#im proud of my trans identity!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zan0tix · 2 months

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Hi tumblr user Zan0tix, I have to say that I love that you draw Jake as big and hairy AND fem. It's such a rare combination outside of mean-spirited caricatures, every time I see your Jake I get a big smile on my face. :)

Hi tumblr user HermitCyclop ^u^ here is a jake drawing for you 🫶

The transmisogynistic demonisation of these features is so maddening!!! I agree! Im glad that the intent (appreciating these features) of my jake design reaches you c:

GOING TO PUT IT UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. But jake english gender meta because i think about it Too Much and am taking this as an excuse to infodump abt it. 😁

The alpha kids and their specific defiance of both homestucks gendered narrative AND real life societal expectations are so fun to think about to me!! but since we are talking about jake, his specific defiance of both homestucks models of masculinity and femininity in the context of his queerness is like the reason he is my fav character.

He props himself up that he wants to be the adventure "hero" in the homestuck sense (the hardheaded blue femme fatale) and the western media sense (the hardheaded action man) yet whenever pressed to actually act on what he says he always refuses or obfuscates. Because really what he wants is to just be himself! I really love the alpha kids because they all just want to be Themselves, not be restricted and defined by what is expected of them, (all the characters have this but the alphas particularly really hammer this home for me)

The heavy emphasis on their beta selves, the heteronormative archetypes they embodied and what went wrong in their lives that manifest as fears in their alpha selves... im always thinking about it. How differently society affects queer ppls choices in life and then the fact that they all get a second chance and getting to watch them live out that second chance and realize their queerness and them all caring so much abt eachother and wanting to aspire to be better FOR the ones they love!!!!!! it always tugs at my heart strings to ponder😢😢

IM SO GOOD AT GOING ON TANGENTS MY BAD but basically. The alpha kids explicit queerness and how despite the comic itself protesting, they are all shown to be deserving of love (of all kinds) And as a person who super heavily relates to jake, his experience with his own identity (and dirks unending adoration and love for him and likewise jakes belief and admiration of dirk) serves to me as a reminder that yknow! We are all worthy of love!! Even if we dont think ourselves to be (this is just the message of shrek.) and there is always hope to be found in things improving!!!!

But in a text thats explicitly queer and not shy about letting its queer characters do wrong in realistic ways i think this message is incredibly powerful and certainly one of the best things about the comic in my eyes. And i love embracing that in my art of the characters! Drawing queer (but here specifically trans) characters all getting to be proud of themselves and their appearances makes me feel proud of myself alongside them and I think its wonderful to be able appreciate other trans peoples experiences and looks through it too!!

I specifically in homestuck fandom dont really see anybody but twinks (usually dirk or eridan LMFAO) portrayed to be fem in any manner 😢 when jake is the most explicitly feminine man in the comic. (I think the transmisogyny thats kind of rampant in this fandom means people dont want to consider those outside conventional attractiveness being feminine or transfem identities outside binary transwomen if even that😭😭) I am being the change i wana see in the world 🙏 The amount of transfem fat gay bear jake in the world increases by one every time i post

#hermitcyclop #daniel talks #my art #jake english #DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT JAKE ENGLISH I WILL NOT STOP. I COULD KPEP GOING BUT ITS MIDNIGHT AND I NEED SLEEP.#But thank you for the ask hermitcyclop you are the most dedicated dirkjaker mad respect 🫶 years in the game and still around.. you are cray

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drdemonprince · 4 months

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I just got your piece The Asexual Fetishist in my inbox and wanted to send you a quick thank you for breaking my brain open with that one. I've spent years trying to square my desire for novel sexual experiences/specific kink related interests with not actually being sexually attracted to other people. I've consumed a lot of content by asexuals about kink and the like but having someone actually explain their experience with their fetish and its impact on their sexual life has never popped up in my perusing. I've had a lot of hang ups about the asexual label so I haven't dug too deep. This has definitely inspired me do more than a cursory exploration and I will definitely be giving Ana Valens work a read. Thanks again!

yeahhhh!!!! I love to hear it, thank you. Ana Valens' writing is GREAT and seeing her, a very outspoken and proud perv and accused "degenerate" claim the asexual label made me feel better about revisiting it, too. Others land on a different way of describing themselves -- Cosima Bimbotheory for example says that while in contemporary parlance she qualifies as ace spectrum / demisexual, she instead identifies more with leathersex, because the leather community has always made space for boundary-breaking ways of achieving intimacy, and has always included people who have sex without "having sex." I don't think these views are incompatible, hence my inclusion of vintage leather exhibitionist porn That Boy in my essay as an example of what Valens calls Ace Erotics.

I got my start as a queer kid on the asexuality forums of the early 2000s -- before I had the language of being autistic or trans or unempathic, ace spaces were the only community where I could easily express feeling outside and beyond what normal human beings were expected to feel. And so I still find I have a home there.

I think asexuality gets clowned on far too much -- there is this annoying tendency to equate people having bad opinions or doing annoying shit with their identities, and so aces get written off as sex-shamey scolds and enbies get characterized as anti medical transition and all other kinds of dumb shit like that, often from people who should know better. im here to say you can be an asexual free use hole and that is actually not confusing at all if a person actually considers what asexual means.

heres the link to the essay, for the curious

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liquidstar · 6 months

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i think that on here we've kinda talked a lot about how the traditional "coming out" narrative presented in popculture is flawed in reality. because it always presents this idea that you have to tell everyone who you Really are, that youre Hiding parts of yourself, that you can never be You until you bare your Secrets to the world. and that actually this isnt because people feel entitled to your personal business but that its hurting YOU when they dont know your personal business so you should really just tell them. (but also dont be "too" proud because thats annoying :( act mostly cishet please but dont lie about it! hehe!) it will work out every time for sure :)

but ofc thats not how real life works. i mean, naturally i understand that there are OF COURSE people out there who want to be loud and proud about who they are, and that this is incredibly important to their identity which theyve suppressed for so long. but that "coming out" narrative is harmful because it ignores many of the reasons it had to be suppressed to begin with. its fucking dangerous! its dangerous to a lot of people for a lot of reasons. they can lose their support system, family, job, house, and their entire life. both in the sense that they'll be completely uprooted from it, and in the sense that they could be killed. so constantly presenting the notion of "coming out is good for you no matter what because its the Only way to be your Real Authentic Self and also you HAVE to do it eventually because thats how this narrative is just Meant to go. be a good little queer and please dont stray from this path."

and the problem is that plenty of young LGBT+ people completely internalize it too! ive had so many convos with young people worried about coming out to their conservative family because, well, theyre supposed to! and their minds are completely blown when i tell them that actually they dont have to do that. that theyre under no obligation to tell everyone their business and its okay to just keep being them w/o making an announcement about it. ESPECIALLY IF IT PUTS THEM IN DANGER!!!! and to be clear this issue doesnt stop at age 18 or at moving out or anything like that either, there continue to be many obstacles for many people that make coming out unsafe, or just a bad life decision to uproot everything Right Now. it's okay to just be in the closet and it isn't a moral failing like cishet media wants to convince us. we all agree, right?

good! but here's what my actual real point is:

when we talk about this, for some reason, we seem to only reaaaallly be talking about the gay side of it, right? like im sure lots of people imagined, like, teenage gay boy movies. maybe a couple lesbian and bi characters too perhaps. and that makes sense because thats like the most common narrative for this sort of trope, so ofc those are the first examples we imagine. and ofc theres the more complex addition of "passing" when it comes to trans versions of this story, the idea that you gotta look a certain way to be "valid" adds another layer.

so i think its time more people started to acknowledge this about trans people too, right? i think we can all agree with this on paper already; no trans person is obligated to come out or present a certain way if theyre not in a place where they currently are able to do so. physically, mentally, financially... or just because they dont wanna! whatever the circumstances are, there is no criteria they have to meet to be vindicated in this. it doesnt only apply to 14 year olds living with shitty parents who plan to move out soon and become "Really Trans" (as if they didnt count before conforming to The Narrative), the person could be 40 and never planning to be completely out, and its the same. they dont owe you this "showing the world who you Really are in order to [earn the right to] Be Yourself" crap. thats their choice only.

however, i also think that even if most ppl on here in lgbt circles on here agree with the general sentiment... sometimes it doesnt always get applied it practice. though the whole "truscum" thing kinda died down (thank god) i still think that rampant transmedicalism has left its scars on lots of people and the things they internalize, combined with similar cisheteronormative messages in popular media about how your narrative Should go and how you Should act and look to be respected, and its Morally Wrong not to fit that mold.

so when encountered with people who dont pass, who dont TRY to pass and instead actively choose to look like their agab due to the fact that they are literally in the closet irl (lest we forget people have whole entire complex lives outside of the net) this sort of short circuit happens in ppls heads, where that internalized idea of "but you're supposed to be THIS WAY! youre not doing it RIGHT!" pops back up and they end up labeling that person as fake or Not Trans Enough for this reason.

and i do also think part of this stems from people not having enough sympathy for those whose paths are different, because they were told not to. theres a Right way, and they did it the right way. and likely they struggled for it a lot, so isnt it unfair that people are doing it the Easy Way (as if its easy to be closeted to begin with) and claiming theyre like you? thats Wrong. they have to Earn it. you lgbts should all get mad at EACH OTHER actually! this will help your community be better [in the eyes of cishetero society that doesnt really want you to exist to begin with]

additionally the reason im emphasizing the internet side of this so much is because... well, in this day and age, thats the space lots of people go to to NOT be in the closet. to at least microdose on being "out" while in real life they very much arent. like i said before, being in the closet is rough and taxing, suppressing yourself hurts which is why so many people wanna be loud and out and proud! not everyone can though, so turning to a place with relative anonymity to get that is great, and i think its probably saved a lot of people. but also because of this, its pretty much the only way to get the scenario this is positing to begin with- where you know a stranger can know that youre trans even if youre otherwise closeted completely, just so they can tell you that youre Not. but how many people in the past do you think lived lives where they never let these feelings out at all? how many alive today do you think dont even express them online?

you know that sort trope (often stereotypes in media) of a trans person "crossdressing" only when alone, in order to get a short bit of relief or euphoria that they cant in their closed life? i think that today we have the internet to do that. i think its kind of the same thing. but its also very different, because its not as private. its still secret, because its anonymous, but its also something shared with plenty of strangers at the same time. they dont know you irl, so its safe, distant, and gives you that rush of being yourself, and being referred to correctly by others too. theres community, theres support, and theres friendship too, once you get to know those strangers. its not a "second life" or a "persona" is just a side of yourself you dont show elsewhere, an identity that needs to be let out one way or another.

who the fuck are we to deny others the right to this life-saving connection just because they arent out? because they dont pass or dress the Right way irl? because we decided they arent trying hard enough to "fit in"? because they dont plan to change their lives to fit the right narrative anytime soon?

should they not be allowed into the community then? that would be perfect wouldnt it? leave many who need support out to die, because they did it Wrong. fight within our community over who is doing it Right until we've broken it in half. the righteous ones [according to cishet standards] are surely going to be treated with respect once they get rid of the Bad ones, right?

yeah, i dont think so. thats horseshit. we're stronger together than we are apart, thats why infighting is so useful to those who dont want us to be strong to begin with. its important to help each other, boost each other up, even if some of us arent playing the "right" part irl. are we really just going to sit around and accept the cishet norms as rules to live by? fuck that. not everyones story will reflect it, and you have to accept them anyway if you want a strong community. it doesnt matter how much they might look/act like their agab irl, if theyre telling you otherwise take it at face value, respect them the way you would any other. again, many of us agree with this on paper, but i think we still have to put work into acting on that too.

the end <3

#under the cut its just a way longer version of what i just said but in regards to how closeted trans ppl are often treated online #i cut it bc it was long but im telling you what it is now if you wanna read it basically #but a lot of this is personal musings too. its not connected to any kinda disk horse or anything #just stuff ive been thinking abt mostly. how i wish there was more support for such things #bc even online i feel like most ppl overlook closeted ppl who are not kids. yknow?#as if thats the only acceptable time to be closeted bc you have an excuse. tho part of it might be remembering personal experiences too ofc #but well. like i say here everyones experiences are different and we gotta respect that basically #and i think. its ok if you dont look or act a certain way. i guess

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 5 months

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"you make being gay your personality" uh no

we talk about and make jokes about how we're gay, or trans, or bi, pan, enby, aro, ace and all of the lovely and valid identities in the queer spectrum. and if you think we do it too much and you're okay with queer people but why do we have to "make it our whole personality"? it's alright sit down i'll tell you what's up

(TLDR up front coz i know long posts are hard for some folks: we do it to affirm our identities and find love, acceptance and community because IT IS SO RARE TO FIND SAFE ENOUGH SPACES WHERE WE CAN TALK ABOUT OUR QUEERNESS.)

We're so relieved that we have even small spaces or people that we feel safe enough in and around to make those jokes and comments. We're so relieved, we want to enjoy that relief of not being hatecrimed, disowned, and all the awful things that happen to this community.

We're so intent in being proud of our identity and reaffirming it, when so many people invalidate us every day.

We're so eager to connect with other queer people, to be assured that we are not alone, we have a family, we have a community.

We want to lighten up the mood around queer discussions, to make sure it's recognised as normal and human, to make sure it's not a dark taboo topic.

We want to reassure ourselves. That we are safe, that we are accepted, that we are loved, that we are valid. And we are.

We talk about it, we make jokes about it, because for so many centuries, and even now in most places and for most people, we couldn't and can't. When we are able to, we will.

Some of us have different reasons, too, reasons I may not know about and that's great too! I'd love to hear the opinions of other queer folks. Tell me if you feel anything needs to be changed or clarified, too, I'm open to hearing you out :)

And as for things that are not jokes, if you're complaining about a queer person speaking up about their experiences and/or the discrimination they have faced then mate you need to leave, educate yourself on sensitivity and empathy, and only then return.

And to my queer siblings who say "i can't open this packet of biscuits im too gay for this": you guys are totally valid i too am too gay to open biscuit packets sometimes. Straight people who are offended by this: this is a joke. That we are allowed to make. See? it's that easy.

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lillithhearts · 6 months

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Hey! Sorry if this is a bother, but I was wondering if you could do a headcannon of how Will, Gale, Astarion and Karlach would comfort you after top surgery? I’m getting mine soon, and baldurs is my comfort game, and this would be so incredible! Thank you for your time, really! Your work is incredible!!

Hi omg so like warning, I am a genderfluid afab so this writing might not be spot on for you but Im gonna try my absolute best pooks

Warnings: Not proofread! Talk of gender dysphoria, slight mentions of Transphobia

Transmasc!Tav x Bg3 chars

She doesn't really understand but that by no means she's not supportive, Whatever you wanna do you do. You look sexy as hell anyways.

Would definitely wanna see your scars and depending on your approach of them would compliment them, say they "add character" and "show how badass you are" after confiding in her of the struggles of being Trans she admires you 100 times more because she couldn't imagine feeling like that and being the sunshine you are

will hold you, talk with you, listen to you during the entire process. And if anyone ever says anything negative about them OR you? Oh hold her back or she might upper cut someone, you learned that the hard way. Smothers you in affection and reassurance before and after the surgery telling you she doesn't find you less attractive and that you'll be absolutely breathtaking no matter what you look like.

He listens to you all the time, if you go into a dark place about your identity and what you look like he will sit right at your side and tell you the sweetest things and you can tell he's 100% genuine

Like Karlach he will be there with you throughout the entire process, will help you apply creams and other remedies that'll help with scarring if you are uncomfortable with them, might even try and find a healer to try and get them completely removed.

But if you choose to just let your body heal naturally and whatever happens of the scars happens he will lay his chin on your chest while looking up at you. Just, looking at you

You are genuinely the most handsome man he's seen in his entire life and he would tell you till you lose your hearing.

Wyll is your number.1 defender in anything but especially your identity. He never even mentions youre trans to others not even his family and if they ask he just shrugs and says "Tav is Tav, and I love Him very much"

Said with a "that's that" tone to ensure the others do not engage further, unless you feel comfortable sharing your experience obviously.

He gets what it's like to feel out of place in your own body, he gets the disassociation and confusion of it— not in the way you do and he says that, telling you he wouldn't wanna compare your situation to his and that they are vastly different.

Would probably trace his fingers over your scars (with your consent ofc) whispering about how Gorgeous and Handsome you are, he tells you to not bat (ehe) them much mind they do not define you or your identity as a man.

He could go on about you and your greatness for hours if you ever felt upset before or after the surgery, grabbing your face and making you look at him while he admires the face of the love of his life.

He can understand the out of body experience you might experience and sympathize with you

Definitely the kinda guy to say "get tattoos over em" if you say you don't like the look of them, I think he finds Tattoos very attractive and if they make you feel better that's even better!

If you needed to get your mind off it he would just nudge you with a few Magic facts and see if you bite so you can listen to his very non-coherent rambles

Probably the first person to see you after it, will literally fight his way through Doctors and nurses to see you holding your favorite things.

And you'll never forget how his eyes light up at seeing you, He sees you're so much happier now and you feel more comfortable and he's so extremely proud of you.

THIS MIGHT BE SHIT??? but congrats on getting your top surgery date and I hope you recover well and feel at ease with yourself. PLEASE STAY SAFE AND LOVE YOURSELF YOURE WONDERFUL💋

#bg3 #bg3 x reader #halsin x reader #astarion x reader #bg3 tav #bg3 fic #bg3 gale #bg3 wyll #bg3 karlach

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dnphobe · 3 months

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Looking at how they've presented themselves over time is always interesting. I think the queer experience of slowly questioning societal and gender norms (and gender, in many cases) is something I recognize in them. Im also curious how Phil's journey is different because he was out to his close ones for a lot longer, and it feels like Dan has more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma that he associated with the label. I loved seeing their support of queer identities even when they were publicly closeted. It's nice that, even if they weren't comfortable being out, they wanted everyone to know they were a safe space

i agree! the different ways they've presented themselves to us over the years is one of my favourite topics to talk about tbh!

dan's journey wrt to gender presentation and how he feels about gender (not gonna theorise on how he identifies bc what do i know, but to quote him he's fine with being viewed as a man but also not offended if people use pronouns/gendered terms outside of that to refer to him) is interesting because he's said he's always been "flamboyant" but tried to hide that in his youtube career for a long time, and he's gone from saying "i can't do it i'm just such a boy" about painting his nails to having them painted more often than not, but also in day in the life of manchester he said he sometimes wishes he was a girl when looking at 'women's clothing', so it's clearly something he's felt for a long time.

i don't think phil necessarily feels the same pull to be gender non-conforming, but it is also something he's struggled with doing (in one of the stereo shows, when talking about the maid dress he wore in VPMO 2, he said that while it was a cheap joke outfit, a few years ago he would not have felt comfortable wearing a dress at all) so that might be something he's still working toward being comfortable with, but at the same time he's never felt shame about telling us things like he likes using raspberry scented body wash or that he does skin care (while when phil mentioned doing skin care dan was clutched by toxic masculinity saying "don't do- i mean that's fine!"

agree with dan having more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma and i'm so glad he's reached where he is now! phil...i think for a long time he thought he didn't NEED to shout about being gay, especially because like you said he was out to a few people for longer. but i think it's something he realised he DID want to do after coming out to us. as he said in his coming out one year later video he didn't realise how much of himself he was holding back from us by not being out and it feels like a weight off his shoulders now. i think they both love being gay and shouting about being gay and celebrating that with us and im so proud of phil too <3 i actually have a hot take which is i think if it wasn't for dan's coming out he might have never fully come out to us, not just in a "if dan never had he never would have" way, but in a "if he and dan never met he wouldn't have" way, because he IS a private person and didn't think he was missing out on anything.

i am always so glad they made sure we knew they were accepting of us even if they weren't ready to be out. ngl it got kind of rough in like 2012 for me when dan was so adamantly against people thinking he was gay my own internalised homophobia brain went "does he hate gay people?" but that's on me, not him, or more accurately on BOTH of our internalised homophobia situations lmao. but yeah they've always been so sweet about their queer and trans fans, and one thing i personally appreciate so much is how they will use they/them for any fan they don't know the gender of no matter what their name/appearance/voice would make other people assume their gender to be! i feel so safe with them, and im gonna add this bc im still sappy after this weekend, so safe with phannies too <3 i think phannies queer identities and dnp's queer identities have ALWAYS flowed into each other and both sides of the parasocial line have made the other side feel safe and grow into their identities and helped them accept and appreciate other people's identities.

#asks

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your-queer-dad · 1 month

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hi dad!

im confused about gender stuff, i'm a cis girl but i want to be perceived masculinily but also not? like i want people to look at me and think "that's a trans guy/mask enby" but i don't actually identify with either of those labels. i'm only a little dysphoric and i feel comfortable with labels like female and girl, she/her pronouns, etc. and im all confused about what the hell this means about my actual gender? like yes i think being cis fits me best and ofc presentation can differ from identity but like...the part where being mistaken for a guy or nonbinary person somehow validates my cis-ness is REALLY making me lost. thoughts?

Hey kiddo! Honestly that's a totally valid feeling. My best advice is honestly go for it. Labels are at the end of the day words, and you can 100% present masculinely while being a girl just like you can present femininely whilst being a boy, the rules are made up by people who like shoving people into boxes and you should do what makes you happy. You can be a cisgender girl and present masculinely. The rules are made up and you should do what makes you feel comfortable and confident!

Thank you for reaching out and I'm so so proud of you. If you have any other questions feel free to reach out anytime and I'll try and help!

- dad x

#lgbt #finch rambles #lgbtq #lgbtqia #trans #transgender #queer positivity #ask a finch!

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umbreoncomplex · 2 months

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can i be honest? im really happy about buck being bisexual. yada yada oh but he didnt kiss eddie. whatever. okay? ive been with this show since that fateful night in january 2018. id seen the previews and ads for the show for a while and so i awaited the night eagerly and watched the premiere episode with my mom. this was 6 years ago, and i was young, and still new to being queer, and to me that was something you kept secret in online chatrooms and fanfiction read in the dead of night. i was young, and maybe trans maybe lesbian. and you weren't supposed to be those things in the "real world". and this is a truth i keep in my mind for a while. and then, i dont remember when, but we are introduced to karen. hens wife. these two become the first queer people ive seen on screen outside of online circles. away from fanfiction and cartoons. and they feel so real. so tangible. and i feel seen. because maybe ive met queer people before. but we were always tucked away into the digital world. this was cable tv. this is what everyone could see. and this meant there were dozens and dozens of people behind the scenes letting this be real. and in that moment i felt everything could be okay. and i found lonestar, i found paul, and by now i was familiar with queer people in media and in real life but paul was a trans man on tv and this was so new to me and once again i felt comforted. felt seen. i smiled when owen helped paul with skincare in that one bathroom scene and it was normal and okay. but heres the thing. these were queer people established from the beginning. and they have always been queer. and i love them for that. i love hen and i love paul and i love carlos and i love tk and i love nancy. but we have never gotten to see discovery yet. and ive been with this franchise 6 years. ive had all these queer headcanons in my head, some big ones i knew could never be true, but that's okay, because i could still imagine them and discuss them with friends and make them real to myself. and while buck being bi was plausible, maybe far more likely to happen than any other headcanon i had, i was familiar with this show. queer identities had been established from the beginning. you knew from the get go if a character would be queer or not. and so i expected this status quo to stay. and yet it didnt. because on the 100th episode of this show thats carried me through these psst few years, buck kissed a man. or more accurately, was kissed by a man. and he wasnt disgusted. wasnt appalled. didnt pull away. he reciprocated. and this wasnt like with tk. this isnt oh haha some guy thinks buck has a crush on him and buck is bewildered because oh! he's obviously straight. this is a kiss. and he kissed back. and when he lets go hes shocked. surprised. but not bothered. this is bucks "oh" moment, even described as such by oliver stark. this is a beginning. this isnt a scene they're going to throw away, but a story theyre starting. and it's going to be something entirely brand new for 911. because now we can see someone grow into their identity. accept it. learn to be themselves proudly. ive loved buck since day 1 of this series, and i cant help but feel proud. and i know he's just a fictional character yada yada who cares. but i care. because ive watched his story for 6 years. his struggle to love himself. to accept he can be desired and cared for. and hes been getting better. but now hes been introduced to something new. and now he must love himself in a new light, learn to love himself through change, and not just as a static personality. and im happy. and i wont stop being happy. and oliver stark said "you were right". and i was. and i cant believe i am. that this story can exist outside of my head. outside of online chatrooms. outside of fanfic. and it feels poetic, to watch buck come into himself in real time like this

#911 spoilers #911 abc #911 season 7 #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #bi buck #<- ive noticed thats become a tag lol #911 100th episode #eep i think those cover all my bases

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girlgerard · 2 years

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I know im probably reading into it but the pride flag thing means so much, whether it was for the fans or it was for G’s own affinity with it or both. It wasn’t put in the back like other stuff thrown on stage, it was displayed for everyone to see, and in a place like Budapest.

it’s. god okay. my chemical romance has such a strange and intimate relationship with the queerness of their audience in a way i don’t think anyone else can replicate. i think they at many points felt/feel this kind of impostor syndrome at being hailed as Queer Icons. like imagine being frank iero and just being a guitarist and suddenly you’re being told by thousands of trans men that you are their blueprint for their mental health. that’s a fucking LOT, no matter how innocent or complementary it may be. i already bristle at the queer icon label because it implies someone’s identity is only important for representation - like they’re there to be consumed. and we know that gerard is through with the martyr complex. they don’t want to rip themselves apart for the masses anymore. by all accounts it would have made sense to actively reject the queer icon label because it seems like it goes against what they want to be these days - they are not there to be consumed.

and yet. they’re so kind about it. they don’t ever try and push queer fans away. they comfort people struggling with dysphoria and tell them they’re not alone and that they went through the same thing. they call in to drag shows just to tell trans kids that they’re proud of them. they join queer comic writer anthologies and write stories of self acceptance. they hang up a pride flag someone threw onstage instead of putting it to the side, in a country where the government is actively homophobic, because they KNOW what that means for the audience. they don’t have to do any of that shit! none of them do! and yet they’re so gentle with us.

gerard’s not a pushover. i think people forget that they’re tough as fuck and will stand their ground when they need to. they have incredible integrity. they ended mcr when they felt it had run its course, going against everything the industry wanted. they canceled their second solo album because the label kept trying to tamp down on their creativity. they can and would say something if they felt uncomfortable with the association of queerness that mcr has had nailed to its back. but instead all they do is listen and smile when the crowd sings the mama bridge. all they do is hang up that pride flag on the drum face. they never explain it. they know they don’t need to.

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