#im so full of fucking rage

[3knecrotic]

I. Am so. Fucking. Conflicted.

#dk speaks #vent #im so full of fucking rage #this pure boiling fucking anger #with Nothing to direct it to. #me? been there done that got the Junkie Ass Carving #her? she doesnt fucking deserve it. if i just had basic self con-fucking-trol we wouldn't even be In this mess in the first place #i am a god damn timebomb and i have No clue when or who I'll explode on. #at least when im high or drunk or on Anything that rage subsides. #no anger. no ticking. just pleasantries and sociability and joy and calm. #but when im sober? god forbid if i am Forced to be sober? #pft. i can't wait to see the God damn fireworks #because hopefully then it'll mean I've hurt everyone who could Ever care for me #or I've gone so far i pull a trigger before I can even Conceive the trauma I'll cause. #either way. i hurt. #if i get high the way i like to. i hurt. #if i stay sober for too long and get back to my regularly scheduled Thoughts. I Hurt. #there's pain either way. #fact of the matter is who am i gonna force to get it. #me. #or all. #let's find the fuck out.

[ahalliance]

wishing certain qsmp fans a very Stop Being Fucking Misogynists

#im not wading into twitter but from what ive heard from my friends: very big fuck you to #anyone shitting on bagz yet praising etoiles (or antoine or aypierre) for their statements #in no fucking way did she condemn quack she quite literally says she has full confidence in him #‘thank you etoiles for being a true friend’ etoiles would tear you apart and mock you out of his tchat live on stream if you sent that #just because he is friendly and is a fan favourite of many (aka: your favourite disposable guy who exists only to hype up your precious fave #does not mean he would tolerate ur fucking asses for a second get out #nor would he tolerate any messages like that in his tchat get fucking real #jay rants #boiling with rage #baghera has been so fucking dedicated since the goddamn second she stepped foot on this server and it is making my blood curl with how #deeply sexist these people have been and continue to be #discourse

[thevampirearchive]

There’s something I've been meaning to say but I haven't had the words till now. There is something that deeply upsets me about witnessing stories where villains, who are literal killers, fall in love and somehow become good or act outside of what is expected from them. I love love, love is beautfiul, it is powerful and it can truly change a lot. But to sit, and write a killer suddenly go "actually, this one can stay because I am in love for the first time" is such a weird concept to me. Is this happening because as a sociaty we're trying to convince ourselves that deeply disturbed people can be cured by the power of love? That if they just find the right person, they would stop the masacer? or at least no longer feel the need to kill how they were or at least let their person live? And I am not mad at the love, I do belive anyone can fall deeply in love, but my issue is with how it ends. I want to witness the unthinkable — I want to see is exactly what we expect but hoped won't happen, happening. A gut wrenching truth that stays true to who we have been witnessing, despite the "I can change them" dance. And perhaps people hate this idea because they want to belive that anyone can change if only they meet the right one, or that we can change the monsters in our lives with affection, but trust most likly is that they cannot be changed. And I can understand that to some this is then seen as an illusion. "oh then this was never true love", why can the two not exist? Do we not hurt those we love? Maybe not kill them, but someone elses hurt could feel like a small death to me, and vice versa.

Examples, so that you are not confused as to what I am reffering too;

Killing Eve; I stopped watching when Villanelle was shown shooting Eve. It felt true to her character, even if it hurt. She is a killer, we knew that and so did Eve. Regardless of her love, that was what was always going to happen so why were we given additional seaons of this fanatsy of a declawed Villanelle?

Hannibal; It should have ended with the death of Will, and possibly Hannibal consuming him. Didn't Hannibal say that the consumption of Will would somehow join them in a deeper way?Something so disturbing that only could make sense to a serial killing-cannibal. And I would have watched with wide eyes, and gone to sleep staring at the ceiling.

Interveiw With The Vampire; Louis' death in the hand of a Lestat would have made sense, and despite his dramatics, Lestat would have not committed suicide but instead burried himself in deep regret untill he was too numb to his own feelings that he could return to the world of the living. He would have never forgotten Louis, nor what he did, but he would have moved on beause Lestat is not a good person. He's deeply disturbed and Louis knew this. I don't even aknoclege that beatdown episode because Lestat may be a killer, but he's a drama queen first and formost. Louis' death would have been poetic, beautiful and grusom like a greek tragedy without an audiance.

Bonus - Twilight; I could not end without adding my own favorite, and despite this path never being teased to the audiance the same way the other's were, I would have loved the book simply ending because Edward did as he said he would - drained Bella like a Caprisun on a hot summer day. Because what is love agaisnt animalistic urgase (I understand why it is much hotter that he is simply so retsrained and devoted that he resists her, but I'd pay good money for an AU)

At the end of it all, I think want I want is for sociaty to get over the idea that a good woman, love or any form of kindness can change who some people are. Love can do many things - look at crimes of passion! And to some extend I belive that these villain's love were true, possibly not the way we imagine them - which is less so "I love you too" and more so, "wow, finally someone I can manipulate and obsess over. Someone who I can mold, someone who is alone in the world like me" only to realize that is not true.

So why do we make love into what it isnt? Even when the scene is set for us to be shown the truth, writers and the audiance always make the plot lean towards whatever fits so that we can have that "happy ending".

Honorable mentions;

God should have killed Lucifer, I know the bible and christianity is not technically fiction for all, but the idea that he is forgivin but lets the biggest meanness HE CREATED terrorize everybody is evil. Take him out or let somebody else do it homie.

#thoughts #twilight #hannibal #killing eve #interview with the vampire #vc #horror #thriller #Not to mention I don't belive a lot of these characters love their love interest instead its as I said obsession / Lonliness / Control / Co #consumption* gluttony #envy and the love interest love being the center of their univers or at least a patr of their world #not for a second would bella have been intrigued if edward just left her alone lmao yes he's hot to her but thats it #second she finds out hes a vampire her eyes get big and she's ready to die just to join! Its all giving cult! #Hannibal was ready to take will as a apprentece at the end with the way Will was going full force #Louis finally was the deep dakr monster that hid underneith it all - rage he couldnt unleash but now as he is a vampire its a free for all #but see how will hates it? how louis recognizes that he is not truly evil just has urges to act in evil ways? #bella is unhinge so like I cannot defend my first born lesbian daughter that was her thru and thru lmao she was tehre for strap (edward) an #anti anging (vampireism) if id written it she woul dhave said fuck them kids and simply terminated lmao had carlile change her and live her #best life with alice purr #jasper being a racist is also on par lmao ppl always mention it and im like yeah bestie they are ancient vampires id be suspsicious if one- #wanst a KKK member and they were all white lmao #its not funny haha but imma still laugh

[neutral-party]

this show and its characters has taken hold of me.....

(click image for better quality!)

#a league of their own #aloto #lupe garcia #jess mccready #uh sorry for absolute radio silence in terms of art lately!! have been going thru major art block #ANYWAYS this show.. holy fuck it was so fucking good #if amazon cancels this or paper girls then im gonna be full of rage #my art

[sharp-tooths]

Thinking about the fact that Knives loved western movies as a kid and liked the idea of gunslingers and how after the crash he took the gun from a man he killed and gave it to vash, not only because he wanted his brother to protect himself and join him in killing humans, but because he thought gunslingers were cool. He gave Vash a gun cause he thought having his brother be a gunslinger on a desert planet would be cool. Just like a western movie.

Im dying

#trigun stampede #millions knives #vash the stampede #im just gonna go lie on the floor and cry for a while again #kni at the ripe old age of maybe 7 years old: #my names going to be millions knives #and my brother is going to be a cool gunslinger #and were going to protect our people and kill all of humanity! #im sobbing #on one hand i can see why vash would still so readily forgive him despite the things hes done that alot of ppl would find irredeemable #but also. kni has already been so blindingly consumed by his fear fuled rage #that hes come full circle and doesnt realize hes committed the very same acts he condemns humans for doing to plants #on the very people he was trying to protect #his brother and all the remaining dependent plants #and i personally think the way he went about it was so much more unforgivable and horrific #cause what the ever loving FUCK that was in episode 11 makes me want to puke #and in the beginning of episode 12 i actually almost did #i didnt mean to start ranting in the tags i just have FEELINGS #trigun stampede spoilers

[starstaiined]

*deep inhale*

I LOVE THE CARPENTER SISTERS SO FUCKING MUCH, LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW

#did i cave today and rewatch it in theaters #yes yes i did #the angst potential i have for both of them #im working on full character studies rn #idk if ill post them but god they gut me #scream vi #scream #tara carpenter #sam carpenter #like please #lets talk about sams parentification and guilt complex #or taras suffocating abandonment issues and thinly repressed fucking rage #or how they both love each other SO MUCH but have such drastically different ways of showing it #and so they're stuck in this cycle of miscommunication #and thinking the other hates them #god im on the floor

[neurotypical-sonic]

thinking about bpd amy

#scenario in my head of amy splitting on sonic and its really bad #its before she was diagnosed and shes full just so much hurt and rage and hate thats its PAINFUL and she doesnt know WHY #and sonic doesnt know what the fuck hes done wrong to make her act like this to him and its. yeah. its not good #after shes diagnosed shes so scared to tell her friends because she thinks having bpd makes her a bad person and theyll all hate her #and leave her #which makes it worse sjdjdjd but she eventually does tell them and it goes okay!! #sonics like 'i have no idea what that is so nice ig?? or sorry that happened??' shdjdn #but they all understand it better and shes better at coping with it and recognising when she needs to leave until she calms down #shes on mood stabilisers now 💗 #her relationships with her friends become more stable and healthy especially with sonic theyre FRIENDS now!! #she takes responsibility for her past action and apologises and explains why she was like that and why she is the way she is now #he accepts her apology and they work on becoming better friends and how to support each other better #im just!! EMOTIONAL!!!!! #egg.txt #amy #sonicposting #bpd #neurodiversity

[arcadequeerz]

I just do not give a single shit about lg-bt-q disc-ourse anymore.

#Cade.Txts #sorry i jsut do not care. #i dont give a fuck about what flag someone does or doesn't use #i dont care about what people call themselves. stop trying to decide shit for othrr people #shut up and fuck off n leave people alone. u dont havr to 'understand' to be respectful #Idc if people use the blue 'gay' flag who cares. use whatever flag u want. #shut the fuck up about mspec gay people we're doing nothing wrong n if i have someone try n start #some shit w me about how i personally identify i will maul them through the god damn internet. shut up. #eat shit. i dont owe a explanation to u about why i'm abro ply gay n if u demand me to explain #im going to tell you to fuck off. #who the fuck cares what people call themselves. u might not like being called queer or whatever n thats cool #but some people do and thats nit a fucking slight aganst u. #and i say 'you' as just in general i guess. this isn't pointed at a specific person. #i dread pride month every year because people r going to throw some shitfit about something snd i jsut #i dont care. can we care about shit that fucking matters instead. #if u legimately call urself a exclusionist in 2023 your a shitstain and do nothing for the community. #grow the fuck up or get the fuck off the internet. #sorry i saw shit n i got mad lol. i'm so tired of peoples bullshit. worry about shit tht matters n not #how someone else identifies or what someone calls themselves- or what flag someone uses. #i'm just going to be unabashedly full of rage now. #i'm queer n trans n im pissed the end.

[ursamajori]

[id: a picture of the “full of milk” cat meme, the cat is edited to look like kurapika from hunter x hunter. his eyes are red and he is angry. there is an arrow pointing to him that says “full of rage”. end id]

so i’ve been reading hxh recently. pretty good stuff

#hunter x hunter #hxh #kurapika #kurapika kurta #image described #i’m on ch 51 started last night so i’m getting through quickly enough #love this guy. #also when tagging hunter x hunter like once i put the x in a ship for a certain owl character and someone Gross came up #so now IM full of rage! #FORGOT TO TAG HIS FULL NAME THATLL PROBABLY HELP #no fuck it okay this is art #astrophel art #starspeak

[opens-up-4-nobody]

I desperately need to be a scene kid for Halloween this year

#idk y but i suddenly realized that im an adult and could potentially buy the goth bullshit at hot topic #that 12yo me desperately desired. and then i was like oof but i like the contrast of color #like i think i really wanted to be somewhere between scene and emo really #but thrn i was looking at scene outfits and im like woof. this is the kinda cringe i love. all thr fucking patterns. all thr colors #i even have thr 1nvader z1m graphic tees in my closet... i think #i just dont kno how tf to do that to my hair and also i dont have actual makeup lol #but i must be a scene kid for Halloween. i want the most ostentatious outfit. oh god im gonna have to go to the mall #i havent been to the mall in ages. i need to go to hot topic and claires. is pacsun still around? do they still sell skinny jeans? #i feel like everythings all bland now in stores. where tf do i go to get early 00s and 2010s clothes #good will maybe??? oh god. its like 3.30am and my hormones r all fucked up so i was experiencing like the type of fear you have when youre #like a little kid in a dark room by yourself. its not fair. when my hormones shift it goes: im so depressed to im full of rage ill kill u #to the world is so fucking beautiful im gonna kill myself. like in a not worrying way idk how else to express the feeling. to the type of #unhinged and undirected fear that belongs to a kid who doesnt kno shit. also lil heart palpitations and sometimes feeling like im gonna die #its bullshit. y does my body hate me? ugh. at least ive got a Halloween plan now #unrelated #oh god. dont let me cut myself bangs. im trying to grow my hair back out lol. im an emo with no bangs

[thefandomcassandra]

nothing quite like realizing "oh my vocabulary is irreparably damaged" quite like playing Spirit of Justice and calling Gaspen Payne "girl" the second he says some bullshit.

"girl" isn't a gendered term when said in exasperation, it's just a word. full italics.

#the sheepy speaks #ace attorney spirit of justice #i also want to play 32 pickup with nahyuta's teeth #snap that eggshell bitch like a pretzel stick #fucking hate him #give him some kind of interesting thing going on otherwise hes just a condescending fuckhead #say im going to hell one more time #use the word putrid one more time #ill fucking take you by the braid and slam your head into the prosecution's bench #i am full of unbridled rage and would rather deal with godot than nahyuta #i did see one of my good time boys in the chapter select screen for 6-4 so im hype

[bluejaybytes]

Actually if I'm talking about Pokemon today. Everyone please look at and admire my newest daughter.

She took me ~200+ hours and 21,810 encounters. I was closer to triple odds than double. I've been hunting this goddamn Skarmory for well over a year at this point. I nearly failed the battle. I have never felt more simultaneous stress and relief in my entire life

#this FUCKING Skarmory. THIS SKARMORY!!!! TOOK ME SO GODDAMN LONG #I HAVE SPENT. MORE TIME TRYING TO FIND A SKARMORY TO NAME 'ALOY'. THAN I HAVE IN 3 FULL PLAYTHROUGHS OF HZD. SCREAMS #genuinely a fucking nightmare of a hunt also yes im ignoring that the skarmory is male #also this isnt just a one off name either I'm naming my entire shiny only playthroughs worth of shinies after Horizon characters #I've got Talanah (my starter Feraligatr + also male but im ignoring that) #Petra (Sandslash from the Game Corner + the only hunt where the gender of the Pokemon matches the gender of the character) #Beta (Beedrill. also i initially wanted a mareep for this hunt but the area where I could hunt one had too many bad choices if i phased) #and HADES but he's getting booted off the team soon (the lake of rage Gyarados. once my next hunt pans out I'm ditching him) #anyways i entered the battle with 40 ultra balls and a handful of other ball types. i ended it with 6 left. #anyways shoutout to gar my bestie gar who actually knows pokemon and had to give me step by step instructions on how not to fail it

[savageboar]

i have to keep telling myself it'll get better. my life will get better. i just have to live long enough to see it.

#because of my mom just completely getting worse and worse in her emotional abuse for no fucking reason #im like so close to having a full blown breakdown one of these days #and if she keeps treating claire like trash over natural territorial behavior i just might #she's my baby. we've had her for over ten years now. #she's getting old. she doesn't deserve this. #she's the reason i haven't killed myself yet #i don't understand people who treat animals like toys #i can't take it anymore #she's the reason i fucking drink!!! it makes everything hurt less!!! #she doesn't fucking see what's right in front of her eyes because she refuses to admit that she could be the problem!!! #when she dies i don't even know if i could fucking contain my rage at her funeral #fuck her i hope she rots and finally has a use as food for the maggots #hades.txt

[roachemoji]

ME EXPERIENCING THE SYMPTOMS BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE THINGS

#bo posting #i literalLY cannot catch a break #i cant catch a break i just #wanT #to #breTH JESUS #like i AHHHHHHHHHHH #holy FUCK #good fuckAKSDJHSHAKJDKJHASAHKJLSD #AUGH #i am full of rage right now #if one more thing happens #i genuinely don't know what im gonna do #like i am being so fucking serious right now at the end of my fucking rope!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i cant DO this anymore. #GOOD FUCKING LORD

[lavender-eyed-lies]

Man I'm getting real sick of this autism shit.

One moment I'm fine, the next moment someone tries to talk to me while I'm typing out a reply and it's just like I'm engulfed in the flames of fury that would put the sun to shame!

AND I GOTTA BE THE ONE TO CALM MYSELF DOWN BUT I DONT WANNA BE CALM I WANNA SCREAM AND THROW SHIT!

But noooo I gotta be DOMESTICATED and DOCILE and CIVIL

FUCK CIVIL I WANNA FUCKING BURN SHIT!!!!

#autistic rage #full on meltdown mode #i hate it here #i need to have a rage room in my own house #Like ill be fine after I break a few lamps #and it sounds so scary but like i suppress it so hard i just come off mildly pissed #when in reality im so fucking close to losing my shit #my bf is a fucking saint #my guys just like : Ima be cute #and its so sweet but it still doesnt help lol

[trashworldblog]

honestly my roman empire is the people at the people at the skincare kiosk at the woodfield mall in schaumburg illinois who were really rude and insulting to my 80+ year old grandmother multiple times as we passed by. fuck everything that led up to that from higher ups tying their wages to their sales to the actual workers insulting her.

#it was straight up harassment and im still mad a year later like. what the fuck. #yeah dude she doesnt have perfect skin. maybe due to the god damn world war #women cannot just exist in this society without being harassed and i am so angry about it #i am full of rage