#i have many thoughts

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

My brain is on fire same I can’t sleep and am thinking of this:

The way she writes about marriage/family/commitment through these different situations across the album is soooooooooo interesting.

You have a very intense first experience of it in “The Manuscript,” where it is first dangled in front of her/the narrator’s young, impressionable self as shorthand for real love in a situation that ended up being smoke and mirrors. She’s being told everything she wants to hear by someone who basically thinks it’s just foreplay. In the end, when it’s clear that the other person has no intention of actually making a life with her, it makes her feel used, but she forces herself to recalibrate and become the girl she thinks he and all the other hes want her to be. Easy breezy cool. But there’s a sense of loss in realizing those hopes were merely banter to the other.

You have the “grown up” version of it alluded to in “So Long, London” and “How Did It End?”, the years of putting in work to save a relationship and the “deflation of our dreaming leaving [her] bereft and reeling” leading to them “calling it all off.” The implication is clearly that they built a home together with plans for next steps at a point in time, but the commitment is shattered. (Obviously to me it sounds like marriage.) She’s bitter at spending her “prime” years with someone who ultimately didn’t want to be there, even if he couldn’t or wouldn’t admit it himself.

She felt like she did everything she was supposed to, but they were learning the right steps to different dances at as it were. Those dreams were at one point shared, but in the end they weren’t right for each other and she admits that, though bitterly (“I founded the club she’s heard great things about” eg the years she put in for him to help him grow up will end up benefiting his new lover, “but I’m not the one,” “you’ll find someone,” etc.). Mixed in with all this of her resentment of him wasting her youth (sacrificing herself at the altar), and his resentment of her for reasons less defined, and insinuations of betrayal in the shadows. The fantasy of the whole package disappears into the ether, yet she still has no answers as to how they got there.

Then in comes the wolf in sheep’s clothing in many of the rest of the songs, the one who promises her all those things she’s dreamed of since she was a kid instantly. After years of moulding herself to other men’s desires, someone comes in and tells her exactly what she wants to hear at the most vulnerable time of her life, as though the universe is answering her prayers, like some sort of cosmic payback for all she’s suffered, and it’s the most intoxicating drug of all. She’s gone from her wish for a family life feeling like she’s in a way being used for her body, to it being used as a chain to a relationship gone sour, to having someone put a metaphorical ring on her finger and tell her he wants to have babies with her, fuck those other guys.

In her grief and stupor, it’s too good to be true, which is exactly why she falls for it. But of course, it’s all an illusion, because this wolf is an amalgamation of the worst of all the men who came before him. He tells her everything she wants to hear not to make her dreams come true, but to make his. He takes the worst parts of these scenarios to make his move: he’ll stand by her, he’ll commit, he’ll do it out in the open under the spotlight’s glare (all things desperately lacking in her last relationship), but after he beds her he stabs her in the back in private and leaves her. He got what he wanted at the expense of her losing everything she wanted, this time as her world caved in seemingly for good. She feels like she gave up everything she thought she might have had for a chance that this is where the universe has been point her all along, only to be left broken for good (you represent the loss of my life as I knew it).

Then there are two sort of codas to this. In “But Daddy I Love Him” we get a sassier reimagining of “Love Story,” where the girl with the scarlet letter is mouthy and crass and tells everyone to go fuck themselves for cursing her in the first place, choosing her love above all else. And no, those haters can’t come to her wedding. Her daddy may have come around, but they sure can’t. Finally it seems someone is choosing her and will someday give her these things, and she’ll be able to show all the naysayers. (Also interestingly one of the more fictionally-veiled songs which ends happily vs the diaristic ones that don’t.)

Then of course there’s “So High School,” our first glimpse into what the future holds. Probably the only unabashedly happy (nay… electric?) song on the album, it’s all about reclaiming the buzz of youth (which is a whole other post) with a new lover. “Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? It’s just a game but really, I’m betting on all three for us two.” It’s, er, a direct nod to a certain now-infamous interview, but again, she’s staking her claim on her future, if not certain then at least hopeful again. This time the prospect doesn’t come with a “but.” It’s not, we’ll be pushing strollers but actually you’re too young. It’s not, we had these dreams for our future but actually I can’t move forward. It’s not, I’m going to promise you a ring and a baby but only until my needs are met and then I’m out. It’s, I know what I wanted and I’m not leaving, and thanks to that now she stays too.

The album dealt with the theme not at all in the way I expected, but is absolutely fascinating.

#writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about Taylor lyrics #the tortured poets department #i have many thoughts #No brain power

[pupkashi]

f1 racer!satoru 💭🏎️

a/n: hi friends ! i have had this au rattling in my head like a damn maraca for SO LONG im so glad i finally got around to putting it out for yall :3 this might be for a very niche group of people but i hope the five of you who enjoy f1 will appreciate this 🙏 let me know what yall think if you’d like him to make a reappearance in drabbles or one shots !! <3

masterlist

f1 racer!satoru who is mercedes golden boy, replacing lewis hamilton after his move to ferrari, going toe to toe with the likes of red bull and Ferrari racers

f1 racer!satoru who is loved across the grid and in the general public, think Italian men with charles leclerc, he’s the people’s princess, truly

f1 racer!satoru who dominates his rookie year, leaving everyone stunned at how truly talented and amazing he is

f1 racer!satoru who has the most followers on social media from everyone on the grid, everyone fawning over him constantly

f1 racer!satoru who loves the attention, but all of it seems so meaningless the second he meets you, falling hard and fast from the couple conversations you had, giving you free tickets for the race in an attempt to get more time with you

f1 racer!satoru who shows up and shows out the Grand Prix that weekend, eyes searching the crowd as tries his best to focus on his post race interviews

f1 racer!satoru finds you in the crowd as he steps onto the podium, smile widening and dimples popping out, he’s laughing as his podium mates douse him in champagne, all of them taking a swig from the comically large champagne bottle

f1 racer!satoru who says his to you with champagne dripping down his face and off his snowy hair, asking what the odds were of you letting him take you out on a date where he’s not working

f1 racer!satoru who is impossible to not fall for, with his witty replies and pretty blue eyes, he has you weak in the knees and on FaceTime every night

f1 racer!satoru who takes you carting, letting you win and treating you to dinner afterwards, buzzing with nervousness as he asks you to be his

f1 racer!satoru who is elated to have you as his partner, having you fly out with him whenever you could to his races, explaining everything about formula 1 to you beforehand, chest warming when he realizes how focused you look on his every word

f1 racer!satoru who develops a pre-race ritual with you, having you hype him up and giving him a good luck kiss before the two of you walk out of his driver room and into the garage, he’s zipping up his driver suit and asking you to help adjust his balaclava, smiling when you kiss his nose and wish him luck

f1 racer!satoru who seems to become even better after he started dating you, managing to podium every race and putting up a fight against a dominating red bull team; in every interview he says it’s not only the car but his amazing lover who helps him push every lap

f1 racer!satoru who has a picture of you in his helmet as his lockscreen, and you have one of him in his fireproofs as yours

f1 racer!satoru who gets dubbed ‘the grids angel boy’ after you commented on his post fresh off his Japan Grand Prix win ‘congratulations my angel boy’

the entire grid loves you, announcers and commentators always excited when you show up to a race, cameras showing you in the Mercedes garage ‘and we have y/n in the garage today!’ you smile brightly at the camera, ‘i guess we know who’s gonna get pole position for qualifying tonight’

f1 racer!satoru who drives you around in his fancy Mercedes, sports and classic cars, exploring every city with you, treating you to expensive food and presents, walking hand in hand with you down the streets of Monaco, taking pictures of you at the beach in Miami and sending flowers when you can’t make it to his races

f1 racer!satoru who is absolutely smitten over you, adding your initial to his helmet hidden among the design, showing it to you with sparkling blue eyes as your heart flutters

f1 racer!satoru who runs to you after every race, cupping your face in his hands and kissing you on the lips before celebrating with his team

#i have many thoughts #f1 racer!gojo #f1 au #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru au #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru x reader fluff #satoru gojo fluff #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x y/n #satiru gojo au #jjk au #jujutsu kaisen au #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #gojo satoru headcanons #jujustsu kaisen x reader #gojo fluff #gojo x you #jjk gojo #satoru gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo

[stevenrogered]

ONE DAY ↳book > screen

In the years he was with Emma, he sometimes wondered idly what life would be like if she weren’t around; not in a morbid way, just pragmatically, speculatively, because don’t all lovers do this? Wonder what he would be without her? Loss has not endowed him with any kind of tragic grandeur, it had just made him stupid and banal. Without her, he is without merit or value or purpose. 

#one day #one day netflix #onedayedit #emma morley #dexter mayhew #leo woodall #bts one day #one day spoilers #tvedit #netflixedit #netflix #ugh these two #one day tv #mystuff #one day netflix spoilers #well #i have many thoughts #most of which are how do we get leo woodall an emmy for this

[katsukiizmoon]

Katsuki telling you to fuck your self on his cock. Bet he hisses while Watching the way you slowly grind down on it.

It’s that good “let’s just spend some time making eachother feel good” sex. Not rushed, not insanely romantic either— just because you can.

#i have many thoughts #my screen time for today is up and went over what I wanted #but alas #i have thoughts #[ katsuki ] #[ nsft ] #[ mini ] #< mlist >

[koshercosplay]

the owl house finale spoilers without context

#this is all that is consuming my brain right now #sorry pesach #lol #spoilers without context #the owl house #toh #watching and dreaming #it was soooooooo good #i have MANY thoughts

[a-nybodys]

girl help i cant stop thinking about steddie being in their thirties with a kid/kids and being domestic

whenever eddies with the kid by himself, everyone always coos over them and asks where mom is, and eddie invents different gruesome deaths for her every time.

“oh she died in a tragic rock climbing goat attack incident 😔”

“she was kidnapped by the japanese mafia and was killed off when no one would pay her ransom”

“oh its so sad, she fell into a woodchipper :(“

steve is on the pta, and hes determined to make better pie than fucking cheryl, and whenever she gets particularly pissy, steve brings eddie with him to the next meeting. scary dog privileges

they fulfill steves dream of traveling around in an rv every summer, theyre that family that have the bucket list to go to every national park

#tht video of eddie van halen with his son rlly did me in #thanks for coming to my ted talk #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #st4 #stranger things s4 #30s steve has glasses just so we’re all clear here #u kno that one meme with the ‘do and dont’ of holding a child? steve and eddie #anyway might add onto these later #i have many thoughts

[puppietooth]

his little heels oooooooouuuu

#i have many thoughts #carmy berzatto #jeremy allen white #sydcarmy

[mailboxwithaletterinside]

Ethel Cain, "Sun Bleached Flies" // Supernatural, 2005-2020.

#sam winchester #supernatural #spn #spn edit #ethel cain #sam & dean #dean winchester #john winchester #spn screencaps #samgirl posting... #more likely to come #i have Many Thoughts

[swearphil]

MARY AND GEORGE | 1.03 "NOT SO MUCH BY LOVE AS BY AWE"

#mary and george #mary & george #mary and george spoilers #maryandgeorgeedit #gifs #mine #usersteen #lookstevie #rmd tracks #userlang #usersmblmn #alielook #userrin #usermbg #iuserzoe #userzaynab #userfinches #the way he looks at james in the key in the second gif #i have many thoughts

[saintyx-111]

that moment when kudou and bakugou are first and foremost protectors of yoichi and deku rather than trying to protect the quirk that is One For All and this entire time bakugou has only thought of izuku because that is who he is fighting for and dont forget that when you think of someone you love in my hero academia, you get stronger and yoichi here realizes that and he-

#i have many thoughts #bnha #mha #bkdk #deku #bakudeku #boku no hero academia #izuku midoriya #kacchan #my hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #mha yoichi #idk what the 1st and 2nd users tags are lol #katsuki bakugou #bakugo katsuki

[luna-lovegreat]

Note to self- never let Downfall Duo be near someone telling a story

-the entire chain in this update

If Wild wasn't glued to his sword Twilight's side right now, he'd be next to those two *internally screaming triple threat*- but I love that he was chilling in wolf trio

I love Downfall Duo- look at these gremlins with the same face

From @linkeduniverse :D

#also yes I have noticed how angry wars has been for a while #I was going to make a post on it and might wait #I have many thoughts #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu triple threat #lu legend #lu hyrule #Lu wolf trio #downfall duo

[cadathecat]

i prefer sitting in the shadows now.. good spot for plotting and scheming..

#i have many thoughts #cats of tumblr #cada the cat #black cats #cats #animals

[howdoyouwhiskit]

*deep breath* so I’ve been meaning to make a big post about House re:mobility aids and chronic pain treatment for a LONG time so here we go this is gonna be a long ride that probably won’t make a lot of sense in regards to a linear narrative so buckle up motherfuckers

Disclaimer: I am disabled, have chronic pain, and am an ambulatory mobility aid user. I have experience using a cane, forearm crutches, a rollator, and a walker. I understand everyone’s experiences are different. I am writing this from my personal experience with mobility aids which may influence some interpretations of things

Let’s start with the obvious one, House uses his cane wrong. They recognize this in canon. It isn’t simply a case of “oh the show writers were lazy and it’s never mentioned.” What I haven’t seen people discuss is that using a cane the way House does (in my experience anyways) fucking hurts. It isn’t comfortable at all. It feels awkward and clunky and at least personally within a few minutes of using a cane in that fashion my *entire body* hurts. Plus, it doesn’t even really help take the pressure off of my leg pain.

Given the all of him there’s two conclusions that I’d like to make about this (and remember this isn’t canon, just simply my interpretation as a disabled person):

It’s very obvious that House has Feelings about mobility aids. Society can often make people think that using mobility aids is a weakness. Admitting something is wrong. House very clearly doesn’t like to do either of those things. I personally have incredibly complicated feelings about mobility aids that I can’t even begin to put into words. I see myself in House in this regard.

I can’t help but think that him using his cane incorrectly is some fucked up form of self punishment. It’s been brought up in canon that House has a tendency to self harm in various ways. I don’t think that people realizing that him using a cane incorrectly could be related. For those who are unfamiliar, using any mobility aid (even a cane) incorrectly can cause damage. I do not claim to be a doctor but I imagine that House would be dealing with back and shoulder issues at minimum from using his cane the way he does.

The next thought I have is something I think about a lot. It’s clear House’s pain fluctuates, as it does for a lot of chronic pain patients. What I don’t see a lot of people talking about is realistically he could fluctuate mobility aids with the fluctuations of his pain. Yes, I understand there are limitations within his career as a doctor, but this is House MD were talking about there isn’t exactly always exact medical realism is there? I just can’t help but wonder, what would House’s life look like, if he let himself use something other than a cane?

I know there’s an episode where House does use a wheelchair for access to an accessible parking space, and I really really wish they expanded upon this more in canon. Personally, I think House needing to be (but not necessarily acting on it) a part time ambulatory wheelchair user makes sense.

I’ve read some fic/headcanons about House needing a wheelchair (Berber it be due to an advancement in disability or as an acceptance of his current disability) yet everyone talks about him using a shitty hospital grade chair. He’s a doctor who probably has great insurance plus a lofty department head paycheck. If House were in a position to have a wheelchair, he could very very easily access a top of the line custom made chair.

I understand the representation of the standard hospital chair often comes from a place of ignorance about custom wheelchairs, I really do. I just think that the concept of using a hospital chair permanently can cloud the judgement of if it’s truly a “bad thing” or not. Hospital wheelchairs are fucking uncomfortable and not easy to use. A custom chair, when built right, is none of these things.

Just, I’d love more House fanwork that embraces the idea of mobility aids. No, I don’t mean make House randomly decide “oh I’m gonna accept help now” and make him OOC. No, I mean let’s actually dive into House’s feelings about mobility aids, create some fanworks where maybe he works through some of his internalized ableism and self hatred and lets himself be accommodated. I hate seeing fic after fic that makes it seem like it’s some tragedy that House needs crutches or a walker or wheelchair. I want it to be normalized. Disability can be progressive and that’s just life. Yes, it’s upsetting. Yes, it can be sad to those involved. No, it doesn’t mean the end of the world.

Now I think it’s time to talk in regards to the treatment of his chronic pain, outside of the way he accommodates his mobility. I think that, while this is probably related to the writers wanting to stick to the “addicted to Vicodin” plot line, House’s pain management in the series, sucks, to put it lightly. I’ve been to multiple pain management programs (both at formal PM clinics and informal PM done by other specialists) and any doctor worth their salt would have had him on some sort of nerve pain medication and probably some form of muscle relaxer from the very beginning. While, yes, one could argue that House is on these medications and it’s just not mentioned, I really really don’t think that’s the case. You could also argue that he may have been offered these things, and simply refused them. This could very well be the case. However, that doesn’t erase the fact that these things could be helpful.

When House is off Vicodin, they have him substantiating off of exclusively ibuprofen. I’ve had chronic pain bad enough to need opioids treated with high doses of ibuprofen and in my personal experience, it doesn’t do shit. It just upsets your stomach and risks kidney issues and doesn’t actually help with the pain. The fact that just because he deals with addiction he doesn’t get proper pain management is BONKERS to me.

I understand that they were, within the shows canon, attempting to claim that at least some of the pain was psychological. Just because someone’s pain is psychological doesn’t mean you do not treat it. There are plenty of ways to treat psychological pain. Again, one could argue that House simply refused. Again, I’d say that you might be right.

You notice that I say that House very realistically could’ve refused various treatments that could make his life better. Just like how it is with his cane, I believe this is an effort at self punishment. If these efforts at self punishment are conscious or not is genuinely up to you. I personally view it as unconscious, but again, as I said in the beginning, I’m interpreting this the way I see things.

Anyways, just needed to get my thoughts out there, as a crippled person who’s been obsessed with House since before they realized that their chronic pain wasn’t normal. Since before they realized that the word disabled was something that could be applied to them.

Feel free to reply to this with thoughts or questions and y'all are more than welcome to DM me to pick my brain about this!

#i have many feelings #i have many thoughts #chomping at the bit wanting to scream #these have been in my brain for years thanks for asking #house md #hate crimes md #gregory house

[absolute-flaming-trash]

Mahito and his inability to put that weapon away

#Mahito #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #Mahito JJK #i have many thoughts #none of them are holy #I spend more time than I'm willing to admit thinking about these #🛐🛐🛐 #riri rambles

[ahlaway]

Okay, but real talk, if Tubbo goes Federation informant for real / hard manipulation, the other islander's will be at fault.

Hear me out:

From the beginning there has been this like. Really unfair view on Tubbo. His chat is scolded for metagaming (as it should be) but he's also talked down to a lot for not just accepting things.

He won't just accept they're trapped because the older islanders say they've tried and failed. He won't just trust islanders who've been trustworthy in the past (ex Bad) who are no longer acting trustworthy. He's trying the same methods other people have tried because he wasn't there for it.

Any nerfs happen? That's Tubbos fault. Never mind that they were bound to nerf create the moment another big create member joined because how they were using it to break puzzles instead of doing the puzzles.

People are constantly picking and blaming him for things and then saying his suspicious because the federation doesn't do anything about him. Despite the fact that the federation does not give that boy a moment of peace, and have not since he arrived.

Meanwhile people like Bad and Pierre have only just begun to experience the horrors, despite how long they've been breaking the rules and causing trouble.

Then you look at interactions he's had and BOI. From his POV alone I wouldn't blame him if he didn't trust any of these people.

(mandatory this is only referring to RP characters.)

Tubbo is an adult. However, he is BARELY and adult, and that is something that is important to note, and I don't mine saying with his "i'm minor coded" joke. Like, as someone approaching 30 I can't imagine interacting with a 19 year old the same way I would someone near my age. So keep that in mind for my thinking going forward.

He's pulled from the ice and a few days later he's approached by a crazy bear with a gun and the power of create that tells him he HAS to do a task. One that will betray someone he's made friends with and an egg. He tries to refuse and the bear starts shooting.

So he does it, thinking he has no choice.

Then two men, who are like, MVP, highly respected, defenders of the island, tell him he should have just died. In fact, he was selfish for not dying on that hill, and that the father of that egg is going to be FURIOUS with him.

To the point that Tubbo is freaking out when Fit catches him trying to fix what he had to break for his task, and make things right.

Is it any wonder he thought he was capital D dead when he "lost" one of these men's eggs?

Now jump cut.

Boy is pressured by men into spinning a wheel that, lets be honest, probably only had bad outcomes, and then is told it's his fault. HE killed the eggs.

Which leads to local teen burning in lava in a breakdown.

And don't even get me started on the drama that was two men who live in a different zip code losing their minds because local teen does yard renovations.

One of which being someone said teen is convinced kidnapped someone, and has tried to gaslight him about it.

Like, outside of the morning crew, Fred is kind of the best relationship Tubbo's got going for him at the moment.

#qsmp #this is a mess #it's kinda just word vomiting my thoughts #qsmp tubbo #tubbo is both an adult and a teen which makes the treatment he's gotten weird to me #I have many thoughts

[xenterra]

Would you still love me if I were forced into a giant furnace that simultaneously melted my flesh and reformed me in metal? Would you still love me if my immortal soul was consumed and I was left as nothing but a cruel parody of life? Would you still love me if I was in a coma for millions of millennia and upon awaking I had (willingly?) forgotten everything that had happened? And now you must listen as I retell, for the hundredth time, memories you yourself should remember. Would you still love me even as you watch me sip from empty cups with my unmoving mouth and remember everything I ever was and never will be again?

#necrons #warhammer 40k #vargard obyron #nemesor zahndrekh #severed #wh 40k #i have many thoughts