#and im sure brain ppl do to. id do a dyslexia brain study. come at me neurologists

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was rereading thru my last dyslexia assessment and its really interesting. i took it 5 years ago #which is before i really figured out how to be a person and it does match a lot of my struggles #as u might expect. like very very bad short term memory and delay in ability to call words to the surface #the last one might explain why i constantly struggle to find the words im looking for. and obviously my ability to read and spell are very #bad as well. but they dont actually drill down on why. its weird. theyre screening for problems but dont ask what the problem looks like #from my end. like my eyes dont track well across a page and i find it it difficult to read passages because my brain is constantly #interupting me with unrelated thoughts and daydreams. and you woudlnt kno that from reading this report. makes me wonder how nuanced an #understanding of dyslexia we actually have. i should read dyslexia papers bc i find it really interesting #it also makes me kinda sad bc the person assessing me made notes like: very attentive and focused. obviously anxious when under assessment #like aw poor anxious freak lol. i also clearly did not fucking understand what they were asking on the executive function assessment #bc i answered that i had no problems there and i clearly have problems with just about everything asked abt and i kno i did then as well #it must have been academicly originated and like i can do school. im good at school. but everything else is a disaster #to clarify. i wonder how much assessment of how dyslexia is experienced when assessments are just looking got indications that #its happening. bc if u kno its there as a teacher it doesnt really matter what it looks like to u. but i personally find it v interesting #and im sure brain ppl do to. id do a dyslexia brain study. come at me neurologists #also questions like: r u able to stay organized? me: of course! i only exist in like 3 locations so even if i lose things theyre easy to #find in the massive disorganized pile of things i leave behind #its very funny to me reading that report as i take these measurements where my workspace looks a disaster and im constantly losing my pen #and forgetting what i need to do. then suddenly remembering. like can i stay focused? yes. i stay so focused that i burn my brain to dust #ay ay ay. at least i still feel ok abt my measurement taking. tho my ability to sleep is already in decline so im sure that wont last long #bc thats how it goes. an up mood where maybe i wanna run around in circles screaming a bit but its all good. not getting a ton of sleep and #doing too much. then burning out and losing stability. pulled forward by my own compulsive thoughts #but for now were good. and someday ill do a dyslexia deep dive bc i really really wanna kno but also i cant read which makes learning hard #when u want academic info lol #unrelated