#im not diminishing it

[wishful-seeker]

I will soon be the only person in my close family to not finish college because illness forced me to leave, and thats a strange feeling. Im not sure how i feel about it.

I feel a little alienated because of it, but even though i LOVE learning and i enjoyed college classes, i didn't enjoy college itself.

Even in high school i was the "sick kid" and missed a year there, so feeling like i don't belong isn't new.

But i really thought I'd meet people like me in college, but all i found was snobby rich kids that ignored my existence. I genuinely tried making friends but college students are not my type of people.

I don't know if this is because i wore braces on my knees, or because they could tell i was poor, not sure but college kids always gave me bad vibes.

Im sad that the things im truly passionate about isn't taught in college, and i miss the classes i did have, but i don't think a fancy college was ever my scene. Maybe i would've fit better at a community college. But im probably too disabled to ever find out.

Idk i guess it feels strange because i was heavily encouraged to go to college, and now i can't even if i wanted to. Its weird that i could probably guess the view outsiders have of my life, how they'd feel bad for me, or laugh at what I've become.

And i think of that a lot: how outsiders may view my life. "Oh so sad, look how far she's fallen." Ya know

But im happy

I LIKE my life, sure i got all As and Bs in college, sure i won a writing contest in my class, and yes i also completed a triathlon before all this. So many medals saying "look how hard i worked, look what i accomplished" but when i was accomplishing those trival things i was really lost and alone on the inside, those medals were to convince myself i was better than the years before this one, a lie that i was becoming my best self.

But now all that shit is gone, dead, useless to me. Eventually i was left alone, with NO distractions, only my mind and a body i couldn't move in. Only a bed, in a room, no where else to go. Everything i thought that mattered, everything i connected my worth with, suddenly didn't mean anything anymore, because all that was was my chronic pain, and what i did with it. All that mattered now was fighting for a better life, for freedom from a bed, for freedom within my head.

I had to rebuild myself from nothing, i had to literally rewire my brain. I studied neuroplasticity and my only goal was to train my brain to be able to live with this pain. And i had to change a LOT. I can tell you my mind and the internal dialog in my head is completely different from 2 years ago, and also much a much kinder, and safer place.

So no, i won't finish college, im gonna be poor forever, i wont work, but i am much happier.

I finally feel like the best version of myself. The challenges i face in my life are no longer overwhelming, but a cycle ive grown rather fond of. Im so secure with myself that i can say "this next hardship will be good for me." And i don't think many people have the privilege of being that optimistic when faced with stressful situations.

It would have taken me my whole life to get to this point if i was still focusing on things like grades.

Im happy, and im more proud of myself than when i beat a triathlon, or won art contests.

#yes im romanticizing my pain because its how i cope #im not diminishing it #im not trying to be a “good cripple” #im just being honest #cripple punk #CRPS #disability #chronic illness

[bamsara]

being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now

#wish i could tell younger me that i wasnt fucked up i was just autistic #even if youre not nd i still think having things you enjoy around you is important especially for your space #so i make a notable effort to get fandom stuff for my younger siblings now #like my lil sister thinks getting demon slayer stuff is cringe cause anime and what not (havent read it sorry) #but her face still lights up when i get her a pin for her #or a blind bag with a character keychain #and very slowly the self hatred and whatever it feels like that youre not allowed to like anything and that anything you like is bad #starts to diminish #my qpp is obsessed with birds and chickens and has so many trinkets around the house for it #or my friend who loves how pretty stained glass looks that his walls are covered in thrifted stain glass pieces #i know an elderly couple who are obsessed with star trek and they have a room in the house purely for shelves stacked with collectables #my friend's dad is so obsessed with spiderman that he has 3 walls full of figurines and posters and collectables that prob amoutn to tons #like i dont get it but i get it #maybe its because im sick rn but im in my head tonight about human loving things and stories and cocepts to the point of comfort #sara shush #ramble

[dailypearldoodles]

Maybe a lil angry cleaning lady Pearl (since she found out grian went and duped her egg)

Day 405

i honestly cant wait for her to confront him about it. i will have popcorn ready and everything XD

#daily pearl doodles #pearlescentmoon #grian #hermitcraft #mod morph #the feeling has been like just the slightest bit diminished since #uh i just finished reading a rather angsty skyduo fic lmao #im sure theyll have fun with it XD

[dinoserious]

arc goes on a silly little trip to a dying kingdom on a finding nemo style search for its kid

#i think arc would be severely diminished in hallownest being outside its realm of influence+it is still rather young at this point #so its blending in with the locals to make navigating easier #this crossover involves baby gira slipping thru the cracks and somehow ending up in another universe. arc follows to find it #does seeing the decay+failure of the deities in this world leave a lasting impact on arc as an inexperienced young deity itself? well. :) #iffy on this design i did it quick but its hitting a lot of points i wanted generally. i dont wanna make it too fancy. simplicity is a poin #arc can manifest some extra arms (made of solid white light)+wield two more swords #brings resemblance to its wheel #has some elements that resemble the radiance. this is purposeful. not bc of malignance on arcs part they are both sun based deities #im justt fuckin around. smile #pokemon #arceus #sketch #also uuuh if youre seeing this wo any context for my arc n baby gira stuff check this tag: #poke mythos #or even #baby gira

[inamagicalhallucination]

atsushi and akutagawa being together works so well becuz, only focusing on atsushi, atsushi can be the "worst" of himself when he's with ryuu -- well actually the uncensored version of himself, if he's pissed, he's pissed, if he's bitchy he's bitchy, if he wants to deal with shit with his fists he will -- and its not like atsushi cant be himself with the ada but with aku there was never a sense of expectations -- so if atsushi and akutagawa ever got together, if atsushi ever tried to make akutagawa proud of him, or if he wanted him to look at him, or if he just overall wanted to be someone to him, it wouldnt be out of a feeling that he has to to have worth, nor would he have to worry about showing his less censored parts of himself, if that makes sense -- it would be becuz he wants, atsushi would be able to give parts of himself he already gives, but they would be done with trust and becuz he wants to

#im not diminishing ada's relationship with atsushi im just soft for sskk rn btw

[ganondoodle]

since i cant stop thinking about things i care about and also i cant shut up ever im gonna say my bit about the "well of COURSE they destroyed everything shiekah after botw bc it nearly killed the entire country DUH do you not understand basic worldbuilding??" type of comment i had directed at me (mostly on twitter to no ones surprise and almost exactly worded like this)

--how would you even destroy it, the only thing you can actually damage with anything are guardians and nano-guardians, anything else cant even get scratched, hell you cant even climb the darn things, are you seriously trying to tell me they somehow completely pulverized not just the shrines but titans (divine beasts), the shrine of life and the pillars holding the guardians in storage around hyrule castle and the dome beneath it (whereever that went lol) when it was built to and DID last over 10 000 years ... and if you did somehow find a way to dismantle literally all of it why would you not ... use its parts for something else and also research it (lets be real here, purahs new towers are just the sheikah towers but more impractical and would by all means not need all of the material from all the missing stuff and the purahpad is just ... literally the shiekah stone but looking more like the switch and also worse bc its got almost none of the functions the shiekah stone had) they were so integrated into botws landscape removing them and their chambers would have been so much effort better spent in other places and just so unnecessary (think of the shrines at the twin mountains, removing all of that would be so dangerous and difficult to do), removing the pillars and the dome under the castle would endanger it collapsing no? there also would have needed to be a giant mechanism down there to make the pillars rise up, why would you go and try to destroy that instead of focusing on rebuilding the most important infrastrucutre

(on a sidenote, yes there are holes to the underground in the place of some shrines but its by far not all of them .. .even so there at the very least should be some rubble of them lying about at the bottom plus in most of their places its just plain earth, or sometimes even a cave locked by some puzzle which is.... so weird)

really the only explanation would be that it all just ... disappeared after zelda sealed ganon, which wouldnt only be hella unsatisfying as an answer but also again pose the problem that i would have caused the castle to collapse considering how shiekah tech was so integrated into it... unless it turned to earth somehow ... which would explain that but still be as satisfying of an explanation as 'it was all just a dream uwu' additionally, the zonau stuff under the castle wasnt even that far down so it must have intersected with the shiekah stuff, like the pillars or the dome?? but no its all just zonau ruins now wahoo

if literally all traces were gone and totk was a paralel to botw but with zonau instead of shiekah OK, they still called it a sequel tho, they still talk about the events of botw but in a way that sounds like it was just another lost legend, the tapestry exists as well, and there are a few old guardian parts on top of the hateno institute (still feels like an oversight considering how cleanly everything else was wiped off the map), plus purahs towers and the purahpad are clearly based off of it, so it cant really be some time fuckery either, some things still remain; it just doesnt add up and its frustrating as hell .. ... especially if you were like me completely thrilled and intrigued to learn more about the ancient shiekah, what WAS that dome under the castle for?? what WAS ancient energy really and why was it found in these specific places only?? did they know about ganondorf?? if they built stuff down there shouldnt they have inevitably come across the old tunnels?? the monks literally talk to link in botw why would they withhold that info, what reason could they have?

--by far my biggest annoyance with that excuse is that ... if you are so afraid of tech you dont fully understand being taken over by the bad guy again to the point you destroy not just the titans you basically worshipped as divine protectors but also immovable shrines that literally couldnt do shit to harm you even if they were pumped up to the brim with malice/miasma after they have already become non threatening/non functional anyway... HOW could you just go and fully trust and personally play around with new tech that LITERALLY rained from the sky out of nowhere, from a group of people no one knows shit about (like at least the shiekah were still existing and had a small part of recorded history) and never cared either until now that they are suddendly everywhere, even if it cant get corrupted somehow (kinda disproven by the spirit temple) how the hell would anyone know that?? if anything this would be a reason to be MORE afraid of it

even the ancient king that persecuted the shiekah bc he was afraid of their tech when they invented it didnt order them to destroy it, just bury it, despite them of all people knowing the best of how to completely destroy it??? and zelda doesnt seem like the type that would order old history and relics to be destroyed liek that??

it would have been such a golden opportunity to show that hey, the ancient shiekah based their tech on that of the zonau, they found the mines and tech and reasearched it to built their own from it, strucutres that show they were down here building the shrines from underground, titan prototypes, you cant do anything with it, its old and broken, but its there, environmental storytelling and all that

the shrine of life especially pisses me off bc thats like .. ok it was kinda not the best maybe but it still saved links goddamn life, even if it all became useless for some reason at least leave it there as a sign of respect, if there needs to be a cave have it be half collapsed after the cataclysm or something wheres the problem

(also idk if im the only one with that but in botws true ending when zelda says that vah ruta, i think, has stopped working it seemed like a good setup for more? and that she wanted to investigate that in the sense of ah shoot i want it to keep working tho and not in the sense of hell yeah lets smash it to pieces i know this is theory territory now but it seemed like it somewhat confirmed that the titans need a pilots strong spirit to work since they are not connected to the ancient energy network and the spirits of the champions passed on at the end ... the idea that ancient energy was spirit energy either gained from luminous stones or directly spirits is so neat, and i loved that idea of hey the reason why all of the energy went out all of the sudden is bc ganondorf is breaking free after having been kept in a stasis to use either his malice or his strong spirit to fuel it all has never left my mind since i first read about it bc its such a good setup for intrigue, like oh heck the ancient shiekah werent so coolio and 100% perfectly good either, maybe they knew about gans 'future' or history and hey why not trick him or sth into being sealed against his will so that problem is out the way and whoop hes pretty much an infinite source of energy nice lets use that for our research and not tell anyone oh no we created a monster (calamity gan) l guess we are gonna use the tech we fuel with his own life against him lol, OR you could have connceted it to the zonau maybe doing the sealing first and the shiekah discovering him later and being like oh neat an endlessly rich powersource we arent gonan tell anyone about weehoo

it would have tied into the ancient shiekah stuff, explained why it doesnt work well anymore, give a reason to explore the underground and discover it all, give a reason to why it was kept a secret bc no one wanted to admit yeah we made this monster ourselves whoops, give ganondorf a reason to be this angry and make it all more nuanced bc yeah ok maybe the zonau knew about gan and in their effort to prevent it caused it instead by sealing him before he became a problem and it all started a domino effect of disasters leading into all this mess that now poor zelda and link gotta solve

im not saiyng this is the better version or that i am better but again you can literally do so much with the setup for it all and what totk ended up doing with it feels so ... not even underused but straight up backwards treading you had it right on front of you INFINITE POTENTIAL AAARGH)

theres only so much fun gameplay and fantastic music can save and man can you imagine what could have been if the story got the same polish as the gameplay and music ;__;

#ganondoodles talks #ganondoodles opinions #zelda #totk #the best part of totk is the yiga clan and the music #fuck the music got me more emotional than the actual happenings #anyway compeltely random thought #but why was the gerudo temple light-mirror themed and the lead up to the spirit one lightning themed #what #again i LIKE this game #but i want to LOVE it #and yeah fun gameplay is important #a good story can save bad gameplay and great gamplay can save a bad story #but you know whats even better #good gameplay and good story #its not somethign that cant coexist #and yeah a bad story can diminish the fun im having with the gameplay #some people seriously argued -imagine playing video games for the story- to me and i ????? what #this all got way longer than i wanted again ... #longpost

[messrmoonyy]

one question I always have for Molly fans is if she hated Dutch so much and how he treated her why didn’t she just leave? You can’t say Dutch was abusive to her when he must’ve done something that made her stay 🤷🏼‍♀️

First of all Molly didn’t hate Dutch. That’s the entire point of her behaviour. She didn’t hate him. She loved him. Even when he was treating her so poorly she still loved him, loved him enough that Milton admits they questioned her multiple times and she never spoke a word. If she hated him she could’ve quite easily have told them exactly where Dutch was and what his plans were.

Secondly. Where was she supposed to go? You can read it in her poem that she left everything for Dutch. She has nothing outside of that gang.

Also I think it’s very telling too to note that Molly does leave eventually. When Arthur gets to Lakay one of the girls ( I think it was Karen I cant remember but it was one of the girls ) mentions that they hadn’t seen Molly since the whole thing with the bank went to shit, so ever since the boys ended up in Guarma Molly ran away. Only to be dragged right back again in the end, leading into the confrontation with her in Beaver Hollow.

Notice how the one time she finally runs is when Dutch isn’t around anymore? And it’s also worth noting, she only got as far as Saint Denis. Cause again, where else is she meant to go?

With the way Dutch isolated her I doubt she had much, if any, money to her name by that point. She was also wanted just by connection to Dutch. Where was she supposed to go?

You can be a fan of Dutch and still acknowledge his poor treatment of Molly. He manipulated, gaslit and isolated her. So much so that it drove her to what was essentially suicide ( she knew lying about ratting on the bank job would get her shot so )

I myself have a love hate feeling towards Dutch, but even if you are the biggest Dutch worshipper to walk the planet, you still have to acknowledge the way he behaves and the way he treats the people around him. Which very much includes his mistreatment of Molly.

#ask #I will defend this woman until my last breath #she’s not perfect #and neither is Dutch #but to diminish her abuse is just kinda gross of you ! Hope this helps #molly o'shea #Dutch van der linde im in your walls #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2

[maxpawb]

2 years on testosterone and i couldnt be happier ^_^ i wish all transmascs a very awesome day

#art #furry #getting a little sentimental LOL.... #starting HRT saved my life and diminished my gender dysphoria #im so much happier in my body and identity after i embraced being transmasc and was able to transition!!!!!!!!!

[dallonwrites]

i do think as writers and creatives we would all benefit from letting ourselves embrace and enjoy being a beginner at something. and not just in a "because one day you will improve and see how far you've come" way but actually enjoying being an amateur at something in the moment. embracing the fun and excitement of something new even if you don't really know anything yet. like i'm making a worldbuilding bible for the first time and do i have any idea what i'm doing? no. am i having fun? absolutely

#what's that thing where it's like it can be harder/less enjoyable to be intermediate than a beginner #because becoming aware of your improvement makes you more hyperaware of where specifically you're struggling #anyway being a beginner is so fun i think all of us should be beginners more often #don't think about your lack of experience or knowledge compared to others just have fun because yayyy shiny new thing to play around with #also i dont believe in the scale of beginner to advanced writer really!!! #like yes i would say i'm 'experienced' but only in some ways! like litfic and flash and character development #im absolutely a beginner when it comes to proper novel writing or speculative worldbuilding #that's not to diminish anybody's hard work or progress it's just to say that beginner and advanced are not too far off separate entities #they're things you can be simultaneously and i think its actually very beneficial to be simultaneously #because you should never believe you are Too Experienced or Too Knowledgeable to keep learning new things #trying a new angle of writing as a beginner will teach you things about writing you won't learn from #and staying where you have the most experience etc #and also its just fun! mix it up!! try new things!! be free #even if its just a silly little side project

[paintingformike]

i’ve made a similar post about this before but it really is easier to understand the outcome of the el/mike/will love triangle if people simply looked at it from a different angle. most of the debates about it are centered around how mike feels, if he ever had feelings for el in the past or he never did, if he’s in love with will or el etc. but think about it...between el and will, who do you think has been shown to continuously love mike wholeheartedly, unconditionally and meaningfully? whose feelings have been written with so much depth to the point it’s being called “beautiful” by the cast?

i think if we’re being completely honest and objective, writing down the word “love” in all your letters just...doesn’t compare to pouring your entire heart and soul into making a painting representing your love for your best friend, waxing poetic about all his traits that you love and appreciate him for, saying he makes you feel better for being different, showing him his worth as a person, being the only one to consistently check up on how he feels and comforting and reassuring him through his troubles.

i've genuinely tried imagining el feeling this much unconditional love for mike and pictured her trying to express similar sentiments about him as deep as will’s feelings go but i just...cant. seeing more of these conversations about el being the one to have never been in love with mike or develop any sort of feelings for him just hammers down the point more. it’s a harsh fact to lay out i guess, and i’m not trying to say el doesn’t care about mike or loves him atleast platonically, but if i’m going to be really frank...will just loves mike far more profoundly and deeply. and it’s not a bad thing, it’s just the truth. like we don’t really see much of mike feeling loved by her either, in fact, when people ask her what he likes/loves about him she’s never really sure about how she feels, like when max asked her if she enjoyed kissing mike she said she didn’t even know if she did 😭

obviously we can’t just hold el up to high standards when it comes to relationship matters, and it’s important to consider the life she has been leading thus far as a kid who was raised in a lab and has only had a few years to navigate around society and experience a somewhat “normal” life, including her knowledge of relationships. but this is simply about who was really shown to love mike for who he is and who mike feels the most comfortable opening up to first, and it’s not a bad thing that el can’t love mike the way will does, because she does love and care about him, just in different ways. but it’s telling of who really is the right person for mike and who has the love that he’s always wanted and needed.

#if i worded something weird here lmk cause i dont want to sound like im trying to diminish elmike’s relationship or anything 😭 #but lets quit the sugarcoating #and admit that what will feels for mike just doesnt compare to what theyve shown us about el loving mike thus far #the second love interest was given the opportunity to compliment the person in the middle/list out everything he loved about who he is #but not the one actually dating the person in the middle? make it make sense 😭 #byler #byler analysis #byler analysis by me

[bestworstcase]

what do you make of ozma’s motivations given that he initially rejects the god of light’s offer and only takes it once he knows it’s the only way he can see salem again, but then once they’re actually reunited he places the mission from the god of light above being with her? did he aways have that much faith? is it just that salem’s faith was broken so completely that she’s the only one who can see the gods clearly?

ozma's like. fundamental dilemma in TLF is whether or not to trust salem. as much as he dearly wants to be with her… "salem lives, but the woman you hold dear in your memories is gone. heed this warning: where you seek comfort, you will only find pain."

think about what must have run through his mind when he heard the god of light say that to him. he's just learnt that the god of darkness did something so bad that all of humankind was wiped out, and that the brothers have chosen to depart. but light also tells him that humanity will return, diminished, and that he wants to send ozma back into the world to prepare for a day of judgment. "if your kind is unchanged, if you demand our blessings while still fighting among yourselves, then man will be found irredeemable and your world will be wiped from existence."

light doesn't say it in so many words, but the implication that Humans Fucked Up is crystal clear. if your kind is unchanged, you will be found irredeemable and destroyed.

then he tells ozma that salem is still alive, but unrecognizable as the woman he once loved, and that she will hurt him if he seeks her out.

what light's implying here in essence is that salem provoked the god of darkness, causing the "tragedy" that led to the brothers' departure. (and that is what happened, as far as he's concerned.) ozma picks up on that implication, but what he hears is "the woman you love is damned, but there is still a chance for redemption."

after all, why else would the god of light ask him to do this? at this point ozma has no reason to doubt what light tells him, and light presents himself as a benevolent authority hopeful that humanity can redeem itself.

"i'll do it!"—he wants to save her.

notably, ozma does in fact heed the warning for quite some time; he travels for years, hearing whispers of a dangerous witch wherever he goes, before deciding he "need[s] to see what she had become."

but then he sees her again, and… she's herself. physically she has changed, sure, but he recognizes her; she recognizes him. she still loves him. she's overjoyed to see him again—she even still remembers what he said to her on the day they met, and echoes it back to him with tears in her eyes.

so like ???

is it over? has whatever curse or madness befell her broken now they’re together again? or… was the god of light wrong…?

she tells him her story, but there are pieces missing. the gods are to blame for ending the world, she says. it is impossible to miss how much she hates the brothers.

what did she do?

"though time passed and all seemed well, ozma's conversation with the god of light still lingered in his mind. he had found happiness, but humanity seemed more divided than ever before." <- he begins to worry that maybe it's not that salem will hurt him; maybe by choosing to stay with her now, he's jeopardizing the chance for redemption.

but he isn't willing to leave her because, of course, he wants to save her. so he cautiously tests the waters by commenting on how divided humanity is.

and her answer seems really promising! "are you surprised? this world is quite literally godless. these humans have no one to guide them. perhaps that's all they need."

that… actually sounds very much like she thinks the brothers' absence is the source of the strife and suffering, just as the god of light told him it would be. and it catches ozma off guard, because he didn't expect that from her. so he asks what she means.

"we could become the gods of this world; our powers surpass all others. our souls transcend death. we could mold these lands into whatever we want…" <- okay, that's more in line with what he might have expected based on her opinion of the brothers, and it's not great. but then she warms to the idea:

"what you want! create the paradise—" watch how ozma's face changes as she says this. his expression softens. he smiles. he's hearing that—blasphemy notwithstanding—salem really wants to support him in this. that's the part she's enthused about. what you want.

and then she finishes the thought: "–the old gods could not."

it isn't just that she hates the brothers; salem envisions a paradise without them. she doesn’t think this world is damned at all; as far as she's concerned, the brothers' absence is a cause for hope.

(and what does that mean for her?)

this:

is not a "you convinced me" face. this is an "i can fix her" face.

the problem of course is that he can't. salem hates the brothers because when she prayed to them they forced her to watch her lover burn to death in her arms twice over and then sentenced her to eternal suffering to punish her for lashing out. she hates them because she is the sole survivor of their genocide. no matter how long ozma goes along with her, no matter how long he lets her believe that this is what he wants, he's never going to be able to coax her out of that hatred.

which doesn't stop him from trying.

he's able to keep the deception going as long as they're building a following, and establishing a prosperous new kingdom, and having children together. but he told her he wanted to unite the world—end all division and bring everyone together under one creed. salem is, er, right to point out that the only way to do that is by conquest.

and that's the point where ozma has to admit to his ulterior motives, because salem was not kidding when she said she would do this for him. so he pumps the brakes and tells her everything, still hoping to somehow do the impossible and save her.

"don't you see? none of that matters anymore! why spend our lives trying to redeem these humans when we could replace them with what they could never be?"

[obligatory note: i think she means "replace the gods" here, as a reiteration of her extremely longstanding ambition of doing exactly that; the goal of her rebellion was for humans to "destroy their old masters" and "claim the powers of their creators for themselves," she tells ozma "we could be the gods of this world" and that they can "create the paradise the old gods could not" like this has always been what she's about.]

cue ozma:

he really does think about it.

i think this is the point where he faced the reality that he had to choose between joining salem in rebellion or sacrificing her for the world's sake. and… he wants to take her hand, he wants to stay with her, but the consequence of hiding this from her for so long is he's never actually thought about her utter rejection of the gods in a substantive way; he's warped their whole relationship through the lens of that hatred being a problem he needs to solve. it's not that he had faith in the god of light so much as it is he never had faith in her.

if it were ten or fifteen years ago and she was asking him to forget the mandate and stay with her in their cottage, it would still be frightening to take the hand she offered him, to trust that she is right to blame the gods and say these humans do not need redemption.

but now? when he's sunk so much time inching down the road to war in the name of saving her from those ideas, and he has to not only trust that she's right about the brothers but also that she'll be willing to turn away from the tyrannical path they've walked down together? he's done nothing but play along all these years in the ever-fainter hope that one day she'll be more amenable to the mandate; he has no idea how she'll react if he pushes back, and he thinks of her as damned.

so… he can't, in the end. when she confronts him with the choice he falls down the path of least resistance to conclude that he can't save her and that he'll bring the world to ruin if he keeps trying. so he leaves.

and then he's locked into that choice because they murdered each other and killed their kids and destroyed their kingdom about it and even if he could admit the desire to himself how can he possibly make amends for doing that to her? any apology or gesture of reconciliation he made, she has no reason to trust and every reason to see another attempt to deceive her again. the mandate is really all he has left, so he clings to it even as he gradually distorts it more and more into this existential struggle between himself and her.

#and then salem's desperately trying to make him STOP. #look how you've diminished. how you've lessened yourself. and for what? these children? this ruined world? why do you keep coming back!? #it's for her. still. #holding onto her the only way he can think of #but salem doesn't believe that he ever loved her at all—i think that is pretty evident from how she acts around him now—so she's at a loss #anyway im sad.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

cw // possible eyestrain

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Sound Sensitivity

#here is some unrelated artwork i'll be posting occasionally for now on #this might seem confusing to you (and I'm not talking specifically about the drawing) #i don't usually bring up anything about my personal problems but this one really is a thing #all i have to tell you. person reading the tags. is that sound sensitivity really fucking sucks. #and if someone reading this has sound sensitivity well i do hope the people around you are understanding of your condition #and that you find efficient ways to diminish the impact it has on you #whether if it's by using noise cancelling headphones. by leaving the loud environment or by learning to focus on something else #/// #this christmas i'm receiving a noise cancelling headphone from my bsf #im very happy and so thankfull for them #this gift is appreciated by my younger self #who. during birthday parties. couldnt stand anywhere close to ballons #who cried at the sounds of fireworks #who cried in class numerous times because it was too much #who was accused of faking it and blamed for ruining everyone's fun time #i remember being very confused and scared #my art #eye strain #artists on tumblr

[aroacettorney]

tbh i wish aup had more reps for characters who achieve greatness purely through hard work and effort. the emphasis on genius/being special is mayhaps way too much to the point that it feels kinda damn depressing for those who aint born as one.

#rant #why is everyone in aup a genius #the four musketeers have the potential for this but its unfortunate that we dont get to see it fleshed out #even aiden ended up relying on his antimagic talents in the long run #ngl owens would have been more impressive to me if they r hardworkers instead of born special #it would have made the fact that ludger took them in more interesting #and mayhaps even highlighted his qualifications as a teacher #(lowkey im still salty that we dont get the full arc of ludger teaching magic to arpa lmfao) #(owens growth feels much less impactful to me bc they are already so special that them becoming that OP is nothing surprising) #plus i thought fighting against the unfairness of the world was a theme for owens #even if one managed to close the gap between the wealthy and the poor or noble and non-noble #the division between a genius and a non-genius itself would only create another kind of classism #how r they gonna challenge it as the members of the one and only special talent club? #violetta is the closest to be the hardworking one but even then her achievement still has a hand of a devil in it #also while surna had to learn everything from scratch he had been around for hundreds if not thousands of years #not to diminish his achievements but that hardly counts cuz it still puts him next to the special treatment category #not to mention being able to learn something simply by observing it is also a kind of cheat code itself...

[smolsix]

-blows dust off this blog-

So

Little Nightmares III, huh???

I was trying to avoid being excited about it because no solid release date and 2024 could be a few months from now or a year from now and Idk how long I can handle being so fuckin hyped for this game YEEHAW

BUT I CAN'T, I KEEP THINKING ABT THE GAME AAHAHHGAGA

so here are my thoughts, if you wanted to know

FIRST OF ALL, i am so glad that after we saw LTNM II we thought it'd be co-op but it was just an AI, that we finally get co-op! AND ONLINE TOO, i spent the first day worried it'd be shared screen same room situation since i wasn't trying to get my hopes up but then I realised I can just.. google it.. AND IT IS!!! ONLINE!! IDK WHO I AM GONNA PLAY IT W FIRST AAAAAAAA

anyways, you can definitely tell it's a new studio working on this game, the world feels mostly the same but the character designs themselves are definitely stylistically similar, but not the same. With Six especially, the MC designs were very simplistic and realistic but used colour (or for Mono, a single design quirk being the bag) to stand out against their backgrounds and against the enemies which are largely neutral colours. But these new ones feel... "over designed"? On their own they definitely aren't, but in comparison to Mono, Six, Seven, and even NPCs like the flashlight girl, they have a lot more going on (especially the little wrench kid, Idk which one is Alone and which one is Low yet btw OOP)

Despite it being a new studio and you can tell, new puzzles and environments, they're still doing their best to have the OGs vibes and whatnot to feel familiar, namely in the trailer they bring back the fuses, and the additional gameplay video there's a short scene with an environment with all the shelves you can find in LTNM 1s gnome section (the one with the cart that is affected by the Maws swaying).

But regardless, it still feels different enough my brain is still nervous about it. I also feel In A Way about Tarsier having LTNM II explode and their franchise getting the attention it deserves, only to have it stuck with Bandai and now it's going to likely explode again and they aren't involved. Idk how anyone on that team feels about it, but if it were me omg.

Also the only boss we've seen so far (i hope they add more and i def want some to be a surprise so im not gonna assume this is the only one for now) feels... out of place? it has the design qualities of a LTNM boss, but the size of it makes it more of a spectacle than a warped/corruption of an adult. All the previous bosses fit in their environment, we are the small ones and they are scaled to the world around them. This is the first time, outside monster Six who imo is a bit of an outlier anyways due to her circumstances, we're getting a boss who is this huge and doesn't even fit their own environment. I hope we get a lore reason for this in some way, because currently the boss doesn't have the same vibe as the others and it's throwing me off a bit. Don't get me wrong, it'll be terrifying, but looking at the picture as a whole they are sort of out of place for me rn. I don't hate the bitch either, I'm not gonna be like omg get rid of it or change it, but it does strike me as odd seeing it for now.

And yes the tall man is too tall for a lot of things, but he's not THAT big. He's more like yer tall guy who hits his head off doorways, which happens irl anyways LMAO

Little Nightmares primarily tries to capture the feeling of being a small child and how everything is big and scary, but a doll that huge is out of the realm of reality set up for us already. It's gone from scary corrupted animal to godzilla, if that makes sense.

OH AND THE MIRRORS ARE VERY LTNM COMICS OF THEM TEE HEE < 3

#while i find the MCs designs to be a bit much for now they're fast growing on me as characters #they give me indie movie vibes more than little nightmares MCs vibes #but hey if we get a 4th installment then it goes from an outlier to part of a trend #my brain will get over it eventually anyways these are just my initial thoughts #oh and as long as they either dont bring back the flashlight or change its controls im mostly fine w the puzzles and whatnot #like suuuuuper minor gripe but i loved in the first games that when you had a weapon it was too big and too heavy #they had serious weight when you swung them and the mcs clearly struggled #and it really helped you feel powerless even when armed #i know the masked kid has a slingshot btw but i just hope it isnt used as an easy weapon and more as a distraction #having any kind of upper hand in this world sort of diminishes the initial scare factor they were going for #being that youre a small child helpless in this world #outside sixs ending but aside from the hallway you literally dont play w her power at the end #text #long post #little nightmares 3 #ltnm 3 #ooc

[and-you-found-me]

When you ship both ichiruki and ichihime but both the fandoms despise each other... lol life as a multishipper is tough

#ichiruki #ichihime #ichigo kurosaki #orihime inoue #rukia kuchiki #bleach #shipping discourse #on that note rukihime is also a valid ship ngl #cant believe i used to be so against ichihime too lol #glad that's over #it's a sweet ship and idk bro it's the way ichigo's eyes noticeably soften when he's around her #i think i like ichiruki more slightly due to nostalgia #but both are perfectly good ships #in all honesty i did not anticipate either ship becoming canon in the end lmao #i think shipping is meant to be fun that's what fanfiction fanart all these things are there for #unless the ship is so so problematic like im sure you all know what #idk what im trying to say is but there's merit to both ichihime and ichiruki #even if one is canon over the other it doesn't diminish the others relationship or whether or not ppl can ship it or not #just let ppl have fun lmao #idk #this got too long im sorry 😭 #mousie.txt

[philtstone]

everyone who knows me knows i am deeply and chronically a movie arawen enjoyer so it will come as no surprise that i am about to wax poetic about What They Achieved With That, but i truly think one of the most brilliant decisions in film adaptation history was taking book aragorns surety and giving it to arwen to embody it on screen as visual representation of the line yet with your hope i will hope. she is his hope > she is hope > he is hope (estel) and on screen, for the viewer, he learns to carry it while also being that hope all along through her. they have always been 2 parts of the same soul.

#there is just no way for me to be normal about this #phil reads lotr #it was the isildurs heir not isildur himself line that got to me #aragorn x arwen #ALSO i give hope to men i keep none for myself!!! because you ARE hope!! and so is she!!! youre the same person! #they have so many identical lines of dialogue in the movies. it makes me nuts #im going to stop my tags here because theyre diminishing in coherence and i dont want to tarnish my big brained revelation with rambling