#no anger. no ticking. just pleasantries and sociability and joy and calm.

[3knecrotic]

I. Am so. Fucking. Conflicted.

#dk speaks #vent #im so full of fucking rage #this pure boiling fucking anger #with Nothing to direct it to. #me? been there done that got the Junkie Ass Carving #her? she doesnt fucking deserve it. if i just had basic self con-fucking-trol we wouldn't even be In this mess in the first place #i am a god damn timebomb and i have No clue when or who I'll explode on. #at least when im high or drunk or on Anything that rage subsides. #no anger. no ticking. just pleasantries and sociability and joy and calm. #but when im sober? god forbid if i am Forced to be sober? #pft. i can't wait to see the God damn fireworks #because hopefully then it'll mean I've hurt everyone who could Ever care for me #or I've gone so far i pull a trigger before I can even Conceive the trauma I'll cause. #either way. i hurt. #if i get high the way i like to. i hurt. #if i stay sober for too long and get back to my regularly scheduled Thoughts. I Hurt. #there's pain either way. #fact of the matter is who am i gonna force to get it. #me. #or all. #let's find the fuck out.