marshmallows

he still makes an effort to either make it

it goes wrong more than half the time

or bring you a cup when he has spare change or is feeling particularly lovey dovey

you can always tell which days are the lovey dovey ones because he doodles on the cup

its adorable really

sometime it’s lil flowers and hearts

smiley faces too!!

when it a great day, he’ll put ‘peter + bee’ and just grin cheekily when he gives it to you

he adores the shit outta your freckles like

i can’t even begin to tell you the amount of love he holds for them its just????

he adores them so fucking much  

he constantly tells you too

like maybe you’ll just be working at your desk and he’ll come up behind you

awkwardly but still adorably rest his head atop of yours, grinning as you frown a lil

“i love your freckles”

“not now, pete, i have to get this done”

“they are like so cute, i don’t understand”

it’s so inconvenient because if anyone can make you blush it’s peter??

and you’re just like nOT NOW UGH NO STOP BLUSHING  

he’s totally not grinning and your red cheeks, no, that’s totally not why he compliment your freckles

he probably makes some comment like “are you blushing, pretty girl?” fhsdjdsf i hate izzy for making pretty girl my kink

and basically peter parker would be the best fucking boyfriend for you bee & i know u have nate so enjoy the fuck outta nate u lucky binch

#(me shouting from every rooftop to everyone who will listen) I LOVE BEE #she's my wife okay??????? #spideyyss 800 follower celebration #headcanons #i have to pack someone stab me

[pacman-tattoo]

... i hit 1000+?

wow

just...

wow.

i’m gonna be kinda sappy for a moment and say i’ve... never dreamed of hitting 300, let alone somehow manage to get to over 1000 - and i 100% mean that.

heck, i never expected to get more than ten notes on literally anything i’ve written tbh???

i never expected to have the friends that i have now, or the confidence that i’m gaining now when it comes to things like theatre and writing - hell, i was convinced i’d just go and force myself through culinary school and end up in some job that i’d probably end up tolerating rather than loving? hell, the future isn’t certain and who knows if i’ll end up on a stage anywhere - but at least if i do, it’ll be something i love

and just... so many things have changed over the past month and i’m honestly speaking when i say that:  i never expected any of it

so... i guess just... thank you? thank you all for following me and liking my content and talking to me and just... being there, i guess.

im just gonna thank a bunch of ppl because i fuckn love all of u <333333 sorry if stuff gets repetitive idk how many ways i can say ‘I LOVE U THANK U FOR SUPPORT HERE’S A SMOOCH’

to @sincerlyyme and @imdedicatingeverydaytoyou - the two people that actually got me into writing to begin with: thank you. so so fucking much. y’all are so sweet and i absolutely love you two because i never would have actually posted anything if it weren’t for the fact that you two inspired me a ton! plus i might have nearly cried when the two of u followed me so <33333

@earlyjunes @a-second-hand-sorrow @connormurphyobsessed @imagine-boyo @dear-alex-hansen and @huffleheck - the swan fam: I LOVE ALL OF U??? SO MUCH???? swan fam is best fam <3 especially because y’all??? are the sweetest babes???? i love all of u and support all of u and we all should talk more i swear (aka if y’all have discord, swan family discord + swan mama. speaking of swan mama...)

@polygenderselkie - i wasn’t gonna leave u off just put u separately: MY FAVE SWAN MOM <3 thank you for just being a huge influence in my life and being the mom that i’ve kind of needed as of recently tbh? if i’m ever feeling down, i know that you’ll def be there to give swan kisses n sweet words <3

@sarajanesmith42 / @connormurphyisbab: ren i love u so much dude. i’m glad you trusted me and messaged me and i’m glad to talk to you because w o w what a sweetheart??? you’re such a cool dude and i love seeing you happy because it’s such a nice thing tbh? love you a lot, dude <3

@protecting-my-legacy: MACKIE. I LOVE U. ur fics also inspire me a lot and i love your writing and i’m glad we can talk tbh??? uh what else can i say other than i love u and ur a cool babe and just. 10/10 i’m glad we can talk about fics n shit and just???? love u <3333

@waving-at-failed-words: MADDIE I LOVE U BECAUSE WE CAN NOT SLEEP TOGETHER AND IT’S GREAT. thank u for the bird and the sweet things you always put in the tags whenever u reblog my shit <3

@anotherstellarconversation & @luckyadd: u two have to deal with me not sleeping and u deserve an award for that tbh. alex, you’re such a cool bab and u know of my secret love for things and??? i love u a lot??? and lucky - i love ur art and i’m glad we can just talk about random memes n shit and iii am 100% sorry that i never sleep (which is gonna change soon, since... school.........)

@1two-player-game1: elizaaaa. my player one. my amigo. my icon buddy, my pal. i love u a lot tbh??? ur always such a sweetheart and u also have dealt with me not sleeping and u also deserve an award for that i swear 

(these are slowly getting shorter as i realize how many ppl i feel the need to thank jfc sorry babes)

@pleasedontatme​: CAT U COOL NERD I LOVE U AND UR WRITING???? ur poly fics inspire me a lot since.... i love poly fics a lot and they’re rare as far as i know??? love u 

@psychedemigod​: psy. i love u. so much. u make me laugh and u have given me ideas for shit and just??? ur so cool and i jUST RLY LOVE U OK <333 

@yikesjaredkleinman​: adam i love u alot and i’ve literally stayed up waiting for ur writing because its jUST SO GOOD???? UR SUCH A COOL DUDE AND <3333 LOVE U

@twoplayergaymers: i love u and i love talking to u and??? i just love u a lot dude <3333 (plus ur art??? im love <333)

and to two other GIANT NERDS who i love a lot:

@thebirdwitch and @commando-76: jfc how long have we been friends? i love both of you to the ends of the earth and i’m glad we’re all friends still tbh. you two put up with me talking about theatre and my singing and my stressed ranting/venting and your both... still here? which is... really, really weird honestly since i’ve opened up to people before and they’ve ended up leaving me one way or another - which sucks, but... i don’t blame them? i really love both of u and appreciate how much we’ve generally fucked around and our stupid jokes and laughing with you two over the panty raid one night because it was just a fucking stupid thing to say but it was hilarious because we were all tired little shits. love you guys. maybe someday we’ll actually meet face to face? i fucking hope so, honestly.

to anyone i haven’t thanked or ppl that quietly support or ppl that stay on anon: i love you guys too. you’re all always so sweet and i love you all a lot as well. sorry if i left you off this list - i don’t mean anything by it. i love u guys a lot and just <3333

thank you. for everything.

#bean talks #follower milestone

[glitteryhan-blog]

hannah's self-care guide!

hello all, it’s hannah (of course) and i was doing my nightly, before-bed routine and a wild thought drifted into my mind: “what if i made a self-care post on tumblr?” of course, this idea honestly took me aback a bit because why in the world would i want to do that? especially right now? but for some odd reason i felt like i should, so here we are! i use every single one of these tips (i guess you’d call them?) so theyre 100% hannah-certified! :•) enjoy — when you’re feeling sluggish (which happens to the best of us. sad, i know) i find it’s always best to start with the word “fresh.” think fresh. be fresh. (kool kidz do it best) so whatever floats your boat, do it!! below are the things that i do when im stuck in a lazy bubble of discomfort: 1) cleanse your face. i like to use a gentle facial soap with cool water to soothe my nerves. it helps. also, please don’t forget to moisturize. my skin is dry, (id obviously still moisturize if u have oily skin, too) so when i don’t moisturize, my skin gets tight and flaky. NOT a good stress-reliever at all. 2) eat an apple!! im not joking, this has to be one of the best things ive done for myself the entire summer. apples have more caffeine-based content than coffee, so you’ll get out of your slump in no-time! plus, they smell amazing, come in different colors, make a really nice crunching noise, and also have lots of water-content for people who are like me and only drink 1-2 glasses of water a day 3) go on a walk. not a jog, unless you’re into that. walking is so therapeutic for me, personally i prefer to stick to roads and not travel on paths in woods in such: walking into spiderwebs and getting ticks on you (as well as other bugs) is not very fun. at all. but once again, whatever floats your boat is what you’re meant to do: so if it means going on a walk in the woods, then do it!! 4) i absolutely love social media, but it honestly is so, so, so, SO bad to be on it as much as i am: especially instagram. one thing ive been doing lately is actually deleting the app for a day or two and doing other things (yes, even other social-platforms) BESIDES scrolling on instagram for an hour straight. not good at all. 5) but if push comes to shove and i DO want to be on instagram, i like to look at accounts that lift my spirits and set my path straight! a few* i love are: peachristine, ensommielle, (ive been following her for years, even when she had her other account!) s0ultrippin_, thetipvilla, henniemonclair, (the most beautiful art, i want to have a commission with her someday) wholesomememes, and miraleai (the sweetest girl on earth, someone once said i reminded them of her!! what a compliment!!) *ah, this was a lot more than a few, im sorry! 6) watch a movie that you LOVE. it doesn’t matter if it’s “made for kids.” it doesn’t matter if it’s “too creepy.” it doesn’t matter!! a good film always cheers me up, i love the harry potter films (i like to choose the earlier ones if i want a mood-lift, later ones if i need to let out a good cry. it helps) as well as coraline! so good! i also love cartoon network cartoons, they’re great 7) lotion ! that’s it ! i cannot stress how important having a bottle of lotion is to me, it’s insane. as i mention previously, i have rather dry skin so lotion is everything. i love to put it on my feet, elbows, legs, and use a facial moisturizer (i do my face in the bathroom paired w my cleansing) before i go to bed, because when u wake up !! surprise !! you’re angelically smooth 8) shaving my legs and under-arms! everyone talks about how they HATE shaving and i just don’t understand? i love it! it’s very therapeutic for me, the repetitive motions as well as the smooth feeling afterwards. pure bliss. i personally like more lotion-y creams when i shave opposed to foamy ones, because i can “navigate” better as to where im shaving. conditioner is a GREAT shaving cream when im in a pinch!! 9) pet a pet! when im feelin down, our animals make me honestly super happy. just sitting down to pay attention to what your furry-pal is trying “to say” to you is so precious. don’t take your time with them for granted!! 10) write. writing is so nice, even if it doesn’t make sense. pick up a pen (or pencil, marker, crayon, whatever u like) and create! that’s it! challenge yourself to write for the heck of it, not to try to make it seem aesthetically pleasing or pretty or !! really anything of the sort. just let your emotions out, whether they’re good or bad! (or whether it be through a poem, song, story, etc) — i hope you guys enjoyed a few of these tips and maybe, possibly, inspired you to treat yourself to a little personal pamper-time. u deserve it.

cheers, hannah

#self-care guide

[sorrowedvigil]

HELLO PALS

Sorry to come back with such yucky news, but honestly is anyone surprised? A lot has happened since I...quietly disappeared and floated gently of the planet (come join me, I have tea). Good things, for example, like moving into a new place and acceptance top my top grad program (with a grant)! And I took an extended social media break, as you’ve noticed.  Not because anything happened! I just realized too much of my life was spent around maintaining my blogs. Somewhere between that realization, and how little energy I had to spare, I made the decision to slowly begin to let go.  

So, here’s what happens next.

I’m not deleting any of my blogs.  In fact, I may continue to roleplay on them! But, more likely than not, I’ll keep them open for occasional check-ins on my favorite people (hint: u).  If I unfollowed you from another account, it’s just my way of gently cutting them down to inspiration blogs. I’m not upset with anyone! I pinky promise.

SHOULD I UNFOLLOW?

No? Yes? Well, you can if you want.  Obviously I’m rarely here.  But I may still post drabbles and headcanons on this and my other old mains.

WHERE CAN YOU FIND ME NOW? 

Well, here. This is going to be my new hub for writing. I have several sideblogs attached to serve for different characters, or even just different...aus for characters (yes, yes I fell back into HP along the way).  Feel free to ask if you want to follow, but realize I can’t follow back.... bc sideblogs.  In order to keep myself from becoming overwhelmed, and to keep from disappointing you with wasting your time and energy, I’m going to be extremely selective about the threads I start from now on. ANYONE can tumblr message or im me AT ANY TIME (even if we’ve never talked, or even if it’s been a while since we did). However, I’m going to be very careful in giving out other means of contact, for the same reason.  I’ll get pulled in so many directions, I will end up giving none of them my full attention.

There’s also my personal, which I’m also not on that much anymore but idkmaybeyouwerecuriousorsomething....

BUT SAM, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WRITING?

Whatever I diddly dang want, you kids! No, but mainly, I’ll be continuing the themes I began on LETHANAVIIR ( Falon’Din ), GHILANNAIIN ( uh..Ghilan’nain ), ELVHENANRISING, and here! ...Along with some new characters.  I mean, it’s one sideblog per muse, so don’t fret about getting overwhelmed by a multi-muse, or feeling like you have to follow all of them just for the content of one.  Follow one, or all of them! Or none.  Bye :’(

CAN WE WRITE TOGETHER?

Sure, probably. You can always ask!  What I’m trying to accomplish is being kind to myself efficient with my organization, so I won’t have to log in to 6 different places just to see if Bob from accounting sent me a message on one of them. Furthermore, I crave longterm development, and deep interaction, and lots of intimate ooc plotting that I just can’t get in the same way when I’m balancing 70+ drafts per blog!  I’m looking for character dynamics and worldbuilding that we can let go on....forever if we wanted.

WOAH, SAM, ARE THOSE DRABBLES?

-Asked no one. Why, yes!  Since it’ll be a quieter setting, I may write drabbles from time to time. With your permission, and if I know your muse(s) well enough, I may include them.  Some of you old timers may remember I used to get drabble requests here all the time, especially from @artemorteand @swevenfox and I feel that getting those prompts so early on helped strengthen who Abelas is to me a tremendous deal, and I am so grateful to them both for that.  If we follow each other, and you send me prompts, expect me to return the favor. (If you follow me, but I don’t follow you, you can still send me prompts - if they fit what I view possible, I may treat your prompt as a request and write it specially for you!)

Anyway, this was obviously a long time coming.  I tried to put it off, but it’s not fair to any of you for me to explode from the bushes and disappear into the darkness after yowling into the night and stealing a banana from your plate.

I love you guys lots, PLEASE feel free to reach out to me if you want to stay in contact, plot, or get the names of my blogs. Or all of the above! This goes for mutuals and personals alike.  Don’t feel badly if I don’t follow you back <3 that doesn’t mean I don’t want to stay in touch, I swear.  I’m only going to follow back if we’re actually writing together. However, I will be honest if I need to be quiet, ic and ooc.  Please be aware that I may not be comfortable chatting.  But I will tell you kindly, and early on.

Take care of yourselves!  You’ll see me here every so often, just so you never think old elf grandpa isn’t watching your sins.  He does, and he knows. Always.

#✮ ┅ ❛ ᵇᵉʸᵒⁿᵈ ˢᵒʳʳᵒʷˢ { sᴄʀɪʙᴇ } #✮ ┅ ❛ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʳⁱᵗᵉʳ { sᴄʀɪʙᴇ } #probably gonna get reposted a few times

[beyondstr8]

1-150🤧

@tellmeonasunday​ I should have kept my mouth shut.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My most recent ex.2. Are you outgoing or shy? Half and half, depending on my mood and how comfortable i am with you.3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My best friend when she comes home again4. Are you easy to get along with? 99% of the time yes5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I mean I’d hope so6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Those who are goal oriented, want to achieve things in life, can joke around a lot and i’m working on surrounding myself with positive people.7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I have no idea.8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? I don’t like guys but Jason Momoa can get it no matter how gay i might be9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? If it’s someone I just met or came out to and they say “so how does lesbian sex work? is it even sex? nothing gets inserted right?” I’m a lil uncomfortable.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Amy or Savannah11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “I haven’t kissed anyone in a year and i’m dying” lmfaooooo12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Oh man... I’m on an Amine, Kane Brown, Khalid, and Metallica kick currently so basically anything by them.13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Jesus fuck yes 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I think so15. What good thing happened this summer? Finally got in touch with myself16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Fuck no she owes me money lmao17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes, there’s no way that all of the life in the universe happens to be where we stand.18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No, I don’t talk to my kindergarten teacher’s daughter.19. Do you like bubble baths? I don’t want to marinate in my own filth20. Do you like your neighbors? Considering my neighbor is my grandma, i think shes okay.21. What are you bad habits? Biting my fingernails when i have anxiety22. Where would you like to travel? Literally anywhere I haven’t been23. Do you have trust issues? Only if I get a bad vibe from someone24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Hyping myself up for work in the morning with music25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My tummy.26. What do you do when you wake up? Snooze my alarm and go tf back to sleep27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m content with it28. Who are you most comfortable around? Savannah, my best friend29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No30. Do you ever want to get married? Absolutely31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? It has been every day so far32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Ruby Rose and Carrie Underwood33. Spell your name with your chin. No thank you34. Do you play sports? What sports? I played softball for 14 years.35. Would you rather live without TV or music? I don’t watch tv anyways36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes37. What do you say during awkward silences? Whatever is on my mind38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Shorter than me, a little feminine but not high maintenance like always having their hair/nails done, smart, funny af, gotta be a good friend, and they gotta like me back39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Target, Tjmaxx, bealls, and Bass pro40. What do you want to do after high school? I went to college for a year on a softball scholarship, then became an emt and now i’m working at target41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I either don’t like you at all or i’m secretly in love with you43. Do you smile at strangers? I try to44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? The ocean is my shit45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? The paycheck46. What are you paranoid about? Nothing that i can think of47. Have you ever been high? No48. Have you ever been drunk? i wouldn’t say drunk, but i was feeling it49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? my mom would kill me if she found out i drink50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red51. Ever wished you were someone else? not really52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? How quickly i let my guard down53. Favourite makeup brand? i don’t wear makeup54. Favourite store? Target55. Favourite blog? mine lmao56. Favourite colour? blue, always will be57. Favourite food? anything that’s bad for me, particularly chocolate and pasta and breads58. Last thing you ate? chocolate lmfao59. First thing you ate this morning? Strawberry frosted pop tarts60. Ever won a competition? For what? Yes for a lot of things61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? I’ve never even had a detention lol62. Been arrested? For what? no63. Ever been in love? thought i was64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Lmfaooooo it was my best friend65. Are you hungry right now? I’m always hungry66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I don’t have any tumblr friends67. Facebook or Twitter? facebook68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? No70. Names of your bestfriends? Savannah, Katie, and Amy71. Craving something? What? Love and affection and chocolate72. What colour are your towels? blue72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 173. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? maybe like.. 475. Favourite animal? Doggos76. What colour is your underwear? Grey77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate fudge brownie79. What colour shirt are you wearing? white80. What colour pants? I’m not wearing pants lol81. Favourite tv show? That 70′s show, reba, friends82. Favourite movie? Forrest Gump, Moana83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? the gay guy, i forgot his name86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? the little shrimp guy87. First person you talked to today? Jas88. Last person you talked to today? Jas lmao89. Name a person you hate? Trump and his whole cabinet90. Name a person you love? my momma91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Trump and his whole cabinet92. In a fight with someone? Trump and his whole cabinet93. How many sweatpants do you have? 4 pairs94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? i have like 5 but i only wear 195. Last movie you watched? Moana or the water boy96. Favourite actress? Sandra Bullock currently97. Favourite actor? tom hanks or adam sandler98. Do you tan a lot? No i go straight from white to red99. Have any pets? No100. How are you feeling? content but tired101. Do you type fast? on my phone yes102. Do you regret anything from your past? I just wish i said something sooner103. Can you spell well? yes104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes106. Ever broken someone’s heart? im not sure107. Have you ever been on a horse? when i was like 4 at a fair108. What should you be doing? probably sleeping109. Is something irritating you right now? how many fucking questions there are110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? oh yes111. Do you have trust issues? kind of112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? i rarely cry in front of people but probably my mom113. What was your childhood nickname? Steph, always has been114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes115. Do you play the Wii? no116. Are you listening to music right now? always117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? when im sick118. Do you like Chinese food? noooooo119. Favourite book? the Crank series by ellen hopkins120. Are you afraid of the dark? only if i hear something121. Are you mean? no, i try to be as nice as possible but if you fuck w my friends its going down122. Is cheating ever okay? fuck no123. Can you keep white shoes clean? also fuck no124. Do you believe in love at first sight? i believe in the click125. Do you believe in true love? im not sure126. Are you currently bored? no i have plenty of questions to answer127. What makes you happy? getting good amounts of sleep, meeting deadlines at work, and my best friend128. Would you change your name? no129. What your zodiac sign? cancer130. Do you like subway? yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? sorry pal132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? savannah or amy133. Favourite lyrics right now? so many, idk134. Can you count to one million? if i had the time and patience135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i hid my dad’s wallet from him when i was like 4 and i said i didnt know where it was136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed af137. How tall are you? 5′8138. Curly or Straight hair? mine is the straightest part about me139. Brunette or Blonde? blonde as hell140. Summer or Winter? summer141. Night or Day? daytime but im also a night owl ???142. Favourite month? june bc of my birthday and its halfway through the year143. Are you a vegetarian? no144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? all, but dark145. Tea or Coffee? medium mocha iced coffee with cream and sugar from dunkin146. Was today a good day? it’s payday, its friday, and i don’t work for 4 days. 147. Mars or Snickers? snickers148. What’s your favourite quote? i can’t think of anything rn but probably something cheesy149. Do you believe in ghosts? idk about “ghosts” but i believe in spirits150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Of course, i know he has to work until 5:30″ (via catscuddlingandyou)