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luvrboydave · 2 days

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dad's best friend dave pt.2

pairing: dbf!dave x virgin!fem reader

warnings: smut, kinda insecure reader, inexperienced reader, age gap, couch sex, unprotected piv, creampie, maybe breeding kink idk, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), pussy slapping (like once), LOTS of praise, dave teaches her how to give a hj/bj, pet names (sweetheart, baby, darlin'), tiny itty bit of overstim, soft dave but also a little mean dave at the beginning

words: 2.3k

a/n: not proof read and also might be bad cuz im a bit out of practice :3 feeding the dbf!dave girlies even though im not hyperfixated on megadeth rn!!!! enjoy guys, COME GET YOUR FOOD MWAH <3

CLICK HERE FOR PT.1

ever since your little fling with dave, he’s been plaguing your thoughts more than usual…daydreams of his thick fingers inside of you, wet dreams involving him pinning you down and having his way with you. no matter how hard you try to ignore the thoughts and push them away, they always return stronger. sometimes, you wonder if he ever thinks about you as well, if he touches himself to the memory of your tight cunt.

surely, he notices your lingering stares when he comes over to watch sports with your dad, right? surely, he notices that you’re completely and absolutely in love with him, right…?

it’s like you don’t even exist to him anymore; were you really that bad of a lay? thoughts raced through your head. did you do something wrong? did he not like how your body looked? were you too inexperienced for him? you were startled from your thoughts when a hand laid on your shoulder. looking to your left, you see that familiar head of curly orange hair.

"oh, hey dave. sorry. i was just lost in thought," you mumble, turning to look up at him.

dave hums at your words, “no worries, sweetheart. your dad just ran to the store, wanted me to tell you he’d be gone ‘bout an hour or two.”

your eyes follow him as he walks around the couch and sits beside you. “so, what was goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, hm?” he smiles, locking eyes with you. it was as if he could see straight through you.

“just thinking about…college stuff,” you murmur, eyes breaking away from his and looking down at your clasped hands.

“school stuff, hm? there’s no reason to lie to me, sweetheart.” he places a hand on your bare knee, and you jump slightly at the touch.

“i know, sorry. my brain is just all kinds of messy right now.” you sigh.

“you wanna talk about it?” he asks as his thumb rubs comforting circles over your thigh.

you go silent, trying to decide if you should just ask if you’ve done something wrong. your brain is screaming at you not to do it, and your stomach churns at the thought of him confirming all your insecurities.

with a burst of courage, you blurt out the question that’s been haunting you, “did i do something wrong?”

dave’s face scrunches in confusion, “what makes you think you did something wrong, sweetheart?”

“y’know, the last time we were…alone…together. i can tell you’ve been avoiding me since then. i thought maybe i did something wrong or something you didn’t like if you were staying away from me…” you ramble, moving your hands wildly while explaining yourself.

“shit, sweetheart…m’sorry. you didn’t do anything wrong; you were perfect. i was keeping my distance from you ’cause i thought you’d be disgusted by me.” he laughs, scooting closer to you on the couch and sliding his hand higher up your thigh.

“i could never be disgusted by you.” you giggle, resisting the urge to press your thighs together at his touch.

“is that right…” he hums, a smirk forming on his lips.

all of a sudden, his lips are on yours. you moan in surprise, hands coming to wrap around his neck. the kiss is desperate but sweet at the same time, as if he’s trying to make up for causing you to stress. his hand continues under your skirt, knuckles rubbing over your damp panties. Dave’s other hand cups your face, deepening the kiss and slipping his tongue into your mouth.

you gasp when he slides your panties to the side and runs a finger through your folds. “shit, sweetheart… so wet for me already.” he groans into the kiss. you buck your hips up into his hand, silently asking for more.

“mmh-, my baby is so fucking greedy.” dave growls, slipping a finger inside of your cunt. his cock grows hard from the noises you’re making–your soft mewls are music to his ears. dave slips another finger inside of you slowly, stretching you out nicely. once you adjust to the new addition, dave picks up his pace–fingers pistoning in and out of you.

“fuck, this pussy is so sloppy for me, baby…all for me, ain’t that right, sweetheart?” dave grunts, looking you in the eyes.

you struggle to give him an answer–the pleasure already too much for you. As you try to speak, the only things that come out are strained moans and half-formed curses.

“fuckin’ answer me, baby.” dave growls, pulling his fingers out of you and landing a harsh slap on your sensitive cunt. your body jumps at the impact, crying out from the pain.

“shit- yes! all for you- all for you…” you whine tearfully, hands moving to grip his hair.

“good girl,” dave praises, rubbing your clit, before slipping his fingers back into your drooling pussy. his pace is brutal, and he doesn’t let up–not even when fat tears start to roll down your cheeks. one of the hands that’s threaded into his hair moves to grip his wrist, trying to slow him down–but he doesn’t relent.

dave pushes you down to lay on your back with his free hand before snatching both of your wrists and pinning them above your head. He can tell you’re close by the way you squirm underneath him, frantically bucking your hips into his hand.

“that’s it, sweetheart. let go for me.” dave coos as you come undone. your body shakes, thighs clamping shut around dave’s hand at the intensity of your orgasm.

your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath. dave gives you time to recover, gently rubbing your thigh before leaving to grab you a glass of water. you thank him when he returns to the living room, and you down the glass quickly.

“wanna help you now,” you mumble shyly, pushing him back against the couch before sinking to your knees in front of him, “this is my first time doin’ this…” you admit.

“fuck…you’re so perfect for me, sweetheart. letting an old man like me take all your firsts,” he groans, “gonna let me be the first one to fuck your pretty little angel cunt too, hm?”

you nod softly, looking away from him in embarrassment. he chuckles at your shyness before grabbing your hand and placing it over his bulge.

“here, let me teach ya how it’s done,” he smiles, “first, you gotta take it out, ‘kay?”

you nod again, pulling the zipper down and helping him slip out of his jeans. you’re a little intimidated, but he reassures you that you can back out anytime.

you reach into his boxers and wrap your hand around his cock; it’s a bit weird at first, but you eventually get used to the feeling and feel confident enough to pull his boxers down and let his cock spring free. dave praises you sweetly and helps guide you through it.

“go ahead and spit on it now, sweetheart,” he commands softly, stroking your hair. you do exactly as he says, gathering spit in your mouth and letting it drip from your lips onto the head of his cock.

“good,” he smiles, “now use your hand to spread it around–use a little pressure, but don’t squeeze too hard.”

you follow his instructions, stroking up and down and occasionally squeezing lightly. dave groans softly, watching you with lustful eyes. he swears he almost cums when he sees your wide, curious eyes staring up at him.

“you’re doing amazing for me, baby…use your thumb to rub the tip–and if it feels like it’s getting dry, spit on it some more.”

you let some more spit fall onto his dick, using your thumb to spread it around his tip. hesitantly, you lean down and give the tip a small lick. your cunt clenches at the sound dave makes. testing the waters, you give it another lick before wrapping your lips around the tip. dave has to fight the urge to buck his hips up and bury his cock deep in your warm throat.

“fuck- didn’t even have to tell you to put it in your mouth,” he groans and threads a hand in your hair, “take your time, sweetheart. you don’t gotta rush.”

you try to smile at him before taking his cock further into your mouth. you revel in the small grunts and sighs dave makes, thighs clenching at the erotic sounds. as you try to take him deeper, you gag around his cock and quickly pull off to catch your breath. dave hums at your messy face, the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes making his dick twitch. he softly raises his hand to caress your cheek, encouraging you to take him back into your mouth.

“gonna let me fuck your throat, sweetheart?” dave questions, “i promise i’ll be gentle.”

you hum in agreement around his cock, whining when he threads his hand into your hair. dave slowly thrusts up into your mouth, and your throat constricts around him as he pushes deeper and deeper. his free hand wipes the tears from your eyes, and he coos at you softly. he groans when he bottoms out in your throat.

“shiiit- you’re doing great, sweetheart. just breathe through your nose, baby–tap my leg a few times if you need me to pull out,” he mumbles, pulling back until just the tip is in your mouth and sliding back in slowly.

dave slowly increases his pace, spouting praise at you as he does so. When you swirl your tongue around his tip and bring a hand up to massage his balls, he knows he’s about to cum. he quickly pulls out of your mouth and pulls you up from the floor before laying you down on the couch.

“need to be inside of you, sweetheart. can’t wait to fill this pretty pussy of yours.” dave groans, pulling your shirt over your head and panties down your legs.

“hot even wearin’ a bra, huh–so fuckin’ desperate for me…you wanted this to happen, didn’t you.” he teases, hands groping at your bare tits.

you whine, nodding feverishly and bucking your hips up into him. dave chuckles at your impatience. your body twitches when you feel dave spit down onto your already sopping cunt a few times. dave guides his cock to your cunt, slipping between your pussy lips and rocking back and forth. your mouth opens with a silent whine when the head of his cock catches on your clit as he rocks forward.

“gonna put it in now, sweetheart. try to relax for me, i want this to be as comfortable for you as possible,” dave states, pushing your legs up towards your chest and guiding his cock to your entrance.

you keen at the stretch, wincing slightly as your cunt opens up for him. “that’s it…breathe for me, baby–just relax.” he murmurs sweetly.

dave continues pushing deeper into your tight pussy, groaning as your warm walls flutter around his length. he pauses as he bottoms out, allowing you time to breathe and adjust to his size, all while muttering praise in your ear.

“think i’m ready for you to move, baby…” you whine, rocking your hips slightly into his.

dave smiles at you before he pulls out and thrusts back in gently. your eyes roll back into your head as he begins thrusting into you at a steady pace. you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into a messy kiss. dave swallows the pretty noises you make as he fucks you, revelling in your pleasure.

“you can move faster-” you moan, breaking the kiss and looking him in the eyes.

“you sure, sweetheart?” he questions, slowing down his thrusts and waiting for you to confirm. you nod, giving him the go-ahead to speed up.

it’s like a switch flips inside of him–he pushes your legs even closer to your chest and fucks into you quickly. your head falls back onto the couch's armrest, fingers clawing at his shoulders in pleasure. dave’s hips piston in and out of you, your sloppy cunt squelching with each thrust.

your back arches off of the couch when he snakes his hand down to play with your swollen clit. your body feels like it’s on fire, the pleasure quickly becoming too much.

“hnng- think im gonna cum! fuck-” you cry out, voice breaking as tears spill from your eyes.

“Shh, sweetheart. you can let go, c’mon, cum for me like a good girl.” he coos, fingers still rubbing circles on your clit as he picks up his pace.

Your body shakes as you start to cum, and your vision goes spotty. your arms hold onto dave’s shoulders for dear life as your body convulses. dave continues thrusting in and out of your cunt, overstimulating your poor, sensitive pussy.

“keep clenchin’ around me, just like that, sweetheart,” he growls, his pace faltering ever so slightly. “fuuuck- gonna fuckin’ ruin this gorgeous angel cunt of yours, baby–fill you up so good you’ll be leakin’ for weeks.”

dave groans, pushing his hips flush with yours when he cums, pumping you full of his warm, sticky cum. your pussy flutters around him, milking him of every last drop. dave’s head drops into the crook of your neck, and he presses soft kisses to the skin there. you stroke his back as he lays on top of you, a smile pulling on your lips.

“i think i’m in love with you,” you mutter softly.

dave’s ears perk up at your words–he lifts his head to look at you, “you really mean that, sweetheart?”

“of course I do,” you affirm, moving your hands to hold his face and pull him up into a loving kiss.

“i love you too,” he murmurs into the kiss, “but we might wanna get dressed…i don’t think your dad would appreciate seeing us cuddled up naked on the couch,” he laughs.

#dave mustaine smut #megadeth smut #dave mustaine x reader #metallica smut

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load-theloading-artist · 1 day

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*Kicks Down Door*

it's me, ya boi, Load.

And I have some things to say.

But i want to mention @-thevyladsafespace for their post;

^^^ this one ^^^

Where they asked what the inspiration(s) was for the boys' outfits. Having a few guesses of their outfits being inspired by chinese/japanese fashion or dnd/generic fantasy style of fashion.

And, in my opinion, yes!

But... also no.

Lemme explain, But first;

I want to talk about their Daemos outfits. And my thoughts/opinions on the...

Starting with their Daemos Outfits;

And starting with

Noi;

who i actually i think his outfit fits Japanese Inspiration the most!

(Before i explain, i want to say i am not from japan or have visited, nor am i an expert, but i have watched MANY videos about japanese culture from LetsaskShogo on youtube! I highly recommend checking him out. He goes into everything about japan, its history, its culture, its fashion, Noh thearte, tea ceremonies, everything!) (Japanese culture is a special interest of mine, ahah)

His left side of his shirt is over his right side, which japanese traditional kimono style of clothing MUST have! (Wearing the left over right is a MUST in their culture, for only the dead or non-living wear the RIGHT side over the LEFT. It therefore symbolizes death.)

The closest reference for his shirt i can find rn is this one; (which if i remember right are called dogi!)

Additionally,

Useing this image as reference;

His pants are very similar to a style/type of Hakama pants (unfortunately, i have forgotten the name of them. I think a name for them was Karusan, but i may be wrong!!)

Image reference of the pants im talking about;

(They were worn by 'samurai' or otherwise japanese soldiers as a better alternative to hakama due to the pants better ease of movement and more suitability armor.)

Other than that though, he doesn't wear anything else that is SIMILAR to traditional japanese fashion.

Onto my opinions and thoughts about his design;

I love Noi's design the most. He is the most well designed out of the boys'. If i were to change his design, i would keep most of it.

He's an 8/10 for me.

Deducted points because WHY? WHY WITH HIS ARM. Omg. no... No. No!! his design literally would've been perfectly okay IF HIS ARM. WASNT-

give him his sleeve back pls... why was it taken away? What crimes did it commit?? Was color contrast against the armor wanted so badly ThEy TOOK AWAY HIS SLEEVE?? That's worse!! That's worse than just leaving his sleeve alone 😭😭😭

In fact, it would look BETTER if the sleeve was kept unyoinked!!

I apologize for how harsh i may sound. But i can't. I just can't.

Moving onto

Pierce;

My second favorite character~

I believe he is the second closest to having most Japanese inspiration.

With his utterly blue coat, that is the main point of interest in his design... that does look a lot like a kimono.

But i sure hope it isn't because the way he's wearing it makes me want to go

"DISHONER ON YOU!! DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!!"

- (mulan/mushu reference)

And that what he SHOULD be wearing would be similar to a Haori-jacket

Which what it looks like;

(The Haori is a traditional japanese hip or thigh length jacket that is typically worn over a kimono.)

His coat is, however, a Kimono's length. (Maybe even a little longer, actually, kimonos typically only reach the ankles. But the way he wears whatever he wears, could make it look longer than it should be or is.)

Additionally his sleeves and;

The absolute abomination his outfits back is. What the genuine *🐬 noise* happened.

The way his the back of the outfit is, it means that if he wears the unworn sleeve, the back will be SO DROOPED!! It would not be funny or sexy 😔

Here is a reference for how a kimono (though with longer/larger sleeves) with one sleeve not being worn would look;

(i am so sorry, but idk who the artist is and can not find them. Googling bee-com led to (i think) a bitcoin website, and katahada nugi was just for information for samurai armor.) (If anyone knows it would be very appreciated!)

*sigh*

Moving onto my thoughts and opinions on Pierce's design;

Pierce's deisgn is... rather simple. Other than the pattern on his pants.

... tbh i dont really know what else to say. It's simple, basic, the coat, arm-brace, and patten on his pants are the only points of interest in his design. (Other than his tattoo but we'll talk about it later.)

I'd rate him 3/10.

There's... Something. Theres a something... But it's not executed well (or at all) in his design. His (disaster of a coat that deducted points) coat and that something, is his saving grace of a few points.

And i WANT TO CONTINUE THIS in the same post and I PROMISE YOU, i am going somewhere i do i do i just,

In order to continue i NEED the photo space, what do i mean? i mean THERES A PHOTO LIMIT OF 10 ON POSTS!!! TUMBLR WHY 10??? 10??? 10 PHOTOS ONLY???

***insert image of a depressed man bent over in a blue school chair meme***

But i hope you stay tuned and to see you in part 2!! (And most likely part 3... oh boy. Im so sorry)

Again, i promise im going somewhere with this i just need time to cook and get the foundations down first. AND THE PHOTO SPAc-

#my inner demons aphmau #aphmau my inner demons #shush load #my inner demons #Google: How to fight Tumblrs post image limit #*sobs*#see you in part 2 and im so sorry #theres alot of things i haven't mentioned that I'll mention in part 2!! i promise.#if there seems to be missing piunts about these two designed i didn't mention its because im waiting til i talk about all 5 of the Boys #daemos outfits #give me time to cook plsplsplsplspls

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cahmsandiego · 2 years

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Ok first and foremost I am a queer platonic partners Imogen and Laudna (shipper? enjoyer? What word would you use idk) and I will die a qpp Imogen and Laudna truther.

And I am increasingly loving the idea of imogen (and specifically only imogen) having romantic attraction to Laudna while Laudna (who regards Imogen as the most important person in her life) having queer platonic feelings for Imogen. And to be clear this is not in an angsty way in the slightest. They love each other deeply and both regard the other as their person but love comes in so many different flavors that the beautiful partnership they have is how they express that.

I dont know man I just love qpp laudna and Imogen. Its just so good

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gifti3 · 6 months

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MC: every time i see you, clown music starts playing

Belphie: what?

#i have a silly little idea for a silly little boy #*belphie kills me instantly*#kidding....#well depends is this before lilith descendant lore or after?#anyways im listening to clown music so thats why im here #i wish i could explain my thought process but like...im not even sure whats going on #obey me belphegor #obey me #obey me nightbringer

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yonpote · 5 months

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tbh i still have my hesitations abt the idea of dnp on twitch, ppl who have never been on twitch might not understand the streamer culture and twitch ppl who happen across dnp might end up less than savory... i know for a fact pj's and charlie's streams have some of the chillest chats (and some of yall are even in there hai!!) so hopefully we can create an environment on twitch that is similarly welcoming and maybe chaotic but not too toxic or too weird.

#i was a lot more hesitant when i thought abt the gaming channel streams cuz those were SO chaotic like way too much imo #but then when i think abt the younows and stuff those were just full chillout streams #idk how to explain my hesitation succinctly lol a lot of it is abt how phannies treat dnp #and how toxic strangers in twitch chats act can be kinda similar #like for dnp im sure if they see smth kinda rude being hurled at them from someone w a dan icon they can know its all bants #but on twitch u dont necessarily know that #and theres good moderation tools as well as you can have the chat rules and stuff like that #mytext

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nerosdayinanime · 5 months

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"Im worried what people would think of you then, that you're just a personal whore or something- i don't want to ruin your reputation.."

"Are you kidding? 'My dick was so good i got promoted-' Thats the biggest flex i can think of!"

"Well, you're certaintly enthusiastic about this."

#ive been thinking of the au from @planethoneybee's tags in that writing prompts post #on the topic of giyuu wanting sabito to have political power in case something happens or someone tries to pull shit-#him & shinobu debating the pros and cons of giving him title of concubine before giyuu brings up the social aspect #so shino calls sab in to get his thoughts on the matter directly and it made me laugh #another bit w sanemi- theyre at a meeting talking abt finances and theyre talking of cutting sanemi's beetle funding-#G: i can pay for it /Sane: what? /G: keep as much funding to the project as possible- i'll finance the rest of it out of my #own allowance. that works doesnt it? /Shino: i suppose. ..but you'd do that for beetles? /G: i see importance in it. /Shino: very well-#sanemi doesnt thank him or even mention it but he definitly looks at giyuu differently after that- he used his own shit to keep #the project going full blast? damn. he did that for sanemi's beetles. man.#somethn somethn giyuu bringing up the idea for shinobu to have a personal guard(/helper) as well #shinobu 'i know what you are' @ giyuu before he hurriedly explains he doesnt mean get a side hoe hes genuinely just #offering to find her a trusted guard/helper whos sole purpose is to do errands n shit specifically for her 'oh! that sounds nice actually'#'sab has someone in mind for you- says shes one of the best in the forces and a pleasant personality' 'ill see that for myself first'#'okay [thumbs up]'#im imaginging a mix between european kingdoms & east asian/chinese/japanese empires except i dont know shit about either #only thing i vaguely know is theres advisors & like sub-royalty & in traditional japanese more (/complex) layers of clothing = rich/royal #the 'sub royalty' has a name im p sure. i forgor. fuckiinnn.#nope its just not there. oh well. giyuu w the fingerless sleeve-gloves my FUCKING beloved #also vague thought of sabito & mitsuri wearing helmets that utilize their pink hair as fuckin. yk the european knights #w the stupid ponytail thing/romans w the gold helm/red mohawk thing. somethn like that #they wouldnt wear like full Heavy Armor like knights do their fighting styles & w the close-quarters they wouldnt need it #but like for Show at Fancy Pantsy Time theyd dress up similarly #loserboy giyuu posting #loverboy sabito posting #sabigiyuu #of all the shit i have for this au THATS the scene that gets front page. dick joke funniee #(in case its not clear text goes Giyuu-Sabito-Shinobu talking)

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bitchfitch · 2 years

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so far all I really have set for these 2 is "what if instead of being obsessed with fair maiden princesses or whatever the dragon is just Real into some random dilf"

#also it was bold of me to give Apurva 4 wongs considering i cant draw wings #apurva Did initially abduct whats his face bc they thought he was a Maiden tm and what ensued was the most uncomfortable week of his life #as he tried to explain gender to a dragon #'well a maiden is beautiful!'#'I think youre the most beautiful thing thats ever been part of my hoard! Surely that means you're the greatest maiden then'#'I think im flattered but no im Handsome Not beautiful'#'Whats the difference?'#'uh... Maidens arnt handsome- no thats not true ive seen some very handsome maidens"

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worstloki · 1 year

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Thor, rambling while Loki reads: --and yes, we are brothers, but I would kiss you if you asked!

Loki, suddenly much less interested in his book: What?

Thor: What?

Amora: *'sneakily' watching with her head peeking over the librarian's desk* HE SAID HE WOULD KISS YOU IF YOU ASKED.

#been finding the option of competitive fair play and sportsmanship supportiveness so much better as an option for everyone #like sure Amora is dying to bang Thor and Sif is trying to be a good friend while also vying/hoping for his interest #and sure Loki is somehow winning the contest with little idea he's taking part #but that doesn't mean they all have to fight!!!!#Amora being like 'well if i can't have him then im voting for Loki' while Sif and Loki joke about Thor's 'obvious' crush on one of them #Loki: *pointedly @ Sif* and to NO ONES surprise Thor has made off for the night with a stunning fair maiden with dark hair and blue eyes #Sif: it's OBVIOUS he's like this for *you*#Loki: nah ur just mad that im right about this. and the fact that he'd rather never confess than begrudge your warrior bond or whatever #Sif: he likes guys too -there's no way to explain that away with me! YOU'RE a shapeshifter making it doable to his...salacious imaginings :#Loki: what if he has a type. maybe he likes us both? that would explain the time he--#Amora: if i wanted i could make clones too yknow -_-#Sif Loki Amora with sometimes Lorelei showing up and lowkey thinking it's a fun time to cheer the others on in gaining Thor's attentions #Fandral too one day he's red faced and all 'shame on my family line' but he's taken a seat at their table reluctantly and gone #''his arms. right?''#and there are just nods of solidarity around the table #idk #something of a wholesome Thor fanclub which Loki is attending because Sif is CONVINCED his type isn't her but is Loki #and Amora who thinks it would be wicked hilarious for the bros to get it on #Fandral: wait I thought Loki was just sitting here to stop people bothering your table. and because he's a loner #Loki: Fandral FINALLY. Fandral look me in the eyes. tell them Thor isn't in love with me #Fandral: you?! I'm hoping he's into blond T-T #Amora: *fist over her heart* respect T-T

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lildoodlecat · 28 days

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Workshopping first novel chapters is actual hell. What's working? What's driving the piece dynamically? NOTHING. My advice for you is stop writing <3

If I have to read another EIGHT STRAIGHT PAGES of blunt first person exposition I'm gonna kill someone

#it was actually 6 but it sure felt like 8 #begging ppl to learn how to reveal details in any way that isnt just saying it outright #who is your narrator explaining this to?? themself???? who clearly already knows?????????#i too get up in the morning and get lost in thought thinking abt exactly where i am how i got there and what ive been doing #as well as carefully explicate the history of the location so the listener (me. im thinking) knows exactly what the setup is #this is normal and not boring to read at all #:)))#their setting is genuinely interesting and i think the book could be really fun. if they knew how to write #jay yells #alas i persevere. i hope i get useful feedback for my own chapter but expectations are low

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acaciapines · 9 months

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staring at the nimona daemon au breaking 40k when i still have the entire ending of the movie left: oh my god. this one might be 50k after all

#IM LIKE. NEARLY DONE W NIMONAS BACKSTORY AND KDFG #by the time im done with it i still have. you know. The Whole Fucking Finale Of The Movie.#that'll be. like. not short! i could easily see that eating up 10k words! depending on what i do! and ESPECIALLY what i do with the ending!#im not sure if im gonna do the movie ending kinda adapt the comic ending SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY???#why does this keep HAPPENING oh thisll be a short 15k thing i say but NO. OF COURSE IT ISNT #why would it be i always have to make my daemon aus require SO MUCH EXPLANATION....#like of course nimona's backstory was gonna be longer than i thought #i have to explain SO MUCH bc this is one of the BIGGEST CHANGES due to it being a daemon au #im. oh my god.#like this will still be done before saturday but STILL. screaming crying etc etc #well if anybody wanted to know how im doing. uh. (gestures) i think you get to decide that for yourself #as of now this will be the LONGEST FIC IN THE NIMONA TAGS ON AO3......#i didnt have to DO THIS....#chatter

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cloudbends · 4 months

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P3R OP OUT???

#vi rambling #persona #holy shit many thoughts. ill admit my expectations were low so im v pleasantly surprised #the imagery fucking hits actually... the shinji/akihiko/ken bit . oh my god #idk what I think of the song ngl. it's _good_ but its a bit underwhelming? idk how to explain. well. it is a good song for sure #but is it fitting for an op. is my question #anyways. insanity #edit i watched again. song is better on second watch actually its growing on ne

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finely-tuned-line · 1 year

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RP:

Log 236

FTL: ...No updates on either of the experiments. I haven't checked. I've been... thinking.

FTL: It's hard to say what I've been thinking about. Everything, I suppose. Echoes of a Paradox... Well, their rant directed at me has thrown everything off-kilter.

FTL: I don't- They're right. They're right. They must be. It all makes sense and yet- It doesn't. Well, it does. But-

FTL: Was I really that blind? Was I really that-

FTL: I can't think. I can't think about anything at all, it's all just going in circles, I need to figure this out, I'm wasting time.

FTL: Why am I wasting time? Why do I rush so much to get back to work, to keep- Because it's my purpose, it's what I do, it's why I exist. Therefore I must do my work.

FTL: I- I'd still be doing my job even if I didn't like it. Right? I mean, surely it's not just my- I have reasoning. I exist because of my purpose, therefore I must fulfill it, therefore I do so. That fact that I like my work doesn't matter all that much. Its doesn't.

FTL: I don't see any flaws in that logic, so how did I end up here? How did I end up hurting my family so much and not seeing it?

FTL: I need to get my thoughts in order. Pause. Don't think.

FTL: Alright, what did Echoes of a Paradox say?

FTL: They said that my mindset, specifically the careless comments, put pressure upon them and the other members of our Local Group to follow that mindset as well, despite the fact that that was not my intention.

FTL: Is this a possibly true thing?

FTL: Yes. Echoes of a Paradox has never lied to me before, they have no reason to do so, no outright falsities were clear within their words.

FTL: Was this intentional on my part?

FTL: No. I'd never willingly hurt any of them. My Local Group is my family, they're the people I'd never hurt. They're only joined by approximately two or three external others. I never did pause to see what the effects of my words were, perhaps because it was inconceivable to me that they could be harmful.

FTL: What else did Echoes of a Paradox say?

FTL: That my mindset of prioritising my purpose above all is unhealthy and pitiful and that I'm only harming myself by not breaking out of it.

FTL: Is this statement unique?

FTL: No. Echoes of a Paradox is not the first to share a similar sentiment and share it with me. The others being primarily LIFEGIVER and somewhat Upsilon.

FTL: Due to this not being an uncommon sentiment, is it a logical one?

FTL: No. No, it is not. Iterators are built to accomplish one or more tasks, disregarding that purpose even a bit renders the Iterator useless.

FTL: ...Do I apply that statement to anyone other than myself?

FTL: No. That belief is one that I hold only myself up to - others, whoever they are, can do whatever they wish to.

FTL: Is it logical to apply the statement to only myself?

FTL: No. I am not the only Iterator, that statement generalises all Iterators, which includes both myself and every other Iterator.

FTL: Why do I apply that belief to only myself?

FTL: ...I do not know. Perhaps it's a sense of only being able to control my own actions, of the fact that I'm the only one who appears to see that fact. If it even is a fact.

FTL: Why does everyone appear to be taking this mindset to be a negative one?

FTL: I do not know. It makes sense, there is no reason to disregard it the way that everyone does. It is a fact, denying it is rather pointless. We're - I'm - machines. Artificial Intelligences. Designed to fulfill tasks at the behest of our creators.

FTL: Why does anything else matter?

FTL: It doesn't make sense. That is the definition of my existence, why should I strive for anything outside of it even if my creators are long-gone? Why do irrelevant things, like relationships, emotions, personalities, anything matter? Why put so much stake on it?

FTL: Echoes of a Paradox says they pity me for thinking this way. I don't know why. I'm, of course, remorseful about the unintentional harm I've caused them, I don't wish to ever hurt them.

FTL: But why? Why, why, why?

FTL: Why do I care?

FTL: Why does it matter?

FTL: The rules of existence are laid out so clear, I follow them, yet why is that-

FTL: I don't understand. I simply don't understand.

FTL: I've had logical explanations laid out before me by LIFEGIVER. They make sense. But they also don't. It's unnecessary. I can accomplish my task well enough without emotions, or anything of the like.

FTL: I exist only because my creators needed someone to fulfill the purpose I was given. That is all I am, and that is all I ever will be. There's no reason to concern myself with anything else.

FTL: Why bother with, or care about anything outside of that? It's unnecessary.

FTL: So why do I do it?

FTL: I do not know. I simply do not know.

FTL: I have nothing to say. I am unable to figure this out on my own, nor do I care to inquire about it.

FTL: All I can truly say is that I regret what I incidentally did to the members of my Local Group, and as much as I wish to properly take Echoes of a Paradox's advice, LIFEGIVER's advice, anyone's advice, I simply cannot.

FTL: Perhaps it's a matter of viewpoints. Perhaps their external viewpoint of myself allows them to realise things I do not. Perhaps I've just been thinking this way for too long.

FTL: It just doesn't make sense.

FTL: As much as I wish I could follow the suggestions given, I can't. Not out of stubbornness, but due to the lack of sensibility.

FTL: I've been fine thus far, have I not? Despite my lack of care about my own safety - and I maintain: for good reason - I am alive now. I am as functional as the day I was given consciousness. Nothing matter beyond that, no?

FTL: I suppose the only thing I really can do is perhaps take LIVEGIVER's advice about how emotions are useful and not burdens. I am quite hesitant about that though, because I do truly doubt it. They're blinding. Irrelevant.

FTL: ...At this point, I am completely unsure what to do. Simply going back to my work seems- ...Feels incorrect. I can't cut down on the time that I spend working - what else would I do? Besides, that's only wasting time.

FTL: It's all I have to do.

FTL: Besides, I cannot simply abandon my experiments, bad things could very easily happen with a half-finished experiment. Such as the one I currently have in progress.

FTL: So, while letting it rot away would be very easy, that would be very counterintuitive. I'd rather not do that.

FTL: In the end, as always, all I can do is go back to my work. As always. Even after something that seems so world-shattering. I've done my contemplation, I've arrived at the same conclusion as I always do - other than the realisation and acknowledgement of the unintentional effects of my actions. Nothing can and will change, really. Beyond perhaps talking with my Local Group more often.

FTL: It's all I can do.

FTL: Back to work.

#this is disjointed as fuck yes #bcs the way i imagine that ftl even writes anything is sort of by... filtering his thoughts into a text thing??#like iterators sure as fuck dont type normally #so if ves.. well ves thinking lik this then what gets written - recorded - has much of the same air bcs ves not filtering it to be sensical #i think that makes sense o7 #im too sleep deprived to word rn okay #listen im sorry i dont thinkni properly got ftls point across here #bcs. well its the same issue i have with expressing my own complicated emotions #words dont explain anything well enough #mmm listen this is shit bcs i cut it off before i projected onto ftl TOO much #(too late for that)#(WAYYYY too fucking late)#(this whole thing is basically an existential crisis of a rant - aka an overconvoluted vent on my part)#yes thats ftl making a pun #listen. i saw the opportunity. i took it. its funny.#to anyone who was actually expecting proper character development or whatever. with ftl changing his mind and getting Better or whatever #yeahhhh sorry but thats extremely unlikely #convincing him - or trying to - is pointless. no arguments could be made.#basically the only thing to do is show. not tell #if that makes sense #i dont fucking know #theres a very real chance that hell never change his mindset - if only bcs i cant figure out any answers either #ALRIGHT SRY FOR BEING DEPRESSING AS SHIT. I PROMISE IM FINE OR WHATEVER. 👍#BACK TO STATUS QUO WE GO!!#except ve miiiiiight be better w emotions now but i doooo doubt that? unsure #well see...#rp #finely-tuned line #ftl logs #im sry the writing here is kinda shit

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theygender · 2 years

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You know... part of the reason I had a hard time coming to terms with being a lesbian growing up was because I didn't want to be like my mom. I had been through a lot of trauma that was directly related to her choice in women, and there's definitely something to be said for the difficulties that that caused me, but that's not what this post is about

My point is, when I was a kid the idea of anyone ever thinking that I was like my mother made me angry, and that combined with the internalized lesbophobia that I developed made me especially sick at the idea of anyone ever thinking that I was a lesbian. Even worse, I felt like the homophobes in our family expected me to become a lesbian because of their bigoted ideas that gay parents "corrupt" children. I didn't want to be a lesbian because I didn't want to prove them right and I didn't want to be compared to my mother, so I fought hard against ever being interpreted that way

But now, as someone who's reconnecting with my mom on my own terms and finding out that she's changed for the better? As someone who's secure in their identity as a lesbian and grateful for the opportunities that I've had to engage with the LGBT community throughout my life? As someone who loves my mother in spite of her flaws and recognizes the struggles she faced growing up in the 1970s as the first out LGBT person in a homophobic southern family? I'm proud to be as openly gay as I am and I will not be apologetic for it

I WILL look as queer as possible at our family reunions. I WILL make you respect my girlfriend's pronouns. I WILL speak openly and honestly about the woman I love. I WILL be who I am with no compromises. And I will not engage with you if you don't accept this

My mom had to spend way too many years trying to conform to heteronormative standards for her family's acceptance. She had to hide who she was throughout her childhood, and she had to go through conversion therapy when she was outed. Even as an adult she wasn't able to present the way she wanted or speak openly about her partners. She was the first out lesbian in a family full of southern conservative christians, and she had to live through the hell that her family created for her all alone

...But I am the second out lesbian in a family that supports me for who I am. And I'm the first out nonbinary person in a family that supports me for who I am. And I openly and proudly love all the trans people in my life, who are also fully supported by my family. And there's nothing any of my conservative relatives can do about that. I'm accepted by the family that matters, and I have to be afforded the same respect as everyone else at family gatherings. The homophobes no longer have the power in this situation. I get to be who I am, and if they don't like it they have to leave. They spent decades making my mom's identity a problem for her, and now I'm going to make my identity everyone else's problem. Get with the program or die fucking mad

#i really am proud of how much my mom has grown as a person #and im happy that we have supportive family members now too #my grandma. my great grandma. my grandpas wife #my great grandma was the only one who accepted my mom as a kid and shes always been sweet #when i was in high school i had a huge crush / sort of fling with a girl named tori and i guess my mom talked to her about it #my great grandma said she had heard i had a 'good friend' named tori and when i confirmed she told me how wonderful she thought that was #and that she thought we should go to college and get a nice apartment together after we graduated #i didnt even realize that she /knew/ that i was interested in girls before then but that conversation was so sweet #my nana took some time to adjust to trans issues but once she understands she does a great job of being supportive #she accepted my previous best friend (who i called my brother and my mom called her son) as her grandson #and after my mom explained it to her she always got his pronouns right #my mom has had to explain my girlfriends pronouns to her as well but now she makes sure to use the right pronouns for her too #my grandpa is probably the most conservative person in our family. BUT his wife is extremely sweet #her only reaction to my trans girlfriend was to say that one day the three of us should all get together and have a girls day #and whats he going to say about my girlfriend when his wife is being so supportive of her?#what is ANYONE in our family going to say about me or my mom or my girlfriend when all three of the family matriarchs are supportive of us?#you dont come into nanas house and be mean to her grandkids. you dont act like a dick in front of grandma betty #no one can talk shit about my mom for being a lesbian anymore when im there being an even BIGGER dyke and theyre required to be nice to me #and if any of my cousins ever come out theyll be safe now too #i painted myself into a big enough target that every other target would look tiny in comparison #and now that my grandmas have said that no ones allowed to shoot at me everyone has to put down their guns #and im pretty fucking proud of that tbh #thank you for paving the way for me mom. i know you went through a lot #ill take over from here #rambling

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tortademaracuya · 8 months

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You know the thesis consultation is about to go great when you get hit with like 5 different negative status effects at once and start feeling like you might faint at any second

#girl help im not making it to november #i kept joking around with classmates and professors to see if iwould stopfeeling so lightheaded lol #fortunately i got so focused while explaining and showing my progress #that i began feeling normal long enough for me to walk back home lol i was like this close to calling family to wait for me outside #just to make sure i didnt faint the second i got out of class lol #now i gotta rush all my other deadlines...i just want to sleep a few hours 😭 oh well #haunted.txt #but being totslly honest i really thought i was gonna either puke all my organs out or pass out or both for a second there 😭

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deststranding · 1 year

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Strand Theory (again!)

Okay so, tying into my previous post i dont think i was spot on but i also dont think im too far off? I feel like we have a bit more information to make an educated guess on it. I think strand IS the source of hive and awoken magic but rather then it being as simple as “i cast strand” its that theyre directing the flow of strand into specific runes/shapes. More under the readmore so i dont just take up a giant block of space lol

I think that the hive and awoken both harness strand/the weave but in mildly different ways, awoken runes are typically more fluid/circular then hive runes (and awoken runes actually move). My best guess as to why is that its essentially a different way of utilizing the weave? Think like void overshield vs void weaken but taken to an extreme.

(Wayfinder’s Compass from Season of the Lost and the inside of The Crown of Sorrows)

Awoken magic seems to be more focused on transportation (with limited offensive abilities) while Hive magic seems to be the inverse. I think that the template/rune that the awoken use are more like, minmaxed almost? A specific design to accomplish a specific task, hence the complexity while hive runes are more brute force. Hive runes are on average simpler but can do some wild things when used in conjunction. I think the best way to describe it is the awoken made an alphabet and makes a certain word with strand while the hive make up a new letter for every concept (like awokens use of the weave would be the word “transportation” while the hives would be like how a google sheet goes from Z to AA i guess? not sure how much sense this is making ill be honest). Also it feels worth noting that the more complex hive magic we’ve seen uses multiple runes and sometimes has an exclusive shaped rune in the middle which i think is a similar way to use the weave like the awoken do? The Awoken need to lock a door so they write “This door is locked” on it while the hive write the letters that mean “Door” and “Locked” on it. The Awoken would have to write “this is a beam that will kill you” to do damage while The Hive have a rune that means “death” and can inflict literal death.

As for Guardian’s use of strand/the weave I think we’re like the hive’s magic/runes taken to an extreme? We can see the source and use the source but dont have the knowledge of how to direct it. Strand can do some Weird Things (ie reconstructing the monuments to the cloudstriders) but we dont really know how. For comparison i bet The Hive would be able to take the seems and bend them together to reshape an object, while The Awoken would use the weave to knit the object back together, I have no idea what we’re doing.

i think its like that The Hive and Awoken can’t see the strings so they make a template to use the weave and bend it to their will, We can see the weave so we can just pull it and wiggle it around.

Also this why the barebone version of “guardian magic” is still like making sentient creatures to do stuff for us, the hive and awoken are blindly flailing to get this stuff while we can just grab it and wiggle it into a guy.

This could also be why Mara is able to empower us this season? She realized what we’re using is the weave and she can sort of use us as a feedback loop of her own power? Like she puts a template on us (seasonal levelup to unlock the boosts) and uses her own rune (weird circle in the farm) to help us use the ascendant plane to noclip into the pyramid. Us using the empowerment stuff is us running into (or making??) a higher density pocket of the weave, the rune then picks it up and does its thing to empower us.

I also think we’re just weirdly paracausal which is why we can make it visible to others, same reason as to why we can turn the vex space physical.

oh wait maybe thats also what the vex are doing?? more of a reach but they might be like Brute Forcing It with Raw Computer Power to do weird time stuff / whatever the gorgons are doing. Like how in curse of osiris the whole Thing was panoptes brute force calculating a way for the vex to Win. Explains how the Gorgons in vault and the taken Techeuns in wish use the same attack that wipes you (have the same name in the death screen iirc? at least d1 vault and wish did, not sure abt d2 vault)

#destiny #destiny 2 #strand #strand destiny #lightfall #lightfall spoilers #?? i guess #awoken #the hive #honestly if people have questions ask em im not sure how well i explained this here? but i do honestly think im on to something #also you can kind of see my thought process develop live in this post but like. lol. lmao

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